


A Darker Shade of Love

by LittleSpoonStyles94



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Bondage, Bottom Harry, Businessman Louis, Depression, Disturbed Louis, Dominant Louis Tomlinson, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Sex, Gay Club, Gay Sex, Innocent Harry, Louis pain kink, M/M, Older Louis, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Powerful Louis, Rape, Rape Recovery, Rich Louis, Stripper Harry, Student Harry, Submissive Harry, Top Louis, Younger Harry, beatings, sadist Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-26 20:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 621,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13865517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpoonStyles94/pseuds/LittleSpoonStyles94
Summary: Louis is a 30 year old multi-billionaire with a very dark past. He is violent and is a sadist with a taste for pain.Harry Styles is a 19 year old student who sets out to London after being kicked out by his homophobic father to follow his dreams. He wants to go to the best University to study but he needs a lot of money so he starts to work as a part time stripper at a gay club to support his studies and his life.The club he works at, Garland's, is part owned by Louis Tomlinson. When they meet, its life changing for the both of them.





	1. Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is my first on going story. On Wattpad its already up to Chapter 25 but I had many people ask me to post it here as well as they don't have AO3. I will start posting updates really frequently depending on how well this fic is received. I had some hassle on Wattpad regarding its harsh topics despite the fact that I put up warnings. Anyway, I have been encouraged to continue it and I have. People seem to love this fic so I will not let them down. I don't know how it will be received on here so your feedback will be greatly appreciated. I will post chapter 1 for now and see how it goes. I am always uncertain regarding this fic as it can get harsh at times. I do hope you will like it and let me know if you want more of it. Also if you think of any more tags or warnings I should put up please let me know. I am still quite knew on here and I don't know all the ropes. Thank you to all. All the love M.

Encounter.

 

Louis left his office at 8:15 pm. He walked down the now semi lit corridor towards the elevators. Lynn, his secretary was still at her desk in her small office working. He stopped and poked his head round her door.

 

'Go home,' he told her kindly. 'It's been a long ass day and if I'm exhausted then you must be spent.' Lynn smiled up at him, her grey eyes sparkling in the light from her computer screen and desk lamp. Lynn was a trooper and a hard worker. She had been with him since the beginning and he knew he could rely on her for everything from getting him his morning latte to managing his business meetings and appointments. She was his right arm.

 

'Will do as soon as I finish filing today's closed deal Mr. Tomlinson.' Louis smiled at her and nodded.

 

'Not one minute longer Lynn and that's a Tommo order,' he told her winking at her. Lynn laughed. 'Goodnight darling.'

 

'Goodnight Mr. Tomlinson.' Louis walked down the rest of the corridor and stopped at the bank of elevators. Louis looked at the reception desk and saw Fletcher the night security setting up for the night shift.

 

'All good Fletcher?' Louis asked him as he pressed the call button and waited for the elevator.

 

'All good Mr. Tomlinson,' Fletcher replied with a smile and a thumbs up. Louis liked Fletcher. He had been with him for the past 3 years and he too was a hard worker. He was a middle aged family man with three little girls; Stacey 9, Amber 6 and Charlie 2. They were Fletcher's pride and joy and Louis loved to hear him talk about them. Louis had met them once when they had an open day at the office and Fletcher had bought them in. The elevator doors open.

 

'Have a goodnight Fletcher,' Louis told him as he stepped inside the elevator and pressed the ground floor button.

 

'You too Mr. Tomlinson,' Fletcher replied. Louis smiled at him as the doors closed with a ding. The elevator began it's downward descent and Louis sighed heavily. It had been a tough day of business meeting after business meeting, conferences, video calls and endless phone calls to his abroad companies. The launching of their new software was causing a commotion. Both Microsoft and Apple where in cahoots over who will close the deal first with Tomlinson Global Enterprises (TGE)

 

Tomlinson Global Enterprises manufactured new technological software for computers, mobile phones and gaming. It was a tough market but Louis had been brilliant at coming up with the strategy that instead of starting another software company, he wanted to design software that software companies wanted. His company was all about technology and communication. He was CEO, owner and founder of the enterprise and at 30, he was the youngest mulitbillionaire in the world.

 

Louis was an excellent businessman: determined, head strong and ambitious. Ever since from a young age he knew where he wanted to be. The life he had lived until he was 16, was the life he did not picture for his future self. He worked hard and from the bottom he worked his way up. He was driven by passion and determination to be a success. Today, he was an established and much respected businessman. He never backed out of a deal and always got the deals he wanted. He never bartered. He always kept his eyes on what he wanted to achieve and his single minded determination helped him achieve that. Louis loved power and he loved control. No one messed with Louis William Tomlinson and if they dared, they knew they would go down in ashes. Some thought him ruthless and he had no problem with that. He really didn't care what people thought of him or what gossip went on behind his back. He loved his life and no one was going to change that.

 

He walked out of the double glass doors of his London offices in Canary Wharf in North Greenwich onto the Plaza. Canary Wharf was a beautiful part of London, a business quarter if you will flanked by the river Thames and the beautiful O2 Arena. It was raining softly and The Plaza was lit with lamps and there were still tables from the restaurants surrounding the Plaza under huge umbrellas with people having late drinks and dinners. Louis inhaled and slowly exhaled feeling thankful even though he was worn out. He was met by Calvin Rodgers, his bodyguard who opened an umbrella for Louis.

 

'Good evening Sir,' Calvin greeted him politely. Louis stood under the umbrella and huffed.

 

'Does it always rain in the bloody country? I should go run my offices in Los Angeles where it's always sunny. This is so fucking depressing.' He walked with Calvin under the umbrella towards his black Bentley. Angus, his chauffeur opened his door for him.

 

'Good evening Sir,' Angus told him politely. Louis nodded at him, not feeling very conversational and slid into the back seat of his expensive classic car. He undid the button of his charcoal grey Armani tailored suit jacket and sighed heavily, relishing the relaxing seats. His muscles ached and he needed some down time.

 

'Where to Sir?' Angus asked him, looking at him through the rear view mirror. Calvin slid in the passenger seat next to Angus.

 

'Garland's,' Louis told him. Angus nodded and started the car. Garland's was a well known gay strip club for exclusive and elite members only. Louis was openly gay and single, making him the most eligible bachelor on the market. Louis didn't believe in love. He didn't believe in romance and dates and heart and flowers. He had learned at a young age that love hurt and made you weak and he didn't want that. There was a time when he was weak and had no control over his life and he swore to himself he would never feel that again. He did believe in one night stands and very short term relationships. He believed in escorts for exclusive parties but that was just about it. In the past he had been closely linked to Marc Jacobs the designer, actor Lance Bass and of recent actor Chris Colfer. Louis was known to love them and leave them, often leaving a string of broken hearts in his wake.In other words, Mr. Tomlinson was a heart breaker.

 

Louis knew that they fell for him easily and he made it easy for them to fall. He was handsome and fit, with striking blue eyes, caramel hair, bronzed skin and an ass to die for. He always treated his male companions like royalty, like they really mattered, giving them his full attention until he got what he wanted: sex. Louis was sex crazed. He craved it.He needed it. He demanded it as it was the only thing that fed his fetish, a fetish that not everyone understood or wanted to be part of. Not everyone was in to sadism. Louis had a pain kink. He loved to deliver pain which was what got him off. Thus he was always careful who he trusted with his playtime kink. Those who could be trusted where made to sign an NDA, forbidding them legally from ever disclosing anything that went on during Louis' playtime hours.

 

The Bentley stopped in front of the club, a two story building just off London's Soho red light district. It was in a remote street. The building was painted black with the name Garland's in purple neon on the side of the building. It was a very posh and high class establishment. The male staff there was very accommodating and though it was a licensed and legal club, illegal activities took place in Garland's VIP rooms on the second floor.

 

Louis told Angus to go home and that he would call him when he needed him. Louis was looking forward to a long night with maybe one or two of his boys. He needed to let off steam. He stepped out of the car just as Calvin stepped out too ready to accompany his boss inside. Louis walked in, earning respectful nods from the security at the door. He stepped inside the club and was greeted by the owner Adam Lambert.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson always good to have you at Garland's,' Adam greeted him with a huge smile. Louis smiled at Adam. He liked him. He had helped him start up this place. He and Adam went back a few years, to a time that Louis did not like to dwell on. Garland's was a beautiful chic place,that's what Adam had wanted when he had gone to ask Louis if he'd be interested in investing in the new club. Louis had liked the idea and he had invested. Since then, he had never regretted his decision. He hardly failed at a business proposition before and he surely hadn't failed at Garland's.

 

Louis looked around as Adam went to the bar to get him his usual welcome drink: a stiff scotch. The main area of the club had a bar that ran the whole length of one side of the club with black marble top and high stools with deep purple cushioning. The iron work in the place was all a gold plated. The walls were a deeper shade of purple with golden scones on the walls giving off a low light. Tables with marble tops and golden legs filled the floor with chairs sporting the same deep purple cushioning and golden legs. At the front was a small stage with 3 golden poles and purple velvet curtains. On the walls hung big black and white pictures of movie and music icons such as Judy Garland, Liza Minelli, Cher, Madonna, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn and Brigitte Bardot.

 

The main area was the area that Louis liked to refer to as the 'no-touching-area'.You watched the strip show then you have a hot guy in tight boxers or a thong give you a very hot lap dance but you cannot touch them. It was strictly prohibited to touch the male dancers and strippers in this area. You had to sit there while the guy gyrates in your lap giving you a hell of a boner and you cannot touch unless of course you pay extra for the Garland's VIP section. Here you get intimate one on one service with the boy of your choice.

 

A hot good looking well toned waiter dressed in nothing but tight black boxers,black suspenders and a black bow tie round his neck approached Louis with a tray, smiling at him seductively and handed him his drink.Louis took a swallow of his whiskey and looked at a guy sitting in one of the chairs getting a hot lap dance by a guy wearing nothing but a gold thong. Louis felt his cock twitch. He turned to Adam who was by the bar.

 

'Send Ryan,' Louis ordered. 'And a bottle of Dom. Now!' He began walking towards the back of the club where there were the stairs that led up to the second floor. Ryan was Louis' boy of choice. Ryan knew what Louis liked and what Louis wanted and expected from him and he never disappointed him. Louis didn't have to waste time explaining what he expected and what he needed. Ryan was a good submissive and he always pleased Louis. He took pain like a champ! Adam hurried after Louis and reached him as he pushed open the black door with the purple VIP stenciled on it. He stepped inside the room so familiar to him and he instantly felt at home. He loved how everything was color coded: the deep purple walls, large black couch that seated 10 people easily with purple cushions, the black carpet beneath his feet, the gold scones on the walls and the purple lampshades giving off a warm glow making the room intimate. Louis took off his jacket and loosened his tie.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' Adam said softly, nervously fidgeting with his fingers. He had to tread carefully. He knew what Louis was like when he was in a bad mood. Louis turned to look at him with desperate eyes and alack of patience.

 

'Adam, I've had a fuck of a day. I'm tired and I'm stressed and I've used up all my patience. All I want is to unwind, drink and have a good fuck? Is that too much to ask for round here?' Adam swallowed played with his fingers.

 

'No Sir its not and we are here to accommodate your needs only but Ryan is not available Sir.' Adam stopped and held his breath, waiting for Louis to blow up and throw a tantrum.

 

'Fuck,' Louis hissed through his teeth. He ran a hand through his quiffed hair,making it a little messy. 'Fine. Just fucking send in somebody else.I guess beggars can't be fucking choosers now can they?' Adam smiled at him broadly glad that Louis didn't throw a hissy fit.

 

'I have just the perfect guy for you Mr. Tomlinson. I will be right back.' Adam left the room quickly, silently closing the door behind him. He hurried down the corridor and turned left and stepped into a large room the guys that worked at Garland's used as dressing/relaxing room. The room was large and spacious, similarly furnished in the same color theme as the whole establishment. It had black couches, 2 large flat screens on the wall, vanity units with lights adorning mirrors and wardrobes full of costumes. The room was empty except for Harry, who was sitting on one of the couches with his laptop in his lap.

 

'Harry,' Adam breathed in relief, glad he had found him here. 'Harry my love I have a job for you in VIP.' Harry looked up from his laptop, his green eyes wide, a look of shock in them.

 

'But I've never done a VIP before Adam. I don't know what....'

 

'Harry Harry sweetheart take a deep breath for me and calm the fuck down. I have Mr. Tomlinson in VIP. Do you know who Mr. Tomlinson is? Mr. Tomlinson is major share holder of Garland's and one of our biggest and regular clients here and Ryan who is his usual is not here to see to his needs today so I need you to be a darling for me and go in there and take care of him. Can you do that my love?' Harry gulped and got up off the couch, standing in front of Adam.

 

'But I...'

 

'Harry for the love of God your job here is to please men. Mr. Tomlinson provides, your, my and everyone else's wages here. Now, you are going to put on a nice tailored pair of pants and a smart button down shirt for him because Mr. Tomlinson likes them smartly dressed and you are going to go in there and please the man in any way or form he desires. You are going to let him do to you whatever he wants, whatever he needs to get his pleasure on and you are going to take it like a good little boy alright. Can you do that for me hun?' Adam was feeling his patience wearing thin. Harry was a newbie. The youngest newbie Garland's had. He was only 19, a student and had been working here for almost 6 weeks. So far he had always worked the main floor and stage but he was in high demand by their clients so Adam reckoned Harry was ready for a promotion into VIP.

 

Adam handed Harry a pair of black suit pants and a dress shirt. Harry took them yet remained immobile staring at Adam with his big green eyes and long curly hair.

 

'I uhm I don't think I'm ready for this Mr. Lambert,' Harry drawled quietly chewing his bottom lip nervously. Adam ground his teeth together and took in a deep breath trying to keep calm.

 

'Harry you listen to me. You are here to do a job so you are going to get into those fucking clothes and go into that room and you are going to do whatever Mr. Tomlinson wants and if he wants to fuck you till you pass out then you are going to let him do that because we all depend on it. Pleasing Mr. Tomlinson will keep us all in a job so you are going to go in there and please the man alright? Be ready in 5 minutes. He doesn't like to be kept waiting not when he's stressed and horny.' Adam turned and left the room, leaving a panicked Harry behind.

 

X

 

Louis sat on the couch waiting for Adam to come back as he sipped his Dom Perignon from a crystal flute. He looked at his gold Rolex and huffed in annoyance. He hated to be kept waiting not really doing any good to his already fucked up temper. He felt sorry for the poor bastard he was going to fuck tonight. Probably won't be able to walk or sit fora few days after he was done with him. A light knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts. The door opened slowly and Adam walked in cautiously.

 

'Took you well bloody long enough....' Louis' words trailed off into nothing as he saw the boy that entered shyly behind Adam. The boy kept his head down, a head of long beautiful soft curls that hung just below his shoulders and fell around his face. Louis' eyes made a quick assertion of the boy. He was tall with legs that went on for miles, he was slender and lean with narrow hips and very fidgety fingers. Louis found himself immediately intrigued.

 

'Mr Tomlinson, this is Harry. He will be taking care of whatever you will need tonight.' Louis saw Adam nudge Harry forward, the boy stumbling clumsily over his own feet. Louis watched with curious eyes as the boy raised his head slowly and a pair of big emerald eyes slammed into Louis.

 

What the fuck?

 

The voice in his head stirred. Louis could swear that his breath hitched when he saw that beautiful face. He was pale and his eyes were so green, framed by long dark lashes, his lips full and rosy and those soft chestnut curls that framed his face. He looked angelic.

 

'Go...good evening Sir,' Harry rasped. Louis felt goosebumps break out all over his skin at the sound of his voice. For a tall, gangly boy who was all limbs and angelic features, he had a really deep voice and he spoke with a very slow drawl that crawled all over Louis' body,caressing him in the most seductive way. Louis wanted to hear this boy scream out his name in that raspy voice of his.

 

What the actual fuck?

 

'Adam leave,' Louis ordered, not taking his eyes off Harry. Adam nodded, a satisfied smile on his lips and walked out leaving them alone. Louis continued to check out Harry, undressing him with his eyes. He noticed that Harry was still fidgeting with his fingers and looking down at his black smart shoes.

 

'Come here,' Louis ordered and Harry walked over to him, never raising his head and stopped a few feet away from him.

 

A natural born submissive. Excellent.

 

'Closer,' Louis urged him and Harry obeyed, walking closer till he was practically standing between Louis' legs, his dick level with Louis'face. Louis looked up at him and found those green eyes staring curiously at him, those mass of soft curls framing this angel's beautiful face. Louis thought he was fascinating.

 

A novelty, the voice in his head threw at him.

 

Louis placed his hands behind Harry's knees and trailed them slowly up the back of his thighs till he cupped Harry's small but firm ass. Harry jerked back a little as soon as he felt Louis' hands on his cheeks kneading them. Harry wasn't used to being touched.

 

'On your knees,' Louis ordered quietly but with a stern voice. Harry bit his lower lip innocently and Louis felt that go straight to his already hardened dick. 'Don't bite your fucking lip,' he told him a little harshly. 'Now get down on your fucking knees and don't make me say it again.' Harry quickly let go of his lip and dropped to his knees between Louis' legs.

 

Harry felt himself tremble and shake with the anxiety this situation was causing him. He had never had a man's hands on him before. He felt the other man's eyes rove over him but he didn't dare look up. Suddenly he felt a finger under his chin and gently tilt his face up.

 

'Look at me,' Louis ordered. Harry lifted his eyes and up close he found himself staring into gorgeous pools of blue so deep that he felt himself drowning in them. When Adam had requested him to do VIP, he had expected some bald, fat old man with sweaty hands and foul smelling breath, smoking a cigar and downing whiskey like most of their clients but Mr. Tomlinson was young and gorgeous and he had beautifully quiffed hair and a stubble and the most amazing blue eyes Harry had ever seen with really long lashes that looked soft and thin pink lips. Harry realized that he was staring at the man and that was not polite. He looked away.

 

So shy and respectful.

 

'You like what you see?' Louis asked him. Harry swallowed and blushed profusely. Louis saw the blush spread from the boys' neck to his cheeks and he thought it was the fucking cutest thing he had ever seen. How could he be shy in the line of work?

 

And why the fuck are you drooling all over him and thinking he's cute?

 

'Answer me,' Louis demanded. He wanted to see that blush again. It was highly arousing how this angel was so shy and reserved and respectful.

 

'Ye yes Si Sir,' Harry stammered out. Louis found him endearing and he was dying to get inside of him and fuck him hard. His cock agreed with him.

 

Louis kept his finger under Harry's chin and when his green eyes locked into his again, he felt something he couldn't explain, something he had never felt before, something between his tummy and stomach that fluttered and made him feel funny. This boy was gorgeous and he had a certain innocence about him that made Louis feel a thing that he didn't understand.

 

You took a liking to the boy Tomlinson

 

Louis pushed the thought aside. It was ridiculous. There was nothing special about this boy. Just another man whore. He wanted to have him on his hands and knees and fuck him senseless after beating the crap out of him, till he begged him to stop. Not that he would stop! He wanted to ruin that beautiful ass of his.

 

'Takeoff your shirt,' Louis commanded him quietly. 'Slowly. One button a ta time.' Harry gulped feeling nervous and scared. This man intimidated him. Something about the way he spoke with such authority and the way he expected to be obeyed. Harry lifted shaky fingers to the first button of his shirt and undid it. Louis rested his back against the couch and took another sip of his champagne watching the boy with lustful and hungry eyes. When Harry undid his first button, Louis caught the first glimpse of the boys chest. He felt his suit pants get tighter. The second button opened slowly and Louis noticed how the boy trembled. The third button revealed a necklace with across hanging just beneath the boys' collarbones on an smooth chest in between 2 tattoos of two swallows.

 

Louis watched as Harry continued to open his shirt one button at a time. It was a turn on watching him slowly undo each button and knowing he was shy doing it. When all the buttons where undone, Louis watched as Harry took in a deep breath and slid the shirt off his shoulders,letting it fall to the floor, his face turning that gorgeous pink shade. He kept his eyes on the floor and Louis hated that. He wanted to see his gorgeous eyes.

 

'Look at me,' Louis whispered, hardly able to speak as he took in the sight before him. Harry's alabaster skin was littered with dark tattoos: a ship, nails, a heart, a rose, a bible, an anchor, a butterfly on his stomach and laurel leaves just above the waist band of his pants.Louis' eyes roved over him hungrily as he took in his muscled biceps and his toned abs and the small trail of dark hair leading from beneath his navel in to his pants. He was so hard for this boy his dick hurt.

 

You might want to stop drooling now Tomlinson. Geez get a grip.

 

Louis could feel the boys eyes on him watching him curiously and perhaps with a little fear. Louis knew that he was intimidating and right now he didn't give a fuck. Louis wanted to dominate this boy. He wanted to do things to him, have him beg and plead. He desperately wanted the boys luscious plump pink lips around his dick and suck him off until he exploded in his mouth. He wanted to fuck his mouth so bad watching him now breathing softly though his mouth, his lips parted. The thought of hitting the back of his throat again and again then watching him swallow made Louis harder.

 

Harry was looking down again, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks and Louis didn't fail to notice how the boy was shy and uncomfortable and it made him want to wreck him even more, to destroy that innocence about him. He wanted to see him embarrassed and awkward. He wanted to see him lose his control and hear him whimper and moan.

 

'Well?' Louis asked him. 'I'm waiting.' Harry's head snapped up and he found those blue blue eyes on him, searching, questioning, expecting.

 

'Wha...what exactly d-do you want me to do Sir? Harry stuttered, fidgeting nervously with his fingers. He felt flustered especially when he noticed the bulge in Louis' pants.

 

Is he fucking kidding me or? Is he being a submissive for me? But how does he know? Did Adam tell him anything? Is he for fucking real? Well two can play this fucking game.

 

Louis smirked at him, seeing how awkward and uncomfortable the boy was. He didn't even know how hot he looked there on his knees with no shirt on.

 

'I want you to suck my dick and I want to come in your mouth and you will be a very good boy for me and swallow every last drop unless you want me to take off my belt and show you what you get if you are a naughty boy and spill my cum.' Louis watched as the boys' eyes grew impossibly wide, his mouth open into a perfect little O and the blush on his cheeks deepen, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously in his throat as he gulped.

 

Oh fuck I scared him. Nice going Tomlinson.

 

'Ye...yes Sir,' Harry whispered as he slowly reached out shaking hands and began to fumble with Louis' belt. His hands were sweating and shaking and because his hands were so big, he was doing a clumsy job of unbuckling Mr. Tomlinson's belt.

 

Louis watched him with amused curiosity, laid back and relaxed sipping his champagne. Something about the boy was very endearing. There was something sexy and very arousing about his clumsiness and innocence.He could feel a part of Harry's arm resting on his very hard erection, brushing him every time he tried to unbuckle his god damn belt.

 

For fuck's sake undo it already!

 

It was taking all of Louis' self control not to pounce on Harry and just fuck him. He closed his eyes as Harry's hand brushed his erection one more time. To his relief, Harry managed to unbuckle the belt.Louis opened his eyes and looked at him. He saw beads of sweat on his forehead and upper lip. He felt him tug and tug at his pants button.Louis watched him in fascinated amusement as his tongue peeked out from between his lips and frown lines appeared between his eyebrows as he concentrated on the button.

 

Jesus fucking Christ its just a button for the love of God!

 

Louis placed his hand on the boy's shaking hands, stopping him. Harry looked up at Louis, expecting to be scolded.

 

'Are you nervous?' Louis asked him in a gentle voice. Harry looked down quickly. 'Look at me when I talk to you!' Louis snapped at him harshly. He hated that he looked away and couldn't hold eye contact with him. Harry looked up at Louis.

 

'Ye...yes Sir,' Harry stuttered. 'Yes I...I'm nervous. Very.' Louis kept his eyes locked in Harry's green ones. He saw him blink rapidly, his bare chest rising and falling, his breathing fast. Louis took Harry's hand, never breaking eye contact with him and placed his hand on his dick, pressing Harry's hand down into his hard erection with his own hand. Louis hissed in pleasure at finally feeling some friction on his painfully hard dick. Harry stiffened and didn't move. Louis smirked at him.

 

'You've never done this before have you?' he asked him. Harry looked down away from Louis' burning gaze. 'Did I tell you you could fucking look down?' Louis asked him harshly, grabbing his chin roughly and lifting up his face, his fingers digging into Harry's flesh. Harry winced and when eyes met his, he could see that the boy was frightened.

 

'I'm going to ask you again and you are going to reply truthfully. Have you done this before?' Harry's lower lip trembled and Louis felt aflutter in his chest and it confused him.

 

'N-no Sir,' Harry whispered. Louis kept his fingers tight on Harry's chin.

 

'Have you ever been with a man before?' Harry gulped. He wanted to look away from the man's blue eyes, he wanted to run away from this man that was making him feel afraid. Louis tightened his grip on Harry's chin and watched him wince again as his fingers dug into his smooth chin. 'Answer me,' he growled.

 

'N-no Sir I, I haven't,' Harry stammered out. Louis kept his grip on Harry's chin, his eyes into those deep green eyes that were sparkling and looking at him with fear. He let go of his chin.

 

A virgin? A fucking virgin? This beautiful angel has never been touched or fucked? You won the lottery and jack pot Tomlinson!

 

'Fucking Adam!' Louis growled again as he got up off the couch nearly pushing Harry to the floor. He began walking towards the door. 'I'll tell that mother fucker where to send his next virgin to....' Louis felt a soft hand close around his wrist. He stopped in his tracks and looked down, seeing Harry's long, slender fingers gently wrapped around his wrist. Louis felt his chest tighten and panic begin to rise in his chest, an old familiar fear rising to the surface. He lifted his gaze to Harry who was standing rather too close to him.

 

Breathe in breathe out. Don't lose your shit in front of him.

 

'Get your fucking hands off me,' he hissed angrily between clenched teeth.Harry quickly let go of Louis' wrist and took a step back away from him. Louis watched at how Harry trembled and was a nervous wreck in front of him.

 

Jesus Tomlinson nice going. You are scaring the shit out of him!

 

'I...I'm s-so sorry Mr. Tomlimson Sir. Please d-don't tell Adam. Please Sir he...he doesn't know I...I'm a virgin and never done this before. P-please Sir he will f-fire me,' Harry begged him, his eyes large and pleading. Harry looked down and away from Louis' gaze feeling ashamed and scared.

 

'You lied to him?' Louis asked him, his voice dangerously low. Harry swallowed hard.

 

'I had to,' he said quietly, his eyes cast down. 'Otherwise he wouldn't have hired me.' Louis felt a tug at his insides at the boy's soft,deep voice. Not to mention the fluttering between his stomach and tummy had started up again. What was it about this boy that was making him feel this weird shit?

 

You like him!

 

'Look at me,' Louis ordered him and slowly Harry raised his head but did not meet Louis' eyes. Louis could see that Harry's eyes were shining and he swore to himself that if he cried or something he would fucking take off his belt and give him something to cry about. His cock twitched, agreeing with him. Louis ignored his aching dick,which was a first because his dick always came first but Harry was confusing him, making him feel things he never felt before. Louis never felt compassion or pity or anything really for a man whore.They where there to do a job. Like Ryan was. He never felt anything towards Ryan. He was completely indifferent to him and his feelings. He couldn't give a flying fuck. All that mattered was that Ryan served him well. Louis couldn't fathom what it was that was making him lose his anger at this semi naked beautiful boy in front of him.He walked towards him.

 

'Sit down,' he told him in a gentler voice. 'And put on your shirt.' He had never told anyone to put on their clothes on unless he was kicking them out.

 

Too many firsts with this lad!

 

Harry sat down on the couch and slowly put on his shirt, leaving it open. Louis poured two flutes of champagne and handed one to Harry. Harry looked up at him hesitating.

 

'Drink,' Louis told him calmly, pressing the crystal flute into Harry's hand. Harry took the glass and bit his lower lip. Louis rolled his eyes. 'Don't bite your fucking lip. Drink.' Harry held the glass but did not drink. Louis sat down beside him and looked at him.

 

'I...we-we're not supposed t-to drink on the job,' Harry told him softly. Louis chuckled.

 

God he's so fucking innocent. Where the fuck did he come from?

 

'But it's alright to pretend you're a man whore when you're a virgin?' Harry blushed deeply and Louis felt something warm spread in his guts.

 

'I'm sorry,' Harry said quietly. Louis rested his back against the back of the couch and crossed one leg over the other and eyed Harry.

 

'Tell me why I shouldn't just tell Adam since you wasted my time and deprived me of a good fuck?' Louis asked him. He watched as Harry's blush deepened. Louis reckoned he wasn't used to this language.

 

How much can one person blush? He's fucking fifty shades of pink and red!

 

'He will fire me and I need this job,' Harry replied honestly. Louis smirked at him.

 

'You could've done anything...waiter, bartender, dishwasher yet you choose a profession you are clearly not qualified for,' Louis pointed out to him. Harry pressed his plump lips together and Louis wanted to so much take his bottom lip between his own and suck on it.

 

'This job pays a lot more and I need the money,' Harry admitted, pulling Louis out of his thoughts.

 

'How much do you earn here Harry?' Louis asked him curiously, wondering how much money one could possibly make, a decent virgin like him working in a place full of hungry beasts who just wanted to fuck him senseless.

 

'Around £1500 to £1800 a month, depending on tips. It's enough to cover my rent, food and uni.' Louis raised an eyebrow at him.

 

Fuck this suit I'm wearing costs five times what he makes in a month!

 

'How old are you and what do you want to become after you graduate?' Harry smiled broadly, the first time he actually smiled since walking into this room and Louis was nearly knocked unconscious when he saw that smile and dimples popping in his cheeks! He felt himself go weak and it freaked him out. He felt a sweat break out all over his body and was finding it hard to breathe.

 

Now he's a complete angel. Fucking dimples!

 

'I will soon be 20. I am majoring in English Language and English Literature. I want to become a writer and a photographer,' Harry told him still smiling.

 

'What kind of photographer?' Louis found himself asking wondering why the fuck he was getting interested in the boy's life. He was only here to fuck him not immerse himself in his pathetic life!

 

'Any kind really. Models. Nature. Sports. Landscapes. As long as its photography. I like to capture moments and freeze them in time. Those moments will never come again.'

 

Deep. And intelligent.

 

'So again I ask you, why this job? You could've done anything really. You seem very intelligent and highly educated yet here you are stripping for men who just want to fuck you and tip you for it. You are a whore.' Louis told him matter of factly. He watched the smile slip off Harry's face and he internally cursed himself for wiping that beautiful smile off his face.

 

'I don't sell myself for sex,' Harry said quietly. Louis chuckled.

 

'You don't? Why do you think you were sent in here for then? You should consider yourself lucky you found me who's not interested in taking away your virginity. If it was someone else you would be on your hands and knees by now with a dick pounding up your tight ass.'

 

God how I want that to be me right now!

 

He watched Harry blush like crazy. Why did he feel bad saying this to him? That's what Harry was here for, to do his bidding and be fucked so why did it feel bad? Harry swallowed.

 

'I need this job,' he said softly. 'It pays a lot compared to other jobs I tried out for. I pay my rent and uni and food and I have to sustain my photography myself. We don't have a decent lab at the uni so I develop most of my pictures and it costs. I need to set up my portfolio if I'm to get any kind of decent photography job. This...'Harry paused and Louis could tell that he was ashamed. 'This job is just temporary until I can maybe get an internship at a publishing house or a part time job somewhere where I can do photography.'

 

Louis could see that Harry was a happy boy who was happy with his life and doing a shit job he didn't like and wasn't qualified for just to earn enough money to get him through university so that he could get his dream jobs once he graduated.

 

'What about your family? Can't they help you? Where do you come from?'

 

Why are you asking him all these questions? Where are you going with this?

 

Harry took in a deep breath and looked into his glass with the sparkling champagne in it. He hadn't even taken a sip and Louis noticed this. He could tell that Harry followed rules and protocol.

 

'Drink,' Louis told him. 'And I'm not asking.' At his stern voice, Harry took a sip. Louis watched him intently. 'So?' Louis asked him still waiting for Harry to answer his questions.

 

'I come from Holmes Chapel,' Harry said in his slow deep voice that made Louis tingle all over. 'I am an only child. I went to college in Manchester and worked part time at Starbucks to save money for my trip here.' He stopped and looked down at his glass. Louis furrowed his brow trying to make the story add up in his mind. He was 19 and already has been making life on his own. Didn't he have any parents to look after him and provide for him financially?He just had to ask the next question.

 

'Didn't your parents help you with college and university?' He watched as Harry's face visibly clouded over and his lower lip trembled lightly.

 

'No they didn't. My mum got sick with cancer when I was 16. It was about that time that I came out to them that I...I was gay. My mum was okay with it but my dad....' He paused and took in a deep shuddering breath that made his shoulders shake a little. Louis' insides twisted. He felt dread in the pit of his stomach at the word dad. Harry cleared his throat. 'My dad didn't take it too well. He wanted to kick my out but my mum stopped him. At the time she was under going treatment for her cancer but it was too advanced. They told us that she didn't have much time, maybe 6 months tops. My dad, he hated me.He couldn't stand to look at me but he let me stay in the house because he had no other choice. He cut me off financially though even though he's loaded. Sometimes my mum helped me by giving me money behind his back. I couldn't work long hours as I had to take care of her and go with her for her chemo. Their relationship kinda fell apart because of me. My mum loved me regardless and my dad, well he didn't like that. He expected her to disown me too, take his side but my mum stood by me even while she was dying. So I went to school and worked and looked after my mum till she passed away 8 months ago.After the funeral dad kicked me out and said he never wanted to lay eyes on me again. So I moved to Manchester and bunked with my friends Niall and Zayn. They are both a year older than me so they let me crash there. They moved to Uni here before me but they were kind enough to pair the rent so I could stay there till I moved here. Now I share a flat with Niall and Zayn lives with his boyfriend Liam. It was Zayn who got me the job here. He works here too.'

 

Louis sat stock still as he listened to the tragedy that was the life of Harry yet despite all the hard ships he had been through, he was still a decent happy boy. Something was happening inside of Louis and he didn't like it. It made him feel something towards this boy,something he didn't quite understand. He got up suddenly off the couch and commenced to fix himself and put on his expensive suit jacket. He took out his wallet and handed Harry a tip. Harry looked at the money and then back up at Louis. He stood up to face Louis.

 

'This is too much,' Harry protested looking at the five 20 pound notes in his hand. 'I didn't do anything to deserve this Mr. Tomlinson. I...I didn't do anything for you. I cannot take this.'

 

He's so fucking decent and honest.

 

Louis looked at Harry for a few minutes, studying him. 'Trust me you earned that tip. My advice to you? Quit this job. You are not cut out for this.' Harry gave him a weak smile.

 

'I wish I could but unfortunately for the time being this is what I must do.' Louis gave him a curt nod and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He stood for a moment with his back to it and took in a few deep breaths.

 

What the fuck was that? This has never happened to me before.

 

When he felt some what a little calmer, he walked down to the main area of the club and found Adam at the bar flirting with a client. He tapped him on the shoulder. Adam turned towards him with a big smile on his face.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson how did you find the new baby boy? I trust he satisfied your needs? Do I need to call 911 for him?' Louis felt his anger rise.

 

'Listen here you asshole,' he growled at him and Adam's face soon turned serious. 'Make sure that you keep Harry on the no touching floor. Do you hear? Do not send him to VIP ever again. Understood?'

 

'Y-yes Sir understood,' Adam stammered. He watched as Louis left the club. Once he got outside, we was glad for the fresh cold air that hit him.He needed to clear his foggy head. He needed to get Harry out of his system. He took out his cigarettes and lit one as he dialed Angus to come and get him and as he waited, all he could think about was the green eyed angel he had left behind.

 

A/N I DO HOPE YOU LIKE THAT. DO YOU WANT CHAPTER 2?


	2. You Crawled Under My Skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys a big thank you to those of you who read my first chapter and left me comments. I hope you will enjoy the second chapter of A Darker Shade of Love. Would appreciate comments. All the love M.

You Crawled Under My Skin.

 

The moment Louis got home, his staff knew better than to get in his way. As soon as he stepped into his large home in Kensington, he began barking orders and slamming things. It was only 10:30 pm and he was sexually frustrated and full of pent up energy and aggression. And what made him angrier was the thought of Harry and the fact that he shouldn't even be thinking about Harry in the first place yet here he was, stomping up his large staircase to the second level of his 30 million pound mansion like a sulking teenager and that infuriated him further.

 

He stepped into his bedroom and flopped down on his king size bed. He huffed at himself. He didn't know why he even bothered to tell Adam to keep Harry away from VIP. Why had he done that?

 

Because you like him and don't want him to be touched by anyone, his subconscious threw at him and Louis knew that if his subconscious was a person right now, he would slap it across the mouth. But even if he could, he wouldn't because even though he would never admit it, it was true. He got up off the bed and stormed into his ensuite bathroom undressing as he went letting his clothes fall helter skelter on the way. The maids will clean up after him tomorrow. He placed his phone on the marble top of his vanity, rested his hands on it and let his head hang low between his shoulders. He closed his eyes and immediately Harry popped up behind his eyelids. Louis ground his teeth together, his nails clawing at the cold marble as he tried to dispel the image of the boy from his mind.

 

He grabbed his phone and went to contacts. He scrolled and stopped at a particular name then hit the call button. After two rings, his call was picked up.

 

'Its me. Come to the house. Now! Go straight down to the basement and don't be fucking late. I mean it.' He hung up and got into the shower, turning the water to hot. He let it run all over him as he tried to relax but it was doing nothing to soothe him. He knew what he needed to hopefully get him out of this funk. He washed himself quickly then when he was done, he turned off the shower and towelled himself dry. He walked to his bedroom and put on a pair of boxer briefs and a pair of black tailored pants not bothering with shoes or socks. He ran his hands through his hair a couple of times and then headed downstairs to the basement. He met none of his staff on the way and for that he was thankful. He didn't want to have to fire any of them just because he was pissed off and sulking like a school boy.

 

His basement was his sex room. It was a soundproofed room with walls padded in studded black leather. The floor was carpeted in thick black fitted carpets and those who entered this room had to enter barefooted. The room only held a four poster bed in the middle of the room. The two head posters at the bed had leather handcuffs hanging from them. There was no other furniture in the room save fora rack that held about 50 types of different belts. Louis was not into BDSM. Louis was a plain sadist who got off on pain. It drove him wild to know he was inflicting pain. He didn't use toys or different things like whips, gags and blindfolds. He just used belts. And he never aimed to please any of his men. He never gave them a safe word.They did not come here expecting pleasure from him. They knew what they came here for.

 

Ashe entered the room, he found Claude already there, barefoot and in his briefs standing at the foot of the bed. Claude kept his eyes to the floor. Louis needed them to be totally submissive and give him full control to exercise his kink. Obviously he paid them well and they took it. Yes he hurt them but he didn't care and they never complained. They always came back so it worked well for Louis.

 

'Undress,' Louis ordered and immediately Claude removed his underwear.

 

'Position,' Louis ordered again. Claude turned to face the bed, bent himself at the waist and stretched his arms above his head, lying his torso on the bed and spread his legs. As soon as he was in position, Louis fastened the hand cuffs round his wrists, stretching his arms further. Then he strapped leather handcuffs around his ankles which where hanging from the lower posts of the bed. Louis didn't ask Claude if he was okay. Louis calmly walked over to the rack and fingered the belts, trying to decide on which one to use. Dark memories were creeping up in Louis' mind making him shiver internally. That fear that clawed inside of him which he only dispelled by delivering pain. Pain drove the fear and darkness away.Louis' hand trembled as he reached out and chose a belt, a thick black leather belt 3 inches wide.

 

He walked over to the bed and stood behind the bent over form of Claude, his ass and back thighs available to Louis. Right then Louis didn't need to imagine that the form before him was Harry. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. He repeated it a few times to calm himself but the echo of long ago memories stirred in him a fear that still haunted him.

 

'Not a sound,' he told Claude in his strict commanding voice. Claude nodded once. Louis took a step back, raised the belt and rammed it home on Claude's ass. Claude jumped and pressed his lips together to hold any moans or whimpers escaping his mouth. Louis repeatedly brought the belt down on Claude's ass and back of the thighs. Louis was lost somewhere deep inside where the only thing that mattered and gave him satisfaction was the sound of the leather strap hitting the skin over and over and over again. Claude bit down on his lip with each smack, the pain of the biting leather on his skin bringing tears to his eyes.

 

Louis dropped the leather belt to the carpeted floor, panting hard. He looked at Claude's ass and thighs that had bright red welts on his skin. Louis needed to relieve himself now. He pulled out a condom from his pants pocked, unzipped his trousers and pulled himself out.He rolled the condom on his hard dick and without any lube or prep, he rammed himself deep inside Claude. He heard the boy beneath him gasp at the surprise and pain of the sudden intrusion but that was all the sound that he made. Louis placed his hand flat on his lower back and began rolling his hips, fucking deep and hard into Claude.He closed his eyes tightly shut and tried to block out the images of Harry sprawled out beneath him like this but as much as he tried to not think about Harry, it was to images of Harry's smiling face that he came deep inside of Claude. Once he emptied himself, Louis didn't linger. He pulled himself out of him, took off the condom throwing it into a bin by the bed and after zipping himself up again, he walked out of the room. Jarvis will see to Claude. He always did.Jarvis always took care of them physically and financially.

 

Louis went up to his bedroom again feeling oddly relaxed and empty, still Harry remained on his mind. He once again went into his bathroom and had another hot shower. This time he took his time, his body relaxing under the hot spray of water. When he was done with his shower, he slipped under the covers naked, loving the feel of his satin sheets on his body. He lay in the middle of his comfortable bed, all fears kept now at bay and as he drifted off into peaceful sleep, he couldn't help but smile to himself at the thought of Harry.

 

X

 

The next morning, Louis woke up to bright sunlight filling his room.Louis was not a morning person. He had forgotten to close the curtains the night before and now sunlight filtered in through his window making the room bright. He groaned and turned over away from the window, pulling the duvet up over his head to create darkness.Just as he settled in to get a bit more sleep, his alarm beeped softly. Another groan as his hand reached out from beneath the duvet and grabbed his phone, turning off the alarm. He blinked and looked at the time. 8:15 am.

 

He huffed, threw back the covers and sat up swinging his feet down off the bed. He was half tempted to take the day off but Louis Tomlinson never took a day off so he got up off to bed to start his morning routine. He slipped on a pair of sweatpants and headed down to his private gym. Louis liked routine. If he kept to his routines it made him feel in control. His life was a plan and he stuck to it. He employed people to make sure that all his routines ran smoothly. He padded down to the gym and started on his work out. He loved to workout and exert his body. His body was his temple and he loved to keep it fit and strong.

 

After his work out, he padded into the kitchen where he found Mrs. Davis, his cook slash housekeeper.

 

'Good morning Judy,' Louis told her as he slipped on a bar stool at the breakfast bar. Mrs. Davis turned to him and gave him a warm smile.

 

'Good morning Mr. Tomlinson,' she told him kindly. 'I trust you slept well?' Louis nodded as he reached for the morning's newspapers that were stacked neatly on the counter top. Mrs. Davis had been with Louis for a very long time and had learned earlier on that he was not a morning person and that he shouldn't be engaged in conversation until he had read the papers and had his breakfast. She had learned all his routines and stuck to them. She was a good cook and housekeeper, recently widowed. Her husband, Mr. Davis, Thomas to Louis, had been the gardener. Mrs. Davis was in her late 50's, her white hair always neat and in place. She had kind grey eyes and always had a smile for everyone. Louis adored her even though he acted like he didn't and Mrs. Davis knew this and loved him as if he was her own son. She watched him as he went through the business sections of the newspapers like he always did as she slipped him a cup of hot black coffee in front of him.

 

As Louis continued to read, Mrs. Davis prepared his breakfast : 2 blueberry pancakes, no syrup, a bowl of fruit, a glass of fresh orange juice and a tea. She worked in silence, letting him read his papers and when she was done, she carried the food to him. He smiled at her and folded the newspaper.

 

'Thank you Judy. It smells lovely as always,' he told her as he dug into his food.

 

'You are welcome Mr. Tomlinson,' she replied with her motherly smile. 'Do I prepare dinner for you for tonight or will you be dining out?' Louis swallowed his food.

 

'I should be dining home tonight. I don't recall having any dinner engagements. However if any thing pops up I will let you know okay.' Mrs. Davis nodded at him.

 

'Anything in particular you would like for dinner?' she asked him but Louis shook his head.

 

'I will leave it up to your capable hands. You never disappoint me.' Mrs. Davis smiled happily. When Louis was done with breakfast, he went back up into his room, undressed and got into the shower. And once in the shower, his mind went back to what he had been trying to avoid thinking about : Harry. His stomach did that thing it had done yesterday, a sort of fluttering and the feeling as if he was free falling where your stomach would just drop to your toes and then go back up. This was stupid and silly.

 

Sure it is, his subconscious threw at him and Louis rolled his eyes. How was his subconscious even awake at 9 am?

 

Louis finished his shower and walked into his closet, choosing a royal blue Dolce and Gabbana suit, with a white shirt and a dark blue tie. He dressed slowly finishing his outfit with a pair of platinum cuff links each holding a diamond stud. He took time in drying his hair and quiffing it into perfection. When he was done, he looked at himself in the mirror and was pleased with what he saw. He pocketed his phone and headed downstairs where he found Angus waiting in the hallway.

 

'Good morning Sir,' Angus told him. 'The car is ready out front.'

 

'Good morning Angus,' Louis told him as he looked at his watch. 9:45 am.Perfectly on time as usual. He should be at his office by 10 am sharp. Louis walked out the front door to greet the day and he was glad to see that the sun was still out considering this was London,though he doubted how much that would last. Still, as he stood on the front steps of his home, he couldn't help but desire to want to take the day off, pick Harry up and go to Hyde Park, walk barefoot on the grass and just spend a lazy day enjoying the sun. Louis dismissed the idea as instantly as it entered his mind. Foolish foolish idea.

 

Or is it?

 

Ashe slipped into the back seat of his Bentley, he realized that he didn't know much about Harry. He didn't even know his last name or where he lived.

 

Obsessing much?

 

Louis groaned internally wanting desperately to slap his subconscious in the mouth more than ever. He made a mental note to call Morrison, his PI as soon as he got to his office. The drive to work went smoothly. Louis knew that office hours started at 9 am but he chose to start at 10 am, giving him ample time to avoid rush hour traffic. He hated being stuck in traffic and whenever he did, that put him in a sour mood. Angus stopped the car in front of TGE and got out to open his boss' door. Louis thanked him and headed inside, checking his time.10 am sharp. That made him feel good. He still had control over his life. Harry had not done any damage.

 

Or so you think!

 

He would've shouted out a fuck you to his subconscious but he was in the middle of his building's foyer which was bustling with people and he would've looked like a right lunatic if he was shouting out curse words at himself. He went to the elevator and got in, pressing the button to his floor. Beethoven's 'Romanza' played in the elevator as it climbed to the 28th floor. The music was soothing and it calmed Louis, preparing him mentally for the day ahead. The elevator dinged open on his floor and no sooner he stepped outside Lynn greeted him.

 

'Good morning Mr. Tomlinson,' she told him as she walked with him towards his office.

 

'Good morning Lynn. How was your night?' he asked her.

 

'It was fine Sir. I trust yours was good?' Louis smiled.

 

'I can say it was interesting,' he told her as he pushed open the door to his office and stepped behind his large glass desk and sat in his executive leather chair. His office had floor to ceiling windows which offered him an amazing view over Canary Wharf. Sometimes he just loved to look outside at the people going by their day, at the tourists milling about or at the queues piling up near the O2 Arena waiting for some concert or show. Sometimes he wished he could do things like they did but then again Louis knew he was nothing like them. He had never been to a concert. He had never traveled for leisure, only for business. His life was made up of work and control.His only escape was his basement. Lynn's voice brought him back from his wanderings.

 

'I have your chai latte here with extra cinnamon just as you like it,' she was telling him. Louis smiled at her.

 

'Thank you Lynn. So what's on the agenda today?' Lynn sat down opposite him,crossed her legs and tapped away at her tablet. She began narrating to him all the appointments of the day but Louis zoned out again and his mind drifted slowly to Harry. His mind was being an idiot, making up scenarios all involving Harry. Louis wondered what he was doing now. Probably already in class at some lecture. Was he with his friends? What were his hobbies? What did he do in his free time when he wasn't working at Garland's? The thought of Harry at Garland's made Louis' stomach feel like it was clenching on empty. Why did the thought unnerve him so much? Harry was nothing to him. So why did Louis feel unsettled and couldn't get him off his mind?

 

You're crushing!

 

Louis scoffed internally at the idea. Crushing! He wasn't some teenage boy pining after this kid. He was Louis Tomlinson, adult, CEO of his own company. He never crushed. He didn't even know what crushing was or what it felt like.

 

It feels just like how you are feeling, his subconscious threw at him.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson did you hear what I said?' Lynn was asking him and Louis had to literally drag himself out of his day dreaming and focus on his secretary who was sitting in front of him giving him a weird look.

 

'I'm sorry Lynn. I must have zoned out. I have a lot on my mind and I can feel a headache coming on,' he lied.

 

'I will get you something for your headache but just reminding you that you have a Skpye call with Marshall in the L.A branch in 20 minutes.The executive from Apple is coming in at 1:30 pm and the executive from Microsoft is coming in at 2:30 pm so I will order lunch in for you. What would you like today?'

 

'I think I'll have Sushi,' Louis told her as Lynn typed that down in her tablet.

 

'Right,' she told him as she got up. 'Anything else I can do for you Mr. Tomlinson?'

 

'Ah yes Lynn can you please be a dear and get me Morrison on the line?'

 

'Sure thing,' she told him with a smile as she left the office, leaving Louis in peace and quiet. Louis booted up his computer, getting ready for his Skype call with Marshall his head of office in the L.A branch. Marshall was on time and for that Louis was thankful. He always installed it in his employees that punctuality was key and that an agreed time should be stuck to. Besides, tardiness pissed him off and today he was already in a pissy mood so he didn't need anything to make it any worse.

 

Just as he was finishing up his Skype call with Marshall, Lynn popped her head into his office.

 

'Morrison is on line 2,' she told him and left again. Louis picked up the phone and pressed the number 2 button.

 

'Hey Morrison,' he said into the phone. 'I need you to do a job for me. I have this client working at Garland's. His name is Harry. No I don't have his last name. I need a back ground check on him and his family plus I need to know which University he attends, where he lives and his friends. I would appreciate your discretion about this like always. Yes some photographs would be good. I need to know who he hangs out with. I like to know my employees. Thank you Morrison and hope to hear from you A SAP.' Louis hung up. What the hell was he even doing?

 

Checking his friends? His hangouts? His home? His past? Maybe even wanting to know if he has a boyfriend too! His subconscious sneered at him.

 

Louis decided to ignore his obnoxious subconscious and carry on with his day, even though he was finding it hard to concentrate on anything for more that two minutes straight without his mind wandering off to Harry.

 

At 12:45 pm, Lynn came in with his lunch, placing his Sushi on the desk in front of him. Louis nibbled at his food because he found that he hardly had any appetite. His stomach was doing the funny and he could hardly eat. He checked his phone repeatedly for any messages from Morrison but there was nothing. He was getting impatient and nervous. What was taking him so long? He had called him over two hours ago so what was the hold up? Louis wanted to text him but he didn't want to seem too eager. He pushed his lunch away and buzzed Lynn to get him a double espresso.

 

By 1:30 pm sharp, Louis was in his boardroom, sitting at the head of the conference table with the Apple executive, his lawyer and his assistant ready to discuss business. Louis had his own lawyer present and Lynn who was there to take notes and remind him of anything he might miss. This meeting had a deadline as in an hour he had to meet with the people from Microsoft but the Apple people were dragging this out and it was grating on Louis' nerves. He couldn't even check his damn phone to see if there was word from Morrison. By the end of the hour, they hadn't managed to close a deal.

 

Louis took a short break and told Lynn to inform the people of Microsoft that he would be with them in a minute. He rushed to his office, in need of a mental break. He poured himself a Highland Park 50 year old single malt and swallowed it in one gulp. The feeling of the hot whiskey going down his throat revived him. It settled in the pit of his stomach hoping that the damn butterflies in there would get drunk off the liquor and stop fluttering. He checked his phone but there was nothing from Morrison yet. Damn it! Louis headed back to the boardroom and found everyone already seated there. He sat down at the head of the table and the discussions started up again.

 

Louis gazed out of the floor to ceiling window and noticed that it was no longer sunny outside. Dark grey clouds where gathering, hanging low on the horizon promising rain. Typical, he thought to himself. He heard the Microsoft executive talk and talk but he really couldn't be buggered to hear what he was saying. They both wanted his product and he was only interested in closing the best deal that profited his company. He didn't give a shit if it was Apple or Microsoft that took his software. He was getting tired of this bickering back and forth and meetings upon meetings. He should just let them fight it out and the winner will close the deal with TGE. Thankfully, the meeting came to a close, without yet another done deal. Louis huffed and walked back into his office followed by Lynn.

 

'Shall I re-schedule meetings with them Sir?' Lynn asked him. Louis ran a hand through his hair. His shoulders and neck hurt and his head throbbed. He felt on edge. He looked at Lynn.

 

'Schedule with Apple. I like their deal better. If Microsoft don't upgrade their shit deal we will close it with Apple. I'm tried of going back and forth. Marshall just informed me that the new gaming system the techs over there are creating should be finalized by the end of next month so I want to close this deal before we introduce our next product. Schedule them in for Thursday at noon.'

 

'Yes Sir,' Lynn told him as she typed everything in her tablet. 'Will there be anything else Sir?'

 

'Can you please be a dear and get me a tea and some paracetamol. Also see if you can book me a massage session with Andre for tonight.'

 

'Sure thing Sir,' Lynn told him as she got up and walked out of the office. Louis sat down heavily in his chair and checked his phone. Nothing from Morrison. He was debating whether to go to Garland's tonight.

 

Twice in a row? his subconscious threw at him. That is so not your style.

 

Louis had to admit that that was true. He visited Garland's maybe twice a month, not twice in a week. He usually took his pleasures at home down in his basement but the urge to go to Garland's was nagging at him.

 

Admit it. You want to see that angel again. Louis slammed his hand down forcefully down on the desk.

 

'Fuck,' he growled out loudly. 'Fuck this shit!' Just then his desk phone buzzed and Lynn's voice came through.

 

'Sir I have Marc Jacobs on Skype. He wants a word. Shall I put him through?' Louis sighed heavily. He could do with a distraction.

 

'Yeah Lynn put him though,' Louis told her as he connected to Skype. Soon his ex and still best friend smiled at him from the camera on his computer.

 

'Louis!!!' Marc greeted him.

 

'Hey Marc what's up?' Louis asked him.

 

'How are you peaches? You look flustered. Are you getting enough sleep and exercise?' Louis smiled at him.

 

'I am. I'm just stressed out with this deal I have been trying to close with no success right up to an hour ago.' Marc pouted.

 

'Who are these assholes making my baby all stressed out?' Louis chuckled.

 

'I'm not your baby now what do you want? And why are you even up at 8 am?'

 

'Well sweetie that is why I called. I am up because I haven't slept yet since yesterday as I am working on my new collection which I will be show casing in London in 3 weeks and I was wondering if I could exhibit my collection and models in a small pre-show private party for the elite only at your beautiful house?'

 

'How many elite people are we talking about?' Louis asked him playfully. He knew Marc well enough to know that his reference to small was not small at all. Marc smiled sheepishly at him.

 

'Not too many my darling but you won't have to lift a finger to do anything. I will take care of everything. All you have to do is allow me the use of your home and be present to charm the pants off my clients.' Marc batted his eyelashes at Louis in supplication. Louis laughed.

 

'Okay sure. Just send me the details of when its to take place yeah.'

 

'Sure thing my darling. I owe you one. Thank you so much Louis. Love you sweetie,' Marc told him as he blew him kisses.

 

'Yeah yeah whatever,' Louis told him playfully. He disconnected. As he did, his desk phone buzzed again. Fucking hell was there no end in sight to this day? He looked at his watch. 5 pm.

 

'Yes Lynn,' he said.

 

'Sir I have Morrison Gates here to see you. Shall I send him in?' Louis sat up straight in his chair as if he had been struck by lightening.

 

'Yes Lynn send him in right away.' Louis got up and walked to the front of his desk just as Morrison opened the door and entered his office.Louis extended his hand which Morrison took and shook, his grip firm. Morrison was ex-military in his early fifties. He had left the army with honors and after he had retired he had become a private investigator.

 

'Morrison thank you for coming,' Louis told him, indicating for him to take a seat on his leather couch. Louis sat opposite him. 'Can I get you anything?' Louis asked him.

 

'A Scotch will do,' Morrison replied as he settled back in the soft leather couch. Louis got up and poured himself and Morrison two whiskeys from an assortment he had on a trolley by the door. Louis sat back down and handed a glass to Morrison as he took a sip of his own.

 

'So I ran a back ground check on the employee you asked me,' Morrison told him and Louis felt his interest spike. 'His full name is Harry Edward Styles. He was born in Bromsgrove, Worchestershire to Des and Anne Styles nee Cox. They moved to Holmes Chapel when Harry who is an only child was 7 years old. He attended Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School and later to The Manchester College. He worked at Starbucks for a few months. Mother passed away 8 months ago from cancer. His father owns various car dealerships businesses in Holmes Chapel,Manchester, Rochdale, Liverpool and one in Newcastle.' Louis ground his teeth together causing his jaw to ache. So this mother fucker was rich and he didn't want to help his son simply because he was gay and Harry had to resort to degrading himself to earn money to get himself through University and graduate to follow his dreams. Louis felt the anger bubble deep inside of him. Morrison took in a deep breath and continued.

 

'Harry attends The University of London.' Louis was impressed. It was an expensive University no wonder Harry needed that job. Louis was glad that even though Harry was degrading himself to work at his club, he was putting his education first and that was admirable on his part.

 

'Goon,' Louis urged him. Morrison opened an envelope and pulled out a stack of 5x5 black and white prints and began spreading them on the table in front of Louis.

 

'This is Harry this morning,' Morrison told him pointing to a smiling Harry walking on campus, with his hair up in a bun, sunglasses on his nose,a back pack slung on his shoulder, wearing black skinny jeans, a white tee shirt and a pair of boots. Louis' heart stuttered in his chest taking him completely by surprise, Harry's beautiful face and smile slamming into him yet again just as they had done yesterday.Morrison pointed to another guy walking and laughing beside Harry.

 

'This is Niall Horan, 21 from Mullinghar Ireland. He is Harry's best friend and flat mate. They share a flat in Edgware Road corner with Praed Street.' Louis looked at Niall and felt something close to annoyance that the blonde boy was laughing with Harry and that Harry looked completely relaxed with him. Morrison showed him a few more shots of Harry with Niall coming out of Starbucks and milling on campus. He then pushed another picture of Harry this time with a different guy. Morrison tapped his finger on the person.

 

'Nicholas Grimshaw, 21 majoring in Economics and Politics. Also runs the Universitie's magazine and studying to become a photographer like Harry. He is more advanced in photography than Harry is, having had some of his pictures published in magazines and newspapers. He works part time as a DJ on BBC Radio 1. He lives in a converted warehouse flat in Chelsea. He and Harry are tight. Don't know if he's more than a friend. I can dig deeper if you want me to.' Louis glared at Nicholas. He hated him on sight. This guy came from rich parents and he was tight with Harry. How tight? Morrison spread out the last few photos which showed Harry sitting at a lunch table outside under a tree. Niall sat on his left and Nicholas was cuddled into his right side, far too close for Louis' comfort. In front of them sat two other blokes with their arms around each other. Morrison tapped his finger on them.

 

'Liam Payne and Zayn Malik both 21. They are in a relationship. Have been together for the last 2 years. They share a flat in Aldgate. Zayn works at Garland's and it was him who got Harry the job. Liam works at Costa Cafe/Waterstone's book store in Trafalgar Square. They are both majoring in Law.' Louis looked at all the photos spread out before him. This was Harry's life. All Harry's friends. And for the first time in his life, Louis felt jealous. It was an alien feeling to him. He never felt jealous of anything or anyone. He had it all. Had everything. All he needed or wanted he could easily get. But he didn't have Harry.

 

'Will that be all Sir?' Morrison asked him pulling him out of his thoughts. Louis focused on Morrison, took the last swallow of his whiskey and pursed his lips.

 

'I just need one more favor,' Louis told him.

 

'Name it,' Morrison told him.

 

'I need you to run Mr. Des Styles out of business. I don't care how its done and I don't care how much it costs, I just want the man ruined. Be discreet in what you do and in who you engage. Make sure nothing comes back to me. Is that clear?' Morrison gave him a smile.

 

'Leave it to me Sir. It will be done.' They both got up, shook hands and Morrison left the office. Louis sat back down again and picked up the picture of Harry where he was smiling wide with Niall.

 

'What the fuck have you done to me?' Louis asked the picture as he traced the contours of his face with his index finger. Louis was torn. He wanted to go to Garland's to see him again though he didn't quite know what good would that do to him. He didn't know how to behave around the boy. This was unfamiliar territory to him. He knew that if he went to Garland's again, it would raise suspicions. Besides, it was not part of his routine. His days at Garland's were usually the first Monday of each month and the last Thursday of each month and he wanted to keep it that way. He wasn't going to let this...this boy mess up his carefully constructed life. No, Louis decided, this folly had to stop. He grabbed all the pictures and stuffed them back in the envelope and threw them in the bottom drawer of his desk. He poured himself another whiskey and knocked it back in one gulp. However, he had one more thing to do. He buzzed Lynn and asked her to come into his office which she did right away.

 

'You need anything Sir?' she asked him. Louis smiled at her.

 

'When was the last time we made someone happy Lynn?' he asked her.

 

'You mean as in philanthropy Sir?'

 

'Yes,' Louis told her.

 

'Let me check Sir,' Lynn told him as she scrolled through her tablet. She found the folder she was looking for and double tapped it. A spreadsheet opened up.

 

'Well,' she told him, 'there was the donation to the Eden Dora fund trust at the beginning of the month. You funded the new children's wing at the Great Ormond Hospital two weeks ago and just last week you sent medical and food assistance in Syria. Do you have anything in mind Sir?' Lynn asked him.

 

'Yes Lynn in fact I do,' Louis told her. 'I want you to contact the dean of The University of London and tell him that TGE will be funding their new Photography Lab. Inform the dean that as of next week I will send in technicians and workers to renovate the lab and equip it with the latest technology in digital photography and photographic development. Please notify the dean that I expect this project to be completed within 2 weeks of its commencement and that when it is finalized I will visit the premises myself to make sure that everything is satisfactory to the University.' Lynn typed everything into her tablet then looked at Louis.

 

'Will that be all Sir?' she asked him.

 

'Yes Lynn thank you,' Louis told her as he looked at his watch. 6:45 pm. 'Oh and Lynn, I think I will be heading out home a little early today. I feel knackered.'

 

'Sure thing Sir,' Lynn told him as she walked out of the office. Louis sat down in his chair and felt pleased with himself. That will be the end of Harry and he felt good that he had actually done something that the boy will benefit from. Louis felt a little more at ease, now that he was beginning to get Harry out of his system. He called Angus to come and pick him up. He wanted to go home, open a bottle of red wine, put on some Chopin, have a long hot bath, then have dinner,maybe watch a movie and have an early night. Alone. Like he has always done. So why did today didn't feel as satisfactory as it usually does?

 

X

 

It was three days later that Louis found himself being driven to Garland's after work. His resolve had broken and he had smashed his routine to hell but he just had to go. For the past three days he had been anxious and on edge and his mind kept on going to HarryHarryHarry fucking Harry! He had been distracted and he figured that since today he had finally closed the deal with Apple, he had an excuse to celebrate and what other way to celebrate was there than to go to Garland's?

 

Louis sat in the back seat as Angus drove him across the city towards Soho.He was excited and nervous and his insides where doing a lot of funny things to him. When Angus stopped the car and informed him that they had arrived, Louis nearly jumped out of his skin. He thanked Angus and got out. When he got to the door, the security didn't hide the fact that they were surprised to see him. They had also gotten into his routine visits and this was not one of them. Louis said hello to them and walked inside.

 

Louis walked over to the bar where Adam was and tapped him on the shoulder. Adam turned and the look on his face was priceless, so much so that it made Louis laugh.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson!' Adam exclaimed. 'What are you doing here? Today is not your usual day.'

 

'Thank you for pointing out the obvious Adam. I happened to close a very important deal today and I came to celebrate,' Louis told him as he motioned the bartender over. 'I'll have a Glennfiddich double on the rocks please.' The bar tender nodded and went to get him his drink. Adam swallowed. Louis made him nervous.

 

'Uhm Ryan is off today,' Adam told him, treading waters carefully. 'If I knew you were coming I would've booked him for you.' Louis shrugged.

 

'It's quite fine Adam relax,' he told him as he took a sip of his drink and scanned the floor. It was a busy night. A strip show was set to start at midnight. All the tables on the floor where almost full, with men flirting with the boys and getting lap dances. Suddenly Louis' eyes zeroed in on Harry. He was giving a guy a lap dance, dressed only in a pair of tiny silver boxers. Louis' heart leaped to his throat, his stomach tumbled to his toes, his brain lost all sense of logical reason and the butterflies inside him went bat shit crazy. He watched transfixed as Harry stood over the man, straddling him but not sitting on him, both his hands resting on the man's shoulders as he moved seductively over him to 'Partition' by Beyonce. Louis' mouth fell open as he watch Harry circling his hips over the man, his bare chest glistening under the dim lights. His hair was down and Louis felt as if his breath had left him when he watched Harry flick his hair off his shoulders. The man sitting in the chair was salivating as he looked up at Harry and ran one of his hands up the inside of Harry's thigh. Louis watched as Harry jumped back and little and removed the man's hand. The man grinned at him and licked his lips. Louis' blood boiled. That asshole was looking at Harry as if he was apiece of meat.

 

He's doing his job, his subconscious reminded him.

 

Louis watched on as Harry continued to grind his hips seductively over the man. Louis watched as Harry sat down on the man's lap straddling him and Louis watched as Harry ground down his hips on the man and Louis was sure that the old geezer had a boner for Harry and was pushing it up against Harry's ass. Louis curled his fingers into tight fists as he watched the show but when he saw the man grab Harry's ass with both his large hands and pull him over his dick while Harry struggled to get off of him, Louis lost his shit. He walked over to the man and manhandled Harry off of him. He turned to the stunned man.

 

'Don't you fucking know that this is a no touch zone? You don't fucking touch the dancers asshole,' Louis yelled in his face. The man looked taken aback. Harry looked at Louis in shocked surprise. By this time Adam was next to Louis.

 

'What the hell is going on here?' Adam demanded. Louis turned to face him, his face red with rage.

 

'This fucking cunt was touching Harry in a non appropriate way,' Louis shouted pointing his finger in the man's face. The man stood up and looked at Louis.

 

'The whore didn't seem to mind it so why should you?' he spat at Louis and that was it. Louis threw himself at them man but security was faster than him and they held him back.

 

'He's not a whore you piece of shit!' Louis yelled at him. Harry stood stock still as he watched Louis in his expensive suit wrestle to get out of the hold the security guy had on him. Adam turned to the man in question.

 

'Sir you know well enough that this is a no touching area. If you wish to spend private time with Harry than that can be arranged. Mr. Tomlinson is part owner of the club and is strict to rules. Now Sir,might I offer you a complimentary bottle of champagne and perhaps a VIP room?' The man grinned at Louis and looked at Harry, licking his lips. Harry felt the blood go to his feet. Possibly Adam was going to send him with this man to VIP?

 

'That sounds wonderful,' the man said. He held out his hand to Harry.'Shall we?' Harry looked from the man to Adam to Louis who was looking furious but since none of them said anything, he quietly took the man's hand and let him lead him to the VIP rooms. Before he went up the stairs, he gave Louis a pleading look and Louis knew exactly what he had to do. Once the security let him go he turned his rage on Adam.

 

'Did I not strictly fucking tell you to not send Harry to VIP?' he growled. Adam licked his lips.

 

'Yes you did but he is here to do a job and sometimes he has to be sent to VIP as well. It is not fair for the others.....'

 

'I don't give a fuck about the others,' Louis yelled, attracting more attention from their clients. 'Go up there and get Harry out of that VIP and send him to mine.' Adam shook his head slowly.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson, he is paying good money for Harry. Harry is in big demand you see.' Louis chuckled darkly.

 

'I'll triple whatever that prick is paying you now go fucking get him and see that that piece of trash has his membership reversed. I don't want him in my club again. Got it?' Adam nodded as he began walking towards VIP. Louis called the bartender over and asked for another drink then told him to send up a bottle of champagne to his VIP. Once he downed the drink, Louis made his way upstairs. He found Harry already in his room, standing awkwardly in his tiny silver boxers. Louis closed the door behind him and eyed him.

 

'I'm s-s-so sorry.....' Harry began but Louis cut him off.

 

'Did I fucking tell you you could speak?' he yelled and he saw Harry visibly shrink away from him. Louis didn't know why he was mad at Harry because Harry hadn't really done anything to deserve his anger. A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts. Louis opened the door and found one of the boys with his bottle of champagne and 2 flutes.Louis took them and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the couch and placed the items on the table. He took off his jacket and his tie, un-buttoning the top two buttons of his shirt then he sat down.

 

'Come here,' he ordered Harry and Harry was quick to obey walking over to stand by Louis. Louis rolled his eyes. 'Sit for fucks sake.' Louis watched Harry as he sat down next to him. He was shaking a little and Louis knew that he scared him. He wanted to reach out and touch him,touch that beautiful skin but something held him back. 'Are you alright?' Louis asked him a little more gently. Harry looked at him with his big green eyes.

 

'Yes. Thank you,' he said softly. Before Louis knew what was happening,Harry leaned over and placed his lips on his. Louis froze and didn't move. Harry's lips were soft and plump and warm as they gently moved over his. Louis never kissed any of his boys. Ever. He found himself responding to Harry's lips though, moving his own against Harry's. He lifted his hand and placed it behind Harry's neck pulling him closer.Harry parted his lips for Louis and Louis didn't have to think twice before he plunged his tongue into Harry's warm mouth. Harry moaned into his mouth and Louis felt as if his whole body had been set on fire. Harry moved his body without breaking the kiss and straddled Louis' lap and Louis honestly thought that he had just died and gone to heaven. He placed his hands on Harry's hips but didn't pull him closer.

 

They continued to kiss, their kiss getting sloppier and hotter. Harry rolled his hips gently over Louis and their cocks brushed together and this time it was Louis' turn to moan at the contact. Harry was hard. He could feel him grinding against him. Louis didn't know what to do. He never did this kind of shit. This was all new to him and he really didn't know what to make of it. Harry broke the kiss and looked down at Louis, both of them panting hard.

 

'I want to do something for you,' Harry told him hoarsely and Louis felt his voice go straight to his painfully hard dick.

 

'You don't have to,' Louis told him. He knew that Harry was a virgin and that he had never been touched and even though he wanted to fuck him so bad, he didn't want Harry to feel obliged that he had to do anything as some sort of payment. Harry slid off his lap and got on his knees between Louis' legs.

 

'I want to,' he told him, looking up at him from beneath his lashes as he fumbled to undo Louis' belt. He was still clumsy and his hands shook but that was Harry. That was what had enthralled Louis in the first place; his innocence and clumsiness. Louis held his breath as he felt Harry un-button his pants and unzip him. Louis knew that Harry had never done this before and he didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. He gently touched his hair, twirling a lock around his finger. His hair was so very soft.

 

'Hey, you really don't have to,' he told him again. He could feel the boy trembling. Harry didn't say a word. He just pulled Louis' dick out of his boxers and wrapped his fingers around his length. Louis held his breath as he felt Harry's hand moved slowly up and down on him, stroking him.

 

Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!

 

This was so innocent. Louis' sex life and drive were no match for this but Louis felt sure that he was going to come really really soon and that would be embarrassing. The boy was only pumping him for God's sake and he was barely doing it right. Just then Harry bent down his head and licked at Louis' head making Louis jump.

 

Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!

 

Harry looked up at him as he continued to lick at his leaking head, his pink tongue darting out and licking and swirling around Louis. Louis felt the beginning of his orgasm coiling in his lower abdomen.Suddenly Harry took him in his mouth and Louis almost let out a high pitched scream when he felt his hot wet mouth around him. Harry bobbed his head up and down slowly, taking as much of Louis as he could. He wasn't an expert at giving head but for the first time it wasn't too bad.

 

Louis couldn't resist bucking up his hips and he felt his dick hit the back of Harry's throat and watched the boy gag hard. He watched as his eyes watered, the tears spilling on his cheeks. He looked so beautiful with his sinful mouth wrapped around his dick. Harry continued to suck and bop his head up and down Louis' dick and Louis couldn't hold it any longer. He stroked Harry's hair loving the feel of it.

 

'I'm...I'm coming Harry....just mo-move,' he managed to croak out but Harry didn't budge. He continued to suck Louis off until Louis came hard down his throat. He watched Harry gag and choke on his cum and he felt awfully bad for him but damn it was good. When Harry finally pulled his mouth off him, Louis tried to regain control of his senses. Harry wiped his mouth and sat back up next to Louis.

 

'W-was that okay?' he asked him shyly and Louis thought he might just fall apart from this boys innocence. He gave him a smile.

 

'It was good,' he told him as he tucked himself back into his boxers and did his pants back up. He poured two glasses of champagne and handed one to Harry, who took a drink right away. Louis figured he wanted to get the taste of his cum out of his mouth. It was then that Louis noticed how hard Harry was. Harry was trying to hide his erection by placing his hands in his lap. Louis was once again at an utter loss.He had never had to deal with his partners. He didn't care if they got off or not. It wasn't his business to please them but Harry....Harry was Harry and for the first time in his life Louis wanted to touch someone. He cleared his throat not really knowing howto do this.

 

'Do you...uhm need help with that?' Louis asked him.

 

'Wow Nicholas Sparks could really write a romantic novel about you and your romantic ways!

 

Harry blushed deeply and looked down, try to cover himself up.

 

'I..I...no its alright Sir,' he stammered.

 

Help him asshole!

 

Louis scooted a little closer to Harry and placed his hand on his bare thigh. This was too intimate for his liking. He's never been intimate before but he reckoned that there was a first for everything.

 

'If you want to...I can,' Louis told him softly and Harry raised his eyes and found Louis looking at him intently. God he wanted Louis to touch him! Harry nodded once. Louis felt excitement course through him.Harry was allowing him to touch him. He was going to be the first to touch him. Louis took his glass and placed it on the table.

 

'Lie back,' he instructed him and Harry obeyed right away. Louis loved how Harry obeyed him, that he was such a good sub without even knowing it. Harry lay back on the couch and it was wide enough for Louis to lie down next to him. After all these couches were made to have multiple people lie down on them. For the first time ever, Louis wasn't quite sure what to do. Was this simply just part of the job for Harry? Was he going to this with somebody else? The thought caused Louis' stomach to tighten in anger and his mood to turn dark.

 

Why are you being so possessive? He's not yours. Anyone can touch him or fuck him.

 

'Do you want me to touch you?' Louis asked him trying to put some distance to what he was feeling. He had to ask because he didn't know what Harry was expecting from him.

 

'Yes,' Harry said, his voice barely above a whisper yet Louis still hesitated. He didn't want to get attached to this boy yet he felt like he already was. Harry saw the confusion on his face and gently touched Louis' cheek.

 

'Its alright you know,' he told him quietly. 'I trust you.' Louis blinked as if trying to understand Harry's words. He trusted him? Louis nodded as if to himself and slipped his hand inside Harry's boxer without giving it another second thought. The boy was big. Louis gripped him tightly and Harry hissed, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. The column of his neck was exposed and Louis couldn't help himself. He leaned down and licked a stripe up Harry's neck as he began to move his hand up and down Harry's hard dick.Louis watched his face. He had never seen someone's face while he pleasured them because he never did. But Harry was something else.His plump lips were parted and his cheeks were flushed. His chest was rising and falling rapidly.

 

'Please Sir,' he whispered and once again Louis nearly lost his shit. He could feel himself getting hard again at just seeing the boy's face and hearing his soft moans and please. Louis pumped him a little faster while he began sucking a love bite at the side of his neck.

 

'Mine,' Louis growled against the hot skin of Harry's neck. Harry was panting hard now feeling like he was close to his orgasm bucking up his hips into Louis' fist.

 

'Yours Sir,' he breathed as Louis pumped him harder and faster. 'Just yours. Ah I'm..I'm close Sir,' he panted out.

 

'Come for me,' Louis whispered hotly in his ear and Harry came undone at Louis' touch and Louis looked at his beautiful orgasm face, felt his body tremble as he rode it out and that to Louis was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or experienced. When Harry came to, Louis was already sitting up fully dressed and sipping his champagne. Harry sat up and fixed himself the best he could. He needed a shower because he felt all sticky. Louis watched him carefully.

 

Ask him if he's alright. He is not your whore.

 

Louis ignored his subconscious and got up. He looked at his watch. 11:00 pm. He needed to get home and call one of his boys. He needed a good fuck after all this emotional shit. He fished out a 100 pound tip and placed them on the couch next to Harry's thigh.

 

'Well I have to go,' Louis told him.

 

'Y-You don't need to tip me Sir,' Harry told him softly. Louis smiled.

 

'I want to. At least you earned it today.'

 

'Wow smooth talker really.

 

Harry nodded but said nothing. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'I will make sure Adam will not send you to VIP again. The only VIP you will visit is when I'm here. Understood?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry replied not lifting his head. Louis walked out without another word to Harry and when the door closed behind him, Harry felt what it was like to be a whore. He had told Mr. Tomlinson that he did not sell his body for sex and he had just done exactly that. Harry felt low and used but what did he expect? He should've known better than to take a liking to Mr. Tomlinson. He would be a fool to think that he mattered anything to a man like him. Mr. Tomlinson was rich and famous and he was just a boy struggling in this world to make something of himself while selling his body to get there. Men like Mr. Tomlinson didn't fall for people like him. All he was to Mr. Tomlinson was his personal whore.


	3. Testing Waters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with another chapter. I am so happy that you are liking my fic and are eager for more chapters. That makes me happy. So here is chapter 3 for you lovely people. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. Hope you like this one. All the love M.

Testing Waters.

 

 

Harry sat at the usual lunch table he shared with his friends outside under the tree and waited for his friends to arrive. It was cold today but Harry never minded the cold. He was a winter person. He zipped up his brown aviator jacket and waited as his laptop took its sweet time to boot up. It was old and he needed a new one but he couldn't afford it. He could barely afford life as it was right now. He was eternally grateful that his friends helped him every now and then. Sometimes Niall let him skip rent. And sometimes Liam bought him lunch. And other times Nick would give him some extra money. It was hard Harry knew that and it would be easier if he would quit Uni and just got a full time decent job but he had dreams and he wanted to pursue them. He couldn't just give up.

 

His job at Garland's mostly went to pay for his tuition. Sometimes he was late in paying his rent and there were many things he went by without. In fact, he went by without a lot of things but Harry looked at the bigger picture. Yes, he was suffering and struggling now but once he graduated and got a good job and started writing, all would be okay and he would be able to repay his friends for all the help that they were giving him now.

 

His lap top booted slowly and his mind wandered. He thought that maybe he should tell Adam to let him do VIP. Those who did VIP earned a lot more money. Last week while he was in the dressing room, he heard Justin boast that a client had given him a 500 pound tip for a fuck! Harry's mind began working. If he did VIP at least twice a week and got that amount of tips plus his wage, he would be comfortable financially. How bad could it possibly be to let a man fuck you? How long could it last? But deep down Harry knew he was not cut out for this. As much as he needed the money, he couldn't bring himself to do this. His mum had raised him better than this and he already felt guilty enough about what he was doing let alone if he were to take it any farther.

 

Then there was Mr. Tomlinson. The thought of him saddened Harry down to the marrow. Ever since their last encounter which was a week ago, Mr. Tomlinson hadn't stepped foot at Garland's. All week Harry had waited for him to walk in through the doors. A whole week while Harry had given lap dances and strip shows he had looked at the doors and waited for him to walk through, but he never did and Harry didn't know why that saddened him. He couldn't help but think that he had done a poor job of giving Mr. Tomlinson head but he had no experience in these sort of things. He was willing to learn though. For him. For Mr. Tomlinson. Harry felt the need to please the man, to make him proud of him even though to him he was just another whore.

 

It made him sad. He knew he wasn't a whore and it killed him that Mr. Tomlinson saw him and treated him as such. What he did with Mr. Tomlinson was from feeling, a feeling that Harry had had the moment he had laid eyes on him. Yes Mr. Tomlinson scared him. Yes he was strict and controlling and demanding and had a fierce temper and Harry didn't even begin to pretend that beneath all that was a kinder gentler person. Only Harry didn't need to pretend because he had seen snippets of the kind gentle Mr. Tomlinson and that's what drew Harry to him. Harry closed his eyes and remembered the way Mr. Tomlinson had touched him. He had been so gentle and Harry had trusted him with his body. It had been the first time he had let anyone touch him. It had been the first time that he had been made to come by someone else's hand. A shiver went through Harry's body at the memory.

 

Harry shook his head and scolded himself for being so stupid and so silly. This was not 'Pretty Woman.' The rich guy was not going to fall in love with the whore. End of. And Harry knew he had to stop daydreaming about Mr. Tomlinson.

 

His laptop finally booted up and it took another twenty minutes for his photo shop program to open. He needed to edit a few photos to enter them into a competition. The winner would get his photos published for a whole month in their weekly issue of a photography magazine so Harry figured that if he won, he would get to share 4 of his best photos and maybe someone would see them and offer him some kind of job where he would get to take photos. Wasn't a big possibility that he'd win but he had to try.

 

Niall was the first to arrive at the table and sat down next to Harry.

 

'Hey bud how's it going?' Niall asked him when he saw the frown on his face. Harry sighed deeply.

 

'This laptop is in its last stages of life and I need to edit some photos to enter a competition hoping I will win which I am pretty sure I won't,' Harry told him frustrated. Niall clapped him on the back.

 

'Dude I told you you can use mine if you need it.' Harry looked at his friend sadly.

 

'I feel like a charity case Niall. You guys help me so much and right now I can't repay you and I feel awful for it.' Niall wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close.

 

'Don't you ever ever refer to yourself as a charity case again. I mean it Haz. It could be me that needed the help and I'm pretty sure you would offer it to me. You are not just my best friend, you are my brother and I got you yeah.' Harry felt a lump close around his throat. He was feeling too much and he was overly sensitive and emotional. He bit back the tears that were threatening to fall. Niall felt him shudder in his arms. He moved back a little and looked at him.

 

'What is it Haz? You've been in a funk for a while now but I didn't want to pry since you didn't look like you were going to tell me anything. Is something wrong besides the stuff I know about?' Harry swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and shook his head at Niall not trusting himself to talk. How could he possibly tell him about Mr. Tomlinson and his feelings for him? How could he tell him that he was more than just a stripper, that he had crossed a line that he knew he couldn't come back from? How could he possibly tell Niall that he was taking money for sexual activities? Niall hugged him tighter.

 

'Just know I'm here for you for whatever okay. I got you Haz.' Harry nodded again and sighed heavily as the program he had been using to edit his photos crashed and he didn't even get to save his work. He wanted to cry. He wanted to go home, get under the covers and hide away from the world but that wasn't a luxury he could afford. Just as he was commiserating in his plans to wallow in misery, Zayn and Liam joined them, sitting opposite them.

 

'Hey guys,' Liam greeted them as he wrapped his arm around Zayn's waist and pulled him closer. Harry envied them. He loved his friends dearly and was glad that they had found love but he envied them. He wanted to be loved and to be in love with someone who would treasure him just as much as Liam treasured Zayn. He wanted to be someone's first thought when they woke up in the morning and their last thought before bed. He wanted to feel safe and secure in the arms of the person he loved and who loved him back with the same intensity.

 

'Harry,' Zayn's voice brought him out of his miserable thoughts. 'Are you okay?' Harry looked at him and gave him a weak smile, hoping that Zayn would not hear about his VIP with Mr. Tomlinson.

 

'Yeah I'm just frustrated with my laptop. Its just a piece of shit,' he complained. He didn't mean to whine to his friends but his life right now wasn't exactly good. Niall told them what Harry had just said about his laptop and photos and how Niall had told him that they got his back.

 

'Harry, you know you can count on us,' Liam told him as he reached across the table and placed his hand over his. Harry nodded.

 

'I know. Thank you,' he said quietly. Just then Nick came running towards them and flopped down next to Harry.

 

'I just like heard the best news ever,' he told them his voice full of excitement. All eyes where on him waiting for him to deliver this best news that he had heard. When Nick was sure all attention was on him, he continued:

 

'Well the Dean just called me into his office and informed me that TGE is going to fund the refurbishment of the photo lab and equip it with the latest technology. Works should be starting this week and shouldn't last longer than two weeks. The CEO of TGE is going to supervise everything himself like how fucking awesome is that? The Dean wants me to run a piece in the magazine about him and the new photo lab when its done so Harry I am going to need you on this project. I am so excited for this.' Liam, Zayn and Niall looked at him not really understanding his excitement regarding a photo lab but then again they were not studying photography. Harry looked at him and gave him a smile.

 

'Wow that's awesome. So we don't have to like develop our photos out of our own pockets anymore?' Harry asked him. Nick couldn't contain his excitement.

 

'No we won't. This lab will be equipped with the latest tech in digital photography and also in photo processing. We are going to have our own dark room Haz!' Nick told him.

 

'That's brilliant,' Harry agreed feeling thankful that something good had come his way. It was costing him a fortune to set up his portfolio and he had had put it on hold for lack of finances. Now he could resume working on it once the lab was done. In the silence of his heart he thanked the generosity of this CEO of whatever TGE was.Things were looking up and Harry held on to the faith that maybe things would eventually start to get better. All he had to do was stay on track, work hard, dream big and not let Mr. Tomlinson disrupt his life.

 

 

X

 

The following week was a little chaotic for Harry and Nick. They had workers and technicians in and out of the photo lab and Nick insisted they supervise the work and check what stuff gets to be thrown out and what stays. If it was up to Harry, he would've thrown everything out as most of the stuff was ancient and half of it didn't even work but according to Nick that was "vintage" stuff so they got to keep some of it.

 

Harry had a busy week. He had asked Adam if he could work all night during that week, hoping he could earn some extra money so that he could meet the rent at the end of the month and not put extra pressure on Niall. Adam didn't seem to mind and he let him work all week. After all, Harry was highly demanded. And all week Harry waited and hoped that Mr. Tomlinson would come back but he didn't. It was the second week that he hadn't shown up at Garland's and Harry kicked himself daily for daring to dream that Mr. Tomlinson liked him or thought he was special. But could you blame him when on that night when Mr. Tomlinson had touched him, as he had made him come, he had whispered in Harry's ear "mine". Harry had thought about it long and hard, still feeling Mr. Tomlinson's hand on him and hearing his voice in his ear. Harry had hoped he would be back and that he would touch him again. He didn't know why he craved his touch so much and why he was so taken by the man. It just was.

 

Harry tried to dispel these thoughts by immersing himself in his assignments. He had borrowed Niall's laptop and finally finished editing the photos and sent them off for the competition. He had worked hard on his essays for English language. Since he was in his first year at Uni, he had been given a rather long reading list some of which included Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer, Paradise Lost by Milton, anything by Shakespeare and not leaving out his reading on Early Medieval Literature and Victorian and Modern Literature. He was swamped but he had been catching up on his reading in between lectures and free time. He worked all week from 8 pm till 3 am and he was usually up by 8 am depending on what time his lectures started. He was lucky that most of them started at 10 am. He only had one day where his earliest lecture was at 9 am. During the weekends he worked alternately so during that free time, he read and studied, worked on his photography and tried to catch up on sleep.

 

He was in the middle of writing his final part of his essay due on Monday when Nick slipped in the seat next to him.

 

'What are you doing?' Nick asked him. Harry looked up from his notebook.

 

'I'm finishing up this essay so maybe I can have the weekend a little lighter.' Nick rubbed a hand up and down his back.

 

'You work too hard Harry,' Nick told him. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I have to if I'm to graduate Nick,' Harry explained for what seemed like the hundereth time. Nick always pointed this out and Harry knew that he meant well but he didn't need to be made aware of it every single time.

 

'Well you shouldn't have to if only you allowed me to forward you a loan. No interests and you can pay me back when you are a famous writer with a best seller and a professional photographer for Gucci.' Harry laughed.

 

'And I have thanked you for your offer but I want to do this on my own Nick. With my own sweat and blood.'

 

'But why must you sweat blood when I can make it all easier for you and you can quit that job at Garland's? I really don't like you exhibiting yourself like that.' Harry sighed and put his pen down on his notebook.

 

'Nick, you are not my boyfriend for you to have any say in what you like and what you don't in my life,' Harry told him gently. Nick had been trying to be his boyfriend for what seemed like ages now. Harry knew that he liked him but Nick was not his type.

 

'I'm not your boyfriend because you won't let me be your boyfriend,' Nick argued. 'If I was your boyfriend, you would be living with me in that big ass empty apartment my parents got me and you wouldn't have to take the fucking tube every day to get here and you won't have to work at that sleazy club anymore and I could give you all that you need without you having to struggle for it.' Harry smiled at Nick again as he watched him pout.

 

'The apartment I share with Niall is more than enough for me and I like taking the tube. I get to observe people and wonder about their lives and where they are going. I get to read on the 20 minute tube ride to here. And FYI, the club I work at is not sleazy. Actually its kinda pretty chic. Plus, the struggles I have today will show my achievements of tomorrow. I want hard work to get me to where I'm going. Besides Nicholas Grimshaw, money and material things are not everything in life. There are more pressing matters in life than material things and I am pretty sure that there are people who have a life that's worse than mine and are struggling more than I am.' Nick rolled his eyes dramatically.

 

'You should go work for Greenpeace and save the whales or go be a missionary in some third world country.'

 

'Nothing wrong with that,' Harry told him smiling his dimpled smile. 'We are the lucky ones who should be out there helping those who are worse than us.' Again Nick rolled his eyes.

 

'Please stop you are giving me heartburn.' Harry laughed loudly.

 

'Okay so what I actually came to tell you is that the works on the lab will be finished by early next week and by mid-week we should expect the founder and benefactor of our new cool lab to make a visit. Since we, well I am head of the lab and Uni magazine, the Dean has instructed me to show him around and I want you to come along with me since you are lab and magazine assistant.' Harry shrugged.

 

'Sure. I'll help you out. Anything you want me to prepare?' Nick looked him up and down.

 

'Prepare yourself and make yourself look presentable. Seriously Harry, you need a pair of jeans that don't have holes in them and a new pair of boots. Please please please let me take you shopping? I'll get down on my knees and beg you.' It was Harry's turn to roll his eyes.

 

'Fine but on one condition.'

 

'Which is?' Nick asked him cocking an eyebrow at him.

 

'No designers. We are going to Primark.' Nick's eyes went wide.

 

'Tell me you are fucking kidding me Harry Styles! You can't be possibly be serious in making me go shopping at Primark.' Harry laughed.

 

'Primark or nothing and I thought we were shopping for me not for you.' Nick sighed in defeat.

 

'Fine. You wanna be cheap, be cheap. Primark it is.' Nick got up and as he began walking away he turned back to Harry.

 

'Oh and meet me by the library in an hour. I'm taking you to lunch.' Harry shook his head and just mouthed okay at Nick who turned and walked away.

 

 

X

 

The day arrived at the University for the official opening of the new Photography Lab. It could be felt all around the University that it was a special day. Harry and Nick were outside the Dean's office waiting for the benefactor to arrive. Nick was fussing over everything and everyone. He looked Harry up and down.

 

'You should've let me get you a pair of Versace jeans and a Marc Jacobs shirt. I can't believe you are about to meet the CEO of TGE in Primark!' Nick complained. Harry chuckled.

 

'Nick I could careless about the guy and I am positively sure he will care even more less about what I'm wearing. I'm grateful he funded the lab and all but if I was going to meet the Queen I would probably wear these same clothes.' Nick turned on him giving him the evil eye.

 

'Shame on you. Disgracing the Queen like that!' Harry laughed. He knew Nick was nervous. Harry squeezed his arm gently.

 

'Relax. You will do just fine okay. The guy will not notice me let alone my cheap Primark clothes. He will only have eyes and ears for you and look at you glowing in Prada.' Nick gave him a smile.

 

'You think so?'

 

'I know so,' Harry reassured him. Just then the Dean opened his office door and stepped out.

 

'Our guest have arrived. Nick, Harry shall we?' The Dean walked ahead of them and Nick began taking in deep breaths to calm himself, then looked at Harry.

 

'Okay Primark boy its show time.' They followed the Dean down to the front of the campus just as a black shiny Bentley stopped at the foot of the stairs that led into the University. The driver got out of the car and opened the back door for his boss and Louis Tomlinson stepped out, looking immaculate in a tailored black suit, a white shirt, a maroon tie and Rayban Aviators. Harry froze and he felt his blood turn to ice just as his heart lurched hard against his sternum and beat frantically. His palms began to sweat and his entire immune system got all fucked up. It was his turn to breathe in and breathe out and try to control the panic attack he was having at the sight of Mr. Tomlinson. So he was the CEO of TGE?

 

Louis climbed up the stairs looking relaxed and happy and with not a care in the world. He shook hands with the Dean and exchanged a few words. Harry watched him from beneath his lashes, his heart crashing against his ribs. He hadn't seen him in 3 weeks and the last time he had seen him, he was with his hand down his boxers jerking him off. Now he was here and he hadn't even looked in his direction once. Of course not! He was not going to acknowledge his whore in public.

 

The Dean turned to Nick. 'Mr. Tomlinson, this is Nicholas Grimshaw, head of the photography lab and also chief of our University's own magazine.' Harry watched as Mr. Tomlinson turned to Nick and shook his hand with a smile on his face while on the other hand, Nick was fan girling and drooling over him. Harry prayed that the Dean wouldn't introduce him, that he would just let him go by unnoticed. This was Nick's pride parade and Harry didn't want to rain on it but the Dean had other plans.

 

'And this is Harry Styles photography lab assistant, assistant editor and photographer on the University's magazine, head of the literature club and brilliant chess player.' Harry's heart stopped as he watched Mr. Tomlinson smile at him and extend his hand towards him as if he was just meeting him for the first time. Harry took it and he could swear he could feel the sizzle of electricity as they shook hands.

 

'Very nice to meet you Mr. Styles,' Louis told him not giving any hint at all that he knew him. Harry felt confused and a little dizzy. Mr. Tomlinson walked past him as he walked with the Dean and Nick, listening to them telling him about the works on the photo lab and the benefits it will have on the University and the students. Harry walked a few steps behind them lost in his own thoughts wondering how this man was acting like he had never even set eyes on him before. But of course, he wasn't going to act like they were BFF's. Probably he didn't want to know anyone to know that he was a regular and part owner of Garland's.

 

They now entered the newly refurbished photo lab and Harry watched as Mr. Tomlinson was being shown around and introduced to the hi-tech equipment that now adorned the new lab. Mr. Tomlinson looked highly satisfied with everything. When they were done walking around the lab inspecting everything, Nick asked him:

 

'Mr. Tomlinson would you be willing as founder of this amazing lab to give us an interview and maybe a small photo shoot for our next month's issue of the magazine?'

 

'Sure thing,' Louis replied. Nick smiled big.

 

Dickhead.

 

'Excellent. Maybe we could set up a date for when I can interview you and set up a place where you would like the photo shoot.' Louis seemed to bethinking then he said:

 

'Well you can send in your questions by email to my secretary which I will answer and she will email them back to you and as for the photo shoot, well I would really like Mr. Styles to take care of that.' The room went as silent as a tomb. Nick's smile slid of his face as he turned his attention to Harry. The Dean looked at Harry. Harry looked at everyone like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

 

'Me?' he croaked out. Louis gave him a smile and Harry was sure his legs were going to give.

 

'You are a photographer no?' he asked him. Before Harry could reply, Nick answered.

 

'He is just the assistant photographer. I am head photographer Mr. Tomlinson. Harry doesn't have much experience in the field yet.' Louis ignored him.

 

Wanker.

 

He kept his eyes on Harry as Harry chewed on his bottom lips nervously and fidgeted with his fingers feeling as if he was being put on trail by the Spanish Inquisition.

 

'All the better to train him then. Isn't that right Mr. Grimshaw? At my company I have learned that when you hire a person who has no experience in the field of work you can train them yourself and mould them into what you expect of them to present in their work. So far, I have not been wrong. I strongly believe this will be an opportunity of experience for Mr. Styles.' All eyes remained on Harry and he felt exposed and shy. What was Mr. Tomlinson doing?

 

'I think that is a wonderful idea,' the Dean agreed with Mr. Tomlinson. 'So what do you say Mr. Styles?' Harry looked at Nick and saw him glaring at him and he knew Nick wanted him to refuse the offer because Nick really wanted this opportunity but Harry couldn't refuse because this was Mr. Tomlinson and he hadn't seen him in 3 weeks.

 

'Thank you for the uhm opportunity Sir,' Harry said quietly.

 

'Excellent,' Louis said happily. 'Shall we get going then?' Harry looked at him shocked.

 

'You uhm want to ugh do the uhm photo shoot now?' Harry asked him.

 

'What time is better than now hmm? Never put off until tomorrow that which you can do today right?' Louis asked him raising an eyebrow at him. Harry felt flustered and his cheeks burned and he was pretty sure Mr. Tomlinson could see this.

 

'I uhm don't have my ugh camera with me Sir,' Harry told him and he really wanted the earth beneath him to open up and swallow him whole. Why couldn't Mr. Tomlinson just let Nick take his damn pictures? What if he screwed this up?

 

'Then we shall go and get it,' Louis told him. 'My driver is right outside so we can go and get your camera.' Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing and clearly neither could Nick because his mouth was hanging slack open. 'I will wait for you in my car then Mr. Styles,' Louis told him as he shook hands with Nick and began walking away talking to the Dean. As soon as they were out of ear shoot, Nick pushed past him.

 

'Thanks a lot you fucking traitor,' he spat at Harry. Harry looked at him stunned.

 

'What did I do?' he asked innocently. Nick turned on him his face full of rage.

 

'You could've fucking refused. You know how much this meant to me. I thought we were friends but I see you're nothing but a back stabber playing the mysterious guy lingering in the back ground just to get his attention.' Nick turned to leave but Harry gripped his arm stopping him.

 

'Please Nick its not like that. I can't explain it but its not what you think. I...I will take bad shots of him okay. He will see I'm a crap photographer and he will want you. I would never stab you in the back or take something from you Nick. You know me better than that. He will ask for you after he sees my pictures okay. Please don't be mad at me.' Nick softened a little at Harry's words and felt bad that he had taken out his anger on him. He gave him a small smile.

 

'Okay. Go then,' he told him.

 

Louis sat waiting in his car for Harry to arrive. Usually he wasn't the type of person to sit around waiting for anyone but Harry was worth waiting for. After 3 weeks of not seeing him and struggling with staying away from him, today he had to face him because today was unavoidable and the moment Louis laid eyes on him, he knew that it was futile to try and stay away from him.

 

Hate to say it but I told you so!

 

Louis felt pleased that he had managed to get Harry to take his pictures after that pompous prick had put him down as a mere assistant photographer degrading his talents in front of the Dean. He had never actually seen any of Harry's work but he was sure that Harry was good. With those hands how could he not be? He was surely good with his mouth...and Louis' mind drifted off to Harry on his knees in those tiny silver hot pants giving him head. Louis arranged his trouser pants because they were getting tighter and he didn't want Harry to get into the car and see that he had a boner.

 

Finally, the boy in question emerged from the front doors of the University and Louis watched him as he walked towards the car, those never ending legs in those skinny black jeans, black button up shirt and brown coat, finished off by brown boots and his bag slung over his shoulder. He watched him as he hurried across campus, hefting his bag further up his shoulder and brushing his long hair out of his face. Louis pushed the car door open for him and Harry slid inside next to him.

 

'Hello Harry,' Louis told him casually.

 

'H-Hi Mr. Tomlinson,' Harry stammered out.

 

'How are you?' Louis asked him.

 

'I ugh am fine Sir,' Harry replied and Louis just had to smile at himself at Harry's polite etiquette and respect he always showed him.

 

'That's good. Where do I tell my driver to go to take you to get your camera?'

 

'To uhm my flat,' Harry told him absent mindedly. Louis chuckled.

 

'And where would your flat be?' Louis asked him, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He could see how nervous Harry was. He knew well enough that he made him uncomfortable. He placed his hand on Harry's thigh just above the knee and squeezed lightly. 'Relax,' Louis told him but Harry was far from being relaxed. Louis' touch burned into him.

 

'Its ugh its uhm in Edgware R-Road right uhm just off Praed Street Sir,' Harry mumbled. He was finding it difficult to function around Louis. The driver started up the car and Harry sat rigidly staring at his feet. The drive was short and silent. When the driver turned onto Edgware Road, Harry pointed to a building.

 

'That's my flat,' he said pointing to a building that had seen better days. Louis could see that Harry lived in a not too good an area of London. Harry opened the door of the car.

 

'I won't be long Sir,' he told him and made to get out but Louis stopped him.

 

'Aren't you going to ask me up?' he asked. Once again he caught Harry off guard.

 

'Oh ugh uhm yeah sure I mean if you want to Sir.' Louis gave him a smile.

 

'I want to. After you,' he told him as they both got out of the car. Harry fumbled in the front pocket of his back pack to find the keys. He finally located them and pulled them out, opening the front door. As they entered, Louis could see that the building was not in very good condition. There was no elevator but at least it was clean. Harry began climbing the stairs and luckily its was only two floors that had to climb. Harry stopped in front of a door that was once painted a light green but had lost its color and most of its paint. He inserted the key and pushed the door open. Louis followed him inside.

 

The flat was small. They entered into a medium sized room with windows on one side over looking the busy Edgware Road below. The room served as living room/kitchen. The kitchen was small but had all the necessary appliances. The living room had one big couch and two armchairs that did not match, a coffee table and a small unit with a flat screen telly on it and a gaming system beneath it. Harry watched as Louis took in every detail of the tiny flat he shared with Niall.

 

'Where's your room?' Louis asked him. Harry swallowed. Why did he want to see his room?

 

'D-down this way Sir,' Harry told him as he walked down a short dark corridor off the living room. He opened the door and stepped aside for Louis to enter. The room was small and cramped. It gave Louis claustrophobia. This room was smaller than the closet in his bedroom which housed all his clothes and shoes! How the hell did Harry stay in this room? The bed was small and Louis doubted it fitted the commodity of his long legs. Probably they hung off the edge. He had a small desk and chair beside it and Louis noticed the ancient laptop that was on it.

 

'Does this even work?' Louis asked him, running his fingers over the out dated laptop.

 

'Sometimes,' Harry replied. Louis walked around the small room and stopped in fornt of a small book case. He crouched down to look at Harry's books: Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Tess of The D'Ubervilles, Picture of Dorian Grey, the Game of Thrones collection, a volume of The Chronicles of Narnia, A book of the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe, A Collection of Poetry by Emily Bronte, Great Expectations and The Scarlett Letter. Louis hummed in appreciation to himself .The boy had good reading taste. On top of the book case was an even more ancient and out dated looking camera than the laptop placed on top of a portfolio. Louis picked it up pointed and at the portfolio.

 

'May I?' he asked Harry and Harry simply nodded. Louis opened the portfolio and looked at the amazing photographs Harry had taken. He had all types of photos and Louis could see his passion in those snapshots. When he had flipped though all of it, Louis turned to look at Harry.

 

'These are really good,' he complimented him and Harry gave him a shy smile.

 

'Thank you,' he replied politely. Louis then raised the camera in his hand.

 

'I believe we came for this,' he told him, handing the camera to Harry.

 

'Y-yes Sir,' Harry replied reaching out to take it but Louis moved it out of his grasp.

 

'Harry,' Louis said quietly and Harry felt his heart spike up. 'Please call me Louis.' This caught Harry by surprise and he just looked at Louis with his mouth open. Louis moved closer to him. 'Just Louis okay. Can you do that?' Harry nodded. 'Excellent,' Louis told him as he handed him his camera and began walking out of Harry's stuffed room. 'Now where do you want to go to take my pictures then?' Harry rubbed the back of his neck. What was Louis doing acting as if they were best friends?

 

'I uhm don't know Si-Louis,' Harry corrected himself. God his name sounded so beautiful on his lips. 'You can choose your own setting.' Louis thought for a second.

 

'I know. Come on.' They hurried down to the car and once they were in, Louis instructed Angus to take them to Regent Park. Harry furrowed his brows in confusion but said nothing. If Louis wanted his pictures taken at Regent Park then who was he to say any differently? Once they got to Regent Park they walked in silence for a while until Louis sat down on a park bench and motioned for Harry to sit down next to him.

 

'This is so new to me,' Louis told him as he peered out over the mass of green grass of the park from behind his Aviator Rayban sunglasses. 'I've never been off work before,' he admitted. Harry looked at him.

 

'You are your own boss and you never took a day off?' Louis laughed and Harry felt himself melt.

 

'You don't build an entire business like mine by taking days off,' Louis told him. Harry looked down at his hands that were holding the camera and wondered what was happening here. Why was Louis talking to him like this? Sharing with him? Harry had to know.

 

'You didn't come back,' Harry whispered. He watched Louis' smile slip off his face and braced himself to be yelled at.

 

'I know,' was all that Louis said. Harry debated whether to keep on talking, telling him what was on his mind. He couldn't hold it in any longer.

 

'I-I am so sorry if I w-wasn't good enough for you,' he said lowly not meeting Louis' eyes. He felt his cheeks burn. Louis turned to look at him knowing fully well what Harry was referring to.

 

'Harry look at me,' he ordered and Harry was quick to obey. 'What makes you think that?' Louis asked him. Harry licked his lips.

 

'Well after, you know, the VIP, you stopped coming to Garland's. I figured that I wasn't good enough for you to come back to.'

 

Oh my God this sweet sweet boy.

 

Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 'I stopped coming to Garland's because of me Harry. Because I was starting to develop a certain attachment to you and I don't do attachments. I stopped coming to Garland's because I wanted to get rid of any feelings you were giving me.' Harry looked at him with wide eyes as if he was a baby deer caught in the headlights of an on coming car. Louis sighed. 'It didn't work.' Harry tried to say something but what Louis had just said and his brain weren't adding up. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

 

He doesn't feel the same way about you. You are only another client.

 

'Say something,' Louis told him. For the first time in his life he felt the fear of rejection and feared that his subconscious might be right. That to Harry he was just another client.

 

'You...you h-have feelings for me?' Harry asked him not quite over the shock of hearing Louis' words. Louis nodded once.

 

'I don't know what this is Harry but I can't stay away from you and I can't fight against it any more. It's too tiring. You have become like an obsession to me,' Louis admitted. Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Louis watched him trying to make sense of all that he had told him but his silence was eating him up inside.

 

He's trying to find a way to let you down gently.

 

'I missed you,' Harry whispered not looking up at Louis. 'I-I waited for you every day at Garland's for the past three weeks.' His voice was low and deep and slow and it dragged on Louis' skin like velvet.

 

'You did?' Louis asked him, his fear subsiding a little. Harry nodded his head. They stayed in silence for a while each lost in their own thoughts, not knowing what to say. Finally Louis sighed.

 

'I don't know what to do Harry,' he said sounding a little defeated. Harry looked at him.

 

'I don't either,' he said quietly. Louis licked his lips nervously.

 

'I have never dated and I don't intend to yet I know I can't stay away from you. You have confused my entire structure and I don't know what to do about it. I am usually in control of my life and this is out of my hands. Its driving on its own and I can't stop it or control it and it makes me uneasy. It makes me feel not me.'

 

'It's okay,' Harry interjected. 'I understand.' Louis looked at him closely and saw that Harry had actually not understood anything of what he had just said. He was missing the whole point of it and Louis was feeling frustrated because he didn't know how to explain it to him.

 

'Harry, I didn't say its a bad thing. All I know is that I want to get to know you but....'

 

'Without getting attached,' Harry finished for him. Louis sighed heavily feeling resigned because he was messing this up.

 

'You make it sound like its a bad thing. Do you even want to get to know me?' Louis asked him with a little hope in his voice. He didn't even know if Harry was the least bit interested in him.

 

'Should I?' Harry asked him. He wanted to get to know him. He liked him. More than liked him but what Louis wanted was a no stings attached deal. Louis smirked at him.

 

'You really should,' he told him giving him a wink. Harry smiled at him but didn't commit a reply. 'Look,' Louis told him, 'how about we go grab some lunch?' Harry looked at him sheepishly.

 

'I thought we came out here to take some shots for the magazine?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Well go on then knock yourself out and take some pictures for that douche editor you call friend then I'm taking you for lunch.'

 

'He's not a douche,' Harry said defending Nick.

 

'Oh yes he is,' Louis protested. 'I can tell a douche from miles away and he's an ass kisser. He kisses ass to get what he wants. He was so trying to kiss my ass back there.' Harry chuckled.

 

'Is that why you gave this photo shoot to me cos I didn't kiss your ass?' Louis smiled and waggled his eyebrows at Harry.

 

'Oh I would so love for YOU to kiss my ass,' he told him a little lustfully. 'And I mean that in the literal sense.' Harry felt himself blush and Louis couldn't help the fond he felt for this boy who was blushing profusely at his sexual innuendo when he worked as a male stripper in his club. Harry cleared his throat.

 

'Shall we take the pictures then?' he asked Louis, his voice low.

 

'How do you want me?' Louis asked him. Harry swallowed, picking up on his innuendo again.

 

'Just be you. Relax,' Harry told him as he picked up his camera and starting taking pictures of Louis, catching him smiling with the sun in his face. Louis sat on the bench, one leg crossed over the other and let Harry take all the pictures he needed. After a while, he got up, fished out his phone and dialed Angus, while Harry continued to take pictures of him. When Louis was done with the phone call, he turned to Harry.

 

'Are you done? Can we go get lunch now? I'm starving.' Harry smiled at him and put his camera away.

 

'I think I have all I need,' he told Louis as they began walking toward the entrance of the park where Angus was parked waiting. Once they got in the car, Louis gave him directions to go to Sketch Restaurant in Mayfair London. Harry gaped at him.

 

'That's like a very expensive restaurant,' Harry pointed out and Louis smirked at him.

 

'Do I look like I can't afford to buy you lunch?'

 

'No..I..I didn't mean t-that. I meant....' Louis reached over and squeezed his knee and Harry felt that touch go everywhere inside his body.

 

'Harry relax. It's fine,' Louis reassured him. Harry looked down at himself and then a Louis. He knew he wasn't dressed right. Next to Louis' immaculate self he looked like a homeless bum. He suddenly felt very self conscious. Louis was like a billionaire and he had hardly enough to buy a Big Mac for lunch and Louis was taking him to a fancy restaurant.

 

'What is it?' Louis asked him when he saw that he had gone quiet.

 

'Look at me,' Harry said quietly. Louis grinned at him.

 

'Oh I'm looking,' he told him. Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'I'm not appropriately dressed,' Harry pointed out. Louis raked his eyes over Harry's body. His black skinny jeans, his black button down over them, buttons undone to reveal his swallow tattoos and the top of his butterfly, brown coat open over it and his long curly hair down his shoulders.

 

'You're right,' Louis told him pursing his lips. 'You are not appropriately dressed.' He paused and watched Harry's face fall. He leaned in closer and whispered into his ear. 'You are sinfully and deliciously dressed.' He pulled back and gave Harry a wink and watched pleasantly as the boy blushed and smiled a little smile to himself.

 

 

By the time they finished lunch, Harry was a little more at ease with Louis. He didn't want to like him so much but he couldn't help it. Despite the social differences between them and the fact that Louis wanted no attachments with him; of that he had made himself clear, Harry felt himself drawn in nonetheless. He was infatuated by him but he knew better than to even start falling for him. It was a no go situation and Harry knew this, still Louis was charming and handsome and fascinating.

 

They got into the car and Harry felt a little light headed from the expensive wine Louis had got them to go with their very expensive lunch. They settled back and Louis looked at Harry.

 

'Where to?' Harry looked at his watch. He was still in time for his last lecture and to get the pictures to Nick.

 

'To Uni,' Harry told him. Louis furrowed his brow at him.

 

'You're going back?'

 

'Um yeah I have another lecture and I uhm want to get the pictures to Nick. He's very strict about deadlines.'

 

'Okay then,' Louis told him. He told Angus to go back to the University. 'So can I take you to dinner tonight?' Louis asked him. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I can't. I'm ugh I'm working tonight. Its my um first solo strip show. Adam said I'm ready.'

 

Adam is a fucking dickhead.

 

Louis pursed his lips. 'So tonight is your big debut as Solo Stripper Harry,' he told him trying to hide his anger and frustration. Harry nodded. 'Then I wouldn't miss it for the world now would I?' Louis told him with a devilish grin.

 

Of course you wouldn't. You need to keep an eye on him so no one can touch him. But he's not yours.

 

Louis tried to ignore his subconscious and calm himself down as he struggled with the fact that tonight all eyes and dicks at Garland's will be on Harry. He didn't like it that he was going to strip. He didn't like it that he would exhibit himself to horny hungry men who wanted nothing more than to fuck him into next week. The car stopped in front of the University.

 

'Guess I'll see you late then?' Harry told him bringing Louis out of his thoughts. Louis looked at him.

 

'You bet on it,' he promised him, carefully hiding his annoyance. Harry made to get out of the car.

 

'Wait,' Louis stopped him. 'I haven't gotten your number,' he told him as he pulled out his phone and went to contacts already typing in Harry's name.

 

'I don't have a phone,' Harry told him softly. Louis looked up at him startled.

 

'You don't have a phone? Who in 2017 doesn't have a fucking phone?' Louis questioned as if offended.

 

'Apparently me,' Harry told him smiling at him. Louis shook his head.

 

'You should have a phone,' he stated matter of factly.

 

'They are a distraction,' Harry argued. 'I don't need one.'

 

'How do your friends reach you?' Louis argued back.

 

'I have a land line,' Harry offered and Louis scowled at him.

 

'What good is a fucking land line when you are hardly home? What if I want to reach you?' Louis asked him. Harry gave him his full dimpled smile and opened the car door.

 

'I have a land line,' he told him before getting out of the car and closing the door behind him.

 

'The cocky little shit,' Louis muttered to himself. 'Angus, to the office please.' He dialed a number on his phone and it was picked up on the first ring. 'Leonard, I need you to run an errand for me.'

 

x

 

Louis walked into Garland's a little shortly before midnight. He knew Harry would be on at midnight so he wanted to make sure he was there there on time. He walked to the bar and was greeted by Adam.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson what a pleasure it is to have you here with us tonight. Saved you a front row seat for the spectacular show Harry will be giving,' Adam told him, a huge smile on his face. Louis rolled his eyes in annoyance.

 

'Why the fuck did you give him a solo?' Louis growled at him. Adam went serious, placed a hand on his heart and cocked his head to the side.

 

'Why wouldn't I? The boy is a natural and very very much wanted by our clientele,' Adam explained. Louis could feel his nerves jingle by Adam's mock concern for Harry.

 

'That's the fucking point. I don't want him high in demand and you fucking know that yet you put him up there,' he growled. Adam narrowed his eyes at him scrutinizing Louis.

 

'And why wouldn't you want that Mr. Tomlinson? He is here to do a job like the others and he was telling me he needed a raise. I haven't put him in VIP like you ordered but he is a stripper and this was the least I could do for him. Strippers make a lot of tips but solo strippers, well they make much more and he needs it. I'm only here trying to help the boy advance in his career.' Louis felt the blood rush up to his head along with the urgent need to choke Adam.

 

'This is not his fucking career,' Louis spat at him. He didn't say anymore though because he had already given too much away in regards as to his interests towards Harry. Adam eyed him suspiciously with a knowing look.

 

'Whatever you say Mr. Tomlinson. You should probably take your seat. Our superstar starts in 5 minutes. I'll have a bottle of Dom sent to you.' Louis glared at him an unspoken warning and walked off towards his seat, right at the front of the stage. He sat down and looked at the still drawn curtains. He felt the fluttering again, right beneath his breastbone and navel. Just as the waiter placed the bottle of Dom down, Louis poured a glass and drank it in one go.

 

Excited much? Or nervous that your boy will be showing his body off and making men horny for him?

 

Louis drank another glass hoping to shut up his annoying subconscious. He wiped his sweaty palms on the pants of his expensive Versace suit. The lights dimmed down and his heart sped up. Wolf whistles and catcalls came from the packed floor and Louis wanted to get up and smack them all. As the curtain pulled back to reveal a dark stage, the whistles grew louder and Louis' hands curled into fists that rested on his thighs.

 

He's not yours, his subconscious reminded him. He belongs to them as much as you. He's doing a job.

 

Louis ground his teeth together as a lone spotlight fell on Harry, his back to the audience just as the music to 'Slow Hands' started. He wore a dark suit and Louis felt as if he was falling into a spiraling hole that had no bottom. Harry moved his hips slowly and seductively to the beat, he turned to face the audience. He had a tie on and his hair fell to his shoulders and Louis felt like he was going to have a seizure right on the spot. He was beautiful up there, the way his body was moving to the music. Louis was mesmerized caught up in him. The world around him ceased to exist, everything fell away but Harry and the music and the way he was moving his body.

 

As he moved to the front of the stage, Harry's eyes fell on him and he winked at Louis, keeping eye contact as he slowly slid the suit jacket off his shoulders letting it fall graciously to the floor. Then licked his lips, letting his tongue linger on his bottom lip.

 

Bastard son of a bitch! He's such a seductive asshole.

 

Louis felt himself going hard as he watched Harry move to the side of the stage moving seductively as he undid his tie ever so slowly then twirl it twice over his head and throw it into the audience. A bald man caught it and whooped at Harry and Louis wanted so bad to punch him in the face. Harry was standing in front of him again, eyes locked into his, and provocatively started to undo his shirt and the son of a bitch was doing it just the way that Louis had instructed him to do it the first time had met him in VIP.

 

One button at a time revealed his tattoos and sliver cross on his chain and Louis felt the sweat tricking down his back as he squirmed uneasily in his chair. When the buttons were undone, Harry removed his shirt, letting it fall to the floor with finesse. Louis stared at his torso littered with tattoos. Harry ran his hands up his torso, running his fingers over his nipples and biting down on his lower lip as he circled his hips, strutting them forward into empty air.

 

Louis felt as if he was going to spontaneously combust on the chair he was sitting on. He watched as Harry's hands trailed down his torso ever so slowly and rested on the button of his dress pants. Louis gulped, his throat so dry it hurt. Harry popped opened the button as he swirled his hips seductively and slowly lowered his zip to reveal something gold and glimmering beneath. Louis clawed at his thighs, his short nails digging into his skin through his pants.

 

Oh God don't tell me.....

 

But before he could finish the thought Harry pulled off the pants that left him in a gold thong. The whistles in the room rose to deafening proportion as Harry squatted professionally and rose up slowly, sticking his ass out for everyone to enjoy. He took it to the pole where he rutted against, slid down and slid up again and Louis could swear he was having a heart attack. Then Harry stepped down into the audience where men tried to grab at him but he only pushed his hips towards them and the only touching they did was to stick money in his tiny thong. Harry smiled at them and flirted with them as he shoved his ass in their faces.

 

Its his job. Its his job. Its his job.

 

Louis tried to keep calm as Harry sauntered over to him and straddled his legs, not sitting down on him, just circling his hips over him to the beat of the enticing music. Louis couldn't get his eyes off him and kept his his fists in his lap because at that moment, if he dared touch him, he would ravish him. Harry continued to gyrate on Louis as Louis tried to take it in and not come in his pants right there as the beautiful almost naked boy moved sexily in his lap. Louis couldn't even breathe.

 

Breathe in. Breathe out.

 

Thankfully Harry got off his lap, turned, flaunting his ass in Louis' face and got on stage again to finish his dance and Louis watched him transfixed and nailed to his chair, his thong full of 10 and 20 pound notes as Harry did his finale. Then the lights were off and Harry was gone. Louis exhaled slowly and unclenched his stiff fingers. He reached for his glass and downed another glass full of champagne. The fizzy alcohol soothed his dry throat helping him to regain some of his senses back. As soon as the lights went on again indicating the next act, Louis got up and walked to the bar where Adam was entertaining clients. He grabbed his elbow and turned him to face him.

 

'Send Harry to VIP. Now!' he growled.

 

'Yes Sir,' Adam said, smiling knowingly at him as he excused himself and walked towards the dressing rooms. Louis made his way to his very own VIP lounge, where another bottle of Dom was chilling for him, along with a gift bag that he had sent on earlier. He sat down on the couch, his hard dick throbbing painfully. He couldn't get Harry out of his mind, his sinful moves and that body. A light tap on the door as it opened softly revealed Harry, wrapped in a black satin robe.

 

'You called Sir?' Harry said shyly and Louis couldn't just fathom how the fuck this boy did it. He knew that in here he referred to Louis as "Sir" and how could he be shy and demure after that wanton performance? Harry walked in and closed the door behind him. He could see that this Louis sitting here was not the playful Louis of this morning. This was business Louis and Harry had to do his job. He walked over barefoot towards Louis. He stopped before him and Louis looked up at him almost adoring the boy standing in front of him.

 

'Did you like the show Sir?' Harry asked him. Harry felt as if he was detached from his normal life. He felt as if there were two Harrys and two Louis...the Harry and Louis of this morning and the Harry and Louis of now. Two different worlds colliding. Harry tried to keep the two lives separate, that way when he finished his job, he could return to his simple life and day dream about Louis.

 

Louis eyed him, undressing him with his eyes and Harry knew what he had to do.

 

'Private show?' Harry asked him as he moved to reach the small remote off the table, pressed play and 'Slow Hands' came on again. With the same remote, Harry dimmed the lights then stood in front of Louis, undid the belt of his satin robe and let it fall to the carpeted floor, exposing his body and the gold thong yet again. Louis swallowed hard as he drank him in with his eyes. He saw that Harry was half hard already unlike him. He was rock hard. He wanted to fuck this boy so bad but...

 

He's a virgin. You can't just use him and fuck him like the others.

 

Louis knew it was wrong to take his virginity away. He had never taken anyone's virginity away and he wasn't about to take Harry's. He watched as Harry moved his body over to him and straddled his lap, his bare ass resting on Louis thighs and Louis couldn't help himself. He reached behind Harry and cupped both his ass cheeks in his hands, kneading them and spreading them apart. He felt Harry stiffen. Louis looked up at him.

 

'Do you want me to stop?' he asked him softly. 

 

That's a first!

 

Harry shook his head and he ground down his hips against Louis' erection. Louis hissed at the feeling. Harry moved to the music, circling and grounding his hips rutting against Louis. Louis continued to keep his cheeks spread and every time Harry ground down, Louis bucked his hips up, their dicks rubbing against each other. Harry leaned down, his lips hovering over Louis, breathing heavily in his face. They continued to rut against each other, their thrusts becoming faster and sloppier. Louis decided to experiment, see how far Harry would let him go. He let his middle finger ghost over Harry's hole and again Harry stiffened. Nobody had touched him there before. Louis could feel him tremble.

 

'Too much?' Louis breathed out heavily.

 

'N-no S-sir,' Harry said even though he wasn't quite comfortable with Louis touching his hole. He was afraid Louis might finger him and he didn't, couldn't say no to Mr. Tomlinson. Adam had told him to please the man and he had to let him but nobody had fingered him before and he felt nervous. Louis brushed the tip of his finger against Harry's hole again not removing the thong out of the way. Harry had to admit that it did feel good even when Louis applied a little pressure on it and he gasped into his mouth. Harry began rutting harder against Louis as he gripped his shoulders tightly.

 

'It's okay baby,' Louis whispered against Harry's sweaty neck. Harry moaned as he felt his orgasm coiling in his lower abdomen, his spine tingling sending him a signal that he was close.

 

'I-I'm ahh I'm s-s-so oh God,' he moaned as Louis put more pressure on his hole but never breaching him and feeling Louis' dick brush against his. Louis was feeling his own orgasm coiling inside him and building and building and he couldn't believe that this boy was about to make him spill in his Calvin Klein briefs. Harry threw his head back and rutted harder against Louis and came hard in his thong, his body shaking on Louis lap and when Louis felt Harry's hole flutter against his finger, he spilled himself in his underwear.

 

'Fuck!' he hissed. 'Jesus fuck God Harry,' he moaned as both of them continued moving against each other till they rode out their orgasm. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and held him tightly, as if protecting him from the waves of spasms that rocked his body. Louis looked up into his face and his angel looked beautiful and flushed and sweaty, curls in a mess, lips parted as he breathed heavily.

 

He's not yours. He's just doing his job.

 

'Are you alright?' Louis asked him as he smoothed back his hair away from his face in the most loving affectionate way he had ever bestowed on anyone. Harry gave him a lazy smile.

 

'Yes Sir. Are you?' Harry asked him, his green eyes reaching deep into Louis where no one had ever dared to reach or where he ever allowed anyone to delve but Harry was delving and Harry was reaching and Louis was confused but he let him. It terrified him. He couldn't, just couldn't get attached. Emotionally, he had nothing to give to this boy.

 

'I'm good,' Louis told him curtly as he tapped him on his hips, indicating Harry to get off him. Harry bit his lower lip. That was it. Job done. Client satisfied. Harry got up off him and sat on the couch. Louis looked at him as he poured two glasses of champagne. 'Put your robe on,' he ordered and Harry was quick to obey. He took the glass Louis handed him and took a sip. They drank in silence for a few heartbeats then Louis grabbed the gift bag off the table and handed it to Harry.

 

'Here,' he simply told him. Harry looked at him in surprise but took the bag and opened it. A loud gasp fell out of his mouth and he looked at Louis a shocked look on his face.

 

Mr. Tomlinson...uhm Sir I-I can't take this,' Harry said. Louis took a sip from his drink.

 

'You can and you will,' he simply told him. Harry put his hand in the bag and pulled out a gold iPhone 7 plus. 'My number is already in there. I need to be able to reach you,' Louis explained. Harry looked from the phone to Louis.

 

'I can't accept it. It's too expensive,' Harry told him. Louis chuckled.

 

'Its a necessity and I can afford it,' Louis told him.

 

'But....' Harry began protesting.

 

'Look,' Louis cut him off. 'Its a gift okay. You need it. I can afford it so just take it,' he told him a little sharply. Harry felt overwhelmed. Louis had given him a gift. But Harry knew better. Harry knew this was payment for his services and a necessary one so Louis could reach him whenever he needed his services

 

'Thank you Sir,' Harry said quietly. Louis smiled.

 

Yes! He accepted it.

 

'You are most welcome,' he told him as he got up off the couch. Harry looked up at him.

 

'You're leaving?' he asked him. Louis fixed his clothes.

 

'Yes. I have other engagements ,' he told him as he walked towards the door. Harry felt his heart drop to the floor.

 

I need to go vent out the frustration you put on me and have a good fuck to release this tension you give me.

 

He stopped with his hand on the door knob and looked back at Harry. 'And Harry? Make sure you answer me when I call you,' Louis told him. Harry gave him a small sad smile.

 

'Yes Sir,' he told him as he watched Louis walk out and close the door behind him. He sat there looking at his brand new iPhone and he felt the tears rim him eyes. He was nothing but a whore to Louis and he knew that soon Louis would want more from him and Harry didn't know if he was ready or not. He had heard the rumors about him in the dressing room. He had heard that Mr. Tomlinson was a heart breaker, a use them and leave them kinda guy and that he only pursued those he wanted until he had sex and then he dumped them, moving on to the next one. Harry felt the tears rim his eyes because he was so so stupid for allowing feelings to develop for Mr. Tomlinson. Before he could cry, his new phone vibrated in his hand. He swiped it and saw that he had a message. He tapped it open.

 

[From Louis]

You were fucking awesome tonight. Thank you for an amazing time. See you soon.

 

And Harry couldn't help the flutter in his heart and the idiotic smile that spread across his face.

 

[From Harry]

I enjoyed it too. Thank you for the phone. See you soon.

 

 

And as soon as Louis read the message from Harry, he smiled like a school kid with a massive crush and instead of going home and fucking one of his boys like he had originally planned, he told Angus to stop him at Regent Park. He got out of the car and walked into the deserted park towards the bench he and Harry had sat on that morning and he sat down, relishing the peace and quiet inside him and the moonlight that shone down on him. Was this the beginning of something new? And for once, his subconscious remained silent


	4. Fall For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter for all you lovely people. A great big thank you to all of you leaving me comments and kudos and for taking the time to read my fic. Hope you like the next chapter. All the love M.

Fall For You.

 

Louis got off the elevator on his floor and whistled to himself as he made his way towards his office. Lynn caught up with him, tablet in her hand.

 

'Good morning Sir,' she told him as she handed him his usual Chai tea with extra cinnamon. Louis took it and smiled at her.

 

'Good morning Lynn. Your hair looks nice today,' he told her in a cheerful voice. Lynn touched her hair and looked at him in confusion. Her hair was the same as always.

 

'Thank you Sir,' she chose to reply. As they entered Louis' office, Louis went to his desk and picked up a small remote control, pressed a button and the blinds on his floor to ceiling windows parted open, revealing a dull grey London morning, with rain pattering softly against the glass.

 

'Lovely day is it not?' Louis asked her with a grin on his face. Lynn furrowed her brow in confusion. Louis hated the rain.

 

'It is Sir,' Lynn told him while trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her boss. Was he seeing things? Hallucinating? Louis sat down in his chair and took a sip of his tea.

 

'So what's on the agenda for today?' he asked her. Lynn tapped her tablet.

 

'At 11:00 am you have a meeting with the head of Abstraction Games regarding the new gaming software you will be introducing soon.' Louis furrowed his brows.

 

'Who are they again?' he asked her. Lynn raised a questioning eyebrow at her boss wondering how he could've forgotten who they were.

 

'They are the developers of Angry Birds Sir,' she informed him.

 

'Ah yes okay. Carry on,' he told her as he looked out the window at the softly falling rain and sighed contentedly.

 

He is making you feel wonderful isn't he?

 

Louis ignored his subconscious and focused on what Lynn was saying.

 

'At 1 pm you have the head of Activision coming in also regarding the new gaming software,' Lynn told him and before he could ask, she continued : 'They are the developers of Call of Duty, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Guitar Heroes amongst others. At 2:30 pm you have Blizzard Entertainment, developers of World of Warcraft. And at 4 pm you have TellTale Games, developers of The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones.' Lynn paused and looked at Louis.

 

'Wow and they are all after my gaming software?'

 

'Yes Sir. Where do you want me to squeeze your lunch in?' she asked him ready to tap in instructions in the day's planner.

 

'Depends how long it takes with Activision. We'll see how long each meeting takes and we'll just squeeze something in between maybe just get me a salad and tea. Is that all Lynn?' Lynn got up, straightening her pencil skirt.

 

'Yes Sir,' she told him. Louis gave her a smile.

 

'Thank you. I'll call if I need you.' Lynn nodded at her dismissal and walked out of the office. As soon as she was out, Louis took out his phone and checked his messages but there was nothing from Harry. He looked at his watch: 10:20 am. Should he text him? What was the protocol of texting someone who had made you come in your pants the night before? Louis got up and paced the length of his office thinking to himself. What was the appropriate text to send the morning after? He never had to text anyone the morning after. In fact he never texted anyone. He had no such close friends that he communicated with them through text messages. He paced some more.

 

Wow for a genius you sure are stupid!

 

Louis wanted his subconscious to shut the fuck up with its snarky remarks. This was no easy feat. He stared at his phone as if it would magically compose a text to Harry and send it off. That would be a handy thing. He took in a deep breath and tapped new message. Here goes nothing.

 

[From Louis]

Good morning.

 

He looked at it for a few seconds, second doubting himself if this was sufficient or if it sounded cheesy. Before he could doubt himself some more he tapped send and watched it go.

 

About fucking time.

 

Louis held the phone in his hand and waited for Harry to text back. But the phone remained silent and Louis felt panic begin to rise in the pit of his stomach. Why didn't he reply back? What was taking him so long to reply to his message? He was getting frustrated. He had clearly told Harry to answer him when he called...and that applied for texting too!

 

Why don't you do something nice for him instead of getting all riled up at him for no reason?

 

Louis mentally flipped his subconscious off but internally admitted that it was right. He scrolled through his contacts and found Adam's number. He tapped it and waited, hearing it ring in his ear.

 

Where the fuck was he?

 

'Hello?' a groggy voice replied.

 

'Took you fucking long enough,' Louis snapped into the phone.

 

'Its 10:30 am Mr. Tomlinson,' Adam replied. 'I don't usually wake up before 4 pm. How may I serve you?' Adam asked him sounding a little annoyed that he was woken up. Not that Louis cared or minded.

 

'Is Harry working tonight?' he asked him straight to the point.

 

'Yes. He has another solo. In fact he has solo's all this week. He's the golden boy of Garland's.'

 

'I need you to cancel him tonight,' Louis told him flatly not impressed that Harry had become the most wanted solo stripper act at Garland's.

 

'Cancel him?' Adam asked him now sounding more alert. 'I can't cancel him. Clients are coming in just to see him.'

 

'Do you think I give a fuck?' Louis growled into the phone. 'Find a replacement.' Adam huffed.

 

'I can't find a replacement for Harry on such short notice.'

 

'The club doesn't open for another 9 hours. You have 9 hours to get one of the other strippers to do his slot.'

 

'They are not Harry! Nobody can replace Harry,' Adam argued. Louis took in a deep breath trying to calm his nerves.

 

'Look I really don' t give a shit. Harry is not working tonight. End of discussion.' Adam himself was trying to keep his patience.

 

'Do you know how much money Harry made us last night? He made us a whole week's worth of what the other strippers make not to mention the tips he made. He was one happy boy so tell me why should I listen to you and cancel Harry?' Adam asked him. Louis scrambled his mind and blurted out the first thing that came into his mouth.

 

'Because I need him.' Immediately he wanted to take the words back. What was Adam going to think?

 

'You need him for what?' Adam asked suddenly curious and Louis wanted to kick himself hard.

 

Nice going. Keep on up with this shit show.

 

'Look, I..I want a private show at my basement okay,' Louis lied. He couldn't give anything about whatever this was that was going on in his head. Besides, Adam knew about his basement activities so.....

 

'Look Mr. Tomlinson, he made us too much money to just send him.....'

 

'I'll pay you what he made yesterday,' Louis told him interrupting him.

 

You are insane.

 

Adam chuckled. 'He made a lot,' he pointed out to Louis. Louis sighed heavily feeling annoyed that Adam won't just accept his offer and shut the fuck up.

 

'Do you think I can't pay you?' Louis asked him pissed off. Adam chuckled again.

 

'Oh no that's not my concern. My concern is why do you want to pay a huge amount of money to have him privately in your basement when you can easily come here and.....'

 

'That is none of your fucking concern. Text me the amount and I'll send you a cheque.'

 

'Okay,' Adam finally said. 'You are the boss. I'll inform Harry....'

 

'Leave it. I'll do it. Like you said I'm the fucking boss.'

 

'Sure thing Mr. Tomlinson.' Louis hung up the phone not wanting to discuss Harry with Adam any further. He knew Adam was suspecting something from his strange behavior but what was there to suspect? He himself didn't even know what all this was about. He looked at his phone. Nothing from Harry yet. Louis felt himself getting agitated. Lynn popped her head in the door.

 

'Your 11 o'clock are here Sir,' she informed him. Louis huffed, stuffed his phone in his pants pocket and followed her to the boardroom where the executives of Abstraction Games were seated. After brief introductions and shaking of hands, the meeting commenced. But Louis was distracted. His mind was why the fuck Harry didn't reply to his message. He decided then that after this meeting was done he would call him and the urge inside him to beat him senseless for defying him was growing. Just then he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his first instinct was to pull it out and check but he couldn't, not in the middle of a business meeting. A fluttering started up in his stomach and he lost all train of thought. His mind just went to his phone. It vibrated again and Louis reckoned that this was his meeting, these people came here to bid and battle for his product. If this company didn't take it, someone else would so to hell with it. He pulled out his phone and looked at the two small envelopes indicating he had two messages. He looked up at his clients.

 

'Excuse me I really need to take this,' he told them.They nodded and Lynn looked at him somewhat weirdly. He swiped his phone and tapped his messages icon and sure enough there were two messages from Harry. His heart lurched as he tapped the first message.

 

[From Harry]

Good morning. Sorry I took a while to reply. I was in a Literature lecture. Boring :( Hope you are well :)

 

Louis smiled to himself and didn't give a shit that probably the people in the room where witnessing this. He tapped the second message.

 

[Form Harry]

Are you mad at me because I didn't reply right away? I'm sorry :(

 

Louis felt bad that Harry thought he was mad at him. Well, he was right to a point but the fact that Harry remembered made Louis feel a little endearment towards him and his anger ebbed. He went to reply.

 

[From Louis]

It's ok. Not mad. I'm in a meeting. I'll call you in 30. Answer.

 

Louis put the phone away and looked at his clients.

 

'So where were we?' he asked them with a smile, all his anxiety having dissolved because Harry had replied.

 

Twenty five minutes later the meeting was over. Louis had told them that he would contact them again after having met with his other clients and as he shook hands with them at the door, he was impatient to get back to his office to call Harry. Once he saw them off at the elevators, he rushed back asking Lynn if she would be a dear and get him a Mocha. As soon as he was safely in his office, he took out his phone and dialed Harry. Harry picked up on the second ring.

 

'Hello Mr. Tomlinson,' Harry replied and Louis could feel Harry's smile even through the phone.

 

''I thought we had agreed on you calling me Louis,' Louis told him, an equal smile on his face.

 

'Louis,' Harry said and Louis smiled wider.

 

'How's your day going?' Louis asked him.

 

'Boring,' Harry replied. 'Have another lecture in 30.'

 

'You education shouldn't be boring,' Louis reprimanded him. Harry chuckled.

 

'Well it kinda is. How's your day going?' He heard Louis sigh heavily. 'That bad?' Harry asked picking up instantly on the way Louis was feeling and Louis secretly liked that, that Harry could just feel what he was feeling.

 

'Just jam packed full of meeting after meeting.'

 

'What are you selling them?' Harry asked curiously.

 

'New gaming software,' Louis told him.

 

'Oh Niall will love that. He's into gaming and stuff.'

 

'Aren't you?' Louis asked him.

 

'Oh no. I don't have the patience for them.'

 

'Oh right cos you're into stripping.' Louis jabbed him and he heard Harry laugh softly and it made him feel things inside.

 

'Actually I'm into books and photography and taking long walks and writing.'

 

'Oh yes that,' Louis told him. 'I forgot you did other things besides strip.' And Harry laughed again.

 

'I take it you liked my show yesterday?' he asked him, his voice going a little lower and a little huskier and straight to Louis' groin.

 

Fuck, this boy is gonna kill me.

 

'I did,' Louis replied, his voice a little hoarse. 'You were amazing. Talking of which, can I take you out to dinner tonight?'

 

'I can't I'm working,' Harry replied and Louis could hint maybe a little disappointment in his voice?

 

Delusional much?

 

'I took the liberty of clearing your work schedule,' Louis told him.

 

'What?' Harry asked him clearly surprised.

 

'I said I cleared your...'

 

'I heard you,' Harry interrupted him. 'Why?'

 

'Because I want to take you to dinner,' Louis defended. He heard Harry sigh.

 

'Louis, I need to work. I need the money and I made a lot yesterday,' Harry explained and Louis wanted to....

 

To what? Provide for him? Take care of his financial status? Give him all that he required? Get him a bigger house? A car? Pay off his tuition?

 

'Harry, I can pay you what you made yesterday don't worry about it. Its just a dinner.' There was a silent pause on Harry's end. 'Harry?'

 

'I don't want you to pay me,' Harry told him quietly. He felt like a cheap whore now. Louis probably wanted to take him to dinner then fuck him after and pay him for it and that saddened Harry to the core. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'Look, its just one night okay. It's no big deal. Please will you go to dinner with me tonight?' he asked him again and Harry had no choice. After all what Mr. Tomlinson wanted, Mr. Tomlinson got.

 

'Okay but on one condition.'

 

'And what is that?' Louis asked smiling to himself happily.

 

'I get to choose the restaurant,' Harry told him and Louis figured that that was a very small and easy condition.

 

'Deal,' he told him. 'Ill be at your place at 8 pm sharp.'

 

'Okay. I'll see you at 8,' Harry told him.

 

'Pay attention in your next lecture if you want to graduate,' Louis scolded him playfully. Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'Yes daddy,' he mocked and Louis felt that word go to his dick again making him hard. He swallowed but his throat had gone too dry and his mouth had gone slack. Daddy? Fuck nobody ever called him that before and why did it make him feel sick to the stomach? Why did it make him feel so small and disgusting? Why did it rouse a deep anger in him? Why did it make him feel disgusted that that word made him hard?

 

'Don't ever ever fucking call me that again. Ever!' Louis told him a little harshly. 'Be ready on time.' He hung up without giving Harry time to reply. He felt a panic attack coming on. He loosened his tie and tried to calm his breathing. Louis gripped his desk with trembling fingers and tried to steady himself, trying not to let the panic attack get out of hand.

 

He doesn't know.

 

Louis closed his eyes tightly shut and tried to fight the images behind his closed eyelids and those memories nearly made him cry out but he choked it all back. He wasn't going to let it get to him. His breathing became uneven, shallow and more rapid and Louis was fairly sure he was having an asthma attack. He hadn't had one of those for a while. He didn't really suffer from asthma in itself. His panic attacks sometimes got too bad that he couldn't breathe so his therapist had prescribed for him an inhaler. Now Louis opened the bottom drawer of his desk and reached for it, inhaling on it deeply and immediately he felt his lungs relax and expand, allowing him to breathe. Slowly he calmed down and his breathing returned some what to normal.

 

Don't blame him. He doesn't know anything.

 

Louis knew his subconscious was right but that didn't stop the panic attack from coming on. It didn't stop him from spiraling into those dark memories where Louis never ventured if he could help it. He just needed to get it out of his system before meeting Harry later tonight. He grabbed his phone and scrolled through his contacts stopping on Ryan. He dialed and waited until on the 3rd ring Ryan answered his phone.

 

'Be at the basement at 6 pm. Not a moment later,' Louis ordered and hung up. It was gonna be a long fucking day.

 

 

X

 

Harry looked at his silent phone and wondered what had happened. Why did Louis hang up on him and told him never to call him daddy again? The men at the club loved it when they were called daddy. Harry wondered if he had stepped out of line with Louis and this confused him because he never knew exactly where he stood with him. Sometimes Louis made him call him by his first name and acted like his friend and at other times he was the strict Mr. Tomlinson who wanted to be called Sir. Harry didn't know who he was supposed to be around him.

 

He tucked away his phone as he didn't want any of his friends to see that he owned a very expensive phone that he definitely couldn't afford. They would ask questions he couldn't answer and besides that, he hated to lie to his friends. He walked towards the building where his next lecture was, his mind worried and confused.

 

The lecture dragged on endlessly though Harry hardly paid any attention to what the professor was saying. His mind was racing with thoughts about Louis and why he had acted the way he did after Harry had called him daddy. Harry was glad when the professor dismissed class a little earlier than usual and he quickly stuffed his things in his bag and made his way out of the building and hurried towards the tube station. He went down the escalators, his mind re-playing this morning's phone call. He hopped onto the tube and lucky for him it wasn't crammed full as it wasn't rush hour yet. He sat down and took out his phone but there was nothing from Louis.

 

When he got off at the station in Paddington, he hurried down Praed Street on towards Edgware Road. He needed to get home and be ready even though it was still early but there was no way he was going to let Louis wait. Adam had drilled it into him that nobody kept Mr. Tomlinson waiting and after having clearly upset him, there was no way Harry was going to be late. When he got to the flat, he was relieved to see that it was empty and that Niall wasn't home. He needed some alone time to think and in all honesty he didn't want to have to tell Niall that he was going on a date. Wait! He stopped himself right there in mid-thought. Was this a date? But Louis had told him that he didn't date so this was definitely not a date. So what was it?

 

Dinner with a client.

 

The thought saddened Harry because deep down he wished that this was a date with Louis. In his mind, Louis was very dateable and dating material but Louis would not date someone like him. Still, in his mind Harry wanted to think that this was a date. It made him feel better about himself if only a little bit. He went into the kitchen and popped a pot noodle into the microwave and turned the kettle on to make a cuppa. As he waited for his food to be done, he couldn't help again but wonder why he had upset Louis so much and he couldn't shake the feeling of fear that settled over him. Harry was scared of Louis. Yes, Louis intimidated him to the point of making him a nervous mess.

 

The microwave dinged, he took out his steaming noodles and poured his tea then took everything into the living room and set them on the coffee table. He decided that while he waited, he might as well make use of this time and write his paper on Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven' to distract his mind. He ate and worked on his paper, refusing to let his mind wander to Louis and he managed to stay focused on his task, so much so that he didn't lift his head from his work until he heard the door to their flat open. His head snapped up as he watched Niall enter their flat.

 

'You're home early,' Harry pointed out. Niall shut the door behind him and threw his keys on the kitchen counter.

 

'What do you mean early? It's 6:20 pm.' Harry's eyes went wide.

 

'Shit!' he exclaimed as he began closing books and stuffing his hand written sheets of paper into his binder. 'I lost track of time. How did I loose track of time?' he muttered to himself as he continued to clear his stuff away.

 

'What are you in a hurry for?' Niall asked him languidly. 'You don't start work until 9 pm.' Harry stopped short. Shit!

 

'I um I'm not um working tonight. I um I'm going out,' he told Niall feeling very flustered. He didn't want anyone to know. Niall looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

'Missing work to go out? Are you going on a date?' he asked him. Harry looked up at him some what startled.

 

'A date? No um no not a date. Um definitely not a date,' he quickly said, his words rushing out of his mouth, giving the first indication that he was lying. For people like Niall who knew Harry as well as he did, when he spoke fast and his words tumbled out, it could only mean one of two things : either he was lying or was trying to hide something. Niall rested his back against the kitchen counter and folded his arms on his chest.

 

'So if you're not missing work for a date, then where are you going on a Wednesday night?' he asked him. Harry huffed. He loved Niall to bits but Niall tended to be a little over protective and nosey.

 

'It's um its just a um dinner w-with a-a client,' Harry stammered.

 

'And since when do you have dinner with clients Harry? A client I'm assuming from Garlands?' Niall questioned him not letting up. Harry sighed in defeat. He couldn't hide things from Niall as hard as he tried but he could bend the truth.

 

'Yes Niall a client from Garlands. Sometimes they just need company outside the club like this particular client,' Harry lied hoping Niall would just drop it but Niall stared him down.

 

'Is this client perhaps the same one that gave you that ridiculously expensive phone right there?' Niall asked pointing at the gold iPhone resting on top of Harry's books. Fuck! Harry looked down and sure enough there was his phone on his books. He had left it out just in case Louis called. He remained silent and just looked up at Niall. Niall walked over to him.

 

'Harry what are you doing?' he asked, his voice full of concern.

 

'Nothing,' Harry whined out.

 

'Nothing? Nobody gives out those kind of phones for nothing. You strip at that place and do lap dances and a client gives you a phone and now he's taking you out to dinner?' Harry looked at Niall.

 

'What are you implying Niall?' Harry asked him. Niall took in a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

 

'You're not doing anything illegal are you?' Harry knew where he was going with this.

 

'You mean like being a prostitute?' Harry asked him and when Niall remained silent Harry knew that that was where his mind had gone to and to be honest he felt a little offended and hurt that his best mate would think this about him.

 

'No Niall its nothing like that. I wouldn't....' but he stopped right there because he had done sexual things with Louis. Instead he told him : 'I'm still a virgin so I'm not having sex with clients if that's what you're implying.'

 

Partial truth! Said client did make you come twice!

 

'I'm just worried about you Haz. I never wanted you to get that job in the first place and the reason I agreed is that Zayn promised to look out for you but I don't think he is,' Niall told him sounding worried. Harry began to feel nervous because if Niall talked to Zayn, Zayn would find out who the client was for sure.

 

'Look Niall I promise there's nothing going on okay. You don't need to worry and please don't tell Zayn anything. I don't want to get fired. I need this job. You can trust me.' Harry pleaded with him. Niall looked at him for a while as if contemplating what to do then he sighed.

 

'Alright I won't tell him anything and I do trust you Harry. It's those guys that come to the club to see you that I don't trust. You're a kind naïve boy Harry and I don't want anyone taking advantage of you.' Harry felt overwhelmed by Niall's love and care for him and he just hugged his friend tightly to his chest.

 

'Thank you Ni. I'll be careful don't worry. I'm not stupid.' He pulled back and gave him a smile. 'I have to shower. Shit I don't know what I'm going to wear yet,' Harry told him as he walked towards their small bathroom undressing as he went. He got into the shower and Niall sat on the closed toilet.

 

'Is it casual or formal?' Niall asked him.

 

'Casual,' Harry replied from under the shower.

 

'So I'm assuming he's rich since he got you an iPhone 7 just for fun?' Niall pressed. Harry chuckled.

 

'He's loaded.'

 

'A sugar daddy huh?' Niall teased. Harry poked his head out of the shower, his hair full of shampoo.

 

'Niall! He is not my sugar daddy! What the hell?' Niall laughed and raised both his hands in surrender.

 

'I was messing with you jeez. Sensitive much? So where is he taking you?' Niall asked.

 

'I get to choose since he took me to an expensive.......' Harry shut up immediately cursing his big mouth. Niall got up off the toilet as if electrocuted and pulled the shower curtain open exposing a wet and naked Harry.

 

'He already took you out before? So this is like a second date?' Harry tried to pull the curtain free from Niall's grasp but Niall wasn't having it. 'When did this happen? Harry you need to start talking. Do you like like him? Like... like him like him as in the way you would like a boyfriend? Harry who is he?' Harry took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

 

'Let me finish my shower and I'll tell you,' he told him quietly. Niall let the curtain go.

 

'Fine. I'll make tea,' he told him as he walked out of the bathroom.

 

When Harry went to his bedroom to get changed with a towel around his waist and one around his head, he found Niall sitting on his bed, two cups of hot tea on the desk.

 

'Right spill boyo,' Niall told him right away. Harry nodded and opened his wardrobe with his few clothes hanging in there. There wasn't much to tell him really. He rummaged through his shirts trying to find the most decent looking one.

 

'Its Louis Tomlinson,' he told him quietly.

 

'What?' Niall shrieked nearly choking on his tea. 'The fucking CEO of TGE?' Harry nodded as he pulled out a black sheer shirt, surveying it and trying to decide if it was good enough.

 

'Yeah,' Harry told him. Niall was lost for words.

 

'How? When?' Harry sighed and as he continued to go through his clothes to figure out what to wear he told Niall about Louis, making sure to keep out the intimate parts.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis stood in front of his full length mirror and admired himself dressed in his royal blue Vivienne Westwood suit. He wore a white shirt underneath but no tie. He didn't want to be too formal so he went for an open neck shirt. After his time with Ryan in the basement, he felt better, more relaxed. Ryan was his favorite boy. He always took what Louis gave him though Louis knew their limits. It was true that he never gave them a safe word but he never exceeded his limits or theirs. They were familiar with the belts by now. They were acquainted with them. They knew he hardly ever went over 20 hits and they knew he only used the belts and cuffs and nothing more. They also knew that he would fuck them hard after he beat them with the belt. They knew all this when they signed their NDA's. They were free to decline anytime they wanted to. Louis was not a savage sadist. He paid them well for their services and had Jarvis look after them when he was done with them and they never complained. After all some welts and a very sore butt healed and they were being paid handsomely for it! Win win for both parties.

 

Louis looked at his watch. 7:30 pm. Soon. He felt that fluttering again and it excited him. Harry had agreed to come to dinner with him even though he had put a condition on him, something nobody had ever laid down on him or even dared to but he let the boy have his condition. Louis looked at his reflection again and liked what he saw. He had styled his hair into a neat quiff but didn't shave the day's stubble. He quite liked it but couldn't keep it for the office. When he was sure everything about him was perfect, he headed downstairs looking for Angus but met Leonard, his personal assistant in the hallway downstairs.

 

'Sir, Angus told me to inform you that he will be bringing the car round in 5 minutes. Might I get you a drink while you wait?' Louis gave him a small smile. He liked Leonard. He was the best personal assistant that he could ever hope for. He helped Louis with out of the office activities and errands and kept him up to date with his social calendar.

 

'Thank you Leonard that would be nice,' Louis told him as he followed Leonard into his huge living room. Leonard went to the drinks cabinet and poured Louis a stiff Jamesons while Louis stood before the fireplace, with its nice fire warming the room. He sipped the whiskey slowly.

 

'Will you be needing anything else Sir?' Leonard asked him but Louis shook his head.

 

'That will be all for tonight thank you,' he told him, dismissing him. Leonard left the room and shortly after, Angus informed him that the car was up front waiting for him. Louis followed him out and into the car, giving Angus directions to Harry's flat. His anger at Harry had all but subsided and now he was anxious to see him, wondering which hotel or restaurant Harry had chosen for their dinner tonight. As Angus drove him through the dark and wet streets of London, Louis took out his phone and text Harry.

 

[From Louis]

On the way.

 

He hit send and almost immediately a text came in from Harry.

 

[From Harry]

I'm ready.

 

Louis smiled to himself and tried to relax but as soon as Angus turned onto Edgware Road, his nervous system went crazy. He rubbed his hands together, a gesture he did when nervous and tried to calm himself down reminding himself that it was only Harry. The car stopped in front of the building and Angus got out to open the door for Louis. As Louis stepped out on to the pavement, Harry exited his building and for a moment they stood staring at each other. Louis felt his breath catch when he saw Harry emerging dressed in black skinny jeans, a black sheer shirt open almost all the way revealing his tattoos and a black blazer over the shirt. His hair was down about his shoulders and Louis could swear he felt his knees buckle.

 

Steady!

 

Harry looked at him like a deer begging the lion not to eat it, trying to gauge Louis' mood. Was Louis still angry with him? Cautiously, he walked towards Louis and stopped a few paces away from him, taking in his magnificent self in that royal blue suit and the fact that for the first time since they had met, Louis wasn't wearing a tie.

 

'Hi,' Louis told him, clearing his throat because his voice sounded a little whiney.

 

You are so whipped.

 

Harry smiled at him, relieved to see that Louis was not mad at him.

 

'Hi yourself,' Harry replied flashing his dimples at Louis. Louis kept staring at Harry not knowing what to say until Harry cleared his throat to get his attention. Louis felt flustered that he had been caught staring so he turned towards the car and motioned for Harry. 

 

'Shall we?' he told him.

 

'We won't be needing the car,' Harry told him and Louis looked at him puzzled.

 

'We won't?' he asked and Harry shook his head.

 

'You can tell your driver to go home,' Harry told him and Louis though confused, shrugged and told Angus to go home and that he will call him when he needed him. When Angus was gone, Harry began walking and Louis fell in step with him. They walked in silence, Louis wondering where the hell Harry was taking him. This was so out of the ordinary for him. He never walked anywhere and if he did walk, he'd have Calvin with him. He felt exposed. Harry turned on to Praed Street and Louis had to hurry to keep up with his long strides.

 

'Do we have much farther to go?' Louis asked him trying to keep up with Harry. The boy's legs were far too long to keep up with!

 

'Not much,' Harry told him.

 

'Where are we even going?' Louis asked him trying to think of what hotels or restaurants where around here that Harry could have possible chosen. Harry stopped at the traffic lights in front of the Burger King and Louis hoped to God that he was not taking him in there.

 

'Across the street,' Harry told him being a little shit. Louis looked across the street and his stomach fell as soon as he saw McDonalds. There was no way in fucking hell he was having dinner in there not even if Harry begged on his knees. On second thoughts......

 

The light turned to green and the traffic stopped so they crossed over to the other side and Harry headed over to Garfunkel's on the corner across from Paddington Tube Station. Louis sighed. Well at least it wasn't McDonald's. It wasn't the beautiful restaurant and wine bar at the Hilton but Harry could've chosen worse.

 

Inside was nice and cozy and not too crowded. The lights were dimmed down and the atmosphere was relaxed. A waitress came to greet them at the door.

 

'Table for two?' she asked them with a smile. Harry returned it and asked her if it was possible to have a booth. She told them to follow her and led them to the side of the restaurant and into a booth that seated four. Harry thanked her and they slid onto the leather seats facing each other.

 

'Do you like it?' Harry asked him suddenly feeling a little self conscious about choosing this place for Louis. He was definitely not used to this kind of restaurant. Louis shrugged.

 

'Its okay I guess. I thought you would've chose something...classier,' he told him as the waitress came back and placed two menus in front of them.

 

'Can I take your drink order?' she asked. Harry was quick to order a glass of white wine and Louis, seeing nothing on the menu that was familiar to him (after all the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu was only 25 pounds) he ordered the same as Harry. When she left they looked at the menu.

 

'There's nothing expensive here,' Louis pointed out as if that was a crime. Harry chuckled.

 

'That was the whole point of coming here,' he told him still scanning the menu. Louis looked up from his menu, his brow furrowed in confusion.

 

'And what exactly is the point you are trying to make here?' he asked him playfully. Harry put the menu down and smiled at him.

 

'I brought you somewhere I can afford to buy you dinner. I know you are not used to this. I know this is not you but its me. Its my side of life and I can't afford to take you to the places you are used to but I can buy you dinner anyway,' Harry told him, his face innocent. Louis felt his chest expand and that funny feeling start up beneath his sternum. So Harry had brought him here to pay dinner for him! That was hands down the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for him! He was so consumed with being in control of always having each situation under his control that this....this felt...

 

Nice? Different? Like a date?

 

Louis went back to the menu because he didn't know what to say to that. He only cleared his throat and said : 'This is not a date.' Harry smiled into the menu.

 

'I know. I know you don't date. It's just a business dinner okay?' Louis looked at him over the menu.

 

'Yeah a business dinner.'

 

Dinner was easy. They ordered their food and talked. Louis felt more relaxed and he had to admit that this place was relaxing. He asked Harry a lot of questions about his studies and life when he was little. Louis on the other hand only talked about his work. He never ventured into his private life, past or present and Harry didn't push but he was eager to talk about himself especially about his mum who Louis learned that Harry loved dearly and missed terribly. At one point while he was telling Louis how he took care of her during her chemo and final days, a stray tear rolled down his face which he quickly wiped away but which Louis didn't miss and which made Louis want to hold him so badly.

 

Where is this coming from? You never hold anyone.

 

Louis didn't knew where the hell it was coming from but it was there, in every fiber of his being, a desire he never had before but so desperately felt now. As he watched the boy in front of him talk, those plump pink lips moving with his slow drawl, gesticulating with those big hands of his and chewing on his vegetarian pizza as he sipped his wine, Louis' mind began to drift to possibilities. To what ifs. His mind began to wonder to many scenarios where all of them included Harry and it scared him. Louis never needed anybody. Louis always made it on his own. Louis had always kept himself unattached from people because you cannot reply on people. Because people use you and leave you. Because if you let them in, they will tear you up in pieces and leave you to die amidst the ashes of a trashed and burned heart. Louis never allowed anyone in close enough to burn him with their touch but this boy sitting across from him, was setting him on fire, opening doors that Louis had never dreamed possible of opening.

 

Harry had stopped talking and Louis focused on him. He was really beautiful and innocent and Louis wanted that. But what had he to give to Harry? His life was a dark mess. His darkness would be too much for this innocent boy and it would swallow him whole and corrupt him. He wasn't ready to share his life, his past...he didn't even know how to let anyone else in. He wasn't ready to lose control. He wasn't ready to let Harry take any control over him.

 

Newsflash! He already has!

 

'Louis did you hear what I said?' Harry's voice brought Louis out of his torturous thoughts and back to the quiet little restaurant on the corner, in the booth he was sharing with this boy who earned a living as a stripper in his club.

 

'Sorry,' Louis told him with a smile. 'I was just thinking.' He watched Harry try not to look disappointed that Louis wasn't paying attention to him as he looked down at his half eaten pizza.

 

'You're not enjoying this are you?' Harry asked him quietly. He should've known better than to bring the CEO of TGE, a multi-billionaire to this stupid restaurant with a cheap menu. Louis was probably bored out of his senses, disgusted by the cheap food and was counting the minutes till he got out of here and returned to his glamorous life but Harry was surprised when he felt Louis' hand cover his and squeeze it gently.

 

'Trust me Harry, I haven't had this much fun in ages.This is different for me but different in a good way,' Louis told him and he was rewarded with a beautiful smile as it spread on Harry's face, popping out his dimples which Louis wanted to poke at really badly but didn't feel it was appropriate.

 

'Really?' Harry asked him.

 

'Really really,' Louis assured him. 'Now tell me what you said that I didn't hear.' Harry returned to his jolly self.

 

'I asked you if you wanted dessert?' Louis quirked an eyebrow at him.

 

'Hmm buying me dessert too huh? I feel so spoiled,' he told him. Harry's face went a little serious as he looked up at Louis through his eyelashes.

 

'You should be spoiled,' Harry told him in a quiet voice, 'but I don't have much to spoil you with. I mean, what can I give a person that has everything?' Louis felt those words stab right through his heart.

 

Oh trust me you are giving me so much.

 

Louis squeezed his hand again. 'Harry, as a person that has everything I could ever dream of wanting, I have learned that there are things that money just cannot buy. I have all the money in the world but all this money cannot buy love, respect, honesty or loyalty. People love me for what I am not who I am. They mostly fear me and that's why they respect me and are loyal to me. Trust me when I say that what you are giving me tonight is one of those things that all the money in the world just cannot buy and yes you are spoiling me, so don't ever doubt yourself.' Harry gave him another blinding smile.

 

'Well the night is not over yet. I have more in store for you,' he told him excitedly. Louis leaned back, pulling his hand away from Harry.

 

'Okay then. Why don't you get us dessert because I'm curious to see what you have in store for me.' Harry ordered them both raspberry cheesecake and Louis complimented him on the excellent choice. When they finished, Harry called the waitress over to get them the bill which she did without delay. They were the only two left in the restaurant and the poor soul probably wanted to close up and go home. Harry pulled out his wallet.

 

'Harry,' Louis told him softly, 'let me pay. Please.' Harry gave him a smile.

 

'I can afford this. I made a lot from my solo strip show,' he told him giving him a wink. Why did it irritate Louis so much that Harry was paying for their dinner with money other men had stuffed in his thong? Still, Louis smiled at him.

 

'Okay but I'm leaving the tip,' he said and Harry nodded. Harry placed 50 pounds in the black leather case then Louis fished out his wallet and left a 100 pound tip. Harry looked at him with his mouth open.

 

'You can't leave a tip bigger than the bill!' he protested. Louis shrugged.

 

'I'm Louis Tomlinson watch me,' he told him with a smirk on his face.

 

'But...' Harry began protesting but Louis put his hand up stopping him.

 

'Harry, look at that waitress. She's miserable. She's probably been here on a shift that's over 8 hours. She looks tired as fuck. How about we make her night huh? Its no big deal.' Harry looked at him with adoration in his eyes.

 

'You are too kind,' Harry said softly. Louis shrugged again.

 

'I just help out wherever I can,' he told him as he deposited the money along with Harry's and got up. 'Come on then. I believe you have more in store for me?' Harry smiled, nodding his head. He got up and together they walked outside. It was cold but thankfully not raining.

 

'Where to?' Louis asked him. 'Shall I call Angus to drive us?' Harry looked at him with mischief in his eyes and smiled a lopsided grin.

 

'Nope. We are taking the tube.' Louis' eyes went wide.

 

'You are making me take the fucking tube when I have a perfectly good chauffeur and a classic Bentley at my disposal?' he asked him horrified. Harry laughed.

 

'Yes I am making you take the tube,' Harry told him amused at Louis' horror. Louis scowled at him.

 

'You bastard! You're enjoying this aren't you, you little shit?' Louis told him playfully.

 

'Very much so,' Harry told him still laughing. 'Now come on we have to get you an oyster card.'

 

'A what?' Louis asked him. Harry huffed patiently.

 

'You need an oyster card to travel on the tube with,' Harry explained with the patience you give while explaining something to a child. 'Now come on.' They crossed the street towards the entrance to the tube. Louis stopped at the entrance just beneath the sign that said Paddington and looked down the steep stairs leading into the underground station as hot air wafted up right into his face.

 

'I can't fucking believe I'm letting you take me on the tube,' Louis said. 'It's suffocating and its claustrophobic down there.' Harry smiled at him and reached out as if to take his hand but then thought better of it and dropped his hand.

 

'Its not that bad. Now c'mon and see how the other half lives.' Louis rolled his eyes but followed Harry down the stairs into the tube where Harry went to a machine and started pressing buttons and putting coins in. Louis looked around. The tube was almost empty. He walked over to the underground map and he looked at it, at all the colored lines of the railways intersecting each other. He had no fucking idea how it even worked. Harry came back and waved a blue card in front of Louis' face.

 

'There you go Mr. Tomlinson, your very own oyster card. Shall we?' Harry asked him indicating towards the escalators. Louis watched as Harry placed his card on the machine to allow them entrance and he did the same. Once he was through, they walked towards the escalators and began descending. Harry looked at Louis who had a serious face and wondered if he had done the right thing doing this. Did he make him feel uneasy or uncomfortable making him travel on the tube?

 

'Are you okay?' Harry asked him concern oozing out of his voice. Louis looked down at him.

 

'I'm fine. This is just new,' he told Harry giving him as mile.

 

'I'm sorry if I made you.....' but Louis reached out and very gently touched his cheek for a brief second before pulling his hand away.

 

'Its okay Harry. I'm actually enjoying this.' Harry doubted it but he was pleased that Louis was putting an effort. Once they reached the bottom they made their way to the platform and waited. 'So where are you taking me?' Louis asked him curiously. Harry fidgeted nervously with his fingers because now he began doubting this whole evening.

 

'To um to a um a bar near the um London Bridge,' he told him unsure. Louis smiled.

 

'Tower Bridge,' he corrected him. 'Many people call it the London Bridge but its actually the Tower Bridge. Lovely. I could do with a drink or two.' Just then the train rumbled noisily into the station with a whoosh of wind as the voice on the intercom informed people to "mind the gap please" and Louis wondered how thousands of people did this every day, this noisy, claustrophobic piece of machinery that traveled so fast in the tunnels beneath London. When the train stopped they got on and Louis surveyed the train as he sat down next to Harry. Only a few people were on board : an elderly couple, a mother with a stroller and two kids, a clump of teenagers who were being rather noisy, a man in a suit engrossed in his newspaper and a girl that looked like she had stepped out of a horror movie. Louis had to admit that he felt uncomfortable and out of his element but Harry was showing him his life, how he lived. And Harry was beside him so it was all good.

 

After changing tubes and taking another train, they finally got off at London Bridge tube station. Harry was mostly silent as he felt like an idiot for thinking Louis might enjoy this evening even though he had reassured him that he was actually enjoying it. Once they stepped outside into the chilly London night, Louis inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

 

'Where to now?' he asked him. Harry looked at him not even sure if he actually wanted to take him anywhere else but Louis looked relaxed and in an agreeable mood.

 

'There's um a bar not um a pub,' he told Louis quickly figuring that Louis was not a pub person but more of a wine bar kinda guy. 'It's um down here not too um far away. My friend he um is a bar tender there.' Louis smiled at him, a fond smile because Harry looked flustered.

 

'Relax. I'm enjoying myself. You are giving me many firsts so you should be happy. There are not many firsts left for me but tonight you are making a whole lot of firsts for me. Lead the way.' Harry felt himself relax a little and began walking towards the bar with Louis keeping up step beside him. When they arrived, Louis was impressed with the place. It was quiet with soft music playing in the background, dim lights and comfortable arm chairs. As soon as they were inside, Harry's friend greeted them.

 

'Hey Harry,' the ginger guy told him and immediately Louis stiffened as he looked the guy up and down. Ginger hair, ginger beard, heavily tattooed, nice eyes and cute smile.

 

Put your jealousy away. It doesn't become you.

 

Harry smiled at the guy while they walked towards him.

 

'Hey Ed how's it going?' Ed smiled at him.

 

'Good mate. What about you? Long time no see.' Harry gave him his dimpled smile and Louis stuffed his fisted hands in his suit pants.

 

That smile is not exclusively yours you know.

 

'I'm good,' Harry replied casually. 'Busy with studies and work.' Ed nodded.

 

'But you did take next Monday off right? It is your 20th birthday and we are going to celebrate. Niall has been making plans so you better be up for a night of food and booze.' Louis stiffened besides Harry. Next Monday was his birthday? And how did he not know this? Harry was turning 20 in five days and he did not know this. Why?

 

Because you are just his boss. You are his job. Not a close friend.

 

Louis was lost in thought about it being Harry's birthday and how it made him feel pissed off that he did not know this. Or was a part of it.

 

You've known him for a little over 3 weeks. What makes you think you are so important and valuable in his life that he would want to share his birthday with you?

 

Harry's voice brought him round and he found both Harry and Ed looking at him.

 

'Louis this is Ed, a long time friend of mine. Ed this is...um this is ugh...'

 

'Louis. Louis Tomlinson his boss,' Louis interrupted Harry as he held out his hand and shook it with Ed. Ed looked a little confused from Louis to Harry. He could tell the age and class difference between them right away. It screamed and flashed in neon lights. Not that any of that mattered but it was...weird. What was Harry doing with this guy? He wasn't his type or in his league. Louis, who was good at reading people and detecting thoughts, told him: 'We are out on a business meeting.' Ed nodded at him but couldn't help to notice the look on Harry's face. A look that screamed hurt and disappointed. Being a bar tender, Ed had learned all about people and there was something more here than what was being let on.

 

'You okay Haz?' Ed asked him and Harry gave him a weak smile.

 

'Yeah I'm fine Ed. We're gonna sit at a table yeah.' Ed nodded.

 

'I'll send Luke over to get your orders.' He watched as Harry walked beside Louis to a table at the back of the bar. They sat down and Luke came over to get their orders. Louis noticed that Harry had gone quiet and was sitting looking at his lap and fidgeting with his fingers.

 

You upset him.

 

'Harry,' Louis said softly, 'did I do something wrong? Was I wrong to introduce myself to your friend as your boss?' Louis hated to doubt himself. He was always so concrete in his actions but around Harry he just didn't know what to do. He second guessed himself and he hated that! Harry looked at him and Louis could see that he was sad, that the smile on his face didn't reach his eyes and it made him nervous that he knew and noticed these things about Harry.

 

'No,' he said softly, 'you are my boss after all Mr. Tomlinson.' Louis huffed out a breath.

 

'I thought we had established it that you will call me Louis,' he told him. Harry chewed on his bottom lip.

 

'If this is a business meeting then I should call you accordingly,' Harry replied.

 

'Harry this is not a business meeting for fucks sake,' Louis snapped and he saw Harry flinch. 'Look,' Louis told him more calmly, 'this can be whatever you want it to be okay.' Harry looked him deep in the eyes and Louis felt a shift inside him, like his heart was falling through his stomach.

 

'It can't be what I want it to be because you don't date,' Harry told him, his voice low. Louis looked at him stunned. He wants to date me?

 

God you are so thick. It's so obvious that he does but you're not good for the boy. You'll just ruin an innocent boy.

 

Louis ran a hand through his hair. 'No. I don't!' he told him not wanting to give Harry any false hopes because his subconscious was right. He wasn't good for Harry. He was probably intrigued because the boy was a virgin, innocent and pure and Louis had never had that. Just then Luke came over and placed the drinks in front of them and left.

 

'Its okay,' Harry told him. 'I get it. I know what you want from me and you can have what you want Sir......'

 

'Cut it the fuck out Harry!' Louis snapped at him again. He felt the anger begin to spike in him.

 

Tell him something. Reassure the boy.

 

'Look, I don't want to fuck you okay. Well maybe I do but that's not the point here. I like spending time with you. I like talking with you. I don't have anybody in my life like you so can't we just enjoy it for what it is? No strings attached? No labels on it? Can't we just...be?' Louis asked him his voice pleading. Harry smiled at him.

 

'We can be whatever you wish us to be.'

 

'Fuck Harry!!' Louis hissed. 'Its not about what I want only. I want you to want it too. I want you to just...just...fuck!'

 

Tell him you just want him to be with you. Tell him.

 

Harry reached out tentatively and placed his hand on Louis' thigh under the table. 'I want it too,' he told him and Louis let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. God this boy could make him sweat buckets and have anxiety fits. Louis took a sip of his whiskey.

 

'Thank you,' he told him, all anger in him dissipating. It wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to express his emotions or even understand what he was feeling and put it into words or actions. This was new. They had a couple of more drinks and when they began to feel a tad bit tipsy, they decided to leave.

 

'Where are you taking me next?' Louis asked Harry with a fond smile.

 

'For a walk,' Harry told him. They began walking amidst the other bars and cafes until they emerged in front of the London Bridge all lit up. It was a lovely sight and they stood for a moment looking at it.

 

'Its beautiful,' Louis told him. 'Been ages since I actually had time to appreciate anything besides the view outside my office window which is not a big deal compared to this.' Just then it began to lift to allow a vessel through.

 

'Look,' Harry told him pointing to it, 'its lifting up. And we get to see it. They say if you witness the bridge opening up you get good luck.' Louis looked at Harry's profile as he looked at the bridge.

 

'I don't think I need any more good luck then I already got,' he told him, his voice low. Harry turned to face him and when he did, Louis didn't hesitate. He moved closer and placed his lips to Harry's. For a moment Harry stood stock still but when he felt Louis' lips move on his, he kissed him back. At first it was just a simple kiss, just lips but Louis wanted more. He needed more. He let his tongue touch Harry's lower lip to see if he was allowed and Harry was quick to allow him entrance. Louis deepened the kiss, his tongue tasting Harry, still a trace of the bacardi and coke he had been drinking. The kiss was deep but slow and languid and they found themselves moving even closer, one of Louis' hands reaching to grab a fistful of Harry's curls and one of Harry's hands on Louis' waist, his long fingers digging into the skin above the waistband of Louis' suit pants. Just as the kiss started to heat up, Louis pulled back. He searched Harry's face for any sign that might tell him if this was okay or that maybe he had overstepped some invisible boundary line but all he saw were a pair of green eyes shining and red lips smiling down at him. Louis had never kissed anyone like that before and he liked it. He couldn't imagine kissing any of his boys like this. It was only Harry. Just Harry.

 

You're falling.

 

Harry cleared his throat to get Louis' attention and Louis gave it to him unconditionally.

 

'Would you um like want to come over to my flat for a cup of coffee? I think we um both need it after all those drinks,' Harry offered.

 

'What about your flat mate? Wouldn't you have to explain me to him?' Louis asked him.

 

'He won't be back tonight. He's been seeing Emily for the past couple of weeks and sometimes he stays over at her place. Like today.' Louis nodded.

 

'Okay yeah I could do with a coffee to sober up,' he told him. 'But we are taking a taxi not the damn fucking tube again.' Harry laughed.

 

'You didn't like it huh?'

 

'Fuck no!' Louis told him as they began walking towards the road. Harry decided to test waters and he slipped his hand inside Louis'. What was the worst that could happen? Louis would yell at him and tell him not to touch him. But he didn't. He only closed his fingers round Harry's hand and held it gently.

 

It wasn't hard to get a taxi at nearly midnight on a Wednesday night and after a 15 minute ride, Harry was unlocking the door to his small flat. Luckily, Niall hadn't left a mess behind him and the flat was fairly clean. Harry turned on the kitchen light as Louis walked into the small living room and took off his suit jacket, throwing it on the back of the sofa. Harry put the kettle on and while it boiled, he went about lightening a few scented candles.

 

'Hmm they smell nice,' Louis complimented and Harry smiled.

 

'I can't live without my candles,' he told him. 'Or my vinyls.'

 

'You collect vinyls?' Louis asked him, his interest spiking. Harry nodded towards a small unit in the back of the room wedged near the window and the radiator which held a small collection of vinyls. Louis got up and crouched down viewing his collection. Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Rod Stewart, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Queen, Journey and Eagles.

 

'You have a fine collection here,' Louis told him impressed as he got up. 'Can I put one on?'

 

'Sure,' Harry told him from the kitchen. He pulled out Crystal Visions by Stevie Nicks and soon the beautiful sounds of 'Edge of Seventeen' filled the tiny apartment. Harry came back with two mugs of coffee and placed them on the coffee table.

 

'Nice choice,' he told Louis as he sat down next to him. It became a little awkward both of them sitting next to each other, thighs touching, listening to Stevie Nicks. They both couldn't deny the pull they felt for each other, it was like a magnet pulling them to each other and they could do nothing against the force of it. It was Louis who again turned to look at Harry, his eyes going from Harry's lips to his eyes back to his lips again.

 

'I'm going to kiss you again.' Louis forewarned him but didn't give Harry time to say yes or no because he attached his lips to Harry's, plunging his tongue into Harry's mouth and tasting him again. He could feel his whole body burning, his dick growing in his pants. Harry placed a hand behind Louis' neck and pulled him in closer and deeper, their tongues clashing together hungrily. Louis threw caution to the wind and he began fumbling with the buttons of Harry's shirt and Harry let him. Soon the shirt was off him and Harry was on his back on the couch and Louis on top of him, lying between his open legs.

 

Louis continued to kiss him hungrily and lick into his mouth as his hand roamed Harry's torso, Louis' deft fingers brushing over Harry's already hard nipples and when Harry moaned into his mouth at the sensation, Louis pinched the perky nub between his thumb and index finger, making Harry moan louder and arch his back off the couch.

 

He's a virgin! Go easy. You don't even know what to do with a virgin.

 

Louis wasn't listening. He was lost in these new sensations. He never done this before. He never had or gave any foreplay. He never made love to anyone. He never prepped any of his boys. He just fucked. He just plunged in, came and got out. He never gave. He only took. Yet with Harry he wanted to try. He wanted to give him. He wanted to please him and feel him. And felt him he did as soon as Harry bucked up his hips, rubbing his hard cock against Louis' own hard dick and on impulse, Louis ground down on him and the feeling was wonderful, too new, too hot. The picked up a rhythm just rutting against each other and breathing into each others open mouths, enjoying the feeling each others body was giving them.

 

'C-can I t-take o-off my jeans?' Harry asked him breathlessly and Louis simply nodded, getting off him for two seconds just till Harry got his jeans off. Louis however remained clothed.

 

Think about this. He's new to this. He's a virgin. Don't just do this to him because you're horny.

 

Louis' mind just went blank the moment Harry resumed his position beneath him in just those tiny boxers of his. Louis could feel every inch of Harry's body pressed against him and the urge to fuck him senseless was growing within him. Harry seemed to read his mind.

 

'You can if you want to,' he whispered as Louis kissed along his jaw and neck. Louis raised his head and looked into his green eyes.

 

'You don't want to trust me with this Harry,' he told him his voice a hoarse warning. He was telling him the truth hoping to discourage him enough that Harry would have the courage to stop this before Louis lost all his control.

 

'I do want to,' Harry told him bucking up his hips up against Louis' erection. Louis hissed at the contact.

 

'Harry,' Louis moaned out a breathless protest. Harry took Louis' hand and guided it between his legs. Louis cupped Harry's erection, feeling how big and hard he was through the thin material of the tight boxers

 

'I want you. Please,' Harry begged him and Louis was so close to loosing his resolve. Harry rutted against his hand and placed kisses along his neck. 'Please Sir,' he whispered against his skin. Louis closed his eyes tightly shut fighting a personal internal battle. He could fuck him here, now and then leave and move on with his life or he could get up, walk out the door and do the right thing by Harry. He could choose to think with his dick or with his head.

 

Or with your heart perhaps?

 

Harry was not just another boy to use and throw away, to fuck and move on from. Deep down Louis knew he was special and he knew he was feeling something for him. He couldn't just fuck him and leave him, use him like the others. That would break Harry and it would break him too.

 

You are in too deep.

 

Louis got up off of Harry abruptly and looked at his startled face.

 

'I can't do this. I just can't fucking do this,' he snapped at him. Harry sat up feeling exposed and embarrassed.

 

'Am I not good enough for you?' he asked him in a broken voice.

 

Better hurt him with the truth then deceive him with a lie.

 

'I'm just not cut of for this shit Harry. This...this is all too confusing for me. I just can't. I have to go.' And without another word, Louis turned and walked out of the apartment slamming the door hard behind him leaving a half naked Harry in tears.

 

As Louis stomped down the stairs, he pulled out his phone and called Angus to come and pick him up. He pushed the front door open and was glad for the cold night air that hit him and filled his lungs. He realized then that he had left his suit jacket upstairs but there was no way he was going back up for it. The jacket be damned. His body ached in ways it never ached before. It craved something it never craved before and it desired something it had never desired before. He ached, craved and desired Harry. For the first time in his life, he wanted something he could never have. The thought scared him yet it gave him something that he had never felt before : hope.

 

On that deserted street while Louis waited to be picked up, he looked up at the night sky and wondered if he could dare to hope to give flight to what he was feeling.


	5. On A Whole New Level

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you who are reading this fic of mine and leaving me comments and kudos. You're awesome.  
> All the love   
> M.

On A Whole New Level.

 

Louis woke up in a sour mood. It was much more than sour actually. It was bad. One of those moods where Louis prayed that no one would get in his way and save him from having to go to jail for unpremeditated murder. Not even this morning's gym session, which included a round of kick boxing had done anything to relieve his mood. He felt irritated and frustrated and annoyed with everything and everyone.

 

He made his way into the kitchen and found Leonard having a cup of tea with Mrs. Davis.

 

'Good morning Sir,' Leonard told him, picking up instantly on his boss' mood. 'I got your mail and newspapers.' Louis didn't reply. He just nodded at him and slid on a stool at the breakfast bar.

 

'Breakfast?' Mrs. Davis asked him noticing the scowl on his face and the deep furrowed lines between his eyebrows.

 

'Just coffee,' he said. Leonard and Mrs. Davis exchanged a knowing look. They had seen plenty of these moods and were accustomed to them by now. Leonard cleared his throat to get his attention.

 

'Sir there is an issue I need to speak to you about,' Leonard told him, treading carefully. He really didn't want to lose his job or end up decapitated. Louis kept going through his mail.

 

'Can't it wait?' he snapped at him. Leonard took a deep breath.

 

'I am afraid it cannot Sir. It's regarding this,' Leonard told him as he handed him a copy of The Sun which Louis snatched from his hands. He looked at the front of the newspaper and his eyes went wide and his frustration and annoyance sky rocketed.

 

'What the fuck?' he yelled as the looked at the bold headlines staring him in the face as if mocking him. "Multi Billionare Louis Tomlinson on a romantic night stroll with mystery brunette." It was above a grainy picture of him and Harry last night walking hand in hand by the Tower Bridge. The full story was splashed on Page 8 where it said how the most elusive bachelor Louis Tomlinson had found love with the mystery brunette as they took a midnight stroll by the Tower Bridge where they exchanged a passionate kiss. There were more pictures of them, even one of them kissing! Louis slammed down the newspaper hard making Leonard and Mrs. Davis jump.

 

'Fucking Dan Wootan!' he bellowed. 'He has fucking paps everywhere the fucking troll! Making a fucking story where there isn't one. I'll sue his motherfucking ass. Leonard, call my God damn lawyer. NOW! And my fucking PR. I need them to issue a fucking statement denying this shit. Motherfucking cunt! I'll show this asshole what happens when he messes with me!' Louis got up off the stool and thundered towards his room hoping that a hot shower would ease the tension inside of him.

 

He got to his room feeling like a volcano ready to erupt and destroy everything in his wake. He paced the length of his room and back again. This was wrong! He shouldn't have been papped! His private life was his own and what he did shouldn't be of anyone's concern. Suddenly he stopped short of what he was doing. Harry! They were going to get attention on Harry and drag him through the dirt. If they found out who he was, the media would hound him. People who didn't know Harry wouldn't recognize him but those who knew him would clearly see that it was him even though his face didn't show in the pictures. Louis didn't want a spotlight on Harry. He had his studies and his future to look forward to and he didn't need this kind of exposure especially not from Dan Dickhead who lied and printed shit in The Sun. Who the fuck made him a journalist anyway? He would find out and sue their fucking ass too!

 

Louis got under the shower and as he let the hot water wash over him, he knew that he had to protect Harry from all of this. Last night he had been careless. He had let his guard down. He had strolled hand in hand and kissed in public like a teenager! He had never in his life shown any PDA. Ever. And now here he was, splashed out on The fucking Sun as the hot topic of the day. People will gossip and wonder about him now. He had always kept his life private until Harry came along because Harry made him act like a fucking school boy with a crush. Harry made him lose all reason and sense of right and wrong.

 

So you finally admit that you have a crush on him?

 

Louis ground his teeth together as he got out of the shower. 'Fuck you. Not today. Don't give me any fucking lectures,' he growled out loud in his steamy bathroom. He wasn't in the mood for his subconscious to play Jacob Marley on him. He needed to get to the office and sort this mess out. And the mess with Harry. The way he had left him last night, vulnerable and wanting. Harry had been ready to let him take his virginity, had practically offered it to him on a golden plate along with how he trusted him to take his virginity. Dammit! Louis felt shit for hurting him that way but he just couldn't. He just couldn't bring himself to just fuck him! He wasn't going to fucking use him! He made a mental note to call him when he had a little free time and apologize. Or maybe get Leonard to send him a dozen sunflowers and a sorry card.

 

He was quick to get dressed in a black suit, white shirt and a gray tie. He quiffed his hair, put on some cologne and his cuff links and went downstairs. Leonard met him in the hallway.

 

'Sir I have called your lawyer but he won't be available until later this after noon,' Leonard told him, his voice shaky. When Louis was in this mood they all knew to pave his way as easy as possible and not to irritate him further. However, some things were out of their control. Louis glared at him.

 

'This afternoon? Who the fuck does he think he's working for? Call him back and tell him to get to my office not later than 11 am. I need to get this shit sorted out.' Louis began walking towards the front door and Leonard hurried to keep up with him.

 

'But Sir...' Louis stopped in his tacks and turned on him like a lion.

 

'No fucking buts Leonard. Get that asshole on the phone and tell him I need to see him this morning. I don't give a shit what appointments he's got. I don't give a flying fuck if he's got an appointment with the Queen! Tell him to fucking cancel. I need him!' With that Louis walked outside and straight into his car with not even a good morning to either Angus or Calvin and they knew better than to test his mood. Angus pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Canary Wharf. On the ride to the office, Louis re-read the sickening article and all the assumptions made about him and his private life. As if they knew him! Yes, he was a public figure and he attracted the attention of the media but that gave them no right to expose his private time. He kept his private life private for a reason and what this Dan Fuckwad was insinuating in The Sun was far from the truth.

 

Or is it? Did he hit a nerve that's why you're so demented this morning?

 

Louis growled internally at his subconscious. No, this was not a relationship. No, he was not taken. No, he was not in love so how did this piece of shit of a so called journalist make up these assumptions based on nothing but some blurry dark pictures taken by a low paid pap with a two cent camera who was quick to run and sell them to The Sun? The Sun was nothing more than a trashy tabloid! Louis also didn't like the fact that Dan Dipshit was putting a spotlight on Harry demanding to know who he was and arousing people's curiosity regarding this mysterious man that was dating Louis Tomlinson. It is none of their fucking business! More over, that wannabe journalist had no business to write about this, speculating things he new nothing about.

 

Louis looked at the pictures again, more closely. Thankfully Harry had had his back to where the stupid pap had been standing taking his sneaky pictures to sell for a few pounds. Harry's face couldn't be seen but his hair and his body were clear so those who knew him will definitely recognize him right away. He had this certain something about him that just made him unique and stand out. His friends will know its him. His co-workers at Garland's will know its him. Soon word would spread about the mysterious brunette and they will hound him. More so, people were going to speculate about them and the kind of relationship they had. Damn Dan Wootan to hell and back! Louis was going to make sure he wouldn't get away with it this time. It was one thing to go after him but he won't let him touch Harry. Yes, the pictures showed them kissing and holding hands but that didn't mean shit. It didn't mean he was in a relationship or in love! Dan had printed shit about him before but this was preposterous. He will let his lawyer advise him on what best course of action to take against this prick then his PR will issue a statement.

 

As soon as Louis got on to his floor in his building, it could be felt that he was in a bad mood. It was as if thunder, a hurricane and a bubbling volcano where walking down the corridor all fighting for dominance as to whom will explode first and bring destruction to those in their path. Lynn took one look at his face and prayed to God to have mercy on her.

 

'Good morning Sir,' she told him as she walked beside him and tried to keep up with his fast stride as he thundered towards his office.

 

'Get me fucking Leonard on the phone. NOW!' he barked, making Lynn jump. Everyone got out of Storm Louis' way. 'And get me a God damn double espresso with a shot of vodka!' he yelled before he slammed the door to his office shut. Lynn looked at the ceiling.

 

'God help us all today. It's going to be one of those long difficult days.'

 

 

x

 

Harry stirred and felt his body stiff and aching all over. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the dim morning light and realized that he had fallen asleep on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket they kept on the back of the couch. He stretched his sore limbs slowly, his bones creaking and his muscles protesting...then all of yesterday came flooding back to him like a tidal wave. Dinner with Louis...drinks with Louis...kissing Louis by the London Bridge...walking hand in hand with Louis...then back here where Louis had turned him down after he had basically offered himself to him like a sleazy whore.

 

Harry sat up and swung his legs off the sofa and felt as if his head would explode. His eyes felt swollen and he remembered that he had fallen asleep crying, clutching Louis' jacket while he inhaled his scent. Fuck! The jacket! It was on the floor beside him where it had probably fallen from his grip while he slept. He picked it up and noticed that it was a little bit too crumpled. He fingered the soft blue material, running his thumb over the delicate Vivienne Westwood label at the back of the collar. Then once again he inhaled it, Louis' scent filling his senses bringing back some of yesterday and it made his heart ache and his eyes tear up once again. Never in his life had he felt anything like this towards somebody.

 

Harry grabbed his phone off the coffee table to check the time. 8:30 am. And no message or missed call from Louis. Harry scoffed at himself. What was he expecting? An apology from Louis? He was the one who should be calling him and apologizing for throwing himself at him and actually asking him to...to...Harry felt embarrassed and he hid his face in Louis' jacket. How could he ever face him again? He had acted like nothing but a cheap whore in Louis' presence. How could he ever look Louis in the eyes again?

 

He got up and padded barefoot to the kitchen wearing nothing but his boxers. He shivered in the cold morning air and realized that he had forgotten to turn up the radiator last night. He made himself a cup of tea and returned to the couch, wrapping himself in the blanket and mentally began planning out his day : lecture at 10. Another one at 11. His noon lecture was free so he only had to sit for two lectures today making most of his day free. He decided that he will join his friends for lunch then go and get Louis' jacket dry cleaned and take it to him at his office. And face him. And apologize. He made a mental note to look up TGE address online.

 

Harry got in the shower and took his time under the hot water, trying to relax his cold and stiff muscles. The water helped with his aching body but not with his emotional aches and worries. After having finished with his shower, he got dressed and headed off towards University with ample time to take it slow. The day was dark and dreary, matching Harry's emotional state. He pulled up the hood of his gray Packers hoodie and zipped up his jacket as he made his way across campus. He just couldn't stop feeling cold today. He knew that Niall, Liam and Zayn were already at their lectures and Nick was probably at the lab or getting the University's magazine with the Louis issue published. Harry was glad for the solitude because he really didn't need his friends questioning him about stuff that he couldn't answer.

 

His first lecture dragged on and on incessantly, Harry's mind not really focusing on Jane Eye or Charlotte Bronte. He had his own "Mr. Rochester" to deal with and his was very much real unlike the fictional Mr. Rochester. When they were finally dismissed, Harry dragged himself unwillingly to his next lecture which was pretty much like the first one : dragging and boring and words that over lapped each other and made no sense in Harry's troubled mind. His mind just wasn't there.

 

He was glad when the bell signaled the end of the lecture and the end of his day at Uni. He got up slowly, his body too heavy weighed down by his thoughts to move any faster. He staggered off, his feet shuffling to meet his friends for lunch. He figured he couldn't avoid them forever and he knew that they would ask questions as soon as they saw his gloomy face but Harry knew he could always fake it, saying that he was coming down with the flu and wasn't feeling very well. They would buy that wouldn't they? After all they were his friends and didn't have any reason to doubt his word. He just needed them right now. Needed to be around them and let them distract him from this hollow sinking feeling inside his heart.

 

As soon as he stepped outside, he drew his black bomber jacket closer to his chest and pulled up his hood again. He just couldn't stop the chill. He began walking towards their usual table and Harry silently wished that for today they could've stayed in the cafeteria where it was warm but unless it was raining or snowing, his friends always opted for outdoors. As he approached their allocated spot, he could see them sitting there already : Zayn and Liam with their arms about each other, sending a stab inside Harry's heart which made him bite his lower lip till it actually hurt; Nick and Niall where engrossed in some heated argument. Harry loved his friends and he needed them right now to anchor him while he was feeling as if he was drifting in a current too strong for him and was threatening to pull him down under.

 

He sat down beside Niall who had been kind enough to get him a wholemeal grain sandwich with Edam cheese and tomatoes and a cup of tea.

 

'Hey,' he told them as he sat his bag on the ground beside his feet and commenced to tear the wrapper off his sandwich. He hadn't eaten since last night...since he and...He swallowed hard not wanting to remember last night as he played with the wrapper of the sandwich not sure if he was up for eating or not. Harry noticed that his friends were all just looking at him and they looked kinda somber and serious. 'What's wrong?' he asked them, feeling a sense of panic wash through him. 'Did something happen? Tell me?'

 

'Why don't YOU tell us!' Nick snapped at him harshly taking Harry completely by surprise. Harry blinked at him in confusion.

 

'Me?' he asked dumbfounded. Nick pulled out a copy of The Sun and slammed it down in front of Harry.

 

'Yes you!' Nick spat at him. Harry's eyes left Nick's angry face and traveled down to the newspaper before him and when he saw the headlines "Multi Billionare Louis Tomlinson on a romantic night stroll with mystery brunette" and saw the pictures of them last night screaming out at him, he felt his blood turn to ice. He stared fixedly at them, at him and Louis kissing in front of the open Tower Bridge and them walking hand in hand. He felt frozen to the spot, unable to speak and unable to even form a coherent thought. Except for one : Louis would be mad! Louis would be so mad.

 

'That's you isn't it?' Nick asked him angrily tapping the black and white pictures. Harry raised his eyes slowly from the newspaper and found his friends looking at him expectantly with unasked questions in their eyes except for Niall who was looking at him some what sympathetically because Niall knew. Harry opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. What could he say without exposing what was going on because seriously, what was there to expose though?

 

'Harry are you like fucking dating him?' Nick nearly screamed at him, making Harry jump a little. He didn't like being yelled at. It reminded him of when his dad used to yell at him when he had come out to his parents. His dad had yelled at him all the time. Lots of verbal abuse and Harry didn't like it when someone yelled at him.

 

'Easy,' Zayn chided Nick. 'Mr. Tomlinson doesn't date,' he informed him calmly. Nick looked at Zayn as if he had just sprouted another head.

 

'That sure looks like a fucking date to me,' he snapped pointing at the newspaper. Harry kept his eyes down on the pictures on the newspaper. Zayn scooted a little closer to Harry.

 

'Hey,' he told him softly, 'whats going on Haz? Talk to me.' Harry kept his eyes down and felt the sudden urge to cry. Zayn's soft voice was making him want to cry hard and let it out, all of it, all that had happened since the day he had met Louis but he couldn't.

 

'Nothing,' Harry whispered, feeling as if his heart was shattering in his chest.

 

'Nothing my ass!' Nick yelled at him. 'Did you get yourself a sugar daddy huh? Was I not good enough for you? You had to get someone old enough to be your god damn father!' Harry flinched with every word Nick threw at him, reminding him of his father.

 

Why did you have to turn out gay? You disgraced this family. And once your mother is gone, you are out of this house! I am ashamed to say that you are my son. How did I ever end up with a faggot for a son? Once you're out of here, you are dead to me you hear?

 

Harry closed his eyes tightly shut, his fingers clawing at his thighs as he remembered his father yelling and yelling and yelling.

 

'Watch it!' Zayn warned Nick. 'And don't fucking yell at him.' He turned back to Harry and saw that he was struggling. Zayn rubbed his back gently. 'It's alright Haz. Take a deep breath yeah. Its alright.' Harry took in a few deep breaths and opened his eyes but still kept them on the newspaper in front of him. 'Harry,' Zayn continued treading gently, 'I know that he called you to VIP several times.....'

 

'What?' Niall jumped in. 'You told me you were doing nothing with him.....'

 

'You knew?' Nick spat at him. 'How long has this farce been going on?' Niall looked from Harry to Nick when he realized that he had let on that he knew about Harry and Louis.

 

'I only found out yesterday when I saw Harry's iPhone....' Niall snapped his mouth shut when he realized what he had said. Nick's eyes went wide.

 

'He gave you a fucking iPhone?' he yelled again, his face beet red. 'He gave you a God damn fucking iPhone?' Zayn turned on him.

 

'Calm the fuck down Nick and stop yelling for fucks sake! Let Harry explain man,' Zayn told him exasperated but when he saw the state Harry was in, he asked him calmly: 'Harry what are you doing?'

 

'Nothing,' Harry whispered again. Nick slammed his hand down on the table.

 

'Nobody gives you a fucking iPhone for nothing Harry. You're letting him fuck you aren't you? You're what, his whore now?' Harry stared at him in horror, his eyes wide and wet. Zayn rolled his eyes.

 

'Can you shut it for two seconds Nick? Yell one one time and I'll fucking punch you in the throat!' Zayn threatened him. Nick raised his hands as if in surrender even though he knew Zayn wouldn't actually hit him but still shut up yet he kept his angry look on Harry. Zayn turned his attention back to Harry ignoring sulky Nick.

 

'Haz word at the club is that you are Mr. Tomlinson's new boy toy and some of his boys are not happy about that especially Ryan. Everyone knows he's Mr. Tomlinson's favorite and well, since you came along he's been asking for you. A lot. And a lot less for him.' Harry looked at him with his wide eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

'T-that's n-not true,' he gasped out. 'N-none of t-this is true Zayn. I-I'm not his....he's not....No he...they're all lies,' Harry choked out trying to hold back from crying but it was becoming impossible when his friends where thinking that he was a whore and everyone at the club thought he was Louis' new toy. Zayn put a hand on his arm to calm him down.

 

'Harry he keeps asking for you to go to VIP and we all know what happens in VIP. I'm just saying....'

 

'He doesn't!' Harry told him panicked. 'I-I haven't. He-he doesn't. He doesn't Zayn!' Harry protested but his voice was weak and broken because of the huge lump that had formed in his throat and he couldn't speak round the tears that were threatening to fall. Zayn eyed him and he could see how distressed he was. His hands were shaking and he was breathing heavily.

 

'So you're telling me that he never touched you?' Zayn asked him gently. Harry screwed his eyes tightly shut and the tears finally rolled on to his cheeks. Zayn sighed. 'Harry he has a bad reputation. He uses people for sex then just dumps them and moves onto his next one. He has a tendency to make them feel important and special and like they matter. He spoils them with gifts until he gets what he wants. He's only after sex....'

 

'He's not!' Harry interrupted him and he was glad that his voice came out some what strong and firm.

 

'Why the fuck are you even defending him?' Nick yelled. 'Its a well known fact that he's a sex addict and just loves them and leave them and yet here you are defending him.' Harry turned his head towards Nick and locked eyes with him.

 

'I'm defending him because he's never fucked me that's why. Because he's hardly ever touched me that's why. I'm still a virgin,' he told him trying to keep his voice strong but inside he was breaking because Louis didn't want him. He was inexperienced and didn't know how to please Louis and Louis didn't want him. Niall saw more tears roll down Harry's cheek and he wrapped his arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

 

'Here drink your tea,' Niall told him as he pushed the paper cup towards Harry. Harry wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and took a sip of the luke warm tea. Zayn eyed him and even though Harry looked like shit, he couldn't just let this go.

 

'So what happens in VIP Harry?' Zayn pushed at him. Liam, who had been silent throughout this whole exchange, nudged Zayn.

 

'Zayn he's upset love. Give him a break,' Liam pointed out.

 

'Li I'm looking out for him before he gets too hurt,' Zayn defended.

 

'I know you are honey but Harry wouldn't lie would you Haz?' Liam asked him. Harry looked at Liam but said nothing. Zayn shook his head not convinced.

 

'So you're telling me he gets you in VIP multiple times, takes you out, buys you an expensive phone all for nothing? He never touched you? Ever?' Zayn pressed further making Liam huff in annoyance. Harry locked eyes with Zayn.

 

'He doesn't force me into anything. We talk mostly. We kissed. Touched some but I swear to you, he's never fucked me. He...he doesn't want to,' Harry whispered, taking another sip of his tea. Zayn let out a long drawn breath.

 

'Wow! That's new! Louis Tomlinson passes up an opportunity to fuck the hottest most wanted stripper at Garland's at the moment. What's the world coming to?' Nick scoffed.

 

'And are you so naive as to believe him?' he threw at Zayn. 'He's just baiting him, blinding him with words and expensive gifts until he gets him on his hands and knees. Then he will fuck him and leave him and you Harry will deserve it because you are letting yourself be led on by........'

 

'Nick stop it!' Liam exclaimed. When he saw fresh tears fall from Harry's eyes, Liam placed a comforting hand on Harry's arm.

 

'Harry please tell us what is going on with you. Talk to us. You look sad love what is it?' Harry felt so very emotional and he couldn't hold back. He looked from one to the other, even at Nick who was glaring at him angrily and he tried to bite back the tears.

 

'I'm falling for him alright,' he sobbed. 'I'm falling for him and I just can't help it. I just can't and it hurts so bad!' He stood up as he sobbed out the last words, picked up his bag and rushed off not caring that his friends were calling out for him to go back. He kept going, his chin tucked into his chest as he tried his hardest to hide his face. He had to get away, somewhere far away from them. He rushed off campus not really seeing where he was going because his vision was all blurry from his tears. He made his way down the tube not caring that people were giving him weird looks. Let them look! They didn't know his pain.

 

Lucky for him the train was about to leave so he hopped on quickly and slumped into an empty seat by the door. The door closed with a silent swoosh and the train rumbled on. Harry felt sad, a deep sadness that he had never felt before apart from the grief when his mother passed away. He felt upset that his friends thought bad of him. He felt bad that Nick was mad at him. He felt frustrated that the people at work where talking shit about him behind his back. He was worried about having ended up on The Sun in an article including Louis and he was scared of what Louis' reaction to all of this might be. He was mad at himself for falling for Louis because he knew that he was heading for a major broken heart but he couldn't stop it. He just couldn't.

 

The voice on the intercom announced that "next stop is Edgware Road" so Harry got up and stood in front of the door waiting for them to open up once the train got into the station. Once they did, he hopped off and dashed up the escalators and out into the cold London afternoon air. It had started to drizzle but Harry didn't mind the rain. He walked idly towards his flat, his mind worrying about thoughts that were eating him up inside.

 

When he got to his flat, the first thing he did was check his phone. Nothing from Louis much to his dismay. He put his bag down and tapped the Google icon on his phone and typed in the TGE London office and soon the company's website popped up. Harry tapped "contact us" where he was immediately presented with the address, a telephone number and an email. Harry had to go to Canary Wharf. Harry decided to text Louis and forewarn him that he was going to drop by his office. He didn't know if it was okay for him to just go there unannounced or without appointment and he had no idea if he was breaking some cardinal rule set by Louis about boundaries and mixing work with pleasure but at this point, Harry was too far gone to care.The worst that could happen was that Louis would call security and have him escorted off the premises and probably file for a restraining order against him. Yeah, Harry reckoned, that would probably be the worst of it but he was determined to get Louis' jacket dry cleaned, go there, apologize to Louis, give him back the phone and leave. Leave it all behind. Leave Louis behind once and for all.

 

Harry tapped Google again and searched for dry cleaners in the vicinity that got your dry cleaning done while you waited. He was given three choices : one was in South Kenton but that was too far out of his way. The other was in Whitechapel which was also out of his zone and his final option and the one closest was in Hammersmith. He tapped on the one in Hammersmith and they promised to have your item dry cleaned in less than half an hour while you waited. That was settled then.

 

He quickly assessed himself in the bathroom mirror and he grimaced at his reflection with distaste. His curls looked tangled like a birds nest and his eyes were red and puffy, standing out against his pale cheeks. He splashed cold water onto his face hoping that it might help him look a little more presentable and less like a corpse but his face remained dull. The light within him had been turned off so it didn't shine its reflection out of his face. It was what it was. He was sad and couldn't put on a happy face even if his life depended on it. He raked his fingers through his curls trying to tame them down but when they stubbornly refused, Harry decided to just put up his hair in a messy bun. He looked at his reflection one more time, decided there was nothing else he could do about it and walked out of the bathroom giving up on himself.

 

He grabbed his bag, keys and Louis' jacket and headed out, stuffing his ear buds in and pressed the play button on his ancient mp4 player that his mother had given him on his 15th birthday. He loved it as it reminded him of his mum and it was full of his favorite music and his mum's too. He locked the door behind him and once again headed for the tube station while listening to an old classic by Nazareth called Love Hurts. Harry felt his chest tighten as the beautiful rock ballad filled his ears.

 

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds  
And marks, any heart  
Not tough or strong enough  
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain  
Love is like a cloud  
Holds a lot of rain  
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

 

Harry swallowed hard. Love shouldn't hurt or scar or wound. His mother had taught him that love healed everything. That if you loved and gave love you would get it back. Love makes everything alright. Harry didn't want to doubt his mother but the way he was feeling right now, he begged to differ. Loving someone that didn't love you in return, hurt. Period.

 

I'm young, I know, but even so  
I know a thing or two  
And I learned from you  
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot  
Love is like a flame  
It burns you when it's hot  
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

 

Harry got on the train and sat down still lost in his own thoughts as the music played on. This was his first experience feeling this kind of thing. He wasn't sure if it was love but it felt similar, close. He was sure he was infatuated with Louis but he felt other things too like wanting to see him every day, go on dates, cuddle with him, things that Louis would never in a million years give him because he had told him that he wasn't into this. Why was he being so stupid and letting himself fall for the mighty and unreachable Louis Tomlinson? Sadly, he had to admit that he was falling hard and there was no soft landing below. He had heard the rumors about Louis, heard them talk in the dressing room while they were getting ready for their shows and he had heard how some of them had been left heart broken after he had been done with them. Was he going to be another one in the long line of broken hearts that made up Mr. Tomlinson's resume? But the more he knew Louis was unattainable, the more Harry wanted him and Harry couldn't help fall even though he knew he was going to crash and burn in the end and there would be no one to blame but himself.

 

I know it isn't true, I know it isn't true  
Love is just a lie  
Made to make you blue  
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

Harry got off at Hammersmith and after walking around for ten minutes and taking two wrong turns, he finally found the dry cleaners. He politely informed the man behind the counter to take extra care with this jacket as it was a Vivienne Westwood original and it belonged to his boss and if anything happened to it, his boss would be angry and probably sue him for negligence. The man assured him that they would be gentle and take extra care with the item. He sat down in the small waiting room and figured that since he had half an hour to wait, he might as well do some work and pulled out his copy of Jane Eyre. His next paper for the next semester was about Jane Eyre and Charlotte Bronte and the 19th century Victorian era and Harry knew he couldn't afford to fail. No matter what was going on in his life, he had to focus. He had to graduate. He had promised his mother that he would graduate and make her proud just a few hours before she died. This was just a glitch, a bump in the road and it could no matter what effect his studies. He dived into the book, receding from the world around him as he went back to the Gothic, isolated mansion of Thornfield Hall.

 

Harry had been so caught up in the book that he did not hear the man at the counter call to him until the man had called again. Startled, Harry looked up from his book, got up and made his way to the counter. The man handed him the now dry cleaned suit jacket on a coat hanger inside a black plastic wrapper. Harry thanked the man, paid him and left the shop, making his way back to the tube station to start his journey to Canary Wharf. His insides tumbled at the thought of seeing Louis. Once he was on the train, he took out his phone and checked to see if Louis had replied to his message but there was nothing. Harry decided to text him again just to be on the safe side. He really didn't want to surprise Louis by showing up at his office and risk being arrested for harassment at the work place.

 

[From Harry]

I don't know if you read my last message but I am on the way to your office now.

 

He tapped send and put his phone back into his jacket pocket. The journey to Canary Wharf took 25 minutes and three train changes but finally he emerged from the underground station into the beautiful plaza surrounded by high glass buildings, cafes and restaurants. On the way to TGE, Harry stopped at Starbucks and got himself a spiced pumpkin latte. He was cold. Chilled to the bone and it wasn't just from the freezing weather. The temperature had dropped and the sky was the color of lead. Harry pulled out his phone. 3:20 pm and nothing from Louis. He lounged by the river as he sipped his latte and he knew he was stalling. He knew he was avoiding going to see Louis but he had to. He just had to get this over and done with if he meant to keep his sanity and go after his life long dreams. He drained the last bit of his latte, deposited the empty paper cup into one of the recycling bins around the plaza and headed towards TGE Building.

 

When he finally got there, he stood on the pavement and looked up at the super imposing building made up of mirrored glass walls that reflected its surroundings back to you. The building felt dominant next to the others, intimidating.

 

Just like its owner!

 

Harry took in a deep breath and pushed the heavy glass doors and entered the busy foyer of the building. He looked around at all the people bustling to and fro and noticed a reception desk. Behind the desk on the wall in big gold lettering was written : Welcome to Tomlinson Global Enterprises. Harry gulped, feeling his stomach flip. He walked over and asked the polite lady behind the counter for Mr. Tomlinson and she kindly informed him that he was up on the 28 thfloor. Harry thanked her and got into the elevator and pressed the number 28. As the doors dinged close and the ascent started, Harry's heart thumped loudly against his sternum and his palms sweated. He was thankful for Beethoven's 'Romanza' playing in the elevator, helping him to calm his nerves.

 

The elevators finally opened on the the 28th floor and Harry stepped out onto a quieter reception area. It wasn't so busy up here. The reception area was smaller than the one below but behind the desk in smaller gold lettering offered the same as below : Welcome to Tomlinson Global Enterprises. Harry looked around him and everything was glamorous and chic in soft browns, golds and cream colors, black marble tops and floor to ceiling glass walls that over looked the city and just how rich was Louis exactly? Harry felt under dressed and under equipped to even walk into this building! Still, he walked over to the reception area where a beautiful young, blonde woman held up a finger at him indicating for him to wait as she talked on the phone. When she hung up, she looked up at him and gave him a toothy smile.

 

'Good afternoon and welcome to Tomlinson Global Enterprises. I am Rosemary. How may I help you today Sir?' Harry offered her a smile and he felt quite disheveled next to Rosemary who looked immaculate, with her perfect make-up, long red nails behind her black marble top reception desk.

 

'Hi, I'm Harry. I-I'm here to- to see Mr. Tomlinson please.' Rosemary smiled the toothy smile at him again. Harry reckoned she had been trained how to smile at people!

 

'Do you have an appointment Mr.....'

 

'Styles,' Harry told her. 'No I don't have an appointment.' Rosemary nodded at him.

 

'Are you here regarding the undergraduate internship Mr. Styles?' she asked him as she tapped on her computer.

 

'Um no,' Harry told her wondering how difficult it was going to be to see Louis. Rosemary looked at him with the look that one would usually give to a small child who was being difficult.

 

'May I ask what is the nature of your visit Sir?' she asked him. Harry was caught off guard with her question. What was he supposed to tell her? That he was here to return Louis' jacket that he had left last night at his apartment after Harry had practically begged him to fuck him? Harry felt himself blush. He looked at Rosemary who was waiting for him to answer her question, toothy smile fixed on her face.

 

'Its-its um kinda um personal,' Harry offered her because it was and he hoped that she would just leave it at that and let him through so he could get this over and done with. Rosemary took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, still smiling at Harry.

 

'I am afraid Mr. Tomlinson is rather busy.....'

 

'Please,' Harry interrupted her. 'Just tell him I'm here. He will see me. Please.' Harry watched her watch him curiously probably wondering how a homeless look a like was here requesting to see Mr. Tomlinson without an appointment for personal reasons and acting like Mr. Tomlinson knew him. Harry saw the doubt on her face and in all honesty, if he was Rosemary he would wonder too how a person like him was here demanding to see a man like Mr. Tomlinson. Rosemary nodded at him and picked up her desk phone. He watched her as she punched in an extension.

 

'Hello Lynn,' she said into the phone, 'I have a Mr. Styles here who wishes to see Mr. Tomlinson but he doesn't have an appointment.' She paused and was listening to whatever this Lynn person was saying to her. 'No he didn't state the nature of his business just that its personal.' Harry watched her listen some more then she put the phone down and looked at him. 'Please wait in the waiting room. Mr Tomlinson is in a meeting right now so please help yourself to coffee or water while you wait.' And with that, Rosemary dismissed him. Harry went to the waiting room where a few other people waited with their expensive suits and leather briefcases. Harry sat in the seat closest to the wall to ceiling window and looked down below. It was raining harder now and the world outside seemed far away and distant, enclosed in a light fog. He settled in his chair and pulled out Jane Eyre again and continued to read about the submissive girl who fell in love with the unattainable, dark Mr. Rochester who harbored a dark secret in his mansion.

 

When Harry felt his neck ache and his eyes burn, he looked up from his book and noticed that some of the people that had been waiting in the waiting room had either left or been called in. He pulled out his phone and was shocked to see that he had been waiting for over an hour and a half. The sky outside had gone almost dark and the rain still fell. He got up and stretched. He walked around the waiting area getting some feeling into his numb legs. Just then he heard a voice, a voice he knew so well, a voice that made his heart do very funny things. He saw Louis coming down the hall accompanied by a dark haired woman in a pencil skirt talking with a man. Louis looked immaculate in his dark suit and quiffed hair and Harry felt himself go weak. They stopped in front of the elevators and Louis shook hands with the man as they parted. When the elevator doors closed on the man, he watched Louis exhale and turn to go back down the corridor where he had come from and their eyes met. Harry saw the confusion on his face, as recognition set in.

 

'Harry?' Louis said as he walked towards the waiting room. 'What are you doing here?' he asked him. Harry felt his knees tremble. He was so beautiful.

 

'I um I....' he began but he watched as the woman next to Louis turned to her boss.

 

'He requested to see you Sir but he would not give out the reason for his business with you.' Louis dragged his eyes away from Harry and rested them on her.

 

'You knew he was here and you didn't tell me?' he asked her and Harry already began to shy away from that voice, the one in control. He watched the woman open her mouth, close it, then clear her throat.

 

'Sir you were in a meeting with.....'

 

'How long has he been waiting?' Louis growled at her. The woman looked at her watch then up at Louis.

 

'For an hour and a half,' she said quietly. Harry watched Louis' face darken and he felt sorry for the poor woman.

 

'You left him here waiting for an hour and a half without informing me that he was here?' Louis yelled.

 

'You were with Mr. Stanford.....' the woman began to explain.

 

'I do not give a fuck who I was with Lynn! I could've been with Prince William for all I care! You should've informed me right away,' he bellowed and Harry was glad he wasn't in the woman's shoes right now. Louis turned to look at Harry. 'I am sorry you were left waiting for all this time,' he told him in a calmer voice. 'Please, come to my office.'

 

'Sir,' Lynn began, her voice shaky. 'You have a 5:30 with Mr. Clarke, drinks at 7 pm with......'

 

'Cancel the rest of my appointments,' Louis told her curtly as he began walking towards his office with Harry trailing behind them, feeling so awfully out of place.

 

'But Sir....' Lynn tried again and Harry watched as Louis stopped and turned on her.

 

'Which part of cancel all my appointments are you finding difficult to understand Lynn? Reschedule. Mr. Styles and I have business to take care of, business that cannot be rushed. Now, cancel the rest of my appointments for today.' Lynn looked from Louis to Harry then back to Louis.

 

'Yes Sir,' she said and walked away. Louis smiled at Harry as he pushed open the door to his office allowing him to walk in ahead of him. Harry walked inside the office, taking in the grand room with its huge glass desk, black leather executive chair, black leather couch, glass coffee table and plush white carpet.

 

'Please sit,' Louis told him gesturing to the couch and Harry sank into the soft leather. Louis sat on the other end of the couch and for the first time since he woke up this morning, he felt the heavy weight on his chest ease a little and his mood shift. 'What brings you here Harry? This is a....surprise.' Harry looked at him still trying to gauge his mood but Louis didn't seem to be mad at him.

 

'I um text you that I was um coming,' Harry said quietly. Louis huffed softly.

 

'I'm sorry. I apologize. I have been in meetings all day and I haven't looked at my phone at all. Would you like some tea? Coffee?' Louis asked him but before Harry could reply Louis was off the couch and buzzing Lynn. 'Lynn be a dear and bring us tea and coffee please.' Harry watched him move about the office, Louis in his element, in control, dominating his domain and Harry fell harder. Louis sat back down on the couch and gave Harry a small smile.

 

'So what brings you here?' Harry fumbled nervously with his fingers and Louis reached out and covered his hands, stopping his fumbling. 'Harry what is it?' he asked in his commanding yet gentle tone.

 

'I um I brought you y-your jacket. You um l-left it at mine y-yesterday. I-I had it dry cleaned f-for you,' Harry told him not daring to look up at Louis. He didn't know what to expect. Louis could explode. Louis could yell at him. Louis could have him arrested.

 

'You took time to dry clean my jacket and come all the way out here to bring it to me?' Louis asked him amused. Harry raised his eyes and found Louis looking at him with the softest look ever that made Harry's insides quiver.

 

'Yeah and...and to apologize,' Harry said quietly. A knock on the door stopped Harry short.

 

'Hold that thought,' Louis told him. 'Come in,' he called out and Lynn came in with a tray which she placed on the coffee table.

 

'Anything else Sir?' she asked him. Louis looked at her.

 

'I am not to be disturbed Lynn. For no reason what so ever okay?' Lynn nodded.

 

'Yes Sir,' she replied and walked out, closing the door softly behind her. When they were alone again, Louis turned to Harry.

 

'You were saying?' Harry shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

 

'I um w-wanted to apologize,' he said. Louis furrowed his brows in confusion.

 

'For what?' Louis asked him. Harry licked his lips. Why was he making him say it? Can't he just understand what he was apologizing for? Surely he must know. Harry had made him so uncomfortable last night that he had fled from the apartment.

 

'For um what I-I did. For asking you to...to. I'm so sorry. I just didn't mean to make you uncomfortable and I-I know I did cos of the w-way you um...left,' Harry said rushing out the words in one go hoping that that would save him further embarrassment. Louis moved a little closer to him.

 

'You don't need to apologize Harry. If anything I should be the one apologizing for the way I left.' Harry looked at him, his eyes wide.

 

'Well it was only natural after I asked you to....' He didn't finish his sentence. He couldn't. He covered his face with both his hands feeling the shame envelope him. Louis reached out and removed his hands away from his face.

 

'Hey, first of all, never hide from me and second of all you don't need to feel embarrassed about it.' Louis paused and let his fingers trail over Harry's hand. 'Don't even think I...I didn't want to Harry.' Louis paused again and swallowed not sure how to continue and how much he should share with Harry.

 

Tell him. The boy is suffering and you can ease it.

 

'You do?' Harry asked him. Louis tightened his fingers around Harry's wrist.

 

'I do. So much,' he confessed. He gently moved Harry's hand over to his crotch and placed it over his semi hard dick. 'Look what you do to me. Every time you are near me, this is what happens,' Louis told him as he pressed Harry's hand down on his growing erection. Louis hissed at the contact and Harry could feel his own dick growing in his pants.

 

'S-so why.....' Harry began asking as Louis moved closer to him, their bodies touching. Harry didn't remove his hand off Louis' dick.

 

'Because,' Louis said huskily, 'I have never taken a virgin before and its freaking me the fuck out Harry. I want to fuck you so bad, hard and fast but I know I can't. Not with you being a virgin and I honestly don't know how to take your virginity,' Louis confessed honestly.

 

Good boy. You are doing well. Honesty suits you just like Versace does.

 

'Really?' Harry asked him as he felt Louis trail his fingers up the inside of his thigh. Harry shivered and Louis moved even closer, his lips inches away from Harry's.

 

'Really,' he said, his hot breath fanning over Harry's face. Harry worked his hand on Louis' now fully hard dick.

 

'Wow that escalated quickly,' Harry said against his lips. Louis smirked at him.

 

'Everything with you escalates quickly,' Louis murmured seductively as he cupped Harry's hard cock making him jump at the contact. They were both palming each other through their pants. Harry closed his eyes, his breathing getting heavier. 'Bet I can make you come in your pants just like this,' Louis told him, keeping his lips just hovering over Harry's but never kissing him. Harry made a sound that was something between a sob and a moan as Louis palmed him harder. He was sweating beneath his jacket and sweatshirt and he wanted to so much get naked. Louis looked at his face, flushed red cheeks, his lips parted, eyes hooded. 'You're so beautiful,' Louis whispered and Harry's hips bucked of their own accord into Louis' hand. He needed more. He moaned filthily as Louis pressed his thumb on his swollen head making the contact even more pleasurable as the fabric of his boxers grazed his sensitive skin.

 

'Please,' Harry moaned against Louis mouth and Louis smiled as he worked his hand on his dick. He needed this after the God awful day that he had had. This was his gift for enduring and having his patience tested today. He was fairly certain that God had sent Harry over here.

 

'I love to see you like this,' he murmured against Harry's parted lip. 'I am hardly touching you and look at you, you look so wrecked, so close to coming.' He moved his lips closer to Harry's ear, flicking his tongue against the shell. 'I would really really love to see how you would look while being fucked so hard, all splayed out for me.....' but Louis didn't get to finish the sentence because Harry's orgasm hit him hard. His body shook as he came in his pants, panting hard and with Louis' name on his lips. Louis kept palming him slowly through his orgasm until Harry somewhat returned to his normal state of being. Louis couldn't help but look at him in wonder.

 

'I hope this shows you how much I want you and that you should never doubt me,' Louis told him as he placed a chaste kiss on Harry's lips. Harry was still reeling from the unexpected orgasm that hit him so hard he was still internally shaking. Louis had this effect on him. Louis could make him come at the touch of his hand, or at a few whispered words. It was the Louis Effect and Harry knew that he had it bad. Harry licked his lips and got up on wobbly feet. Louis looked at him wondering what he was doing until he saw Harry get down on his knees between his legs and Louis felt them fluttering start in his stomach. Harry had only blown him once and by the looks of it, he was about to do it again and Louis couldn't be more excited.

 

'May I Sir?' Harry asked him looking up at him through his lashes and Louis felt the question go to his dick.

 

'By all means,' Louis told him as Harry began undoing his belt and zip. Just as he was about to touch him, Louis told him: 'Untie your hair.' And Harry was quick to tug at the hair tie holding his bun, setting his unruly curls free. Louis leaned over and ran his fingers through his curls, capturing Harry's lips in a kiss, his tongue finding its way into Harry's expectant mouth. He kissed him languidly, his tongue circling Harry's. The moment Louis pulled back and leaned back against the couch, Harry pulled him out of his boxers and wasted no time in taking Louis into his mouth, deep throating him right away.

 

'Jesus fuck Harry!' Louis exclaimed as Harry bobbed his head up and down taking him in deeper into his throat. Louis was losing his chill because damn Harry had gotten better since the last time he had given him head. Harry pulled off but was soon back on Louis sucking the head into his mouth and circling his tongue into the slit making Louis moan out loudly. Louis' fingers found their way into Harry's hair, his nails scraping his skull and pulling at his curls. This seemed to prompt Harry on because he took all of Louis in again, making him see stars. Louis bucked his hips off the couch, hitting the back of Harry's throat but Harry kept on going and soon Louis could feel his orgasm building and building. He tugged on Harry's hair.

 

'Harry I-I'm....get off me,' he groaned but Harry continued and soon Louis was coming hard down his throat and Harry swallowed every last drop. Louis let his head roll back on to the couch, breathing heavily as his orgasm shook him.

 

'How was that Sir?' Harry asked him, his voice a little hoarse. Louis raised his head and found those gorgeous green eyes looking at him, searching for his reaction. Louis leaned forward and stroked his hair.

 

'That was mind blowing. Better than your first time. Where did you learn to do that?' Harry smiled sheepishly at him.

 

'I watched porn,' he admitted a blush creeping across his cheeks. Louis chuckled and placed a kiss on his lips.

 

'Ever the learner aren't you?' he told him. 'Come, sit next to me,' he told him as he tucked himself back into his pants. He handed Harry a cup of tea which Harry took gratefully because his throat kinda burned a little and he needed to chase off the taste of Louis' cum out of his mouth. He sipped the hot tea which soothed his raw throat.

 

'You know you didn't have to dry clean my jacket right?' Louis told him, a smile on his face. 'I have people who do that for me.' Harry shrugged.

 

'I know. I wanted to though,' Harry told him. He was feeling a little better than he had this morning. Being beside Louis always made things alright and made him forget what Louis was after and that despite that, Harry was willing to give it to him. Louis poured himself a cup of coffee.

 

'I also have some apologizing to do. I'm sorry you ended up on the newspaper because of me. That Dan Wootan is an asshole but I will take care of it. I hope that article won't give you any trouble. Did your friends recognize you?' Louis asked him. Harry nodded.

 

'They did,' he told him. Louis eyed him and knew he was holding back from him.

 

'What did they say?' Harry chewed on his bottom lip trying to decide what to tell him and how much to tell him. 'Harry! What did they say?' Louis ordered.

 

'They um they asked me a lot of questions about um us...I mean you and me not us. There is no us I know that but you um know they kinda asked.....' he trailed off and waited for Louis to yell at him.

 

'What did you tell them?' Louis asked curiously.

 

You want to know what he told his friends about you? OMG such a schoolgirl with a crush!

 

'Nothing!' Harry was quick to reply. 'I- I didn't tell them anything I swear Lou- I mean Sir..I d-didn't....'

 

'Harry Harry relax. Its alright. Its okay.' Harry looked at him and sighed.

 

'Its-its just Zayn works at Garlands and he knows you have asked for me in VIP and with the phone and yesterday....the pictures....'

 

'They think you are my whore,' Louis finished for him. Harry felt himself blush deeper, his cheeks burning.

 

'I-I told them its not like that,' he defended. Louis placed his finger under his chin and raised Harry's face till their eyes met.

 

'I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks just as long as you don't think it. I would never treat you like a whore Harry.'

 

'You wouldn't?' Harry asked him hopefully, his heart doing somersaults in his chest. Louis looked a little bit offended.

 

'Do you feel like I treat you like a whore? Have you felt that way?' he asked him a little shocked at Harry's assumptions.

 

'Its just that...y-you're m-my boss and a-a client and I-I heard the r-rumors....'

 

'Yes, my reputation precedes me unfortunately,' Louis told him a little sternly.

 

'Is-is it true?' Harry dared to ask. He knew he was pushing his luck but this was the first time they were actually talking about this. Louis looked down and remained silent for a while. Then he looked up and met Harry's eyes.

 

'Yes,' he told him calmly. 'I told you that I don't date and I don't intend to. I have no intention of settling down with anyone. I just like to fuck and have a good time, no strings attached.' Harry felt his heart deflate and the sudden urge to cry came back. 'But,' Louis continued, 'with you its been different. I don't know what it is but I like you and I like a very few people in my life.' He cupped Harry's cheek and stoked his cheekbone with his thumb. 'I know I'm an asshole and a domineering son of a bitch who's a control freak. I'm well aware of people's opinion about me and I have learned not to give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me. If I wasn't that way, I probably wouldn't be where I am today, but when it comes to you, I don't know what the fuck you do to me and its confusing me. As hard as it is for people to believe, I do have a soul but its reserved for your eyes only. I can't promise you anything Harry and I won't pretend that I'm making you promises that I can't keep but the fact is that you make me happier. I want to know you if you let me just please don't expect more from me. I'm not a person that wants to be tied down. I am not a family man. I don't want to be married and I don't like children. But I can give respect where its due given and I respect you. I would never treat you like a whore and I don't even want you to entertain that thought and if anyone does, I will sue them for slander. In fact, I want you to stop working at Garlands.'

 

Fucking finally! He admits he likes the boy! Hallelujah!

 

Harry's mouth hung open at Louis' confession, his mind still trying to process all that Louis had said. Harry cleared his throat.

 

'I um I can't stop working there. I-I need....'

 

'The money yes I know. I'm a selfish man Harry. I will not commit to you but I will not share you either and the thought of having you there, stripping and giving lap dances to those hungry animals, well I just don't like it and I can't stand it.'

 

Possessive much?

 

'Louis I can't give up my job,' Harry told him again. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Well if you can't give up your job, I can always shut Garland's down and you will just end up without a job anyway plus many others will be jobless and it will be all your fault. Either way, you will stop working there so its up to you really,' Louis told him giving him a non-chalant shrug and taking a sip of his coffee.

 

'You would do that?' Harry asked him shocked.

 

'One thing you should know about me Harry is that I always get what I want. Always. One way or another, I get it.' Harry looked at him helplessly.

 

'But where will I find a job that pays me this much?' he asked more to himself than to Louis.

 

'I think I might be able to help you with that. Saturday I'm having a party at my house, well a friend of mine is having HIS party at my house and I want you to come. Its not a big thing but I might help you with a job since you are so keen on working where as I can help you with anything you need.....'

 

'No!' Harry interrupted him. 'Thank you but no.'

 

'Yeah yeah I know you won't let me. Shame. I like to spoil my partners.' Harry recoiled a little at Louis' words, remembering what Zayn had said about Louis and his previous relationships. 'So will you come to the party? Think of it more as a job interview if it makes you feel better.' Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'Okay. Thank you.' Louis smiled at him.

 

'Don't thank me just yet. Big things are coming your way if you trust me. Now, I'm going to get my secretary to order us dinner then I will get Angus to drive you home.'

 

'I can take the tube,' Harry offered. Louis gave him an annoyed look.

 

'Are you going to be difficult and not let me do anything for you? Besides, do you want to travel on the tube all sticky down there as you are?' Harry blushed deeply and Louis found himself fonding over the boy. 'I thought so,' he told him playfully. 'Now what would you like for dinner?'

 

Harry left Louis' office some two hours later, his tummy full of the delicious Chinese food Louis had ordered and his heart even fuller of all the beautiful feelings he felt for Louis. Harry felt lighter, happier. He was aware that Louis would never be his boyfriend and would never commit to him and maybe Harry was okay with that as long as he got to spend time with Louis. And maybe Louis would never love him and maybe he was already into deep but for the time being but Harry was happy. All he could do was live in the now and enjoy now. He didn't know what tomorrow or next week or next month would bring. So for the time being, Harry was going to live this and take all that Louis could give him in terms of affection.

 

He stepped outside onto the plaza and found Angus waiting for him.

 

'Good evening Sir,' Angus greeted him as he opened the car door for him. Harry gave him his dimpled smile.

 

'Good evening Angus and please call me Harry. Just Harry.' Angus nodded at him and closed the car door once Harry was inside. When Angus got in, he looked at Harry through the rear view mirror.

 

'Where to Harry?' Angus asked him with a smile.

 

'Home please.'


	6. For You I Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again with another chapter, trying not to keep you waiting to long for it. Once again, thank you for reading this fic. I am grateful.   
> All the love  
> M.

For You I Will.

 

 

Harry stretched in his bed, his toes peeking out from under the warm comforter. He quickly tucked them back in as soon as the cold air touched them and he snuggled deeper in the warmth of his bed. He wrapped the comforter tighter around him as he slowly transitioned from his sleepy state into wakefulness. He opened his eyes slowly to weak gray light filtering into his small room and without even knowing why, a smile crept across his sleepy face...because his soul knew he was happy even before his mind registered it.

 

Then it all slowly came back to him, each memory of all that had happened between him and Louis the night before at Louis' office. Louis liked him. And Louis had told him that he wanted some kind of relationship with him that was not on a boyfriend/dating kind of level. Harry didn't know what that was exactly and frankly he didn't care. All that mattered was that Louis wanted to be with him and Harry had accepted Louis' terms because he wanted to be with him too under any condition. Harry was also feeling blissfully happy that Louis wanted him sexually. Louis wanted him. Craved him. He was only worried about his virginity which frankly Harry didn't understand why because he really wanted Louis to take it.

 

Harry's mind went back to the night before when they were on Louis' couch in his office, how Louis had palmed him and touched him and spoke dirty to him. How his warm breath had fanned over his ear and neck as he whispered to him what he wanted to do to him. Harry's body suddenly felt too warm and he felt his cock twitch. The more he thought about Louis and the night before, the more his body reacted and soon he found his hand making its way down into his boxers to his semi hard dick and he found himself wishing that Louis was beside him, touching him, naked, their skins flush together.

 

Harry began to pump himself slowly, his eyes closed as he thought back to the times Louis had touched him, reminiscing the feel of Louis' hand on him. He groaned at the thought. Harry remembered the feel of his lips wrapped around Louis' dick as he sucked him off. Harry moaned louder and threw his head back on the pillow as he pumped his now fully hard dick faster. He heard Louis' husky voice against his ear telling him why he hadn't fucked him yet and how badly he wanted to fuck him hard. Harry groaned again as he imagined Louis fucking him hard like those guys he had seen on those porn sites he visited. He wanted Louis deep inside him and this thought alone made Harry thrust up into his hand as he pumped his dick furiously. His breathing was becoming erratic as he imagined Louis pushing in and out of his tight ass fast and hard. Harry felt his body coil and tense, his abdomen tighten as his orgasm built up, the heat pooling in his insides. He arched his back off the mattress bucking up into his fist and he came all over himself, calling out Louis' name like a mantra. He lay panting hard as his body came down from its high. Harry shuddered and smiled, his eyes closed. He felt happy and sated.

 

He reached out from beneath the comforter and grabbed his phone and swiped it. No new messages. Well probably Louis was still asleep seeing it was only 7 am. Still, Harry decided to text him.

 

[From Harry]

Good morning. How are you today?

 

He hit send and put the phone back on the bed side table. He felt energized and ready for the day ahead although he had some difficult things to do today. He had to tell his friends about his new complicated relationship with Louis which he doubted they would understand let alone accept but he knew that whatever they said to try and change his mind, they wouldn't alter his decision. He was also aware that Nick would probably have another go at him and yell and not talk to him but he was ready to risk that. Maybe Liam, Zayn and Niall wouldn't support him in this either but that was also a risk he was willing to take. For Louis. He knew that if it came down to choosing between them and Louis, he would choose Louis as selfish as that may seem.

 

Then he had to go to Garlands to tell Adam that he would no longer be working there. Most probably Adam would have a fit but Harry reckoned that he would just have to get over the fact that he was done being a stripper. Harry knew he was giving up a lot for Louis, that he was risking too much for a person who wouldn't even acknowledge what kind of a relationship he wanted with him but Harry felt deep down inside him that what he was doing, was the right thing. He wanted to please Louis. He wanted to make him happy. Besides, there was nothing wrong in letting Louis help him find a more decent job. Harry never really liked stripping and lap dancing on men who only lusted for his body.

 

You hardly know him. You don't know anything about him at all besides the fact that he wants to fuck you and control you. You are giving up so much and placing it all in his hands.

 

Harry knew his subconscious was probably right but he was too optimistic and happy and positive to even let his subconscious drag him down.Harry got himself out of bed and headed towards the shower. He was mentally preparing himself for a good day. He was ready to embrace the future, whatever it might bring. Be it good or be it bad, he will cross those bridges when Louis Tomlinson decided to bring him to them. But for the time being, he was going to label himself as Louis Tomlinson's boyfriend and nobody needed to know otherwise!

 

 

X

 

 

As Louis finished his gym session, he felt better. More relaxed. Less anxious. At least so far, no panic attacks had assailed him. He sat on the bench and mopped his face with a towel, picked up his phone and swiped it. Immediately he smiled like an idiot when he saw that he had a message from Harry. He was thankful that he was alone and nobody could see the silly grin on his face.

 

Schoolgirl!

 

He mentally flipped off his annoying subconscious as he tapped the message.

 

[From Harry]

Good morning. How are you today?

 

Louis instantly hit reply even though this texting thing was fairly new to him.

 

[From Louis]

Good morning. I am very well thank you. That blow job of yours worked wonders on my mood. Works better than my mood stabilizer pills. What about you?

 

Louis hit send then got up and made his way to the kitchen. He felt famished and he could smell Mrs. Davis' pancakes all throughout the house. Maybe today he could ask her if she would be a dear and add some bacon to his pancakes. As he walked up the corridor towards the kitchen, his phone vibrated. He was quick to swipe it and tap on the new message.

 

[From Harry]

I am well thank you. Glad my expert mouth put you in a good mood ;) Getting ready to go to my first lecture. Boring :(

 

Louis smiled to himself at the sweet message and emojis. He stepped out into the kitchen engrossed in his phone.

 

[From Louis]

What did I tell you about your education, Mr Expert Mouth? Don't be a naughty boy because naughty boys get punished ;)

 

Seriously? Did you just emoji him? Who are you and what have you done with Louis?

 

Again, Louis mentally flipped off his subconscious as he slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar and looked from Mrs. Davis to Leonard, who were staring at him somewhat oddly amused.

 

'What?' he asked them, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Both of them recovered slightly from their staring.

 

'Good morning Mr. Tomlinson,' Mrs. David told him with a smile. 'Breakfast?' Louis gave her a grin.

 

'Please. I'm starving. Could I bother you into adding some bacon to my pancakes if its not any trouble?' Mrs. Davis and Leonard exchanged glances. He was acting weird. He never asked for bacon! In fact, he never altered his breakfast. Louis hardly ever altered his routine.

 

'No trouble at all Mr Tomlinson,' Mrs Davis told him as she went to work grilling some bacon for her boss. Leonard cleared his throat but as he was about to speak, Louis' phone vibrated again. Louis put his finger up at Leonard, indicating for him to wait.

 

[From Harry]

Punished as in how? Like no phone for a week? No telly? Grounded even? ;)

 

Louis smirked at the phone feeling internally giddy. So this little shit wanted to play huh. Oh its on!

 

[From Louis]

How about I spank that ass of yours till you can't sit down for a week huh?

 

He hit send.

 

Oh I bet you want to beat him. I bet its clawing you up inside to take a belt to him and beat him raw.

 

Louis ground his teeth together so much that his jaw hurt.

 

No! Never! Not him!

 

How long do you think you can hide this side of you from him? One day the need of beating him will be too strong for you to resist. He will see you for the monster that you are and leave you because let's face it, he's too good for you. Too innocent. Too pure. And you're nothing but a damaged sadist!

 

Louis' fingers clenched into fists on his lap. He felt his anxiety rearing up its ugly head. Why couldn't his subconscious just shut the fuck up? He was trying. He was taking a step into a direction he never ventured into before. Maybe he could curb it. Maybe he could stop being violent.

 

Sure you can Jan!

 

'Mr. Tomlinson.' Leonard's voice brought him back to the present. He could feel his anxiety in the pit of his stomach ready to take over but he won't let it win. He will fight it. He blinked at Leonard.

 

'Yes Leonard,' he asked him offering him an apologetic smile. Just then his phone vibrated again and Louis just had to, so he left Leonard hanging again.

 

[From Harry]

Hmm I like the sound of that ;)

 

Louis' dick twitched in his sweat pants. Was this boy for real?

 

[From Louis]

Howa bout you get that ass to Uni and stop being a little shit?

 

Louis hit send and almost immediately, Harry's text came in.

 

[From Harry]

Yes Sir.

 

Louis smiled at his phone and placed it face down on the counter, then gave his attention to Leonard just as Mrs. Davis pushed a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of him. Louis inhaled deeply.

 

'Hmm Judy smells so good,' he moaned. Mrs. Davis laughed as she poured him a cup of coffee to go with his breakfast. She watched him scarf down forkful after forkful of food and she wondered what had happened last evening to have altered his mood so drastically. She had never seen him eat so heartily. As Louis chewed and swallowed his food, taking sips of coffee in between, he looked at Leonard.

 

'Was there something you needed to tell me Leonard?' Louis asked him around a forkful of bacon.

 

'Yes Sir in fact I did. Your PR will issue a statement to The Sun later today regarding the Dan Wootan article that was published yesterday. He emailed you a copy of what he wrote so all he needs is just your confirmation and the go ahead,' Leonard explained. Louis nodded as he sipped his coffee.

 

'I'll see to it as soon as I get to the office. Leonard, I need you to call Gerard my stylist and tell him I have a job for him Saturday morning and I need you to assist him. I also need him to get me a suit for Saturday, nothing too formal. Also, I have a very important birthday coming up next Monday and I need you to pick me some gifts I have chosen. I want them wrapped and all ready by Sunday morning. I am also planning a surprise regarding this birthday and I need you to handle the arrangements I have made.' Leonard nodded.

 

'Yes Sir. Consider everything taken care of.' Louis gave him a satisfied smile then turned to look at Mrs. Davis.

 

'Also Judy, you can take Saturday off. With the party happening here there will be caterers and decorators coming and going. Marc's assistant will be over looking all the arrangements so you won't have anything to do. However I will need a special birthday breakfast on Sunday morning. And Leonard, after the party's finished here on Saturday, I need the dining room decorated with birthday stuff by Sunday morning. In the meantime Mrs. Davis, go and enjoy your grand babies.' Mrs. Davis' face lit up like a Christmas tree.

 

'Thank you so much Sir. I haven't seen them in a while. Thank you,' she gushed. Louis waved a dismissive hand at her.

 

'No, thank you Judy for taking such good care of me and my house. Leonard, run to Hamley's and get Mrs. Davis' grand babies some toys please.' Mrs. Davis gasped.

 

'You don't have to Sir,' she told him. Louis smiled at her as he slipped off the stool.

 

'I know but I want to,' he told her with a smile.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson, what shall I prepare for this birthday breakfast on Sunday?' Mrs. Davis asked him. She watched him brow furrow in thought. He looked at her and smiled.

 

'Have a bit of everything. I don't know what my guest likes exactly so have pancakes, English breakfast, fruit, cereal and toast. Also add eggs Benedict on toasted English muffins with salmon and Hollandaise sauce. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and get ready for work,' he told them as he headed off towards his room, his step light and bouncy. Mrs. Davis and Leonard exchanged knowing smiles because their boss was happy. He looked it and he radiated it and they silently prayed that whatever it was that was making him happy, continued to make him happy because they had worked with him long enough to know that despite all the wealth and fame he had, Louis was a sad and lonely person.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry's day was going wonderfully. His lectures where flying by and he felt relaxed and in tune with everything going on around him. Sometimes he zoned out and day dreamed of what was to come, of the possibilities that lay ahead, of what might come out of this "relationship" he had going on with Louis and loads of imagines created by his mind all of which saw him as Louis' exclusive boyfriend. Sometimes he internally chided himself to not expect more and not set up himself for disappointments but he couldn't help it. He was happy and for the time being he wasn't going to deny himself this feeling.

 

Soon it was time to go and meet his friends for lunch and to tell them all that had happened with Louis, minus the intimate details of course. They belonged solely and exclusively to the two of them. He made his way to their lunch table and even though he was nervous about what they might say especially Nick, he was determined not to let them spoil his mood or effect his decision in a negative way. They didn't know Louis like he did, or at least the side of Louis he had gotten to see over the past few weeks. Therefore, they were going to judge him on all the rumors they had heard about him. If only they could see him through his eyes!

 

When he arrived at the table, they were all sitting there already eating and he could feel their questioning eyes on him, burning holes right through him. He sat down.

 

'Hey,' he told them with a smile on his lips.

 

'Someone is chirpy,' Nick commented sarcastically as he chewed on his salad.

 

'In fact I am,' Harry replied, giving him a shit eating grin and he watched as Nick's face turned serious and he glared at Harry. Harry calmly tore the wrapper off his tuna and mayo sandwich and sipped his tea calmly. Nick scoffed.

 

'Something up your ass you might wanna share?' he snapped at him. Harry didn't like how Nick always seemed to be angry with him lately but then again he could understand his frustration. Harry chewed slowly on his sandwich and swallowed, giving Nick another smile.

 

'Nothing's up my ass at the moment but if there was I don't think I'd want to share it,' Harry told him as he took another bite of his sandwich. Niall, Zayn and Liam burst out laughing but that only angered Nick further.

 

'You think you're funny?' Nick spat at him.

 

'I know I am,' Harry replied playfully smiling at him.

 

'Stop being an asshole!' Nick yelled.

 

'Only when you stop being a dick,' Harry replied calmly round a mouthful of sandwich.

 

'I'm really not in the mood for your shit and witty comments,' Nick threw at him. Harry stopped eating and put his sandwich down. He locked his eyes with Nick.

 

'Neither am I Nick,' he told him calmly but seriously, his tone dangerously low. All joking and playfulness he had thus so far given to Nick, all vanished. 'And please don't yell at me. I don't like it.' Nicks scoffed again.

 

'Sensitive are we?' he mocked Harry.

 

'Nick cut it out,' Zayn warned him. Liam gave Harry a warm smile, totally ignoring a sulking Nick.

 

'You look better today,' Liam pointed out and Harry couldn't help the shy smile that spread across his face. Niall nudged him in the ribs with his elbow, making Harry squirm in his seat knowing he was ticklish.

 

'Dude spill. That happy face of yours has me curious,' Niall told him. Harry took a sip of his tea and wiped his mouth with his napkin. He looked from one to the other.

 

Here goes nothing!

 

'I saw Louis yesterday,' he began his voice low and drawing out the words making sure his friends understood him. 'And we talked.'

 

'And what?' Nick asked cocking an eyebrow at Harry. Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'I'm going to be with him,' he told them calmly.

 

'You what?' the four of them screeched at him in unision. Harry let them vent it out. He knew this would happen so he let them have it.

 

'Are you crazy?' Nick yelled.

 

'Harry how can you?' Niall asked him.

 

'Harry you can't do this,' Zayn exclaimed.

 

'Harry he's not good for you,' Liam pointed out. Harry looked at each of their shocked faces.

 

'Are you done?' he asked them, his tone still calm. 'I will answer your questions.' He directed his gaze to Nick. 'Yeah I guess I'm crazy,' he told him. Then he looked at Niall. 'I can because I want to.' He moved his eyes to settle on Zayn. 'Yes I can do this.' Finally he rested his eyes on Liam. 'He might not be good in the eyes of the world but he is in mine and that's all that matters.' Silence followed as all of them chewed on Harry's replies. It was Zayn who broke the silence.

 

'So, what, he wants a relationship with you?' he asked him. Harry played with the napkin. Here come the difficult questions that required answers, answers which he wasn't sure he could give but which he would at least try to.

 

'Not exactly,' he replied. 'Its...its complicated.'

 

'Of course it fucking is!' Nick growled. 'Its Louis fucking Tomlinson. Everything with him is complicated!' Harry glared at him.

 

'Don't speak about him as if you know him!' he told him a little harshly.

 

'And you do?' Nick yelled. Harry took in a deep breath trying to calm himself down. He thought to himself: What Would Louis Do in a situation like this?

 

Shut him down!

 

Harry looked at Nick squarely. 'Nick you are pissed off at me because you can't have me. You are angry because he can. Now, either get over yourself or remain bitter and angry. That's totally your choice. Either way just know that it won't effect me. I choose him. He makes me happy. None of you know him the way that I do which is why you are freaking out. He's a different person than what he projects himself to be and I get to see that part of him that he keeps hidden away from the world.'

 

'He's a pompous prick!' Nick roared. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'To you maybe because you're mad at him because he got me. Nick, I always treated you as a friend. Nothing more. I never led you on. You led yourself on believing there was more between us than friendship. If you got the wrong idea and led yourself down a path thinking I thought of you otherwise, than that's not my fault. I am sorry if you are hurting but....' Harry paused and smiled at himself. 'I feel deeply for him. Its mutual. We've discussed it.' Nick's face turned a deep shade of purple but before he could open his mouth and throw another string of verbal abuse towards Harry, Liam intervened.

 

'Harry, the guy doesn't date. Its a well known fact. What are you getting yourself in for?' Harry sighed and Liam couldn't help but notice the serene look on his face.

 

'I don't know yet but I'm willing to give it a chance.'

 

'He will break you,' Zayn pointed out. 'He is filling your head with promises he has no intention of keeping just to get into your pants Haz.'

 

'That's not true,' Harry said through gritted teeth. Why must they keep telling him this? If only they knew!

 

'Its what he does Harry!' Zayn stressed. 'Why are you so intent on being blind to what he truly is? What's gotten into you?' Harry looked down at his lap.

 

'He has,' he said softly. Zayn huffed in frustration.

 

'He will never love you Harry. He is just using you and filling your head up with words that mean nothing to him but mean a lot to you. He is not capable of love or feelings. He is soulless.....'

 

'You don't know him!' Harry yelled finally snapping but he instantly regretting raising his voice. 'I'm sorry,' he apologized. 'You just don't know him and you have no right to judge him on what you have heard or read about him. He is different with me.'

 

'What makes you think you're so fucking special to him?' Nick snarled.

 

'He's a virgin,' Zayn said before Harry could reply. 'That's what makes him so special to Mr. Tomlinson and what got him interested in Harry in the first place. He wants to take his virginity because that's all he does is take take take. He sees a challenge in Harry and he's up for challenges.'

 

'He doesn't,' Harry said in a low, sad voice. 'Why can't you just be happy for me?' Niall moved closer to him and wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder pulling him in for a hug.

 

'Because we love you and we don't want to see you broken Harry. You are such a good guy and he is taking advantage of you. You are too blinded by your feelings for him to see it and it is our job as your best friends to guide and protect you.'

 

'He's not going to hurt me,' Harry told him quietly.

 

'No he won't hurt you,' Zayn told him. 'He will simply shatter you into a million piece. You are already so far gone for him Harry. You are willing to be with him when he's not offering you anything at all.'

 

Stop!' Liam interrupted Zayn. All eyes went on Liam. 'Can we just take a moment here and stop attacking Harry? Okay, so we don't really know Louis or his intentions with Harry.....'

 

'Are you taking his side?' Zayn asked Liam none too gently. Liam's eyes widened at his boyfriend's accusatory tone with him. Zayn was generally a very calm and laid back person.

 

'I am not taking any sides here. I'm simply choosing to give this Louis the benefit of the doubt. People change Zayn especially when they find someone. And he's important to Harry so I really think we should get to know him not base his actions on his reputation.'

 

'Are you fucking kidding me?' Zayn snapped at him. 'Everyone knows what he is.'

 

'Exactly!' Liam snapped back. 'Everyone knows WHAT he is not WHO he is! There's a big difference Zayn. I might not know him but I researched him last night while you were at work. He's a fucking tycoon. A multi billionaire. There is not much about his personal life save that he is an only child and comes from Doncaster. From what I read he's a philanthropist. He does a lot for charity. He fucking gave us a new photo lab so there is good in the man you can't deny that. Yeah he had a string of relationships and many have spoken about how he broke their hearts but he still shouldn't be judged on that alone. I suggest he comes to Harry's birthday bash on Monday and we all make an effort to know him.'

 

'No fucking way,' Nick sneered. 'If he's coming then you might as well count me out now! So Harry choose. Its either him at your birthday bash or me.' Harry gave Nick as sad look.

 

'Don't do this Nick. Don't make me choose because it will always be him.' Nick gave him a disgusted look.

 

'Wow choosing your sugar daddy over your own friends! That's just wow!' Nick told him coldly. Harry felt Nick's words go to his heart.

 

'Don't call him that. And I wouldn't have to choose if you didn't make me. He probably wouldn't come anyway,' Harry said quietly because the chances of Louis coming to his birthday bash were slim to none.

 

'Are we that much beneath Mr. Mulit-Billionaire's standards that he wouldn't come to his boyfriend's birthday bash?' Nick taunted him.

 

'Nick shut up!' Niall admonished him. Harry got up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

 

'I'll see you guys later. I don't want to be late for literature.'

 

'Harry wait,' Liam called after him but Harry hurried away towards the building that housed his next class. Liam looked at Nick in annoyance. 'Do you always have to be such an asshole?' he asked him then he turned towards Zayn. 'And you! I thought I knew you better than someone who would go around judging people on mere rumors.'

 

'You don't know him,' Zayn said in his defense.

 

'And you do?' Liam asked him. 'You've only been repeating to Harry what you heard about him in the dressing room at Garlands probably from someone who is still bitter about Louis dumping him. You are better than that Zayn. I think we should meet him and support Harry through this.'

 

'That man is only using Harry,' Nick pointed out. Liam rolled his eyes.

 

'You know Nick, talking bad about Louis won't make Harry like you. In fact, I'm pretty sure he will end up disliking you if you continue to bad mouth Louis. Guys, people change. We don't know Louis' story or why he is the way he is. Maybe Harry is giving him something he's never had before. Maybe Harry is making him feel. Maybe, just maybe Harry will be the ONE for him.' Zayn looked at him in disbelief.

 

'Are you like serious? They are so fucking different. He is a multi billionaire and Harry is a struggling student who works as a stripper to pay off his tuition. And who, by the way happens to be a virgin and you seriously think that Mr. Tomlinson is going to settle with someone like that? Please!'

 

'Like that how exactly?' Liam snapped at him. 'What's wrong with Harry?' Zayn huffed.

 

'He's beneath him!' Zayn said exasperated.

 

'Really Zayn?' Liam asked him angrily. 'So love is all about material stuff now?' Zayn looked at Liam's angry face. He hated fighting with him.

 

'No its not. Of course its not but in this case....'

 

'In this case nothing!' Liam stopped him. 'They are just two people Zayn. They met and something has started. Neither will know what will come out of it until they try. Who knows? Maybe despite their social and financial differences they will make it work. Maybe they are soul mates. Maybe it will fall apart before it even begins. Maybe this is the beginning of a great love story or a doomed one. We don't know and they don't know either but they need to be given a chance.'

 

'Zayn when did your boy get so sappy?' Niall joked and Zayn was quick to flip him off.

 

'He's always been sappy and romantic I'll have you know,' Zayn told him as he snuggled closer to Liam and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Liam was still pouting so Zayn peppered his face with tiny kisses and tickled his sides till Liam had no choice but laugh. When Zayn was done tickling him, Liam stroked his cheek, looking into his gorgeous eyes.

 

'So what do you say love?' Liam whispered against Zayn's lips. 'Shall we give this Louis a chance?' Zayn pursed his lips as if he was deep in thought.

 

'One one condition,' he finally told Liam. Liam narrowed his eyes at him.

 

'And what might that be?' Liam asked him.

 

'I get to top for the next week straight,' Zayn told him with a smirk. Liam playfully slapped him on the arm.

 

'You drive a hard bargain but for Harry's happiness I will be your bottom for the next week.' Zayn grinned at him.

 

'Okay then. We'll give Mr. Tomlinson a chance,' Zayn told him before diving in to capture Liam's lips in a passionate kiss.

 

'Get a room,' Nick scoffed. They pulled apart, smiling, Zayn's arm around Liam's shoulder holding him close. Liam patted Nick's arm.

 

'Nick I know you like him. Maybe more than like him. And I am well aware that you are hurting and that's why you're lashing out at him trying to hurt him back but don't. He loves you as his best friend and he never ever led you on. It's not his fault you fell for him and trust me, Harry doesn't like it that you're hurting because of this. We just have to let him have this chance with Louis and we have to be prepared to pick up the pieces should it end wrong for Harry. We have to be there for him especially you Nick.' Nick glared at Liam.

 

'Why should I though? He's going into this blindly. What he gets is what he deserves.' Liam tsked at Nick.

 

'You don't mean that Nicky. You should because you love him. We all should. That's what friends do, be there for each other. And yes, he might be going into it blindly but he's just following his heart. We can' begrudge him that for selfish reasons now can we?' They all looked at one another, taking in Liam's words.

 

'No we can't,' Zayn finally agreed with him.

 

'I'm up for it,' Niall said. They all looked at Nick who seemed to be thinking about what Liam had just said.

 

'Hell okay,' he finally said, throwing his hands up as if in surrender. 'What the fuck ever. I'll try my best to keep sane watching him love someone else.'

 

'Aww,' they all cooed as they crowded around him, hugging him tightly, letting him know they got him too and if Nick silently cried, nobody needed to know.

 

 

X

 

Harry left the University campus late afternoon. He had some work to do on the computer and since his laptop was totally crap, he decided to stay at the library and use the hi-tech ones there. He had been glad of the quiet time because he had a lot of thinking to do after his talk with his friends. Still, their argument did not deter him from what he wanted. He knew he wanted Louis. He had text Louis a while a go but so far he had gotten no reply.

 

As he made his way outside, it was almost already dark even though it was just past 4 pm. Harry had one more thing to do before today was over, then he looked forward to a hot shower, a microwave dinner and get cozy on the sofa with Netflix. Today was Friday so he could afford to stay up a little later than usual. He decided to head towards Garlands now and get it over and done with. He knew that Adam would be there by the time he got there so it would be a great time to talk to him before the other strippers would arrive.

 

When he got on the train, he text Louis again, telling him that he was on his way to Garlands to inform Adam that he would not be working there anymore. Harry tapped send and smiled to himself. Louis would be happy. Louis would be proud of him but then self doubt reared up its ugly head. He knew that after he did this, he will have no job, which meant he couldn't pay rent or his tuition. Which meant he would have to relay on Louis to find him a job, a job that Louis wanted and deemed good for him. But what if it wasn't? What if it was some job Harry didn't want or like? How could he say no to Louis? He already felt he had to be grateful to him and he already felt like he was depending on Louis when Louis wasn't even his boyfriend! He could leave him anytime and this sent fear into Harry's stomach. If he left him, Harry would be with no job, hardly any friends since they were pissed off at him and that would leave him stranded in life all alone. He took a deep breath to calm his anxiety over things that had not happened yet or might not even happen.

 

There's a possibility they will.

 

Yes, he knew that but he chose not to think about it. He knew maybe he was being really stupid giving himself over so completely to a man who was so complex but deep down in Harry's gut, he knew it would be okay and that Louis wouldn't just leave him high and dry with nothing. Louis might be a mystery and a complicated one at that and Harry knew that he knew nothing about him especially his private life but one thing he knew for sure was that Louis was kind. Hidden behind that tough exterior of his, Louis was full of kindness. So why did Harry all of a sudden feel like he was a charity case?

 

Harry got off a Leicester Square station and hurried up the stairs to street level. He carefully crossed the roads making his way past the Queen's Theater and the French House Wine bar till he got to Hopkins Street where Garland's was situated. He took a deep breath and went round the back to the entrance the strippers and staff used. He made his way inside the warm club thankful to be out of the cold and made his way past the small kitchen and into the main area heading towards Adam's office. He tapped lightly on the door and heard a faint come in so he pushed the door open to find Adam sitting at his desk. He looked up from the stack of papers in front of him and smiled at Harry.

 

'Harry darling what brings you here so early?' Adam asked him.

 

'I um need to talk to you,' he told him, walking further into the office.

 

'Sit sit,' Adam told him flapping a hand towards the chairs in front of his desk. Harry sat down heavily in the chair knowing that his news wasn't going to go down well with Adam. 'So, my favorite stripper what can I do for you?' Harry fidgeted with his fingers and chewed on his lower lip then thought : What Would Louis Do? Louis would do this right away, with no feelings attached because it was a decision that needed to be taken.

 

'I quit,' Harry told him right out, feeling emboldened by the fact that this club was part owned by Louis and that Louis had his back and if that Adam forced him to stay, Louis would take care of it. Adam's eyes went wide with shock at this unexpected news.

 

'What?' he screamed at him. 'What the fuck are you talking about? You can't just quit when you have a show in less than 7 hours.'

 

'I'm sorry Adam I can't work here anymore,' Harry told him calmly. Adam ran a hand through his hair tugging at it in frustration.

 

'Harry you can't do this to me! Do you know how much money you make this club? I cannot let you go.' Harry sighed.

 

'I'm really sorry Adam but....'

 

'Did Louis put you up to this hmmm? Did he? I have a fucking feeling he did. I mean he fucking paid for you for me to give you a day off.' Harry blinked and looked at him in surprise. Adam saw the surprised look on his face and laughed. 'Oh he didn't tell you did he? He didn't tell you that he paid the amount you made in a night which is 3500 pounds just for me to give you the evening off cos he wanted you? Oh my fucking God you poor naive little boy.' Harry swallowed thickly. So Louis had actually paid for him to take him out to dinner? When Adam saw the confused look on his face, he continued:

 

'You've fallen for him haven't you? And Louis being Louis wants to own you at any cost so he made you quit working here because he wants you all to himself. Typical! He does that you know with his new play things. He is a selfish man Harry. Wants his toys all to himself and doesn't like sharing. I have known Louis a long long time and you are just another one of his conquests. Until he's done playing with you and throws you away. Then what? What did he promise you huh?' Adam leaned back in his chair and watched Harry. There was a conflict going on inside of him. There where two ways he could go about doing this. Listen to what everyone was saying to him about Louis or listen to Louis. Harry looked at Adam.

 

'I'm just going to go and clean out my locker yeah. I would appreciate it if you could have my last pay cheque ready.' Harry got up to leave.

 

'You are a fool Harry. Before next week is over you will be back here begging your job back,' Adam spat him him angrily. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I hope you will find some one to replace me and makes you the same amount of money I have. Bye Adam.' Harry walked out the door closing the door softly behind him but not before hearing Adam curse him to hell. Harry rested his back against the wall in the dim corridor and let out a long drawn breath. So Louis had actually bought him for 3500 pounds to go out with him? Harry didn't know if he should take that as a compliment or feel insulted. He decided to not think too deeply about it. He was sure Louis had his reasons. He reckoned if he paid that amount of money for Harry to take him to a cheap restaurant, a tube ride, to a bar and a walk, then he must be really worth it.

 

Harry pushed himself off the wall and walked towards the large dressing room area he shared with the other strippers. He hoped that it would be empty so he could just get in, grab his stuff and leave but alas,it wasn't. Some of them were already there as was Zayn. When Zayn saw him walk in he went over towards him.

 

'Hey are you alright? You left quite abruptly at lunch today and we haven't seen you since. Don't mind Nick so much yeah. You know how he is,' Zayn told him quietly. Harry shrugged and walked over to his locker, Zayn following behind. 'So are you alright?' Zayn pressed. Harry looked at him.

 

'I just quit. I'm not working here anymore,' he told Zayn and watched his eyes grow wide and his mouth open.

 

'What? Why?' Harry shrugged again not sure whether he should tell him that Louis had told him to quit but he decided he would give him a partial truth.

 

'Louis has offered to get me another job,' he said quietly as he began pulling out his stuff and putting it in his bag. Zayn leaned against the lockers and folded his arms across his chest, scrutinizing Harry.

 

'That's awfully kind of him,' he told him a little sarcastically which wasn't lost on Harry. Harry stopped what he was doing and huffed.

 

'Not all that he does has bad intentions Zayn. I never liked this job anyway. I did it for the money and if he can get me a decent job where I don't have to strip and have men get horny for me, then I'm grateful.' He paused and looked at Zayn. 'No offense to you all by the way. I just never felt good doing this. So yeah.' Zayn licked his lips and nodded.

 

'He's controlling you already. He is all about control Harry,' Zayn pointed out. Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance.

 

'Let it go Zayn. If he's controlling me its because I'm giving him permission to. You don't have to like it or agree with it. Nobody has to but me.' Before Zayn could reply a few of the other strippers crowded around Harry.

 

'Hey asshole,' Ryan said. Harry turned around slowly and looked at him to see if he was addressing him which he soon realized that he was. 'Do you think you're some kind of hot shot ha? Success went to your head?' Harry looked at him in confusion.

 

'Excuse me?' he asked. Ryan slammed the newspaper against Harry's chest and immediately Harry knew what this was about.

 

'You think you're his favorite now? You think you're something special just because he took you out?' Ryan sneered at him. Harry swallowed hard.

 

'No..I um...I d-don't,' Harry stammered. Ryan smirked at him.

 

'Well you shouldn't. Most of us have been where you are with Mr. Tomlinson. So I hope you are not making a big deal out of this. You're just his new shiny toy. Enjoy it while he's got his attention on you but just so you know, the day he took you out on this farce of a date, just before he picked you up, he was balls deep inside me.' Ryan saw the shocked look on Harry's face and he laughed out loudly. 'Oh poor lover boy! Did you think you might ever be the only one for him? Oh how sweet oh my God. Aww you're so endearing,' Ryan mocked him. Harry felt the earth beneath his feet about to shatter and swallow him whole. He began to feel dizzy and his vision went a little blurry. He didn't want to cry in front of them. He just had to get home. Ryan folded his arms across his chest, knowing that he was hurting Harry.

 

'Just know that he will never let me go,' he told Harry. 'I give him what he needs and I'm good at it. Just because you signed an NDA doesn't make you special to him. So don't think he's going to commit to you or be monogamous. You're just another pretty boy he wants to fuck.'

 

'Okay enough Ryan,' Zayn told him. Harry blinked at Ryan. What could he possibly say to him that would measure up to what Ryan had just said? Louis had fucked Ryan before picking him up and had paid for the date he had taken him on. But there was one thing Ryan had said.....

 

'I haven't signed an NDA,' Harry told him softly and now it was his turn to watch the confusion and surprise on Ryan's face.

 

'What?' he barked out at him. Okay, so was he supposed to have signed this NDA and why hadn't Louis asked him to like apparently he had done to the others?

 

'I haven't signed any NDA,' Harry repeated only to watch Ryan ground his teeth together and his hands ball up into fists but Ryan shrugged.

 

'He will make you sign one. All of us have so do not for one second think you are special to him,' Ryan spat at him before turning and walking away, the others following him suit. Harry looked at Zayn.

 

'Did you know about this?' he asked him calmly. Zayn took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'Yeah some of them have signed this NDA with Louis. I don't know why of course. Hasn't he asked you to sign one?' Harry shook his head.

 

'No. At least not yet,' he told him a little sadly. He got the last of his belongings out of the locker, closed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. 'See you Monday,' he told him as he walked out of the club. As soon as he was outside, he took in a few deep breaths to calm his rising panic. Just then his phone rang. He pulled it out and saw that it was Louis.

 

'Hey,' Harry answered.

 

'Hey stranger,' Louis told him and Harry could feel the smile in his voice. It warmed his heart. 'How was your day? I apologize for not returning your texts but I was very busy with meetings all day.'

 

'Its okay,' Harry told him quietly as he navigated through the streets of Soho on his way to the tube station.

 

'What is it Harry?' Louis asked him instantly picking up on his quiet tone.

 

Tuned in to him are we?

 

Harry sighed. 'Its nothing. Just been an...over emotional day.'

 

'Tell me,' Louis told him in that commanding voice of his. Harry pressed the button at the traffic lights waiting for the red lights to turn to green.

 

'I just quit my job,' he said softly. He heard Louis breathe....in relief?

 

'You have,' he said. It wasn't a question but a fact.

 

'Yeah,' Harry whispered. Louis didn't reply right away.

 

'Where are you?' he asked him.

 

'Just left the club and I'm heading home. I'm tired, wet, cold and hungry,' he chuckled into the phone.

 

'Okay,' Louis replied. 'Go home, have a hot shower and I'll be by later with dinner.' He paused. 'I mean if I can come over?' he asked as an after thought. Harry felt his heart flutter.

 

'Of course you can. Thank you,' Harry told him.

 

'What would you like for dinner?' Louis asked him. Harry smiled.

 

'You decide. I'm not picky with food.' He heard Louis laugh.

 

'Right. I will be there sometime after 8 pm. See you later.'

 

'See you later,' Harry replied as they hung up.

 

 

At around 8:35 pm, Louis stepped out of his car on Edgware Road and told Angus to go home. He walked over to Harry's apartment block and pressed the intercom buzzer of apartment number 2.

 

'Who is it?' Harry's crackled voice came through the intercom.

 

'Who else?' Louis said and soon the door was buzzed open and he made his way inside and up to the second floor of the building where he found the door to Harry's apartment already open. He pushed the door wider and stepped inside, closing it behind him. The apartment was dark save for a small light in the kitchen, the telly and a few candles. He saw Harry sitting on the sofa, legs tucked up under him and a fuzzy blanket over him. Louis placed the basket containing their dinner on the kitchen counter and walked over to the sofa, plopping down next to Harry. Harry kept his eyes glued to the telly and Louis could tell he was upset over something or sad or frustrated. He could tell it was something but didn't know which. He scooted closer to Harry and felt the urgent need to cuddle him.

 

Seriously? You cuddle him? You don't even know the meaning of the word cuddle let alone actually do any cuddling!

 

Louis ignored his annoying subconscious but Harry looked awfully soft in his woolly lavender jumper and fuzzy socks that peeked out from underneath the blanket, his hair up in a messy bun and smelling of laundry fabric softener and some kind of deodorant.

 

'What are you watching?' Louis asked him, trying to get his attention because Louis didn't like to be ignored.

 

'How to get away with murder,' Harry replied still keeping his eyes on the telly. Louis smiled.

 

'Thinking of murdering someone or am I going to have to murder someone for you?' Louis asked him playfully. Harry turned to look at him, a smile on his face.

 

'No,' he said quietly. Louis placed his hand on his thigh.

 

'What went wrong today?' Louis asked him. Harry chewed his bottom lip nervously and Louis knew that he did that when he wanted to tell him something and was debating on whether to tell him, how much to tell him or not tell him at all. 'Harry,' Louis snapped in his commanding voice. 'You can tell me anything.' Harry made a quick mental note of what he could tell him and what he wouldn't out of all that happened today.

 

'D-did you really p-pay Adam all the money I- I make in a night just t-to take me out?' Harry asked him in a low voice because this had bothered him. He needed to know Louis' reasons for doing this. He wasn't going to tell him about what Ryan said though. That he would keep to himself. Louis sighed.

 

'Yes I did,' he told him.

 

'Why?' Harry asked him. Louis ran a hand through his quiffed hair messing it up.

 

'Because Harry, I really wanted to take you to dinner and Adam was being a dick about it saying he wouldn't let you simply because you earned him a lot of money. I didn't like the way he was using you. And I already told you. I'm a selfish man who gets what he wants one way or another. I wanted you with me that evening and yeah I paid Adam the money you made the night before just so he would shut the fuck up and give you the night off.' Harry pondered on his reply, chewing again on his bottom lip. Louis waited for him to say something.

 

You fucked up!

 

'Are you mad?' Louis asked him. 'I mean there's no need for you to be mad. I think you should be flattered really. I never did this kind of thing for anyone before,' Louis told him honestly.

 

Wow boosting your self ego much?

 

Harry looked at him and gave him a small smile. 'I'm not mad. It just felt weird being paid for ones company.' Harry stopped and let it hang. Louis grit his teeth together.

 

'The way you said it you make it sound like I paid for a whore. Don't ever think that you hear? Don't ever think of yourself that way. You are not my fucking whore!' he growled.

 

'I know,' Harry said quietly not wanting Louis to get mad at him.

 

'But you think it!' Louis pressed. Harry placed his handover Louis'.

 

'I thought it I admit when Adam told me but after I heard your version of it, I don't think it. I-I kinda feel......' Harry looked down and felt his cheeks heat up.

 

'Feel what?' Louis asked him. Harry raised his eyes to look at Louis.

 

'I feel special,' he told him in a soft voice. Louis smiled and felt his heart soar.

 

'You should because you are,' he told him softly. Harry blushed furiously under Louis words and Louis smiled because he saw the effect. 'Anything else that has made you feel less special today that you want to talk to me about?' Louis asked him gently. Harry wanted to so much tell him about how hurt he was about his friend's reactions when he had told them about Louis but he didn't want to hurt him by telling him that they thought this was a very bad idea and how Louis was only using him. He wanted to tell him about all that Ryan had said and about the NDA but he knew that he would get Ryan in trouble if he told Louis. Louis would probably go to Garland's and fire him. Harry chose to keep it all to himself.

 

'No,' Harry told him quietly. Louis moved in closer and he could feel Harry's body heat and smell his scent and Louis wanted to devour him. He stroked his thigh.

 

'Can I show you just how special I think you are?' Louis asked him in a husky voice not breaking eye contact with Harry. Harry gulped suddenly feeling nervous.

 

'O-okay,' he stammered out. Louis gave him a smile and leaned in closer capturing his delicious lips in to a passionate kiss. Harry was quick to part his lips for Louis, permitting him entrance into his mouth and as soon as his tongue slipped inside Harry's mouth, Harry moaned softly. Louis felt Harry's body tremble lightly. Louis knew what he wanted. He wanted to taste Harry. He wanted to see his beautiful orgasm face. Louis wasn't one for giving head. He was more good at receiving but with Harry everything was different. Harry made him different. Louis broke the kiss and looked at Harry's flushed face. How did he manage to look fucked out from just a kiss? Louis' body vibrated just from the thought of how Harry would look after being thoroughly fucked.

 

Louis stroked his cheek. 'Can I taste you Harry?' Louis asked him, his voice low. Harry's heart stuttered in his chest and sped up, beating rapidly against his sternum. He had never had anyone give him head before but he had dreamed about this for so long even though he felt shy to be exposed to Louis. Nevertheless, he nodded at Louis having lost his ability to speak. Louis stood up and removed his jacket and loosened his tie all the while looking down at flushed Harry. His innocence made Louis want to corrupt him so bad but not in a bad way.

 

Keep telling yourself that. You know you will ruin him in the end.

 

Louis felt a twinge of doubt about what he was going to do. He knew he would draw Harry deeper into this and maybe dig himself even more deeper but at this point he was willing to go with the flow. He looked at Harry who was looking up at him expectantly, those plump red lips parted and Louis could already make out his semi in his sweat pants. Louis could feel his own dick fattening up in his suit pants but right now he wanted to concentrate on Harry. He wanted to do this right. He didn't want this to be about him but about Harry.

 

'Lie back,' Louis ordered and Harry was quick to lie back down on the sofa. 'I don't want you touching me while I blow you,' Louis instructed him and Harry only nodded. Louis commenced to take off his Gucci leather belt, fingering the soft black leather between his fingers.

 

You really want to take that belt to him don't you? Whip that virginal ass till be cries and begs you to stop.

 

Louis felt a sweat break out all over his body. He wouldn't do this to Harry. Not in a million years.

 

'Arms above your head,' Louis commanded and Harry was quick to obey, raising both his arms above his head over the arm rest of the sofa. Louis reached over and wrapped the belt around his wrists, tightening it.

 

'Ahh,' Harry groaned. Louis watched his face, his body language for any sign of discomfort but Harry was pliant. He was waiting, the semi in his pants now tenting his sweatpants.

 

'Don't lower your arms. For nothing. Do you understand?' Louis ordered. Harry nodded slightly, pressing his lips into a tight line. Louis knew that he had tightened the belt a little too much. He needed it. He needed to give a little pain.

 

Of course you do. You need your pain fix anyway you can get it.

 

Louis grit his teeth together, clamping them down hard till his jaw ached. I. Won't. Hurt. Him!

 

'Answer me,' Louis told him. Louis needed for Harry to understand that he didn't want to be touched during this. He was going to do it his way at his pace and not risk having Harry grab his head and choke him on his dick.

 

'Y-yes Sir,' Harry replied and Louis was internally grateful that Harry knew when and when not to call him Sir. He had picked up on the fact that during physical contacts, Louis was addressed to as Sir. Louis sat beside Harry's thighs and tapped his hip.

 

'Lift,' he told him and Harry obliged by lifting his hips off the sofa as Louis hooked his fingers into the waistband of his sweats and pulled them all the way down his long legs till they were off and he threw them on to the carpet. When he looked back at Harry, he just had to smile. The boy was still wearing his lavender jumper, his fuzzy socks and a pair of Captain America boxer briefs, his hands tied above his head with his leather belt. Louis felt so endeared by the vision before him, felt his stomach flutter wildly and a weird attachment to this beautiful innocent creature who was at his mercy.

 

'Cute,' Louis complimented him as he ran his hands slowly up his thighs making Harry shiver and goosebumps to break out along his creamy pale skin. Harry gulped and bucked up his hips. Louis shook his head at him.

 

'You do not get to thrust up your hips. Do you understand? You will not thrust up your hips.' Harry nodded. 'Use your words!' he told him sternly, making Harry flinch.

 

'Yes S-sir,' Harry squeaked out. His whole body felt as if it was going to blow up. Louis leaned over him and kissed him softly, his tongue pushing inside Harry's mouth claiming him. His hand moved underneath Harry's sweater until Louis found his nipple. He tweaked it a little harshly between his thumb and fore finger making Harry arch his back off the sofa and let out a strangled cry.

 

Remember the boy has never been touched before. He's not one of your whores. Go easy on him.

 

Louis was a little bit out of his element here. He never fore played so this was new territory to him and he wasn't even sure he was doing it right. He decided to go straight to the task at hand. His hands roamed down Harry's body until they rested on the elastic waistband of his boxers. Without having being told to, Harry raised his hips and Louis pulled them down to mid-thigh. Immediately his dick sprang free, thick and hard, slapping against his stomach. Louis admired this beautiful boy with the rather big cock.

 

'Hmm,' he hummed in approval. 'Very well endowed.' By now Harry's face was burning red. He felt shy, never having been exposed this way to someone, having someone see him naked but he yearned for Louis' touch. He knew that Louis probably did this with his other boys, that his wasn't the first dick he's seen, that this was nothing new to Louis. He knew that Louis was probably just using him and he was giving him right what he wanted. He felt Louis' hand on his cheek.

 

'Hey are you with me? We can stop if.......'

 

'No Sir,' Harry replied, his voice deep and thick. Harry realized that Louis had noticed him mentally wander off but his mind wouldn't shut up and his body was reacting out of control.

 

'Okay then,' Louis told him softly as he placed another kiss to his plump lips. He never told Harry again to tell him to stop if he needed to. As selfish as he was, he knew that Harry would never stop him. Louis wrapped a fist around Harry's dick and began pumping him slowly. Harry closed his eyes and moaned. By the way he was already leaking pre-cum, Louis reckoned it would be a very short and quick blow job but somehow, he wanted to make it good for Harry. After all, if he made it good, Harry would want more and only God knew there was so much more that Louis wanted to do to this boy.

 

Louis leaned down over Harry's dick and blew on it making the boy groan louder and pull at the restrains holding his wrists together. Harry's mind was lost. He couldn't concentrate on anything besides Louis' lips in such close proximity to his dick which was why he bucked up into Louis' fist when he felt his warm breath on his dick.

 

'Did I not tell you to keep your hips still?' Louis snapped at him and without even knowing it, his hand came down harshly on Harry's thigh, the smack resounding all around the quiet apartment. Louis stood stock still when he realized what he had done. His eyes found Harry's and they were wide with shock.

 

Hate to say it...but I fucking told you so. You can't control that beast inside of you not even with him.

 

Louis tried to open his mouth to say something but what could he say? How could he apologize for what he was used to? He saw his red hand print on Harry's thigh and he didn't like it. He didn't like the feeling that it gave him.

 

'It's alright,' Harry whispered when he saw Louis debating on what he did. 'I deserved it.' Louis looked at him and wanted to scream out to him that no, he didn't deserve it and that he was sorry and that he was all fucked up inside but he didn't know how to be otherwise and God knows he was trying...trying to be gentle and good.

 

'You did deserve it,' was all that he told him. 'Next time obey me when I tell you to do something.' Having control over the situation didn't make him feel better though. Harry just nodded. Louis smoothed his hand on the thigh he had smacked hoping to ease some of the sting. He lowered his head again and before he took Harry into his mouth, he told him:

 

'Don't move and whatever you do, do not come in my mouth. Two things you should know about me. I never bottom and I never swallow.' He didn't wait to see Harry nod before he was down on him, licking at the swollen leaking head. He heard Harry gasp loudly and Louis smiled. He took the head into his mouth and sucked hard, running his tongue over his slit. He could feel Harry tremble and making all these moaning and groaning sighs. To be on the safe side, Louis placed both his hands on Harry's hips to keep him pinned down. He wasn't having his mouth fucked. He was alright with giving head to Harry but he wasn't going to let Harry fuck his mouth.

 

Harry was going crazy. With his hands tied and his hips being held down and Louis mouth on him, he felt as if he would pass out any minute from the overwhelming sensations he was feeling. He felt Louis' hot mouth engulf him and swallow him down, sucking and licking him and Harry wanted, needed to push his hips up to get more, more, more. He felt the tears fill his eyes and roll down the sides of his face as Louis continued to work on him. He began to feel that feeling, the tightness in his abdomen and the tingling in his spine, his thighs starting to shake from the immense effort it was taking him not to move when his body was telling him to move.

 

'L-L-Louis.....' he groaned out, his throat dry and hoarse. 'I-I'm cl-close please Louis,' Harry begged round a sob that left his parted lips. Louis lifted his mouth off Harry and Harry nearly cried at the loss of contact. He felt his orgasm hold off yet his body needed it. 'Please please,' he begged again.

 

'Shh shh I'm gonna make you come don't worry,' Louis reassured him as he once again wrapped a fist around Harry's hard dick. He began to pump him fast and hard. 'You can move your hips now,' Louis told him and immediately Harry began thrusting up into Louis' tight fist frantically and Louis pumped him even harder. Louis kept his eyes on Harry's face.

 

'I'm- I'm oh God,' Harry mumbled.

 

'Let go. Come for me. Let me see you,' Louis urged him on and that was it for Harry. He felt his orgasm being ripped out of him as he came hard all over Louis' hand and his tummy, painting his lavender jumper with hot streaks of white. His body shook as Louis continued to pump him through it until Harry lay spent on the sofa, panting hard, his heart jack rabbiting in his chest. Louis watched his body convulse with after shocks, his messy bun came loose, his face flushed, lips parted and his arms still over his head tied with his belt. Louis leaned over him and kissed him softly, then plucked out a tissue from the box on the coffee table and wiped his hand. He reached for his arms and pulled them down, unfastening the belt. As soon as he did, he noticed the two red welts around Harry's wrists. Dammit, he had tied the belt too hard. He massaged them for him, trying to get the blood circulating again but didn't miss Harry's face twisting up in a wince as Louis rubbed them.

 

Some habits are hard to break.

 

'Are you alright?' Louis asked him gently, still massaging his wrists and Harry gave him a lazy smile, his eyes drooping shut.

 

'I can't feel my body,' he told him in a slow drawl. Louis chuckled.

 

'Result of a good orgasm. Did I hurt your wrists?'

 

'No,' Harry told him, his eyes now fully closed and Louis just had to smile at him.

 

'I need you to go and shower. I will warm up dinner okay.' Harry opened his eyes a little.

 

'Look who's all domestic,' he pointed out and Louis just had to smile at him again like a goofy idiot.

 

'Only for you,' he told him as he leaned over and pecked his lips again. He stood up and helped Harry up too making sure he was able to stand on his wobbly legs. He had really long legs and Louis loved them. He noticed that his hand print was fading slowly. 'Don't be long in the shower okay.' Harry nodded and went off in the direction of the bathroom.

 

After 15 minutes he was back in the lounge in a fresh new pair of black sweat pants, an over sized maroon University of London sweater and black fuzzy socks, his hair up in a bun. He walked over into the kitchen where Louis was dishing out food onto plates. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist from behind and placed his chin on his shoulder. Louis froze and Harry felt him tense. Louis had never been held like this before. This was intimate. Harry made to move away because he realized that maybe this was too much for Louis.

 

'Don't,' Louis told him softly and Harry resumed his position.

 

'Hmm smells good,' Harry commented.

 

'Not half as good as you do,' Louis told him. Harry chuckled and placed a kiss behind Louis' ear. Louis tried not to stiffen again. He had to admit that he liked this, this new feeling he was getting from Harry. He had never ever had this with any of his boys or those with which he had had a short time fling.

 

Louis wiggled out of his grasp and turned to face him. 'Can you bring in the glasses of wine I already poured while I bring in the plates?' he asked Harry and Harry nodded, picking up the two glasses half full of red wine. He followed Louis into the lounge and he sat the plates on the table. Harry placed the glasses and sat down. Louis sat down next to him as he toed off his black leather Roberto Cavalli moccasin. He looked at Harry with a raised eyebrow.

 

'So are we going to watch some more How to get away with murder while we eat?' Harry gave him a beatific smile as he pulled the blanket over both their thighs and pressed play on the remote while Louis passed him a plate.

 

 

And nobody had to know how Louis was having the time of his life, sitting in a shabby apartment on Edgware Road, eating takeout on a couch, watching a tv show which he had never done in his whole life, while he sat beside the most beautiful boy he had ever laid eyes on as he talked while eating bringing Louis up to speed on the whole plot of the series.

 

COMING VERY SOON CHAPTER 7......................


	7. We're Only Getting Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Well since today I am off work and have a free day, I decided to upload another chapter for you lovely people. I love this chapter a lot and I am truly in love with Marc. Hope you all like it. Thanks much for the hits and kudos. You are all stars.  
> All the love M.

We're Only Getting Closer

 

 

Harry loved his Saturdays. He had a routine especially for Saturdays that he liked to stick to and today was no different. At 6 am sharp, he stepped out of his apartment on to the still sleepy and empty Edgware Road. It was still dark out but Harry loved this time of the morning where the world was still asleep but dawn was not too far off. He loved the silence of the still sleepy city, with no traffic, pedestrians rushing about their daily life or the busy cafes, restaurants and shops. There was only the occasional car that went by besides the garbage trucks and the street cleaners doing their jobs before the city came to life.

 

He stood for a moment on the sidewalk and inhaled the cold, crisp morning air into his lungs and exhaled slowly, feeling happy and relaxed. His mind was peaceful as was his soul and he appreciated the city being on pause for a while as it slept. Harry shivered. It was cold, the temperature must be somewhere below zero. He was glad that he had dressed up warmly in his white leggings, black Nike shorts, Randy's Donut gray hoodie, gloves and beanie. He decided to pull up his hoodie hood over the beanie. He pressed play on his mp4 and set off for his morning run, running the length of Edgware Road towards Marble Arch, then crossing the road into Hyde Park. The park was empty and shrouded in a wet, clingy fog that made the park look a little eerie. It was silent save for the crows that lived there, cawing loudly as they greeted the first light of another brand new day.

 

His feet pounded hard on the concrete walkways as he ran, music in his ears, heart pounding fast and furious in his chest. His mind went to Louis and he couldn't help the smile on his face or the fluttering in the pit of his stomach. Yesterday he had gotten his first blow job and it had been fantastic and he couldn't wait for Louis to do it again. He had also been very happy to get to spend a very domestic and quite normal evening with Louis, eating dinner and watching the telly. Harry chuckled to himself as he remembered Louis asking a million question about How To Get Away With Murder, then adding his comments which were mostly sarcastic. He had never imagined Louis to be quite so domestic and he probably wasn't. He probably had maids and servants to assist to him but yesterday he had been and that was all that mattered to Harry.

 

As Harry ran and the sky began to lighted up, excitement crept slowly into him at the thought of going to Louis' party tonight. He was equally worried and scared because this was a high society party and he knew he was nowhere near high society. His mind drifted to his closet and he cringed inwardly because he had nothing to wear that was mostly acceptable to this sort of party. He mentally stopped himself short because these parties tended to come with a dress code and Louis never told him what he should wear. Did he need a suit? But he didn't have a suit. Okay he could maybe ask Zayn or Liam to let him borrow one, if they were still talking to him. Harry made a mental note to call Louis and ask him what he should wear.

 

Harry ran on down North Carriage drive then cut across to West Carriage drive and over the bridge that cut across The Serpentine. The fog had lifted a little and he could now see the beauty of Hyde Park around him. The light of day was gray and he knew it would be another rainy day but Harry loved his winter. He came out on the south side of the park on the southern part of Kensington High Street, not aware that Louis actually lived in Kensington. Harry ran back on the roads outside of the park, taking his time to make the hour long run just in time to get him to Starbucks on Oxford Street which would be opening up by the time he usually got there and today was no exception. He pushed the glass door open, breathing heavily from his run but inhaling the wonderful aroma of coffee, which he badly needed. He walked up to the counter and was happy to see that Mitch was behind the counter. Mitch usually did the weekend morning shift and he and Harry had become somewhat friends.

 

'Hey Mitch,' Harry greeted him. Mitch turned to him and gave him a small smile. Mitch wasn't much of a smiler and people usually thought him weird but he wasn't really. He was just one of those people who didn't like to mingle much. One time when he had been on the evening shift and Harry had made a run into Starbucks for a late coffee, he had been there and they had had a coffee and talked for a while and Harry had taken a liking to Mitch because Mitch was friendly. He was just an introvert!

 

'Hey Harry,' Mitch replied. 'Back from your run?' Harry smiled widely at him.

 

'Yeah. Nice day out.' Mitch rolled his eyes at him.

 

'It's dismal. Again,' he pointed out and Harry only smiled wider.

 

'Its winter my friend,' he told him. Mitch sighed dramatically.

 

'Why can't I be working in a bar on a beach in Jamaica?' he whined and Harry laughed.

 

'No dream is impossible if you aim for it and work had to make it come true,' Harry pointed out which made Mitch roll his eyes again.

 

'You and your positivity! What can I get you?'

 

'I'll uhm have a caffe misto grande with a sprinkle of cinnamon please.' Mitch nodded and set about preparing Harry's drink.

 

'How's Uni going?' Mitch asked him. Harry shrugged.

 

'S'ok I guess. Got exams coming up at the end of February so I'm revising hard.'

 

'All work and no play makes Harry a dull boy,' Mitch remarked and Harry laughed again.

 

'Oh Harry is playing don't you worry!' Mitch turned to look at him, narrowing his eyes at him as he placed the lid on his Starbucks take away cup.

 

'What's that supposed to mean? And what's that gleam in your eyes? Oh my God you met someone? You did didn't you? Spill.' Harry laughed loudly as he placed 5 pounds on the counter and picked up his warm cup.

 

'See you round Mitch,' he told him as he turned to go.

 

'Hey no you don't you little shit. Tell me. Who is it?' But Harry just waved and walked out of Starbucks on to Oxford Street. Harry began his walk home, sipping idly on his hot coffee and watching London stir and stretch and yawn to life. He felt at peace and happy.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis reminded himself for the millionth time why the fuck he had agreed to let Marc have his damn launch party at his house. He had said it would be a small gathering, a small group of people who would be taking part in the Spring launch....models, photographers, dressmakers and a few of his elite friends. What Marc failed to tell Louis was that this group amounted to over 200 people!

 

As Louis sat in the kitchen trying to read the newspaper and sipping his tea, Marc's assistant Fredrick was getting on his nerves with his high pitched voice ordering people around. At already 8 am the decorators started to transform his home into a typical Marc Jacobs launch party. The floor leading from the front door straight into his large hall was transformed into a catwalk that lit up when you walked on it. The color theme was all in black and white except for the made up catwalk which lit up a bright pink. Black and white balloons where put up everywhere. His banister leading upstairs was draped with black and white drooping chiffon held up with sliver beads and right at the top of the banister, the decorators hung up a sign in silver sparkles : MARC JACOBS SPRING/SUMMER 2017.

 

Louis rolled his eyes. Marc was all big or go home. He didn't know how to do small. Louis was fond on Marc though. They had had a thing for a while and during that time, Louis had gotten close to Marc. Not romantically but friendly. Marc was a tad older than him and somehow Louis ended up trusting the man. Now, he could safely say that Marc was the closest person he had to a friend. Marc knew a lot about him and Louis appreciated the fact that he kept it all to himself which made Louis trust him even more and occasionally talk to him about certain things.

 

Fredrick's shrill voice pierced through Louis' skull making him wince as he heard him deliver orders that the chairs and tables where to be draped in white gossamer fabric tied back with black chiffon ending at the back in a bow with a black sequined four leafed clover with inlaid silver Swarovski crystals. Louis shook his head. Who the fuck went through all this detailed shit to launch a new clothes collection?

 

Leonard walked in just then saving Louis from having to go out there and strangle Fredrick with his own bare hands.

 

'Sir, I will be heading out to pick up the birthday gifts you have instructed me to get. Is there anything else you need?' Leonard asked him. Just then Fredrick let out a high pierced scream.

 

'Can you please take that asshole to the gallows and have him drawn, quartered and disemboweled old English style?' Louis asked him, tossing his head back in the direction Fredrick was still screeching like a banshee at the decorators.

 

'If only I could Sir,' he told him with a smile and Louis had to smile back at him.

 

'You too huh?' Louis threw at him and Leonard nodded.

 

'He is quite....expressive vocally and tuned in to a very high pitch might I add,' Leonard said and it made Louis laugh loudly. 'I will be off then Sir if there is nothing else you need.'

 

'That will be all for the time being Leonard thank you. Just don't forget to meet Gerard at 10 am. You have the address right?,' Louis asked him.

 

'I do Sir. You don't need to worry about a thing. Everything is taken care of,' Leonard reassured him. Louis nodded at him.

 

'Thank you Leonard.'

 

Louis got up, picked up his cup of coffee and phone and made his way outside to his enormous back garden. It hadn't started to rain yet but it looked like it would anytime soon. He closed the door behind him, hoping it would shut off Fredrick and his annoying voice. He needed some peace and quiet. He could already feel a headache coming on but Harry was coming tonight and he was looking forward to having him in his house and introducing him to his friends.

 

Oh bringing him into the close knit circle are we?

 

Louis shrugged at his subconscious. So what? It didn't mean a thing.

 

Sure because you have had your other boys at your exclusive parties and introduced them to your friends. Of course its quite a normal thing you do!

 

Louis looked out over his beautiful garden even though at the moment it was stripped bare of flowers and colors but still it was beautiful and he loved it. What am I doing? he asked himself hoping his subconscious wouldn't hear and offer up its annoying opinions. But Louis wasn't so lucky. His subconscious was as ruthless and as controlling as he was.

 

Oh nothing much. Falling for the boy like a teenager and you don't even know what to do about it. You are barreling into him like a train wreck and where as you might survive the wreckage, he won't so don't be fucking selfish and think of him for once.

 

But Louis didn't want to hurt him. He knew that much. He didn't want to hurt him either physically or emotionally.

 

But that's the point! You will. You won't mean it or want to but you will because that's who you are and what you do! You want him but you can't give him what he WANTS! You want him on your own terms and conditions like you do with your business. Everything has to be on your own terms and conditions! Well wake up! He is not a fucking contract to sign and use as you see fit.

 

Louis wanted to argue with his subconscious that that wasn't the case. Couldn't his subconscious see that Harry was the only person in his life that wasn't offered to sign an NDA? That Louis would never make him sign one because he wanted......

 

You don't know what you want! Or maybe you vaugely do but you're too fucked up to have it. And if you do decide to go for it, you will fuck it up regardless because you wouldn't know what to do with it. You are not relationship material.

 

Louis sighed and drained the last of his coffee. Maybe his subconscious was right and he was just fooling himself into thinking there could ever be anything with Harry. He had too many secrets that he could not share and his past would always be in the way.

 

You can't have your cake and eat it too!

 

He knew that. He knew that perfectly well but he also knew that he was selfish and he wasn't going to let this go regardless of what his subconscious said. And there was no better way to shut his subconscious up than to hear Harry's voice. He swiped his phone and tapped Harry's number. He picked up after the second ring.

 

'Good morning,' Harry greeted him and Louis couldn't help but smile to himself.

 

'Good morning,' he replied as he relaxed into his chair. 'How's your Saturday going?' He heard Harry shuffle papers and take a deep breath.

 

'The usual,' he said into the phone.

 

'The usual as in?' Louis asked him, reminding Harry that he didn't know his schedule. Harry chuckled.

 

'Oh yeah sorry,' he told him realizing a little too late that Louis did not know what his usual Saturday was. 'Well I went for my morning run, stopped at Starbucks for my caffeine fix, came home, showered, made breakfast, put in a load of laundry and settled down with my huge amount of homework.'

 

'Hmm that sounds like a busy day. What are you working on?' Louis asked him genuinely interested in knowing all that he could about Harry.

 

Yes like you usually do when its regarding a business deal!

 

'I am working on a paper about Jane Eyre,' Harry told him. Louis scoffed.

 

'Jane Eyre? Never liked the story much. The pompous rich prick who hid a deep dark secret and preyed on the innocent naive Jane who didn't know any better and fell for the dick and he ended up hurting her!'

 

Sounds like someone we both know!

 

Harry chuckled. 'But her loved saved him. Even when she knew about his dark secret, yeah okay she was upset and ran away from him but she loved him too much to give up on him,' Harry argued.

 

Don't even start getting your hopes up. You are not Mr. Rochester!

 

Louis sighed. 'I think she was an idiot to stick around someone like him.'

 

'I think it was worth it,' Harry replied. 'Love wins. Always.' Louis swallowed as Harry's words did a strange thing to him. For the first time in his life, he was tongue tied. He coughed to clear his throat.

 

'So ugh you're still up for the party tonight right?' he asked Harry, changing the subject.

 

'Definitely!' Harry told him excitedly. 'You kinda reminded me that I wanted to ask you is there like a dress code? I mean....what should I wear?'

 

'Oh yeah about that,' Louis told him. 'Leonard is coming over. With clothes.' He heard Harry huff.

 

'Louisssss,' he whined into the phone and the way Harry whined out his name made Louis feel as if he was falling from great heights right into the clouds.

 

'Are you fucking pouting?' Louis asked him.

 

'Yes!' Harry told him still a hint of a whine in his voice. 'Because you shouldn't......'

 

'Are you gonna throw a hissy fit just because I sent you a suit?' Louis asked him in a stern voice but he wasn't angry at Harry. He was endeared by him.

 

'Its just.....' Harry began.

 

'Stop being difficult!' Louis warned him.

 

'Or you'll what?' Harry asked him seductively. Louis was a little bit shocked at his nerve, totally taken off guard because nobody had ever provoked him that way. He wasn't prepared for this.

 

'Or I'll come over and.....'

 

'Opps sorry its the buzzer. Someone's here. I'll call you back yeah,' Harry told him and hung up. Louis found himself listening to the beeping tone. He looked at his phone.

 

'The little shit,' he told himself with a smile. 'Did he just fucking hang up on me?'

 

 

x

 

 

Harry walked over to the intercom and pressed the button still clutching his phone.

 

'Who is it?' he asked.

 

'Hello Mr. Styles I am Leonard Mr. Tomlinson's assistant.....' Before he could finish, Harry buzzed the flat door open so he could come up then opened the door and waited for him to come up. In a few minutes, Leonard's head appeared as he climbed the stairs followed by another two men. Harry didn't know any of them. Leonard stopped on the landing and extended his hand to Harry.

 

'Mr. Styles it is a pleasure to make you acquaintance. I am Leonard. This is Gerard, Mr. Tomlinson's stylist and that's Trevor his assistant.' Harry felt confused as to why these people where here but he stepped aside and allowed them inside. He noticed that Gerard and Trevor were carrying stacks of dry cleaning black plastic bags.The three men walked inside the small apartment and looked at Harry. Harry looked from one to the other feeling awkward.

 

'Um why did ugh Lou... Mr. Tomlinson send you here again?' Harry asked them. Leonard smiled at him. He had a kind face and a friendly smile.

 

'Mr. Styles....'

 

'Please just Harry,' Harry interrupted him. Leonard nodded.

 

'Harry, Mr. Tomlinson sent us over, mostly Gerard to fit you with clothing for tonight's party.' Suddenly Harry remembered that Louis had mentioned a suit but gathering from what Gerard and his assistant were carrying its wasn't just A suit. It looked like plenty of suits! Gerard opened his bag and pulled out a measuring tape as his assistant placed all the items neatly on the back of the couch.

 

'May I?' Gerard asked him indicating to Harry if he could take his measurements. Harry nodded and let Gerard measure him. When he was done, he stepped back and looked at Harry, tapping his index finger against his lips taking in Harry's figure.

 

'Trevor,' he said still keeping his eyes on Harry. 'Gucci number 3 please. Now Mr. Styles, this is the latest from the Gucci men's collection.' Trevor unzipped the bag and pulled out a suit which he handed to Gerard which in turn he presented to Harry. 'This is in silk with a tiger jaquard against a dark blue base. I think the color suits your complexion. It has black silk faille lapels with half canvas construction, silk lining, peak lapel, front flap pockets and center back flap. The jacket is skinny fit with soft narrow shoulders and slim sleeves. The pants is tailored with a slightly cropped fit which will suit those long legs perfectly fine.' Gerard smiled at him but Harry only blinked because all he got from all the words that Gerard had just spoken where two words : Gucci and suit.

 

Gerard took his silence for not liking the suit. Gerard snapped his fingers at Trevor. 'Gucci number 6 Trevor please.' And Trevor handed Gerard another suit which he presented to Harry.

 

'Another Gucci. Ink blue wool gabardine with red silk bees. Jacket also comes with a half canvas construction, silk lining, notch lapel, front flap pockets and single vent. Pants are a skinny fit with back besom pockets. I also have a red Gucci silk Cambridge shirt to go underneath this suit.' Harry remained stock still staring at the man who kept mentioning Gucci over and over and again Gerard took that as a go ahead to show Harry more clothes.

 

'Okay if you do not wish a complete suit, we can make an ensemble. Trevor, Gucci number 2 please.' Trevor handed the item to Gerard. 'Here we have a black tiger jaquard pants with black silk faille, it has on seam pockets, back besom pockets and is a slightly cropped fit, 54% silk, 33% viscose and 13% polyester and it will definitely look so fine on those long legs. To go with it I would suggest this gorgeous shirt...Trevor Gucci number 8 please,' Gerard ordered and as soon as it was handed to him, he showed it to Harry .'The Duke shirt in cotton poplin embellished with embroidered dragon down the front and a floral applique that extends up and around the neck to create a garland effect. It has barrel cuffs and mother of pearl buttons. And might I suggest, whichever suit you choose to go with, these fabulous Gucci ankle boots with elongated toe will complete the ensemble perfectly. It has a green and red web strap across the front with a double G hardware and a side zipper. It is real leather of course.' Harry couldn't even close his mouth. Gerard looked across to Leonard for help because he was feeling like nothing was to Harry's liking and he had followed Mr. Tomlinson's orders and gotten all the latest from Gucci.

 

'Harry would you like to try on the items Gerard showed you just in case you need alterations?' Harry blinked and looked at Leonard.

 

'Can you um give me a second?' he told them as he walked over to the items spread out on the couch. Leonard, Gerard and Trevor stepped into the kitchen giving Harry some time. He fingered the items and looked at the price tags. The suit with the tiger was 2980 pounds which almost made him choke. Who the hell bought these types of suits? This one alone covered a whole semester of his university fees! The suit with the red bees was 2100 pounds. The red shirt was 709 pounds. The tiger pants was 1200 pounds. The Cambridge shirt was 820 pounds and the boots was 980 pounds! This was crazy and insane. He shopped from Primark for God's sake.

 

He pulled out his phone and dialed Louis who picked upon the second ring.

 

'So found a suit yet or did you call to apologize for hanging up on me?' Louis asked him cheerfully. Harry looked towards the kitchen where the three men where talking.

 

'You sent me Gucci,' Harry told him trying to keep his voice down so as not to be over heard.

 

'You prefer another designer?' Louis asked him. 'I thought Gucci had more fun suits for you. A little wacky perhaps.'

 

'Louisss,' Harry whined out his name. 'They are expensive!' Louis laughed.

 

'And your point being?'

 

'I cannot wear Gucci! Did you know there's a suit here that costs as much as a whole semester of my university?'

 

'And your point being?' Louis asked him again. Harry huffed in annoyance.

 

'Point being, I can't wear a Gucci. I can't let you spend this much on me!' Louis smiled to himself. At least the boy didn't like him for his money!

 

'Harry I can afford it. Pick one. Or two. Or all if you like them. I don't care,' Louis told him.

 

'Are you insane? How am I going to walk around in a two thousand nine hundred and eighty pound suit? What if I damage it? What if I drop something on it? Stain it?' Louis just had to laugh out loud again.

 

'I don't give a fuck if you burn it. I just want you to look good tonight okay. I want to treat you. Please let me.' Harry was shaking his head even though Louis could not see him.

 

'No. Louis you can't. I can't let you,' Harry told him firmly and Louis didn't like this. None of his boys ever refused gifts from him.

 

'Look Harry why are you being so fucking dramatic?' he asked him in a stern voice which made Harry recoil instantly. 'I really don't give two shits about money and you shouldn't either. I hate that you always have to come up against me when I want to do something for you, so hang up the fucking phone and go choose something you like. Surprise me.'

 

'Y-yes Sir,' Harry told him because he didn't want to disappoint Louis yet this didn't feel right.

 

'Thank you,' Louis told him gently. 'Angus will pick you up at 8 pm sharp okay. Now go. Have fun. Choose a nice suit. Knock yourself out.' Harry wanted to wrap his arms around Louis and hug him tightly because he was too kind.

 

'Thank you,' Harry whispered into the phone.

 

'Its my pleasure. See you tonight.' Louis hung up and Harry turned back to the three men in his kitchen, informing them that he was ready to try on a suit.

 

 

X

 

 

The house was full. Actually it was packed. Marc had gone all out with this shit show. He had even hired a DJ who Fredrick had set up in the dining room. Louis looked around as if expecting Fredrick to pop up and annoy him with that high pitched voice of his.The party had started half an hour ago and Louis was already tired of shaking hands with people in the business and models. He was happy that Kendall, Cara and Gigi had been able to come. They were three of Louis' favorite people. They were easy to talk to, fun, care free and didn't give much of a shit about what others thought about them. Especially Kendall, seeing she was a Kardashian and her mother was Cris! So it was expected for her to be a little on the wild side.

 

Louis took his place up exactly opposite the front door which was wide open allowing a flow of guests pouring into his house. Marc had arrived a while ago but he hadn't had the chance to talk to him yet seeing he went off to mingle with his friends and give Fredrick last minute orders. Louis smiled to himself. Marc was such a perfectionist and wanted things his way just like him, which was probably why they had remained friends after Louis had dumped him. He couldn't deny that Marc had been a good lover though he was never one of his boys. Still, to this day Marc never stopped reminding him was a selfish arrogant bastard he was.

 

Louis' mind drifted to Harry and he realized that he longed to see him. He looked at his gold Rolex and it was just past 8 pm so Angus should've picked him up already by now and they were probably on their way over here. Louis felt a tremor of excitement go through him. He wondered which suit he had chosen and he was so nervous at seeing him in a suit. His hands felt clammy and he quickly wiped them down on his suit pants, an Yves Saint Laurent in light gray with black lining round the lapels and pockets. Gerard was so good at dressing him up. He didn't want a tie but opted for a Tom Ford light blue shirt, leaving one button open at the collar. Louis motioned for a waiter and took a drink off the tray he was carrying and took a healthy gulp. Why the fuck was he so nervous?

 

Look at you all dressed up and nervous waiting for your date! I'm impressed. Don't you feel like you're at prom?

 

Now was not the time for his subconscious to be an asshole. And it wasn't a date! Before he could work himself up in a frenzy, Marc came up to him and stood beside him.

 

'How can I ever thank you for letting me throw this glamorous party?' Louis gave him a smirk.

 

'I will think of a way don't worry.' Marc laughed.

 

'Yeah I am sure you will. Are you waiting for someone? You look distracted and haven't moved from this spot since I got here,' Marc remarked as he took a sip from his champagne. 'Something on your mind?' Louis shrugged his shoulders.

 

'Nothing,' he told him though Harry being late was eating him up inside. 'I'm just bored at this boring party of yours.' Marc laughed again.

 

'Its a fantastic party admit it. You're just a grouchy asshole who doesn't know how to have fun. My parties are always awesome.' Louis gave him an amused look.

 

'Tone down your ego before your head gets too big yeah. Its a fucking boring party. People looking at people wearing your clothes like a pre-sale to a concert is quite boring you know. Tell me, do they get a discount on the items they like, is that why they are here? Or did you promise them a discount if they showed up to your boring party?'

 

'You're a dickhead you know that?' Marc told him playfully. Louis smirked at him.

 

'I've been told that a few times in my life,' he admitted. 'But hey, it is what it is right?' Marc turned to fully look at him.

 

'Are you going to buy anything from my collection?' he asked him. Louis pretended to be thinking.

 

'I haven't actually seen anything I like yet,' he teased him. Marc scowled at him.

 

'Dickhead!' he said then stopped abruptly, his mouth slightly open and eyes wide, looking in the direction of the open front door. 'Who the fuck is that angel and why haven't I seen him before?' he gasped out. Louis followed Marc's line of vision to where he was staring at and his heart stopped. Harry stood in the doorway, looking lost and unsure but also looking immaculate and gorgeous and Louis could swear that never in his life had he seen anything or anyone so perfect and so beautiful. He stood there in his blue Gucci suit with tigers on it and a sheer cream colored shirt underneath the jacket that was open way past his stomach and Louis was sure that his butterfly tattoo could be seen. His hair was all down, a mass of beautiful curls way down and around his shoulders.

 

'That's Harry,' Louis whispered and it came out as a breathless sigh, almost reverent as if he was worshiping in a church. With difficulty, Marc tore his eyes away from the beautiful creature at the door and looked at Louis who was looking at the man with....with what? Fond? Reverence? Adoration?

 

'You know him?' Marc asked him surprised, looking back at Harry then back at Louis.

 

'Yes,' Louis drawled still lost in oblivion drawn in by the beautiful Harry and the grace in which he carried Gucci. Marc nudged him.

 

'Is he one of your boys? Tell me he's not one of your.....'

 

'No he's not,' Louis told him a little sharply. How could Marc even think that? How could he even entertain the idea that Louis would take Harry into his dungeon and hurt him? Just then Harry began walking into his house, over that ridiculous cat walk Marc had Fredric install and Louis watched him as he took step after step and the cat walk lit up a bright pink, illuminating Harry in a pinkish glow.

 

Not so ridiculous is it now that he's strutting on it?

 

'Holy mother of God,' Marc breathed out. 'Is he a model?' he asked Louis and Louis shook his head, licking his lips, still trapped in a sweet daze.

 

'No he's Harry,' he said again. Marc looked at him and shook his head then snapped his fingers in front of Louis' face a couple of time, making him blink and tear his gaze away from Harry. 'What?' Louis asked him harshly.

 

'Who. Is. He?' Marc asked him, puncuating each word. By now, Harry had caught Louis' eye and he smiled big and wide at him popping his dimples and hurried over to them. Louis' heart rammed hard against his ribs.

 

'Hi,' Harry breathed out as if in relief. 'I'm finally here.' Louis took a sip of his drink because his throat had gone dry.

 

'I thought you might've changed your mind,' he told him dryly, trying to hide his excitement and nervousness. Harry shook his head slightly, making his curls bounce.

 

'Never,' he told him. Marc nudged Louis sharply in the back.

 

'Who's your friend?' Marc asked him beaming up at Harry.

 

'Oh this is Harry. Harry this is Marc Jacobs,' Louis said making introductions. Marc extended his hand and Harry opened his mouth and closed it again before extending his hand and taking Marc's.

 

'The Marc Jacobs?' Harry asked him bewildered. 'As in the fashion designer?' Marc smiled broader.

 

'The one and only. At your service,' he told Harry. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'He doesn't need your services,' he snapped and turned to Harry. 'Come on, lets get you a drink.' He grabbed Harry by the elbow and gently pushed him forward towards the bar. Harry turned over his shoulder and waved at Marc who waved back with a knowing smirk on his face. When they got to the bar, Louis asked for two glasses of champagne and handed one to Harry.

 

'You look nice,' Louis complimented him giving him a once over. Harry smiled and felt his cheeks warm up.

 

'I um never wore anything like this,' he told Louis and Louis smiled.

 

'Comfy?'

 

'It's comfy and soft and costs too much,' Harry told him then leaned in closer to him and lowered his voice. 'I'm wearing over 4000 pounds of clothing! I'm scared I'll damage something.' Louis just had to laugh and laugh he did. He laughed till his eyes crinkled.

 

'Oh my God Harry you're something else,' Louis told him trying to catch his breath. 'They're just clothes you know.' Harry gave him a skeptical look.

 

'I beg to differ. They are Gucci and they cost a lot. You.....spent a lot,' he told Louis and Louis wanted to wrap his arms around him and hug him tight.

 

'I don't mind spending on you. Gucci suits you a lot,' Louis told him. Harry smiled shyly.

 

'Thank you,' he told him. 'For the clothes and the compliment.'

 

'You're welcome,' Louis told him, not able to take his eyes off Harry. He took him round introducing him to people. Harry smiled a lot and shook hands with people and was slowly easing into conversations and making acquaintances. Louis left him chatting with Kendall and Cara who seemed to be the two people that Harry was most at ease with and went to the bar to get more drinks. It was then that Marc accosted him once again.

 

'Looks like your deflated party spirit has been inflated,' Marc commented with a smile on his lips. 

 

'Your party is still boring,' Louis commented playfully.

 

'But you seem to be enjoying it more since Harry got here,' Marc pointed out. Louis took a sip of his drink and looked to where Harry was laughing with Kendall and Cara. He had taken off his jacket a while ago and Louis was admiring all his tattoos seen through the sheer material of his shirt. 'So if he's not one of your boys, what is he?' Marc asked him with a raised eyebrow. Louis looked at him from the corner of his eye.

 

'When did you get so fucking nosy?' he asked him. Marc chuckled.

 

'The moment I saw you look at him with heart eyes.' Louis turned on him his face scrunched up comically.

 

'Look at him with what now?' Marc took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'Never in the years I've known you have I seen you look at someone the way you look at him.' Louis scoffed.

 

'You might want to take it easy on the alcohol,' he told him as he took another sip of his drink. Marc leaned his elbow on the bar.

 

'Where did you meet him?' he asked. Louis huffed. Marc wasn't going to let this go.

 

'At Garlands,' he told him curtly. Marc perked up.

 

'So he's a stripper? Oh my God of course. With those looks and that body....'

 

'Ex stripper,' Louis interrupted him. 'He's retired.' Marc pouted, jutting out his bottom lip.

 

'Pity. I would have loved to have him strip for me and tapped that beautiful ass.' Louis turned on him his face serious.

 

'Say something else about him along those lines and I'll fucking end this stupid party right now. As much as I like you Marc, you better watch your mouth because I will have this shit party over for you in a second and I wouldn't give a toss about your collection......'

 

'Calm down tiger,' Marc told him playfully, a smile on his lips. 'I wanted to get a reaction out of you and I did. You like him don't you?' Louis scoffed but did not reply. He drank some more and kept his eyes fixed on Harry and if Kendall touched his hair one more time, lesbian or not he would break her fingers. 'I've never seen that look on your face....'

 

'Marc can you shut the fuck up already with this shit? He's just somebody I happen to like but not in the way you are implying,' Louis told him. Marc pursed his lips thoughtfully.

 

'So is this like Pretty Woman 2.0?' Marc asked him and Louis dealt him a killer look.

 

'Stop talking. I'm two seconds away from fucking up your Spring collection!' Louis warned.

 

'Okay so you won't mind if I.....'

 

'I'll have you murdered and no one will find your body.' Marc laughed loudly.

 

'Oh my God he got you didn't he? Sweet Jesus and Mother Mary! Has that sweet boy touched that rock of a heart you got in there?' Louis tapped his finger against his glass.

 

'I don't think you are very fond of this collection are you, since you are really pushing me to fuck it up for you.' Marc smiled at him fondly.

 

'Defensive much?'

 

'Your mouth still working,' Louis told him.

 

'Okay okay,' Marc said putting his hands up slightly in front of him as if in surrender. 'I just want you to be happy Lou......'

 

'Does your mouth ever stop working?' Louis asked him. Marc laughed.

 

'Oh just admit it. You have the hots for him.' Louis smiled and quirked up an eyebrow.

 

'Oh that I do but he's a virgin.........'

 

'He's a what?' Marc squeaked out loudly which made Louis turn and give him a startled look. Marc looked at Harry than back at Louis and lowered his voice. 'That beauty over there has never been tapped into? Oh my my you have snagged yourself a special one haven't you?' Louis hated how Marc thought he was after Harry for one thing only. Well, he couldn't really blame him because that's what Marc knew about him.

 

'It's not like that,' Louis told him softly. Marc gave all his attention to Louis when he heard that phrase and the soft tone of his voice. He knew Louis and his ways. He knew he was not the type to commit or be in a serious relationship. He knew it was hard for Louis to open up and talk but this Louis in front of him right now, was a very different Louis than the one he knew.

 

'What's it like then?' Marc asked him. Louis shrugged and took a sip of his drink. Marc knew he would have to drag it out of him whatever was on his mind. 'How long have you known him?'

 

'About a month or so,' Louis told him.

 

'And he's still a virgin? Your dick working okay?' Marc asked him playfully. Louis scowled at him.

 

'My dick works very well thank you and very much active too.'

 

'Not with Harry it isn't!' Marc threw at him. He watched Louis fidget with his fingers that were holding his glass. Louis never fidgeted. Ever.

 

'I just...I mean I don't....I've never.....'

 

'You've never taken a virgin?' Marc asked him and Louis nodded slowly. Marc placed his hand on Louis' arm.

 

'Oh honey. Is that what's holding you back? Well, you happen to be talking to the man who took a few virgins....'

 

'Eww shut up. I don't want to know about your virgin takings. Eww. Fuck.' Marc slapped his arm playfully.

 

'You have to be careful with virgins. Since its their first time they can get very clingy afterwards and they have this notion of having saved themselves for "The One" and they want it to be perfect because they will always remember their first time and the person who took their virginity so that's a lot of responsibility on your be half.' Louis scoffed.

 

'Wow stress me some more why don't you? My dick feels stressed out already and wants to stay dormant!'

 

'But its true so if you are going to go for it with Harry you need to be intimate with him and romantic. Lots of foreplay to ease him up and prep him open. Some champagne. Romantic music. Take care of him through it and afterwards.' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'You know I don't do intimacy! Or romance! Or any of that shit you just mentioned!'

 

'So what, you're just gonna be a fucking savage like you usually are?' Marc asked him defiantly, challenging Louis.

 

'No I just...' Louis defended but Marc cut him off.

 

'You thought what Lou? Look at him. He's soft all over and I can tell from here he's sensitive. He radiates sensitivity and you thought what? Go in, fuck him raw, go out and leave him to deal with it? You're going to deflower the boy! What are you? A fucking neanderthal?' Louis huffed. He wasn't thinking of doing that no. Of course he wouldn't treat Harry like that but he couldn't tell Marc exactly what was going on.

 

Until you face it, you can't talk about it.

 

Louis ran a hand through his hair messing up his quiff a little bit. 'No of course not. I wouldn't do that to him. I just.....'

 

'You just what? Spit it out already?' Louis gave him a pleading look begging him to understand his unspoken words but Marc was having none of it. 'Talk to me!'

 

'I just don't know how to be intimate. I don't know how to make love to him. I only fuck. That is. Not strings attached. Go in, spill and get out! But he...Harry he....'

 

'Makes you feel things you never felt before perhaps?' Louis looked down at his glass as he felt his chest tighten.

 

'I don't know what to do with it,' Louis admitted. Marc patted him gently on the shoulder.

 

'There's a first time for everything honey and your first time happens to be an angel in disguise. Let yourself go a little. Forget you issues for a while and let yourself try this. Its okay to have feelings Lou. You might not know what to do with them but if you let your heart lead for a while instead of your mind and your dick, you'd be amazed at the outcome.' Louis gave him a hopeful look.

 

'Do you think I can....feel.....for him?' he asked Marc, his voice a low whisper. Marc gave him a smile.

 

'I believe you can, even being the caveman that you are,' he told him slyly. Marc nudged him slightly and motioned towards where Harry was still laughing with Kendall and Cara. 'How can you not feel for him? He's a fucking masterpiece. Even I'm feeling for him.....'

 

'Marc I'm warning you,' Louis told him.

 

'Talking of masterpieces. I want him to walk for me Lou. For my men's Autumn collection.' Louis turned on him like a pitbull foaming at the mouth.

 

'What?' he nearly screeched.

 

'Look at him. Just look at him really good. He's a fucking work of art, with that body, that hair, those tattoos. Not to mention those fucking never ending legs. It's a shame to keep him hidden.'

 

'No!' Louis said flat out. Marc huffed out in frustration.

 

'Lou I have a men's collection coming up. Just picture him in tight leather pants, crocodile skin pants, snake skin pants, my collection of fancy shirts over that torso, open to reveal those tattoos, his hair flowing behind him as he works the cat walk bare footed. Takes your breath away just imagining it doesn't it?' Marc told him his voice full of excitement.

 

'I won't have him exposed,' Louis said dryly.

 

'Excuse me? You won't have him? Staked a claim on him already have we? And seriously Lou exposed? He's a stripper at Garland's for fucks sake! He's been exposed already and what I'm offering is not degrading to that walking museum of fine arts!' Louis let out a snort.

 

'Jesus fuck Marc! Are you like besotted by him or something?' Marc gave him a cheesy grin.

 

'I am very much so. I want to introduce him to the world. He'll be mine......'

 

'The fuck he will!' Louis stopped him.

 

'Possessive as always. What next? Put him in a collar and leash?' They stopped talking and they both looked at Harry then looked back at each other.

 

'Fuck that's hot!' Louis said. Marc slapped him.

 

'Lou get your mind out of the gutter though I do agree with you on the collar, maybe not the leash but the collar, definitely! But come on think about it. He will make loads of money doing something he has clearly been born to do and no one has discovered him yet.'

 

'How the fuck do you even know he can model?' Marc gave him an annoyed look.

 

'Did you see the way he strutted in here as if he owned the god damn place? He's got confidence and charisma.' Louis chuckled.

 

'He's very shy.'

 

'Then walking for me will help boost his confidence. Think about it Lou!' Louis sighed and looked at Harry. Was he ready to share him with the world? Was he even his to share? Shouldn't he tell Marc to just go and ask him if he wanted this instead of asking his permission?

 

'On one condition,' Louis told him. Marc's face lit up.

 

'Name it Lou Bear!'

 

'Don't fucking call me that you twat! He is going to be your photographer for this shoot.' Marc's eyes went wide with shock.

 

'But I already have Alejandro on this. He's my usual photographer......'

 

'Alejandro can just fuck off back to Cuba for all I care,' Louis told him flatly.

 

'He's from Columbia!'

 

'Same thing,' Louis told him shrugging a shoulder.

 

'No its not! You need to upgrade on your geography!'

 

'Whatever!' Louis replied. Marc let out a heavy breath.

 

'What will he think if I tell him he's off the job?'Marc asked him.

 

'Not my problem,' Louis replied. 'Besides, you owe me for letting you throw this shit show of a party!'

 

'Fuck,' Marc hissed. 'But I've never seen Harry's work. Is he even a photographer?'

 

'He's not a photographer yet but I've seen his work and trust me, he's good. He's excellent.' Marc looked at him dubiously.

 

'This shoot is very important...........'

 

'Look, do we have a deal or are you just going to talk till you bore me to death?' Marc pursed his lips.

 

'Charming as ever. I see you haven't lost your touch. Yeah okay we have a deal. I'll talk to Alejandro.' Louis gave him a smile.

 

'Good and if he gets pissy about it send him to my basement. I would love to subdue him.'

 

'Oh fuck off Lou,' Marc told him as he went off in search of Alejandro to break the news to him. Louis looked at Harry....but he wasn't there where he had left him with Kendall and Cara and neither were they. Louis felt a surge of panic that he couldn't see Harry anywhere so he went to look for him. He finally found him in the garden with Kendall and Cara smoking weed. Harry was totally high and drunk.

 

'What the fuck is this?' Louis growled at them.

 

'Louissss!' Harry chirped happily. He made to move towards Louis but he was a little unsteady on his feet and slightly crashed into Louis who held him to avoid him falling.

 

'Opps,' Harry said smiling fondly at him.

 

'God you're high and shit faced,' Louis told him. Harry leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear:

 

'Don't be mad at me but you can punish me if you want.' His voice was low and deep and husky and it went straight to Louis' dick. Louis looked at Kendall and Cara.

 

'How the fuck did you two even bring weed in here?' They giggled.

 

'We have our ways,' Kendall told him.

 

'You shouldn't fucking get stoned in my house,' he snapped at them. 'Or give any to Harry!' Harry ran his hand up Louis' back, softly and slowly making Louis shiver.

 

'Its okay. They are my friends,' he slurred, giving Louis his dimpled smile and Louis didn't even know what fucking planet he was on because he was lost in Harry, in those heavy lidded green eyes and those dimples in his cheek.

 

'Come on, lets get you to a guest room,' he told Harry and Harry nodded waving good bye to Kendall and Cara who blew him kisses and told him they hoped to see him again really soon.

 

'Fat fucking chance,' Louis threw at them. He took Harry into the kitchen to avoid the guests seeing him wasted. From what Louis could tell Harry was a happy drunk. He sat him down on a stool and opened the fridge bringing out a cold bottle of water. He unscrewed the cap and gave it to him.

 

'Drink,' he ordered. Harry obeyed and drank most of the ice cold water. Then he looked at Louis.

 

'I'm hungry,' he whispered and Louis had to laugh at his innocent face.

 

'Is this your first time getting high?' he asked him. Harry nodded, going sideways and nearly falling off the stool. Louis righted him. 'Steady there. Let's get some food in you then its bed okay.'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry slurred and fuck Louis wanted to do things to him. Instead, he busied himself getting some of the party food on a plate and bringing it to Harry. He set down the plate in front of him and watched him eat. Harry hungrily ate what Louis brought him and Louis knew it was the effect of the alcohol and weed. He just hoped he wouldn't throw up once he put him to bed. When Harry pushed his plate away and informed Louis that he was full, Louis pulled out a fresh bottle of water from the fridge and helped Harry up.

 

'Let's go up the back stairs yeah,' Louis told him and they walked through the kitchen, past the laundry room to a staircase tucked in the back that the maids used. They went up to the second floor and Harry looked around the lavish settings of the house.

 

'Wooooooow,' he said elongating the word. 'Your house is so big and beautiful. Its like Buckingham Palace,' he slurred and drawled out the words. Louis chuckled.

 

'Yeah sure it is and I'm the king of the world,' he said playfully. Harry stopped walking and looked at him, deep into his blue eyes, his own eyes glazed from the alcohol and pupils blown wide from the weed and lust.

 

'You are my king,' he told him in a low voice, moving dangerously close to Louis. 'And you are my world.' Louis felt Harry's breath fan over his face, his words filling him with arousal and a deep need but he couldn't allow this. Harry was out of it and he didn't know what he was saying or doing.

 

'Sure I am,' Louis told him moving away from him. He pushed open the first door on the landing and flicked the light on to reveal a neat bedroom. He sat Harry down on the bed. 'Sit,' Louis told him. 'I'm going to get you a flannel to wet your face.' Louis made to move towards the adjoining bathroom but Harry caught his hand and tugged him to sit down next to him. When Louis was sat next to him, Harry kept hold of his hand.

 

'You are so beautiful,' Harry slurred his heavy lidded eyes roaming Louis' face inch by inch.

 

'Harry I....' Louis began but was cut off when Harry pressed his lips to Louis'. Louis felt his stomach plummet to his feet because right now Harry was vulnerable and his own lust was very high and he couldn't allow this. He placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and gently pushed him back. Harry pouted.

 

'Why are you pushing me away? Why won't you kiss me?' he whined, his words all slurry. Louis huffed.

 

'Harry....'

 

'Ryan was right,' Harry interrupted him again. 'Ryan was right all along. I am nothing special.' Louis furrowed his brows in confusion. Ryan? What did Ryan have to do with this?

 

'What?' Louis asked him because Harry was drunk and he was blabbing but he couldn't understand how Ryan had made it into the conversation. Harry played with Louis' fingers.

 

'Ryan told me that I am nothing special to you. And Ryan told me that you fucked him before our dinner date. And Ryan told me he has an NDA with you and I don't have one of those so I am not special. Ryan is special because he has an NDA. Because Ryan is gorgeous and manly and he has facial hair and chest hair and look at me Louis, I am not manly, I don't have facial hair or chest hair so you get to fuck Ryan not me because Ryan is gorgeous and he can give you want and I can't because I'm a virgin and you don't like that. Though Zayn told me that you were after my virginity but you don't want to fuck me so Nick said you will only use me until you fuck me then dump me so I am really confused about what you want from me but I am fairly sure you want Ryan not me because I offer myself to you and you keep pushing me away.' Harry stopped and took in a deep breath because he had spoken all the words in one go. Louis looked at him with his mouth open in shocked surprise.

 

'Harry,' he said hoarsely unable to believe all that he had heard tumble out of Harry's mouth. Harry moved closer to him and placed Louis' hand on his crotch that was half hard in his Gucci pants. He pressed his hand down on Louis' making him press down on his dick.

 

'I want you Louis. I want you to take my virginity. I don't care if you use me. I don't care if you just want me for sex. I want to feel special like Ryan does. I can be what he is to you if you just let me. I'll be whatever you want Louis please?' Tears had gathered in Harry's eyes and Louis couldn't take this anymore. All this was hitting him where it hurt, right in the center of his chest. To see this wonderful boy reduced to this by people who put stuff into his head and make him doubt himself and make him self conscious and feel as if he wasn't good enough. Fucking Ryan! How dare he? How fucking dare he? Louis took his hand of Harry's crotch. He didn't want to take advantage of him in this state. He could if he wanted to. He could fuck him into oblivion and he wouldn't remember a thing in the morning except for a sore ass. But he couldn't do that to Harry. Yes, he was a dickhead but not this much of a dickhead. He cupped Harry's cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. Harry leaned in to the touch and closed his eyes.

 

'Louis please,' he whispered, sniffing at his tears. Louis wanted so bad to wrap him up in his arms and hold him, reassure him that everything will be alright but he couldn't because nothing with this whole scenario was right.

 

I told you he was getting attached did I not? And I told you you won't be able to hide your true self from him did I not? Are you happy now that you reduced him to this mess of a person?

 

Louis grit his teeth together and even though his subconscious was right, he wasn't going to admit defeat. He wiped another of Harry's tears.

 

'Let's get you to bed yeah then we'll talk in the morning when you are sober alright?' Harry nodded, turned his face slightly and placed a kiss into Louis' palm. Louis got up and helped him undress which was torture for him, taking off Harry's clothes till he was standing before him in nothing but his tight black boxers where his bulge was visible and prominent. How could he ever think he wasn't beautiful and that Louis didn't want him? His body was like a fucking temple and Louis was ready to fall at his feet and worship him if he only asked him to. He pulled back the comforter and helped Harry lie down then tucked him in. He removed the hair out of his face, stroking it back and smoothing it down.

 

'Do you need anything?' Louis asked him gently.

 

'Just you,' Harry breathed out as his eyes fell closed and he drifted off into a drunken sleep. Louis continued to stroke his hair as he watched his breath even out, his lips part slowly and soft snores leave his mouth. Louis made to move, his eyes still on Harry. He couldn't help himself, he just couldn't. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

 

'If I'm your king, you are my prince you idiot. How can you not fucking see it or feel it?' He walked out of the room, turning off the lights and closed the door behind him softly. Once he was out in the landing, he felt anger well up inside him towards Ryan. He dailed Ryan's number and he picked up after the first ring.

 

'Get your fucking ass to the house in half an hour. Go down to the basement and use the back entrance. Don't be late,' Louis growled in the phone and hung up. He went downstairs and looked for Jarvis, his butler whom he found in the kitchen.

 

'Jarvis, I have a guest sleeping in one of the guestrooms and I need you to sit with him for a while. He's pretty wasted and I don't want anything to happen to him. I have some business to attend to but I will be up once I'm done.'

 

'Yes Sir,' Jarvis told him and immediately made his way upstairs. Louis walked out into the party again and went to get a drink. He needed a stiff one. He didn't know what he was feeling exactly. He was feeling too much to pinpoint exactly one certain thing. He was angry at Ryan for making Harry doubt himself and giving him an inferiority complex. He was mad at Harry's friends especially that dickhead Nick who were putting these ideas into his head.

 

But can you blame them? Your reputation speaks volumes about you and they are only looking out for him. But you have already sunk your claws so deep in the boy haven't you?

 

Louis downed his whiskey and asked for another one. Dammit! Fuck! Damn them all to hell. They didn't know him. They knew his reputation but not him. At least not this version of him. This version that was completely at Harry's mercy. This version that Harry was molding him into. 

 

'Getting wasted are we?' Marc asked him as he ordered a Martini, shaken not stirred.

 

'Fuck off!' Louis hissed at him as he downed another drink. Marc sipped at his Martini.

 

'Where is that juicy boy of yours?' Louis turned furious eyes on him.

 

'MY BOY is none of your fucking concern!' he snapped at him and it was then that Marc realized that something had happened. The relaxed easy Louis was gone.

 

'Did you have a fight with him? Louis where is he? You didn't.......

 

'What tie him up in my basement?' Louis scoffed. 'No he's upstairs asleep cos your two lesbian whores gave him weed and he was already drinking so he got shit faced. He's asleep,' he said on a softer tone. Marc placed a hand on his heart.

 

'That's good oh my God for a moment I thought but never mind,' he said when he saw Louis' dark scowl. 'Are you going to tell me what happened?'

 

'No,' Louis told him shortly. 'I am meeting someone. Any idea what time this fucking party will end?' Marc looked at his watch.

 

'I'd give it another hour tops.'

 

'Good,' Louis told him as he began to walk away. 'Have them clean the place ASAP.' He didn't get to hear Marc's reply because he was heading towards the basement trying to avoid people so they wouldn't stop him. The basement door was hidden and the people at the party couldn't see it unless they went round the staircase and underneath it. Louis got there safely without being interrupted. Once he got inside and closed the door behind him, the world upstairs was lost to him and he was lost to them. Ryan was already there, stripped bare, facing the bed just like Louis always instructed him. Louis ground his teeth together at the sight of him until his jaw hurt. He took off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his Tom Ford dress shirt.

 

'Bend over. Arms outstretched above your head. Feet apart,' he ordered and Ryan was quick to obey being used to this from his many times spent down here with Louis. Louis calmly walked around the bed fastening the leather cuffs to Ryan's wrists tightening them, then he did the same with his ankles. Louis walked to the belts rack and fingered his beloved belts. He chose a 2 inch braided brown leather belt. He walked back over to the bed where Ryan was ready and exposed for him.

 

'Not. A. Sound,' Louis ordered, punctuating every word. He pulled his arm back and rained down the first smack on Ryan's ass, the leather hitting skin sounding like a crack of thunder. He saw Ryan flinch, his body tensing up as he pulled against the restrains, the muscles of his back and arms pulled taught. The belt hit again, biting into the skin of Ryan's ass and back of his thighs. Louis brought it down again and again releasing all his pent up anger and frustration that this piece of shit had caused him and for being an asshole to Harry. When his arm began to tire, Louis let the belt drop to the floor. He took out a handkerchief from his trouser pocket and wiped his brow and top of his lip where some sweat had gathered. He put the handkerchief away and walked over to undo Ryan's cuffs. When they were undone Ryan slid down to his knees and looked up at Louis.

 

'Aren't you going to....'

 

'Fuck you?' Louis asked him, his voice ice cold. 'No I'm not.' He walked over to him and crouched down in front of him. 'You and I are done Ryan and the reason we are done is because you out stepped your boundaries. What makes you think that you are remotely special to me? What makes you even entertain the thought that you are my favorite one out of all my boys and more over what gives you the right to belittle others when you know jack shit about them?' Ryan looked up at him confused clearly not getting what he was saying. Louis chuckled.

 

'You really shouldn't have stepped on Harry's toes you know. That was very personal to me and very unprofessional on your behalf. Now, I want you to get dressed and get the fuck out of here and never let me see your face ever again. Also, you no longer work at Garlands. I don't want you nowhere near my property unless you want to be served with a restraining order. Don't ever under any circumstances approach Harry, talk to him or get in touch with him through third member parties. The NDA holds. You spill one word and I will sue your ass so bad you'll wish you were never born.' Louis stood up, looking down at Ryan's shocked expression. He rolled down his sleeves again and put on his jacket. He walked to the door but before he walked out, he turned to Ryan.

 

'And by the way, Harry IS the special one just in case you were wondering.' He opened the door and walked out, closing the door softly behind him. He went to the kitchen, pulled out two bottles of water from the fridge and headed upstairs toward the guest bedroom. He opened the door softly and saw Jarvis sitting on a chair beside the bed, the only light in the room was coming from the partially open bathroom door. Louis walked over to him.

 

'How is he?' he whispered not wanting to wake up Harry.

 

'He's okay Sir. He's been sleeping peacefully.' Louis placed his hand on Jarvis' shoulder.

 

'Thank you so much. You can go now. I'll sit with him.' Jarvis stood up.

 

'If you wish Sir I can sit with him and you go to bed. It is no problem at all.' Louis shook his head.

 

'Its fine really. You just make sure that Marc's team clean up properly and the house is set to order. Thank you Jarvis.' Jarvis bowed slightly and left the room. Louis sighed and placed the two water bottles on the bedside table beside Harry. He was indeed sleeping peacefully. His cheeks were rosy and his full plump lips slightly parted, snoring loudly. His curls were spread out on the pillow around him. Louis touched his cheek with the back of his hand just to make sure that the A.C wasn't making him too cold but he was fine.

 

Louis took off his suit jacket and shoes, placing them neatly on another chair that was in the room. He settled down in the chair comfortably and watched Harry sleep, synchronizing his breathing with Harry's and slowly, ever so slowly, he felt himself drifting off to sleep to the sound of Harry's snoring.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 8......................


	8. Crossing Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thank yous is not enough. But thank you.  
> All the love  
> M.

Crossing Boundaries

 

Louis stirred and stretched on the chair, feeling his whole body cramped up. His muscles ached from sitting too long in the chair. He rubbed his eyes and got his bearings. Then remembered that he had slept in here to be near Harry. Harry! He looked at the bed and Harry was still sleeping deeply on his back, mouth open and the covers pushed off him, his long legs sprawled out over the bed, sheets tangled around his ankles. Louis smiled and looked at his watch. 6:45 am. Good. He was in time to grab a shower and change.

 

He went into his bedroom and straight into the shower. He turned it on to hot and immersed himself under the hot spray letting it unwind his tense muscles. He felt happy. He had a lot planned for today and he wanted it to be special. As he showered though, memories from last night came back to him, what Harry had said about Ryan and what his friends had said about him. His mind went back to Harry crying and begging him once again to take him. Louis was glad that when Harry wakes up, he will remember none of it and he was going to make sure that he wouldn't remind him of it.

 

When he was done with his shower, he got dressed in a pair of navy blue slacks, a Ralph Lauren white polo shirt with long sleeves and a pair of brown Oxfords. When he was done fixing his hair, he went downstairs to check that everything was planned for the day.

 

As he walked downstairs he was glad to see that his house was back to normal, no hint that a party had been thrown yesterday and Louis liked that. He liked everything to be in order, clean and organized. He walked into the kitchen and found Leonard having a cup of tea, chatting with Mrs. Davis while she prepared the birthday breakfast.

 

'Good morning,' Louis told them as he slid on a stool next to Leonard.

 

'Good morning Sir,' Leonard greeted him.

 

'Good morning Sir,' Mrs. Davis told him with a smile. Louis smiled back at her.

 

'How was your day with your grand babies?' Louis asked her. Mrs. Davis' face lit up.

 

'It was a splendid day Sir and they send their thanks for the beautiful toys you got them,' she told him. Louis waved a hand at her, dismissing her thanks.

 

'I'm glad you all had fun. How is breakfast coming along?'

 

'Everything is almost done Sir,' Mrs. Davis in formed him. 'I will set it all up in the dining room.'

 

'Excellent,' Louis complimented her. 'Leonard, is the dining room decorated?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Leonard told him. 'Would you like to see it Sir?' Louis shook his head.

 

'No. I trust you Leonard. I will go and wake up our guest then for his birthday breakfast.' He got up and walked towards the stairs leaving Mrs. Davis and Leonard exchanging surprised glances. No guest had ever slept in this house. Ever.

 

Louis took the stairs two at a time unable to contain his excitement. He stopped by his room to grab a bag he had placed earlier by the door then walked over to the guest room, opening the door softly. Harry was still sprawled out on the bed, a tangle of long limbs and hair all messed up. Louis stopped for a second to admire him in slumber. Even asleep he looked beautiful and innocent. Louis tentatively reached out and removed a curl that was across his face, then let his knuckles gently brush his cheeks. Harry stirred a little but didn't wake. Louis smiled at the cute way Harry scrunched up his nose and buried his face deeper in the pillow.

 

'Hey,' Louis told him gently still stroking his cheek. 'You need to wake up now.' He saw Harry's eyelashes flutter a little then his eyes began to crack open. He watched him as his eyes adjusted to the faint light in the room streaming in from the window. He watched his green eyes focus on him, the confusion in them as they tried to tell his brain what they were seeing. Then he saw the recognition settle and his lips slightly part.

 

'Louis?' he rasped out and damn Louis nearly collapsed at his deep morning voice.

 

'Hi,' Louis told him, still watching him surfacing from his sleepy state into wakefulness and he could honestly say it was the best thing to experience. Harry looked around the room and then back at Louis, awareness now in his sleepy green eyes.

 

'Where am I?' he rasped out. Louis sat on the bed, next to Harry's naked thigh.

 

'Well,' Louis began, a smile tugging at his lips. 'You got really shit faced last night and you were stoned so I brought you up to my guest room and let you sleep over.' Harry groaned and covered his face with his hands feeling shame creep up into his face.

 

'Oh my God,' he groaned out. 'What did I do? Did I do something stupid? Or talk shit? I usually do that when I'm drunk and I've never smoked weed before so I'm so sorry if I embarrassed you.....' Louis pulled his hands away from his face wanting to see his sleepy eyes.

 

'Hey you didn't do anything alright. You didn't embarrass me or yourself at all. You just slept.' Harry gave him a dubious look.

 

'Are you sure?' he asked him. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Yes I'm sure. Now can you please get up and take a shower? We have breakfast waiting downstairs.'

 

'I have nothing to.......'

 

'Wear?' Louis interrupted him. He got up and opened the bag he had carried into the room and pulled out a pair of light gray Nike sweatpants, a black Tommy Hilfiger hoodie, black boxers and socks. He threw them at Harry. Harry looked at him confused. Louis grinned at him. 'The perks of having a personal stylist who knows your sizes.' Harry smiled and got out of bed. He looked around as if looking for something.

 

'What do you need?' Louis asked him.

 

'I didn't bring any hair ties,' Harry told him. Louis smiled and pulled a black one off his wrist and threw it at Harry.

 

'There you go,' he told him. Harry shook his head.

 

'Are you always this prepared with everything?'

 

'Always,' Louis told him cockily. Harry smiled at him and felt happy that Louis seemed to know what he needed right before he even asked for it. He picked up the clothes and headed to the adjoining bathroom. Louis sat down on the chair waiting for him. He hoped that Harry wouldn't be too difficult about the plans he had taken the liberty of making because he really wanted this day to be amazing and perfect.

 

The door to the bathroom opened and Harry walked out followed by a steam of hot air. Louis held his breath, then exhaled slowly. He looked divine in those sweats and hoodie, his hair up in a very messy bun. Was there anything that didn't look good on him? He watched him walk over towards him and he had to admit that Marc was right! He was made for modeling and that reminded Louis that he had yet to tell him about the photography session he was going to do for Marc on Tuesday and then break the news to him about walking for Marc. He was pretty sure Harry will freak out and throw a tantrum of sorts.

 

Encourage him to do it. You should be his backbone and hands that push him to be his greatest and support him through it.

 

'A penny for your thoughts?' Harry asked him. Louis stood up and looked at him.

 

'I trust the shower was good?'

 

'Hmm. Amazing. Thank you for letting me stay here and for the clothes,' Harry told him. Louis shrugged.

 

'Its nothing really. Glad to see you're not throwing a hissy fit about it. Ready for breakfast?' Harry nodded.

 

'Yeah. I'm starving,' he told him as he followed Louis out into the hall and down the stairs, taking in the huge house and its furnishings as he walked, his mouth slightly open at the beautiful luxurious house. Louis went straight into the dining room and as Harry followed him, he felt him stop and heard him gasp. Louis turned to look at him. His face was surprised, his mouth open and his eyes wide as he took in the large HAPPY BIRTHDAY streamer and balloons all around the room. The dining table which seated 12 was full of plates with different breakfast foods. Mrs. Davis and Leonard were in the room, both smiling widely greeting Louis' guest. Louis turned to Harry.

 

'Happy birthday Harry,' he told him softly. 'I know your birthday is tomorrow but I also know you will want to spend your birthday with your friends so.....' he let his words trail off. Harry blinked and turned to look at Louis.

 

'This...this is...Oh my God Louis. This is too much......' Louis raised his arms as if in surrender.

 

'Please don't throw a hissy fit! Really. Don't!' Harry looked at him and couldn't help himself. He threw himself at him and hugged him tightly. Leonard and Mrs. Davis exchanged surprised but fond looks when they saw the tall cute boy wrap himself around Louis, especially when they saw their boss wrap his arm around the boy's waist and hug him back, his hand going up and down his back in a soothing motion. They never saw this. Ever.

 

'I won't,' Harry said in the crook of his neck. 'I..I never had this...anything like this...thank you Louis. Thank you.' He pulled back and looked at the two people standing there and Harry felt himself blush for his public demonstration of his affections towards Louis. Louis saw him put his head down and fumble with his fingers as his cheeks grew redder.

 

'Harry, this is Mrs. Davis, my cook and housekeeper. I believe you already met Leonard.'

 

'Hi Mr. Styles,' Leonard told him. 'Nice to meet you again.' Harry gave him a small wave.

 

'It is nice to meet you Mr. Styles,' Mrs. Davis told him with a big smile on her face. Harry looked from Mrs. Davis to Leonard.

 

'Please its just Harry,' he told them shyly. They both nodded at him as Louis led him to sit down.

 

'I didn't know exactly what you liked for breakfast so I had Judy do a little bit of everything. I hope you're hungry,' Louis told him. Harry nodded and helped himself to pancakes and fruit and tea. Louis sat opposite him and had his usual.

 

'I hope you like your birthday breakfast,' Louis told him as he took a sip of his coffee. Harry nodded, his mouth full of food. Once he swallowed, he looked at Louis.

 

'You give me so much. Thank you.' Louis cleared his throat.

 

'Before you throw a hissy fit, I want you to know I got you a present. Or two.' Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

 

'No. You got me enough already Louis,' he protested. Louis got up.

 

'Well I bought them already so you might as well save it,' he told him as he crossed the room to a cupboard, opened it and found the two presents wrapped in gold wrapping paper with purple bows on top. He got them and took them over to Harry. Harry looked up at him but knew he had no choice but to open them. He tore the wrapper of the first box and his mouth fell open as he found himself staring down at the Apple logo and knew instantly it was the rose gold Mac Book. Harry shook his head furiously.

 

'No no no no no no. Louis this...this is too much...this is too expensive.' Louis put his hand on his shoulder.

 

'You need it. Look at it as me investing in you because I really want you to become an author so I can have good books to read in the future, so really this is more a gift for me that it is for you.' Harry pouted at him.

 

'You're a liar,' he told him softly but with a smile.

 

'You need it,' Louis told him. 'Now go on, open the other one,' he urged him. Harry moved on to the next present and tore the wrapper off and immediately his eyes bulged out of his face as both his hands went to his mouth to hide the gasp he let out.

 

'Louis no!' he moaned from behind his hands.

 

'You like it don't you?' Louis teased him with a satisfied smile. Harry couldn't even blink as he stared at the professional Canon 5D camera in front of him with full accessories. It was the fourth and latest edition of its 5D series. This was the type of camera used by fashion, wedding and landscape photographers. The professional ones.

 

'Louis,' Harry breathed. 'This...this is a very very very expensive camera. I-I really can't.....'

 

'You can and you will,' Louis told him as he sat back down and took a sip of his coffee. 'Its for your new job.' Harry blinked at him totally thrown off.

 

'My what?' Harry asked him. Louis smiled at him.

 

'Well I did promise you a job didn't I? And you have one. You will be doing Marc's photo shoot. His models I mean. You will be photographing his models,' Louis told him as if this was the simplest and most normal thing in the world.

 

'Louis!!! I am not a model photographer! I am not a photographer period!' Harry exclaimed horrified. 'I can't possibly photograph Marc Jacob's models! I am not a professional photographer!' Louis chuckled and nodded towards the camera.

 

'You are now with that thing,' he told him. Harry huffed.

 

'Its not that simple. I-I never did any photography like that,' Harry argued. Louis shrugged a shoulder and took another sip of his coffee.

 

'There's a first time for everything. I saw your pictures. You are good. Trust yourself a little bit. The shoot is on Tuesday. Marc will give you the details of what he wants.'

 

'But Louis....'

 

'Hissy fit?' Louis asked him raising an eyebrow at him. Harry slumped in his chair feeling defeated.

 

'What if I screw it up?' he asked him. Louis looked at him with a gleam in his eyes.

 

'But what if you don't hmm? Your name will be everywhere Harry. Your first work will be with Marc. Have some faith in yourself. I do.' Harry looked at him with adoration in his eyes.

 

'Thank you so much. I can never repay you.....'

 

'Shush and finish your breakfast. I'm taking you out!'

 

'Where?' Harry asked. Louis smiled to himself then looked at Harry with mischief and amusement.

 

'Promise you won't throw a hissy fit?' he asked him, his voice laced with amusement. Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'I promise,' he said. Louis pursed his lips.

 

'I'm pretty sure once I tell you where we're going, you're gonna throw one,' Louis teased him as he got up again and went over to a side board, picked up something off it and slid it across the table towards Harry. Harry looked at it, then up at Louis.

 

'What is it?' he asked him. Louis scoffed.

 

'Your passport.' Harry blinked again.

 

'But I don't have....I didn't make.....'

 

'I have my ways,' Louis told him. 'I took the liberty of getting you a passport.'

 

'But what about my signature?' Harry asked. 'Is it a fake one?'

 

'I can assure you its not a fake one and it wasn't done illegally so just trust me okay. Its a valid passport.' Harry was beginning to panic and Louis could see this so he decided that he had surprised him a lot for the morning. He sat down beside him. 'Look I'm taking you to Paris for the day. In my private jet. We'll be back tomorrow in time for you to celebrate your birthday with your friends.' Harry covered his face.

 

'No Louis this is really too much. Too much.'

 

'You promised no hissy fits but while you're about to throw one, might I add that you have a Louis Vuitton suitcase ready with clothes and necessities which Gerard put together for you so I'm just gonna step back and let you throw your hissy fit. You earned it but when you're done with it, please go change because our plane leaves at 9 am sharp. I'll give you 10 minutes for a fit. No more.' Harry looked at Louis who looked at him and tapped his watch indicating that the time for his hissy fit was running out but Harry didn't have it in his heart to throw a fit. He saw how happy Louis was and he couldn't be ungrateful for all that he had done for him. He got up and wrapped his arms around Louis' neck taking him by surprise. He pressed his body into Louis and Louis wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him back.

 

'Thank you,' Harry whispered in his neck. 'Thank you thank you thank you.' Louis laughed.

 

'You are most welcome. Now go. Get changed. We need to leave soon.' Harry disentangled himself from Louis but before he left, he placed a chaste kiss on Louis' lips than ran out of the room back to the guest bedroom he had slept in. Harry pushed open the door full of excitement and found clothes laid out for him on the bed. He went over to inspect them and as always, Louis hadn't failed to impress. A pair of Burberry low waist black skinny jeans, a Marc Jacobs shirt in black with pink flamingos on it and a pair of classic Saint Laurent Wyatt harness boots with pointed toe. Harry smiled to himself when he also saw two hair ties: one in pink and one in black. His outfit was complete with a pair of Wayfarer Ray Ban sunglasses. Harry felt so special and was grateful for all that Louis was doing for him.

 

Remember he's a philanthropist and you could just be his next charity case!

 

Harry pouted at his subconscious which seemed to be always there to throw doubts at him but he refused to let these silly thoughts ruin this day. He quickly undressed, folding his clothes neatly on the chair and put on his new clothes. He pulled his hair up into a neat bun and looked at himself in the full length mirror and he couldn't help the gasp that fell out of his mouth. He had to admit that he looked good. He had never wore anything as the clothes that Louis had been giving him and damn he just had to admire himself. When he was done, he left the room and hopped down the stairs where he found Louis pacing the lobby next to two small suitcases. When Louis heard his feet on the stairs, he looked up and Harry saw the look on his face : a mixture of awe, pride, surprise, a little shock perhaps. Harry walked over to him and did a little turn around for him.

 

'How do I look?' he asked and Louis opened his mouth, closed it, swallowed, licked his lips, tried to say something, then coughed and cleared his throat. Harry preened under his blue watchful eyes full of lust and attention

 

'You uhm look yeah good. Nice. I have to thank Gerard for the choice in clothing. Send him a fruit basket or some flowers,' Louis told him, feeling flustered because fucking hell Harry was beautiful. Those jeans made his legs look never ending and the way Harry refused to button up his shirt, leaving it open to just below his butterfly tattoo. Louis' mind was working over time yet at the same time it was blank. He called that The Harry Effect because it happened a lot to him when Harry was around.

 

'Sir your car is here and ready to leave,' Leonard informed him but Louis was still staring at Harry, making up 101 ways of how to wreck him. 'Sir,' Leonard tried again when he saw that Louis did not hear him. Louis blinked and looked at Leonard, painfully tearing his eyes away from Harry.

 

'Yes Leonard?' he snapped. Leonard was taken a little aback by the harsh reply.

 

'I just informed you that your car is ready to take you and Mr. Styles to the airport. Your flight leaves in an hour.' Louis nodded at him.

 

'Thank you. Tell Jarvis to get the suitcases in.' Then he turned to Harry. 'Shall we?' he asked him softly. Harry nearly skipped over to him but regained some self control over his happiness. He was going to ride a plane for the first time and go to Paris. With Louis! He was surprised he wasn't clapping his hands and grinning like an idiot.

 

They got into the backseat of the car and after Angus greeted them, he began the 30 minute drive to Heathrow. Harry was excited. He couldn't sit still. He kept moving in his seat and tapping his foot, making his knee bounce up and down. Louis looked at him curiously.

 

'Are you alright Harry?' Harry looked at him and gave him a small nervous smile.

 

'I'm- yeah I'm just nervous. I-I've never been on a plane before.' Louis reached out and placed a hand on his bouncing knee.

 

'Relax. It will be fine okay. And it will be just you and me on board so if you feel the need to freak out you can do that without having people to judge you,' Louis told him with a chuckle. Harry gave him a sideways look.

 

'Not funny!'

 

'To you maybe not but to me its very funny,' Louis told him and gave him a wink.

 

'Glad I entertain you,' Harry replied.

 

'Oh you entertain me so much especially with your mouth,' Louis told him and watched Harry's cheeks turn pink as he lowered his eyes to his feet.

 

'You entertain me too,' Harry whispered. Louis leaned over and placed his mouth close to Harry's ear.

 

'Well if the flight gets too much for you and you have some sort of panic attack, we can entertain each other yeah.' Harry closed his eyes briefly as he felt Louis' hot breath on the side of his face and felt his dick perk up in appreciation at those words. The rest of the short drive was silent, Harry lost in his thoughts and Louis calling his office informing them that he will be in on Monday afternoon at 1 pm. The car stopped in front of the VIP Departure Lounge and Angus opened their door for them then went to get their bags and accompanied them inside. Once they were inside the VIP Lounge, Louis told Angus that he could go. They each took their small suitcase and rolled it to check out. Their passports were checked and they made their way out onto the tarmac. Harry held his breath when he looked at the plane. It was rather big for a private jet and it had "Tomlinson" in gold written on the site of it and a cursive "T" on the tail. As they walked towards it, Louis explained that this was a Bombardier Global 5000 model and gave him details about the model hoping to calm Harry down knowing that he would be flying in a very safe plane. When they climbed into the plane, they were greeted by 2 members of the crew who shook Louis' hand and welcomed him on board, informing him that the captain and co-pilot will be out to greet him as soon as they got clearance.

 

Harry looked around in awe. If the plane looked big from the outside, the inside looked huge. The first half of the plane boasted four large leather seats in a light beige colour. Harry followed Louis to the back of the plane where there were beige couches, tables, a small desk and a flat screen TV. Louis placed his suitcase to the side of the couch and plopped down. He looked at Harry expectantly and Harry sat down beside him.

 

'This is the comfiest part of the plane,' Louis explained. 'When I travel longer distances for work, I use this area. I can work here and watch some telly or just sleep. At the rear there's a small bathroom and kitchenette so yeah its quite comfortable.'

 

'Wow,' Harry just said. 'I mean I never thought I would...that I would leave England let alone leave it in a private jet.' Louis gave him a smirk.

 

'Anything is possible in life. You can never tell what's round the corner.' Just then another two men approached them and from their uniform, Harry could tell they were the captain and co-pilot. They shook hands with Louis and talked for a few minutes then informed him that they had clearance and would be taking off in 5 minutes. Louis thanked them and sat back down next to Harry who was once again bouncing his knee up and down.

 

'Will you relax?' Louis asked him in a soft voice yet with a hint of authority to it.

 

'I'm sorry,' Harry was quick to reply. He didn't want to disappoint Louis but he couldn't help feel nervous. He had to admit at least to himself that he was a little scared.

 

'Fasten your seat belt,' Louis ordered and Harry was quick to grab the belt with his trembling fingers and fasten it around his waist. The plane began to move, rolling slowly towards the runway. Harry gulped. Louis squeezed his knee.

 

'Relax. Breathe in breathe out yeah.' The pilot announced over the intercom that they were ready for takeoff and no sooner the plane set off on its run down the runway. Harry squeezed his eyes tightly shut and before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed Louis' hand holding on to it for dear life. Louis let him and he actually squeezed his hand in return to reassure him. When the plane lifted off, he heard Harry gasp at the elevation and hold his breath.

 

'Hey hey breathe. Its okay. We're airborne. You can open your eyes now.' Harry slowly cracked one eye open then the other and when he saw the blue skies through the window he gasped again.

 

'Wow,' he breathed. 'Its so beautiful,' he told Louis as he leaned over to get a better look. Louis chuckled to himself and motioned one of the cabin crew over and asked for two glasses of champagne. Yeah it was 9:10 am but this was a celebration for Harry's birthday. When Harry was handed the champagne he smiled at Louis.

 

'A toast,' Louis told him. 'To you. May all your dreams and ambitions come true. Happy birthday.' They clinked glasses and took a sip. Harry relaxed a little now that he had gotten used to the feeling of being airborne and that it wasn't so bad as he had feared it to be. In fact the 20 minute flight passed in the blink of an eye in between chatting to Louis and drinking champagne. Soon the jet was landing in Charles De Gaulle airport. Once again they were taken through VIP to a waiting chauffeured car. Harry looked out of the car window at the passing scenery, exclaiming at the beauty of Paris flashing by. Louis sat back and watched him fondly.

 

'Look! The Eiffel Tower,' Harry shrieked out in excitement and Louis just had to laugh at his enthusiasm. After all, this was his first time in Paris. Unlike Louis who had been here several times on business. He had never been on any vacations so landmarks didn't have much effect on him. Until now! Now Harry's enthusiasm was sparking in him a desire to enjoy tourist landmarks. Suddenly Louis wanted to be tourist!

 

'Can we go up on it?' Harry asked him earnestly his green eyes shining and how could Louis deny him anything?

 

'Of course we can go!' Louis told him and he smiled big when he saw Harry clap his hands the same way a baby seal claps his fins. Harry was filling him with an excitement for life he had never felt before, he wanted to do things he had never done before, he wanted to experience things he hadn't yet experienced.

 

You are reaching for a life that is nothing but a dream. You know you cannot have it. You will end up destroying everything. All this is pretend. How long before you slip and fuck everything up?

 

Louis refused to listen to his subconscious. He could! He was able to. Wasn't he? Was he a far too damaged human being to do things normal human beings did? Was he too far gone to feel for the boy sitting next to him? Was he too much of a sick human that he would destroy the only beautiful thing that had touched his life for the first time in 30 years?

 

The car pulled over and stopped, pulling Louis out of his dark thoughts. The chauffeur stepped out and opened their door. Louis stepped out first, followed by an over excited Harry who gasped loudly when he saw that they were standing in front of The Hilton.

 

'Oh my God Louis!' he exclaimed, eyes wide taking in the majestic building before him. Louis placed a hand gently on his lower back and moved closer to him.

 

'No hissy fits in Paris okay,' he told him playfully just as a bellhop came forward to take their luggage.

 

'Bonjour Monsieur Tomlinson,' the bellhop addressed him as he loaded their luggage on the luggage cart.

 

'Bonjour,' Louis told him politely. Harry felt his knees turn to jelly when he heard Louis speak French and he looked forward to hearing more. He followed Louis into the luxurious lobby and Harry couldn't help but gawk with his mouth open at the richness of the hotel. He couldn't help but admire how confident Louis was, walking in here as if he owned the damn place. He had so much control and self assurance. He had a dominating personality. Everyone listened to him and paid him attention and Harry liked that. He had no qualms with Louis being in control and dominating him. Louis had control of everything and had every situation under his thumb. Harry briefly wondered if Louis had ever found himself in a situation where he had lost control. He internally doubted that.

 

He followed Louis to the reception area and watched as the beautiful brunette behind the counter smiled at him broadly.

 

'Bonjour Monsieur Tomlinson. Bienvenue a la Hilton.' Louis smiled at her.

 

'Merci. Cle' de ma suite s'il vous plait,' Louis told her in fluent French and Harry nearly passed out from the sexiness of his voice as he spoke French. His jeans felt a little tighter and he wanted urgently to fix himself but he couldn't. Not in the lobby of The Hilton in Paris! He watched Louis sign some papers and hand over his Platinum Card. After a while the woman handed him back his card along with a key card and Louis was guiding him towards the elevators. Once they were in the elevator and on their way up, Harry touched the back of Louis' hand, getting his attention.

 

'Thank you,' Harry whispered. 'This is...this...I mean...too much.' Louis gave him a smile and touched his hand lightly with his pinky finger.

 

'The day is just starting. It's only past 10 am so don't thank me just yet but so you know, you're welcome and its a pleasure.' The elevator dinged open and they stepped out on their floor. The bellhop came out of the service elevator and walked behind them as Louis opened the door to their suite, allowing Harry to walk in before him. He heard Harry gasp again and smiled as he tipped the bellhop. He walked inside and found Harry at the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city of Paris with a clear view of the Seine and the Eiffel Tower.

 

'Beautiful isn't it?' Louis asked him but Harry did not reply. He turned to him and threw his arms around his neck, pressing his body into him making Louis stumble back a little bit. Louis placed his hands on Harry's waist to steady himself. 'Hey hey,' Louis told him gently. 'What's all this?'

 

'Thank you so much,' Harry mumbled into Louis' neck and Louis had to close his eyes when he felt his lips brush his neck slightly and his warm breath on his skin. 'I- this- I never.....'

 

'Shh shh its okay,' Louis told him, rubbing his back gently. 'I know its overwhelming but I want you to enjoy this alright. I want you to relax and have fun. Can you do that for me?' Harry pulled back and looked into Louis' blue blue eyes and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Louis, softly, gently and Louis felt the breath being knocked out of him because Harry was overwhelming him too. He was hugging him a lot and Louis liked it.

 

'I will,' Harry told him and gave him a smile. Louis nodded at him.

 

'Okay then shall we get going? We have a city to explore.' Harry nodded enthusiastically and together they went back down and found their car waiting for them. They spent the day sightseeing and walking along the Seine and stopping at quaint little cafes to have coffee and croissants. They stopped in little carres where there were painters painting and street vendors selling plastic jewellery and souvenirs and violinists playing and Harry was falling in love with the romantic city and he took photos with his phone of everything and of Louis when he wasn't looking, as well as some selfies with Louis which he needed a little persuasion but to which he finally gave in to Harry's pouts. In the afternoon, Louis took Harry to The Louvre and it was not the art that fascinated Louis but Harry who went from painting to painting exclaiming and gasping and giving Louis detailed information about the paintings, the artists and the era in which they had been painted. However, the only masterpiece Louis had eyes for in The Louvre was Harry Styles.

 

They got back to their suite late afternoon when the sun was beginning to set and Harry plopped down on one of the leather couches in their living room.

 

'Did you enjoy the day?' Louis asked him feeling happier than he had ever felt in like ever. Harry beamed up at him.

 

'Oh God yes its been amazing.' Louis gave him a smile.

 

'Its not over yet. I need you to shower and get changed. Your clothes are hanging in the bedroom. We have a reservation at 7 pm.'

 

'Where?' Harry asked him curiously. Louis raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

 

'Just go and get ready yeah.' Harry got up quickly and headed towards the bedroom. It was big with a huge king size bed. Harry saw a black bag hanging on a clothes hanger with his suitcase on the floor. He unzipped the bag to reveal a white Gucci suit with a black floral print (which Harry thought looked so much like bed sheets but it was a Gucci and what did he know?) and a black shirt underneath it. His Gucci boots where by the suitcase. Harry knew that there was no point in arguing with Louis about the suitcase of clothes he had Gerard pack for him. What Louis wanted Louis got and what Louis ordered he expected to be followed without qualm and to the point. He opened the suitcase to search for underwear and socks and what he found there made Harry's breath hitch in is lungs. Gerard had been kind enough to pack Calvin Klein boxers along with two lace thongs one in black and one in hot pink and two pairs of hipster lace knickers one in red and one in white. Harry looked at the underwear confused. Was it common that men wore ladies underwear? Did Gerard pack them because Louis liked them? Should he wear one? Was this an indication that something might happen or was Harry imagining things and getting ahead of himself here? Harry felt confused so he took the easy route : men wore thongs and Louis had seen him in one already so he picked up the black lace thong and headed to the bathroom. He showered and washed his hair, taking his time to clean himself up. When he walked out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his hips and one around his head, he found Louis sitting on the bed taking his shoes off. He gave Harry a smirk.

 

'If you stayed under that shower for another five minutes, I would've come in there and showered with you. I hope you left me some hot water.' Harry mentally kicked himself. Why didn't he give his hair another wash adding an extra ten minutes to his shower?

 

'There's plenty,' Harry told him. He walked over to him and looked into his eyes. 'You know you could've come in anytime you wanted,' he told him in a husky voice that made Louis internally shiver. He swallowed.

 

'I'll remember that next time,' he told him and Harry felt himself glow at his words because Louis had just hinted that there might be a next time. Louis walked past him and went into the bathroom. Harry finished getting dressed in his Gucci suit, all the while wondering where Louis was taking him. When he was done fixing his hair, he went and waited for Louis out on the balcony, watching the evening slowly creep up on the city of Paris, twinkling lights down below illuminating the roads and the Eiffel Tower. Harry let his mind wander to many possibilities. Louis had brought him to Paris and had booked a suite with just one bedroom, so maybe just maybe....but Harry stopped his train of thought there. He didn't want to build up any scenarios in his head to be disappointed later at his own hands.

 

The dreamy part of his brain was telling him that Louis was acting like a perfect boyfriend should and being a gentleman too but the rational part of his brain kindly reminded him that Louis was after one thing and one thing only, that Louis did not date, that Louis was not his perfect boyfriend and that this was just the build up to getting what he was after. After that, all this would be gone. Harry refused to believe that even though he knew it was the likely truth. Louis' hand on his back disturbed his thoughts. He turned around and Harry felt his breath hitch. Louis was dressed in a black suit and crisp white shirt buttoned up to the collar, no tie. His hair was not in a quiff like Harry had always seen it but it was across his forehead in a soft fringe and he hadn't shaved so he had a two day stubble and he looked gorgeous and much younger. Louis grinned at him.

 

'Like what you see?' he asked him playfully. His heart was ramming in his chest because Harry looked gorgeous in the Gucci suit. Harry felt his cheeks burn and simply nodded. Louis chuckled because there was nothing more he loved than a timid blushing Harry.

 

'Come on let's go,' he told him and together they walked out of the room and down the elevator to the lobby. Once there they walked outside to a waiting limo. Harry stopped short.

 

'Wait what? We are going in a limo?' he asked dumbfounded. Louis shrugged.

 

'Yeah wanted you to see Paris by night,' he told him as the chauffeur opened the door for them and Louis slipped inside. Harry slid in next to him marveling at the beautiful interior of the car. As the limo moved into traffic, Louis popped open a bottle of champagne and handed a glass to Harry.

 

'Happy birthday Harry. I hope you have enjoyed your day so far,' Louis told him. Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

 

'So far? You mean there's more?' Louis smiled at him mischievously, a glint in his eye.

 

'The night is still young.' The driver drove them round the city and they sat back,thighs rubbing against each other, occasional hands touching, sipping champagne and taking in the beautiful city. Finally after about 20 minutes the limo came to a stop and the driver opened their door once again. Louis stepped out first and waited for Harry to get out. As soon as he was out he gave a loud shriek, his eyes wide. They were standing right beneath the Eiffel Tower. Louis felt his heart swell at the look of bliss on Harry's face.

 

'You wanted to go up right?' Louis asked him and Harry just nodded still taking everything in awe. 'Well come on then. We haven't got all night,' Louis urged him. Without knowing, Louis reached over and took his hand and both of them stood still for a second but Harry didn't pull back his hand and Louis didn't let go. It was weird for Louis to hold hands. He never held hands with anyone. Human contact with him was down to a bare minimum, most of which occurred within his basement or during meeting where there was a lot of hand shaking going on. But this type of hand holding? He never had it before and he liked it. Harry's hand was big and soft and warm and he didn't want to let go.

 

They took the elevator and Harry couldn't contain his excitement, bouncing from one foot to the other and swaying their locked hands gently back and forth.

 

'I can't believe I'm up on the Eiffel Tower!' Harry said and Louis squeezed his hand.

 

'Believe it!' Just then the elevator dinged and the doors opened and they walked out and Harry held his breath as he took in the breath taking view of Paris below. He felt happy and overwhelmed and he didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. He felt Louis' arm go around his waist and Harry knew that if he died right there and then, he would go straight to Heaven.

 

'Beautiful isn't it?' Louis whispered in his ear and Harry closed his eyes momentarily as Louis' warm breath tickled his ear and neck. He felt his dick respond to the feeling especially since Louis was so close...so close he could feel his body heat.

 

'It is,' Harry told him a little breathlessly, his head hazy from all the excitement and emotions going through him. They stayed for a few minutes enjoying the view then Louis pulled back and took his hand again.

 

'Come on, we have a dinner reservation at the VIP Lounge,' he told him casually and Harry turned, his mouth slightly open.

 

'We are dining on the Eiffel Tower?' he asked and Louis smirked.

 

'What did you think? I was taking you to Burger King?' He tugged on his hand and pulled a mystified Harry into the beautiful lounge where a table was awaiting them with a view of the city below. They were seated and Louis ordered a bottle of wine as he watched Harry still taking in the view. It was a relaxing evening as they ate French food and drank French wine and they talked, Louis asking Harry a lot of questions about himself. He wanted to know him and Harry was more than happy to tell him about himself and his life. When they were done, they took another stroll outside enjoying the view. They stopped to look at the Seine flowing below them, its waters illuminated by the street lights reflected on its surface. Harry's hair was blowing softly and as he looked out over the city, he asked Louis:

 

'Can I kiss you?' he asked in a soft low voice as if afraid of speaking loudly. Harry felt Louis' hand on his waist turning him around to face him.

 

'I would be disappointed if we didn't kiss on the Eiffel Tower,' he told him and Harry leaned in capturing his soft lips in an innocent kiss. They moved closer, their bodies pressed against each other and when Louis touched the tip of his tongue to Harry's lower lip, Harry parted his lips for him and Louis' tongue was inside Harry's mouth dominating him and Harry let him. The kiss became heated and passionate and it was Louis who pulled away first, his breathing deep and heavy. Louis stroked Harry's warm cheek with the back of his hand.

 

'Shall we go back to our hotel?' he asked him, the question suggesting more than the question he simply asked and Harry nodded. Louis took his hand and they walked back to the elevator and down to the waiting limo. They both could feel the sexual tension between them. It was thick and heavy and they both felt hard in their trousers. Louis was nervous because he knew what was going to happen. It had to happen now. He wanted it to happen just as much as Harry did but he was nervous and he kept hearing Marc's words in his ears to not fuck it up for Harry, to be romantic, to not be a caveman. Louis felt as if he was choking, a panic attack starting deep inside of him. But then he felt Harry's hand cover his own and squeeze it gently as if he knew what Louis was thinking and Louis told himself that he got this.

 

Sure you do. Just gonna watch you fuck this up so bad.

 

They got to the hotel and rode up to their suite in silence. Louis opened the door and let Harry in before him as he closed the door softly behind him, flicking on the lights. The silence was a little awkward because they both knew what they wanted though some doubt still lingered in Harry's mind about whether Louis wanted to fuck him or not. He decided to throw caution to the wind and initiate it. He walked over to him and stood before him.

 

'What can I do to repay you for all you have done for me today?' Harry asked him in his slow, deep drawl and Louis felt his voice go down straight to his dick.

 

'Harry you don't have to......'

 

'I want to,' Harry interrupted him. 'Please.' That soft please right there made Louis hard because Harry is all there for the taking, offering himself to him again. So Louis looked at him, deep into his green eyes.

 

'Strip for me,' he whispered. And Harry felt his heart soar because he could do that. That was something he was good at. He took Louis' hand and led him into the bedroom. He pulled out a chair for him and placed it in the middle of the room, in front of the bed. Louis took off his jacket and sat down. Harry fumbled with his phone looking for music and settled for 'Red Light Special', by TLC. The seductive music started playing and Harry turned around giving his back to Louis. Louis could already feel all his blood going to his cock. Harry slowly took off his jacket, easing it as if in slow motion off his shoulders and letting it fall silently to the carpeted floor. He toed off his boots kicking them to the side. He moved his hips slowly from side to side and then turning them in a complete circle popping his ass out toward Louis. Louis gulped. Damn this mother fucker was good at stripteasing and being seductive!

 

Harry turned to face Louis and began undoing the buttons of his silk shirt one at a time ever so slowly, keeping eye contact with Louis, always moving his hips seductively to the music. Louis wanted to rip the god damn shirt off him but Harry was taking his sweet time. When all buttons were undone, Harry ran his hands up his torso, stopping as his nipples, brushing his thumbs over them. He closed his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip as he pinched them slightly and it was taking Louis all of his control not to get up and slam him against the wall. Harry took off the shirt slowly, exposing one shoulder at a time, then letting it fall to the floor.

 

He walked over to Louis and stood before him, swaying his hips and playing teasingly with the button of his pants. Louis watched eagerly, licking his lips and wanting desperately to reach out and pull off his God damn trousers. Harry could see that Louis was getting all worked up and he was enjoying himself riling him up. He opened the button of his pants and ever so slowly pulled down his zip. Louis held his breath when he caught a tiny glimpse of black lace. Harry turned his back to Louis again and ever so slowly pulled down his pants, bending over to reveal his ass and his thong. Louis bit his bottom lip hard, his fingers clenching and unclenching on his thighs, his body feeling as if it was on fire from the inside out.

 

Once Harry was out of his trousers he continued to gyrate and sway his hips to the music. He turned away from Louis and placed both his hands on the wall, sticking his ass out for Louis to have a full view, then he dropped down into a professional squat, rising back up with his ass sticking out. He turned and walked over to Louis and straddled Louis lap. Immediately, Louis' hands cupped his ass cheeks, kneading them and spreading them, his hips moving of their own accord, his hard dick thrusting up against Harry crack. Harry whined low and Louis dug his fingers into the meaty flesh of his bum making Harry squirm in his lap, their hard cocks rubbing against each other. Harry was ready and Louis wasn't going to deny him this time. There was no turning back. They were at a point of no return and Louis was going to venture into a territory unknown to him.

 

'Get on the bed,' he ordered, his voice strict. That voice thrilled Harry. Louis' strict voice made him eager to submit himself wholly to Louis which was why he immediately got up off Louis and walked to the bed, sashaying his hips knowing that Louis was looking at his ass as he walked away from him. Harry pulled back the duvet and got on the soft white sheets which were cool and felt heavenly against his flushed skin. He felt hot and horny, excited and a little scared. Louis walked over to the bed and sat on the side next to Harry, his eyes roaming every inch of Harry's skin. Harry felt embarrassed as he lay there, exposed in just his thong and his fully hard dick straining against the lace. Louis placed his hand on Harry's ankle and ever so softly trailed his fingers up Harry's leg, feather touches with the tips of his fingers. Harry closed his eyes basking in the feeling but wanting, needing more, so much more. Louis' fingers continued upwards passing over his hip, his tummy, his ribs, brushing one thumb lightly over Harry's perky nipple and watched Harry arch his back off the mattress and bite his bottom lips hard. Louis knew what he wanted and needed. His body was talking to him, screaming at him and Louis had to respond.

 

Louis stood up and commenced to undo the buttons of his shirt. Harry watched him with hungry eyes and he took in a sharp breath when Louis took off his shirt exposing his torso and arms that were littered with tattoos. Harry's eyes were wide with surprise. He got up on his knees on the bed and inspected him. Louis let him. He stood there for him and let him. Harry ran his fingers over his 'It Is What It Is' tattoo.

 

'I-I never thought......'

 

'I had tattoos?' Louis asked him. He scoffed. 'Yeah I got most of them when I was young.' Harry traced them with delicate fingers.

 

'So beautiful,' he murmured and Louis felt his heart expand. He took out his phone from his pants pocket and put some music on. He hoped that Leonard had put on some decent music like Marc had suggested. Rod Stewart's husky voice singing 'Tonight's The Night' filled the room. Harry smirked at him as his hands trailed down and he opened the button of his pants and pulled down the zip, easing them down off his hips and letting them fall to his ankles. Louis stepped out of them and Harry drank in the sight before him : Louis in just his black Calvin Klein boxers and an awfully big hard on that was just for him. Harry resumed his earlier position, lying on his back on the bed and Louis took in a deep breath.

 

Here we go. Don't fuck this up.

 

He climbed on the bed and placed himself on top of Harry, Harry spreading his legs to accommodate him. Louis felt weird because he had never done it this way. He never liked to look in their faces. He always had them on their tummy, did his business and rolled over just enough to catch his breath then he was out of there. But this...this was different. Harry looked like an angel beneath him and his heart was pounding because he wanted to do this right for Harry....and secretly for him too because this was new.

 

Harry looked up into his face and saw that Louis was tense and deep in thought. He stroked his cheek gently.

 

'Hey,' Harry told him, getting back his attention. Louis gave him a weak smile, trying to hide his own nervousness.

 

'Sorry,' he apologized and he didn't know why he was even apologizing but he felt the need to do so. 'I just want this to be perfect for you.' Harry continued to stroke his cheek loving the feel of stubble under his fingers.

 

'And for you?' Harry asked him, his voice deep and slow. Louis shifted a little, feeling his hard cock rub against Harry's own hard dick and the feeling sent sparks of electricity throughout his body.

 

'Oh it already is,' he told him as he leaned down and kissed him hungrily. The kiss soon became deep and passionate and needy. Their tongues collided as Louis' hand moved down to Harry's nipple. He ran his thumb over it a few times and felt the little nub respond, perking up immediately to his touch. He tweaked it between his thumb and forefinger making Harry arch his back and whine into his mouth. It was then that Louis rolled his hips down on Harry, both their hard dicks rubbing against each other, both of them needing the friction.

 

Harry was beginning to pant and sweat and Louis was loving the feeling of rutting hard against Harry. This was new and he was liking it. Louis began kissing down Harry's neck feeling the boy squirm beneath him impatiently. But he had to wait. He had to do this right. He had to prep him and that needed a lot of foreplay.

 

'Louis please,' Harry gasped out as he felt Louis' tongue flick out against his hard nipple. 'I-I'm going to-to explode.' Louis smiled against his skin and gently bit down on his sensitive bud making Harry groan.

 

'I need to prep you Harry. This is your first time. You need a lot of prep,' Louis told him in between placing kisses on his chest. Harry threw his head back on the pillow trying to control himself but the way Louis' lips were skimming his hot skin was making it so hard to keep any sense of control.

 

'Will-will it hurt?' Harry asked him his voice no more than a hoarse whisper. Louis brought his head up and looked at Harry.

 

'Yeah it will at first. And you will probably be very sore after I'm not gonna lie to you,' Louis told him honestly. 'So if you want to stop.....'

 

'No!' Harry was quick to interrupt him. 'Please don't.' Louis smiled at him and kissed him gently.

 

'Okay. I will try and be very gentle with you alright. You will feel a lot of pleasure too after the pain,' Louis promised him. Harry nodded. Louis looked down at Harry's black lace thong that was wet at the front. Louis palmed him slowly. 'Already leaking for me huh?' he asked him and Harry only whined in desperation. Louis kissed down his stomach, past his navel and happy trail and he was where Harry needed him to be. He needed him there so much. He wanted another blow job so badly. Louis mouthed at his clothed dick and Harry thrust up slowly and Louis let him. He wanted to feel his every move, every squirm and hear every moan and whine that escaped his lips. But Harry stopped suddenly and looked down at Louis who in return looked up at him.

 

'C-can I um m-move or do you want t-to like um tie me up?' Harry asked him flushing pink. He didn't know what Louis wanted from him and he really didn't want to disappoint him. Louis kissed the inside of his smooth thigh, his stubble scraping Harry's soft skin.

 

'No I don't want to tie you up and yes you can move,' Louis told him sweetly. Harry sighed in relief as Louis commenced to lick and suck at his dick through the lace, loving the contrast of the lace and Harry's hard dick beneath it. Harry was panting hard, his body coiled tight and wanting more more more. Louis stroked his thighs and sucked love bites into the soft flesh making Harry moan out loudly. He was leaking pre-come profusely and the lace felt sticky.

 

'L-Louis,' he panted out. All these emotions where too much for him and he needed release. Louis looked up at him from between his legs and the look on Harry's face made him weak inside, the butterflies in his stomach batting wildly and that feeling in his chest that he had had since he met Harry, was spreading like warm fire in his chest.

 

'Yes love?' he asked and surprised himself at the pet name he had just used on Harry and he was even more surprised at the way it naturally rolled off his tongue.

 

'I-I- n-need p-please I.......' he mumbled. Louis kissed the inside of his thigh again and moved up his body, lying on top of him but supporting his weight on his hands.

 

'Okay. I know what you need and I'm gonna do it,' Louis promised him. 'Let's get this thong off shall we?' he asked him and before Harry could reply, Louis was peeling it off of him, revealing Harry in all his wonderful glory. Louis had never been harder in his life. He was so hard, his dick was starting to ache. He reached over the bedside table where he had placed a bottle of lube, opened it and coated his fingers. He looked down at Harry's beautiful flushed face and decided to do something he had never done before. He was doing too many things with this boy that he had never done before so he might as well add another one to the list.

 

'I am going to prep you Harry,' Louis told him gently. 'Now it might hurt and you might feel uncomfortable and I don't want that for you. You are going to be overwhelmed with feelings you never had before so if you at any time want to stop me, we should have a safe word for you.' Harry blinked at him.

 

'A safe word?'

 

'Yeah. So I can stop. If it gets too much for you, use the safe word and I will stop immediately.' Louis felt really weird discussing safe words. It never occurred to him he might have to use one but Harry was special and this called for special treatment. Harry nodded at him. Louis gave him a chaste kiss on his lips. 'When you want me to stop simply say "RED" okay?' Harry nodded again. Louis took in a deep breath and braced himself. He lowered his lubed fingers down between Harry's legs.

 

'Open up for me,' Louis told him, nudging his thighs apart with his knee and Harry obeyed, parting his thighs wider for Louis. Louis ran his index finger round Harry's rim spreading the lube, making him jump a little at the contact. Louis looked at him concerned, his finger stopping all movements. Harry looked at him.

 

'Sorry. I-I just have n-never had anyone t-touch me there b-before,' he muttered and Louis felt that feeling again spreading inside him, making his limbs numb and his insides warm and fuzzy. He kissed Harry softly, easy and languidly and he poked at his very tight hole. He prodded his finger gently trying to breech his rim but it was tightly shut.

 

'Harry you need to relax for me. I can't enter you if you are going to be tense and keep yourself tightly shut,' Louis told him, his voice sugar sweet. He knew Harry was nervous, fuck he was too. Harry nodded. Louis kissed his cheek and temple and his jaw helping him to relax. He pushed his finger against the tight ring of muscle again and this time the tip of his finger eased inside. He felt Harry's fingers dig into his biceps and his breathing was fast and hard. 'Relax baby,' Louis cooed. 'Relax for me. Breathe in slowly.' And as Harry took in a deep breath, Louis pushed in his finger to the knuckle and Harry sobbed out a cry. Louis let his finger rest inside Harry's hole, feeling the tight warmness around his finger.

 

'Alright?' Louis asked him. Harry nodded, his eyes closed and his bottom lip between his teeth so Louis gently pulled his finger out and pushed it back in, making Harry whine and tighten his hold on his biceps. Louis built up an easy rhythm pulling his finger out and back in in Harry's tight heat, feeling him clench around his finger, letting Harry get used to the invading digit in his ass. When Louis felt him push his hips down trying to get more, he teased another finger next to the other one pushing it very gently inside Harry. He felt him tense a little but then he saw him breathe in deeply like he had told him to, so Louis pushed it all the way in making Harry choke out a sob. Louis knew he was stretching him out but he had to if he was going to take his cock which Louis was having serious doubts about how the fuck he was going to enter his tight ass.

 

Louis kept fucking him with two fingers for a while loving the feel of Harry's tight, wet heat around his fingers. He looked at him and he already looked fucked out and Louis hadn't even started with him yet. He thought now was time for a third finger and thus he began to push it in next to the other two. Harry felt the stretch and opened his eyes, his pupils glazed and dilated as he focused on Louis.

 

'Hurts,' he whispered. That one word went to Louis' heart because he really didn't want to hurt Harry but there was no other way. With his free hand Louis removed a few stray locks out of Harry's face, away from his sweaty forehead.

 

'Yeah it does but your body is made to stretch. Its just you are so tight, so new but I can stop if you want me to. If its too much for.......'

 

'No don't stop. I can take it. I will be good for you Louis. I will,' Harry told him as he licked his dry lips and Louis knew what Harry was thinking. He still felt like he was not enough after what Ryan had told him. Fucking Ryan. Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'You are already good enough sweetheart,' Louis told him again surprising himself that he was able to use such words on Harry. They flowed out so easily out of his mouth. Harry pushed his hips down a little indicating for Louis to carry on. 'Breathe in deeply,' Louis instructed him and as Harry did so, Louis pushed in his third finger, watching Harry's face scrunch up and his teeth clamp down on his bottom lip hard. Louis peppered his face with kisses. 'Relax and breathe mon cher,' Louis whispered in his ear and he felt Harry rut up against him, his ass clenching tight around his fingers.

 

'More,' Harry panted. And Louis gave him more. He gently but firmly fucked him with three fingers, scissoring him open, hearing him pant and whine and squirm beneath him and Louis knew he had to fuck him soon or he was just going to come from watching Harry's face and feeling his ass clench tight around his fingers. Louis curled up his finger suddenly and as Harry ground down his hips on Louis' fingers, Louis hit his prostate dead on. Louis felt Harry's body jerk as if electrocuted.

 

'Oh,' Harry whined out. Louis smiled against his neck.

 

'You like that hmm? Having your prostate tickled?' he asked him as he did it again and again and Harry was loosing control, his hips moving of their own accord trying to chase that feeling and Louis kept jabbing at it mercilessly until Harry came untouched all over himself, his body trembling and shaking as he rode out his orgasm. Louis gently pulled out his fingers, wiping them on the sheets and focused on Harry.

 

'You did so well,' Louis praised him. 'For a newbie you took three fingers like a champ and came untouched. I'm proud and impressed,' he told him as he placed a kiss on his forehead. 'But I see you're still half hard.' Harry pulled him down by the neck and kissed him hard and deep, his cum sticking to both their chests but neither of them cared.

 

'I want you now,' Harry breathed against his lips. And who was Louis to deny him this? He reached over the bedside table for a condom but Harry stopped him. 'No. I want to feel you.' Louis looked at him with wide eyes. He had never fucked anyone without a condom before and here was Harry not wanting one and not even asking him if he was clean or not! Louis felt endeared by the trust Harry had in him.

 

'Are you sure?' Louis asked him and Harry simply nodded. Louis swallowed hard but nodded at Harry then picked up the lube bottle, squirted a generous amount in his hand and slicked himself up really good. He placed himself at Harry's entrance, his head nudging at Harry's tight hole.

 

'Wrap your legs around my waist,' Louis told him. 'And remember use the safe word if it hurts too much or you get overwhelmed okay.' Harry nodded and braced himself, wrapping his long legs around Louis' waist locking them at the ankles and his hands on his biceps, fingers digging in. He felt like a koala bear wrapped around a tree trunk!

 

Louis began pushing slowly inside Harry, feeling his hole stretch to accommodate him. Harry let out a long, drawn moan and Louis watched his face scrunch up in pain.

 

'Relax baby,' Louis urged him. 'It will hurt less.' Harry swallowed a sob.

 

'I-I c-can't. It b-burns,' Harry choked out. Louis stopped moving. His thickest part wasn't even inside Harry yet. He stroked Harry's hair and kissed his cheeks.

 

'Yes it does but it will get better once I'm fully inside of you. You have never been stretched out this much before,' Louis told him still kissing his face and neck. 'Do you want to stop?' Louis asked him and in his heart he hoped Harry wouldn't say yes because he had never had such a tight ass before such at this and he was loving it. And he really needed to come now because he had been hard for a while now. Part of him wanted to just shove himself inside Harry in one go and fuck him into the mattress. After all, Harry himself had signed up for this but his rational side told him that he had signed up for this as well and Marc had told him not to be a caveman so.......

 

'No. Go on,' Harry said quietly. So Louis pushed himself further inside, inch by agonizing inch watching Harry take it even though he knew it was hurting him. By the stretch around his dick, Louis knew he might split him a little. By the time he was fully inside him, Harry was in tears, panting and shaking. He kept himself wrapped around Louis tightly, his face buried in the crook of Louis neck. Louis placed one hand round his waist pulling him closer and he began to move, dragging himself out then pushing back in, pulling out and pushing back in. Harry was moaning and whining and sobbing all at the same time but he never used the safe word and that urged Louis on. He picked up a rhythm, slow at first but soon he needed, had to go faster. He tried to be as gentle as possible but they were both too far gone now. His hips slammed into Harry and the only noise Harry was now making were soft "ah, ah, ah". Louis felt his orgasm began to build in his lower stomach urging him to push harder and faster into Harry. He removed his hand from around Harry's waist and took hold of Harry's dick, pumping him hard and fast to the same rhythm of his thrusts. And Louis felt it. He was close, oh so close.

 

'In or out?' he rasped out.

 

'In,' Harry whispered, his throat so dry it hurt to speak. Louis thrust in a few more times and exploded inside Harry's ass, filling him with his hot cum and as soon as Harry felt that he choked out a scream as he came for the second time. Louis kept moving inside Harry and pumping him till they both rode out their orgasm, then he stopped but stayed inside Harry. He couldn't believe he had just made love to this boy, this beautiful beautiful boy with the dimpled smile and heart of gold that had captured him. Louis looked into Harry's face and wiped away his tears, kissing his lips softly.

 

'Wow,' Louis told him. 'You were amazing. For a virgin you were extra ordinary. Was I okay for you?' Louis asked him a little wary. Harry gave him a tired smile.

 

'You were everything I have ever dreamed of my first time to be. Thank you,' Harry told him and Louis just had to kiss him again and again. When they stopped to take a breath Louis told him:

 

'Okay I'm gonna pull out. It might hurt a little.' Harry nodded and Louis pulled out as gently as he could, watching Harry wince. When he was out, he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, breathing hard. Harry felt the loss of contact no sooner had Louis rolled off of him and immediately his paranoid mind told him that this was it. That Louis had taken what he had been after for the last five weeks and soon all this will be over. He closed his eyes not really wanting to think about it right now. He felt the mattress dip and opened his eyes to find Louis looking down into his face.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked him and Harry nodded. He wanted Louis to cuddle him. He felt the need to be cuddled. He felt needy. Louis touched his face. 'What is it Harry? You know you can tell me anything right?' Harry gave him a shy smile.

 

'C-can you um h-hold me?' he asked him with a trembling voice. Louis mentally slapped himself. Of course Marc had told him to cuddle him afterwards and he immediately opened his arms for Harry as he lay back on the pillows. Harry rolled over and winced at the terrible burning pain in his backside. He hissed loudly.

 

'Sore?' Louis asked him as he wrapped his arms around him pulling him into his chest. Harry rested his head on Louis' chest, throwing his arm around his waist.

 

'Burns so much,' Harry told him. Louis kissed the top of his head.

 

'I know how to ease it for you and make it better,' Louis told him as he slid out from underneath Harry. Harry pouted that Louis had gotten up and Louis was quick to kiss his pout. 'I will be right back yeah. Just want to make you better.' Harry smiled up at him as he cuddled into Louis' pillow. Louis walked naked into the living room and called room service to send up a bottle of champagne, ice and fresh sheets. It only took ten minutes for his order to arrive and once his items where delivered he went back into the bedroom. He poured two glasses of champagne and handed one to Harry, who took it eagerly and drank some of it right away. He was parched. Louis drained all of his glass.

 

'Turn over on your tummy,' he told Harry. Harry looked at him curiously but did as he was told. Louis scowled when he saw the sheets stained with blood. Yeah he knew it would happen. Harry was too tight and the stretch had been too much for him which was why he still felt the burn.

 

'This will feel cold okay,' Louis warned him. He picked up an ice cube and spread his cheeks, running the cube over his red and abused hole. Harry jumped a little at the coldness but sighed in relief. Louis saw that his cum was still seeping out of him. He got another cube and ran it over his hole again letting it melt on Harry's hole. 'Now hold still,' Louis warned him as he took a fresh cube and gently, ever so gently pushed it inside Harry's hole. Harry whined loudly as the ice cube slid inside his hole but it felt heavenly as the cold ice melted inside of him easing the burn. Louis repeated it a couple of times, icing his hole on the outside and gently pushing ice cubes inside his hole until it was numb.

 

'How do you feel now?' he asked him kissing his lower back and up his spine. Harry smiled into the pillow, eyes half closed.

 

'Much better.'

 

'Good. Now you need to get up so we can shower. You um bled a little and you have my cum all over your thighs and we both have your cum on our chests so we should shower then change the sheets and sleep. You look worn out.' Harry buried his face in the pillow.

 

'I'm too tired,' he whined and Louis smiled, placing a kiss on his shoulders blades and slapped his ass playfully.

 

'Up you go. Don't make me ask you again.' And Harry was up, wincing a little, feeling water and cum trickle out of his hole and down the back of his legs. He looked at the bed and shuddered at the blood. 'Its nothing,' Louis assured him. 'It's normal that it happens.' Harry simply nodded as Louis took his hand and led them to the shower. This was another first for Louis. He always showered by himself yet here he was sharing a shower with Harry. They both got under the steaming hot water and Louis felt a little mesmerized as he watched Harry duck his head under the water soaking his curls that reached way down his shoulders. He needed to lay his hands on his glistening wet body. He just had to and so he did. He lathered Harry's hair and washed his body, gently running his hands over every curve, every joint, feeling his smooth skin and when Harry slowly dropped to his knees and took him in his mouth, Louis could swear he saw Heaven behind his closed eyes as Harry licked and sucked him hard, swallowing every drop Louis released in his mouth.

 

When they got out of the shower, Harry quickly changed the sheets and they crawled naked into the fresh sheets as Louis pulled the duvet over them, pulling Harry into his arms, holding him close. And Harry snuggled into him as close as he could get because he really didn't know how much time he had left with Louis. He didn't know when Louis would let him go and Harry wanted to take anything he could get and stamp them in his memory because there was no way he was ever going to forget Louis and he knew that when Louis decided to let him go, he would break. But for the time being he was safely wrapped up in Louis and Louis was holding him tight and that was all that Harry needed for the time being.

 

X

 

Louis POV (dreaming)

 

The room is pitch dark and I huddle in the corner as far away from the door as I possibly can. I can hear him. He's fighting with my mum again. I know she is trying to help me but I wish she wouldn't. He will never listen to her and whenever she stands up for me, he beats her and I feel its all my fault. I can hear her crying and screaming at him and begging him to leave me alone. But he won't. I know he won't and I wish she would stop trying so he won't hurt her. I love my mum so much and I can't bear to see him hurt her. I can hear him coming up the stairs and I know what's coming. One of his filthy friends or two will be over soon and....I don't even want to think it. I huddle closer in the corner hugging my teddy bear close to my chest maybe I can hide behind him. The door to my room bursts open and I jump. I can see him silhouetted in the light coming in from the corridor behind him and he has the belt. I can hear him rattling the handcuffs and I am so scared. Its going to happen again like almost every night. I can hear him calling my name. Why can't I disappear? Why can't I die just to be saved from all of this? He's walking into my room, his heavy boots thunking heavily on my wooden floor. I know he sees me. His big calloused hand closes around my ankle and I kick at him as I scream "Don't touch me! Don't touch me" till my lungs burn but I know its all for nothing.

End of POV

 

'Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me,' Louis screams out as his hands close around Harry's throat. Harry struggles beneath him to get him off of him but Louis is having some kind of nightmare. Harry trashes wildly as he feels Louis' fingers tighten more around his neck. He reaches to the bedside table where he left his glass of champagne half drunk, grabbed it and threw the sparkling liquid into Louis' face. The grip on his neck loosened and he watched Louis blink, coming back to reality as he took in huge gasps of air. Louis was straddling his lap and he looked down at Harry confused, wondering why he was straddling him and why on earth was Harry gasping and why his face was so red.

 

'Harry what happened?' Louis asked him getting off of him and sitting beside him.

 

'Water,' Harry croaked out and Louis was quick to go get him some water from the mini bar. Harry sat up and gulped down the cool water. Louis looked at him confused.

 

'What happened?' he asked him again. Harry looked at him, concern oozing out of him.

 

'Y-you had a bad dream or something. You were tossing around and I tried to wake you and as soon as I touched you, you started yelling don't touch me, don't touch me and y-you you were on top of me, trying to choke me.' Louis looked at him with wide eyes. So it had happened again! The only one time he hadn't taken his meds just because he wanted to sleep naturally with Harry and he almost choked him to death. Louis felt horrified that this had happened, more so that he had hurt Harry.

 

What did you expect? That because you stopped your medication all your shit will go away? Think again lover boy. Your demons are fighting to get out.

 

Louis got off the bed and pulled on his boxers and a robe.

 

'Louis,' Harry croaked out. His throat hurt and his Adam's apple felt bruised.

 

'Go back to sleep Harry,' Louis told him in a stern, cold voice. Harry slid off the bed, put on a robe and followed him out into the living room only to see Louis out on the balcony. He was not going to let him do this whatever this was! He went out on the balcony and stood beside him.

 

'Louis its okay,' Harry told him.

 

'No its not fucking okay!' Louis snapped at him and Harry felt himself shy away from him. So was it going back to this? But Harry was not about to back down.

 

'It was just a nightmare. You didn't mean it and I'm fine.' Louis scoffed.

 

'Just a nightmare. You know shit about me so don't make assumptions,' he told him in a harsh voice. Harry began to feel the big void settling between them. He looked down at his bare feet, feeling his heart shattering.

 

'Please Louis don't do this. Please,' he pleaded. Louis turned on him in a rage.

 

'Don't do what huh Harry? You think you know me? You think I'm yours just because we fucked? You think you have a say in my life now just because I fucked you?' Harry felt the tears well up in his eyes at Louis' cruel words. It didn't take long for dark Louis to emerge.

 

'I-I thought......'

 

'You thought what? That you will be in my life and I will spill all my secrets to you and tell you my life story and let you comfort me? That I will beg you to save me and you will whisk me away into the moonlight like a fucking knight in shining armor? Please! You and your romantic shit!' Louis yelled at him. Harry flinched at his raised voice. Harry looked at him, the tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

'I-I'm sorry. You're right. I'm nothing special to you. I just had something you wanted which I gave you because I....' Harry paused and shook his head as if dispelling the thought in his head. 'I'm sorry Louis. I-I just wanted to be there for you,' he told him sniffing at his tears.

 

He hurried inside and straight into the bedroom. He climbed on the bed still wrapped in his robe and curled in on himself, crying silently into the pillow. So this was it. And he couldn't blame Louis for any of it. He had wanted this level of intimacy with this man who had offered him nothing in return. He knew well enough that he was nothing more than a fuck to him. And he cried because his ass hurt and it burned, reminding him of the most special moment in his life so far.

 

Harry didn't hear Louis softly padding into the bedroom until he was kneeling by the bed beside him, his face level with his. He closed his eyes when he felt Louis' hand remove the curls away from his face and swipe at his tears with his thumb. He cried some more when he felt Louis' lips on his forehead.

 

'I'm sorry,' Louis whispered. 'I didn't mean to hurt you. I just...I.'

 

'You don't need to explain anything to me,' Harry told him in a broken voice. 'Everyone has their demons Louis and everyone deals with them the way they see fit. I don' t want you to tell me anything of your personal life simply because of what we did. You were right Louis, we just fucked and its nothing special......'

 

'No no no Harry no no. We didn't fuck. We made love baby and that's special. Please don't take any of it upon you. Don't cry please,' Louis told him gently and Harry felt himself melt and fall harder for this man. 'Scoot over,' Louis told him and Harry turned on his other side as Louis got up on the bed beside him, spooning him. Louis curled himself around Harry, pulling him tightly into his chest. He placed kisses behind his ear.

 

 

'Sleep,' Louis told him softly and Harry cuddled closer into Louis and closed his eyes. He was tired and worn out. Louis held him till Harry's breathing evened out and he heard soft snores leaving his mouth. Louis never hated himself more than he did in that precise moment! He had hurt Harry emotionally and physically. He figured he should've never slept next to him. He wasn't made for this. His demons were coming out and they wanted to play but he couldn't have them close to Harry. He couldn't let them touch his Harry. Harry was pure and his demons were disgusting! He slowly slipped out of bed and covered Harry with the duvet, then grabbed the remaining bottle of champagne, took one backward glance to make sure Harry was still asleep and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. He went to sit out on the balcony, drinking champagne and waiting for the dawn. He knew he would not be getting any more sleep tonight. Not after what he had done.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 9........................


	9. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys just wanna say a big huge thank you to all of you for taking time to read my fic and loving it. Also a bit thanks for the comments. I love them so much. You guys are too kind. Here's chapter 9 for you.  
> All the love  
> M.

Changes.

 

 

Harry woke up to an empty bed. He was snuggled up in his robe and under the quilt and he was warm but the other side of the bed was empty. And it was cold. The events from last night quickly came back to him and he smiled when he remembered what a day it had been, how romantic Louis had been and how making love with Louis had been the highlight of his life so far. He got up slowly and winced a little at the pain in his ass. It wasn't as bad as yesterday. The burning was gone. Now it only felt as if he had been kicked in the ass and had a big bruise inside but nothing too bad or that he couldn't handle.

 

He got up slowly and padded out into the living room and found Louis, fully dressed in a dark suit, his hair quiffed to perfection, cuff links on his cuffs as he sat sipping coffee and reading a French business newspaper. Formal Louis was back. Harry walked over to him and sat down in the chair next to him.

 

'Good morning,' he told him in his deep morning voice. Louis looked up from the newspaper briefly and gave him a small tight smile. Harry's heart sank. Yesterday's Louis wasn't here today.

 

'Good morning,' Louis told him. 'There's breakfast for you. We leave in two hours.' He went back to reading his newspaper, totally disregarding Harry. Harry wanted to snatch it away, throw it on the floor and make Louis look at him.

 

'Louis,' Harry said, his voice no more than a whisper. Louis looked up but didn't look at him and waited. 'Are we good?' Louis' eyes went back to the newspaper.

 

'I suggest you get a move on with breakfast and shower if we are to make it on time.'

 

'Louis please don't shut me out. Not now. Not after...' Harry paused feeling his heart ache in his chest. 'Not after yesterday. I know it might not mean that much to you but to me, its..its everything.' Louis looked up again, his eyes a little softer.

 

'We're good,' he told him. Harry decided to drop it as he didn't want to anger Louis with his whining. He got up and went to the small kitchenette and helped himself to breakfast. He kept his eyes on Louis as he ate and sipped his tea but Louis' attention was on the newspaper. Harry remembered last night, how gentle Louis had been and how he had felt him move inside of him. How he had filled him up so good and under the robe, Harry felt his dick twitch. He wanted him again. He wanted to feel his arms around him, feel safe in his embrace. He wanted Louis back because right now, he felt as if Louis was a million miles away from him. Louis had emotionally disconnected himself and Harry needed that connection now more than ever.

 

When he was finished with breakfast, he went into the bedroom to get ready. He left Louis out on the balcony talking on his phone. Harry looked around the bedroom, the unmade bed and the sheets on the floor holding the last traces of his virginity which he had given to the man he.....he what? Yes, Harry felt more than a simple attraction to Louis. It wasn't a crush. It went deeper. Harry chewed on his bottom lip nervously and refused to bring to life the thought swarming in his mind because if he allowed himself to think that he had fallen in love with Louis, then he was in deep trouble. He couldn't feel it. He couldn't even think it. But he couldn't deny it either. It was there, growing and blossoming like a flower and Harry knew he couldn't stop it.

 

He went into the bathroom, stripped off his robe and got under the hot water. Today he was 20 years old. He didn't want to dwell too much on his life. He couldn't complain that he had had a bad childhood. His childhood had been wonderful. The trouble had only started when he had come out to his parents and his father had....Harry didn't want to go there. He missed his mum though. His birthday had always been a special day to his mum because she had always told him that he had been the greatest gift in her life and she couldn't thank him enough for making her a mother. She had always spoiled him on his birthday and made it extra special, spending the day with him, fussing over him, giving him abundant kisses and hugs and gifts. Harry felt a lump close around his throat because God only knew how much he needed her right now just so that she could hold him and kiss him and hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Harry longed for his mum so badly and maybe that was the reason why he never looked forward to his birthday too much because it had always been a joint celebration between him and his mum. A few tears escaped his eyes but where washed away quickly by the shower spray.

 

After he was done with his shower, Harry quickly got dressed and packed his small suitcase then went out into the living room where Louis was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone.

 

'I'm ready,' Harry told him quietly. Louis got up, avoiding eye contact.

 

'Great. I'll call for a bellhop,' Louis replied. They waited for ten minutes in the most awkward silence ever until the bellhop knocked on their door and took their suitcases down to the lobby. On their way down in the elevator, Harry wanted to say something to Louis, anything but he didn't know what and he was getting frustrated. Louis was ignoring him and he didn't know what for. He assumed that it had something to do with the nightmare but that was really no big issue. The elevator dinged open and they walked out into the lobby. Louis went to the reception desk to check them out, Harry following him like a lost puppy. When that was done, they went outside to a waiting car that drove them to the airport.

 

As they sat in the car, Harry looked outside at the passing scenery, silently saying goodbye to Paris and internally crying for the way a beautiful day had ended. He knew he couldn't reach Louis unless he wanted to be reached and if Louis had closed his doors to Harry, no matter how much he knocked, Louis wouldn't open unless he wanted to.

 

They got to the airport and the next phase of the process was like a haze to Harry. He just followed Louis until they were seated on the plane. Alone. Harry sat next to him on the couch as Louis flipped open his tablet and logged on to his email. Harry couldn't take it anymore, watching Louis ignore him to the point where he was feeling invisible.

 

'Louis please,' Harry whispered in a broken voice. He actually wanted to scream and shout in his face but he couldn't do that.

 

'Please what?' Louis asked, his eyes focused on the tablet. Harry sighed.

 

'Did last night mean nothing to you? Did any of this mean anything to you?' Harry asked him quietly.

 

'Harry...' Louis began not looking at him.

 

'Please just look at me,' Harry begged him. Louis kept his eyes on the tablet but wasn't actually looking at the screen.

 

'I can't,' he simply said and Harry felt that go to his heart.

 

'Why not?' he asked him around the lump forming in his throat. Louis sighed.

 

'Because if I look at you, I will see those red marks I left around your neck when I tried to.....' he paused. Harry scooted closer to him.

 

'They are nothing Louis.'

 

'Don't say that!' Louis snapped at him. 'To me its....' he paused again and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. 'To me its a lot Harry. I could've....'

 

'But you didn't,' Harry assured him. 'You didn't. I'm fine. Please Louis don't let this come between us. Please. I miss you,' Harry choked out. Louis said nothing and still didn't look at Harry but his hand found Harry's fingers and intertwined his own through Harry's and squeezed them gently. Harry sighed internally and let Louis work through this at his own pace, hoping he will come back to him soon.

 

When they landed at Heathrow, Angus was waiting for them outside the arrivals VIP Lounge. After greeting his boss and Harry, he put the luggage in the car and made his way through the busy streets of London.

 

'Where to Sir?' Angus asked Louis.

 

'To Edgware Road. We are dropping off Harry home,' Louis told him, his voice flat. Harry looked at him startled.

 

'You're dropping me home?' he asked him not hiding the shock in his voice. Louis gave him a side ways glance.

 

'Is there anywhere else you would like to be dropped off at?' Louis asked him coldly. Harry shook his head slightly and looked down trying to hide his disappointment.

 

'Home is fine,' he said quietly.

 

'I will have Leonard drop off your things later,' Louis told him, his voice now frigid and Harry was doing all he could not to burst into tears and throw a fit in the car. But what had he expected? For Louis to take him to his house? It was then that Harry remembered to ask him about tonight.

 

'Louis?' he asked softly.

 

'Hmm?' Louis asked not taking his eyes off his phone.

 

'W-would you um like t-to come out w-with me and m-my friends t-tonight for m-my birthday?' Harry asked stuttering a little because he was so frustrated he couldn't even speak. He couldn't understand how this was the same Louis! This time Louis actually looked at him and he had a smirk on his face.

 

'Why?' he asked him. 'We already celebrated your birthday.' Harry hated that he was using this tone with him. His cold, unfeeling tone, like he was void of all emotions. Harry wrung his fingers nervously.

 

'I um j-just thought that m-maybe you would like to um meet my f-friends.' Louis chuckled humourlessly.

 

'Why the fuck would I want to meet your judgemental friends?' Louis stopped himself immediately when he realized he was about to give away Harry's drunken confessions the night of the party when he had told him how his friends thought he was just using him for sex. 'Look, I don't have time to hang out with your buddies. I have to work to make up for the time I took off this weekend.'

 

'Okay,' Harry told him sadly. They didn't speak for the rest of the drive and Harry dreaded arriving home but soon Angus was pulling up in his street and stopped in front of his flat. Louis didn't say anything and Harry knew that he had to get out of the car but he couldn't leave without saying anything. He didn't even know if he was going to see Louis again or if this was the end.

 

'T-thank you for everything,' Harry told him, his voice barely above a whisper and choked out.

 

'It was nothing,' Louis told him dryly and Harry knew that Louis was right. It was nothing! It had been nothing! Harry waited another beat for Louis to say something, anything but Louis didn't, so Harry got out of the car, took the suitcase from Angus and opened the door to his building. By the time he turned to look back at the car, Angus had pulled out and was driving away.

 

Harry sighed heavily and there was nothing left for him to do but to go upstairs. He unlocked the door to the flat and walked inside, leaving the suitcase by the door. He looked around the lonely place and he never felt lonelier. After Louis' grand house and being surrounded by people and a day away with Louis, this felt sad and depressing. He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. His mother had always told him that when things got bad, there was nothing that a cup of tea and a long hot bath couldn't fix and that's what Harry intended to do. He found a note from Niall telling him to meet them at the pub/wine bar where Ed worked at six pm. Harry made a cup of tea, put on Stevie Nicks and went into the bathroom to fill up the bath.

 

X

 

When Harry was out of the car and Angus drove away, Louis exhaled deeply and sagged in his seat. He felt awful for the way he was treating Harry but this detachment had to happen. He had to let him down as gently as he could and let him go.

 

Just right after you fucked him and gave him the best memory, one you know he will never forget? Wow is there an award for Best Son of A Bitch? Cos I' m telling you, you would win that hands down flat!

 

That made Louis feel guilty but Harry had seen his dark side. Harry now knew there was something wrong with him. And he had hurt Harry. This was getting too complicated and he was getting in too deep. But how could he not? Harry was the epitome of perfect.

 

Maybe you should open up to him. Let him in. But God forbid Louis Tomlinson makes himself vulnerable to anyone!

 

Louis shook the idea out of his head right away. It was unthinkable! He couldn't let Harry in any further than he already was. Nobody before Harry had ever reached in and touched him the way he had and Louis couldn't handle it. He was feeling things he couldn't understand.

 

Maybe you should call your therapist. He's the only equipped person who can remotely understand and deal with your fuckedupness.

 

By the time Louis arrived at his office, he had made up his mind to get Lynn to make an appointment with Anthony his therapist. He hadn't needed a session for a long while now but Louis figured he was close to another one and maybe get Anthony to change his medication into something stronger.

 

However, once he got inside his office and sat at his desk, all thoughts of Harry flew out the window at the amount of work Lynn brought before him. He had stacks of papers to go through and sign to finalize his last deals and set them in motion. He was informed that he had three meetings today and drinks and dinner tonight with a potential client. Louis let out a satisfied breath. This was his world, his domain. This was where he belonged and in here, doing what he loved, nothing could touch him.

 

X

 

Harry opened his closet and looked at his clothes, trying to decide what to wear to go out with his friends. He wasn't going to wear any of the clothes Louis had gotten him. Everything was still in the suitcase along with the bag Leonard had delivered a while ago which also contained the laptop and the camera. He left everything packed as it was. Still, he couldn't help but wonder if he was still doing the photo shoot for Marc Jacobs tomorrow. He doubted it highly but he still checked his phone every five minutes to see if Louis had sent him a text. His phone remained silent.

 

He pulled out his ripped skinny jeans, a white tee shirt, boots and his light blue velvet blazer. He quickly got dressed, fixed his curls, stuffed his phone in his back pocket and headed out. As he walked to the underground station, he decided to forget Louis for a while and enjoy his time with his friends. It had been a while since they all hung out together and it was his birthday so he was going to make an effort and be happy.

 

When he arrived at the pub, his friends were all there : Nick, Liam and Zayn, Niall and Ed who had taken the night off tonight so that he could join in the celebrations. As soon as he walked in, they all cheered and called him over, hugging him and wishing him a happy birthday, asking how he'd been and what he had been up to, details of which he kept to a minimum and not mentioning Louis at all, which meant he had to lie. When they seemed satisfied that he was okay, they handed him presents. Harry soon relaxed as he opened his gifts which included a Fleetwood Mac vinyl from Niall, ticket concerts for The Rolling Stones at Wembley from Nick, a vintage Journey tee shirt from Ed and a gift voucher from Top Man from Zayn and Liam. Harry couldn't help the beaming smile on his face. He considered himself so lucky to have these friends and he was glad that they were not still mad at him over Louis. Niall jumped up off the stool.

 

'First round on me. Let the celebrations being,' he shouted and went off to order the first round of drinks. He soon came back followed by a waiter who had a tray loaded with pints of beer and about a dozen shots. The waiter put everything on their table and left. Niall handed out drinks to all and they each picked up a shot glass.

 

'A toast,' Niall began. 'To our little Harry who has left his teenage years and stepped into his twenties. Our baby boy is growing up. To you Harry, to long life and health and prosperity and may all your dreams come true.' They clinked their glasses and downed the shots. Harry was feeling happy but he missed him. He felt as if a part of him was missing. He didn't know how big of a part that was, but he missed him. He watched his friends all laugh and crack jokes and he was glad to be here but he desperately missed Louis. Each time he tried to sit down on the stool (which was why he had opted to stand) he felt his ass hurt and it reminded him of Louis inside of him and how that was probably the one and only time he was going to be that close to him.

 

'Hey Harry,' Nick said pulling him out of his miserable thoughts. 'You made the newspapers again.' Harry's heart stopped. Did someone pap him with Louis again? Had they been seen? Harry looked at Nick who was scrolling through his phone then handed it to Harry when he had found what he had been looking for. Harry looked at the article in The Sun which was only a few lines long made by Louis' PR team denying any romantic attachments to said brunette that was papped strolling with Louis by Tower Bridge. The PR team labeled it as "nothing to discuss further regarding Mr. Tomlinson's status". Harry handed back the phone to Nick as he felt his heart plummet. Of course there was nothing to discuss. He was nothing!

 

'Still seeing the prick?' Nick asked sarcastically.

 

'Nick don't!' Liam warned him. 'Its Harry's birthday.' Nick scoffed.

 

'Yeah and he was supposed to grace us with his presence. Isn't that what boyfriends do?' he taunted. Harry felt his heart grow heavy.

 

'He um he had to um work,' Harry told them. 'He w-wanted to come but.....'

 

'Harry,' Niall stopped him. 'It doesn't matter yeah. All that matters is that you're here.' Niall gave Nick a killer look. Harry felt a lump close around his throat and he picked up his beer and took a healthy swallow hoping it would dislodge the lump. He decided then to get wasted. What better way was there to forget Louis than to drown him out with alcohol? He picked up another shot and downed it.

 

'I want to get drunk,' he told his friends and they all cheered loudly as Ed motioned to the bar tender for another round. The drinks flowed and Harry began to relax and the memory of Louis receded to the back of his mind but he couldn't help throwing the occasional glance towards door or the hope inside his chest that Louis would walk through them. And the more he looked, the more he drank just to make his mind stop asking him to look and his heart to hope.

 

Everyone was laughing and having a good time and their good time was stepped up just as a member of the staff announced that karaoke would start soon. Immediately, Niall, Nick and Liam were all up for urging everyone to take part. Harry's foggy mind agreed but first he excused himself to go to the bathroom after refusing assistance from Nick who had been taking advantage of a drunk Harry to touch him and hold him close.

 

Harry stumbled a little on the way to the men's restroom and when he got there, he was grateful that it was empty. As soon as he closed the door behind him, the noise was drowned out. He rested his arms on the sink because his head was spinning a little too fast and he needed to regain some sort of control over his drunken self. He looked in the mirror and he tried to smile at himself but the image was distorted and his eyes weren't focusing. He pulled out his phone hoping Louis might have texted him but when he swiped it, there was nothing. And Harry felt the familiar hollow in his chest that had settled since Louis had dumped him on the door step of his apartment right after landing in Heathrow that morning.

 

He went into a cubicle, closed the toilet seat, locked the door and sat down. The cubicle spun a little and for a while he had to hold onto the sides to keep from tipping sideways. He giggled to himself. When the cubicle stopped spinning, Harry scrolled through the photos he had taken of them in Paris and when he saw Louis' face he felt the urge to cry. He quickly went to his contacts and stopped over Louis' name. He hit dial and waited as he heard the ringtone then he was met with the mechanical voice of "you have reached mailbox". Harry huffed and let her finish then when he heard the beep, he took in a deep breath.

 

'Hi Louis,' he slurred into the phone. 'Its me Harry. I just called to say I miss you. It hurts where I miss you. I keep thinking of yesterday and last night and,' he paused because he got all choked up. 'And I know you don't want me anymore. I know that but I can't help the way I feel. I'm so sorry. I'm kinda drunk but my heart really hurts because you are not here with me and I really really like really miss you. Okay I'll go now.' He hung up and walked out of the restroom without a second thought because if he stayed in there for another minute, he would definitely call Louis again and cry on the phone while begging him to come get him.

 

 

X

 

Louis arrived at the designated restaurant where he was to have his business dinner with his potential client. As he walked inside, he wondered if Harry was enjoying his birthday with his friends and he couldn't help the stab of jealousy he felt that somebody else was spoiling him and making him laugh and happy. He knew it was cruel and irresponsible of him to just dump him right after he had made love to him but he couldn't do otherwise.

 

You should've thought of that before you deflowered him. You should've left the boy untouched but no you had to ruin him and leave him. Nice going!

 

For once, Louis didn't feel anger towards his subconscious because it was right. He should've left him as he found him, untouched, but Louis was selfish and since Harry was eager to give out, then who was he to deny himself and not take?

 

He walked inside and the Maitre' D showed him to a table where four men were already seated. Louis never liked to be punctual for a business meeting of this kind. Let them sweat it out for ten minutes he reckoned. The men stood up and shook his hand while introductions where being made. Louis ordered a neat Scotch. He had a feeling he might need a few of these tonight before the night was over. And so it commenced. He sat there sipping his whiskey and nibbling at food while he listened to propositions and ideas, discussions and arguments. He nodded where was needed and talked when it was absolutely necessary.

 

After half an hour of this, the main course arrived and Louis realized he was famished. As he began to eat, he felt his phone vibrate. While the men talked amongst themselves, Louis took out his phone and saw that he had a voice mail. Thinking it was from the office, he punched in his security code and waited. When he heard Harry's broken and slurry voice coming through his phone, his heart fell. When he heard his choked up words, he felt himself die a little inside. When Harry hung up, he got up and pushed his chair back. The four men looked up at him.

 

''I apologize for cutting this short but I just got an emergency call and I need to go. Please call my secretary and reschedule. Send the bill to my company.' He quickly shook hands with the men and dashed outside where Angus was waiting for him. He got inside, told him where to go and told Angus to step on it.

 

 

X

 

When Louis arrived at the pub slash wine bar that Harry had told him they would be celebrating his birthday at, it was in the exact moment that Harry was being urged to go up and sing. Louis stopped by the doorway and his eyes zoomed in on Harry. He was laughing that cute smile of his while pushing his curls away from his face. His friends were urging him on and he was slowly succumbing. Louis didn't miss the way Nick's hands where going up and down his back and his arms.That son of a bitch was feeling him up and Harry was letting him.

 

He's drunk. He probably doesn't even know who's touching him. Don't unleash your anger on the boy.

 

Louis watched as Harry, all smiles and flushed cheeks made his way up to the small stage and took the microphone in his hand while his friends whistled and clapped and cheered him on. The music started and Louis froze. It was one of them songs that Leonard had put on his phone (because secretly Louis had listened to a few of them but nobody needed to know that) and he recognized this one. He stood immobile as Harry parted his red plumb lips, albeit swaying a little bit and his beautiful voice came out:

 

I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

What started out as friendship has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

 

Louis gulped hard. Those words coming out of Harry's mouth combined with the sad lost look now Harry sported made Louis feel somewhat a little weak. Harry's face had lost the smile and he seemed to be deep in thought, far away from the noisy bar. He kept his eyes down, shielded so no one could see his emotions but Louis felt them. From across the crowded bar, he felt them.

 

I tell myself I can't hold out forever

I said there is no reason for my fear

'Cause I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction, you make everything so clear

 

And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winters night

And I'm getting closer that I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore..........

 

Louis was lost and hooked and drawn in. Harry's voice was deep and beautiful and he sang with feeling and emotion and meaning and Louis knew that Harry was sad and that he was sad because of him. Because he had hurt him. His mouth hung a little open as he watched him up there sing his heart out.

 

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

I've been running round in circles in my mind

And it always seems that I'm following you, girl

Cos you take me to the places that alone I'd never find......

 

Louis was contemplating whether to leave this hell hole and Harry behind once and for all because the rawness in Harry's voice and emotions all splayed out for everyone to see was making Louis feel too many things, or go up there, grab him by the arm and drag him outside and shake him hard, which was not a very good idea unless he wanted Harry to throw up all over his Yves Saint Laurent suit. He battled with his rational mind, his common sense, his subconscious and his heart on what to do but his heart won out because he found himself walking forward further into the bar until he was standing with Harry's friends at their table just in time as Harry finished the song. It was Liam who noticed him first.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson!' he exclaimed. 'Hi. Hello. We didn't um, I mean Harry said....'

 

'I wasn't coming?' Louis cut him off. 'Well I changed my mind.' By now the others noticed him and all turned to greet him. They introduced themselves to him full of excitement except Nick who simply scowled at him. Louis shook their hands politely but he wasn't really impressed with the group of people. His sole purpose of being here was Harry not to socialize. By now Harry stumbled his way over and immediately settled between Nick's legs not seeing Louis right away. Nick was quick to wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him closer, his back to his chest.

 

'You were amazing out there handsome,' Nick told him, fully aware that Louis eyes were on them. Louis cleared his throat and Harry's eyes met his. He saw them widen a fraction as if in surprise but the bastard was a little bit too intoxicated to react to Louis' presence. He snuggled further between Nick's legs and Louis felt his blood boil.

 

He probably thinks you're a hallucination. You did tell him you weren't coming!

 

Hallucination my ass! Louis snapped back at his subconscious, who even it with its snarky remarks shied away into the dark recess of Louis' brain from the temper that was slowly brewing inside Louis. Louis kept his eyes narrowed and trained on Harry but the bastard was avoiding his gaze at all costs as he downed another shot and let Nick's hands slowly crawl up his chest.

 

'Harry,' Louis said his name sternly, still Harry kept his eyes lowered. 'I want a word with you.' Harry bit his lower lip.

 

'No,' he slurred. Louis ground his teeth together. This motherfucker was going to play up in front of his friends was he?

 

'Now!' Louis emphasized the word but Harry kept his head down and shook it slightly. Liam, Zayn and Niall looked from one to the other not oblivious to the tension between them.

 

'He's kinda busy at the moment,' Nick smirked at him and Louis wanted to reach out and smack him across his face and wipe off that stupid grin off his face once and for all. Louis watched as Nick nuzzled his face into Harry's back and Harry let him. Harry was fucking letting him touch him!

 

'Get your fucking hands off of him,' Louis said through gritted teeth but that only made Nick grin wider.

 

'He's not yours. Aren't you Harry darling?' Nick asked him sweetly as Harry continued to chew on his bottom lip not looking up. Louis struggled hard to keep his cool, to not lose his shit. He was in a public place and he was a public figure. He didn't want to end up on some tabloid screaming about how Louis Tomlinson of TGE was in a bar fight! He gave Nick his bitch face.

 

'The only reason he is letting you touch him is because he is intoxicated. So have some self respect and dignity and save yourself the embarrassment of latching on to someone who won't look at you twice when he's sober. We all know who Harry wants now get your fucking hands off of him before I call the police.' Louis' voice was like steel. The rest of the boys didn't even breathe. Nick scoffed, his hands still around Harry.

 

'You want to call the coppers on me just because I have my arms wrapped around my best friend hmm?' Louis' clear blue eyes remained fixed on Nick.

 

'No because you stole my wallet,' he told him in a cold voice.

 

'I did no such thing!' Nick exclaimed in protest. Louis smirked.

 

'Oh but you will though unless you release him. Now! The police will believe me not some piece of low life shit like you.' Louis heard gasps around him and watched Nick's eyes grow wide.

 

'You are a manipulating son of a bitch,' Nick hissed at him. Louis raised a shoulder and let it fall, the movement almost elegant.

 

'I've been called much worse and for far less,' Louis told him calmly even though underneath the surface there was a raging battle going on. He felt his muscles all tense and his veins were pulled taught like guitar stings. Still, Harry stayed between the asshole's legs not daring to look up. Nick made to get up, pushing Harry off of him a little too roughly who staggered forward straight into Liam's arms who righted him. Louis remained calm waiting for Nick to make one false move but Niall and Zayn were quick to intervene and slam Nick back down on the stool.

 

'You wouldn't want to do anything stupid,' Zayn hissed at him but Nick kept his furious eyes on Louis. On the other hand, Louis was looking intently at Harry who looked frightened and lost.

 

'Can we talk now?' Louis asked him, his voice still emotionless. 'Or are we not done with the drama yet?' Harry did not move or raise his head to look at Louis. Liam felt him shake a little and knew he was afraid of Louis. Liam looked at Louis.

 

'Maybe you should talk to him tomorrow?' he suggested his voice subdued because if he was to be honest, Louis' attitude sent shivers down his own spine. He radiated dominance and control and a whole lot of power. Louis slowly looked at Liam.

 

'If I wanted counselling, I would've called my lawyer,' he told him icily. 'Harry!' he said, his voice deadly.

 

'Can't you see he doesn't want to go with you?' Nick yelled. 'He's fucking scared shitless of you.'

 

'Take a hike dickhead,' Louis told him, his eyes still on Harry.

 

'Okay okay guys please,' Niall interfered. Louis gives him a side way glance.

 

'And you are?' he asked. Niall looked at him pointedly.

 

'Taking Harry to the restrooms because he's not looking too well,' Niall snapped at him and Louis had to admit he was a little surprised by the boys' balls. He liked this one best. Louis said nothing but watched as Niall gently led Harry to the restrooms. When they were gone, Louis returned his gaze on a furious Nick.

 

'You know he'll never want you right?' Louis told him in a flat voice. Nick's eyes raged with anger.

 

'Just as I know you will never want him,' Nick spat at him. Louis smiled, a small self assured smile.

 

'Oh but I do want him,' Louis stated matter of factly.

 

'You are only using him until you get what you want out of him,' Nick growled. Again Louis smiled but this time it was a victorious smile.

 

'I see he didn't tell you. Well, if that were the case, that I was only using him for one thing only as you say that I am, then I guess I wouldn't be here right now would I, since I got what I wanted already.' Liam and Zayn gasped loudly at this revelation. Louis felt a wave of satisfaction run through him as he saw Nick's face register what he had just told him, the pain in his eyes, the disappointment and the loss. 'You need to give this crush up Nicholas. Harry will never ever belong to you. I am where he wants to be and I am what he wants so if you are going to continue with this school girl crush you have on him, you might as well do it from afar. Don't ever let me catch you with your filthy hands on him ever again.' Before Nick could reply, Niall and Harry returned, Harry looking somewhat a little revived though still swaying a little.

 

'Ready to go?' Louis asked him. Harry gave him a small nod, still not meeting his gaze. Zayn looked at Louis.

 

'Maybe we should just taking him home. He doesn't look too well.' Louis internally rolled his eyes. Harry's friends were fucking annoying, except the Irish one.

 

'I am taking him home. My home. Its where he belongs,' Louis told him curtly then looked at Harry. 'Lets go.' Before he turned to go, Niall grabbed his arm just above the elbow and Louis felt the urge to smack his hand away. Still, he looked at him waiting for what he had to say. Niall leaned in a little closer to him.

 

'Don't hurt him,' he told him, his voice steady. 'Harry is sensitive and good. He's a good kid and he's my best mate so if you hurt him you will have to deal with me. I don't give a fuck how rich and powerful you are, when it comes to Harry, I will defend him.' Louis looked at him with amusement in his eyes and a sense of respect that someone was willing to stand up for Harry even against him. Louis tapped his shoulder.

 

'You have spunk kid. I could use someone like you on my team.' Louis put his hand inside his breast pocket of his jacket and produced a business card. 'If you want to try out for a job with my company, call my secretary and set up an interview. I admire someone with balls.' He gave Niall a wink then looked at Harry. 'Lets go,' he told him and began walking towards the door, while Harry trailed after him, saying goodbye to his friends. When Harry got outside, he found Louis waiting for him by the open door of the car.

 

'Get in the God damn car,' Louis hissed through his teeth. Harry silently walked past him and slid into the backseat. Harry's heart was beating furiously in his chest and what was making it worse was that he still felt whoozy from all the drinking even though he had thrown up when he had gone to the restroom with Niall and Niall had wet his face and got him a tonic to settle his stomach.

 

Louis got in the car beside him but didn't look at him or say anything. Angus put the car in motion and the drive to Louis house was a silent one. Harry could tell that Louis was angry but he couldn't exactly understand why. When they got to the house, Louis dismissed Angus for the night and he walked inside, Harry following closely. Louis went straight into the kitchen where Leonard and Mrs. Davis where waiting for him.

 

'Get out! Both of you, leave. Now!' Louis roared his voice echoing around the huge kitchen. Harry swallowed hard as he watched Mrs.Davis and Leonard hurry off, their scared faces giving him pitying looks.

 

'Sit the fuck down!' Louis yelled and Harry was quick to slide on to a stool. 'Did you eat?' Louis asked him.

 

'No,' Harry said quietly not daring to look at Louis.

 

'How very fucking mature of you! You go out drinking on an empty stomach? No wonder you're hammered.' Louis turned his back on Harry and opened the fridge, taking out a plate of food that Mrs. Davis had prepared for him. He popped the plate into the microwave and timed it for five minutes. When the bell dinged indicating the food was ready,Louis took out the plate and placed it in front of Harry.

 

'Eat,' he ordered. 'You have that fucking photo shoot tomorrow with Marc and I need you sober. I don't want you fucking up this chance for yourself.' Louis was trying to contain his anger but he couldn't. He watched as Harry placed a forkful of food into his mouth and chewed slowly.

 

'What the fuck was that stunt you pulled back there ha Harry?' Louis yelled at him, making Harry jump a little. Harry looked up at him with big doe eyes, slightly glazed and looking innocent.

 

'Don't you fucking dare look innocent! Don't you even fucking dare pull that shit on me Harry I warn you,' Louis roared and immediately Harry looked down and away from him. He bit his lower lip and said nothing. What could he say? He didn't even know if there was anything to say to Louis at this point.

 

'What were you thinking flirting with that fucking piece of shit like that? Right in my face? Embarrassing me like that! What would you have done if I hadn't come when I did huh? Would you have let him touch you or maybe fuck you? Are you that fucking easy? You must be since you have been fucking throwing yourself at me from day one!' Harry felt the need to cry at Louis' harsh words. He wasn't easy! That hurt!

 

'N-no I....' he began but Louis cut him off.

 

'Don't you fucking try to weasel your way out of it by lying! I. Saw. You. He had his stinking hands all over you and you were there between his god damn legs like you belonged there! What the fuck is wrong with you?' The urgent need to cry was ever growing in Harry. He kept his head down.

 

'You...you don't want me,' he said very softly.

 

'Excuse me?' Louis bellowed.

 

'You....you don't...'

 

'Don't fucking repeat it Harry! Why do you always assume shit? How did you even come to this conclusion? Did that piece of trash put this in your head?' Louis asked him angrily. Harry shook his head slightly.

 

'I...I saw the article in the Sun. W-what you said about...me....us,' Harry told him. Louis huffed and looked at the ceiling in frustration.

 

'That's to keep you fucking private and out of the media Harry! I am fucking looking out for you. I know those hungry sharks especially if Dan fucking Wootan gets his claws in you what they will do to you.' Louis slammed his hand down hard on the counter making Harry jump. 'You were so fucking quick to let yourself be touched by someone else.' Harry swallowed hard.

 

'I'm s-sorry,' he whispered.

 

'You fucking should be! Did I not tell you that you're mine?' Louis growled out. Harry raised his head and looked at him, his eyes glistening.

 

'Am I?' he asked him in a shaky voice. Louis ran a hand through his hair more frustrated than ever.

 

'Back to this again are we? I think I told you that.....'

 

'I know,' Harry stopped him. 'You don't date. Don't commit yourself. Don't do relationships. So I'm yours how exactly? Like property?' Louis slammed his hand down on the counter again.

 

'Don't fucking push it Harry. Fuck! Why do you have to complicate things? Can't you just be mine without strings attached and without fucking drama? I am not keeping you prisoner here. This is no fucking Stockholm Syndrome. You can leave anytime you want.' Louis paused and took in a deep breath and he told him a little more calmly : 'I want you to stay. I want us to have fun together but if you want more from me, then fucking leave now because I haven't got anymore to offer you and this will be the last time I will say this Harry. I mean it.' Harry didn't look back up at Louis. He slid off the stool and walked over to him and stood before him.

 

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly. 'I'm sorry for flirting with Nick.' He stopped and looked into Louis eyes as his fingers found Louis' belt and quickly undid it, pulling it free out of the loops. He held it in his hand and offered it to Louis. 'You can punish me as you see it fit,' he told him in a husky voice and Louis nearly passed out at his words. He felt all his anger drain away and his heart started hammering hard in his chest. Did Harry want him to smack him with the belt? How did Harry even know about this? Yeah that would be fit. That would be so fit to beat the living shit out of him for being a prick and God Louis wanted to do it. His fingers ached to be wrapped around that piece of leather and smack him till he begged......No! He took the belt from Harry's hand.

 

'No Harry,' he told him quietly. 'I won't beat you but you will be punished for being a teaser. You like to tease? Well two can play that game. Let's go upstairs.' Louis turned and walked out of the kitchen with Harry following behind. Once they were in the guest bedroom that had been given to Harry the night of the party, Louis sat down in the armchair and looked up at Harry who stood by the bed waiting for directions.

 

'You are making a habit of getting shit faced and I cannot tolerate that. Today you embarrassed me in front of your friends. You know that right?' Harry fidgeted with his fingers.

 

'Yes Sir,' he said softly.

 

'Good,' Louis told him. 'Now I want you to undressed, get on the bed and touch yourself.' Harry's head snapped up quickly and he locked eyes with Louis.

 

'W-what?' he asked him horrified. Was Louis seriously asking him to get naked and....and do that? In front of him? Harry felt a blush start from the tip of his toes right up to his face. Louis could see his embarrassment and discomfort. Good. Two can play at this game.

 

'Touch yourself,' Louis ordered. 'While I watch you. Let me see what you do when you're alone Harry.' Harry fidgeted with his fingers as he stood before Louis. He had never done anything of this sort. It was embarrassing. Louis was asking for a very intimate thing, a private thing. Louis watched the conflict on his face. He was enjoying this and the fact that Harry was timid made it even more of a turn on. Harry sighed and slowly pulled off his blazer and tee shirt. He toed off his boots and pulled off his socks. He was nervous. This wasn't like stripping. Stripping was putting on a show but this? Harry gulped and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down his long legs and kicking them off. He stood in just his boxers and gave Louis a hopeful look that maybe he would change his mind about this but Louis sat in the chair, one leg crossed over the other, cocked an eyebrow at him and patiently waited for him to get started. With a little bit of courage, Harry pulled off his boxers.

 

He got on the bed and relaxed as much as he could considering the room was spinning a little and he was naked in front of Louis and about to touch himself for him. He took in a deep breath to steady his nerves and wrapped his fist around his dick and started pumping.

 

'Slowly,' Louis told him. 'I want to enjoy the show and whatever you do, do not come!' Harry took in another deep breath, exhaling slowly and began stroking himself slowly till he was fully hard. He closed his eyes and threw his head back on the pillow, biting hard on his lower lip. He began thrusting his hips up into his fist, letting out little soft moans. He squeezed the base of his dick, arching his back off the bed and letting out a slightly louder moan.

 

'God Louis...Louis,' he moaned out as he pleased himself and Louis nearly died on the spot, hearing his name fall out of Harry's lips. So he thought about him when he touched himself!

 

Louis sat transfixed staring at the beautiful boy before him, stroking himself, the way he was moving his hips bucking up into his tightly closed fist. Louis felt his own dick grow hard and full. He leaned over towards the bedside table and opened it, producing a bottle of lube which he threw next to Harry.

 

'Open yourself up,' Louis ordered and Harry's movements stopped abruptly, his eyes opened and he looked at Louis. God, did Louis really want to see him fuck himself? From the look on his face, Harry knew that he did. Harry gulped, took the lube and poured some on his fingers. He planted his feet on the bed, spreading his thighs giving Louis a good view. His middle finger made its way down to his hole and very gently he eased the tip inside. He wasn't very sore and his finger slipped in easily. He closed his eyes again and sighed pushing in his finger all the way to the knuckle.

 

'Ahhhh Louis,' he moaned and Louis felt it go straight to his dick which was now impossibly hard. Harry began thrusting his finger in and out of his hole while with his other hand he pumped his dick to the same rhythm.

 

'Add another,' Louis ordered and Harry brought his index finger next to his hole pushing it in next to the other. He made a whining noise low in his throat.

 

'Does it hurt?' Louis asked him.

 

'N-no,' Harry gasped out as he began fucking himself with two fingers and pumping his dick at the same time. His body was shaking and he could feel the beginning of his orgasm. While Louis watched Harry fuck himself he took off his shirt and shoes.

 

'I-I'm c-close L-Louis I- I please,' Harry begged frantically.

 

'Okay stop,' Louis told him and Harry pulled his fingers out and let go of his still very hard dick. He was panting heavily, his mind distorted from the alcohol and the sensations he had given his body only to be told to stop before his release. He needed more. He needed to come. Louis got naked and climbed on top of him and Harry could've cried from the relief of feeling him, his skin warm over his, of having him close once again. Harry melted beneath him. Louis gently removed the hair out of his face.

 

'You did so well,' Louis praised him. 'But you will not pull this shit on me ever again you hear?' Harry looked into his blue eyes.

 

'I won't. I'm so sorry. I-I.....'

 

'Shh shh its okay,' Louis reassured him when he saw Harry's lower lip tremble and his eyes glisten. He leaned down and captured Harry's lips in a slow, languid kiss, easing his tongue into Harry's willing mouth and kissing him gently. Harry wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer if that were possible, wrapping his long legs around Louis' waist. Louis pulled back from the kiss.

 

'Can I make love to you?' he asked him and Harry nodded.

 

'Please,' Harry whined.

 

Louis kissed him again while with his other hand he placed his dick at Harry's hole and began pushing inside him ever so gently. Harry gasped in his mouth.

 

'Does it hurt?' Louis asked him, his lips touching his.

 

'No,' Harry whispered. 'Please Louis I need to come.' Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'You will,' he told him and eased himself inside Harry. Harry could feel the burn and stretch again but it was better than yesterday. Louis gave him time to adjust then began to roll his hips, pulling out and pushing back in slowly and gently, the drag of skin on skin feeling heavenly to both. Harry dug his heels into Louis bum and pulled him in closer. Louis thrust in long and deep, taking his time kissing Harry and swallowing all his moans and sinful whines. He took his time watching Harry's face, the way his eyes were closed and the way he scrunched them up tightly with every push and pull from Louis, his mouth partly open letting out soft whines and whimpers which drove Louis on to go deeper inside of him, his short blunt fingernails digging into his back, scratching, clawing, his legs tightening around him dragging him even deeper inside of him. Louis loved the way Harry gave himself over to him so completely.

 

This kind of sex drove Louis crazy. He had never done it like this before and he loved it. He loved moving slowly inside Harry without a condom, feeling his wet velvet walls, the warm heat that engulfed him and the tightness of Harry especially when he clenched down around him almost making his dick hurt. Nobody had ever pulled out an orgasm out of him but Harry pulled them out nice and sweet and he milked him till the last drop of cum spurted out of him, filling him up. And Louis lets him. Lets him take his orgasms out of him.

 

Louis grabbed Harry from the back of his thigh and raised his leg higher around his waist as he thrust into him a little harder and Harry arched his back off the mattress and whined loudly.

 

'Ahhh Lou.....please....don't stop....oh God,' he whimpered as he scratched at Louis back trying to hold on to him and Louis knew he had hit his prostate. He picked up a different pace thrusting inside him shallow and quick, his jabs hitting his prostate dead on relentlessly making Harry actually cry. He saw his tears fall out of his eyes as he mumbled out words and long drawn moans. Louis leaned down and kissed his face tasting his salty tears on his cheeks.

 

'It's okay baby I got you,' Louis whispered against Harry's lips as he continued his assault on his prostate. Harry was gasping and begging Louis, for what he didn't know but he kept repeating please please please.

 

'What do you want?' Louis asked him breathlessly because he was overexerting himself snapping his hips in short shallow thrusts to keep hitting Harry's prostate. 'Tell me love,' Louis coaxed him seeing what a mess Harry was.

 

'I need to...please can I? Can I come?' Harry gasped out in frustration. Louis had forgotten that he had told him not to come and he felt his heart go out to him having held out this long without coming. Louis kissed him on his cheeks and jaw and neck, anywhere he could reach.

 

'Can you come untouched for me?' Louis couldn't help his dominant side. He just couldn't and he wanted to dominate Harry even his dick if possible.

 

'Y-yeah,' Harry panted. 'I-I t-think I c-can.' Louis continued thrusting in and out of him, speeding up his pace. He supported his weight on his forearms knowing that the position of his body and his movements would put friction on Harry's dick that was trapped between them. His own orgasm was building up. He could feel it coming on like a tidal wave, his spine tingling and his lower abdomen pulling. He felt Harry's legs tremble and his hold on him getting tighter. He knew Harry was close. A few more thrusts and he felt Harry's body go rigid, his hips bucking up as he came hard between them.

 

'LouisLouisLouisLouisLouis,' he moaned out as his body spasamed and trembled with the force of his orgasm. He clenched down tightly around Louis' dick and that was what did it for Louis. Harry's tight clenching pulled out Louis' orgasm and he spurted hotly into him.

 

'Jesus fucking holy shit Harry oh fuck fuck,' he groaned out as he kept coming inside Harry, his own body trembling and shaking. Louis remained inside Harry until his cock went soft, all the while kissing the boy beneath him who was lost somewhere due to the force of his orgasm. Louis gently pulled out of Harry and lay down next to him just as Harry opened his eyes and turned on his side to look at Louis who was still breathing a little hard. Harry scooted over, wanting to still feel Louis. It scared him how much he craved his touch. Louis looked at him and put an arm around him pulling him into his chest.

 

'You were fucking amazing,' Louis whispered into the dark quiet room.

 

'So were you,' Harry told him softly, his voice sounding as fucked out as he was. There was a moment of silence. 'I'm sorry Louis,' Harry whispered. 'For what I did.' Louis pulled him tighter to him and placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'I know you are. Just....' Louis paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'Just don't do it again. I didn't like the feeling it gave me. You're mine.'

 

'Yours,' Harry agreed. 'Without strings attached.' Louis smiled even though Harry couldn't see him.

 

'Sleep,' Louis told him. 'We have to be up early for Marc's shoot. He's a bossy son of a bitch and likes things done his way.' Harry cuddled closer to Louis.

 

'Stay with me,' he told him as he yawned loudly, his eyes drooping heavily with sleep. Louis said nothing just gently ran his hand up and down Harry's arm, lulling him to sleep. When he was sure Harry was asleep, he very gently removed himself and went to his own bedroom. There was no way he was going to have a repeat what happened in Paris.

 

X

 

By 7:30 am Louis and Harry had arrived at Trafalgar Square. Part of it was closed off to the public and it was there that Louis headed towards with Harry tagging in tow.

 

'Can you try not to limp?' Louis asked him with a smile on his face. Harry grinned at him.

 

'Your fault!' he stated as his cheeks turing a little pink.

 

'Marc is going to have a field day if he sees you walking like that. He will bust my balls about it,' Louis complained. Harry walked a little closer to him.

 

'Let him know you own me,' Harry whispered and Louis gave him a surprised look.

 

'Can you not talk to me like that in that tone of voice at fucking 7:30 on a bloody Tuesday morning? Not a good idea to give me a boner right now.'

 

'We can go back home,' Harry suggested. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'As much as I'd love to, I have to get to my office and do my job.' Harry licked his lips.

 

'Hmm that desk of yours....'

 

'Harry shut the fuck up,' Louis snapped at him playfully making Harry laugh out loud.

 

'Sorry,' he apologized. 'But maybe I can drop by after I'm done here?' Harry suggested. He was feeling happy and a little bit bold. He woke up alone in his bed this morning and he dreaded another brushoff from Louis but this morning Louis had greeted him with a long passionate kiss when they met on the landing and explained that he'd rather sleep alone and that Harry shouldn't take it personally or as if Louis didn't want him. Harry had nodded and followed him downstairs and together they had breakfast and left to come and meet Marc.

 

'Good idea,' Louis told him. 'I might use a distraction. I have too many fucking meetings this morning and afternoon. Aren't you going to Uni after you're done with the shoot?' Louis asked him. Harry sighed.

 

'I could do with a day off. Besides, I'd rather come see you....'

 

'Harry,' Louis told him in his voice stern. 'What did I tell you about your education? You won't graduate by taking days off. You had yesterday off for your birthday. Not a good idea to miss two days in a row.' Harry knew that Louis was right. He had exams at the end of February and he couldn't fall back now. Louis saw the scowl on his face. 'Look, finish the shoot and go to Uni. I'll probably be in the office a little late so maybe you can come by after you finish your lectures. Then I'll take you to dinner. How does that sound?' Harry gave him his full dimpled smile.

 

'I like that. Nothing too fancy okay.' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'You want me to take you to KFC?' he asked him playfully. Harry giggled.

 

'Sounds good. Anywhere is good with you.' They stopped talking and just looked at each other and Louis liked this. He liked this feeling he was getting. This feeling of having somebody......

 

'You're fucking late!' a voice disturbed their moment and Louis and Harry both turned to see Marc striding towards them.

 

'So sue me,' Louis told him. Marc smirked at him.

 

'Full of shit as always. You brought my photographer in late,' Marc told him sulking then he turned to Harry with a big smile on his face. 'Darling its so nice to see you again and dare I say you look outrageously handsome in my shirt,' Marc told him as he fingered the shirt Harry was wearing, a cream shirt with various motorbikes on it under his black blazer. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Will you stop flattering yourself? And hands off the workers please unless you want him to file a sexual harassment complaint?' Louis asked quirking an eyebrow at Marc.

 

'Don't you have a job to get back to or some meeting?'

 

'I will as soon as I see that Harry is settled,' Louis told him. Marc turned to Harry.

 

'Harry darling you can go over there where Alejandro is and he will give you the details,' Marc told him sweetly. Harry nodded and turned to Louis.

 

'I'll see you later then?' Harry asked him a little timidly. Louis desperately wanted to touch his cheek and kiss him on the forehead but he couldn't. Not out here in the open.

 

'Yes. Do you need anything? Will you be alright?' Louis asked him and Marc made a snorting sound.

 

'He's not going to kindergarten you know and I will take very good care of him in your absence.'

 

'Fuck off Marc,' Louis told him. Harry giggled.

 

'I'm good,' he told Louis. 'I will be fine.' Louis nodded at him.

 

'Okay. Have a good day then.' Harry walked away from them towards where a man was set up with various photographic equipment. Both Louis and Marc looked at him as he walked away.

 

'Is he limping?' Marc asked Louis, trying to hide a smile.

 

'Drop it.' Marc laughed.

 

'Oh my God. You had him didn't you? You took his virginity! Oh my God how was it? Were you sweet and gentle? You didn't go caveman on him did you?' Louis huffed out a breath.

 

'Do you think I'm gonna stand here in the middle of Trafalgar fucking Square and discuss my sexual activities with you?' Louis asked him. Marc pouted.

 

'I was hoping you would. I mean look at that ass....'

 

'Marc! Shut the fuck up,' Louis snapped at him. 'Instead why don't you use that filthy mouth of yours to tell me why the fuck Alejandro is still here? I thought you sent him packing back to Cuba.' Marc sighed in annoyance.

 

'First of all he's from Columbia. I already told you that. Second of all, he's here to assist Harry. Harry has no experience in this field of work and I haven't seen any of his work either and I really can't go into this blindly Lou. Alejandro will coach him on how to direct the models, to tell them what he wants from them so we can get the best pictures. Also, I want Alejandro to take back up photos and before you protest and threaten me, its only in case of emergencies. If Harry's pictures don't turn out good, at least I will have back ups but if Harry's pictures are good, they will be the ones published like I promised you. Plus, to have convinced Alejandro to stay, it cost me a fucking blow job! A blow job which you should have given me by the way.' Louis snorted.

 

'In your fucking wildest dreams,' he told him. 'How long do you think you will keep Harry?' Marc tapped a manicured finger against his bottom lip.

 

'Well I have four locations to shoot. Here, Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square and Covent Garden. If it all runs smoothly and the weather holds we should be done in maybe 3 hours.' Louis looked at his watch.

 

'Good. He needs to get to Uni so don't make him late,' Louis told him as he began walking towards the car. 'Also, I didn't tell him about him walking for you so ask him. It will make his day.' Marc clapped his hands happily.

 

'I can be very persuasive.' Louis threw him a death glare.

 

'Hands off him, I'm warning you and keep your flirting to a minimum of zero!' Marc flapped a hand at him.

 

'Yeah yeah whatever.'

 

x

 

Louis was having a coffee break when Harry's message came in. He swiped his phone and read it.

 

[From Harry]

Just finished photo shoot now. It was amazing. And Marc wants me to model for him! I'm so excited. I'll tell you about it later. Heading to Uni. Missed only one lecture ;)

 

Louis smiled at the cute message and he could feel Harry's excitement just from his written message. He tapped a quick reply.

 

[From Louis]

Good. Looking forward to hearing all about it. See you later.

 

The day went by excruciatingly slow for both of them but finally Harry was out for the day. He took out his phone and looked at the time. Quarter to five. He quickly sent Louis a text to let him know he was on the way to his office. Harry felt so happy he was kinda scared because too many good things were happening to him and he wasn't the type of person that good things happened to, so he was a little afraid to be too happy. Still, he couldn't contain his happiness when he got off on Louis' floor and the smiley receptionist knew him right away.

 

'Mr. Styles welcome,' she greeted him and Harry gave her his blinding dimpled smile. 'Please go right on through. He's waiting for you.' Harry thanked her and tried his best not to skip down the hallway. He tapped on Louis' door and pushed it open, peeking inside. Louis was sitting at his desk talking on the phone but he motioned for Harry to come in, which Harry did. He left his bag by the door and walked straight to Louis' desk and sat on the desk right in front of Louis, trapping Louis between his long legs. Louis smiled up at him and ran a hand up his thigh while still talking on the phone. Harry leaned back on his hands and closed his eyes loving the feeling of Louis touching him. When Louis hung up, he smiled at Harry.

 

'Hi,' he told him. Harry leaned over and placed his lips close to Louis'.

 

'Hi yourself. I missed you,' he told him in his deep voice. Louis stood up and moved in closer to Harry. Harry spread his legs a little farther to accommodate Louis between his legs. He loved having him between his legs.

 

'So you're finally on my desk,' Louis told him playfully, curling one of his long curls around his finger.

 

'I am,' Harry agreed looking into Louis' eyes, which he noticed had gone a little dark. Louis leaned in and kissed him, slowly at first but when Harry placed his feet behind Louis' knees and pulled him closer till their clothed semi hard dicks brushed, the kiss became hungrier. Louis pushed his tongue into Harry's mouth, gripping his waist and digging his fingers in. Louis gently rolled his hips causing friction on their dicks and Harry whined out loud. Louis pulled back.

 

'Quiet,' he told him. 'We don't want anyone hearing you do we?' Harry shook his head and Louis attacked his lips again. They built up a rhythm, rutting against each other and kissing sloppily until Louis pulled back panting a little.

 

'As much as I want you, I can't fuck you on my desk Harry, not with all my employees out there.' Harry made a small whining noise of protest in the back of his throat, looking up at Louis through his lashes. Louis stroked his cheek with the back of his hand.

 

'I know,' Harry said pouting a little. He pushed Louis back till he flopped back down in his chair. Harry slid off the desk and got down on his knees between Louis' legs. 'But I am going to give you head so you are the one who should be quiet.' Before Louis could protest, Harry unbuckled his belt and unzipped him in record time. He pulled out his dick and licked at his tip. Louis gripped the arms of his chair.

 

'Jesus fucking Christ,' he hissed. Harry looked up at him, his lips inches away from the head.

 

'Quiet,' he teased using Louis' own word. He took Louis down in one mouthful making Louis buck up harshly off his chair and hit the back of Harry's throat but Harry didn't seem to be bothered. He worked Louis' dick like a pro, bobbing his head and sucking hard, twirling his tongue round the tip and dipping it into the slit all the while pumping the rest with his fist. Louis was seeing stars! Louis tried to get Harry off because he could hear voices in the corridor outside his door but Harry gripped his thighs tightly keeping him in place and kept working his mouth on Louis' dick. Louis closed his eyes tightly shut and bucked up into Harry's mouth again as he chased his orgasm. Finally he felt it. It was happening. He couldn't even tell Harry that he was close, he just exploded into his mouth, biting down hard on his lower lip to stop himself from screaming out loud. When Harry pulled off, Louis looked down at him adoringly and pulled him onto his lap.

 

'God that was amazing but what if somebody had walked in Harry?' Louis asked him and Harry shrugged.

 

'But they didn't and spontaneous heads are the best ones. Admit it.' Louis had to laugh at his cheekiness. He placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

 

'I agree,' he told him. 'Now let me finish my last few phone calls and we can go for dinner. Hungry?'

 

'Starving,' Harry told him as he plopped down on Louis' leather couch.

 

'Anywhere in particular you want to go?' Louis asked him. Harry shook his head.

 

'Nah just somewhere quiet. I have a lot to tell you.'

 

x

 

At ten thirty that evening, Louis and Harry walked out of the restaurant into the cold London night. They had a nice dinner with a bottle of wine and some lovely dessert while Harry talked about his photo shoot and how Alejandro had coached him through it all. And he was ever so excited that Marc wanted him to walk for him for his next men's collection and Louis had been blown away that Harry had asked him if he minded at all if he would try out for Marc. Louis had been so moved that Harry had even thought about asking him that he promised Harry that once his exams where over and he was out on his Easter break, they would fly to L.A so he could try out for Marc and see if he liked it. Harry nearly choked him to death by hugging him too tightly.

 

Now they stood outside as they waited for Angus to pick them up. He wasn't usually late but he had informed Louis that there had been an accident and there was a traffic build up. Harry brushed Louis' hand with his own. He knew he couldn't show much PDA when they were outside for fear of being papped.

 

'Thank you for everything,' Harry told him, his voice thick with emotion. Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'I should be thanking you,' he told him and watched Harry furrow his brows in confusion.

 

'For what?' Harry asked him. Louis kept looking at him for a moment in silence then he sighed.

 

'You have no idea what you are doing to me Harry. All these changes you are bringing about in my life,' Louis told him.

 

'Is that a bad thing?' Harry asked him innocently and Louis gently squeezed his hand.

 

'No Harry not bad ones but I'm not ready. I will never be ready for this, whatever this is. There is...' he stopped and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Harry noticed the sadness on Louis' face. 'There is much you don't know about me Harry.' Harry played with Louis' fingers discreetly.

 

'Then tell me Louis. Let me in.' Louis shook his head.

 

'If I do, I will never see you again.' Before Harry could say anything, Angus pulled up and Louis opened the door for him, allowing Harry to go in before him. Once he was settled next to him, he looked at Harry.

 

'Where to?' Louis asked him.

 

'Home,' Harry replied and Louis nodded.

 

'Angus, Edgware Road ple......'

 

'Your home,' Harry interrupted him, giving him a sweet smile. Louis smiled back at him.

 

'Take us home then Angus,' Louis told him as he wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder and pulled him closer.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 10.....................


	10. Too Much, Too Little, Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone reading and a bigger thank you for the support. I am grateful.  
> All the love  
> M.

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late.

 

Harry lay wrapped up in Louis' arms in the bed of the guestroom at Louis' home. It was the first night that Louis had actually slept with him all through the night and not left Harry to wake up to an empty bed. In fact, Harry had been surprised to wake up to find Louis spooning him tightly as he slept soundly, breathing heavily into the back of his neck and Harry had smiled to himself and snuggled closer into Louis' chest. For the past week, Harry had been mostly staying at Louis' house because Louis had insisted that he should go over there. He had also insisted that Angus picked him up from Uni and took him straight to his house, which if he were to be honest, Harry didn't mind at all. He loved going to Louis' house because it was never empty, unlike his own flat. Niall was mostly staying over at Emily's now so Harry was always alone. Here at Louis' house, he always found Mrs. Davis in the kitchen and he would sit at the breakfast bar doing his homework and revising while talking to her as she made him a snack and fussed over him, asking how his day had been and how his studies were going.

 

Harry liked her. She reminded him of his mum, not in looks or age but in her maternal attitude towards him and Harry basked in it. He had been alone for the past four years since his father had kicked him out after his mum had passed away. He had always lived alone and then with Niall when he moved to London. So he liked to spend time with Judy while waiting for Louis to come home from the office. Sometimes Leonard joined them and they would talk and drink tea. Harry loved the feeling of family, of belonging but he didn't dare make it too permanent in his heart. With Louis, he never knew where he was exactly but deep down, Harry wanted this. Wanted to belong.

 

Today was Sunday morning and they lay together in the bed under the thick quilt. It was raining heavily and Harry was cuddled into Louis, his head on his chest, their legs entwined together, listening to the drumming of the rain outside. It was peaceful.

 

'Do you really have to go?' Harry asked him again, pouting. Louis looked down at him and gave him a small smile.

 

'Yes Harry I really have to go. I need to visit my company in Singapore. It will only be for four days and I will call you every chance I get alright.' Harry pouted harder as he traced his index finger over Louis' "It Is What It Is" tattoo.

 

'Four days without you is too long,' Harry mumbled into Louis' chest like a little child and Louis chuckled.

 

'You have been without me for twenty years. What's four days?' Harry looked up at him, a scowl visible on his sleepy face.

 

'That's not fair. I didn't know you then but I know you now,' he protested. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Don't be a drama queen! I'll be back before you know it. If you didn't have exams coming up I would've taken you with me but you need to study. And besides, I think Judy would miss you too much if you were to come with me. I think she secretly loves you more than she loves me!' Harry playfully slapped his chest.

 

'You're her boss of course she loves you!'

 

'Aha that's why she loves me because I'm her boss and I pay her. I've seen her with you. She's different with you. Its like you're the son she's never had. She fusses over you like a mother hen and I know she makes you cookies and tea when you come over after your lectures,' Louis told him and Harry smiled fondly into his warm skin.

 

'I like her too. I like talking with her and she teaches me a lot about cooking.' Louis cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

'You cook?' Harry made a sound of disbelief in his throat.

 

'Of course I cook!' he said sounding almost as if he was offended by the mere thought that Louis even entertained the idea that he couldn't cook. Louis smiled lazily and ran his hand up and down Harry's arm.

 

'Then you must show me your skills sometime.' Harry smiled and tightened his arm around Louis' waist.

 

'I will. For sure. I will blow you away with my culinary skills,' Harry told him.

 

'Hmm should Gordon Ramsey be worried?' Louis asked him playfully and Harry playfully slapped him again.

 

'I'm not THAT good!' Louis chuckled.

 

'I'm pretty sure you will give Gordon a run for his money,' Louis told him as he kissed the top of his head again and made a move to get up but Harry held him down.

 

'Where are you going?' he whined holding him tight.

 

'Harry, I leave in three hours. I have things to do before then,' Louis told him patiently. He secretly loved needy and clingy Harry.

 

'Just ten more minutes. Please? Its your plane. You can delay yourself,' he told him with a wicked gleam in his eyes and how could Louis resist? With one swift move, he had Harry pinned under him, their naked bodies flush against each other. Louis gently rolled his hips over Harry.

 

'Hmm someone is excited this morning,' Louis teased and he languidly kissed Harry, soft and slow all the while rolling his hips over Harry's hard on. Harry whined in his mouth, pulling him closer.

 

'Please Louis,' he begged against his lips. 'I need you.' Louis kissed him harder, his own dick now fully hard. He placed himself at Harry's entrance and ever so slowly he pushed in. Harry hissed at the feeling of Louis' dick breaching his ring of muscle. Louis didn't use any lube though Harry was sure there was some left over from last night in his ass because Louis slipped in without difficulty. Louis loved the tight feeling of Harry around him and when Harry didn't protest, he pushed in further till he was balls deep inside Harry, surrounded by his tightness and warmth. Louis took his time, knowing this would have to last for the upcoming four days. In all honesty, he had told Harry that them being four days apart wasn't that much of a big deal but now he was wondering how HE would fare four days away from this angel beneath him.

 

He began moving slowly in and out of Harry while Harry squirmed beneath him, moaning and bucking his hips up to meet his thrusts and when Louis hit his prostate, Harry let out a high pitched contented whine that made Louis melt inside of him. It was peaceful. The room was a little dark due to the gray weather outside and the drumming of the rain was like music. They were warm under the quilt, Louis warmer from being inside Harry. Harry himself felt as if he was a naked flame, his skin burning up. Louis could feel that Harry was already close. He could tell from the tightening of his legs around his waist and the way his fingers dug into his lower back, the increasing, frantic movements of his hips bucking up into Louis, taking him further in.

 

'Close love?' Louis asked him as he placed kisses down his neck, sucking and biting gently.

 

'Hmm,' was the only reply he got from Harry and Louis smiled against the damp skin of his neck as he sucked on the soft skin, making Harry arch his back off the mattress. Louis reached down between them and took Harry's dick in his hand, stroking him gently, pulling and tugging at his hard dick and Harry whimpered as his body began to tremble. It took a few more thrusts inside him and tugs on his dick and Harry was spurting hot cum between them, his breathing shallow and fast coming from his parted lips. Louis kissed him, capturing his gasps as he spilled inside of him, his body tensing up as his orgasm rocked him to the core. He never experienced such orgasms before. He had had them of course but nothing of this magnitude. He blamed it on The Harry Effect!

 

Louis continued to move slowly inside Harry till they both rode out their orgasms then ever so gently, Louis pulled out but remained on top of Harry. He looked down at the fucked out blissful face of Harry and Louis couldn't help the feeling inside his chest, warm and flowing.

 

'You okay?' Louis asked him as he placed a kiss on his cheek.

 

'Hmm never better,' Harry moaned out contentedly, his eyes closed.

 

'I'm glad,' Louis told him and slowly rolled off of him. He got out of bed and reached down for his boxers. 'Okay I'm going to my room for a shower. I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast okay.' Harry hummed but didn't open his eyes. Louis leaned down and kissed his lips. 'Come on up you go. Don't be long.' Harry smiled and opened his eyes.

 

'You are bossy you know that?'

 

'Yes I know that. Now get up and go shower. You smell like sex,' Louis teased him.

 

'And you love it,' Harry teased back. Louis walked towards the door chuckling to himself. 'Louis?' Harry called softly and Louis turned to look at him.

 

'Yes?'

 

'Why don't we ever go to your room?' Harry asked him curiously. Louis wasn't expecting that. Well, he kinda had been expecting Harry to ask but he wasn't prepared for it. He looked at Harry.

 

'Nobody's ever been in my room and I'd like to keep it that way. Now, get your ass up and stop being a lazy little shit,' Louis told him as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him softly. Harry looked at the closed door then stretched his long limbs, got out of bed and headed to the adjoining bathroom for a hot shower.

 

X

 

 

Harry made his way downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. He was starving and he could smell the smell of food wafting up through the house the moment he stepped out of the guestroom and on to the landing. As he hopped happily down the stairs, he heard voices coming from the kitchen. He recognized Louis' voice and he sounded angry. Harry stopped just inside the doorway to the kitchen.

 

'I will not have him sign an NDA,' Louis growled.

 

'But Sir you know that that is standard procedure,' Leonard protested. Louis sighed heavily.

 

'And I already told you that he is not NDA standard!' Louis snapped.

 

'Your PR has been calling and asking what is going on. Some....person has pictures of you and him in Paris and around the city. This person called the PR office and he is asking for money or he will sell the pictures to the Sun and.....'

 

'And what does a fucking NDA have to do with this?' Louis yelled.

 

'It is for your own safety,' Leonard told him. There was a silent pause.

 

'I am safe with him,' Louis said on a much quieter tone.

 

'Sir you can never tell. What if things.....get out of hand?' Leonard asked and Louis knew what he was referring to. Leonard was referring to his extra curricular activities in his basement.

 

'They won't,' Louis said with certainity.

 

'Sir there is a chance that they might.....'

 

'THEY WON'T!' Louis yelled again. There was another moment of silence. 'Things won't get out of hand okay. I know what I'm doing.'

 

'Sir might I point out that you have never had such a constant in your life. It's been over six weeks that you have been seeing Mr.Styles. Myself and the PR team are confused as to how to handle any of the media regarding your new situation.'

 

'There is nothing to regard Leonard! Just tell the PR team to pay this person off. I don't want to be in the fucking tabloids again and tell them to threaten that I will sue if somebody else comes up with this shit.'

 

'Or perhaps maybe you would like to officially.....'

 

'Officially what? There is nothing to make official here Leo. Nothing at all and if there was, I don't think I would want to make headlines. My life is private and personal and your job and those at PR are to see that it fucking stays that way.'

 

'Yes Sir,' Leonard told him. 'I will call PR right away.' Harry walked into the kitchen just as Leonard walked out, greeting him with a good morning. Harry smiled at him, trying to keep his face neutral as if he hadn't heard their conversation. He walked over to where Louis was seated sipping his coffee and reading the Sunday morning newspaper. Harry looked at him and felt sad. The NDA thing had come up again, something that Louis didn't want to give him but that he had given to Ryan. Also the fact that Louis was keeping him hidden and always referring to him as "nothing" which really upset Harry because by now, Harry was sure of his feelings towards Louis and he was certain that he loved Louis. Louis looked up and gave him a smile.

 

'There you are,' he told him, patting the stool next to him on to which Harry immediately sat. Louis placed his hand on his thigh. 'How was your shower?'

 

'Good. Relaxing,' he told him trying hard to look normal after having heard their discussion.

 

'What do you want for breakfast?' Louis asked him, gently squeezing his thigh.

 

'Anything is good,' Harry told him and he looked down. Louis picked up on his mood right away.

 

'What's wrong?' he asked him, his voice going from playful to serious. Harry shook his head slightly and tried not to let the tears show in his eyes.

 

'Nothing. I'm just missing you already,' he lied. Well it wasn't exactly a lie but it was enough to hide his hurt feelings. It wasn't like he was going to confront Louis with what he had just overheard! Louis got up off the stool and wrapped his arms around him, drawing him into a hug.

 

'I'll be back before you know it yeah. And you can always stay here like I said.' Harry sniffed as he fisted Louis' t-shirt, pulling him closer.

 

'No I don't want to stay here without you. I would miss you more.' Louis smiled as he squeezed him a little tighter. Just then Mrs. Davis came in and stopped short when she saw her boss hugging Harry. It wasn't just the fact that he was hugging him. It was the way he was hugging him. So tenderly yet strong, protective yet docile. She cleared her throat and Louis pulled back.

 

'Sorry to interrupt,' she said, a fond smile on her face. 'But I came to ask if you would like breakfast served now?' Louis smiled at her while Harry sat there blushing.

 

'Yes Judy, go ahead,' Louis told her. They had breakfast in relative silence, Louis reading the newspaper and occasionally casting a look towards Harry who sat there eating his breakfast looking sullen. After they were done, Louis went up to his room to get ready while Harry waited for him in the lounge. He watched Leonard bring down Louis' suitcase and load it up in the car and Harry felt his heart grow sadder. Louis came down ten minutes later looking immaculate in a dark gray suit, white shirt and his hair quiffed to perfection. Harry's heart clenched in his chest.

 

'Shall we go?' Louis asked him softly, making sure to be careful and sensitive to Harry's mood. Harry nodded and got up, hoisted his back pack over his shoulder and picked up his laptop. He followed Louis silently to the car and got in. Louis got in beside him after giving Leonard a few instructions to follow while he was out of the country. Angus started the car and they headed towards Edgware Road. Neither of them said anything during the short drive. When Angus stopped in front of Harry's building, Louis turned to face him in his seat.

 

'I'll call you as soon as I land okay. Please don't be sad,' Louis told him as he stroked his cheek. 'Only four days and I'll be right back to you.' Harry swallowed hard but couldn't help the few stray tears that rolled down his warm cheeks.

 

'I'll miss you,' he told him quietly and Louis smiled fondly at him as he thumbed away his tears.

 

'I will miss you too,' he told him as he placed his hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a slow, languid kiss. He didn't care that Angus could see. He didn't care at all. They kissed softly, neither of them wanting it to end but eventually Louis pulled back. He rested his forehead against Harry's.

 

'I have to go or I'll be late,' Louis whispered against his lips. Harry nodded and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

 

'Be careful and have a safe flight.'

 

'I will. See you in four days.' Harry looked at him one more time memorizing every little detail of Louis' face then got out of the car before he broke down in front of Louis and made an utter fool of himself.

 

 

For the rest of the day, Harry just lounged about his tiny flat not really in the mood of doing anything but mope around and sulk. He was impatient and restless so he needed to occupy himself with something. Louis' flight was a 13 hour flight so he wouldn't hear from him till later tonight and Harry cringed inwardly as he saw the empty day stretch out in front of him. It being Sunday, he knew that his friends were with their respective others so he really didn't want to bother them or have them change their plans because of him.

 

He decided to make himself productive. He put on a Fleetwood Mac album then went into the little laundry room at the back of the flat and put in a load of washing. Then he went out into the kitchen and cleaned it out. When that was done, he went back into the laundry room to put in the first load into the drier and pop in another load. He straightened out the living room and vacuumed the carpet. When everything was done, the afternoon was still young. It was only just a little after 3 pm. Harry popped into the shower and while under the hot water, he decided to make himself a meal. When he was done with the shower, he put on some clothes and went to Tesco which was just around the corner from where he lived. He bought a chicken and veggies and some potatoes, deciding to do a Sunday roast but with a chicken instead of beef. As soon as he returned home, he started on his dinner, also feeling in the mood to make some Yorkshire puddings and gravy to go with the meal.

 

When everything was slowly cooking and the tiny flat was filled with the smell of roasting chicken, Harry settled on the couch. He put on the telly and went through the channels finally settling on Netflix and the new episodes of Game of Thrones. He needed anything to get his mind off Louis and not sit there pining for him because there was nothing he could do about it. When his food was ready, he filled up a plate and took it to the lounge, once again settling on the couch and continuing with Game of Thrones.

 

X

 

Harry opened his eyes feeling disoriented. The room was dark and something was ringing. It took him only a second to realize that the ringing was his phone and he quickly snatched it up off the coffee table where he had left it before he had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch. He swiped it.

 

'Hello?' he said groggily into the phone.

 

'Did I wake you?' Louis said and immediately Harry relaxed back into the cushions as a lazy smile spread across his cheeks.

 

'I dozed off,' Harry admitted.

 

'What were you doing?' Louis asked him curiously.

 

'Well I cleaned the flat, did laundry, made dinner for myself and then I watched Game of Thrones. I must have dozed off in the middle of an episode.'

 

'You exhausted yourself,' Louis told him.

 

'I needed to keep myself occupied. How was your flight?' Harry asked him.

 

'Long and boring. Just got to the hotel and I'm so jet legged. It's 8:30 am here. Time zones fuck me up,' Louis said. He did sound tired.

 

'What's your plans for today?' Harry asked him.

 

'Well I have to be at my company round 11 am so I'm just gonna sleep for a bit. You?'

 

'Nothing. Just go to bed since I fell asleep on the couch. Don't want to do my back in by sleeping on this old thing. Besides, I have to be up in six hours. I have four lectures tomorrow. Long ass day.'

 

'Ah yes I didn't realize its 1:30 am over there. Go. Go sleep. I'll call you tomorrow which will be my later. Text me when you're up okay.'

 

'I don't need to go sleep yet,' Harry protested. Louis chuckled.

 

'Yes you do. You sound half asleep. Goodnight. Talk tomorrow.'

 

'Okay,' Harry pouted. 'Goodnight. Miss you.'

 

'Miss you too.'

 

X

 

 

Harry tried to keep himself busy throughout the day, trying not to think too much of Louis and how missing him was painful. In between lectures while he was getting a coffee and rushing to the next class, he'd check his phone to see if Louis had texted him but there were no texts. Harry told himself that Louis was not on a vacation but on a business trip so he must be busy with his company over there. That didn't stop him from texting him though sending him the occasional "I miss you so much" and "thinking of you" messages.

 

By 1 pm Harry felt mentally exhausted. With exams coming up, his professors where giving them too much assignments plus a lot of revising and Harry didn't know how he was going to keep up with all the work let alone do it. He was glad it was lunch break because he really needed to see his friends. He hadn't seen them in almost a week since his birthday except of course the occasional wave he gave them from across campus while rushing in between classes. He made his way to their usual table and was glad to see that it was only Niall, Liam and Zayn sitting there. He wasn't in the mood for Nick's drama.

 

'Hey guys,' he told them cheerily as he sat down beside Niall. He placed his tea on the table and took out his wholemeal chicken and mayo sandwich.

 

'Hey Harold,' Niall greeted him happily. 'Long time no see buddy. What have you been up to?' Harry shrugged as he took a bite of his sandwich. He was famished.

 

'Not much. Too busy with homework and revising,' he said round a mouthful.

 

'Haven't seen you much at home either,' Niall pointed out, a cheeky smile on his face. Harry smiled and put his sandwich down as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

 

'I know. I'm sorry,' he said.

 

'No you're not you little shit,' Niall nudged him in the ribs. 'I myself haven't been round there much but when I was, I noticed that you had been absent for a few days! Have you been staying over at Louis'?' Harry nodded as he took a sip of his tea, feeling his cheeks burn. Liam raised an eyebrow at him.

 

'How has Louis been treating you? After that stunt on your birthday....' he paused and let it hang but waited for Harry to elaborate. Harry looked at him.

 

'He-he um just got upset b-because of Nick,' he offered by way of explanation. He didn't want to go back to it. He and Louis had sorted it out.

 

'He could've been a little less of a dick about it,' Zayn pointed out. Harry looked down. He hated that his friends always saw the bad in Louis.

 

'H-he just gets um jealous,' Harry said quietly. Liam reached over and placed his hand on Harry's.

 

'He doesn't like hurt you does he? Physically I mean?' he asked him and Harry's head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock.

 

'No! No he doesn't not at all. He's such a gentle person. What makes you even think that?' Zayn scoffed as if not believing Harry.

 

'Maybe because we saw how scared you were of him,' he stated. Harry looked at Zayn.

 

'Only because he yells a lot and loses his temper. You know how I get around people that yell and lose their tempers. Besides, it was my fault. I shouldn't have been flirting with Nick!'

 

'Harry its not your fault!' Niall told him. 'You didn't even know he was coming.' Harry let out an exasperated breath.

 

'He- he's just a l-little possessive that's all,' Harry told them defending Louis. He looked from one to the other. 'He is a really kind and gentle person. You guys don't know him like I do. He doesn't show that side of him to anyone. Please guys, he's not bad at all. He- he takes good care of me. Takes me places. He-he makes me happy. He got me a job with Marc Jacobs!' he told them. He watched their eyes go wide.

 

'A job with Marc Jacobs?' Liam exclaimed. 'What did you do?'

 

'I photographed his models for his Spring collection,' Harry told them proudly. 'And after exams are done, Louis is taking me to L.A because Marc wants me to model for him for his men's Spring collection.'

 

'Are you fucking kidding me?' Niall asked him and Harry shook his head, the smile on his face brighter than the sun.

 

'I'm not,' he said happily. 'He does a lot for me and I should be sensitive to his needs.' Harry looked down again. Niall nudged him in the ribs again.

 

'I bet you are sensitive to his needs,' he told him exagerating a wink and Harry giggled.

 

'So you two fucked?' Zayn asked out blatantly and Liam turned on him a look of shock horror on his face.

 

'Zayn! What the fuck? You can't just come right out and ask him that!'

 

'Why not?' Zayn asked him innocently.

 

'Because that's personal,' Liam scolded him. Then he looked at Harry with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 'But I think you're not a virgin anymore are you?' Harry blushed a deep red and couldn't help the smile on his face.

 

'No I'm not,' he told them shyly and they all cheered and asked him to tell them about the first time and it was then that Harry told them about the surprise visit to Paris in Louis' private jet and how Louis had booked a suite at the Hilton and took him around Paris all day. Then he told them how he rented a limo and took him to dinner on the Eiffel Tower and about their romantic night together, not giving them the full details of course. He showed them the pictures they took and he felt happy that he could finally share this with his friends. His friends couldn't close their mouths as they listened enthralled to Harry.

 

'I'm jealous,' Liam told him when he was done. 'Louis looks like he's a really romantic guy under that cold stern exterior of his.'

 

'He is,' Harry told them fondly. 'I have my own bedroom at his house.'

 

'He gave you your own bedroom? Where does he live?' Niall asked him.

 

'In a big ass mansion in Kensington,' Harry told them chuckling. He watched their faces go from awed to impressed.

 

'Guess we underestimated him,' Liam said softly. 'I think he does care about you for real Haz.' Zayn scoffed.

 

'He doesn't care for anybody but himself. He'll get tired of you like he did of the others. I mean to get rid of Ryan.....'

 

'He what?' Harry cut him off. Zayn looked at Harry with a cocked eyebrow.

 

'Oh sugar daddy didn't tell you?' Harry scowled at him.

 

'Don't call him that!' Harry snapped. 'What about Ryan?' Zayn took a sip of his coffee.

 

'Apparently Louis got tired of him. He doesn't make use of him anymore and he also fired him from Garlands. He didn't say the reason why but he was very angry and upset and cursed you a little too much in my opinion so maybe you have something to do with it?'

 

'Me?' Harry exclaimed. 'I didn't do anything to get Ryan fired.' Zayn smirked.

 

'Maybe because you're Louis' new boy toy and you replaced him so Louis threw out the old to make room for the new?'

 

'I'm not his boy toy!' Harry said angrily.

 

'So you're his what exactly hmm? Has he told you you're his boyfriend? Has he made it official?' Harry looked down at his hands and didn't speak.

 

'Zayn let up,' Liam warned him. 'We don't know what they are exactly. And seriously who needs a label? I mean we all thought Louis was after Harry's virginity but clearly he's not so maybe he has intentions with Harry?' Zayn scoffed but said nothing. Just then Harry's phone rang and Louis' smiling face came up on the screen, a picture Harry had taken of him in Paris. He looked at his friends as he stood up.

 

'I have to take this,' he told them as he swung his bag over his shoulder and picked up his phone. 'I'll see you guys later.' He walked away and swiped his phone.

 

'Hey,' he said by way of reply.

 

'Hey Harry,' Louis said and Harry felt his heart soar up high in his chest. 'Where are you?'

 

'I'm at Uni walking to my next lecture. You?' He heard Louis sigh.

 

'Stuck in a fucking meeting. We are just having a coffee break.'

 

'Sounds boring,' Harry said with a smile.

 

'It is,' Louis replied. 'Wish you were here so you could entertain me with your smart mouth.' Harry felt Louis' words go straight down to his dick which responded by twitching in his tight jeans.

 

'Don't give me a boner while I'm on my way to class,' Harry whined into the phone.

 

'Hmm that sounds like an idea. Having you all hot and bothered and squirming in your seat,' Louis told him huskily yet his voice was playful.

 

'Louisssss,' Harry whined. 'Its not fair. There's still two days till you come back.'

 

'Don't you fucking touch yourself,' Louis growled a warning through the phone. 'Unless I tell you to.' Harry smiled to himself.

 

'Yes Sir,' he said huskily. He heard noises in the back ground.

 

'Okay I gotta go. They're back in. Remember no touching yourself. What time do you get home?' Louis asked him.

 

'Round four-ish,' Harry replied.

 

'Good. I'll call you at half past four. It will be eleven thirty at night here so I should be back at the hotel by then and we'll Skype. I want to see you.'

 

'I want to see you too,' Harry whispered.

 

'Later then,' Louis told him.

 

'Later,' Harry said before they disconnected.

 

X

 

As soon as Harry's last lecture was finished, he dashed out of Uni and headed towards the tube station so he could get home in time to Skype with Louis. The moment he unlocked his door and entered the quiet flat, he looked at the clock in the kitchen. It was still just past 4 pm. He dropped his bag by the door and rushed to the bathroom, stripping as he went, dropping clothes on the floor on the way to the bathroom. He showered quickly and put on a pair of sweatpants and his lavender sweater. He was feeling cold so he turned on the heating. He then went to the kitchen and made a mug of tea and by the time he sat on his bed, it was almost 4:30 pm. He booted his laptop and sipped his tea. Harry sat cross legged in front of his laptop waiting for Louis to Skype him. He sipped his tea patiently and when Louis finally came through some fifteen minutes after their allocated time, Harry excitedly accepted his call. The moment he saw Louis' face on the screen of his laptop, Harry felt his heart soar with happiness.

 

'Hi Harry, sorry I'm late but its so good to see you,' Louis told him. Harry smiled at him not even caring that Louis was late. Louis looked tired. He was still in his dress shirt and tie, the tie loosened at the neck, the top button open. His hair was messy and his lower face was covered by the shadow of the day's stubble.

 

'You look tired,' Harry pointed out. 'Are you okay?' Louis gave him a weak smile.

 

'I look that bad huh?' he asked him playfully. Harry shook his head making his curls softly sway around his face.

 

'You don't look bad. You just look exhausted,' Harry told him. Louis sighed heavily.

 

'I found a shit load of mess at the company here. I haven't visited for a while and things just got out of hand. I don't know why the fuck I even employ people to avoid these messes in the first place when they can't even do their fucking job right,' Louis told him sounding exasperated. Harry narrowed his eyes at him.

 

'You're not staying there longer are you?' Harry asked him a little hesitantly.

 

'Fuck no!' Louis exclaimed. 'I can't wait to get back home. I might have to fire a few people before I fly back but I will sort it out over the next two days then I'll be on my way.' Harry smiled at him.

 

'Wish I was there to help you unwind,' he told him. His voice had gone down a notch, sounding deeper and a little huskier. Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'You can,' he told him, his voice equally husky. Harry furrowed his brows clearly confused.

 

'I can?' he asked him. 'How all the way from here?'

 

He is such a sweet naive boy. I never knew such innocence still existed and you are the devil that's corrupting this pure soul.

 

'I want to see you get yourself off on camera Harry,' Louis told him seductively not beating about the bush. 'It's been on my mind all day.'

 

Such a romantic! Words drop off your tongue like honey!

 

Louis watched Harry's eyes go wide, his mouth open, then close as he tried to come to terms with what Louis was asking of him. The shock on his features was quite evident.

 

'L-Louis I-I don't t-think I can,' Harry stuttered clearly taken off guard at Louis' indecent proposal.

 

'Why not?' Louis asked him. 'I already watched you touch yourself.' Harry swallowed.

 

'S'not the same,' Harry told him quietly.

 

'How so?' Louis asked him. Harry began fidgeting nervously with his fingers.

 

'When I um t-touched myself you were there. C-close to me.' He paused and looked down. 'Y-you made me come. I-I didn't make myself.....' Harry let it trail off. He was blushing deeply and his face felt hot. Louis knew he was uncomfortable with this and this knowledge turned him on even more. He wanted control. He wanted Harry to be submissive to his every need.

 

Arrogant, selfish prick!

 

'I think you can do it Harry,' Louis urged him on. Harry bit down on his bottom lip and blushed even more furiously. Louis could see how shy he was and he could see that Harry was having a little difficulty with what he was asking of him. Louis needed this so he decided to guilt trip him into it, a little reverse psychology of which he had a degree in. He knew it was so wrong on many levels but the selfish bastard in him, the dominant, controlling son of a bitch that he was, wanted this. He had never done anything like this before but he had heard about it and he wanted to try it. More over, he wanted Harry to simply submit to his desire. He didn't want Harry to say no!

 

Narcissit much?

 

Louis sighed dramatically. 'Its okay Harry if you are not ready to share this experience with me. I kinda thought it would bring us closer. I totally understand.' He made a disappointed face at Harry knowing it would make him feel guilty for saying no. Harry looked down again. He hated disappointing Louis. He couldn't take it that Louis felt disappointed in him.

 

'It-its just I-I've never done it before,' he told him in a cracked voice. Okay, so guilt tripping him was working. Louis decided to push it a little further.

 

'There's a first for everything Harry but I totally understand. I mean, you don't have to submit to all my wishes. Its just that I've had so many firsts with you, things I have never done before you came along and I thought this could be another first for us but its okay. I don't want you uncomfortable or anything. I just thought we could be intimate even while we are apart given I take so many business trips.' Harry chewed on his bottom lip, weighing his options. Then he looked up at the camera straight at Louis.

 

'How do you want me?' he whispered, still not sounding hundred percent sure about this but he knew he could trust Louis. If Louis thought this was a good idea and that it would bring them closer, how could he say no? After all, he wanted to be closer to Louis and Louis would never make him do anything that would be too much for him. Louis internally screamed "yes yes", high fiving his inner self but on the outside he remained calm and collected. He had to admit that he did feel kinda bad about pushing this on Harry, but his selfish side won out.

 

Yeah I'm pretty sure you feel so so bad!

 

'How about starting by getting undressed love?' Louis told him sweetly. He knew he had to use words that dripped honey to coax Harry into this.

 

He's so gone for you. You know the boy will do anything for you yet you just take advantage of him. You just take, take, take from him.

 

Louis wanted to protest against his subconscious as he watched Harry, or part of Harry that showed on camera as he took off his sweater. Whatever his subconscious said, Louis didn't feel as if he was taking advantage of Harry. Okay, so maybe he was a little.....

 

A little?

 

Okay maybe a little too much advantage taking was involved but what his subconscious failed to understand was that Louis couldn't get enough of Harry! Even being away for just four days and with so many miles in between them, Louis wanted him in any way or form he could have him and this was it. Many people who were in long distance relationships had phone sex, sexting and cam sex so why couldn't they?

 

Because he is shy and not comfortable with it yet you want it and you don't give a shit that the boy is only doing it to please you because he doesn't want to disappoint you!

 

Yeah Louis had to admit that he did get a thrill from pushing Harry to new limits only to see him submit to him, giving him more control over him. Harry's shyness and timidness only fueled Louis on to get him to submit to whatever he wanted.

 

Harry came back in full view of the camera, naked in all his beautiful glory. He sat on the bed and casually placed his hands in his lap, casually covering his parts. He kept his head down avoiding looking at the camera.

 

'Look at me,' Louis told him and Harry raised his head slowly, meeting Louis' eyes on camera. Louis could see that Harry's cheeks were very red. 'You look very beautiful,' Louis told him and the compliment earned him a small smile from Harry.

 

'So how do I do this?' Harry asked him shyly. Louis shifted a little in his seat because his boner was starting to hurt. He wasn't a fan of wanking. In fact, he hardly ever wanked at all. He always had his sexual desires seen to by his boys so he really didn't even know if wanking was going to help at all. He pressed the heel of his palm into his hard dick and he hissed at the feeling. He needed more. So much more.

 

'Sit back on the bed love. Put some cushions behind you to support your back. Place the laptop at the foot of the bed between your ankles. I want a good view of your beautiful body,' Louis told him using his softest voice. Harry gulped. He was going to be very exposed like that. Louis will have a view of.....everything! On camera! Louis saw him hesitate and his heart went out to him. He had to stop him. Harry was struggling with this and it wasn't fair.

 

Thank fuck he has a heart AND a conscience!

 

'Harry baby its okay if you don't want to do this. I truly understand,' he told him as sincerely as he could.

 

Why not try being a little more convincing hmm?

 

Harry shook his head a little and gave Louis a small smile.

 

'It's okay. I can do this,' he told him trying to sound convincing more for himself than for Louis.

 

'But do you want to?' Louis asked him.

 

Much better.

 

Harry looked straight into the camera meeting Louis' dark blue eyes. 'Anything for you,' he whispered and before Louis could say anything more to convince him it was okay not to do this, Harry shifted the laptop to the foot of the bed and arranged a few cushions and pillows against the headboard. Louis watched him sit back against the cushions then stretch out his long legs and spread them, placing his ankles on each side of the laptop. Louis felt his body burn from the inside out.

 

'You look amazing,' Louis praised him. 'Now plant your feet on the bed, always leaving the laptop between your ankles and spread your thighs honey,' Louis ordered gently. Harry obeyed him and slowly he planted his feet beside the laptop and ever so slowly parted his thighs exposing himself fully to Louis' gaze. He felt weird and out of his element doing this but it was for Louis. And Louis would always take care of him.

 

Harry watched Louis' eyes on him. Louis could hardly breathe as he looked at Harry all exposed as he was.

 

'Baby you're so gorgeous,' Louis told him. 'Wish I was there right now to fuck you on that bed!' His words made Harry moan a little and his semi hard dick twitch. 'Let's get you fully hard shall we?' Louis coaxed him and Harry simply nodded. Louis licked his lips.

 

'Do you have any lube love?' Louis asked him and Harry nodded as he reached over to bedside table drawer and pulled out a small bottle. 'Good boy,' Louis praised him. 'Now I want you to fuck yourself on two fingers and touch yourself. Can you do that baby?' Harry nodded again as he poured a little lube on his fingers and brought his fingers down to his expectant hole. He circled his middle finger on the puckered muscle, getting it wet then ever so gently he eased a finger in all the way to the knuckle. He hissed and threw his head back on the pillows.

 

'Easy baby,' Louis told him. 'You're doing great.' Louis was palming his dick through his pants while he watched Harry adjust to the first digit inside his ass. Harry raised his head, wrapped his other hand around his dick and began pumping himself slowly while thrusting one finger in and out of his hole.

 

'Louis,' he moaned.

 

'I'm here love. You looking fucking gorgeous like that. Can't wait till I get home and fuck you nice and proper,' Louis said thickly. Harry whined in his throat and Louis noticed that he was pushing in another finger next to his other one. Louis unzipped his pants and began stroking himself trying to move his hand to Harry's rhythm. Harry had picked up a rhythm for himself, pushing his hips down to fuck himself on his fingers and bucking up to thrust his hard dick into his fist. Louis could see that he was struggling because he was so turned on now and knew Harry was trying to reach his prostate.

 

'Harry baby do you think you can take another finger?' Louis asked him wanting to see him stretched out more. Harry shook his head and whined out a feeble no. Louis tsked.

 

'Honey you took my dick which is thicker than three fingers. I'm sure you can. Come on let's hit that sweet spot of yours hmm? I wanna see you come so bad baby,' Louis urged him on. Harry bit his lip and placed a third finger next to his hole and ever so slowly began to push it in. He stopped for a bit when he felt the burn of the stretch but continued to push it all the way in. He was breathing heavily, his body glistening with a light sheen of sweat. Louis could see the effort it was taking him to do this.

 

'Amazing my beautiful boy,' Louis praised him. 'So beautiful. Now reach that spot Harry. Come for me sweetheart,' Louis urged him and Harry obliged. He fucked himself with three fingers curling them up trying to hit his prostate while he tugged harshly on his dick. Louis could feel the sweat dripping down his back. Harry was so hot like this. He pumped his dick harder, smearing the pre-cum to make an easier slide. A loud moan from Harry told Louis that he had hit his spot. He saw his face scrunch up in pleasure as he fucked himself harder, his hips thrusting up and down.

 

'I'm c-close Louis ahhh,' Harry moaned out.

 

'Press your thumb into the slit Harry it will help,' Louis instructed him and Harry did so. Louis watched his body tremble and shake at the sensation. Harry continued with his movements.

 

'Ahhh Louis I'm I'm oh God,' he moaned.

 

'That's it baby let go come on ride it out for me,' Louis coaxed him and he watched as Harry shot his cum up all over his chest, some hitting his chin and his curls.

 

'Oh fuck oh God Louis Louis oh my.....Louissssss,' Harry groaned out as he rode out his orgasm, waves of pleasure coursing through his body. Louis was still tugging at his dick but couldn't come. He knew he wouldn't from a simple wank. He needed human contact. When Harry's orgasm died down a little, Louis watched him relax his body, watched his chest rise and fall rapidly. His fingers where still tucked away up his ass and Louis watched him wince as he gently pulled them out, his red puffy hole clenching at nothing. Louis increased his hand movements up and down his cock hoping to come because he was so hard now it was actually hurting but even though he could feel his orgasm curling and tugging inside of him, he couldn't climax.

 

'You look so fucked out,' Louis told him hoarsely. 'So beautiful and so dirty yet innocent at the same time. How do you do it?' Harry smiled lazily as he reached for a box of tissues of his bed sidetable. He pulled out a few and wiped his fingers then wiped at the cum all over him.

 

'I'm sticky,' he told Louis and Louis gave him a smile.

 

'I bet you are,' he told him feeling frustrated that he couldn't bring himself to come. He watched Harry look at him through the camera. 'What is it love?' Louis asked him.

 

'I miss you cuddling me after sex. I feel lonely,' he told him pouting a little.

 

'My needy boy,' Louis said fondly. 'I wish I was there to hold you too but I will be home before you know it yeah. Why don't you go and have a hot bath? You have been so good for me you deserve a nice long hot soak. Then I will call you before I go to bed yeah?' Harry gave him a beatific smile.

 

'Alright,' he agreed. 'Louis?'

 

'Yes?'

 

'Did I...did I um do well?' Harry asked him a little shyly and Louis smiled at him.

 

'You did excellently,' Louis praised him. Harry smiled big, popping his dimples. He always felt happy when he pleased Louis and in return Louis praised him.

 

'I'll talk to you later then?' Harry asked him.

 

'Sure thing. Enjoy your bath.'

 

As soon as they disconnected Louis sighed. He looked down at himself and he was as hard as a rock with only a little cum dribbling from his dick. He cursed himself for thinking that this was a good idea! In all honesty, he had never done it before so he couldn't know the outcome. He needed to solve his problem. He reached for the phone and scrolled through his contacts for a male escorting agency he used whenever he was in town. He had met a guy from the agency the last time he had come here who had met his needs so he was hoping he could get him but then again he wasn't picky.

 

You are going to cheat on Harry?

 

Louis scoffed at his subconscious. This was not cheating. He wasn't in an official relationship with Harry or a monogamous one at that. He was still single and he could do whatever he wanted.

 

Seriously? You are just going to fuck a male escort after you had Harry do all that for you? Are you even human?

 

'It's just a fuck for fucks sake!' Louis yelled at his subconscious.'I can fuck whoever and whenever I want and right now, I need my dick taken care of!' He tapped the phone number and waited. When his call was received, he told them who he was and asked for Emerson and if he could be sent at the Royal Plaza as soon as possible. He was informed that Emerson will be there in half an hour and will cost him 500 dollars an hour. Louis told them that an hour was fine and thanked them. When he hung up, he got up, tucked his hard dick back in his pants and poured himself a whiskey from the mini bar. One wasn't going to cut it so while he waited for Emerson, he downed a few out on the balcony, looking down at the beautiful city below.

 

True to their word, twenty minutes later there was a knock on his door. Louis opened it and found Emerson outside.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' Emerson greeted him. 'So lovely to see you again. It's been a while.' Louis opened the door for him and Emerson walked in. He was a very beautiful man, with a good physique, short dark hair, a goatee and chocolate brown eyes. Emerson was American but had moved to Singapore a few years back. Louis eyed him as he walked past him further into the suite and noticed that he looked like a bodybuilder. All his muscles where defined and he was extremely well built and fit.

 

'Yes its been a while,' Louis told him. He wasn't in the mood for small talk. He just wanted to fuck. Pop in, unload and pop out. Pay the man, have a shower, call Harry and go to sleep. Emerson looked at him, a smile on his lips.

 

'Anything in particular you want today Sir?' he asked him as he walked over to him and stood really close. He leaned down to kiss Louis but Louis turned his face away.

 

'Just a simple fuck,' Louis told him. 'Nothing special.' Emerson looked a little taken aback as Louis handed him a stack of folded bills.

 

'You don't have to pay me upfront you know and since you're paying that much I might as well make it worth your time,' Emerson told him a little seductively as he ran his hand down to his hard dick and squeezed gently. Louis took a step back and looked at him. It irritated him that the eyes looking back at him were not green.

 

'I want you out of here as soon as I'm done. Now, go in my bedroom, get undressed and lay on your stomach,' Louis ordered. Emerson swallowed.

 

'Yes Sir,' he told him curtly and went into the bedroom. Louis went to the mini bar and poured himself another whiskey and gulped it down. He didn't understand why he was irritated and why this didn't feel right.

 

Because your heart and mind are not in it.

 

Louis poured another one, knocked it back in one swallow and went into the bedroom. Emerson was stark naked, lying face down on the bed, his legs spread open and inviting. When he heard Louis come in, he looked over his shoulder and smiled at him.

 

'This good enough for you Sir?' he asked him but his tone was a little mocking and Louis didn't like it.

 

'Whores are not paid to talk,' Louis told him as he unzipped his pants and took them off, taking out a condom from his pocket. Emerson felt a little offended though he had no reason to but still. He knew perfectly well Louis was an asshole but he seemed worse than before if that were possible since the last time he had given him his services. Louis pulled off his boxers and though he was still hard, he wasn't as hard as he was when Harry was fucking himself on camera. Harry, he thought. Louis closed his eyes trying not to think of Harry but Harry was there! Inside of him, taking up every inch if his internal space.

 

Louis shook his head slightly. 'On your hands and knees,' he told Emerson and he was quick to obey Louis. Louis got on the bed on his knees and positioned himself behind Emerson. He placed his hands on Emerson's hips but it didn't feel right. His hips were too wide and too muscled. His skin was too tanned, not pale and not soft and didn't smell of fruit. His ass was too big and hard, not soft and small and round. His back was too muscled and the shoulders too big. His hair was too short and his skin had no tattoos. This was not right. Louis got off the bed.

 

'Get the fuck out of my room,' Louis told him as he picked up the robe that was on the chair by the bed and put it on. Emerson looked at him confused.

 

'What? You paid for.....'

 

'I don't give a fuck what I paid for! Now get the hell out of my room. Now!' he yelled. 'Leave!' Emerson quickly slid off the bed, picking up his clothes feeling confused at what the hell had just happened. He went into the bathroom to fix himself up and when he came back out fully dressed, Louis was sitting on the bed, looking out the balcony doors that were wide open. Emerson cleared his throat.

 

'If you want a refund.....'

 

'I don't want a fucking refund! What I want is for you to get the fuck out,' Louis snapped at him without looking at him. Emerson nodded and exited the suite. Louis sat on the bed feeling lost. What was happening to him? Why couldn't he just have a normal fuck like he used to?

 

Because things have changed since Harry walked into your life.

 

'No they haven't!' Louis yelled into the empty bedroom. 'Why the fuck should they? He is nothing to me. Nothing.'

 

I beg to differ.

 

Louis got up off the bed and paced the length of the room back and forth tugging at his hair in frustration.

 

'I can't let him do this to me! I can't let him have control of me! I can't let him come into my fucking life and turn it upside down. I just can't.'

 

I think its a little too late for that.

 

'No its not! He has no hold over me. None!'

 

Listen to yourself! You couldn't even go through fucking a whore because all you saw was HIM! All you want is HIM! Admit it, you need him and he's changing you. He made his way into your life now you can't do without him.

 

'NO!' Louis yelled as he placed both hands on his ears trying not to listen to his stupid subconscious. 'Fuck you. He will never own me! Never.' Just then his phone dinged. He walked over to the bedside table and swiped it to see that he had a message from Harry. He tapped on it and there was a selfie of him, sitting on his couch in a blue and gray plaid pyjama pants and a Thor tee shirt, his hair in a messy bun smiling like an idiot with those dimples popped out, his green eyes shining. The message read : "Miss you so much to the moon and back. Waiting for your call." Louis ground his teeth together and hurled his phone across the room and heard it smash against the wall.

 

'FUCK YOU!' he screamed. 'Fuck you and your innocence and fuck the moment I met you. Fuck you Harry! You will never fucking own me. Ever.'

 

Oh but he already does!

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 11 : THE DEMON WITHIN.


	11. The Demon Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: I know I have left warnings at the beginning of this story but one more won't hurt. If RAPE or VIOLENCE TRIGGERS YOU, THEN DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER.  
> Consider yourself warned. I got too much shit on Wattpad for this chapter so please just know what you are getting into.  
> All the love  
> M.

The Demon Within.

 

Don't get too close, Its dark inside. It's where my demons hide.

 

 

Louis was glad to be back in London. As much as he hated the dreary, rainy weather, he was glad to be home. His plane had landed at 8 pm local time and now he was in his car being driven to his house. He was tired and jet legged but he couldn't wait to get home and see Harry. He felt excited. Excited to see him after four days and excited to show him the first copy of the fashion magazine with the pictures Harry had taken of Marc's models. They were amazing and fashion critiques were asking who this photographer was. Marc had called him while in Singapore to congratulate him on spotting Harry's talent and to thank him for making him give Harry a test drive. His name was now out there and he was being noticed. And Louis couldn't have felt any prouder.

 

Louis sighed as they stopped at a red light. The events from two days ago had him rattled. The fact that Harry had such a huge impact on his life didn't sit too well with Louis. He wasn't one for needing or depending on anyone so his need for Harry troubled him. His dependency on Harry scared him.

 

This was all new to Louis and he knew that he felt something for Harry. He didn't know what it was exactly whether it was dominance, control or.....no, he wouldn't entertain the idea of saying he felt love for the boy. Louis knew he was unable to love. He wanted to keep things simple with Harry but things were getting more and more complicated. More so, Harry didn't know him at all. Harry only knew the Louis that he allowed him to see. Louis never let him peek at the Louis inside.

 

As they neared his home, Louis felt more excitement build up inside him at seeing Harry. He had texted him a few times but never called him again. He had been too worked up to have an actual conversation with Harry over the phone and Harry had realized that something was up immediately, though Louis had simply told him he was stressed due to work problems and Harry had believed him, not questioning him again. That was something that terrified him. How Harry was so tuned to him and never pushed. He let him do everything in his own time and space.

 

Angus stopped the car at the front door and Louis told him he wouldn't be needing the car anymore so he could just retire. He made his way inside and the moment he opened the door, he was greeted by an over excited Harry who looked immaculate in a pair of black satin tailored pants, a white button down shirt and black shoes. His hair was down just the way Louis liked it. Harry walked over to him, a smile on his face.

 

'Welcome home,' he told him in his deep drawl, his green eyes shining straight into his. Louis felt himself melt at the sight of him, at the familiar feelings he felt at the sight of him and his presence that made him feel like he truly had come home. Louis swallowed and let Harry engulf him in a hug. Louis hugged him back, immersing himself in the solidity of Harry's warm body against his own. There was a raging battle going on inside of him : one part of him wanted to completely fall for Harry while the other part of him just couldn't allow that and that was the dominant part of Louis.

 

Harry took his hand and led him to the kitchen. Mozart was playing in the living room which Louis could see had a fire going in the fireplace and candles were lit all around the room, making it look soft and romantic.

 

'Where's everyone?' Louis asked him. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'Well, I gave Judy the day off and Leonard the evening off. I swear to God Louis, that man is too uptight and he needs to unwind,' Harry told him as he poured two glasses of red wine, handing one to Louis who took a sip gratefully.

 

'Oh so you're handling my staff now?' Louis asked him amused and immediately watched Harry's face turn serious.

 

'Are you mad at me?' Harry asked him a little panicked. 'I-I um just wanted t-to um f-for us to um....'

 

'Harry its okay,' Louis was quick to reassure him when he saw him start to panic. He hated that Harry was afraid of him. Harry took a gulp of his wine.

 

'I cooked for you,' he told Louis and Louis smiled at him as Harry took his hand again and led him into the dining room. The dining table was set for two complete with candles.

 

'Hmm a candlelight dinner. I never had one,' Louis remarked which made Harry smile big.

 

'Sit and relax,' he told Louis. 'You had a few stressful days so let me take care of you.' Harry pulled out a chair for Louis and when he sat down, he undid his tie and opened the two top buttons of his shirt. Louis smiled at him as he drank more of his wine.

 

Harry went into the kitchen and came back with two plates one of which he placed in front of Louis.

 

'Sir your dinner. Linguine alle vongole Harry style. Get it? Harry style! And I'm Styles!' He burst out into fits of giggles at his own pun and Louis joined him even though the joke wasn't even that funny but Harry's laughter was addictive and he was too cute.

 

'Hmm smells good,' Louis praised.

 

'Wait till you taste it,' Harry told him proudly. Louis took a mouth full of pasta and hummed in pleasure as the taste of the food hit his taste buds. He chewed and swallowed.

 

'Oh my God Harry this is amazing,' Louis complimented. Harry smiled clearly satisfied and happy that Louis liked his food. They ate in comfortable silence, sipping wine and occasionally talking about nothing in particular. When they were done, Harry brought in dessert that he had also made : a lemon cheesecake and Louis was indeed impressed.

 

'I might fire Judy and hire you as my cook,' Louis joked. Harry laughed happily as he got up and began clearing the table but Louis stopped him.

 

'Leave it. The maids will take care of it tomorrow,' he told him, so Harry took his hand and led him into the living room that looked nice and cozy with the fireplace on and candles all around, a sweet scent filling the room. Harry turned off Mozart and went to get their wine. He handed the glass to Louis and sat down beside him.

 

'I missed you,' Harry told him as he ran his finger up the inside of Louis' thigh. Louis internally shivered and immediately felt his dick stir. He might get his missed out fuck after all! Before Louis could reply, Harry straddled his lap and kissed him deep and hard, plunging his tongue into Louis' mouth, tugging at the collar of his shirt to pull him closer. Louis grabbed a fistful of Harry's bum, digging his fingers in the soft flesh which felt so right in his hands. It fit perfectly.

 

After kissing for a while, which made both of them pretty hard, Louis began to undo the buttons of Harry's shirt, all the while looking into his beautiful green eyes. He slid the shirt off his broad shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He ran his hands up Harry's long torso, stopping at his nipples. He gently pinched the tiny perky nubs between his thumb and index fingers, watching Harry close his eyes and bite down on his bottom lip as he threw his head back and moaned softly. Louis watched him as he continued to roll his nipples, occasionally pinching them making Harry arch his back into the touch and roll his hips forward trying to find friction. He was so beautiful like this, with his face flushed from arousal and wine, soft shadows dancing on his face from the flickering candlelight. Louis leaned forward wrapping his arms around Harry's back and licked at his puffy nipple. Harry groaned and his fingers found their way into Louis' hair, tugging gently urging him on. Louis took his nipple between his lips and sucked hard making Harry whine and roll his hips. Louis ran his hands up and down Harry's back but keeping him in place as he continued to assault his nipples, giving them both equal attention. Harry was becoming breathless, panting at the sensations Louis was giving him. Louis pulled back placing kisses on the swollen red nubs and giving Harry time to catch his breath. Louis then indicated Harry's pants.

 

'Off,' Louis ordered and Harry was quick to get up off his lap, kick off his shoes and take off his trousers to reveal another lacy thong, this time in a soft pink. Louis nearly passed out at the beautiful sight before him. Harry straddled his lap once again and right away, Louis' hands made their way to his bum, kneading the flesh and pulling his cheeks apart. Harry moaned in pleasure as he rolled his hips over Louis' hard dick.

 

'Fuck I missed you,' Louis groaned when he felt the friction from Harry's dick pressing down on his own. Harry began kissing Louis' face and undoing his shirt as his lips trailed down his cheekbones down to his jaw all the while rutting against him hard.

 

'If you're gonna keep this up I'm gonna come like this,' Louis said breathlessly and Harry quickened his rutting, moaning all the while at the sensation. Louis bucked up his hips, his dick brushing up between Harry's butt cheeks. They kept this up for a while, both of them panting into each others open mouths while rutting hard against each other. Louis was sucking Harry's nipples again making the young boy squirm in his lap.

 

'Oh God,' Harry moaned. 'More Louis please.' Louis decided to give him a little more. As he sucked and bit down on his puffy, sensitive nipples, his index finger made its was to Harry's hole. Louis moved the thong to the side and ran a dry finger over his clenching hole making Harry whimper. Louis tried to push his finger in but Harry was too dry and he didn't want to hurt him. So he just kept on running his finger in lazy circles over his hole. He could feel it fluttering under his fingertip and it drove Louis crazy.

 

Harry was lost to the sensations Louis was making him feel. He was overwhelmed from having his nipples sucked and bit, his hole played with and his hard leaking dick rutting against Louis' own hard cock.

 

'I-I love you,' he whispered out breathlessly against Louis' lips. Louis froze. His hands stopped moving on Harry's bum altogether.

 

'What did you say?' he said in a very low voice. Harry smiled against his lips as he caressed his cheeks.

 

'I love you Louis,' he whispered again. 'I am in love with you.' Something then happened inside of Louis. Something snapped. Something got triggered. Things were happening inside of his head, thoughts, memories, darkness, like a black and white silent movie playing on repeat. A panic attack was gripping him in a ferocious way. His heart was ramming hard against his ribs and he felt it. The fear claw at him, the anxiety eating up his insides. He pushed Harry off of him forcefully, taking Harry completely by surprise. Harry fell backwards ending up on his ass on the carpet and even though the carpet was thick, the impact sent a jolt of pain up his spine. Louis stood up and towered over Harry who looked up at him baffled. He glared down at him, his face contorted in anger.

 

'The fuck did you just say to me?' Louis yelled loudly. Harry had never seen his face full of such rage before. His sweet delicate features were gone and they were replaced by a different Louis. His blue eyes had gone completely black.

 

'I-I-I'm s-sorry,' Harry stammered out though he didn't know what he was apologizing for exactly. He had only told Louis that he loved him and that he was in love with him.

 

'Sorry? Is that all you can fucking say to me?' Louis roared and Harry had to admit that he felt confused and scared as to why Louis was acting this way. Louis had yelled before and lost his temper but this was anger on a whole new different level. 'You fucking tell me that shit then say sorry? How can you even fucking say it to me when you don't even fucking know me?' he screamed. Harry swallowed hard and began to shake.

 

'I-I-I w-want to know you. L-l-let me know you,' Harry stammered. Louis laughed and it reminded Harry of the way some villain in a Disney movie laughed.

 

'You want to know me huh? I don't fucking think so. If you knew the real me you would run away from me for miles,' Louis threw at him, making Harry shrink away from him.

 

'I-I w-won't r-run I-I promise Louis. L-let me know you. Please,' Harry told him in a shaky voice. Louis glowered at him.

 

'You really want to fucking know me? The real me?' he growled at Harry.

 

'Y-yes,' Harry told him. Louis laughed again, sending chills up Harry's spine. He bend down and grabbed Harry's wrist harshly and hauled him up as if he was just a child.

 

'Okay then let's go and meet the real Louis,' Louis snarled at him as he commenced to walk and pull Harry behind him. Harry felt frightened now as Louis dragged him to a door under the stairs. He opened the door and the moment he pulled Harry in, Harry noticed the change. There were no longer light colored walls or soft thick carpets underfoot. There were cement walls and steep cement stairs leading down. Louis tugged on his wrist harshly, making Harry wince.

 

Don't do this! You're out of your mind!

 

'W-w-where are you taking me?' Harry asked him now frightened. Louis grinned at him like a maniac.

 

'You wanted to fucking see the real me and I'm taking you to meet him,' he yelled and tugged harshly on Harry's wrist again making him follow him down the stairs nearly making him trip as Harry's bare feet scraped painfully against the rough cement stairs. Harry's heart was beating wildly in his chest.

 

Stop it! Stop it now! Before its too fucking late and you will regret it.

 

'L-Louis I-I-m scared,' Harry whispered. Louis laughed again.

 

Look at him! He's terrified! Please please stop it.

 

'You fucking should be,' he told him as he pushed open the door at the bottom of the stairs and pushed Harry in before him. Harry lost his balance and fell forward, ending up on his knees in the middle of a big room. He looked around and his breath caught in his throat. The room was covered in studded black leather walls and it had black fitted carpets. In the middle of the room was a Victorian looking bed. It was a huge four poster bed made of dark walnut and even from his position on his knees on the carpet, Harry could tell that is was an antique. The posts were carved and it had a canopy with black curtains around it and dark red satin sheets covered the mattress. The bed was massive taking up most of the room. Next to it Harry could see a rack that held lots of leather belts of different shapes, thickness and color. He also noticed the cuffs attached to chains wrapped around the carved posts. It began to dawn on Harry what Louis liked. Louis was into bondage and whipping! Harry turned to look at him.

 

'I get it,' he told him. 'I know what you are into.' Louis laughed loudly.

 

'You know shit! Just because you see all this doesn't mean you fucking know me!' Louis yelled. 'Get up!' Harry shook his head and tried to crawl away from Louis.

 

'Oh no you fucking don't!' Louis roared. 'You want to know me and that's what you're gonna do. You're gonna fucking know me and see how much you love me then. Now get the fuck up and don't make me tell you one more fucking time.' Harry looked up at him with wide terrified eyes.

 

Leave him be! You've gone crazy!!

 

'Please Louis don't,' he begged him and Louis' mind went back 22 years. When he too had begged. When he too had said "don't"! Louis advanced on Harry and grabbed his wrist again.

 

'Get the fuck up,' he yelled and hauled him up one more time, pushing him towards the bed. Harry was feeling frantic now. Louis wouldn't hurt him would he?

 

Stop now before its too late. Before you go too far.

 

'Louis please please don't hurt me,' Harry begged frantically. His Louis was still somewhere in there so maybe he would hear him and stop this. 'Please I understand. I'm scared Louis,' Harry's voice broke and he could feel the tears coming. He was genuinely frightened.

 

'Turn the fuck around,' Louis roared. 'And bend over the God damn fucking bed!' Harry wiped at his eyes quickly thinking that if Louis saw him crying it would make him angrier.

 

He's begging you! He's terrified and in tears! Do you have a heart at all? Snap out of it.

 

'Please Louis,' Harry tried again, his begging bring forth more dark memories inside Louis' mind. The more Harry begged and cried, the more memories surfaced into Louis' twisted mind dragging him deeper back into a time when he was helpless and scared.

 

'Shut the fuck up!' he yelled as he pushed Harry face down onto the bed. 'Don't make me fucking gag you!' He grabbed one of his arms and pulled it up fastening the leather cuff tightly around his wrist.

 

'It hurts,' Harry whispered brokenly but Louis only went to the other side of the bed and fastened the cuff to his other wrist. Both leather cuffs dug in Harry's flesh as his arms stretched out above his head. He tried to pull his wrists hoping to free them but the leather only cut deeper into his soft skin. Louis stood at the foot of the bed behind Harry's bent form.

 

You're hurting him for fucks sake! He's not cut out for this.

 

'Spread your fucking legs,' he bellowed. Harry raised his head and tried to look over his shoulder at Louis.

 

'Louis please please please don't hurt me,' he cried, the tears streaming down his face but his pleas only fueled Louis towards that dark place from which he could never be freed. He grabbed one of Harry's ankles and stretched his leg towards one of the posts making Harry cry out as his hip bone creaked loudly. He fastened a cuff round his ankle then did the same with the other. Now Harry was bound down, bent over the bed at the waist, face down, arms raised up above his head and legs spread apart. Harry tried to move, tugging at his wrists but to no avail. Louis had bound him tightly. Louis grabbed his thong and ripped it off of him, throwing it to the floor.

 

'Louis untie please they hurt,' Harry begged. 'W-we can talk. I-I promise I will understand. I-I won't run Louis I promise. I promise. Please don't do this to me,' he pleaded, a sob escaping his lips. He could hear Louis shuffling somewhere behind him but he couldn't see him.

 

Can't you feel anything for this angel you are about to wreck?

 

'There's nothing to fucking talk about Harry. YOU fucking wanted this! YOU asked to fucking know me and I'm introducing you to the monster that I am,' Louis growled and before he even finished speaking he landed the belt hard on Harry's bum. Harry was caught by surprise and he cried out loudly in pain at the sharp sting of leather on his skin. His breath caught and before he could even breath properly, Louis landed another one that caught him on the back of his thighs. Harry's body tensed up tightly as he pulled hard at his restraints.

 

Please stop!

 

'Louis stop,' he cried. 'Please stop.' But Louis was too far gone to even hear him. He kept delivering blow after blow, hitting Harry hard on his ass and back of the thighs. Harry cried and screamed and thrashed and pulled at his restraints trying to free himself but it was to no avail. He begged Louis repeatedly to stop, that he was hurting him but little did he know that his begging and pleas were only driving Louis further into his dark place. When Louis' arm began to ache, he dropped the belt to the floor and when Harry heard the thud of the leather on the carpet, he sighed in relief thinking that this ordeal was over but it was far from over. Louis unzipped his trousers, spread open Harry's cheeks and plunged himself balls deep into Harry in one swift movement without any prep or lube. Harry screamed at the intrusion feeling the pain of Louis' dick entering him dry.

 

Have you no shame at all? He is not one of your whores!

 

'Stop! Stop! Stop!' he sobbed, his voice already raw from all the crying and screaming. 'Louis please it hurts bad. Please just stop!' But Louis was nowhere near done. He pulled out almost all the way and slammed back in, making Harry scream in pain again. The burn inside his ass was excruciating and Louis felt pain too. His dick hurt from the dry drag of skin and Harry's tightness around him. Harry's body was so tense, Louis could hardly move inside him yet he spread his cheeks wider, pulled out again and rammed his dick home straight into Harry's prostate making him cry harder. Harry grabbed at the sheets in fistfuls trying to find something to hold on to as he felt Louis split him apart. He cried and begged but Louis just continued to fuck him raw. Louis held him down by placing both hands on Harry's lower back pressing him further down into the mattress and continued pounding him, attacking his prostate harshly. It got so intense and Harry's prostate was so sensitive from being hit repeatedly that his stomach lurched and he threw up all over the bed because he couldn't take it anymore. His arms hurt from all the pulling, nearly dislocating his shoulders from their sockets. He could feel the joints in his shoulders popping and protesting. His dick lay limp and dribbling pre cum. He was in too much pain to even get hard.

 

You know there is no coming back from this right? You crossed a line you cannot come back from.

 

Finally Harry gave up struggling. He went pliant on the bed and gave himself over to Louis completely, letting him ride it out. There was no getting out of this and the more he struggled, the more his body tensed up and the more he felt pain. He relaxed on the bed, his face in his own vomit and whimpered silently as Louis continued to fuck him hard. How was it possible that this was his sweet, kind Louis? The Louis that took him to Paris and made sweet love to him and took care of him? Harry felt more hot tears fall from his eyes as Louis continued to ram his dick hard inside him. At last he felt a warm liquid seep inside his ass filling him up and he knew that Louis had come. He closed his eyes feeling thankful that it was over. Louis pulled out of him harshly making Harry cry out and when he looked down, he saw cum and blood seep out of Harry's ass down the back of his thighs. There was also some blood on his dick. He zipped himself up and went to the side of the bed looking down on a very ruined Harry. His face was streaked with tears and vomit, his eyes red and puffy. His lips were bleeding because he had bit down on them so hard. Louis leaned down a little closer to him.

 

'See if you can love me now Harry. Bet you can't tell me you love me now huh?' Harry couldn't even open his eyes. He didn't have any strength at all left in his body and his body hurt all over. He just lay there unmoving. Louis padded out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

 

'I love you,' Harry whispered into the empty room before his knees buckled beneath him.

 

X

 

Louis took the stairs of the basement two at a time. As soon as he reached the first floor he yelled for Jarvis.

 

'JARVIS! Jarvis where the fuck are you?' he yelled. Jarvis came out of a side door and rushed over to Louis panicked as to why his boss was yelling so loudly at this late hour.

 

'I'm here Sir. Is anything the matter?'

 

'Go down to the basement and take care of him,' he growled at him harshly. Jarvis took a step back from the intensity of Louis' anger.

 

'Yes Sir,' he replied without questioning him further and hurried down to the basement. Jarvis had taken care of a few of Louis' boys after one of his sessions. Louis stomped up the stairs to his room, taking the stairs two at a time. He was fuming, the rage inside of him reaching new heights which surprised even him. He entered his room, slamming the door forcefully behind him, making the wooden door rattle on its hinges.

 

You are turning into him.

 

Louis clenched his fists tightly, his short fingernails digging into the palm of his hands.

 

You are as disgusting as him!

 

'NO!' Louis screamed. With a swipe of his arm he cleared his dresser of all the things on it, sending all his after shave and jewellery boxes crashing to the floor, cuff links and tie clips scattering everywhere. 'I'M NOT HIM!' he screamed again, pulling at his hair. He went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. When he turned around, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and he hardly recognized himself.

 

You are him!

 

Louis grabbed his hair dryer and hurled it at the mirror, shattering the glass into a million piece as they rained into the ceramic sink.

 

'I AM NOTHING LIKE HIM!' he screamed again. He quickly undressed, throwing his clothes into a heap on the floor. As soon as he took of his trousers he noticed the dried blood on his dick.

 

Still think you're not him?

 

Louis got in the shower putting his head under the water and letting it wash away all his sweat and blood off of him. He was breathing harshly, his lungs trying to pump in enough air but he was gulping like a fish out of water. He knew it was a panic attack gripping him viciously. He tried to breathe calmly but his heart was pounding from fear. In his mind, he was still in that dark room. In that small bedroom 22 years ago. He closed his eyes tightly shut willing the memories to go away and leave him alone.

 

'No. No. No. No,' he told himself.

 

You did what you vowed you would never do. You hurt the only person that has dared to love you. You took away his innocence and you hurt him like no other.

 

Suddenly he felt deflated, his body going numb, all anger evaporating from his system now replaced by guilt and shame. He slid down the shower wall till he was sitting on the floor, the water cascading down on him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and put his chin on them.

 

'What have I done?' he asked himself and burst into tears, hearty sobs that racked his chest as he thought about what he had just done to Harry. It all came flooding back as if he was waking up from a horrible nightmare only to realize that it was all real. He realized then what he had done to Harry all because he had told him that he loved him.

 

'What have I done?' he sobbed loudly. 'What have I done to you? Oh my God what have I done to you?' He closed his eyes tightly shut as he heard Harry in his mind crying and screaming and begging him to stop, that he was hurting him but he just kept on going and going and going because he had been dragged again into his dark past and Harry had paid for it because Harry dared to tell him that he loved him! Louis just sat there under the shower, crying his heart out, feeling his heartbreaking in his chest until the water ran cold and when it was freezing, he turned it off yet he remained sitting there in the shower shivering, his teeth chattering knowing that there was no way back from this. Harry was gone. Harry was no more.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry stirred in bed, trying not to move his body too much. He hardly slept a wink, only drifting in and out of sleep occasionally only to wake up startled, realizing what had happened to him. After Jarvis had come down to the basement and undid his cuffs, Harry had collapsed on to the carpet unable to move. Jarvis had helped him up and Harry had cried out due to the pain in his body. Cum and blood were seeping down the back of his thighs all the way to his ankles and when he tried to walk, a severe burning pain shot up his ass making him gasp.

 

Harry had seen the way Jarvis had looked at him. A look of shock and horror mixed with pity. Jarvis had taken his time patiently as Harry tried to lift one foot in front of the other to make it up the stairs, crying out loud with every step he took, not to mention feeling embarrassed that he was naked and bleeding with cum seeping out of him while this man knew what had happened down here. But Jarvis was kind and gentle with him, encouraging him all the while telling him that he had him and he won't let him fall and that once he got to bed he will feel better which was a complete lie because Harry felt like he had been run over by an eighteen wheeler and had a hot poker shoved up his ass.

 

When they finally got to the guest bedroom, Jarvis took him into the bathroom and filled up the bath with hot water, adding salt to the water, explaining to Harry that salt helped to disinfect and heal wounds. Harry didn't know what wounds Jarvis was referring to until Jarvis brought him a mirror and Harry could see that some of the welts on his bum and back of the thighs were oozing blood. The leather had bit so hard into the flesh that at some points it had broken the skin.

 

Harry stood there and couldn't believe what had just happened. So Louis was into this stuff? Is this what he did? What he enjoyed? He enjoyed beating and raping people? Harry had heard about these kinks and fetishes but this type of thing was different. There was an anger in Louis so deep for him to take it out like this. Pain coursed through Harry's body and he cried silently, his body shivering and trembling from cold and shock.

 

Jarvis had helped him into the hot water and when he sat down Harry nearly screamed because his wounds burned and his asshole felt torn apart. The water began turning pink and Harry cried harder. He cried because he was in pain and he cried for what Louis had done to him. But he couldn't really blame him could he? He had asked him, no insisted that Louis show him his true self and whatever dark torment possessed Louis, he had taken it out on Harry.

 

Jarvis had comforted him the best he could and when he was done with his bath, he had helped him into bed, suggesting he sleep naked as clothes would only stick to his wounds. He had given Harry a chamomile tea to calm him and some paracetamol to help with the pain and had sat with Harry until he fell asleep. Which wasn't too much. One time he woke up screaming for Louis to stop and Jarvis was there to calm him down and give him some more paracetamol for the pain.

 

This time, when he finally gave up on sleep altogether, Jarvis wasn't there. The room was empty and Harry could tell that it was still early morning from the weak light filtering in through the open curtains. He tried to sit up but his body was in too much pain. Every time he moved, his ass burned so badly and ached so much. Not to mention the belt hits! Harry buried his face in the pillow and cried again. He knew he loved Louis and it made all this that much harder.

 

They say when you love someone you accept them as they are with all their faults and scars and baggage and from what Harry had seen so far, Louis had a lot even though Harry knew nothing as to what led Louis to act this way. He knew he couldn't unlove Louis because of this. If this was Louis' way of dealing with his demons, then Harry knew he had to help him fight them off.

 

He gently sat up, pain wrecking his body. For a minute he thought he was going to throw up from the throbbing of the wounds. Each lash on his body and inside his ass seemed like to have a heart of its own, each beating and pounding. Tears flowed down from Harry's eyes as he finally stood up on wobbly feet. He held on to the furniture as he took small steps towards the chest of drawers across the room. Each step he took, sent jolts of pain all over. When he made it to the chest of drawers, sweating and panting, he opened it and pulled out a pair of sweatpants, not bothering with underwear as he knew he couldn't have tight boxers against his sore skin. With much force and a struggle he managed to put the sweatpants on, hissing and crying as the material brushed over the back of his legs and bum.

 

He opened the door of the guestroom and hobbled out onto the landing, one hand supporting him against the wall. It took great effort to walk and it was making him feel dizzy and sick. As he reached the top of the stairs, he grabbed on to the banister and commenced to slowly climb down the steps one step at a time. He had to stop every now and then, panting and sweating, the pain making him see double. Half way down the stairs, Jarvis saw him struggling.

 

'Sir!' he exclaimed as he ran towards him, catching him just as Harry's knees buckled. He let out a strangled sob of pain. 'You should be in bed Sir. You need to heal.' Harry gave him a weak smile.

 

'Just Harry Jarvis please,' he told him in a low voice. 'Please help me to the kitchen.' Jarvis nodded and helped him the rest of the way to the kitchen. When Mrs. Davis saw him, she let out a shocked gasp, covering her mouth in horror at the sight of Harry.

 

'Oh dear God what has happened to you?' she asked him as she hurried over to help Jarvis. 'Bring him in here Jarvis!' she fussed. When they got to the breakfast bar she pulled out a stool for Harry but Jarvis shook his head and Mrs. Davis immediately understood what had happened and she choked back a sob but her eyes filled with tears as she stroked Harry's hair.

 

'Do you want breakfast love?' she asked him tenderly. Harry knew he couldn't sit down even though his legs were getting tired. He just clutched on to the breakfast bar.

 

'Just some tea Judy please and some pain killers if its not too much trouble,' Harry told her trying his best to look brave but he couldn't help the pain that was etched on his face. Mrs. Davis nodded and went into the kitchen to make him a hot mug of tea and get him some pain killers. Harry leaned into the counter and took in a few deep breaths trying hard not to pass out from the pain. Just then Louis entered the kitchen and Harry wanted nothing more than to pass out right there and then, to just lose consciousness.

 

Louis halted in his step for a fraction, his eyes zeroing in on Harry and the pitiful state his was in. He wasn't expecting him to be here.

 

Proud of your handiwork?

 

Louis' heart felt heavy when he saw how pale Harry looked, standing there leaning on the counter, his hair plastered to his face and neck from how much he was sweating. Louis knew there was no fucking way in hell that Harry could sit down and that if he did, it would be agony. Still, he cleared his throat and walked into the kitchen trying not to take notice of Harry, pulled out a stool and sat down. He took the paper off the counter and opened it concentrating on the words but not really seeing the print because his mind was on Harry.

 

Such a cold son of a bitch. Can't even bare to look at him can you? You should be fucking apologizing and holding him not ignoring him.

 

Louis swallowed and ignored his subconscious because he knew that if he looked at Harry again, he would burst into tears and he would be damned if he let that happen. Guilt was eating him up inside enough and he knew there was no way to make up for what he had done. It was a battle between guilt and pride and pride won out hands down!

 

'Louis,' Harry croaked out trying his hardest to hide his pain in front of Louis. Louis barely just looked at him and it made his heart hurt. 'Can we talk?' Harry asked him his voice just a mere whisper.

 

'There's nothing to talk about,' Louis snapped and went back to his newspaper.

 

He wants to talk to you asshole. Acknowledge him! Its the least you can do after beating the fuck out of him and fucking him raw!

 

'Please?' Harry pleaded. Louis slammed the newspaper down on the counter, making Harry jump and take an involuntary step backwards.

 

He's terrified of you. Don't scare him further.

 

Louis stared ahead, refusing to look at Harry. When he came into the kitchen, he didn't miss the way Harry's fingers were curled around the edges of the counter, his knuckles white from holding on too tightly to hold himself up or the way his voice thickened when he spoke in an attempt to disguise his pain. For his benefit! Louis knew Harry was putting on the brave act for the sole purpose of his benefit, to not make him feel bad for what had happened and that made Louis not only hate himself but detest himself so much. Harry stayed rooted to the spot not wanting to move so that Louis wouldn't see how his body ached.

 

'Louis about last night,' Harry rasped slowly and Louis clenched his fingers into fists. Why was he fucking talking about it? He never talked with his boys about what had happened in the basement the morning after so why was he even fucking bringing it up? He never saw what he did to them or the shape they were in when they left his house. He never found them in his face in the morning, having to be confronted with his actions from the previous night. 'I understand,' Harry whispered and those two words pushed all the wrong buttons inside of Louis and tipped him over the edge. He turned on Harry,full of rage.

 

'You understand what exactly?' Louis yelled and he immediately saw Harry visibly shrink away from him.

 

He's terrified of you.

 

Harry gulped clearly nervous. 'A-about w-what you did. To me. I-I get it. Many people......'

 

'You don't understand shit!' Louis roared slamming his hand down on the counter, making Harry take a few sudden steps back which resulted in Harry moaning in pain at his sudden movements. He quickly shut his mouth trying to swallow his painful sobs down but Louis had heard and seen his face twist in agony. 'Look at you!' Louis screamed.

 

'I-it's fine. I'll h-heal,' Harry stammered not wanting to make Louis mad. He just wanted to reassure him that he was okay.

 

What the fuck? He is actually okay with this?

 

Louis remained immobile standing there not believing the words Harry just said to him. Was it even possible that he still wanted to be with him despite all this?

 

Now is the time to show that you are not HIM. Set him free. You're not good for him. You wrecked him far too bad. Be a man. Unlike HIM. Don't be selfish and keep him with you just to torture him because that is exactly what you will do if you keep him here.

 

Louis knew what he had to do. 'Its not about you healing,' he said angrily. 'You're not cut out for this. You are not one of my boys. You are weak and needy and you fucking cling to me like a God damn leech sucking the life out of me.' Louis watched Harry's face change into a look of shocked horror at his words and he knew that he was hitting him right where it hurt but he had to keep on going. There was no turning back now. In order for Harry to be safe and happy and away from him, he had to keep on going.

 

'Your friends were right and you should've listened to them. You had one thing I wanted and that I never had before. You were so fucking easy to seduce and blind you with sweet words. You literally melted like a pile of snow in my hands. You were so fucking easy to give up your virginity to me.'

 

'No,' Harry whimpered as tears fell down from his eyes, refusing to believe Louis' words. 'No.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Don't delude yourself. Did you think you're my type? Did you honestly think for one second that I would fall for a broke student who's struggling in life?' Louis laughed. 'Oh my God you totally did! Sweet words are nothing and I'm quite good with them. You are nothing like my boys. Nothing. You can't handle what I give. Look at you! You're pitiful.'

 

'Louis please,' Harry croaked out now fully sobbing. 'P-please d-don't send me a-away. Please. I meant it when I said I love you. I don't care about this. J-just give me t-time to adjust. I-I will get better at it I-I promise. It j-just came as a surprise. I-I wasn't ready but I-I will be next time Louis I-I promise. Maybe...maybe just go a little easier on me till I-I get used to it but I will I-I promise.'

 

Look what you've done to him. He's so in love with you he's ready to get used to you beating the shit out of him! Be tough. Be a man. Don't be like HIM. Let him go.

 

Louis laughed again.

 

'Can you stop embarrassing yourself! I don't want you! I totally feel nothing for you so stop imagining things in your stupid head. You are not cut out for my tastes. The love you say you feel for me, doesn't phase me at all. It's meaningless to me. So just fucking leave already. I can hardly stand to look at you. You portray everything that is weak in a human being and I can't stand weakness. Now, do me a favor and get lost. I want you to get the fuck out of my house and don't ever let me see your face again. Don't ever call me or come anywhere near my house or office unless you want me to get a restraining order. Got it?' Harry was crying so hard by now that he couldn't reply. He only nodded.

 

'Jarvis!!' Louis yelled and Jarvis was quick to enter the kitchen as if he had just been inside the door way waiting to be called up on.

 

'Yes Sir?'

 

'Get Angus to take him home and make sure he is never allowed on the premises again,' Louis ordered.

 

'Yes Sir,' Jarvis replied with a small bow towards Louis. Then he turned a sympathetic look at Harry who was crying uncontrollably. 'Come along Sir,' he told him kindly, taking him by the arm to help him walk, fully knowing that Harry couldn't walk unaided. Harry let him help him because he felt weak and as Jarvis led him out, Harry looked back at Louis.

 

'Louis please. Don't! Don't send me away. Give me a chance. Please,' he sobbed but Louis just sat there, with his back to him, listening to his sobbing and heart wrenching cries until it faded and the house was silent again.

 

Jarvis led Harry out to the waiting car and instructed Angus to take Harry home. Harry gingerly got into the car unable to sit properly, crying his heart out as Angus pulled out of Louis' driveway. Angus passed him a box of tissues.

 

'Thank you,' Harry croaked out. 'Angus please take me to the hospital.' And Angus simply nodded.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis sat stock still in his silent kitchen. He knew he had been harsh and probably had broken Harry's heart after having broken his body but it was necessary. After he had seen him when he came into the kitchen this morning, he knew that he had to keep Harry away from him at all cost. He could not and would not forgive himself for what he had done to him. There was no forgiveness for an animal like him and the fact that Harry still wanted him and wanted to get used to being beaten by him, only made Louis feel even more guilty and disgusted by himself. No, he had to let him go. Get away from his dark twisted world. Harry was pure and innocent and too good. He deserved the light and love not this and if being harsh with him and breaking his heart would achieve that, then so be it. Hearts heal and Louis was sure that Harry would find someone who would love him the way he deserved to be loved.

 

Mrs. Davis walked into the kitchen and Louis could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy and she dabbed at her nose with a white handkerchief.

 

'Do you want breakfast Sir?' she asked him, her tone clipped and Louis could understand her detachment and how she probably resented him because she loved Harry, she doted on him like a son.

 

'Just coffee Judy please,' Louis told her dryly as he continued to stare at the newspaper not really reading anything but giving him something to do other than see Judy's hard stare on him. He cared for her and her judgement of him effected him more than he cared to admit to. 'Is there anything else Judy?' Louis asked her when she did not move to go make his coffee. Mrs. Davis straightened her back and shoulders.

 

'In fact there is,' she told him. Louis put the newspaper down and looked at her and the look in her eyes cut him deep inside.

 

'What is it?' he asked her.

 

'May I speak frankly?' Mrs. Davis asked and Louis simply nodded. Mrs. Davis took in a deep breath. 'How could you? To him of all people? In all the years I have worked for you, I have seen men leave this house and none of them have left it battered the way Harry left it today. And in all the years I have been in this house, I have never seen you with a sparkle in your eyes or a gait to your step or simply being happy until Harry came into your life. Do you have any idea how you have been these past few weeks since Harry entered your life and you had the audacity to break him that way? He brought you love and happiness and you beat him for it because you don't know how to handle it. That boy is the joy you have been missing your entire life and you made him pay for it. I have watched you being unhappy despite having all the wealth in the world. You live alone. You trust no one. You let nobody in. You have no close friends. Nothing. That beautiful boy has changed you so much for the better and you didn't even realize it but we have and it was such a pleasure to see you happy for a change, to see you investing in someone, to see you smile. I prayed that you will find the happiness you lacked in Harry because you deserve it. Everyone deserves to be happy no matter how bad they think they are. You broke him in so many ways and he loves you still. That's something very special and you should really think about it. I will go and make your coffee now Sir.'

 

Louis just sat there looking at the empty space where Mrs. Davis had been. Had it been that obvious to all those around him that he was happy? Did he really deserve to be happy?

 

Not now you don't. Not after you made such a huge mess of things. But you can fix them by letting Harry live his life. Away from you and the destruction you bring. If you want to make amends, gift him the gift of freedom from your toxic self.

 

Louis felt a pain in his chest that made him breathless. It felt as if his ribs where trying to push their way outwards of his chest. He felt breathless and sick to the stomach. Had he really had happiness? The happiness that he had so long hoped for? He had never felt anything before like the emotions he had felt with Harry. Was that why he beat him worse than the others? Because Harry had made him feel? Because Harry had touched his heart and made him vulnerable? Was it because Harry made him weak inside and he could not abide weakness? Was it because Harry had made him think that it was possible for him to fall in love and need someone? Was it because Harry had made him want to plan a future and he could see all the possibilities of a serious life long relationship with him? Had he beaten him so bad because Harry had made him desire a life he never thought was possible for him and deep down inside, he wanted it? Deep down inside, Louis knew that Harry made him want it all, commitment, marriage, kids, even a dog and a family car and that confused him and scared him the shit out of him.

 

Louis felt it deep inside of him now. The loss. The separation. The emptiness that Harry had left behind. It was tearing him apart inside knowing there will be no more text messages with smiley emojis and stupid phone calls, dinners and dates. No more sitting here at this breakfast bar listening to Harry talking while he tried to read the newspaper pretending to be annoyed with him but secretly fonding over him like an idiot. No more excited conversations from an excited Harry telling him about his day, making him forget all his stress at work. No more seeing the dorky boy with the mile long legs and curly messy hair, smiling big at him and popping his dimples, doting over him, adoring him, loving him. No more coming home to find Harry doing his homework on the breakfast bar, books and papers everywhere, with a pen stuck in his mouth as he laughed with Mrs. Davis........Louis slammed his fist down hard on the counter top. He pushed his stool back making it topple to the tiled floor with a loud clang and made his way upstairs into his room, where for the second time, he got into the shower and cried his heart out.

 

Yes cry it out. But at least you know you did the right thing by letting him go.

 

 

X

 

 

Angus stopped the car in front of the emergency unit at The Royal London Hospital in Whitechapel. He turned in his seat and looked at Harry who looked as if he was ready to pass out.

 

'Do you want me to go in with you?' Angus asked him kindly, his voice full of compassion. Harry gave him a weak smile.

 

'No thank you. I will be fine. I just need them to give me something stronger than paracetamol for the pain,' Harry told him in a soft voice. Angus nodded.

 

'Would you like me to wait for you so I can drive you home?' Harry gently leaned over and squeezed Angus' shoulder.

 

'No. Go Angus. He will need you to take him to work soon and I don't want you getting in trouble for being late. I will call one of my friends when I'm done here.' Angus nodded at him again as Harry began getting out of his car.

 

'I am so sorry this happened to you,' Angus told him. 'You are a very kind boy. You didn't deserve this.' Harry smiled at him again.

 

'I am pretty sure that whatever drives Louis to do this, he didn't deserve it either. Bye Angus. It was nice knowing you.'

 

'Bye Harry,' Angus told him as he watched him wince as he got out of the car and waddled towards the Emergency entrance. When he had gone in, Angus pulled out and headed towards home. Harry entered the emergency unit trying to hold on to anything that could help him stay up. A nurse saw him and came rushing over to him.

 

'Sir are you hurt?' he asked him immediately scanning Harry to check for any sign of trauma. Harry paused holding onto the reception desk.

 

'I need a doctor,' Harry told him. 'Urgent.' He really needed some relief from the pain. The nurse nodded.

 

'I will get you a wheelchair,' the nurse told him but Harry was already shaking his head.

 

'No please. It-its kinda painful f-for me t-to sit down,' Harry explained feeling his cheeks burn up at having to explain his pain.The nurse nodded and helped him to an empty examination room.

 

'I'll find the on call doctor and will be back soon okay. In the meantime please fill in these papers. Its procedure.' He handed Harry a few sheets and a pen. The nurse left and Harry began filling out the papers. He knew he should've called Niall or Liam because he could use the help but he didn't want to be asked questions he couldn't answer. They will panic and worry and he wasn't ready to face them just yet. He will make up a story to tell them after the doctor will see to him then call one of them to come pick him up. He had hardly finished filling out the forms when the door opened and a doctor in blue scrubs and a white lab coat entered the room followed by the nurse who had brought him into this room, possibly to assist the doctor. The doctor was fairly young maybe in his mid-thirties, with short dark hair, a goatee and blue eyes that made Harry inwardly groan and curse his luck that a young male doctor had to see to him! The doctor smiled at him, flashing perfect white teeth and extended his hand.

 

'I'm Dr. Blake. Craig Blake.' Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I'm Harry,' he said taking his hand and shaking it. The doctor looked at him.

 

'You look like you're in pain. What's the problem Harry?' Dr. Blake asked him, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the counter behind him. Harry felt flustered. How was he going to explain his pains?

 

'I um I just um need some pain killers,' Harry told him hoping that would be enough and avoid an examination. Dr. Blake raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

 

'You need pain killers for?' Harry sighed heavily and looked down at his shoes realizing there was no way out of this. The doctor realized that Harry was uncomfortable and took a few steps towards him, standing a few inches taller than Harry.

 

'Harry,' he said gently, 'I can see that you are in immense pain and that you need painkillers and I agree with you but I cannot give out pain killers without knowing and checking the pain so how about you tell me where it hurts so we can sort it out huh?' Harry bit his lower lip hard.

 

'Its my um bum,' he said quietly feeling very embarrassed.

 

'Okay,' Dr. Blake said. 'Hemorrhoids?' Harry shook his head, avoiding eye contact with the doctor.

 

'A-and I-I can't s-seem to pee,' Harry told him blushing further.

 

'Alright how about we take a look then? Can you please get on the examination table so I can see what's wrong with you?' Once again Harry bit his bottom lip and shook his head.

 

'I-I can't get on it. H-hurts too much to move,' he whispered.

 

'It's okay Harry,' Dr Blake reassured him seeing his distress. 'How about you change into a hospital gown first?' Harry nodded and walked to the adjoining bathroom to change. When he walked back out, he held the back of the gown because it was open. Dr. Blake had a clip board in his hands and was writing down on a sheet of paper. When he heard Harry enter the room, he put it down and walked towards him.

 

'Shall we begin?' he asked him and Harry nodded. He had no other choice even though he didn't much like this one. 'Stand by the table and just bend forward a little placing your chest flat on the bed. Can you do that or is it too painful?' Harry could do that but bending forwards on a bed brought back to him a very bad recent memory. He gulped and bent forward, knowing he was exposing himself. He felt the doctor's hands brush aside the gown and gasp loudly.

 

'Oh my God!' Dr. Blake exclaimed and Harry closed his eyes tightly shut. He knew that the doctor knew that his wounds where done by a belt. Dr. Blake swallowed hard and looked at the nurse who was standing there, his mouth open. 'Pass me a pair of gloves please,' he told him then turned to Harry. 'Harry does it only hurt on the outside or do you feel pain on the inside too?' Harry took a moment to reply.

 

'Inside too,' he said quietly. The doctor snapped the gloves on.

 

'I am going to have to check you internally. You are bleeding,' he explained. Harry quickly shook his head.

 

'No. It hurts too much,' he said brokenly.

 

'I know but I have to if we are going to make you feel better,' the doctor said then paused. 'Harry I need to ask you a question and I need you to reply to me honestly. Where you sexually assaulted?' Harry knew that he would be asked this question.

 

'No,' he said quietly. The doctor and the nurse exchanged a look.

 

'Harry you can report this. You can report the person that hurt you,' Dr. Blake explained. Harry grit his teeth as he felt the tears burn in his eyes.

 

'I wasn't raped,' he said slowly.

 

But you were.

 

Harry refused to think it. Louis hadn't raped him. They had had sex before. It was just a different type of sex. A rougher version.

 

Tied and held down and still getting fucked after saying no and stop repeatedly? I beg to differ.

 

'I wasn't raped,' he repeated again more to convince himself.

 

'Okay,' Dr. Blake told him though what he was seeing so far told a whole different story. 'Harry I need you to relax and take a deep breath for me. On the count of three I am going to examine you internally. It might hurt just a little but please bear with me. Ready?' Harry nodded and gripped the edges of the examination table hard bracing himself. He knew what was coming and his body wasn't ready for it.

 

'One. Two. Three.'

 

Dr. Blake ever so gently inserted his index finger all the way inside Harry and he heard him cry out in pain.

 

'Its okay Harry relax. Relax your muscles,' the doctor assured him. 'Breathe deeply we're almost done.' But Harry was sobbing in pain as his torn asshole was abused again. He was feeling the burn all over again as the doctor examined him internally.

 

'Please stop,' Harry cried. 'Stop! Stop!'

 

'Its okay Harry. It's alright. We're done. We're done.' The doctor pulled out and removed his gloves, helping Harry to stand up. Dr. Blake looked at Harry as he walked over to the sink and washed his hands, dried them and walked back handing Harry a tissue to wipe his eyes.

 

'Harry, you have bleeding on the inside. That's the result of an anal fissure. You have a bad tear in the anus and anal canal. These fissures are caused by trauma Harry.' Dr. Blake stopped and analyzed Harry's face for any reaction but he just kept on looking down not wanting to meet the doctor's eyes. 'Sometimes these fissures are caused by rough and forced penetration.........'

 

'I-I wasn't....' Harry stammered but couldn't continue.

 

'Harry if someone did this to you without your consent which by the looks of it, you didn't give your consent to, you have to report it. I have seen the ligature marks on your wrists and ankles and your prostate is so swollen no wonder you can't urinate. It's very bruised and swollen and it might get infected. The person that did this to you.....' Harry looked at him.

 

'I gave my consent,' he said quietly but Dr. Blake just shook his head, clearly not believing him.

 

'Okay if you say so but my examination will be on record and I have to put down my findings. You will be in pain for a good few days and let's hope that the fissure will heal with the treatment I am going to give you. If it won't heal, you will need a small surgery to fix it. We need to keep it free from infection. The treatment I will give you has some anesthesia in the cream that you will insert inside so it will help give you relief from the pain. I will also prescribe pain killers for the rest of your injuries. Drink plenty of fluids. I will give you something to reduce the swelling and bruising in your prostate. Hopefully it will reduce the swelling quickly and you will be able to relieve yourself. And rest. As much as you can. Your body needs it to heal.'

 

'Thank you,' Harry told him quietly. The doctor nodded.

 

'I will go and get your prescriptions.' When he left, Harry exhaled slowly and got dressed. When Dr. Blake came back he was by himself. He handed Harry the prescriptions.

 

'Harry I wrote my personal number down for you in case you need anything. I know what I saw even though you deny it. Apart from being a doctor I work with abused people and I've seen things. Men get raped too and I know its embarrassing......'

 

'It-it wasn't like that,' Harry said trying to justify Louis' actions. He didn't want to get him in any trouble. Dr. Blake sighed in defeat.

 

'Do you have anyone who can come and get you?' he asked him kindly. Harry looked at him and nearly burst into tears at the kind, compassionate look the doctor was giving him.

 

'I-I'll see if one of my friends can pick me up.'

 

'Look, my shift ends in half an hour. How about I get you a tea or coffee and I will drive you home yeah?' he asked him. Harry hesitated for a minute and Dr. Blake picked up on his hesitation. He put his hand on his shoulder. 'I only want to help you and be your friend. I'll even get your prescriptions for you too if you want.' Dr. Blake smiled at him kindly and Harry felt a knot in his throat.

 

'Okay thank you,' Harry told him.

 

'Great. You can wait for me out in the waiting room yeah. It won't belong. I'll get you a hot drink.' Dr. Blake opened the examination room door and called for a wheelchair. Before Harry could protest, he turned to face him. 'Yes I know it hurts but you need to sit. You are doing your legs and back no good by standing and we don't want to complicate your situation. As soon as you get home, you can lie down and rest.' An orderly brought the wheelchair and ever so gently, Harry eased himself down and winced but also sighed in relief at getting off his feet. He was getting awfully tired from standing. Dr.Blake instructed the orderly to wheel the patient out into the waiting room and get him a hot drink.

 

After about twenty minutes Dr. Blake came back again, this time out of his scrubs and white lab coat wearing jeans, a light blue button up and a gray pea coat. Harry looked at him and gave him a smile.

 

'Thank you Dr......'

 

'Craig. I'm officially off work now so please just call me Craig. Shall we get you home then?' Harry nodded and Craig wheeled him out of the emergency and into the parking lot to his car. He helped Harry off the chair and gently into the car, buckling up his seat belt. Craig got in the driver's seat and looked at Harry to see him breathing fast, his eyes screwed up tightly shut.

 

'Hey hey breathe slowly yeah. I know its the pain but breathe slowly.' Craig reached over and took his pulse. 'Your heart rate is very fast. You need to calm down Harry. Breathe in and out slowly and don't hold your body too tense. You need to allow constant blood flow to your pained areas and if you hold your muscles so tightly you will restrict that.' As the pain ebbed away a little, Harry's breathing returned to normal. When Craig saw that he had relaxed a little, he pulled out of the parking lot asking Harry for directions towards his house. As Craig maneuvered through the London mid-morning traffic he made small talk with Harry, trying to keep his mind off his injuries. On the way he stopped at Boots Chemist to get him his pills and medications.

 

Finally, Craig stopped the car in front of Harry's flat in Edgware Road.

 

'Thank you so much,' Harry told him.

 

'Do you need help making it up the stairs?' Craig asked him kindly.

 

'I think I can manage. Its only one floor up. I'll go slowly.' Craig smiled at him.

 

'Okay. Harry if you ever need anything, you have my number. Call anytime. I'm a doctor. I'm always on call even when I'm not.' Harry nodded at him and made to get out but Craig placed a hand on his arm. 'Are you safe?' he asked him. 'I mean what happened to you, there is no chance the person could....'

 

'No. There's no chance,' Harry told him sadly. He could feel his eyes tear up but swallowed back a sob. Craig squeezed his arm.

 

'Unfortunately, your heart and mind will take longer to heal than your body. Be strong Harry. You have a friend in me if you ever need one.' Harry was so emotionally over come that he wanted to hug Craig so badly but he knew he had just met the guy and Louis had said he was needy and stuck to people like a leech and he didn't want to give Craig that impression of him.

 

'Thank you,' he said again and ever so slowly got out of the car. He walked in small steps to his apartment and opened the door. Craig waited until he was inside before he drove off.

 

 

X

 

 

'Jarvis where is Angus?' Mrs. Davis asked the butler.

 

'He is near the garage washing the cars,' Jarvis informed her. Mrs.Davis put her hands on her waist.

 

'Well tell him he needs to drive me to Harry's home. He's been there before and I need him to take me there.' Jarvis scratched his head.

 

'Judy, the boss won't like it,' he warned her.

 

'Right now I don't really care what he likes or doesn't like! That poor boy cannot fend for himself in the state he is in and Angus did tell me that he drove him straight to the hospital. I made food for him and I need to go and see if he is okay.' Jarvis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'I felt sorry for the boy, the way I found him last night. I mean, I take care of them afterwards but I've never seen one hurt as bad as Harry.' Judy huffed.

 

'Someone should take a belt to him. See how he likes it,' she complained. 'Poor boy! He is such a sweetheart.' Jarvis nodded agreeing with her.

 

'For a while I thought that Mr. Tomlinson might have found someone he could settle down with. Nobody has ever stayed longer than a week or two the most. Or slept in this house. He was doing so well and doing so many new things with Harry. So many first times. I mean this was the longest time he stayed with someone. I don't understand,' Jarvis said. Judy patted his arm.

 

'Its quite simple really Jarvis dear. Mr. Tomlinson fell in love and he is scared for whatever reason that haunts him. Something bad must've made him this way and though my heart goes out to him, I am very upset with him for what he did to poor Harry. Now Jarvis, please inform Angus to take me to Harry. I am going to take care of him whether Mr. Tomlinson approves or not!' Jarvis smiled at her and went off to tell Angus. Ten minutes later, Judy was sat in the back of the Bentley with her wicker picnic basket as Angus drove her to Harry's flat.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry was lying on his side on the couch. The pain wasn't too bad if he laid still. After getting home from the hospital, he took a hot bath and applied the treatment as Craig had instructed him to do. Then he made a cup of tea and took the pain killers which somehow eased the pain off a little more. Now he just lay on the sofa with the telly turned on but no sound. He wasn't actually paying any attention to what was on the screen. He just stared at it seeing nothing.

 

His mind was active. And cruel. It played back to him in HD all that happened in the past 24 hours. Yes, his body hurt but his heart hurt more. The words Louis had said to him. How it was true that he had only used him. His friends had been right all along but he had been blinded by the love he felt for the man. From the very first time he had met him, Harry had felt something towards the man and it had only grown but Louis did not love him. Louis had only used him as a toy. They had all been right. They had warned him but he hadn't listened. He was nothing but a naive little boy who dreamed and believed in true love and happy ever afters.

 

The buzzer to the flat brought him out of his miserable thoughts. He hated that he had to move. He was comfortable and the pain had lessened but Harry sat up and ever so slowly walked towards the door, wiping away a few tears that had fallen from his tired eyes. He pressed the intercom.

 

'Yes?' he asked.

 

'Harry. Its me Judy. Can I come up dear?' Harry was greatly surprised to hear her voice and quickly pressed the buzzer to open the flat door.

 

'Of course,' he told her as he opened the door to the flat. He stepped back holding the door open for her and soon Judy was up on the landing.

 

'Harry dear how are you?' she asked him as she stepped inside his flat closing the door behind her.

 

'I'm okay,' he told her. Judy tsked.

 

'You don't have to lie to me Harry. You do not look okay. I know you went to hospital. Was it that bad?' Harry shrugged as he walked back to the sofa and sat down ever so carefully. Judy sat beside him and saw the array of pills and other medications on the table.

 

'I'll be fine,' he told her giving her a small smile. Judy squeezed his hand tightly.

 

'He's a fool,' she told him. Harry bit down on his bottom lip.

 

'I'm sure he has his demons and they hurt him too,' he told her softly. Harry really didn't want to talk about Louis. He wanted to keep that to himself because if he talked about him, he would break further and this was his private break down and he wanted to keep it that way. Judy must have notice his reluctance to talk about Louis.

 

'I brought you some food,' she told him. 'And don't tell me you are not hungry. You skipped breakfast and have you eaten anything since?' she asked him. Harry shook his head. 'I thought so. Now let me go into the kitchen. I will be right back.' Harry leaned back and relaxed. Judy came back with a bowl of soup which she handed to Harry.

 

'Eat. You need to heal,' she told him and Harry smiled up at her because she reminded him so much of his mother when he used to be sick and how she doted and fussed over him. Harry ate the soup and didn't realize how hungry he was until he started eating. After he was done with the soup, Judy brought him a piece of chicken with some asparagus and mash potatoes. Harry downed the food.

 

'Thank you so much Judy,' he told her. 'That was amazing.' Judy patted his knee.

 

'I will come tomorrow after he leaves for work and bring you breakfast and food for the day. You need to get your strength backup,' she told him as she picked up the plates.

 

'H-he doesn't know you came here does he?' Harry asked her quietly.

 

'Don't you worry yourself about him. I can handle him. He did this to you so he can't expect me not to take care of you. I'll make you a cuppa then I'll be off. I still have a lot to do before the little devil gets home.' Judy made him tea and picked up the dinner things packing them back into her bag.

 

'Will you be alright? Do you need anything else love?' she asked him kindly.

 

'I'm fine Judy. I will be alright,' Harry assured her.

 

'You will not forget to take your medications will you?' Harry smiled at her.

 

'I won't. I promise.' Judy bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead which Harry basked in.

 

'I will see you tomorrow then. Take care of yourself alright?' Harry nodded and no sooner had Judy closed the door behind her, he burst into tears, all the emotions of the day finally erupting inside of him and coming forth. And Harry let it.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis arrived home later than usual and Judy could tell that he had been drinking. He wasn't drunk but he wasn't entirely sober either. He sat at the breakfast bar and gave her a small smile as he undid his tie.

 

'Smells good,' he told her.

 

'Hard day?' she asked him.

 

'The usual,' he replied. Judy could see that he was sad but she knew he would never talk about it.

 

'Before you hear about it, I wanted to tell you that I made Angus take me to Harry's house,' she told him straight up and she didn't miss the way Louis' eyes widened a fraction in surprise and how he clenched his jaw tightly but kept his cool facade.

 

'Why?' he asked her. 'You work for me not him and I won't have you.....'

 

'Yes I work for you but you will not forbid me to go to him,' Judy told him a little sternly. 'He went to hospital right after he left here if you must know. He's in a very bad shape and he needs looking after Sir. He needs to eat and the way he's in, he can't fend for himself.' At Judy's words, Louis felt his heart shatter a little bit more but he said nothing.

 

'As long as you do your job here,' he told her sharply.

 

'Just informing you that I will be visiting him until he is better and back on his feet again. Sir.' Louis knew that Judy was upset with him and she was the only one of his staff who dared to stand up to him. But then again, he never saw Judy as staff. Judy was a constant in his life, a mother figure and Louis felt an affinity towards her.

 

'I'll have my dinner now. I'm expecting company,' he informed her and Judy felt angry that he was having another man over after what he had done to Harry. He didn't even bother ask how Harry was doing! Or what his injuries were! She was really tempted to take a belt to his own ass!

 

'Yes Sir,' she simply told him and went to get him his food. Louis ran a hand through his hair and then rubbed his face. Harry had been to hospital? How fucking bad was he? He wanted to ask Judy but he knew that Harry was no longer his responsibility. Harry was now gone. Louis stared ahead and once again switched off his emotions. They will no longer be used. Now, all he had to look forward to was a nice dinner, a few drinks and time with Claude and Patrick in his basement. This was his life. He will definitely not be thinking about the curly haired boy with the dimpled smile that greeted him when he came home after work, wearing sweat pants and a tee shirt, skidding into the hall in just his fuzzy socks and wrapping his long arms around him whispering "welcome home I missed you". He will definitely not be thinking about having dinner with said curly haired boy then cuddling on the couch watching some shit romantic comedy which led to making sweet love in the guest bedroom only to wake up spooning said boy, who was all warm and soft as he yawned and stretched in his arms like a baby deer, whispering "good morning" in his deep husky morning voice, greeting the day with a sleepy happy smile.

 

No, when Louis goes down into that basement tonight, he will definitely not be thinking about the curly haired dimpled boy that made his way into his heart and stole it.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 12..............


	12. Is There Such A Thing As Redemption?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter for you guys. *WARNING* DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM *IF TRIGGERED DO NOT READ* Thank you ever so much for the comments and kudos and the constant support for ADSOL. I am grateful.   
> All the love  
> M

Is There Such A Thing As Redemption?

 

 

After his session in the basement with two of his boys, Louis lazily climbed the stairs from the basement leading up to the first floor. He felt relaxed yet numb and empty. He felt as if he was on auto pilot, his body just going through the motions. He had taken a belt to his boys and fucked them both but his heart hadn't been in it and they had noticed. He hadn't even hit them that hard! Something inside him had died yet he was still living, crippled by memories that tormented him.

 

The house was silent as he climbed up slowly to the second floor. Nobody was around. Louis never knew loneliness before but now he felt it. It was horrible. He made his way towards his room but stopped in front of the guest bedroom. He rested both his palms and forehead against the door and took a few deep breaths. Louis turned the knob slowly and pushed the door open and walked inside, not even knowing why he was in here in the first place. He didn't know what he expected to find but the empty room with the neatly made bed hit him harder than he would've though possible, intensifying the feeling of loneliness and loss within him.

 

He flipped on the lampshade and closed the door silently behind him. The room was clean and the bed freshly made. Everything was tidy. His boots where under the chair. His white shirt and black pants from yesterday evening draped neatly on the back of the chair. He walked over to the dresser. On the top of it, were his hair ties. He opened the top drawer, fingering his boxers and socks. He closed it and opened the second one. It held some more of his clothes including his white Rolling Stones tee shirt, the ripped one that he obsitnately refused to throw away even though Louis had promised him a brand new one signed by the band members themselves! And had watched his face comically transform into awe as he had realized the Louis knew Mick Jagger!

 

Louis smiled sadly at the memory as he inhaled the t-shirt that still held Harry's scent and the pain in his chest nearly drove him to his knees. He knew that as long as he lived he would never ever forgive himself for what he had done to him. He knew that he had snapped and that he needed to go back to therapy as soon as possible. He could feel that things were going downhill for him. He could feel himself losing control over his emotions, over his mental being, over his heart. And he couldn't allow that. His control and dominance where everything.

 

Louis sighed heavily. Never in his thirty years of life had he ever felt so lonely. He didn't even want to go back to his room. He undressed and got into the shower. He washed his hair with his strawberry shampoo and used his mango and vanilla body wash and the scents brought him back to Louis as if he was in the shower with him. He closed his eyes and imagined him there, laughing, his eyes shining and dimples in his cheeks, happy as he ducked his head under the shower head, his curls reaching way past his shoulders. Louis' heart ached because he had destroyed all that. Single handedly he had destroyed Harry.

 

He turned off the shower and dried himself off. He put on Harry's Rolling Stones t-shirt and climbed into bed, spooning Harry's pillow tightly to his chest. And if he sobbed his heart out into that pillow, nobody had to know.

 

 

X

 

 

Next morning when Louis went down for breakfast, he was back to himself, no trace of the emotional breakdown from last night. Dressed in a black suit and crisp white shirt, his hair quiffed to perfection as always, he entered the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar, picking up the morning's newspaper. His self control was back and what happened last night in that small guest bedroom, would never see the light of day.

 

'Breakfast?' Judy asked him dryly as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him.

 

'Yes please,' Louis told her. He knew that she was still upset with him but he figured that she will get over it. If not, then that was her problem but he was having none of it. Judy eyed him as he continued to read the newspaper and sipping his coffee with not a care in the world while that poor boy was in agony. She went to get his breakfast feeling frustrated with him. She came back with his plate and slammed it down a little too hard on the counter, making Louis look up at her.

 

'Do you have a problem Judy?' Louis asked her. Judy wasn't going to waste this opportunity.

 

'I do,' she told him. Louis folded the newspaper and looked at her.

 

'Fine. Let's hear it then. Let's get this over and done with once and for all.'

 

'I told you Harry went to hospital and that he's in a bad shape and you didn't even bother to ask about him. Didn't even care to ask me what they told him at hospital or how he's doing. And to make matters worse, last night you bring home not one but two men and they walk out of here barely touched while Harry had to be helped out of here after all the horrible things you did to him. Was it not enough what you did to him, you had to break his heart also? I am disappointed in you because I expected better from you. I know you are better than this. I know you have a heart. Please go to him. He's so badly broken.' Judy stopped and kept her pleading eyes on Louis.

 

'Are you done?' he asked her coldly. She nodded. 'I will say this and I will say it one time only. Judy, I respect you like I respected your husband but my life is my business not yours. You don't get to tell me how to act or what to do or what to feel. You are not my mother and even if you were, I would still tell you to stay out of my personal life. You are here to do a job and if what I do upsets you, then by all means you are free to go. I do not wish you to leave but do not ever immerse yourself in my privacy because I will not hesitate to terminate your employment. Are we understood?'

 

'Yes Sir,' she whispered. Louis stood up, abandoning his breakfast having lost all appetite.

 

'I will not be having dinner tonight. I have a date so you can leave early,' Louis told her as he walked towards the foyer to leave for work. Angus was waiting for him, holding the car door open for him. Louis said a good morning and slipped into the back seat. He had to admit that Judy's words rattled him but what did they know? Nobody knew the battles he was fighting inside of him. Judy didn't know that he had let Harry go so he could save him from himself, so that he could be happy and have a better life. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the photos he had of Harry. His favorite one was a selfie of them on top of the Eiffel Tower. Happiness radiated out of Harry. Louis traced his face with his finger then quickly put the phone away.

 

He will make Harry get over him if it was the last thing he did. He will date guys and make sure he gets papped with them. He knew he would end up on Twitter and on the tabloids so Harry would see him with other men for sure. He just had to do everything in his power to make Harry hate him and forget him and move on to better things.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry's phone kept ringing and ringing. He reached out from beneath the blanket and searched blindly on the coffee table for the phone until his fingers finally located it.

 

'Hello,' he mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes. The painkillers had knocked him out cold.

 

'Harry hello how are you?'

 

'Who's this?' Harry mumbled again. He heard a chuckle.

 

'Its Craig from the hospital. Got your number from the forms you filled out yesterday and I just called to check up on you. I hope you don't mind?' Harry's mind felt hazy as he slightly opened his eyes, blinking into the bright apartment.

 

'Oh hey. Hi. Sorry I was sleeping. The um pills.....' He heard laughter on the line.

 

'They knocked you out huh? I gave you some pretty strong pain killers. How are you feeling?'

 

'I'm alright. I think.'

 

'Do you need anything?' Craig asked him.

 

'I don't think so,' Harry told him trying to stretch but not move too much. There was a silent pause on the line.

 

'Do you still ache to move?' Craiga sked him. Harry tested the waters by moving his legs and pain shot up his ass leaving him breathless. 'Harry?'

 

'I-I'm here. Yeah still hurts,' he replied softly. Craig sighed.

 

'Yeah it will be a good few days until the pain starts to subside unfortunately. Would you like me to come see you after my shift? As a doctor I mean?' Craig was quick to amend not wanting Harry to get the wrong idea. 'Or a counselor.' Harry hesitated a little and Craig felt nervous that he had even asked.

 

'Okay,' Harry whispered into the phone. Craig smiled.

 

'Great. My shift ends at 3 pm. See you later Harry. Take care.'

 

'See you,' Harry told him and hung up. Harry lay still on the couch not daring to move again. He went through his phone hoping for a text from Louis but there was nothing. His mind told him to stop expecting Louis to contact him. He had been clear about his feelings towards Harry. He didn't feel anything towards him and he had only used him for his own intentions but his heart...his heart still held on to Louis. Held on to the hope that Louis would come back for him and apologize and take him back and Harry knew he would take him back in a heartbeat. He really didn't care about Louis' "needs". Harry knew he would adjust.

 

He is not coming back. He was clear enough so start getting over him already.

 

Harry felt the tears coming. He looked at his phone. 7:10 am and he was already in tears. Harry didn't know how he was going to make it through the day, lying here feeling pain both in his body and heart, thinking about Louis and crying. He was afraid of depression settling in. He did feel very depressed and he wasn't a stranger to depression. He had suffered mildly from it when his mother had gotten sick and his father was being an asshole and it had gotten worse when his mother had passed away and his dad had kicked him out. But Harry had looked for help and had it treated. He wasn't a depressed person. On the contrary, he was a happy, laid back person but this.....all this was just tearing him apart and he knew there was no getting over Louis.

 

He scrolled through his pictures of Louis, remembering those happy times with him and Harry broke. He cried and sobbed his heart out at all the memories of the past six weeks, the good, the bad, the happy and the sad.

 

'I miss you,' Harry sobbed. 'I miss you so much. And I love you so much more. How am I supposed to live without you now? How? Why did you send me away? Why can't you love me too? You should've given me one more chance to prove I can be one of your boys but you sent me away. Why Louis? I love you so much.' Harry continued to ramble and cry until he wore himself out and fell back to sleep on the couch, hugging his phone to his chest as if he were hugging Louis himself.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry was woken up by the buzzing of the intercom. He felt disoriented as he tried to surface from his sleepy mind. The buzzing continued so he slowly got up, the pain in his body instantly making him alert. He hobbled to the door and pressed the button to the intercom.

 

'Yes?' he said groggily.

 

'Harry dear it's me,' Judy told him and Harry remembered that she had told him she would be coming in the morning. He buzzed the door open for her and opened the flat door then walked back to the couch, sitting down gently. He picked up his phone that had somehow toppled to the carpet and checked the time. It was just a little after 10 am. Judy walked into the flat.

 

'How are you today Harry?' she asked him as she set about getting his breakfast out of her picnic basket. Harry watched her with an amused smile. Sometimes she reminded him of Mary Poppins. That bag of hers seemed to be a magical one as she pulled out item after item out of it.

 

'I'm okay,' he said as he yawned. Judy came back with a plate of blueberry pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. Harry eyed the plate and Judy frowned.

 

'Don't tell me you're not hungry,' she told him as she pushed the plate in his hands. 'You have to eat Harry.' Harry nodded and began taking small bites of food, chewing slowly. He really didn't feel like eating but Judy was going out of her way to bring him food and the least he could do was eat it. Judy came back with two steaming mugs of tea and sat down beside Harry. Harry looked at her.

 

'H-how is he?' he asked her quietly. Judy sighed heavily.

 

'How can you ask about him after what he did to you?' Judy asked him curiously. Harry looked down at his plate, pushing the food around with his fork.

 

'I-I love him,' Harry said in a low voice thick with emotions. Judy stroked his messy hair.

 

'Oh my darling you are such a beautiful soul. Don't waste your love like that. Find yourself a nice young man......'

 

'Its him. Only him,' Harry interrupted her. He felt that right now, Judy was the only person he could talk to about Louis. He certainly couldn't talk about him and all that happened with his friends. But Judy, he knew she wouldn't judge him and she would understand.

 

'All I can say is that he's a fool to have let you go,' Judy told him. Harry kept his eyes on her.

 

'Do you know w-why he's like that?' Harry asked her but Judy shook her head.

 

'No I don't. But he's always been like this. Ever since I have been in his employment which has been for a while now, he's always had that basement. He's always had his boys down there.' Harry looked down and bit his lip hard trying not to cry. 'But he's kind hearted. He's very kind hearted. I don't know what evil has happened in his life to make him do what he does but Louis is kind. He does have a heart unlike what many may think of him. It's just that he hides it.'

 

'I-I've seen it,' Harry said softly. 'His heart. He's always been kind to me. I-I don't understand why.....' he stopped and choked back a sob. Judy placed her hand on his thigh and squeezed it gently.

 

'Harry talking from experience, you are the best thing that has ever happened to Louis. I have never seen him the way he was when he was with you with anybody else. You are the longest person who's been in his life. In my opinion I think he is just confused and doesn't know what he wants. He's accustomed to a life alone. He has always kept everyone at a distance and this....you are new to him.' Harry wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and looked at Judy.

 

'But all those things he said to me. Its not what he did. I can get used to that but what he said....' Judy smiled at him.

 

'Don't believe everything you hear Harry. Louis is his own master. He has built high walls around him over the years and nobody have ever breached those walls. You, you jack hammered part of his walls and he felt exposed and vulnerable and that's something Louis doesn't do. Harry, my advice to you is; don't give up on him yet. I know he has he has hurt you terribly and this trauma he put you through won't be easy to get over but just don't give up on him yet. Please. He's just scared of you.' Harry gave her a shocked look.

 

'Scared of me?' he asked her unable to believe it. Again Judy smiling knowingly.

 

'You touched something nobody has ever touched before Harry. You touched his heart and he won't let go lightly.' Harry felt his heart glow and warm up. More tears fell from his eyes. 'Don't cry my darling,' Judy told him as she rubbed his back. 'Have faith. Now eat. You need to take your pills and medications. I'll quickly clean up in here and open a window for you. You need some fresh air.'

 

'Judy you don't have to,' Harry told her.

 

'No I don't. But I want to. I am going to take care of you. Now finish up.' Harry gave her a smile and finished up his breakfast as Judy cleaned his small flat and did a load of his laundry. When she was done, she ran him a bath. Judy loved taking care of Harry. She loved having him around the house and she had to admit to herself that it was very quiet without him. Not that he made a lot of noise but his presence in the house had been felt. He somehow filled that big cold house with warmth and feeling.

 

 

When he came out limping from the bathroom, Judy made him another cup of tea and handed him his painkillers which Harry swallowed thankfully.

 

'I have to go now love,' Judy told him. 'I have to make sure the chores at the house are done though I don't have to prepare dinner for him....' She stopped abruptly but Harry picked up on it. He gave her a small smile.

 

'It's okay Judy. I know he's not the type to stay at home. Or alone.'

 

'He's just finding excuses to deal Harry,' Judy told him. Harry didn't say anything. 'Well I'll be off. You have dinner in the microwave and some snacks in case you feel peckish in between meals okay. Will you be alright?'

 

'I will. I will probably sleep and I have a friend coming over later. Thank you so much Judy.' Judy smiled at him warmly.

 

'You are welcome my love. I will see you tomorrow then.' Judy left and Harry was once again left alone with his thoughts and pains. He decided to text Niall to let him know he's home sick and if he could pick up his assignments because Harry couldn't afford to miss lessons but he couldn't go to Uni in the state he was in. He guessed that he just had to work extra hard with his revisions and studies. He put on the telly and fell asleep to the BBC News but was yet awakened by the buzzer. Harry felt annoyed that his sleep was being interrupted. When he slept, he forgot everything and didn't feel pain. Being awake, he had to face everything and he didn't feel like it. It hurt to much. The buzzer buzzed again. He huffed and got up.

 

'Who is it?' he asked a little annoyed.

 

'Craig.' Shit how long had he slept for? Harry quickly ran his hand through his messy curls trying to tame them a little. He hadn't really been taking much care of his appearance of late. He pressed the button to open the door for Craig then opened the flat door. He walked back to the couch and was glad to see a hair tie on the coffee table. He quickly pulled his hair up into a bun. Craig walked in with a smile on his face.

 

'How's my patient feeling today?' he asked him as he sat down next to Harry and handed him a bag of Dunkin Donuts. 'I figured donuts always make patients feel better.' Harry smiled at him shyly.

 

'Thank you,' he said taking the bag from him and placing it on the coffee table.

 

'How are you' Craig asked him. 'Any fever?' Harry shook his head. 'How's the pain on a scale of 1 to 10?' Harry chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully.

 

'Eight,' he told him. Craig nodded.

 

'Painkillers and treatment helping though?'

 

'Yes. I sleep a lot,' Harry told him.

 

'Sleeping is good. It helps the body heal and yours is going to take a while.' Craig looked at him closely and he could see how sad Harry was. He felt bad for the boy and he knew he was right in his examination and what he had found on his body. The boy had been tied, beaten and raped and he wanted him to talk about it. He didn't want to know who the person was though he would definitely encourage Harry to report him but he didn't want Harry to lock himself away mentally and suffer by himself. Keeping it all inside wouldn't do him any good. This was a battle that he shouldn't fight alone and Craig wasn't going to let him fight it alone. Craig shuffled closer to Harry.

 

'Harry I know we just met and we didn't meet under good circumstances but I want us to be friends. I can help you through this. I am a certified counselor and I help people who are physically abused and raped. What you have been through will take an emotional and mental toll on you and it will change you. It can change you to a worse version of yourself and I wish you wouldn't let that happen. Please talk to me and let me help you.' Harry fidgeted with his fingers and chewed on his bottom lip.

 

'He...he didn't r-rape me,' Harry said softly defending Louis. He couldn't think about it. He wouldn't think about the fact that Louis raped him. Louis would never do that. He just got carried away and had rough sex with him.

 

'Okay. Can you tell me what caused your wounds then?' Harry began to feel panic rise inside of him. He wanted to talk, needed to talk but could he trust Craig? Harry looked at him with fear in his eyes.

 

'You will not tell anyone right?' he asked him. Craig smiled at him.

 

'As your doctor and counselor anything you say to me, I am bound by profession not to expose of anything you tell me.' Harry nodded to himself.

 

'H-he, he just...he does things,' Harry said not even knowing how to explain what Louis did because he didn't know what Louis did exactly. Craig saw him flustered and nervous.

 

'Its okay Harry. Take your time and just tell me your version of what happened.' Harry looked him straight in the eyes.

 

'He's a good person. He always treated me kindly. He just...likes to,' he stopped as a lump formed in his throat un allowing him to speak.

 

'Is he your boyfriend?' Craig asked him. At the word "boyfriend" Harry's heart clenched tightly, the pain spreading in his chest. Tears dripped from his eyes.

 

'No. It was complicated. We were together, just together. He always took care of me.' Craig nodded.

 

'Okay tell me what happened that got you your injuries.' Harry took in a shaky breath.

 

'He's not a bad person he just like to....be rough. He...he tied me up and used his belt then he..he,' Harry paused as a sob escaped his lips and tears rolled on to his cheeks. 'He had sex with me.' His hands were shaking and they were clammy.

 

'Did you tell him to stop Harry? Did you tell him you didn't want this? Did you say no?' Craig asked him carefully. Harry wiped his eyes.

 

'I did but...but something bad must've happened to him because he never hurt me before. He's always been very gentle with me but this one time, it was like I didn't know him at all. It was like he wasn't the same person.' Craig sighed.

 

'Harry you need to understand that you WERE raped. Don't deny it just because you have feelings for this man. Don't make excuses for him.'

 

'You don't know him,' Harry defended Louis. 'Something is wrong with him and he's hurting too. He did this because he's hurt.' Craig sighed heavily.

 

'Harry listen to me. If somebody holds you down and has sex with you when you have told them no and stop that is rape. Even if it is by a person we love. Please don't deny it because it will only hurt you. We can work through it the moment you accept that it happened to you.' At this point, Harry was crying softly, hiccuping quietly. He had yelled so much for Louis to stop, he had begged him to stop that he was hurting him but Louis had kept on going.

 

He raped you.

 

'Its okay to cry,' Craig told him kindly. 'You trusted this person you loved....'

 

'I love him still,' Harry corrected him. 'I always will. He didn't mean to hurt me. I know he didn't. It's not in him to hurt me. It just happened.'

 

'Did he apologize to you for what he did to you? And if he did, will you forgive him?' Harry looked at him with teary eyes.

 

'I already have.'

 

 

x

 

 

All week long Harry did nothing but lie on the couch feeling miserable and depressed. He got daily visits from Judy and sometimes from Craig which were nice. Niall had come over with assignments which Harry didn't even bother to look at let alone do. He ate when forced by Judy and drank when it was necessary. He took his pills gladly because they knocked him out and made him sleep most of the day putting him out of his misery and depression. The times he was awake were plain torture. Louis was everywhere on social media. He was photographed out at parties and dinners with different male dates every night. He looked stunning in different suits and Harry's heart broke a little every time that he saw him with one of his dates, smiling and his arm wrapped securely around their waists.

 

The first time Harry saw pictures of him with his beautiful date, he nearly died from the pain that assaulted his chest. He had cried and cried nonstop as he scrolled through Twitter and saw pictures of him and read the comments. Louis looked like a movie star, so beautiful and so perfect and when Harry saw the men that where his dates, he knew that he couldn't even begin to compare. The men that Louis was dating were very different from Harry. They were beautiful and well built and suited Louis really well. Harry knew that Louis had been right. He was not his type at all. He had gone to look at himself in the mirror and what he saw had made him throw up. No wonder Louis had sent him away.

 

He knew that he had lost weight. His reflection stared back at him through hollow red eyes and a pale face with a mass of messy tangled curls. Craig had suggested something to help ease his depression but Harry didn't want to get addicted to those pills. He had promised Craig that he would fight it but who was he kidding? With every picture he saw of Louis with a new date, depression dragged him down deeper into the darkness and solitude.

 

It was during one of his depressive episodes while watching a video of Louis being interviewed at a charity function where he was dressed in a tuxedo and on his arm was the most handsome man Harry had ever seen, that Harry had taken a blade to his skin. When he had heard his voice and his laughter, the pain in his heart had been so painful that he needed something else so as not to feel it any more. And as he had watched Louis laugh and introduce his companion to the media, Harry had slit a horizontal line on his forearm, the pain from the blade dulling out his emotional pain as blood oozed from the wound and tears fell from his eyes. He had repeated it until he had six horizontal bleeding lines on his arm, then took his pain killers and fell asleep to Louis' sweet voice.

 

All week he had watched Louis, staring transfixed at the man he was in love with. He had managed to hide everything from Judy and Craig, telling them that he was alright and fine and that his body was healing until one day Craig was visiting him and Harry didn't notice that a few scars on his arm were bleeding and the blood had seeped through his grey sweatshirt. Craig had made him lift the sleeve up and when he saw the cuts his heart went out to Harry especially when Harry kept repeating "don't be mad at me, don't be mad at me." Craig had only hugged him tightly, letting him cry it out then cleaned his wounds and bound them in bandages.

 

Today was the seventh day since Louis had beaten Harry and kicked him out. Craig came by as usual after his shift to find Harry wrapped up in his blanket on the couch, the curtains drawn so the room was dark only the light from the telly bouncing off the walls. The food that Judy had brought him was all still there, untouched.

 

'Harry haven't you eaten?' Craig asked him. Harry only shook his head. Craig sighed. 'If you don't eat I will have to take you to hospital and put you on an IV. Your body needs food and fluids not just pills. Has Judy been today?' Harry nodded. Craig rubbed his forehead.

 

'Harry you need to make an effort. You are deteriorating in front of my eyes and I can't let it happen. I'm a doctor. I can't watch idly as you do this to yourself. What's happened that got you so bad these past few days? Talk to me so I can help you.'

 

'Nobody can help me,' he whispered. Craig sat down next to Harry's legs and rubbed his thigh gently.

 

'I can if you let me. Let me call your friends. They might cheer you up a little bit, maybe go out.'

 

'I still can't walk properly,' Harry pointed out.

 

'Okay fair enough. How about I take you for a drive? Its only 4 pm. Some fresh air will do you good,' Craig suggested.

 

'I just want to sleep,' Harry mumbled. Craig sighed heavily.

 

'Harry sleeping won't make your problems go away. Or your heartache. Or your memories or the trauma you went through. When you wake up, it will all still be there. You need to fight it love and I am here to help you. Can you at least get up and have a bath hmm? Those wounds need cleaning.'

 

'Okay,' Harry whispered and Craig smiled at him. He helped him up and took him to his bathroom leaving him to soak for a little while. Back in the living room, Craig went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and noticed Judy's number stuck to the fridge. He took out his phone and dialed her number. She picked up after the second ring.

 

'Hello who is this?' she said.

 

'Hi Judy you don't know me but I am Craig. Craig Blake. I am Harry's doctor....'

 

'Oh my God did something happen to Harry? Is he alright?'

 

'Judy Judy calm down. He's fine. Well as fine as can be expected. I am worried about him. He is in a very depressive state and I don't know what else to do. He doesn't want to let me help him and he has resolved to self harming and that is worrying me very much.' He heard Judy sob on the other end of the phone.

 

'That poor boy. He was such a happy lad, so full of life,' she cried.

 

'I am very worried. He hasn't been eating. All the food you bring him is still here. I cannot visit him every day as my work shifts at the hospital vary. I don't think its wise for him to be alone. He doesn't want me to call his friends either and you are my last hope.' Craig heard Judy sniffle.

 

'I will arrange for him not to be alone. Please give me some time. Stay with him until I arrive. Can you?' Judy asked him.

 

'Yes of course. I just finished my shift so I'm in no real hurry. Take your time.'

 

'Thank you.'

 

 

x

 

 

Judy put the phone down on the kitchen counter and wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. She had to go and look after Harry because if something happened to him, she knew she would never forgive herself. As she was sniffling in the kitchen, Louis walked in. She turned around startled.

 

'Sir you are home early. I wasn't expecting you till much later,' Judy exclaimed. Louis saw that she had been crying.

 

'What's wrong?' he asked her and more tears fell out of her eyes but she only shook her head. 'Judy what's wrong?' Louis asked her again more firmly, a feeling of dread pooling in the pit of his stomach. Judy looked at him.

 

'It's Harry,' she whispered and Louis felt his blood turn to ice. He couldn't move his lips to ask her what was wrong with Harry. He kept staring at her while his brain screamed and screamed and screamed. Judy took his silence as not really caring and she felt herself get angry. She turned to face him. 'He is suffering from depression. He won't eat or get off the couch. He is loaded on painkillers which just make him sleep all the time and he...he is self harming. That poor beautiful boy was reduced to this!' she told him, making clear to throw her accusations at him indirectly but she knew he was clever enough to pick up on it. Judy kept glaring at him waiting for him to say something but what she didn't know was that he was breaking inside, falling to pieces because he knew he had done this. He had driven Harry to this single handedly when all he wanted was for Harry to forget him and move on and be happy. Judy swallowed hard.

 

'Craig, his doctor and his friend is with him right now and I am informing you that I will be taking a leave of absence because Craig thinks its not wise for Harry to be left alone. He needs someone with him and I am taking a few days off to go and stay with him. Maybe you should find a replacement for the time being to take my place. I will not leave him alone. God forbid anything happens to that lad.' Judy dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. Louis remained immobile just staring at Judy and the anger in her grew that he didn't even say anything or react to Harry's state. She walked towards him and stopped in front of him.

 

'You should be the one taking care of him. A whole week and you never asked about him or how he's doing while that poor boy died a little every day. It would've been a human thing to do to be considerate of him during a time like this. He has no one. All he had was you. Shame on you for awakening in him a love that you knew you would never reciprocate.' Judy walked past him and left the room, leaving him standing there.

 

Louis didn't know what to think or what to say. Nobody knew his silent torment, what he was going through himself. They only saw what he showed them but inside he was dead. He couldn't live with himself with what he had done to Harry and now knowing what he was further putting him through. He felt as if he was going crazy. He wanted to fix it for Harry but how? How could he make it better for him without dragging him deeper into this hell that he had brought him into? He turned and exited the kitchen. He walked up to his room and closed the door. He had to do something. He pulled out his phone and found the number for his therapist. He needed someone to talk to, some advice on how to handle this. The state Harry was in according to Judy was serious and he couldn't make any decisions about how to handle it. He tapped the name on his contact and his call was picked up after three rings.

 

'Hello?'

 

'Anthony hi. It's Louis.'

 

'Ah Louis long time no hear. How are you?' Louis sighed.

 

'Not good unfortunately.'

 

'Relapse?'

 

'Something like that,' Louis told him. 'Listen do you think you can see me now? Its pretty urgent.' He heard Anthony tap at what must be his tablet.

 

'I only have another two appointments. I will reschedule. Can you come by in 20 minutes?'

 

'Yes thank you so much Anthony. I appreciate it,' Louis told him genuinely grateful.

 

'See you in twenty then.' Louis hung up and quickly changed out of his suit and put on a pair of dark blue jeans, a black Gucci hoodie and a pair of black Adidas trainers. He only dressed like this when he was off jogging sans the jeans instead a pair of sweats or when he was just lazing about the house. Tonight, he wasn't in the mood for a suit and stiff shirt. He had too much on his mind. He went downstairs and straight into the garage and decided to take the Range Rover. He didn't want anybody around him. He needed to tackle this alone. He got in and drove towards Mayfair where his therapist's office was located. Louis parked in the underground parking garage and took the lift up to the 14th floor. He was impatient and tense and worried about Harry but he couldn't just go to him. That was impossible. Maybe he could send Anthony to him. Anthony was a good therapist. He could get Harry out of this.

 

It stabbed him deep inside when Judy had told him that Harry was depressed and self harming. How could he? Louis knew he wasn't worth getting depressed over and he surely wasn't worth Harry harming his beautiful body over a bastard like him? He wanted Harry to be happy and healthy. Yes, he will convince Anthony to go to him and heal him.

 

The elevator dinged open and Louis walked down the corridor towards Anthony's office. He was nervous because he hadn't used his therapist in a long while. His life had been sorted and on the right track until Harry barreled into him causing a train wreck of his life. He knocked and rubbed his hands together trying to keep his anxiety in check. Anthony opened the door, greeting Louis with a smile.

 

'Hello Louis. Please come in. I can't say its a pleasure to see you since you are here meaning things can't be good.' Louis smiled nervously as he walked into the therapist's office. Louis was glad to see that nothing had changed since the last time he had been here, maybe a year or two ago. He had been Anthony's patient for a long time and Anthony had helped him come to terms with certain aspects of his life and accept some things that he couldn't change no matter what he did. Anthony had told him that the past couldn't be changed but the future was in his hands. Louis sighed heavily.

 

Now your future is taken up in Harry's hands!

 

Louis sat down on the black leather couch as Anthony sat in the armchair across from him. He crossed one leg over the other and picked up his journal and pen, flipping it open to a blank page.

 

'So, how have you been Louis?' Anthony asked him.

 

'I have been better,' Louis muttered not sure he remembered how this worked. When he used to come here, he had been in a pretty bad place.

 

As if now you're not! Not only you but you dragged Harry in there with you.

 

Louis felt a stab of guilt in his chest. He remembered how happy Harry used to be, always smiling and carefree and now from what Judy had told him, he was depressed and self harming.

 

'Louis?' Anthony called to him softly. Louis blinked pulling himself out of his dark thoughts.

 

'Sorry I was thinking,' Louis told him.

 

'Care to share?' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled puffing out his cheeks.

 

'It feels as if my whole life has been going wrong Anthony,' Louis confessed. Anthony looked pensive.

 

'Hmm but I thought you had it all under control,' Anthony queried. Louis scoffed.

 

'I thought so too but for the past few weeks I haven't been in control of my life. I feel like I have lost control over everything.'

 

'How so?' Anthony asked him. Louis looked down at his hands in his lap.

 

'I met someone,' Louis told him quietly as images of the first time he met Harry at Garlands flooded his mind, making his heart beat a little faster.

 

'As in one of your boys?' Anthony asked. Louis smiled to himself, a small shy smile that made Anthony raise an eyebrow curiously at Louis.

 

'No. He's not one of my boys. He is different. Special,' Louis told him with deep fondness that wasn't lost on Anthony. Anthony smiled as he took notes, writing down in his journal.

 

'And what makes this guy so different and so special? Can you tell me his name?' Louis smiled again.

 

'Harry. His name is Harry. Everything about him is different and special.' Louis paused and swallowed thickly. 'He- he's my baby,' he said quietly and Anthony sat up straight in his chair.

 

'He's your what?' Louis looked at him and his eyes were a little wet.

 

'He's my baby,' he repeated, his voice soft. Anthony put the journal and pen down and looked at Louis in astonishment. Was he hearing correctly?

 

'Louis have you developed feelings for Harry?' Anthony couldn't help asking him this question, half shocked half surprised. Louis ran a hand through his hair in deep frustration. He was fighting his emotions, trying not to break down in front of Anthony.

 

'Fuck Anthony I don't know. That's why I came here for you to help me figure out what the fuck is going on inside of me because I feel as if I'm going crazy. I'm losing control.' Anthony looked at him curiously and in awe. Louis Tomlinson was having feelings! This was new!

 

'Tell me more about Harry Louis. Tell me what feelings he makes you feel,' Anthony urged him on. He need to hear what Louis felt for Harry before he could sum up what Louis was exactly feeling. Louis ran both hands nervously over his face.

 

'Too many feelings. He makes me feel too much. Feelings I never felt before and I hate it,' Louis admitted.

 

'Why?' Anthony pushed. Louis got up and paced the room.

 

'Because....because its like I can't be without him for a second. I hate that I want to be with him all the fucking time, that he dominates my thoughts. Nobody dominates me. Nobody! And he....he is fucking up everything I have ever worked for and struggled to keep in check. He's fucking up my life.' Anthony smiled.

 

'So someone has made a hole in the Tomlinson Fortress walls and crawled through now have they?' Louis gave Anthony an annoyed look.

 

'Its not fucking funny. I shouldn't have let him get too close to me,' Louis told him.

 

'Why not?' Anthony asked. Louis sat down again heavily on the couch.

 

'Because he has become like an obsession to me. Because I depend on having him in my life. Because the things he makes me feel...' he paused and looked at Anthony and for the first time Anthony saw him looking vulnerable. 'Because the things he makes me feel, I want them. I need them. I like them and I depend on feeling them as if without them I am not whole. I am constantly terrified I will lose him, though I might have already lost him.'

 

'Why do you think that?' Louis didn't reply right away. He kept his eyes on the carpet struggling to dominate his emotions. After a while, he took in a shuddering breath and looked like he was composing himself.

 

'I-I hurt him,' he said in a thick voice.

 

'How so Louis?' Anthony was surprised and rather shocked to see Louis' eyes fill with tears. In all the years Anthony had known Louis, he had never ever seen him like this. This Harry guy must've really worked a number on him!

 

'I beat him. I beat him really bad. Worse than all my boys and I...I forced myself on him. There was nothing consensual about what I did. My boys always know what to expect during our sessions. Harry didn't. I just dragged him into the basement and beat the living shit out of him and I...I forced myself inside him so bad it even hurt me, let alone him. He had to go to hospital. He's barely out of his virginity and I...I ruined him so bad.' Louis stopped and made a choking sobbing sound in his throat. Anthony looked at him his mouth open.

 

'This is the first time that you forced yourself on someone Louis,' Anthony told him. Louis again rubbed his face wiping away at some tears hoping Anthony wouldn't see them and feeling frustrated that he was losing control over his emotions in front of Anthony.

 

'I raped him,' he whispered.

 

'Louis....'

 

'He repeatedly told me no and to stop but I....I kept on going and going and going and he screamed and screamed and begged and I just can't get his screams and pleas out of my head. I keep hearing him begging me to stop, screaming that it hurts but I just....,' Louis admitted as a few more tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

'Louis some of your past.....'

 

'It no excuse,' Louis cut him off. 'That shouldn't be an excuse for what I did to him. I fucking traumatized him. He's depressed and started self harming after all the shit I did and said to him. He's hurting himself because of me. Me! He loves me! A worthless piece of shit like me. I never wanted to take him into the basement. I tried my hardest I really did but then he said he loved me and I don't know what the fuck happened or why I was so cruel to him. I just had to take it out on him. That's all I felt.' Louis paused to catch his breath which was coming out in shaky gasps. He looked at Anthony, now the tears rolling freely down his face and Anthony couldn't even speak because Louis Tomlinson was crying and feeling bad.

 

'Do you know he was a virgin when I met him?' Louis said, sniffing at his tears and a small smile on his face at his recollecting memories. Anthony knew better than to stop him now that Louis was on a roll and talking freely so he let him talk without interrupting him. 'I met him at my club. He was a fucking stripper.' Louis laughed at the irony of it all. 'Him! A virgin and a fucking stripper! He was sent to me in the VIP lounge and he was so beautiful and innocent. He didn't even know how to give me a fucking blow job! Right then I knew then that my main mission was to have him and corrupt him. The son of a bitch inside me demanded that but something inside me didn't want to take his virginity away and he had the nerve to think that I didn't want him!! Imagine that! Who wouldn't want that angel? He was practically begging me to fuck him but I was scared. Yes, I was scared. I never took a virgin before and by now, I was feeling things for him. I didn't just want to fuck him and leave any more. I didn't want him to be just another conquest of mine. I wanted to love him. To make sweet love to him but I didn't know how. I'm a ruthless savage, a heartless bastard and I didn't want to do that to Harry.' Louis paused, swallowing hard and wiping furiously at his eyes. He took in another deep breath, exhaling slowly.

 

'When I eventually took him, I was gentle with him. I always was. I never hurt him. Ever. I was never rough and he trusted me! Completely. He gave himself over to me with complete, blind trust. He fucking trusted me so much,' Louis said once again choking on his words. Anthony cleared his throat because it had gone dry.

 

'So what did eventually drive you to hurt him?' Anthony asked and Louis shrugged.

 

'It was when he said he loved me after I came back from a four day business trip. He said he loved me and I don't know, I freaked out. Something inside me snapped and I was lost back there, I went back there. He can't love me! I'm a mess. I'm a cruel son of a bitch and that beautiful boy can't possibly love me.'

 

'Why not Louis? We are all deserving of love. What you did wasn't right but it wasn't entirely your fault,' Anthony told him but Louis shook his head.

 

'I'm a monster and monsters are not lovable. Monsters terrify people. They are cruel. And that's what I am. Harry cannot love me. I hurt him so bad and I sent him away. I sent him away so he could be rid of me and be happy. Find somebody who will love him the way he should be loved.'

 

'You sent him away?' Anthony asked him. Louis nodded.

 

'Yeah. The next morning he could barely stand on his own two feet and he was trying to put on a brave face for my sake so I won't feel bad for what I fucking did to him,' Louis spat, disgusted by his actions. 'He didn't want to let me see the pain he was in but it was all over his face. He was pale and sweating and panting but he was being brave for me! When I saw him in that state, I knew I could be better, I knew I should do something for him, so I sent him away but he was standing there swaying from the pain I caused, begging me not to send him away. He was fucking crying because I told him that I didn't want him, that he wasn't my type, that I only used him to take his virginity and he was there crying and begging me to keep him. He told me that what I did to him didn't matter, that he loves me still and that if beating him and forced sex was what I needed then he would get used to it if only I let him stay. He fucking wants to get used to me beating him because he loves me and I just....I can't. I won't!'

 

'But why not?' Anthony asked him. 'What makes him different from your other boys? You beat them! You have rough sex with them!'

 

'Because I don't want to hurt him. It felt wrong hurting him. I was disgusted with myself for hurting him. Never before have I ever felt disgusted or guilty for having beat someone. I want to fucking protect him and keep him safe not hurt him! He's not made to be hurt. He's made to be protected.'

 

'Why do you feel the need to protect him Louis?' Anthony asked him, trying to push him into admitting his feelings for Harry. Louis shrugged.

 

'I don't know. Maybe its because of the difficult past he had. Maybe its because he's struggling in life. Maybe its because he's so delicate and fragile and sensitive. He just makes me that way. He brings out this part of me that I didn't even know existed inside me.' Anthony sighed.

 

'Its always been there Louis. Its just been hidden under all your pain and anger and trauma. Harry is just bringing it forth,' Anthony explained.

 

'I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm losing all my self control. It's confusing me,' Louis said.

 

'Louis you don't always have to have total control of things. You cannot control your heart. You might be able to have control over many things but you cannot control your heart and the reason you feel confused is because you are caging up your feelings. You are denying what you are feeling. Tell me what you feel for Harry. How does he make you feel?' Louis smiled to himself, his eyes shining and Anthony didn't miss the deep fond affections on his features. He almost glowed.

 

'He makes me feel like an idiot. Like a kid. He makes me feel free and want to do romantic things. He makes me smile and look forward to tomorrow. He makes me want him in my tomorrow and every time I sleep holding him tightly to me, I sleep peacefully knowing I'm going to wake up to him there beside me. He...he makes me feel something in my chest, something warm and nice. Something that's too big to fit in my small cavity.' Anthony smiled at him.

 

'Its called love Louis. You love him. You love Harry.' Louis looked at him with wide eyes, his lashes still wet from the tears.

 

'No,' he said sadly. 'No. I can't love. I am unable to love. I don't know how to love anyone.' His voice cracked.

 

'You don't know how because you never felt it before. You never fell in love before Louis. This is all new to you and yes it is confusing because you don't know the meaning or feelings of love but trust me, you are in love with Harry. You are just so afraid of letting it show, of living it out. You are clearly hurt that you hurt him and clearly very upset that you sent him away. Do you miss him?' Louis smiled again, a small sad smile.

 

'I do. Very much. I miss everything about him, all his little things. Its like I'm half a heart without him. Half myself. I think about him all the time. I can't do anything without thinking of him. And it kills me knowing he is in pain and depressed and hurting himself all because of me.'

 

'Why won't you go back to him? See how he's doing? Be there for him. Apologize and tell him how you feel about him?' Anthony suggested.

 

'I can't do that Anthony. I scared him too much and I doubt he will want to see me. I can't tell him what I feel for him. I won't.'

 

'Why not? What's holding you back Louis?'

 

'I'm scared. If I tell him all that I feel for him, I will have to let him in and tell him everything about my past and I can't do that. I don't want him to see that part of me.'

 

'Because he will see you vulnerable? Because you will be giving him some sort of control over you? You are only human Louis,' Anthony told him.

 

'He can never know,' Louis insisted. 'I can't bare to have him pity me and feel sorry for me.'

 

'Louis, he loves you. You don't have to tell him now but if you work this out and you two enter a committed relationship, he will be your partner. He will understand and be there for you. Might I suggest something?' he asked and Louis nodded so Anthony continued;

 

'Maybe you should give love a chance and let yourself be loved. I mean, you haven't really gotten over your past issues by using force and violence. Clearly the desire in you to release your anger by beating people with a belt is still there. You still feel the need to lessen your pain by using violent ways. Have you ever considered that maybe love is what you need to help you heal? That maybe loving someone and letting them love you in return might be the beginning of your healing and moving on? Why not give love a shot Louis? Why not love and be loved?' Louis shook his head.

 

'Its too late. I hurt him bad. He won't forgive me or want me back. He will be terrorized of me by now. And even if by some miracle he did forgive me and still want me, he will leave me once I tell him about my past. I'm too fucked up for him. He's too pure for my darkness,' Louis said sadly.

 

'From all that you told me about Harry, he sounds very open minded and mature. You told me that he had a bad difficult past too so you should really give him a chance. Don't you think he should get to decide for himself?' Anthony asked him.

 

'His past is not bad as mine,' Louis said quietly. 'Harry is a happy person. He is a walking sun spreading sunshine wherever he goes. Even my staff love him. My housekeeper fucking left me to fend for myself to go and look after him. He is that type of person that people fall in love with. He spreads love like fucking confetti. All I bring him is pain and darkness. I make him sad and miserable. He deserves better that is why I want you to go to him and help him get through this depressive period he's in. Please Anthony, go help him. Get him on his feet again. Make him happy again and give him his smile back. Please.'

 

'Louis I....'

 

'Anthony you have to. Please I'm begging you. Go to him. Help him. You helped me at my worst and I got better so I know you can help him. Please don't let him suffer because of me, because of my inability to love. You know I don't beg Anthony, for anything and to nobody but I'm begging you and I will get down on my knees if it means convincing you to help Harry. He shouldn't be depressed or hurting himself. Anthony please.' Anthony really could not believe that this was the same Louis that he had dealt with years before. He gave him a warm smile.

 

'You know I will do anything to help Harry but its not me that he needs Louis. Its you. My words will not do anything for him. I can medicate him to make him feel better and deal with what he is going through but he will never be truly happy or get his smile back because only you can make him happy and give him his smile back. Only you can stop him hurting himself and emerge from his depression. He only wants you Louis and you have to go to him.' Louis looked at him as if he had been struck by lightening.

 

'How can I do all that when I'm the one who depressed him and made him hurt himself in the first place? He doesn't want to see me! Not after what I did and said to him!' Anthony leaned forward in his chair.

 

'Louis your love will heal him. Show him your love. Show him you care for him. Tell him you are sorry and trust me you will work a miracle. Both for him and yourself. Sometimes, all a person needs is love and attention from the person they love and trust me, all that Harry needs to get better is you. Now go. Go to him.' Louis seemed to be thinking about it, torn between wanting to go and not.

 

'What if...what if it doesn't work?' Louis asked him.

 

'Its a risk but at least you will know that you have tried. Unfortunately putting your heart in someone's hands means it could be broken too.' Louis looked down.

 

'I remember feeling heartbroken once and its not a nice feeling. It hurts too bad,' he said softly.

 

'Does it hurt knowing what you did to Harry and the state he is in?' Anthony asked him. Louis looked up and met his eyes.

 

'Its killing me,' he admitted.

 

'Then go and make the both of you better Louis. Don't be afraid. You are not a stranger to taking risks. You do it in your business. This is one risk you have to take because if you don't, it will leave you in doubt for the rest of your life.' Louis nodded still looking doubtful whether he could do this or not. He got up and shook Anthony's hand.

 

'Thank you,' he said softly as they walked together towards the door.

 

'If it doesn't work, I will go to Harry and help him and Louis please let me see you again. Whatever the out come of this, its going to be a huge change for you and we should try for you not to relapse especially if Harry will be with you. We can't have him hurt again.' Louis understood the meaning of his words.

 

'I will set up an appointment for next week. See you then,' Louis told him. Anthony squeezed his hand.

 

'See you Louis and good luck. Be brave.'

 

 

x

 

 

Louis drove slowly from Anthony's office towards Edgware Road. It was only 5:30 pm but it was dark already and raining softly. He felt nervous and scared, two emotions he wasn't very familiar with. He didn't even know what he was supposed to say to Harry. What if he didn't want to see him? What if he sent him away screaming? What if he was too far gone to be reached? He didn't know what to expect. All he knew was that he loved Harry. Ever since Anthony helped point it out, he felt it now. He remembered when he had loved his mother even though it was a vauge distant feeling but he had loved his mother. With Harry it was different. It was a nice feeling but scary too and it made him uncertain.

 

He tapped his hands on the steering wheel as he stopped at yet another red light. He just wanted to get there before he could change his mind. His wind screen fogged up and he leaned over to wipe it. Thankfully the light turned to green and he drove on towards Edgware Road. He could feel his heart jack rabbiting against his ribs. He hadn't seen him in 7 days. He turned off Praed Street and found a parking space a few feet away from Harry's flat. He got out and automatically locked his Range Rover, stuffed his cold hands in his hoodie pockets and walked towards the flat door. As he was about to press the buzzer, the door opened and Niall walked out nearly bumping into him.

 

'Oh hi Mr. T how are you? Came to see Harry?' Louis looked at him startled.

 

'Ah um yeah just came to see how he's doing.' Niall shook his head a little.

 

'He's not doing too well. That fall he took hurt him pretty bad the clumsy little sod,' Niall told him with a chuckle and Louis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

 

'Fall?' he asked confused.

 

'Yeah he slipped on sleet and went crashing down on his butt and hurt his lower back pretty bad. He couldn't walk or sit properly for a few days. He still walks slowly and carefully but he's more mobile than he was. I'm worried about him missing classes though. He hasn't even bothered to do any of the assignments I have been bringing him. He's been feeling kinda down lately. Maybe you can cheer him up. He will be happy to see you. Go on up. There's Judy with him so she will open the door for you. T'was nice seeing you again Mr. T,' Niall told him as he rushed off into the evening drizzle. Louis stood there staring at Niall as he jogged off. Fall? Slipped on sleet? Louis realized that Harry hadn't told his friends what had truly happened to him! He had protected him and kept it all secret! Again Louis felt the tears rim his eyes. Harry was so kind. He could've exposed him to his friends and they could've reported him, after all he had commit rape and bodily harm but Harry hadn't!

 

Louis climbed to the first floor and knocked softly on the door. He heard movement inside and Judy opened the door, giving him a shocked look.

 

'Sir what are you doing here?' she asked him as she stepped out on the landing pulling the door almost closed behind her.

 

'I need to see him Judy,' he told her, his voice almost a plea. Judy shook her head slightly.

 

'He's been very upset this afternoon. Not even Craig could calm him down,' Judy told him.

 

'Craig?' Louis asked. 'Who is Craig?' He knew he didn't have a right to be jealous but he was. He felt it in his guts twisting and turning like a coiling snake.

 

'He's his doctor and his friend,' Judy informed him. Louis nodded slightly. 'Maybe you should come back some other time Sir. He's just settled down. I'm worried because he won't eat and just stares blankly ahead. It's like there's no life left in him at all,' Judy said, her voice breaking and tears gathering in her eyes.

 

'Please Judy I need to see him now before I lose my resolve. I just got back from visiting Anthony....'

 

'You went to see Anthony?' Judy asked sounding surprised.

 

'Yes. I know that what I did was very very wrong and terrible and I'm....I want to try and make it better. Judy...' he paused and looked deep into her eyes. 'I-I think I might be in love with him,' he told her, his voice low and soft and Judy began to cry.

 

'Oh Sir I knew it. I knew it. I knew you loved him. The change in you was so obvious. I am so happy Sir. That poor boy doesn't deserve to suffer the way he has been. I will grab my bag and leave you two alone,' she told him sniffing back her tears happily. She walked inside and returned clutching her bag.

 

'Call Angus. Tell him to pick you up because its raining and go home. I will probably stay with him tonight. Thank you for all you did for him Judy.' Without realizing it, Louis wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Judy was beyond surprised because her boss had never hugged her but she hugged him back tightly. Judy left and when Louis heard the door downstairs close, he took in a deep breath, pushed the door open and walked inside. The flat was dimply lit. Just the light over the counter in the kitchen, a lampshade in the living room and the light from the telly. He gently walked towards the couch and saw Harry lying down wrapped in a blanket.

 

'Harry?' Louis called softly but Harry didn't react to his voice. Louis walked forwards and dropped to his knees on the carpet close to Harry. 'Harry its me,' he said again and this time Harry's eyes moved and rested on Louis. He blinked slowly as if trying to asses if this was a dream or reality, if his mind was playing tricks on him or if he was hallucinating from too many pain killers. Louis touched his arm gently and Harry jumped, sitting up as if startled. Louis got up quickly and held his hands out before him.

 

'I'm sorry I startled you Harry,' Louis apologized. 'I-I just came to see how you are doing.' Louis could see the fear in Harry's eyes and he wished he could just disappear.

 

'W-what d-do you w-want?' Harry asked him. He was trembling. Louis still held his hands out in front of him. Gently he sat down on the other side of the couch not too close to Harry.

 

'I just came to see how you're doing,' Louis told him, his voice as gentle as can be. Harry looked away from him.

 

'I'm okay,' he mumbled, fidgeting with some threads sticking out from the blanket on his lap. Louis looked at his face and knew he wasn't. He looked too pale and too thin. He also noticed all the medications on the coffee table.

 

'Harry can we talk?' Louis asked him. Harry didn't move or say anything. 'Why did you tell your friends you slipped on sleet and hurt your back? Why didn't you tell them what I did?' Harry shrugged.

 

'Its none of their business,' he said in a very low voice. 'You.....you are none of their business. They don't need to know.' Louis felt his throat tighten with emotions.

 

'Harry I am so sorry for what happened. I regret beating you and raping you.....'

 

'You didn't rape me,' Harry cut him off not looking at him. Louis was feeling the tears gathering in his eyes. How could Harry still try to not make him feel bad for what he did?

 

'But I did. I did and I am so so sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to......' he stopped and swallowed hard. He watched Harry shake his head in denial. 'Harry baby.....'

 

'Don't call me that,' Harry said, 'you sent me away. You said you don't want me. You said......'

 

'Baby baby I didn't mean any of it I swear to you. Harry look at me please,' Louis begged him but Harry kept shaking his head. Louis got up and once again dropped to his knees in front of him, looking up into his tear stained face. 'I was cruel and stupid. I beat you and raped you because you said you loved me. I said all those things to you because I couldn't live with myself with what I had done to you. I wanted you to hate me because that's what I deserve. Your hate not your love. You are so kind and so perfect and me? I'm a horrible monster.'

 

'You're not a monster,' Harry said as tears dripped from his eyes.

 

'I hurt you,' Louis said thickly. 'I hurt you so bad Harry. I can never forgive myself for what I did to you. How can I expect you to forgive me?' Harry met Louis' eyes. He took in a deep shuddering breath.

 

'I understand your fetish Louis. Everyone has them.' Louis shook his head.

 

'Its not a fetish Harry. Its more than that. It's complicated. I am very complicated. I am not ready to share my story with you....'

 

'And I'm not asking you to,' Harry stopped him. 'Everyone has their demons and they fight them in their own way they see fit to face another day. You fight them this way.' Harry paused and touched Louis' hand that was on his thigh. 'I forgive you Lou,' he said quietly. In that moment, Louis felt himself go weak inside. He looked into Harry's eyes as he felt a few tears roll down his cheeks. He couldn't hold back anything now.

 

'You forgive me?' he asked him in a small voice he didn't even recognize as his own. 'Just like that? Without even thinking about it?'

 

'I do,' Harry told him. 'What's there to think about? Forgiveness is the beginning of healing.'

 

'But I hurt you so bad baby,' Louis told him.

 

'I'll heal. I will get used to what you do Lou I promise. I just didn't know and you took me by surprise. Next time.....'

 

'Shh shh baby no no. There won't be a next time. I swear to you. I will never ever raise my hand to you ever again. I swear to God. God will strike me dead if I ever hurt you again. And God please call me Lou again,' Louis told him.

 

'Lou,' Harry whispered and Louis was a mess, a heap of brokenness and a shadow of the man Harry knew. 'I love you,' Harry whispered again and his words made more tears fall from Louis' eyes. He made the mistake of flinging himself at Harry to hug him but watched as Harry instinctively flinched back away from him and Louis froze mid hug.

 

'I'm so sorry,' he quickly said. 'You are afraid of me aren't you?'

 

'No,' Harry said quietly.

 

'Don't lie to me. I know you are and I don't blame you,' Louis told him. He got up off the floor and sat down next to Harry who kept his head down. 'Harry its okay. Don't feel bad about it. I would be scared of me too after what you suffered at my hands.'

 

'I don't want to be,' Harry told him softly.

 

'I don't want you to be either,' Louis told him then paused and kept his eyes fixed on Harry. 'Harry, I-I didn't mean for all of this to happen. When you told me you loved me, I-I got confused. I acted out the only way I know how and I know that that is not an excuse.' Louis paused again trying to search for the right words to say because he had never done this before and Anthony had told him that when his mind couldn't work, to let his heart do the talking. 'Harry, I have feelings for you. I've never been in love before or remotely close to having any feelings of this sort for somebody but what I feel for you is strong. It makes me feel bad for what I did. It makes me miss you in everything I do. It makes me feel like I'm half myself without you. These past few days have been hell......'

 

'But I saw you with your dates,' Harry told him in a broken voice. Louis scoffed.

 

'That was me making you hate me. I knew you are always on Twitter all the time so I knew you would see me with them. I made it a point to be papped as much as I could. I wanted you to hate me so bad Harry. They mean nothing to me. Nothing at all. You came into my life and turned it all around for me. So much so that I know I can't be without you. I want you back Harry. I know its too much to ask of you but I really want you back. Please let me make it up to you. Give me a chance to prove I can be.....your boyfriend?' Harry's head snapped up, his red, puffy eyes wide.

 

'Y-y-you w-want to b-b-be my boyfriend?'

 

'If you'll have me and I want to make it official if you want to,' Louis told him his voice full of hope. Harry's eyes went wider.

 

'You want to make me officially your boyfriend? Like the whole world knowing?' Louis chuckled.

 

'Yes baby. If you'll give me a chance. I might not be good at it and I might fuck up things but I'm willing to learn. I'm ready to settle down with you.' Harry's lower lip trembled and he began to cry. All the emotions and pain that had been building up inside him all week came out at Louis' words. Harry covered his face with both his hands and sobbed into them. Louis watched his shoulders shake with his crying and he didn't know what to do because he didn't know why he was crying. Louis' hands hovered over Harry, wanting to touch him and comfort him but not wanting to scare him.

 

'Harry I'm gonna hold you,' Louis warned him right before he wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and pulled him into his chest. 'Its alright love,' Louis told him soothingly, stroking his hair. 'I know I have put you through so much and I promise I will make it better if you only take me back. Please Harry.' Louis kissed the top of his head and held him until gradually, Harry stopped crying and moved out of Louis' embrace. He looked at Louis and sniffed, wiping at his eyes with his sweater paws.

 

'I never left you even though you sent me away. In my heart I never left you Lou,' Harry hiccuped.

 

'So you'll have me? You'll be my boyfriend?' Louis asked him hopefully. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'With all my heart.' Louis smiled.

 

'I'm gonna hug the fuck out of you okay,' he told him and grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him to his chest hugging him so tightly he could feel Harry's heart beating against his own. He kissed the side of his face. 'I won't let you down. I will make you proud to be my boyfriend. I promise.' Harry giggled and buried his face in Louis' neck loving the feel of his warm hoodie. Louis pulled back and looked into Harry's tear stained face.

 

'There's something else I want to ask you. I know its early and maybe too soon but Harry I want you with me all the time. Move in with me?' He saw the shock on Harry's face and before Harry could say anything, he continued: 'My house is big. You can have your own wing if you want but I just want you close to me. I want to have breakfasts with you and dinners and watch your silly shows on the telly. I want your world to enter mine. Harry, I want to take care of you. I want you to need me. To depend on me. I need that really badly. I need to feel valuable to you. I need to know you need me Harry. Please say yes? Can you? Will you? You have to let me protect you. I need to feel like I'm worth something to you.' Louis searched Harry's face for a reaction but he was just gaping at him in pure shock.

 

'Harry say something,' Louis urged him. He was feeling as if Harry would turn him down. Harry chewed on his lower lip then looked at Louis.

 

'On one condition,' he told him.

 

'Name it,' Louis told him immediately.

 

'I don't want my own wing. I want to be where you are,' Harry told him softly.

 

'Deal,' Louis told him happily. Harry gave him a small smile. 'There is only one thing though,' Louis continued. 'There is one thing I won't give up. And that's my basement.' Harry looked at him and swallowed.

 

'I-I'll try and be good for you Lou. You can tie me up and smack me if you want, I-I just need to get used to it. Teach me how to help you fight your demons.' It was Louis' turn to look at him shocked.

 

'No Harry! I'm not asking that of you! I will never ever use a belt on you again. However, I am not ready to give this up. I can't give it up. I need it.' Harry furrowed his brow in confusion.

 

'What do you mean?' Louis sighed.

 

'It means I am not giving up my boys Harry. Nevertheless, I promise you I will not fuck anyone of them. It will be you I will come to right after. I will be committed to you. I swear to you I will not touch another man.' Harry seemed to be weighing his options.

 

'What if I want you to give them up?' Harry asked him quietly. Louis looked at him sadly.

 

'Please don't make me Harry. This thing inside me that makes me do what I do, needs them. If I don't vent it out on them......' Louis let it hang between them.

 

'You might end up taking it out on me again?' Harry asked him. Louis said nothing but Harry knew that Louis was scared that it might happen. Harry reached over and gently squeezed his hand. 'If that's your way of fighting your demons and keeping them at bay then who am I to deny you that?' Again Louis felt the need to cry from being overwhelmed by this beautiful boy. He hugged him again, tighter if that were possible.

 

'Thank you,' Louis whispered in his hair. 'Thank you Harry.' Louis pulled back and looked at him, a smile on his face. 'Shall we go home?'

 

'Now?' Harry asked him.

 

'Now,' Louis told him. 'I want to start being your boyfriend now. I'll pack up somethings for you,' he told him as he got up and went towards Harry's bedroom.

 

'I need to change,' Harry called out.

 

'Don't bother. Angus will pick us up,' Louis replied from Harry's bedroom. He came out carrying a duffle bag full of stuff. 'I only got you the necessities. The rest we will get later. I called Angus and he will be here in 10 minutes.' Harry looked at him baffled.

 

'I'm in pjs and socks,' he complained. Louis leaned down and pecked his lips.

 

'And you're gorgeous,' he told him. 'Now come along.' Harry got up slowly. He was more mobile than he was but he wasn't 100% healed. He picked up all his pills and medications and handed them to Louis to put in his duffle bag as he picked up his back pack and stuffed his laptop, books and stacks of assignments that Niall had brought him. Louis watched him as he shuffled his sock clad feet on the carpet towards him.

 

'Can you make it down the stairs?' Louis asked him.

 

'Yeah I can,' Harry told him and step by step they made their way down to find Angus waiting for them with the car door open. He took Louis' bag and Harry's back pack and put them in the trunk. On the way home, Louis sat as close to Harry as possible.

 

'I need to tell Niall I'll be over at yours. He can't make the rent by himself,' Harry told Louis.

 

'Don't worry about it. I will pay his rent for a full year okay and no hissy fits. Now you are my boyfriend and you have to accept what I give you,' Louis told him jokingly. Harry cuddled closer to him.

 

'I don't need much in ways of material things. You are all I need,' he told him and Louis felt himself glow from the inside out.

 

Once they got home, Louis took Harry upstairs while Angus got their bags. Harry felt glad to be back and he hobbled towards the guest bedroom.

 

'Where are you going?' Louis asked him curiously.

 

'To m-my bedroom,' Harry told him. Louis walked over to him and took his hand.

 

'That's not your room any more,' he told him as he tugged his hand gently towards a door at the end of the hallway. He opened the door and took him into his room. 'This is your room now.' Harry's mouth fell open as he took in Louis' beautiful room. It was big with two large windows overlooking the garden. Both windows had cushioned window seats. The walls were a light grey and the carpet royal blue. The duvet and curtains were a darker grey. The furniture was all black and shiny. The bed was big and on it there were lots of pillows and cushions in greys and blues. Across from the bed Harry could see a large bathroom and on the far side there was a walk in closet that looked as big as Harry's whole apartment. Louis watched him as he took in his new bedroom.

 

'You like it?' Louis asked him.

 

'You are letting me stay in here?' Harry asked him back. He knew that Louis never let anyone in his room.

 

'Yes its our room now. I told you I want you with me all the time.' Harry looked at him with adoration in his eyes.

 

'I love you so much,' he whispered and Louis wanted to say it back but he didn't know how. He felt it rolling around in his mouth but he wasn't ready to say it. Instead he looked at Harry fondly.

 

'How about a hot shower hmm?' Harry nodded and began walking into the bathroom just as a knock came at the door. Louis opened and found Jarvis with Harry's bags.

 

'Thank you,' Louis told him. He put the bags by the bed and walked into the bathroom and froze on the spot. Harry was naked, his back to him and Louis saw first hand the physical evidence of the damage he had inflicted upon him. His bum and back of the thighs down to the back of his knees where criss crossed with 3 inch wide welts. They looked horrifying. His skin was all greenish and yellowish where the welts were and some of them where a dark shade of red, like blood had congealed under the skin with scabs on them where Harry had bled when the leather broke the surface of the skin. Louis felt his heart clench painfully in his chest because he had never before seen the results of his actions. He had never cared until now! He felt awful and disgusted with himself that he had hurt Harry in such a bad way. Louis put a hand to his mouth to stifle a sob but Harry heard him and turned around to face him only for Louis to see the red horizontal blade cuts on both his arms. Harry saw the shocked horrified look on Louis' face and how his eyes were full of tears.

 

'Louis its okay. I'll heal. I'm healing. With the treatments and medications I'll be good as new soon. Please don't feel bad about it,' Harry begged him urgently not wanting Louis to feel bad.

 

'What...what did they tell you at hospital? What is the extent of the damage I did?' Louis asked him.

 

'Louis please. Its past now. Let it go.'

 

'Tell me!' he insisted.

 

'Why?' Harry asked him. 'So you can beat yourself about it some more? Haven't you done enough of that already?'

 

'It will never be enough,' Louis told him hoarsely. 'And those cuts. Why did you hurt yourself over a piece of shit like me?' Louis told him as he walked closer to him. He took one of his arms in his hands and looked at the cuts. He bent down and placed soft kisses on them. 'Don't ever hurt your beautiful self again Harry. Not for someone like me. Now tell me what they said at hospital. I saw all your pain killers and anti inflammatory tablets.' Harry sighed resigned and in brief, not giving him much details, told him what Dr. Blake had found. Louis listened with tears in his eyes. When Harry fell silent, Louis took in a deep breath.

 

'Tomorrow I will call into work and take a few days off. I will take care of you Harry. And I know you have fallen back on your studies because of me and your exams are coming up, so tomorrow I will find a tutor for you and he will come here and tutor you for your exams while you heal. I will not let you fail.'

 

'Louis you don't have to,' Harry began to protest but Louis put his hand up to stop him.

 

'Please let me. I need to feel good about myself Harry and if you don't let me do something for you I will go crazy. Now, take a hot shower. Are you hungry? I'll go and fix you something to eat while you shower so you can take your pills yeah.' Harry nodded, deciding to let Louis pamper him if it was what he needed.

 

 

An hour later, Harry was snuggled up in Louis' bed, wrapped up in Louis' arms under the warm quilt. He had eaten a sandwich that Louis had made himself ,drank his chamomille tea and had taken his medications and was slowly drifting off to sleep peacefully for the first time in a week as Louis played with his hair.

 

And Louis held him, Harry's head on his chest, his arm wrapped around Louis' waist, snuggling him further into his side. Louis was glad that Harry had at least let him hold him because he couldn't bare it to see him flinch every time Louis made to touch him or take a step backwards when Louis moved closer to him. At least now he was sleeping peacefully, safe in his arms and Louis couldn't be happier. He placed a kiss on his head.

 

'I love you,' he whispered to a sleeping Harry. It felt good coming out of his mouth. It felt right and Louis made up his mind that as soon as the opportunity came, he would tell him these three little words that meant so much.

 

Louis was slowly beginning to drift to sleep as well when he felt Harry shift in his arms. At first Louis thought that Harry just wanted to find a better position but he began to mumble in his sleep. His shifting became more restless and his breathing turned to gasps.

 

'No. No Louis p-please no. Don't. Don't Louis don't!!!! Stop!! Stop!!' he screamed as he jolted up and sat bolt upright up in bed, panting hard and in a cold sweat. Louis stared at him when he realized that Harry had been having a nightmare and that he was the lead role in it. Just then Harry turned to look at him and Louis saw the fear etched on his face, his eyes wide as he shook his head.

 

'No no no no no,' Harry said as he backed away from him. Louis held out his hands.

'Harry its okay. It was just a dream. I'm not gonna hurt you,' he told him as he slid out of bed and moved as far away from Harry as possible. Harry seemed to have come to his senses and out of his nightmare and realized that he must've shouted out loud just like he had done the past nights when the nightmares of what Louis had done to him had returned to haunt him at night. Harry lowered his head in shame.

 

'I'm so sorry Louis. I-I didn't mean.....' he whimpered.

 

'Don't be sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry for giving you nightmares. Its still too early to be close to you. I'll just go and sleep in the guestroom for now yeah,' Louis told him sadly as he backed away from the bed towards the door. Harry looked at him with pleading eyes.

 

'Please don't leave me again,' he told him making grabby hands at Louis. 'Stay with me Louis. Just hold me. Please? Can you?' Harry begged him. Louis stood there looking uncertain. It hurt him that Harry was having nightmares about him. He was the monster in his dreams. He haunted him yet Harry wanted him to hold him. He was the nightmare that could make his nightmare go away. How ironic!

 

'Harry, I don't want to scare you any more than you already are. I'll be just down the hall.' Harry's face crumpled.

 

'I'm so sorry. Please don't go. I just got you back. You don't scare me Louis. I-its just my mind. Craig said it will take time but honestly I'm not scared of you. Please stay with me,' Harry pleaded with him and who was Louis to say no to him even though his heart was breaking?

 

'Alright,' he told him as he climbed back into bed. No sooner was he in, Harry wrapped himself around him, holding him tightly. Louis pulled the duvet over them and pulled Harry closer.

 

 

'Sleep love,' Louis told him. 'I'm staying right here with you yeah, taking care of you.' Harry buried his face in his chest and soon he was snoring softly. Louis stayed awake, comforting Harry when he trashed and screamed out in his dreams but finally, as the damn was approaching, Louis closed his eyes and let sleep and tiredness over take him and he succumbed to it.

 

 

Chapter 13 coming soon...............


	13. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys here's another update. Just wanted to let you know that for the next week I will not be updating as I am flying to London to see Harry on the 11th and 12th at the O2. I will update once I get back. I am very excited and I can hardly contain myself.   
> Also a big thank you for your comments and kudos. I am sorry to see that some people are not liking my story because of certain things that happened. All I can say is : this is a fic. I have a story in mind and I will keep on writing it as planned in my head. Things will be explained further on as to why things have happened the way they have. I have put up warnings in the beginning and also at the chapter's beginning where is was deemed necessary. Louis is messed up so seriously, what did you expect? Also for those of you who were wondering, yes Anthony and Louis are friends. Further in the story you will see that they have known each other for a long time and surpassed the doctor/patient relationship.   
> Anyway, I will leave you with the next chapter and another thank you to you all and see you when I get back, if Harry lets me live.  
> All the love  
> M.

The Aftermath.

 

Love changes, changes everything

Love makes you fly it can break your wings

Love changes, changes everything

Love makes the rules from fools to kings

Love changes, love changes everything.

 

 

Louis rolled out of bed at 9:15 am careful not to wake up Harry. He sat on his side of the bed, with his bare feet on the carpet, rubbing his tired eyes. He felt as if he hadn't slept at all, which he hardly had. Harry had had a restless night, whimpering and moaning in his sleep, sometimes full out yelling which had kept Louis awake, calming him down and soothing him back to sleep. He looked over his shoulder at the still sleeping boy in his bed and knew that if for the rest of his life he wouldn't get another good night's sleep, he still wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Harry was curled in on himself, tangled in the duvet, his messy hair everywhere, mouth slightly open. He looked peaceful now and tranquil. Louis got up and stretched, his bones creaking. He opened the door quietly and padded out onto the landing, closing the door softly behind him. He walked downstairs urgently in need of some caffeine in his system. The house was quiet. Usually work around the house started after he left for work so since it was still 9:15 am, the house was still relatively quiet. He padded into the kitchen and saw Judy putting groceries away.

 

'Good morning,' he told her sleepily, yawning loudly. Judy turned and smiled at him.

 

'Good morning Sir. How did you leave Harry yesterday?' she asked him eagerly. Louis smiled to himself. She had probably been wanting to ask him that question since last night.

 

'He's here Judy. He's asleep in my room,' he told her and watched her eyes go wide and her mouth open into a silent O. She clasped both her hands on her bosom as if in prayer and her eyes welled up with tears.

 

'Oh Sir, you brought him home! How is he? Did he sleep?' Louis sighed heavily.

 

'He was restless most of the night,' he said quietly as if he was deep in thought.

 

'The nightmares?' Judy asked him and Louis nodded. 'Yes I was there one afternoon when he was asleep and I was doing his laundry and he woke up screaming.' Judy stopped not wanting to go into further detail about Harry's nightmares but Louis knew.

 

'I gave them to him,' he said barely above a whisper. 'He's afraid of me.' Judy placed her hand over Louis' and squeezed it gently.

 

'Love heals Sir. He will heal. He is strong and he has you. He came back didn't he? Means he's not afraid of you as much as you think he is,' Judy told him with a smile. 'Shall I make breakfast?' Louis nodded.

 

'Yes but can I just have a cup of coffee for myself and a mug of tea for Harry please? I don't want him to wake up and not find me there next to him. I am taking a few days off work to take care of him,' Louis told her and Judy smiled happily.

 

'That is wonderful Sir,' Judy told him as she turned to go make the tea and coffee.

 

'Judy,' Louis called out stopping her before she walked into the kitchen. She turned and looked at him expectantly. 'Thank you for all you did for him. Thank you for turning your back on me and going to him when he needed it the most. Thank you for putting me in my place when I was out of line. Nobody ever did that so thank you. I appreciate all you did for us.'

 

'You're welcome anytime Sir. I just want to see you both happy. You deserve it,' she told him as she went off to make the tea. She came back after ten minutes and handed Louis a mug of black coffee and a mug of tea with more milk in it than tea. Louis thanked her, took the mugs and headed upstairs. As he walked into the hallway, he saw Leonard.

 

'Leonard hi good morning,' Louis stopped him. 'I need a favor. Could you please gather the staff in about half an hour in the dining room please? I need to inform them of some changes that will be happening around the house.'

 

'Yes Sir of course,' Leonard told him.

 

'Thank you,' Louis said as he went upstairs. He opened the door with his elbow, walked in and closed it softly behind him. Harry was still asleep. Louis walked over to Harry's side and placed the hot beverages on the bedside table then sat down beside Harry. He watched him sleep, his face relaxed and peaceful, the frown lines between his eyes all smooth. No worries or fears were etched on his beautiful face. He was breathing slowly and softly and Louis hated to wake him up because he knew that when he did, all this peacefulness about him will be gone. He will be tense again and furrow his brows and look down and fidget. But he had to wake him up. He had to take his medications soon. Louis touched his cheek ever so softly not wanting to startle him.

 

'Harry,' he called softly. He watched him shuffle a little and his eye lids flutter and Louis mentally braced himself. For what, he did not know exactly but he expected Harry to scamper away from him screaming as soon as he opened his eyes fixing, him with that horrified stare that had become so familiar to Louis. Louis didn't want to see the fear in his eyes whenever he looked at him. It killed him. So he braced himself for rejection. Harry opened his eyes slowly, adjusting his vision to the dim light. His eyes rested on Louis. And he smiled a little. Louis felt his heart soar.

 

'Good morning,' Louis told him and Harry's smile got a little wider.

 

'Good morning,' he mumbled in his deep raspy morning voice that Louis had missed so much. 'What time is it?' Harry asked as he sat up a little, resting his shoulders against the headboard.

 

'Nine thirty,' Louis told him. 'How did you sleep? I brought you tea.' Louis handed him the hot mug which Harry gratefully took. Harry took a sip and swallowed, the hot tea soothing his dry throat.

 

'I slept okay,' he said then looked down away from Louis and the frown lines between his eyebrows appeared. 'I-I'm s-sorry about the n-nightmares. I- I don't.....'

 

'Shh shh its okay baby. It's to be expected and I am so sorry for giving them to you but I promise I will do my best to help you get rid of them Harry,' Louis promised him. He wanted to so badly kiss that pout away from his lips but he didn't dare move too close. Harry kept his eyes on the duvet but said nothing.

 

'Okay,' Louis told him trying to lighten up the mood. 'We have a lot to do today. First breakfast. Then we look for a tutor for you. Then we start on your assignments. How does that sound?' Harry looked up at him from beneath his eyelashes.

 

'Sounds good,' he said, a smile playing on his lips. Louis smiled back at him.

 

'Lovely,' he said as he picked up his coffee cup. 'A toast. To new beginnings and to a beautiful day ahead,' he told him as he gently touched his coffee mug to Harry's tea mug. Harry giggled and Louis couldn't be happier to hear that sound coming out of his mouth. He wanted to make it all better for him. He wanted to erase all the bad stuff and start a new as boyfriends. He was slowly settling into the title of being Harry's boyfriend and he liked it. When they were finished with their tea and coffee, Louis held out his hand to Harry.

 

'Shall we go for breakfast?' he asked him with a smile. 'I know someone is going to be very happy to see you.' Harry nodded and put his hand in Louis' as Louis helped him out of bed, bringing Harry's body close to his. They both felt the awkwardness of it, the tension but neither one of them moved. Louis could feel Harry's warmth radiating off of him and he so badly wanted to wrap his arms around him and pull him closer but he didn't know if he should or if he even could. He noticed Harry looking at him and what was he expecting exactly? What did he want? Did he want Louis to hold him? Louis looked at his lips and moved a little closer tentatively but Harry moved back an inch turning his face and looking down. Louis stopped.

 

'I-I need to um b-brush my teeth,' Harry stammered and Louis only nodded, trying to hide his disappointment and hurt because he knew it was an excuse. Harry had never bothered kissing Louis before in the mornings before he brushed his teeth. Louis gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand.

 

'Let's go for breakfast yeah,' he told him and Harry nodded. Louis was grateful that Harry let him hold his hand. They walked down the stairs and together they entered the dining room and Harry was surprised to see all the staff gathered there. He went to pull his hand out of Louis' but Louis held it tighter and squeezed it reassuringly.

 

'It's okay,' he whispered to Harry. Harry felt his face turn hot. He noticed Angus and Jarvis smiling at him and Judy who was beside herself, grinning and almost clapping her hands. Leonard was there beside Judy and a few other faces that Harry had not seen before.

 

'Good morning,' Louis told them as he threw another look at Harry. 'Just wanted to introduce you to Mr. Harry Styles. Harry is my boyfriend and he will be living here. He just moved in so please do treat him the same way you treat me alright?' There were a few gasps of surprise around the staff. Louis paused and looked at Harry who was blushing furiously and looking down at the floor. Louis squeezed his hand then turned back to his staff. 'Please make sure he feels welcome and comfortable here and I trust you will see to that. Thank you. You may return to your jobs.' Just as everyone went off to carry on with their jobs, Judy came rushing over to them and just wrapped her arms around Harry pulling him into a tight hug.

 

'Welcome home,' she whispered in his ear and Harry felt as if he was close to tears because he did feel as if he had come home.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered back. Judy pulled away and looked at both of them.

 

'Breakfast now?' she asked them happily.

 

'Yes please Judy,' Louis told her. 'We are starving.' Judy nodded and went back into the kitchen to start up their breakfast. Louis turned to look at Harry.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked him. 'Did I step out of line or something?' Harry looked at him and Louis could see the tears in his eyes.

 

'No you didn't,' Harry said, speaking softly. 'I-I just d-didn't except it.' Louis tried to gauge Harry's reaction by looking at his face but Harry was giving nothing away. Since when did he become a closed book?

 

'Did I do wrong?' Louis asked him in a low voice. 'Did I rush in telling them that we are boyfriends and that you moved in with me?' He hated to feel insecure but he had brought about this insecurity between them. Harry shook his head and moved closer to Louis and took his hand.

 

'No you didn't. I'm happy you did,' he told him as he placed a soft kiss on Louis' cheek. As if by instinct Louis lifted his arms to hug Harry but stopped himself, his arms still raised mid-air undecided about what to do but Harry stepped closer to him.

 

'Its okay,' Harry told him, giving him permission and Louis enclosed him in his arms hugging him tightly. He felt Harry's arms go around his waist and Louis closed his eyes, sighing in relief that he could get to hold his baby, that his baby was allowing him to hold him. Louis placed a kiss on his temple. It was all so innocent but it was a start.

 

'Thank you,' Louis whispered and Harry squeezed his waist a little tighter. Louis pulled back and gave him a smile. 'C'mon,' he told him, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen. They sat side by side on the stools at the breakfast bar and they ate in relative silence. When they were done and they were just sipping their tea, Louis looked at Harry over the rim of his cup.

 

'How about we go into my study and we can start working on your assignments and finding you a tutor hmm?'

 

'Okay,' Harry told him. As soon as they were finished, Louis led them into his study. As soon as Harry was inside, his mouth dropped open. The room was big, with windows over looking the garden. It had a deep red carpet fitted all around the room and a big mahogany desk with a black leather executive chair, its back to the garden. But what had caught Harry's attention were the books!

 

'You have a library!' he exclaimed looking around at the floor to ceiling mahogany bookshelves stacked with books. Louis chuckled.

 

'I do. I love to read and collect books,' he told Harry as the younger boy walked around the room tracing his fingers along spines of books and reading titles.

 

'Wow,' Harry exclaimed again. 'This is like heaven.' Louis walked up beside him and looked into his excited face, his green eyes as large as saucers.

 

'Well its all yours baby,' Louis told him and Harry turned to face him, a look of awe on his face.

 

'Really?' he asked him. Louis slowly raised his hand and cupped his cheek, hoping Harry wouldn't flinch or move away but he didn't.

 

'Yes baby. Its yours,' Louis told him and he saw Harry's eyes cloud over. He turned his face slightly and placed a kiss into Louis palm.

 

'Thank you Lou,' he whispered. Louis' hand moved to the back of his neck and he pulled him a little closer, placing a kiss in his forehead.

 

'Anything for you. I just hope you will be happy here with me Harry,' Louis told him, his voice sad. Harry put his hands on Louis waist, his thumbs drawing circles in Louis skin just above the waistband of his sweats.

 

'I am. I will be. I-I just n-need some time,' Harry whispered. Louis placed his lips against Harry's forehead again.

 

'It's okay baby. I know its all my fault but I'll be here with you through it all. If you'll let me.' Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and pulled him closer, burying his face in his neck.

 

'I need you Lou,' he said in a choked voice and Louis held him, running his hands gently up and down his back.

 

'You have me baby. You have me,' Louis promised him and he was amazed by Harry's strength, at how he could need the person that ruined him to make him better. They pulled apart and Louis indicated his large desk. 'You can work there. You won't be disturbed in here. I have some calls to make work related, see if everything is running smoothly in my absence and check if I have any video conferences for today which I can do from here. Also, I'll make a few calls to get you a tutor.' Harry nodded and picked up his backpack which was already in the study and took a seat in the executive chair, pulled out his laptop and notes and began working. Louis sat in a leather armchair across the desk, took out his phone and began making his phone calls.

 

After about two whole hours of working on his assignments, Harry leaned back in the leather chair and stretched, working his neck this way and that and rubbing out his sore fingers from typing and writing. Louis looked at him as he talked to Lynn on the phone giving her instructions on what to do in his absence. As soon as he hung up he asked Harry:

 

'Tired?'

 

'Mhm,' Harry replied still working his neck muscles. 'I'm sore.' Louis got up and walked over to him, standing behind his chair.

 

'May I?' he asked him and Harry nodded. Louis began gently massaging his neck and shoulders, kneading the stiff muscles with his thumbs. Harry closed his eyes and relaxed, letting out a soft moan.

 

'Good?' Louis asked him.

 

'Good,' Harry replied. Louis continued to work his muscles.

 

'How about we have a break hmm? I can ask Judy to make us some lunch and we can sit out and eat on the patio. The weather is not too bad today even though its grey and a little chilly so you might need to go and grab yourself a sweater,' Louis suggested.

 

'Okay,' Harry agreed. 'I need the bathroom first though. Is there one down here?

 

'There are two. One just off the kitchen and one down the corridor past the stairs,' Louis informed him.

 

'Thank you,' Harry told him as he got up and began walking towards the door.

 

'I'll meet you in the kitchen,' Louis told him before Harry walked out.

 

 

Harry took a bit of a long while to get back and Louis was beginning to wonder if he had gotten lost so he went to look for him. As he passed by the stairs, he noticed that the basement door was wide open and a sudden feeling of fear gripped him, immobilizing him to the spot. His heart beat frantically in his chest as panic took over while a horrid thought formed in his head. A thought he prayed was not real and that the door had accidentally been left open by Jarvis when he had gone down to clean the basement. He took a shaky step towards the door and looked down the steep cement stairs leading down beneath the house. Louis gulped and felt a cold sweat break out all over his body as if he had been attacked by a sudden fever. Trembling with dread, he began to climb down the stairs. The door to his special room was wide open too and his fear increased.

 

Louis held his breath as he stood motionless on the threshold, not knowing what he would find once he stepped into the room. He took in a deep shaky breath and stepped into the room but it was empty. He exhaled slowly, feeling relief flooding through him but his relief was short lived. He heard a quiet whimper from behind him and he turned as if in slow motion, feeling like he was in some horror movie, to find Harry sitting beside the door, his back to the wall, his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His eyes were glazed and wet, fixed unblinking on the bed in front of him. His lower lip was trembling, soft whimpers leaving his parted lips and his body was shaking like a leaf. He was pale and sweaty and Louis knew he would never be able to erase the terrified look that was etched on Harry's face from his memory if he lived to be a hundred!

 

He stood there transfixed watching the boy he loved lost inside his own mind, taken over by fear, thrown into a dark place that was so familiar to Louis, a dark place that he himself had sent Harry to.

 

You sent him to the same hell you were sent to!

 

'Harry,' Louis whispered, afraid to talk loudly because he didn't want to startle Harry but at the sound of his voice, Harry shook violently. Louis didn't know what to do to break him out of it. Ever so carefully, he got down on his knees and sat back on his haunches to be level with Harry. He stayed away from him, not wanting to get too close. Harry was still staring vacantly ahead.

 

'Harry,' Louis called out softly again. Harry's eyes flickered to him as if recognition took place suddenly inside his mind. For a brief second, Harry's eyes met Louis'. Harry began shaking his head.

 

'No. No. Don't touch me,' he rasped out. Louis held up his hands to show him that he wasn't going to touch him.

 

'Harry please,' Louis begged him though for what he wasn't even sure. He just wanted to help him, to bring him out of his dark place but Harry scampered back away from him, backing himself in the corner, his eyes wide and wild, terrified.

 

'Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Please don't touch me!' he repeated in a broken voice as if it was a mantra.

 

'Harry I'm not going to touch you,' Louis reassured him but Harry pressed himself further into the corner, trying to make himself as small as possible. He screwed his eyes tightly shut.

 

'Don't hurt me!' he said, his voice rising. 'Louis please don't! Don't! Don't!' His voice had now risen to an almost scream and Louis couldn't take it anymore.

 

'Don't hurt me!' Harry screamed. 'Don't hurt me!'

 

Louis couldn't stand seeing Harry like this, terrified and scared of him. It killed him inside and the guilt of what he had done to him was suffocating him. He got up and rushed out of the room, not wanting to hurt Harry anymore with his presence. He felt about ready to burst into tears from the pain inside his chest as he took the steps two at a time, still hearing Harry screaming from downstairs for him not to touch him and not to hurt him.

 

'Jarvis! Jarvis!' he called out urgently as he emerged into the lobby, hurrying on the way to the kitchen. As soon as he stepped foot into the kitchen, Judy saw him looking all upset.

 

'Sir whatever is the matter? Are you ill?' she asked him with worry in her voice.

 

'Harry,' he said. 'He's in the basement. I need Jarvis. Now!' Judy's eyes went wide and a horrified look crossed her features.

 

'Sir y-you didn't? Not again?' she asked him, tears already gathering in her eyes. For a moment Louis was put off by what she was saying but then he saw the terrified look on her face and he got the meaning of her words.

 

'Good God Judy no! What the hell are you thinking? I haven't! I wouldn't! I just found him down there. He's freaking out and he doesn't want my help so I need Jarvis,' he explained to her. Judy relaxed a little at his words, sighing in relief. Just then Jarvis walked into the kitchen.

 

'Jarvis!' Louis said in relief. 'There you are. Please go into the basement and take Harry up to our room.' Louis didn't miss the worried exchanged glance between Jarvis and Judy.

 

'For fuck's sake I didn't fucking hurt him!' he yelled, all his frustration coming out. 'I didn't fucking touch him. He just went down there. He's freaking out and he doesn't want me to fucking touch him so I-I can't help him,' he said resigned. 'He- he doesn't want me near him so please Jarvis, take him up to our room. I don't want him down there and from now on please make sure that that door is locked at all times and the key put somewhere where he can't find it.'

 

'Yes Sir,' Jarvis told him as he headed off to the basement to take care of Harry. Louis sat down on the kitchen stool for the first time in his life he felt completely lost and deflated. This was beyond his control and he was feeling very frustrated and angry with himself.

 

'I'll make you a cup of coffee,' Judy offered when she saw him looking worried.

 

'I need something stronger. A whiskey please,' he told her. Judy nodded and went off to get him his whiskey. Louis had to do something to help Harry. He couldn't stand by and watch him have these episodes. They weren't good for Harry. He pulled out his phone and went to his contacts. He found Anthony and hit dial. Anthony answered after the first two rings.

 

'Louis how are we today?' Anthony asked him cheerily.

 

'Not good,' Louis told him glumly. 'Not good at all. Can you make a house call? Its urgent.'

 

'Louis are you alright?' Anthony asked him with a hint of worry in his voice. Louis sighed.

 

'No I'm not but Harry needs you more than I do. Please come quickly. I-I don't know what to do.'

 

'Okay Louis no worries. I will be there in thirty minutes alright. Stay calm.'

 

'Thank you Anthony,' Louis told him and hung up. Judy walked in and handed him his whiskey which he gulped down in one swallow. Just then Jarvis entered the kitchen.

 

'He's upstairs in your room Sir,' Jarvis informed him.

 

'How is he?'

 

'He seems calmer but like he is in shock,' Jarvis told him. Louis scoffed.

 

'Of course he is. He is living with his nightmare, who wouldn't be in shock.' Louis got up and walked out of the kitchen and headed back to his study.

 

 

A knock on the door brought Louis out of his worrying thoughts which all centerd around Harry.

 

'Come in,' he said as he knocked back another swallow of whiskey. He knew he shouldn't be drinking but he also knew that he shouldn't have hurt Harry and gave him nightmares so what the fuck did it really matter if he was knocking back whiskey this early in the afternoon? The door opened and Jarvis peeked in.

 

'Dr. Miles is here to see you Sir,' Jarvis informed him as he pushed the door further open, allowing Anthony access into Louis' study. Immediately Anthony saw that Louis was not in a good place at all. He reminded him of the days when he was too lost to be reached.

 

'Louis, how are you?' Anthony asked him deeply concerned for the man.

 

'Bad,' Louis told him. 'I used to think I was bad before but nothing compares to this.' Anthony sat down in the chair opposite the desk and faced Louis.

 

'You want to tell me what happened since yesterday?' Anthony asked him. Louis took in a deep breath, held it and exhaled slowly.

 

'Short version. I persuaded Harry to give me another chance and to forgive me which he did without even stopping to bat an eyelash. I persuaded him to move in here with me which he agreed to in a heartbeat, only, he is terrified of me. I gave him fucking nightmares. I am his Goddamn nightmare that wakes him up in the middle of the night screaming in terror and drenched in sweat, scared out of his fucking mind. Today, I find him in the basement and he was catatonic. I bet if he saw Satan himself before him he wouldn't have been half as terrified as he had been to see me down there, shaking and crying hysterically begging me not to fucking hurt him and not to touch him. That, Anthony is what happened since yesterday,' Louis told him as he swallowed another shot of whiskey.

 

'Wow I was not expecting that plot twist but clearly Harry is not stable and he needs my help as much as you do,' Anthony told him.

 

'I can handle myself,' Louis told him sourly, pouring himself another whiskey.

 

'Can you?' Anthony challenged. 'Is that why you are getting drunk at barely one in the afternoon?' Louis shrugged.

 

'It numbs the pain.' Anthony leaned forward in his chair.

 

'It will only mask it for a while Louis. It will still be there when you are sober again. What you did to Harry is wrong on so many levels and I can understand your guilt and self flagellation. There is no way of condoning what you did but it happened. You were clinically certified by me as suffering from severe depression due to your violent past and you being bipolar doesn't help much either but you made a mistake. One horrible mistake but you cannot keep punishing yourself for it or paying for it for the rest of your life. You are already being punished enough as it is seeing the man you love terrified of you. Let that be your punishment and its hurting you very bad. So how about we make you and Harry better hmm? Where is he?'

 

'In my bedroom,' Louis said. Anthony heaved himself out of the chair.

 

'I will go and talk to him. Do you prefer I talk to him alone or would you like to be present?' Louis gave him an annoyed look.

 

'Anthony I just told you he doesn't fucking want me near him. I need to stay away from him as far as this big ass house allows. It was a big fucking mistake bringing him here.'

 

'That is what you think though. Why don't we see what Harry thinks before you hurt yourself jumping to conclusions hmm?' Anthony told him. Louis nodded and Anthony left the study. He knew where Louis' room was as he had been here before, on those days when Louis had been too bad to make it out of bed and to go to his office.

 

Once outside Louis' bedroom door, Anthony knocked and when he heard a faint "come in", he opened the door and walked inside to find a beautiful curly haired boy sitting on the window seat, his head resting against the glass pane, knees to his chest watching the rain. Anthony closed the door behind him and walked further into the room stopping a few feet away from Harry.

 

'Hello Harry. I am Dr. Miles but you may call me Anthony. Louis called me,' Anthony told him by way of explanation.

 

'Hello,' Harry greeted him but his voice was emotionless and detached. Harry never even looked at him.

 

'May I sit?' Anthony asked him. Harry simply shrugged so Anthony pulled a chair and sat right in front of Harry.

 

'What kind of doctor are you?' Harry asked him still looking out the window at the rain.

 

'I am a psychiatrist,' Anthony told him. Harry was silent for a while then ever so slowly he turned his head and looked at Anthony.

 

'Does Louis think I'm crazy?' he asked him softly. Anthony gave the boy a smile.

 

'No he does not. He is just worried about you,' Anthony explained. Harry looked down sadly.

 

'He shouldn't,' he said quietly. 'I mean I shouldn't be worrying him but...but.' He stopped as he felt himself choking on a lump that had formed in his throat. Anthony studied Harry's reactions, how he fidgeted and how immensely emotional he was.

 

'Want to tell me what happened with you and Louis?' Anthony coaxed him gently. He wanted to hear Harry's version of things even though he already knew everything from what Louis had told him. Harry remained silent, looking down chewing on his bottom lip nervously and playing with his long fingers.

 

'Harry, Louis has already told me everything that's happened, what he did to you.' Harry's head snapped up and his eyes met Anthony's.

 

'He didn't rape me,' he blurted out quickly, keeping his eyes fixed on Anthony. They were wide and a little wet but Anthony was trained to see things that were not said and Harry's eyes said much more than his lips were saying. Harry's eyes belied his words. Harry's eyes held fear.

 

'Okay Harry so what Louis did to you, what was that?' Anthony asked him gently. Harry shrugged and looked down again, picking at the skin around his fingers.

 

'It was just angry sex. He was angry. I made him mad and he...he just...it was angry sex that's all.' Anthony nodded taking in Harry's words.

 

'That may be so,' he agreed with Harry, 'but if it was like you say, angry sex, then why are you terrified of Louis? Why don't you want him near you? Why is he giving you nightmares?' Harry felt his face burn up, feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

 

'I don't mean to,' he said in a small voice. 'Nobody ever had angry sex with me before. I mean, nobody ever had sex with me before Louis. He was my first. I just...I was surprised by it that's all.'

 

'He hurt you Harry,' Anthony told him stressing out the words for Harry to understand. Harry was shaking his head even before Anthony had finished speaking his words.

 

'It wasn't his fault. I made him mad. I have been thinking a lot about that night and I know that I made him angry. I upset him....'

 

'Harry its not your fault,' Anthony was quick to stop him. 'He still had no right....'

 

'Its what he does!' Harry said raising his voice a little. 'Its who he is....'

 

'No Harry that does not excuse.....' Harry stood up suddenly and it was only then that Anthony realized how tall he was. Harry looked down on Anthony.

 

'Stop blaming Louis,' he hissed angrily. 'It happened! He can't help what he does or how he reacts. I feel bad that I am worrying him and that he sees me frightened of him. I don't mean to. I mean, I am not scared of him. Its just...it's just sometimes I react without thinking and I hate that.' Harry was breathing harshly clearly he was upset.

 

'So what happens the next time you make him mad and he loses his temper?'

 

'He won't. He promised me that he won't. I believe him and I trust him,' Harry told him. Anthony nodded again pondering his next question.

 

'And will you let him touch you sexually again? Are you ready to be intimate with him Harry?' Anthony asked him knowing full well the impact of his question would have on Harry. Harry was completely thrown off by Anthony's question as he was not expecting it. He chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully then looked at Anthony.

 

'Please help me not be afraid of him,' Harry asked him in a pleading voice.

 

'That's not what I asked you Harry,' Anthony pointed out. Harry sat back down on the window seat and looked at him with pleading eyes.

 

'If I am not afraid of him I can let him touch me again. I see how he looks at me when I freak out and its hurting him. I don't want to hurt him.'

 

'How about we talk about what's hurting you Harry?' Harry huffed out a breath.

 

'What hurts me is being apart from him, that my stupid brain makes me scared of him.....'

 

'Harry!' Anthony snapped at him, making the younger boy flinch and look up at him in surprise. 'He beat you and sexually forced himself into you.That is why you are scared of him because he raped you. Your body has its own defense mechanism and when Louis is close to you, it reacts to the danger he has put you in.' Harry covered his ears with both his hands.

 

'Stop saying that!' he screamed. 'Why does everyone keep saying that he raped me? He didn't! Louis is not a rapist! He didn't! He didn't!' Anthony reached a hand out to Harry but Harry shied away from him.

 

'Okay Harry calm down. Calm down.' Harry was visibly shaking. He didn't mean to lose his control but he couldn't hear anymore about Louis and how he had hurt him. Couldn't they see that it was in the past now?

 

'I-I just want us to go back to how we used to be before....' he mumbled. Anthony studied him for a moment.

 

'For that to happen, you need to admit to what happened Harry. To what Louis did to you then you can start moving past it. If you both love each other so much, which I can tell that you do, you will move past it together but Harry you need to face it,' Anthony explained.

 

'I have faced it,' Harry told him. 'I forgave him.'

 

'Then look me in the eyes and tell me that Louis raped you,' Anthony challenged him. Harry shook his head and remained silent.

 

'Tell me Harry,' Anthony pushed. 'Say it.' But Harry just remained silent, the tears falling down on his cheeks. Anthony sighed.

 

'Harry the fact that you can't even admit what happened to yourself is what's going to set the great divide between you and Louis. Louis admits it and he's sorry and he's beating himself over it harshly but its a start to working his way through it. But he can't do it alone. He needs you beside him, with him. He needs to hear you say it. He needs you to acknowledge what he did to you. He needs to you confront him with it. I think a part of him wanted you to be mad and angry with him because he could understand that, where it was coming from. Anger he can understand but the fact that you received him the way you have, the way you simply forgave him and not given him grief for it, well, that weighs him down a lot. The fact that you still want to be with him and accepted to move in with him after what he did to you, baffles him and he's having a hard time getting to grips with it.'

 

Harry was still crying softly, occasionally hiccuping and sniffing back his tears. He kept his eyes on his socked feet.

 

'I love him,' he said quietly through his tears. 'Please help me get better.' Anthony let out a puff of air from between his lips seeing that Harry was not going to admit to what Louis had done, instead choosing to lie to himself and keep the ordeal locked inside of him. Anthony knew only too well the damage that would do to him. It would only grow and build and fester inside of Harry turning him into a ticking time bomb.

 

'Okay Harry, I will help you,' he finally spoke up. 'We need to talk some more about this though so I will tell Louis to book you in for another few sessions with me. The same goes for Louis. I need to see you both. I will prescribe something for you to help keep you calm and sleep better alright.' Harry nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

 

'Thank you. Please send Louis up,' Harry told him. Anthony got up and after casting a final glance at the wrecked boy, he left the room and made his way downstairs and found Louis still in the study, now drinking coffee instead of whiskey. He poured Anthony a cup which he took gratefully and he sat down in the leather chair opposite Louis' desk.

 

'How did you find him?' Louis asked him. Anthony took a sip of the hot coffee, relishing in the warm beverage and crossed one leg over the other.

 

'Exquisite. He is such a beautiful boy and not just in looks might I add.' He threw Louis a knowing glance which Louis picked up on right away.

 

'I know,' he said softly. He could feel the guilt weighing down on his chest as if he had a load of bricks crushing him down.

 

'Also I found him incredibly loyal to you and his love for you, well its astonishing,' Anthony pointed out. Louis looked at him with wide eyes but said nothing because he didn't know what to say to that. He wanted Anthony to explain further so he remained silent. Anthony took the hint.

 

'From what I've seen in the little time I spent with Harry, this seems to me like a case of Stockholm Syndrome.' Louis raised a questioning eyebrow.

 

'Stockholm Syndrome?' he asked perplexed. He wasn't holding Harry hostage or against his will. What was Anthony going on about?

 

'He loves you Louis. He loves you so much regardless of what you did. He knows there's something about you that makes you act the way you do and he accepts it without asking questions or know exactly what it is that he is accepting. He just does. Kinda reminds me of that Bible saying blessed are those who believe even though they don't see. His faith in you is solid and he is very loyal. He talks about you as if you put the sun, the moon and the stars in the sky.' Anthony paused and looked at Louis who was staring at him with his mouth slightly open, a look of awe and wonder on his face.

 

'However,' Anthony continued, seeing that Louis had nothing to say, 'I am deeply worried about him. He is fighting a battle within himself and he is choosing to fight it alone. He doesn't want anyone in there. His defense mechanism tells him to be afraid of you and puts him on alert when you are near just like his subconscious does when he is asleep, hence the nightmares but in his rational mind, he just sees you. His Louis. The perfect Louis. He will not admit to you raping him and gets highly upset when someone says it. He will not blame you and will not allow anyone to do so either. To him, it was just angry sex because he made you mad.'

 

'Oh,' Louis said because it was all he could utter at what Anthony was telling him.

 

'The thing is Louis,' Anthony continued, 'I don't want him blaming himself for this and unless he admits to himself or to you or to me that yes, you did rape him, he will just keep on making excuses to come to terms with what happened and one of them is taking the blame upon himself rather than blame you. That will do much damage to him. It will build inside him and it will just keep on building until one day he will erupt and that day worries me.' Anthony took another sip of his coffee.

 

'So what do we do to get him to admit to what I did?' Louis asked him.

 

'Nothing,' Anthony told him calmly.

 

'Nothing?' Louis questioned. 'But you just said...'

 

'Louis he won't hear it. Every time its mentioned, he gets highly agitated and emotional and he won't listen to it. For the time being, he is showing emotions to the situation which is good. He reacts even if its in a negative way but he reacts. The fact that he can react is a good sign. I fear that if we persist, he might shut himself down and that would be so much worse.'

 

'So what now?' Louis asked him.

 

'I am going to prescribe something for him to keep him calm and help him sleep,' Anthony told him as he pulled out a small pad and pen from the inside breast pocket of his jacket.

 

'You're going to drug him?' Louis said. 'He has exams coming up. He needs to be focused.' Anthony put his hand up to stop Louis.

 

'He needs to be tranquil and calm Louis. He is very emotionally unstable. If I leave him in that state, he won't be doing any exams at all. Make sure he takes one before bed after he's had dinner. It will help him sleep and keep the nightmares away.' Louis nodded as he took the prescription from Anthony.

 

'What can I do to help him?' Louis asked in a small voice.

 

'What you can do is be there for him, love him, make sure he feels safe in your presence, make him see that you are not a threat to him. If he gets afraid, leave immediately and if he ever wants to leave this house, don't hold him back. Let him go. Don't beg him to stay or make him feel guilty for wanting to leave. If things get too much for him he might need some time away with friends or go back to his home, something that is familiar and safe to him. Keep him entertained so his mind won't be too singularly focused on what happened. Distract him.' Anthony got up and straightened his jacket.

 

'Make sure he starts his medication tonight. And go to him. He asked me to tell you to go up.' Louis got up and Anthony walked towards the door. Before he walked out, he turned back to Louis.

 

'One more thing, don't try anything intimate with him. He is definitely not ready for that. And if he initiates it, take it very slowly making sure to make him feel safe and at the first sign that he is in distress, just stop.' Anthony paused, a smile on his lips. 'A word of advice Louis. You might want to give him a safe word.' He winked at Louis and walked out. Louis took a few moments to compose himself, then took a deep breath and walked out of his study, straight to his bedroom. When he reached the door, he knocked softly and pushed the door open. He walked inside and saw Harry sitting in the window seat, his back to the wall, head resting against the glass pane, his knees to his chest. Louis closed the door.

 

'You wanted to see me?' Louis asked him trying to make his voice as soft as possible so as not to startle him. Harry turned his head towards him and gave him a small smile.

 

'Hold me?' he asked him tentatively. Louis was a little shocked at his request but nodded and walked towards him.

 

'Of course,' he told him as Harry put his feet down and Louis sat behind him, his back to the wall, legs on either side of Harry. Harry leaned back into his chest, resting his head back on Louis shoulder. Louis wrapped his arms around him and held him close but gently, softly as if he was holding a new born baby in his arms. And Harry let him. He melted back into his chest, synchronizing his breathing along to Louis' and feeling the thump thump thumping of his steady heartbeat against his spine. Occasionally, Louis placed soft kisses on his head and stroked his hair while they sat in silence. They didn't talk. They didn't say anything at all. Just sat there, looking out over the garden at the rain softly falling, its gentle pitter patter against the window pane the only sound in the room. It was peaceful and everything was alright if only in this perfect moment in time.

 

After sitting together like that for a while, outside had gone dark rendering the bedroom pitch black and cold. Louis felt stiff from sitting in the same position with Harry cuddled into him but he didn't have the heart to move him. He was so warm and pliant in his arms. Louis kissed the top of his head and noticed that Harry had goosebumps all over his arms.

 

'Baby you're cold,' Louis told him. Harry shifted a little, pressing himself further back into Louis as if he wanted to enter his chest cavity, snuggling deeper into his warm arms. Louis smiled and ran his hands up and down Harry's arms, warming him.

 

'I'm hungry,' Harry said, his voice deep and slow. Louis smiled again and realized that for the first time in a whole week, he felt a little happy and at peace. It all felt as if it was back to normal with Harry.

 

Yeah until his next melt down.

 

'I'll tell Judy to make us some dinner,' Louis told him, ignoring his subconscious. Harry threw his head back and looked up into Louis' face.

 

'Can we order pizza?' he asked as if he was a little child asking for candy.

 

'Sure baby,' Louis agreed. 'Anything you want. Go shower while I go and place an order yeah.' Louis made to get up but Harry grabbed his wrist stopping him.

 

'Can we watch a movie?' Louis smiled fondly at him and placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Yes love.'

 

 

An hour later, Louis and Harry were both showered and settled on the couch in the living room with a fire burning brightly in the fire place, a large mushroom and cheese pizza on the coffee table. The large 52' plasma screen in Louis' living room was on and Harry was flicking through the channels trying to find something to watch since Louis had no DVD's or Netflix, considering he hardly watched any TV as he had explained to Harry. Harry stopped on ITV just as Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone was about to begin.

 

'Oh cool Harry Potter,' Harry said excitedly as he criss crossed his long legs and munched on a slice of hot pizza. Louis looked at him furrowing his eyebrows.

 

'Harry who?' Harry looked at him as if offended.

 

'You don't know who Harry Potter is? Where the hell have you been living?' Harry asked him and Louis chuckled.

 

'I'm not into movies and stuff Harry. My life before you was rather dull.' Harry smiled round a mouthful of pizza.

 

'Prepare to be blown away muggle,' he said.

 

'Muggle? What is that supposed to mean?' Louis asked him, taking a slice of pizza from the box.

 

'Non-magical folk. Now sit back and prepare for the best adventure of your life yet. There's another 6 movies after this,' Harry explained.

 

'And I am guessing you will be taking me on this magical adventure by making me watch all 6 other movies?' Louis asked curiously but highly amused.

 

'Mhm,' Harry said. 'And tomorrow you are sending Leonard to buy you a Blue Ray DVD and the Blue Ray Harry Potter box set from HMV.' Louis laughed loudly.

 

'Yes Sir,' he told him as he nudged him with his shoulder. They watched the movie while eating pizza, Louis asking questions and Harry gladly filling him in. During the movie, Harry ended up with his head in Louis' lap and Louis couldn't be any happier as he watched the movie, which he rather liked he had to admit, with his boy while playing softly with his curls.

 

X

 

Next morning, Harry went down to breakfast rather late. It was after 11 am when he woke up. He couldn't believe that he had over slept and when he woke up to an empty bed, he had somewhat panicked so he got up quickly, grabbed his phone and headed downstairs, his messy curls flying everywhere and his eyes puffy from sleep. He entered the kitchen which was full of light streaming in from the huge window over the sink that over looked the garden and he found Judy alone, having a cup of tea.

 

'Where is Louis?' he asked her right away, his voice deep and groggy. Judy couldn't help but smile fondly at him because Harry at that moment stood in her kitchen looking like a startled baby deer, standing there dishevelled in his red and grey plaid pyjama bottoms, grey AC/DC t-shirt and Spiderman socks. His eyes looked panicked even though he wasn't even properly awake yet. Judy walked over to him.

 

'Good morning Harry,' she told him in a kind voice. 'He's in his study working.' Harry barely gave her time to finish her sentence. He dashed out of the kitchen, his socks skidding on the polished wooden floors nearly making him lose his balance and hurried towards the study. He didn't knock, just pushed open the door and walked inside. Louis was on the phone and put his finger up indicating for Harry to give him a minute. Harry relaxed the moment he set eyes on him as he lowered himself into one of the leather armchairs across from the desk and yawned sleepily as he waited for Louis to finish his call. Louis quickly ended the call as he wanted to give his attention to Harry. He looked at a yawning Harry, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

 

'Good morning,' Louis told him, a smile tugging at his lips because he was so endeared by the younger boy sitting across from him.

 

'I slept in,' Harry said as if he were apologizing for it. Louis smiled at him, got up and walked round the desk towards Harry. Harry noticed that Louis looked divine this morning. He was wearing a pair of black Adidas pants with white stripes down the outside of his leg and a red Ralph Lauren polo shirt. Harry also noticed that Louis had a beard. And Harry realized that Louis looked very hot and sexy with facial hair. Harry had to admit that he loved this version of Louis, relaxed and out of suits. Louis caught him staring at him.

 

'How did you sleep?' he asked him, not wanting to call him out on his staring. Harry cleared his throat and brought himself out of his thoughts.

 

'G-good,' he said. 'Did I...um did I...you know?' he asked uncertain how to phrase it but Louis knew what he was asking even though he didn't say the words.

 

'No you didn't have nightmares,' he told him. 'You did snore a lot however.' Harry felt himself blush, his cheeks turning hot and Louis chuckled because Harry was so fucking cute right now.

 

'Sorry,' Harry mumbled. 'I tend to snore sometimes.'

 

'Harry, it quite alright,' Louis assured him. 'Don't worry about it. I'm glad you slept all through the night. You look well rested, just a little puffy around the eyes,' Louis teased him. Then on a more serious note, he asked him: 'How does your body feel?'

 

Harry looked up at him with sleepy eyes. 'Better,' he told him. 'Healing.' Louis nodded feeling satisfied with Harry's answer and not wanting to delve anymore into the subject so as not to make him uncomfortable or anxious.

 

'So, what do you want to do today?' Louis asked him changing the subject. 'I have another whole day off at your disposal for you to use how you see fit.' Harry shrugged.

 

'Anything is okay as long as its with you,' Harry said softly making Louis' heart thump a little faster than it normally would. Anthony had told him to keep him entertained and an idea crept into his head.

 

'How about you invite your friends over? Its a Saturday after all,' Louis suggested. Harry looked at him in surprised shock.

 

'I can?' he asked. Louis moved closer to him and placed both his hands on the armrests of the chair on either side of Harry, caging him in and he leaned down, his face inches away from Harry's.

 

'Baby this is your house too now. You are allowed to have guests over to visit you,' Louis told him kindly. Harry kept looking up into Louis' clear blue eyes feeling himself being pulled in and getting lost in their depths, the smell of his cologne making his head swim, filling him up.

 

I am not afraid, Harry told himself. I am not afraid. I am not afraid.

 

He watched Louis' eyes alternate between looking deep into his eyes and flickering down to his lips and Harry knew what Louis wanted because he wanted it too. Harry nodded slightly to Louis, letting him know that it was okay. Still, Louis hesitated so Harry reached up to the collar of his polo shirt and gently tugged him down and closer until their lips were only an inch apart, their warm breaths fanning each other's faces. Louis placed his lips ever so carefully on Harry's and it felt just like the first time all over again. Harry's lips were plump and warm and God Louis had missed kissing him so much! He moved his lips slowly on Harry's, no tongue just lips moving together as he kissed his boy and internally sighed in relief when he felt Harry respond to his kiss. It gave him hope that not all was lost. Louis knew then that there was no life for him without Harry in it. He knew he would give up anything and everything in his life just to have this beautiful soul with him.

 

But would you give up your basement for him?

 

Louis wanted to strangle his subconscious because that was just about the only thing that he was not ready to discuss with himself yet. Louis pulled back and placed a chaste kiss to Harry's red lips.

 

'Call them. Make plans. I'll have Judy set up dinner for you and your friends. You just take care of the menu,' Louis told him with a smile but Harry gave him a confused look.

 

'What about you?' Louis sat in the chair next to Harry.

 

'Oh I will be in my office doing some work....'

 

'No,' Harry cut him off. 'I want you with me.'

 

'Harry, its your time with your friends. You haven't seen them in a while.' Harry reached over and took his hand.

 

'I want you with me,' he repeated. 'Please.' Louis didn't say anything for awhile because he wanted Harry to have some time with his friends away from him, to feel better and relaxed and not so on edge all the time. He wanted him to forget for a little bit, not have him there as a constant reminder. Harry saw him hesitate and squeezed his hand again. 'Louis please.'

 

'Alright,' Louis told him not wanting Harry to beg. 'I will join you and your friends if it makes you feel better. Now c'mon and lets get you something to eat and some tea.' Just as they were getting up, Harry's phone rang. He pulled it out and saw that it was Craig. He swiped the phone and put it to his ear.

 

'Hi Craig,' Harry greeted him and Louis stiffened. He watched Harry smile as he listened to what Craig was saying and he felt his blood boil and freeze at the same time. 'Oh I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, I'm staying with a friend at the moment.' At the word "friend" Louis felt as if he wanted to snatch Harry's phone out of his hand and tell this mother fucker that Harry was now living with him and that he was his boyfriend but Harry was still holding his hand, idly drawing circles on Louis' hand. 'Yes you can drop by. I will text you the address okay. Thank you Craig, I really appreciate it.'

 

What the fuck is he making you appreciate? Louis wondered. Harry hung up and looked at Louis but when he saw the look on his face, the smile he had slipped off his lips.

 

'T-that was um.....'

 

'Craig?' Louis asked dryly. Harry licked his lips.

 

'He-he's my doctor,' Harry explained.

 

Don't make him mad! Don't make him mad! Don't make him mad, he told himself.

 

'He- he helped me when.....'

 

'When I wasn't there,' Louis stated.

 

'He um he's just um coming to see my um injuries,' Harry continued to explain feeling dread in the pit of his stomach. He could feel a panic attack coming because Louis was mad and when Louis got mad.....

 

'So I'm your friend huh?' Louis asked him. Harry swallowed thinking up the easiest way to explain this to Louis.

 

'Lou, he um knows what happened to me. I didn't tell him but when he examined me, he knew. He's a doctor and if I tell him you're my boyfriend......'

 

'He will suspect its me that did all that to you,' Louis continued for him. Harry nodded.

 

'Are you mad at me? Please don't be mad at me,' Harry pleaded with him and that was all it took to break Louis out of his angry jealous. He cupped Harry's cheek.

 

'Baby I'm not mad at you no. You protected me how can I be mad at you?' Harry sighed in relief, letting out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. 'Is he coming to see you?' Harry nodded.

 

'Just as my doctor Lou nothing more. I promise,' Harry told him. Louis raised Harry's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles.

 

'I trust you baby. It's him I don't but since he's your doctor, I don't have much say in the matter. Now let's go and get you something to eat yeah?' Louis made to get up but Harry tugged on his hand.

 

'Don't forget to tell Leonard to get the DVD and Harry Potter box set. Tomorrow you and I are having a Harry Potter marathon.' Louis rolled his eyes but laughed.

 

'I'll get him right on it Sir,' he told him mockingly as he pulled him up from the chair and laced his fingers through Harry's while walking to the kitchen together.

 

X

 

Liam, Zayn and Niall arrived later that afternoon and were shown into the living room by Jarvis where Louis and Harry were sat waiting for them. As soon as they saw Harry, they all hugged him and congratulated him on his move with his boyfriend. Louis had drinks served for them and sat close to Harry, holding his hand all the time as Harry told them about the move and how he and Louis were now official. They talked about their upcoming exams and what the other lads had been up to. Louis just listened, not interrupting their conversation, after all this was their time together. Just then the doorbell rang and Jarvis informed Louis that Dr. Craig Blake was here for Harry. Louis told him to show him in. He had to see what this Craig looked like. He also noticed that Harry was suddenly nervous but Louis patted his knee and gave him a wink.

 

Craig walked into the living room and was greeted by Louis who kept his shit in check because he didn't want to do anything stupid in front of Harry's friends. Mostly he did not want to frighten Harry. He outstretched his hand.

 

'Nice to make you acquaintance Dr. Blake. I must thank you for the immense care you took of Harry. I am Mr. Tomlinson, Harry's friend. He is my guest here,' Louis told him politely even though he wanted to have this asshole thrown out of his house. He was a beautiful man and his eyes never fucking left Harry for one second, even though Harry was looking at no one but Louis. Craig shook his hand, finally meeting his eyes.

 

'A pleasure to meet you Mr. Tomlinson,' he said. Then once again he turned to look at Harry. It was taking all Louis had within him to keep up a straight front.

 

'You are here to check on Harry,' Louis told him, not a question but a fact.

 

'Yes,' Craig told him. Louis turned to Harry giving him a what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

 

'Harry, Dr. Blake is here to see you. Take him upstairs to your bedroom,' Louis told him, hoping Harry got the message to take him into the guest bedroom not their own room. Harry got up stiffly from the couch and walked towards them. He was unsure about Louis but as he passed him, Louis gently squeezed his hand.

 

'We won't be long,' Harry told him quietly. Louis smiled at him.

 

'Take your time. I will keep your guests company.' Harry nodded and showed Craig the way upstairs. Louis ground his teeth together at the thought of that asshole having his hands on Harry. Still, he composed himself and turned back on Harry's friends.

 

'Sorry about that,' Louis apologized. 'Harry only informed me late this morning that he was getting a call from his doctor.' Louis sat back down and took a sip from his drink.

 

'I thought you were official,' Zayn told him.

 

'Excuse me?' Louis asked him not getting the meaning of what he was saying. Zayn kept his eyes fixed on Louis.

 

'You introduced yourself to his doctor as Harry's friend not his boyfriend,' Zayn pointed out and Liam nudged him in the ribs.

 

'Zayn!' he hissed at him.

 

'Its quite alright Liam,' Louis told him and turned his eyes on Zayn the mother fucker who never missed anything! 'Yes we are official but only to my staff and you guys. I am waiting for Harry to be sure he wants to be introduced to world because once we do that, he will be hounded by the media. And if he is sure, I was hoping we could do it after his exams so he won't be distracted,' Louis explained. Liam gave him an apologetic smile.

 

'That is very considerate of you, to think of Harry's needs,' Liam told him shooting a hard look at Zayn.

 

'I want to keep him protected as much as I can. The media can be a bitch and I don't want him hurt or upset by it in any way,' Louis told Liam. Just then, Harry and Craig came back down the stairs and they stopped in the foyer to exchange a few words, then he watched Harry shake his hand and walk him to the door. After a while, Harry came back and sat down next to Louis, sitting as close to him as he could possibly get without climbing in his lap. Louis placed an arm around his shoulder and Harry cuddled under his arm.

 

'How did the doctor find you love?' Louis asked him as he placed a kiss on his temple. He really didn't give a fuck that Harry's friends got to see this side of him. All that mattered was that Harry felt his love and was safe in the knowledge that Louis wasn't hiding their relationship. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'He said I'm healing very well. I should be totally healed in about two week's time.' Louis smiled happily.

 

'That's wonderful love,' Louis praised.

 

'You should watch how you walk Harry,' Niall teased him. 'Especially on ice. Try and work on your co-ordination and controlling those long legs of yours. Sometimes you remind me of a baby deer or a giraffe the way your legs seem to just have a mind of their own.' His friends laughed and Louis hugged him tighter to his side, Harry blushing but laughing along with his friends. Louis got up and went into the kitchen to check how dinner was progressing.

 

'So a big move for you huh?' Liam asked him. 'I mean look at this house. Its huge and you get to live here.'

 

'Yeah,' Harry smiled.

 

'Are you happy?' Niall asked him.

 

'I am. Very,' Harry replied.

 

'I am really happy that you found love Harry,' Liam told him sincerely. 'Louis seems to have settled to being your boyfriend now. He showers you with attention and love. You deserve it Harry. You really do.' Zayn scoffed.

 

'I still don't trust him,' he commented. Liam rolled his eyes.

 

'Will you just give over? They are happy and they are now officially a couple Zayn. Louis does look extremely fond of him. He only has eyes for him. You have to admit it, he's different than when we met him on Harry's birthday. The guy deserves a break.' Zayn shook his head.

 

'Still,' he said.

 

'Still nothing Zayn,' Liam chided him. 'If you can't say anything nice then just be quiet.' Louis entered the living room again announcing that dinner was being served. They all went into the dining room which had been set up nicely to serve the five people sitting for dinner. Louis sat at the head of the table and Harry sat next to him. Jarvis and Judy began serving and soon the dining room was full of chatter and the clatter of cutlery against plates. Conversations varied from personal life to work and ambitions and dreams of the future. Louis loved to hear Niall talk about how he was going to graduate in IT and technology and he was fascinated to hear him talk about communications and designs for gaming ideas. Louis was interested in what he had to say even though his company did not produce gaming equipment or games in itself. However, what Niall was suggesting about how his company should invest in their own gaming software and produce their own brand of games, was making Louis interested. He asked Niall if he could come by the office and discuss this further. Niall happily agreed.

 

By the time dessert and coffee were served, Louis felt relaxed and was quite enjoying this time with Harry's friends. They weren't so bad after all especially Niall whom Louis found very interesting and full of ideas. He secretly knew that Niall would thrive in his company. Liam he found a very stable and reliable sort of person who worked hard and dreamed of one day owning his own cafe/book store. As for Zayn, he wasn't really very sure about him. He was mysterious and not so open as the other two. He said little but his eyes spoke volumes and the way he looked at Louis, Louis knew Zayn didn't like him much. Maybe Zayn was over protective of Harry and in Louis' mind that was a good thing.

 

And most of all, he loved seeing Harry laughing and relaxed with his friends around him. Louis wanted him to be back to his normal self even though he knew it was a slow and long process but he was going to be there with him every step of the way. He knew it was his fault that Harry found himself in this position and he was going to do everything in his power to prove himself to Harry that he was changing and was taking their relationship seriously.

 

By seven in the evening, Liam, Niall and Zayn were ready to leave. Zayn had to work at Garland's and Niall had to meet his girlfriend where as Liam was just heading to his shared flat with Zayn for a quiet night in. They thanked Louis for a lovely afternoon and hugged Harry tightly with promises of visiting soon. When the door closed on them, Louis and Harry stood in the foyer, alone but together.

 

'Thank you for today,' Harry told Louis.

 

'Did you enjoy yourself?' Louis asked him as he pushed a strand of hair away from his face and tucked it behind his ear. Harry nodded.

 

'Yes very much and thank you for being my boyfriend in front of them. It means so much Lou,' Harry said quietly. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'I'm glad to be your boyfriend baby. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me,' Louis admitted. Harry smiled.

 

'I love you,' Harry told him as he wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Louis hugged him back chocking on the words that he wanted to say but which were stuck on his tongue.

 

Tell him. Say it. Let him know how you feel about him.

 

But he couldn't. Not yet. He wasn't ready. He pulled back and looked at Harry.

 

'How about we set up that DVD hmm and maybe watch another Harry movie yeah?' Harry nodded.

 

'Sounds good. I'll go make popcorn while you set up,' Harry said as he went towards the kitchen. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, thanking whoever sent Harry Styles in his life and allowing him to be touched by love.

 

Hope you all liked that. Stay tuned for Chapter 14....coming soon.....


	14. Come What May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I got back from London yesterday and as I promised, here is another update. I am still on a high from seeing Harry twice. He was bloody amazing. The show was magical and I couldn't believe I was seeing him for real.I had a really wonderful time. Thank you guys for being patient and I really hope you will like the next chapter.  
> All the love   
> M.

Come What May

 

When he looks at me

I know the boy sees things

Nobody else can see,

All of the secret fears inside

And all the craziness I hide

He looks into my soul

And reads me like nobody can

And he doesn't judge the man

He just takes me as I am.

Come what may, he believes

And that faith is something

I've never known before

Come what may, he loves me

And that love has helped me open a door

Making me love myself a little more.

 

 

It had been a very hectic two weeks and Louis was at the end of his tether. He was trying very hard to hold on to his sanity. For the past two weeks he had tried to be the loving supportive boyfriend to Harry, the boss of his multi billion dollar company, run his household, be a domestic partner and try to be as normal a human being as possible, all the while suppressing his urges which were raging inside of him, begging to be set loose. Not to mention he was sex deprived but he tried not to think about that too much but it was impossible with Harry sleeping in the same bed in just his boxers pressed up against him. And Louis did not like the fact that wanking was becoming a habit!

 

Harry had been panicking about his upcoming exams for the whole two weeks. He studied and revised like crazy even though he had not one, but two tutors who came in a different times every day to tutor him. Still he panicked and gave himself anxiety attacks and Louis came home everyday from the office to find him in his study buried in books and papers, chewing on his pen while tapping away on his laptop. Louis had sympathized with him because as Harry had pointed out, these were his first exams of his first term at Uni and he needed to do good, better than good even if he had to excel when the finals came. Louis had given him countless neck rubs and shoulder massages while constantly praising his efforts and how well he was doing and assuring him over and over again that he will ace all his exams. And he loved how Harry trusted in his words and gave him that dopey smile that made Louis' heart melt and his dick harden.

 

Things between them were much better. Harry hadn't expressed any fear towards him in the past few days and he hadn't had anymore nightmares which Louis was grateful for. However, Anthony had pointed out during one of his private sessions with Louis that what Harry was doing was shutting down those memories, locking them away in his brain behind a door labeled "Denial". He told Louis that Harry had shown these symptoms during their sessions. Anthony had explained to Louis that Harry was acting as if he didn't remember what had happened at all and that worried Anthony a lot. It was not a healthy way to deal with trauma but many did it, feeling safer if they pretended that it never happened. Anthony told Louis that this might exhibit itself in difference of behavior, anxiety and panic attacks, detachment and depression. Louis had noticed none of these changes in Harry. If anything, Harry had become more clingy to Louis and the only anxiety and panic attacks he was having were all related to his exams.

 

Harry had also healed from his physical injuries that he himself had delivered to him and for that Louis was even more grateful because if there was anything worse than watching Harry being afraid of him, was watching Harry limp and wince in pain every time he sat or stood. Every time Harry changed clothes or walked out of the bathroom in his boxers, Louis inconspicuously surveyed his injuries. The welts on the back of this thighs had faded to a pale greenish yellow but where the leather of the belt had broken the skin, the scars remained like faint white lines kriss crossing the back of his pale thighs. Louis hoped that given more time, those scares would eventually disappear. He didn't want visible reminders of what he had done to him. His brain will make sure to remind him enough without him having to see the evidence.

 

Nevertheless, not everything between them was back to relatively as normal as could be given under the circumstances. There was no intimacy between them whatsoever, save a kiss here and there, spooning while sleeping, occasional hand holding, hugs and cuddling on the couch. Harry let nothing go any further than that and Louis could understand that perfectly. Anthony had told him not to push anything intimate on Harry. He had warned Louis that Harry was not ready, that the fact that he didn't let anything go any further, was proof that what had happened had left its repercussions on Harry. Anthony had told Louis that maybe Harry would never be ready to be touched again, to be intimate and give his body over to him again. Only time could tell. Harry's brain now saw sex as the thing that broke him so unless Harry instigated intimacy between them, Louis had to steer clear.

 

And this was turning out into a huge problem for Louis. It had been four weeks since he had been down in the basement with Harry. Hence four weeks since he had used a belt and four weeks since he had any sexual contact. Louis knew that he had told Harry that he would not give up his boys or his basement before he moved in here but he couldn't find it in him to have one of his boys over while Harry was in the house asleep upstairs. Furthermore, he knew that he wouldn't fuck any of them because he had promised Harry that he wouldn't and he wanted to keep that promise but his needs were growing inside of him. The need to use his belt and fuck hard and the knowledge that he couldn't exercise neither of them was making him edgy and frustrated. He desperately needed a belt in his hands and a boy beneath him. Just thinking about it made him sweat and breathless causing an urgent panic to go through his veins. He felt like a drug addict on withdrawls and he knew he needed his fix soon otherwise he would go crazy. Sure he wanked himself blind every time he took a shower but it didn't help much. Seeing Harry in his boxers, feeling him against him in his bed, his warm body wrapped around him, his ass against his dick every time he spooned him...it was pure torture.

 

Today was the first day of Harry's exams and the day Harry ventured out of the house after taking his time to heal. Louis paced the foyer impatiently. He never knew himself to be this impatient. He looked at his Rolex for the dozenth time. 9:43 am.

 

'Harry!' Louis called up the stairs, his voice echoing in the vast hallway and staircase. 'We are going to be late!' They had exactly 17 minutes for Harry to get to Uni and for him to get to his office. Punctuality was a must with Louis. He tapped his foot impatiently on the marble floor as Harry made his way down the staircase, nearly stumbling down half the stairs. Louis swore that the boy's clumsiness would one day cause him to break his neck!

 

'Sorry,' Harry apologized as he pushed his hair out of his face and hoisted his backpack up on his shoulder. 'Last minute revision,' he grinned. Louis rolled his eyes and ushered him out of the house into the waiting car. As soon as they were seated inside and Angus drove them out of the driveway, Harry opened his backpack and pulled out a stack of notes. Louis eyed him curiously.

 

'What are you doing?' Louis asked him.

 

'Revising,' Harry replied, his nose in his notes.

 

'You've already revised!' Louis pointed out. 'You fucking revised your revision for God's sake!'

 

'I need to revise some more. I'm not ready,' Harry told him, flicking through his notes restlessly. Louis huffed and snatched Harry's notes away from him, earning him a "how dare you" look from Harry.

 

'You are prepared Harry. You are over prepared if you ask me,' Louis told him. Harry frowned.

 

'Louis, these are my first exams at Uni. I can't fail. I just can't. One can never be prepared enough. Give them back.' Louis kept them out of his reach.

 

'No Harry,' Louis said sternly. 'You are stressing yourself out for no reason. If you are going to stress, you are going to have a panic attack and if you do, your mind will black out and that is how you fail. You need to relax and breathe. You are well prepared for this. You had two tutors for the past two weeks who have prepared you for these exams so just relax.' Harry looked down and pouted.

 

'What if I fail?' Harry asked quietly.

 

'Harry you won't,' Louis reassured him in the softest voice he could muster as he stuffed his notes back into his backpack. He grabbed his chin gently and turned his face to him, tilting his chin upwards till his green eyes were looking straight into his. 'You will ace these exams baby. I have so much faith in you. Have a little faith in yourself yeah?' Harry sighed heavily and looked down again, slipping his chin out of Louis' grasp.

 

'I wish I had Harry Potter's wand,' he mumbled. Louis chuckled.

 

'I am your Harry Potter wand,' he said casually.

 

'Huh?' Harry asked, furrowing his brow and giving him a curious look.

 

'I can buy you a diploma and a degree if you want,' he told him meekly giving him a wink. Harry slapped his thigh playfully.

 

'Lou! That's cheating!' Louis scoffed.

 

'And waving a magical wand to ace your exams isn't? How is that any different from me buying your degree?' Harry chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully.

 

'Hmm you're right,' Harry admitted.

 

'Of course I am,' Louis smirked at him. By now Angus had stopped the car in front of the University. Some students that were lounging outside on campus stared at the beautiful car with the tinted windows, whispering to each other probably thinking some celebrity or important person had come to their University. Harry saw that and frowned.

 

'What?' Louis asked him.

 

'You should've let me take the tube. Everyone is going to stare at me now and gossip once they see me stepping out of this car.' Louis scoffed.

 

'Of course they will stare at you. You're my fucking beautiful boyfriend. You are stareable so if they are going to stare why not make it worth their while? Though I do not approve of your choice of clothing if I'm to be honest,' Louis pointed out eyeing Harry's clothes with a disgusted look.

 

'What's wrong with my clothes?' Harry asked a little offended. 'I am not wearing Gucci for Uni!'

 

'And why ever not?' Louis asked him. 'Better than that cheap shit you're wearing. Honestly baby you look homeless.' Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'I'm going to get enough attention as soon as I step out of this car Lou. Imagine if I came here decked in designer clothes.'

 

'So what Harry? You're going to get attention regardless when I make us official and you're spread out on the front pages of magazines and tabloids as my pretty boyfriend. They are going to point and whisper and gossip about you so why not give them good reasons for their gossip?' Louis mused cheekily. Harry groaned and rolled his head back on his shoulders.

 

'Aren't you going to be late for work?' Harry asked him still groaning and Louis wished he didn't groan like that because he was making things happen inside of his pants and he couldn't afford to go to work with a boner. Louis leaned in closer and kissed him softly. When he pulled back he rested his forehead against Harry's.

 

'I am but you are my priority. Now go in there and give it your best shot. Nail those mother fuckers. Unless of course you changed your mind and want me to buy your degree?' Louis mocked.

 

'Louuuu!' Harry whined. 'Not helping.' Louis laughed and kissed him again.

 

'You will pass your exams with good grades my baby. You wait and see. My judgement is never wrong. Now go. Get out. Go pave your future. Go forth and conquer and all that. You're making me very late for work.'

 

'Okay okay I'm going,' Harry told him laughing as he grabbed his bag and got out of the car. Before he closed the door, Louis told him:

 

'Text me when you're done or while having a hissy fit yeah.' He closed the door before Harry could say anything, Angus pulled off the curb and headed towards his office in Canary Wharf. Harry shook his head, a smile on his lips as he watched Angus drive off. He took in a deep, contented breath, for he was contended and happy if he refused to think about his exams but deep down he knew that Louis was right. He was prepared. Louis was always right and Harry loved how supportive and encouraging Louis had been. He had not failed to notice how Louis had changed, becoming more attentive and affectionate towards him. Harry basked in the knowledge that he was Louis' main focal point of attention and Harry loved him. Despite everything, he loved him more than life itself.

 

Harry hurried his steps towards the University entrance, not wanting to be late for his first exam. He wasn't immune to the looks he was getting from fellow students and the whispering gossip that was going on behind his back. He had made headlines by arriving at Uni in that Bentley and even though it irritated him that people were talking about him, he had to resign himself to the fact that he was the hot topic of the moment. Like Louis had told him in the car, more gossip will happen once they are out to the world that the most eligible bachelor in the world was now take by non other than him, a struggling first year University student who according to Louis, looked homeless and this made Harry smile happily to himself. He felt proud to have captured Louis' heart and was keeping it. A slap on Harry's back brought him out of his happy daydreaming. The smile slid off his face when he turned and found himself facing a grinning Nick.

 

'Daddy gave you a ride in his extravagant car?' Nick taunted him.

 

'Good morning to you too Nick,' Harry told him, refusing to remark on his comment. He wanted to hold on to his inner peace and Nick was not worth losing it for. He resumed walking towards the building, Nick easily keeping up with his long strides.

 

'So I heard you moved into the big Tomlinson mansion?' he asked him and his sarcastic tone wasn't lost on Harry.

 

'And?' Harry retorted.

 

'Aren't you moving a little too fast? You barely know the guy,' Nick pointed out.

 

'I know enough,' Harry said curtly. He really didn't want to be talking about this with Nick. Especially not Nick. Nick smirked.

 

'I heard things about him you know.'

 

'Not interested in your rumors and gossip Nick,' Harry told him trying to cut him off but he knew Nick was persistent.

 

'I heard he's a kinky bastard,' Nick continued, ignoring Harry.

 

'Well you heard wrong. He's pretty much normal. Quite boring at times actually,' Harry told him, feeling his heart pick up its beat. He didn't like where Nick was going with this.

 

'So I heard wrong that he has a basement....' Harry stopped walking and turned to face him.

 

'Yes he does have a basement Nick and I've been down in that basement and guess what? Its full of the usual junk you find in home basements and attics. Seriously Nick where do you get all this shit gossip from?' Harry continued to walk and Nick hurried after him.

 

'I think you're lying Harry,' Nick accused him. Again Harry stopped and turned to look at him.

 

'I don't have to prove anything to you Nick. Its my relationship. What you think you know is very far from the truth. You will not get between Louis and I and you seriously need to stop this obsession you have going on with me.' Nick chuckled.

 

'Me? Obsessed with you? Please! Guess daddy had been feeding your ego a little too much now has he?' Harry smirked at him.

 

'Actually you are the one who has been feeding my ego by constantly pouring yourself over me, which might I add is a little pathetic. I am not interested in you Nick. Never was and never will be. He's the one I want and there's nothing you can tell me about him that would change my mind. Not even if you tell me that he's the devil in disguise. And don't call him daddy ever again. He's not my daddy. He's my love. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an exam to get to.' Harry turned and began walking away from Nick only to hear him call:

 

'Guess its true what they say that you become what you eat cos you are becoming a dickhead just like him.' Harry shook his head and pulled the door open, making his way to the exam hall.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis was swamped in work. The time he had taken off work to look after Harry had now caught up with him and he already felt mentally exhausted after three hours at the office. Lynn hadn't stopped coming into his office to relate to him what was next on the agenda or bringing piles of papers for him to sign, documents to go over, schedules that needed to be made and appointments to be met. Louis could feel a migraine coming on due from the tension inside his body both from work and from his personal activities being suppressed. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as Lynn droned on and on about his full and busy workload.

 

His phone pinged and he saw that it was a text from Harry. He smiled to himself.

 

'Lynn how about we take a break? Be a dear and get me a cappuccino and some tablets for my migraine. Thank you.' Lynn nodded, got up and left the office. Louis sighed in relief at the relative silence that filled his office. He swiped his phone and tapped Harry's message.

 

[FromHarry]

One down. Was easy. You were right, I am well prepared. Going to meet the lads for lunch. I love you <3

 

Louis smiled to himself again. He was so gone for this boy. He just wished he could show it more yet he still felt as if an anchor was tied to his ankles pulling him down, tying him to his past. Anthony had suggested to him that if he only opened up to Harry and let him in, things between them would be so much better. But Louis kept repeating the same thing over and over again : he wasn't ready.

 

He typed a reply to Harry:

 

[FromLouis]

When am I ever wrong? Enjoy your lunch. See you at home ;)

 

He couldn't even bring himself to tell Harry that he loved him even though he felt it inside of him, growing and attaching him to the boy with every passing day. He knew that he could never live without Harry yet it was too soon to let him in, to give him control over him. Control was all that Louis had left and if he gave that over to Harry, gave him that control over him, then he was susceptible to vulnerability. Harry could break him and he definitely wasn't ready for that.

 

 

X

 

 

By the time Louis got home, it was after 8 pm. He found Harry in the living room, curled up on the couch with a blanket over him even though the fire was on. The telly was on, the sound low and Harry was reading. Louis came up behind him.

 

'Hey baby,' he told him as he placed a kiss on the top of his head. Harry smiled up at him.

 

'At last you're home. I missed you,' he told him as Louis sat down next to him, placing Harry's socked feet on his lap and massaging his toes.

 

'Yeah fucking finally,' Louis said. 'I'm beyond exhausted.' Harry put his book down.

 

'Rough day?'

 

'Just too much shit to do. The perks of being boss!' Louis said. 'What are you reading?'

 

'Pride and Prejudice. Literature tomorrow,' Harry groaned. Louis scoffed.

 

'Fucking Darcy. He's a proud asshole.' Harry giggled.

 

'He was just misunderstood,' Harry pointed out.

 

'He wasn't! He thought everyone was beneath him and lesser than him just because he was rich. I'm glad Elizabeth put him in his fucking place.'

 

'He did love her though,' Harry pointed out. 'Even though she was lesser than him in social status and financially. And she was the one who he eventually married. Goes to show that social status and money don't really matter where the heart is concerned. Much like us.' Louis looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

 

'So you're saying I'm asshole Darcy and you're Elizabeth Bennet?' Harry pursed his lips.

 

'Well you are a bit of a pompous ass,' he said playfully.

 

'Am I now?' Louis growled at him as he began ticking the bottom of his feet. Harry squealed trying to pull his feet free but Louis held him tightly and tickled him till Harry was gasping and laughing.

 

'Stop! Stop,' Harry pleaded, laughing and out of breath. At his words, Louis let go of him immediately. Those words rang out in his ears so loudly especially since Anthony had drilled it into him that stop meant stop and no meant no.

 

'Sorry,' he quickly apologized to Harry. Harry sat up trying to catch his breath. He placed his hand on Louis' cheek loving the feel of his stubble under his fingers.

 

'It's okay,' he told him in a soft voice. Harry leaned closer and kissed him softly and Louis wanted nothing more than to lay on top of him and make sweet love to him. He wanted to feel him, to find comfort in his warm body, to get lost inside of him and find his release. Louis needed him so badly not just for sex. He wanted their connection back, a connection he himself had severed.

 

Without knowing Louis moved, turning himself and pushing Harry back till he was half lying on top of him, his lips moving more urgently over Harry's. His hand moved under Harry's shirt, his tongue licking Harry's lower lip trying to get access to enter his mouth, his thumb moving rapidly over Harry's nipple. He needed to touch him and be touched by him. He needed to love him and be loved by him.

 

He felt Harry's hands against his chest pushing him off of him and the moment was broken. Louis opened his eyes, moved back startled and found Harry looking at him like a scared rabbit, shaking softly. Louis sat up quickly.

 

'God I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry,' he told him frantically. Harry sat up trembling. Louis wanted to reach out to him, to hug him, just hold him but he saw the terrified look in his eyes again. He only wanted to love him. 'Harry please say something. I'm sorry. I got carried away. I had no intention of hurting you, you know that right? I would never......' Harry's hand rested on Louis' hand.

 

'I know,' he told him softly. 'I-I'm just not ready yet.' He looked at Louis sadly, his green eyes shining and pleading. 'I just need a little more time. Please? Can you?' Louis licked his lips.

 

'Of course baby. I'm so sorry really I am. I just....' he paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'I just miss you. Miss us. Together. Intimately.' He spoke the last word softly, reverently. Harry remained silent, looking down at his lap. He didn't have anything to say because he understood what Louis was saying and deep down inside he missed it too but he just couldn't. After a few minutes of awkward silence between them, Louis got up.

 

'I'm just gonna go and have a shower yeah.' Harry just nodded and Louis left the room, climbing the stairs to the second floor slowly as if he was weighed down by an invisible weight. When he got to their room, he started to undress, putting his suit on the chair ready to be sent to dry cleaning. He placed his phone on the bedside table and sat down on the bed. He hated himself for making that move on Harry but he just couldn't help it. There was no way he would ever hurt him again, he knew that.

 

But Harry doesn't. He's still scared of you and your hands on him terrify him.

 

Louis knew that well enough and it angered him but there was nothing he could do about it. He just had to let Harry have his time and hope that he would over come this. He looked at his phone and made a decision. He opened his contacts and scrolled through his contacts, stopping on a name and hitting dial.

 

'Hi Connor. Need you at my basement after midnight. Don't be late.' Louis hung up. He knew that after Harry took his medication, he'd be out like a light and wouldn't wake till morning. He got up and went to have a shower feeling relieved but also guilty for what he was about to do.

 

X

 

Harry was sound asleep as Louis made his way downstairs. Jarvis had unlocked the basement door and when he went inside, Connor was already there ready for him. He tied the cuffs around his wrists and ankles and picked up a random belt. Louis could feel that his heart just wasn't in it yet he needed it, driven by something greater than him. The sight of Connor tied up, bent over the bed should have already alleviated some of his pent up anger inside but Louis was standing there staring ahead into nothing, his memories replaying what had happened here a few weeks ago with Harry.

 

His mind left the room and all he could hear were Harry's cries of please and no and stop and don't hurt me but it wasn't only Harry's voice that he heard. These same words were echoed back to him in the voice of a child too so that Louis was hearing Harry and the child both crying and begging him to stop.

 

Louis blinked, coming back to his basement, his heart pounding in his chest and his shirt stuck to him from sweat. The belt fell from his hands with a dull thump on to the black carpet.

 

'What is happening to me?' he whispered. He felt as if he was drunk, intoxicated, his vision blurred at the edges. He couldn't do this. He could still hear Harry cry out for him to stop and it shook him to the core. He quickly untied Connor who was looking at him somewhat strangely. Louis handed him the money.

 

'See yourself out and use the back door,' he told him without any further explanations. Louis left the basement and hurried upstairs to his room. He undressed down to his boxers and got into bed, scooting as close as he could to Harry who was snoring softly curled in upon himself. Louis pressed his chest to Harry's back, his knees tucked into the back of Harry's knees, wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him closer, burying his face in between his shoulder blades. He held him tightly like a small child who held on tightly to his teddy bear because he was afraid of the dark.

 

'What have you done to me?' he whispered into the darkness as he placed kisses between Harry's shoulder blades and back of his neck. 'I am so in love with you,' Louis whispered. 'So much I think its driving me crazy.' He felt his eyes burn. He closed them tightly shut not wanting to cry but feeling the need to. 'I'm scared Harry. I'm so scared of making another wrong move and losing you. Help me baby. Please.' He hugged Harry tighter to him, not wanting any space between them than there already was. Every inch of Harry's body was pressed back into him and his warmth made Louis feel safe. As safe as he never felt before.

 

 

X

 

 

The following week which encompassed in it Harry's exams, passed in a relative stress free way. At least for Harry. Louis was pleased to see him far more confident in himself and his abilities. Harry had been much more relaxed and positive that he would eventually pass his exams.

 

Unfortunately Louis couldn't say the same for himself. He was feeling rather confused about himself. During the past week, when Harry had fallen asleep, he had had two of his other boys over in the basement on two different occasions with the same result he had had with Connor. He simply couldn't function! He felt lost as to why he felt the urgent need to engage in his habit yet when he tried to, he couldn't. He talked to Anthony about it and Anthony came to the conclusion that Harry's trauma had effected him too. It explained why every time he went into the basement he froze. Harry's trauma was played back to him, reminding him of what he had done to Harry therefore unallowing him to execute his habit. Anthony explained to him that what he had done to Harry had shaken him because he had never hurt someone that bad and the fact that it left a negative impact on him was all down due to the fact that he loved Harry. Louis had never been in a position of loving someone before so having hurt the only person that he loved, had shaken him to the core. All his life he had been emotionally unattached to his boys but with Harry it was different. Anthony explained to him that it had hurt him deep what he had done to Harry whether he acknowledged it or not. However, Anthony also warned him that his pent up aggression was lying beneath the surface and could erupt any minute. He had to be very careful to not let it build up too much and take it out on the wrong person, meaning Harry.

 

Today was Friday, the last day of Harry's exams. He only had one today and Louis had told him to meet him back at the office once he was done and to bring Niall with him as he wanted to talk to him about the gaming idea he had rubbed off on Louis. Angus was to pick them up after the exam was finished and bring them to his office.

 

At exactly 2 pm sharp, Harry and Niall walked into his office. Harry dropped his bag by the door while Niall gaped, his mouth open as he looked round Louis' office.

 

'Finally I'm done,' Harry told Louis who got up from behind his desk and walked over to his boyfriend and pecked his lips fondly.

 

'Thank God for that. Now we can all rest easy,' Louis told him, giving him another kiss on his lips. He turned his attention on Niall who was still gawking, looking out the floor to ceiling windows, gazing down at the city below.

 

'Niall so glad you could make it. Sit down. What would you like for lunch? I haven't had lunch yet. I waited for you two,' Louis told them. Niall turned from the window and he plopped down next to Harry on one of the leather couches and Louis took the other one opposite them. Niall hadn't stopped gawking, making Louis smile.

 

'Wow,' Niall said. 'I mean like wow Mr. T. Your building is amazing. You are amazing,' he drawled. Louis chuckled.

 

'Thank you Niall. So lunch? What do you guys want?' Harry and Niall looked at each other.

 

'Anything will be fine Lou,' Harry told him casually and Niall couldn't help but smile at the way his friend was so at ease with his powerful boyfriend. Louis radiated power, control, dominance and confidence and Niall admired him. Louis nodded. He got up and walked over to his desk and buzzed Lynn.

 

'Yes Sir?'

 

'Hi Lynn can you place an order from the new Thai restaurant down in Covent Garden please? Just tell them to mix up a little of each. And please bring us tea and coffee. Thank you.' Louis resumed his seat opposite Niall and Harry. Niall looked at him with admiration.

 

'I wanna be you,' he blurted out making Louis laugh out loud.

 

'If you put your mind on your goals and work hard for them, you will achieve what I have. And I am here to help you. Wanna tell me your ideas about why I should expand my company into creating my own games and gaming system?'

 

Niall launched himself into a detailed conversation about the subject of gaming and how TGE could benefit if they expanded into the gaming business rather than just create gaming software for other companies to fight over. Louis listened intently, weighing all the points and options Niall was throwing at him, the pros and cons. He was impressed by the boy and his genius mind.

 

The food arrived and they continued to talk, the conversation drifting occasionally to Harry who knew absolutely nothing about gaming or the technology Louis' company produced. But he could talk about books and music and his love for his T.V shows. They had hardly noticed the time until the office began to grow dark. Louis looked at his watch.

 

'Its after six already,' he told them. 'The afternoon just flew by.' Niall stood.

 

'I better get going. I am supposed to meet Emma at 7.' Louis got up too.

 

'I will call my driver to drive you home. Its raining.' Niall smiled at him.

 

'Thank you. That's very kind of you.'

 

'Its the least I can do after all the options and ideas you gave me. I will place this idea to my board and I will get back to you on it. If they approve, I would like to offer you an internship with my company. You will be working with my engineers on the new project.'

 

'Oh my God Mr. T. Really? Thank you so much for this opportunity,' Niall told him as he shook his hand.

 

'I will let you know what the board say though its really my decision at the end of the day but you know how it is. Can't step on their toes so I have to run it by them to have them on board with the project.' Again Niall shook his hand though what he really wanted to do was to hug him but he didn't think it was appropriate. He did however hug Harry tightly to him and whispered in his ear:

 

'If I was gay, I would fight you for him. He's bloody amazing and such a wonderful man.' Harry hugged him back and laughed silently.

 

'He is and if you were gay and fight me for him, you still wouldn't win cos its me he loves.' Niall laughed loudly as he pulled back from the hug.

 

'You're an asshole Styles. See you guys,' he told them as he walked out the office waving back at them. Harry sat back down on the couch.

 

'Thank you,' he told Louis. Louis sat down next to him.

 

'For what?'

 

'For giving him this opportunity.'

 

'He's a talented kid and has ambition. It would be a loss not to give him an opportunity at something he is good at and something I could benefit from. He will thrive here if he works hard. My people can give him a lot of experience in the field of work he wishes to follow and I hope I will be that platform for him.' Harry scooted closer to him.

 

'You are so kind Lou,' he told him as he wove his long fingers through his. Harry leaned in a little closer till his lips brushed Louis' in a soft gently kiss. Louis hummed into the kiss, feeling his body ignite with desire for Harry.

 

Control your instincts!

 

When Harry pulled back, Louis caressed his cheek with the back of his hand.

 

'I have a surprise for you,' he told him and watched Harry's face light up.

 

'Really?' he asked like a little child. Louis nodded.

 

'Well since you have been all stressed out with your exams and working too hard, I took a few days off and tomorrow we are leaving for L.A.' Harry's eyes went wide, a big smile spreading on his face.

 

'You are taking me to Los Angeles? Oh my God Lou! Really?' Louis laughed.

 

'Yes really. And Marc called. He wants you to walk for him. His Spring Men's collection is the following weekend. Are you ready to model for Marc Jacobs?' Louis asked him raising an eyebrow at Harry. Harry flung his arms around Louis' neck hugging him tightly almost suffocating him.

 

'Oh my God yes! This is so exciting. Thank you Lou.' Louis pulled back.

 

'And that's not all.'

 

'There's more?' Harry asked him.

 

'I'm planing on introducing you to the world as my partner slash boyfriend. That is if you still want to.' Harry felt a lump close around his throat.

 

'Yes I want to. Of course I want to,' he choked out. Louis took his hands.

 

'Things will change once we are out Harry. You will be papped, interrogated, followed. And if Marc introduces you as his next top model well, you are going to be into a much bigger spotlight. Do you think you can handle the media? It can be cruel Harry. I'm just warning you so if you changed your mind and want to keep us private I totally understand.' Harry cupped Louis' face in both his big hands, bringing his face closer to his.

 

'I haven't changed my mind and I won't. That's a small price to pay for being with you. I love you Louis. So much.' Harry pressed his lips once again to Louis' only this time he parted his lips for Louis and Louis, surprised that Harry was allowing a little bit more of contact, slipped his tongue ever so cautiously inside Harry's mouth.The intensity of feeling Harry's tongue against his own after so long nearly crushed Louis under the weight of all that he was feeling. His fingers dug in Harry's waist but he made no further movements. He let Harry lead. What Harry allowed, Louis took. Harry pulled back first but kept his forehead against Louis'.

 

'When do we leave?' Harry asked him.

 

'Tomorrow morning. Nine am sharp. We have a thirteen hour flight so how about we go home love and have an early night hmm?' Louis suggested. Harry nodded and got up, putting on his jacket and hoisting his backpack on his shoulder. Louis put on his suit jacket, pocketed his phone and turned the lights of the office off. As they walked down the corridor hand in hand, Louis heard the gasps of his employees and watched Harry blush as he looked down at his feet, walking with his head bowed. Louis squeezed Harry's hand to get his attention and when Harry looked at him from beneath his lowered lashes, Louis gave him a wink. He was well aware that his employees were staring and gaping at them. He was well aware that they had never before seen him act this way.

 

'Well I had to out us to them first. They do work for me so they should kinda know from us directly instead of the media don't you think?' Louis told him as he stopped in front of Lynn's office and tapped on her door with the knuckle of his free hand. He opened the door and peeked in. Lynn startled and began to get up.

 

'Sir,' she said. 'You need anything?' Louis walked into the office towing Harry in behind him. Lynn's eyes went down to their interlaced fingers and Louis saw them go wide, her mouth slightly part.

 

'No Lynn. Just wanted to introduce you to Harry, my boyfriend. I wanted to do it personally so you don't just hear it on the media.'

 

'Oh,' Lynn said too shocked to say anything. Louis chuckled.

 

'Shocked?' he asked her knowing perfectly well that she was. She smiled and blushed, quickly composing herself.

 

'A little Sir. I mean, I'm very happy for you, for the both of you. It's a surprise,' she told him but the smile on her face was genuinely happy.

 

'Thank you Lynn. We'll be heading home now. I should be off work for the upcoming 15 days. I will drop by at the L.A branch and do some work from there. You have my numbers where to reach me yeah. Call if you need anything. At anytime alright.' Lynn nodded.

 

'Yes Sir. Enjoy your vacation both of you and Sir, I'm really happy for you and for you Mr. Styles.' Harry smiled at her shyly.

 

'Just Harry,' he told her softly. She gave him a smile and an acknowledging nod.

 

'Okay we're off then,' Louis told her, giving Harry's hand another squeeze. They left the office building and found Angus waiting for them outside. Louis let Harry get in before him and once he was settled in beside him, Angus drove them home.

 

 

X

 

 

The next morning it took Louis a few attempts to get Harry to wake up. The little shit picked a fine time to be lazy! Finally after threatening to leave without him if he did not get his ass out of bed, Harry stumbled into the shower half asleep. By the time Harry was out of the shower, Louis was downstairs in the kitchen having a coffee and reading the newspaper, dressed in a pair of black Armani suit pants and a crisp white Prada shirt, his hair quiffed, beard trimmed and smelling of expensive cologne. Harry walked into the kitchen looking much more awake then Louis had left him. Louis gave him a once over and he felt his heart do the Rumba. Harry was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans that showed off those long legs of his accentuating his thighs and a Tom Ford white button up, the sleeves rolled up to just beneath his elbows showing off his tattoos. The top three buttons of his shirt were undone as per usual, his swallow and butterfly tattoos peeking out. His hair was down around his shoulders held back by a pair of classic brown George Arthur sunglasses, finishing off his look with his brown suede Saint Laurent boots. Louis looked him up and down, from the crown of his curly head down to the tip of his boots, devouring him hungrily. Slowly undressing him with his lustful eyes.

 

'Someone is getting in the model role,' Louis commented, his eyes still taking Harry in. Harry sat down on a stool next to him. Louis closed his eyes as a waft of Harry's cologne hit his senses. Dolce and Gabbana. It was driving Louis insane with need for him.

 

Calm down lover boy. Control those cravings and calm your hormones. He is nowhere near ready so back down!

 

Harry's lips curled into a small smile as he threw Louis a look. 'Look who's talking. You look like a model yourself or have you not looked in the mirror?' Harry asked him. Louis chuckled.

 

'You flatter me. I have been called many things before but never a model.' Judy placed a mug of tea in front of Harry. Harry politely thanked her and took a sip of his hot drink.

 

'Well then the people you have met before do not know the concept of beauty,' Harry told him as he took another sip of tea. For the first time in his life, Louis felt himself blush. His cheeks felt warm and the compliment from Harry made him feel good inside. He had received compliments before like what a good businessman he was and from exes who complimented him on being hot and giving good sex but never because he was beautiful. He cleared his throat because he didn't know how to react to this compliment and he was feeling awkward.

 

'As soon as you're done with breakfast, we can leave. Suitcases are already in the car,' he informed Harry. Harry nodded as he continued to eat the pancakes Judy had placed before him. Louis smiled at himself feeling pleasantly warm inside and buried his face back in the newspaper before someone saw him blushing like a schoolgirl.

 

When Harry was done, they got into the car for the 25 minute ride to Heathrow Airport given that traffic was light but in London you can never tell. Rush hour is a killer and at 7:45 am they were smack right down in the middle of rush hour. Once Angus began to drive, Louis pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, stopping on the one he was looking for and tapping dial. He put the phone to his ear and gave Harry a smile, who looked at him curiously. After a while, the person that Louis was calling answered their phone.

 

'Hello Ray,' Louis said into the phone. 'Sorry to call you so early but I am enroute to L.A right now and I needed to discuss something with you before I am airborne.' Louis paused for a beat to listen to Ray then he continued:

 

'Ray as my PR I want you to set up a pap walk on my landing in L.A. I want to be papped with my boyfriend....' Louis stopped suddenly obviously hearing Ray on the phone say something, then he laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides just the way Harry found so adorable.

 

'Yes Ray you heard right. My boyfriend. I am officially taken. I want us to be papped together. I want Harry and our relationship to be out there, to become official and who better to do that than the paps? And when they call your office for confirmation, which they obviously will, give them Harry's details. Let them present him to the world. I want him known Ray.'

 

Louis paused again and looked at Harry who was looking back at him with wide green eyes, his mouth slightly open as if in awe. Louis gave him a small smile and squeezed his knee for reassurance. Louis was listening to what Ray was saying, occasionally nodding and humming along.

 

'His name is Harry. Harry Styles. He's a first year University student at the University of London but Ray don't give out the details of which University Harry attends to just yet. I don't want them to hound him and disrupt his studies. You know how they are just like sharks once they smell blood in the water. He is from Holmes Chapel in Cheshire. Twenty years old.' Louis paused again listening, his brows furrowing.

 

'How we met?' Louis asked, shooting Harry a look. 'Can't we just skip that Ray? Well yes I know that they will ask. Of course they will want every little detail about my relationship now but I can't exactly tell them that I met Harry at Garlands while he attempted to give me a blow job now can I?' He heard Harry beside him gasp and Louis winked at him, squeezing his knee tighter.

 

'Look Ray just tell them that I met him when he came to apply for an internship at my office. I really don't want that part of his life public. It is none of their concern and besides he no longer works there so its water under the bridge. No need to dredge it up. Harry doesn't need this kind of negative publicity and frankly I don't either. So we'll go with that yeah.' Louis listened, all the while keeping his eyes on Harry and his hand on his knee, trying to gauge his reaction to the discussion.

 

'Alright Ray thank you. One more thing, have some security over there too. You never know with them and Harry is all new to this so its better to be safe than face a lawsuit! I'll leave the rest to you like always.' Louis hung up and turned to Harry. 'Are you alright?' Harry looked down.

 

'Are we really doing this?' he asked him softly. Louis took his hand in his.

 

'Yes we are. You still want to? If you don't its okay I can call Ray back....'

 

'No no. I still want to yes,' Harry told him giving him a smile. 'It's just new to me. I have never been noticed or popular and I'm nervous. What...um what do I do when we get there?' Louis wanted to hug him so bad right then. Harry didn't even know his value. He had no idea what a precious treasure he was and how the world should know him and see him.

 

'You don't have to do anything love. Just hold my hand and walk beside me. They will yell stuff at you and flash their cameras in your face. Put your glasses on, just give them one of your beautiful smiles and walk on towards the car that will be waiting for us okay. You don't have to do or say anything. This is just a pap walk. Just introducing you to the world as my partner.' Harry nodded and exhaled.

 

'Okay. Guess I can do that. Just...just don't let me go.'

 

'Your hand will be safely in mine all the time. You don't have to worry or be nervous. I got you.' Harry gave him a smile and held his hand tight.

 

Angus parked the car in front of the VIP lounge at Heathrow airport. He got out and got their bags just as Louis and Harry climbed out of the car, holding hands. Angus smiled at himself. He was happy that his boss had found such a beautiful soul to be with and that he had found someone who over looked the damage in him. He handed them their luggage, wished them a safe flight and happy holidays, got back into the car and drove away. Harry knew how this worked now after having been to Paris with Louis in his private jet. This flight however was longer, giving Harry more time to think about what would be waiting for them once they landed in Los Angeles. Regardless of how much Louis reassured him, Harry was nervous. He had a million butterflies attacking his stomach. He had seen celebrities hounded by the press, the way the paps shoved their cameras in their faces, the way they hung out at every corner waiting to snap pictures and how the media reported their articles in their tabloids, sometimes making up rumors which people believed simply because they were reading it in the newspaper.

 

Harry knew that this was a big step both for himself and for Louis. Louis was so well known, his lifestyle and work and philanthropy had him in the media many times. Louis had been on the cover of business magazine and interviewed by entertainment magazines, tabloids had speculated about his personal life but Harry knew that he himself was a nobody yet Louis was about to give them a big piece of his personal life. He was going to open his private doors for them and lead them into his personal life to let them see HIM! And meet HIM! And know HIM! Harry knew that his life was about to change in many ways than one. From today on wards, he will be known as Louis Tomlinson's boyfriend. They will look at him and will want to know everything about him and Louis and how he had managed to snag up the elusive Mr. Tomlinson. Harry knew he was about to lose a part of his identity because from today on wards his name will be over shadowed by Louis' name but that was a small price to pay for being with his love.

 

Harry sighed as he made his way up the small flight of steps leading up into Louis' private jet. Louis noticed his pensive face and once they were seated on the couch in the jet alone, Louis looked at him a little bit worried.

 

'Harry what's the matter? You have been awfully quiet.'

 

Harry looked at Louis' beautiful face, contouring his face with his eyes and wondered if he was ready for all of this, if he was ready to be in the spotlight. He knew that once they were confirmed as a couple, Harry would be required to accompany Louis to functions, dinners and exclusive parties. He would be required to be the perfect, supportive, loving boyfriend. Harry looked down away from Louis' burning blue eyes.

 

'Guess I'm a bit scared,' he admitted honestly. Louis shifted closer to him.

 

'What are you scared of love? Talk to me.' Harry bit down on his lower lip, hesitating. The jet's engines roared to life. Harry lifted his head and looked at Louis with clouded worried eyes.

 

'What if I embarrass you? The media will know me after today and will watch me. What if I mess up? What if I do something that will get you negative press? What if....what if I'm not good at it Lou?' Harry's voice was desperate.

 

'Harry you can never embarrass me. What even makes you think that?' Louis asked him hating how Harry thought so little of himself.

 

'I'm very awkward Lou. I mess up a lot of times.'

 

'Then be awkward. Be yourself Harry. You don't have to be someone you are not just because of the media. And if you mess up? So the fuck what? You are only human. We all are. But if it makes you feel better, I have people in my employment who can coach you on how to deal with the media and paps. Things to say or not say to them, situations to avoid. If you want, they can help you until you get the hang of it. If anything goes bad, I have people working for me who can make bad situations go away so don't worry too much about it. I will take care of you. And if anyone harasses you I can always sue their ass for harassment.' Louis chuckled and gave Harry a wink. Harry smiled at him, still feeling unsure but he trusted Louis and he had a thirteen hour flight to prepare himself. The plane began moving making its way to the runway for take off. Louis placed a small kiss on the corner of Harry's mouth.

 

'Seat belt,' he ordered and Harry was quick to fasten his belt. They held hands as the plane took off, Louis rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on the back of Harry's hand to calm him. Louis didn't want him to be worried about anything, least of all the media. Louis knew only too well that they would eat Harry up alive. He was new, fresh and dating him, making Harry a target for paps and tabloid hungry mongrels who delighted in printing anything as long as it got them reads and ratings.

 

Louis was highly aware that some of them had no scruples. They printed lies and rumors, placing the individual under a magnifying glass to be scrutinized and sifted through by the general public. Lies and rumors became topics of discussion and sometimes believed, lapped up by the naïve. Which was why Louis understood Harry's worries. They both knew that Harry would be put under the magnifying glass to be scrutinized by the public as the media ripped him open for all to see like the hungry wolves they were. Anything to sell a story!

 

Once they were airborne, he watched Harry relax. The flight attendant brought them tea, coffee and caramel muffins. It was a long flight and they had thirteen hours to look forward to for some alone time, with no phones or people interrupting their time. As if reading his mind, Harry asked him:

 

'So what do we do for the next thirteen hours?'

 

Louis hummed inside his head because the way Harry was looking and smelling right now, there was only one thing Louis wanted to do for the next thirteen hours. Strange as it was, Louis was a virgin when it came to the Mile High Club. He had never fucked anyone while airborne and it was something he had always wanted and dreamed about. He had never had any of his boys or exes on his private jet. It was only Harry. But now that he had Harry on board, for the time being Harry was out of bounds fuckwise.

 

'There are movies in that box next to the telly and I know how much you love your movies and shit,' Louis told him and Harry grinned.

 

'Lovely,' he said as he grabbed the remote control, turned the T.V on and started to scroll through the movies downloaded into the tiny box attached to the T.V. 'Oh look,' he suddenly exclaimed. 'The Lord of The Rings Trilogy.' Louis gave him an amused look.

 

'Why do I feel like you are taking me on yet another journey?' Harry smirked at him.

 

'This is one journey you don't want to miss trust me.' Louis laughed at his enthusiasm, the way he got over excited from his T.V shows, movies and books.

 

'I trust you. I trust you. I quite enjoyed Hogwarts to be honest. Where are we going this time?'

 

'Middle Earth,' Harry told him.

 

'Oh fuck that sounds bad.' Louis said. Harry was quite enjoying himself getting Louis to watch movies.

 

'Get ready to journey with the Hobbits.'

 

'The who?' Louis asked. Harry's innocent excitement was addictive. It even made him forget about wanting to fuck his brains out on his jet! Harry laughed and Louis reveled in it.

 

'Get comfy,' Harry suggested as he took off his boots and put them neatly side by side. Louis eyed his socks with mirth.

 

'Really? Thor socks?' he asked trying to hold in his laughter. Harry grinned like a little kid. He was so fucking cute that Louis wanted to reach out and pinch his cheeks.

 

'You should see my Thor boxers with the lightening bolts!' Harry told him. And Louis really really wanted to see him in those boxers.

 

'Lightening bolts?' Louis asked quirking an eyebrow.

 

'God of Thunder?' Harry asked back as if Louis was dumb which in this case he technically was. 'Seriously, don't you know anything?' Louis just had to laugh at the wounded expression on Harry's face.

 

'Guess not but then again that's why I have you. You're like a whole encyclopedia about movies, T.V series and books. You keep my brain well oiled.'

 

Unlike your dick! Which he hasn't been keeping oiled at all!

 

Louis groaned internally as Harry cuddled closer to him, placing his head on his chest. Louis wrapped his arm around him, holding him as close as possible. Harry clicked the remote to play the first movie.

 

Some twenty minutes into the movie, Louis huffed making Harry raise his head and look up at him.

 

'Not liking the movie?' Harry asked him.

 

'No its not that. It's just I don't get why the old guy from Hogwarts is here in this movie. I mean, it has nothing to do with Harry fucking Potter does it?' Harry stared at Louis for a second, thinking he was taking the piss out of him but when he remained serious, with his brows furrowed, Harry burst out laughing.

 

'There is no one from Hogwarts in this move Lou!' Harry told him still laughing.

 

'Yes there is,' Louis insisted. 'Look that old guy with the long beard and wizard hat. He was in fucking Hogwarts Harry don't tell me he wasn't! I remember a face!' Harry laughed so hard that tears came out of his eyes.

 

'Oh my God Louis that's not Dumbledor. That's Gandalf and the other one is Saruman,' Harry explained as he continued to laugh. Louis rolled his eyes dramatically.

 

'Harry they're all the fucking same what are you on about? Old men with fucking long beards and never ending hair who can do magic! And stop fucking laughing at me!' But Harry continued to choke on his laughter, enthralled by the cute puzzled look on Louis' face. He leaned closer, still giggling and kissed Louis softly.

 

'You are totally adorable,' Harry told him as he wiped his eyes. Louis' heart was doing the cha cha slide. Harry thought he was adorable! All of a sudden his cheeks felt very warm again. He opened his mouth to pass some witty comment but nothing came out.

 

You're so fucking whipped and so smitten by this boy!

 

'Look who's blushing,' Harry teased him.

 

'I'm not! Shut the fuck up Harry,' Louis snapped at him playfully.

 

'You so are,' Harry told him fondly and fuck Louis' face felt even hotter. Louis looked down, not believing he was feeling shy!

 

'It's just that I have never been complimented like that before,' he admitted. Harry kissed him again, softly, just lips moving on lips.

 

'Well you should you know and I will remember to do that more often,' he said against his lips. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'Can we get back to the fucking movie please you Elf?'

 

'Sure thing Dwarf,' Harry replied settling himself back on Louis.

 

'You did not just call me a dwarf,' Louis told him feigning offence.

 

'I did too,' Harry challenged. Louis grabbed his face between his two hands and peppered his face with wet kisses.

 

'You are a little shit you know that?' Louis told him as he continued to attack his face with kisses and Harry laughed and his laughter was music to Louis' ears. He had managed to distract him from his worries because all he wanted for Harry was for him to be happy and he was going to do everything in his power to make this boy happy because he deserved it and he had put him through a lot. He had a lot to amend for and he was going to make sure that Harry lived happily ever after. Even if it meant turning himself into a love sick sappy romantic idiot. For his boy, he would. For his boy, he would do anything!

 

COMING SOON.....WHAT HAPPENS IN LOS ANGELES....WELL DOESN'T STAY IN LOS ANGELES!!!!


	15. Anything For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again and I apologize for the delay in updating but getting back to the routine of life after seeing Harry and a week in London hasn't been easy. Also been busy writing Chapter 28 but here it is and next week I will try and update much more. Thank you for your constant reads and comments. Much appreciated.  
> All the love M.

Anything For You.

 

Louis had not been expecting such a big turn out of paparazzi. As soon as he and Harry approached the automatic glass doors leading out from the VIP lounge to their waiting car, Louis saw them. A whole throng of them waiting like a pack of hungry wolves ready to attack. He gripped Harry's hand tightly and gave him a what he hoped was a reassuring smile, not wanting to alarm him.

 

'Ready?' he asked him and Harry nodded, a smile on his face which Louis could see was tense and a little frightened. 'Do not let go of my hand. No matter what. They won't touch you Harry. There's security and if they do, I swear to God I'll sue them so hard they won't know what hit them.' Harry nodded again and took in a deep breath.

 

'Let's just go,' he told Louis in a soft voice. Louis laced his fingers through Harry's and they walked towards the door. As soon as the doors slid open, flashes began popping and a mob surrounded them both. Security kept them at arms length but the paps pushed and crowded around them. Harry took in a sharp intake of breath when he felt them pressing in on them and he huddled closer to Louis.

 

'Louis who's your new boy toy?' one shouted.

 

'Louis where did you find him?' another yelled.

 

'What's his name?' someone called.

 

'Is he another fling or is it serious?'

 

Louis held Harry's hand so tightly he was sure he was fracturing Harry's finger bones. Security helped them get to the car with difficulty because the paps all pressed around them tightly. Harry could hardly see with all the flashes going off in his face. He could feel them pressing up against him and a few times he stumbled because they pushed too hard, but Louis held him and made way for him to get into the car first, then Louis got in beside him. The cameras still flashed against the tinted glass of the cars and their shouts could still be heard along with hammering of their hands on the roof of the car and windows. The driver started up the car and tried to pull away from the curb but a few of them got in front of the car stopping their progress. Thankfully, security moved them out of the way and the driver pulled out on to the road. Once they were moving, Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked him looking him up and down as if checking for injuries.

 

'I'm okay,' Harry rasped. 'I'm just overwhelmed.' Louis kissed his head.

 

'I know baby. But you did so well. You braved them like a pro,' Louis praised him and Harry relaxed in his arms. Louis continued to hold him not wanting to let go of him. 'They didn't hurt you did they?'

 

'No Lou they didn't,' Harry told him snuggling in deeper into him. 'I told you I'm fine okay. Stop worrying.' Louis kissed his head again.

 

'I just want you to be okay.'

 

'I am okay. I am in L.A with you. What's there not to be okay about?' Louis laughed and cuddled him, taking the opportunity that Harry was actually letting him cuddle him this much. The driver drove into downtown L.A. towards the Metropolis. Harry looked at the scenery as it flashed by. He couldn't see much since it was nearly 2 am. All he could see where lights and beautiful sky scrapers and restaurants and people. He was so excited to be here and couldn't wait for Louis to take him sight seeing.

 

The driver finally stopped in front of a beautiful building. When Harry got out of the car and craned his neck up to look at the building, he still couldn't see the top of it. It was all glass and lit up like a Christmas tree. Louis took his hand and led them inside as the driver took care of their luggage. The inside of the building was quiet. A large foyer made up of white marble, white couches, white rugs, no walls just glass, a white desk to the side with a security guard behind it, some plants. It was plain and simple but very luxurious and sophisticated. Louis greeted the security and the security greeted him back. Louis tugged Harry towards the bank of elevators. He pressed the button and they got in. Harry noticed that there were 73 floors and he watched as Louis took out a key, inserted it into a hidden lock behind a small panel and when it opened, pressed the button to the penthouse. Of course it would be the penthouse! Nothing less than the penthouse for Louis Tomlinson! The ride up was a bit of a long one but finally the bell dinged and the elevator opened up straight into Louis penthouse.

 

Harry couldn't help but gasp as he stepped inside Louis bachelor pad. He walked into an open plan large living room with white leather couches similar to the ones in the foyer. There were no walls, just glass floor to ceiling windows that looked down on to the city of Los Angels below. When Harry looked down, resting his forehead against the glass, it made him dizzy. Off to the side there was a dining room with a long glass table that seated twelve with white high backed chairs and a big kitchen to the side, all in white and chrome, with an island in the middle and bar stools. Harry walked down a corridor and found two master bedrooms all in shades of white and cream, large beds with cushions and pillows and rugs on the floor, all looking down on the city below, closets the size of rooms. They had bathrooms with tubs that resembled jaccuzis and large walk in showers. Harry walked back into the living/kitchen area and Louis showed him to a door off the kitchen. He opened it for him and they were outside next to a fucking pool looking down on to the city with a barbeque area and sunbeds and trees draped in fairly lights wrapped around them.

 

'Holy fuck!' Harry finally breathed out and it made Louis laugh because Harry hardly ever swore. 'This is a beautiful home,' Harry told him. Louis came up from behind him as Harry stood by the pool and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, nuzzling his face into his neck.

 

'Its not a home Harry. Its just a house but with you here I am hoping it will turn into a home,' he whispered in his ear. Harry snuggled deeper into Louis, melting into the feeling of being wanted by the man he loved. He turned slowly in Louis' arms until he was face to face with him. The night was magical. Although the air was hot and humid, there was a cool breeze. Up here it was quiet, away from the noisy city below. The pool was lighted up in soft lights, reflecting its turquoise surface shimmering in the lights. The fairy lights around the trees made everything look soft and warm.

 

'You want this to be my home too?' Harry asked him. Louis studied his beautiful face, his eyes tracing his cheekbones and jaw, finally resting on his innocent green eyes.

 

'You are my home Harry,' Louis told him softly, trying to make him understand how much he meant to him, how deep his feelings for him ran. Just because he couldn't say those three words to him, didn't mean he didn't feel them! 'All this, the buildings, the furniture, as expensive as they are, they hardly matter to me anymore. They are just material things. My houses have always been empty even though at times they were full of people who didn't matter to me. But you, you Harry, you turned my houses into homes. You gave them souls. You made them places I look forward to going back to after a long day at work or a business trip. You make me long for home Harry, something I never did or had before.'

 

Harry opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't. Louis' words touched him deep down inside. He never had a home either since his father had kicked him out. He had shared apartments but never a home. He felt emotional by Louis' confession. He wrapped his arms around Louis' neck and pulled him closer. They kissed softly, languidly until Harry parted his lips and breathed into Louis' mouth, inviting him in and Louis accepted the invitation, sliding his tongue into Harry's warm mouth carefully. Louis licked into his mouth and gently sucked on Harry's tongue, the feeling sending a tightening sensation in his lower abdomen. A moan escaped Harry's mouth which reverbrated down into Louis' chest right where his heart resided and Louis felt that pull and tug deep in his abdomen, the sweet feeling of arousal mixed with deep love for his boy. He could feel heat course through him, Harry's body against his own was like a naked flame burning him.

 

His fingers dug into Harry's waist just above his jeans, pressing deeply into his flesh. God, Louis wanted him. He ached of want, not just to be inside him but for that closeness, that connection, the feelings Harry gave him when he made love to him. His fingers dug deeper and Harry gasped into Louis' mouth, his hands making their way into Louis' hair pulling his head closer. Louis felt his dick starting to harden, pressing achingly against his boxers. He broke the kiss and pulled away from Harry as if he was electrocuted. He was panting and willing his body to not react, hoping that Harry would not notice the slight bulge in his trousers but which he was sure that Harry had felt pressing against him when Louis held him close. It was a struggle Louis was finding very hard to maintain under wraps.

 

He cleared his throat and tried not to look at Harry with those plump red lips of his and those sinful innocent eyes looking back at him as if they were reaching deep down into his core and setting him on fire.

 

'Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat?' Louis asked him wanting to break this cursed moment of intimacy.

 

'No,' Harry told him, his voice raspy and deep. 'I just want a shower and go to sleep. Feels like I've been up for days.' Louis smiled at him.

 

'That's called jet leg.' Louis walked back inside with Harry following close behind. Their suitcases where by the elevator and they took them into the bedroom which Louis used whenever he stayed here. It was the biggest of the two bedrooms. The room had 3 walls that were all glass overlooking the city. The bed was against the only solid wall in the room so that while you lay in bed it felt as if you were just suspended in air, surrounded by sky and twinkling lights from the city below. Two doors flanked the bed, one led into the bathroom, the other into Louis' closet. Harry walked into the bathroom and closed the door softly behind him. After a few minutes Louis heard the shower.

 

He sat heavily on the edge of the bed looking out at the view which never really impressed him much before but today with Harry here, it somehow felt romantic. His love for Harry was swallowing him whole. He could feel himself falling and he was losing control. He couldn't help it, or stop it or slow it down. It was like a strong current dragging him and pulling him under and he was letting himself be dragged and drowned. He never knew he was able to feel anything, let alone feel something of this magnitude. He never knew he was capable of loving someone so much that it made his bones feel like rubber and his heart beat like a drum, beating to a silent tune that only Harry offered. Louis knew he had fallen in love with Harry, he was certain of it but he didn't know how to tell him. It was easier to show him by doing things for him and making him as happy as possible but he knew that Harry would want his words more than material things and Louis knew that he wanted to give them to him. He just didn't know how!

 

The door to the bathroom opened and Harry walked out in just a towel wrapped low around his waist, his body still wet from the shower, droplets of water glistening on his pale skin like diamonds. Louis couldn't take his eyes off of him and he could fucking swear that Harry was doing this to him on purpose, to torment him and punish him, knowing that Louis wanted him yet taunting him with what he couldn't touch or have.

 

Harry walked over to the suitcase, opened it, took out a pair of boxers then went back into the bathroom. When he closed the door, he rested his back against it and looked up at the ceiling. What was wrong with him? There was no way in hell Louis was ever going to touch him again. He knew that he had ruined everything by being afraid of him because really, there was no need to be afraid of Louis and he really wanted to give him what he needed but he couldn't. Not yet! Not after what had happened. He didn't know if he could go through with it and he had told Anthony about it and Anthony had told him to take all the time he needed. The thing was that his body craved Louis and he wanted to make things right between them but.....

 

You are scared. You are terrified of his hands touching you intimately. You are simply scared of his hands on you.

 

Harry closed his eyes tightly shut, willing his brain to shut up. He tried to calm his breathing, to compose himself before he walked back out into the bedroom.

 

'I am not scared of him,' he told himself with determination as he looked into the mirror over the basin. 'There is nothing to be scared of. He didn't do anything. He is kind and gentle. I need to stop being an idiot. Louis is not an angry person. He will not hurt me.'

 

How many timers are you going to repeat this mantra to yourself every single day?

 

'Until I manage to give myself over to him again,' Harry told his reflection with acute determination.

 

Five minutes later, Harry walked out into the bedroom in just his black Calvin Klein boxers hugging his hips tightly, accentuating his ass and crotch. Louis groaned internally and looked away. It was torture seeing him like this. He knew it was selfish of him to look at him and want to be buried deep inside of him but he desired him so badly, mostly the connection that making love to Harry had created between them, an unspoken connection that said so much and bound them together so deeply. Louis missed that the most but it was he who had severed that connection in the first place.

 

Harry sat next to Louis on the bed and looked out at the breathtaking view. 'It's so beautiful,' Harry mused, more to himself that to Louis.

 

'It is isn't it? I never fully appreciated it until you came along and romanticized it. Whenever I come here the first thing I'd do is close the blinds.'

 

'Why would you do that?' Harry asked him. 'Looking out on to this view from up here its like being on top of the world, a tower in the sky looking down on the world below.' Louis smiled fondly and ran his hand down Harry's long curls, placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

 

'My beautiful romantic poetic boy.'

 

Louis left Harry sitting there enjoying the view and went for a shower. When he came back out, Harry was still sitting there just gazing out at the view but his gaze was distant and vacant, as if his mind was thinking. Louis approached him slowly not wanting to startle him.

 

'Hey,' he told him softly as he handed him his tablets and a glass of water. Harry seemed to return to the present and looked up at Louis, taking the water and tablets which he swallowed. Louis stroked his hair. He could never get enough of touching his hair. 'Let's get to bed yeah. We have to meet Marc at one in the afternoon tomorrow and its already three thirty in the morning.'

 

Harry obediently got up and got into bed, loving the feel of the black silk sheets against his skin. Louis went to close the blinds.

 

'Leave them,' Harry told him. Louis gave him a dubious look.

 

'You will regret it in the morning,' Louis warned him but Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I won't,' he promised him.

 

'Okay then. As you wish,' Louis acquiesced as he climbed into bed. Immediately Harry slid across the bed into Louis' arms, placing his head on his chest, his fingers tracing circles on Louis' skin. Harry moved even closer to Louis if that was even possible, throwing his long leg over Louis' thighs as he cuddled into him. He was so torn between wanting to let Louis know that it was okay to touch him and being afraid that he wasn't ready to be touched yet. Still, his body played a lot of tricks on him and it was a battle between his body and mind: his body wanting and needing Louis and his mind still not ready to accept it.

 

'Good night,' Harry whispered. Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'Good night love.'

 

 

x

 

 

The next morning Harry woke up to warmth on his skin and something tickling his spine. He was sleeping face down, his face mushed into the pillow. He felt warmth on his back, his butt and the back of his thighs and yet again that tickling sensation which made him squirm. He cracked open his eyes to sun light filling the room. He quickly closed them tightly shut again until the tickling feeling made him squirm again and open his eyes. He turned his head a little and found Louis placing soft kisses up and down his spine, his beard tickling his skin.

 

'Tickles,' Harry groaned, his voice deep and rough from sleep. Louis chuckled against his skin and ran his chin up and down Harry's spine knowing the beard would tickle him.

 

'You'll give me beard burn,' Harry complained with a sweet smile on his face.

 

'Never!' Louis said in mocking shock horror. He placed a kiss at the bottom of Harry's spine just above the waist band of his boxers, his lips lingering there. Harry closed his eyes again relishing in the feelings Louis was giving him.

 

There is nothing to be afraid of.

 

He raped you and beat you.

 

It was just angry sex.

 

It was rape!

 

Harry rolled over and turned onto his back, instantly throwing his arm over his eyes shielding them from the glare of the morning sun and he groaned again.

 

'You should've let me close the blinds last night,' Louis told him with a smirk on his face. 'I did warn you.' Harry stretched his long limbs, loving the warmth of the sun on his body like a cat. Even though the A.C was on the glare of the mid-morning sun on the glass still emanated warmth and Harry basked in it. Louis watched him stretch and yawn with a deep longing.

 

'I got you breakfast,' he told him, distracting himself from Harry and his body. 'I'm not Judy but I did my best.' Louis got a tray off the dressing table with eggs on toast, a bowl of strawberries, orange juice and tea. Harry sat up, his back to the headboard and eyed the breakfast tray with a dubious smirk.

 

'You made all this?' he asked him a little skeptically because Louis had told him that he could venture into the kitchen for fear of burning it down to the ground.

 

'I did,' Louis told him a little proudly because he had never cooked anything in his life let alone make breakfast in bed for someone, so he was actually quite pleased with himself that he hadn't burned the whole block down. Louis placed the tray on Harry's lap and was rewarded with Harry's sunshine dimpled smile which, in Louis' eyes shone brighter than the sun outside which, made it worth the few times he burnt his fingers while making eggs and cursing himself to hell and back.

 

'Thank you Lou,' Harry told him as he tucked into his food, humming in appreciation. Louis felt as if he could make him breakfast for the rest of his life if only just to see him happy by his simple gesture, not to mention he felt contended that Harry actually liked his cooking. Louis looked at him closely, thinking about how to break the news to him that they were all over Twitter.

 

'Um before you go on Twitter and freak out, you are all over it!' Louis blurted out not seeing the point in beating around the bush. Harry lifted his eyes and met Louis' blue guarded eyes who were anticipating a Grade A hissy fit.

 

'I am?' Harry asked, his voice holding a hint of dread. Louis nodded.

 

'Yeah. With me. The pictures they took yesterday.'

 

'Oh,' Harry said as he took a sip of orange juice and furrowed his brows as if deep in thought analyzing what Louis had just told him. Louis looked at him curiously, waiting, still anticipating a hissy fit.

 

'We are trending,' Louis continued.

 

'We are?' Harry asked taking a bite of toast and chewing slowly. Louis was getting nervous by his calmness. He had really been expecting a major hissy fit and panic attacks. 'What are they saying?' Harry asked calmly. Louis shrugged.

 

'Mostly about who you are, where you came from, how did I meet you, how have you managed to become my boyfriend. You know the usual curious shit.' Louis told him trying to sound nonchalant. Harry nodded.

 

'Nothing bad?'

 

'Nothing bad baby. What were you expecting? There is nothing bad to say about you.' It was Harry's turn to shrug.

 

'If they can't find anything nice to say they dig up shit. I watch a lot of entertainment T.V. Lou,' Harry pointed out. Louis squeezed his knee.

 

'Well they didn't say anything bad. You can check it all out later. And by the way, you looked pretty gorgeous in the pictures,' Louis told him giving him a wink. Harry smiled at him shyly.

 

'Thank you,' he told him as a pink blush spread across his cheeks and Louis just loved how humble he was and that he could still make him blush.

 

'Right,' Louis told him as he walked towards the closet, 'as soon as you are done, you need to get dressed so we can go and meet Marc. He's a right asshole about tardiness and I'm pretty sure he will crawl up my ass if I take you to him late.' Harry nodded as he continued to eat, occasionally taking a sip of his tea. 'We need to make room in this closet for your stuff baby,' Louis told him from inside the big room that served as his closet. 'I'll get one of the maids to sort it out and put your stuff in here. Its big enough for the both of us.' Harry hummed in agreement because his mouth was full and he couldn't actually reply.

 

An hour later, they were holding hands in the elevator as Louis pressed the down button for the garage. Once the elevator opened, Harry could see that it was a private garage, Louis' private garage and his mouth dropped open at the cars parked there. There was a black Jaguar, a black Cadillac Escalade, a white Maserati convertible, a compact two seater silver Mercedes, a red 599 GTO Ferrari, a blue convertible Lamborghini Huracan and a classic 1969 Shelby Ford Mustang. Harry glared with his mouth open almost drooling at the shiny cars before him. Louis looked at him and laughed.

 

'You can pick one for yourself later but if we don't move we're going to be late and I don't want Marc up my ass,' Louis told him as he plucked a key from a rack beside the garage door. He pressed the automatic beeper on the key chain and the Maserati lit up.

 

'We're going in THAT?' Harry asked shocked. Louis shrugged.

 

'Unless you prefer another one?' Harry shook his head furiously, his curls fly in every direction.

 

'No. No I mean its a Maserati convertible,' he exclaimed and Louis laughed as he got in. Harry got in the passenger side, admiring the formidable car. 'Its beautiful,' he said. Louis started the ignition.

 

'Just a car baby. Seat belt.' Harry's eyes widened at him.

 

'Just a car?' he asked. 'The cars you have here are like a scene from Fast and fucking Furious.' Louis laughed loudly as he pulled out of the garage into the bright L.A sun. They both put on their sunglasses.

 

'Which one would you like?' Louis asked him. 'I'm not going to be your fucking chauffeur.'

 

'You're really going to give me one?' Harry asked him dumbfounded. Louis kept his eyes on the road.

 

'Yes baby or if you don't like any of those I'll buy you one that you like,' Louis said as if he was offering to buy him an outfit from Primark.

 

'Louis!' Harry exclaimed. 'They cost like thousands. You can't just give me a car!' Louis stopped at a red light and looked at Harry.

 

'Hissy fit?' he asked him calmly.

 

'I mean....those cars they are expensive.......'

 

'Okay okay just borrow one alright. Is borrowing okay for you?' Harry smiled happily.

 

'Yes thank you,' he told him as he settled in his seat and enjoyed the view while Louis drove them towards Beverley Hills.

 

After a while of driving in down town traffic and Louis cursing red lights, they arrived at Marc's studio. Louis parked the car in the private underground car park which was reserved for Marc himself, his celebrity guests and staff. They took the one floor elevator that opened into Marc's studio and Louis just had to smile when he heard Harry beside him gasp and tighten his fingers around his hand.

 

The room was big and open with a full size catwalk running down the middle, with a stage and curtains at the back. It looked very professional. There were chairs on either sides of the catwalk and a red couch at the front which was where Marc sat during rehearsals before his shows so he could view his models and clothes. Louis led Harry past the rows of chairs and to the back of the stage at the rear of the catwalk. He parted the black curtains, allowing Harry to walk in before him. They emerged into an even bigger room which was bustling with people. Harry could see a designing area where Marc and his team designed clothes, a sewing area full of different materials, sewing machines and mannequins sporting half finished designer wear. At the very back of the large open space was a fitting area where some male models where trying out outfits with seamstresses fixing them up with pins. There was also a makeup/hair area which made everything look very professional indeed.

 

As Harry looked around in awe, because he had never been to a famous designer's studio before, Marc spotted them.

 

'Darling!' Marc called out as he began walking towards them. Louis stepped forward to greet Marc but Marc frowned at him, playfully slapping his arm. 'Not you! Him!' he said turning to Harry. 'Darling how are you? Looking magnifique as always,' he praised Harry as he took both his hands in his and kissed his cheeks. Harry blushed and Louis rolled his eyes hard.

 

'Can you get yourself a man and lay off mine please?' Louis asked him feigning annoyance, which was not feigning at all but he hid it behind a playful voice. Marc looped his arm through Harry's and looked at Louis.

 

'Official now are we? I never thought I would live to see the day when you officially introduced a partner to the world.' Marc turned to look at Harry. 'Honey you looked chic in those pictures. Simple yet effective. You left your mark darling.' Harry smiled.

 

'I haven't seen them yet,' he admitted. Marc gasped and tugged Harry closer to him.

 

'Oh sweetheart you are so modest. You looked like a rock star next to this old piece of junk here,' Marc told him jutting his chin out towards Louis, making Harry giggle. Louis scowled at Marc as he pulled Harry closer to him, removing Marc's arm away from Harry.

 

'If you don't mind,' Louis told him slapping his arm away.

 

'Bitch,' Marc hissed playfully at him.

 

'Oh stop being a fucking drama queen and tell me what the fuck we're doing here. We're on holiday in case you don't know!' Louis told him. It was Marc's turn to roll his eyes.

 

'We are here to make this gorgeous man into a model.' Marc clapped his hands together, getting the attention of the people in the room. 'Great. Marilyn get Stefan and Christof please. We are turning Harry here into a model,' he told them excitingly. Louis furrowed his brows at Marc.

 

'Who are these people?' he asked him. 'I need to know who I'm trusting Harry with.' Marc tapped his index finger against his bottom lip.

 

'Let's see. We have Greta who is an ex-Nazi, Marilyn who is a descendant of Charles Manson, Stefan is a vampire and Christof a ruthless Viking who likes beheading people. Seriously Louis? Protective much?' Marc rolled his eyes and shook his head as four people walked over to them. 'These are Greta and Marilyn my assistant stylists and Stefan and Christof are two of my regular models who work my shows. They will show Harry the art of walking for Marc Jacobs. Greta and Marilyn will see to his wardrobe. Happy?' Marc asked Louis.

 

Harry looked fondly at Louis with the softest gaze, giving him heart eyes which Marc found adorably sweet and was jealous of because nobody had ever looked at him the way Harry was looking at Louis.There was total adoration in the boys gaze for fuck's sake!

 

'I will be alright Lou. Don't worry okay,' Harry reassured him as he played with Louis' fingers and Marc resisted the urge to give him an "awww". Greta and Marilyn tugged Harry away from a reluctant Louis, with Harry looking over his shoulder smiling at Louis, mouthing an I love you to him.

 

'I swear to God that boy adores you like a nun worshiping Christ in a church,' Marc said, both of them still looking at Harry being dragged away. Louis kept his eyes on Harry, watching him laugh with Marc's crew as they took him back to where the clothes were on display. Marc eyed Louis and noticed that there was a malenchonic faraway look in his gaze.

 

'So you're officially taken then now huh? Guess that ruins all my hopes for a chance,' Marc commented. Louis scoffed.

 

'As if you stood a chance!'

 

'Well one can always hope,' Marc replied playfully.

 

'Hope crushed and dented. I'm a taken man,' Louis said proudly. Marc laughed and led Louis to sit on the couch at the head of the catwalk.

 

'So why do you look so sad?' Marc asked him, taking Louis by surprise but Louis wasn't really surprised that Marc would notice. Louis sighed heavily but said nothing. Marc was the only person he could talk to. The only person he could trust.

 

'You know, I can almost see the mechanical parts in your brain working as you decide whether to tell me or not what's going on with you,' Marc told him. Louis hated how Marc knew him so well. Damn him!

 

'I did something Marc,' Louis whispered. 'Something very bad. Anthony said....'

 

'Wait, you're back to seeing Anthony?' Marc interrupted him sitting up straight in his seat. 'If you're seeing Anthony its defo bad. What the fuck did you do Louis?'

 

Louis looked at Marc in what Marc could only describe as a broken look, a look that pleaded for understanding and for Marc not to judge him. Marc felt nervous and his skin tingle all over with dread because in all the years he had known Louis, he had never seen him look this way. Marc felt remorse radiating off of him and he knew that whatever Louis had done, it was eating him alive. Marc braced himself.

 

'I...I took Harry down to the basement,' Louis said, his voice so low Marc hardly heard him. Marc looked at him in shocked horror.

 

'Oh my God you did what? Are you insane? Have you lost your fucking mind?' Marc shrieked. He simply couldn't imagine Harry down in that basement, tied to that God awful bed that resembled a medieval torture device, being beaten. He just couldn't imagine how the hell Louis could take a belt to that beautiful boy. He wasn't supposed to! He had said so himself that he would never take Harry down there! Marc ground his teeth together trying to compose himself and not verbally abuse Louis.

 

'Did you hurt him?' he asked him in a low voice that was almost a growl.

 

'The worst one I've hurt yet,' Louis admitted.

 

'Dear God,' Marc groaned, running a hand over his hair. Louis looked at Marc with sorrow in his eyes.

 

'I...I raped him,' he whispered. Marc's mouth opened, then closed then opened again but nothing came out. He looked at Louis as if he had been struck by lightening as the tears welled up in his eyes.

 

'Why would you do that to him?' Marc asked him, the lump that had formed in his throat making his voice sound croaked. Louis shook his head, his face pale.

 

'I had just got back from a business trip and we...we were being intimate. He said he loved me. It was the first time someone ever said that to me since...and it just.....' Louis paused and took in a shuddering breath as his vision blurred from the tears forming in his eyes as he recollected the memories of that night. 'It reminded me of Him. He used to say that to me after.....'

 

He stopped again, choking on his words. He swallowed hard, trying not to cry in front of Marc. He hated being weak. 'I freaked out. It took me back to....Him. Back....there! I didn't see anything anymore. I just went back there Marc. I heard His voice say it not Harry's. I swear I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt him. Nobody ever said those words to me and when he did....I just....I.....'

 

Louis stopped again. His chest hurt. His lungs burned. His heart wanted to break out of his rib cage. He swallowed back the tears, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat painfully. 'When he said those words, I blacked out. I didn't know what I was doing until it was too late. I heard him scream and tell me to stop but I couldn't. I was back there Marc and it was my own fucking voice that I heard, crying and screaming. I was back in that room. With Him!' Marc watched him struggle to not break down in front of him. He knew Louis hated weakness and hated even more making himself vulnerable. Marc understood him. He wasn't about to justify in any way what he had done to Harry, but he understood him. Louis wiped his face, brushing away a few stray tears quickly.

 

'I hurt him Marc. I hurt him so bad he had to go to the hospital to be treated. I never did that kind of damage to anyone before and it had to be him that I hurt the most.' Marc felt his mouth go dry. What could he say to all of this? Could he even say anything at all?

 

'How is Harry now?' Marc chose to ask him because he really couldn't think about what Louis had done anymore. Louis shook his head in defeat.

 

'Physically he's fine but emotionally not so well. He's in deep denial about the whole thing. He won't admit to what I did to him. He told Anthony it was just angry sex because he had made me mad and....' Louis stopped because he choked up again. Marc reached out a hand tentatively and rubbed his back up and down to try and comfort his friend because he was clearly hurting really bad. Louis continued:

 

'He blames all that happened on himself and just won't talk about it. Not to Anthony. Not to me. He didn't even tell his friends what happened. He just told them that he had slipped on ice and hurt his back. He chooses to act as if it never happened, none of it.'

 

'Yet he is with you,' Marc pointed out.

 

'Yes he's with me after all of it. Even after I sent him away and told him I don't want him.' Marc gasped.

 

'You sent him away and told him you didn't want him after all you put him through?' Marc asked him flabbergasted. There was no end to the shocking revelations he was getting from Louis today. The way Marc phrased it made Louis feel ashamed.

 

'Yes I wanted him to forget me, to find someone else who would love him and treat him right. I wanted him to be happy away from me. He doesn't deserve a twisted fuck like me. But he...' Louis paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'He was bad after I sent him away. He began starving himself and self harming.'

 

'Oh dear Jesus that poor poor boy,' Marc groaned.

 

'Its all because of me,' Louis said, more to himself than to Marc. 'Its all my fault yet he forgave me without even batting an eyelash. He didn't even hesitate or think about it. He didn't give me shit. Nothing. He just forgave me but I damaged him and I witnessed it first hand. He was terrified of me. I gave him nightmares. I was the fucking monster in his dreams. Anthony tries to get him to talk about it, to open up but he won't. I want him to be mad at me Marc. I want him to yell at me and make me feel guilty for what I did. I want him to curse me and tell me to go to hell. I can deal with that but knowing he's damaged, that I damaged him its killing me. Anthony gave him something to help keep his anxiety away and to sleep better but its not getting better because its there between us. Its as if it never happened and the only thing that reminds us both that it did happen is that he won't be intimate with me at all. He won't let me touch him and I can understand that and in a way that's my punishment. Making love to him connected us in a very deep way and the fact that we don't have that connection, well that's my punishment. I'm not expecting him to let me touch him after what I did.'

 

Louis hung his head feeling a little relieved that he could talk and let it out. Marc didn't know what to do with this Louis. The Louis he knew was sassy, confident, a control freak, demanding, domineering, a ruthless son of a bitch. This Louis was one that Marc had never met before, a broken, human Louis and he really didn't know what to do or say. Louis looked up at him and gave him a feeble smile.

 

'Its the fucking longest I've gone without sex or beating someone in my entire life. He's changing me Marc and I'm so fucking scared.' Marc sat up a little straighter on the couch.

 

'Wait what? How long have you been abstaining?' Marc asked him. Louis seemed to be thinking.

 

'Maybe five or six weeks now.' Marc's eyes went wide and he gaped at Louis.

 

'And you're around Harry?' he asked not hiding the astonishment in his voice. Louis looked at him a little confused.

 

'Yeah. Why?'

 

'Why?' Marc said stressing out the word. 'Do you realize what you are suppressing inside of you and what a danger you are to Harry? What if you snap and beat him again?'

 

'I won't!' Louis snapped.

 

'Well duh Louis that's what you said to me before and guess what? You did it! You can't fucking suppress it.'

 

'Marc I tried it. I had boys over in the basement but I lost the ability. And besides, I promised Harry that I wouldn't have sex with anyone but him. If its not him, then I won't have sex and if he won't have me, then that's my punishment.' Marc was getting a little frantic.

 

'Louis darling, listen to me, you can't do this. You can't hold it in. I. Know. You! You will snap. Don't you see that that boy is in danger from you? Do you want to hurt him again?'

 

'No God no,' Louis rushed out.

 

'Then you need to fucking get it out of your system because if you lay one damn finger on him again, I swear to God Louis, I will personally break your fucking hands for you. Now that I know what you did to him, there ain't no way in hell I'm going to sit back and let you walk about him like a time bomb waiting to happen.'

 

'I won't....' Louis began but Marc interrupted him.

 

'You will. You know you fucking will! You said you wouldn't and you did. You are not made to suppress this Louis! Its your venting outlet. Its what keeps you sane! Remember that one time when we were still together and you were sick with the flu and you couldn't get out of bed for a whole week? Remember how you beat the living fuck out of me when you were well enough because you hadn't had a vent in a week? That is what you will do to Harry if you don't deal with it and I will not let you hurt him again. I love you but I won't let you Louis.' Louis looked at Marc helplessly.

 

'So what do I do?' Marc took his hand in between both of his.

 

'You are going to be a good dear and call one of your boys, go back to your penthouse and release it Louis. That's what you are going to do.'

 

'What if I can't again?' Louis asked him frustrated.

 

'Darling, I know your past. Think of it. Let it fuel you. Get angry. Think of Him and by God you will beat the living shit out of the boy of your choice. Harry shouldn't be in danger and he shouldn't be the one paying for your past. Does he know?' Louis shook his head.

 

'Anthony reckons I should tell him.

 

'And I agree.' Again Louis shook his head.

 

'I can't. I can't make myself that vulnerable to him. He makes me weak already so I really can't open up myself to him.'

 

'But why not?' Marc asked him perplexed. 'Clearly the boy adores you. Love shines out of his eyes when he looks at you and I bet rainbows shoots out of his ass too!' Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'Guess I'm just afraid of losing him. The thought of losing him terrifies me. I never depended on anyone and ....I depend on him Marc. I can't afford to lose him. If I tell him, he will be disgusted and he will leave me.' Marc remained silent for a moment.

 

'I'm going to ask you a question and I need you to give me an honest answer with no Tomlinson beating about the bush bullshit. Just a straight up honest answer.' Louis held Marc's gaze awaiting the question. 'Do you love him?'

 

Marc saw his blue eyes soften and a small smile appear on his lips. 'I do,' Louis whispered. 'I do so much.' Marc squeezed his hand.

 

'Then protect him. You are a danger to him in this state Louis. He doesn't need to know....'

 

'He knows I'm not giving up my boys or my basement. I told him that before he agreed to move in with me.'

 

'And he still chose to stay with you?' Marc asked him a little blown away by what Louis had just said.

 

'Yes.'

 

'Wow, I mean the boy is so gone for you to accept it. Still, what the eyes don't see, the heart won't grieve. Just because he accepted this condition you laid on him doesn't mean you get to flaunt it in his face because trust me Louis, it will hurt him. He really doesn't need to know when you meet up with your boys. Don't just protect his body, protect that beautiful, kind heart of his that knows no limits when it comes to giving love especially to you.'

 

'I am not going to cheat on him,' Louis defended. Marc huffed.

 

'You are engaging in an activity with men that are not him. Of course he will feel that but he will make you think that he's okay with it simply because its something that you need but deep inside it will kill him and believe me when I tell you that he will cry into his pillow when he's alone. I know what I'm saying. Just do your thing quietly. He doesn't need to know.'

 

Before Louis could say anything further to what Marc had just said, the curtain on the stage parted and Harry walked out, flanked by Stefan and Christof, Greta and Marilyn behind them. Louis' mouth fell open and he felt the breath knocked out entirely out of his lungs. Harry was wearing a pair of black tight leather pants hanging dangerously low on his hips, the button low past the hair of his happy trail, a red chiffon shirt open to reveal his torso and tattoos and he was barefooted. His hair had been arranged and was down past his shoulders in a soft array of brown curls that Louis wanted to run his fingers through. He looked like an angel, a seductive angel, his pale skin and dark tattoos contrasting with the black leather pants and the red of the shirt giving him a sexy and erotic look. Louis' mind ran with sudden wild thoughts about how he wanted to lay him out on that fucking catwalk, lick every inch of his skin, suck love bites between his thighs and make him come all over that pretty shirt.

 

'Oh my my my! Look at that salacious angel,' Marc said, interrupting Louis' obscene thoughts, which were making him rather hard in his pants. Louis tore his eyes away from Harry with difficulty and looked at Marc who was nearly salivating over Harry. Louis got the urge to punch him in the face.

 

'Unless you want me to unleash my fucking pent up energy on you stop drooling over my man!' Louis growled at him and that only made Marc smile. Louis looked back at Harry who was laughing with the two models as they showed him how to work the catwalk.

 

'Come on baby sashay for me. Work those hips. I know you know how to work them,' Marc hooted playfully. Louis nudged him hard in the ribs with his elbow.

 

'He is not your fucking baby!' he snapped at him. Marc chuckled. He knew Louis was the jealous type where Harry was concerned and he loved edging him on.

 

'He might be if you lay one wrong finger on him,' Marc pushed him.

 

'You're a fucking skank you know that?' Louis spat at him. Marc laughed.

 

'Bitch please. I'm Harry's new protector and yes I promoted myself to that position.' Just then Harry began walking the catwalk, hips swaying, shirt open, long legs clad in leather striding forward and long hair flying. Marc gasped.

 

'Holy mother of fucking pearl! He's an au natural! He's gliding on that damn runway. I told you he was fucking born to be a model and he's mine, all mine!' Louis huffed out in frustration. He didn't like the way Marc was gushing all over Harry. He watched him walk and truth be told, he had to admit that really Harry was a natural and he should thank Marc for suggesting he should try to walk for him. Louis could see Harry becoming pretty big in the fashion world. Louis had to admit that Harry was working it and he was working it damn good.

 

When Harry got to the head of the catwalk, he looked at Louis, their eyes locking and he smiled at him, making Louis feel fifty shades of warm inside. Marc got up and stepped up on to the catwalk next to Harry turning a right circle around him, eyeing him up and down. He stopped behind him, checking out what Louis thought was Harry's ass and he was already getting up off the couch to go at him when Marc waved over Greta and Marilyn.

 

'I think he could do with a smaller size pants. It sags at the back,' Marc told them showing them where the pants indeed were a little too saggy. 'I don't want him looking like a fucking thug. I want him to look sexy and hot. I want the pants to hug his ass,' Marc told them as he slapped Harry's ass playfully and that was enough for Louis to have him sprint off the couch and on to the catwalk next to Harry. He dealt Marc a killer look but Marc only smirked at him and gave him a wink. Harry looked at Louis, his smile faltering because he was....

 

Afraid?

 

Louis would not lose his temper here.

 

You didn't do anything!

 

He saw Marc and Louis exchange a look.

 

'Maybe you should go and take care of business,' Marc suggested giving Louis a knowing look as he raised an eyebrow at him and folded his arms across his chest. Louis couldn't deny the frightened look that had flitted across Harry's face and he hated that Harry thought he would get mad at him for something he didn't do. He smiled at Harry and took his hand in his.

 

'I um have to go and take care of a little business. They called me from the company. I shouldn't be too long yeah.' Harry sighed in relief even though he tried not to show it.

 

'Okay yeah,' he replied giving Louis' hand a squeeze.

 

'You'll be okay with Marc and I will try and not to be too long,' Louis promised. Then he turned to Marc. 'Take care of him and make fucking sure you keep your fucking hands to yourself. Harry, if he steps out of line, slap him. You have my permission.' Everyone started laughing and Louis smiled too as he placed a kiss on Harry's cheek. 'You're doing so well baby. You look amazing. I will be back in time to take you for a late lunch okay.' Harry kissed him softly on the lips and gave him a smile and a nod. Louis gave Marc a warning look.

 

'Alright alright I will behave with your boy. No monkey business. Now shoo go away,' Marc told him playfully. Louis turned and left. 'Okay ladies and gents let's get back to work. Harry, go to fitting with Greta to get you into a smaller pair of pants. Chop chop guys, show is in five short days and we have much to do.'

 

Louis left even though he felt half a heart leaving Harry behind but as he rode down the elevator to the parking below, he knew he had to do this. Marc was right. He had been edgy and frustrated for a while now, his patience wearing thin with everything and everyone. Wanking wasn't doing much for him except straining his right hand and giving him cramps in his whole arm. He couldn't be around Harry like this. He had to release it. Before getting into his car, he looked up his contacts to find one of his boys that he always used whenever he was in L.A.

 

 

X

 

 

About two hours later, Louis returned to Marc's studio. He felt so much better and it was only now that he realized how much pent up frustration he had held inside of him and how truly Harry had been in danger of ending up the target of his frustrations again. When Tristan had arrived at his door, Louis doubted if he could do it. It felt wrong and his heart wasn't in it because Harry was on his mind but then he remembered Marc's words about how he should keep Harry safe and how he was a danger to him and Louis had unleashed it all on Tristan.

 

However, he had kept his promise and hadn't fucked Tristan even though he wanted to really bad and seeing him there all sprawled out for him and ready for the taking was so hard to walk away from. It would've been a quickie but he couldn't bring himself to cheat on Harry. Instead, he had sent away a confused Tristan and he had gone into the shower and tossed himself off till he came hard with Harry's name on his lips.

 

As he walked into the room with the runway, Louis saw that it was empty so he went through the back curtains into Marc's work area and he found Harry talking with Marc and his team. He was dressed in his own clothes and he looked relaxed. Louis walked over to them and bend down to place a kiss on top of Harry's head.

 

'Hey baby how did it go?' Louis asked him. Harry beamed up at him.

 

'Good. Very good. Marc said I only need a few more tries and I'm good to go,' Harry told him proudly and looked at Marc. Marc looked at Louis.

 

'You took care of business?' he asked him raising an eyebrow at him. Louis nodded.

 

'I did. It's all sorted,' he told him as he continued to stroke Harry's hair and Harry almost purred under the soft touches of Louis' hand. 'So can I take my man back now? He must be starving and I would like to get him fed if you don't mind.' March chuckled.

 

'Yes we're done here. Bring him down Wednesday for another walk and Friday for the final fitting to make sure what he's wearing fits properly. Then the show is on Saturday and don't forget the after party,' Marc told them.

 

'Alright we won't forget anything. Persistent shit,' Louis said playfully tugging Harry out of the chair. 'Shall we go get lunch then?' Harry got up and straightened his shirt.

 

'Yeah I'm famished.' He said bye to everyone and see you Wednesday then walked out with Louis down to the underground parking. As Louis pulled out into the late afternoon sunshine, he heard Harry exhale softly and looked at him.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked him. Harry smiled, tilting his face up towards the sun.

 

'I am. I am happy. Thank you Lou.' he told him. Louis smiled.

 

'There's nothing to thank me for baby. I'm glad you're having fun and you're relaxed. Are you excited for Saturday?'

 

'I am,' Harry told him. 'I'm excited for this whole holiday here with you.' Louis reached over and squeezed his knee.

 

'I have a surprise for you tonight,' he said and Harry looked at him.

 

'Really?' Louis nodded.

 

'Let's get lunch then head home. My driver is picking us up at 8 pm and don't ask any questions or fish for hints cos you're getting nothing. You will have to wait for tonight.' Harry pretended to pout. Louis laughed. 'As cute as you are, that won't work either so just give up already.'

 

 

x

 

 

Harry bounced with excitement waiting for Louis to get ready so he could take him for his surprise. He had been trying to persuade him to at least drop a hint all afternoon but nothing. Louis had been serious when he had told him that he would get nothing in way of hints. After lunch they had returned to the penthouse and Harry had spent sometime in the pool while Louis lounged on a sun bed. Now it was almost eight in the evening and Louis wasn't even ready yet and Harry was nervous. In a cool way.

 

He looked at himself in the living room mirror for the millionth time. He wore his black skinny jeans and a Roberto Cavalli leopard print sheer shirt, as always leaving it open down to his navel, his signature Saint Laurent beige boots and his hair down to his shoulders. He knew Louis liked his hair to be down so he wore it down for him.

 

Finally, Louis emerged from the bedroom, looking immaculate as always in dark suit pants, a light grey shirt, the cuffs rolled up a little and his black Oxfords. He had trimmed his beard and his hair was quiffed. Harry swooned a little at the sight of him but he really wanted to get going.

 

'Can we go now?' Harry asked him impatiently. Louis smiled as he put on his Rolex.

 

'Someone is impatient and in a hurry,' he commented, taking it easy on purpose. Harry huffed.

 

'Louuuu,' he whined and Louis decided that he had tormented the boy enough. He picked up his house keys.

 

'Well come on then, lets go. We don't want to be late now do we?' Harry gave him a what the fuck look but followed him to the door. Once downstairs, a car was waiting for them. They got in and the driver pulled out into traffic. Harry bounced his knee up and down. Louis placed a hand on his knee.

 

'Relax,' he told him with a hint of authority in his voice. Harry stopped but began fidgeting with his fingers. He didn't know the area so he had no idea where they were going except that they were heading for down town. After a few minutes of Harry fidgeting and moving around restlessly and Louis smirking to himself, the car stopped in front of a venue. They got out and Harry stood immobilized on the pavement. Louis had brought him to Sticky Fingers. To a fucking Rolling Stones concert.

 

'Surprise!' Louis told him. Harry was transfixed looking at the venue and the Rolling Stones posters advertising that the band were playing tonight.

 

'Its...you...they...I'm here...Louis what the fuck?' Harry stammered and Louis laughed loudly.

 

'I take it the surprise has worked?' Harry tore his eyes off the venue and looked at Louis.

 

'Worked? I can't function. Are we really seeing the Rolling Stones live?' Harry asked baffled.

 

'Yes.' Louis replied still laughing.

 

'Oh my fuck!' Harry said. 'Oh fuck! Its the Rolling Stones. The fucking Rolling Stones.' Louis laughed harder because he had never heard Harry use so many "fucks" in one sentence.

 

'Look who's fangirling,' Louis teased him as he took his hand and tugged him inside. Obviously they didn't wait in the queue. Louis Tomlinson never waited in queues. Harry let Louis tug him inside the empty venue because he was really in awe. He was about to see his favorite band live!! Louis walked into the venue as if he owned the place, which Harry thought about it, he might as well could. He didn't know! Louis nodded at the bouncers and hurried on inside with Harry in tow.

 

Once inside the venue Harry looked around in utter awe. He had never been to a concert before and here he was about to see The Rolling Stones. Louis continued to walk inside and Harry wondered what type of seats they had. Knowing Louis they were probably seated in VIP. Harry was so lost in the moment that he did not notice Louis going through a side door. Once the door closed behind them, Harry sort of came back to his senses. He looked around as Louis tugged on his hand to have him follow him down the corridor they were now in.

 

'Where are we going?' Harry asked him.

 

'You'll see,' Louis replied with a smirk. He stopped in front of a door, knocked and pushed the door open. Together they walked inside and Harry nearly died when he saw Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ronnie Wood and Charlie Watts in front of him. He stood there gaping at his idols as Louis went to greet them. His stomach was doing back flips and he wanted to scream, jump up and down and hug them, tell them how big of a fan he was but he just couldn't react. He was shocked. Louis came over to him.

 

'Hey are you alright? Come let me introduce you.' Harry let Louis lead him until he was face to face with Mick fucking Jagger who was smiling at him.

 

'Mick this is my boyfriend Harry. He is such a big fan of you guys as you can probably see.' Harry kept gaping at Mick Jagger totally starstruck until Louis nudged him hard in the ribs bringing him back to the present.

 

'I um I'm s-so pleased to m-meet you,' Harry stammered taking Mick's offered hand and shaking it like his life depended on it. Mick smiled at him.

 

'Nice to meet you Harry and congrats on getting a leash on this boy here. I never thought I would see it happening.' Harry's tongue felt heavy in his mouth but mentally slapped himself to stop acting like an idiot. 'Come meet the others,' Mick told him as he walked over to the other three and introduced Harry. Louis watched him in total fascination. Harry was like fan girl with a girl crush and Louis couldn't help himself but fond over his boy. He looked so happy. He was beaming. Louis walked over to them.

 

'Hey Mick do me a favor. Sign one of your t-shirts for Harry. The one he has is all ratty and torn but he won't part with it,' Louis told him. Mick smiled.

 

'Not a problem,' he told him as they all signed a t-shirt, a poster, a tour book and their latest album on vinyl for Harry. Harry couldn't believe it when they handed him the signed stuff and couldn't stop thanking them. After a few more minutes of the meet and greet session and of Louis taking photos of Harry with the band, they were shown to their VIP seating.

 

'Happy?' Louis asked him.

 

'Happy?' Harry asked him. 'I'm on cloud nine Lou. I feel like I'm walking on air. I still can't believe I'm here, that I met The Rolling Stones,' Harry gushed out in one breath. 'And that I have signed merchandise. Thank you Lou so so much.' Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and hugged him tightly.

 

'You are most welcome. I'm happy to see you happy.'

 

The concert was amazing. Harry sang, danced, clapped and sometimes even screamed and Louis just watched him as he sipped champagne, feeling happy, relaxed and ever so in love with his dorky boyfriend.

 

 

X

 

 

The next day, Louis took Harry sightseeing. He took him round the city and loved the way Harry got excited about almost everything Louis showed him. The only times Harry did not get excited was when the paps cornered them and took pictures. Louis protected him as much as he could but the hounds still wanted a piece of Harry and Louis would be damned if he has going to let them have him. Harry didn't complain about it to Louis but Louis knew that the media made him nervous.

 

Next stop after lunch, Louis took him to Hollywood Boulevard where celebrities had their stars on the pavement. Harry hopped from one to the other taking pictures of every celebrity star. Louis was so happy watching him. As Harry took another photo, he straightened and looked down further the pavement.

 

'Look Lou, there's a small crowd over there. I think they are putting someone's star in. Let's go see,' Harry told him full of excitement, tugging him to where there were some people. Louis smiled and let Harry drag him over. One of the men in charge of putting the tile with the star in the pavement greeted Louis.

 

'Right on time Sir,' the man told him. Louis nodded and Harry looked at him a little confused. The man turned to Harry.

 

'You must be Harry Styles. If you can step this way please Sir,' he told him politely. Now Harry was totally confused.

 

'What's going on Lou?' Harry asked him.

 

'Just go with the man,' Louis told him and Harry did so but he kept his eyes on Louis trying to figure out what was going on. Louis only smiled at him. The man next to Harry cleared his throat to get his attention.

 

'Mr. Styles we are proud to present you with your very own star. You are now a star among the stars,' the man told him. Harry gasped loudly as the people gathered began to clap. The man unveiled the square of marble tile in the pavement. Sure enough there was a golden star with his name in golden letters above it. Harry could hardly fathom what was going on. His own star? How? Why? He was nobody.

 

As if in a daze he shook hands with the man who had unveiled his star. Some people were taking photos, probably thinking he was some celebrity. Harry tried to act normal but he was too shocked to take in what was happening. When the crowed thinned out, Louis walked over to him.

 

'You like it?' he told him as he wrapped an arm around his waist.

 

'How Lou?' Harry asked him. 'I'm not a celebrity. I'm not a star.' Louis pulled him closer.

 

'You are a star to me. The brightest even and I felt you deserved your own star here, among the stars.'

 

'But how did you manage it? I mean its only famous people that get their star here.' Louis chuckled and kissed his cheek.

 

'Isn't it amazing what money can do? I wanted to do this for you and I did. Now, go stand beside your star so I can take a picture of you.' Harry was so touched and overwhelmed that he felt tears gather in his eyes.

 

'You are extraordinary Lou,' Harry told him in a choked up voice. 'Thank you so much. You give me so much.'

 

'Hey hey no crying yeah. I just want to show you how much you mean tome,' Louis told him as he wiped away his tears with his thumb.

 

How about telling him that you love him? That would be the perfect way to let him know how much he means to you.

 

Harry hugged him tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

 

'I love you,' he whispered. 'I love you so so much Lou.' Louis smiled and rubbed his back.

 

Say it back to him. Say it.

 

'Come on lets take that picture shall we?' Harry pulled back and nodded, wiping his eyes the best he could. He got down on his knees beside his star, smiling and giving Louis a thumbs up. Louis took a couple of photos and he was happy that the photos captured Harry's essence of the moment : his happy smile and red teary eyes. Before they left, the man who unveiled Harry's star came back and gave him a smaller replica of his tile on the pavement, a souvenir to take home with him.

 

Louis drove them home and once there, he set about making lunch as Harry went for a dip in the pool. Louis was loving the fact that he was getting to use the kitchen. He loved making Harry meals, nothing big. After all he was no Gordon Ramsey but he managed and the fact that Harry always complimented him made him happy.

 

He carried the two plates of chicken salad out on the terrace. Harry was sitting on the sunbed scrolling through his phone. He didn't look up when Louis came towards him.

 

'Made you a salad,' he said proudly, placing the two plates on the glass table between the sunbeds. Harry didn't look up. Louis sat next to him. ' Hey is everything alright?' Harry raised his head and met Louis' eyes. The sad look on his face made Louis' heart drop.

 

'What is it Harry?' Louis asked him urgently. Harry gave him his phone. Louis looked to where Harry was reading and he froze. The Sun. Dan Wootan. Pictures of him and Harry. Headlines.

 

Multi billionaire Louis Tomlinson dating male Stripper Harry Styles.

 

Louis skimmed the article that basically said that Harry worked as a stripper at Garlands and that was where they met, a source told The Sun. This source also said that Louis was part owner of the club and that Harry was not only a stripper but a male escort. They also named the University Harry attended.

 

'That motherfucking dickhead!' Louis roared making Harry jump.

 

'I'm so sorry!' Harry blurted out frantically. 'I'm really sorry Louis. I'm sorry.' Louis turned to Harry confused by his words and saw him looking at him terrified.

 

'Harry its okay,' Louis told him trying to sound as reassuring as could be. 'Its not your fault baby. Its not! I'll fix this alright.' Harry's lower lip trembled.

 

'Its...they know about me and its negative press for you,' Harry told him nervously. Louis scooted closer to him and took his hand.

 

'Harry listen to me. This piece of shit has been writing stuff about me long since before you came into my life. I am angry and mad because he exposed that part of your life and I didn't want that for you. I couldn't give two fucks what they think of me. I just want to keep you safe and protected. I have to make a few phone calls. Set this shit right but please baby don't blame yourself. It is not your fault at all. You understand?' Harry nodded but didn't say anything and Louis knew that Harry was going to blame himself for this. It made Louis angrier.

 

Don't get angry in front of him.

 

Louis cupped Harry's cheek, his thumb stroking his cheekbone. 'Please don't worry alright. I'll fix it baby I promise you.' He leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. He grabbed his phone from his trouser pocket and dailed his lawyer. He picked up after a few rings and when he came on he sounded groggy. Louis forgot the time zones but frankly he couldn't give a fuck that it was night time back home.

 

'I need you to file a fucking lawsuit against Dan Wootan and The Sun,' Louis said into the phone right away not bothering with pleasantries. He wasn't in the mood for it. The lawyer said something and Louis huffed.

 

'That prick published an article about Harry in The Sun and I want to sue his ass. He has no proof. Only a fucking source that apparently told him all this about Harry. And how dare he reveal personal information about Harry or that I am part owner of Garlands? I told my PR not to disclose what University Harry attends but this dickhead just printed it out. He has no respect for anyone except to sell cheap shit stories. I want him sued you hear. File it as soon as its dawn over there. You understand?' Louis hung up and rubbed his forehead. Harry chewed his bottom lip nervously.

 

'What did he say?' Harry asked him softly.

 

'I'm going to sue him.' Harry looked down.

 

'But what he said....its true.' Louis tapped Harry's knee.

 

'I know its true and you know its true but he doesn't. He only had some fucking source. I will find out who he talked to and who leaked the information to him. I'm going to call Adam to make sure nobody of the employees talks to the media and to warn them that if they do, I will sue their fucking asses to hell and back.' Harry met Louis' blue eyes.

 

'What if you lose?' he asked him.

 

'Harry one thing you should know about me is that I never fucking lose. Ever. And I will not lose to that trash can. Now stop worrying and eat your salad. It took a lot of creativity for me to make that. I just need to call my PR team so they can blow that article to smithereens.' Louis made more phone calls. He talked to Adam and his PR team. When he was done, he put his phone away.

 

'I'm taking you out tonight. What do you want to do? A club? Another concert? Dinner?' Harry looked at Louis.

 

'I want to stay in tonight. Watch a movie if that's okay with you.'

 

'Anything you want is okay with me Harry I just don't want you being miserable because of that cunt. The media pulls this shit. They lie and invent stuff and when they print the truth and we don't want it out there, well that's why we have lawyers and PR teams. So please baby, we are on holiday. Don't be sad yeah.'

 

'Okay,' Harry told him giving him a forced smile. Louis knew him well enough. He knew this was going to eat him up inside so he began to think up of another surprise for Harry, something that would make him really happy and he had just the perfect idea.

 

Coming soon Chapter 16 for more surprises in Los Angeles.


	16. All About Loving You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter. A big thank you for all the reads and kudos. Much appreciated.  
> All the love  
> M

All About Loving You

 

 

Louis had hardly gotten any sleep. As soon as Harry had fallen asleep, Louis began making phone calls. Lots of phone calls. Some to his lawyer and PR team and some to get Harry's surprise on the way. When it was almost dawn and everything had been sorted, he had crept into bed cuddling with Harry and watching the dark sky outside slowly begin to lighten and turn a pinkish orange color. Louis sighed and for once it was not a heavy sigh. It was a contented sigh. He couldn't believe that he was happy and in love. That the beautiful boy in his arms, sleeping like an angel snoring softly, loved him back. Louis placed a kiss between Harry's shoulder blades and closed his eyes.

 

When Louis woke up he felt disoriented, not knowing what time it was because the room was dim. He reached out to Harry but the bed was empty and cold. He sat up quickly and looked at his phone. 12:30 pm. Shit he had over slept. He got up and padded to the kitchen, noticing that Harry had closed the blinds in their room to avoid sunlight filling the room and waking him up.

 

As he entered the kitchen/living room the smell of food greeted him and his stomach rumbled. Harry was nowhere in sight so Louis made his way to the terrace and sure enough, Harry was there, sitting on a sunbed in the shade of the trees, a cup of tea beside him as he scrolled through his phone.

 

'Good morning,' Louis greeted him, making him jump a little.

 

'Good morning or good afternoon is more appropriate. Did you sleep okay?' Harry asked him, a smile on his face.

 

'Yeah,' Louis said as he stretched and yawned. Harry stood up.

 

'Coffee?'

 

'Please,' Louis replied. Harry walked into the kitchen and poured Louis a cup of coffee. He handed Louis the cup who took it gratefully then sat back down.

 

'I made lunch if you're hungry,' Harry told him. Louis looked at him over the rim of his mug.

 

'Smells good. What did you make?'

 

'Shepard's pie,' Harry told him.

 

'Oh God I haven't had that in ages.' Harry looked at him with furrowed brows.

 

'Are you sure you are even British? Who doesn't eat Shepard's pie? It's like a traditional British dish.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Me apparently but I'm ready to eat,' he told Harry. Harry smiled.

 

'Lovely.' They sat in silence for a bit as each sipped their drinks. Louis observed Harry to see if he looked sad or worried about the article in The Sun. He couldn't see anything on his face.

 

'Are you alright Harry?' Louis asked him finally when he had given up trying to guess and Harry looked at him knowing only too well why Louis was asking.

 

'There have been a lot of comments on Twitter about that article. They...um people wrote things.'

 

'Harry listen to me. Let them talk. Its what people do. Even if you have no faults and you're perfect, they will still make up things to gossip about. Yes, you worked as a stripper and that's the only thing they see and the only thing they know. They do not know why you had to work as a stripper. They don't know your struggles or your dreams or plans for the future. They don't know you personally baby so don't take it personally. But just know that my lawyer has been in touch with that prick and the editors of that shit newspaper and handed them a lawsuit from yours truly. They will go down. I called my PR team and they denied it in a statement they gave. The article that that asshole printed had been nullified and regarded only as gossip without any fundamental truth to it. Besides, when they see your pictures while walking for Marc on Saturday, it will prove what a liar Dan is. I don't want you to worry about it alright. Its taken care of.' Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I was worried you know,' he told him in a quiet voice. 'About my dad seeing it. He was the first person that came into my mind when the article came out.'

 

'Your dad? Louis asked him confused. 'Why tough?' Harry looked down clearly distressed.

 

'I know how much my dad hates me for being gay and he will loathe me now when he sees I'm a gay stripper. He will be disgusted that I'm dating you.' Louis felt his heart go out to Harry. The man had disowned him and here he was still hurting over what his father will think of him. Louis took his hand.

 

'Harry fuck him! You are doing nothing wrong. There is nothing disgusting about us or you being gay. If anyone is disgusting its Him. You don't have to live up to his expectations.' Harry bit his bottom lip.

 

'I know. I just....he's my dad. I miss having my dad. Before I came out as gay he was such a good father to me but then.....' He looked away sadly.

 

'Baby don't give him this much power over you. You are what you are and you don't have to worry about what he thinks of you, what anyone thinks of you for that matter. You couldn't stay closeted just to please him. It would've only killed you a little at a time. Besides, its not like you have to see him ever again so whatever he thinks of you or feels about you its irrelevant.' Harry nodded half heartedly. 

 

'I guess you're right. I just hate it. I hate being hated.' Louis got up and sat next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer.

 

'You are a beautiful, sensitive, caring and a kind being Harry. There are not many people like you out there so I can understand how this hurts you. Your father can shove his opinions about you up his tight homophobic ass. Please don't let him hurt you like this. Don't let him get to you. Don't give him that power over you Harry.' Harry nodded again then hugged Louis tightly.

 

'Thank you. Your words always help me. I'm sorry. I just got emotionally carried away.' Louis kissed his neck.

 

'Its okay baby. We all do sometimes. I just want you to be happy. Now how about you feed your man hmm?' Harry pulled back and looked into his eyes, a smile playing on his lips.

 

'My man. I like the sound of that.'

 

 

x

 

 

For the remainder of the day, Louis took Harry around the city again, Harry taking shit loads of photos with the camera Louis had given him for his birthday. He took beautiful pictures, capturing the heart of the city, its traffic, its pedestrian zones, landmarks, places of interest and some of Louis when he wasn't looking. After a late lunch in a restaurant by the beach, Louis took Harry to an art gallery where there was a photography exhibition going on. Harry was over the moon. The collection of photographs on display were all in black and white and monochrome. Harry went by slowly from one photograph to the other, soaking up details and techniques of the subjects the photographer had captured.

 

Louis let him take all the time he wanted looking at the pictures one by one, dedicating a fair time to each. Louis wasn't particularly into photography or art but he loved to watch Harry as he took in the details from various angles, muttering to himself and wondering what types of cameras and lenses were used to create the effects. After he was done scrutinizing each picture and telling Louis how awesome they were and how he wished that one day he too would have an exhibition like this, Louis pulled him aside and introduced him to the photographer himself and spent another half hour listening to Harry ask him endless questions and the photographer answering them all. Before they left, the photographer gave Harry his card, just in case he needed any advice or a hand setting up his own exhibition in the future.

 

When they came out of the photography exhibition it was early evening. The sun was beginning to set and the air was a little cooler. Harry was still on a high from the exhibition and talked nonstop about how he wanted to become a good photographer and about how he loved to take photos. Louis smiled and listened to him as they strolled down the street hand in hand. Louis stopped in front a cute little Italian restaurant called Citta di Roma.

 

'Fancy a little bit of an Italian dinner?' Louis asked Harry and Harry quickly nodded his head.

 

'Yeah I'm starving,' he told him already walking towards the restaurant's entrance. They were shown to a quiet table with white lace table cloth and a red candle on the table. Italian music played in the background. The wall was covered in old pictures of Italy from Rome, Milan, Venice, Florence and Verona.

 

'This place is beautiful,' Harry said looking around. 'So romantic.'

 

'Not half as beautiful and as romantic as you,' Louis told him and Harry laughed as he felt himself blush.

 

'You're a sap,' Harry told him. Louis scowled at him.

 

'Isn't being a sap better than being an asshole?' Harry smirked at him, his lop sided smirk that popped his dimple.

 

'But I never said you were an asshole did I?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'How can you be cute and charming one moment and a sassy little shit the next?' Harry flashed his dimples.

 

'I learned from the best,' he told him and winked at him. The waitress came and took their order. Louis ordered a bottle of Italian wine and some sparkling water. While they sipped their wine, they looked at the menu.

 

'What are you in the mood for?' Louis asked him.

 

'I think I will go for a pizza Napolitana,' Harry said.

 

'Pizza?' he asked him quirking an eyebrow at him.

 

'Why too cheap for you?' Harry told him playfully.

 

'Can you stop being a little shit?' Louis asked him. 'I'm going for the veal with a mushroom brandy sauce.'

 

'Posh,' Harry remarked.

 

'Commoner,' Louis threw at him. Harry laughed and Louis couldn't be happier. They continued to banter and talk over their dinner. Louis looked at his watch and saw that it was nearing midnight. He had to get Harry home in time for his surprise.

 

When Louis paid the bill, he called his driver to come and pick them up. Thankfully there were no paps around and for that he was grateful. When they got home, Harry went for a shower and Louis made some phone calls to check on the surprise he had for Harry. He was glad that everything was still on schedule. Harry came back out in just sweatpants and yawned loudly.

 

'I think I'll head to bed,' he told Louis. 'I'm knackered.' Louis looked at him. He couldn't go to bed. The surprise would be here soon.

 

'Oh come on the night is still young. How about I make us a few drinks and we sit outside by the pool hmm? Its such a nice night to waste it sleeping,' Louis told him giving him a wink. Harry looked at him a little suspiciously but nodded and walked out onto the terrace. He loved it out here. It was so peaceful and quiet. He sat on a sunbed and watched the night sky full of stars. Louis came back carrying a tray with two glasses and a few bottles of alcohol. He set it down on the table.

 

'I didn't know what you preferred so I brought you a selection,' he told him. Harry went for a bacardi and coke. Louis poured out his drink and handed it to Harry. He poured a whiskey for himself and sat down next to Harry. 'Did you enjoy today?' Louis asked him.

 

'I did. I'm falling in love with this city. Its so.....full of life and dreams waiting to be achieved.' Louis smiled at him.

 

'It's yours for the taking if you want it bad enough. In this city you can become and be whatever you want.' Harry looked at him, his green eyes soft on Louis.

 

'You make all this possible for me. If it wasn't for you......'

 

'Hey,' Louis interrupted him. 'You have potential. I'm not doing anything. Its all you. Just you,' Louis told him.

 

'You are doing a lot for me. You make my dreams reachable.' Louis stroked his cheek.

 

'You do that all by yourself Harry,' Louis told him softly. Harry opened his mouth to speak but Louis' phone began to ring. He put his finger up indicating to Harry to wait. Louis swiped his phone and answered the call, keeping his eyes on Harry. He didn't say anything. He was just listening then he said:

 

'Okay. I will be right down thank you.' He hung up and placed his phone on the table.

 

'Who was that?' Harry asked him curiously.

 

'Security. There seems to be something wrong with the alarm in my garage. I need to go and punch in the code to turn it off. Be right back.' Louis got up, kissed the top of Harry's head and walked to the elevator.

 

'Don't be long,' Harry called out after him. Louis got into the elevator and pressed the ground floor button.

 

Harry poured himself another drink and hoped that Louis wouldn't belong. Even though he was tired and the drinks were making him sleepy and ever so relaxed, he was enjoying this time with Louis, just talking and being with him, close to him.

 

The ding of the elevator brought Harry out of his thoughts. Louis walked out on to the terrace a smile on his face. Just then Harry heard a chorus of voices behind him shouting "SURPRISE". Harry turned around startled and he saw Liam, Niall, Ed and Zayn standing there, smiling happily at him. He nearly fell off the sunbed in his shocked surprise.

 

'Oh my God. W-what are you guys d-doing here? I..I m-mean how are you here?' Harry asked perplexed, his eyes wide and shining. They all looked at Louis with bright happy faces.

 

'He flew us out in his private jet which is so fucking cool,' Niall gushed out. 'A whole plane just for us. Like what the fuck?'

 

'He told us about your show on Saturday, your ever first modelling show and Louis thought it would be nice to have your friends supporting you so here we are,' Liam told him. Harry looked from his friends to Louis, a look of awe on his face.

 

'You brought them out here for me?' he asked him dazed and giddy.

 

'You need your friends Harry and after that shit on The Sun, I figured you needed a little pick me up so I called Niall and told him to get a hold of the others. I wanted them to be here for you and with you. You need them.' Before Louis got to finish his sentence, Harry flung himself at him, wrapping himself around him like a Koala bear and hugged him tightly.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered into his neck. 'Thank you so so much Lou.' Louis smiled and rubbed Harry's back affectionately.

 

'You're welcome baby. I just want you to be happy that's all.' Harry hugged him tighter.

 

'I am. I am so much happy Lou. So much.' Harry pulled back and looked at his friends still standing by the terrace door.

 

'God I'm so happy to see you. I can't believe you are here. Where are they staying Lou?' Harry asked him full of excitement.

 

'I rented them a mansion in The Hills,' Louis replied casually.

 

'You rented us a what?' Zayn exclaimed.

 

'A mansion. You prefer a hotel? Or penthouse down town? I can make arrangements.'

 

'No fuck no!' Ed said. 'A mansion sounds fantastic. This place you got here is lit by the way.' They all sat down and Louis began pouring drinks.

 

'My chauffeur has taken your luggage over there already. You can make use of him the entire time you remain here. I will get you VIP passes for Marc's show on Saturday. You will be my guests. There will be an after party so you will attend that too as VIPs,' Louis explained as he handed them drinks. The boys all gasped, Ed and Niall high fiving each other.

 

'Wow I can't believe we get to attend high society functions,' Liam said taking a sip of his drink.

 

'Also, Niall you will get to visit my company here. The main branch might be in London but the branch here is where manufacturing takes place. All ideas are kick started from here so I will make an appointment for you to meet with my people who create my products and I want you to tell them your ideas. I talked with my board and we have the go ahead. Obviously,' Louis told him, rolling his eyes as if talking with his board had been quite an un-necessary task.

 

'Seriously?' Niall asked happily. 'Like they liked my idea and I get to tell them about it?' Louis sat down next to Harry, crossing one knee over the other.

 

'Yes. If they find that its a good idea worth a good investment then you're on a roll,' Louis told him, taking a sip of his whiskey.

 

'Oh fuck I can't believe this,' Niall said. Ed clapped him on the back. Louis shrugged.

 

'I'm always up for new ideas and what's wrong with expanding one's business? And you Niall came up with a brilliant idea and hopefully when you graduate you will work for me. I know good talent when I see it so remember who helped you on the way up,' Louis told him giving him a wink. Niall laughed loudly.

 

'Oh Mr. T that would be fucking awesome. I want to be you. But younger.'

 

'You're a cheeky little Irish shit aren't you?' Louis told him playfully and they all burst out laughing. Louis sat close to Harry, holding him and Harry felt like he was in heaven having the people he loved with him, around him, all getting along. They drank and chatted well into the night until Harry could hardly keep his eyes open and he was dozing off on Louis' shoulder.

 

'I think we should call it a night.' Louis said. 'My baby is half asleep and he needs his beauty sleep. If I take him to Marc tomorrow with bags under his eyes, he will never let me live it down.' Niall, Liam, Ed and Zayn all got up and thanked Louis then hugged Harry tightly. Louis told them that the chauffeur was waiting downstairs to take them to their mansion and to enjoy it. Harry told them that they will make plans for tomorrow after he woke up while yawning loudly, Louis not hiding his fond as his baby looked like a baby fawn all sleepy and cuddly.

 

When they were gone, Louis and Harry retired to their bedroom. Harry stripped off his sweat pants and got into bed. Louis closed the blinds and Harry did not protest this time. He undressed and got in beside him. Like always, Harry slid into his arms, loving the feel of Louis' body against him.

 

'Thank you for everything Lou,' Harry murmured against his chest, his eyes closed. 'This was such a lovely surprise. So kind of you to fly them out here. They have never been abroad before so this is like a really big thing for them.' Louis caressed Harry's bare back with the slightest touch of his fingers.

 

'I'd do anything to see you happy,' he told him softly. Harry raised his face to Louis, their lips close but not touching.

 

'I love you so much,' Harry whispered in the dark, his breath fanning on Louis' face. It was an intimate moment. They were holding each other, their warm bodies pressed against each other, hands on each other, thighs touching. Louis could feel his heartbeat pick up speed as Harry placed his lips on his, softly, kissing him slowly. Louis kissed him back as gently as he could, his hand making its way to the back of Harry's neck, pulling him even closer. The kiss got more intense the moment Harry parted his lips for Louis and Louis didn't hesitate. He wanted to devour him, crawl up inside him and stay there.

 

The kiss became heated, passionate. Louis pushed his thigh in between Harry's legs, his knee right at Harry's crotch and Louis was surprised to find Harry half hard. Without knowing, he rocked his hips forward a little, finding friction with Harry's dick and he was rewarded with a moan from Harry. Did he want to? Was he ready? Louis didn't know what to do. He didn't want to initiate things and make him uncomfortable. He was scared to touch him in case he wasn't ready. How would he know if he was ready? Would Harry tell him he was? Was he telling him now?

 

Louis didn't want to push him. It wasn't right. They really needed to talk about this but how was he even to put it to him? What could he say? Sorry I raped you but I really really want to fuck you? Harry didn't want to talk about it and he couldn't force him to. Louis pulled back from the kiss, resting his forehead against Harry's who was panting a little hard. They were both aroused and both didn't know what to do or how to take the initial step.

 

'Sleep baby,' Louis told him softly. 'You're worn out. Turn around let me spoon you yeah.' Harry nodded and did as he was told. Louis wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him into his chest, placing kisses on the back of his neck.

 

'Good night sweetheart,' Louis told him.

 

'Good night,' Harry told him, feeling a little disappointed that Louis still didn't want him, that he failed to see that he was trying to get over his fear by giving himself to Louis but Louis didn't want him. Harry wondered if Louis would ever want him intimately again.

 

 

X

 

 

The following few days passed in a frenzy of laughter and sightseeing, drunken nights, parties, clubbing, swimming and sunbathing. Louis was very glad that he had brought Harry's friends out to L.A. Harry was more relaxed, happier and was very open with his affections towards Louis, which Louis basked in.

 

He made it his mission to show Harry and his friends the best time in L.A. He took them to concerts which included another surprise for Harry at the Troubadour where Louis took him to see Stevie Nicks and took him backstage to meet her. He had been so endeared watching Harry nearly pass out when he met Stevie and watch him cry when she sang "Landslide" and "Leather and Lace." Louis knew that Harry was emotional but to see him cry moved by the music and idol he loved had touched Louis in a way he never knew he could ever be touched.

 

Not to mention that having Harry's friends over, Louis got to do things that he hadn't done in like ever, like going to clubs, partying on the beach till the dawn, getting shit faced, letting loose, stepping out of his persona for a while and becoming one of the guys. He felt happy and invigorated and he hated that he had missed out on so much fun in life but he was glad that he was now experiencing it and able to give back to Harry and his friends. These boys were showing him a life he never experienced before. His life so far had been nothing but work and business meetings and business dinners and home to an empty house. Now, Louis felt as if he had friends, that Harry's friends were his friends too. He didn't mind in the least spoiling them and taking them places. He could open doors for them and he wanted to. For the first time in his life, he had friends and he owed it all to Harry.

 

Liam, Ed and Niall were all over him. They doted on him and saw him as some celebrity who brought them into a world they had only ever dreamed about. They had begun to trust him and see a side to him that was very far from the gossip they had read about him. Zayn was getting there but he was a little bit harder to get through to and Louis could understand his hesitation. Zayn worked at his club. He heard things. He knew things, maybe not for sure but the rumors and the whispers circled around the venue, so Louis understood his hesitation and he didn't hold it against him at all. Louis knew that to win Zayn over he had just to show him that he meant well and that he was not going to hurt Harry in any way or form.

 

Louis' subconscious had haunted him, throwing at him why was he so intent on Harry's friends liking him, why was he trying so hard to be liked by them and accepted by them and sometimes Louis wondered about that as well but all he knew was that he was a changed man. He wanted a different life, he wanted the kind of life Harry was giving him. He wanted to try and live like a normal person even though his subconscious had scoffed at him and told him that he was nowhere near normal but Louis wanted it! He desired it. He loved the idea of having friends, real friends. Not work collegues or business partners but friends like Liam, Ed, Niall and perhaps Zayn. His subconscious wasn't backwards in telling him that the reason they were being friends with him was because he was rich and showing them a world they could never dream of entering. His subconscious made it a point to tell him that he was just a doorway into a dream world for them and that they would drop him like a trash bag in an instant. Louis refused to believe that and vowed to himself that he would prove his subconscious that it was wrong, that they were truly his friends.

 

Saturday finally arrived and it was the day of the fashion show, Harry's debut into the modelling world. Louis had woken up early and again made Harry breakfast. They sat outside on the terrace in the shade of the trees, Harry playing with his food which was a little unusual because Harry usually ate his breakfast heartily.

 

'What's the matter Harry?' Louis asked him a little worried. 'Are you alright?' Harry looked at him with big doe eyes.

 

'I'm nervous,' he admitted, spearing a piece of mango with his fork but not eating it. Louis smiled and reached across the table, placing his hand over Harry's and squeezed it gently.

 

'Its normal baby. You are going to be introduced to the fashion world. You are a newbie who's walking for Marc Jacobs. Who wouldn't be nervous? I know I would be.' Harry whined, pouting at Louis, making Louis fond hard.

 

'Not helping Lou.' Louis got up and sat in the chair next to Harry.

 

'Baby you are going to be perfect. You are going to steal the show. All eyes will be on you because you are Marc's new star. Trust me, he wouldn't let you on that runway if he didn't think you had it in you. Marc is a perfectionist so if he's letting you walk, trust me you have what it takes and what he needs. Now, eat your breakfast because I have to take you down there and turn you over to Marc for the day, as much as I hate to but he will prepare you. I trust Marc and I have absolute blind faith in you.' Harry gave him a smile and pecked Louis' lips with a loud smack.

 

'Thank you for believing in me. I will make you proud.'

 

'You already do baby. You already do.'

 

An hour later, Louis was driving them towards Marc's studio. He had stopped to get Harry his usual Kale smoothie which Louis could not for the life of him understand Harry's obsession with the drink. It was vile and green! But Harry wanted it and what Harry wanted, Louis made sure he got. He sipped it quietly in the passenger seat as Louis drove, the radio playing some top of the charts hits.

 

When they got there, Louis parked in the reserve parking and they went up to Marc's studio which looked a little empty since all the clothes had been moved to the venue where the show would be taking place later tonight. As soon as Marc saw them he rushed over to them.

 

'There you are. For a minute I thought you weren't going to bring him,' he scolded Louis. Louis scowled at him.

 

'Why would I not bring him?' he asked him. Marc flapped a hand at him.

 

'Oh I don't know cause you're a prick who likes fucking up things. Its how you are, what you do,' Marc told him as he fussed over Harry, touching his hair and muttering about having it done for him. Louis scoffed.

 

'Gee thanks. Glad to see I'm in your good graces book. Marc, why the fuck are you so nervous anyway?' Louis asked him. He had never seen Marc like this before a show. Marc sighed.

 

'I'm not nervous. I'm very excited for Harry. I'm like jumping out of my skin for him. I have never introduced someone to the fashion world so this is a first for me too. I'm a virgin in this case. Usually when the new ones are introduced to the fashion world its not at a huge show like mine. They start out with small fashion shows by upcoming designers but Harry here, oh darling you are going to steal the show. After tonight, everyone will want you. With your physique and your looks and your charisma I bet the first ones to contact you will be Gucci. They will definitely want you to walk for them. You have the body for their clothes.' Harry blinked rapidly, looking from Marc to Louis.

 

'Gucci?' he asked mystified. 'Gucci will want me?' Marc cupped his face.

 

'Oh sweetheart don't sell yourself short. If only you saw yourself through the eyes of a fashion stylist like me! I feel there will be a tug of war over you after tonight. Not just Gucci. Prada, Versace, Armani...I can see them all wanting you. After tonight you are going to be quite sought after. You have what it takes.' Harry looked from Marc to Louis again.

 

'But I want to be a writer and a photographer,' he told him in an innocent voice. Louis smiled fondly at him.

 

'Baby you can be whatever you want. I got you. Whatever you choose to do in your life, I got you and I will support you. If you don't want the spotlight, you don't have to be in it.' Harry cuddled closer to Louis.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Any time baby.'

 

'I don't mean to disrupt your Hallmark moment but you need to handover Harry to me and leave. We have a lot of work to do,' Marc told Louis.

 

'Okay okay I'm leaving,' Louis told him as he turned to Harry and cupped his face in both his hands. He leaned forward and kissed him softly.

 

'Relax alright. You will be amazing. And don't let this asshole here work you too much or I will have to sue his gay ass for slavery,' Louis told him kissing his lips again and ignoring Marc in the background grunting out swear words at Louis. He pulled away from Harry and turned to Marc. 'Take care of him. See that he eats a healthy lunch. He likes his greens and don't put any un-neccesary pressure on him. I don't want him stressed out.' Marc rolled his eyes.

 

'Anything else your royal highness?' he asked.

 

'Marc I mean it. I really don't give a flying fuck about your show. If Harry is in distress I will pull him out of the show,' Louis threatened. Harry tugged on his hand to get his attention.

 

'I will be fine Lou. Its okay,' he told him softly. Louis looked at him with adoring eyes.

 

'If at anytime you don't feel comfortable doing this just call me and I will come and get you. I know you don't want to let Marc down but I'm pretty sure he has other models on reserve just in case.' Harry smiled at him.

 

'I will be fine. Go,' Harry told him. Marc gave him an annoyed look.

 

'Yeah go and release that pent up energy you have floating inside you. Get a release. Your Chi must be suffocating in there. Your aura is a sickly grey,' he told him with a smirk on his face.

 

'Don't push your fucking luck,' Louis warned him even though his tone was playful. He knew what Marc was suggesting but he hadn't felt the need for release these past few days. Maybe it was because he was so wrapped up in having a good time with Harry and his friends to focus on his need of taking a belt to one of his boys. He kissed Harry softly.

 

'I'll see you tonight baby and remember, I'm just a phone call away.'

 

'Go,' Marc told him. 'We have a lot to do.' Reluctantly, Louis left Harry with Marc, counting down the hours, which were exactly none hours until he saw Harry again. How he was going to make it through the next nine hours without him was a mystery to Louis. He needed distractions. He took out his phone and called Niall.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis rented a limo for the night. It was a special occasion and he wanted to go all out. Liam, Zayn, Ed and Niall, who were all wearing Armani courtesy of Louis rode with him in the limo to the venue. After he had left Harry with Marc that morning, he had called Niall and asked them to come over to the penthouse. He had also called his stylist and had him bring over suits and other formal wear for all of them. They had spent most of the day trying out designer outfits on what to wear that evening and they had all settled on suits by Armani. Louis himself had settled on a black pin striped suit by Gucci. Louis had also ordered food and had it brought over to the penthouse. The lads had spent the day there, eating, drinking champagne, trying out outfits and lounging by the pool till it was time to get ready to go to the show. That way, Louis had been kept distracted from missing Harry too much and wanting to take out his frustrations on one of his boys. He had texted Harry a few times, asking if he was alright but he never got a reply. He figured that Marc had taken his phone away to keep him from being distracted and he felt pissed about it but the lads had made his day full of fun and laughter, so he put it to the back of his mind, making a mental note to tell Marc off later.

 

The limo pulled up at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood, right in front of the glass double doors that led inside the venue.The media was hanging outside ready to take pictures of celebrity guests that arrived at the show. The chauffeur opened their door and Louis stepped out onto the red carpet leading up to the entrance. Immediately his name was being called out and pictures were taken. Louis didn't interact with the media. He waited for Niall, Ed, Liam and Zayn to step out of the limo. They gaped at the scene that greeted them, smiling for pictures and waving at the paps. Louis smiled to himself. It was their night and he wanted them to enjoy it.

 

They walked inside the venue and were immediately offered champagne and other drinks. They lounged about meeting up with other celebrities. Liam, Ed, Zayn and Niall were starstruck with the amount of celebrities in the venue. Zayn was floored when Kendall Jenner came over and introduced herself to him in a flirty manner which earned him a hard nudge in the ribs from Liam. Zayn quickly recovered from his stupor and introduced Liam to Kendall as his boyfriend. She didn't mind at all that Zayn was in a relationship and continued to shamelessly flirt with him until Cara Delevigne arrived and they went off together.

 

Louis was dying to see Harry. Nine hours were a really long time to be away from him and he needed to see him, make sure that he had eaten and that he was calm and in the right state of mind to do this. He made his way to a door that said "Backstage No Entry". A security stopped him.

 

'Sorry Sir no entrance backstage.' Louis looked at him sharply.

 

'Do you know who I am? My boyfriend is making his debut appearance tonight and I need to see him before the show,' Louis told him sternly.

 

'I do apologize Mr. Tomlinson. I have strict order from the designer himself not to let anyone through. Not even you Sir. Especially not you.' Louis ground his teeth together. That mother fucker! He had found a way to keep him away from Harry till the very end. He was going to make him pay for this.

 

'Very well,' Louis told him curtly.

 

'Once again I do apologize Sir but I have orders to follow,' the security told him. Louis nodded and walked off sulking to find Liam, Ed, Zayn and Niall. He found them mingling with people and drinking more champagne. He was glad they were having a good time. He knew well enough that they did not get any of this in their normal lives and he was glad to have been able to make them experience it.

 

Soon it was time to be seated inside the venue. Louis had VIP seating for them all. He wanted to have front row seats to see Harry. He felt very excited and nervous at the same time. As soon as all the guests were seated, the lights were dimmed and the music started up with the Marc Jacobs logo lighting up in the background of the stage. The first male models walked out but Louis wasn't really paying attention. He was looking for Harry and he didn't have to wait long. Harry walked out on to the stage in a pair of very low cut snake print leather pants and a black lace shirt open, revealing his torso and tattoos. He was barefooted like all the others. He was spectacular but what really caught Louis' eyes was the leather collar around Harry's neck! He was the only model wearing it! Louis kept his eyes on Harry, watching him. The way he walked, the way he moved as if he was gliding on the runway. Harry kept his gaze to the front, face serious. He never diverted his gaze to anyone or anything except in front of him. He looked very professional and no one would have guessed that this was his first time modelling. Louis felt so proud of him and proud that he was his.

 

Niall, Ed, Liam and Zayn were very impressed with Harry and every time he came out with a new outfit, they murmured to each other giving him compliments. The media were focused on him. They had been notified that Marc Jacobs would be introducing a new model today so every time Harry walked, they took pictures of him and Louis knew that by tomorrow he would be everywhere, on all social media, fashion blogs and magazines.

 

The show continued and Harry came out wearing seven different outfits which all included different leather pants, open shirts and wild suits with no shirt underneath and he always had the leather collar on. Just him! When the final models came out, Harry was the one that walked out with Marc at the end, hand in hand with Marc, the final introduction of Harry to the world. Everyone stood up and applauded Marc, his models and his clothes. Louis couldn't help but focus on the fact that Marc's fingers were intertwined through Harry's, his eyes zeroing in at the contact. Marc and Harry bowed to the audience as they continued to clap. Louis felt proud of him, very proud of him but he wanted him back now.

 

Once the models and Marc all went inside, the guests gathered for drinks in the lobby, getting ready to order anything they liked on the runway. Louis was offered champagne but he declined as he made his way backstage, preparing himself to threaten any security with lawsuits if they tried to stop him from getting to Harry. He reached the door that led backstage and he was thankful that the security actually opened the door for him to allow him through.

 

Louis walked into the vast backstage area where models were gathered around Marc everyone congratulating each other on a very good show. Louis noticed Harry standing next to Marc and as if he sensed him, Harry raised his head, his eyes meeting Louis' and his face splitting into his beautiful dimpled smile, his whole face lighting up as if he had seen the sun itself. He detached himself from Marc and rushed over to Louis, flinging himself at Louis, making him stumble a few steps back. He wrapped his arms around Louis' neck, Louis arms going around his waist.

 

'Louis,' Harry whispered as if in relief. 'I missed you.' Louis took in a deep breath, his tension from the hours away from Harry seeping away. He exhaled slowly.

 

'I missed you too baby. You were amazing out there,' Louis told him placing a kiss to the side of Harry's neck where the collar was. He couldn't help himself. Harry pressed himself closer into Louis, hiding his face in Louis' neck.

 

'Thank you,' he mumbled against his skin. Louis wanted badly to kiss him but they were in a room full of people. They pulled back and Louis looked him up and down. Harry was wearing black leather pants and a white satin shirt with black swans on it. And the collar! He was barefooted.

 

'I have to go and change,' Harry told him softly. 'We have to go to talk to the press then the after party.' Louis squeezed his hand.

 

'Don't change. Keep that outfit on,' he told him huskily. 'And the collar.' Harry blinked at him.

 

'You like it? The collar?' he asked him. Louis hummed.

 

'I love it,' he whispered. Harry smiled shyly.

 

'I can't stay in these clothes,' he told Louis, trying to distract him from looking at him so intensely. 'I have to return them......'

 

'Marc,' Louis called out, cutting Harry off. When Marc looked up, Louis motioned for him to come over. Marc excused himself and joined Louis and Harry. As soon as he was beside them, he wrapped his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him to him.

 

'So what did you think of my new super model huh?' Louis scowled at him.

 

'My super model and I would thank you very much to keep your fucking hands to yourself. You know you are getting very handsy with Harry and I'm not quite okay with that,' he told him as he removed Marc's arm off Harry.

 

'Oh stop being a little bitch about it,' Marc told him playfully. 'Harry and I are besties now aren't we darling?' Marc asked him giving him a wink. Harry giggled and moved closer to Louis. He knew Louis didn't like this and he didn't want to give him any cause to be upset about.

 

'Yeah whatever,' Louis told him. 'I don't like the shit you pulled either keeping Harry from texting me and keeping me out before the show. What the fuck were you thinking?' Marc chuckled.

 

'Well I didn't want you distracting him. I needed him all to myself, focused solely on me,' Marc told him cheekily knowing that would work Louis up. Louis knew he was joking but he couldn't help feeling jealous. Marc moved closer to Louis and whispered in his ear :'However, I know you like my gift to you.' Louis looked at him furrowing his brow, clearly not understanding what Marc meant. Marc rolled his eyes impatiently.

 

'The collar? That's for you. From me. Opening new doors for you and your baby,' Marc told him giving him a wink and a nudge. Louis gulped. He had to admit that the collar was indeed very hot and it was giving him a lot of ideas. Marc watched him as he saw recognition pass over Louis' face at the possibilities.

 

'You're welcome,' Marc laughed. Louis coughed and cleared his throat.

 

'Listen, can Harry wear this outfit for tonight? I quite like it on him.' Marc cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

'You have to buy it,' he told him with a wicked smile, bumping Harry's hip with his own. 'But the collar is free!'

 

'You're such a cunt you know that?' Louis told him, a smile playing on his lips.

 

'Such a compliment coming for you. So? You want your man in my hot clothes? He got you all hot and bothered under your collar?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Will you stop with this collar shit already? Yes, I want to buy all the outfits he wore. I want a private fashion show when we get home,' Louis said pulling Harry closer to him. Harry looked down and blushed, biting his lower lip seductively.

 

'Don't bite your fucking lip,' Louis whispered in his ear.

 

'You're one lucky bastard,' Marc muttered. 'I'll have them delivered then.'

 

'Thank you,' Louis told him happily.

 

'I will need to take Harry away from you again,' Marc told him. 'We have the press conference in ten minutes.'

 

'You're so pushing your fucking luck you know that?' Louis told him. Marc pulled a face at him, extending his hand for Harry to take. Harry turned to Louis, looking at him dreamily and kissed his lips softly.

 

'Only you,' he said against his lips quietly enough for just him to hear. Louis' heart beat frantically in his chest as he watched Harry take Marc's hand and let him lead him away, still looking over his shoulder, his eyes locked into Louis'.

 

The press conference took exactly fifteen minutes. Louis watched from the wings as the media was introduced to Harry. He was glad that Marc didn't mention him alongside Harry as he didn't want to over shadow him with his name. This was his moment, his stand alone in the spotlight but Louis knew that by tomorrow morning they would know that Harry was the same Harry as in Louis Tomlinson's boyfriend. However, he was glad to see his boy shine and get the recognition he so rightly deserved.

 

After the press conference was done, Louis was informed that Harry would be going to the after party with the designer and the other models as they had to arrive there as a team. It didn't sit too well with Louis but there was nothing he could do about it. He went to look for Liam, Zayn, Niall and Ed and found them in the foyer drinking and chatting to a group of female models including Kendall Jenner and Cara Delevigne. He made a mental note to keep them away from Harry tonight. He didn't want them to give him weed again like they had done when Marc had had the party at his home in London.

 

The boys all followed Louis out to the limo and together they headed for the Avalon Hollywood, a chic club for the rich and famous which was on Vine Street. Louis was dying to have Harry to himself. He hadn't seen him all day with the exception of the few minutes after the show and he just wanted him for himself for a while now thank you very much. He fidgeted in his seat and declined another drink offered to him by Niall. He just wanted to get to Harry.

 

The limo finally stopped in front of the club and they all filed out, quickly escorted into the club which was already full and the models and Marc had already arrived. Louis scanned the area quickly but he couldn't see Harry. Liam, Zayn, Niall and Ed went off to mingle again and Louis was getting impatient. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to find himself looking into Harry's smiling face.

 

'There you are,' Harry breathed in relief. 'I have been waiting for you.' Louis relaxed immediately.

 

'So have I. Can I keep you now? Or does Marc need you again?' Harry smiled.

 

'I don't think he does. Maybe for a few more photos but that's just it. Other than that I'm all yours.' Louis squeezed his waist.

 

'Good. How do you feel?'

 

'Overwhelmed,' Harry admitted.

 

'How did it go with the press?' Louis asked him and Harry sighed.

 

'They were a bit more civilized than the paps but it was okay. I didn't have to say much. Marc did most of the talking which was good because I was very nervous especially not having you beside me. I had to pose for pictures,' Harry groaned hiding his face in Louis' neck and Louis laughed, rubbing his back up and down.

 

'How are you still shy?' Harry shrugged, still hiding his face in Louis' neck, inhaling his cologne.

 

'I just am. I wasn't brought up for this. I'm a common boy from Holmes Chapel,' he said, his voice muffled. Louis hugged him to him.

 

'My beautiful boy. That's one thing about you that attracts people. Your simplicity and innocence. Do you want a drink love?' Louis asked him. Harry raised his head and looked at Louis and Louis wanted to kiss him so badly when he saw his pink cheeks.

 

'Just something non-alcoholic please,' Harry told him. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead and ordered two non-alcoholic cocktails.

 

'Not drinking?' Harry asked him.

 

'Nah, not in the mood for it baby,' Louis told him as he handed him his drink. A few people came over to talk to Harry, congratulating him and shaking his hand and Louis watched him blush and fidget as he stammered thank yous and pushed his hair behind his ear nervously. Louis kept a hand on his lower back to let him know that he was there by his side. When they left, Harry turned to look at him.

 

'I don't think I will ever get used to this,' he told Louis quietly.

 

'Its okay sweetheart. You don't have to. This could be just a one time thing. You don't have to feel pressured or obligated to do it again. You understand?' Harry nodded.

 

'Can you take me home? Please?' he asked him softly. He was clinging to Louis and Louis could see that he was tired.

 

'Yes love of course. Let's just find your friends and Marc to tell them we're leaving and we can go yeah.' Harry nodded as Louis took his hand in his and led the way to find their friends. Niall, Liam and Zayn were almost wasted with the exception of Ed who was still sober. Niall hugged Harry tightly, kissing his face and telling him how awesome he was while Zayn and Liam were busy kissing each other and getting handsy.

 

'Ed,' Harry breathed. 'Are you enjoying yourself?' Ed smiled.

 

'Yeah Harry I am. I've never been to something like this before. I'm so thankful Louis brought us over. Are you alright?'

 

'Yeah but we are heading home. I'm exhausted.' Ed rubbed his shoulders.

 

'I can imagine. Is this the life you could live Haz?' Harry looked down then up at Ed.

 

'Nah. I miss my normal, quiet life. Don't think it will be very quiet now since well Louis and I are public but I'm sure he can make it quiet for me. He can do things,' Harry told him shyly.

 

'He sure can. I'm glad you're happy Harry. You deserve it and he's proved to be a good man.' Harry smiled.

 

'He is. He truly is.' Just then Louis came back.

 

'I told Marc we are leaving but he's too pissed already. Ed, I will send the limo back for you guys after it gets us home alright. The chauffeur will be waiting for you anytime you want to leave.'

 

'Thank you so much for everything,' Ed told him as they shook hands. Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's waist.

 

'Let's go baby,' he told him as he walked him towards the exit, people stopping them to talk to Harry, Harry politely talking back to everyone who stopped him even though he just wanted to get away from the crowds, the noise, the music, everything. He just wanted to get home. Finally they were outside, the cool air making Harry shiver since he was just wearing his sheer white shirt. Louis took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders.

 

'Better?' he asked him. Harry nodded.

 

'Thank you.' The limo pulled up and Louis opened the door, letting Harry slip inside first, then he got in beside him. Immediately Louis moved closer to Harry and wrapped his arm around his shoulder pulling him closer.

 

'Are you warm? Do you want me to tell the driver to turn the heating up?' Harry cuddled into him, burying his face in his neck, not getting enough of Louis' smell.

 

'No I'm fine now. Close to you like this I'm warm,' Harry told him nuzzling his nose against Louis' jaw. 'I missed you so much today.' Louis rubbed his arm up and down gently.

 

'I missed you too. Never letting you go again. I don't give a fuck if Marc wants you again, he's not getting you. That's final.' Harry raised his face up to Louis and smiled lazily.

 

'I don't want to go either and did I ever tell you how hot you are when you're being all possessive?' Harry told him. Louis raised an eyebrow at him, a smile playing on his lips.

 

'Am I now? You like me being possessive hmmm?' Harry shrugged.

 

'I feel,' he paused and looked down. He bit his bottom lip. 'I feel taken care of, safe. I feel like I belong. I never did before.' Louis put his finger under his chin and lifted his face till Harry's eyes met his.

 

'I will always take care of you Harry. You are mine.' His fingers grabbed his chin gently. 'Mine,' he repeated softly but with meaning. Louis leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips which Harry reciprocated. The rest of the drive was silent, with Harry cuddling into Louis, his head resting on Louis' chest. He couldn't get enough of being close to him.

 

When they got home, Harry went straight to the bedroom, Louis following close behind him. Harry sat on the edge of the bed and took off his boots, putting them neatly to the side of the bed. He looked at the night sky outside. It was full of stars and very beautiful. He couldn't get enough of this view. Louis stood in front of him. Harry looked up at him and took his hand in his, raising it to his mouth and kissing his knuckles. Louis shuddered internally. Harry stood up and looked at Louis.

 

'I....' he began but stopped not knowing how to phrase his words. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

 

'What is it love?' Louis asked him, his voice low and soft. Harry brought out much softness in him. Harry licked his lips.

 

'I...I need you...I need you to love me. Please,' Harry said quietly as if afraid to speak out the words. Louis took in a sharp in take of breath because he had not expecting this.

 

'Harry...I...I don't think its a good idea....I don't think you're ready....'

 

'Please,' Harry begged him, his voice a little broken. His green eyes were fixed on Louis. 'I need to feel your love Louis. Please.' Harry was making himself vulnerable to Louis and Louis didn't want to hurt him but Harry was asking him to make love to him and Louis didn't know if Harry was ready...if he himself was ready...if they were ready for it. Harry took his silence as refusal. He looked down and swallowed hard.

 

'I...I know you...you don't want me after...after....but you are not angry now. I am not afraid I swear. I'm so-sorry I ever was....'

 

'Hey hey stop,' Louis told him, cupping his face in his hands and caressing his cheekbones with his thumbs. 'I do want you Harry. I want you so bad. I'm just,' he paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'I'm the one that's scared baby.' Harry looked at him blinking in confusion. Louis moved closer to him, his lips hovering over Harry's. 'I'm scared of scaring you. I'm scared of hurting you. I'm scared of making a mistake, a wrong move and making things worse.' He rested his forehead against Harry's. 'I'm scared I will ruin you further.' Harry kissed his lips softly.

 

'You won't. I'm ready. I promise you,' Harry whispered against his lips. He took Louis' hand and guided it to his semi hard dick. Louis shuddered at the contact. 'I'm ready if you'll have me Lou. Please,' Harry begged him a little desperately. Louis' hand remained motionless on Harry's dick. He felt frozen. Harry held on to Louis' hand, moving it gently over him so that Louis was palming him. Harry sighed and breathed a little heavily against Louis' lips. 'Please,' he moaned. 'I need you. I need you to love me.'

 

This time Louis acted. His hand closed around Harry's dick, feeling him after a long time. He found his lips and plunged his tongue into Harry's mouth his other hand cupping Harry's ass pulling him even closer. Harry pushed his hips forward thrusting his dick into Louis' hand for more contact, more friction. They had stopped kissing just their mouths open against each other panting into each other's mouths, both breathing heavily. Louis pulled away, stumbling a few steps back.

 

'Are you sure you want to do this Harry?' he asked him a little desperately because now he was hard and aroused and frantic at the idea of being inside Harry.

 

'Yes,' Harry whispered quietly. Louis ran a hand through his hair then rubbed his face. He hadn't expected this.

 

'Okay love,' he said quietly walking over to him and wrapping him in a tight hug, holding him close to his chest. 'Alright but I'm giving you a safe word.....'

 

'I don't need it,' Harry was quick to tell him. 'I trust you.' Louis pulled back and looked into his face.

 

'You need it and so do I. And please don't trust me so much. I might make another mistake. I don't want to make another mistake.....'

 

'I trust you Lou,' Harry pressed. 'You were just angry. You are not angry now!' Harry told him not meeting his eyes.

 

Tell him you raped him. Now would be a good time to tell him that you raped him and make him understand it.

 

'Harry I....'

 

'You were angry,' Harry insisted, cutting him off. 'Please Louis. Please. Just please. Please,' he whispered desperately. Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'What if I need you to have the safe word Harry? For me? Can you have a safe word for me? I need to know you're safe,' Louis begged him. He needed to reassure himself that Harry would be safe in his hands.

 

'Alright. For you I will,' Harry told him, making Louis sigh in relief.

 

'Okay. The safe word is stop. If you say stop I will stop immediately. If at any time you don't feel comfortable or I'm doing something that's too much for you, just say stop and I swear to you I will stop Harry.'

 

'Okay,' Harry said quietly. Louis cupped his face.

 

'Harry I need you to understand and I need you to use the word. Stop me at any time. Any time. Do you understand?' Louis asked him frantically. He needed to know for sure that Harry understood that he had a choice, that he had control of the situation.

 

'I understand you Lou, I do,' Harry told him as he began to unbutton Louis' shirt. He pulled his shirt out of his trousers and pushed it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Louis took in a deep shuddering breath when he felt Harry's hands softly moving over his chest and shoulders. Harry's green eyes where on him, lustful but soft, a little wary. Harry moved closer, his body flush against Louis' making sure Louis felt his hard on and waited. Waited for Louis to touch him.

 

Louis felt nervous. This was worse than taking Harry's virginity. He had to do this right. He leaned in and captured Harry's lips in a slow passionate kiss while undoing the buttons of his shirt. He wasn't going to rush. He was going to take it as slowly as possible. He removed the shirt off Harry's shoulders. He cupped Harry's neck pulling him in deeper, Harry parting his lips for Louis and Louis didn't hesitate. His tongue found its way into Harry's warm mouth. Harry rocked his hips forward slowly finding Louis' very hard dick. Louis breathed into his mouth at the contact and found it highly arousing running his finger over the collar around Harry's neck as he kissed him. He loved the collar. He knew he shouldn't love it so much or think of things to do while Harry wore that collar especially not now but he couldn't help it. Marc was a devil.

 

He pulled back and his fingers found their way to Harry's leather pants. He palmed his dick over the leather pants loving the feel of Harry's hard bulge and the leather of the pants.

 

'God,' Louis groaned. 'I missed you. I missed this, us. Baby......' Harry wrapped his arms around his neck and rolled his hips into Louis' hand, moaning softly in Louis' ear.

 

'Please Lou,' Harry whispered. Louis undid the button of his pants and slowly slid the pants down Harry's long legs, Harry kicking the pants off his feet, leaving Harry in just his boxers and the collar. Harry fumbled with the button on Louis' pants, his fingers shaking a little as he tried to undo it. Louis smiled to himself remembering the first time he had met Harry at Garlands and terrorized the poorboy into giving him a blow job. That felt like years ago to Louis but in reality it was only a few months ago.

 

Finally Harry undid the button and pulled down the zip on Louis' trousers, easing them off Louis' firm perky bum. They slid down his legs and pooled around his ankles leaving Louis in just his tight black boxers, doing nothing to hide Louis' boner. Louis stepped out of his trousers, leaving them on the floor.

 

'Get on the bed sweetheart,' Louis told Harry softly. Harry scrambled clumsily on the bed, lying back on the pillows, his body rigid. Louis climbed on top of him. Harry kept his legs tightly closed.

 

He's afraid!

 

Louis settled on top of him, supporting his weight on his elbows. Harry did not look into his eyes. He could feel Harry tremble beneath him and that concerned Louis a lot. Harry's body language was suggesting fear. The way he was so rigid, his legs tightly shut, the way his body was vibrating and the way he was avoiding looking into Louis' eyes were all signs that Harry was scared.

 

'You're scared,' Louis told him sweetly, removing his hair away from his face as he placed a kiss on his cheek. Harry looked at Louis' chin, avoiding his eyes at all cost.

 

'N-no I...I'm n-not s-scared r-really I- I'm not. I- I'm f-fine.I...I c-can d-do this,' he stammered out.

 

He's terrified.

 

Louis kissed his jaw and beneath his ear, sucking softly at the tender skin there. He felt Harry shiver.

 

'I won't hurt you,' Louis told him, his voice deep and husky against his skin. 'You have the power here love. Full control. You control me baby. You can stop me any time.' Louis continued to suck at the skin beneath his ear. Harry gulped.

 

'N-no I...I w-want this. I...I'm n-not scared...W-we...I...I m-mean I c-can do this. W-we...Y-you and I...t-together....y-yes....m-make new m-memories....f-fresh ones...b-better ones....h-happy ones...n-not that the o-others w-where s-sad....n-no they w-were good. I...I l-love our m-memories...a-all of t-them....I...I j-just w-want...maybe.....'

 

'Baby breathe,' Louis stopped him because he could hear him rambling and struggling. 'Take a nice deep breath for me sweetheart. That's it. Nice and deep. Good boy,' Louis praised him as he peppered his face with kisses. Harry took in a few deep breaths. He knew he was panicking and he was afraid he was going to spoil everything and the harder he tried, the more he panicked.

 

'That's it sweetheart, breathe slowly,' Louis coaxed him as he continued to suck and lick his skin. Harry's body was not relaxed. He was as rigid as a plank! Louis lifted his head and looked at Harry who had his eyes screwed up tightly shut, his hands by his sides clenched into fists, not touching Louis at all. Louis sighed. He couldn't make love to him when he was like this.

 

'Harry, open your eyes and look at me,' Louis told him trying to avoid sounding stern or anything other than soft. Harry was still breathing hard dealing with his mild panic attack. 'Baby look at me. Please,' Louis cooed. Harry slowly opened his eyes and focused on Louis. Louis smiled at him.

 

'There you are. Hi baby,' he told him as he placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Harry was panting, a light sheen of sweat forming on his forehead. 'Do you want me to stop?' Louis asked him. Harry shook his head.

 

'N-n-no.' Louis fondly played with his hair, smoothing it away from his face.

 

'I know that you are scared love. You might not think that you are but your body is speaking to me in volumes.' Louis paused and kept his eyes on Harry's. 'What I did to you....'

 

'You didn't do anything!' Harry quickly cut him off his voice urgent. 'Please. Y-you didn't. P-please d-don't stop,' he told him in a softer tone.

 

'What I did to you is making you scared of me,' Louis continued as if Harry hadn't interrupted him. 'But I won't ever hurt you again Harry. We can do this another time love. When you are more...comfortable.'

 

'No please Louis please,' Harry begged him urgently. 'I n-need this. P-please. H-help me. I...I don't want to be a-afraid,' he said in a small choked up voice. 'Please m-make it better. Please.' Harry touched his face with shaky, clammy hands. Louis took his hand and kissed his palm. Louis knew what Harry wanted. Harry wanted him to help him get rid of those awful memories by making new ones, better ones. He wanted Louis to help him get through this because he was the only one that could.

 

'Do you promise to stop me at any time you can't handle it or if you get too scared?' Louis asked him.

 

'I-I p-promise. I- I w-will. H-honest,' Harry told him but he was sounding more as if he was trying to convince himself rather than Louis. Louis decided to test the waters. He pushed his knee between Harry's thighs, pushing them apart. Harry didn't budge. They remained tightly shut and Louis could see that this was going to be a challenge. Louis knew he had a tough job on his hands that Harry was entrusting him with. He couldn't back out of this. It was his responsibility to make it better for him. He had raped the boy beneath him. He had scarred him. He was traumatized because of him yet here he was trying to give himself to the man that had hurt him in the most horrible way ever. Louis knew he had to make it better for him. He owed him that much. This was the time to make up a little for what he had done and replace the dark memory that Harry had with a new one. A good one. A better one.

 

'Its okay baby,' Louis reassured him, 'I won't hurt you. Trust me,' he whispered to Harry as he tried again to push his knee in between Harry's thighs. Harry resisted at first but Louis continued to whisper sweet nothings to him and he felt Harry part his thighs slowly for him until Louis was nestled in between his spread legs, their crotches rubbing against each other though neither of them moved. Harry was still tense and trembling.

 

'You are so beautiful,' Louis told him as he began kissing down his neck, sucking at the skin gently. Louis rolled his hips a fraction, trying, testing, causing friction on both of their dicks.

 

'Ahh,' Harry moaned.

 

'Alright love?' Louis asked him from the crook of Harry's neck but Harry only made a garbled muffled sound.

 

'Words baby,' Louis told him. 'Use your words. I need to know you are okay.'

 

'Y-yes,' Harry said shakily. Louis just had to make him relax or this was going to go nowhere and he would fuck it up for him again and he couldn't give him another bad experience. He knew only too well that Harry was consciously trusting him with his body but his subconscious wasn't and his body was speaking loudly to him. His body didn't trust Louis and if Louis made one wrong move, Harry would shut down.

 

Louis kissed his collarbones, letting his tongue trail over Harry's hot skin, his swallow tattoos, occasionally rolling his hips ever so gently over Harry's hard dick earning Louis the sweetest of Harry's moans that were leaving his parted lips. Louis had to take care of him. He was afraid too. He was expecting Harry to stop him at any moment, for Harry to push him off of him and scream STOP STOP hysterically and scramble from underneath him, away from him curling into a ball in the corner crying his heart out. If that happened, Louis knew he would die from heartbreak but Harry was there beneath him trying to give himself and desiring Louis.

 

'My brave boy,' Louis whispered to him as he took one of his nipples between his lips and sucked. Harry arched his back off the bed and threw his head back on the pillow, moaning loudly. Louis knew that his nipples were sensitive. He had to distract him so that he could relax. Louis sucked on his nipple making the little nub puffy and red. He ran his tongue over it, lapping at it. With his free hand he took the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger and while he sucked and licked one, he rolled the other one between his fingers, occasionally pinching it earning him more groans from Harry. And Harry was relaxing. He could feel Harry move beneath him, squirming and occasionally thrusting up his hips which Louis met by rolling his own down on him. It was getting hot and heated and he soon had Harry a panting mess.

 

Louis continued with his assault on both of Harry's now swollen nipples; sucking, lapping, pinching, biting, rolling, kissing until Harry's breathing had changed. He was now less hyperventilating and more panting, a little breathlessly even. Louis was happy to see that Harry was letting his guard down a little and not being so afraid of him. Louis was determined to fight Harry's demon for him, a demon he had brought to him in the first place.

 

Louis began kissing down his chest, mouthing at Harry's hot skin and he loved feeling Harry's fingers in his hair even though the touches were cautious but at least it was an improvement. Harry was touching him! Louis was hard. So very hard! He hadn't touched Harry in weeks, long agonizing weeks. He hadn't had any sexual contact at all, not counting his right hand, now all this was happening and it was overwhelming to him too. It was like one of his wildest fantasies was coming true but he couldn't be selfish and lose himself too much in Harry. He had a responsibility here and he had to make sure that Harry was safe and okay and relaxed and doing well and most of all taken care of.

 

Louis traced the butterfly tattoo on Harry's stomach with his tongue, taking his time to make Harry feel everything; feel every touch, every kiss, every lick. Harry was squirming and pushing his hips up, mumbling incoherent words with the exception of a breathy "Louis"and "please" which he repeated a lot. Louis continued to trace his fern tattoos with his tongue, kissing up his happy trail to dip his tongue and swirl it in his navel. Harry hissed loudly and pushed his hips up. Louis looked up at him, not stopping his tongue dipping in his navel again and again. He wanted to make sure Harry was alright but Harry had his eyes closed, his head thrown back exposing his neck and strained neck veins popping out from beneath his pale skin as he fisted the sheets in his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. Louis smiled and moved to nip at his hips, small bites which he licked quickly.

 

Louis decided to go a little further, testing Harry. He began mouthing at Harry's clothed dick making Harry squeak in surprise at the touch of Louis' mouth on his hard, leaking dick. Louis looked up and found Harry looking down at him with wide eyes.

 

'Is this alright? Too much? Do you want me to stop?' Louis asked him right away. Harry opened his mouth but nothing came out. He swallowed and cleared his throat. He looked wrecked already.

 

'N-no d-don't stop please,' he said in a small voice. Louis nodded.

 

'Remember the safe word. You can stop me anytime. You have control Harry,' Louis reminded him. Harry nodded and rested his head back on his pillow not letting go of the sheets as he braced himself to feel Louis' mouth on him again. Louis dipped his head and began to teasingly run his lips and tongue over Harry's clothed dick. Louis could tell how wet he was. He was leaking so much pre cum and if he continued like this, Harry would probably spill in his pants but Louis didn't want that. He wanted to try something new. New things for new memories right? Louis played with the waistband of Harry's boxers and he felt him tense up.

 

'Can I get these off baby?' Louis asked him sweetly. He watched the struggle on Harry's face, the battle within. He took in a deep breath and nodded.

 

'Words baby. Let me hear you. I want to be sure,' Louis told him.

 

'Y-yes,' Harry told him his voice shaking. Louis dipped his fingers into the waist band and dragged the boxers down slowly.

 

'Bum up baby,' Louis instructed him and Harry lifted his hips off the bed allowing Louis to drag them down past his bum and down his legs, past his ankles and off. He closed his eyes tightly shut at the feeling of being without underwear. The last time he was this exposed.......

 

No don't go there. This is different. He is soft and kind and he won't hurt you. Don't be an idiot. No need for fear. He's taking care of you. After all, you wanted this. You asked for it. You get what you ask for.

 

Harry took in a few deep breaths composing himself. Louis watched him like a hawk for any sign of discomfort, any sign that Harry was hurting or struggling too much with this. He was beautiful, his body pale in the moonlight streaming in from the glass walls, his dick hard and erect waiting to be handled.

 

'Are you alright darling?' Louis asked him.

 

'G-give me a-a second,' Harry told him. Louis moved up his body and half lay on him, feeling Harry's dick against his stomach, throbbing and leaking. It was torture, pain and pleasure and pure torture. Louis kissed him softly, just lips no tongue, caressing his face.

 

'I got you my angel,' Louis told him as he kissed his face, wherever his lips could reach. Harry looked at him, his eyes lidded and gave him a small smile.

 

'I...I'm r-ready,' he whispered against his lips. Louis gave him another peck on the lips and went down between his legs again. He ran his beard all over the inside of Harry's thighs where the skin was creamy white and sensitive, the beard harsh and prickly against him. He heard Harry moan quietly at the sensation. Louis kissed his inner thighs, close to his groin careful to never touch his dick. He then began to suck harshly at the skin inside his thighs wanting to mark Harry with love bites. Harry moaned louder, squirming on the bed above Louis as Louis continued to suck hard until the insides of Harry's thighs were all splotched with red marks. Louis kissed each one of them then looked up at Harry from between his legs.

 

'Baby I want to try something. Can I?' Louis asked him. Harry raised his head a little and met his eyes.

 

'Yes,' he told him. Louis caressed his thigh.

 

'Remember you can stop me anytime. Just say the word alright baby?' Louis asked him making sure. Harry whispered another affirmative before laying his head back down on the pillow.

 

'Plant your feet on the bed wide apart honey,' Louis told him softly. Harry planted his feet with difficulty. They were shaking. His body felt tired. 'Wider,' Louis instructed him and Harry obeyed. He trusted Louis. 'Good boy,' Louis praised him. 'Now I want you to let your knees fall to your sides till they touch the bed.' Harry raised his head looking a little alarmed. He was going to be quite exposed like that. He took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, lowered his head back and let his knees fall to his sides. Louis nearly cried, he wanted to cry, having Harry like this. He moved in closer between his legs and licked a flat stripe up Harry's crack. Harry nearly screamed at the sensation.

 

'My mouth is going to be really busy for a while Harry so please remember that if you want me to stop say the safe word,' Louis told him, getting a mumbled "yes yes okay" from Harry. Louis blew hot breath on Harry's exposed puckered hole making the boy cry out. Oh this was going to be good. Louis had never done this before, rimming someone so Harry was in for a treat. He commenced to eat him out, dipping his tongue into Harry's tightly closed hole. Louis rubbed his thighs gently to help him relax as he pushed his tongue inside Harry, the boy whimpering and crying out, his body trembling not from fear but from the sheer pleasure that Louis was making him feel. Harry wanted new memories and Louis was giving them to him.

 

He slowly tongue fucked Harry, the boy pushing his hips down to get more from Louis. Louis used his thumbs to spread him further apart so he could get more access and damn Harry tasted fine. He was soft and velvety and warm and ever so wet and Louis hummed against his hole sending vibrations throughout Harry's body. Harry was feeling frantic. All these new sensations that were gentle yet very forceful enough to start building up his orgasm. He hadn't had an orgasm since that horrible night and now it was building quick and fast and he knew he wouldn't last. With the way Louis was pushing his wet tongue inside of him, humming and sucking at his hole simultaneously, Harry knew he wasn't going to last. He couldn't help it and he couldn't stop it.

 

As Louis dug his tongue deeper into Harry, Harry's legs began to shake, that building of pressure at the back of his spine and down low in his abdomen, tugging and pulling, white hot fire spreading inside his body. He closed his eyes tightly shut, his heart hammering in his ears, he tried to hold it back but he couldn't and with a scream, his back arching off the mattress, Harry came hard and fast, thick ropes of cum shooting all over his tummy and chest as Louis continued to tongue fuck him through it. His body shook violently and for a moment he got lost somewhere, where his mind just gave in to the pleasure, all his muscles burning yet relaxing. He felt as if he was suspended in air, lost to the world.

 

He felt lips on his face and heard whispers drawing him back, pulling him in. He slowly opened his eyes and found a pair of blue eyes smiling down at him.

 

'Hi,' Louis whispered, gently stroking his face. 'Are you alright? You came pretty hard there.' Harry wanted to speak but his throat was too dry. He coughed. 'Here,' Louis told him as he handed him a glass of ice cold water. Harry raised himself up on his elbow, all his limbs and joints feeling as if they were made of rubber and he gulped the whole glass down. He handed the empty glass back to Louis and lay back down on the pillow.

 

'I'm sorry,' he said softly. Louis stroked his hair.

 

'For what love?' Harry looked away from Louis.

 

'I-I didn't m-mean to come. It t-took me over. I- I couldn't help it. I'm so sorry,' Harry said. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Its okay love don't worry about it. You had it coming baby. You deserved that orgasm,' Louis smiled down at him. Louis reached over the bed side table and pulled out a handful of tissues and wiped down Harry's chest, cleaning him. He threw the tissues on the floor next to the bed. Harry turned on his side to face Louis.

 

'I'm kinda still.....' he looked down at his crotch, Louis following with his eyes to see what Harry meant and he saw that what Harry meant to say was that he was still half hard. Louis chuckled.

 

'What do you need love? Tell me. I'll do anything for you.' Harry's eyes moved from Louis eyes down to his lips then back up to his eyes. He moved forward and kissed Louis a little roughly, plunging his tongue into Louis' mouth taking him completely by surprise which was a lot to say. The force Harry was kissing Louis with made Louis like it. Nobody had ever taken control with Louis ever and having Harry suddenly become dominant aroused in Louis a deeper need. Harry pulled back but kept his lips on Louis'.

 

'I need you...inside me. Please,' he whispered. Louis flipped them over and was on top of Harry. This time Harry spread his legs, accommodating Louis.

 

'I'm gonna prep you baby,' Louis told him breathlessly as Harry resumed kissing him passionately. Louis blindly reached over to the beside table where the lube was. He opened it awkwardly as Harry was still kissing him, clinging to him like a koala bear. A shit load of lube fell on Louis' fingers but he thought what the hell...the more the better. He reached down in between their bodies to Harry's spread legs and pressed his index finger to his tightly closed hole. Harry jumped when he felt the cold lube against his hole. Louis tired to push his finger in but the muscle was too tight.

 

'Relax for me love,' he mumbled against Harry's lips as the younger boy continued to kiss him as if his life depended on it. Louis pushed in a little more and his finger finally breached the rim.

 

'Ahhhh,' Harry whined in Louis' mouth.

 

'You good?' Louis asked him just to make sure.

 

'Yeah yeah please,' Harry moaned. Louis pushed his finger in to the knuckle, letting it rest for a minute giving Harry time to adjust to the intrusion then he began finger fucking him slowly, pulling his finger out and pushing it back in. After a while Louis added in another digit making Harry hiss and whine and groan for more. Louis continued to open him up. It was getting messy and frustrating because both of them were hard and wanting but Louis wanted to do it right. He wanted Harry to feel right.

 

Harry was holding Louis close, both breathing heavily, their bodies covered in sweat. 'I'm ready,' Harry panted into Louis ear. 'I'm ready please...please.'

 

'Okay baby okay,' Louis told him equally breathless. He pulled his fingers out of Harry's ass and reached for the lube again. He was so hard he knew that he wouldn't last at all. He poured lube on his dick generously not wanting to hurt Harry and spread it around coating himself. He hissed because his dick actually hurt to touch. He had been hard for so long now it was a miracle he didn't come by his own hand as he lubed himself up! He wiped his hand on the sheet and lined up with Harry's puffy hole.

 

'Ready?' Louis asked him. Harry nodded, his hair flying everywhere. Harry seemed to be holding his breath waiting for Louis. Louis leaned down and kissed him softly. 'Breathe and relax alright.' He slowly pushed in and saw Harry scrunch up his face, felt his legs tighten around his waist and his blunt fingernails dig into his back. Louis knew it would hurt a little, that the stretch would burn. He stopped to give him some time. When he saw him take in a deep breath, Louis pushed in a little more.

 

'Ahh,' Harry groaned panting.

 

'Am I hurting you a lot?' Louis asked him kissing his face as if he could make it better by giving him kitten kisses.

 

'It just....ahhh...it just burns. S'fine though really,' Harry told him. Louis opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Harry said: 'No I don't want you to stop. Yes I remember the safe word now please please keep going.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Sassy,' he said as he continued to push himself inside Harry. Once he was fully inside Harry, he watched Harry's face. He could tell that he was in pain yet he took him like a champion.

 

'Move,' Harry said hoarsely. Louis gulped. He pulled out ever so slowly and pushed back in, the motion sending shivers throughout his whole body especially when Harry moaned loudly and tightened himself around Louis. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck and pulled him down on him wanting him as close as possible. He dug his heels into Louis' bum making him move again. Louis felt overwhelmed. His heart felt too big and his emotions where all over the place. This was something big, bigger than taking Harry's virginity. This was Harry taking him back, Harry allowing him to be one with him again. This was restoring some of what he had taken from Harry. His breathing rattled in his chest as he pulled out again and drove himself back into Harry, savoring Harry's cries and whimpers and the feeling of his body wrapped so tightly around Louis. Louis stopped moving altogether. He remained inside Harry, his dick throbbing painfully as Harry clenched around him. Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis confused.

 

'What's the matter?' he asked him, his voice low and deep. Louis swallowed hard as he looked into his beautiful green eyes, his flushed face and red swollen lips. His heart was ramming against his chest and he knew that this was it...this was the time.

 

'I...I...' Louis gulped again. Harry ran his hand down Louis' face tenderly.

 

'What is it Lou?' Louis closed his eyes momentarily as if collecting himself.

 

'I love you,' he breathed out and he felt a relief so great inside his chest, like a heavy weight had just been lifted off his chest. Harry blinked at him.

 

'What?' he asked again unable to believe what he had just heard, if he even heard right. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

 

'I love you,' Louis repeated again. The dam inside him was breaking and he was going to let it. There was no holding it now. 'I have loved you since the moment my eyes first saw you Harry. I'm in love with you so much.' Harry's lower lip trembled and his eyes welled up.

 

'You do? You are?' he squeaked out, his voice thick with emotions. Louis smiled down at him.

 

'I honestly do. I have never loved anyone in my entire life Harry and you came along and changed me so much. I have been afraid and scared and I'm so sorry I haven't told you before but I do love you so so much. Awfully much that it scares me down to the core.' And just like that, Harry began to cry softly.

 

'I have dreamed of this so many times, that you would say it to me rather than show me with material things,' he cried softly, the tears streaming down his face. 'I love you so so much Louis.' Louis kissed him, getting Harry's tears on his own face.

 

'I love you. I love you. I love you,' Louis said pressing kisses all over his face. Harry hugged him tightly. He pressed his hips down.

 

'Move please,' Harry begged him. They remained in a tight embrace as Louis began to move in and out of him, whispering I love you to Harry over and over again as if he was now free to say those words. Louis felt his orgasm building up and knew he wasn't going to last anymore.

 

'I'm close baby so so close,' he whispered into Harry's neck. Harry held him tighter as Louis assaulted his prostate, pounding into it relentlessly. Harry was feeling another orgasm building in him but as he felt Louis' body begin to shake with the beginning of his orgasm, he held him in a loving embrace as it took him over and Louis spilled inside Harry. Harry came right after, coming in between their chests. Both of them kept holding each other as they rode out their orgasms.They breathed hard and fast, kissing each other equally fast and hard, urgent and needy.

 

When they calmed down a little, Louis pulled out gently out of Harry, watching him wince from being over sensitive.

 

'I'm sorry baby,' Louis told him. He lay down beside him looking up at the ceiling, feeling all sorts of warm and fuzzyness inside his chest. He looked at Harry who was also on his back, his chest rising and falling a little rapidly. They both felt spent and wonderful. Louis took Harry's hand, lacing his fingers through his.

 

'I truly love you,' he said in the darkness.

 

'And I you,' Harry replied quietly. Louis smiled to himself amazed at the new wonderful feeling of freedom he felt now that he had managed to verbally convey his feelings to Harry through words. He felt better. He reached for tissues again and wiped both of them down, too tired to go and have a shower. Who cared if they smelled of cum and sex? It was heaven. He threw the tissues on the floor again, reminding himself to clear up in the morning and turned on his side facing Harry.

 

'Come on little spoon. Let me cuddle you to sleep,' Louis told him. Harry smiled and turned, pressing his back into Louis' chest. Louis undid the buckle of Harry's collar and pulled it off, throwing it on the floor. Louis wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

 

'You are exceptional,' Louis whispered into his neck. 'So brave. So strong. You teach me how to be strong and brave.' Harry chuckled his eyes closed.

 

'Pillow talk? From Louis Tomlinson? I must be special.' Louis laughed and kissed the back of his neck.

 

'You are special. Stop being a dick.' Harry giggled and Louis hugged him tighter. There was a little silence. Then Harry broke it.

 

'You are strong and brave. You have so much control and self confidence. People love you and look up to you and hear you when you talk. I envy that,' Harry told him quietly. Louis sighed, his breath tickling the back of Harry's neck.

 

'Not all that shimmers is gold baby. You can never know from the exterior of a person, the way they present themselves to the world, what battles and demons they are fighting inside. Sometimes what we see on the outside is the shimmer that blinds people, distracting them from looking deeper behind the facade to scoop out the truth.' Harry laced his fingers through Louis' and kissed his knuckles.

 

'I'll be here and ready to help you fight your battles and demons when you are ready to let me Lou. You don't blind me. I see you. Just know that I'm here for when you are ready.' Louis felt a lump close around his throat at Harry's words. He placed a kiss on his shoulder.

 

'My champion. I love you. Sleep and rest sweetheart.'

 

'Mhm,' Harry moaned quietly and from his breathing, Louis knew that he was already half gone. He smiled to himself, buried his face in between Harry's shoulder blades and fell asleep to the thought and the hope that maybe, just maybe he had found somebody who could save him.

 

Are you ready to be saved though?

 

I hope you liked this chapter....lots of love and fluff. So what do you think of Louis now? Has he grown? Has he changed? Is he opening up? What do you think he's hiding in his past?

Next chapter coming really soon.


	17. If I Didn't Have You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you guys. Another thank you to you all who take time to read my fic and leave me comments. Its very much appreciated. Cheers for the kudos.  
> All the love   
> M

If I Didn't Have You.

 

 

I don't know what I was thinking  
'TilI was thinking of you  
I don't remember a thing before  
I opened my eyes and you came into view  
I don't know what I was doing  
When there was nothing to do  
Must've been waiting for someone, baby  
Now I can see, I was waiting for you

 

I was alone in the silence  
'TilI was hearing your voice  
I couldn't see my way clear until  
You parted the clouds and you gave me a choice  
I couldn't pick up the pieces  
'TilI was falling apart  
I didn't know I was bleeding  
'Til your love fixed this hole, baby, here in my heart

 

 

The sun shone in through the windows as Louis and Harry lay asleep naked, Louis spooning Harry tightly to him. Well, Louis was asleep. Harry was awake and horny. He shifted a little in Louis' arms hoping the older man would wake up and give him some attention. Louis slept on.

 

Harry kept his eyes closed feeling blissed out and relaxed as he pushed his ass back on Louis, circling his hips slowly on Louis' dick. Louis may still be asleep but his dick surely wasn't! It was very much awake! Harry pushed some more and gave a soft whine, of frustration and of want.

 

'Hmmm,' Louis groaned sleepily in his ear and Harry grinned to himself and pushed his ass back. 'Good morning baby,' Louis said groggily, not moving or even opening his eyes. He kept his face buried in the back of Harry's neck.

 

'Louuuuuuu,' Harry whined frustrated. Louis smiled sleepily.

 

'You want more? It's only been a few hours baby,' he told him, his voice sleepy. Harry made a move to turn in his arms and face him but Louis stopped him. 'Stay put. I love spooning you.'

 

But I....' Harry whined. Louis smiled again. It was beautiful waking up to a horny, gorgeous, whiney, needy boyfriend who just wanted your love, your attention and your dick up his ass. And who was Louis to deny him that?

 

'I know what you need. Stay like that. Knees to chest,' Louis ordered even though he was still half asleep. Harry quickly and obediently raised his knees to his chest, folding himself in half. Louis blindly reached for the lube and he squirted some on his dick, hissing at the coldness of it. He spread it around lazily. He kissed Harry's shoulders and wrapped his arms around his waist spooning him again and getting comfortable. Ever so gently he eased himself inside Harry, both of them moaning at the pleasure. Louis was tired and still sleepy. He didn't have much energy to fuck Harry hard and fast so he simply held him and moved languidly inside him. He didn't pullout, just kept himself inside Harry, moving within him.

 

'Hmmm this feels amazing,' Louis whispered against Harry's neck.

 

'Yeah,' Harry moaned as he relaxed further and let Louis thrust in shallowly but deep, slow but effective. He was hitting his prostate dead on, jabbing at the sweet bundle of nerves repeatedly. Harry knew Louis was tired so he decided to help him a little. With every thrust Louis thrust into him, Harry clenched his inner walls tightly around him, gripping Louis in a tight like a vice.

 

'Oh God baby,' Louis moaned. Harry was clenching so tightly, Louis could hardly move inside him. When Harry unclenched, Louis thrust weakly until Harry gripped him again. The way Harry was holding him with his inner muscles, he was pulling Louis' orgasm from him, slow and gently. 

 

'I'm almost there baby,' Louis groaned and with the next time that Harry clenched tightly around him, Louis spilled inside Harry, his body convulsing and shaking with the sheer bliss of the orgasm. Harry sighed as he felt Louis fill him up, loving the warm feeling inside of him. As Louis came down from his high, Harry basked in the feeling of just feeling full of Louis. He could still feel Louis inside of him and instinctively, Harry pushed his ass back again on Louis' softening dick. Louis moaned but smiled.

 

'Can't get enough of me huh?' he asked him as Harry pushed back again, moaning deep in his throat.

 

'Lou...I-I haven't...I n-need more Lou. Please it hurts,' Harry whined. Louis opened his eyes suddenly.

 

'Oh. You didn't come baby? S'okay honey I'll take care of you.' Louis gently pulled out of Harry. 'Legs down baby,' Louis told him and immediately Harry straightened his legs which had begun to cramp. Louis reached his hand around Harry's waist and wrapped his fingers around Harry's dick which was so hard and he began to stroke him lazily, his fist lightly closed around Harry's throbbing dick. With each upstroke, he flicked his wrist and pressed his thumb into Harry's wet slit that was leaking precum. Harry cried out in pleasure.

 

'Faster please Lou,' Harry begged. Louis increased his hand motions and Harry began thrusting up harder into Louis' fist. After a while of Louis jerking Harry off, Harry still hadn't come.

 

'I can't Lou,' Harry cried out in frustration. 'I can feel my orgasm but I can't come and its hurts. There's a lot of pressure and it hurts and I need to come. Badly.' Louis removed his hand off Harry.

 

'Shh shh its okay baby. Get on your back,' Louis told him gently. Harry rolled over on his back and huffed. Louis climbed on top of him and stroked him a few times. His dick looked red and angry and painfully hard, leaking and bubbling precum. Louis kissed Harry's pouting lips.

 

'Its alright. It happens. Sometimes your body needs an orgasm so bad that it actually prevents it from happening. I need you to relax and don't try to force yourself to come. The more you do, the more you won't and it will hurt. Relax. I'll get you there love.'

 

Louis moved down Harry's body until his lips were inches from Harry's dick. His breath fanned on the hard member making Harry hump air and whine.

 

'Please Lou,' he begged desperately, not in the mood to be teased.

 

Louis took Harry's head in between his lips and sucked on it, twirling his tongue around it and teasing the slit, tasting Harry's salty precum. Harry kept perfectly still, panting and sweating, his body vibrating from the tension in his tensed up muscles it was feeling from his repressed and much needed orgasm.

 

Louis took him in, sliding his mouth down Harry's shaft. Harry groaned in pleasure, yet still not moving his body a fraction even though he wanted to badly thrust up. Louis bobbed his head a few times taking in as much of Harry as he could, licking and sucking, still Harry couldn't get the release he so much needed. Louis felt his frustrations and he was aware of what Harry needed to get off. Since they were into new memory making and trying out new things to create fresh memories, this was simply called for.

 

Louis pulled off Harry, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Before Harry could even begin to protest at the loss of contact, Louis told him:

 

'Fuck my mouth.' Harry raised his head off the pillow and looked at Louis with a perplexed and confused look on his face.

 

'Excuse me what?' he asked in disbelief. Louis grinned at him.

 

'I want you to fuck my mouth,' he told him.

 

'B-but you n-never let me move w-when you suck m-me off,' Harry told him feeling excitement build up inside him. Louis rubbed his thighs.

 

'That was before Harry. New memories right? Its what you wanted baby. My mouth is a virgin and is at your disposal. It has never been fucked before so you have the opportunity to take my mouth's virginity away. I'm giving it to you.' Harry propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at Louis who was smirking at him from between his thighs.

 

'Are you like kidding me or?' Harry asked him doubtfully. Louis shook his head.

 

'That I am not. Harry baby (kisses the inside of his thigh) darling(another kiss on his other thigh) I'm giving you new memories my love.' Harry licked his lips.

 

'A-are you sure? I mean d-do you want this? Are you okay with it?' Louis grinned at him and squeezed his thighs.

 

'Oh fuck yeah I want this. Come on baby boy let's see you fuck the sass out of my mouth. Let's see what you got. Fuck it till my throat is so raw I can't speak.'

 

Harry felt excitement course through him. He loved Louis talking dirty to him. Louis opened his mouth and took Harry in. Harry remained propped up on his elbows watching as Louis bopped his head up and down his dick. Tentatively and ever so carefully he thrust his hips up into Louis' virginal mouth. He didn't want to hurt him or choke him on his dick. He thrust a few more times, gently and slowly. Louis pulled off and looked up at Harry saliva dripping down his chin.

 

'I thought I told you to fuck my mouth till I'm hoarse not tickle my tonsils,' he said cheekily as he slapped Harry's bare thigh playfully. 'Come on baby give it to me like you really mean it.' Louis found that it excited him to give Harry some control over him. It was a turn on to watch Harry in control of the situation. Harry smirked at him.

 

'You want it that bad? You go it,' he told him. He loved that Louis was giving him this boost in confidence. Louis was allowing him some control over him and he would be a fool not to take it. He felt confident that he could do this.

 

Louis went down on him again and this time when Louis swallowed him down, Harry thrust up, ramming his dick into the back of Louis' throat. Louis gagged and choked, startled from having Harry's dick go further in than he was used to but Harry was going to let him have it. They picked up a rhythm; every time Louis went down, Harry thrust up hard, the head of his dick entering Louis' throat which was tight.

 

'Relax your throat,' Harry choked out, unable to speak from the pleasure he was getting. Louis tried but he was no pro at this. He had never had a dick this far down his throat and in all honesty, he was loving it. He relaxed his throat and on his next down stroke, Harry slipped in further down his throat, causing Louis to making choking noises. His eyes were full of tears streaking down his cheeks. Harry found him irresistible. Submissive Louis was sexy as fuck!

 

Harry could feel his orgasm building and getting closer to his release. His elbows gave out and he fell back on the pillows because he couldn't support himself up any longer. His body was trembling and shaking with the beginning of his orgasm. Louis was relentless at taking him down.

 

'Lou m-move. I-I'm c-close,' Harry groaned. He knew Louis didn't swallow and Harry needed him to pull off right away so he could come but Louis kept on taking him down. Harry reached down and pushed Louis' head away but Louis didn't budge.

 

'Louis please. I'm s-so c-close. Please let me come. Move. I-I can't hold back a-any longer,' Harry whined. Harry tried pushing his head away again but Louis gave him a stern look even though his eyes were streaming tears. He grabbed Harry's wrists and pinned them down to the bed by his side, tightening his fingers.

 

'Louis please no,' Harry groaned out. 'I c-can't hold back. Don't make me! Please Lou,' Harry cried but Louis only continued to take him down, working his throat around Harry's dick. Harry thrust up sloppily into Louis' warm, wet mouth because now it was too late and he was chasing his orgasm. He spilled his load, hot and thick into Louis' mouth with a shout of Louis' name leaving his lips like a sacred mantra. Louis coughed and choked and sputtered on Harry's cum, most of it dribbling out of his mouth, back down Harry's dick. Louis closed his eyes tightly shut as he felt like he was literally suffocating on Harry's cum. Harry pulled out and immediately sat up, cupping Louis' face, worry etched all over his face.

 

'Oh my God Louis I'm so sorry. I-I told you to move. I-I couldn't stop it. God I'm so sorry,' Harry said as he wiped Louis' mouth and chin from cum and saliva. Harry was feeling frantic and panicked as he watched Louis take in deep gulps of breath.

 

He's going to be mad. He's going to yell. He's going to be so mad at me. I did wrong. I did wrong. Harry's mind was going crazy.

 

'Are you alright Lou? Did I hurt you? Do you need water? Let me go get you water. Please say something,' Harry fussed. Louis looked up at him through watery eyes.

 

'Sorry I made a mess and didn't swallow the whole load,' he told Harry with a smirk on his face and his voice hoarse and raw. He coughed a few times.

 

Harry looked at him a little shocked. Louis sat back on his haunches between Harry's spread thighs.

 

'What?' Harry asked him.

 

'Sorry I spilled your cum,' Louis told him as he cleared his throat.

 

'B-but you don't s-swallow. You told me you d-don't y-you told me so,' Harry said feeling confused. Louis crawled on his knees pushing Harry back to lie down until he was lying on top of him.

 

'I do now,' he told him seductively. 'You taste heavenly. And the next time I suck you off, I will do it better.' Harry gulped.

 

'N-next time? T-there's going to be a n-next time?' Louis smiled and kissed him deep making sure that Harry tasted himself on his lips and tongue. Louis pulled back but kept his lips hovering over Harry's.

 

'Oh yes love. There will be more next times,' he told him. 'Next time I'll swallow each and every drop. Today was just a test drive.' Harry grinned up at him.

 

'I deflowered your mouth!' Louis smiled and placed kisses along his neck. Harry closed his eyes.

 

'Hmm that you did,' Louis moaned against his skin. 'You fuck real hard. Too bad I don't bottom,' he said a little dreamily.

 

'Did I hurt you?' Harry asked him. Louis continued to nip at his neck.

 

'No. My jaw hurts a little and my throat feels as if its burning but I'm good baby. So so good. Now, how about we shower? We are filthy and sticky and smell of sex and cum.' Harry wrapped his long legs around Louis' waist and his arms around his neck pulling him down on him.

 

'Do we have to?' Harry asked. 'Can't we just stay in bed and do the do all day long?' Louis continued to place kisses up and down his neck.

 

'As much as that tempts me, we can't honey. I have to meet Niall at my company.' Harry looked at him with wide doe eyes.

 

'You are trading me in for Niall? Leaving me and this bed to hang out with my friend? Shame on you,' Harry said playfully. He pouted hard, clinging tighter to Louis. Louis kissed his pout.

 

'I adore you and I love you but Niall is my best friend too now so you're gonna have to learn to share and play well with others.' Harry pouted harder and wrapped his limbs tighter around Louis.

 

'God Harry you're like a fucking six foot Koala bear. You're suffocating me you sweet moron,' Louis told him playfully trying to get out of Harry's grip. Louis kissed his face repeatedly and Harry giggled.

 

'I love you,' Harry told him.

 

'I love you also. Now let's get up and go shower. I want to wash you.' Louis rolled off of him and got out of bed. Harry whined at having lost Louis' warm body that was covering him but he sat up and lowered his feet to the floor where there were heaps of tissues scattered around the bed.

 

'I have to clean up this mess,' he told Louis who was in the closet sorting out what to wear.

 

'No you don't,' he told him as he came out of the closet holding a suit. 'That's why I pay house keeping to have maids come in and clean.' Harry looked at him with wide disbelieving eyes.

 

'There is no way I am letting maids in this room that smells of sex and cum or letting them clean up our....stickyness! I will clean up and do the laundry. These sheets need a good wash.' Louis chuckled and walked over to him. He bent down and cupped his face in both his hands.

 

'Baby you don't really have to. Its their job.' Harry shrugged.

 

'This mess is embarrassing. Besides, I love cleaning,' he told Louis with a smile. Louis kissed his lips softly.

 

'My domestic baby,' he purred. Harry grinned up at him.

 

'While you're away at work, I will clean and have dinner ready.' Louis kissed his lips again.

 

'My housewife,' he said then he stopped suddenly when he realized what he had said. Harry blushed and the moment felt a little awkward.

 

'We're not married silly so technically I am not a housewife,' Harry said trying to lighten the situation. Louis caressed his cheeks and gave him a longing look, full of desire that was not sexual, but something more, something deeper.

 

'No we are not,' Louis told him and what was that in his voice? Disappointment perhaps? Louis let go of his face and turned away. The tension between them felt thick. Harry looked down at his thighs which were covered in red and purple love bites. He smiled.

 

'Wow you really mark me didn't you?' he asked Louis playfully. Louis looked over his shoulder at him.

 

'Mine. Staking my territory,' he said playfully.

 

'You also gave me beard burn,' Harry whined. 'Look, I have a red rash all over my inner thighs. Look!' Louis turned and looked at him, sitting there naked like some beautiful God carved out of marble. Louis was not a religious man and he held no religion dear but if he had to have a God of his choosing, Harry would be it! He knew he would gladly worship at his feet. He walked closer and inspected his thighs. His inner thighs were indeed littered with dark bruises and a red rash. Louis felt bad. He hadn't asked him permission if he could mark him. He got carried away in the heat of the moment and had marked him. He moved closer to him, touching his thighs lightly.

 

'I'm sorry,' he said softly. 'I shouldn't have.'

 

'Don't be,' Harry told him right away. 'I love them.'

 

'You do?' Louis asked him. Harry put his hand over Louis' where it was resting on his thigh.

 

'I've never belonged to anyone Lou. I've never had a love bite. I feel owned. Yours,' he whispered. Louis stood there is awe of this beautiful boy. He leaned down and kissed him softly.

 

'I love you so damn much,' he told him as he kissed him again. Harry smiled into the kiss.

 

'However,' he said against Louis' lips. 'The rash is something we need to talk about. That is not a sign of ownership. I have very sensitive skin you see,' he whined playfully. Louis raised an eyebrow at him, a smile on his lips.

 

'Fine. I'll shave so your sensitive skin won't have to endure my manly facial hair.'

 

'No!' Harry was quick to say. 'No. Don't shave. I love your manly facial hair. My sensitive skin will have to get used to it and endure it I guess. But, you do owe me a rash cream!' Louis laughed loudly.

 

'Okay baby. The beard stays and I'll get my assistant to get the cream.' He tugged on Harry's hand pulling him up off the bed. 'Shower. Now!' Harry smiled cheekily at him.

 

'Yes Sir,' he said as he walked passed Louis towards the bathroom and Louis couldn't help but slap that naked ass.

 

An hour later, they were sat outside at the table under the trees having breakfast. They each had bowls of fresh fruit, orange juice, tea and coffee. Louis was reading the newspaper and Harry was scrolling through Twitter reading all the reviews from yesterday's show and how all the articles said positive things about him and his performance and how Marc Jacobs had taken a chance and a risk on a newbie that turned out to be a star. Harry was smiling at his phone when Louis put the paper down and looked at him.

 

'What got you smiling like that? I thought I was the only one that made you smile like that,' Louis told him. Harry looked up at him, him his eyes shining.

 

'You do Lou. It's just...they...they are saying good things about the show and...and me,' he told him innocently. Louis got up and stood behind him, bending over and kissing him behind his ear.

 

'They should. You were fantastic.' Just then Louis phone rang. He swiped it and replied.

 

'Yes come up please,' he said into the phone and hung up. Harry looked at him waiting for Louis to elaborate.

 

'That's the delivery man. The clothes I bought from Marc that you wore at the show are here. I'll go and show him in.' He kissed Harry's head and walked inside leaving him to continue reading the reviews. The elevator dinged open and the delivery man stepped inside pushing a rack of clothes in plastic Marc Jacobs bags.

 

'Your delivery Sir,' the man informed him. Louis thanked him, tipped him and the man left. Louis rolled the rack inside their bedroom and it was then that he noticed a black box with a gold bow at the bottom of the rack. He picked up the box and saw that there was a card under the bow. He pulled it out and read it:

 

"A small thank gift for you for letting me borrow that amazing boy of yours. Use wisely. Much Love M."

 

Louis placed the box on the bed, pulled the edges of the bow and lifted the lid. He held his breath as he viewed the contents of the box. Inside were 3 silicone dildos of different sizes and colors, 2 vibrators, 3 jewelled butt plugs, silicone cock rings, a blindfold, handcuffs with black fur, pink fur and leopard print fur and a few tubes of flavored lube.

 

'Marc what the fuck?' Louis whispered to himself. He placed the lid back on the box, his breathing shallow and fast. 'What the fuck are you thinking?' he said to himself again as he took out his phone and found Marc's number. Marc picked up on the second ring.

 

'I take it you got my gift,' Marc said cheerfully into the phone. 'You are welcome cher.'

 

'What the fuck are you thinking?' Louis hissed into the phone. Marc chuckled.

 

'Well after seeing your boy practically naked yesterday I got some ideas......'

 

'Marc!!!' Louis growled into the phone. 'Don't fuck with me this early in the morning.'

 

'Its not that early,' Marc joked. 'Its after 10 am cheri.' Louis huffed.

 

'I have had a very good morning so far and you are fucking it up for me. What is the meaning of this shit you sent me?'

 

'Well darling, that shit I sent you is my way of helping you,' Marc said calmly. Louis furrowed his brow.

 

'Help me? Help me how with a box full of sex toys?' Marc sighed.

 

'Louis,' he said, his voice taking on a serious tone. 'I told you I won't let you hurt Harry again. I saw the scars when he undressed and he didn't deserve that. Don't worry, I kept him away from the others while he changed. I didn't want any speculations or anyone asking any questions. The last thing I wanted was for Harry to feel uncomfortable.' Louis didn't say anything so Marc continued:

 

'That box I sent you is for you to turn your sadistic ways into kinky ways. Kinky is better than sadistic Lou. That boy is so precious and I really want you to be gentle with him. So I thought up this gift for you. Pleasure him in a safe way darling. Get pleasure out of seeing him being pleasured and enjoying it. That box offers you so many possibilities, so many games you can play with him without hurting him.' Louis was silent for a minute then he cleared his throat.

 

'You don't trust me with him,' he told him. It was not a question but a fact.

 

'I am going to be honest with you cher. I don't trust you with him. I am afraid for him. I don't want you going off on him again. So this way, with this idea that I got, it might get your mind off your other things and get you to concentrate on something else, something less hurtful and more enjoyable. Just try it Louis. For his well being and my peace of mind. Will you?' Marc waited.

 

'When exactly did you come up with this genius kinky idea of yours?' Louis asked him and Marc sighed in relief when he heard that there was no anger in his voice.

 

'It must have been when I saw your boy wearing nothing but a thong.....'

 

'Fuck you,' Louis said playfully.

 

'He's got a fine ass.........'

 

'Marc I'm fucking warning you. Shut up,' Louis threatened. Marc laughed.

 

'Just remember that if you ever get the urge to hurt him, that I will take him away from you if you do. And that I saw him almost naked.'

 

'I hate you so fucking much,' Louis told him playfully.

 

'I love you too my darling. Enjoy the box and that yummy boy of yours. Hope you will have a good day mon amour.'

 

'Thank you,' Louis whispered into the phone.

 

'You are welcome darling. Always. Be safe. Both of you.' Louis hung up and looked at the contents of the box once again and a thrill of excitement went through him.

 

How are you going to broach this to Harry though? You showed him one side of you and now you will show him this?

 

Louis silently cursed his subconscious for always pointing out the shit stuff. He slammed the lid back on the box and took it to his closet, placing it on the top shelf out of view. He went back out and found Harry in the kitchen cleaning up.

 

'I gotta go love,' Louis told him as he wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. Harry snuggled into the embrace and Louis kissed behind his ear. 'I will try and not be too long. I hate being away from you.' Harry pushed himself back on Louis.

 

'And I hate being away from you,' he whispered. He turned in his arms and they kissed nice and slow. Louis pulled back and reluctantly left the penthouse, leaving Harry behind.

 

X

 

When Louis arrived back at the penthouse it was close to five in the afternoon. As soon as he stepped off the elevator, the smell of food greeted him. There were candles in the living room and on the floor in the corridor leading to their bedroom.

 

'Honey I'm home,' Louis called out as he undid his tie. Harry came in from the verandah and went straight into Louis' arms.

 

'I missed you,' Harry whispered into his neck.

 

'I missed you too baby,' Louis told him. 'Something smells good. I'm starving.' Harry smiled at him.

 

'I made a typical British Sunday roast,' he told him. Louis' eyes went wide.

 

'Complete with Yorkshire pudding, spuds and gravy?' Harry laughed.

 

'Yes of course. What kind of British roast would it be without those?' Louis moaned.

 

'Fuck Harry I'm starving can we eat?' Harry shook his head.

 

'Not yet. Still needs a bit more cooking. Come,' he told Louis as he held out his hand to him and took him into the kitchen. On the counter were two glasses of red wine. Harry gave one to Louis and took one for himself then took Louis' hand again and led him to their bathroom where the tub was filled with steaming water with bubbles that smelled of lavender and candles on every surface.

 

'Wow,' Louis exclaimed. 'This is amazing babe.' Harry kissed his lips.

 

'I figured you would be exhausted so I thought a hot bath and dinner would help you unwind.' Louis kissed him again then they both undressed and got into the bath, each one on opposite ends of the tub facing each other. They soaked in the hot water and sipped wine as they talked about their day. Harry listened to Louis telling him how well Niall was getting on with his team and how he was fitting right in. Then Louis asked Harry about his day which Harry told in detail of how he had cleaned the entire penthouse. Harry then slipped his hands under the hot water and began to massage Louis' feet.

 

'I um I ugh....' he began. Louis took a sip of his wine.

 

'What is it love?' he asked him groaning at the pressure Harry was applying to the arch in his foot. Harry bit his lower lip, chewing on it nervously. 'Go on tell me,' Louis urged him on.

 

'I um f-found your box,' he said looking up at Louis expecting him to fly into a fury. 'I-I didn't mean to. I w-was just cleaning and I-I pulled it out and it-it fell and and.....please don't be mad,' he ended quietly. Louis gulped. His secret had been found out.

 

That escalated quickly!

 

'I not mad,' Louis told him softly.

 

'You're not?' Harry asked him a little surprised because he had expected Louis to be mad. 'I mean its none of my business w-what you do....I mean with you know....your other.....'

 

'Hey,' Louis stopped him knowing where Harry was going with his train of thought. He knew Harry was thinking of his basement and his other boys. 'It's not like that,' Louis told him.

 

'No?' Harry asked, his eyes down and his voice a little doubtful. Louis squeezed his knee.

 

'Hey look at me,' he told him gently and Harry raised his eyes till they met Louis. 'That box was a gift from Marc. I got it this morning with your clothes delivery.' Harry looked down again.

 

'You don't have to explain. What you do is your business. I agreed to it,' Harry told him and it was not lost on Louis that his voice sounded sad even though he was trying hard to sound casual. He slid in the bath till he was closer to Harry. Harry's long legs now draped around Louis. Louis placed his finger under his chin and tilted his head up.

 

'He sent them to me....to....to use them....with you,' he said softly because it was the first time Louis actually felt embarrassed about something. He had never used toys before. Never had a partner that he was so into that required using toys. He watched Harry's eyes grow a little wider.

 

'Oh,' Harry said through pink parted lips. Louis had to fix the situation fast. He didn't want Harry to think he wanted him to let him use those toys on him.

 

But you want to. You know you're intrigued.

 

'Harry, Marc doesn't know you. He thought maybe......'

 

'That I'm like one of your boys?' Louis looked at him startled. He wasn't explaining this right and he was messing it up but how did he explain it without bring up what he had done to Harry? Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He wasn't good at this, at explaining things but he had to try.

 

'You are nothing like them Harry. You...you are special. Always remember that alright. Marc just thought that maybe...it would be fun to play, you know try out things. He knows me Harry. He knows what kind of person I am or used to be before I met you. He sees the changes you made in me and he knows about.....what I did to you.' Louis stopped and waited for Harry's reaction but Harry said nothing. Louis sighed. 'Look Harry, Marc can be a dick sometimes. We don't have to use them or try anything......'

 

'So those are for me? To be used on me?' Harry said quietly. Louis moved closer to him.

 

'No...I mean yes but no. We don't have to.....'

 

'I want to,' Harry said timidly, his eyes glinting with mischief. Louis gawked at him.

 

'Sorry what? You want to what?' he asked clearly caught of guard. Harry looked at him, a mix of innocence and mischief in his eyes, something that made Louis weak.

 

'I want to try them...with you,' he said softly and Louis could already feel his dick stir at the thought and prospects of what to do with those toys. He felt flustered.

 

'You mean that?' he asked him. Harry smiled a little.

 

'I mean it,' he told him, then his face went serious. 'Just um...just not the um handcuffs. Please I don't want to be tied. Not my hands. Or my legs,' Harry told him. Louis felt those words go to his heart because he knew what Harry was thinking about. He cupped his cheek.

 

'I won't use them on you love. I'll throw them out. I n-never used toys before. I mean I know what to do with them but I never....' Harry took his hand.

 

'We'll figure it out together. Come,' he told him as he stood up and tugged Louis' hand. Louis looked up at him in awe.

 

'Now? You want to try now?' Harry stepped out of the bath and wrapped a towel around himself, picked up his wine glass and walked out into the bedroom. Louis sprinted out of the bath tub not bothering with a towel and followed Harry dripping wet. He found Harry sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

'What about dinner?' Louis asked remembering it was in the oven.

 

'Still time. Besides, I'm the first course,' Harry told him seductively. Louis grinned at him.

 

'And since when have you become master of seduction?' Louis asked him raising an eyebrow at him.

 

'Since you taught me how,' Harry replied. Louis chuckled.

 

'Sassy! I like,' he commented. He went into the closet and brought the box, excitement coursing through him like a little kid on Christmas morning. He placed the box on the bed and opened it. 'So what do you want to try?' Harry tapped his index finger against his lips then reached into the box and took out one of the two vibrators in the box.

 

'I've always wanted to try one,' he told Louis a little sheepishly. Louis smirked at him as he saw Harry's cheeks turn pink. How could they be discussing which vibrator to use and Harry blushes shyly at the same time?

 

'And your wish is about to come true. Lay back on the bed baby. Safe word?'

 

'Louuuuu,' Harry whined.

 

'Safe word,' Louis said sternly. Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'STOP! Happy now?'

 

'Very,' Louis told him as he took out a tube of lube from the box and settled on his knees between Harry's spread legs. Louis checked that there were batteries inside and there were! Marc thought of everything the little prick. Louis put the vibrator on the bed and looked at Harry.

 

'Going to open you up love,' he told him as he lubed up three fingers. Harry nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. Louis traced his index finger around Harry's hole, then inserted his index finger, making Harry hiss and throw his head back on the pillow. Louis quickly inserted another finger, thrusting them in and out of Harry and soon he had the boy hard and squirming beneath him. He himself was hard and leaking from his tip from just watching Harry's pleasure face.

 

'Louis now,' Harry moaned. Louis pulled out his fingers and lubed up the vibrator.

 

'Harry you need to tell me what you feel when this is inside you. I never used one on anyone so I don't know what it does exactly or if I'm even about to do it right.'

 

'Okay I will,' Harry promised. Louis slowly placed the tip of the vibrator at Harry's hole and began pushing it in gently. He watched as Harry's hole stretched around the toy and took it in. Harry was panting and clutching at the sheets. Once it was fully inside him, Louis told him:

 

'I'm turning it on,' Harry nodded and bit his lip hard bracing himself for the foreign sensation. Louis flipped the switch to low.

 

'Ohhhhhh,' Harry groaned closing his eyes. 'Oh shit!'

 

'What is it? Does it hurt? Is it bad?' Louis asked him a little panicked.

 

'God no,' Harry whined. 'It's....ugh...c-can it g-go any faster?' Louis smirked at him and turned it up a few notches. He watched Harry's body shudder, his lips part as he fisted the sheets.

 

'Good?' Louis asked as he began stroking himself lazily watching Harry being pleasured by the vibrator.

 

'Y-yes God y-es fuuuuuck!' he moaned and Louis found his filthy mouth a turn on. He shifted the vibrator and pushed it in a little more and knew he had found Harry's prostate when the boy arched his back off the bed and groaned loudly.

 

'Right there oh fucking hell,' he moaned and Louis increased the movements of his hand on his dick, pumping himself faster. Marc was right! This was hot and fucking amazing watching Harry being pleasured and come undone right in front of his very eyes. Harry squirmed and moved on the bed from the constant stimulation to his prostate which was relentless.

 

'I'm-I'm close oh God...I'm..... Lou...Louis.....'

 

'I'm here baby. Let go. Come for me sweetheart. Come untouched honey come on you can do it. Let me see you.' Harry felt Louis' words go straight to his dick and with the vibrator dead set on overstimulating his prostate, his body went rigid and he shot his load hard all over his tummy and chest. His body shook with the force of the orgasm and when Louis saw him like that, he came all over Harry's thighs. Louis rode out his orgasm, lost momentarily in the pleasure of watching Harry come untouched. He only came back when he heard Harry moan softly:

 

'Lou please pull it out. Turn it off.' Louis blinked and came to. 'Please I'm sensitive.' Louis quickly turned off the vibrator and watched Harry sigh in relief. He pulled it out slowly then lay down next to Harry.

 

'Wow. That was just....wow,' Louis muttered breathlessly. Harry was panting beside him. Louis turned his head to look at him. 'Are you alright? How was it for you?' Harry looked at him, his eyes hooded and a satisfied smile on his lips.

 

'Mind blowing,' he whispered. Louis raised himself on his elbow and kissed him softly.

 

'Glad you enjoyed it. Remind me to send Marc a thank you fruit basket.' Harry laughed.

 

'I need a quick shower then dinner. I'm starving.' Louis pecked his lips.

 

'Sex does that baby. C'mon shower than we eat.'

 

x

 

It was two days before they had to leave Los Angeles and head back to London when Harry received a message from the university informing him that he had passed all his exams with the highest scores possible. Harry stood in the kitchen staring transfixed at the message on his phone, his heart hammering against his chest, reading it over and over again making sure that what he was reading was right. Then he dashed outside where Louis was sunbathing by the pool.

 

'Lou. Lou,' he yelled happily as he ran towards him. Louis raised his Aviator sunglasses and looked at Harry who was standing beside his sunbed.

 

'What is it love?' he asked him.

 

'I...I just um I....Oh my God...I'm so happy,' he said rushing out the words. Louis stood up and faced Harry because if Harry was rushing out his words something was really important since he was the slowest talker Louis had ever met.

 

'Slow down baby,' Louis said.

 

'I...got a message....from....'

 

'Gucci?' Louis asked him. Harry furrowed his brows.

 

'What? No.....its....'

 

'Saint Laurent!' Louis told him excitedly. Harry looked at him confused.

 

'No. No. I got a message from the University. I passed all my exams with the highest scores!!' he finally let out.

 

'What the fuck did I tell you huh?' Louis told him happily. 'I knew you would do it baby. I'm so fucking proud of you. Well done,' he congratulated him as he hugged him tightly to him and peppered his face with kisses. Harry pulled back.

 

'I need to call Liam, Zayn and Niall see if they passed too.'

 

'You do that my baby. I'll make Margaritas to celebrate.' Harry called his friends and after he had hung up informed Louis that they all had passed their exams. Louis handed him his drink.

 

'A toast,' he told him and Harry smiled. 'To the future best selling author and photographer. We're on the road baby. Congratulations.' They chinked their glasses and took a sip. Louis looked at Harry. 'This calls for some serious celebrating. How about I see if I can book us in at Drai's in Hollywood for a private party?'

 

'Really?' Harry asked him. 'A private party for me and my friends?' Louis smiled.

 

'Of course. We are celebrating your success baby. I'll make a few calls. You call your friends and tell them to get their asses over here.' They both went off to make phone calls and arrangements for the night.

 

 

Harry was excited as he went through what clothes to wear for the evening. He went for black leather pants and a red sheer shirt from the Marc Jacobs collection. He set them out on the bed not forgetting his black collar and black studded boots. As he was fixing his hair wearing only the smallest of black boxers, Louis walked in, dressed to kill in a Valentino royal blue suit, light pink shirt and no tie. Harry saw him through the mirror and his breath hitched. Louis walked into the room and eyed the clothes on the bed.

 

'You're wearing those?' Louis asked him. Harry smirked at him.

 

'You don't like them?'

 

'On the contrary. I love them,' Louis told him huskily fingering the collar. He walked up to him and stood behind him, resting his palms on his fern tattoos. 'I was thinking maybe you would like to try something else from the box tonight?' Harry turned in his arms and looked at him with a glint in his eyes.

 

'Like?' Louis leaned forward and placed kisses on his neck.

 

'Like that butt plug with the remote control?' Louis asked him. Harry's dick twitched.

 

'Y-you want me to w-wear a vibrating butt plug with a remote control to the club?'

 

'Hmmm,' Louis hummed as he continued to kiss his neck. 'It's kinda hot. Just you and I knowing what's going on. I want to see how well you can take it in public.' Harry was getting excited. The thought of being stimulated in public was highly enticing and a huge turn on.

 

'I assume you will be handling the remote?' Harry asked him huskily as he threw his head back giving Louis more access to his neck.

 

'Obviously,' he whispered against his neck. Harry closed his eyes as a shiver passed over his body at the thought.

 

'Alright,' he told Louis. Louis raised his head.

 

'Are you sure?' he asked him. Harry smiled at him.

 

'Positive,' he told him. Louis looked down at his boxers.

 

'Strip that down for me,' he told him as he went into the closet and came out holding lube and a pink butt plug with a silver stud jewel at the end of it. Harry had his boxers round his ankles.

 

'How do you want me?' he asked Louis.

 

'Face the mirror and continue doing your hair,' he told him and Harry did as asked. Louis stood behind him lubing up the butt plug. He then tapped his bum.

 

'Spread them,' he told him and Harry spread his legs for him. Ever so gently, Louis inserted the butt plug. Harry hissed at the cold object penetrating him. He held on to the dresser, closing his eyes as Louis pushed it all the way in.

 

'Done,' Louis told him. 'How does it feel?' Harry wiggled his butt a little.

 

'Invasive but good,' he smirked at Louis in the mirror. Louis smiled, crouched down and pulled Harry's boxers back up.

 

'Get dressed. We leave in ten,' he told him as he turned and walked out of the room. Before he walked out he pressed the button on the remote and watched as Harry's body twitched and shook, his mouth opened as he gripped the dresser tightly.

 

'Oh God,' Harry whispered biting his bottom lip hard. Louis removed his finger off the button.

 

'You're gonna have to hide it better babe,' Louis told him giving him a wink. Harry relaxed his body when the plug stopped vibrating. He was in for a very long, enjoyable and sexy night.

 

 

The club was packed, the music was loud and the drinks were flowing. Harry had no idea how Louis had managed this level of a party in a few hours. Even more so, he had no idea how Louis had managed to get the Rolling Stones, Stevie Nicks, Mick Fleetwood, Adele, Kim and Kanye and a few other celebrities to attend the party but Harry was in heaven as were his friends. He was happy and relaxed, excited, a little drunk and horny even though Louis had left his butt plug well alone.

 

Harry looked around the club searching for Louis and after a bit of searching he found him sitting at their round booth. Harry slid in next to him and as he sat down, he felt the butt plug shift a little inside him making him hiss in a non painful way.

 

'Louis!!!' Harry drawled as he draped himself around Louis. 'I was looking for you. You left me,' Harry told him, pouting playfully. Louis knew that Harry was tipsy. Harry was a happy drunk; a clingy, needy, whiney, happy drunk and Louis loved it. He wrapped his arm around Harry.

 

'You were drinking and talking with Mick Jagger baby, how could I take you away from your idol?' Louis asked him as he took a sip of his whiskey. Harry pouted again.

 

'You can always take me away. You are my number one idol,' Harry drawled again making Louis laugh.

 

'I know baby,' Louis told him, kissing his lips softly. Harry went in deeper for the kiss, clinging to Louis' shirt, pulling him closer.

 

'I'm horny,' he whispered against his lips. Louis smiled.

 

'Maybe I can help you with that,' he told him seductively as he reached into his trouser pocket and located the little remote. He pressed the button making the plug vibrate. Harry shivered and clung to him.

 

'Oh God,' he said into Louis' mouth. 'Ohhhhhh fuuuuck Lou,' he groaned. Louis removed his finger off the button, letting Harry relax. 'Fuck that was....please again.' Louis kissed his lips.

 

'I don't want you coming in your pants alright. Save that for later.' Harry nodded and Louis pressed the button again loving the way Harry's body seemed to be one huge contraction. He could feel him tremble against him. Harry placed his forehead on Louis' shoulders, still gripping his shirt tightly.

 

'God Louis....please don't stop. Please,' Harry whined and mumbled. Louis rubbed his back, acting as if nothing at all was going on besides a little PDA with his boyfriend while he continued to stimulate Harry's prostate. He removed his finger when he felt Harry breathing a little too harshly.

 

'Easy baby,' Louis whispered in his hair. 'Sit up love. Look who's joining us.' As Harry sat up, his eyes hooded and glazed from arousal, Marc slipped in their booth across from them.

 

'How are my two love birds doing? Fab party by the way cher. Never knew you had it in you,' he told Louis. Then looked at Harry. 'How's my favorite model slash bestie doing tonight? You look wasted,' he told him. Harry grinned and took another sip of his cocktail, carefully and seductively wrapping his lips around his straw and sucking while keeping his eyes locked on Louis. Louis held his gaze and smirked at him. Marc looked from one to the other.

 

'Okay I can feel the sexual tension all the way from over here,' he told them. 'You horny devils.' They both laughed and it was then that Louis decided to play with Harry. He pressed the button and watched him squirm and hold his breath and trying to keep a straight face in front of Marc. He watched him grab the edge of the table and press his thighs together, pressing his lips together to keep from moaning out. He let the button go and watched him relax and exhale. Marc looked at Harry.

 

'Are you alright love?' he asked him. Harry couldn't reply, he just took another sip of his drink.

 

'He's fine,' Louis told him. 'He's just on a high aren't you love?' Louis told him with a smirk and again Harry nodded and was thankful when Niall came over and tugged at his hand asking him to come meet some celebrity that had just arrived. They both watched him go, giggling with Niall.

 

'He sure looks good in those pants doesn't he?' Marc commented his eyes still on Harry's ass as he sashayed away.

 

'Do you fucking mind?' Louis spat at him. Marc smiled at him.

 

'Not at all. He's such an eye full.' Louis rolled his eyes at him.

 

'Thank you for the gift,' Louis told him, taking another gulp of whiskey.

 

'How is that working out for you? Marc asked him. Louis grinned.

 

'Fucking amazing. Never knew of all....'

 

'The possibilities?' Marc asked him raising an eyebrow at him. 'Oh darling there is a whole world of toys for you to explore and play with with that beautiful playmate of yours. I'm feeling bitter!' Louis laughed.

 

'Oh I'm sure you have playmates,' Louis told him. ' I know there are many who would love to play with you.' Marc's face went serious for a moment.

 

'Yes I don't lack those but I need something more. I want to settle down Louis. I want what you have with Harry. I'm tired of one nightstands and dicking around. Seeing you with Harry has made me want love and marriage and lots of sweet love making, lazy mornings wrapped in blankets, strolls in the park walking hand in hand. I want the whole package.' Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'I'm sure you will find him Marc. I never thought I would and if I, a bastard fucked up asshole like me can find love, then I'm pretty sure you will too.'

 

'You're a lucky son of a bitch,' Marc told him as he took a sip of his drink. Louis looked at Harry who was by the bar laughing with his friends.

 

'Guess I am,' he told him. Just then Ed came over and sat down next to Louis.

 

'Mr T, this is one hell of a fucking party,' he told him. Louis chuckled.

 

'I think I told you to call me Louis. Cut the Mr. T crap.' Marc kicked him in the ankle under the table shooting a look at Ed. Louis scowled at the pain then turned to Ed.

 

'Ed this is Marc, Marc this is Ed,' Louis said introducing them. Ed smiled widely at Marc.

 

'Finally I get to meet you. Man your collection was fucking amazing,' he told him. Marc smiled at him.

 

'Thank you....Ed. Is that short for Edward?'

 

'Yeah,' Ed replied. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Edward is a very beautiful, strong name,' Marc told him. 'Are you a real Ginger? I love Gingers.' Ed laughed loudly.

 

'Yeah I'm a real Ginger courtesy of my Irish family.'

 

'Irish? Where's the accent?' Marc asked him. Louis bit his lip because Marc was flirting with Ed so hard.

 

'I was born in Halifax West Yorkshire and raised in Framlingham Suffolk so I'm hundred percent British.' Ed paused and leaned across the table inching closer to Marc. 'I can imitate a perfect Irish accent for you though,' he told him a little seductively. Louis' eyes widened a fraction. Hold the fuck up? Was Ed flirting back with Marc? Marc smiled at Ed.

 

'Can you now? I would love to hear that. Bet its seductive,' Marc continued shamelessly.

 

'Oh it is,' Ed taunted him. 'Can I buy you a drink and take you for a test drive? Accent wise I mean,' Ed told him. Marc beamed at him.

 

'You had me at hello and conquered me at buying me a drink. I wouldn't pass out on a test drive,' Marc told him getting up out of the booth, Ed following. Ed was a little taller than Marc but younger. The contrast between them was beautiful though. Marc was was in his early fifties, dark hair, dark goatee, well built while Ed was in his twenties, ginger, tall and gangly still they looked good together. Marc winked at Louis.

 

'Have fun boys and be safe,' Louis called after them. He watched them walk away, Ed's hand on Marc's lower back guiding him towards the bar. Louis sighed contentedly as he continued to drink his whiskey. When Louis finished his drink, he got up and went in search of Harry. He needed him.

 

He found him on the dance floor dancing with his friends who were all sloshed. Louis moved through the sweating moving bodies and he was finally behind Harry. He wrapped his hands around Harry's waist who jumped a little at the contact but when he realized that it was Louis he relaxed into his arms and continued to sway his hips to the music, pushing his ass back on Louis. Louis nuzzled his neck and rolled his hips forward into Harry's ass, knowing that the butt plug was safely nestled in there.

 

'God you're fucking hot,' Louis whispered in his ear and Harry smiled, rolling his head back to rest on Louis' shoulder as he continued to gyrate on now Louis' hard dick. Louis looked around and saw all of Harry's friends surrounding them and a few other faces he knew. He knew what he wanted to do. He reached into his pocket for the remote and pressed the button. Immediately he felt Harry's body go rigid and begin to tremble.

 

'Ohhhhh,' Harry groaned closing his eyes.

 

'I want you to come, like this, right here, in front of all your friends. Can you do that?' Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis.

 

'Y-you w-want me to have an o-orgasm here?' Harry asked him.

 

'Yes please,' Louis said huskily as he sucked on his ear lobe, biting and nibbling the shell of his ear.

 

'Oh God,' Harry groaned. Louis reached into his pocket, found the remote and increased the vibrations. Harry's body reacted as if he had just been electrocuted. The music was pounding through him as was the alcohol. The plug was vibrating hard inside of him and Louis' hard dick was pressing against his ass. His body was on fire. Louis held him by wrapping his arms around his waist and rolled his hips against Harry's ass.

 

'Fuck Louis,' Harry whispered. 'This is.....it's .....fuuuuck.' Harry's nails dug into Louis' palms.

 

'Come on baby, spill for me. You are so fucking hot like this and nobody knows what we're doing. Come for me sweetheart.' He could feel Harry's breathing increasing, his body trembling, his sweaty hands trying to grab on to him for purchase and grounding.

 

'I'm...I'm c-close Louuuu God, help me,' Harry whined. Louis spun him around to face him.

 

S'okay baby I got you,' he told him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck as if they were dancing, holding him tight, breathing heavily into his neck, rutting against Louis' dick for friction. Harry was moaning in Louis' ear.

 

'Fuck this f-feels so g-good Lou. Ahhhh God Louis...it's ...its...I'm fuuuuckkkkk,' Harry groaned as he came in his pants. Louis felt him tremble and shake in his arms as his orgasm took him over. Louis reached down between them and placed his hand on Harry's dick, palming him as Harry continued to spill. Louis kissed his neck and face till Harry calmed down then reached into his pocket and turned the plug off. Harry raised his head and looked at Louis, his face flushed, eyes glazed.

 

'Wow!' he told him as he kissed his lips, plunging his tongue into Louis' mouth. Louis kissed him back almost devouring him. Harry pulled back suddenly and looked at Louis.

 

'Time for me to return the favor,' he told him with a smirk as he took his hand and literally dragged him off the dance floor even though his legs felt numb from the orgasm. He kept dragging Louis behind him until they were in the men's bathroom.

 

'Harry what.....?' Louis began to ask but Harry just dragged him inside a stall, locked the door and pushed him up against the wall.

 

'Be quiet,' he told him, his voice holding a hint of authority which Louis liked. Harry fell to knees just as the door to the bathroom opened and some men walked in, chatting and laughing. Harry looked up and Louis, put his index finger on his lips, indicating for Louis to be silent and took him in his mouth. Louis nearly screamed but bit down on his lip to keep himself from making any noise. Harry swallowed him down till Louis' dick was at the back of his throat. Louis' hands reached down to grab fistfuls of Harry's hair and he tugged and pulled not having anything to hold on to as Harry was dragging an orgasm out of him. He prayed the people out there in the bathroom would just fucking leave already!

 

Harry slurped and licked and sucked his dick really hard and Louis couldn't even tell him that he was close. Harry held him tight by the back of thighs not allowing Louis to move as he continued to bop his head up and down Louis' dick. Louis knew he couldn't hold back any longer. He pulled on Harry's hair, bit his lip harder and came down Harry's throat with tears streaming down from his eyes at the pleasure Harry was giving him. He rolled his hips until he was empty then Harry pulled off and stood up, smirking at Louis, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The people in the bathroom were leaving and when they closed the door, it was silent.

 

'And that's how you swallow it all,' Harry told him, giving Louis a wink while Louis was struggling to catch his breath.

 

'You're a sassy little shit you know that?'

 

'I learned from the best,' Harry told him. Louis reached for him, pulling him close and kissing him deep and hard, tasting himself on Harry. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against Harry's.

'I love you so much. I am so glad you are in my life Harry. I don't know how I was living before you walked into my life. I can't even remember how my life was before you came into it. I started living when I met you Harry. I love you.' Louis kissed him again.

 

'I love you too Louis. So much. I don't have enough words to explain it,' Harry told him and kissed him fervently again, both of them clinging to each other. When they pulled apart, they laughed.

 

'Let us make ourselves decent and get back to the party. They will be wondering where we are,' Louis told him.

 

'But I'm sticky down there,' Harry pouted playfully.

 

'My dirty beautiful boy,' Louis told him, planting another kiss on his lips. They emerged from the stall and fixed themselves. 'How about another drink?' Louis told him as he reached for his hand. Harry nodded and together they walked out back into the party.

 

 

A few hours later as the dawn was breaking, Harry and Louis stumbled into Louis' penthouse, hands all over each other, kissing hard,undressing each other as they staggered towards their bedroom, not breaking their kisses. When their clothes were off, they fell into a tangled heap on the bed and it wasn't long before Louis was making sweet love to Harry, loving him while whispering sweet words to him. Harry melted into his lover's arms, giving himself over completely to the man he loved.

 

After they made love, they both lay spent in each other's arms, Louis spooning Harry watching the sky lighten outside going from black to a light pink. A new day was dawning.

 

'Lou?' Harry said softly in the still dark room.

 

'Yes love?' Louis replied quietly.

 

'What are you most afraid of?' Harry asked him. Harry's question took Louis by surprise as Harry's question came out of the blue and it was a little personal and Harry had never asked him any personal questions before. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he tightened his grip around Harry's waist.

 

'Losing you,' he whispered, not believing he was actually opening up to Harry even if it was just a little bit. 'My greatest fear is losing you Harry.' Harry shuffled and turned in Louis' grasp to face him, placing his forehead against Louis'.

 

'You're never going to lose me Lou. I promise. There's no life for me without you. You gave me the beautiful gift of love and for that I am grateful. I'm here to stay,' Harry told him as he kissed his lips softly. Louis felt a lump in his throat.

 

'For always?' he asked him.

 

'For eternity,' Harry replied before they cuddled closer and fell asleep as morning broke, bringing forth another new day in the life of Harry and Louis.

 

I'd give up my sight just to see you  
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal  
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you  
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel  
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow  
There's no place that I'd rather be  
This life without you would be hollow  
This love is a gift, and you gave it to me  
All that I am, you have made me  
And baby, I know that it's true  
I'd give it all up in a heartbeat  
Just to spend every moment with you  
There's no place that I wouldn't follow  
There's nothing that I wouldn't do  
'Cause I wouldn't want to be me  
If I didn't have you.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 18................


	18. In Too Deep, Too Far Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys back with another chapter. Please note that of next week I will try to update Wednesdays and Sundays. Thank you as always for comments, kudos and taking time to read my fic. You are all much appreciated.  
> All the love M.

In Too Deep, Too Far Gone.

 

I was stumbling, looking in the dark   
With an empty heart  
But you say you feel the same  
Could we ever be enough?  
Baby we could be enough 

 

 

Harry was glad to be back in London, as was Louis. It always felt good to come back home after being away and now that things between them had returned to normal, Louis and Harry were both looking forward to settling down to their routines. Louis had to return back to work on Monday and Harry was due to start his second semester at Uni the following Monday too. Since it was Saturday afternoon, they decided to spend a lazy weekend to end their two weeks vacation on a good note. They did nothing but eat, sleep, make love, watch movies and just be together. Everyone in Louis' house was happy that their boss was finally happy and looking to settle down with Harry especially Judy who doted on the both of them and made them lovely meals for the duration of their lazy weekend, mostly spoiling Harry rotten, earning her playful reprimands from Louis that she should stop spoiling him. But Judy only brushed him off and continued to pamper Harry. Secretly, Louis was jealous but nobody had to know!

 

Come Monday morning, both were reluctant to leave each other. They woke up together, showered together, had breakfast together, with Harry almost sitting on Louis' lap while eating, lingering, hanging on to each other. Eventually, they left the house together, hand in hand. Louis had Angus drive them to Harry's Uni first. He wanted to drop him off. They kissed languidly and slowly in the back seat of the Bentley like two teenagers in love, holding hands as they kissed caressing each other's fingers and whispering words of love to each other in between kisses. When Angus parked in front of the University, they clung to each other as if they were parting for days instead of a mere few hours. Louis wouldn't let Harry go but kept on pulling him back in for kisses. Not that Harry was complaining. He loved the way Louis was loving him and kept laughing and giggling into the kisses but time was of the essence and soon Louis had to let him go but not before making Harry promise to text him whenever he was free which Harry did, sealing his promises by peppering Louis' face with kisses.

 

Harry basked in the attention and love that Louis was giving him. He felt as if he owned the world and he knew that nothing and no one could bring him down. He didn't care that he was wearing a Gucci shirt on his black skinny jeans or his Saint Laurent boots to Uni. He didn't care that students saw him stepping out of the Bentley as if he was a superstar and that they would talk behind his back. Louis had told him to own it like a boss and thus he was. Harry knew that they would recognize him now both from being Louis' boyfriend and from the modelling show. He figured that if they were going to stare, he might as well give them something to stare at. He put on his Rayban Wayfarer sunglasses and stepped out of the Bentley, hoisting his Louis Vuitton backpack on his shoulder, waving goodbye at Louis and began walking towards his building, his strides long, slow and confident. Harry never felt like this before and it was thanks to Louis that he now had this surge of confidence even though inside he was still the same old Harry.

 

Louis watched him go and he felt lonely without him already. How was he going to go through the day without seeing him? He made a mental note to tell Lynn that as of now he would be leaving the office not later than 4 pm. He needed to make a working schedule now that he had a partner who waited for him at home. He couldn't just work all hours and neglect Harry! He would work from 10 am till 4 pm and go home to Harry. As Angus drove him towards Canary Wharf, Louis sighed contentedly and relaxed in his seat watching London pass by outside. He felt happy. He genuinely felt happy. It was a nice feeling to feel wanted by someone you loved and who loved you back with the same intensity, if not more. He smiled to himself and allowed himself to day dream of a future filled with Harry.

 

X

 

Harry's first day back at Uni was a happy one until it was time for photography class and he had to meet up with Nick. He had been amazed at how many people had talked to him today, people that had never given him a second glance before. Now they were crowding him, wanting to be his friends but Harry new better than to let all this go to his head. He knew who his real friends were.

 

He entered the photo lab and was glad to see that the other students had not arrived yet and that it was just Nick. Nick was working on one of the computers and Harry made his way over to him cautiously. He hated that Nick hated him and that they were not on speaking terms. He wanted to make things right.

 

'Hey,' Harry told him with a smile as he sat down next to him. Nick continued to work on the computer ignoring Harry. 'Nick,' Harry said softly trying to get his attention. He really hated this tension between them. Nick stopped his work and turned to look at Harry, a huge fake smile on his face.

 

'Well if it isn't the famous model Harry Up Louis Tomlinson's Ass Styles. I am so happy you graced me with your Gucci shirt presence,' he told him sarcastically and Harry felt his spirits fall. His smile faded and he looked down at his boots, feeling embarrassed.

 

'Why do you hate me so much?' he asked him softly. He looked up at Nick and Nick could see the sadness in his green eyes but he was much too pissed at him to care.

 

'I don't hate you. I dislike what you have become. I don't even know you,' Nick spat at him, his voice harsh. Harry moved a little closer to him.

 

'Nick its me. Nothing has changed. Its still me,' Harry told him in a what he hoped was a convincing tone. Nick scoffed.

 

'The Harry I knew wasn't decked in designer wear or strutting down runways for Marc Jacobs or letting Louis Tomlinson fuck him and being his little bitch. The Harry I knew was a sweet, caring boy who was happy living the simple life he was working hard for.' Harry felt Nick's words go to his heart and it pained him that Nick saw him this way. Nick reached into his bag and pulled out a few magazines. 'This is not the Harry I know,' he told him as he slammed down the magazines in front of Harry. Harry could see the covers. On one there was a picture of him taking photographs at Marc's shoot in Covent Garden with the headlines "Upcoming New Photographer Shoots Marc Jacobs models in stunning black and whites. Meet Harry Styles." Harry frowned. He hadn't seen this magazine yet! On the other he was on the front cover with Louis, hand in hand as they had arrived in L.A with the headlines: "University Student Snags the heart of multi billionaire Louis Tomlinson. Couple arrive in L.A looking very much in love." The final one had a picture of him on the cover of a fashion magazine walking down the runway barefooted in his leather pants and open shirt with the headlines : "Louis Tomlinson's boyfriend walks the runway for Marc Jacobs. Marc Jacobs introduces Harry Styles to the fashion world." Harry looked down feeling embarrassed, his face flushed hot.

 

'I'm still me,' Harry said in a low hurtful voice.

 

'You are not!' Nick yelled at him. 'Ever since you met him, you have changed. You have become this....this cheap version of HIM. You are going out of your way to please him, to be what he wants you to be and forgetting yourself along the way. You are letting him mold you into somebody he wants because he's not content with who you really are! He's blinding you with his wealth and important stature he has in society.' Harry winced at his words.

 

'H-he is j-just........'

 

'Listen to you! Making excuse from him, taking abuse from him like a fucking little puppy who gets kicked but comes back as soon as he hands out scraps to you! He's got you brainwashed Harry and you're playing his game. All that you are becoming is because of HIM! This....this fame you suddenly have, do you think you would have gotten it were it not for HIM? Do you think Marc fucking Jacobs would have given you a second look or offered you these opportunities where it not for HIM?' Harry felt himself choke up, his hands starting to shake and he could feel a panic attack coming on.

 

'Why are you being so mean?' he asked him in a choked up voice. Nick huffed.

 

'I'm not being mean. I'm telling you how it is unlike your friends who are playing along because they like the flashy things Louis is blinding them with to get them in his good graces so he can manipulate you even more. He has you in a tight iron fist and he won't let you go until he's used you to his satisfaction and when he's done, he will throw you away like trash. And before you say that I'm a jealous prick who has feelings for you, well its not that. I met someone whom I'm very happy with so its not even like that anymore. I don't feel anything for you of what I once used to feel. You lost all my respect Harry and frankly I don't want to be associated with you or your friends anymore.' Harry looked at him with tears in his eyes.

 

'You can't possibly mean that Nick. We've been friends for so long. Please its still me,' Harry told him, almost begging. Nick laughed.

 

'I'm dropping this photography class because I can't stand to be in this lab that he bought you with. Every time I'm in here, I see him everywhere because Louis did this for you. Not for us as a student body but just for you. This lab is yours, his gift to you and while other students don't know shit about all this and think of Louis as their benefactor, I know better. I don't want to be anywhere near you or anything that has to do with him.'

 

'Nick no,' Harry whispered. Nick pushed the chair back and stood up.

 

'For your sake Harry, I hope he's worth it. I hope he's worth your heart and your body which you gave to him without restrictions. I hope he truly loves you and didn't simply buy you and you let yourself be bought like a cheap whore with glittering gold. Good luck Harry. I wish you the best,' Nick told him, giving him a disgusted look and walked out of the photo lab. Harry felt the tears fill his eyes. The way Nick talked, did make him feel cheap and bought and...and a whore. Louis' whore who had bought him with all these things, clothes and opportunities. As students started to fill the photo lab for the next lesson, Harry pushed back his chair, grabbed the magazines and ran out of the room, leaving them looking at him and wondering why he was fleeing in such a hurry.

 

Harry rushed outside feeling a panic attack gripping him and he was glad that the campus was almost empty. He walked to their usual table under the tree, sat down and let the tears come. How could Nick say such things about him? How could he even suggest that Harry was Louis' whore? He wasn't! Nick didn't know anything! Louis didn't treat him like a whore and he hated that Nick thought that. He was breathing hard and fast, feeling himself suffocating as if he was drowning as the tears fell freely from his eyes. He took in deep breaths and rested his head on the table in front of him, Nick's words echoing back to him setting off inside of him a million doubt and insecurity. How many people actually thought that of him, he wondered? How many did they see him as Louis' toy? Deep inside he knew that the words Nick had told him, he had thought about them himself and he knew that if it hadn't been for Louis none of this would be happening to him but Louis did this because he loved him didn't he? Louis had told him that he loved him and he trusted Louis. He did! He did! He trusted Louis and Louis loves him.

 

Does he really?

 

Harry pulled out his phone and dialled Louis number. He wiped furiously at his eyes and nose as he heard the ring tone, hoping Louis would answer. Just as Harry was about to hang up, Louis answered.

 

'Harry,' he breathed into the phone and at his voice Harry felt his heart squeeze tightly in his chest.

 

'Louis,' he whispered in his tearful voice.

 

'Harry what's the matter?' Louis asked him already feeling panicked when he heard Harry sniff and breathe harshly into the phone.

 

'I...I'm just....I...' he sobbed.

 

'Baby baby calm down. Did something happen?'

 

'I...I...I'm sorry....I just....,' Harry whispered.

 

'Harry are you sick or injured? Talk to me baby. What's wrong? I'm worried,' Louis told him his voice frantic.

 

'I'm not sick...I just....I need to ask you something. C-can I?' Louis sighed with relief that Harry was not injured or sick but he could hear that he was having a very bad panic attack.

 

'Yes baby of course but please calm down. Take deep breaths for me yeah. What is it that you want to ask me?'

 

'Do...do you.....love me?' Louis was silent for a moment clearly taken off guard by Harry's sudden question. 'Do you Louis? Do you love me?' Harry insisted, his voice a little urgent.

 

'You know I do honey. Where's this coming from?'

 

'I...I just n-need to hear it Louis please,' Harry begged him as he continued to take in deep gulps of air.

 

'Harry, I love you,' Louis told him clearly and calmly. 'I love you so much baby. What happened? Did someone do or say something to you?' Harry lifted his head and wiped his eyes and nose.

 

'N-no I...I just needed to hear it s'all,' Harry told him. 'I'll let you get back to work. Sorry I disturbed you.'

 

'Shush. You are my first priority Harry. You can call me anytime you need me. Is your panic attack better? Do you need me to come get you?' Harry smiled to himself. He was a fool for letting Nick fill him with doubts regarding Louis and his intentions with him. Louis loved him for real!

 

'No. I'm fine now. Thank you Lou,' Harry whispered.

 

'Anytime baby. Are you sure you are better?'

 

'Yes. I should head to class. I love you Lou.'

 

'I love you too baby. See you at home.'

 

x

 

Harry was glad when the day was over and done. Angus was waiting for him when he came out of his last class and for that Harry was grateful. As he got in the back seat of the Bentley, he sighed in relief. He made small talk with Angus as he drove them home. Louis still had about an hour and a half till he finished work so as soon as Harry got home, he went straight up to their bedroom, stripped and got under the shower. He needed to wash away the stress of the day before Louis came home. He took his time under the hot water and when he was done, he felt a little better. He put on a pair of sweats, a tee shirt and a pair of fluffy socks and went downstairs. Judy made him tea and a sandwich and sat down to have a chat with him as he ate and sipped his tea. By the time Louis arrived, Harry was feeling better and had almost forgotten about all the horrible things that Nick had said to him the moment Louis walked in and Harry saw his beautiful face.

 

As soon as Louis walked into the kitchen he went straight over to Harry and pecked his cheek.

 

'How are you love? You gave me a proper fright this morning when you called me,' Louis told him, rubbing Harry's back slowly. Harry gave him a small smile and cuddled closer to him.

 

'I'm okay. I just had a bad panic attack s'all.' Louis looked at him narrowing his eyes at him.

 

'What caused it?' he asked him. There was no way in hell that Harry was going to tell him what Nick had said. He knew how much Louis hated Nick and he didn't want him to be angry or do something stupid. He shrugged.

 

'I guess I'm not ready to be famous,' he told him with a small smile.

 

'Ah,' Louis said. 'The gossip and the stares hmm?' Harry nodded and Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'Don't let it get to you love. Haters will hate. They are just jealous of you. You just need to get used to it.' At those words Harry, looked down and played with his long fingers nervously.

 

'There's um something I need your help with,' Harry told him as Louis sat down on the stool next to him just as Judy placed a cup of coffee in front of him.

 

'What can I do for you?' Louis asked him taking a sip of his coffee. Harry looked at him and handed him his phone.

 

'Its been blowing up,' Harry told him.

 

'Already?' Louis exclaimed looking at the iPhone turning it over in his hand. 'I thought these things were supposed to be really good.' Louis shrugged. 'No worries I'll get you a new one tomorrow.' Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'Not like that Lou! Go through my messages and missed calls,' he told him.

 

'Oh,' Louis told him with a smirk. 'Sorry my bad.' He began scrolling through Harry's messages and missed calls. Gucci. YSL. Versace. Armani. Prada. Tom Ford. Vivienne Westwood. Calvin Klein. Hello magazine. OK magazine. The Daily Mirror. The Sun. GMA. Ellen. Vouge. Cosmopolitian. Another Man magazine. Vanity Fair. BBC.

 

'Wow,' Louis said, clearly impressed. 'This....this is impressive. I mean wow Harry. You've made a big hit baby. What do you need my help with?'

 

'I um need someone to um reply and to um help me with this,' Harry told him waving his hand towards the phone and all the messages on there.

 

'Oh right,' Louis said understanding what he needed. 'Of course how did I not see it before. You need your own PR team and a personal assistant. I'll get right on it.'

 

'No I do not!' Harry was quick to say. Louis looked at him confused as Harry fidgeted with his fingers. 'Maybe I thought you could um let me borrow yours. I don't need my own team and I certainly do not need a personal assistant. I am nobody Lou.'

 

'Nobody?!' Louis exclaimed. 'You're a fucking celebrity Harry. You're in high demand for interviews and TV shows and designers are calling you to model for them. You are definitely somebody baby and you need your people to handle these kind of things for you. Appointments, contracts, security. You need all that.' Harry shook his head sadly.

 

'No I don't. I don't think I can do this Lou. I just want to be me. Old me. Simple me. I...I don't want to change. I'm not made for all of this. My mum did not give birth to a celebrity. She just gave birth to me.' Louis put the phone down on the counter and scooted closer to Harry.

 

'What's the matter love? What's troubling you? Why are you dismissing yourself like this?' Harry looked down at his socks and wiggled his toes.

 

'Nothing,' he said softly. Louis bent down to look at him, trying to meet his gaze.

 

'Hey look at me,' he told him and Harry raised his head obediently meeting Louis' gaze. 'You are still Harry. My Harry. Nothing and no one can change that. Now its up to you what you want to do. I support you in any decision you make. I will get someone from my own PR team to deal with these people. If you need a lawyer, there's mine and I am pretty sure Leonard will assist you. You only need to decide where you want to go with this and who to talk to in terms of interviews and T.V appearances. My lawyer will oversee any contracts that are drawn up for you.'

 

'I...I don't want to do anything. I just want to be me. Do me. Do what I have been planning to do all my life. Graduate. Write. Take photographs. I don't like the fame Louis.' Louis sighed.

 

'Harry, did someone say anything to you to make you think this of yourself?' Louis asked him. Harry shook his head.

 

'No. I just....I just don't like being in the spotlight. I just want a quiet life with you that's all.' Louis got up and stood between Harry's legs taking him into his arms. Harry wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face in Louis' neck, relaxing in his embrace. Louis stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.

 

'Then you do what makes you happy baby. If being out of the spotlight is what makes you happy then you do that. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm proud of you either way.'

 

'Thank you,' Harry mumbled into his chest, tightening his arms around Louis.

 

'Nothing to thank me for baby. I'll get Leonard to reply to them declining their offers on your behalf.' Louis kissed the top of his head. 'And FYI, you were right. Your mother did not give birth to a celebrity. She gave birth to a fucking legend.'

 

 

x

 

A few days later, Louis had to visit Anthony after work. He hated that he had to stay out of the house longer than it was necessary but today he had his appointment with Anthony. He tried to re-schedule especially since Harry today finished Uni earlier than usual and he wanted to go home to him, but Anthony had told him that it wasn't a good idea to put it off any longer since they hadn't had a session together in over 2 weeks. Reluctantly and sulking, he made his way to Anthony's office. When he got there, he plopped down on the couch looking annoyed. Anthony sat in his usual chair ready with his pad and pen.

 

'Something on your mind?' Anthony asked him when he saw the scowl on his face.

 

'Yes,' Louis told him. 'What's on my mind is how I would like to be at home with Harry right now instead of being here with you.' Anthony smiled.

 

'Well let's start then shall we so you can get back to Harry. How are things? With you? And with Harry?' Louis huffed out a breath.

 

'They are good. Very good actually,' he told him. 'Can I go now?'

 

'Not just yet. What happened since the last time that made things between you so good?' Louis shifted in his seat trying to find the words to relay to Anthony what happened.

 

'Harry, he...he let me touch him. We were intimate,' Louis told him softly. Anthony raised his eyebrow.

 

'Really?' Anthony asked him though in all honesty Louis was expecting Anthony to be a little more excited about the fact that Harry had crossed this no intimacy boundary.

 

'Yes,' Louis told him. 'Things are so much better now,' he said a little smugly. Fuck it, if Anthony wasn't happy for him, then he was going to be happy for himself and for Harry. Anthony pursed his lips.

 

'Did he initiate the intimacy or was it you?' Louis furrowed his brows.

 

'What does it matter? It happened. We crossed that bridge and got over it,' Louis told him. Anthony tapped his pen against the pad.

 

'It does matter,' Anthony told him. Louis huffed.

 

'He initiated it. He wanted me to make love to him. He asked me to make new memories with him,' Louis told him. 'That's good right? I mean he was ready. He wasn't that afraid of me. He let me touch him and be with him.' Anthony put his pad and pen down on the table and looked at Louis.

 

'No its not good. He is hiding Louis. How can you not see that? He is pushing all that happened further down by not facing it and asking for new memories. He hasn't confronted you with what happened. He's just wanting you to make him forget it ever happened. That the rape never happened. He's making you make new memories for him to cover it up. He is doing everything in his power to eliminate it from his memory and you contributed to it. This denial he's in, its not doing him any good Louis.'

 

'He wants to move on! What was I supposed to do? Turn him down? Make him think I don't want him? What the fuck Anthony? ' he snapped angrily.

 

'Yes you should've turned his advances down. There is no moving on from what he has been through Louis,' Anthony patiently explained because he could understand Louis' anger and frustrations. 'The only way for him is through it. The only way he can ever be better and heal is if he comes to terms with it.' Louis sat up in his seat.

 

'So you want him to confront me about it? You want him to go back to what I did to him, relive it, bring it forth, talk about it, let it break him again while I have been watching him heal......'

 

'He hasn't been healing Louis,' Anthony stopped him. 'He's just in denial. There's a difference. He's simply ignoring it ever happened. He's simply living with it.'

 

'And don't you think I'm living with it too?' Louis said angrily. 'How do you think I feel each time I fucking look at him every single day and see what I have done to him right there on his body? I beat myself every fucking day over it and I think up of ways to make it better for him, to make him feel loved and that he's my everything. I do everything in my power to keep him safe and knowing he's hurting kills me. It kills me inside Anthony right here,' he said placing his hand on his heart. 'Because I love him. I love him like I've never loved anyone else in my life and I told him that I love him. I tell it to him every fucking day so he knows and I make sure he feels my love for him.' Anthony raised his eyebrows surprised.

 

'You told him that you love him? You actually said it to him?' Louis rubbed his face with both hands.

 

'I did. I told him and I show it to him in all the ways I can. I'm in love with him Anthony and it is a struggle to live with what I did to him. Every time he undresses I see the marks I left on him, the scars and I want to make it all better for him so much but I don't know how or what to do, how to help him. I want him to heal. I know I took something from him and only God knows I didn't mean it but I did it and we are both living with it. Its the big fucking elephant in our relationship. I made a horrible mistake and maybe I should be punished for it. Maybe I should go to the authorities and tell them what I have done. Maybe that will help Harry. Maybe if I get punished for what I did......maybe he will...' Louis stopped.

 

'If you do that, he will only beat himself up for it even more. Louis, listen to me. Going to the authorities will do nothing to help Harry. He will panic and blame himself even more for what happened and blame himself for you being incriminated. Plus, he won't be without you so be rational. You are being punished for what you did. You are watching the man you love live in torment while he's being strong for you and hiding it from you to not make you feel bad for it and you having to watch this is more than punishment for you. You are both hurting in different ways and you are joined by this pain. You need to over come it together.'

 

'So what do I do?' Louis asked him helplessly.

 

'Be ready for him when he's ready to face it. Be ready for whatever the outcome will be. Be ready for however he feels fit to deal with it when it's time. Be prepared for anything Louis. What's inside him will eventually come out and you have to be ready for it. Whichever path Harry decides to take that will lead him to healing, you will have to accept it. Maybe you will even have to accept the fact that he will leave you. You are his aggressor but you are also the man he loves and some people may not understand the dynamic between the two of you but these things do happen. It's far more common than people care to believe. I have had cases where a person is hurt physically or mentally or even both by the person they love and despite what others may say, its not easy to leave them or unlove them. Its hard to love the person who hurts you but it happens Louis so you two are not the only ones that are going through this. People deal with situations how they see fit and you are trying and Harry is trying and that is something.'

 

'What more can I do to help him?' Louis asked him.

 

'Never stop making him feel loved. If he feels safe enough, if he feels loved enough, maybe, just maybe he will come out and deal with this. It's all about when he feels ready for it Louis. Just give him a safe place, make him feel safe and loved. Assure him that you will never put him in any danger.'

 

'What if he never comes to terms with it?' Louis asked him quietly. Anthony sighed.

 

'Let's hope he will. For his sanity, lets hope he will.'

 

 

x

 

 

Over the following days, Louis and Harry settled down in a comfortable routine. Things had settled down and they started living out their relationship. Louis made sure Harry was well taken care of and that he was happy and loved. Leonard had sorted out all of Harry's engagements, politely declining all invitations that Harry kept on receiving. But Harry was content in his studies, in his assignments and being loved by Louis. All was peace and love in the Tomlinson home.

 

Needless to say, Louis was happy. He had never been happier and this new life of his was beyond his wildest dreams. He had never imagined he could love someone with this intensity or dedicate himself so wholly to one person. He adored Harry. He loved having him around and he loved their sex life. Harry was all up for trying new things and his sex drive was endless. He never said no to Louis. And Louis never said no to him. He never pushed him further than Harry could go, only testing boundaries when Harry allowed him to and Harry always let Louis lead him to new experiences.

 

Since Marc had introduced him to the world of sex toys, a new world had opened up for Louis though not completely. His urges where still there and it had been a while since he had used his basement. Harry kept him sexually active enough to not dwell too much on it but it was there like a sleeping dragon waiting to be awakened. He needed it. He knew he would never hurt Harry and there were times during their lovemaking where he had been a little aggressive but he slowed himself down, calmed himself so as not to hurt Harry even though Harry had never used the safe word. Harry knew what Louis needed and he had whispered to him that it was okay but Louis never allowed himself to step out of line.

 

Today Louis left the office a little earlier than usual. It was their 6th month anniversary and he wanted to do something special for Harry. He couldn't believe that they had been together for six months! The night that he had met him at Garlands seemed so far away and now, six months down the line, Louis was so proud of himself for having taken this chance and allowing Harry to roam into his life and nestle into his heart. Being in love was a wonderful thing and he had to admit that it made him a better person.

 

His basement sessions had been few and very far between. When the urges got too bad, he had no choice but to call up one of his boys. Marc always urged him to get it out of his system to keep Harry safe and to do it discreetly so Harry wouldn't know. There was no need for Harry's emotions to be hurt. He had always made sure that Harry was always asleep when his boys entered his basement. Thus far, it was all good and Louis was content that it was working out.

 

As he made his way down in the elevator he made calls for dinner reservations at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant. He wanted to treat Harry. He wanted their sixth month anniversary to be a memorable one. Angus was waiting for him and as soon as Louis got in the car he told Angus to take him to Diamond Heaven in Hatton Garden. He was feeling excited as he was getting Harry a ring. Not an engagement ring obviously! But a ring to commemorate their sixth month together and Louis found it hot to have Harry wear his ring. He had looked at the catalogue of men's rings available and he had chosen the perfect one. A white gold band with 6 inlaid diamonds one for each month. Inside the band, he had them engrave "My Love Always". Louis felt pleased and happy and when he picked up the ring in its red velvet box, he was overcome with emotion and couldn't wait to give it to Harry and see the look on his face as he put it on his finger.

 

On their way home, Louis told Angus to make one more stop at the florists where he picked up a bouquet of two dozen red roses. He felt like such a sap but he really didn't give a fuck. So what if he was a sap? Harry deserved it all. Harry lived for romance, he was a romantic at heart and Louis wanted to give him all the romance in the world. He had obviously asked for help and tips because he knew nothing of romance but he was getting there. He was learning and he wanted to give Harry his happy ever after.

 

When he got home, he quickly made his way upstairs and hid everything in the guest bedroom. Harry was not home yet so it gave Louis some time to set everything up. He had Gerard coming over later to fit them out with a suit. Everything was organized. He went downstairs and straight into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He had hardly sat down to have his drink when Leonard walked in, his face sullen.

 

'Sir can I um have a word?' Leonard told him and Louis picked up by the look on his face that something was wrong.

 

'Is Harry alright?' Louis asked him right away.

 

'Yes. Yes Sir he's fine. I just need to show you something Sir which might upset you.......'

 

'What is it Leonard?' Louis asked him a little anxiously. Cautiously and carefully, Leonard handed him a few daily local newspapers which Louis snatched out of his hands. He opened the first one and froze. He stared and stared at the pictures and headlines and he and couldn't function. He opened the others and they basically all showed the same. He felt as if his body had gone numb from cold, his mind tumbling into the darkness. He got up slowly off the stool, folded the newspapers and looked at Leonard.

 

'I'll be in my study,' he told him quietly and walked away.

 

 

Harry got back from university an hour later and as usual dashed into the kitchen first like he always did looking for Louis. He knew that today he was getting off work early and all day he had been impatient to get home to him. Now that he was here, he wanted to see him, touch him, be near him.

 

'Where is he?' he asked Judy when he saw that the kitchen was empty.

 

'Hello to you too Harry,' Judy told him with a fond smile. Harry grinned at her.

 

'Hi how was your day?' he asked her remembering his manners but he really wanted to see Louis. He was impatient. Judy smiled and shook her head.

 

'It was fine. He's in his study,' Judy informed him, still smiling fondly at him as Harry set off running and skidding towards the study waving at Judy. He opened the door and rushed in but stopped immediately when he saw Louis sitting in his chair behind the desk looking sullen and somber.

 

'Hi,' Harry told him softly, being careful on how to tread with Louis. He didn't look to be in a very good mood. Louis gave him an icy glare which made Harry's blood freeze in his veins.

 

'Sit the fuck down,' Louis hissed. Harry felt fear claw inside of him at Louis' tone and he quickly lowered himself down into the chair opposite the desk. His heart was ramming fast and hard against his ribs. He was searching his mind, thinking if he had done anything wrong but he knew he hadn't. Louis got up off the chair and walked round the desk towards him, picking up one of the newspapers as he moved closer to Harry.

 

'Care to tell me what the fuck is this?' he growled low in his throat as he showed him the newspaper. Again Harry's blood froze in his veins as he looked at the pictures on the front of the newspaper, pictures of Craig picking him up at the University, pictures of him smiling as he got into Craig's car, pictures of the two of them having lunch in Covent Garden, laughing, eating, drinking, the headlines big and screaming out for all the world to see : "Louis Tomlinson's Boyfriend Out on A Lunch Date With Mystery Man." Harry looked up at Louis with big frightened eyes.

 

'I...I can e-explain........'

 

'Can you?' Louis yelled. He picked up another newspaper thrusting in in Harry's face. 'How about you fucking explain this too while you're at it?' The headlines screamed out at Harry : "Is player Louis Tomlinson being played by hunky model boyfriend? Harry Styles out on intimate lunch date." Harry looked at the pictures of him and Craig looking.... intimate? Cosy? Relaxed? His eyes began to blur.

 

'Louis...I...its.....'

 

'Don't you fucking dare tell me its not what I think it is Harry!' Louis screamed at him angrily. Louis felt his heart ache. It hurt, deep inside where his heart was. Louis picked up a copy of The Sun and thrust it at Harry. There were more pictures of him and Craig, walking, eating, laughing. The Sun's headlines seemed to hurt the most. "Is love over for the Tomlinson-Styles couple? Harry out and about with mystery man looking all lovely-dovey."

 

'What the fuck do you think you're doing?' Louis yelled at him, full of rage. By now Harry was in tears. He was terrified and crying and trembling in his chair.

 

'Louis please....I...I....'

 

'Please what Harry? Please fucking what?' he roared as he slammed down the newspapers on the desk. 'Are you fucking cheating on me? Are you fucking seeing him behind my back? How long has this shit been going on?' Harry was frantic. He was crying and worried and he wanted to explain but his words where trapped in the lump that was lodged in his throat.

 

'N-no Louis no please no I...I w-wouldn't do that.....'

 

'Then what the fuck do you call this huh Harry?' he yelled once again showing him the newspapers. Louis looked at the small print and read out to Harry : 'Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson's boyfriend turned model appeared yesterday out and about in London with mystery man enjoying an intimate lunch. Both men looked at ease and relaxed in each other's company. Is Larry Stylinson over?' Louis slammed down the newspaper on his desk forcefully, making Harry jump nearly out of his skin.

 

'You made me the fucking laughing stock of everyone. You are fucking disrespecting me Harry. You go and meet that fucking prick behind my back,' Louis screamed at him and he felt as if he was actually going to cry from the pain assaulting his chest. Harry was looking at him with his big doe eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

'Louis I would never. He-he j-just came to my Uni and- and he-he just w-wanted to t-take me to l-lunch and.....'

 

'Are you fucking him?' Louis roared, his face twisted in anger and pain. 'Are you fucking sleeping with him Harry? And don't you fucking lie to me cos I will find out one way or another!' Harry cried harder. He was terrified.

 

He's going to take me in the basement! He's going to take me in the basement!

 

'N-no no no I'm not Louis please,' Harry sobbed, gripping the arms of the chair tightly till his knuckles were white. Louis ran a hand through his hair. It was their sixth month anniversary. It was supposed to be a special day. A romantic day! He had planned so much and here he was being broken. It hurt. Fuck this hurt!

 

'I trusted you!' Louis yelled. 'I fucking trusted you and this is how you repay me? By going to lunch and getting yourself and me in the fucking tabloids? By letting them write this shit about me when you know how I value my personal life? By making me fucking vulnerable and a topic of discussion? I fucking told you to be aware of paps Harry. I warned you about them but you have no fucking respect what so ever. You don't fucking listen.' Harry sat sobbing in the chair, his crying racking his chest.

 

'Louis I love you. That is nothing please believe me. He- he's just a friend. Its you I love Louis please believe me. I-I would never....' Harry begged him hysterically. He was sobbing uncontrollably and he couldn't see Louis clearly through the tears. Louis looked at him and felt his heartbreaking in his chest. His beloved boy with another man! Harry's eyes were looking right into him, full of tears but Louis was hurting too much to feel anything for him at that moment other than anger and pure rage. He felt betrayed. For the first time in his life, he was feeling things he had never felt before : used, vulnerable, hurt, jealous and broken.

 

'Get the fuck out of my study. I can hardly stand to look at you right now,' Louis growled not wanting to cry in front of him. He would be damned if he let Harry see him cry over him like a love sick puppy. Harry stood up and took a step towards him.

 

'Don't send me away Louis please. Let me make this right. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. He means nothing to me. It's just you. Please Louis,' Harry pleaded, choking on his sobs. Louis took a step backwards away from Harry.

 

'Get the fuck out of my sight Harry. Leave. Get out!' he screamed at him like a mad man. 'Get the fuck out!' Harry choked on his tears.

 

'Louis please,' he whispered not wanting to leave before he could fix this mess that he had created but Louis wanted him gone. How could he have fucked this up so badly?

 

'Leave!' Louis yelled again. 'Just leave. Get the fuck out of my face!' His voice broke a little and he closed his eyes hoping Harry would just leave because he could feel the tears coming. Harry gave him another look then turned around and walked out, closing the door softly behind him.

 

'Fuck!!!' Louis screamed when he was alone. 'Fuck this shit!!' With a swipe of his arm he cleared all the things off his desk sending everything crashing to the ground. He picked up a paper weight and hurled it towards the book shelves, smashing it into a vase, the sound of broken glass echoing all around the big room. Louis sat down in his chair heavily and covered his face and it was only then that he realized that he was indeed crying. Louis couldn't remember the last time he had cried and here he was reduced to tears because the man that he loved had been out with another man.

 

'Fuck,' he said softly choking back his sobs. 'What's the point in love when it fucking hurts so bad?' he told himself. 'What's the fucking use of loving somebody when they're only out to break you? What's the fucking point in love when you have to eventually give it up?' Louis felt his heart break in his chest. It was a first. It hurt and he didn't like it. He quickly wiped his tears away and took in a few deep breaths to calm himself down. When he was calm enough, he exited his study and walked towards the kitchen. He found Leonard there.

 

'Cancel my dinner reservations for tonight and call Angus. I'm going out,' he informed him. Leonard just nodded and in five minutes, Louis was seated in the back of his Bentley.

 

'Where to Sir?' Angus asked him.

 

'Garlands,' Louis replied as he settled back in the seat.

 

 

As soon as Louis entered Garlands he was greeted by a very surprised Adam.

 

'Oh my God Mr. Tomlinson long time no see,' Adam exclaimed as he saw him walk towards the bar. Louis scowled at him.

 

'Tone down on the fucking theatrics. I need a drink,' he told him as he sat on a bar stool. The bar man asked him what he was having. 'A bottle of your finest scotch,' Louis told him. The barman looked at Adam and Adam simply nodded at him. The bottle was brought to him and Louis poured himself a drink which he swallowed in one gulp.

 

'Trouble in paradise?' Adam asked him leaning his elbow on the bar and taking a sip out of his own drink.

 

'Fuck off,' Louis replied as he poured himself another shot and knocked it back. Adam pursed his lips.

 

'Where's Harry? Tired of him already?' he asked him, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

'Which part of fuck off didn't you get?' Louis asked him and Adam smiled but dropped it. He knew better than to piss him off.

 

'Can I be of service?' he asked him. Louis got up off the stool and grabbed the bottle.

 

'Send me one of mine to VIP,' he ordered. 'Now!'

 

As he made his way up to VIP, Zayn was just going on stage and he saw him going up there and it confused him because he hadn't seen Louis in here ever since he'd been with Harry.

 

Shortly after Louis entered the VIP, there was a knock on the door and Patrick walked in wearing nothing but a thong. Louis didn't even look at him as he continued to down whiskey. He wanted to get hammered. He wanted to forget the pain in his chest. He wanted to forget Harry. Fuck Harry and the love he felt for him. Fuck his green doe eyes and fuck his long curly hair! Fuck him to hell!

 

Think about what you're doing!

 

But Louis was way past thinking. It hurt to see Harry with that piece of shit. Harry had no right to go off to lunch with that mother fucker and not even tell him!

 

He didn't do anything! He just went to lunch! It's what people do with their friends.

 

His subconscious was trying to make its way through to Louis, past the alcohol fogging up his brain but Louis wasn't listening.

 

'Strip,' he ordered and Patrick was quick to obey him. When Patrick was naked he walked over to Louis and got down on his knees between his legs. He began palming Louis' dick over his trousers. Louis closed his eyes and leaned back letting Patrick touch him. He didn't want to think about Harry's hands on him!

 

Don't do this! You're in a relationship! Don't cheat on him. Go home to him!

 

Louis downed another whiskey. 'Take off my belt,' he ordered and Patrick undid his belt and pulled it out of the loops. Louis stood up, a little unsteady on his feet. 'Hands and knees,' he ordered again and Patrick got on all fours. When his ass was facing Louis, Louis grabbed the belt and rained down all his sadness and frustrations on Patrick. He imagined it was Harry that was before him getting the beating because he fucking deserved it. He fucking deserved to be beaten!

 

He doesn't! You are way out of line here. Remember the last time you beat him. It will not happen again!!! You are just hurt and its okay. What you're feeling is because you love him so much. Go home.

 

Louis ignored his subconscious and continued to beat Patrick, tears falling from his eyes because he was mad and angry and hurt. So very hurt. When his arm began to ache, he let the belt fall to the floor and unzipped his pants pulling himself out.

 

If you fuck this boy, you lose everything that you have worked for for all this time. You will lose Harry. Once your anger ebbs away, you will be sorry you cheated and fucked this boy. Think about it! Go home to Harry!

 

Louis remained stock still looking at Patrick's red ass waiting for him to enter him. He took a step closer to Patrick, his hand on his dick, positioning himself at Patrick's entrance.

 

Don't do it. You will regret it. Go home and sort it out with Harry like a man. He is your partner. You don't get to cheat on him because of some pictures in the newspaper. Yes, he hurt your ego but do not let your ego get in the way of the love you feel for him. What's more worth it? Harry and the love you share or your ego? If its your ego then go ahead and fuck this boy but if you truly love him, you will stop this nonsense and go home to him.

 

'Leave,' Louis said softly, feeling defeated.

 

'Excuse me?' Patrick asked not sure if he had understood him right.

 

'Leave. Now,' Louis told him, sounding beaten even to his own ears. He turned away from Patrick not wanting him to see the tears in his eyes or the tracks they had left on his cheeks as he tucked himself back into his pants. Louis sat back down on the couch, pouring himself another drink. He couldn't believe that Harry had control of him! He couldn't believe that Harry held him in the palm of his hand and he was helpless to do anything about it.

 

 

Harry was in a state of panic. He hadn't stopped crying since he left the study. He knew that Louis had left because he had been at the top of the stairs when he had heard him leave. He was sitting in their bedroom which he hadn't left for the past two hours. That was how long Louis had been gone and Harry felt terrified. Louis had been so mad at him, so angry and Harry was terrified of him when he was like that. He knew that it was all his fault. He should've told him that the day before yesterday Craig had messaged him and asked him out to lunch to catch up. But Harry didn't think it was such a big deal. He and Craig where just friends besides their patient/doctor relationship. There was nothing at all between them and Harry didn't think anything of it. Why would Louis even think he was cheating on him?

 

He had totally forgotten about the paps and that now that he was dating Louis they would be hanging out everywhere. Still, he didn't think it would be that big of a deal. The stories they made up where untrue. Craig was just his friend and what they printed was all lies. Nothing but lies that Louis seemed to believe. Why would he believe anything printed in the tabloids Harry wondered. Didn't Louis know that he was the love of his life, the love of his entire existence? That Louis was his sun and moon and stars and the entire solar system? Couldn't Louis see that nobody could compare to him and nobody could possible take him away from Louis? Why would Louis believe these lies?

 

His phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts. He quickly picked it up thinking it was Louis but was surprised to see that it was Zayn calling. Harry swiped his phone and answered.

 

'Hey Zayn,' Harry greeted him trying to sound cheerful which he knew he was failing miserably at.

 

'Harry are you alright?' Zayn asked him and Harry was a little surprised to hear Zayn's worried voice.

 

'Yeah I'm alright. Why?' Harry asked him. There was a moment of silence.

 

'Because I just saw Louis here at Garlands and he requested VIP,' Zayn told him. At those words, Harry felt his heart shatter. His Louis had gone to Garlands to find another man!! His Louis was going to fuck somebody else and it was all his damn stupid fault!

 

'Harry are you there?' Zayn asked but Harry couldn't speak. His throat was closed up and the tears were just falling from his eyes. 'Harry?'

 

'I...I have t-to go....'

 

'Harry wait,' Zayn said but Harry hung up. He got up off the bed and slid down the wall till he sat down on the floor, pulled his knees to his chest and cried. He had ruined everything. He had driven Louis to Garlands into the arms of one of his boys. It was all his fault. He had been stupid and he had ruined everything.

 

Harry's heart almost skipped out of his chest when the bedroom door opened and Louis walked in. He staggered in a bit and Harry could tell that he had been drinking. His tie was askew and his hair was a mess. Louis closed the door behind him just as Harry got up on shaky legs, standing there in nothing but his boxers.

 

'Louis,' he whispered in a broken voice.

 

'Don't,' Louis hissed at him, making Harry recoil from him. He watched him stumble into the bathroom and close the door behind him. Harry quickly removed the duvet off the bed, knowing that Louis would want to sleep as soon as he came out of the bathroom. Harry paced the room impatiently and a little bit scared. Would Louis want to take him into the basement again? Harry fidgeted with his fingers trying to mentally prepare himself if that was what Louis wanted. He deserved the punishment. He deserved anything that Louis handed out to him.

 

Harry went into pieces when he heard the shower come on in the bathroom. Knowing that Louis had just fucked somebody else and was in there washing them off of him made Harry ache in a horrible way but he couldn't blame this one on Louis. This was all his doing. He placed his fist against his mouth so that Louis would not hear his sobs.

 

After a while the door opened and Louis walked out in just his boxers looking a little bit more sober. He didn't acknowledge Harry's presence at all but just walked to his side of the bed and sat down heavily. He took a drink of water and sat back on the bed, his back against the headboard, the pillows behind his back. Harry stood there not knowing what to do until he finally decided that he had to make things right even though he was breaking inside at the thought of Louis being with another man. Harry walked into the closet then walked over to Louis and stood beside his bed. He extended his shaking hand towards him and handed Louis a belt. Louis looked up at him with questioning eyes.

 

'I deserve it,' Harry told him softly. 'I deserve the punishment for what I did.' Louis looked at the belt then back up at Harry who was looking down, subdued. Louis was considering it.

 

Don't you even think about it! You will not harm him. Remember the promises you made to him.

 

Louis took the belt from Harry's trembling fingers and fondled the Gucci leather belt thoughtfully. Harry kept looking down waiting for Louis to get up and use the belt on him. Louis threw the belt across the room, the belt hitting the wall then falling with a thump to the carpet. He wanted the damn thing as far away from him as possible before he actually used it on Harry.

 

'I will never beat you again,' he said quietly. 'No matter what you do. This is not something I do for punishments. Don't ever tempt me like that again.' Harry felt his eyes fill with tears again.

 

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, his lower lip trembling. Louis was mad at him, so so mad at him but the love inside him for Harry was bigger and much more dominant than any other feeling inside of him. Louis took his hand and tugged on it.

 

'Come here,' he told him indicating his lap. Harry looked at him a little confused but straddled Louis' hips.

 

'I'm so mad at you right now,' Louis told him. 'I'm feeling so many things that I'm losing control Harry.' Harry chewed on his bottom lip.

 

'You should be mad at me but I didn't cheat on you Louis I swear I didn't,' Harry told him, hiccuping on a sob. Louis ran his hands up Harry's bare thighs.

 

'I hate seeing you with somebody else Harry. I told you I am a very selfish man. I don't share. I won't fucking share you,' he told him. Harry cupped his face in both his hands.

 

'You are not sharing me. I'm yours. Just yours. I swear Louis. Please believe me,' Harry begged him as more tears fell from his eyes.

 

'So why didn't you tell me you went to lunch with him?' Louis questioned him.

 

'It slipped my mind. It wasn't that important,' Harry told him. 'You are the only important person in my life Louis. The only one.' Louis sighed heavily.

 

'Don't do it again,' he told him in a stern voice.

 

'I won't.'

 

'I went to Garlands,' Louis told him. Harry bit his lip, not wanting to tell him that he already knew because he didn't want to expose Zayn and get him in trouble. Harry kept his lips firmly together bracing himself to hear Louis confess that he had cheated on him. His heart was ramming hard in his chest. Louis kept his hands on Harry's thighs. 'I drank and I...'

 

'Its alright,' Harry told him, not really wanting to hear how he fucked another man. 'I...I know you need them...your boys I mean and I deserve to be cheated on.'

 

'What?' Louis asked him surprised. Harry looked down avoiding Louis' eyes.

 

'Its alright Lou,' Harry whispered.

 

'Harry I didn't fucking cheat on you. I nearly did but I...' he paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'I didn't have the heart. I'm too much in love with you to fuck another man.' For a few minutes there was silence between them, each one looking at the other. Louis was feeling too much, the emotions inside of him making him tremble and fighting to get out.

 

This is Harry, the man you love and the man who loves you. You can let your guard down with him. Its alright to be vulnerable with him. Let it go.

 

Louis felt a lump in his throat choking him. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer, placing his cheek against Harry's chest, the thump thumping of his heart echoing in Louis' ear. He felt Harry's arms go around him, one of his hands going to his hair. Harry held him close.

 

'Don't ever do that to me again,' Louis whispered. 'It hurt me so much. It drove me crazy with jealousy. I felt as if I wanted to die seeing you with him, laughing the same laugh you laugh with me, giving him the smile you give to me. I can't have that. Please Harry don't hurt me. I don't want to hurt any more. Please.' Harry was shocked by Louis' words, stunned that Louis was making himself vulnerable to him, showing his weak side. Louis tightened his arms around Harry's waist and continued:

 

'I'm terrified of losing you. I'm terrified you will find somebody better than me Harry. I love you so much. Just please don't put me through that again,' Louis told him, his voice choked up. Harry felt the tears well up in his eyes again. He hugged Louis tighter to him.

 

'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you Louis. I'm yours. For keeps. For ever. You're never going to lose me because you are right where I want to be. I love you so much.' Harry lifted Louis' face, he bent down and kissed him, softly at first but soon Harry was asking for entrance into Louis' mouth and as soon as Louis parted his lips, Harry slipped his tongue into Louis' mouth and dominated him. Harry deepened the kiss, kissing him deep and hard and long as if wanting to put all his love into it, into that sole kiss and convey to Louis all that he was feeling inside of him. He rolled his hips over Louis, never breaking the kiss, loving the feel of Louis' semi hard dick against his own.

 

'I love you Louis,' Harry said into Louis' mouth. 'Never doubt my love for you.' Harry felt Louis' fingers dig into his hips, deep and hard, making Harry wince but he continued to roll his hips over Louis, rutting against him. Louis pulled back and looked up at Harry.

 

'Lie down. One your back,' he ordered but Harry shook his head at him.

 

'No Lou. Let me take care of you. Please. Let me be in control tonight.' Louis gulped.

 

'Harry I....'

 

'Please Lou,' Harry interrupted him. Louis felt confused and conflicted. How was he to give his control over? He never let anyone have any sort of control over him, not in life and especially not during sex and Harry was asking for control?

 

'Harry I can't,' he said softly. 'I...I don't know how to not be in control. I've never not been in control.' Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'Just relax and let me take care of you. Let me do the work for once. I just want you to....'

 

'I'm not bottoming Harry,' Louis told him sternly. Harry caressed his face.

 

'I know and I'm not asking you to. It wasn't even on my mind. Please trust me. Let me Lou,' Harry begged him. Louis seemed to be hesitating, thinking through his foggy alcohol laced brain. He wasn't totally drunk but his mind was hazy. Harry was asking him to give him control. Could he even do that? Did he know how to do that? Harry saw the hesitation flitting across his face.

 

'You don't always have to take care of me Lou. You don't always have to be in charge of everything all the time. You need somebody to take care of you too and I want to do that...baby,' Harry said testing to see if he was allowed to call him sweet nicknames. When Louis didn't scold him, Harry said: 'Give yourself to me Louis. Don't be afraid.' Louis looked into Harry's eyes, his eyes sad and soft.

 

'I don't know how Harry. If I lose my control, I have nothing left. You have already taken most of it....and now you're asking me to...I'm scared,' Louis admitted.

 

That's it. Talk to him. Be honest with him.

 

'Don't be scared. Not of me,' Harry assured him, still stroking his cheeks ever so softly. 'You can trust me.'

 

'Control during sex is what I mostly have left,' Louis said in a low voice.

 

'I just want you to give it to me for once love. It must be tiring to always be in charge and in control. Let go a little. Let me handle your burden for a while. Submit yourself to me Lou,' Harry told him as he leaned forward and took Louis' earlobe in between his lips and sucked on it, flicking his tongue round the shell of Louis' ear, making Louis groan and shiver slightly. Again, Harry felt Louis' fingers dig deep into the soft flesh of his hips, hard and strong. Harry kept grinding his hips slowly down on Louis, licking his ear and kissing down his jaw and neck. Louis closed his eyes and enjoyed Harry's expert mouth on him.

 

'Do I have control?' Harry asked him, his wet lips brushing against Louis' neck, his hot breath making goosebumps break out all over Louis' flushed skin. Harry sucked at the skin beneath Louis' ear.

 

Give it to him. Give him control. Let him take care of you. Trust him.

 

'Y-yes,' Louis whispered, barely able to form the word. Harry smiled against his skin. He was no expert when it came to sex but he wanted to please Louis. He wanted him to relax and not do all the work for once. Harry had seen enough porn to know what he wanted to do.

 

He got up off Louis and took off his boxers. Louis felt himself harden even more as he looked at his beautiful boy, naked and pale, his dick hard and ready. Harry leaned over Louis and hooked his fingers inside the waistband of Louis' boxers.

 

'Lift,' he said with a little hint of authority in his voice which Louis found rather hot. He lifted his hips off the bed and allowed Harry to peel off his boxers. When they were off, leaving both Louis and Harry naked, Harry climbed back on top of Louis straddling his hips. Louis felt a little bit panicked being the one underneath but he calmed down when he felt Harry's hard dick against his own and his bare ass on his thighs. His fingers went to Harry's bum and he kneaded the soft flesh, spreading his cheeks apart and rutting up against him. Louis was already leaking at the tip so it made the slide easier and smoother.

 

'God Harry,' he whispered, closing his eyes and throwing his head back resting it against the headboard. Harry moved slowly in Louis' lap, kissing his neck, biting, licking and leaving marks as he went. If Louis could mark him, so could he. Louis continued to rut up against Harry's bum, thrusting his hips up slowly as Harry ground down on him. Louis sighed deeply and heavily.

 

Harry reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube from the drawer. He opened it and poured a generous amount in the palm of his hand. He then moved further down on Louis, now straddling his thighs. Louis looked at him and scowled.

 

'Why d'you move?'

 

'Shsh I'm in charge remember,' he told him as he took Louis' dick in his fist and pumped him agonizingly slow, coating him with lube. Louis groaned deep in his throat.

 

'Fuck,' he hissed. When Harry was done, he positioned himself over Louis' hips once again, earning him a questioning look from Louis. Harry looked him deep in his eyes.

 

'I'm gonna ride you,' he told him softly, his cheeks flushing pink and Louis wondered how the fuck could he even blush when he was there, straddling him, naked and ready to ride his dick like the fucking Lone Ranger! Louis cleared his throat which had suddenly gone too dry.

 

'Do you know how?' he asked him. 'I mean we've never done it this way before,' he explained not wanting Harry to change his mind. Harry gave him a shy smile.

 

'New memories right?' Harry told him as he ran his hands up Louis' chest. 'Besides, I googled how its done.' Louis gave him a smile.

 

'You mean you watched porn.' Harry nodded and Louis squeezed his thighs. 'Show me what you learned then.' Harry reached behind him for Louis' dick placing him at his entrance.

 

'Wait,' Louis stopped him. 'I have to prep you.' Harry shook his head.

 

'No. It will feel better if I'm not prepped.' Louis caressed his thighs.

 

'It will hurt,' he told him quietly.

 

'It will be alright,' Harry told him. 'Trust me.' Ever so slowly he began to slide down taking Louis in. Louis' head breached Harry's tight hole.

 

'God fuck Harry,' Louis groaned as he grabbed him tightly by the hips. 'Fuck you're so damn fucking tight!' Harry bit his lower lip and continued to take in Louis slowly. It did hurt a bit without prep but the burn and stretch was pleasurable and he loved how Louis was entering him ever so tightly. Harry hissed as he slid down the thicker part of Louis' dick, stretching him further apart.

 

 

'Alright baby?' Louis asked him breathlessly. He watched Harry's face, the pleasure and pain on it. Having Harry like this was amazing. It felt different and hotter.

 

'Hmmm,' was all Harry could utter as he slid down another inch. Louis held still, resisting the urge to thrust up into Harry. He didn't want to hurt him and besides, Harry was the one in control here so he had to let him do it his way.

 

As soon as Harry bottomed out and Louis was fully sheathed inside him, Harry let out a breath, relaxing himself. Harry opened his eyes and looked down at Louis who was looking up at him as if he was some miraculous apparition.

 

'You're so beautiful,' Louis whispered. Harry moved his hips slightly forward testing waters. Louis filled him up pretty good! He was very tight inside of him. Harry rocked forwards slowly, earning a long drawn "ahhhhhh" from Louis. Harry took Louis' hand and placed it on his tummy, just below his navel where a small bulge could be seen.

 

'Can you feel yourself inside of me?' Harry asked him. Louis could actually feel the little bump beneath his palm, his dick pushing up inside Harry's tummy. His eyes widened as he met Harry's green eyes.

 

'Yeah I can. Fuck this is so hot Harry. I....never before....fuck!' Harry pressed down his hand on Louis' hand thus making Louis put pressure on his own dick inside Harry and the feeling was indescribable.

 

'Oh God God Harry,' Louis moaned. Harry did it again this time applying a little more pressure making Louis gasp. 'I'm gonna come like this Harry,' he hissed, his voice full of pure raw pleasure.

 

'Oh no you don't,' Harry told him as he took both of Louis' hands and laced his fingers through them, raising both arms above Louis' head and resting them back on the headboard. Louis looked up at him feeling a little helpless.

 

'I can't touch you like this baby,' he told him a little disappointed.

 

'That's the point,' Harry replied as he began to move forwards and backwards, rocking on Louis' dick. Louis closed his eyes loving the feeling of Harry working his dick. He had never had it like this before and he had to admit that the position was very hot. This was him being a bottom with bottoming. At first it unnerved him to feel trapped and unable to move but for once his subconscious had been helpful and kept reminding him that it was Harry...Harry...Harry and he managed to relax beneath him. He loved how Harry was rocking himself faster and clenching his ass cheeks to keep him inside. Louis never thanked God for porn before but he reckoned that now was the time to do it and thank God for Harry for being a fast learner!

 

Louis opened his eyes to find himself looking at a panting, sweating Harry above him, frantically working his hips, rocking back and forth and grinding down on Louis. Louis tried to free his hands, tugging in Harry's grip because God he wanted to plant his grip on Harry's hips and ram up inside him but Harry tightened his hold tighter on Louis' fingers, putting more of his weight into the grip he had on Louis' hands. Louis was surprised by the physical strength that Harry was displaying, by the way he was holding him down by pinning his arms above his head and pinning his lower half beneath his weight. Louis could hardly thrust his hips up! He became highly aware that he had no control whatsoever and that he was completely at Harry's mercy.

 

Harry continued to drive himself fast and hard over Louis, taking him in deeper and deeper, his thigh muscles straining with the effort but he wasn't going to stop. Louis was panting equally hard and fast, his whole body feeling as if it was on the verge of combusting. Just then Harry let his head drop back onto his shoulders and he let out the filthiest, dirtiest moan Louis had ever heard leaving his sinful lips and he knew that Harry had hit his sweet spot.

 

'Oh God oh God fuck Louis ohhh fucking hell,' Harry moaned out curses and Louis' name as he worked his hips sloppily over Louis' dick. He was rocking back and forth and grinding down on Louis, then bouncing up and down, his hips working on their own accord, his thighs burning. Louis grit his teeth together as Harry tightened his hold on Louis and his thighs became like a vice around Louis as he continued to fuck down on him.

 

'Harry fuck Jesus Christ I'm close. So fucking close don't stop baby. Keep going my love fuck oh God,' Louis urged him on. Harry was a mess, his curls where everywhere, his body had a sheen of sweat covering every inch of his naked skin, his lips parted as he panted breathlessly, little"ugh ugh ugh" leaving his mouth. Louis had never felt so in love with him as he did right in that moment and seeing him that way, it occurred to him that it would kill him to see him this way with another man, to think that Harry would show this side of him to another man, that another man would get to see him like this, to make him fall apart this way. It hurt Louis to the core of him to just think about it and when he remembered those picture of Harry and Craig, it made him feel like crying. Harry was his. Will always be his.

 

'Mine,' Louis growled at him.

 

'Yours,' Harry panted.

 

'You belong to me remember that,' Louis told him, his breathing uneven. Harry moaned.

 

'I'm yours Lou. Always. Just yours I promise,' Harry told him as he pushed himself down harder on Louis.

 

'Don't ever....ahhhh don't ever let me ahhh fuck Harry...catch you with another man....don't stop baby...you're mine.....fuckkkkk.....just mine.'

 

'Y-yours Lou...just yours....only yours,' Harry promised him. And then Louis felt him begin to shake, his hips stuttering as Harry came hard on Louis' chest and tummy, spurting his hot cum all over Louis. When Louis felt him clench around his dick so hard and felt Harry's cum all over him, he exploded inside of Harry, filling him up to the brim. Harry threw his head back as he continued to come over Louis, all the while milking Louis, pulling his orgasm and enjoying the feeling of being filled up by Louis. Both of them were whining each other's names and when Harry finally stopped moving, he let go of Louis' hands and plopped forward on top of Louis. Their hears beat furiously together, both out of breath, sweaty and shaking. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him close to him. He placed kisses on his head and forehead.

 

'My baby,' he whispered to him. 'My beautiful baby.'

 

'I love you,' Harry panted. Louis smiled and ran his hands up and down Harry's back.

 

'That was some make up sex. You've blown me away. We should fight more often if you come up with this kind of sex.' Harry raised his head and placed his chin on Louis' chest and looked at him, his face serious.

 

'Let's not. I hate fighting with you. It makes me sad. When you get angry.....'

 

'I scare you?' Louis interrupted him.

 

'No, well yeah you do,' Harry told him quietly. 'But when you get angry I lose this soft Louis and you become another Louis and I rather like this Louis so please let's not fight.'

 

'I'm sorry I went off on you like that. When I saw those pictures I lost my shit. I didn't know what to think. I told you I'm a selfish man Harry and I won't fucking share you with anyone.' Harry caressed his face.

 

'I know that and I am sorry for not telling you I went to lunch with Craig....'

 

'Don't mention him while we are in post coital bliss.' Harry smiled.

 

'Alright. Just please Louis trust me a little. I would never dream of cheating on you. You are the love of my life and that comes along once in a lifetime. You are my once in a life time, my happy ever after. There is nobody I could ever want more than I want you and I am sorry I hurt you. I won't do it again. I promise.' With one swift movement, Louis rolled them over and he was now on top of Harry, looking down into his beautiful face. Harry wrapped his legs around Louis' waist. Louis moved his stray curls away from his face.

 

'Don't ever make me feel like that again Harry,' he told him in a small voice but the warning wasn't lost on Harry. 'I didn't like it. It hurt and I.....' he paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He didn't want to think about his past, not now, especially not in this moment and he wasn't really ready to tell Harry about his past. God knows he wanted to but he was afraid of losing him. Louis looked into Harry's eyes and carded his fingers though Harry's soft curls, tugging softly. 'I don't want to hurt any more Harry. I've been hurt for two, maybe three lifetimes and I....I...' Harry pulled him down and kissed him softly, no tongue just their lips moving against each other. He didn't want Louis to go down that road when he wasn't ready to travel it yet.

 

'I got you Lou,' Harry said against his lips. 'You're safe with me. I swear to you. I would never intentionally hurt you. Ever.' Louis looked into his eyes believing his promise without a hint of doubt in his mind. He leaned down and kissed him with all the love inside of him. He felt Harry tremble beneath him. He knew Harry was ready for him if Louis so much as desired to fuck him again but he knew that the love they just made had taken a lot out of Harry and the boy was drained. Louis placed a kiss on his nose.

 

'You top wonderfully,' he told him. 'Pity I don't bottom.' Harry smiled at him lazily, his eyes heavy lidded from sleep.

 

'Anything to please you Sir,' he whispered.

 

'Hmmm,' Louis moaned as he nuzzled Harry's neck with his nose, inhaling his manly musky smell. 'I love it when you call me Sir,' he purred against Harry's hot sweaty skin. Harry closed his eyes, feeling goosebumps break out all over his body. He felt exhausted but if Louis wanted another round of sexual activities he was up for it. He just needed a little rest then he was good to go again. Louis raised his head and looked down into his green eyes.

 

'Tired sweetheart?'

 

'Yes,' Harry replied, his voice slow and heavy. He was so limp and pliant that he reminded Louis of a baby sloth. Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'Okay then how about we shower and sleep hmmm? We're too sticky to go to bed like this.'

 

'Good idea,' Harry agreed, 'unless of course you want to go again?' he asked him quirking a questioning eyebrow at Louis. Louis chuckled.

 

'Haven't had enough of me yet?'

 

'Never,' Harry told him giving him the fondest smile ever and Louis felt his heart grow.

 

'Get your pretty ass in the shower! You're half asleep and I would want you awake and alert when I make love to you,' Louis chided him playfully as he got up off Harry and held out his hand to him which Harry took and Louis tugged him up. Harry stood up on shaky legs and let Louis aid him as he walked a little unsteadily towards the bathroom. Their shower was a quick and soon they were both back in their bedroom wearing nothing but boxers.

 

'I'll change the sheets,' Harry said as he went to get a fresh pair from the dresser. Louis walked towards him and pecked his lips.

 

'Alright love. Be right back. There's something I forgot to get,' he told him as he walked towards the door, taking his phone off the bedside table. Once he was outside the bedroom he walked towards the guest room. When he was safely inside and sure that he was clear out of ear shot, he swiped his phone and tapped a contact. After a few rings, his call was answered.

 

'Hi Morrison, sorry to call you so late but I need you to do a little job for me. I want a back ground check on a certain Dr. Craig Blake. I want everything there is on him. I also want surveillance. I want to know whenever he approaches Harry, whenever he calls Harry or contacts him in any way or form. You got that? I need a file on my desk in the next twenty four hours. I need to know everything about this asshole even slight misdemeanors. Anything. And I want him kept away from Harry. Are we understood?'

 

Louis hung up and took in a deep breath. He will show that piece of shit not to mess with him and get close to his boy! Craig fucking Blake had no idea who he was dealing with. He was stepping in his territory, taking liberties with Harry that were clearly not his to take and Louis could not allow that. Fucking Craig had to be put in his place.

 

Louis picked up the box containing the ring he had bought for Harry and headed back towards their bedroom determined to seal his relationship with Harry. When he entered the room, the lights had been dimmed down low and Harry was already under the duvet cuddled up in it like a burrito which Louis found totally adorable. His doe eyes were heavy with sleep but Harry smiled as soon as Louis stepped into the room.

 

'I've been waiting for you,' Harry told him sleepily. 'Can't sleep till you're spooning me.'

 

Louis smiled fondly at him and got into bed beside him, throwing the duvet over their heads so they were like beneath a tent made up of blankets.

 

'Harry,' Louis said in a rather serious tone which made Harry perk up from his sleepy state and pay attention to Louis.

 

'What is it Lou?' he asked him. Louis licked his lips nervously.

 

'I um just want to tell you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me like literally but you probably already know that. I know I'm not the easiest man to love or live with.' Louis paused and kept his eyes on Harry gauging his reaction to what he was saying. He swallowed then continued:

 

'I know you know I have secrets, secrets I cannot yet share with you but I want to thank you for accepting me and loving me just as I am even with all my...faults which are many. You manage to over look them and still love me. For that I thank you and I feel very lucky to have found someone like you who sees past my flaws. I am trying my hardest to be the best possible partner for you because you deserve only the best and I want to be the best for you.'

 

Louis paused again and was surprised to find that his hands were shaking when he opened the small red velvet box and presented the ring to Harry. He heard Harry gasp.

 

'Harry will you wear my ring? Will you seal the deal on our relationship officially by wearing my ring?'

 

Harry's eyes went wide, all sleep gone and forgotten. He sat up and threw the duvet off of them. He looked from the ring to Louis' face then back to the ring again. Louis sat up too, feeling a little unsure about Harry's reaction. What if he said no? He wasn't prepared for a no! Harry put both hands on his mouth.

 

'Oh my God Louis! Oh my fucking God! Yes of course. Yes what the fuck! I'll be honored to wear your ring and I'll wear it proudly. Oh my God Lou!' Harry gushed, his eyes welling up.

 

'Yeah?' Louis asked him happily, his face shining brighter than the sun.

 

'Yes yes fuck yes!!!' Harry squealed happily as Louis took the ring out of the box and slipped it on Harry's ring finger on his right hand. It fit him perfectly. Harry looked down at the ring and kissed it, then leaned forward and kissed Louis.

 

'Its beautiful just like you. I love you love of my life,' Harry told him, peppering his face with kisses. Louis laughed happily.

 

'Happy six months together baby. Let's take it to the one year mark shall we?' Louis asked him.

 

'Happy six months,' Harry whispered as he pulled Louis down on top of him. 'This calls for celebration love making. Round two?' he asked Louis. Louis' eyes gleamed with love and affection for his boy.

 

'Round two it is and this time I'm in control,' he growled playfully into Harry's neck as the younger boy wrapped himself around Louis ready to take his man.

 

Coming soon Chapter 19......................


	19. Don't Look Back In Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forever grateful for you guys who take time to read my humble fic and leave me kudos and comments. Love them. Thank you.  
> All the love M.

Don't Look Back In Anger.

 

The year was progressing on and the summer was now turning into fall. The days were becoming shorter and the nights longer and colder. It was that time of the year for the fireplaces to be turned on, pumpkin spiced lattes, walks in the park enjoying the beauty of nature as the trees lost their leaves, for an extra blanket on the bed and lots of cuddles.

 

Louis and Harry spent a very eventful summer. So many things had happened and so many things had changed over the course of three months. Louis had started working less to spend more time with Harry. He had employed a person specifically to fill in for his absence and run the company when he was away. Louis knew that Harry needed him and he knew that he had to be there for him just like Anthony had kept on suggesting in every session they had. Anthony had not been backwards in showing his concerns regarding Harry. During his sessions with Harry, Harry spoke of nothing but how great Louis was with him and what an awesome relationship they had, failing to see that it was an unhealthy relationship, that it was toxic as Anthony pointed out. Louis' fits of jealousy didn't seem to bother Harry. The fact that Louis allowed him no friends besides Liam, Niall, Zayn and Ed didn't seem to bother him either. He was perfectly content with having just them as friends. When Anthony pointed out to Harry that he should have more friends and venture more out into the world without Louis, Harry had almost been offended saying that all he needed in life was Louis, that there was no meaning to his life if Louis was not it therefore there was no need for him to seek out the companionship of anyone else because he was perfectly happy with just Louis. This made Anthony extremely worried and uneasy with the way this relationship was going.

 

And Harry was indeed content with his life. He had finished his first year at University and once again he had passed all his final exams with the highest grades, making him the top student of his year. He had been so happy when he had gotten the results and Louis had been so proud of him, showering him with love and affections. As a gift, he had taken Harry to Amsterdam for a week then from there he had taken him on a two week tour of Italy. Their first stop had been Rome. Harry had fallen in love with the city at first sight. They had spent a few days there visiting landmarks and churches, monuments and little piazzas, drinking cappuccinos and strolling hand in hand like tourists. Then Louis had taken Harry to the Vatican because Harry had wanted to see the Sistine Chapel. Harry had literally stopped breathing at the beauty of the small chapel, his mouth hanging open as he took in the frescoes of the Creation on Man, Noah and The Flood, The Fall of Adam and Eve and The Last Judgement. Then launched into the detailed history of how Michaelangelo had ended up painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel when in fact Michaelangelo had been a sculptor. Then they went into St Peter's Basilica because Harry wanted to show Louis a sculpture by Michaelangelo. He had grabbed his hand and tugged him excitedly through clusters of tourists towards "La Pieta", a statue of the Virgin Mary holding the dead body of her son and again Harry went on to describe to Louis when Michaelangelo had sculpted it, how he had sculpted it from a single block of marble and pointed out to Louis the fact that taking in the proportions of the Virgin's spread knees, if she actually stood up she would be over sever feet tall!! Louis was so besotted with his boy, hearing him speak and talk that he felt all giggly and happy and ever so proud of him.

 

They went on to visit Tuscany, Montepulciano, Firenze, Milan where they had gone on a crazy shopping spree visiting outlets such as D&G, Prada, Armani, Versace, Gucci, Valentino, Sergio Rossi, Trussardi and Christian Dior. Louis had spoiled them both rotten buying them clothes and accessories and shoes even though Harry had complained and whined that he really didn't need to buy him so much stuff but Louis loved spoiling him. Also while in Milan, Louis had taken Harry to Santa Maria delle Grazie to view the famous "Last Supper" by DaVinci. Harry had spent a good deal of time fawning over the painting, explaining to Louis how the apostle on Jesus' right was in fact Mary Magdalene and how everyone tried to hide the fact that maybe it was possible that the twelve apostles were indeed eleven men and one woman. Louis just fonded over Harry as he listened to him talk not really interested in the history of the painting as such (he couldn't give two fucks about it) but just interested in Harry and his knowledge and the way he slowly drawled out his words full of excitement.

 

From Milan they went up to Verona where Harry went all Shakespearean on Louis as he talked endlessly about Romeo and Juliet. They visited Juliet's house and Harry had gotten all excited, so much so that Louis had to remind him a million times that Romeo and Juliet was fiction but Harry, being the romantic buff that he was just kissed Louis under Juliet's balcony, whispering against his lips how he had found his Romeo when he had met him and Louis had melted in his arms. Harry loved the Renaissance palaces and medieval buildings and it was then that he had decided that in his second year at Uni, he would take up History. And Louis had agreed with him whole hearted.

 

They stopped for a few days at Protofino, a small harbor town outside the city of Genoa, with its rows of hilltop and waterfront homes overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean blue sea. It was part of the Italian Reviera, a quaint little seaside town with small cafes and Italian restaurants. Its harbor was littered with beautiful expensive yachts anchored in the calm blue sea. Louis and Harry had strolled hand in hand along the narrow streets, visiting the Medieval Castello Brown and the light house at Punta Portofino. It was there that Louis had decided that once they got back to London he was going to but a yacht so that they could go for a holiday at the South French Riviera in the summer. Harry reckoned that Louis got the craziest ideas ever!

 

And after a lazy stay at Protofino where they drank Italian wine and eat Italian food and made lots of love, Louis took Harry to Venice. It was the perfect destination for their final romantic getaway together. Louis had taken Harry to see the Basilica of San Marco and had taken a walk round the crowded St Mark's square with its cafes and quaint little souvenir shops. Then he took him to the Ponte dei Sospiri and Harry knew the history of this "Bridge of Sighs" which he engaged Louis in the telling of its story and Louis could do nothing but sigh himself as he listened to Harry's slow drawl and deep voice as he talked endlessly. Louis was whipped big time and he didn't miss the opportunity to take Harry on a gondola ride while being serenaded as they glided down the canals at night time, the beautiful city alight with lanterns and love.

 

And Harry was so in love that he couldn't think straight but that didn't stop him from feeling worried. On their return back to London, Harry had his next session with Anthony where he had told him about their holiday and another detailed description of how great Louis was and how he was so madly in love with him, that Anthony reckoned that since Harry was better, he had seen it fit to stop his medications. Anthony had told him that since he was doing well and that he and Louis were okay, he didn't need the pills any more. Harry had wanted to scream at him and tell him that yes he needed them, he needed them to block everything else out, but instead had remained silent and let Anthony take his pills away. That was the time that Harry started to dream again even though he always managed to wake himself up before he could scream out into the darkness. His sleeping had become light and he was always tired and stressed out that he might wake up screaming and alert Louis that he was once again afraid. Louis must never know. Louis was making him happy and Harry was happy. Harry knew he was being silly as Louis was always gentle with him, caring and doting on him but still something inside of him was making him feel terrified. He hated himself for it.

 

Harry loved when he and Louis traveled. It took his mind off certain things. When they traveled it was just Louis and him. When they were at home, Louis had his boys. Harry knew that he had accepted this as a part of Louis but the more time went by, the more it unnerved him. He began to feel jealous even though Louis was always discreet when he had them over. He never made Harry aware that he was with his boys, but Harry knew. Harry knew each time they arrived at the house, the time they arrived, how much time Louis spent down there with them and the time they left. Harry knew everything but pretended he didn't. He didn't want to hurt Louis or act the jealous boyfriend. He couldn't. He had accepted this. Besides, after his session, Louis always came to him ,always came to their bed and made love to him. And Harry let him because that's what good boyfriends do even though it killed him inside and it made him cry afterwards when Louis went for a shower. But he was a big boy in a big boy relationship. He knew what he had been getting himself into when he had accepted Louis' terms and conditions and this was only a small price to pay for Louis' happiness. After all, it was Louis who was fighting his demons and he had to be supportive of him. He couldn't deny him his coping mechanism just because he was insecure and jealous!

 

As Louis had promised while they had been in Portofino Italy, he did buy the yacht. Louis bought a 57 ft super yacht called "Verdemar" meaning "Seagreen" in Italian. He had told Harry that that's what he always thought of when he looked into his eyes. The yacht could comfortably accommodate twelve guests on board and up to fifteen members of the crew to make anyone's experience on board "Verdemar" a luxurious one. There were six cabins, comprising a master suite, a VIP stateroom and four double cabins. It also had a jacuzzi and a helicopter landing pad. Harry couldn't close his mouth when Louis took him on board to see it before he signed the deal. When it was done and "Verdemar" belonged to him, he had opened a bottle of Dom and after had taken Harry into the master suite and they had made love to the swaying of the swell beneath them.

 

During the month of August Louis had taken Harry and their friends on a three week cruise of the French Reviera on board his new yacht. Marc and Ed had been a couple since the night they met at Harry's celebration party that Louis had thrown for him while in L.A. Ever since the moment they met, they had hit it off and now they were almost three months into their relationship. Marc was love struck by Ed and Ed was nonetheless smitten by Marc. During their three month relationship, Marc had discovered that Ed could sing, one of his many hidden talents, another two of which were that Ed could play the guitar and had written lots of songs. Marc had taken him to auditions and Ed had landed himself a recording deal. Needless to say, he was over the moon and he doted on Marc devotedly because he knew that Marc had helped to open doors for him.

 

Niall had started his training work at Louis' company. He was doing pretty well and thriving. Louis had brought in a technical engineer from Canada called Shawn and he was set to work with Niall on the technological designing part of the games. Niall and Shawn hit it off right away, becoming the best of close friends only to discover a few weeks into their friendship that they felt more for each other than mere friendship. Niall broke up with Emily and started dating Shawn. Needless to say, his friends were shocked and surprised as Niall had never hinted at being bisexual but they were happy for him because Shawn made Niall happy and that was all that mattered really. They welcomed Shawn into their fold and two months later, Niall and Shawn were still an item and going strong.

 

Zayn and Liam were still together but they had a lot of arguments because Zayn still did not trust Louis and had become over bearing on Harry, filling his head with all types of things and Liam could see the struggle that Harry was going through. After having fallen out with Nick, Harry had become very protective of his friends, needy of them and clung to them afraid that one of them might find another fault in him and leave him. Harry hated when people left his life and he tried to do anything to keep them. He wanted to please them but sometimes he was torn. He never ever wanted to choose between Louis and his friends. Liam argued with Zayn that it was not fair the way he was making Harry feel and that he should tone down on planting suspicions about Louis in his head because there was no way that Harry was going to leave Louis no matter what he said. Zayn insisted that Louis had ulterior motives when it came to Harry and that he was only protecting him. All this led to many arguments between the couple but their love for each other was stronger and kept them together.

 

The three week cruise to the French Reviera on "Verdemar" was the best time that Harry had ever had. He was with Louis and his friends all of which were couples. Harry suggested that Louis should've named the yacht "The Love Boat" because it was full of love. Niall suggested he should've called it "The Gay Sex Boat" because everyone on board was gay and humping like rabbits. Needless to say, everyone burst out laughing.

 

The cruise had been a success. They went to Saint Tropez, Cannes, Antibes, Nice and Monaco. They swam, relaxed, visited old towns, shops, restaurants, sunbathed, went to a spa in Nice and finally they got all decked out in suits and went to Monaco, staying at the Le Meridien Beach Plaza for a couple of days and went to Monte Carlo casino and a few nightclubs. They gambled, they partied, they got drunk and made love till the sun came up. Harry had never had such a fantastic time in his life. They had returned back to London by the beginning of September just in time for Harry to start his second year at University.

 

It was now mid October and both Louis and Harry had resumed their routines. The summer seemed like a lifetime away, a magical time far away from the present. Harry lay in bed on his side and stared out the window at the storm raging outside. It was one of those rare storms for Autumn. The rain had been falling heavily for hours, accompanied by thunder, lightening and gale force winds. It was after ten in the evening and Louis was still downstairs. Harry knew that he was down in the basement with one of his boys even though he had told Harry that he was going to do some work in his study. Harry was not stupid. He was highly aware of what was going on but he pretended to be oblivious of Louis' activities because he had agreed to this and there was nothing he could do about it but absorb the pain that this was causing him. Many were the times that he had broken into silent sobs whenever he was alone.

 

Harry curled in on himself as he waited for Louis to come up to their bedroom, the idea that he was with one of his boys killing Harry slowly on the inside. He knew well enough that Louis would want to make love to him after his session. It was a given! Louis always came up from the basement highly aroused and Harry hated that. Harry closed his eyes as he continued to listen to a song that he was obsessed with and had on repeat on his phone. It was called "Sign of The Times' by some local artist. Harry had liked the song when it came out and he had bought the album which was really good but this one was his favorite out of the ten tracks. He could listen to it for hours on end.

 

Harry cuddled further into the blankets and tried to relax his mind and body as the storm outside continued to rage on, the rain pelting against the windows and the wind howling. He didn't hear the bedroom door open. He only felt the bed dip as Louis climbed on it and had Harry on his back, nestled between his sprawled legs. Louis pulled out his earbuds and gave him a smile, leaning down to brush Harry's warm lips with his own, grinding down his hips on Harry to make him feel his erection.

 

'Hi baby,' Louis told him while continuing to place kisses down his jaw, alternating between kissing and nibbling at his skin. 'Why are you still clothed?' Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'I'm not in the mood Lou,' he said softly as if scared to speak in a louder voice. Louis raised his head and looked at him quizzically like Harry had just told the greatest, funniest joke ever.

 

'Not in the mood?' Louis asked him, his voice laced with amusement because in the ten months that he had known Harry, Harry had never once told him that he was not in the mood. 'Since when?' Harry didn't want to reject Louis, he really didn't want to but the way his thoughts had been occupying his mind, he just didn't feel like having Louis fuck him tonight. Harry shrugged.

 

'I just don't,' he simply said keeping his gaze diverted away from Louis. He couldn't meet his eyes.

 

'Are you sick?' Louis asked him.

 

'No!' Harry replied curtly. Louis furrowed his brows in confusion.

 

'So you don't want me to make love to you?' Harry shook his head slightly.

 

'Not today,' he told him quietly.

 

'Why?' Louis asked. He just had to ask because this was weird. Harry shrugged and bit his bottom lips and Louis knew that there was more to this. 'Harry why?' Louis pressed.

 

Harry gently pushed Louis off of him and swung his legs off the bed. He sat on the edge, his feet brushing the soft carpet, his shoulders hunched. Louis noticed that Harry looked sad.

 

'Harry love what's the matter?' Louis asked him softly, getting up off the bed and standing in front of Harry. Harry kept looking down and tucked his hands underneath his thighs so Louis wouldn't see how his hands were trembling.

 

'I know you have been spending time with your boys,' Harry told him quietly and his statement made alarm bells ring out in Louis' head. He was surprised that Harry knew because he had been careful but clearly he hadn't been as cautious as he thought he was being.

 

'And?' Louis asked him as he folded his arms across his chest. Harry kept his gaze tightly fixed on the carpet and chewed his lip nervously.

 

I don't like it,' he said in a subdued voice. He was bracing himself for when Louis exploded and yelled but Louis remained quiet. After a minute, he said:

 

'You agreed to this Harry before you moved in with me. I didn't hide it from you and I made it clear to you how things were and you agreed. You know I need this,' Louis told him in a calm voice but emotionless.

 

'I-I k-know you need it. I-I just.....'

 

'You just what?' Louis interrupted him, feeling his patience wearing thin. He was trying to stay calm but this was Harry crossing a line that the both of them had set down and Louis was not liking where Harry was going with this. Harry chewed his lip harder.

 

'I- I w-want...' he paused and took in a deep breath and slowly raised his head finally meeting Louis' gaze. 'Louis, I w-want you to beat me.' Louis' arms fell to his sides and his mouth fell open in shock at the words that had slipped from Harry's mouth.

 

'What the fuck Harry?' he finally hissed at him. Harry looked at him with pleading eyes.

 

'I-I want you to beat me. Please Louis do it. Just beat me,' Harry told him. Louis shook his head viciously.

 

'You don't know what the fuck you're saying! Have you gone fucking crazy?' Louis snapped at him. Harry's fingers curled into fists.

 

'Yes I'm crazy!' he yelled making Louis look at him in astonishment. It was the first time he was hearing Harry raise his voice. 'I am crazy with jealousy. They,' Harry yelled as he pointed towards the door, 'they get to help you fight your demons Louis when it should be me helping you. I am your partner and I should be the one helping you through this which is why I am asking you to please please beat me. Please let me be the one.' Harry paused, breathing hard and looked at Louis who was standing in front of him as if he had turned into a marble statue.This was something he had not seen coming.

 

'I will never fucking beat you,' he told him through gritted teeth.'

 

'Why not?' Harry yelled. 'Am I not good enough for you to beat?'

 

'The fuck is wrong with you Harry? Cut this shit right now,' Louis told him sternly. Harry turned towards the bed and grabbed a thick leather belt from beneath his pillow and thrust it into Louis' hand.

 

'Beat me!' Harry told him. 'I want you to beat me Louis. Please beat me. I will be as good as them I promise. Please,' Harry begged, his voice low. Louis threw the belt to the floor.

 

'You've lost your fucking mind!' he spat at him. Harry's eyes filled with tears.

 

'Why won't you do it?' he croaked out. 'What's so wrong with me that you won't beat me? Is...is it because I am not as pretty as them or-or not as well built as them?' he asked him in a choked voice, the tears slowly falling onto his cheeks. 'How do they get to share this huge part of you with you but I don't Louis? I am your fucking partner!' Harry yelled suddenly, his voice booming around the room. 'You should be beating ME! ME! Instead you just come up here and fuck me after they give you a fucking hard on. Because that's all I'm good for huh Louis? Just to fuck because Harry is soft and pliant. Harry into whom you just spill your load after other men get you hard.' Louis glared at him, stunned and shocked.

 

'Are you quite fucking done with this stupid shit?' Louis yelled.

 

'It's not stupid. Its how I feel Louis,' Harry protested, his voice a little lower.

 

'So is this what you really think?' Louis asked him sounding disgusted at the mere thought of Harry thinking up these things in his head.

 

'It's not what I think,' Harry retorted. 'Its what it is!' Louis shook his head in disbelief.

 

'You know jack shit Harry,' Louis growled at him.

 

'Then enlighten me won't you?' Harry challenged him. 'But oh wait. You can't. Cos you won't let me in on your dark past.' Louis scoffed.

 

'Why are you being such a cocky little bitch?' Louis spat at him. His temper was now reaching boiling point. He was trying to be calm and understand Harry. He was trying to remember what Anthony had told him about when the time came that Harry opened up but this wasn't Harry opening up. This was Harry demanding a choice from him, a choice that he couldn't make.

 

'Because I'm tired of sharing you with other men!' Harry spat at him. Louis was fuming.

 

'I'm not fucking them Harry!' Louis told him trying to justify his relationship with his boys and making Harry see that there was a difference between the relationship he had with him and the one he has with his boys.

 

'Of course you're not fucking them!' Harry sneered at him. 'Because Harry is the whore who takes your dick up the ass without complaint even though its breaking his fucking heart. But what do you care? You're getting the best of both worlds so my feelings shouldn't matter right?' Louis couldn't believe that this was the same Harry!

 

'Harry you better shut the fuck up or help me God....'

 

'Or you'll what Louis?' Harry challenged him. 'Go on beat me into submission! But oh wait you don't have to. I'm already your submissive aren't I? Have been since day one. That's all I have ever been in this relationship: a good submissive fuck!'

 

'How dare you?' Louis screamed at him. 'How fucking dare you say this about yourself? They fucking mean nothing to me Harry. Nothing! What I have with you, I do not have with them!'

 

'And what you have with them, you sure as hell don't have with me Louis,' Harry screamed back at him. 'You get to be with them in a way you are not with me but God forbid I talk to a man who is not you!' Louis could feel his head about ready to explode from anger. This was the first time they were having a two sided argument. Usually Harry never argued back! Fuck, Harry NEVER argued back!

 

'You are way out of fucking line here Harry. I love you....'

 

'Do you?' Harry interrupted him. 'Do you really? Cos I'm not really sure of it anymore.' Louis felt as if Harry's words were a harsh slap to his face.

 

'Are you seriously doubting my love for you? After all I gave you.....'

 

'I don't want your fucking money or expensive gifts!' Harry yelled at him, his face red and the veins in his neck sticking out. 'That shit means nothing to me. I want you! You completely! I want your darkness and your unhappiness. I want your past, your present and your future. I want all of you Louis, not half of you. I want you to be completely mine. MINE! I want your good, your bad, your ugly and your fuckedupness. I want to be the one you beat while dealing with your demons not THEM! That's my job not THEIRS!' Louis ground his teeth together so harshly that his jaw hurt.

 

'I will never fucking beat you Harry. Beating you doesn't help me,' he told him in a low voice.

 

'But beating them does?' Harry yelled.

 

'Yes it fucking does!' Louis yelled back. 'Yes Harry beating them helps me.' He watched Harry's face fall and for an instant his doe eyed boy was back. Harry looked at him as if defeated.

 

'So why not me Louis?' he asked him softly. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly trying to calm himself.

 

'I won't hurt you Harry,' he told him hoping that Harry would fucking understand but as Louis looked at him, he saw the flush of anger creep up back into his face.

 

'Oh now you don't want to hurt me?' Harry screamed at him once again over taken by his anger. 'What about when you raped me Louis? You didn't give a fuck about hurting me then even though I begged you not to! You just hurt me anyway!'

 

A silence feel between them. Harry took a few steps back realizing what he had just said to Louis. Louis stood there, bracing himself for it. Anthony had warned him that it would come. Harry had been triggered and it was coming. Louis could feel it. The cat was out of the bag.

 

'I...I...' Harry stammered. Louis knew he was trying to take it back but he would be damned if he let him.

 

'Say it Harry. Go on then spit it out. You have been fucking dying to throw it in my face and now is your fucking chance so do it already,' Louis taunted him. Harry looked confused and a little shaken, clearly he hadn't meant to bring it up but in the heat of the moment it had slipped out.

 

'I..no...I....'

 

'Don't you fucking stand there and stammer. Go on its your turn to beat me. Because I raped you and that's your only weapon to beat me with,' Louis spat at him. Harry could feel the anger seeping back into his veins, creeping under his skin.

 

'Don't you fucking dare make this about you! I never hurt you Louis but you found it so easy to hurt me! I gave you my body willingly but you had to rape me!' Harry stopped, taking in gulps of air, the tears rolling down his warm cheeks. 'You raped me!' he screamed at Louis. 'You forced yourself into me when I begged you not to. I don't mind the beating you gave me. That was nothing but....' he paused because he was sobbing hard now and couldn't speak. He swallowed hard and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. 'You raped me. I was yours Louis and you had to take something so wonderful from me and turn it into a fucking nightmare. You damaged me emotionally. You scarred me mentally. Do you know how hard it is to have the person you love so much rape you? To tell yourself over and over again that its okay and that its alright, to convince myself you raped me but you love me so its alright. Have you ever raped one of your boys Louis?'

 

Louis was breaking up inside hearing this from Harry but he was also okay with it because it meant that Harry was coming to terms with it and frankly Harry was just telling him plainly how it was.

 

'No,' Louis told him quietly. 'I never have.' Harry stood there in his sweatpants and tee shirt, barefooted, shaking, trembling, the tears falling from his eyes and Louis just wanted to wrap him in his arms and make it all better for him, keep him safe, cuddle him under the blankets, kiss his forehead and tell him that everything will be alright.

 

'So why me?' Harry whispered. 'Why do it to me? It won't leave my mind...that night, it just replays in my head over and over again and I can't hate you for it. I can't stop loving you but its THERE and I can't escape it. I can't deal with it Louis. You let THEM help you but not me. I'm good enough for you to rape but not good enough to help you through your dark times.'

 

'Its not like that Harry,' Louis said, his voice thick with emotions. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. 'I won't fucking hurt you. Ever.' Harry hung his head as if defeated.

 

'But you did,' he told him softly. 'You did Louis. I did not deserve to be raped but yet here I am begging you to let me be the one you ever need, the only one that can give you all you need. It will be just you and I Louis.' Louis shook his head.

 

'No Harry,' Louis told him in a choked up voice. A sob escaped Harry's mouth as he looked at Louis through blurry eyes.

 

'My love should be enough to heal you but I realize that it isn't. I am not enough for you, you are making that very clear. I...I thought that if I loved you hard enough, if I gave you all the love inside of me, that by accepting you and your past, it would be enough for you to start healing and not need them any more but I am nothing Louis. My love for you is nothing,' Harry hiccupped through his tears. By now Louis was silently crying too.

 

'Harry stop. Please don't say that. Can't you see that you are everything to me. Everything.' Harry shook his head.

 

'If I was everything you needed, you wouldn't need them. You would beat me. I trust you to not beat me so hard as the first time but I can do it. I can be what you need if you just let me. I will be your relief from that dark place of yours.' Louis swallowed hard, Harry's words causing him pain right in his chest.

 

'I can't beat you Harry. It would kill me to hurt you. I promised you I wouldn't do it again and I intend to keep this promise to you.'

 

'But can't you see that you are hurting me? You are hurting my heart and my mind, my pride. Please. I want you to. This is one promise that you can break because I am asking you to. I'd rather have my body hurt than my heart.'

 

'Not gonna happen,' Louis insisted. Harry grabbed his hair and tugged at it in desperation.

 

'I can't go on like this Louis, I can't,' Harry cried. 'I can't...having them here. I can't have you needing them. You have to make a choice.'

 

'Harry don't do this,' Louis pleaded with him. 'You know I can't choose.....'

 

'You have to! Its a simple easy choice Louis,' Harry told him. Louis could feel his anger getting the best of him once again.

 

'You are not in a fucking position to make me choose Harry!' he snapped at him. Harry felt his anger rising at Louis again, that he couldn't see what Harry was trying to say.

 

'Yes I am Louis,' Harry yelled. 'I'm the one hurting here. Can't you see how its killing me knowing you are with them?'

 

'And can't you fucking see that it kills me to even think about hurting you?' Louis yelled back. Once again they were back to a yelling match, both of them not giving up. 'Why won't you get it through your fucking head? You and THEM.....there is no fucking you and THEM. There is just YOU Harry. They don't come anywhere close to you, they don't compare with you. I have no feelings for them whatsoever but you...I....'

 

'Don't say you fucking love me!' Harry screamed at him. 'If you loved me, you wouldn't need them. If you loved me, you wouldn't have raped me! If you loved me, you would fucking choose right now and if your love for me was true, you would choose me!' Louis was losing his patience.

 

'There is no fucking choice to be made here. Its not even a fucking choice don't you see? How can you doubt I love you Harry? How? After all I've done for you?'

 

'You've done nothing but buy me like a cheap whore and I let you,' Harry spat at him, his anger clearly surprising Louis. The damage was far more worse than he and Anthony had anticipated. Louis was stunned into silence, looking at Harry with his mouth open. This was not his baby Harry! It couldn't be! The sweet, calm boy that he loved so much! Louis took in a deep shaky breath, trying to calm himself down.

 

'I never treated you like a whore!' Louis threw at him, more angrily than he felt.

 

'Yes you do Louis!' Harry insisted. Louis stared daggers at him.

 

'So if like you say I don't love you and treat you like nothing but a cheap whore why the fuck did you stay with me? Why the fuck did you come back after I fucking raped you huh Harry? Why?' Harry was still shaking, his anger still visibly alive and kicking. But he was crying too. Too many emotions in one go.

 

'Because,' he said, trying to contain his fury, 'I love you Louis. I am so in love with you I thought I could take anything you throw my way. I thought my love was stronger than me, that I could be okay with this but its killing me. It's become an obsession thinking of you with them. I just...I can't Louis. I'm not strong enough to endure this. I honestly thought I could but I....I just want you to need ME. Just me.'

 

'Baby I do need you please just understand the difference,' Louis pleaded. Harry was in aright messy state and Louis knew that he should be calm through this but all the things Harry was saying were scaring him and his anger was his only defense mechanism. Harry hung his head.

 

'Not enough. You don't need me enough to let them go. They can give you the release and escape that I can't.' Louis' fear was growing. All he wanted was to wrap Harry in his arms and get him into bed and cuddle him until he fell asleep and in the morning, all of this would be forgotten and Harry would be back to himself.

 

'Baby please,' Louis begged him. 'Why are you doing this? Everything has been so good between us.' Harry raised his head and met Louis' gaze.

 

'Nothing has been good between us since you raped me,' he told him flatly. The words went straight to Louis' heart. He took a few steps towards him.

 

'Then let's make it right. Let's talk about it without all this anger. We will go to Anthony together tomorrow but right now, yell at me Harry. Yell at me for what I've done to you. Curse me. Get it out of your system but Harry please please don't bring them into it. They are not even an issue for us to be fighting over. They are paid to do me a service that's all. Please baby, let me make you a cup of tea and we can get into bed.....'

 

'Either them or me,' Harry told him in a defeated voice.

 

'Why are you being so fucking stubborn?' Louis yelled. He noticed that Harry didn't even flinch at his raised voice. Which was new! 'Harry there is no fucking choice to be made here. No choice at all.' Louis was feeling frustrated and very panicked. He wasn't getting through to Harry at all and he didn't know what to do. Harry remained silent standing there, waiting, his eyes on Louis.

 

'Harry I'm working on it with Anthony. Please you need to give me time. I can't just give them up. If I do...you...you won't be safe. I'm scared of myself around you. Can't you see that this is difficult for me too? I have been doing this for a very long time, you can't just ask me to quit them. Its how I deal with....' he stopped and took in a deep breath. 'Please let me continue to work on it. I'm sure I can do it.'

 

'We've been together for ten months Louis. And throughout this whole time, you didn't think I was good enough for you to share your troubles with me. You have kept me out of your life. I hardly know you! I don't know anything about your private life! You won't let me in and I'm tired of being on the outskirts of your life, looking in, wanting to help you but I can't because you won't let me. Yes I agreed to your terms because I love you and I know you are dealing with things I know nothing about but I...I'

 

'You what?' Louis interrupted him. Harry looked down again.

 

'I thought that maybe given time you would open up to me and let me in and we'd get through your issues together, that you would let me be there for you, that eventually you won't need them any more because you had me. That I would be enough for you.'

 

'How many fucking times must I tell you that you are more than enough for me?' Louis growled at him. Harry chanced a look at him.

 

'Enough that you will stop having them over?' he asked him. Louis ran a hand through his hair, frustrated beyond his every possible limit. He had to put a stop to this nonsense. Harry would not put demands on him or give him ultimatums.

 

'Harry, you need to cut this shit out right now,' Louis told him a little more calmly yet his voice was stern and angry. 'I am not giving them up. You were okay with this. You fucking agreed to this. I didn't hide it from you at any point. I didn't trick you into a relationship and then suddenly dumped it on you. I was honest right from the start so you really have no right to give me a choice, a choice you know I cannot make. This is my life we are talking about, something I need to do and I will not let you put any demands on me. We can work through this.....'

 

'No we can't!' Harry shouted. 'Not unless you let me in and give them up. That is all I am asking of you Louis. There is no working through this unless you give them up.'

 

'You know Harry, you are being a right dick. I have tried being patient and to understand the point you are making here, which to be honest I don't really get as I can't fucking see what choice I should be making since there is no choice to be made between you and them. I have told you multiple times that you are in a class of your own. Separate from them. But to have you here all angry and pissed at me, dictating my life to me, demanding from me to do what you feel is best for my life, well I won't have it because you don't know shit. I can't give them up and frankly I won't. I haven't fucking heard you complain each time I buy you things or clothes or take you on trips. And then you had the fucking nerve to disrespect me by accusing me of buying you like a cheap whore. Well maybe if you hadn't sold yourself like a cheap whore in the first place......'

 

Louis stopped in mid-sentence just as Harry let out a pained gasp. They both stood staring at each other horrified : Louis for what he had just let slip out of his mouth and Harry at having heard Louis call him a cheap whore. The truth was finally out, the truth that Harry always harbored inside his head but refused to believe. So Louis did indeed see him as a whore! Louis took a tentative step towards him.

 

'Harry I...I...didn't mean it,' he stammered out, wishing he could take back those hurtful words but Harry was already backing away from him, the tears falling heavily from his eyes.

 

'Harry please,' Louis begged him when he saw the state he was in. 'I...I was mad...I..I didn't mean it love....please.' Harry choked on a sob.

 

'Y-you-re r-right I...I am a cheap whore.'

 

'Harry don't please!' Louis pleaded with him, seeing where he was going with it. 'It-it just slipped out.' By now Harry was full on crying.

 

'I let you blind me with material things. I let you buy me. I sold myself to you. I...I don't even know me any more. If-if my m-mum was here...she...she....'

 

'Harry I didn't mean it for fuck's sake,' Louis shouted. 'Please believe me.' Harry opened the bedroom door and ran out, heading towards the stairs. Louis dashed out after him and by the time Louis got to the top of the stairs, Harry was down in the hallway heading for the front door.

 

'Harry stop!!!'Louis yelled but Harry didn't stop. He pulled open the front door, wind and rain greeting him.

 

'Harry get back up here!' Louis yelled but Harry was staring outside, deliberating on what to do.

 

'Harry you take one fucking step out of that door and we're done. I mean it. There won't be a coming back. I won't have you back. Don't you dare take a fucking step outside that bloody door,' Louis threatened him. He didn't want to but he was scared shit less. He wanted to run down the stairs and drag him back up to their bedroom but he didn't want to startle him or make things even worse than they were.

 

Harry hesitated on the threshold, his hand on the door knob, the wind and the rain beating against him, a flash of lightening illuminated the driveway outside, followed by a loud clap of thunder. Louis was holding his breath. He wanted Harry to close that fucking door and come back upstairs so that they could fix this. He wanted his submissive Harry back. This Harry was stubborn. Louis gripped the banister tightly till his knuckles where white.

 

'You put one foot out that door and you're gone Harry. I mean it. I'm not coming after you,' Louis told him. His anger had left his body the minute Harry fled their bedroom and was replaced by fear, a deep fear of losing him. Harry was breathing hard and fast, sobbing and hiccuping, Louis' previous words echoing inside his head, his low self esteem feeding on those words like a leech, making Harry feel like trash. He needed the voices in his head to stop.

 

Cheap Whore.

 

Loser.

 

Not good enough.

 

Then without further thought to his actions or threats from Louis, he bolted out the door running out into the storm.

 

'Harry!!!' Louis screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran down the stairs as fast as he could towards the open door that was banging against the wall from the force of the wind outside. In his haste to reach Harry, he nearly slipped on the wet floor that was splashed with rain. Louis poked his head out of the door, frantically looking for Harry.

 

'Harry come back!' he yelled at the top of his lungs but his voice was lost as another loud clap of thunder rattled the house. Louis cursed loudly, slammed the door shut and ran back up the stairs two at a time. He entered their bedroom and grabbed his phone off the bedside table and dialed Harry's number. To his horror he froze when he heard Harry's ringtone coming from his bedside table. Louis crossed the room quickly and sure enough, there was Harry's phone, Louis' face smiling from it. It was only then that Louis realized with a cold shock that Harry was out in the storm with no phone, no money, barefooted and wearing nothing but a thin cotton tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

 

'You God damned fucking idiot!' Louis yelled to the empty room. 'You fucking dumb asshole running like that out in this fucking storm. You'll catch your death out there!' Louis cursed as he went into the closet and pulled on a thick sweater, a pair of trainers and his thickest jacket. He also grabbed Harry's lavender jumper, a woolly scarf , fluffy socks and another thick jacket. He rushed down to the garage through the kitchen door cursing everything and everyone in his path. He got into the Range Rover and threw the extra clothes on the backseat. He had to find Harry and get him into warm clothes. He pressed the remote control to open the garage door, turned on the head lights and pulled out into the ranging storm searching for Harry.

 

 

X

 

Harry ran down the driveway, his bare feet slapping against the wet concrete. He vaguely heard Louis' voice calling out to him over the roar of the wind, the thunder and the pounding of his broken heart beating in his ears. By the time he had reached the gate, he was soaked through and frozen. His wet clothes clung to his skin, his long hair dripping as his tears continued to fall which the relentless rain beating down on him washed away.

 

Harry couldn't see where he was going. It was too dark and due to the raging wind, heavy rain and his tears he couldn't make out anything except blurry images of roads he didn't recognize. The only light came occasionally from the flash of lightening which made Harry keep his head down and run on blindly. All he knew was that he had to get away from here. From Louis.

 

Louis' cruel words continued to play in his head like a broken vinyl stuck on the same note. Harry cried harder as he ran away faster from the house that had been his home for the past few months. The soles of his feet hurt as he ran over the harsh ground, the concrete scraping the bottom of his feet. He knew he would get blisters but he didn't care. He knew that he had been stupid to act so irrational and just run out into the storm but he couldn't stay in the house any longer with Louis. Why did Louis have to be so mean? Why was he so heartless? Why couldn't Louis for once just be sensitive to his needs and get rid of his boys for him? Couldn't Louis see how much this was hurting him? No, Louis probably didn't because he was a cold selfish being but Harry loved him and that was what confused him. Why couldn't he just break away?

 

Because he's your drug and you're addicted.

 

Harry looked around the deserted streets trying to make out where he was. Londoners had taken the weatherman's advice to heart and had stayed at home out of this terrible storm. Harry tried to gauge where he was but he had never been up to Kensington before by himself and he didn't know the whereabouts especially not in this torrential rain. He suddenly felt gripped by a fear that maybe he had gotten himself lost. However, he set off running again, thanking God for his Saturday runs and keeping himself in shape.

 

Finally he emerged from a side street and across the road he could make out the faint light of the Underground sign. If he could just see which station that was then maybe he could find out where he was and maybe even step inside out of the storm for a while just to catch his breath and not have the rain pelt down on him so hard. He just needed to step into a dry place for a little bit just to gather his whereabouts and his thoughts.

 

Harry crossed the street and ran into the Underground station, sighing in relief when he saw that it was Marble Arch station. He was at the top of Oxford Street, right in front of Hyde Park and across the street from Edgware Road. He was close to his flat. He was hoping that Niall would be home seeing that he had no key to enter the flat but that was highly unlikely as Niall had been living more at Shawn's flat then at their own apartment, still Harry hoped for the best. He entered the station and a gust of warm air greeted him. Harry shivered violently, his teeth chattering as he wrapped his arms around himself trying to keep warm which was impossible since he was all wet and cold to the bone. He longed for a hot bath, warm clothes and cup of tea.

 

Harry stepped further inside the tube station try to suck up as much warmth as he could because his body felt numb and he was shivering really badly. His jaw hurt from rattling and the more he thought about the warmth of his tiny apartment, the more he wished he was there right now.

 

'Sir you need to leave,' a voice behind him said, startling him out of his thoughts. Harry turned and saw the station supervisor. 'No homeless in the station. You can go to the homeless shelter on Rushworth Street. Its against station regulations to shelter in here.' Harry tried to smile at the man but he was shaking too hard.

 

'I-I-I'm n-n-not h-h-homeless,' Harry stammered, his teeth chattering. 'I-I-I l-l-live a-a-across on E-E-Edgware Road.' The man looked him up and down, at his bare muddy, dirty feet, his soaking clothes and messy, tangled hair and Harry knew that the man didn't believe him and he couldn't blame the man because he figured that he must look a right mess.

 

'Please leave Sir. Do not make me call the police,' the man told him again. Harry looked from the man to the outside and he really didn't feel like he could go back out there but he had no choice. His feet hurt a lot but he just nodded at the man and hobbled towards the exit. Then he ducked his head and sprinted outside into the storm again. He crossed the street, thankful that there was no traffic and headed towards Edgware Road praying to God that Niall was home. His body felt awfully cold and tired and he really couldn't run any more.

 

Finally he was at their flat door. Harry pressed the buzzer as if his life depended on it.

 

'C'mon please,' he begged. 'Niall please,' he said into the intercom as he continued to press the buzzer but all he heard was the static of the buzzer. 'No no no please no,' Harry cried. 'Niall you have to be home. Please. I need to get in.' But the intercom remained silent and the door to the flat remained closed. Harry was desperate. He was afraid and cold and tired. He was hungry and needed hot tea and a blanket but there was nowhere to go. He looked around at the shops maybe one of them was open and they would let him make a phone call but he figured it was now past 11:30 pm and all the shops were closed. He saw lights in home windows but he didn't know any of his neighbors and people here were all about safety so he doubted they would even open the door for him at this late hour.

 

He rested his head back against the door and yearned to be inside out of this terrible storm but he was stranded out here. There was no way he could get in touch with anyone tonight. He walked a few steps down from his flat to the little convenience store that Harry usually bought his milk and bread from but it was closed too. Lucky for him, the shop had a little entryway which was partly dry and could cover him from the rain and wind if only for a little bit. He also noticed that there was a thick carpet in front of the door. Harry slid down to the ground, pulled his knees to his chest and huddled into the corner as much as he could to shield himself from the storm, then pulled the dirty carpet over him, taking from it as much warmth as he could.

 

 

X

 

Louis felt drained and exhausted both mentally and physically. The clock on his dashboard read 2:45 am. He had been driving around London for hours looking for Harry but to no avail. The storm was ceasing a little bit, the rain now falling at a slower but steadier pace. He felt chilled to the bone even though he had the car heating on full blast. The temperature next to the time on the dashboard read -1 degrees and he needed the car to be toasty so that when he found Harry it would be warm enough in here to warm him up. By now, wherever he was, he was surely freezing.

 

Louis was sick with worry, thinking about Harry being out in this weather barefooted and in just a thin tee shirt. He had never known himself to worry this much over something let alone over someone. But here he was on the verge of busting a vein worrying about how Harry must be frozen to his core, how he could get hypothermia, chillblains, a cold...anything! Louis had been past Harry's apartment a few times, had even gotten out of the car and nearly busted his intercom, holding the button down relentlessly. He had called the landline but there had been no answer. He had also looked up to Harry's windows hoping for some kind of light to let him know that Harry was home and he was simply not answering because he didn't want to speak to him and he could understand that, but the windows were all dark. Nobody was home!

 

Louis had called a few hospitals around the area asking if a Harry Styles had been admitted into the ER, but the answer had always been no and for that he had been relieved but it didn't stop the fear inside of him. What if he was lying somewhere unconscious? What if he had slipped and hit his head? Harry was clumsy enough on those baby deer legs of his! Louis literally felt sick to his stomach thinking of Harry lying somewhere, hurt and all alone in the cold!

 

He had to find him even though he felt defeated and anxious. Louis knew that Harry couldn't have called any of his friends because he had no phone with him. He couldn't have taken a taxi, a bus or the tube as he didn't have his wallet with him so he was definitely on foot but where? Then it dawned on him to check out the homeless shelters within walking distance. There were only two places that weren't too far away but Harry was in neither. Louis continued to drive slowly, occasionally wiping the fog off his windscreen so her could see better.

 

'Where are you baby?' he whispered to himself. 'Please baby let me find you. Let me take you home. You can't stay out here baby.' Louis wasn't religious or spiritual. He didn't know how to pray, who to pray to or if prayers were actually answered but he was begging whoever was up there, to help him find Harry safely.

 

He made his way for the hundredth time down Edgware Road. He cruised slowly squinting his eyes to see in the darkness and rain, scanning every doorway but no Harry. All he could see where the bulky shapes of homeless people huddled up in shop doorways under dirty blankets and cardboard boxes trying to find a little warmth and shelter from the cold. Louis decided to drive back home because what if Harry had returned home and hadn't found him there? What if Harry was all warm in their bedroom, worrying and wondering where Louis had gone to?

 

Louis pulled out of Edgware Road and headed home. By the time he got there is was four in the morning. He parked the Range Rover close to the front door, not bothering to put it in the garage and he entered the silent house. He ran up the stairs calling out Harry's name hoping that Harry would meet him on the landing and they would hug each other, their fight forgotten and Louis would bury his face in his hair and thank God that he was safe and sound, but when he got to their bedroom, it was empty. Louis ran a hand through his hair feeling despair over take him. Panic was choking him and he didn't know what to do. Should he call the police? He needed help to look for Harry but he knew it was too early to file a report for a missing person. The police would tell him to wait at least 24 hours and Louis couldn't wait that long. His baby could be hurt!

 

'Where the fuck are you Harry?' he whispered to the empty room feeling the sudden urge to cry like a baby. 'Where are you baby?'

 

He exited their bedroom and went back downstairs to make himself a cup of coffee. He knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight and he needed something to warm the chill inside of him, to thaw the icy fingers that were wrapped around his heart. Louis sat down on the stool and sipped the hot coffee. He looked out the window above the sink that over looked his garden. It was still dark but he knew that as soon as dawn broke and there was a little light outside, he would go out again to look for Harry and he wouldn't stop until he found him and brought him home.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry felt numb. Somebody was shaking him and calling his name but he was too numb and tired to even open his eyes. His joints felt frozen and his body hurt but somebody kept shaking him and calling his name and he just wanted them to go away so he could sleep. If he slept he wouldn't feel cold, or hungry or thirsty or the pain in his body. But the voice kept insisting that he open his eyes and so ever so slowly Harry opened his eyes bringing into focus the man that was shaking him.

 

'Harry thank God you scared me,' the man told him and Harry blinked a couple of times before he realized that the man talking to him was Philip, the owner of the store that Harry was nestled into. 'Harry what the hell are you doing in my doorway, wet and covered in my dirty carpet?' Philip asked him a little bit confused and shocked to have found him curled up in his doorway. Harry tried to speak but his jaw started to chatter again and it hurt. Philip stood.

 

'Its okay Harry don't speak. I'm just going to open the shop and help you inside yeah. You don't look too well. Your lips are blue,' Philip told him as he opened the door then bent down to help Harry but as soon as he placed his hands under Harry's armpits to help him up, Harry groaned. His body hurt so much.

 

'Come on Harry I got you. Lets get you inside and get you warm then we call someone to come and get you,' Philip told him and with a little help, Harry stood up on shaky legs, letting out a cry as the soles of his feet touched the ground. They were so painful. Philip got him inside and sat him down on a stool by the front counter. He noticed that Harry's clothes were wet and dirty and his feet were a disaster.

 

'What the hell happened to you?' Philip asked him as he went into the back room and brought out a blanket which he draped over Harry's shoulders. Then he lit the electric kettle to make him some tea. Harry was shaking really hard from the cold so when Philip handed him the tea, he couldn't even hold the mug without spilling hot tea all over him. Philip helped him to take a sip and Harry nearly cried in relief as he felt the hot liquid going down his throat soothing him.

 

'Do you need me to call someone for you?' Philip asked him kindly. Harry nodded and Philip took out his phone. 'Number?' he asked and Harry stammered out a number which Philip dialed in his phone. He listened to the ringtone assuming the person he was calling was still asleep seeing it was only a little after six in the morning. Finally the call was picked up.

 

'Hello?' a groggy sleepy voice mumbled into the phone.

 

'Ah yes hi. I am Philip Preston and I'm calling on behalf of Harry who is at my shop right now and needs you to pick him up,' Philip said into the phone. 'Uhm I found him sleeping in my shop doorway when I came to open the shop. He's not really looking too well. I think he was out all night in the storm. He can't really speak. I think you should just come and get him and maybe take him to the ER?' Philip listened again then gave the address and hung up. He looked at Harry who looked like he was ready to pass out any minute.

 

'He'll be here in ten minutes he said. Can I do anything else for you?' Harry shook his head and stammered out a thank you. As he waited, the events from last night slowly began to take up form in his mind, all that had happened between him and Louis. He couldn't quite remember exactly what had happened because he was too tired and worn out but one thing he could remember and knew for sure was that they were over. There was no going back now. Louis hadn't chosen him over his boys and he had told him that if he left there was no going back. Harry didn't mean to leave him. He had been confused and hurt and upset and had acted upon impulse but that didn't matter now. He couldn't stay with Louis while Louis stayed with his boys!

 

The sound of a screeching car distracted Harry out of his depressing thoughts. He looked up to see Craig rushing into the shop, a worried look on his face as his eyes took in Harry.

 

'Harry oh my God what happened to you?' Craig asked him when he saw the state he was in. Instinctively his doctor instincts kicked in and he began inspecting Harry for injuries or any sign of trauma. Harry felt his eyes fill with tears.

 

'C-can you p-p-please t-take me to y-your house?' Harry whispered. Craig stopped assessing him and looked at Harry tenderly and gave him a soft smile.

 

'Yes of course but what happened? Are you hurt? Are you injured anywhere? You need to tell me if anywhere hurts Harry,' Craig told him kindly. Craig put the back of his hand against Harry's forehead checking for a fever. 'Do you feel sick?' he asked him as in the next instant he was taking Harry's pulse.

 

'J-just t-t-take me home p-please,' Harry told him in a small voice. He desperately needed warmth. Everything inside of him and outside of him hurt and he just needed warmth.

 

'Yes sure come on,' Craig told him as he turned to Philip and shook his hand. 'Thank you for taking care of him.' Philip nodded in return. Craig helped Harry off the stool but Harry cried out as soon as his bare feet touched the floor. Craig sat him back down and got down on his knees to inspect Harry's feet. They were dirty and mud crusted, blistered and bleeding.

 

'Jesus Christ,' Craig muttered to himself, wondering what the hell had happened to Harry. He had to clean those wounds to avoid infection and give him some antibiotics. Craig took off his shoes and pulled off his pair of thick socks and put them on Harry's injured feet then put his shoes back on without socks. He removed the blanket off Harry's shoulders, looking at his damp clothes clinging to his skin. Craig took off his thick jacket and gave it to Harry.

 

'Here put this on,' he told him. 'You are frozen.' He helped him put on the jacket. Craig was six feet two inches tall, taller than Harry also broader at the shoulders so the jacket was a little bit big for Harry but he snuggled into its warmth.

 

'T-t-thank you,' Harry told him offering him a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

 

Craig helped him up and slowly but surely got him to the car. He turned up the heating to stop Harry shivering so much and pulled out on to the still empty road. The rain and the wind had stopped but the temperature had gone to below zero and the rain sleeked streets and pavements had turned to sleet, making the roads and pavements as slippery as ice rinks.The dawn was breaking, a weak light filtering through heavy grey clouds that covered London.

 

Craig drove carefully to avoid skidding on the icy roads and prevent getting himself and Harry into an accident. Harry snuggled inside Craig's jacket, reveling in the warmth from it and from the hot air blowing from the car vents. His body began to get a little feeling back into it, his muscles and joints thawing and relaxing. Craig shot him a worried sideways glance but was quick to divert his attention back to the road ahead.

 

'What happened Harry?' he told him softly. 'Why are you in this state?'

 

Harry bit his bottom lip a little too hard because he didn't know what to say or how to even explain what had happened last night without divulging too much into Louis' private life which had been the cause of their fight. He knew that Craig would ask but his mind had been too tired to make up explanations.

 

'C-can we t-talk later please?' he asked. Craig nodded, keeping his eyes ahead.

 

'Sure. Of course. I'm sorry,' he apologized. He had known Harry only a short while but he had become very fond of him and he knew that Harry wasn't much of a talker because Harry had problems and these problems concerned another person that Harry didn't like talking much about either.

 

The rest of the drive was silent. Harry felt himself beginning to drift off to sleep surrounded by warmth as he was and not having slept at all the night before, it was all now taking a toll on him, the smooth rumbling of the car lulling him to sleep. Now he knew what it was like to be homeless, after having spent a night huddled in a shop doorway under a dirty carpet trying to stay out of the storm. His heart went out to those people who had to sleep out in the streets of London come rain or shine. He made a mental note to be more generous and helpful towards these people and maybe even volunteer to help out at the homeless shelters.

 

He was jostled out of his light sleeping when he felt the car stop. He opened his tired eyes and looked at Craig.

 

'We're here,' Craig told him. Harry wanted so much to stay cocooned here in Craig's jacket and the warm car. He was so cozy and comfortable and ever so tired. He just needed to sleep. Craig seemed to pick up on what Harry was thinking.

 

'Come on Harry. You need a hot bath, warm clothes, food and a week's worth of sleep.'

 

Harry nodded in agreement and allowed Craig to help him out of the car and into his building. Harry didn't know where Craig's flat was and he wasn't too bothered with the surroundings. He just needed to rest. It was agony to walk on his blistered and cut feet but finally Craig was opening the door and ushering Harry into his warm apartment.

 

Craig watched Harry intently but Harry seemed to be oblivious to anything but the thoughts running through his mind. He led Harry to the couch and sat him down gently. Harry sighed.

 

'I'm going to take care of your feet first okay. They look the worst,' Craig told him and Harry simply nodded. Craig left the room only to return with a basin of hot water which he placed on the floor in front of Harry's feet. He knelt down by the basin and took off Harry's socks then immersed his feet in the hot water. Harry hissed and tried to pull his feet back out of the water. Craig looked up at him.

 

'I know they sting and burn but we have to get them cleaned. There's gravel in your cuts. I need to get them out,' Craig told him.

 

Harry let him immerse his feet in the hot water. Craig began to gently clean his feet, starting with the toes, checking to make sure there were no broken bones. When he was satisfied with his examination of the toes, he moved to the soles, gently cleaning the wounds, with Harry occasionally hissing and trying to pull his feet back because of the pain but Craig held them tightly. He looked up at Harry and Harry found himself looking into his blue eyes. They weren't exactly the same color as Louis' eyes but they were blue and they hurt so Harry quickly looked away.

 

'Care to tell me what happened?' Craig asked him as he continued to clean his feet.

 

Harry swallowed hard. Craig didn't know that Louis was his boyfriend. All Craig knew was that he and Louis were friends and that he had stayed over at Louis' house when he had been "hurt" so that Louis could look after him because that's what friends did.

 

'I-I was st-staying at L-Louis' house. I-I only sl-sleep there s-sometimes not l-like all the time. I...I mean.....'

 

'Harry,' Craig stopped him with his gentle voice and light squeeze of Harry's ankle. 'I know he's your partner.' Harry's eyes went wide with surprise which made Craig chuckle.

 

'You do?' Harry asked him.

 

'Harry I'm not stupid,' Craig told him. 'In both my line of work I am trained to read people Harry, to gauge their reactions to identify problems and situations they do not wish to talk about. When I came to visit you at his house, he definitely made it felt that he owns you. He made sure I know that you are his. I picked up on it right away just like I picked up the fact that he is a very impressive, powerful and dominating man. He makes his domineering presence felt loud and clear.'

 

Harry remained quiet not daring to meet Craig's eyes. For a while it was silent between them, only the splashing of the water could be heard as Craig continued to clean out his cuts. After a while, Craig stopped washing his cuts and he looked up at Harry.

 

'Was he the one that hurt you that morning when you came into the ER?' he asked him gently. Harry chewed his bottom lip, avoiding Craig's eyes. 'Did he?' Craig pressed.

 

'It wasn't like that,' Harry said quietly. Craig shook his head.

 

'Harry, he hurt you....'

 

'Please....' Harry whispered, interrupting Craig because he didn't want to go back to that. He had enough dealing with the present issues without having to go back to that dreadful night. Craig sighed and nodded at him, dropping the subject.

 

'Want to tell me what happened to you last night?' Craig asked him treading cautiously.

 

'W-we had a f-fight,' Harry said quietly.

 

'Did he physically hurt you Harry? Did he hit you?' Craig asked him. Harry lifted his head and met Craig's eyes with a look of shock.

 

'No. N-no he he's not like that! He n-never hit me! W-we argued and I-I left.' Craig hummed choosing not to press Harry on the matter and not telling him that he didn't entirely believe what he was saying.

 

'What did you argue about?' Craig asked as he continued to work on Harry's feet. Harry looked away from him.

 

'It doesn't matter. It just got so bad that I ran out,' Harry said. Craig raised an eyebrow at him.

 

'So bad that you ran out in that storm?'

 

'Yes,' Harry replied. He really didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to sleep for a while and rest then figure out what to do next. He had gotten used to being in a relationship, now he was on his own. Part of him wondered if Louis had meant it when he had told him that if he walked out the door he couldn't go back. But then again, did he want to go back? Go back to sharing Louis with those men and just continue to be the good little submissive that he was? Craig saw the deep pensive look on Harry's face.

 

'Did he throw you out Harry?' Craig asked him. Harry shook his head slowly.

 

'No. I left. I-I left him. He-he warned me not to walk out the door. He warned me that if I did, I couldn't go back,' Harry confessed.

 

'I see,' Craig said. He stopped working on Harry's feet and dried his hands on a small towel. 'Harry why did you call me and not one of your friends? I haven't seen you since that lunch we went to and we ended up on the tabloids. You never contacted me again after that and I was a little bit surprised with the call this morning.' Harry looked at Craig feeling his face heat up.

 

'I-I know and I am so sorry. Things just got complicated.' Craig scoffed as he began picking up the items he had used to clean Harry's feet.

 

'I take it he was not happy? Or am I wrong?' he asked a little sarcastically. Harry remained silent but he looked at Craig and he knew that Craig was like Zayn : he didn't like or trust Louis.

 

'I shouldn't have called you and I'm really sorry I woke you up early and dragged you out of bed to come and help me but I couldn't call my friends.' Harry paused, keeping his eyes on Craig. 'They- they would've told me we told you so.'

 

'Did they? Tell you so?' Harry looked down and he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He felt overwhelmed.

 

'He- he's misunderstood. He's very complex but I understand him. I get what he's about but all the love I gave to him is just not enough. I gave him everything, all the love I could find within me, I gave it to him. I hoped it would soften him, that it would be enough for him to heal, that I would be all that he would need. Love is supposed to heal and fix and mend those that are hurt. If you love them hard enough and give them your heart, they should heal but maybe I did it wrong. Maybe I didn't love him enough or understand him enough. I'm just not enough for him Craig. I made myself believe I would be the one to fix him but he needs...he needs more.....' Harry gulped and choked on his tears as they dripped out of his eyes. He took in a shuddering breath.

 

'He needs more and I tried to give him more. I tried to be what he needs but even my more is not good enough for him. I failed him. I am useless.....'

 

'Hey hey,' Craig stopped him. 'Don't say that. Harry you are good enough. If anything you are much too good for him. Its his loss never yours keep that in mind. You bent yourself backwards for him and I don't know what his problems are but he shouldn't take them out on you and he sure as hell shouldn't make you feel that you are not good enough. He lost a treasure Harry. He lost a blessing. You are good enough and don't ever let him make you feel that you are not. Please don't cry. It doesn't suit you. You should be happy not crying like this,' Craig told him as he ran his hand over Harry's messy, damp curls. Craig got up off the floor and sat next to Harry on the couch and pulled him into a hug. Harry let himself melt into the embrace because he needed it. Craig was big and warm and soft and smelled of clean laundry and Harry allowed Craig to give him the comfort he so much needed. After a while he pulled back, his face streaked with tears and looked at Craig with red wet eyes.

 

'Thank you,' he said hoarsely. Craig wiped at Harry's tears with his thumb.

 

'You don't have to thank me Harry. You know I'm always here for you,' Craig reassured him. He wanted to hug him again and hold him for a little longer. He loved the feel of Harry in his arms and even though he had tried so hard to not develop any feelings for him, he had ever since that day he had entered the ER barely able to walk. He had forced himself to stop thinking about him or wishing something would happen between them because Craig had seen the pictures of Harry and Louis on social media. He knew that they were a couple and he couldn't compare to Louis and that Harry's heart belonged to Louis and as bad as the man was, Harry was hopelessly devoted to him. Craig rubbed his back gently.

 

'Come on. I'll run you a hot bath. I'll get you a change of my clothes and while you bathe I will make you breakfast then you can sleep. My shift starts in two hours. I have a ten hour shift but I will try and leave early so I can come and keep you company okay?' Harry nodded as Craig got up and held out a hand to him which Harry took. Craig led him to his en suite bathroom and filled the bath for Harry then left the room to get him some clothes. When he came back, he knocked and opened the door only to freeze in the doorway at the sight of a naked Harry before him. Harry quickly snatched a towel covering himself and Craig was quick to look away embarrassed.

 

'I'm so sorry. I knocked Harry. Here are your clothes. I'll be in the kitchen,' Craig rushed out in one go then quickly closed the door and left. He rested his back against the door and closed his eyes, exhaling heavily. God, why did he have to see that? Harry was so beautiful and gorgeous and Craig didn't want to have these feeling for him but his heart was racing and his body felt as if it was on fire. Louis was a lucky bastard or had been a lucky bastard because Harry was now free and Craig really wished he could make a move but he knew it wasn't the appropriate time. What Harry needed right now was a friend and peace and comfort and made to feel special and that he was enough and Craig was determined to be to Harry what Louis hadn't been. Louis had been a fool to let him go but Craig was glad for his foolishness. Louis had no idea what he had lost!

 

After a while Harry emerged from the bathroom in fresh clothes that were a little too big on him but he was warmer and entered the kitchen. Craig indicated for him to sit at the small table beside the window. Harry looked outside and the sky was overcast, the clouds the color of lead. Craig placed a plate of scrambled eggs, toasted crumpets and a mug of hot tea in front of him. Harry thanked him and ate in silence while Craig got ready for work. There was an awkward tension between them and they both could feel it.

 

Soon it was time for Craig to leave. He came back into the kitchen and looked at Harry who was still sitting at the table sipping his tea, the uncomfortable silence between them hanging heavy. Craig cleared his throat and Harry looked up at him like a scared deer. Craig felt his heart go out to him because he couldn't even begin to imagine what Harry had been through tonight or the night he came into the ER or other nights that Craig knew nothing about. He had a faint idea of who Louis Tomlinson was especially since after he and Harry had ended up on the tabloids, the harassment had started. The anonymous threatening phone calls. The stalking. Craig knew he was being watched and he was well aware that soon Louis would know that Harry was here. He above all people, didn't want to hurt Harry or make him feel uncomfortable in any way so he made sure not to mention to him that his ex-boyfriend had people watching his every move.

 

'I put fresh sheets on the bed. I only have just one bedroom so feel free to use it unless you want to take the couch which I don't suggest because it is a little uncomfortable. Talking from experience,' he told Harry, giving him a smile and trying to break the awkwardness between them.

 

'Thank you so much and sorry for the inconvenience,' Harry told him, turning his attention back to the tea. Craig walked over and sat in the chair opposite him.

 

'Harry you are not an inconvenience. You did right to call me. I-I am happy you did. I am happy you are here and that I can help you. Please stop saying that. Is there anything you need before I go?' Harry looked at him again.

 

'Can I use your phone just to call Niall and tell him where I am so that he can get me the key to the flat?' Craig nodded and handed him his phone. Harry dialed the number and it went to voicemail, obviously Niall was still asleep. He left him a message asking for the key to the flat but not going into further detail of why he needed the flat in the first place. Harry hung up and gave the phone back to Craig.

 

'Are you sure you will be okay?' Craig asked him. In truth he was worried that Louis would come here and drag him back home but he didn't want to assume anything since he wasn't fully aware of the whole story. Harry was pretty scant in his relaying of what had happened. Still Craig didn't want to make him aware of the fact that he was being followed and watched, avoiding any more worry on Harry.

 

'I'll be fine,' Harry told him. 'I'm just going to sleep and as soon as Niall gets me the key....'

 

'Harry,' Craig stopped him, placing his hand over Harry's. 'I am in no hurry for you to leave. Please don't feel that way.' Harry nodded and Craig got up.

 

'I will see you soon. I'll try and leave early. Feel at home Harry and rest.' Harry nodded and Craig left. When he heard the door close, Harry sighed heavily. He hated being a burden but he had nowhere else to go and there was no way he was going to face his friends now, not until he figured out what to tell them. He got up, put the plate and mug in the sink and went into Craig's bedroom. Harry climbed into the big soft bed, pulled the duvet over him and closed his eyes. He was worn out and succumbed to sleep right away, letting unconsciousness take him away from all his troubles if only for a little while.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis paced the kitchen waiting for the dawn. He was full of caffeine from all the coffee he had been drinking for the past two hours. He looked at his phone and it was almost six in the morning. When the fuck was it going to get lighter outside? He poured himself another coffee unable to shake the cold feeling that had settled inside of him. Harry had been gone for over six hours and Louis had no idea where he was or if he was alright. All he knew was that he had never been this sick with worry before in his life and for the first time he realized that all his money and all the contacts he had throughout the world, could do nothing to change the situation they now found themselves in or find Harry for him.

 

It would be all his fault if Harry was hurt. It would be all his fault if something bad had happened to Harry. It was all his damn fault that all this had gone so horribly wrong. Louis finally realized that Harry had had enough and it was only now that Louis realized how much Harry had been holding inside of him and not telling him anything about his feelings regarding his boys. Marc had warned him that if Harry knew, it would hurt him but Louis had been selfish enough to think that just because Harry had agreed to his terms and conditions that he would be okay with it. He had been greatly mistaken and Louis hadn't taken in consideration Harry's feelings and how hurt he must've been all this time. Had the situation been reversed there was no way in hell Louis would have accepted Harry being with other boys even though it was to help him with a problem he had. Yes, he was selfish and he knew that and his pride and ego were too big for him to succumb to Harry's demands but one thing he was sure of was that he loved Harry. He loved him with a crazy love that was swallowing him whole. Couldn't Harry see that? Couldn't he feel it?

 

Can't you just give up your boys for him? Can't you see that he's hurting? Can't you just get your shit together and choose him?

 

Louis thought about their fight last night and how distraught Harry had been, angry, begging, crying and helpless at the same time. Louis figured that he must've really pushed him to his limits for Harry to break like that. He had never heard him yell or demand or seen him that angry before. Heck he didn't even know that Harry even had it in him! And he had talked about the rape. That was possibly the only good thing that came out of this whole mess, that Harry had finally confronted him with what he had done to him and for that, for that only, Louis was grateful.

 

He looked outside the window and saw that the sky was beginning to get light. He put his mug in the sink, grabbed the car keys and headed outside. As soon as he stepped outside, the cold hit him in the face like a million needles pricking the exposed skin of his face and hands but Louis could careless about the cold. He tread carefully towards the car, the ground beneath his feet was very slippery. As soon as he got into the car, he cranked up the engine and turned on the heat wanting to have the car as warm as possible for when he found Harry. He pulled out of his driveway and headed towards Edgware Road.

 

As soon as he got to Harry's flat, he hopped out of the car and pressed the buzzer hard. He had to be in there! There was nowhere else for him to go!

 

'Harry please open the door or...or at least talk to me. Just let me know that you are okay love. I'm worried sick about you.' Silence. Louis waited then huffed and pressed the buzzer again.

 

'Harry I'm sorry. Let's talk about it please. Yesterday we were both angry. We both said things we didn't mean. I didn't mean any of what I said. Please come back home.' Silence. Louis rested his forehead against the cold intercom and pressed the buzzer again.

 

'Harry baby please please answer me. I need to know you are okay. I understand if you don't want me anymore just please let me know you are alright. Please baby.' Silence. Louis was beginning to feel desperate and scared. Was he not here? If he wasn't here, then where the fuck was he? He pressed the buzzer again.

 

'Harry please,' he whispered. 'Baby please talk to me.'

 

'He's not there,' he heard a voice tell him. Louis looked up and saw a man in the shop doorway two doors down from Harry's flat.

 

'Excuse me?' Louis asked.

 

'Harry. He's not there,' the man told him again. Louis walked towards him.

 

'Where is he? Do you know?' Louis asked him eagerly. The man nodded.

 

'I found him sleeping in my doorway this morning covered in my dirty carpet. He gave me a right scare. I took him inside because he was soaking wet and freezing to the core then he asked me to call someone for him.'

 

'Who? Who did you call?' Louis asked him frantically. The man shrugged.

 

'Don't know who he is but he owns a black BMW and he must be a doctor because he had that sticker on the car that says "Doctor On Call".' Louis froze and ground his teeth together really hard. He felt his stiff cold fingers curl into fists. Harry had called Craig. He hadn't called him or one of his friends! No, he had called that motherfucker. Louis felt all the worry leave him, being replaced by a cold anger so fierce that it made him numb. It made his brain shut down and single focus on one thing only : Harry was with Craig safe and sound while had been worried sick about him. Harry had turned to Craig for help, not to him! He turned away from the man without another word and walked towards his car just as his phone rang. He pulled it out and saw that it was Morrison.

 

'Harry is with Craig. He picked him up this morning.....'

 

'I know,' Louis told him coldly.

 

'Do you want me to go get him Sir?' Morrison asked him. Louis listened for a second.

 

'No. Leave him there,' he told him sharply and hung up. Clearly Harry wanted to be with Craig since he had called that asshole right away and he was going to leave him there. There was no way he was going to go after him and beg him back.

 

Tone down your pride and your ego! Listen to your heart and your heart wants you to go to him.

 

Louis ignored his subconscious. He will be damned if he was going to grovel after him! He had warned him that if he left, there was no going back and Harry had clearly made his decision. He put his phone back in his pocket, got in the car and sped off towards home feeling nothing but anger, sadness and a deep loss inside of him.

 

 

X

 

 

Craig had managed to get off work a few hours earlier. He had only worked a sever hour shift instead of ten. The ER had been fairly quiet with only minor cases of people slipping on ice, breaking a leg or an arm or the occasional minor car accidents because of the slippery roads. On the way home, Craig stopped at Tesco to pick up some things to make soup for Harry. He knew that if Harry's friend got him the key, Harry would want to go home but Craig wouldn't be sending him home on an empty stomach. He will make sure that he eats first before he goes.

 

When he got all that he needed, he headed home feeling excited to see Harry. Craig knew he was being an idiot but he couldn't help his growing feelings for the beautiful boy that was sleeping in his bed. He opened the flat door and it was dark inside. He called out to Harry but he got no reply. He flipped on the lights and put the groceries in the kitchen. Everything was as he had left it this morning. His heart sped up with worry as he walked into his bedroom.....and found Harry still fast asleep. Craig sighed in relief. He decided to let him sleep while he made dinner then wake him up when it was done.

 

As he turned to leave, Craig heard Harry wheeze. His breathing was not right. He hurried over to Harry's side of the bed and flipped on the lampshade that was on the bedside table. Harry was sleeping on his side, his face away from Craig. Craig gently touched his shoulder to turn him over and the wheezing got even worse when Harry was on his back, turning into coughs. Harry opened his eyes a little but it was clear that he was having trouble breathing. Craig quickly sat him up and as soon as he touched him he realized that he was burning with fever.

 

'Fuck!' Craig hissed as he laid Harry down again and felt his forehead. He was burning with fever. His tee shirt was stuck to his skin. Harry was struggling to breathe.

 

'Harry where does it hurt?' Craig asked him. Harry pointed to his chest and coughed again. Craig could read the symptoms. He had seen this a lot of times before.

 

'Harry have you ever suffered from asthma?' Craig asked him and Harry nodded.

 

'Shit!' Craig cursed. He pulled out his phone and dialed the ER. After the first ring his call was picked up. 'I need an ambulance ASAP,' Craig said into the phone. 'I have a possible chest infection and a collapsed lung. Patient has a history of asthma. Unable to breathe. Send the ambulance NOW!' Craig hung up and turned to Harry who was gasping for breath like a fish out of water.

 

'I'm getting you to hospital Harry. Breathe slowly. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you. Just breathe slowly. It's going to be okay,' Craig soothed him, wiping his sweaty forehead and face. He needed to get him to hospital as soon as possible and he only relaxed when he heard the siren of the ambulance approaching.

 

To be continued soon.........................


	20. Fall Of An Empire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to everyone. I apologize for taking so long to update. I was busy writing chapter 29 of this story for Wattpad. I thank you for your patience with me. Also thank you so much for your most welcomed comments and kudos.  
> All the love  
> M

Fall Of An Empire.

 

Every broken piece of me, will always fit with every missing piece of you.

R.M Drake.

 

By the time Louis returned home, he was an emotional wreck. He parked his Range Rover in front of the garage, once again not bothering to garage it. He turned the ignition off and sat in the car, his hands on the steering wheel and rested his forehead on his hands. Harry was gone and this time it felt final. It was final. Louis' heart knew it but his mind was struggling with all that had happened to come to terms with it. Harry had left him. Louis felt his heart ache in his chest, pure pain that made him gasp. Harry had left him and he had gone to Craig. So many thoughts were going through Louis' mind like did Harry even love him anymore? Had Harry ever loved him? Had this whole fight been an excuse because secretly Harry loved Craig and he needed to find an excuse to leave Louis so he could go to Craig?

 

Stop being so paranoid! The boy is so in love with you and you know it. And let's be honest, he's too real and innocent to fake a ten month relationship!

 

Louis beat his fist on the steering wheel. He wasn't being paranoid! It made sense. Why call Craig out of all his friends? Why Craig? Louis felt angry and sad and heartbroken and self pity was creeping in. He had failed Harry. He had taken him for granted and had failed him and broken his heart. Why didn't Harry understand that his boys meant nothing to him? They were just a necessary means for him to keep his anger and frustrations at bay and keep Harry safe! How could Harry even suggest to him that he choose between him and them? There was no fucking choice to be made!

 

He felt used. And not enough for you. You can't blame the boy now can you?

 

Louis' mind threw at him many scenarios. The man from the shop had told him that he had found Harry sleeping in his shop door. He had slept outside in that storm and Louis had driven by that shop many times last night and had failed to find him. If he had...if he had found him, Harry would be here right now, warm in their bed having make up sex and sorting out their problems together. Maybe he was hurt? Maybe that was why he had called Craig! Craig was a doctor after all! But in his heart, Louis knew that wasn't the case. And if he was to be honest with himself, he knew that Harry wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

 

Can you blame the boy for reaching the end of his tether? Let's face it, you pushed him past his limit line. For him to react the way he did, he must be hurt beyond reason.

 

Louis got out of the car, leaving Harry's clothes in the back seat. He felt exhausted. His soul was exhausted. He felt lost without Harry. He needed him so badly right now and he didn't want to go back to a life without him.There was no life before Harry and there would be no life after Harry.

 

Then get rid of your boys. Choose him. Go after him. Fight for him. You are the one that's keeping him away! You are in love with him! This is not some silly crush you have. You. Love. Him! You had a fight. Fix it!

 

Louis went into his study and plucked a bottle of Jamesons from the drinks cabinet and headed upstairs. He pushed open the bedroom door and the pain that assaulted him at the sight of the room nearly brought him to his knees. This bedroom held so many beautiful memories. Louis closed the door behind him and walked across the room and sat down on Harry's side of the bed. His fluffy Spiderman socks were on the floor beside the bed, the book he had been reading "Black Butterfly" by RM Drake was on his bedside table next to his phone, his wallet, his ring. Louis closed his eyes letting the desire of wanting Harry beside him right now eat him up on the inside. He missed him so much! He broke the seal on the bottle, opened it and took a healthy swallow. He didn't care that it was not yet seven in the morning! He was not going to survive the day sober.

 

Louis picked up Harry's pillow and inhaled it deeply. It smelled like him. Of his fucking kiwi shampoo and peach body lotion. He always smelt like a fruit bowl and Louis loved smelling him. He loved how Harry always took his time showering, exfoliating, putting body lotion and pampering himself. He was always so soft and smelled heavenly.

 

'I miss you,' he whispered into the pillow. 'I fucking miss you so much.' He gulped more whiskey from the bottle, wanting the liquid to drown out his sorrow. He pulled his phone out from his back pocket and dialed Marc's number who happened to be in London with Ed. Ed was tying up loose ends before moving to Los Angels with Marc. It rang for a while then a groggy voice answered.

 

'This better be fucking good,' Marc mumbled into the phone. Silence. 'Hello what the fuck? Speak whoever you are!'

 

'He left me,' Louis said in a small voice.

 

'Who is this? Is this some joke?' Marc asked feeling annoyed at having been woken up at dawn.

 

'Marc,' Louis whispered. He heard rustling over the phone.

 

'Louis? Is that you?' Marc asked sounding a little more awake. Then Louis heard him turn away from the phone and speak to Ed. 'No baby I'm okay. Go back to sleep honey its still early. I'll be right back.' Louis heard shuffling and a door close. 'Louis what's wrong? Are you alright?'

 

'He left me,' Louis whispered into the phone.

 

'Who honey? Who left?' Marc asked him trying to wake himself up and make sense of what Louis was saying.

 

'Harry,' he said quietly. 'Harry left me.' Marc jolted awake.

 

'What the fuck did you do to him?' he growled. Louis sighed.

 

'H-he w-wanted me to- to beat him......'

 

'Oh my fucking God. Please tell me you didn't fucking hurt him Louis cos I swear to God I'll come over and beat the living shit out of you myself......'

 

'Marc I didn't,' Louis said, taking another gulp of whiskey. 'I-I didn't touch him. I didn't hurt him that's- that's why he...he left me.' Marc could hear the despair in his voice.

 

'Honey where are you?' Marc asked him.

 

'Home.' Marc sighed heavily.

 

'Give me 30 minutes and I'll be over okay. Don't do anything stupid Lou.' Louis nodded as if Marc could see him then hung up. He let the phone fall to the carpet and took another drink from the bottle. He slid off the bed and sat on the carpet, his back to the bed and continued to drink as he watched the dawn light up the morning sky.

 

 

Louis didn't know how long he had been sitting there before the bedroom door opened and he heard footsteps walking inside.

 

'Harry,' he slurred. 'Harry.' Marc walked over to the side of the bed and found Louis sat there, looking miserable, half the bottle of Jamesons gone.

 

'Louis honey,' Marc breathed when he saw the state he was in. He sat down beside him on the carpet. 'Sweetie its not even 8 am and you're shitfaced. What happened?' Louis tried to focus on his friend but his vision was blurry. He didn't know if they were tears or the effect of the alcohol.

 

'He-he's gone,' he slurred.

 

'Yes you told me that baby but what happened?' Louis took another swig from the bottle.

 

'He-he wanted me to b-beat him,' Louis said and scoffed at the word. 'As if I would lay a fucking finger on him. Doesn't he know how precious he is to me?' Louis asked Marc.

 

'So he left because you didn't beat him? The fuck. I'm confused darling.' Louis chuckled humorlessly.

 

'Harry, he wants me to choose. Between him and my boys. There is no fucking choice Marc,' Louis slurred heavily, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth. 'I love him. I don't love THEM! B-but he won't...he thinks I have feelings for them. So he-he wanted me to beat him and send them away. I can never hurt him Marc. I don't want to hurt him. I want to love him and cuddle him and hold him cos he's my baby. He's my baby....now he's with that motherfucking cunt!' Louis spat the words out as if they were poisonous. Marc rubbed his forehead because Louis was not making any sense and it was still too fucking early for all the drama. .

 

'Louis darling you are not making any sense.' Louis began to giggle.

 

'You are stupid Marc,' he said. Marc rolled his eyes as he reached over Louis and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from his hands snatching it away.

 

'Okay enough of this shit. Its too early in the fucking morning for me to function and this fucking weather is dismal making me feel depressed and what not and you being drunk at this early hour and not making fucking sense is giving me a migraine. Where is Harry?' Louis made grabby hands at the bottle but Marc swatted his hands away. 'Where is Harry?'

 

'With Craig,' Louis spat.

 

'And who the fuck is Craig and how have I not heard of him before now?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'He's that motherfucking doctor who took care of Harry when I hurt him. And he's been after Harry since then. Now he's got him.' Louis stopped and looked towards the window, his eyes filling with tears. 'Now he has my boy and its all my fault. I lost him because I am fucked up. Because I can't be normal and love him like he deserves. Harry's had enough. He's had enough of me and my bullshit and he left me. You were right Marc.'

 

'I am right regarding so many things cher. Can you be a tad more specific about what I was right please?'

 

'I hurt him. He knew what I was doing with my boys. I wasn't fooling him or being discreet. He knew all along and I continued doing it regardless and hurting him in the process and he felt less and not good enough for me and he wanted me to beat him so he could help me, so he could be the only one I need. I just....I couldn't. I...I told him no, no, no but he just kept begging me to....he wanted me to beat him. And I said NO! So we had a big fight and he-he ran out. Ran away. From me. He left me Marc.' The tears rolled down Louis' face but Marc realized that Louis didn't even notice that he was crying. He just stared vacantly, the tears falling from his red eyes. Marc wrapped an arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

 

'You did well not giving in to his pleas and beat him. I am very very proud of you Louis. Yes, he walked out but you didn't hurt him. For once you weren't the selfish son of a bitch you always are. You thought of him first.'

 

'But I lost him,' Louis said quietly, sniffing.

 

'But he's unharmed,' Marc reasoned with him.

 

'But fucking Craig has him now,' he spat. Marc looked into Louis' face and wiped under his eyes with his thumbs.

 

'Darling and you think just because Harry is over at this Craig person's house that he's going to stop loving you or forget you or have sex with him just like that? Sweetheart, that boy adores you. Yes, you had a fight and yes he left. Don't we all go through that? Ed and I have been together for a few months and we fight and he threatens to leave but that ginger teddy bear is all words and no action, well, besides in bed. In bed he's the fucking ginger action man......'

 

'Marc,' Louis groaned covering his ears.

 

'Oh I'm sorry my darling. When it comes to my Ed I get carried away. My point is, Harry is not going to fall out of love with you Louis. It doesn't happen that way. His heart is not a switch that he can turn on and off at will. He just wants to be there for you and he doesn't understand why you won't let him. Maybe its time you let him in...'

 

'No!' Louis stopped him. 'Better to let him go now. He will hate me if I tell him. He will be disgusted by me and it will be harder to watch him go after I tell him everything.' Marc sighed.

 

'Louis, you know Harry is not like that. Baby you are suffering. Just let him in. Get rid of your boys and tell him then you can both live happily ever after. You deserve it sweetheart. If anyone deserves a happy ever after it's you Louis. Let him be the one.' Louis shook his head violently.

 

'Harry is the one that deserves the happy ever after and I can never give him that.'

 

 

X

 

The ambulance sped down the road, its siren blaring loudly informing traffic to get out of the way. Craig sat beside the paramedic in the ambulance that was taking care of Harry. The medic had eased an oxygen mask over Harry's nose and mouth to help him breathe. Craig held his hand because Harry was panicking.

 

'Harry its going to be alright. Just stay calm,' Craig soothed him but Harry was struggling to breathe and kept trying to pull off the mask. 'Harry just breathe,' Craig urged him. 'Leave the mask on love and just breathe through it.'

 

The ambulance stopped suddenly, the horrific sound of the siren cut off. The doors flew open and they were greeted by an ER doctor and nurse. Craig hopped out first as the ambulance attendants lowered the stretcher Harry was on to the ground.

 

'What do we have?' the doctor asked Craig as they began wheeling Harry inside the ER. Craig knew the doctor. He was called Timothy Spencer, the on call doctor at the ER that shift.

 

'Male. 20 years old. From my preliminary examination looks like he's suffering from severe chest infection and a possible collapsed lung. History of asthma.'

 

'How recent is his asthma?' Timothy asked. Craig shook his head.

 

'I don't know.' Timothy looked at him.

 

'How well do you know the patient Craig?' Craig looked at Harry then back at Timothy.

 

'We've been friends for a while. I don't know him that well,' Craig admitted. Timothy sighed.

 

'Craig we need somebody who knows his medical history. Can you get a hold of any family members or close friends?'

 

'I'll try,' Craig told him.

 

'Right,' Timothy told the nurse. 'Let's get a chest X-ray and a CT scan.'

 

'I'm coming with him,' Craig told him but Timothy stopped him.

 

'No you're not! Let us work on him to make him better. You stay here and find any friends or relatives,' he told him. Craig knew that it was useless to argue and standing there arguing was losing precious time in saving Harry. Craig nodded and Timothy left. Craig watched them go then sighed and flopped down in a chair. He didn't know any of Harry's friends. He only knew where Louis lived and he sure as hell wasn't going to Louis. Louis would be the last he'd call on! Then he remembered that Harry had called his friend Niall from his phone so the number was still in his phone. Craig scrolled through the history of calls made and found the one that he was looking for. He tapped the number and he listened to the dial tone. After six rings the call was picked up.

 

'This is the phone of Niall Horan. At the moment he cannot take your call but I am Shawn, his boyfriend how may I be of service?' said the cheerful voice through the phone.

 

'Um yeah hi this is um Craig Blake. I'm a friend of Harry's. I need to speak to Niall please,' Craig said into the phone.

 

'A friend of Harry's?' Shawn asked sounding a bit skeptical because Shawn had been introduced to the group months ago and he was fairly sure that he hadn't been introduced to a Craig Blake. Craig sighed.

 

'Look....Shawn. I'm a doctor. I met Harry a few months ago and he's well he's in hospital right now so if I could just please to talk to Niall. Its kinda urgent.'

 

'Oh my God is he alright? What happened?' Shawn asked. Then his voice went off the phone and Craig heard him call out. 'Niall honey you need to come and take this baby. It's Harry. He's in hospital.' Craig heard a lot of sounds through the phone then Niall's voice.

 

'Hello this is Niall. Who is this?'

 

'Hi Niall. I am Harry's friend and doctor Craig Blake. He was admitted a while ago.....'

 

'Is he hurt?' Niall cut him off.

 

'It might be a chest infection from a severe cold. I don't know I'm not sure yet. My examination of him wasn't thorough. I need to know his medical condition regarding asthma. He told me he suffers from asthma and we can't treat him.....'

 

'I'm on my way now,' Niall told him.

 

'Wait Niall,' Craig stopped him. 'Please tell me when was the last time he had an asthma attack? Was it recent?'

 

'No um no I don't think so. I mean the last real bad asthma attack he had was maybe um when he was round 17 or 18. It was shortly before I left for Uni. I remember because he had been hospitalized then so yeah must've been when he was almost 18. I don't recall him having had another attack since then. He's always had shortage of breath and he stays away from people that smoke because he says it makes it hard for him to breathe. He also runs to control his breathing. I mean he keeps himself fit. Did he have one? An asthma attack?' Niall asked sounding worried.

 

'We don't know yet. He's having trouble breathing. It could be from the chest infection or the collapsed lung.....'

 

'Collapsed lung?' Niall nearly screamed down the phone. 'What the hell happened to him?'

 

'Calm down. He's in good hands. I'll explain everything once you get here.' Craig hung up and went to find Dr. Spencer to relay the news about Harry's medical condition.

 

X

 

On the way to the hospital, Niall made Shawn call Liam and Zayn and tell them the news about Harry. Niall was impatient at every red light and kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, revving the engine. Shawn placed his hand over his.

 

'Please Niall calm down and be careful. I'm sure Harry is alright.'

 

'Why is not Louis with him? Where the fuck is Louis and who is this Craig guy? I don't know him. Where did he come from? Why was he the one to take Harry to the hospital? What the fuck is going on?' Shawn sighed. He could understand Niall's frustrations because Shawn knew how much Niall loved Harry.

 

'Baby, you will get all your answers as soon as we get to the hospital. Just get us there safely okay,' Shawn told him, placing his hand on Niall's thigh, rubbing soothing circles to keep him calm, which seemed to help. Niall gave him a small smile.

 

'Thank you love,' Niall told him. Finally they got to the hospital and rushed in. They didn't know who to look for but they didn't have to look for long before a guy approached them.

 

'Niall?' he asked. Niall turned to him and nodded. 'Hi I'm Craig,' he said as he held out his hand for Niall which Niall took and shook. He introduced Shawn.

 

'Where is Harry? How is he?' Niall asked him.

 

'He's still in there but they won't let me in,' he told them.

 

'How did he end up here and where is Louis? Does Louis know he's here?' It was then that Craig told them all that Harry had told him, about the fight and how he had left Louis and ran away into the storm and how he had slept outside all night, which was why he probably had a chest infection. Niall ran a hand through his hair.

 

'Jesus fucking Christ he slept outside in that storm? And Louis let him leave? What the fuck man?' Niall yelled. Shawn was quick to quiet him down seeing they were in the ER.

 

'That's why I didn't ask you to call Louis,' Craig said. 'I don't think Harry would want him here.'

 

'But he has to know,' Niall said. 'He's probably worried sick about him.' Niall took out his phone and dialed Louis' number. Craig ground his teeth together but said nothing. He didn't want Louis here. That man was bad for Harry! Niall kept the phone to his ear but it kept ringing then went to voicemail.

 

'Where the fuck is he? Why is he not answering his fucking phone?' Shawn rubbed his back gently.

 

'I know you're worried baby but please stay calm. It won't do much for you to lose your shit right now. We have to be strong for Harry.' Niall sighed and gave Shawn a small smile. Just then Liam and Zayn rushed into the ER. Niall spotted them and waved them over.

 

'What happened?' Liam asked.

 

'Where's Harry?' Zayn asked at the same time. Niall ran a hand through his hair nervously.

 

'He's still in there. We don't know anything yet. This is Craig....his um doctor friend,' Niall told him and Liam and Zayn shook hands with him. In short, Niall told them all that Craig had told him about what had happened to Harry. Liam looked at Craig.

 

'So he called you instead of Louis?' he asked him and Craig nodded.

 

'It must have been a bad fight. Harry was very vague about it. I took him to my apartment and got him sorted. He was cold as ice. I could hardly get his circulation to work back at the shop. I was scared because his lips were literally blue. Then I left for work though I didn't do the full shift as I was worried about him and when I got back home well, he wasn't well at all. He was burning up with fever and coughing and complaining of chest pains. That's when I called for an ambulance.' Liam, Zayn and Niall looked at each other.

 

'Why would Harry run off into the storm?' Liam asked. Zayn scoffed.

 

'Unless Louis kicked him out!' Liam glared at him.

 

'The fuck Zayn! You think Louis would kick him out in that storm?' Zayn shrugged.

 

'I wouldn't put anything past him to be honest.' Niall glared at him.

 

'Dude, how can you say that? Louis wouldn't hurt him.'

 

'It wouldn't be the first time,' Craig said. All eyes were on him.

 

'What do you mean by it wouldn't be the first time?' Liam asked him annoyed. It was then that Craig realized he had said something he shouldn't have.

 

'I...no I mean.....'

 

'Do you know something we don't?' Niall pressed him. Craig began to feel uncomfortable with their stares. He scratched his goatee absentminded.

 

'I don't think I should say anything, since well you clearly don't seem to know. I mean Harry clearly didn't tell you.....'

 

'You better start talking,' Niall told him. 'Did Louis ever hurt Harry? What do you know that we don't?' Craig sighed heavily and looked from Niall to Shawn to Liam to Zayn then rested his eyes back on Niall.

 

'A few months ago, Harry came into the ER early in the morning. It was when I first meet him. I was the doctor on call that morning so I saw to him. He...he could barely walk or stand.....'

 

'Yeah yeah I remember,' Niall interrupted him. 'It was when he slipped on ice and hurt his back.' Craig gave him a sympathetic look.

 

'He um didn't slip on ice Niall,' Craig told him slowly and he watched their expectant faces. 'Harry had been beaten and....raped,' he told them. He saw their eyes go wide, their mouths open but nothing come out. He saw the shock, the disbelief and the confusion.

 

'That's not fucking possible!' Niall exclaimed. 'Louis wouldn't! He just wouldn't!' Shawn held him because he could see that Niall was becoming upset, his eyes filling with tears. Craig took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'He had ligature marks around his wrists and ankles meaning he had been tied up. He had at least twenty lashes on the back of his bum and back of the thighs some of which were bleeding from the force of the hits where the leather had broken the skin. When I examined him internally there was trauma due to forced and rough penetration.' Liam gasped and placed a hand over his mouth. Niall felt his knees give and flopped down in a chair with Shawn wrapping a hand around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. Zayn held Liam but he didn't seem perturbed by what Craig was saying to them.

 

'No,' Niall said shaking his head. 'Louis wouldn't. He loves him. He is so protective of him.' Liam looked at Craig with shiny wet eyes.

 

'D-did Harry tell you all this?'

 

'Harry denied it. He kept telling me that he hadn't been raped but I've seen the signs before and they were all there. I know its not easy for a man to admit rape and Harry was...well he was protecting Louis.'

 

'But you have no proof it was Louis!' Niall snapped at him.

 

'Who else could it be?' Zayn asked. 'Harry is always with Louis. Always. And if someone had raped Harry, Louis would've been out for their blood don't you think? And we would've known he had been raped because Louis would've told us.'

 

'Zayn we don't know for sure what happened!' Liam snapped at him. Zayn looked at him shocked.

 

'Are you deaf? He's a doctor! He's telling you what happened!' Liam glared at him angrily.

 

'Well with all due respect to Dr. Craig here, there is no proof Louis raped Harry. Zayn you've seen how protective he is of Harry. Do you think he'd hurt him like that?'

 

'I've also seen him pissed at Harry and Harry was terrified shitless of him. I've also seen what goes on at Garlands.' Liam rolled his eyes.

 

'Here we go again! I don't want to hear this.' Liam told him as he turned away from Zayn but Zayn grabbed his arm above the elbow and turned Liam around to face him a little too roughly.

 

'But you are going to listen Liam! Why do you think I don't trust Louis huh? Half the boys at Garlands have a signed NDA with him. I have seen boys walking out of VIP after a session with him unable to walk. Unable to sit or even fucking stand up straight. I have seen them put on a brave face to avoid crying. I don't know what the fuck he does to them or what they signed up for but its not good whatever it is.' There was a moment of silence then Niall shook his head.

 

'I'm sure Louis wouldn't hurt Harry. There must be an explanation for it. There must be a mistake. I'll call Louis and tell him to come down here.......'

 

'We can't just ask him!' Liam interrupted him. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 'Look, let's wait for Harry to be better than we ask him yeah. We will talk to Harry first because I'm sure there is a valid reason for all of this.' Zayn chuckled.

 

'A valid reason for what Liam? For the beating Harry got? For being raped? There is no fucking valid reason except that that man is a sadistic fuck and he hurt Harry and we are here arguing and trying to make excuses for him.' Niall stood up abruptly.

 

'Zayn Liam is right. We need to talk to Harry first. We can't just accuse Louis of rape!' Craig cleared his throat.

 

'He will deny it. I tried talking to him but he will simply deny it.' Niall glared at him.

 

'So what are we supposed to do? Take your word for it and accuse Louis of beating and raping him? I refuse to believe that Louis would do that to Harry. He wouldn't! You don't know us and we don't know you. You don't know Harry and you sure as fuck don't know Louis. He dotes on that boy so we will do this our way. We will talk to our friend first and if he admits to it, then we will talk to Louis.' Zayn scoffed.

 

'And you think Harry will ever say a word against Louis? He's so far up his ass.....'

 

'Zayn!' Liam stopped him sternly. 'Enough. We have enough to deal with here right now. Let's take it one thing at a time shall we?' Zayn shrugged.

 

'Whatever,' he said feeling slightly angry at the way Liam was shrugging him off and refusing to listen to what he was saying.

 

'Look,' Craig said as he felt bad about the tension he had clearly created between Harry's friends. 'I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you this. I thought Harry had told you about it but if I may offer my opinion, I think it would be safe to keep him away from Louis for the time being. He told me he left but we don't know if Louis kicked him out. Don't call him yet. Let Harry make that decision.' They all looked at each other then Niall looked at Craig.

 

'He needs to know Harry is in hospital. He is his boyfriend after all and we are going to be here so he will be safe. Its not like we will be leaving Harry alone with him. I still can't believe he told me that he had slipped on ice!' Shawn squeezed his thigh.

 

'I'm sure he has his reasons love,' he told Niall quietly. Niall leaned in and kissed Shawn's lips softly.

 

'Thank you for keeping me sane and calm.' Shawn kissed him back softly and slowly, squeezing his hand gently. Zayn sat down on a chair away from Liam. He couldn't take anymore from arguing with Liam and he couldn't understand why Liam had to be so stubborn. Just then, an ER doctor came over to them, approaching Craig.

 

'How is he?' Craig asked him. Niall, Liam, Zayn and Shawn crowded round them. Craig introduced Dr. Spencer to Harry's friends.

 

'At the moment he is not too good. He has a chest infection and a partial collapsed lung. He also has some fluid in the other lung which is why he was coughing and wheezing. His bronchial tubes are a little swollen. We have to keep him here to have him monitored. He is likely to have asthma attacks and we need to keep an eye on the fluids in his lungs. If it increases we will need to drain it to avoid inflammation of the lungs and bronchial tubes. Thank God you brought him in right away. We caught it right at the start.'

 

'Will he be alright?' Niall asked him worried.

 

'We will give him antibiotics and keep him monitored like I said especially for the fluid in his lungs. He's having a little difficulty breathing on his own at the moment so he has an oxygen mask to help facilitate his breathing and not put extra stress on his good lung.'

 

'Can we see him?' Liam asked him. The doctor nodded.

 

'We just need to get him settled into a room and hook him up on antibiotics. We don't want to risk a pulmonary infection. Then you can see him okay.' They all thanked him and sat back down, Niall collapsing in Shawn's arms and Liam and Zayn sitting as far away from each other as possible, Zayn sulking and Liam looking pissed off. Craig sat down on his own, waiting. Niall looked at Shawn.

 

'He wouldn't hurt him would he?' he asked him quietly. Shawn squeezed Niall's hand.

 

'From what I saw those three weeks we were with them on the yacht cruise, I don't think Louis would lift a finger to him let alone beat him and....No Niall I don't think so. I'm pretty sure there's a valid explanation for all this. Louis adores Harry. I can't see him being mean to him.' Niall looked at Shawn as if he was seeing the sun itself. He threw himself at him and hugged him tightly to his chest.

 

'Thank you for that. God I'm so confused and worried but you...you make it alright for me.' He pulled back. 'I love you,' he told him as he placed a kiss on his lips. Shawn's eyes went wide and a smile split his face.

 

'You do?' Niall smirked at him.

 

'I do. I think I do. I feel like I do. Is it bad that I said it?' Niall asked him frowning a little. It was the first time that he had actually said the words out loud to Shawn. Shawn giggled.

 

'I love you too idiot,' he told him. Niall sighed in relief.

 

'Do you think I should try Louis again? He needs to that know Harry is in hospital.' Shawn nodded.

 

'Yes he does. Whatever happened between them, he needs to know.' Niall pecked his lips loving how supportive his boyfriend was and dialed Louis' number.

 

 

X

 

 

Marc was on the landing just outside Louis' bedroom door talking to Ed who had just arrived at the house a few minutes ago.

 

'I'm sorry I left you like that this morning baby. He needs me. He's in a pretty bad way. He's shitfaced and its not even ten in the fucking morning. I have been forcing coffee down his throat by the buckets.'

 

'What happened?' Ed asked concerned. Marc sighed heavily.

 

'From what I can gather they had a fight and Harry just left. Ran out into the storm and simply left.' Ed's eyes went wide behind his black framed glasses.

 

'Harry left him? That's a bit far fetched. Harry wouldn't leave him!' Marc shrugged.

 

'Its what he told me. Amongst other things........'

 

'What other things?' Ed asked. Marc reached out and rubbed Ed's arms up and down.

 

'Baby, there are some things I cannot share with you but you have to trust me. Louis....Louis is a complicated man. I have known him for a long time. He was my lover and now he's my best friend. It takes a lot for him to trust people and he trusts me. I don't want to break his trust by airing his dirty laundry. I am his laundry basket where he keeps his dirty shit and I can't spill. Not even to you my ginger teddy.' Ed cupped Marc's face in both his hands.

 

'I respect that and its very noble of you to not break his trust since he's put it in you.'

 

'You make it sound so dirty,' Marc chuckled. Ed leaned in and brushed Marc's lips.

 

'Hmmm I like getting dirty with you,' he whispered against his lips. Marc smiled.

 

'God you're hot when you talk dirty,' Marc said, his eyes glistening with mischief. Ed kissed him, plunging his tongue into his mouth, pushing him back till Marc's back was against the wall. Marc wrapped his arms around Ed's neck and pulled him in deeper. Ed pushed his hips forward right into Marc's groin making him whimper but Marc pulled back breaking the kiss. He placed his hands on Ed's chest and pushed him back.

 

'Babe as much as I want to do the dirty with you, right now is not the time. I have to take care of Louis.' Ed pouted playfully.

 

'But I want my daddy,' he whined. Marc kissed his lips softly.

 

'Be a good boy for daddy and go and tell the nice lady in the kitchen to make more coffee then maybe daddy will reward you tonight,' he told him with a wink. Ed placed a kiss on Marc's nose.

 

'Yes daddy,' he told him and hurried off downstairs, whistling as he went. Marc let out a deep breath.

 

'I swear to God that boy's gonna kill me,' he told himself as he pushed open the door to the bedroom and walked inside only to be greeted by disaster. Louis was raiding the closet, pulling out all of Harry's clothes and throwing them on the floor helter skelter.

 

'You fucking left me. No need for these. I will fucking burn them all. I will fucking burn your existence out of my fucking life you motherfucker!' Louis was yelling to the clothes he was pulling off the coat hangers and throwing to the floor. Marc gasped as he saw all Harry's designer clothes thrown to the floor. He felt as if he was going to pass out!

 

'Louis Louis my darling stop! Stop! What the fuck are you going?' But Louis didn't stop. He pulled out a YSL shirt off the coat hanger gripping it by the neck and pulling, ripping it, the buttons flying everywhere.

 

'I'm destroying all his shit like he destroyed me.' Marc tried to take the clothes out of his hand feeling his heart being ripped out when he saw those clothes being mistreated.

 

'Louis baby calm down. The clothes shouldn't get the blame for your wrath. They are innocent. Look at them. They are defenseless. Let me defend them.' Louis glared at him.

 

'Fuck off. Leave me alone. I'm going to burn all his stuff.'

 

'And what are you going to get out of that hmm? The most you can get is the fire department at your door and maybe if you're lucky a hot fire fighter who will put out your fire. Listen to me Lou Lou.....'

 

'Get the fuck out of my face!' he yelled while ripping up another Gucci shirt in half. Marc felt as if he was going to pass out. Louis pulled out one of Marc's suits that Harry had worn to the modeling show. Marc managed to grab it out of his hands.

 

'Oh no you fucking don't! Not one of mine. I will not let you mistreat and violate one of my babies.' Louis lunged at him.

 

'Give it back!' But Marc held the suit away from Louis.

 

'Nah uh! Not until you calm the fuck down! You look like a demented chihuahua right now, foaming at the mouth and yipping instead of barking.' Louis' face contorted with rage.

 

'Who the fuck you calling a chihuahua you fucking mongrel? I'll break you in half.....'

 

'Yeah yeah yeah keep yapping.' Louis tried to reach for the suit again but Marc held it back.

 

'Seriously Louis? I know you're hurt and angry and if you calm down and be civil we can work through this. I don't see how tearing up Harry's wonderful clothes is going to do anything positive for you. I am going to put this beautiful baby down and you are going to fucking back away and not touch it alright?' Louis was panting hard, his hands curled into fists. In all honesty Marc thought he looked more like a pitbull but he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of telling him so! Louis backed up and away from Marc and sat down on the edge of the bed. Marc blew out a breath in relief and ever so carefully and gently hung up Harry's suit again then went and sat down near Louis.

 

'You know when Harry comes back and finds most of his clothes ruined he's not going to be happy,' Marc told him. Louis kept his eyes on the carpet.

 

'He's not coming back!' Marc wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

 

'Honey, you guys had an argument. All couples do. There is no relationship that doesn't have its fair share of yelling matches, slammed doors, walk outs and sleeping on couches but its nothing that can't be fixed if two really love each other and you and Harry......'

 

'I told him not to fucking come back. I threatened him!' Marc's eyes went wide.

 

'You did what now? You threaten your partner while having an argument? Hashtag caveman!' Marc sighed heavily. 'What did you threaten him with?' Louis rubbed a hand over his face. He looked tired and weary.

 

'I told him that if he sets one foot out the door, we're done, that there was no coming back and that I wasn't going after him.' Marc stared at him in disbelief.

 

'Are you like fucking with me right now? You have a fight over such delicate matters and you threaten him like that? That boy is sensitive Louis. He feels things emotionally ten times more than we do. How have you not learned that in all this time you've been together? Last night he was in a delicate state, a state you should've been sensitive to and you made it worse by threatening him and putting down laws? What in fuck's name were you thinking? He had nowhere to go out in that storm Louis!'

 

'I went out to look for him!' Louis yelled. 'I looked all night.' Marc gave him an annoyed look.

 

'And how did that work out for you? Honestly, did you expect him to call you after the shit you pulled?' A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Marc got up and opened the door to find Ed with a tray with coffee mugs. Marc smiled at him.

 

'Come in sweetheart. We could all do with some coffee.' Louis raised his head and saw Ed walking in with the tray.

 

'What is he doing here?' he asked gruffly. Marc raised an eyebrow at him.

 

'Don't you even think about taking it out on my baby. He is here to lend me his moral support cos God knows I need it when it comes to dealing with you.' Marc sat back down next to Louis and Ed handed them each a mug of coffee.

 

'He's gone,' Louis whispered.

 

'You pushed him out the door,' Marc told him calmly as he took a sip of his coffee. Louis glared at him.

 

'He decided to leave. He made that choice on his own.'

 

'You gave him no fucking choice Louis. Stop being selfish!' Louis stood up and looked down on Marc, his face contorted in anger.

 

'I did give him a fucking choice and he chose to leave. HE. LEFT. ME!' Marc stood up too and glared at Louis.

 

'Because you are a fucking asshole and you drove him away like you drive everyone away!' Ed got between them.

 

'Okay okay let's take a breather shall we,' he told them as they both glared at each other. Louis sat down heavily on the bed. He knew Marc was right. He had voiced it out. It was his fault.

 

'Get out both of you,' he said quietly.

 

'No Louis you don't get to push me away, not after you drag me here to help you.' Marc sat down next to him and took his hand in his. Louis tried to pull it out of his grasp but Marc held it fast. 'I'm sorry I said its your fault. I'm sure that in the heat of the moment you both said and did things you didn't mean. We have to fix this Louis but unless you trust Harry, you will never be able to get past this. It will always be the pink elephant in the room.' Louis shook his head.

 

'I can't. You know I can't.' Marc took in a deep patient breath because damn Louis was stubborn.

 

'Honey being in a relationship means putting all your walls down, stripping your soul bare naked and trusting your partner to have your back. Its not all roses and rainbows and your relationship with Harry has been so far from that. But the boy loves you so so much....'

 

'I don't want him back,' Louis said, his voice cold as ice. 'It's done.'

 

'Louis you don't mean that,' Marc said. 'Since you've been with Harry you have changed so much sweetie.' Marc stopped and looked around the room. 'What is that irritating vibrating noise? I've been hearing it on and off for ages!' Ed was quick to search the room and found that it was Louis' phone vibrating. He picked it up off the carpet and handed it to Marc. He answered it.

 

'Hello. This is Marc speaking.' he paused and listened. 'Oh hello Niall. I'm afraid Louis can't come to the phone right now.' He paused again. 'You can tell me sweetie I will relate the urgent news to him.' Louis looked up at Marc, his eyes on him. He saw Marc's face pale.

 

'What is it?' Louis asked him urgently. 'Marc give me the fucking phone. Is it Harry?' Marc got up and continued to listen then after a while he hung up and looked at Louis, his face ashen.

 

'Yes Louis, its Harry,' he said quietly and Louis felt his whole world tip off its axis and spin sideways, going dark. He wanted to ask what was the matter but the fear inside him was to great. He could hear Marc and Ed frantically talking to him but their voices sounded far away and all he could think was "Harry". He felt himself being shaken and he managed to focus on Marc.

 

'Louis, he's in hospital,' Marc told him gently. 'Niall said he's sick. A chest infection. A partial collapsed lung and a bronchitis infection. His asthma is playing up........' Louis wriggled himself free from Marc's grasp.

 

'I have to go to him. I have to go to my baby,' he said looking around for his shoes. 'He needs me. I have to be there. Where the fuck are my shoes?' Marc grabbed him from his shoulders.

 

'Baby calm down. Take a deep breath for me. Ed and I will take you to the hospital. Are you sober?' Louis looked at him as if Marc was speaking another language.

 

'Yes I'm fucking sober! The fuck! Get me there. My baby needs me.'

 

 

x

 

Niall sat beside Harry's bed, looking at his best friend as he lay asleep in the hospital bed. Shawn sat beside him, holding him and comforting him. Harry wore a white hospital gown and he looked rather pale. He had the oxygen mask on and attached to him was a heart monitor that beeped a steady rhythm in the silent hospital room. He had an IV in his left arm, dripping antibiotics into him. His fever was still high and every half an hour a nurse came to check up on him, taking his temperature, blood pressure, checking his heart rate and oxygen. The doctor was supposed to do another CT scan in a few hours to check his pulmonary and respiratory systems, the fluid in his lungs and his bronchial tubes. He looked peacefully asleep.

 

Zayn and Liam had had another argument and had left a while ago, Liam in tears and Zayn cursing everyone to hell and back. Craig was coming and going, checking Harry's vitals with the nurse and bringing them news of his progress. For the short while they had been in Craig's company, Niall could tell that he was a sincerely good guy who had only the best intentions regarding Harry.

 

Niall had his head on Shawn's lap. He felt tired and exhausted in ways that sleep could not fix. He was worried about Harry and was deeply upset about what Craig had told them. He couldn't and wouldn't believe that Louis would hurt Harry but that was a matter for another day. The important thing was that now Harry got better. A commotion from outside the room brought Niall's head up and look at the closed door. It opened suddenly and Louis entered followed by Ed and Marc. As soon as his eyes fell on Harry he stopped in his tracks and his hand flew to his mouth. His eyes filled with tears as he took in the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, the IV, the heart monitor beeping softly and Harry in that stupid ugly hospital gown, in that stupid hospital bed covered with those sterile white sheets. They had pulled his hair up in a bun but it wasn't the way that Harry liked it. It was messy and not in a good way. He looked pale and flushed and sweaty and his lips were cracked. Louis made a choking sound in his throat as he took a step closer to the bed.

 

'Baby,' he whispered. He didn't hear the others silently exiting the room, leaving him alone with Harry. Louis took Harry's hand in both of his and it felt frail and cold. It was so pale that the veins stood out a greenish color underneath the surface of his skin. 'Sweetheart its me,' Louis said softly but Harry remained asleep. Louis gently raised Harry's limp hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

 

'I'm so sorry baby for everything I said. I didn't mean to make you leave. This is all my fault. If anything happens to you....' he stopped because he couldn't speak due to the hard lump in his throat. A tear slid down his cheeks. He sat in the chair Niall had vacated and kept holding Harry's hand, not taking his eyes off of him. Louis watched intently the rise and fall of Harry's chest, the point where the needle of the IV pierced his sensitive skin and listened to the beeping machine. He did not even know that Harry had asthma! What kind of boyfriend was he? What else did he not know about Harry? Again Louis kissed his hand.

 

'Please be better. We'll make it work Harry I promise. I will fix everything and I swear I won't ever hurt you again. I will do my best to be the best for you. I am so sorry I'm such a dickhead. I'm sorry I fail you every time. I will change for you. Please please just get better.' Louis continued to talk to Harry but Harry just slept.

 

After a while of him sitting there, Marc pushed open the door and signaled for Louis to step outside. Reluctantly Louis got up, kissed Harry on the forehead, which burned with fever and stepped outside in the corridor. Ed handed him a cup of coffee.

 

'How are you holding up?' Marc asked him. Louis took a sip of the hot coffee, welcoming the warmth that caressed his dry throat.

 

'I'm alright. You guys should go get some rest. I'm going to get them to move him into a private suite. I don't want him down here with everyone sick around him.' Marc rolled his eyes.

 

'Honey this is a hospital not the Hilton! It caters for sick people.' Louis looked at him with a blank stare.

 

'What's the point you're trying to make? I want him in a private suite. On his own. I want the best care for him and I will make sure he will get it.' He looked down. 'Its- its the least I can do for him after....' Marc put a hand on his shoulder.

 

'If it eases your guilt a little, then do it but putting him in a private suite won't fix your situation. You know what you have to do to make everything better right?' Marc asked him giving him a knowing look. Louis gave him a tight nod but said nothing. He knew he couldn't get rid of his boys and not beat Harry. He didn't want to beat Harry but if he got rid of his boys what would he do? He shrugged the thought away not having any energy to think about that now. Marc squeezed his shoulder.

 

'We're just gonna go get something to eat and have a rest then we'll be back okay. Niall and Shawn went to get breakfast. If you need anything, anytime just call okay?' Louis nodded and Marc placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'It will be alright Louis. No problem ever comes to us without a solution.'

 

When they were gone and Louis found himself alone, he walked to the nurses station and asked for Harry to be moved into a private suite. He demanded that he get the best one that has the necessary accommodations to make him better and he demanded the best team of doctors to see to him. His demands where happily seen to and they began the preparations of moving Harry to the top floor suites. Louis over looked everything till the very last detail. He wasn't going to take any risks or shortcuts where Harry was concerned.

 

As they were about to move Harry, Louis saw Craig approaching him at a fast pace and he rolled his eyes bracing himself to deal with this asshole.

 

'What are you doing here?' Craig demanded not bothering to hide his disdain for the man.

 

'Its none of your concern now get the fuck out of my face,' Louis told him not bothering likewise to hide his dislike for the man. Just then Harry was rolled out of the room in the bed he was in and Louis looked at him tenderly, brushing a hand over his hair as they passed him by. Craig stopped the nurse.

 

'Where are you taking him?' he asked her. The nurse looked from him to Louis.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson requested that Mr. Styles be moved up to a private suite,' she told him. Craig gaped at her.

 

'He can't be moved. Who gave you the authority to move him?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'I spoke with his doctor which clearly isn't you so you don't get to make any decisions where Harry is concerned,' Louis told him. He motioned for the team to go ahead and move Harry which they did without further delay. Craig shook his head in disbelief and looked at Louis.

 

'You think just because you are rich you can manipulate everybody blinding them with money.' It wasn't a question but a statement. Louis remained calm and shrugged.

 

'Where money is concerned its amazing what people can and will do for you,' he told him, his voice icily cold. Craig chuckled.

 

'Just like you blinded and manipulated Harry,' Craig threw at him. This made Louis react and not in a good way.

 

'You know shit about Harry and me,' he hissed at him. Craig gave him a sarcastic smile.

 

'I know more than you think. Harry loves you so much and you don't deserve him. You treat him like you own him, like an object and you make him feel that he's okay to be treated that way.' Louis took a step closer to him.

 

'You don't fucking know him so stop speaking as if you do!' Craig kept looking in his eyes.

 

'I do know him. I know he's unhappy because he feels like he's not good enough for you. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong in your relationship rather than point an accusing finger at you and I know you tied him down, beat him and raped him.' Craig saw the shock flit across Louis' face like a dark shadow so before Louis could speak, he continued:

 

'Obviously I forced him to tell me who his rapist was but Harry wouldn't say anything at all. That day when he came into the ER, he was in pretty bad shape and when I examined him, from my preliminary examinations of the trauma he suffered, I saw that he had been tied at the wrists and ankles very tightly possibly with something made of leather. Cuffs perhaps. He was beaten with a strap of leather, a belt maybe, thick, 3 inches wide. The lashes were rained down on him from someone who's right handed and harbors a lot of suppressed anger. I could tell the anger in those hits by the way the skin broke and bled. At first I thought it could be BDSM. You know many people like that sort of thing but I put it out of my mind right away. It doesn't get that far in BDSM because they have safe words. Clearly Harry didn't have one or was afraid to use it or if he had one and he used it, it had been ignored. Then I examined him internally and that's where I came to my final conclusion that he had been raped. The trauma there was extensive and showed forced and rough penetration. His injuries were pretty bad and all symptoms indicated rape.' Craig kept looking into Louis' eyes letting him know that he knew, that he had drawn up his conclusions. Louis remained silent not daring to say anything. He had to admit that this had shocked him and made him feel uneasy but then again it was only Craig's word against his own. Craig gave him a small self satisfactory smile, glad to see that he had been right in his assumptions.

 

'I drove Harry home that day because he had no one to pick him up and for some reason I didn't quite understand, he didn't want to call his friends. I came to see him often and we slowly became friends. I tried to get him to admit that he had in fact been raped but he denied it so it was easy for me to come to the conclusion that he was in fact protecting the person that had violently beat him and raped him. And today, I further confirmed my suspicions when I learned that he never told his friends what had happened to him but instead he had told them that he had slipped on ice, which now makes sense to me as to why he didn't want to call them that day to pick him up from the hospital. It all makes perfect sense now and fits like a puzzle. He was protecting you wasn't he?' Craig asked him. Louis swallowed hard.

 

'You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. You can't just accuse me of things based on what you assume and what pieces of your imaginary puzzle you put together.' Craig chuckled.

 

'Oh I can assure you that it is not imaginary or simple assumptions. You see, when I was examining Harry, he still had fluids inside of him from the person that had raped him and I took the sample for DNA, you know just in case Harry decided to press charges. He would need proof along with my testimony of my examination. That would be enough to bring the person that raped Harry to justice should Harry want it.' Craig paused and took a step closer to Louis. 'So as you see, Mr. Tomlinson, I have your DNA. So unless you want me to go to the police and report you, you are going to listen to what I have to say.'

 

Louis was tense, his hands curled into fists by his side. He wanted to beat this piece of shit but he couldn't because he had one over him. If Craig went to the police with this, he would be screwed. He remained rigid and silent, his eyes staring daggers into Craig.

 

'Good. We understand each other. Here is what you are going to do Mr. Tomlinson. You are going to walk out of this hospital and never come back. You are going to leave Harry alone. Forget he exists. He doesn't need a person like you in his life. He needs somebody who understands him, loves him and treats him as an equal, as a human being and not as owned property. Harry needs somebody who treats him delicately and takes care of him not someone who is his walking, breathing living nightmare.'

 

'Someone like you?' Louis spat out.

 

'Possibly yes. I am hoping to give Harry what you haven't given him in terms of love, care and affections and if he doesn't want me as a partner then I will respect his decision and be his best friend because Harry needs to be surrounded by a stress free environment and by lots of love and acceptance. He needs to feel free and not trapped in a toxic relationship with somebody he's afraid of.'

 

'He is free,' Louis said through gritted teeth. Craig chuckled.

 

'Is he? Is that why you had me followed and constantly threatened by anonymous phone calls simply because I took him out to lunch? Oh I know Mr. Tomlinson. I am not a fool. I half expected you to send your lacky to my apartment yesterday and have him drag Harry back by the hair screaming and kicking. I was scared to leave him alone at my apartment. Scared that you would send someone for him. I took half of my shift off just to go and be with him and not leave him alone. Of course I spared you the embarrassment of telling him how you stooped so low as to have me watched because I didn't want him to be hurt because he would've been hurt by this if he knew. He trusts you but you don't trust him. You're afraid he will leave you and you should be because you have done nothing but hurt him and quite frankly I am glad he left you. I'm not happy that he ran all night in that storm and slept outside and ended up here but I'm glad he left you. He needs to start living. He is only twenty years old and you put him through hell already. You traumatized him and he needs to heal. So Mr. Tomlinson, walk out and away now and you will be fine. I will keep your secret. But approach Harry one time, come near him or send anyone of your men to him and I will go to the police. And do not try to come to him through his friends either. If you try, I will go to the police and report what happened and hand over my examination report and DNA results which I am hundred percent sure will match yours.'

 

'You think Harry will let me go that easily?' Louis hissed at him. Craig gave him a sympathetic look.

 

'Yes, this time I think he will. You didn't see him this morning when I picked him up from that shop. He was wet, cold, dirty, shivering, his feet bleeding, his lips cracked and blue. Yes, I think Harry is done with you this time Mr. Tomlinson. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go up and see how he's doing. I'm doing the night shift so I can be close to him and monitor him.'

 

'You won't get away with this,' Louis threatened him.

 

'Yes I will because I am standing up for Harry simply because he can't stand up for himself. He needs somebody who is not manipulated by you because you have manipulated his friends too except Zayn. He doesn't trust you either. I am doing this for Harry only. You deserve to be punished for what you have done to him! He didn't deserve that at all. How could you even possibly raise your hand to him, bodily harm him and rape him? What kind of a monster are you? And you stand there and threaten me when I'm trying to do what's right by him and protecting him from you?'

 

'What you're doing is taking him away from me!' Louis growled.

 

'Something I should've done a long while ago,' Craig said sadly. 'I knew Harry was in a toxic relationship despite all the happy pictures I saw of the two of you on social media. I knew deep down that he was scared of you and I did nothing to help him. But now I have the opportunity to help him get out of this toxic relationship and away from you and I am going to do my best to help him and protect him. I know he may not want me, like I said and I am not expecting anything from him. I know he won't forget you easily and that his heart will be broken when he wakes up. I know he will be in pieces and I am going to do my best to help him fix himself and get back up on his feet even if it means sending you to prison for what you did. Because you deserve it but he doesn't.' They looked hard at each other for a few seconds then Craig turned and walked away. Louis stared at him as he walked away, knowing he was going to Harry and that's when he realized that he had truly lost Harry for good.

 

There was no choice for him to make here. He had to stay away or Craig would report him and he knew that if he was forced to take a DNA test, it would match Craig's results. It would prove that he was the one that had beaten and raped Harry. It would all be out there. Not to mention having Harry in the spotlight, in tabloids, on social media as the man who was raped by his lover. The media and paps would hound them both! No, there was no choice here. Louis had to walk away and let it go. Let Harry go.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' a nurse called out to him. Louis turned to look at her, his vacant stare not really taking her in. 'I need you to fill out Mr. Styles insurance papers on his health policy.' Louis nodded and followed the nurse to her station where he was given a few papers for him to sign. When he was done, he handed them to her.

 

'Make sure he has all he needs and requires. Keep him comfortable. Send any bills to me at my company,' he told her as he handed her his business card. 'And please may I ask a favor of you but it has to be kept between us.' The nurse nodded.

 

'What do you need Sir?'

 

'Keep me informed on his progress. How he's doing. I will make it worth your while.' The nurse nodded and gave him a smile.

 

'Sure thing Mr. Tomlinson.'

 

He exited the hospital and called Angus to come and pick him up. This was the first day of the rest of his life without Harry. Could he do it? He had to. Could he survive it? He doubted it. Now that he had tasted what it was like to love and be loved, all else in life seemed meaningless. And as his world fell and crashed and burned around him, Louis could do nothing but blame himself for the downfall.

 

X

 

Niall walked into Louis' office without knocking. He was too mad and angry for niceties. As he entered he saw that Louis was on the phone but when Louis saw his face, he ended the call and looked at him feeling annoyed.

 

'What are you doing on my floor? You work two floors down. Who let you in here?' he asked him.

 

'Never mind who let me in here Louis! You have been avoiding me and not taking my calls,' Niall told him angrily. Louis leaned back in his chair.

 

'Doesn't that tell you something?' Louis asked him, raising an eyebrow at him. He had to be an asshole to get them as far away from him as possible. He couldn't have any links to Harry.

 

'I need to talk to you. About Harry,' Niall told him choosing to ignore Louis' snarky comment. Louis kept an icy stare on Niall. He didn't want to hear the name Harry because it hurt.

 

'Niall I'm busy and last time I checked I was paying you to work here not to come into my office for a chat about your bestie,' he told him as he opened a folder and pretended to look through its contents. In reality, he wanted to hide the eager expression on his face. He wanted to know about Harry, how he was doing but he couldn't afford to get dragged back in. He had to stay away.

 

'Its been a week since Harry's been in hospital and you haven't been to see him once or even checked up on him. The fuck is your problem?' Louis slammed his folder shut and got up off his leather chair angrily.

 

'My problem is you coming in here as if you own the place and acting like we are besties. I am your boss not your fucking best friend who's up for coffee and gossip. I don't own you any explanations so get back to work unless you want me to fire your ass.' Niall was a little bit shocked by Louis' reaction.

 

'I thought we were friends,' Niall said, the disappointment in his voice evident.

 

'Well you thought wrong. I was friends with you because you were Harry's friends and I couldn't escape you since he seemed to always want you around him as annoying as you all are. Now that Harry and I are over I don't see why I have to endure you any longer.' Niall looked at him in disbelief.

 

'Wow! So you were just enduring us this whole time?' Louis swallowed. Louis hated hurting them especially Niall but he had to. He had to keep his distance from all of them.

 

'Yes. For Harry's sake. I had no choice but to keep you around for him. Now get back to work. I'm not running a charity here.' Niall stood there shaking his head. Louis huffed. 'Anything else you need?'

 

'You know, they said you were an asshole but I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. I believed there was always a nice person under that shitty exterior of yours but I see now that you're just a bastard.' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Done with the compliments already? I have work to do.'

 

'What about Harry you son of a bitch?' Niall yelled. Louis was getting angry but kept it under wraps.

 

'Harry made his choice. He decided to leave. If he expected me to go after him and beg him back well he was seriously deluded. Now get back to work. You should be thanking me that I'm giving you a paid internship!'

 

'You know what?' Niall hissed at him. 'Fuck you. Fuck your internship. I quit. You can shove it up your ass. You nearly destroyed my friend and I'm fucking glad he left you cos you don't deserve him or us. Zayn was right about you all along. I feel sorry for Liam having fought with Zayn to defend you. You're nothing but scum Louis and I'm sorry we ever met you. I'm glad Harry is free of you and has Craig now. He treats him way better. Have a good life you son of a bitch.' Niall turned and walked out the door, sniffing at his tears as he went. Louis sat down heavily in his chair.

 

Congratulations. A round of applause for emotionally destroying them all!

 

Louis placed his elbows on the desk and placed his face in his palms. How did it all go so wrong? How did he lose his boyfriend and the only friends he ever had? He had begun to feel as if life was finally giving him back something good but he had screwed it up really bad.

 

 

Because that's what fucked up people do. They fuck everything and everyone in their path. Did you honestly think that you could actually keep a boyfriend and be in a serious relationship without any repercussions? Poor you! You destroy everything and everyone. You can't keep a boyfriend or friends or be in a relationship. You had a choice to make and you chose wrongly because you are selfish and fucked up.

 

Louis felt as if he was going to cry. His subconscious was right. He was hurting so many people now. It wasn't just Harry. He had made Niall leave his office in tears and ruined the internship for him but what else could he do?

 

Maybe go to the police and confess to what you have done and face the consequences.

 

He had thought about that a lot, about calling his lawyer and confessing to everything to the police. If found guilty he was looking at twelve years imprisonment. He was torn. He made a mental note to talk to Anthony about it and get his opinion on whether or not he should confess. If he did, he knew he would lose Harry anyway. Either way, his life would not include Harry in it. According to Niall, Harry was with Craig now. It killed him inside to even think about that fucker touching Harry, taking care of his baby and being there for him, pampering him, cuddling him, kissing him, doing all the things they used to do together. Louis got up off the chair and paced the room, these thoughts of Craig with Harry tormenting him.

 

He walked over to the drinks cabinet and poured himself a whiskey which he knocked back in one swallow. He poured another one. It was too early to drink and he was at work but he didn't care. Alcohol was the only thing that was helping to take his mind off his current situation. It numbed his brain. This past week since Harry had left him, it had been one drunken binge after another, the days melding into each other,endless nights watching videos of Harry on his phone. His favorite one was a video he had taken of Harry while they had been in Rome in the summer. Harry had his hair down and was wearing a white V-neck t-shirt and he was so happy, smiling and his eyes were bright and shining ever so green in the morning sun. Louis had been recording him without Harry noticing and Harry had turned to talk to Louis and had found him recording him and he had blushed and looked down, biting his bottom lip and had told Louis shyly to stop filming him but Louis just had to capture Harry on video. Then Harry had looked up straight into the camera and said softly "I love you Lou."

 

Over the past week, Louis had watched the video over and over again just to hear Harry's deep slow voice say "I love you Lou" and he had cried himself into exhaustion till with the help of the alcohol, he had passed out into oblivion.

 

The ringing of his phone brought him out of his thoughts. He swiped his phone.

 

'Hello?' he said and cleared his throat.

 

'Hello Mr. Tomlinson its Grace from the hospital,' a female voice said. Louis focused on her voice. Grace. The nurse from the hospital that called him occasionally to tell him how Harry was doing.

 

'Is something wrong?' Louis asked worriedly. 'Has something happened to Harry.'

 

'No Sir he's perfectly fine. I am just calling to inform you that Harry will be discharged today.' Louis sighed in relief. It was so hard to stay away from Harry but he thanked God that Grace had accepted his cheques to keep him informed on his progress.

 

'Today?' What time?' Louis asked her.

 

'Um in about an hour I should think. He's just waiting for the doctor's signature on his release forms,' Grace informed him. Louis dreaded to ask the next question but he had to.

 

'Is he...is he um alone?'

 

'No Sir. Dr Blake is with him,' she told him and Louis felt the urge to vomit and break something at the same time. He cleared his throat.

 

'So he's alright yeah? I mean health wise like there's no permanent damage done right?'

 

'I just looked at his charts from last night and he is in perfect health. No fluids in his lungs, no fever and his breathing is normal. However, given his asthma, his lungs will always be a little frail. He will be prone to chest infections and pneumonia easier than anyone else. He needs to take good care of himself and keep an inhaler with him at all times just in case but apart from that he's as fit as a fiddle.' Louis let out a breath of relief.

 

'Thank you so much Grace. I really appreciate what you have done for me.'

 

'You're welcome Mr. Tomlinson.' Louis hung up and took a moment to breathe knowing that his baby was going to be alright. He put his phone in his pocket and put on his suit jacket. He walked out of the office and into Lynn's office.

 

'Lynn can I borrow your car?' he asked her. She blinked at him in confusion. Why would he want her Peugeot when he had a chauffeured Bentley?

 

'My car Sir?' she asked him confused.

 

'Yes Lynn. I have an errand to run quickly and I don't have time to call Angus. Can I or?' he asked her impatiently. Lynn nodded and opened her handbag, fished out the keys and tossed them at him. Louis caught them mid-air.

 

'Thanks. I'll have it back safe and sound,' he told her as he left her office and headed towards the elevators. Once down in the garage, he pressed the electronic key chain till he heard the beep of the car and walked over to the metallic blue Peugeot. He pulled out of the under ground garage and headed towards the hospital. By borrowing Lynn's car nobody would notice that he was there but he just had to see for himself that Harry was alright.

 

When he got there, he found a vacant spot in the car park across the road from the hospital exit. He killed the engine and sat there waiting. He felt nervous because he hadn't seen Harry in a week and God he missed him. It was like half of him was gone.

 

A few minutes later, he saw Craig exiting the hospital and walk into the parking lot. He saw him go towards his BMW, get in and head towards the hospital again. He parked the car at the front of the door of the hospital, got out and left the engine running. Craig went inside again but was out in less than a minute, guiding Harry towards the car. Louis' heart leaped into his throat. It was beating so fast as he looked at his beloved boy. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a black shirt, a black coat and a scarf. His hair was up in a bun. He looked pale and a little thinner. Craig was holding his hand and in the other, his bag.

 

Louis couldn't tear his eyes away from his Harry. He wanted to be the one who was helping him and taking him back to the warmth and safety of their home. He wanted to cuddle him and kiss his forehead as he cuddled him to sleep. Louis gripped the steering wheel tightly as the pain in his heart made him gasp.

 

Craig opened the car door for Harry and Harry smiled shyly at him, the same shy smile he had given Louis countless times and Louis wanted to scream and cry till he passed out. He watched as Craig ran the back of his hand gently down Harry's cheek lovingly, looking at him fondly and Harry leaning into the touch. He watched horrified as Craig leaned forward, Louis' heart about to burst out of his chest and watched as Craig pecked Harry's lips, both of them smiling into the kiss. The tears rolled down Louis' cheeks without him even knowing.

 

How was Harry allowing this? Did he forget all the times he had told Louis that he loved him and that it was for eternity? Did he already forget that he had told Louis he would never leave him? Did he forget all those nights that they had lain naked together after making love,whispering promises to each other, loyalty, honesty and swearing their love to each other? Had Harry already forgotten all of this? One big fight and he goes off and forgets him like that? How is that possible? Is it even possible to forget someone that you love simply because of a fight? Why was Harry allowing another man to touch him and kiss him?

 

He watched Craig help Harry into the car, close his door then get behind the wheel and drive off, taking with him the love of his life. Louis kept staring ahead, feeling his soul break. He sobbed into the empty car. Was there even a reason to live for?

 

There is always a reason to live for.

 

Louis sniffed at his tears. His reason for living was gone. He didn't want to live without Harry.

 

Third time lucky?

 

Louis took out his phone and dialed Anthony. When his call was picked up, he said :

 

'I need to see you now before I do something stupid.'

 

'Louis what's the matter?' Anthony asked him alarmed.

 

'Please Anthony, I need help,' he sobbed into the phone. 'I need help really bad. I-I lost him.' Louis hung up and cried, thinking of Harry in Craig's arms.

 

When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah,  
When he lays you down,  
I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 21. I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED THIS ONE :)


	21. Love You Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincere thanks to all of you for reading my fic and for your lovely encouraging comments that help me have confidence in my writing. It is very much appreciated. I do hope you will like the next chapter.  
> All the love, M.

LoveYou Goodbye.

 

It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end  
It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends, yeah  
I know you're saying you don't wanna hurt me  
Well,maybe you should show a little mercy  
The way you look I know you didn't come to apologize

Hey,hey, hey  
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?  
Hey,hey, hey  
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight  
Hey,hey, hey  
If tomorrow you won't be mine  
Won't you give it to me one last time?  
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

 

 

Harry sat in Craig's car looking out of the window as Craig navigated the mid- morning traffic which was a bitch in central London. He was feeling much better physically but the pain in his heart was not better. He felt alone and lonely, lost and depressed. And confused because Craig had kissed him. He hadn't been prepared for that and had been surprised by it. He had acted the only way he knew how : smile and be polite and let him peck his lips. This worried Harry and he knew that he needed to set down some boundaries. He was on the rebound and all he needed right now were friends not a new boyfriend and by the looks of it, Craig was aiming to be his boyfriend!

 

For the past week, Craig had taken good care of him. He had been at the hospital all the time, making sure that he was okay and that he had all that he needed. Harry had been heartbroken that Louis had not come to the hospital once to visit him or even called one of his friends to check up on how he was doing. He had waited everyday with hope that Louis would walk through of his hospital room door and hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright but he never had and Harry still hoped until his hope had eventually died. It was then that Harry realized that they were officially over and that killed him inside. They had been through so much and always managed to fix it, but this time, it was final. He had voiced certain things out to Louis that he could not take back like the issue with his boys and his rape. Harry blushed at the thought of how he had yelled at Louis and demanded he make choices when he knew that it was not his place to demand this from Louis! Louis was fighting battles Harry had no idea about! Louis was suffering! And he had been a jealous bitch, demanding from him and fighting with him, yelling at him! Yeah, he knew that Louis would not take him back because who would want him? Clingy, needy, jealous and desperate to belong.

 

He had also noticed that Liam and Niall had never mentioned Louis to him the few times they had come to visit him. Not once and whenever Harry tried to ask about him, they quickly changed the subject. He had told them briefly what had happened that night, leaving out the rape and Louis' other boys issues, just telling them that they had a big fight and that he had left the house, emphasizing that he had been the one to leave and that Louis hadn't kicked him out, like Craig had been suggesting. Zayn had never visited him once in a week. Harry thought this odd but he was too wrapped up in his broken heart and sadness to actually ask them what the hell was going on because he knew that something was going on. He wasn't thick! He had caught the several exchanged glances between Liam and Niall and the hushed whispers with Craig when they thought he had been asleep.

 

Harry jumped a little in his seat as he felt Craig's warm hand close over his own, which was resting on his thigh. The contact startled him.

 

'Hey bub are you alright?' Craig asked him. Harry didn't like that he called him "bub" but it had been a pet name that Craig had picked up for him during this whole week that he had been at the hospital. It was a cute term of endearment and Harry didn't mean to sound ungrateful, in fact he was truly grateful for all that Craig had done for him especially getting him into one of the private suites for free. Craig had told him that the hospital had done it as a favor to him since he worked there and Harry was honestly grateful but "bub" sounded intimate. It sounded like a pet name you give your boyfriend and Craig was not his boyfriend. Harry gave him a weak smile.

 

'I'm just tried. And cold,' he told him quietly. Craig squeezed his hand and gave him a fond smile.

 

'We'll be home soon,' he assured him.

 

'Why are you taking me to your house?' Harry asked him suddenly when he realized that Craig had turned off in the opposite direction to where he lived.

 

'Harry, you need looking after. You are still not fully recovered. Your collapsed lung is still healing and if you get another cold, well things could go bad for you. So I'm taking you to my house so I can look after you,' Craig explained. Harry sighed softly. Craig was kind and helpful but Harry knew that now that he was no longer with Louis, Craig was going to try with him and he really couldn't handle that. Harry looked down to where Craig's hand was still covering his own, his thumb pressing into his thigh. Harry realized then that he didn't like to be intimately touched unless it was Louis. It gave him a nervous feeling that another man had his hand on him. He gingerly pulled his hand out of Craig's grasp and placed both his hands in his lap.

 

'I-I uhm I want to go home,' he said softly. Craig nodded.

 

'I know Harry and I will take you back home as soon as you are fit enough. Please be patient.' Harry nodded and said nothing else. He just wanted to go home, to his safety and cry and break down. During this whole week in the hospital, he hadn't had time to deal with his broken heart. He still hoped that Louis hadn't meant the words he had said to him that night and that he would come back for him because Louis loved him right? Louis had told him that he was in love with him and people who are in love forgive each other and forget right? They do go back for the person they can't live without right?

 

Stop deluding yourself! He's seen your true colors now. How truly whiney and needy and jealous you are. You put demands on him and you don't do that to Louis Tomlinson you fool! Its over and you have to face it. Stop wishing for him to come back because he is not coming back!

 

Craig parked his car in the garage and killed the engine. He looked at Harry and saw how sad he looked.

 

'Bub....'

 

'Please d-don't.....' Harry said, his voice cracking. Craig undid his seat belt and turned in his seat to face Harry.

 

'Harry, I know you're heartbroken. What he did to you......'

 

'Please,' Harry repeated again feeling the tears well up in his eyes. He didn't want to talk about what happened with Craig! He didn't want to discuss Louis with Craig! Or with anyone! Period. Louis was his private pain and he wanted to keep it that way, still Craig continued.

 

'What he did to you hurts. I know that. You gave him so much, all that you had and he treated you horribly....'

 

'He didn't,' Harry defended Louis. He knew he shouldn't but it was his instinct. He would not let anyone bad mouth Louis. They didn't know him so they didn't have the right to judge him! He looked at Craig, his eyes full of tears. 'Please I don't want to talk about him.'

 

'You have to. You have to face it and deal with it. He never came to visit you Harry! Not once. You've been in hospital all week and he hasn't even called to check up on you. What does that tell you Harry? He never truly loved you. If he did and you had a fight like all couples do, he would've come when Niall called him to tell him that you had been hospitalized but he didn't. He chose not to Harry. He chose not to come,' Craig told him a little sternly. Harry knew all that but it hurt to listen to it regardless. He tugged at his hair and bit his lower lip.

 

'Please take me home,' Harry begged him. Craig sighed heavily.

 

'Look Harry, I'm worried about you and its not just your physical health I'm worried about but your mental health too. There's something I need to tell you. I wasn't going to tell you but I feel I have to now because you deserve to know the truth about the man you love so you can move on.' Craig stopped as he watched Harry look at him, searching his face trying to figure out what Craig wanted to tell him. He looked scared and worried as he braced himself for another blow he couldn't take. Craig felt so sorry for him. 'Do you remember that one time when we went to lunch and we ended up on the tabloids?' Craig asked him. Harry nodded. How could he ever forget? Louis had been so mad at him.

 

'Well, since that day, Louis had people watch me. They follow me everywhere. I got threatening phone calls from anonymous people telling me to stay away from you or I will be hurt. I even had them threatening me that they will break all my fingers.' Harry shook his head, his lower lip trembling.

 

'N-no! L-Louis wouldn't do that. He-he....no no!'

 

'Harry hey calm down. They are still watching me. As we were coming into the garage I saw them. Louis knows you are here. I don't want you alone because...because I'm afraid for you that is why I would prefer if you stayed with me for a few days. I don't want him doing anything to you.....'

 

'He wouldn't! He won't hurt me.'

 

'Harry listen to yourself! He has hurt you already. He's hurt you a lot of times. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Look at you ! He gave you depression. He made you harm yourself. You ended up cutting!!! You stopped eating. I was there. I saw it all with my own eyes. That is abuse Harry. That man has no scruples. He's toxic and he will do anything to get what he wants!' Harry looked down sadly at his lap.

 

'But he doesn't want me,' he said quietly and he could feel his heart break inside his chest.

 

'And I'm glad he doesn't. I want you safe and healthy. Please, just stay with me for a few days. Till you're better or till he calls them off. If they are still hanging outside my flat and around the hospital, I have a feeling Louis isn't done with you yet. Or with me.' Harry looked at him with teary eyes.

 

'He is. And so am I. We are done. I-I j-just need time to..to...'

 

'Heal. I know. And I will help you if you let me. Now come on. Let's get you settled in bub.' Harry nodded and they both got out of the car and headed up to Craig's flat.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis arrived at Anthony's building and parked in the underground garage. He turned off the engine and sat in Lynn's car, his chest heaving as if he had just run a mile. His mind kept replaying the images of Craig kissing Harry and of Harry letting him and even smiling at him as he did so. The fuck? How could he? He felt sick and weak and disgusted and Louis hated it. Hated feeling this way. He pulled down the sun visor and looked in the mirror. He looked a right mess. His eyes red and wet, his nose dripping. He hated it! He hated this! He had never cried since.....since. He shook his head. He shouldn't be crying like a little boy!

 

Well now you know what it feels like to have someone touch the man that you love. Can you understand now what its been like for Harry each time you were with one of your boys?

 

'They fucking mean nothing to me!' Louis yelled into the empty car. 'Nothing! Nothing!' He choked on his sobs.

 

Well maybe Craig means nothing to Harry. Or maybe he does. Or maybe Harry wants him to mean something to him. He's free now. Single. On the market. Eligible.

 

'Fuck you,' Louis sobbed weakly. 'Just fuck you.' He opened Lynn's compartment box and looked inside for a packet of tissues but he only found make up removal wipes. He pulled out one and wiped his face, loving the feel of the cool wet wipe against his flushed face even though they smelled of flowers and shit. He pulled out another one and blew his nose. He needed to make himself presentable before he went up to Anthony. He didn't need to be further humiliated by his broken heart and melt down. When he was done, he looked in the mirror again. He didn't look much better. His eyes were red and swollen and his hair was a mess. He ran his hands through it a couple of times, trying to tame it down. Finally, he stepped out of the car and headed towards the elevator. He pressed the button for Anthony's floor and waited as the elevator ascended. When it dinged open, Louis stepped out and walked to Anthony's office door.

 

When Anthony opened the door, he was shocked by Louis' appearance.

 

'Louis oh my God what happened?' he asked him as he opened the door wider for him to enter his office. Louis walked past him and sat down on the leather couch.

 

'Nothing is right,' he whispered hoarsely. Anthony sat down opposite him. In all the years he had known Louis, he had never seen him so broken when it came to another person.

 

'Tell me what happened Louis,' Anthony urged him prudently. Louis took in a deep breath, held it in for a second then exhaled slowly, trying to relax himself. He told Anthony all that had happened between him and Harry, the fight, the yelling, Harry's anger, Harry asking him to choose, Harry coming undone about the rape, finally accusing him and Harry walking out after he had threatened him that if he left there was no going back. He told him about Harry being out in the storm all night and calling Craig in the morning, about how he had been hospitalized and how Craig had threatened him that he had his DNA and that he would go to the police and expose him for rape and bodily harm if he went anywhere near Harry again or tried to contact Harry through his friends or anyone else. When he was finished, he sagged back in the couch, feeling empty and exhausted.

 

'Wow,' Anthony said not hiding his surprise. 'Things surely took a turn since the last time we talked. Can't say I didn't see that coming though. How was Harry when he confronted you about the rape?' Louis looked vacantly ahead, recalling that night in his mind.

 

'He was angry. And crying. And hurt. He looked small and vulnerable. He screamed at me and made sure I felt his pain. I have never seen him so angry, so frustrated, so broken.' Anthony nodded.

 

'He had been holding it all in and it only grew inside him like I told you it would. How did his reactions make you feel?' Louis scoffed.

 

'Like shit. Like I'm the worst human being alive.'

 

'Yes it would make you feel that way but Harry opened up. That is a very good thing Louis. He let it out and I told you to be prepared for it....'

 

'But I fucking wasn't!' Louis cut him off. 'I thought I was ready for it but I wasn't. I mentally prepared myself for it but I just wasn't. How can you ever fucking prepare yourself for something like that? His words killed me.'

 

'Your actions killed him though. You can't hold his anger at you against him Louis. He has a right to be angry,' Anthony told him kindly. Louis kept on staring ahead, not saying anything. Anthony leaned forward in his chair. 'You are both hurting and trying to heal. Maybe being away from each other for a while is the best thing right now.' Louis dealt Anthony a killer look.

 

'How am I supposed to fucking heal knowing my boy is with that asshole who's threatening me? Because that's the only reason Harry is still there. If that mother fucker didn't have that fucking DNA hanging over me, I would've already gone back for Harry.'

 

'See, that right there is your problem Louis! You take him too much for granted. You just decided that you would've gone back to get him, without even asking him if he wants to come back! Do you know if Harry wants to come back to you Louis? You gave him a choice that night and he bolted. He left. In a raging storm. He preferred to sleep outside on a doorstep rather than come back to you and that should be an alarm bell ringing in your head. Do you think if you went in to get him back, he would want to be brought back? Back to the life and person he ran away from in the first place? Do you think that by dragging him back forcibly, it will make things between you better?' Louis seemed taken aback by Anthony's words.

 

'Why wouldn't he want to come back? We love each other. He loves me. And I love him. We belong together. We had fights before and sorted them out.' Anthony gave him a smile.

 

'Its not that simple Louis. You need to stop seeing this from your side only and think about what Harry needs. What Harry wants. Its not just about you here. You fail to see that Harry chose to be away from you. He left. Some things cannot be sorted by a simple sorry.'

 

'I can win him back!' Louis snapped. Anthony sighed.

 

'Have you considered that maybe he's done? That maybe he's had enough Louis? You can't give him what he wants. You won't give up your boys for him.'

 

'If I give them up I will end up beating him. You should fucking know that better than anyone else. I need them so he can be safe the fuck!' Louis yelled. 'Are you out of your fucking mind?' Anthony sighed again trying to be as patient as he could with Louis.

 

'No not at all. I would never suggest that. What I am telling you is that you are still chained to your past. You live there. Your past is like a chain wrapped around you, suffocating you, un-allowing you to grow and be free. You are so angry at things you cannot change and you cannot see that Harry is the key to your freedom from this chain that is binding you, from this anger and self hate. He can open the lock that's holding your chain in place and give you the freedom you desire and so much need.' Louis shook his head.

 

'I can't. I'm not ready.'

 

'You're scared,' Anthony told him. 'You are terrified of letting go because its all you know. You let your past shape you into this violent, angry man. You let your past take out your anger on others one of which was Harry. You feel the need to control everything and everyone because in your past, you had no control over your life whatsoever. But Harry is offering you a release from all of this if only you let him.'

 

'It's not that simple,' Louis said.

 

'Of course its not,' Anthony agreed. 'But you can start small. A baby doesn't start running right away. A baby takes small first steps, guided and aided so as not to fall and get hurt and that's what you have to do. Start small and allow Harry to aid you.' Louis shook his head and covered his face with both hands.

 

'I can't do that! I can't drag him into all that. I can't......tell him all that Anthony. Its a burden. He will not see me the same after I tell him.'

 

'You underestimate Harry. That boy loves you for who you are, just as you are. He doesn't know anything about your past but loves you still. You raped him and he loves you still. You told him you will need the service of other men and because he loves you, he accepted it. And it all broke him yet he loves you still. He takes all that you throw at him because he loves you Louis.'

 

'He's with another fucking man Anthony! Can you imagine if I HAD told him everything and he left me? What would I have done huh? Knowing he's out there knowing everything about me, that I stripped my soul bare to him, that he's the keeper of past and he left me to go with that piece of shit!!'

 

'Calm down Louis. You are ahead of yourself here. Ask yourself : who pushed Harry into another man's arms? Or so you think because I highly doubt that Harry has the mental stability right now to start anything with someone else. Harry has not stopped loving you. He never will. You both have issues. He loves you so much he wants you to give up your boys so that he could be the one to help you deal and yet you doubt him. He's ready to let you beat him so that he can be the one to alleviate your demons for you yet here you are accusing him of being with another man.' Anthony sighed. 'Louis, you are letting your past define you. You are letting your past make you miss out on a good heart that loves you. Don't pass out on that. You deserve to be loved. All that happened in your past wasn't your fault so why do you keep punishing yourself for it and now punishing Harry along with you? You need to let it go and trust Harry.'

 

'Well I can't now can I since that dickhead is threatening to go to the police. Maybe I should just fucking turn myself in and not give him the satisfaction of turning me in himself and taking Harry away from me.' Anthony leaned back in his chair.

 

'And by turning yourself in, what good will that do to you and Harry besides keep you apart? Because I believe that for first time rape the minimum penalty you get is eight years incarceration. Are you ready to go to prison and leave Harry alone?' Louis seemed to be thinking hard about this then he looked at Anthony.

 

'Either way I'm still kept away from Harry,' he said softly, all anger having left his body.

 

'I think what you should do is talk to your lawyer. I am not an expert in law but I do love to watch police crime drama on the telly and the way Craig obtained that DNA sample is against the law unless Harry gave him permission to do so which I highly doubt.'

 

'Harry would never,' Louis said with certainty. Anthony smiled.

 

'Of course he wouldn't. Which is why you should evaluate your situation and talk to your lawyer about Craig before turning yourself in. Your lawyer should be prepared should Craig go to the police.' Louis rubbed his face with both hands. He looked tired and felt soul exhausted.

 

'It was a mistake to bring Harry into my life. Maybe I should just leave him with Craig. He hasn't got any of my baggage and he takes good care of him. He's a doctor so that's a bonus in case he gets sick or hurts himself. He's a clumsy sod so yeah having a doctor boyfriend is a plus. As much as I vehemently hate the guy, I know he will be good to Harry and treat him with care and love. I am toxic for him. I am controlling and jealous and a freak. Harry doesn't need all this in his life. He should have all that's good. He told me that he isn't interested in material things and never wanted any money from me. He just wanted me, all of me and I can't give him that. So really, what's the point in even trying to get him back?'

 

'Is that what you really want though?' Louis looked down.

 

'Its not about what I want Anthony right? You said its about what he needs. You're right and its certainly not me that he needs. I hurt him too much. I made him cry so many times I lost count. Ten months and like Craig said, I put him through hell and he's only twenty fucking years old. He's so young. He should be enjoying his life not crying over me and begging me to beat the shit out of him just because I have issues. He should be out there pursuing his dreams, dating boys his own age, clubbing, not living with me. Me who's keeping him locked away, chained down to me. No. This is all about what Harry needs. I should've let him go after I raped him and I sent him away. I shouldn't have gone after him and dragged him back but I'm a selfish man who knows he has the means and needs to get what he wants even by force or by paying people to do their dirty work. All I cared about was having him. I never considered his feelings.' Louis paused and looked at Anthony.

 

'Did you know that I had somebody put Harry's father out of business just because he disowned Harry?' Anthony remained silent because if he had to admit it, he was a little shocked that Louis would reach this far. 'Yeah, I paid to have someone wreck his life just like he wrecked Harry's. And did you know that I have my people watching Craig? Ever since he was on the tabloids with Harry, I had them follow him to see if he went anywhere near Harry. I had them threaten him. Do you still think Harry needs to be with me?'

 

'Louis what you are doing is not healthy. You are obsessed with Harry. I know you love him but it is not a healthy relationship. You need to sort out yourself and trust in the fact that Harry loves you and its not likely that he will leave you for somebody else. He is loyal to you so I don't see the point of your dramatic measures when it comes to him. I know your insecurities. I know you feel like you don't deserve to be loved but you do and you are secure with him. You need to make it right.' Louis sighed.

 

'I will. Which is why I will back off Harry. I want him to have a chance at a normal life with somebody who is normal, somebody who can just give him love and safety and stability. With me, it will always be fights and arguments, tears and tempers and doubts and me raging at him and he ends up crying saying sorry for things he didn't do. I can't do that to him anymore. I will just try and talk to him one last time to get closure both for me and him then we move on and away from each other. I can't hurt him anymore Anthony.'

 

'As much as I love seeing you selfless and thinking of Harry first, are you sure this is the path you want to take?' Anthony asked him.

 

'If its to save Harry, then yes.'

 

'What about saving yourself?' Louis looked at Anthony sadly.

 

'There is no saving me. I am too far gone for any kind of redemption and saving.'

 

'Louis, everyone deserves redemption if they choose to fight for it and redeem themselves, if they choose to better themselves and strive to become better. Like I stated before, maybe time apart will do both of you good until you figure out how to heal yourselves and get back together again, both healed and you ready to let go of your past. You can't just give up Louis.' Louis gave him a sad smile that did not reach his eyes.

 

'I'm just doing what's right by Harry. Something I should've done a long time ago. I won't be selfish this time. I will remove myself from him and let him have a chance at a normal relationship. I will leave things to fate. If we are meant to be, we will find our way back to each other maybe next month or next year or ten years from now. I am broken and like you said still attached to my past and its not right that I am breaking him along with me. I can't allow that. He doesn't deserve it. We can't be together when all I'm doing is destroying him.' Anthony gave him a small smile.

 

'You are very mature about this Louis and I have to say that I am impressed. You taking responsibility for this toxic relationship is impressive. I admire your courage. But we are not doing this just for Harry. You and I will continue working on you so we can get you back on track and maybe leave the past where it belongs : in the past. You have to stop carrying it around with you or you will never have anything in this life besides ghosts from your past haunting your present and your future.' Louis nodded.

 

'I would like that thank you. And please continue to see Harry. He is going to need you and send the bill to me. Don't charge him.' Anthony smiled.

 

'Of course. I also think we should increase your dosage of your bipolar medication and put you on Xanax. You need them.' Louis nodded and got up, Anthony following suit.

 

'Well I have to go. I have things to take care of and fix. Thank you Anthony.' They shook hands.

 

'I will see you next session Louis and I hope you will be better than today.' Louis exited Anthony's office and he let out a long drawn breath. He had made a decision and he was going to stand by it this time no matter what. Harry had made the decision to leave and he had to respect that. All they needed was closure and Louis had to find a way to talk to Harry without Craig finding out. He didn't want to leave any loose ends between them.

 

Louis got into the elevator and pushed the button for the garage. As he was going down, he took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. When he found Morrison's number he tapped on it and waited for a few second still his call was picked up.

 

'Morrison, call the men off Craig. I don't want him watched or followed anymore.' Louis paused to listen what Morrison was saying. 'Yes I know that Harry is with him. I just...all I want is to know that Harry is okay. Don't stalk him or Craig. Just low key keep an eye on Harry just in case he needs anything or finds himself in difficulty. Thank you Morrison.' Louis ended the call and immediately made another one.

 

'Hello Lynn Turner speaking how may I assist you?'

 

'Lynn hi,' Louis told her as he got off the elevator. 'I will be at the office shortly. I am on my way. Call Walter and tell him to be at my office as soon as possible. Tell him its urgent and important.' Louis got in Lynn's Peugeot and headed towards his office.

 

X

 

 

Louis was in his office trying to keep himself occupied by concentrating on his work rather than letting his mind wander to Harry. Occasionally he'd reach for his phone intent on checking for any messages from Harry because it was what he usually did but then he'd remember that they were not together anymore and his phone was going back to being silent except for work related calls. A wave of sadness engulfed him and he sighed heavily. The buzzer on his desk phone distracted him. Louis pressed it.

 

'Yes Lynn,' he said.

 

'Sir your lawyer is here to see you,' she informed him.

 

'Send him right in,' Louis told her as he got up and fixed his suit jacket. Just then, Lynn pushed open the door allowing a middle aged man in an expensive suit to enter Louis' office.

 

'Walter,' Louis greeted him as he shook his hand and invited him to sit on the couch. Walter shook his hand and sat.

 

'Can I get you a drink?' Louis offered and Walter nodded.

 

'A scotch will do. Ward off the cold,' he told him with a smile. Walter was in his mid-forties, a tall man, well built, with dark hair, gray eyes and a striking smile. He had been Louis' lawyer for a long time and they had established a professional friendship. Louis came back with two crystal glasses of whiskey and handed one to Walter as he sat on the opposite couch. They both took a sip then Walter fixed Louis with his gaze.

 

'So what can I do for you today Louis? Thank you for your call by the way. You pulled me out of court away from a rather boring case that I didn't even see the point in taking hadn't my client been generous in his payments.' Louis chuckled. Walter was ruthless, one of those lawyers that always made sure his clients won their cases even if they were wrong or at fault. Walter didn't care much for the law. He twisted it the way he saw fit to win his cases and get paid! Which was what made him highly sought out.

 

'I have a problem on my hands at the moment. One that I don't know how to handle,' Louis admitted. Walter grinned at him.

 

'Which is where I come in. Is it an illegal problem?' Walter asked him not beating about the bush. He had dealt with "illegalities" for Louis before.

 

'You can say that yes but its more of a personal problem,' Louis told him. Walter's interest was piqued. He raised an eyebrow.

 

'Alright. Tell me how I can help you.' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled puffing out his cheeks.

 

'I...well...a few months ago I...um...I raped my partner and caused him immense bodily harm,' Louis admitted feeling ashamed to even have to say the words out loud to someone who wasn't his therapist, but in a way his lawyer was kinda like a therapist too. Walter calmly took a sip of his whiskey.

 

'He has an NDA. You're covered,' he told him passively.

 

'No, he doesn't have one,' Louis informed him. Walter furrowed his brows at this news.

 

'He doesn't have one? How come? I thought we had established it that before you engage in your sexual activities with your partners, they get to sign an NDA. No NDA, no activities. Why does this one has no signed NDA?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'The reason I didn't get him to sign one is that he is...was my boyfriend for the past ten months. I didn't see the necessity to have him sign one since I wasn't in that kind of relationship with him that demanded an NDA.' Walter seemed to be thinking.

 

'Is he solid? Do you trust him? I mean you must trust him to not have me draw up an NDA for him.'

 

'I trust him with my life,' Louis said quietly. Walter nodded.

 

'Well considering he's your ex, if you are worried that he will go to the authorities maybe we should pay him off to keep him quiet. A few thousand should do,' Walter suggested placidly. Louis fixed him with a glare.

 

'He won't talk Walter,' Louis reassured him.

 

'So whats the problem here?' Walter asked him.

 

'I raped someone!' Louis snapped at him. 'That is THE problem! Shouldn't you be more concerned about it?' Walter shrugged.

 

'Why?' Louis scoffed.

 

'I raped him bad Walter and beat the shit out of him so much so that he had to go to the hospital,' Louis said a little angrily. Walter sighed.

 

'Look Louis, if you are seeking absolution from your sins find a priest. I am sure he will forgive you and set your soul at ease. Me on the other hand, I'm here for your legal shit.'

 

'I don't need a fucking priest and I sure as hell don't need forgiveness from one,' Louis said angrily.

 

'What do you need then? You pay me to defend you and your assets not your conscience so tell me what you need me to do,' Walter retorted. Louis sighed and tried to calm himself down.

 

'His doctor, the one that saw to him when he went to the ER, he has my DNA. He took a sample from Harry and he has my fucking DNA. Now he's threatening to go to the police with it,' Louis fumed. Walter took a sip of his whiskey and tapped his index finger against his lips calmly.

 

'What is he threatening you with? What does he want? Money shouldn't be a problem to you.'

 

'He...he wants me to stay away from Harry,' Louis said quietly. Walter furrowed his brows then an amused look took over his features.

 

'Excuse me what? You are a multi billionaire, a fucking tycoon of an empire and he's just after your ex? Can you run me through that again because you just confused the shit out of me,' Walter told him. Louis was becoming annoyed. He got up and poured another two drinks one of which he gave to Walter. He sat down again.

 

'This doctor, Craig Blake he just wants Harry and he wants me to stay away from him or else he will go to the police,' Louis explained and it did sound rather stupid when said out loud. Walter smirked at Louis.

 

'I take it that this Harry is a fine piece of ass since both of you are fighting over him.' Louis' face darkened.

 

'Insult him again and I will fire your ass,' he threatened darkly. Walter cleared his throat knowing he had over stepped his boundaries.

 

'So since this Dr.Blake has your DNA, I am assuming Harry gave him permission to take a DNA test in the first place?' Walter asked him.

 

'Of course he didn't,' Louis spat at him still angry that Walter had taken the liberty of insulting Harry.

 

'Are you sure?' Walter insisted.

 

'Jesus fucking Christ Walter of course I'm sure. Harry would never allow that.'

 

'So Dr. Blake obtained this DNA sample illegally and without permission from the victim in this case Harry or the assailant, in the case, you. He can't use that DNA sample. He can't go to the police with it and I will have it discarded the moment he goes to the police.' Louis huffed.

 

'That's not the point Walter. I am pretty sure you can and will let me get away with anything but the point here is that if he should go to the police there will be exposure, both for me and for Harry and I really don't want Harry to be on the tabloids as the boy that was raped by me. It would kill him. The embarrassment he will feel. He doesn't want anybody to know he was raped Walter. I don't want him involved in any of this at all. I want him kept out and away from it all. I don't want him made a spectacle of.' Walter looked at him confused.

 

'Where are you going with this?' he asked him. Louis took another gulp of his whiskey.

 

'I thought maybe I could turn myself in quietly which is why I called you here to give me legal advice,' Louis told him. Walter sat up straight.

 

'Are you fucking insane? You go in and give your self up, you are looking at a twelve to fourteen year sentence if found guilty of rape and bodily harm. Maybe I could drop that to eight years seeing its your first offense and given who you are. I can even make bail which will be in the six digit figure. The crown will milk you for that. What about exposure for yourself? All that negative press? Yes, you will be keeping Harry out of it but you won't be out of it. They will eat you up! And with all these Hollywood people all coming out with rape accusations and sexual harrassments, you will be the tip of their fucking ice berg! You just can't go and turn yourself in Louis. It will be social suicide and your business will be fucked. Are you ready for this downfall just to protect an ex?'

 

'What else am I supposed to do? Wait around for fucking Craig to go and hand in my DNA and expose all of this? Harry will be devastated.' Walter huffed nervously.

 

'Here is my advice to you. Stay the fuck away from this Harry. Let this Dr. Blake have him. There are other men out there Louis. You can't be serious about risking all you that have, your reputation for just a...a boy?'

 

'He's not just a fucking boy!' Louis barked. 'He's the fucking love of my life and that asshole found a way to keep him away from me.' Walter searched his mind for solutions to this crazy problem.

 

'Can't we pay him off?' he suggested. Louis scoffed.

 

'And add bribery to the mix of things he can expose me for? He already thinks I manipulate people and buy my way out through situations.'

 

'He does seem to know you well,' Walter commented. Louis glared at him but chose to ignore his snide remark.

 

'Advise me on what to do Walter. I need to get this over and done with.' Walter drained his drink.

 

'My advice to you is: sit still. Lay low. Don't approach Harry and do not intimidate this Dr. Blake. You don't want exposure and if you confront him or approach Harry, you will get exposure and lots of it. As will Harry. You don't need a scandal on your hands and Harry will be dragged through the mud. Don't turn yourself in. You will gain nothing except your name in the sex offenders records, slandering and assassination of character. You are a respectable man in the community. You have a lot to lose and seriously is it worth it just for a guy?' Louis remained silent. His brain was thinking.

 

'Louis, you need to let this go. If anything happens and Dr. Blake goes to the police, we will deal with it then. I will have a case prepared just in case. Have you PR people be ready to shut this down if it comes to light. I will find a way to bury this Dr. Blake if he so much as steps out of line. What you need to do is not stir up any of this. Don't do anything! You said Harry is your ex anyway so just let it go for your sake and his.' Louis looked at him.

 

'And just let that asshole win?' Walter stood up and looked down at Louis.

 

Sometimes losing to an asshole to save your reputation is the best way to go. Call me if anything happens.'

 

 

x

 

Craig looked at Harry who was sitting curled up on his couch. He sat down next to him.

 

'So you take the bed and I will sleep on the couch,' he told him but Harry was already shaking his head.

 

'No I will take the couch,' he protested. Craig put his hand on Harry's knee and Harry flinched, pulling his knee away discreetly trying not too be too obvious but Craig noticed and let his hand drop.

 

'Harry you are my guest and you need the bed more than you need the couch. It will be fine. Now I need to check your temperature, blood pressure and listen to your chest. Come,' Craig told him, holding his hand out to him. Harry hesitated a little then placed his hand in Craig's and let him pull him up. When he was up, Craig kept holding his hand as he made his way to the bedroom. Once there, he got his doctor bag.

 

'Sit on the bed and take off your shirt,' Craig instructed. Harry didn't know why he felt awkward. Maybe it was because he was in Craig's bedroom and not at the hospital and taking off his shirt here, exposing himself when they were alone just the two of them, made him feel uncomfortable. Still, Craig was a doctor and Harry knew he wouldn't take advantage of him. Harry pulled off his shirt and sat down.

 

Craig couldn't help but admire the beautiful boy that sat on his bed. He was gorgeous, his skin pale and those black tattoos all over his arms and torso. He didn't want to stare and make the situation worse for Harry. He could see the blush on his face even though he kept his eyes to the floor. Craig couldn't help but notice over time how submissive Harry was and deep inside him he hated to think what Louis had done to him to make him this way. He gave him a reassuring smile and produced a thermometer.

 

'Under your tongue,' he instructed him and Harry did as he was told as Craig took his blood pressure. When he was done and checked that Harry had no fever, he bought out his stethoscope and began listening to Harry's chest and back. He made Harry cough a few times just to be sure.

 

'Everything seems to be fine. There's still a little wheezing in your chest meaning there's still a small amount of fluid in your lungs but nothing alarming. What I need you to do is sleep elevated to prevent more fluid build up. I'll go and get you your medications.' Harry nodded and he put on his shirt. He sat there and wished he was home, in his own private space, by himself. He needed to be alone. Craig came back and handed him his pills and a glass of water. He placed his inhaler on the bedside table just in case.

 

'Do you need anything else?' Craig asked him.

 

'No thank you. I just need to sleep,' Harry told him, giving him a smile.

 

'Yes you need rest. If you need anything I will be out in the living room okay.' Harry nodded and thanked him yet again. When Craig left the room and closed the door behind him, Harry sighed in relief. He got into the bed and pulled the duvet over his head, covering himself completely and allowed himself to break down a little. He buried his face in the pillow making sure Craig did not hear his muffled sobs.

 

 

X

 

It was a week later when Harry was finally back in his own apartment. Craig had driven him over that morning before his shift. It was a Sunday and Harry was glad to be back home. As soon as he got in, he put on some Stevie Nicks and made tea then began cleaning his apartment. When he was done, he took a long hot bath, made dinner and relaxed on the couch reading a book with the telly on, the sound low just for company to stop him from feeling so alone.

 

But Harry felt lonely. Ever since he left Louis two weeks ago, a loneliness had settled over him that felt like a heavy rock pressing down on his chest. He had checked his phone and found nothing from Louis except one missed call on the night that he had ran out of the house. There were no emails either. Harry knew that it was over, still it felt like it was lingering there, an uncertanity still full of hope. They didn't get a closure. It was just a big fight and him running out and away from Louis' threats. But he knew that that was all the closure he would ever get and he had to contend himself with it.

 

As of tomorrow he would be back at Uni and he would do his very best to move on and make himself a little less sad though he felt that that was impossible. Life without Louis was no life at all but he had to make it work. He would focus on his studies and go back to his life before Louis. He also had to look for a new job. He made a mental note to ask Liam if they were hiring at Waterstones.

 

Harry sighed as he put his book down and flicked the telly on to Netflix. He found a romantic movie, pulled the blanket over him and had a good cry, hoping that tomorrow he would feel better.

 

 

X

 

 

The next day, Harry woke up earlier than usual. He felt like shit. He had cried all of last night before he had fallen into a restless sleep. His sinus was blocked and his eyes were red and puffy. But despite all this, he was looking forward to going back to Uni and meeting his friends today, so that was something to look forward to. Instinctively, he checked his phone but there was only a text from Craig asking him if he was alright and if he needed anything. He quickly typed in a reply saying he was fine and no he didn't need anything but thank you for inquiring after me.

 

He dragged himself into the bathroom and groaned when he saw his face in the mirror. His whole face looked bloated and full of blemishes. He had dark circles under his eyes and that made Harry feel worse. Still, he turned on the tap and splashed his face with cold water. It helped with the swelling but it made his skin look red as if he had a rash. Deciding to fuck it all, Harry got into the shower and by the time he was ready to leave and looked at himself one last time in the mirror, he decided that he looked decent enough considering his circumstances. He was going through a break up so he was allowed to look like shit. He dressed up all warm to avoid getting another cold. The weather had taken a severe turn with the temperatures dropping under zero and it was only the beginning of November.

 

Harry left his apartment and was glad to be out doors. The air was crisp and cold, the sky gray. The trees were all bare of leaves that were all scattered on the ground and crunched under his feet when he walked. He loved Autumn. He hurried to the tube and once inside he realized that it had been a long time since he had used the train. Immediately, his mind went to Louis. Louis always had Angus drive him to school before he took Louis to work. They would sit together in the car and....no! Harry stopped himself from thinking about Louis and what had been. That was over now and he had to look to the future. Without Louis.

 

Admit it, if he comes back for you, you will go back in a heartbeat without stopping to blink about it.

 

He arrived at the University and headed to his first lecture, determined to focus and not let his mind go back to Louis and what had been. He owed it to himself to move on. He had been through a lot, not all bad and if he were to be honest with himself, the good out weighed the bad but this move had to be done. He couldn't stay with Louis and share Louis with those boys! He had to think of himself. He had to respect himself enough to walk away even though it was killing him and he still loved Louis immensely but it was really up to Louis if he wanted to save this relationship and Harry knew it was futile to even think about it happening. Harry had left because he hadn't been happy with the way things were and he was not going to be the one to crawl back and say sorry because it was up to Louis to fix this now and Louis wouldn't be fixing it any time soon. Harry had said too many sorries, took too many blames upon himself. Apologized far too many times for things he didn't even do just to keep Louis happy but now....he had to have some self respect.

 

Before he knew it, it was time for lunch and he was excited to see his friends again. He hadn't seen them or spoken to them all week. He didn't understand why they hadn't visited him over at Craig's but then he reasoned that the world didn't just revolve around him and that they had lives too. They had boyfriends and jobs and school. He couldn't just expect them to come visit him! He headed towards the Starbucks across campus where he was told to meet them, as it was too cold now to sit outside. As soon as he opened the door, the smell of coffee and warmth of the shop greeted him. Harry looked around for his friends and saw them sitting at a table at the back of the shop. He smiled to himself and rushed over to them.

 

'Hey guys,' he greeted them happily. They all looked up at him with smiles on their faces, Niall scooting closer to Liam to make room for Harry to sit beside him.

 

'Harry its so good to finally have you back,' Niall said, giving him a hug as Harry sat down. 'How are you mate?'

 

'I'm much better,' he told them. He smiled at Liam and Zayn, who was avoiding looking at him.

 

'So glad to see you doing so well,' Liam told him. Harry nodded but kept his eyes on Zayn who hadn't said a word.

 

'Hi Zayn,' Harry said softly. Zayn raised his eyes and finally looked at Harry.

 

'Hey,' he told him. Harry couldn't understand Zayn. Did he do something to him? He couldn't remember having done anything to offend Zayn. Zayn got up.

 

'What are you having Haz?' he asked him, his voice soft.

 

'A gingerbread latte please. No whipped cream.' Zayn nodded at him and walked off to get him his drink. He made small talk with Niall and Liam until the conversation dried out as Zayn sat back down and placed his hot drink in front of him. Harry didn't miss their exchanged looks and he was feeling as if there was something going on between them that he didn't know about. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes down on the table and fidgeted with his napkin.

 

'Is...um is s-something w-wrong?' he asked them timidly, not looking up. 'D-did I do something?' After a few seconds of silence, Liam asked him :

 

'Harry, have you heard from Louis?' he asked him warily. Harry stiffened. Why where they bringing up Louis? Had something happened to him?

 

'No,' he replied quietly. A few seconds of silence.

 

'Harry,' Liam said in his most gentle voice. 'What happened?' Harry sighed heavily.

 

'I already told you. W-we had a f-fight. I left,' he said curtly. Niall's hand rested gently on his arm.

 

'We know that but is it what truly happened?' Niall asked him. Harry's head snapped up and his eyes met Niall's.

 

'What do you mean? You don't believe me?' he asked.

 

'A bit hard to believe that YOU actually left HIM!' Zayn said somewhat sarcastically. Harry's head turned toward Zayn.

 

'Why?' Harry asked innocently. Zayn scoffed.

 

'Harry, you were so far up his ass....ouch!' Zayn was cut off by a glaring Liam as he reached under the table to rub his ankle. Harry looked at Liam confused.

 

'Why are you asking me all this?' he asked. Liam took in a deep breath. There was no use beating about the bush here.

 

'Harry, did Louis kick you out that night? Are you covering up for him?' Harry's eyes went wide.

 

'What? No. He didn't kick me out. Why would you think that?' he asked them offended. He again watched them exchange looks. 'Why do you keep looking at each other? What's going on?' Liam leaned forward in his seat.

 

'Harry, we want to ask you something and we need you to be honest with us. Can you do that?'

 

'I've always been honest with you guys,' Harry said pouting a little that his friends were interrogating him like this and not believing anything he was saying. Liam nodded.

 

'Has Louis ever hurt you?' Liam asked him, carefully watching Harry's face for his reactions. Harry felt himself go weak. What did they know? Why where they asking him this?

 

'N-no,' he said and it didn't sound convincing not even to himself. He saw that his friends were tense. Niall cleared his throat.

 

'Harry, has Louis um, has Louis raped you?' Niall asked him and Harry felt as if he wanted to burst into tears. How did the know? Who told them? Harry bit his bottom lip hard to stop himself from crying.

 

'No,' he said quietly. He saw from the looks on their faces that they weren't convinced but he had to protect Louis. Nobody must know about what happened. Although they weren't together anymore, he would still protect him.

 

'Harry please tell us the truth,' Liam begged him. 'We just want to help you. Has he hurt you? Beat you? Forced himself on you?' Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and straightened his back. He had to be convincing. Somebody had told them so he had to convince them otherwise.

 

'He never hurt me. He certainly never raped me. W-where would you get such an idea?' he asked them trying to sound casual about it.

 

'Your doctor friend told us,' Zayn spat out. 'I can't believe you're still protecting him.'

 

'Zayn filter!' Liam hissed at him but Zayn shrugged.

 

'Why? Can't you see he's protecting him?' Harry looked from one to the other. Of course! Craig! But why would he tell them? He was bound by profession not to disclose his case! Liam shook his head at Zayn then turned to look at Harry with a sympathetic look.

 

'Craig well, he thinks, he's convinced that Louis beat you and raped you,' he told him in a soft voice. He knew how sensitive Harry was so he had to tread lightly. Harry swallowed again.

 

'Well he didn't,' he said softly. Zayn scoffed again.

 

'You're a terrible liar,' he accused Harry. Harry turned to him.

 

'What is your problem Zayn? I was in a relationship and I would know if he beat me and raped me wouldn't I? But he didn't!' Harry looked down at his trembling fingers. He hated conflict! He hated arguing! Why did they have to bring Louis up? 'H-he never hurt me. Ever.' Zayn turned in his seat and looked at Harry.

 

'I know you're covering for him Harry. You might fool these two but there ain't no way in hell you will fool me. I've seen his boys at Garlands. I've seen how they leave the VIP room, unable to walk. I've seen them naked in the dressing room and I've seen the bruises on them, the belt marks. That man is a psycho who like this shit....'

 

'What shit?' Harry screamed at him then quickly lowered his voice when he saw people turn and stare.

 

'I'm not sure but it must be some kinky shit. He must have some pain fetish or something. Maybe its BDSM. I don't know cos he made then sign an NDA so they can't speak about what goes on behind closed doors.'

 

'Well you're wrong,' Harry spat at him. 'Louis...Louis i-is soft and gentle and kind and he never tied me up or beat me or raped me. He-he always made gentle love to me and took care of me,' Harry told him, feeling his heartbreak in his chest at having to talk about Louis. Had Louis lied to him when Harry had asked him if he had ever raped any of his boys? Had he raped any of them? Or had he been the one and only? Harry didn't know what or who to believe anymore. Zayn smirked at him.

 

'So if I asked you to drop your pants right now, you wouldn't have like belt lashes scars on the back of your thighs and bum huh? You wouldn't like mind showing us right?' Zayn taunted him. Harry stood up and glared down at him.

 

'I don't owe any of you any explanations. I don't have to prove anything to you. Louis never hurt me. Believe me or not that's not my problem.'

 

'Harry please sit down. We just want to help if there's something wrong,' Liam told him. Harry turned his angry gaze on Liam.

 

'We broke up! I left him! Stop believing everything you hear about him. Stop being so fucking judgemental about something you don't understand! Give him a fucking break. I will not sit here and listen to you telling me shit you believe about him. It's ridiculous!' Harry heaved his bag over his shoulder and walked hurriedly towards the door. He heard them calling out to him but he just couldn't deal with this. He was going to cry and he didn't want them to see. As soon as he stepped outside, he was glad for the icy cold that greeted him, making his eyes water so it would hide his tears. How dare Craig tell them! And how dare they believe him and not Harry? He felt angry and hurt and sad because usually when things got bad, he would text Louis and Louis would take care of him, say sweet things to him, calm him down. Now he had no one. Not even his friends. He couldn't trust them. He had no one.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis sat in his office and stared at the black and white photos in front of him for the millionth time. They were all pictures of Harry and Craig from the past week. He had told Morrison to lay off Craig but to low key keep an eye on Harry and he might have expressed his desire to see Harry and Morrison had been kind enough to take some pictures of them. And Louis wished he hadn't.

 

For the past week since he had been to visit Anthony and told him everything, he had wanted to talk to Harry and get closure but Craig had taken Harry to his apartment and Louis had very nearly lost his shit and went to get Harry and drag him home. But the new Louis knew that that was not right. The new Louis was being selfless and letting Harry go. There was just one more tiny thing he needed to do and that was straighten things out with Harry and get closure. He hated that they had parted on such bad terms and he wanted to fix that, both for him and Harry but he couldn't get anywhere near Harry. Craig had taken the whole week off to care for Harry and they had been out and about quite a little bit.

 

The pictures in front of him showed him Harry walking down the high street in Camden Town with Craig, both of them talking animatedly. Harry had his hair up in a bun and was dressed warmly in this black coat and scarf. He looked better and was smiling. Louis traced the contours of his face with his finger and felt his heart beating faster and getting louder in his ears. That smile that had been solely his but now he was giving it to Craig. Louis wished so much that it was him with Harry walking down the street, taking care of him and even though he felt anger rise inside him, he couldn't blame it on anyone but himself. He was the screw up and he had fucked up a good thing.

 

He continued to look at the photos, punishing himself. The last batch where from a few days ago when Craig had returned Harry to his flat. Harry looked happier and healthier. Craig was helping him with the bags and the way he was looking at Harry...was the way that Louis himself had looked at him countless times ; with love, fond and sweetness. Louis wished he could turn back time but to what purpose? He knew he couldn't make it right because he couldn't give Harry what he wanted and needed. Louis just wished it was him helping Harry move back into his small apartment, wished it was him to care for him and make sure he was alright. It was tearing him apart and he felt himself die a little more.

 

'The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. He picked it up and saw that it was Morrison.

 

'Yes?' Louis said by way of answer as he continued to look at the photos of Harry.

 

'Sir he's at Uni. I saw him go in. He came alone by tube,' Morrison informed him. Louis sat up straighter in his chair.

 

'What is Craig's schedule? I assume he's back to work yes?'

 

'Yes,' Morrison confirmed. 'I managed to get a copy of his work roster. Today he's on a twelve hour shift. From seven am till seven pm. How do you wish to proceed Sir?'

 

'As soon as Harry leaves Uni, inform me right away. Then I need you to go to the hospital and stand watch for Craig. I just need to talk to him. It shouldn't take me more than half an hour. I don't want any surprises.'

 

'Sure thing Sir. I will call you when Harry leaves for home.'

 

'Thank you Morrison.' Louis hung up and stared at the photos again. He felt butterflies flutter in his stomach. He was going to see Harry after two weeks of being away from him. Even if it was just to end their relationship for good and get closure.

 

 

X

 

Harry left the University at four in the afternoon. He made it a point to avoid his friends, not really in the mood for their bullshit. As he made his way towards the underground station, he tucked his hands in the pockets of his thick jacket and pulled up the hood. It was freezing outside and he didn't want to catch a cold. It was only four in the afternoon but the sky was almost dark. He couldn't wait to get home, have a hot shower, make a warm meal and just laze on the couch watching Netflix.

 

Harry arrived at his flat and tried to fish out his keys from the front pocket of his jeans but his fingers were numb with cold. He struggled a little but finally got them out.

 

'Hello Harry,' Louis said softly stepping out of the door way of the shop where Harry had slept the night he had ran away from home. Harry startled and dropped the keys, taking a few steps back. Louis bent down and picked them up for him. As he stood back up their eyes met. God its been two weeks, Louis thought and he looks as beautiful as ever. Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

 

'W-what are y-you doing here?' he asked him as he took the keys from him with shaking hands. Harry was shocked to see Louis there. He hadn't seen him for two whole weeks and his heart was ramming in his chest so hard that it hurt because Louis looked so gorgeous in his dark suit, white shirt and silver tie. His eyes were so blue and the scruff on his face reminded Harry of the many times he had felt it scraping his smooth skin between his thighs. He wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'I need to talk to you,' he told him softly. 'Can I?' Harry tore his eyes away from Louis because it hurt to look at him. It made him want to hug him and pepper his face with kisses and he knew that he couldn't do that. Louis was not his anymore. He turned towards the door and tried to put the key in the lock so he could escape inside, away from him but his hands were shaking so bad and the damn key wouldn't cooperate!

 

'There's nothing to talk about,' Harry said in a shaky voice. Louis gently extended his hand and carefully took the key out of Harry's hands, his fingers brushing Harry's cold ones.

 

'Here, let me,' he told him as he put the key in the lock and opened the door for him. 

 

Harry kept his eyes to the ground and stepped inside. 'Please Harry,' Louis pleaded. Harry was torn. He hadn't seen him for two weeks and he wanted to talk to him, wanted to hear what he had to say. Maybe he was here to fix things?

 

Or maybe not. You left him remember?

 

On the other hand, was it worth it to invite him in and let him talk and open up the wounds again? Not that they were healed but they were scabbing over and he knew well enough that if you picked at the scab, it would bleed again, because scabs healed on the outside, but underneath they were still raw and painful.

 

'Y-you s-should go,' Harry told him but his voice held no conviction.

 

'Please Harry just give me ten minutes. I-I don't want to leave things with you how we left them. I know we are over. I just,' he paused and took in a deep breath. 'I just want closure for the both of us.' Harry tentatively lifted his eyes and met Louis' blue ones. They were clear and sincere and oh so beautiful.

 

'Five minutes,' Harry told him. He turned and walked up to his flat, opened the door and walked inside. Louis followed him in. Harry dropped his bag by the door, took off his jacket and walked into the living room, flopping down on the couch. Louis closed the door behind him, took in a deep breath and followed Harry. He sat on the other end of the couch, rubbing his hands together nervously. He had thought up a lot of things to say to Harry but now that he was here with him, he was tongue tied and had forgotten all that he wanted to say. He looked at the boy who sat with his hands tucked beneath his thighs and his eyes downcast looking at his feet.

 

'Harry,' Louis said softly. He felt nervous as fuck. 'How are you?'

 

'You have no right to ask me how I feel or speak to me like you care,' Harry told him curtly but his voice held no anger.

 

'I know. I'm sorry,' Louis told him.

 

'Why didn't you come and see me while I was in hospital?' Harry asked him. Louis was caught off guard. He couldn't tell him that Craig had warned him to stay away.

 

'We...I...um you left me Harry. I didn't think.....'

 

'You told me not to come back,' Harry said quietly, still looking down at his feet. Louis sighed heavily.

 

'So many things were said that night Harry and we never got to talk about it. I know the blame is all mine but we were both angry and said too much. That is why I wanted to talk with you, just to give both of us proper closure. I think we deserve to give each other that.' Harry nodded. He felt a sharp pain in his heart. If he had had a little hope that maybe when he saw Louis at his door he'd hoped that he had come back for him, then that hope had just been shattered into sharp shards that were digging into him making him bleed on the inside. He was only here to confirm that they were over and seal the deal properly.

 

'I'm sorry I got mad,' Harry said softly.

 

'You had every right to. Don't apologize. I gave you too many reasons to be mad at me for. I'm sorry I can't give you what you need. I-I can't choose Harry.' Harry felt his heart break in his chest at Louis' word.

 

'I know,' he said quietly. Louis wanted to move closer to him, to hold him. He hated Harry looking so defeated, so lost.

 

'Harry please I need you to understand that the choice I am making here is not between you and them. It's between keeping you safe and hurting you. I can't hurt you again and I will if I quit my boys. I will for sure. They mean nothing to me at all. I-I pay them well for their services. Its a job to them. I need you to understand that please. You are so much more to me then them.' Harry lifted his head and looked at Louis, letting his eyes linger on him.

 

'Who hurt you so bad that all my love for you can't fix you? Who did this to you? Who made you into this?' Harry asked him, his voice low and gentle. Louis felt a lump close his throat and it was his turn to look away from Harry's kind eyes. He wanted to tell him everything so badly but he was a coward, he was a scared little boy that was still stuck in the nightmares of his past.

 

'I'm sorry I hurt you,' Louis said, his voice thick with emotion. 'I never meant for anything that happened to happen and I want you to know that I never considered you my whore. Ever. I thought that by giving you things and taking you places I was showing you how much I loved you and how much I cared for you. I never meant to make you feel cheap or bought Harry. It was never my intention. I- I never loved anyone before and I didn't know how to do it properly and now I know I did it all wrong.....' Louis stopped as he watched Harry scoot over to him and place his big warm hand over his shaking ones.

 

'You loved me right. You did your best Louis. It was I who was ungrateful and wanted more. I said so many hurtful things to you because I was angry. I am selfish and wanted you all for myself.' Louis made a choking sob.

 

'Baby you are not selfish. You are the most selfless person I have ever met. I hurt you emotionally and physically. I threatened you. I became possessive and jealous. That is not loving you right. That is making you my property and you are not a thing! I am so sorry Harry.' By now Harry was a mess. His heart was aching in his chest and he couldn't help the tears that were welling up in his eyes. Louis took in a deep shuddering breath, feeling his own eyes tearing up.

 

'I know we can't be together like this. Not until I am fixed. We need time apart Harry and I will not be selfish and ask you to wait for me because I know that no matter how long it will take me to fix myself, if I ever fix myself, you will wait and I will not have you do that. I will not have you waste your life away waiting for me. You are still young Harry. Go out and enjoy life, graduate, find a boyfriend your own age and one who treats you well and loves you right.' Harry was crying and shaking his head.

 

'No,' he sobbed. Louis squeezed his hands tightly.

 

'Yes baby yes. You will graduate and become a famous writer and an awesome photographer and you will meet somebody who you will fall madly in love with and who will love you so so much and not hurt you ever. Someone will never never make you cry or sad or break your heart. Because you deserve only what's good baby. I gave you nothing but misery.'

 

'Please don't,' Harry cried. Louis leaned forward and placed his forehead against Harry's.

 

'You know as well as I do that we can't be together. You want something from me that I cannot give you and it will always come between us. We met at the wrong time even though it felt right. I was not ready for a relationship but I fell for you and it was wrong for me to start one. It only ended in you getting very hurt and I can't live with that. Please try to understand. I-I love you too much to let this go on. I am too damaged Harry. I can't and never will get over the fact that I raped you. I. Raped. You. I damaged you in a horrible way. I tarnished your innocent soul and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. What I did to you....' Louis paused and closed his eyes, swallowing hard. Harry was hiccuping quietly.

 

'I can never forgive myself Harry. I have so much to make up for, so much guilt that I feel inside.' Louis raised his head and cupped Harry's face in both his hands. 'You are so precious and I envy the person who will love you and make you happy but its what you deserve and I can't be that person. I only make you cry and miserable because I don't love myself Harry. I hate myself. I detest myself so I can't love you properly. I'm an angry person and I want everything my way and if I don't get my way I get vindictive. You don't need someone like me and I will not stand in the way of your happiness just because I am selfish.' Harry closed his eyes tightly shut, trying to digest all the pain that he was feeling. He knew that Louis was right. It was over. Louis was never going to give up his boys and Louis had raped him and Louis had beat him and no matter how much Harry loved him, he would ever heal him and Harry had to let go because holding on would only destroy him. Harry kissed the palm of Louis' hand.

 

'I hope someone will fix you. You deserve to be fixed and loved. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to fix you,' Harry told him sniffing at his tears. Louis gave him a small sad smile.

 

'It's not your job to fix me sweetheart,' Louis told him wiping away at Harry's tears. 'Just be happy yeah and I hope you can forgive me for all the wrongs I did you.'

 

'I do. I do,' Harry choked out. 'I do.' He kissed his palm again and Louis leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'I know that after all this we can't be friends but if you ever need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me and my doors are always open for you alright?' Harry nodded, tears still falling from his eyes. Louis pulled back and got up.

 

'Goodbye Harry,' he said softly. He turned and walked towards the door. Harry stood up and rushed after him.

 

'Wait,' he said hoarsely. Louis stopped with his hand on the door knob and turned back to look at Harry. Harry stood before him, teary eyes and sniffling. He looked at Louis, his eyes tender and pleading. He leaned forward and placed his lips on Louis'. Louis pulled back instantly.

 

'Harry don't,' he said softly.

 

'Please Louis, just one more time,' Harry begged him.

 

'No. Why make it harder than it already is Harry?' Harry's heart was ramming in his rib cage.

 

'When you walk out that door, you won't be mine anymore. We will be no more. Please, I just want one more time with you. Just give me this please. Make love to me one more time Louis. Its been a long time since I last felt your hands on me or felt you inside me. Just give me this, one last memory of us. If this is goodbye then love me one last time.' Louis looked at him and once again he felt torn. He wanted to do this for Harry and if he had to be honest for himself too but he also felt like it was a difficult thing to make love to the love of his life while they were breaking up. Harry saw him hesitate. He moved closer to him, his lips hovering over Louis'.

 

'Please, love me goodbye,' he whispered and that was all it took for Louis to make up his mind. His arms snaked around Harry's waist, pulling him closer as he crashed his lips to his. Harry parted his lips for Louis and Louis' tongue was inside his warm mouth, licking Harry's mouth. Harry removed Louis' suit jacket, letting it fall to the floor beside the door and began walking backwards pulling Louis with him, not breaking the kiss. They made their stumbling way to Harry's small bedroom. The room was dark and they bumped into furniture as they continued to kiss, not seeing where they were going. Harry pulled away and turned on a small lampshade on the bed side table that gave off a pinkish light due to the red bandana draped over it. It made the room soft and romantic. Louis smiled at him and pecked his lips.

 

'I want to do this right. I want us both to remember this. Give me your phone.' Harry looked at him puzzled but gave Louis his phone. Louis scrolled through Harry's playlist and stopped on his Chicago album and pressed play. "You're The Inspiration" started playing, filling the small room with soft music.

 

You know our love was meant to be  
The kind of love that lasts forever  
And I want you here with me  
From tonight until the end of time

You should know,  
Everywhere I go  
Always on my mind,  
In my heart  
In my soul

 

Louis began undressing Harry as the heartbreaking music played. He unzipped his hoodie and kissed him softly as Harry began to remove Louis' tie, loosening the knot and throwing it on the floor on top if his hoodie. He began to undo the buttons of his shirt slowly as Louis took off his t-shirt.

 

You're the meaning in my life  
You're the inspiration  
You bring feeling to my life  
You're the inspiration  
Wanna have you near me  
I wanna have you hear me sayin'  
No one needs you more than I need you

 

When both their tops had been discarded, Louis ran his hands over Harry's chest, his thumb passing over his nipples and he watched Harry's face, the one he always made when Louis touched his nipples, the way he closed his eyes and hissed then bit down on his lip. Louis wanted to savor everything. He wanted every little detail stamped into his memory so he would never forget the one he had let get away.

 

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see  
We're so in love when we're together  
Now I know that I need you here with me  
From tonight until the end of time  
You should know,  
Everywhere I go  
Always on my mind,  
You're in my heart  
In my soul

 

Louis kissed him again, slowly and deeply and he could feel Harry's chest against his own, his heart beating so fast it echoed inside of him. Harry wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer, holding on to him as if his life depended on it. He knew this was the last time Louis would hold him and kiss him and touch him. A sob escaped his mouth straight into Louis' mouth, echoing inside his chest. Louis broke the kiss and stroked his long hair twirling his finger around a lock.

 

'Shh shh don't cry baby, don't cry my love. It will be alright,' he soothed him but Harry couldn't help it. He began kissing Louis again not wanting to waste any precious moments. Louis had to be strong for him even though it was tearing him apart and he was crying on the inside, the tears slowly sliding down his face. Louis moved his hands down to Harry's jeans and popped the button, pulling his zip down slowly. Instantly, Harry's hands found Louis' pants button and zip and he did the same. Both of them stepped out of their pants while still kissing as the song ended and another one began.

 

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me  
Ooohh no  
Baby please don't go  
And if you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me  
Ooohh no  
Baby please don't go  
Ooohh   
I just want you to stay

 

Louis removed Harry's boxers and his own gently pushing Harry to lie down back on the bed which Harry did. Louis climbed on top of him, the small bed hardly containing the both of them. Harry spread his legs to accommodate Louis.

 

'You're so beautiful,' Louis told him as he kissed his cheeks then made his way slowly down to his neck, sucking gently and licking at Harry's skin. Harry moaned softly and threw his head back, giving Louis more access. Louis continued to kiss his neck while he teased his nipples with his fingers, pinching slowly and rolling them between his thumb and index finger. Harry arched his back off the mattress pushing into Louis' touch. Louis ground down his hips on Harry, rubbing both their hard dicks together.

 

Alove like ours is love that's hard to find  
How could we let it slip away  
We've come too far to leave it all behind  
How could we end it all this way  
When tomorrow comes and we'll both regret  
The things we said today

 

'Please,' Harry whispered in a choked voice. Louis kissed him deeply.

 

'Yes love,' he told him as he grabbed the lube that he knew was in Harry's bedside drawer. As he was coating his fingers, Harry stopped him.

 

'No. Just you. Please,' he said softly. Louis didn't think it was a good idea to make love to him without any prep but the look in Harry's eyes didn't leave room for doubts in his mind. He coated himself well and good and lined up with Harry. He leaned down and kissed him lovingly, softly and began pushing inside him. Harry moaned and dug his short finger nails into Louis back, the tears falling from his eyes to roll down his temples and disappear into his hair.

 

Louis continued to push in slowly loving the feel of how tight and warm Harry was. And also knowing that this was the last time he would feel his boy this way but he knew that it was for the best for both of them. When he had fully bottomed out, he kissed Harry's nose and gave him a small sad smile.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked him gently and Harry just buried his face in the crook of Louis' neck.

 

'Yes,' he whispered. Louis wrapped one of his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer not wanting to leave any space between them, then he ever so slowly, he pulled out and slid back into Harry's tight velvet heat.

 

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me  
Ooohh no  
Baby please don't go  
And if you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me  
Ooohh no  
Baby please don't go  
Ooohh  
I just want you to stay

 

Louis picked up a slow gentle rhythm, both of them moving together, their passion building up. Harry held on to him tightly and Louis held him back just as tightly. They both knew this was the last time they would feel each other this way. Harry was crying softly and Louis was kissing every part of his face that he could reach. Louis wanted to make it last because once they came, it was over. He moved in and out of Harry slowly, skin dragging against skin and he could feel his orgasm building. Harry's dick was leaking pre-cum and Louis knew he was close too.

 

'T-touch me please,' Harry asked him and Louis nodded. He reached down between their bodies and took Harry's hard cock in his hand and began pumping him slowly, moving his hand to the same rhythm of his thrusts inside Harry. They kept their eyes locked onto each other wanting to see each others orgasm face for the last time and when they finally came, it was to sloppy kisses and whispering each others names. They breathed hard and fast together, their chests rising and falling in synchronization, their hearts beating wildly together. Louis leaned down to kiss Harry but Harry turned his face away.

 

'Please leave,' Harry told him, his voice cracking on a sob.

 

'What?' Louis asked him. Harry sniffed and swallowed.

 

'Please go. Its over now. It you give me after love and cuddle me I won't have the strength to let you go,' he hiccupped softly. Louis knew what he meant and understood. He gently pulled out of him and got up off of him. Harry pulled the comforter over him, covering his naked body and turned away from Louis, facing the wall. Louis heard him cry softly, his shoulders shaking with the effort. Louis' own heart was breaking and the sadness he felt was suffocating him but this had to be done, needed to be done. When he was finished getting dressed, he leaned over Harry's shaking form and placed a kiss on his bare shoulder.

 

'Just know that I will always always love you. You have my heart, remember that but you can keep it. I have no use for it any longer.' Harry didn't say anything, he just kept on sobbing softly into his pillow. Louis gave him one last longing look and walked out of the room, closing his door softly behind him. He walked into the living room and picked up his jacket where Harry had dropped it earlier and took out his phone. He had only been here an hour and half. There was still plenty of time till Craig finished his shift. He swiped his phone to check for any missed calls and found about twelve missed calls from Morrison and a few messages. He tapped the last one that had come in about twenty minutes earlier.

 

[To Boss]

The doctor left his shift early. He's on his way. Get out of there. Now!

 

'Shit,' Louis cursed as he opened the door and stepped on to the landing hoping that Craig might be delayed in getting here but he wasn't in for such luck. As he began descending the stairs, Craig was just climbing up. They both stopped on the stairs, frozen glaring at each other.

 

'What the hell are you doing here?' Craig growled at him. Louis held up his hands.

 

'Calm down. I only came to talk to him. To get closure,' Louis explained. His mind told him to stall Craig and hope that Harry gets out of bed and gets dressed before Craig found out what had just happened or else he will be in deep shit.

 

'I told you to stay away from him,' Craig hissed. Louis felt his anger rise inside him but he needed to do this right. He didn't want to antagonize Craig any further. He needed to get on his good side even if in reality he wanted to fucking strangle him with his bare hands.

 

'I know,' he told him in what he hoped was an honest voice. 'And I'm not here to take him back or hurt him. We just needed closure. The way we left it....'

 

'The way you kicked him out you mean,' Craig spat at him.

 

'I didn't fucking kick him out,' Louis growled then took in a deep breath to calm himself down. 'What do you take me for? Kicking him out in that storm?' Craig scoffed.

 

'You didn't hesitate to rape him and beat the shit it out him. Kicking him out of the house in the middle of a raging storm is a thing you would do,' Craig threw at him.

 

'Well I didn't. He left me. And I just came to say a proper goodbye that's all.' He paused and swallowed hard. 'He's all yours.' He hated saying that, it hurt him to say that but it was true. Harry deserved to be happy and if this prick could make him happy then so be it. Craig gave him a victorious smile.

 

'You bet your ass he is. I can treat him way better.' Louis nodded, his face sad.

 

'Yes, I know you can,' Louis spat as he pushed past him to leave. He couldn't stand to be in his fucking company a second longer and not murder the son of a bitch. When Louis reached the bottom landing and was about to go out, he turned and saw Craig insert his own key in the door and it hurt him deeply to know that Harry had already given him the key.

 

'Hey,' Louis called out. Craig looked at him. 'Take care of him yeah. He...he um likes a lot of milk in his tea, no sugar. Make sure he wears socks to bed as his feet tend to remain cold and he...he likes to cuddle. He's always little spoon.' He turned and left before Craig could see the tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

Craig sighed with relief and pushed open the door. He had brought take out and placed the bag on the kitchen counter.

 

'Harry,' he called out but there was no reply. He figured that if Louis had been here then Harry was probably a crying mess which Craig had to clean up. He hated that Louis always made a mess of him. He walked towards Harry's bedroom and pushed open the door, to find a naked Harry, chest streaked with drying cum, in the middle of pulling on a pair of boxers. Craig remained frozen in the doorway, eyes bulging as Harry quickly covered himself with the comforter. It took only a second for Craig to realize what had happened here especially since Louis' tie was grasped in Harry's hand.

 

'What did he do to you?' he asked him through gritted teeth, his fingers curled into fists. Harry looked down and pulled the comforter tighter to his chest, covering himself.

 

'Nothing I didn't want,' Harry said softly. He looked at Craig with big sad green eyes filled with tears. 'Please I want to be alone. I need to be alone for a while Craig.' Craig didn't say anything. He just gave Harry a tight nod and walked out of his bedroom and exited the flat, leaving Harry alone as he wished. When he was out on the landing he realized how Louis had played him again. He had been in there fucking his boy but this time he wouldn't make a fool out of him. This time Craig will destroy him. He walked outside and got into his car, heading to the nearest police station.

 

Unforgettable together, held the whole world in our hands  
Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand, yeah

I know there's nothing I can do to change it  
But is it something that can be negotiated?  
My heart's already breaking, baby, go on, twist the knife

 

Hey,hey, hey  
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?  
Hey, hey,hey  
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight  
Hey, hey, hey  
If tomorrow you won't be mine  
Won't you give it to me one last time?

Oh,baby, let me love you goodbye  
Oh,baby, let me love you goodbye

One more taste of your lips just to bring me back  
To the places we've been and the nights we've had  
Because if this is it then at least we could end it right

Oh,why you wearing that to walk out of my life?  
Hey,hey, hey  
Oh, even though it's over you should stay the night, yeah  
Hey,hey, hey  
If tomorrow you won't be mine  
Won't you give it to me one last time?

Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 22..............


	22. Epiphany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your reads and comments. I truly appreciate it. Was sad to see people leave because the story is "sad"...... this is a story that needs to be sad before the happy happens. Louis is on a road to self discovery thanks to Harry who is trying to be his beacon of light in the darkness. Harry is the candle that burns itself out to give Louis light. I promise....it gets better. I've written chapter 31 so yes it does get better. Thank you to all of you who stick with me.  
> All the love M.

Epiphany.

 

 

Louis got in the backseat of the car as Angus pulled out on to the road. He sat there staring at the front of the car, feeling everything and nothing all at once. So it was over. It was done. Yet it didn't feel better. It didn't feel as if their ties had been broken once and for all. He didn't feel any relief. Louis didn't feel unattached from Harry, if anything he felt even more attached to him. He still felt him on his skin, the sweat from their love making still clinging to his body and Harry's smell was on him, in him and all around him. He closed his eyes and felt Harry beneath him, in his arms, his warm tender flesh giving over to him, Harry's body accepting him inside of him and Louis wanted to cry. He hardly cared that Craig had come to the apartment when he had. It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now anyway. For all Louis cared, Craig could do whatever the fuck he wanted. Having lost Harry, there was not much left to his life now. Still, he pulled out his phone and called Walter, just to let him know what had happened as he had advised him to do.

 

As soon as he got home, he went straight up to his room. No use going back to the office in the state he was in. He didn't want anyone to see him this way, so vulnerable and so broken, ready to burst into tears at any given moment. This was his private funeral and he wanted it kept that way. Personal and private. He slowly walked into his bathroom and undressed, removing each piece of clothing slowly, his mind thinking of Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry. Would his mind ever stop thinking of Harry? Would his heart ever let go of Harry?

 

He sighed heavily and turned on the shower to hot. As the steam filled the room, Louis noticed Harry's things in the bathroom. His pink toothbrush next to his own. His deodorant. His shaving kit. His skin care products. His kiwi shampoo and tea tree conditioner. His apricot body lotion. God he missed him! His absence filled his whole being, suffocating him and pulling him under into despair. No, his heart would never let Harry go. He knew that with certainty and finality.

 

He stepped under the hot water and the cascade fell on him, he felt the last traces of Harry wash away from him, off his body, the water taking away Harry's scent and Harry's sweat off of him, washing it away into the drain as if he never existed but Louis knew that nothing could ever wash Harry away from his heart and mind. He was there to stay and he had to live with the fact that he wasn't the right one for Harry. Louis hung his head under the water, hoping the pain in his heart would ease, hoping that if he told himself that this was for Harry's best, for his well being, that the reason he had done this was that so Harry could be happy, the pain would somehow be more bearable but it was in fact just ripping him apart knowing he had lost the only love he had ever known in his life. And Louis cried, he let the tears come forth, letting the water wash them away into the drain.

 

When he stepped out of the shower, he felt numb and empty as if part of him had been lost, ripped out of him. He felt as if he was in mourning and in away he was in mourning. Mourning the passing of love, the loss of a loved one he held so dear, only it was worse because Harry was still alive and there was no respite from this pain or any moving on from it. It was all about endurance. He was sad and hollow but he wasn't angry. He was surprised that he didn't feel any anger, just a huge void deep inside him. Louis knew that the decision they had made was a necessary one especially for Harry. Harry needed space, freedom and to evolve. He had to graduate and follow his dreams and fall in love and get married and have babies. That was Harry's future, a future Louis knew he could never give him. Louis would never marry him and give him babies, two things that he knew Harry looked forward to in life, so yes it was better this way.

 

He got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt then called Leonard to bring him up a few boxes and leave them outside his door on the landing. He didn't feel like interacting with anyone. He just wanted to be alone. After a while, he heard shuffling outside his bedroom door and knew that Leonard was leaving the boxes. When outside was quiet again, Louis opened the door, peeking out to make sure that nobody was there and when he was sure he was all alone, he brought the empty boxes in. He sighed heavily and went to the closet, taking out Harry's clothes, carefully folding them and putting them into the boxes. His heart ached so much. Every piece of clothing reminded Louis of where and when Harry had worn that shirt or suit or pants. Every item that he delicately held in his hands was a memory lived, a memory made together that Louis knew he would never forget. He continued to silently fold the clothes and when he was done, he brought in another box and put in Harry's boots, his chest aching as he stored away Harry's babies, as Harry loved to call them, ready to be sent back to their owner.

 

After he was done with the boots, he turned to the two top drawers of the dresser that held Harry's t-shirts, boxers, panties, socks and pj pants. He smiled to himself as he picked up his Spiderman socks which Harry really loved and his Captain America boxers. So many memories assaulted Louis, memories of his last ten months with Harry, ten months that had changed his entire being. Would he be able to go back to a life without Harry? He shook his head trying to separate himself from the painful memories and get the task at hand done trying to save himself from more pain. He walked into the bathroom and collected all of Harry's toiletries, putting them into a separate box.

 

Finally, he stood in his bedroom, surrounded by a few cardboard boxes that held the faint remnants of the love of his life. He taped them shut quickly not wanting to dwell anymore on the fact that it was all gone now and that he had to move on from this closed chapter in his life. When the boxes where taped shut, he took them out onto the landing, closed his bedroom door and called Leonard with instructions to pick up the boxes and have them delivered as soon as possible to Harry. Then, he picked up his bottle of Jamesons, lay on the bed and drank himself into oblivion.

 

 

X

 

 

The next day, Louis went to the office as usual. He swallowed his pain, did his best to look decent while nursing a broken heart and a hangover and marched into his office like the boss that he was. As soon as he sat down, Lynn tapped on his office door and entered.

 

'Good morning Sir,' she told him, sitting opposite his desk with her tablet at the ready. Louis squinted at her.

 

'Good morning,' he mumbled as he rubbed his temples. God he felt awful. 'Before we start can I have a double espresso and some paracetamol please. My head is killing me.'

 

'Are you sick Sir? I can cancel for you....'

 

'I'm fine Lynn. I just need something for my headache that's all.' Lynn nodded and left the office. There was no way he was going to go home to an empty house that still held memories of Harry and wallow in self pity and pain, drowning in memories and what could've been, pining over somebody he had to let go because he was unable to love the person as he deserved to be loved. He wasn't going to suffocate in guilt because feeling guilty meant that he regretted his decision and this had to be done. This had been a necessity for Harry's best interests. He was going to throw himself into his work, sit through meetings, business lunches and travel to his abroad companies to see first hand how things were moving along. Anything to keep him distracted from the blasted pain in his heart.

 

Lynn returned with the espresso and pills. Louis thanked her and swallowed the pills then sipped his coffee.

 

'What's on the agenda?' he asked her without further ado. The sooner his mind was put to work the sooner he could take it off Harry. Lynn listed all his appointments and he was thankful that his day was full and very busy. By the time it was over, he knew he's be mentally exhausted.

 

'You have a memo from Shawn in the gaming department,' Lynn informed him. Louis sighed. Shawn. Niall's boyfriend. Niall, Harry's friend. Niall, whom he hurt and now they don't talk anymore.

 

'What does he want?' Louis asked her curtly.

 

'He asked if there is going to be a replacement for Mr. Horan though he thinks that Mr. Horan should be reinstated in his job as his creative ideas......'

 

'Well Mr. Horan won't be coming back anytime soon so tell Shawn to handle it how he sees fit. I don't have time for this petty shit.' Lynn nodded and sighed inwardly, seeing that her boss was back to his grumpy self. She got up.

 

'Will that be all Sir?' she asked him.

 

'Yes thank you,' he told her dismissing her. As soon as she left, Louis threw himself into his work, not leaving an ounce of his brain to think about Harry.

 

 

X

 

Louis worked steadily until a tap on his door disturbed him. He looked at his watch and saw that it was after lunch already.

 

'Yes,' he called as he continued to type on his laptop. Lynn popped her head in through the door.

 

'Sir I'm sorry to disturb you but there are two police officers asking to see you,' Lynn informed him. Louis looked up from his laptop feeling his blood turn to ice in his veins.

 

'Send them in,' he told her as he got up and put on his suit jacket, ready to receive the two gentlemen. Louis felt himself tremble on the inside. The door to his office opened again and two plain clothes officers walked in. Louis shook their hands and showed them to the two vacant chairs across from his desk. When they were seated, Louis sat down.

 

'What can I do for you?' Louis asked them politely but straight to the point. He looked from one to the other in expectation, his heart in his throat.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson thank you for seeing us. We are here regarding a matter that had been brought to our attention to a case closely related to you,' one of the officers told Louis and Louis could feel his heart beat so fast that it hurt.

 

'May I ask what case you are referring to?' Louis asked him, keeping his exterior cool while on the inside he was shaking. He watched the two officers exchange a glance then the other officer looked at Louis.

 

'A rape case,' the second officer told him and Louis' heart plummeted to his feet. So the bastard had gone to the police after all even though he had told him that Harry was all his. He still had to make sure that Louis was out of the way for good. Louis nodded but said nothing. The first officer spoke up again.

 

'If you would kindly come down with us to the police station we will be able to give you more details and I suggest you call your lawyer,' he told Louis. Louis nodded again and stood up.

 

'After you,' he told the gentlemen indicating the door. The two officers walked out and Louis followed them, closing the door behind them. He gave Lynn some instructions and told her that he didn't know what time he would be back. She assured him that everything will be taken care of at the office and he knew that he could count on her. He got into the elevator with the two officers and they were all silent on the way down. Outside, Louis followed them to an unmarked police car and he got into the back. He was scared. He never had had any trouble with the law and the reason he was scared was that he was guilty here. He knew that Craig's DNA will match his if he had to give it. On the drive to the police station, Louis called Walter to let him know that he had been picked up by the police and after that, he called Leonard informing him of what was going on and to debrief his PR team about his current situation.

 

Louis sat in the back seat of the police car and he was shivering and sweating through his shirt. He was worried about Harry and he knew that he would do everything within his legal power to protect Harry and not have him involved in this. He hoped that Craig hadn't mentioned Harry's name to the police, that at least he could keep Harry's identity confidential. A doctor shouldn't reveal anything about his patient! Louis knew that well enough and he hoped in his heart that Craig was decent enough to keep Harry out of it. Craig knew there would be a scandal if this came out. At this point, Louis didn't really care what happened to him. He had done something wrong and he was going to pay for it and a part of him was glad that he would get what he deserved for hurting Harry. Those that hurt others should get what they deserved. He knew that only too well.

 

You are not so different from him are you? You ended up just like him in the backseat of a police car! Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree huh?

 

Louis ground his teeth together and his fingers turned into fists, his short fingernails digging into the soft flesh of his palm. He knew he was nothing like HIM yet the situation he was in now, didn't make him any better than HIM! Louis hated himself that he had done what he had promised himself over and over not to do. He felt disgusted that he had turned into this person.

 

Yet here you are and no surprise to be honest. You were just a walking fuck up waiting to happen. You can be a millionaire and wear expensive suits, drive fancy cars and have people at your beck and call but you cannot wash away where you come from or from....whom you come from!

 

Louis felt as if he was going to cry as memories from that night so long time ago seeped back into his memories. Seventeen years ago at the age of thirteen, he had sat in the back seat of a police car too, his hands soaked in blood and he had been driven away watching as two ambulances stopped in front of his small run down house in Doncaster...........

 

He was shaken out of his thoughts by the police officer opening his door for him. He hadn't even realized that they had arrived having been too wrapped up in his dark thoughts and memories. Louis swallowed hard and stepped out of the car, facing the police building in front of him. He couldn't stop shaking but he kept up his cool and stern exterior. He would be damned if anyone saw him break or vulnerable. He followed the policemen inside the building. He was shown into a room and offered a chair to sit down. The room was blank and sterile and empty save for a table and four chairs. Louis sat down, feeling the emptiness of the cold room close in on him, suffocating him.

 

'Can I get you a cup of tea Sir?' a young policeman in uniform asked him. Louis looked at him and gave him a small smile. He was no older than Harry, probably still starting out his career in the force.

 

'That would be lovely. Thank you,' Louis told him politely. A cup of tea would surely calm his nerves down. He looked at his watch. It was two thirty in the afternoon. Walter should be here anytime. Louis tapped his foot nervously, his knee bouncing up and down under the table. He was nervous. He took out his phone and was tempted to call Harry but before the temptation could consume him, the door opened again and the young policeman walked in with a styrofoam cup full of hot tea which he handed to Louis. Louis thanked him and took a sip. He was glad to find that it was not so horrible as he thought it would be.

 

A loud voice boomed outside in the corridor, a voice Louis recognized as Walter's.

 

'You had no right to bring my client down here. And on what charges? Are there even any charges here?' Walter yelled as he barged into the room followed by the two policemen who had picked Louis up at his office. He slammed his expensive briefcase on the table and shot Louis a warning look which Louis interpreted as to keep his mouth shut.

 

'There are no charges as yet.....'

 

'Then what the fuck is my client doing here? In a police station? In this shitty room drinking shitty tea?' Walter roared. The two officers looked at each other.

 

'Look, we haven't interrogated Mr. Tomlinson....

 

'And for that, you better be thankful. Interrogating my client without legal representation is not a very wise step to take unless you want a lawsuit slapped in your face. Now, tell me why is he here?'

 

'There has been an accusation made in regards to Mr. Tomlinson regarding a rape,' the officer explained to Walter. Walter was silent for a second then burst out laughing.

 

'Rape?' he asked still laughing. 'Do you think my client, a man of his status, capable of raping anyone? And who pray, has accused my client of raping them?' Walter asked a little sarcastically, drying fake tears from his eyes. The officers exchanged a look.

 

'It's someone on behalf of the victim that was raped.' Again Walter looked at them in amusement.

 

'So let me get this straight. You bring my client in before letting him consult with me on claims made by somebody on behalf of somebody that my client supposedly raped?' The officers nodded. Walter shook his head.

 

'We are leaving,' he informed them. 'Louis let's go.' Louis made to get up but the officer stopped him.

 

'This person claims to have your client's DNA.' Walter rolled his eyes.

 

'And how may I ask did he obtain my client's DNA?'

 

'From the victim,' the officer informed him. Walter huffed feeling annoyed with these two police officers.

 

'This is a screwed up mess. None of it is making any sense. Start by telling me who is making the accusations here and who is the victim,' Walter told them even though he knew everything already but they didn't need to know that. One of the officers opened a file and looked through it then back up at Walter.

 

'A Dr Craig Blake is accusing Mr. Tomlinson of raping and bodily harming Mr. Harry Styles,' the officer read from the file. So the fucker had involved Harry after all! He had given out his name to the police. So much for protecting him the shit bag!

 

'You do know that my client has been in a relationship with Mr. Styles for the past ten months right so I highly doubt that my client raped his partner that lived with him in the same house,' Walter scoffed. Louis shifted uneasily in his seat.

 

But he did!

 

'We were made aware of their relationship and I believe that Dr. Blake referred to this relationship as abusive.'

 

'That's preposterous!' Walter exclaimed. 'Mr. Tomlinson is far from abusive.'

 

'Well in that case,' the officer said, 'all that we need is for Mr. Tomlinson to submit a DNA test....

 

'He will do no such thing!' Walter interrupted him. 'My client did not rape his partner.' The officer nodded.

 

'That may be so but the report has been filed and we need to follow up through on this. We need his DNA. If it doesn't match the DNA provided by Dr. Blake then your client is free to go. If your client declines to give a DNA, we will bring in Mr. Styles.....'

 

'No!' Louis said a little too loudly. All eyes in the room went on him.

 

'Louis not a word,' Walter warned him. Louis looked at Walter then back at the officers.

 

'Leave Harry out of this. I will give you the DNA test.'

 

'No you will not!' Walter told him sternly. He turned to the officers. 'I need to talk to my client in private.' The two policemen nodded and left the room. Walter turned on Louis.

 

'Are you fucking crazy? What the fuck do you think you're doing? If you give them your DNA it will match the one Craig has already given to them,' Walter growled at him.

 

'I will not let them bring Harry into this,' Louis said firmly.

 

'So what, give them your DNA, they match it and we take it to court? He will still be brought in to testify. He is the key witness and if he is put on the stand, I will fucking bury him I'm warning you. My job is to protect you not him!' Louis huffed and ran a hand through his hair. Walter could see his devastation. 'Look Louis, let me talk to him. Let me see how Craig obtained that DNA sample from him first. Maybe Harry is in on it with Craig. Maybe he wants to get you back......'

 

'No. Harry would never do that. Ever.'

 

'Alright that's good then. I will speak to him before the officers go and get him.' Louis shook his head.

 

'No leave him out of it. He's going through enough and he's got his studies to concentrate on. Leave him be. It's that mother fucker that got me here in the first place not Harry. Leave him alone. Please Walter.' Walter sighed.

 

'I'm not bringing him in Louis. I swear. I will just ask him a few questions on the down low just so I know how to proceed that's all. I will not involve him but I need to know how Dr. Blake got the DNA sample.' Louis thought about it for a few seconds then looked up at Walter.

 

'Don't approach him. I'll give you his phone number and just talk to him on the phone. Nothing more you got that?' Walter nodded as Louis gave him Harry's phone number.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry sat in his seat listening to his professor doing his lecture but his mind wasn't there. He could hear the rumble of the professor's deep voice but the words were not penetrating Harry's brain. He sat there looking vacant and bored, eyes focused on something distant that Harry wasn't even seeing. His mind played back his last meeting with Louis, their final goodbye. Harry missed him. He missed him to the core of his very soul and he didn't know how he was supposed to carry on with his life as if Louis had never been a part of it. How was he supposed to forget the last ten beautiful months of his life and carry on living?

 

The door opening brought Harry out of his thoughts. The dean's secretary walked in, her heels clicking on the ceramic tiles as she approached the professor. Harry and the rest of the students watched as the secretary conversed under her breath with the professor. The professor nodded, then lifted his head and looked in Harry's direction.

 

'Mr. Styles, you are wanted in the Dean's office. You are excused for the rest of the lecture. Please come see me tomorrow in my office so I can hand you your assignment.' Harry blinked in surprise. The Dean wanted to see him? He felt confused but he quickly packed up his things and followed the secretary down the hall towards the office. As he followed her, his mind made up a hundred scenarios of why the Dean could possibly want to see him, but none came close as to what he found when he stepped into the office.

 

'Mr. Styles,' the Dean greeted him as Harry looked from him to the two men seated in the chairs opposite the desk. 'These are police officers Smith and Dyer. They need to speak with you.' Harry gulped. The police? What did they want? Had something happened? To Louis? To his friends? To his dad? His mind whirled and he felt faint. He could see the blackness creep up on him from the corner of his eyes and he wanted to desperately close them. The Dean saw him sway on his feet and quickly pulled out a chair for him and helped him sit down, then asked his secretary to bring him a glass of water. Harry thanked him and looked at the two officers.

 

'Mr. Styles,' Dyer began. 'We need you to come down to the station with us to answer some questions.' Harry felt his heart begin to race. He had never gotten himself into trouble with the law yet here he was being asked to go down to the police station.

 

'W-why?' he asked quietly because he felt as if he had no energy to speak at all. His head throbbed and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. The two officers looked to the Dean then back at Harry.

 

'We would rather do this at the station. Its personal,' Smith told him. Harry nodded mechanically. The two officers got up and shook hands with the Dean, then escorted Harry to their car. As he sat in the back, his mind couldn't stop throwing things at him of what they might want with him at the station. He wished he could call Louis or one of his friends but he had no one. Besides Craig. Yes, he told himself, as soon as they offered him a phone call, he would call Craig.

 

The car stopped outside of the building and Harry was ushered inside to an empty room similar to the one Louis was in, just a few doors down the corridor. Harry didn't like the room and he was feeling nervous.

 

'Why am I here? What did I do?' he asked nervously, pulling at his bottom lip which he pinched between his thumb and fore finger.

 

'Please sit down,' Smith told him and Harry was quick to slump into the offered chair. He looked from one officer to the other, his eyes big like a doe caught in headlights.

 

'Mr. Styles,' Dyer began. 'Do you know a Mr. Tomlinson?' Harry's heart stuttered in his chest, fear clawing inside of him. He began to sweat, the pounding of his heart beating a steady rhythm into his ears and once again he felt faint. Had something happened to Louis? Oh God let him be okay!

 

'Is he alright?' he asked, his voice barely making it past his lips.

 

'I take it you know him then,' Smith replied.

 

'Is he alright?' Harry asked again this time with more urgency in his voice, the panic evident.

 

'He is fine,' Dyer confirmed. 'Has Mr. Tomlinson ever hurt you?' Harry was taken aback by the question and it took him a moment to realize what he was being asked.

 

'What?'

 

'Has Mr. Tomlinson ever hurt you? Like beat you and rape you?' Smith asked him. The question began to sink into Harry but it confused him. How did they know and why was he here about this? What was going on? He looked from one to the other.

 

'I um I think you should ask me whether I want a lawyer now? Because I would like a lawyer please and I would also like my one phone call,' he told them as he pressed his lips together, not saying anything else because he didn't know what to say to their questions and he knew from the cop television shows that he watched, that he had the right to ask for a lawyer to help you in a similar situation and that he was also allowed a phone call. And God only knew Harry needed help. The two officers looked at each other, nodded and exited the room.

 

 

X

 

 

Walter entered the room and found Louis slumped in his chair, his tie loose and his suit jacket on the back of the chair. Louis stood up as soon as Walter walked in.

 

'Did you talk to Harry?' he asked him right away. Walter sighed heavily.

 

'I have been trying to call him but no reply. The call keeps going to voicemail.' Walter paused and took in a deep breath. 'Louis they have already picked him up. He's here just a few doors down but before you ask, no you can't see him.' Louis ran a hand through his hair.

 

'Motherfucker! He's alone. He'll be confused as to what's going on here. He needs a fucking lawyer. A good one.'

 

'Yeah the state will get him one.....'

 

'Are you fucking kidding me right now?' Louis spat at him angrily. 'A poor man's lawyer? Harry needs somebody to defend him not a fucking two cents lawyer! He...he gets confused when asked questions he doesn't know how to answer. He panics and he will have a panic attack and he starts to stutter. He needs somebody who can look after him and explain things to him when he gets confused.' Louis paced the room, thinking. He stopped and looked at Walter.

 

'Can you get somebody you trust?' he asked him. Walter thought for a second then he looked at Louis.

 

'I can maybe get him Grace Mitchell but she will cost him. She doesn't come cheap.'

 

'She will cost me! I will pay her for him. Get her down here. Now!' Louis ordered. Walter gave him a long lingering look.

 

'This boy really means a lot to you doesn't he?' Walter asked him and Louis' face softened.

 

'You have no idea. Now do your fucking job and send her to Harry.' Walter nodded and pulled out his phone.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry was taken to the telephone in the station's common room so that he could make his phone call. He dialed Craig's number who picked up after two rings.

 

'Hello?' he said.

 

'Craig,' Harry said softly into the mouth piece.

 

'Harry hi. How are you?' Craig asked him casually. Harry took in a deep breath.

 

'Not too good. I-I'm at the p-police station. I-I don't know if I'm arrested or not. I-I don't know what's going on,' Harry said in a soft voice.

 

'At the police station?' Craig asked him alarmed. 'What did they tell you?' Harry played with the wire of the telephone.

 

'They are asking me about Louis, about you know that time when I came to the hospital and you....'

 

'About when he raped you,' Craig said for him.

 

'I didn't say anything. I think I need a lawyer. What do I do?' Harry asked him in a desperate voice. 'I-I don't want to say anything that might hurt Louis.'

 

'Just tell them the truth Harry. Tell them what he did to you,' Craig urged him on. 'He deserves to pay for what he did to you. You can put him away for at least eight years Harry.' Harry furrowed his brows.

 

'You don't seem surprised at all that I am at a police station being asked about Louis. Why is that?' Harry asked him and Craig realized that Harry was catching up.

 

'Well he's had it coming. I'm surprised it took this long for the police to pick him up,' Craig told him calmly.

 

'Craig what did you do?' Harry asked him on the brink of a panic attack.

 

'Nothing,' Craig said defensively.

 

'How did they find out about this Craig? What did you do?' Harry asked him because the doubts in his mind were steering him into a direction he didn't want to go. Craig is his friend. He would never.....would he?

 

'Harry calm down. I didn't do anything and I don't know how they found out but just tell them the truth.....'

 

'I have to go,' Harry told him and he hung up. He sat there feeling betrayed because something inside him was telling him that Craig was behind this because nobody knew what had happened besides himself, Louis and Craig. But Craig was his friend! Why would he do this and then deny it? Harry was escorted back to the room and he slumped in the chair again just as a well dressed woman in an expensive skirt suit and extremely high heels entered the room and looked at Harry, giving him a pearly white toothy smile.

 

'Hello I am Grace Mitchell and I am your legal representative,' she told him as she turned towards the two officers. 'I would like a private moment with my client to consult and legally advice him.' The two officers nodded and exited the room. Harry looked at her and blinked. She was decked in Gucci and Vivianne Westwood, her briefcase a Louis Vuitton, her watch a Michael Kors.

 

'I can't afford you,' Harry told her softly. Grace smiled at him and sat down in the vacant chair next to him, crossing one knee over the other.

 

'Don't worry. I come compliments of your ex,' she told him giving him a wink.

 

'Louis sent you?' Harry asked surprised.

 

'Unless you have another ex,' Grace told him with a smile. 'Now, let's get down to this. What have you told them?'

 

'Nothing. I haven't said anything,' Harry told her defensively. Grace opened a folder which she took out of her briefcase.

 

'Okay that's good. Walter, that's Mr. Tomlinson's lawyer has filled me up on this whole mess of a case.'

 

'What is going on exactly?' Harry asked her. He knew but he wanted confirmation. Grace sighed.

 

'Well seems like your doctor friend is accusing Mr. Tomlinson of raping you and beating you which Mr. Tomlinson has admitted to his lawyer that he has....'

 

'He hasn't!' Harry stopped her. Grace raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at Harry.

 

'He hasn't?' Harry looked down at the table top.

 

'No, he hasn't.'

 

'Okay,' Grace said not believing him because she knew the truth of what had happened but she found it endearing that Harry was protecting his ex lover and it was a good thing for the case too. 'So how come your doctor friend has presented the police with a DNA sample that matches Louis'?' Harry's head snapped up and he looked at her with wide eyes.

 

'He's done what?' Grace looked down at the file.

 

'According to Walter's notes, Dr. Craig Blake took a DNA sample from you when you went into the ER. He had the DNA sample tested and its Mr. Tomlinson's DNA. Harry, did you give him the authority to take that sample from you?'

 

'No I did not. I would never...how could he do that to me? I- I didn't know he....'

 

'Its okay its okay. Calm down,' Grace reassured him. 'So you never at any point authorized a DNA sample to be taken from you?'

 

'Never,' Harry confirmed.

 

'Alright that's great. I guess that's all then,' she told him as she pushed the file back into her briefcase.

 

'Am I free to go?' Harry asked her.

 

'Yes I should think so. I don't think they have any reason to hold you here, seeing the case against Mr. Tomlinson will be dropped because the evidence was not procured legally. Just wait here for a minute.' Grace picked up her briefcase and left the room.

 

 

X

 

 

Grace walked into the room where Louis and Walter waited. As soon as she walked in, Louis was on his feet.

 

'How is he?' he asked her, deep concern lacing his voice.

 

'He's pretty shaken but he confirmed that he did not authorize a DNA sample to be taken from him. That should render the sample as illegal evidence and the case to be dropped.' Walter ran a hand through his hair.

 

'It's not going to be that easy. We just had a call from Dr. Blake's lawyer and they will be pushing for a DNA sample from Louis to match. If it matches, which it will, this case will go to court. Louis will be charged with rape and bodily harm.'

 

'What? Can he even do that since the sample was obtained without permission? Surely his lawyer knows that it will be treated as invalid evidence,' Grace asked clearly thrown off by the sudden change in the case.

 

'He can push for it though. We have to go in front of a judge. The judge will hear all three statements of what happened from all three then decide whether or not to make Louis sit for a DNA test or not based on what the judge thinks.' Louis looked at Walter.

 

'I won't make Harry sit through this,' Louis told him with solid determination. Walter shook his head.

 

'It's not your call Louis. The judge will make him give his version of what happened. You will all be under oath so he will have to give his version of things and if your DNA is taken well.....'

 

'We go to court,' Louis said. 'Yeah I know.'

 

'Once the DNA comes back a match, you will be charged then the judge will open a case against you,' Walter explained. Louis ran a hand through his hair. He felt tired and mentally drained.

 

'So basically I'm screwed. If Harry will be under oath he has to tell the truth. I need to talk to him.'

 

'That's impossible,' Walter told him firmly. 'You can't have any contact with him until we get through this. If Dr. Blake's lawyer finds out you had contact with Harry, he can and will attempt to play the bribing the main witness card. He might even try and persuade the judge you tried to sway Harry into lying so you are to stay away from him at all costs. No calls, no texts, no messages, no skype, no fucking tweets, no emails, nothing. I mean it Louis. That asshole can ask for a warrant to have your phone and laptop confiscated and searched so no contact with Harry whatsoever. Do you understand?' Louis looked at him in disbelief.

 

'You must be shitting me right?' Walter sighed.

 

'I shit you not. This could get serious Louis. That asshole wants you to pay and he's out for your blood. You need to realize that there could be an actual case here and evidence is all against you, so my advice to you is, stay away from Harry. I already advised you to do so but you did not listen to me which is why we are here right now. Do not endanger yourself any further. You could do serious time in jail! Let me do my job and try to get you out of this mess.' Louis nodded then turned his attention to Grace.

 

'Bring Harry up to speed on whats going to happen. Don't surprise dump this on him. Tell him....' Louis paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'Tell him not to be scared and not to worry and that if we do go in front of a judge, tell him to just tell the truth. Insist on it. Tell him to just say what happened and that I'm okay with it. Tell him I know the consequences for what I did and I'm ready. Tell him that.Tell him it's not his fault but all mine. I don't want him worried about what to say. Just tell him to tell the truth and not to worry about me. Grace prepare him. Make sure he's alright and not nervous.'

 

'And,' Walter interjected, 'advice him against staying away from Craig. In fact suggest interaction....'

 

'What the fuck?' Louis growled interrupting him. 'You want me to stay away from him but he can interact with that motherfucker? The fuck Walt?'

 

'Louis, if Harry and Craig interact, it will work better in your favor because we can play the bribing the main witness card ourselves. It works both ways you know.' Louis glared at Walter.

 

'No. I don't want Harry playing any part in this shit.' Walter made a snorting sound.

 

'He is the main role in this shit Louis!' Louis stood up.

 

'Regardless, I want him to have as little as can be to do with his. Both of you make sure that's the case.' Grace nodded and left the room again.

 

 

X

 

 

As soon as Grace opened the door to the room Harry was in, his head snapped up and he looked at her.

 

'Am I fee to go now?' he asked her and he reminded her of a little child asking if he could go home. Grace gave him a sympathetic smile and sat down across the table from him.

 

'Harry there's been a little complication. You might need to come back in again to give your account of events of what happened between you and Louis that ended you in the ER. And you might have to give that statement under oath, in front of a judge,' Grace told him and watched him start to panic. Harry shifted in his seat, fidgeting with his fingers.

 

'Are w-we like going to court?' he asked her and she could hear the tremor in his voice.

 

'No Harry, not like that. We will go into a chamber down at City Hall and sit with a judge. You and Dr. Blake and Louis will each give detailed accounts of what happened than night, under oath,' she explained and Harry was already shaking his head.

 

'I can't,' he whispered. 'I-I won't do that. I can't do that!' Grace reached over across the table and was aiming for Harry's hand but then thought better of it and pulled her hand back.

 

'Louis told me to tell you not to worry. He told me to tell you to just tell the truth Harry. He told you not to worry about him and that he will be fine,' Grace told him trying to reassure him but Harry began to panic and become distressed.

 

'I can't do that!' he nearly screamed at her. 'Do you know what will happen if I....' he stopped and gulped.

 

'Harry, Louis has a very good lawyer. He will be alright.' When Harry met her eyes, they were glistening.

 

'I will not send him to prison,' he said quietly then he looked up at Grace. 'I won't be able to live with myself if that happens. Can I please go now?'

 

'Yes. I'll call you to let you know the date when we have to do this.' Harry nodded and pushed his chair back, getting up slowly.

 

'Thank you,' he told her as he outstretched his hand which Grace took and shook gently. His hand felt very fragile in hers even though it was very big. He left the room, walking into the main area of the station. As he walked out, he saw Louis walking out with his lawyer and their eyes met across the crowded room. Harry's breath hitched in his throat as he took in Louis' appearance. He looked disheveled and tired and worried, his tie undone, his shirt crumpled. Harry wanted to go to him, wanted to hold him and let himself be held by Louis because this was too much for the both of them and he was scared and Louis looked very worried and none of this was okay. Harry was terrified of making a mistake and making things worse for Louis. Harry stood there immobilized, watching Louis walk away with his lawyer their eyes still locked on each other, unspoken words on their lips and when Louis gave him a small sad smile and a reassuring nod, Harry felt his knees ready to buckle. He wanted to break down and cry.

 

As Harry stepped outside into the cold afternoon air, he knew what he had to do. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. His finger hovered over Leonard's name but there was no room for doubts or fears or second thoughts in his mind. He tapped the name before he could change his mind and waited until Leonard picked up after the third ring.

 

'This is Mr. Tomlinson's personal assistant how may I be of service?' Leonard answered professionally, his voice cheerful.

 

'Hi Leonard its um Harry,' Harry said softly into the phone.

 

'Harry!' Leonard said not hiding his surprise. 'What can I do for you?'

 

'I-I need your help,' Harry told him.

 

 

X

 

 

It was a week later when Grace called Harry to inform him that the hearing was to take place in a few days. Harry had instantly become a nervous wreck. He had already been a nervous wreck since both he and Louis had walked out of the station a week before. As they had walked out, there had been a few paps outside on the steps of City Hall waiting for them and Harry had wondered how for fuck's sake did they know about the whole thing. They had taken pictures of him walking out of the police station and of Louis with his lawyer, all of them shouting for comments. Since then, all week, both he and Louis had been on the tabloids and social media with cruel headlines screaming out :"Multi-billionaire tycoon accused of raping student boyfriend.""Louis Tomlinson CEO of TGE in rape scandal.""Student exposes Billionaire Ex in Rape and sexual harassment scandal." All headlines where accompanied by their pictures and articles which were more gossip and slander than truth. The Sun was calling Louis all sorts of names and accusing him of being a rapist.There were pictures of him with Louis and some of the tabloids had called Harry a "sleazy flirt" and "Tomlinson's Boy Toy". Harry hated all of it. He hated what they were saying about Louis and how they were making him out to be somebody he was not! They didn't know him! How dare they say this shit about him? He really didn't care what they said about him, though in truth it did get to him as much as he tried not to let it, but it killed him to read what they were saying about Louis.

 

Craig had called him on several occasion but Harry had never taken his calls. He was too angry at him for doing this. For exposing Louis to the media. For getting him bad feedback and having his name slandered in the press. Yes, he was getting dragged in the mud too but he was a nobody and people really didn't care about him. They were using him as a stepping stone to get to Louis. Harry knew how the media worked. Anything to get at Louis, to give him bad publicity and discredit him publicly. Harry wondered how he was doing and he wanted so much to call him but Grace had advised him to stay away from Louis until all this blew over and Harry didn't want to make things worse by being present in Louis' life. He had caused enough damage as it was because even though it was Craig who had brought this about, Harry blamed himself for it. If he hadn't gone to hospital or trusted Craig. If he had just shut his mouth, if he had not made Louis angry that night, none of this would have happened. Now because of him, Louis was being accused of being a rapist and of having sexually harassed him and beat him. Louis had much to lose from all this and Harry felt that it was all his fault.

 

Now it was Tuesday and he had to wait until Friday to go to the hearing. Every time he thought about it, he felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to make things right by Louis, he had to, he owed him that but he doubted he could go through with it. Harry knew that he was weak and always managed to fuck everything up.

 

Eventually Friday arrived and Harry found himself sitting on a bench in one of the corridors at City Hall, dressed in a crumpled white shirt, an old black tie that he had worn for his mother's funeral and a black blazer. It was fundamental to wear a shirt and tie when in the presence of a judge. He had pulled up his long hair in the neatest bun he could muster giving his hands couldn't stop shaking. He thought he looked decent enough for a hearing but his attire was the last and farthest thing on his mind. As soon as he had arrived at City Hall, a swarm of paps began taking his pictures and calling out things to him about himself and Louis, things that hurt. Harry had ducked his head down and pushed his way through the throng of paps and flashing cameras in his face until he was safely inside.

 

Now Harry sat all by himself, sweating and panicking, waiting as he chewed his bottom lip nervously and bounced his knee up and down. It wouldn't do to have an anxiety attack right now because he needed to keep a clear head so that he could do this. Grace had advised him to tell the truth, the whole truth of it but how could he do that without implicating Louis? Harry was well aware that with his account of things and the DNA sample that Craig had, Louis would be charged and taken to prison and Harry knew that he would never do that to Louis.

 

A commotion brought his head up and out of his thoughts as he looked down the corridor towards the front entrance of City Hall to see a crowd of people entering. They headed his way and when they got closer, he could see that it was Louis with his lawyer. Harry's heart began to beat fast in his chest, his hands became clammy as he watched Louis walking towards him. He hadn't seen him yet as Louis was engrossed talking to his lawyer and some other men in suits but then he turned his head and their eyes met and Harry wanted to break down. Louis' eyes were dull and sad and Harry could see the dark circles under his eyes but he could also see the spark Louis got in his eyes every time he had looked at him and Harry just wanted to get up off the bench and run into his arms because God knows how much he needed some comfort. And by the looks of it, Louis needed it too. But Louis kept on walking, surrounded by his team of men and passed by Harry, their eyes still locked on each other and once again, Louis gave him a small nod and smile, barely visible to anyone else but the two of them and Harry knew that he could never do Louis any wrong.

 

Louis passed him and their eye contact broke and Harry was left alone once again as Louis was escorted into a room at the end of the corridor. Harry knew that he needed to be strong but right at that moment he felt lonely and weak and scared. Another commotion brought his head back up and this time from the front entrance, he saw Craig and his lawyer walking down the corridor towards him. Harry immediately saw Craig's eyes on him but Harry couldn't look at him. He just couldn't. If he did, he didn't know what he'd do so he lowered his eyes and stared at his boots until Craig passed him by. When they walked past him, Harry let out a breath that he had been holding. This was all so messed up.

 

A hand on his shoulder made him jump nearly out of his skin. He looked up and found Grace next to him.

 

'Good morning Harry,' she told him gently. Louis had told her all week to be gentle with him because Harry was sensitive and that she had to take good care of him and help him through this. Harry gave her a small smile.

 

'Good morning,' he whispered.

 

'Are you ready?' Grace asked him. Harry looked down and bit his bottom lip.

 

'No,' he said quietly. Grace sat down next to him.

 

'Harry its going to be alright. Just tell the truth.....'

 

'I know,' Harry told her as he looked up at her and met her blue grey. 'It's exactly what I'm going to do. The whole truth and nothing but the truth right?'

 

'Right,' she told him, giving him a bright smile. 'Shall we get going then? Everyone is already in there.' Harry gulped but nodded. He picked up his bag and flung it on his shoulder then followed Grace and her Louboutins as they clicked on the tiles toward that dreaded room at the end of the corridor. Grace pushed the door and they entered, all eyes on her and Harry. Harry was surprised to find himself in what looked like a large board room. The walls were paneled in dark wood as was the floor. There was a large table in the middle that easily seated twenty people. A picture of the Queen and Prince Philip hung at the end of the room where a raised chair was alongside the flag of the United Kingdom. Louis sat across the table with his lawyer beside him. Craig was at the far end of the table also with his lawyer. Grace guided Harry further down the table away from Louis and Craig. Harry sat down and kept his eyes on the table with the glass top. He kept his hand in his lap under the table, fidgeting with his fingers.

 

Louis looked at him and felt his heart go out to him. Harry looked terrified and about to break into a panic attack. He wanted him to look up from the damn table and look at him. He wanted to see Harry's eyes and reassure him that whatever the outcome of this everything was alright and will be okay. He hated to see him sitting there his back hunched and scared. Louis wanted to get up off his chair and not give a flying fuck about everyone else in the room and go over to Harry and kneel beside his chair and look up into his eyes and just reassure him that everything was good and everything will be alright and that once this was over, he will be happy again. Before Louis could actually go through with his plan, the door beside the raised chair opened and a judge walked in followed by a City Hall security officer. Everyone stood up as the judge took her place on the raised chair at the head of the table. When she was seated, everyone sat back down. She opened a file that was in front of her on the table and looked through it. When she was satisfied with what she had read, she looked up at the people seated before her, finally resting her eyes on Harry.

 

'Mr. Styles, I do believe you are the main character in all of this so I would really like to hear from you about what exactly happened,' she told him, her voice stern. Harry nodded like a puppet, detached from his own body and mind. The City Hall security came to him with a bible and made him take his oath to tell the truth. Harry gulped and swore he would tell nothing but the truth. When he was done, the judge asked him :

 

'So what happened exactly between you and Mr. Tomlinson? Why are we here today?' Harry gulped and fidgeted with his fingers while Louis curled his fingers into fists having to watch Harry in this vulnerable position. The judge huffed in annoyance.

 

'Mr. Styles I don't have all day,' she told him sternly and Louis wanted to wring her neck for snapping at Harry like that. Harry nodded.

 

'No-nothing happened with Mr. Tomlinson your Honor,' Harry said softly, his voice barely carrying in the vast room. The judge huffed again.

 

'Miss Mitchell have you prepared your client for this at all?' she asked her roughly. Grace looked at Harry who was almost a crumpled heap in the chair then looked at the judge.

 

'Yes your Honor he is just overwhelmed......'

 

'Well I don't have time to baby him,' she spat. 'Get him to talk for God's sake.' Grace leaned over and whispered something to Harry and he nodded. Louis watched helplessly. Harry sat up a little straighter in his chair.

 

'Nothing happened with Mr. Tomlinson your Honor,' Harry said a little more loudly. The judge furrowed her eyebrows.

 

'If nothing happened why are we here then wasting the Crown's resources and time?'

 

'It was a misunderstanding.' Harry said. Louis bit his bottom lip hard. He wanted to tell Harry to tell the truth. Craig's lawyer jumped in.

 

'Your Honor, we are here today to request of you to order Mr. Tomlinson sit for a DNA test so it could be matched against my client's DNA sample which was obtained from Mr. Styles.....'

 

'Without his consent might I add your Honor,' Grace interrupted him. The judge looked from Craig's lawyer to Grace.

 

'Without his consent?' she asked, her interest piqued. Grace nodded.

 

'Yes your Honor. My client never at any point did he give Dr. Blake the authorization to take from him a semen sample that was inside of him during Dr.Blake's examination of his injuries.' Craig's lawyer made a disgusted sound.

 

'From my client's preliminary examination of Mr. Styles, he could see that he had been bound from the wrists and ankles by leather cuffs that are six inches wide,' Craig's lawyer said, reading from an open file. 'He also had whips on the backs of his thighs and buttocks some of which were bleeding because the skin had broken where Mr. Styles had been beaten with a belt, three inches wide. Upon internally examining Mr. Styles, my client found severe injuries inside Mr. Styles' anus and anal canal as to his prostate. My client serves as a therapist and consultant to physically abused and raped people besides being a doctor so from his expertise and experiences, he could clearly see that these injuries suggested rape. Mr. Styles had been severely beaten and raped therefore my client took samples just in case Mr. Styles wished to proceed and press charges against the person who had done this to him.'

 

Louis grit his teeth hard as he watched Harry lower his head in shame, his face burning red with humiliation and he wanted to kill Craig for putting him through all this.

 

'So how does Mr. Tomlinson come into this?' the judge asked. Craig's lawyer cleared his throat.

 

'At the time of Mr. Styles' injuries, my client befriended him and offered him help as a doctor and as a therapist seeing he specializes in abuse and rape cases. Mr. Styles confided with my client about his then partner Mr. Tomlinson....'

 

'Did Mr. Styles ever confine in your client that Mr. Tomlinson raped and beat him?' the judge interrupted him.

 

'He hinted at it....'

 

'So your client assumed it was Mr. Tomlinson who beat and raped Mr. Styles just because he hinted at it?' the judge pressed.

 

'My client further confirmed it was Mr. Tomlinson upon visiting Mr. Styles when he resided at Mr. Tomlinson's home and my client could see that Mr. Styles was afraid of Mr. Tomlinson.....'

 

'Yet Mr. Tomlinson had him at his house to be looked after and taken care of and Mr. Styles I believe was living there at the time?' the judge asked Craig's lawyer as she consulted with the notes in her file.

 

'Yes your Honor but....'

 

'So all your client has are assumptions?' the judge cut him off.

 

'Which is why we want you to make Mr. Tomlinson sit for a DNA test. That way we can prove that he did in fact brutally rape and beat Mr. Styles. Such actions should not go unpunished your Honor,' Craig's lawyer said. The judge nodded and turned her attention back on Harry.

 

'Mr. Styles,' she said and Harry's head snapped up to look at her. 'Tell me what happened exactly and please do speak up.' Harry swallowed hard.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson did not rape me or beat me,' Harry said his voice still shaky but this time it was heard around the room. Louis stiffened in his chair.

 

'I would like to remind you that you are under oath Mr. Styles,' the judge informed him.

 

'I know your Honor,' Harry told her.

 

'So if I submit Mr. Tomlinson for a DNA test, will it or will it not match the DNA obtained illegally by Dr. Blake?' the judge asked him emphasizing on the word "illegally" to make her point known. Harry kept his eyes on her.

 

I have to do this. I have to be strong and do this. I have to take care of Louis!

 

'That will not be necessary your Honor because I have proof that Mr. Tomlinson did not rape me or beat me,' Harry said, feeling thankful that his voice did not betray him and crack. There was a low murmur around the room. Walter and Grace exchanged looks because never at any point did Harry mention to Grace that he had any proof of anything. Craig's eyes were wide with expectation and Louis sat rigid in his chair, waiting with baited breath.

 

'Wonderful,' the judge said. 'Show me your evidence then Mr. Styles so we can all go back to our daily routines.' Harry nodded and reached for his bag. Everyone's eyes were on him as he unzipped the bag and turned it upside down on the table, letting the contents fall on to the glass table top with a loud clatter. A gasp was heard all around as the items hit the glass top : leather cuffs six inches wide with chains on them, leather belts, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators.....all the things fell right before the judge on the table. The judge's mouth fell wide open, her eyes large as she stared at the sexual contents on display before her. Louis nearly shrieked out loud as he recognized the leather cuffs from his basement and the belts that he kept on the rack by the bed and the toys that Marc had given him. The judge's eyes were still wide as she fixed Harry with a glare.

 

'Care to explain this Mr. Styles?' she told him waving her hand at the assortment of toys and bondage items before her. Harry nodded.

 

'Yes your Honor. What happened that day was consensual.....'

 

'He's lying,' Craig yelled from across the room, interrupting Harry.

 

'Mr. Billings control your client or I will have him removed from the room,' the judge warned Craig's lawyer. 'Continue Mr. Styles.'

 

'As I was saying, it was consensual. I- I have a fetish your Honor....'

 

'Harry no!' Louis barked loudly. 'Stop it!' He wasn't going to let him do this, disgrace himself this way. The judge rolled her eyes.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson do I have to remove you too?' she asked him.

 

'He's lying your Honor,' Louis insisted. Walter grabbed his arm to silence him but Louis pulled his arm free from his grasp and stood up, placing both his hands flat on the table and leaning forward.

 

'Harry you don't have to do this. Just tell the truth don't worry. Please just tell her the truth,' Louis begged Harry, ignoring everyone else in the room.

 

'Mr. Lynch,' the judge said to Louis' lawyer, 'control your client. Kindly inform him that we are not at Borough Market! Not another sound!' Walter tugged on Louis sleeve until he got him to sit down again.

 

'Please be quiet,' Walter whispered. Louis turned on him.

 

'He's lying Walt!' Louis argued in not a very good whispering voice.

 

'Whenever your client is ready,' the judge said impatiently and Walter got Louis to shut up. The judge turned towards Harry. 'Please Mr. Styles continue.' Harry nodded to himself and tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the judge but his face was flaming red and Louis knew that he was ashamed and that he was doing this to save his ass.

 

'Like I was saying,' he continued, his voice soft, 'I have a bondage fetish and a pain kink. I like being tied up and beaten. I love rough sex, the rougher the better. I love being submissive and....and have things done to me. I-I love pain. I- I find it highly arousing when I'm hurt.' He paused and took in a few deep breaths because this was harder than he thought it would be and his lungs felt deprived of air. Louis could see how he was shaking and this was not okay, it was not okay at all. Louis wanted to go to him and wrap him up in his arms and shield him from all of this, take him away from here but Harry braved on and continued :

 

'When I met Mr. Tomlinson, I was a virgin. I always knew I had this fetish but I had never applied it. I never had a boyfriend or a partner before Mr. Tomlinson. When I became accustomed and comfortable in my relationship with Mr. Tomlinson, I told him of my fetishes and he offered to help me realize them if I so desired and I was very happy with that. I bought these items as you can see here on the table. They are mine. Mr. Tomlinson started out small. He never pushed me into anything. He would tie me up loosely and hit me gently but I wanted more. I wanted him to be more dominant, more aggressive and one day I- I pushed him too far.........'

 

'That is not the truth!!!' Louis yelled standing up once again. 'You Honor he's lying. Please, what he's saying is not the truth, so very far from the truth.'

 

'Its true he's lying,' Craig said. Louis turned on him his face full of rage.

 

'You shut the fuck up you piece of shit!' he yelled at him, his anger soaring. 'You don't fucking know him so you don't get to fucking pass judgement on him!' Craig sneered at him.

 

'I know him well enough to know you manipulate him and use him just like you are doing now. How much did you pay him to lie huh? What did you threaten him with?' Craig accused Louis.

 

'The fuck are you talking about?' Louis screamed at him.

 

'Order!' the judge yelled but nobody seemed to hear her. Harry looked at them both and he felt sick that they were fighting over him and about him. He wanted them to stop, both of them to shut up because he was here in the room and he would not have it.

 

'Stop it!' he yelled, his voice loud and deep that even the judge looked at him with wide surprised eyes. He was so soft spoken where did that deep booming voice come from? Louis and Craig stopped and both looked at him. 'Stop it, 'he said again, his voice a little lower. 'I'm in the room. You can't just talk about me like I'm not here. I am not lying. Stop accusing me of lying. I am telling the judge the truth so let me finish.' Everyone sat back down and the room went silent. The judge looked at Harry impressed that the boy could silence two grown ass men.

 

'Carry on,' she told him.

 

'That day I pushed him too far your Honor. I made him tie me tighter and beat me harder and...and....have rougher sex with me. I wanted, needed more which is why I got my injuries. Mr. Tomlinson was greatly upset that he hurt me but I assured him that I was alright. I just needed to get treatment for the pain. I know Dr. Blake acted out of concern that his profession demanded but my injuries where not from rape even though they looked like they were but they weren't. Yes, if you match Dr. Blake's DNA sample with Mr. Tomlinson's they will match! I am saving the crown's resources hereby confirming that Dr. Blake's DNA is Mr. Tomlinson's DNA because he was the one and only I had sex with that night. If you match the cuffs I have here to the tie marks Dr. Craig found on me and jotted down in his report, they will match too because they are the same cuffs that I asked Mr. Tomlinson to tie me down with. Mr. Tomlinson had no fault in it. Neither one of them had any fault. It was simply my fault because of my needs. I was not raped and beaten without my consent your Honor. I made him do it to me simply to pleasure me and Mr. Tomlinson was kind enough to give me what I needed. That's it.' Louis looked at him and wanted nothing more than to scream in his face and tell him to stop it and to tell the truth and let him get what he deserved for what he had done to him but Harry had politely and quietly fucked them all because his theory made sense and his theory matched his injuries and he had given the judge the proof she needed and Louis had no idea that Harry was this clever. Even Grace sat there looking shocked. Harry had produced evidence that the judge could not over look. His testimony was everything. It was solid!

 

'Right then,' the judge said, 'seeing that Mr. Styles has set the record straight for us, I see no reason why I should submit Mr. Tomlinson for a DNA test since Mr. Styles confirmed for us that in fact the DNA obtained illegally by Dr. Blake matches that of Mr. Tomlinson. All charges against Mr. Tomlinson are dropped. However, I cannot say the same for Dr. Blake. You have taken an illegal sample from your patient without asking their permission or telling them that you have taken a sample from them. You had the sample sent to a lab financed by the crown to test a sample that was not authorized by a judge. You broke the law Dr. Blake and you broke your profession's patient/doctor confidentiality. You have brought a case to me based simply on personal assumptions you made. You will pay a 5,000 pound fine and will have your practicing license withheld for six months. During that period, I want you to have another crash course at being a doctor. You step out of your profession's line one more time and I will have your doctoring license withheld permanently. Case dismissed,' she said with finality as she got up and exited the room, the City Hall security following her.

 

The room was silent as Harry packed up all his things into the bag. Craig got up and stormed out of the room, making Harry jump when he slammed the door behind him a little too forcefully.

 

'Harry,' Louis said softly but Harry kept his head down too ashamed to meet Louis' eyes.

 

'No,' he told him as he continued to stuff the things into his bag.

 

'Harry why did you lie?' Louis asked him, his voice pleading. 'I told you to tell the truth. Why bring this upon you? You should've told her the truth.' Harry kept his head down and when he was done, he stood up and pushed his chair back. Grace and Walter stepped out of the room and Louis was beside him in an instant, reaching out to hold him but Harry took a few steps back away from him.

 

'Harry,' he said again but Harry refused to look at him. He didn't want Louis to see how much this had taken out of him or the tears in his eyes, how he had shamed himself only because he loved Louis so much and didn't want him to go to prison.

 

'Please leave me alone,' Harry begged him in a choked up voice. He wanted to go home and just be alone. His words hurt Louis because Louis knew that Harry had done this to save him.

 

'I'm so sorry and I really don't know if I should say thank you. It doesn't seem right to say thank you because I was ready for punishment Harry. I was ready to take it. I told Grace to tell you to tell the truth why did you do this?' Harry finally raised his head slowly and locked eyes with Louis. Louis could see he was broken and upset and hurt and ready to break into tears.

 

'Because I love you and we do right by the people we love even if it breaks us in the process. It wasn't your fault what you did to me. Somebody broke you and you have been punished enough. I will not punish you too. Be happy Louis but please, leave me alone. That's all I ask of you. Just leave me alone.' Harry pushed by Louis and walked out the room leaving Louis to mull over his words....only a sentence of what Harry had said reverbrated in his mind :

 

Because I love you and we do right by the people we love even if it breaks us in the process.

 

Two things this sentence showed Louis. One, that Harry still loved him and two was that you do anything for the person you love even if it kills you and with that in mind, Louis left the room, planning his next move because of one thing he was sure after all of this : there was no way in hell he was going to leave Harry alone! Ever.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry left City Hall amidst more paps taking his pictures, screaming out his name and asking questions that he wouldn't answer. He hoisted his bag further on to his shoulder, ducked his head down and rushed towards the nearest underground station. He had to get away from them, from all the exposure. He hoped that it would die down but he knew that that was only wishful thinking. This was just the beginning. The media would further hound him and Louis until they got the full story of what had happened inside City Hall.

 

As soon as he got on the tube, he sat down and put in his earbuds and listened to Stevie Nicks. The first song that came on as soon as he pressed play was "Landslide" and when he heard the opening notes, it make his heart squeeze in his chest tightly. This song always made him emotional and the fact that it reminded him of Louis didn't help. He let out a breath and faced the fact that there was no escaping this heartache. He just had to face it, bear it and endure it, hoping that at some point the pain would ease and he would come out of it alive.

 

He got off at Paddington Station and took his time walking to the escalators. By the time he got out onto the street, it was drizzling. He began walking towards his flat not caring that the rain was drenching him slowly. He kept on listening to Stevie Nicks as the song changed from'Landslide" and launched into "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac and when Harry heard the first piano notes, his broken heart lurched in his chest with a deep longing and a deeper love for Louis but all he had was a vast, never ending loneliness ahead of him, a life without his Louis.

 

For you, there'll be no more crying  
For you, the sun will be shining  
And I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right

To you, I'll give the world  
To you, I'll never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds are singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before

And I wish you all the love in the world  
But most of all, I wish it from myself

And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I loveyou, I love you  
Like never before  
Like never before  
Likenever before

 

As he listened to the lyrics, tears rolled down his cheeks and never before had he been thankful for the rain that hid their tracks on his cold pale cheeks.

 

Finally he got to his apartment and all he wanted was to get into dry clothes and have a cup of tea but that was not meant to be. As he opened the door, he found Craig pacing his small living room. At the sound of the door opening, Craig paused and raised his head, looking at a surprised Harry. Harry closed the door and walked in.

 

'What are you doing here?' he asked him as he took off his wet jacket and boots. Craig walked towards him and Harry could tell that he was angry.

 

'Why did you do that?' Craig asked him not bothering to hide the anger in his voice. 'Why did you lie so blatantly?' he yelled. Harry went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. Craig followed him.

 

'I'm talking to you Harry,' he shouted. Harry was numb. No amount of shouting could get to him. His mind had had enough and he wanted to block everything out. 'Why did you lie under oath?' Craig pressed. Harry looked at him, his eyes empty.

 

'Because I was not going to let you use me to send Louis to jail,' he told him calmly.

 

'You lied under oath!' Craig screamed. Harry shrugged as he took down a mug and put a teabag in it.

 

'The things we do for love,' Harry told him softly, sadly.

 

'He hurt you!' Craig roared. 'It's what he deserves. He should be punished for what he did. And you...you took his side and lied for him?' Harry took in the accusations like bullets to his heart but kept his empty green eyes on Craig.

 

'It was my turn to take care of him. Louis and I...nobody can understand what we have...what we had but as much as I know that, he will let nothing and nobody hurt me, I will do the same for him. I will let nothing and nobody hurt him. You made a mistake going after Louis through me. You should have known better than to go up against Louis. I would never let anything happen to him if I can help it. We are a team even though we are broken up and we are no longer together but I got him just as he got me.'

 

'You ruined my career for that rapist!' Craig yelled furiously in Harry's face, his face red but Harry remained calm, a calmness that scared him because he never felt so empty and so numb before.

 

'You ruined your own career when you took an illegal sample from me. You ruined your career when your broke the trust I placed in you as my doctor. You ruined yourself when you decided to go after Louis. I told you many times that he did not rape me but you insisted. You made it personal and look where it got you. Did you think you were going to have me by sending Louis to prison?' Harry chuckled darkly. 'Nobody can have me after Louis. I will always belong to him and he will always belong to me even though we parted ways. We are bound together and nobody can separate us. You were a fool if you thought you could. Now, leave my flat and leave the key before you go.' Harry's voice held no emotions at all. Craig glared at him.

 

'You two deserve each other,' he spat at him. 'You are both manipulators and you both use people to your advantage. You are cruel just like him and I hope that what you have done today will haunt you for the rest of your life.' Craig slammed down his key on the counter and left Harry's flat, slamming the door on the way out. Silence filled the small apartment. Harry sagged against the kitchen counter feeling defeated and he began to cry, choking sobs leaving his lips because no matter what he did in this life, he simply couldn't win.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis left City Hall in a rage. He was angry at himself for allowing Harry to lie but what could he have done in there? He had tried. He had really tried but Harry was stubborn and he had come up with this genius plan all on his own and surprised them all with it. He had made it so real, brought evidence from his own fucking basement! If the judge had ordered for the cuffs to be tested, they would've matched Craig's description of the ties Harry had had around his wrists and ankles! Louis wondered who from his household had helped Harry to get the stuff from his basement and his room! He would fucking fire them for allowing Harry to get his hands on those things and use them against him. It was not right and it shouldn't have happened and they should've known better!

 

Louis rushed with Walter down the steps of City Hall just as the paps and media caught sight of him and they all barreled over flashing their stupid cameras and yelling their questions at him, some of them calling him a rapist. He wanted to hit them all and get them away from him. He pushed roughly through them not caring if he sent any of them sprawling on the ground. They deserved worse than that, the parasites! Finally, he got in his car with Walter beside him and Angus drove away from City Hall.

 

'This is so fucked up,' Louis growled. 'It wasn't supposed to go this way!'

 

'The boy came through for you Louis,' Walter told him, no hint of worry or preoccupation in his voice. Louis turned to glare at him.

 

'Are you fucking kidding me? He lied! He lied under oath and for what? To fucking save me and do this to himself!' Walter shrugged.

 

'He's just a kid Louis. A kid with a fetish! That's all the media will see.' Louis could feel the veins in his head about to pop.

 

'He's a sensitive human being Walter! These things hurt him. What people say about him, he takes it to heart and he mulls over it and wonders about why they said that and he over thinks. I've seen him do that. I've seen people's opinions of him break him. He is a very gentle soul and for him to bring this on himself.....'

 

'Louis, it will blow over. Give it a few days,' Walter reasoned with him.

 

'That might be true but it won't blow over him. Its going to eat him up alive that is why I didn't want him involved in the first place. I tried to shield him from the media and their whiplashes. I tried so hard and when they wrote shit about him before, I had to have my PR deal with it. Now he's alone in this and he asked me to leave him alone.....'

 

'Then do that. Leave him alone Louis. Its over. This whole shananigan is over and you and him are over so just let it all go. Thank your lucky stars that he came through for you, took the blame and you are free from this shit. Let it go and move on.' Louis shook his head.

 

'You're a heartless asshole Walt,' Louis told him. Walter shrugged.

 

'Its what makes me good at my job!'

 

 

x

 

 

Three days later and the situation with the rape case still hadn't calmed down. Louis was still getting calls from the media asking for an exclusive which he shut down right away. He wasn't going to talk to these assholes. The paps still hung around his house, waiting like hungry wolves to take pictures of him and shout rapist at him. He was all over social media as was Harry.

 

This morning was the fourth morning after the case had been dismissed and Louis sat in his office with his lap top open in front of him sipping his coffee. He scrolled through Twitter and the topic of the case was still hot. TMZ was reporting about it left and right. Speculations were being made, accusations thrown and conclusions being drawn but they were wrong! What did they know? They knew nothing about it.

 

He saw pictures of Harry going to University and hounded by the paps. His face was pained and he looked sad as he tried to fight his way through them. The things being said about him were disgusting and the strain of it all showed on Harry's face in all the pictures Louis could see on Twitter.

 

Some where still accusing Louis of raping the boy, that the man had it in him to do such a thing, judging him by his character which he had always shown to the outside world. Louis sat there sipping his coffee, wondering why many people had so little to do with their lives as to sit there and judge everyone else based on their ideas and misconceptions. A knock on the door interrupted Louis.

 

'Come in,' he said a little gruffly. It was only seven in the morning so he could hardly be pleasant! The door opened slowly and Leonard put his head in.

 

'Do you have a moment Sir?' he asked him timidly. Leonard had been subjected to Louis' anger this past week after having admitted to his boss that he had helped Harry get his hands of the items for the case. Louis had been so mad at him and threatened him with so many things, one of which was firing him but Louis had never done it. So far at least and Leonard hoped right now that what he was about to tell him wouldn't be the cause of him being fired now.

 

'What is it Leonard?' Louis asked him as he continued to scroll and stopped on a picture showing a very tired and haggard Harry leaving University with cameras shoved in his face. Leonard walked in and closed the door behind him, then stood in front of Louis' desk.

 

'Sir I think you should see the newspaper,' Leonard told him softly as he handed him a stack of newspapers that were always delivered to his house every morning. 'The Sun especially.' Louis huffed and rolled his eyes as he reached for the newspapers. Nothing good ever came out of The Sun and he wasn't expecting anything less. He reached out and snatched the papers from Leonard's hands. He opened The Sun and froze as he stared at the headlines screaming out at him : Exclusive Interview With Harry Styles. Putting The Record Straight.

 

Louis' hands began to shake as he opened the paper to the center pages where he found a detailed spread including recent pictures of Harry as he sat down with Dan Wootan for the exclusive. The pictures where in black and white and the strain on Harry's face of the last few days was evident. His cheeks were hollow and his eyes empty of the sparkle Louis had become so accustomed to to, dark rings circling those dull eyes. Harry looked like as if he had had his soul sucked out of him.

 

Louis began to read the article and he felt sick to the stomach. Harry had sat down with this son of a bitch and told him everything he had said in that City Hall room four days prior. He had removed all blame off Louis and projected himself to the media as the boy with the pain kink, the fetish of being tied up and roughly fucked. And Dan Wootan had taken the opportunity to milk him for details which Harry gave without reserve. In this article, Harry made it clear to the world, that Louis had not raped him and that Louis was not a rapist and that the accusations came from a doctor who had mistaken his diagnosis for rape and Harry continued to say that he couldn't blame the doctor either as he was only doing his job.

 

Louis slammed down the newspaper on his desk. 'Fuck!' he yelled. 'Fuck this shit! Harry what the fuck have you done?' Harry had put himself yet out there again to save his ass from further rumors and to stop the rape conspiracies. He had even put in a good word for that piece of shit doctor that had started all this in the first place! Harry made it clear in the interview that Louis was not a rapist but he had solely acted on his demands which had ended him up in the ER. Louis called his PR team asking if there was anything they could do to deflect the article away from Harry but he was informed that it was Harry that had contacted Dan Wootan and asked him to let him give the interview so this time it wasn't Dan's fault. It was all Harry. Dan had been handed the exclusive and being the leech he was, he had taken it and milked it for what it was. There was nothing they could do. Louis hung up and sat back in his chair. He realized that at some point, Leonard had left the room.

 

'You stupid fool,' he spoke into the empty room. 'Why would you go to that parasite and give him the interview?'

 

Because he knew that through Dan Wootan and The Sun, he could get his voice across to the world and dismantle you of any blame or further rumors. He lay himself bare for you so you could be safe.

 

'I didn't want that! I didn't want him to fucking lie and make this up. I was ready to pay for what I did!' Louis yelled into his empty study.

 

You know well enough that he loves you too much to let you go to jail or for the term rapist to be stuck to your name. He wasn't going to let you go down in the sex offenders register either.

 

'So do this to himself? Shame himself like this? Humiliate himself? Make himself to be this sex addict who likes rough sex and to be tied up and beaten?' Louis growled at his subconscious.

 

Love knows no limits. We do things for the people we love when we truly love them. You had the chance to do so much for him but you chose not to because you are selfish, because you are scared. He stood up for you but you didn't stand up for him. He only begged you to let him in, to let him help you and you being the coward that you are preferred to break him rather than to let him in. 

 

Louis rested his forehead against his desk as he realized the impact of the love Harry had for him. Harry would do anything for him and he had done nothing for him in return. Louis raised his head off the desk and for the first time in his life, he knew what he had to do, what he wanted to do. He dialed Anthony and told him that he would be in to see him in an hour.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis sat on Anthony's couch, sipping his coffee and waiting for Anthony to say something after Louis had told him all that had happened with the hearing at City Hall, about what Harry had done and how after he had told Louis to please leave him alone and how he had gone to Dan Wootan and gave him the exclusive story of all that had happened inside City Hall...Harry Styles version. Anthony sat in his chair and sipped his tea, occasionally humming to himself as if having a private internal discussion. Louis was becoming impatient and was about to disturb Anthony from his inner monologue when Anthony looked at him and put his cup down on the table.

 

'He is an incredible being I have to admit and I find myself having a deep respect for Harry,' he told him slowly, his words perfectly articulated. 'The love he has for you is something that's very rare these days. People tend to give up on people at the first sign of trouble but Harry stayed and he would've stayed on if you didn't let him go. I am not saying this to make you feel bad Louis, I am just pointing out the fact that Harry would've stayed through everything because his love for you is genuine and pure, the sort of love that transcends everything. He just sees you Louis. He accepted the fact that what you did to him stems from something that happened to you that is why he doesn't want you punished for it. He sees no point in you being punished for it when you are already being punished enough. He has proven himself to you many times over the course of the past ten months and shown you that you can trust him. He can be the keeper of your pain Louis, of your heart and you will be safe with him. It is and will always be up to you.'

 

Louis swallowed hard. He was seeing things from a different perspective now. He felt as if things had changed within him after what had happened at City Hall and everything had become crystal clear.. It had been an eyeopener, a soul finder after having searched for ages....somehow it felt like coming home. And suddenly Louis felt alive and he felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest, his breathing becoming erratic. He felt everything fall into place and click and why had he been so stupid? Why had he been so fucking blind and not seen it before? And he knew what needed to be done and he raised his eyes and met Anthony's and Anthony smiled at him softly because Anthony had known that this moment would happen but Louis needed to come to it at his own pace and time. And Louis opened his mouth to say something, anything but closed it again as a feeling of peace and happiness gurgled inside of him and he was afraid that if he opened his mouth, it would all come out and he didn't want to lose it. He was afraid of opening his mouth and losing the feeling of euphoria inside of him, growing and swelling. Louis swallowed.

 

'I-I love him. I can't live my life without him. I want him in my future Anthony. He IS my fucking future,' Louis whispered in an elated voice. Anthony nodded in agreement.

 

'And?' Anthony asked him because Anthony knew. Anthony knew where this was going and he had been waiting for Louis to arrive at it and here he was. At the threshold of changing his life. Louis searched for his words, still coming to terms with his sudden epiphany he was having.

 

'I-I-m ready Anthony. I'm ready to let him in and give up this life I've had for a new one with Harry. I-I think I'm ready to break my chains,' Louis told him in awe of himself, not believing the words he was uttering.

 

'You know what you have to do?' Anthony asked him and Louis nodded.

 

'I do. Time to tell Harry everything and let the past go so I can embrace a future with him,' Louis told him his voice sure and certain of the words he was saying. Anthony smiled at him.

 

'Yes it is Louis. Its time to go and get your boy back, let him free you from your past and start planning your future.' Louis stood up feeling light and happy. He would go to Harry right away. He would stop both of their sufferings and make everything alright. Anthony stood up too and this time, Louis did not shake his hand but hugged him tightly, taking Anthony completely by surprise because Louis, as far as Anthony was concerned, was not a hugger.

 

'Thank you,' Louis told him. 'Thank you for bringing me to this moment because if it wasn't for you, I would have never safely arrived here.' Anthony hugged him then pulled back.

 

'Go live the life you deserve Louis and be happy. Its been a long time coming but it's here and here you are and its yours, so go, be free and be happy. Go get Harry.'

 

Louis left Anthony's office feeling light and happy. He was going to do this. It felt right and it felt okay and it felt perfect and he knew that he had a really hard thing to do but it was worth it for Harry. He was going to heal Harry because Harry had done so many hard things for him so he was going to do this because Harry deserved the truth. He pulled out his phone and tapped Harry's number. The phone rang and rang then went to voice mail. Louis knew that Harry had told him to leave him alone so it was no surprise that he was not taking his calls. Which was alright. Louis could understand that. He had to break through to Harry slowly and bring him back. They would do this together and heal each other.

 

Angus was waiting outside for him and Louis told him to take him to Edgware Road. He felt frantic now. He felt happy and he couldn't wait to do this. It was time to do this. Once he got to Edgware Road, he jumped out of the car and pressed the buzzer to Harry's door.

 

'Hi Harry its me. Can I come up?' Louis said into the intercom. Silence. He waited a beat then tried again.

 

'Harry, I know you told me to leave you alone. Please just give me a chance to make this right. I know I can if you just let me.' Silence. Louis pressed the buzzer again.

 

'Baby please just one more chance. I know you gave me so many chances and I fucked up every time but I swear its different this time. I- I'm here to give you all that you asked me for. I'm ready Harry. Please let me do this,' Louis begged but again he was received with nothing but silence. He sighed heavily. It was alright. He had to give him time. He needed to give Harry time and space. Just because he was ready, didn't mean that Harry was. He pressed the buzzer again.

 

'I'll go now but please call me? I really need to talk to you urgently.' Louis paused and took in a deep breath. 'I love you Harry. I never stopped loving you.' Louis exhaled and waited a little maybe those words would make Harry speak to him but there was only silence. He got into the car and let Angus take him to the office.

 

 

X

 

 

Over the course of the next five days, Louis had called Harry a million time and had visited his flat with the hope that Harry would eventually talk to him through the intercom but it has just been silence. Today Louis was determined to talk to Harry at all costs. It had been nine days since the case had been dismissed and five days since Louis had had his epiphany and he was on edge because he wanted to talk to Harry badly. That morning, he had told Angus to drive him to the University. If he had to stalk Harry and wait for him to arrive then surprise him with his presence then that was what he was going to do. Louis knew Harry's schedule. He knew that his lectures started at ten. He knew that Harry usually arrived at campus by nine thirty, got a hot drink from Starbucks across campus then headed to his first lecture so Louis made Angus park in a spot where he could see both Starbucks and the entrance to the University. He waited impatiently, checking his watch every few seconds.

 

'There's still time,' he kept reassuring himself as the hour neared ten. He held hope in his heart that Harry would arrive at any minute. Maybe he had over slept. Maybe he had missed the train. When he checked his watch again it was way after ten and Louis felt sick from anxiety. Where was he? Maybe he had missed him going in or maybe Harry had spotted his car and taken another entrance.

 

Then on impulse, Louis decided that he would go and ask the Dean if he could spare Harry for the day. He got out of the car before he had any time to change his mind and realize how foolish this was but he wasn't in a position to care. He needed to talk to Harry, to make things right and he was going to do it. No more excuses. No more escaping.

 

He walked into the administrative building and asked the secretary if he could speak with the Dean and of course the secretary was surprised to see him there but she called in the Dean right away and informed Mr. Tomlinson that he could go right in. Louis walked in and shook the Dean's hand then sat down in a chair opposite the desk and told the Dean that he needed to see Harry on an urgent matter. The scowl on the Dean's face confused Louis and what the Dean said after, shocked Louis to his core.

 

The Dean had informed Louis that Harry had dropped out of the course seven days ago. The Dean told him that it had come as a huge surprise because Harry had been doing really good in all his subjects but he had received an email from Harry, informing him that he would no longer be attending the University. Louis had sat there shocked into silence unable to believe what he was hearing. Where the fuck was Harry?

 

He thanked the Dean and left the building feeling confused, anxious and worries. As soon as he stepped outside, he pulled out his phone and it was time to call Niall. They hadn't talked or seen each other since Niall had come into the office and had quit working for Louis but Louis didn't give a shit about the fact that Niall was still pissed off at him and hadn't spoken to him since. He needed to know where the fuck Harry was and Niall would know because Niall was Harry's best friend. He tapped his number and waited, listening impatiently to the phone ring and wondering if Niall was going to pick up his call or be a dick about it and ignore him. Finally, he picked up.

 

'What do you want?' Niall said by way of reply.

 

'Where the fuck is Harry?' Louis asked him straight away seeing they were surpassing any pleasantries.

 

'I don't know. At home? At Uni? How should I know? He hasn't spoken to any of us for awhile now.' Louis was yet again shocked for the second time that day.Harry had fallen out with his friends? When had this happened?

 

'You were not on speaking terms with him? Why?' Louis demanded. He heard Niall sigh.

 

'Because we accused you of raping him,' he told him flat out, his voice lower and softer. 'He took your defense and now, well now we know the whole story since its all out publicly. We just never imagined that Harry was...was into that stuff. But anyway, we tried calling him to apologize but he's not taking our calls.' Louis felt fear course through his body like icy fingers.

 

'Did you know that he dropped out of Uni?' Louis asked him.

 

'What?' Niall screamed into the phone. 'No we did not know that. When?'

 

'Seven days ago. Niall where the fuck is he?' Louis pressed.

 

'I-I don't know. At the flat?' Niall suggested.

 

'I have been there several times this past week but he hasn't opened the door,' Louis told him.

 

'Oh God,' Niall groaned. 'Oh God where is he? I hope he's okay. How the fuck did we not see this? God I hope he's alright. I'm going over to the flat right now.'

 

'Wait for me. I'm coming to pick you up. You shouldn't go alone,' Louis suggested and he heard Niall whimper.

 

'You...you don't think he'd do something stupid like hurt himself right?' Niall asked him softly, fear in his voice and Louis swallowed thickly and prayed to God above that Harry was alright because Niall had just voiced out his own worst fear.

 

'I don't think so no,' Louis told him because he needed to reassure Niall and also to reassure himself despite the fear that was clawing deep inside of him that Harry was alright and he was just avoiding them. Louis hung up, got in the car and told Angus to pick Niall up and as he sat in the back seat of his car, frozen and paralyzed with fear, he let a small prayer escape his lips:

 

'Please please God, let him be alright. Let him be alive. Please let my baby be safe.'

 

 

x

 

Niall was waiting for him outside the flat he shared with Shawn. As soon as the car stopped, he hopped in next to Louis and Louis could see instantly that Niall was pale and worried. Niall looked at Louis, his eyes watering.

 

'He's alright!' Louis told him trying to reassure himself more that anything. 'He has to be alright. He just has to.' Niall shook his head.

 

'He's been through so much. He...all this with the case...and us being shitty friends...we ganged up on him and accused you of....' Louis reached over and grabbed Niall's hand.

 

'It's water under the bridge Niall. I'm sorry for all that I said to you about not truly wanting you guys. I had to say that,' Louis paused and tried to swallow round the lump in his throat.

 

'Had to?' Niall asked him.

 

'I had to,' Louis confirmed. 'But please don't push me to say more. Let's leave it at that and concentrate on Harry. He has to be alright because I want to make things right with him.' Niall nodded and they went silent both of them hoping and hoping that Harry was alright. As soon as Angus stopped in front of Harry's flat, they both jumped out of the car. Niall pulled out his set of spare keys and opened the flat door. They took the stairs two at a time to the first floor where Harry's flat was. Niall's heart sank when he saw a bunch of newspapers and junk mail on the welcome home mat in front of the door. He bent down and picked them up and looked at the dates.

 

'Oh God,' he groaned.

 

'What?' Louis asked him, his voice frantic.

 

'These newspapers are from a week ago,' he told him his voice shaking. 'Oh God Harry.' He let them fall to the floor as he fumbled to get the key in the lock because his hands where shaking badly. Finally he opened the door and both Louis and Niall braced themselves because they did not know what to expect once they walked into the flat. Niall pushed the door open and he stepped inside, followed by Louis.

 

'Harry,' Niall called out. 'Harry are you here?' He flipped on the light. The kitchen and living room where empty. His laptop and phone where on the kitchen counter. Everywhere was neat and tidy.

 

'Harry,' Louis called as he walked towards Harry's little bedroom. The door was closed and Louis felt as if he was going to have a heart attack and die on the spot because he was afraid to push the door open. He was terrified but he had to so ever so gently he pushed the door open and the room was empty save for boxes piled up neatly on top of each other. Louis exhaled loudly and walked inside and Niall followed him. Harry's closet was empty. His drawers were empty. The room was bare of anything personal. Only the furniture remained, the stripped bed and the boxes that Louis had sent him with his clothes and items he had left at Louis' house. They were still taped shut.

 

They both walked out into the living room and everything that belonged to Harry was gone : his vinyls, his books, his candles, his DVD box sets....all that remained was the furniture.

 

'Where the hell is he?' Louis asked into the empty flat. A noise from the door made them both turn around and they saw a man standing in the doorway. Niall walked towards him.

 

'He's the landlord,' he told Louis. 'Mr. Gibbs where is Harry?' Niall asked him.

 

'I don't know. He left a week ago. In fact I was going to call you so you could come and get the rest of his stuff. Rent is paid till the end of this week so there's only a day left for you to clear his belongings out.'

 

'Didn't he leave a forwarding address where we can send his stuff?' Louis asked him, his voice strained and distraught but full of hope. Mr. Gibbs shrugged.

 

'No. Nothing. He just left. He was in a pretty bad state and was in a hurry to get out of here. The paps never left that poor boy alone. They were driving him crazy. Just take care of his stuff. I have people coming over to see the flat this weekend.' The landlord turned to leave but then turned back to Niall and told him:

 

'Here, he told me to give you this,' Mr. Gibbs told him as he handed him an envelope. Niall snatched it from him with shaking hands and tore it open. He pulled out a single sheet of paper and opened it. It was a note from Harry, in his neat cursive handwriting.

 

'Read it out loud,' Louis told him. Niall cleared his throat to try and dislodge the lump that was chocking him.

 

"Dear Niall,

by the time you get this letter I will be gone. I am sorry I got angry with you guys but you were wrong about Louis. He is a very gentle and misunderstood soul and by now I hope that you know the truth. I really didn't mean to fall out with you and Liam and Zayn. I missed you guys so very much and wished that you were with me these past few days but that's water under the bridge now. Please return the laptop, phone and boxes in my room to Louis. It is not right for me to keep those items as they no longer belong to me. Niall, I am sorry for everything but I couldn't bare all this any longer. It got too much. I hope you understand. Please tell Louis not to worry and to be happy. He deserves it so much. Tell Liam and Zayn I love them and I hope you know I love you too.

All the love

H"

 

 

They both stood there befuddled and in silence until Niall began to cry as the letter fell from his hands and landed softly on the floor.

 

'Where is he?' he screamed through his tears. 'Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck did he go? What the fuck did he do?' Fat tears rolled out of his eyes onto his cheeks and dripped down his chin, tears of frustration and fear and desperation. 'We were meant to be there for him. We are his fucking friends but we left him all by himself through all this shit and now he's fucking gone and we don't know where or if he's even alive! How the fuck does that make us his friends? We are shit! We left him on his own and he wasn't strong enough to do this on his own. We fucking failed him!' Niall choked on his sobs as he allowed himself to cry freely. Louis was close to tears himself because Harry was missing and they had no idea where he had gone or if he even was.....No! He wouldn't think it. He wouldn't even entertain the idea because Harry would never hurt himself. Harry was smart and strong and he was his baby and he would never hurt himself. Louis placed his hand on Niall's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

 

'We all failed him. We all left him alone but I will find him Niall. I promise you, I will find him. Give me a few days and I will find him and bring him back to us. I swear to you. If its the last fucking thing I do, I will find him and bring him back home.'

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK HARRY DID? WHERE DID HE GO? NEXT CHAPTER COMING UP SOON..............


	23. Roots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Once again I do have to say a big thank you to everyone for supporting my fic by reading it and a bigger thank you to those who leave me comments. I love to interact with you guys so thank you. I do hope you like this chapter but I am going to put up a fore warning for the chapter after this. LOUIS WILL TELL HIS LIFE STORY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY CHILD ABUSE/RAPE/BEATINGS/PROSTITUTION DO NOT READ IT. I have to say this a good couple of times because people read it, get triggered then take it out on me. I AM PUTTING UP WARNINGS! READ THE WARNINGS. THE REST IS UP TO YOU.   
> Anyway....I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> All the love M.

Roots.

 

(Throwback to the week leading up to Harry's disappearance)

 

Harry couldn't take anymore of the paps hanging outside his building. It had been a week since the case had been dismissed yet they hung around his flat, blocking the sidewalk and waiting for him to emerge so that they could take their stupid photos and ask absurd questions about him and Louis. Both he and Louis were still the talk on social media, with some new hashtag trending on Twitter regarding the case every day or something related to his fetishes or to the interview he gave to The Sun or some such other trend regarding the accusations and speculations that were being made up by anyone who could voice their opinions. TMZ kept investigating and trying to get scoops into his life and Louis'. It was draining Harry to the marrow.

 

Harry looked outside his window and was glad that there were no paps for the time being. Well it was still early which these days he made it a point to go out early to get his food and necessities from the Off-license next door then quickly back into the flat before they hounded him. He had even stopped going to University since they followed him there making matters far worse for Harry, igniting gossip between students and faculty members.

 

He quickly put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket. He needed milk for his tea and some eggs and bread for breakfast. He couldn't function without his tea. The clock on the kitchen wall read six fifteen am. Philip would be open by this time. He picked up the keys and rushed down stairs to make it to the shop and back in time before the paps showed up but as soon as he stepped outside, he froze on the sidewalk as he stared at his front door horrified by the fresh paint sprayed on his door. Words sprayed in white, standing out against his black door and Harry felt his heart ache in his chest and he cried silently as the words screamed out at him : "faggot", "slut" and "whore". He stood there shaking, the tears rolling silently out of his eyes on to his cold cheeks, those words hitting him harder than Louis' belt had hit him that night he had dragged him into the basement.

 

He shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts and self hating words that assaulted his mind and he dashed back up the stairs and into his flat, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He ducked under the kitchen sink and searched for any kind of solvent. At the back of the cabinet he spotted a bottle of acetone that Zayn had left there months ago. He grabbed it and a dishcloth and dashed back downstairs again. He had to clean up that mess before people started to wake up and see them there. He poured acetone on the cloth and began rubbing furiously at the paint, his fingers burning but he didn't care. He had to remove them before the paps got here and took pictures and put them on social media. As he rubbed at the words, he knew that they would be stuck forever in his mind, burned into his memory. He rubbed and scrubbed not wanting the world to see those words especially Louis. He could not see this, or know about this. Ever.

 

As he worked at removing those horrible words with tears in his eyes, Harry made up his mind that London was no longer the home he had once set out to make here. He had been happy here before...before all of this....before Louis. He had had big dreams and hopes for a good future but then....everything changed and Harry knew that his time here was up. He couldn't stay here. It hurt too much. He had had enough pain and he needed to focus on himself, rebuild himself and mend all his broken pieces. He was too shattered to stay here. Harry had never known emotional pain of this level or a badly broken heart such as this. The only pain he had ever felt was when his mother had passed away and his father had kicked him out. That was the level of pain he had endured in his twenty years of life, but this kind of pain was on a whole new different level and Harry had enough. He didn't want to be the broken person that he was any more. He wanted, needed to heal and fix himself and to do that, he had to get away from here.

 

Once he had cleaned the mess on his door and was satisfied that no traces of those horrid words lingered, his determination to leave London was resolute. He rushed upstairs to his flat, the milk all but forgotten and he washed his hands under the running hot water because they burned from the acetone and he had paint on them. When he was done, he went into the kitchen and booted up his laptop. He composed an email to the Dean at the University, apologizing profusely for dropping out of his second year on such short notice. Harry knew that the Dean and everyone at University had heard and read about the case which had stopped Harry from going to lectures for the entire past week. He couldn't handle the stares and gossip and judgment. He offered no explanation for his dropping out just that he would no longer be attending the University. The Dean would know. He finished the email and hit send. With that done, he went into the laundry room and pulled out a few folded boxes that he always kept there for emergencies.

 

Packing his life into a few boxes didn't take him too long. He didn't have much by way of material things. He packed his vinyls and books and DVD's, taped the boxes shut and wrote in a black marker to be handled with care. Then we went into his room and pulled out the few clothes he had, stuffing them hurriedly into the a bigger box. He had to leave. Now. Today.

 

Soon he was done and he had a total of six boxes neatly stacked in the living room. He looked at the clock on the kitchen wall and it was just a little after nine am. He called a removal company that would take care to deliver his boxes at the address he gave them. Once that was taken care of, he cleaned the apartment and took out the bags of trash. He rushed and hurried as much as he could because he wanted to be on his way as soon as possible now that his mind was made up.

 

By three pm, he was all done. He had showered and got dressed and hoisting his travel bag over his shoulder, he stood in the middle of the now empty apartment that had been his home for a little over a year. He looked around and felt a stab of pain and loneliness in his heart that he was leaving the flat, the place he had come to full of dreams and hopes for a bright future. He had promised his mother he would make something of himself and he had promised her on her death bed that he would make her proud of him, instead he stood there feeling like a failure because he had failed. He had failed at everything in life and he was now giving up.

 

He shook his head not wanting to wallow in self pity and he moved to the door. He didn't want to stay here and go to pieces reliving memories of all the lovely times he had had in this flat and of his burnt out dreams. He was melanchonic enough already. He exited the flat and closed the door behind him locking it. He descended the stairs and stopped at the landlord's door and knocked softly. Mr. Gibbs opened and peeked out, smiling happily when he saw Harry at his door.

 

'Harry lad,' Mr.Gibbs greeted him. 'How are you? I just brewed a pot of tea care to join me?' Harry smiled at the older man. Ever since Harry had lived here, he and Mr. Gibbs had become somewhat friends. Mr. Gibbs was an elderly gentleman and he was alone. He had no family and Harry had become close to him, feeling as if Mr .Gibbs was the paternal figure he so much lacked in his life. Harry had made it a point to spare time to spend evenings with the older gentleman, having tea and chatting. Harry knew Mr. Gibbs needed company and Harry had found peace in spending time with him.

 

'I'm sorry Andrew but not today. I just came to tell you that I am leaving.' He hated the way the gentle smile dropped off the older man's face. Harry hated himself for making him sad.

 

'Leaving?' he asked him softly, his voice sad and Harry nodded because he couldn't speak. His throat felt tight. Mr. Gibbs looked up at him. 'Is it because of the news Harry?' he asked him kindly and without judgement. Harry looked down in shame, his face burning. Mr. Gibbs reached out a wrinkled hand and placed it over Harry's shaking one. He squeezed it gently.

 

'The world is a cruel place Harry and you are a kind being in a nest full of vultures. Don't let the world change you. Fight if you have to. Struggle if you must but never let it make you into a bitter hateful person. Your heart is gold and your soul is pure. Stay that way come what may and if you feel lost, that's alright son. Find yourself but stay true to you.' Harry felt the tears slip out of his eyes and roll down his cheeks. Mr. Gibbs gave him a sympathetic look that hurt Harry's chest. He squeezed his hand again.

 

'Go son. Clearly this place is paining you and you didn't deserve any of that. I believe in you but go. Go and find your peace. Make peace with yourself because that's what really matters in this world and if you ever come to London, just know that you can call on me and you will always have a place to stay.' Harry nodded and handed him the keys and a letter.

 

'Please give this to Niall. The flat is paid for for the rest of the week so if you can be kind enough as to call Niall on Friday so he can return certain items I left in there to their owner I would be grateful to you. And thank you for everything Andrew. I will miss you.' Mr. Gibbs smiled at him.

 

'I will do what you ask Harry. Be happy son. Chase the sun and keep your face turned up to it.' With a nod and more tears falling from his eyes, Harry left the building. The afternoon was cold and dark, not helping his dismal mood. He hurried down Praed Road towards Paddington Station. The pedestrians where suffocating him, the traffic too loud in his head. Things that once he enjoyed about the beautiful city, where now just driving him insane, making him feel anxious and claustrophobic. He ran down the stairs into the station and waited impatiently on the platform for the tube, breathing hard. When it finally arrived, he hopped on for his next destination : Victoria Station.

 

The journey to Victoria Station was a short one and soon Harry was standing in the massive station looking for the ticket booth. He had been here a year earlier when he had first arrived in the city from Manchester, Niall, Liam and Zayn waiting for him with open arms and big smiles, welcoming him to London and to his future. It seemed like years ago that he had first set foot in London, bright eyed and excited for life. Now, he felt as if he had aged decades as he looked around the busy station for the ticket booth. He hated this station. It was too busy, too loud, too crowded, too noisy. All trains from all over England heading to London stopped here. It was chaos. People rushed by past him, shoving into him making him stumble as he stood there like a statue feeling lost. Finally, he located the ticket booth and wrestled his way through the swarm of people and waited at the queue. Eventually it was his turn at the window and a kindly gentleman smiled at him.

 

'Good afternoon Sir, how may I help you?' the man asked Harry.

 

'One way ticket to Manchester please,' Harry told him as he handed the man his card. The man took it and proceeded with Harry's request. He turned back to him and handed him his ticket.

 

'Here you go Sir,' he told him with a bright smile. 'One way ticket to Manchester. Train leaves in thirty minutes at exactly 15:56 pm from Platform six. The journey takes two hours thirty minutes with one change at Euston Station. Thank you Sir have a pleasant journey.' Harry thanked the man and went off to look for Platform six. There was still twenty minutes to kill so Harry got himself a coffee from Costa and sat on a bench waiting for the train, watching the world go by him while he was lost inside his own mind. He tried not to think of Louis and all that had happened or think about his friends that he hadn't talked to in awhile, tried not to think of the newspaper articles and the things they had printed about him. He kept his head low hoping that nobody would recognize him because that would surely break him further than he was already was. He couldn't take further humiliation.

 

Finally his destination was announced on the speakers and Harry got up, hoisted his bag on his shoulder, threw his empty coffee cup in the recycling bin and boarded the train. It was a half an hour trip to Euston then two hours to Manchester. He wasn't looking forward to going back home but what choice did he have? He had no one and nowhere to go. He boarded the train and sat heavily in a seat by the window. He put his earbuds in and played his music, not wanting anyone to disturb him.

 

The train set off and before Harry could get comfortable, it was pulling into Euston train station. Harry got off and went in search of his platform for the train bound to Manchester. He didn't have to look long as it was being announced on the speakers that the next train headed for Manchester was now boarding at Platform three bound for Manchester in ten minutes. Harry hurried his pace and soon he was boarding his train. He found a quiet compartment and sat down, getting comfortable for the two hour journey.

 

By the time the train pulled out of the station it was dark outside and raining heavily. As it picked up speed, Harry rested his head against the window, saying goodbye to London, his friends, Louis and all his hopes and dreams as he launched into an uncertain future. He didn't know what to expect. Well, he kinda did. His dad would probably throw a shit load of verbal abuse at him at what a failure he was and how he had been right when he had told Harry that he would never amount to anything and that he was too small for such a big city. The degrading name calling would start again. The loathsome looks his father always gave him. Harry was not ready for any of this. He would only beg him to stay for one night then in the morning he would be off in search of somewhere to live even if he had to stay at the Youth hostel for a while until he got settled. He would get a job, a decent job and make it. He had some money from what he made from taking the pictures for Marc and his modeling show but he had to save that money in case things got hard and he needed to have money for rainy days. Harry sighed and prepared himself to brace his new life though he really didn't want to but what other option did he have? He had none.

 

He let his heavy eyes close as the train rumbled on. The movement of the train and the endless sleepless nights, soon lulled Harry into restless sleep. It had become hard for him to sleep and he wanted to sleep badly because when he slept he forgot. When he slept all pain and memories and remorse left him.

 

The announcement of their arrival in Manchester woke Harry up. He stretched and yawned. He looked at his watch and it was just past seven pm. He had another train to catch to Holmes Chapel which took another forty five minutes. Harry felt bone tired. All he wanted was a long sleep but he knew he wasn't going to get that. He had yet to deal with his dad. Harry wished his mother was still alive at least if she was, he knew that when he got home he would get hugs and kisses and the comforting arms of his mother around him, her sweet reassuring words and mugs of hot chocolate and God knew how much Harry needed that...how much he needed her. But the reality he was walking into was worse than the one he had left behind. Still, beggars can't be choosers and at the moment he was nothing but a beggar who had no choice at all.

 

The train stopped at Piccadilly station and Harry got off, squinting his tired eyes looking for the information boards. He soon found it and looked for his train : Holmes Chapel Platform 1, 7:20 pm Boarding. Harry hurried over to platform one and made it just in time. He got the ticket once he was seated and the train set off as did Harry's heart because now he was nearing home and he was afraid. He had always been somewhat intimidated by his father and he couldn't imagine what he would say when he saw him on his doorstep. He decided to not think about it too much and let the chips fall where they may. If he didn't let him in the house tonight, he would go to the shelter and stay there for just one night and tomorrow was a brand new day and Harry would start patching up his life but for the time being, he was too tired to think.

 

Eventually, he got to the end of his journey and got off at the station at Holmes Chapel and the familiarity of home hit him instantly the minute he walked out of the station. He looked around and felt at home. It was colder here than in London. Up North it was always colder and it was the beginning of December so no wonder it was icy cold. Harry cursed himself for not putting on a thicker jacket. A man asked him if he wanted a taxi but Harry declined, opting instead to walk home. He needed some fresh air and to clear his head before he met his dad again. All the shops where closed in the High Street except the pub and the chemist who still stayed open a little later than the usual shops. Harry tucked his hands into his jacket pockets and walked the familiar roads towards his dad's house.

 

It was a short walk and soon he was on his street. Nothing had changed. Same detached two storey houses with neat lawns in the front gardens closed off with neatly trimmed bushes, cars parked in the driveways, lights above the doors, quiet rich neighborhood for the elite. His father was a businessman. He had bought a lovely house for his mother and Harry had grown up never wanting for anything, until he came out as gay and his mother had passed away. Then he had been thrown out on the streets like an unwanted dog without a penny to his name. Coming back here was a bad idea but he had no choice.

 

He dragged his feet towards number fifty two. The lights were on inside. Harry took in a deep breath, steadying himself to face his father and his wrath and rang the doorbell. He heard footsteps approaching the door and he held his breath, bracing himself. The door opened and he found himself facing Mrs. Gillian from number 54? Harry furrowed his brows in confusion and looked again at the number next to the door to make sure that he had indeed rang the bell to number fifty two but he had. Mrs. Gillian was their neighbor. She used to babysit Harry. She had been his mother's best friend. She had been widowed a year and a half before his mother had passed. What was she doing here in his father's house?

 

'Harry!' she exclaimed. 'Oh dear Lord Harry! Is that you?' she said as she pulled him into a hug and Harry stood there motionless because why was Mrs.Gillian at his father's house? Harry pulled back from the hug and looked at her in disbelief and probably the evident shock on his face because Mrs. Gillian stepped aside and waved Harry inside.

 

'Come in Harry, its quite nippy out. We are expecting snow,' she told him conversationally, ushering him inside as if all this was normal as if Harry hadn't been away for over a year and she wasn't in his father's house, the home that had been his mother's. But Harry was too numb and confused and cold to ask anything so he let her lead him inside the familiar house that he had grown up in. Instinctively, he took off his shoes in the hallway just as his mother had taught him to. He was never allowed to go inside the house with his shoes on unless he came in the back door through the kitchen.

 

Mrs. Gillian ushered him into the kitchen as he padded after her in his mismatched wet socks. The kitchen was warm and cozy and it reminded Harry so much of his mother. She loved the kitchen. She loved to cook and make cakes and here was Mrs. Gillian in a pair of fluffy slippers and an apron, in his mother's kitchen. What the fuck was going on? What had Harry come back to?

 

'Tea love?' she asked him kindly as she set about making tea without waiting for him to reply if he wanted any or not. Had his father remarried? Was he living with Mrs. Gillian? Harry blinked, his mind whirling with thoughts.

 

'Where is my dad?' he asked her, his voice hoarse from misuse. He coughed trying to clear it but it was too dry and his throat hurt and his head throbbed. Mrs. Gillian came back to the kitchen table and motioned for him to sit down which Harry did because he was tired and his knees ached from the cold. She placed a steaming mug of tea in front of him. Harry wrapped his frozen hands around the mug and waited. Mrs. Gillian sat in front of him and gave him a sympathetic look.

 

'Harry, there are some things I need to tell you.....' Mrs Gillian began. Harry scoffed.

 

'I gathered,' he told her non too gently and he didn't want to sound mean but this woman was in his mother's house and he didn't like it. Mrs. Gillian offered him a sympathetic smile.

 

'I know you must be confused to see me here just as much as I am surprised to see you here,' she told him gently and Harry wondered inside his tired mind if she was fucking with him and trying to be his mother. Was she his step-mother? He didn't know and his brain felt fried because he was thinking too much. He took a sip of tea to stop himself from saying something horrible to her. The scalding liquid went down his throat easing the dryness.

 

'Harry your father...he...he had a stroke,' Mrs. Gillian told him as gently as she could and Harry's head snapped up and he looked at her with wide eyes trying to wrap his head around what she had just said. A stroke? His father?

 

'What?' Harry asked her softly, his voice barely carrying across the room because surely he had misunderstood her. Mrs. Gillian gave him another sympathetic look and Harry figured that he must really look a mess with the way she was looking at him.

 

'Your father had a stroke Harry. He was bad for awhile. I didn't know where to reach you. I didn't have your address or telephone number to call you and tell you to come home.' Harry blinked at her stupidly.

 

'When did this happen? How?' he asked her.

 

'A few months ago. He...he had some trouble with the business. People from the tax department came down here and accused him of evading taxes on the cars he imported and they were all over him. They were pretty hard on him and eventually he had to close down all his business. He went bankrupt. He insisted with them that he had paid all due taxes but they found anomalies and well, he took it pretty hard and he wasn't feeling too good after all this had happened. I kept telling him to go to the doctor but he put it down to worry and stress. Then one evening I brought him dinner and I entered through the back door as always and I called out to him but he didn't reply. I found him on the floor in his study. I called the ambulance right away and the paramedics told me that he had had a stroke.' Harry looked at her with his mouth hanging open. He had been in London with Louis living his life and his father had been going through all this trouble that led him to a stroke! Mrs. Gillian saw the look on his face, reached across the table and placed her hand over his.

 

'Harry none of it is your fault. Even if I had your telephone number I wouldn't have called you. I-I know how he treated you. You mother, God rest her soul, she used to tell me everything.' Harry looked at her with tears in his eyes.

 

'How is he?' he asked her, feeling numb all over. How was this his life?

 

'Now he is doing much better. He lost feeling on his left side. He doesn't walk or talk. At first he had trouble breathing and needed a ventilator but thank goodness, he had started breathing on his own a while ago. He needs assistance as he cannot move on his own. He understands everything, he hears well enough and communicates through his tablet. He can type with his right hand but he can't eat by himself or dress himself. He needs twenty four hour assistance which is why I am here. His health insurance covers a nurse that comes over daily to see to his medical needs and a physio therapist twice a week to help with his limbs. They told me that with medication, therapy and care, he will eventually regain control of his left side again, even though it might not be as before but he has been making progress. I take care of him and the house because I had promised your mother before she passed away that I would take care of both of you.' Harry looked at her in disbelief. And here he was thinking she had married his father and took over his mother's home when she had been doing the job he should've been doing in the first place! She had left her own home to take care of his father. Harry felt ashamed that he had thought bad of her.

 

'I-I don't know what to say Mrs. Gillian,' Harry rasped, his voice think with emotion and sincerity. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

 

'First of all call me Marge,' she told him. 'Are you here to stay or just visiting sweetheart?' Harry took a sip of his tea.

 

'I'm here to stay,' he told her softly. Marge gave him a soft look.

 

'London didn't work out for you darling?' she asked him kindly. Harry felt his chest ache and a lump close around his throat.

 

'No,' he simply told her and he hoped that she wouldn't ask him any more questions about London and all the shit he had been through would stay in London and not follow him here. He couldn't face that kind of humiliation in his hometown, not when he was surrounded by people he had grown up with.

 

'It's alright sweetheart,' Marge told him kindly. 'I will go and fix up your bed. He left your room as you left it. I only removed the linen. I will go and make up it up for you. You look exhausted.' Harry was feeling overwhelmed with emotions.

 

'Do you stay here a lot?' he asked her as he watched her get up off the chair.

 

'I do. He needs round the clock attention. I cook and clean the house and only go to my own home or do the shopping when the nurse, Arthur or the physiotherapist Malcolm, who are both amazing with him come over. Arthur comes for an hour every day from nine am until ten am and Malcolm comes on Tuesdays and Fridays from noon until three pm for your father's physio sessions. It is then that I go do the shopping and clean my house and feed my cats,' she told him with a smile. Harry wanted to hug her. She was an angel. A blessing. How could he ever thank her enough?

 

'Well I will be here now and I will help you. You don't have to do so much yourself Marge. Can I see him?' he asked her.

 

'You have to wait until morning darling. I just put him down for the night. I converted his study into a bedroom for him and I got him a bed and wheelchair from the hospice. I have to thank Arthur for that. He is such a blessing that boy. Very helpful and kind. We couldn't possibly take him up and down the stairs everyday so we figured since he won't be needing his study anymore to make it up into a bedroom and that room looks out on to the garden so he can look outside from the window. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty,' Marge told him somewhat a little self conscious of her making such decisions. It was Harry's turn to squeeze her hand.

 

'Oh God no Marge. You have been amazing but from now on you will have me too. I will help you.' Marge smiled at him.

 

'That would be wonderful. Your mother would be very proud of you,' she told him as she squeezed his shoulder and Harry highly doubted that his mother would be proud of him. 'I will go and make your bed.' She left the room and Harry sat there thinking how he had found his new role in life, that to take care of his father, the man who hated him and had disowned him. And suddenly the phrase "everything happens for a reason" made sense to Harry because maybe all that happened to him was nothing more than the reason that found him here today.

 

 

When Marge retired, Harry slowly climbed the stairs to the second floor and headed for his bedroom but as he walked by the room that used to be his mother's, he stopped. He looked at the closed door, deliberating whether to go in or not then he found himself pushing the door open softly and walking inside. The room was still the same. Same bedspread, same curtains and same fitted carpet. His mother's chair with its fleece blanket was still by the window where she loved to sit and read. On the small table beside the chair was the last book she had been reading with her glasses neatly folded on top of it. Harry felt himself drown in sorrow and loss for his mother. He never knew he needed her so badly until he had stepped back into this house. He was greatly impressed that his father had left the room as it was and for that he felt gratitude towards the man that hated him.

 

'Mum,' he whispered brokenly as he walked towards the dresser where the framed photos were. There was one for her before she got sick, her long dark hair smooth like silk and her radiant smile smiling back at him. Harry picked it up and looked at her and his heart ached in his chest as he traced the contours of her face with his fingers.

 

'God mum I miss you,' he said thickly. He placed the frame back and looked at the others : a wedding photo of his parents, a photo of his parents with a new born Harry in his mother's arms who was glowing with happiness the day they had brought him home from the hospital, a family photo when Harry was three and they had gone to Scotland, a picture of his mother and himself a few days before she had been diagnosed with cancer when they had gone to the Lake District, sitting in the back of the open car, hands wrapped around cups of hot tea and smiling happily. Harry couldn't take anymore. His heart was sure to burst from loss and sadness and grief. He stepped out of his mother's room, gently closing the door behind him and he walked towards his own room.

 

As Harry stepped into his childhood room and closed the door behind him, he was transported back to when he was still a child and teenager who had two loving parents who had loved him until he had destroyed everything by coming out. He had never stopped blaming himself for destroying their family. His father had been right all along. Up until the moment Harry had come out, they were a loving family but Harry had ruined everything because he was selfish. He sighed heavily and looked around the room, letting more emotions assault him and drag him under as if he wasn't drowning enough in misery and self loathing. Marge had made up his bed with clean sheets and his old thick royal blue duvet. She left the lampshade on on his bedside table, and it shed a soft yellowish light which made the room warm and inviting. Harry had never felt less warm and less invited! He put his bag down and looked around. Everything was as he had left it. His bookshelves stacked with books, his old telly, shelves with trophies, his desk with its desk lamp and its rickety chair that was still broken from the time Harry had swiveled so much on it that he had snapped off a wheel and there were even some clothes he had left behind still in the closet. He was amazed that his father had not dragged everything out and burned them just to remove the "gay" from his house permanently.

 

Harry opened his bag and pulled out a fresh pair underwear, pj pants and a t-shirt which he had packed separately from the boxes that were to arrive tomorrow. He went into his own small bathroom and was glad to see that Marge had left him towels. He stripped and got under the hot water, feeling his tense muscles relax, the cold leaving his body. His mind went to Louis and he seemed like a lifetime ago, as if he belonged to another era that had been his life. Harry sighed. That chapter of his life was now closed and he was at the threshold of a new chapter. He would forget. He would move on and heal. He owed that to himself.

 

He stepped out of the water and towel dried himself then put on his fresh clothes. He felt a little better as he padded out into his room and half expected his mum to barge in like she always did without knocking and bring him some warm milk before bed. Alas, he knew that wouldn't happen anytime soon but his heart was reaching out to his mother because he felt close to her here. He sat on the bed and looked at the framed photo on his bedside table of his mother. She had been so beautiful, always smiling, full of hope and positivity. She had always radiated peace and love and warmth and a sense of well being and Harry had been like her. She had passed on those qualities to Harry but he had lost them somewhere along the way while he was trying to give them all to Louis.

 

Louis! What was he doing now? Where was he? Harry wondered if he missed him at all.

 

Harry did not want to think anymore. He did not want to feel. He had had enough for the day so he quickly turned off the lampshade and got into bed, loving the feeling of the crisp clean sheets. He pulled the duvet over him, covering him from head to toe and let sleep take him over. For the very first time in a long while, Harry slept.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry woke up and stretched languidly in the big bed. He felt disoriented and didn't know where he was but then he remembered that he was home. Home! He sat up in bed and looked around. He was in his old childhood bedroom! Weak light filtered in from between the blue curtains and Harry couldn't make out what time it was. He reached on his bedside table for his phone but found it empty, realization hitting him that now he had no phone because he had left it back in London with its rightful owner.

 

London! The word echoed inside his every bone. He had left so much behind....Louis. Harry rubbed his tired eyes and decided that he would do his best not to think about London or Louis or his friends or the waste of a life he had. He threw the duvet off him and swung his long legs off the bed. He padded into the bathroom, stretching and yawning, his bones creaking. He turned on the water and splashed cold water on his face then brushed his teeth. He looked at himself in the mirror above the sink and groaned. His hair was a mess. He needed to wash it. He grabbed it in fistfuls and pulled it up into a bun. When he was done, he left his bedroom and padded downstairs. The house was so familiar to Harry it made him ache inside with memories of long ago when his mother was still alive and he had been happy.

 

The house was silent so Harry headed into the kitchen where he found Marge.

 

'Good morning,' he told her in his deep, raspy voice. Marge turned from the cooker and looked at Harry giving him a radiant smile.

 

'Good morning love. I trust you slept well?' she asked him as she busied herself making him a cup of tea. Harry sat down at the kitchen table.

 

'I did. What time is it?' he asked her.

 

'Just after ten,' she told him as she placed a mug of tea in front of him.

 

'Ten?' he asked surprised. 'Wow I haven't slept like that in ages.' Marge smiled at him and squeezed his arm.

 

'Sometimes being back home is all you need,' she told him softly and turned to get him a plate of breakfast which she put before him. Harry looked at the eggs and toast and felt his stomach turn.

 

'I'm not hungry thank you Marge,' he told her softly. Marge pulled out a chair across from Harry and sat down with her own cup of tea.

 

'Sweetheart, you need to eat. You have lost so much weight. Not eating will not make things better. It will only make you sick. If your mother was here she would tell you the same thing. Now go on little darling and eat just a bit yeah,' she coaxed him gently. Marge could see the sadness and pain etched on Harry's face but she knew not to ask. If he wanted to talk, when he wanted to talk, she would be here for him. She owed Anne that much to be there for her hurting son. Harry gave her a small smile and pulled the plate towards him. He nibbled slowly and realized that his stomach hurt from hunger. He hadn't eaten anything at all the previous day because he had been busy packing and traveling and had forgotten to eat. He had just lived on coffee and his stomach was now protesting.

 

With small chews and even smaller swallows, Harry ate his breakfast and Marge beamed at him proudly.

 

'There you go! Doesn't that feel better now?' she asked him and Harry nodded as he took another sip of his tea.

 

'Marge, can I see my dad?' Harry asked her and watched as Marge's face fell. She looked down into her teacup and said nothing but Harry knew. He didn't need her to say anything.

 

'He...he doesn't want to see me does he?' he asked her sadly as he looked down trying to hide the shame on his face from Marge. Marge looked up at him, her eyes glistening.

 

'He's an old fool Harry. I had to tell him you were back. We can't spring any surprises on him.' Harry nodded understanding what Marge was saying.

 

'What did he say?' he asked her quietly. Marge shook her head at him.

 

'Like I said, he is an old fool. Never you mind him love,' Marge told him not really wanting to repeat what his father had said and Harry could only imagine the harsh words he had said about him.

 

'I-I would just like to go in and see him anyway. I-I think I owe him an apology,' Harry told her quietly.

 

'For what sweetheart? For being you?' Marge asked him a little shocked by his words. 'You are a beautiful soul Harry and you owe nobody no apologies. If your father has problems accepting that, well then its his loss. He is a stubborn goof!' Harry stood up and placed his handover Marge's shoulder.

 

'Thank you Marge. I'll just pop in and say hello,' he told her as he walked towards what had once been the study. He stood outside the door and took in a deep breath bracing himself. What was a little bit more pain added to the grand scheme of heartache he already had? Gently he pushed the door open and saw his father sitting in a wheelchair facing the window that over looked the garden. Harry felt his chest ache at the hunched figure in the chair. His dad had always been a big man physically with an imposing personality (much like Louis) He had always intimidated Harry but now he looked frail and much smaller sitting in that wheelchair. Harry walked over to him and dropped to his knees beside the wheelchair and looked up into his father's face. He looked older and weaker. The left side of his mouth was pulled down and made his father look as if he was permanently frowning.

 

'Hello dad,' Harry said softly and he saw his father's eyes widen and.....look at him with the same disgust he had looked at Harry when Harry had told him he was gay. Harry watched his dad type with his right hand on the tablet that was on the small table next to his wheelchair. Harry craned his neck to see what his father had typed.

 

"Get the fuckout!" it read and Harry felt his heart drop.

 

'Dad please,' Harry whispered in a broken voice. Again his dad typed furiously with his good hand and Harry read.

 

"I don't want you here. Leave! You are no longer my fucking son so get the fuck out of my house." Harry felt close to tears as he grabbed the arm of the wheelchair where his father's left arm rested, wanting so much to take his hand and feel some comfort but Harry knew better than to touch his father. He sat back on his heels.

 

'Dad I have nowhere to go. I have nobody. You are my only family left and I want to take care of you and be here for you. Please don't send me away,' Harry begged him sniffing back the tears. 'I just need some love dad. Please.' Harry rested his forehead on the hand rest of the wheelchair besides his dad's left arm, the one he couldn't move. He could hear his father tapping away on the tablet and he didn't know if he was strong enough to read what his father was writing. When the tapping stopped, Harry raised his head and looked at the tablet screen.

 

"I cannot love a faggot. I will never accept you as my son! Look at you! You look like a fucking girl! You are weak. Get the fuck out of my house."

 

Those harsh words brought tears to Harry's eyes but Harry loved his dad and it was alright if he could not accept him and yes it hurt to be rejected by his own father but Harry needed him now more than ever.

 

'I'm sorry I'm not the son you wanted dad but I love you. You are my father and I will be here for you even though you don't want me. Maybe...Maybe if you get to know me a little maybe you find that you can like me.' His father began typing before Harry had even finished speaking.

 

"I can't stand to have you near me! Your presence repulses me. I can't even look at you with that girl hair! Fuck off!"

 

Harry swallowed back the tears. His father's words broke the little strength that was left in him. Still Harry placed his hand over his father's and he could see the anger and disgust in his eyes wanting to move his hand away from Harry's touch but he couldn't pull his hand away from Harry's grasp because that hand was paralyzed from the stroke. 'I won't give up on you dad even though you gave up on me. Maybe one day you will see the man I have become and maybe you will learn to love me.' Harry let go of his father's hand, not wanting to cause him anymore discomfort and stood up. He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He rested his back against the door and cried softly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.

 

'Oh honey,' Marge told him as she came towards him with a cup of tea for his father. 'What did that oaf say to you? Don't cry sweetie,' she told him as she handed him her handkerchief. She rubbed his back gently as Harry wiped his eyes and he gave her a feeble smile.

 

'I'm fine Marge. Nothing new. You would think I'd be used to it but...but I'm not. Do you mind if I step out for a while? I have somewhere to go,' Harry asked her. Marge smiled at him.

 

'No my darling. Go. Arthur will be here soon. Go. It will do you good to be out of the house for a little while.'

 

 

X

 

 

Half an hour later, Harry was bundled up in a thick sweater, a jacket and a beanie as he exited the house. The morning was bright and the air crisp and very cold. He tucked his hands inside the pockets of his jacket and began walking towards his destination, puffs of breath leaving his lips. He walked towards the town center, past the post office and Barbara's Bakery (he made a mental note to visit the bakery), past the pub and headed down the road towards St Luke's chapel and graveyard. As he began nearing his destination, his heart began to pound in his chest. He hadn't been here since his mother's funeral.

 

He walked into the silent churchyard, making his way past silent headstones towards his mother's grave. As soon as he stood before it, he sat down on the cold wet grass next to her headstone. He touched the golden letters on the marble stone : Anne Styles Beloved mother and wife. Harry noticed that the grave was very well kept and that there were white roses in an ornamental vase beside the headstone. They were a little dry but white roses none the less. He had to thank Mrs. Gillian for taking care that his mother always had fresh flowers.

 

'Hi mum,' Harry whispered sadly. 'I'm back home.' He paused and swallowed hard. 'I failed mum. I failed big time and I'm so sorry I let you down. I-I didn't mean to fall in love. I just didn't mean to fall for Louis but....' Harry paused and wiped at his eyes to stop the tears from falling but he was too emotional. He took in a shuddering breath.

 

'I wish it would've worked out mum. I thought that if I loved him hard enough, it would work out. I loved him with the best love I had inside of me mum, the love you always taught me to give to others but I failed him too. It wasn't enough for him.' Harry paused to take in a gulp of air and wipe his eyes.

 

'You would've loved him mum. He's so beautiful. His eyes are the color of the summer sky and his hair is so soft. He's a bit shorter than me but his personality and character make up for that.' Harry chuckled to himself at the memories of Louis then sniffed as his face fell. 'He is a little bit troubled and I tried to help him mum I really did but I can tell that he's scared. What happened to him must be something big and I know he's so scared behind all that tough exterior of his and I so wanted him to let me in, I wanted to be the one to help him but he....I guess I wasn't enough. I tried to give him all that he wanted and needed but I wasn't enough for him. I was never enough mum for anyone. Except to you. I was enough for you wasn't I mum? God knows how much I miss you. I wish you were here mum because I need you so badly.' He paused because he couldn't continue due to the lump in his throat that was choking the life out of him. He cried silently for a while then wiped his eyes again.

 

'I'm sorry I dropped out of Uni mum but I couldn't stay there. The embarrassment and hurt and humiliation was too much to bear even though I would do it again in a heartbeat for him because Louis deserves a chance at life. What he did to me...I know he didn't mean it! I would be stupid to think he did it on purpose and have him punished for it. Louis is not a rapist mum! He is a very gentle soul and kind and I think in his own way, he loved me but he's damaged by a troubled past but he won't let me help him. If he let me, I know I can bear his burden with him. I know I can. You raised me to be strong mum and to not give up on anyone and I didn't. I helped him till the very end but I had no choice. I feel so guilt for letting you down and disappointing you mum. I just....I don't know what to do. Dad still doesn't want me and I can't blame him can I? I am such a failure and a disappointment. I couldn't even be a normal son to him. I really don't know what to do mum. Sometimes I wish...I just wish I could come be with you but I know that's not an option. Still, I just miss you so much. You always knew the right things to tell me and now I'm lost without you.'

 

Approaching footsteps crunching on the gravel brought Harry's head up and he saw the churchyard keeper approaching with a big bunch of white roses in his hands. Harry stood up and dusted himself from any grass that clung to his wet jeans. The keeper came over and smiled at Harry.

 

'Hello Harry, I didn't know you were back,' he told him with a smile. Harry smiled back at him. Terence Flint had been grounds keeper of the churchyard ever since Harry could remember.

 

'Hello Terence. I just got back in yesterday. Are those for my mother?' Harry asked him nodding towards the roses. Terence nodded.

 

'Yes. I have been placing the same bunch of roses every week for the past eleven months,' Terence told him as he emptied out the vase of the old roses and began arranging in the fresh ones. Harry looked at him confused.

 

'For the last eleven months you said?' Harry asked him and Terence nodded. 'Who are they from? Are they from Mrs. Gillian?' Terence stood up and straightened his back.

 

'No they are not from Marge. I don't know exactly who is sending them but I get paid to take care of the grave and place these roses every week. The cheque I receive every month comes from a company called TGE and the cheque is signed by a Louis Tomlinson. The flowers must be from him too but you can check with the florists down town. They can give you better clarification on the sender.' Harry stood transfixed staring at Terence with wide eyes. Louis had been paying this man to take care of his mother's grave? And he had been sending roses every week for eleven months? Harry felt faint. Terence reached out a hand to him as Harry swayed a little on the spot.

 

'Are you alright Harry?' Terence asked him when he saw his face go pale as if all color had been sucked out of him.

 

'Ye-yes I-I'm fine. Sorry Terence but I have to go,' he told him as he rushed away from his mother's grave. He had to make sure. He had to be certain. He hurried out of the churchyard and made his way towards town. There was only one florist. The walk over there was short and Harry found himself standing in front of the florists door in no time. His hands were shaking and his heart was beating so loud as he wrapped his hand around the cold door knob and opened the door. A small bell tinkled above the door announcing his arrival. The girl behind the counter smiled at him. Harry didn't know her.

 

'Good morning, how can I help you?' she asked him pleasantly.

 

'Yeah uhm I need to know about a delivery of white roses that have been delivered to my mother's grave for the past eleven months,' Harry told her, his words coming out in a rush. 'Please,' he added as an afterthought.

 

'Sure. What do you need to know?' the girl asked him.

 

'Who has been sending them?' Harry asked her and he held his breath and whispered to himself "please let it not be Louis. Please let it not be Louis" and he crossed his fingers hoping that this was all a big mistake and Terence was confusing things. The girl pulled a ledger from under the counter.

 

'Name of your mother please?' she asked him.

 

'Anne Styles,' he told her and held his breath again. He watched the girl run her finger down a list then stop at a name.

 

'Ah yes,' she told him. 'The sender is a Mr. Louis Tomlinson. We had strict orders to send in two dozen white roses every week to your mother's grave. So far we have no order to stop the deliveries. In fact I just sent this week's order over to.....'

 

'Thank you,' Harry told her and he had to drag himself out of the shop because he was going to pass out. Louis had in fact been sending flowers to his mother! Harry stood with his back to the cold brick wall of the shop, taking in deep breaths and gasping like a fish out of water. He was seeing stars behind his close eyelids and he was fairly sure that he was going to faint.

 

'Louis,' Harry whispered into the cold air. His heart beat furiously in his chest and swelled from the love he felt for Louis. Louis was kind and gentle and Harry knew that Louis had loved him truly. He had taken care of his mother too1 He had taken the time to send her flowers and make sure her grave was taken care of. And now it pained Harry even more to know that despite the love they had shared, Louis still preferred to let him go rather than give up his boys and let him in. Harry felt frustrated that all this love was going to waste, that Louis had to be so damn stubborn. But he had to accept the way things where and move on. What was done was done and there was no going back now. Sadly, Harry pulled himself away from the wall and trudged back home, new despair gripping him tightly. He wondered if there was an end for all this pain?

 

As he walked, his mind wouldn't stop thinking and his heart wouldn't stop wishing. He didn't dare dream or hope. He just wanted to forget. Forget everything. He had to make of this a fresh start, a new beginning and leave the past behind once and for all. He walked past the barbershop and stopped. New beginnings. Before he knew what he was doing, he opened the door and stepped inside. Harry was glad to see that the shop was empty and that the shop was still owned by good old Clarence White.

 

'New beginnings, Fresh new start,' Harry whispered to himself.

 

'Harry!' Clarence greeted him. 'Is that you little Harry Styles? Oh dear you have grown up so much. Back home are you? Or just visiting?' Harry wasn't in the mood for all this cheer and familiar reunions but he couldn't just be rude to the man so Harry gave him a smile.

 

'Back home for now,' he told him quietly. Clarence nodded.

 

'No place like home my boy. What can I do for you today?' Clarence asked him happily. Harry tugged the hair tie from his bun, his curls coming undone and flowing around his shoulders.

 

'Please cut my hair,' Harry told him softly. 'All of it.' Clarence showed him to a chair and Harry sank into it as he looked at his horrid reflection in the mirror. His face was too pale and too thin. His eyes were red and looked empty. Clarence wrapped a towel around his shoulders and brushed his hair out. Harry looked at Clarence through the mirror.

 

'Save my hair. I want to donate it,' Harry told him and Clarence nodded as he pulled Harry's hair neatly into a ponytail at the nape of the neck, tying it securely with a rubber band. Harry saw him place the scissors over the rubber band and Clarence hesitated but Harry gave him a small nod and he felt the scissors cutting away through his thick hair. Harry closed his eyes.

 

New beginning. Fresh new start.

 

And no more looking like a girl, his subconscious threw at him. Still trying to please your father even though you know he will never love you or accept you. But you are a people pleaser and you would do anything for people to like you even a little bit, to accept you and feel you belong. Your own father can't stand you how do you expect people to like you?

 

Harry did not look at himself in the mirror's reflection as Clarence worked on his hair. He kept his lips tightly pressed together to keep from crying. Finally, Clarence put his scissors and comb down.

 

'Ready,' he told him and slowly, ever so slowly, Harry raised his eyes to the mirror and he faced himself. His long curls where all gone and he now sported short hair with a wave of curls at the top of his hair swept side ways away from his forehead. He looked older. More mature. He looked like a man. Harry got up off the chair, paid Clarence, thanked him and left the shop pulling the beanie in top of his freshly cut hair and his severed pony tail in the other.

 

It was alright. It was all good. New beginnings. A fresh new start.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry settled into his life back at home. For the past week he had tried to keep himself occupied and not think about Louis or London. He had met Arthur and Malcolm and he loved their company when they came over to see to his father. They had invited him on a few occasions to meet up with them down at the pub for a pint but he always declined politely. Harry had somewhat closed himself away from people, fearing more hurt and rejection where he to let them close enough. He preferred quiet evenings in the conservatory, sipping on herbal tea and reading.

 

His relationship with his father was none the better. Harry went into his room and sat beside him every day, talking to him about anything or simply reading to him. Anything to try and build a bridge to his father's heart but Desmond Styles remained resolute in not wanting his son around. Not even Harry's short hair seemed to make Desmond have a different opinion of him. All he did was type abuse on his tablet that Harry read and swallowed. His father struggled to try to speak, to try to move, anything to get Harry away from him until Harry, seeing him struggle had no other choice but to leave the room in tears.

 

He helped Marge with chores, mostly with shopping and feeding her cats. She always found ways to send him out of the house for a little while every day. She knew how hard Des was being on him and she never failed to tell the man that he was being a cruel father to the boy but Desmond Styles never wavered in his opinions regarding Harry.

 

Harry loved being around Marge because she showered him with affection and food. She always had words of endearment for him and Harry needed that. He needed somebody to be soft with him and care for him and make him feel not so much as the failure that he was. Having Marge around the house was nice. She was a maternal figure that Harry so much needed at this lowest point in his life. She reminded him a lot of Judy and he found himself missing her a lot.

 

Everyday he took long walks into the woods and he loved to sit beside the little stream and read. He was becoming accustomed to solitude and even though at times he felt lonely and cried for Louis at night, he knew this was needed for him to grow and learn from his mistakes, the pain of his broken heart helping him to learn and heal. Many where the times when he just sat there, listening to the rush of the stream and bubbling water and just thought about Louis. He wondered if Louis missed him. If Louis ached for him just as much as he did. If he was heartbroken over him too. He would spend hours thinking about what could've been had Louis let him in and trusted him. Would that have brought them closer or tore them further apart?

 

After his walk in the woods, Harry started going down into the little town center and helping Barbara at the Bakery. He loved the little shop. He loved the smell of freshly baked bread and pastries. Mostly he loved meeting people that came to the shop because it took his mind off of his broken heart and solitude. He welcomed the distractions and the company. Anything to help him not pine over Louis.

 

By the time it was time to return home, Harry would feel somewhat satisfied with his day and daily routine. He loved returning home to a warm house and a lovely dinner. Marge could now go and sleep at her own home since Harry was here so that gave her a little more time to herself. It was the evenings that Harry felt more lonely and sad, curled up on the couch binge watching on Netflix and feeling like he wanted his life to end. But then he'd fall asleep with Louis on his mind and wake up to face another day, struggling through it like he had done the day before but his mother had always taught him to be brave and he was trying to at least not let her down once more.

 

 

X

 

 

It was two weeks before Christmas. Harry had been home for two and a half weeks now and fully settled in his daily routines. The weather was terrible. It was snowing hard but Harry loved it. He didn't mind going out every morning to shovel the snow from the driveway and the sidewalk. He had decorated the house for Christmas like his mother used to. His mother had loved Christmas and had always made a big family affair out of it, spreading the cheer of the holiday season to everyone she met and Harry wanted to honor his mother and do the same. It was the season to be jolly, of family, love and giving and even though his situation was far from jolly, he was determined to make the best out of his situation and have a good Christmas and spread the love.

 

He had put up the big Christmas tree in the lounge, decorated the mantle piece with holly and red candles and put up three Christmas stockings : one for his dad, because he was getting one whether he liked it or not, one for Marge and one for himself. He had already bought presents that were neatly wrapped and placed under the tree. Harry had put on the fireplace and the house was cozy and warm. He burned pumpkin spiced candles making the house smell wonderful along with the burning wood in the fireplace. It felt like home.

 

This afternoon, Marge had gone to clean her house and ready it for Christmas for when her children and grand kids visited. The snow outside continued to fall softly covering everything in white. Harry was in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies, Christmas music playing in the living room. He felt at peace. He wasn't happy and his heart still ached but he was peaceful. He was singing 'Jingle Bell Rock' softly to himself along with the music, wearing his Santa hat, a big red woolly sweater, sweatpants and reindeer socks. The oven bell dinged indicating that another batch of cookies where done. He took out the tray of baked cookies, smiling at himself for the job well done when the doorbell rang. Harry put tray on the counter and went to get the door, still singing to himself, a smile on his face. When he opened it, the smile slid off his face and he stood there gaping, shocked and surprised.

 

'Hello Harry,' Louis told him, as he stood before him on his very doorstep, his soft hair covered in snowflakes and Harry didn't know if he was dreaming or if this was some hallucination his brain was cooking up. He stared at Louis unable to move, to think, to speak or to react. 'Can I come in?' Louis asked him, his voice ever so soft as he shivered on the doorstep even though he was wearing a thick jacket and gloves. Harry recovered a little form the shock of seeing Louis on his doorstep and opened the door a little wider to let Louis in. Louis gave him a small smile and walked past him into the blissfully warm house. Harry closed the door behind him and watched Louis take off his jacket and shoes. Louis looked at him tenderly

 

'How are you Harry?' Louis asked him, his voice soft and his eyes softer and Harry wanted to break down and cry. Harry walked past him into the living room without saying a word and he sat down on the couch. Louis followed him, taking in the beautiful Christmas decorations that decorated the house. He stopped in front of the blazing fireplace and held his hands out to the flame warming them.

 

'Your house is very beautiful,' Louis remarked. 'Feels like home.' Harry looked up at him as Louis continued to warm himself in front of the blazing fire and Harry blinked. Was Louis really here? Standing in front of his fireplace beside his Christmas tree?

 

'H-how did y-you find me?' Harry asked him quietly. 'Why are you here?' Louis knew that his appearing at his house unexpectedly was a shock to Harry. It had been two and a half weeks since they had last spoken at City Hall. Louis couldn't take his eyes off of him, sitting there in his Santa hat and Rudolf the reindeer socks. He was so fucking cute.

 

'I looked for you,' Louis told him. 'I found out a week after you had left that you had left London. And dropped out of Uni. We were so worried about you.....'

 

'We?' Harry interrupted him, his eyes wide, still not believing Louis was here.

 

'Yes. Me and your friends. We panicked when we didn't find you. Niall was beside himself with worry and guilt. I didn't know where to look for you Harry. You left no trail. The first places I looked for you were hospitals and morgues that's how worried I was. The note you left for Niall, we...we were scared. We didn't know what to think of it. What you did or where you went.' Louis paused and looked at Harry. 'Then I began to check flights. See if you went off somewhere. I was so worried about you Harry you have no idea. When searches through a week's flights didn't bring up your name, I well, I asked for help. I had to find you. A few days later, I got news that you had boarded a train to Manchester and I hoped that you were headed here. In all honesty, this was the last place I would've thought to look for you but here you are and I'm so fucking glad you are alright and well and.....' Louis paused, trying to hide the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. 'Looking so very Christmassy!'

 

Harry remembered that he was wearing the stupid Santa hat and he pulled off quickly, clutching it tightly in his fist. He looked up when he heard Louis gasp and found himself staring into Louis' horror stricken face.

 

'What?' Harry asked him.

 

'Oh my God you cut your hair! Oh fuck you cut your hair!' Louis exclaimed. Harry quickly ran a hand through his curls suddenly feeling very self conscious.

 

'Yeah...I um....I needed a change,' he said quietly. Louis walked over to him and sat down beside him, looking at him.

 

'Oh my God it's all gone!' Louis said looking at Harry's short hair. Harry's face fell.

 

'Yeah sorry,' he muttered even though he didn't know why he was even saying sorry. It was his damn hair! He could cut it! He did cut it and Louis didn't have to like it. Louis smiled softly.

 

'It suits you. You look very....' he stopped and searched for words. 'Very grown up,' Louis finally told him, resisting the urge to card his fingers through Harry's short curls. Harry looked down at his feet feeling nervous because fuck Louis was here, sitting beside him, his knee brushing his thigh. After two and a half weeks of not seeing him, Louis had come here.

 

'Why are you here?' Harry finally asked him, not bearing the silence or Louis' eyes on him any longer. Louis shifted in his seat, scooting a little closer to Harry. It was torture for Harry but he stayed still.

 

'Harry, what you did for me.....'

 

'No!' Harry cut him off. 'Please I can't.....just leave it. Please.' He really didn't want to relieve all that again.

 

'I can't leave it Harry. I can't. What you did for me. What you put yourself through for me! It drove you away from your home....' (from me) Louis wanted to say but he didn't. He was already overwhelming Harry enough and he had only been here for twenty minutes. Harry looked nervous.

 

'This is my home,' Harry cut him off again. 'I am home. I'm home. Please just leave it.' His voice was desperate.

 

'Are you really home?' Louis asked him.

 

'What do you want from me?' Harry asked him in a choked up whisper. There was a beat of silence.

 

'I want you,' Louis told him softly and Harry shook his head.

 

'No,' he pleaded. 'Please Louis just go back to London and leave me be. Please.' Harry began to feel overwhelmed and emotional and all the peace he had worked towards so hard was leaving him and he was a blubbering tearful mess.

 

'Is that what you really want?' Louis asked him. 'Have you forgotten me? Have you stopped loving me? Has moving here helped you move on from what we had? Because it sure as hell hasn't made me forget you or stop loving you or move on from you.' Harry stood up abruptly and stood before the fire place, his back to Louis and he covered his face with his hands.

 

'Please stop it. Just please,' he whimpered from between his fingers. 'You decided it was best for us to part because you.....'

 

'I couldn't give you what you wanted,' Louis finished for him as he stood up and walked towards Harry. He stood behind him. 'I know what I said and I regret all of it. I can't live without you Harry. Of that I am sure.' Harry turned around suddenly and they were standing far too close, inches apart and Harry was looking into Louis blue eyes and his damn knees felt weak because Louis was dragging him back, back, back. Harry couldn't move backwards unless he wanted to end up butt first in the fireplace.

 

'And I- I can't live the kind of life you need Lou,' Harry told him in a pleading voice. Louis looked up into his green eyes.

 

'I wasn't going to ask that of you Harry,' Louis told him in a gentle voice. 'I-I came here to tell you that I want you back...on your terms. If you'll have me.' Harry blinked at him confused.

 

'What?' he barely asked. His heart felt too big and to full inside his chest. And his body was too warm from the fire. Louis swallowed thickly.

 

'I gave them up...my boys. All of them. They're gone. And I put the house up on the market. It holds too many bad memories for the both of us. If, by any chance you take me back, we'll choose a new house together. If you don't, I will go back and try to move on in a new house. I can't possibly stay in that house.' Louis watched the shock on Harry's face, the impact his words were having on him. Louis kept his eyes fixed on Harry. 'And,' he whispered, 'I will let you in. I will tell you everything Harry. I'm scared. Terrified even of opening up and terrified that maybe...maybe afterwards, after you hear my story, you will not want me. That when you know everything there is to know about me, you will feel disgusted and not want me anymore but that's a risk I'm willing to take. For you. I love you too much to let you go.'

 

Harry remained stock still like a statue, staring at Louis, his lips parted, eyes wide. Louis began to feel nervous.

 

'Please say something,' Louis begged him softly.

 

'I- I don't....I mean....'

 

'Just give me another chance Harry. Please. One more chance to tell you all there is to tell you then its up to you. If you send me away, I will go and I will never ever bother you again but I need to tell you all of it. Its important that I do because if I don't, it will end me,' Louis told him desperately. Harry finally found his feet and moved past Louis, sitting down on the couch heavily. Louis felt his world about ready to collapse around him. He watched Harry run his fingers through his short hair and God he wanted to do that. He wanted to feel those baby curls between his fingers! Harry looked up at him.

 

'I don't know Lou. Everything is just too painful,' Harry confessed. 'I need to move on....from you,' he admitted. And Louis didn't know how he even moved but the next thing he knew was that he was on his knees in between Harry's legs, Harry's hands clasped in his. And Louis never kneeled for anyone in his life but he would kneel for his boy.

 

'Please Harry don't turn me away now. Don't run away from me, not when I've come to this point in my life. I know I don't deserve it after all that I did to you, but please please I beg you, give me this chance. I know it might not change your mind and I know things between us could still end and I am not asking anything of you at all except for this one chance.' Louis raised Harry's hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles one by one. And Harry had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to stop himself from crying out loud and grabbing Louis' face in between his hands and kissing him hard.

 

'Baby please,' Louis begged. 'Let me try and make this right. I can't lose you. I know I've been nothing but a dick to you but I'm ready to give you all that you want,' he told him as he continued to kiss his knuckles. Harry was melting under Louis' words and his lips and his touch.

 

'Alright,' he said softly because he couldn't deny Louis anything and everyone deserves a second (third and fourth and fifth) chance. Harry might be setting himself up for further heartache by allowing Louis this chance but he couldn't say no. Louis' face lit up.

 

'Really? You mean that?' he asked him. Harry looked down and away from Louis' face because Louis' blue eyes where bright and they hurt.

 

'I do. I will give you this chance to tell me whatever it is you want to tell me,' Harry told him in a sad voice because he was confused and Louis' visit was unexpected and he hadn't been prepared for any of this.

 

'I won't let you down,' Louis promised him. 'I will tell you everything there is to know about me Harry I swear.' Harry nodded and looked up at Louis, meeting his blue eyes.

 

'D-did you r-really give up your boys?' he asked him. 'For me?' Louis got up off his knees and sat next to Harry.

 

'I did,' he told him. Harry nodded again but didn't say anything because too much was going through his mind and his heart was beating way too fast. Louis had given up his boys! Was he serious then about all of this? Louis could see his discomfort and confusion so he decided to change the subject.

 

'Why did you come back here Harry?'

 

'I-I had nowhere else to go,' Harry admitted. Louis sighed feeling that Harry moving here was nothing but his fault.

 

'How has he been treating you?' Louis asked him, feeling a deep sense of anger for Harry's father. Harry shrugged.

 

'He-he's not well. He had a stroke because his business failed. He doesn't talk or move his left side. He's bound to a wheelchair,' Harry said not looking at Louis and Louis froze when he heard those words because wasn't it he who had asked Morrison to put Mr. Desmond Styles out of business? Still, this was about Harry not his father.

 

'But?' Louis asked him because Louis knew there was a but in there. He knew Harry well enough. He could always hear the words that Harry could never voice out loud.

 

'He still hates me,' he admitted quietly. 'He still hates that I'm gay.' Louis felt his stomach turn and he felt no pity for the man.

 

'He made it that obvious huh?' Louis spat angrily. Harry shrugged.

 

'He's my dad....'

 

'He had no right to treat you like shit and make you feel bad for who you are Harry,' Louis said angrily. 'Is that why you cut your hair? He didn't like it, that you had long hair huh?' Harry kept looking down, fidgeting with his fingers and didn't say anything.

 

'You did didn't you?' Louis pressed. 'Jesus fucking Christ this is all my fucking fault. I'm sorry you had to go through this abuse again.' Harry looked at him.

 

'Don't. Its a good thing I came. He needs me. I can look after him,' Harry told him.

 

'Baby,' Louis whispered.

 

'Don't call me that unless you mean it,' Harry told him a little sharply.

 

'I do Harry. I swear. I mean it.' Louis said.

 

'Are you going to tell me what you came here to tell me then?' Harry asked him. 'Let's get this over and done with Louis.' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'I can't tell you here Harry. It's not that easy.'

 

'Why not?' Harry asked him. 'This is the story of your life.' Louis sighed and Harry could see the sadness on his face. What the hell did he need to tell him?

 

'We need to go for a drive Harry,' Louis told him. 'There's somewhere I need to take you. So you can see for yourself,' Louis told him.

 

'Where?' Harry pressed. Louis looked down and chewed on his bottom lip, wringing his fingers together. Harry could tell that he was nervous. Finally, Louis raised his head and met Harry's green eyes that were staring right back into is own eyes.

 

 

'Back to where it all began,' Louis told him gravely. 'Doncaster.'

 

A/N HOPE YOU LIKED IT. NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE HARD. SEE YOU ALL IN CHAPTER 24...HOPEFULLY COMING SOON........


	24. Stripping My Soul Bare Naked For The Love of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The much awaited chapter. Please read with caution. I am very graphic and go into detail about things, so here are the warnings one more time :  
>  WARNINGS : Child abuse (sexually, physically and mentally) violence (physical), rape (mentions only), prostitution, alcohol, depression, bipolarisim, suicide (mentions only), No deaths of a character.   
> IF ANY OF THIS TRIGGERS YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. I HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION SO ITS UP TO YOU.  
> Hope you like it.   
> All the love, M.

Stripping My Soul Bare Naked For The Love of You.

 

 

Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down

Right now I'm completely defenseless

For your eyes only, I show you my heart

For when you're lonely and forget who you are

I'm missing half of me when we're apart

Now you know me, for your eyes only

 

 

Harry settled Louis in the spare bedroom upstairs right across from his own room but he himself couldn't settle down and go to sleep. The shock of having Louis here was too much and adrenaline was still coursing through his body making his heart race and his nervous system alive like a live wire. He hadn't seen Louis for over two weeks and here he was, right across the hall from him. Louis had come back for him! Harry paced his room and thought all about what Louis had told him. He had given up his boys for him! He had put the house on the market! Louis wanted new beginnings and a fresh start too and Harry wondered if Louis could actually really truly give him those? Could Harry trust him and let himself go back to him? Harry couldn't deny how nervous Louis had been when he had told him that he would tell him the truth and let him into his past but was that enough for Harry to allow him back into his life? He was beginning to heal and embrace his new life.

 

What new life? You have no life without him. Don't kid yourself with these doubts. You know you want him back into your life and still take him even if he will make a mess out of you and your heart repeatedly. Face it, there is no you without him!

 

Harry groaned at his invading subconscious but it was right! He was just kidding himself thinking he was healing. He was just adjusting himself into a life he didn't want just because Louis had left him. Harry wondered if he was ready to hear all of Louis' past. He had wanted Louis to let him in so badly but now that Louis was ready, he was worried that maybe he might not be strong enough to handle Louis' past at all. What if it was really bad and he couldn't handle it? He was fairly sure it would crush Louis if he was too weak to handle it because Louis was ready to open up and let himself be vulnerable and Harry was afraid he would let him down. What if it was so bad that it would change things between them? What if it was so bad that his point of view of Louis changed altogether? What then? He ran a hand through his short hair in frustration. Louis was depending on him dammit and nothing that was Louis' past should influence his present. Whatever happened in Louis' past, would stay in the past. Harry would handle it!

 

'I can and I will,' he told himself with determination. 'He's depending on me and I need to be his strength if it fails him,' Harry reasoned with himself. 'He needs me and I will not let him down. Come on Harry, don't be a wuss. You can do this for him. Louis needs you now and you will be strong for him and do this!' He looked at the clock on his bedside table. 4:15 am. There was no sleeping now. Useless trying. He should get ahead start on the day since Louis had told him that they should probably leave by nine am as it was a two and a half hour drive to Doncaster. Harry decided to get started and prepare himself for the day ahead because he knew it was going to be a tough long one.

 

He went into his bathroom and took a long hot shower, washing his hair which was now much easier and quicker to wash. He took his time under the hot water, as he tried to calm his worried mind and let the steaming water wash away his strain and relax his tired muscles. When he was done, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stood in front of the mirror above the sink. He ran a hand across the mirror removing the condensation so he could see himself. He towel dried his hair and shaved. Then he brushed his teeth. His hair was easy and quick to style now. He combed it through and applied a small amount of mousse to pop out his curls and keep them away from his face.

 

When he was finished with his bathroom and skin care routine, he went back into his room, pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, a black sweater with NY on it and pulled out his thick brown coat. He was going to need the extra layers. The snow hadn't stopped and the temperature had gone down considerably. He got dressed, taking the coat and boots downstairs. He descended as quietly as he could, avoiding the creaking steps as he did not want to wake Louis up. As Harry headed into the kitchen, he saw Louis sitting in the dark lounge, which was illuminated only by the Christmas tree lights. He was curled up on the couch, his legs under him. Harry put his boots and coat in the hall and padded back into the lounge.

 

'Hey,' Harry told him softly but Louis jumped regardless. 'Sorry I didn't mean to....'

 

'Its alright,' Louis told him with a small smile. 'I was just....' Harry sat down next to him.

 

'You couldn't sleep?' Louis looked down.

 

'No,' he said quietly. Harry could already see the changes in him. He somehow looked smaller if that was even possible, and he was quieter, his tone of voice gentler. The dominating, self possessed, confident, controlling, demanding Louis was nowhere to be seen. For the first time ever, Harry saw a different Louis. This Louis looked scared and fragile and small. Harry reckoned that with just one touch, one word, Louis with crumble and break.

 

'Neither could I,' Harry admitted, hoping that Louis wouldn't feel alone in this. He had to know that they were in this together right? Louis looked up at Harry and Harry felt his breath catch because Louis was beautiful sitting there silhouetted by the colorful lights of the Christmas tree. He looked as if he was radiating light from within, almost making him look ethereal. But what caught Harry the most was the sad look on his face, his blue eyes so empty.

 

'I'm so sorry that I showed up unannounced Harry. I didn't mean to.....' Instinctively, Harry reached out and placed his hand on Louis' knee, squeezing it gently and watched Louis' tense face relax a little at the contact.

 

'Don't be sorry,' Harry told him, his voice reassuring. 'Don't ever be sorry. I-I'm glad you came.' Harry swallowed thickly, searching for the right words to say. 'Louis, just know that you are not alone in this. I'm with you all the way.' Louis looked down again and Harry saw his face grow sadder.

 

'You might not want to be with me anymore after.....' Harry squeezed his knee a little tighter for emphasis.

 

'Louis, I am in love with you. Truly, madly and deeply. I love you for the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the horrible and the painful. For the happy and for the sad. You asked me if I have forgotten you and moved on from you. I haven't. I'm nothing without you, so please have a little faith in me. Your past does not define who you are today. Whatever you overcame, you overcame it and you made it through. Louis, your past won't change my feelings towards you please believe that.' Harry saw Louis' lower lip tremble. What the hell had happened to his sassy, bossy, stern Louis? Where was he and who was this Louis here? Harry scooted closer to him and took his chin in his hand and gently raised his face to him.

 

'Hey, I mean it Louis,' he told him as he leaned in closer to him. Louis' eyelashes fluttered and he held his breath as he felt Harry's lips brush his in a very gentle soft kiss and Louis wanted to wrap his arms around Harry and kiss him hard and thank him because Harry was a gentle soul and after all that Louis had put him through, here he was still not giving up on his sorry ass and here he was giving him another chance. Harry was his champion, his knight in shining armour.

 

Wait until you tell him. Wait until he hears what you did. Then he will leave you and run to the hills because he will be disgusted and won't even bare to look at you.

 

'Do you want some coffee?' Harry asked him. 'Its still five am. Too early to do anything.' Louis nodded and curled into himself snuggling further into the soft couch, seeking warmth and comfort. Harry pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and gently placed it over him because Louis was cold. The fire had died out and there was no warmth in the room, just a few glowing embers in the dying hearth. Before he left, he started up a fire in the fireplace.

 

He came back ten minutes later and found Louis still lost in his thoughts, his gaze focused on the flame in the grate that had now warmed the room. Maybe Louis wasn't ready to open up yet. Maybe Louis wasn't ready to face the demons of his past yet. Maybe he was just doing this because he felt he owed it to Harry.These thoughts ran around in Harry's mind but he couldn't give voice to them, yet he had to. He had to find a way to broach the subject to Louis, to reassure him that it was alright if he wasn't ready to do this. Harry wanted to let him know that he understood if he wasn't. He sat down next to Louis and handed him his mug of hot coffee, which Louis took gratefully and wrapped both hands around the steaming mug, soaking up the warmth.

 

'Lou,' Harry began as gently as he could. 'I- I um just want you to um know t-that I understand if-if m-maybe you are not ready to do this......' but Louis looked up at him and gave him a small smile, a little of the old Louis shining through his blue eyes.

 

'Harry, I'm ready to let it all go. Just not you. I'm not ready to let you go and if this is what it takes to keep you with me and into my future, then I'm ready to do this.'

 

 

x

 

 

By seven am, Harry was busy getting everything sorted for the day ahead. He had as yet to tell Marge that he would be leaving for the day (was it just a day or would Louis need more than one day in Doncaster?) He made a mental note to ask Louis who had gone up to the guest room an hour ago and had yet to come back down. Harry was worried about him but tried to be supportive instead of letting Louis know he was just as terrified as him. They couldn't be both terrified at the same time so it was Harry's turn to be fearless now. Louis was about to let go and Harry had to be the strong net that will catch him and keep him safe.

 

Harry began to prepare his father's breakfast, making him his tea and bowl of fresh fruit and one boiled egg. Marge had left a list of instructions for him attached to the fridge which included his father's daily intake of food, which medicines he should give him and at what times, nap times and other important things regarding his father's health and well being. Harry had to keep himself busy until it was time to go. Louis came into the kitchen just then, dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a huge woolly sweater that was a little too big on him but he looked all snugly and warm inside it, the sleeves almost covering his palms. He hadn't shaved and his beard was fuller and his hair fell in a soft fringe across his forehead. Harry felt his heart soar and beat rapidly because Louis was beautiful and looked soft and different from the Louis he had known so far. He didn't fail to notice how small Louis looked and how in need of a hug he was. So Harry didn't hesitate. The time for hesitation was long past gone. He crossed the kitchen towards him and simply wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders and pulled him into his chest, taking Louis by surprise and was Louis smaller? Harry engulfed him in his arms, holding him tightly to his chest, gently rubbing his back up and down and he felt Louis tremble against him but he didn't pull away from him. He let Harry hug him because he needed it badly.

 

'It will be alright,' Harry whispered in Louis' ear hoping to reassure him. 'Whatever it is, we will be alright I promise you. We will make it through love. I won't leave you Lou. For anything in the world. I won't leave you please hold on to that and believe it. I'm yours. Yours.' And Harry squeezed him a little tighter, yet Louis did not hug him back and that was alright because Harry could understand his fears and his doubts and his insecurities. It wasn't easy for Louis Tomlinson to be making these changes and Harry knew that Louis being vulnerable was even harder for him. Harry placed a small kiss on the top of his head and let him go. Louis stepped away, not meeting Harry's eyes. He just gave him a nod and sat down at the kitchen table while Harry slid a cup of coffee in front of him which Louis took gratefully.

 

'Breakfast?' Harry asked him trying to sound cheerful.

 

'No thanks,' Louis told him. Harry sighed.

 

'You can't not eat Lou,' Harry told him repeating the words that Marge had told him when he had first gotten here. 'We have a long day ahead of us and you need your strength. Just some toast yeah. Please?' Louis gave him a small smile but it was a sad smile and Harry could understand that.

 

'Alright. But only because you said please,' Louis told him softly trying to make light of the situation and Harry smiled big, popping his dimples.

 

'I'll just take my dad his tea and I'll....'

 

'I'll take it to him,' Louis offered, getting up off the chair. 'About time I met your dad,' he said and his voice was a little too dry and a little too sarcastic. Harry swallowed.

 

'I don't think its a good idea Lou.' But Louis took the cup from him.

 

'Don't worry. I've dealt with assholes all my life. What's another one?' Harry didn't think it was a good idea for Louis to go and meet his dad but he knew that there was no persuading Louis otherwise, so he showed Louis which way to go, said a silent prayer and let him go. Louis pushed open the door and saw Harry's dad in the bed, propped up against pillows.

 

'Good morning Mr. Styles,' Louis said, placing his cup of tea on the bedside table. He saw the look Des gave him, a confused who- are- you- what- are- you- doing- in- my- house look so Louis handed him his tablet and that was exactly what he typed. Louis gave him a small cold smile.

 

'I am Louis Tomlinson,' he said and saw immediate recognition pass over Des' features because who didn't know him especially business people? He typed quickly with his right hand which was steady and firm.

 

"The Louis Tomlinson? I am honored to have you in my house but how are you here?"

 

Louis gave him the fakest smile he could offer, folded his hands across his chest and stared the man down with his icy blue eyes. 'I am your son's boyfriend,' he told him calmly and watched Des' face fall and cloud over as a disgusted angry look took over his face. Louis snatched the tablet from him, taking away his only means of communication. He was going to talk and he was going to make him fucking listen.

 

'Let's get one thing straight here Mr. Styles. I am not your son. I will not stand here and take homophobic abuse from you. You should be ashamed of yourself for treating your son the way you do. Do you have any idea what an amazing soul he is? Do you have the slightest notion of how kind he is? No you wouldn't would you cos you kicked him out because he told you he was gay!' Louis spat at him. He paused as he watched Des try to struggle to say something.

 

'Hold your thoughts,' Louis told him sarcastically, 'because I am not quite finished yet. I have known your son for eleven months and he has the most amazing heart a human being can ever have. He's understanding of others, he's compassionate and patient and spreads love around like fucking confetti. He's the fucking King Confetti of love that boy! He gives unconditionally and never expects anything back. He sacrifices himself for the people he loves just like he's doing for you. He loves you still even after all the abuse and hate you showered on him and you still do. Do you know how many times he has cried because of what you did to him? Because of the harsh words you say to him? He is very sensitive but how would you know? You fucking disowned him! What kind of father does that? But then again, you don't deserve the kindness that he's showing you and the love he's giving you. You deserve none of it! Yet here he is, taking care of you because you are unable to take care of yourself. Personally, if it was up to me I would have dumped you in a retirement home and leave you there to rot but Harry won't. He will give up the rest of his life to care for you because that's the man he is.' Louis paused and took in a deep breath and damn it felt good let off some steam! He looked at the pitiful man with the angry face struggling and blubbering in bed before him trying to speak but only gurgling sounds made it past his twisted lips. Louis took a step closer to him and leaned down over the invalid man.

 

'You know, one day I will make him very happy. One day I will give him all that he deserves in this life. One day, that boy in there will have the love of a big family and he will be accepted and loved and treasured and you.....' Louis spat at him. 'You might get physically better and you might regain use of your body and get back some what of the life you had but you will never know happiness. You will have to live with the knowledge that you lost everything and you have nothing. You will be alone because cruel people like you will never find it in themselves to love others. Your son has taught me how to love and how to feel. He has taught me to forgive and let others in and I...' Louis paused as he felt pain of what he had done to Harry rip through his chest. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'I was a fool to hurt him and push him away but he never ever gave up on me. He has continued to love me through it all and if we overcome this one final obstacle that we are facing, nothing and nobody would ever tear us apart. Ever. So just know Mr. Desmond Styles, that your son WILL be happy. I will make it my fucking mission to see that he is happy and has the life and love he deserves. I will make it my life's sole purpose after today to make sure that he will be cherished and loved the way he deserves. And I hope to God he will realize his worth and not feel diminished just because you are a homophobic bastard who can't love him.' Louis handed the tablet to Harry's dad.

 

'You have the chance to say anything you want to me but it better not be something bad about Harry because stroke or no stroke, I will not fucking allow you to bad mouth my boy,' Louis told him. He watched Des' shaky right hand hover over the tablet but not type anything, his eyes boring hatefully into Louis'. Louis tapped his foot impatiently waiting for him to type something. When Des still didn't type anything, Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'I thought so. Now, how about your tea?'

 

 

x

 

 

Louis went back out into the kitchen with the empty cup and stopped short when he found Harry in the company of a middle aged woman. They were talking but the woman smiled at him cheerfully.

 

'I take it this is Louis then?' Marge told Harry and Harry nodded, his cheeks flushed because he had just been telling her about Louis. Harry looked at Louis.

 

'Y-yes this is him,' Harry told her softly and Louis wanted to fucking squeeze him to death by hugging. 'Lou this is Mrs. Gillian. She takes care of us.' Marge walked over to Louis.

 

'Just call me Marge love. It is such a pleasure to meet Harry's friends,' she told him as she shook his hand and Louis shot a look at Harry, raising his eyebrow slightly. Friend? Harry shrugged and smiled apologetically and Louis realized that maybe he didn't want to tell her now that they were more than fucking friends! He didn't know why it irritated him that Harry referred to him as "friend". He should be thankful that Harry even accepted him into his home! He shouldn't stand there and sulk like a five year old because Harry told Marge that they were friends!

 

What did you expect him to introduce you as? His boyfriend? His one true big love? His sadistic dominating ex? Be grateful he's still around.

 

'Nice to meet you Marge,' Louis told her dryly because yes, he was petty and selfish and hated being called "Harry's fucking friend!" Marge gave him a warm smile.

 

'Harry tells me you came down all the way from London for a visit,' Marge told him as she busied herself around the kitchen. 'You boys had breakfast yet?'

 

'We did Marge,' Harry told her.

 

'Yes,' Louis answered her question. 'We did and yeah I came down from London to visit my "friend",' he said, emphasizing the word friend and throwing a look at Harry. Harry looked down immediately. He knew that look. Was Louis mad at him? He fidgeted nervously with his fingers.

 

'You must be a pretty good friend to drive all the way down from London in this weather. Snow doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.'

 

'Anything for my "friend"', Louis said a little sarcastically giving Harry a cheesy smile. Harry bit his bottom lip hard. He had pissed Louis off!

 

'How long will you be staying dear?' Marge asked him conversationally. Louis rested his back against the counter, arms folded over his chest, his eyes fixed on Harry, never leaving him for a second and Harry was squirming beneath Louis' gaze. He had missed dominant Louis and here he was, right in his very kitchen, dominating him with just a look. Harry was used to this Louis. He knew this Louis. He had missed this Louis and he could deal with this Louis.

 

'Depends on Harry,' Louis told her, his eyes still stuck on him. Harry felt flustered and excited. Louis hadn't made him feel this way in ages and here he was making Harry submit to him with just his gaze, with those blue blue eyes and Harry found himself at his mercy, ready to fall at Louis' feet if he so much as demanded it.

 

'Harry?' Marge called to him when she saw him gazing at Louis as if he was about to pass out. Harry looked at Marge, his face beet red but not before seeing the smirk on Louis' face. Louis was well aware of what he did to Harry, the power he had over him.

 

'Um yeah we um I kinda wanted to um like ask you if its um....'

 

'Harry take a deep breath and stop stammering,' Louis cut him off sharply with his commanding tone. He loved how he could make Harry a mess! Marge looked from one to the other wondering what was going on and realizing instantly that they were more than just friends but she was too polite to intrude on their personal moment and ask. Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, relaxing himself as Louis had instructed.

 

'Marge would it um be alright if Louis and I took a road trip? We are just going to Doncaster. I don't know how long we'll be gone....'

 

'A day,' Louis cut him off. 'We will be back tonight. My business there shouldn't take more than a few hours.' Marge beamed at them, a huge smile on her face.

 

'Of course my dears. Off you go then and make sure you drive carefully in this snow. The roads are terrible.' Louis pulled himself off the counter and looked at his watch. It was nearing nine.

 

'We should leave soon Harry,' he told him quietly and Harry realized that dominant Louis was gone, replaced by the insecure, scared Louis. Harry nodded at him and together they walked out of the kitchen.

 

Ten minutes later, they were strapped in Louis' Range Rover. Harry sat in the passenger seat wrapped up in his thick coat and beanie as Louis pulled out of Harry's driveway and on to the street. Marge was at the door waving them goodbye. Louis made a left out of Harry's road and he headed out of town. He navigated the roads until he got on to the motorway, taking the M1 that would take them through Stockport, past the outskirts of Manchester, Rotherham then straight into Doncaster. They drove in silence, the silence feeling full and heavy between them, filling the car with unspoken words. Harry sat in his seat curled in upon himself, both his palms tucked in between his thighs to stop them from shaking and from Louis seeing them but Louis missed nothing when it came to Harry.

 

'Are you cold?' Louis asked him, making Harry jump. 'Do you want me to turn the heating up?' Harry shook his head.

 

'No. I-I'm fine.' Louis gave him a quick glance before returning his gaze to the motorway.

 

'You're trembling,' he pointed out. 'What's the matter?'

 

'Nothing,' Harry said softly as he looked out the car window. Louis sighed.

 

'Harry,' he said, his voice holding a subtle warning. 'Talk to me.' Harry turned his head slowly and looked at Louis, even though Louis kept his gaze ahead of him on the road.

 

'I'm...I'm just worried about you Lou. I-I know that this is a lot for you and I worry.' Louis gave Harry a small weak smile.

 

'Is my knight in shining armor backing out on me? I thought you wanted to fight my demons for me,' Louis told him in what he assumed was a joking voice but he knew that he sounded sad and weak and he hated it but it was okay because this was Harry and Harry was coming with him into hell. This was too much to put on Harry's shoulders, Louis knew that but it was the only way to free himself and be with Harry. Harry looked at him.

 

'I'm not backing out on you. I want to fight your demons for you and I will. I will be strong for you because I am strong Lou and I can do this,' Harry reassured him and Louis smiled sadly.

 

'I know you are strong. Your strength is amazing. You have survived eleven months of me and I'm telling you that is a lot of fucking strength. Don't cut yourself short. After all I put you through, you're a fucking superhero. My superhero,' Louis told him and Harry smiled a little at Louis' words and felt his cheeks heat up.

 

'I'm no superhero,' he admitted. 'I'm worried about you.'

 

'Superheroes worry about everyone. Why are you worried about me?' Louis asked him, his hands steady on the wheel.

 

'Because,' Harry told him slowly, 'I know you're scared.' Louis gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles popping out white from underneath his skin.

 

'I'm fine Harry,' he told him in between clenched teeth. 'I want to do this. I can do this. Have a little faith in me.' Harry looked down at his hands in his lap.

 

'I do have faith in you Lou,' he said sounding a little disappointed that Louis felt as if he had no faith in him. 'But are you really ready to do this or are you just doing it because you want me back? If you're too scared to do this and you're not ready, then don't just do it for me.' Harry raised his gaze and looked at Louis' profile. 'I'll come back Lou. I'll come back to you so just know that you don't have to do this.' Louis gave him a quick look, meeting his beautiful green eyes and smiled at him.

 

'I'm ready. Harry, I'm doing this for the both of us. We can't be together with all of this in between us. I'll be fine as long as you're with me,' Louis told him as he held out his hand for Harry and Harry took it, closing his long fingers around Louis' own.

 

'Always,' he told him and Louis squeezed his hand and took courage from the boy sitting next to him because if he was honest at least with himself, he was terrified and was having second thoughts but he would take courage and strength from Harry and go through with it if it was the last thing he did.

 

X

 

 

After an hour of driving, Louis pulled into a gas station that had a small cafeteria next to it. They were just outside Rotherham. He parked the car and killed the engine. He looked at Harry who was curled up in his seat.

 

'Want to stretch those legs a little and get a hot drink?' Louis asked him gently and Harry nodded. His legs were starting to cramp up. Louis got out of the car and opened the door for Harry, waiting for him as he stood upon shaky legs. Louis took his hand and Harry let him. They went inside the cafeteria and it was warm and smelled of coffee and baked goods. They sat in a booth next to the window that over looked the parking lot. The snow was still falling.

 

'What do you want love?' Louis asked him gently.

 

'Just tea,' Harry replied.

 

'You don't want anything to eat? They have pancakes.' Harry shook his head.

 

'I'm not hungry. Just a tea will do thank you.' Louis sighed internally. He could see that Harry was worried and he didn't know how he'd be by the time they left Doncaster again later in the evening. A waitress came over and took their order. They sat in silence and it wasn't the comfortable type.

 

'Harry,' Louis said softly. 'I know this is hard for you....' Harry looked up at him.

 

'This is not about me Lou. This is about you. I am worried about you. I can handle whatever it is that you are going to tell me but are you? Are you really ready to open up and tell me everything? I'm just worried you aren't and that you are doing it just for my sake.' Louis squeezed his hand.

 

'I'm not Harry. I'm doing this for me. Its about high time I did it. I want to free myself and yes to start fresh with you with no more secrets between us because if I don't do this and we turn back, go home and forget it, it will come back Harry and it will destroy everything between us. We can't be together unless I do this, so please all I need is your support yeah and if after I tell you all of it you want to end things with me, I will totally understand. I really want to do this, just please be with me through it.' Harry looked at him and saw the sincerity in his face and the sadness and fear in his eyes.

 

'Anything you need from me Lou. You have everything you need.'

 

 

x

 

 

After they drank their tea, they got back in the car and Louis commenced to drive towards Doncaster. Most of the drive was silent, neither of them up for any conversation. Louis turned on the radio low just to keep away the uncomfortable silence between them. They were both lost in their thoughts, bracing themselves on how to deal with the upcoming situation. Finally Harry spoke :

 

'Look,' he said pointing to a road sign. 'We are only three miles out of Doncaster. Nearly there.' Louis hummed but said nothing. He had seen the road signs announcing the remainder of the miles to their destination, watching the miles fall away and now with only three miles to go, he was losing his resolve. The fear inside him was growing, a fear that was eating away at him. Suddenly, he jerked the car to the right, car horns blaring at him as he pulled on to the shoulder of the road. Before Harry could ask him what the hell was the matter, Louis opened the car door and stumbled out, his legs barely able to hold him up. He stumbled to the side of the road and heaved up the contents of his stomach on the snowy bank. Harry was out of the car in a flash when he saw Louis doubled over, throwing up.

 

'Louis are you alright?' Harry asked him, his voice full of concern.

 

'Please go away,' Louis begged him as his stomach contracted painfully and he heaved again. He didn't want Harry to see him like this, so weak and so pitiful.

 

'I'm not leaving you alone,' Harry told him as he rubbed his back and Louis heaved again and again into the snow by the side of the road. 'It's alright Louis, let it all out,' Harry coaxed him gently and Louis closed his eyes as he painfully heaved up his empty stomach and his throat burned from the acid he was bringing up, the tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. When he had somewhat stopped heaving, Harry helped him straighten up and walked him back to the car. He rested him against the side and opened the back door of the car, pulling out a bottle of water and wet wipes. He unscrewed the bottle and handed it to Louis, who took a few gulps that soothed his burning throat. Harry wiped his face with a wet wipe that was cool against Louis' hot face.

 

'Are you alright?' Harry asked him gently, as he removed snowflakes from Louis' fringe. Louis gently pushed Harry off of him and turned away from him.

 

'I'm fine,' he snapped as he made his way towards the driver's seat. 'Get in the car.' Harry grabbed his arm gently and stopped him, pulling him round to face him. Louis did not meet his eyes. He couldn't.

 

'I know you are a prideful man Louis but don't do this! Do not push me away and pretend everything is alright. I can see its not so please please drop the front. Stop with the I'm fine when you are clearly not Louis. Remember, its me, just me and I love you,' Harry told him, moving closer to him and cupping his cheek in his cold hand. 'Its me Lou. You can let your guard down with me. Please let me in. Don't hold your walls up and hide behind them, leaving me out.' Harry stroked Louis' cheek with his thumb as he kept holding him, all the while watching the struggle on Louis' face. Finally, Louis sagged and looked up at Harry with glassy eyes.

 

'I'm fucking terrified,' he admitted in a small voice. 'I-I'm walking back into a fucking nightmare Harry and its real and I'm so scared,' he told him his voice cracking. Harry immediately pulled him into his chest, hugging him tightly. He placed a kiss on his temple.

 

'I'm not leaving you alone in this Louis. You got me and I got you baby. We can do this, together. I love you so much.' Louis fisted Harry's jacket and pulled him closer, burying himself in Harry's warm embrace, not wanting to leave the safety that Harry's body offered him.

 

'You are the light in my darkness Harry. I need you now more than ever,' Louis whispered and Harry kissed him again.

 

'I'll light your dark corners and I'll keep your demons away baby I swear.' Harry kissed him again and Louis pulled back giving Harry a small smile.

 

'I love you. C'mon, lets go. Let's do this,' he told him as he tugged on Harry's hand towards the car. They both got in, strapped their seat belts and Louis pulled out back on to the motorway, driving the last three miles head on to meet his horrific past once again.

 

 

X

 

 

The town of Doncaster was a typical Yorkshire town, quiet and quaint with beautiful semi-detached homes that had nice gardens, a busy town center and the huge Keepmoat Stadium, home to the Doncaster Rovers. Harry had never been to this side of England before even though it was quite close to Holmes Chapel. Harry took in the scenery as Louis drove through the town, past the football stadium and on to the outskirts of the small town. Harry could see how tense Louis was, his jaw clenched tight, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles protruded from beneath his skin. Harry did not miss the slight tremor going up Louis' arms or the way he chewed on his bottom lip or fidgeted with his hair. Ever so gently, Harry placed his hand on Louis' thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze just to remind him that it was okay and that he was there with him. If Louis had acknowledged Harry's touch, he didn't let on.

 

Finally, Louis slowed down as he indicated a left and turned into a cul de sac. Harry looked around and he could see that this cul de sac was made up of around twelve detached homes. They all looked deserted and broken down. The windows had no glass panes, only roughly boarded up with planks of wood and the doors hung on hinges, some of them slamming softly from the wind that had picked up. Harry could easily see that nobody lived here or had ever lived here for a very very long time. The houses were nothing more than shambles. Louis stopped the car in front of a house in particular but he did not look at it. He continued to grip the steering wheel, staring ahead, panting. As Harry looked around, he noticed that this was also a demolition site. He saw that there were a few hydraulic excavators around and also some backhoe loaders scattered around the cul de sac so work must be taking place in the area but he saw no workers. At the bottom of the cul de sac as they were coming up the road, Harry had noticed a small room that had been built for the manager, foreman and supervisors of this construction site but again, he hadn't seen a living soul. He was confused. What where they doing at a demolition site?

 

'Lou?' Harry called softly to Louis, trying to get his attention. He looked like he was ready to pass out. Louis did not answer him but simply rested his forehead on his knuckles that still gripped the steering wheel as if it was a life saver and took in deep breaths. Harry knew a panic attack when he saw one so he reached out softly and rubbed his back gently. 'It's alright baby,' Harry told him softly. 'Keep breathing. It will pass. Do you need anything?' Harry asked him.

 

'Give me a minute,' Louis replied, his voice choked up. They sat in silence, Louis resting his head on his hands trying to breathe while Harry simply rubbed his back soothing him. The car was warm and even though the snow was still falling, they were quite snug in Louis' Range Rover. Harry wanted so much to protect Louis from all this that he was going through. He wanted to stop all that was hurting him, the memories that were clearly killing him but Harry didn't know anything. He had to wait for Louis. Whatever Louis decided, Harry would comply to.

 

Louis raised his head slowly and looked at Harry and the expression on his face nearly broke Harry's heart. Harry knew that Louis was trying to be brave about this but Harry also knew that it was breaking him. Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'Let's do this,' he told him and without giving an other minute of thought, he opened the car door and stepped out on to the cracked pavement and faced the desolate house. Harry quickly scrambled out of the warm car into the cold frigid air and joined Louis on the sidewalk facing the house. Louis was staring at the run down structure with a mixture of terror and tears in his eyes. Harry took his hand and squeezed it gently. Louis began walking towards the house with no door and Harry tagged along beside him, letting Louis lead.

 

They stepped into the dark house which stank of mould and rotten wet wood and human waste. Harry could see that homeless people squatted here. There was trash everywhere, soiled mattresses, condoms, syringes but no people and for that Harry was glad. Louis stopped as he looked around with vacant eyes and Harry knew that Louis was seeing his past in this house as it had been rather than the house that was now. Louis began walking further into the house and stopped at the foot of the stairs leading up to the second floor. Harry could feel him tremble so he moved himself closer to Louis, letting him know that he was there right beside him.

 

Louis took in a deep shuddering breath and began to climb the stairs, each step creaking and protesting loudly under his feet. Harry climbed behind him, not letting go of his hand even though it was awkward to climb the narrow steps holding hands but Harry would not let go of him. He kept expecting the rotten stairs to give way beneath their weight and collapse. They emerged onto the landing that gave off four rooms, all without a door, exposing dark dank interiors. Harry could see the shapes of broken furniture still littering the rooms. Louis was staring into the room closest to the stairs and Harry heard him whimper softly. Harry moved closer to him, making him aware that he was beside him, keeping him grounded to the present and not letting him get lost in the past.

 

Louis took a few shaky steps and entered the small room, Harry following close behind. The room was empty save for the frame of an old rusty iron bed which had a dirty mattress on it, a broken chair, a dresser that no longer held any drawers and heaps of trash littering the floor. Louis stared with vacant eyes, shaking and lost inside his own mind. Harry kept holding his hand tightly and keeping himself as close to him as possible, waiting for him to say something. Louis gulped and wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand.

 

'This....' he said and his voice came out small and croaky. He cleared his throat which was dry and burned from having thrown up earlier. 'This...was the house I-I grew up in. This....' he paused and swallowed again, his voice very low. 'This used to be my room.' Harry froze beside him. He didn't say anything but remained stock still, feeling his blood turn to ice, feeling dread and fear pool in the bottom of his stomach. Louis cleared his throat again.

 

'I...I lived here with my parents. I...I had siblings,' he said quietly. Harry watched Louis' profile, his eyes fixed ahead lost in the memories he was bringing forth. 'I had a good life for a while. My mother, she was a nurse and my...my....' Louis stopped and licked his lips. He let go of Harry's hand and ran it through his hair.

 

'My father was an ex-military man. He had been a soldier ever since I could remember. When he was injured while serving in Afghanistan, he came home to stay and he was a stay home dad to me and my one year old sister Charlotte. My mother was pregnant at the time with the third child. We were a happy family until my eighth birthday. That's when the nightmare began.' He stopped again and took a few steps further into the room, looking around but not seeing anything because his mind was far away to the time when this room belonged to eight year old Louis. Harry remained as still as a statue, barely daring to breathe. Louis kept his back to him.

 

'I had just turned eight,' Louis continued, his voice low and unsteady. 'I was always a small boy for eight years old. My mum always tried to make me eat more so I'd grow she'd tell me but I never was a big eater. She used to call me her delicate petal.' Louis stopped and had to swallow hard against the lump in his throat. 'My father...he loved me, always called me his beautiful boy and I did everything to live up to his expectations of me. See, I was a bit of a child genius. By eight years old, I was very, very advanced in my education for primary school. I also knew that I preferred boys rather than girls at an early age and I never hid it from my parents. My father was always so proud of me. My mum was too but my father......' He stopped again and Harry saw him curl his fingers into fists.

 

'I still remember the first time he...he touched me,' Louis said very quietly. Harry felt the hair on his body stand up as he broke out in goosebumps all over. His stomach turned and he felt like it was his turn to throw up but he swallowed the bitter taste that filled his mouth. 'I was playing here in this very room and he called me downstairs for dinner,' Louis continued. 'Mum had left for work. She had been on the night shift that week. I hurried downstairs because I obeyed my father. He made my favorite : Spaghetti O's on toast. I sat at the table and he ruffled my hair and gave me my plate and a glass of milk then sat down and he continued to feed Charlotte who was in her highchair. When I was finished, he told me to clean the kitchen as he was going to put Lottie to bed and that when he came back down, if I wanted to, we could watch a Disney movie because he knew I loved Disney a lot so I said yes. I quickly cleaned up the kitchen making sure I left it spotless just like how he had always taught me to and when he came back down, we settled into the living room. He put the movie on and turned the lights off. He told me to sit on his lap.....' Louis stopped, his voice breaking.

 

'Lou,' Harry whispered, his own voice choked up from the lump in his throat. 'Lou you don't have to. Please Louis you don't have to. You can stop.' Louis shook his head.

 

'You wanted to know why I'm like this...who made me like this and I'm going to tell you....everything. And you are going to listen.' Harry wanted to scream at him to not continue, that he understood but he also knew that Louis needed to do this, to get it out, to tell him, to share this with him so Harry dug deep inside of him and clawed at the strength there praying that it was enough for the both of them. Louis wiped his eyes and took in a deep breath exhaling slowly.

 

'I settled comfortably on him as the movie started. Then I felt his hand slip down the front of my pyjama bottoms and into my underwear. He...he began to touch me...there, pulling and tugging and it hurt because it was getting hard and it hurt and I wanted him to stop. Like I told you, I was a child genius. I knew what he was doing and that it was wrong, that he shouldn't have been touching me there. I tried to move off of him as I was feeling him hard against my bum but he held me tighter pinning me to his chest. I began to cry but he whispered in my ear that daddy was going to make his beautiful little boy feel good and asked me if I was going to be his good little angel and make daddy proud. I wanted to make him proud of me but not like this. I cried harder as he kept touching me and I began to feel weird as he kept on whispering to be daddy's good little boy and kissing my hair until I felt something wet and warm seep from me and he kept making me a mess. I began to whimper and told him to please stop as it hurt and he kissed my hair again and told me that he was very proud of me and that I had done very good and that daddy loved me very much and that I was his special boy. Then he took me to the bathroom, cleaned me and tucked me into bed.' Harry was now fully silently crying, his heart breaking for his Louis. He wanted to go over to him and hold him but he couldn't move and he had no idea if Louis wanted to be touched at this moment. He watched him struggle and break right in front of him as he took in another deep breath preparing to tell him more. Harry braced himself.

 

'The next night, after dinner when mum had left for work and Lottie was in bed, he made me watch another movie while I sat in his lap again. I was scared and I didn't want to sit on him. He made me take off my pyjama bottoms and sit in just my undies. I began to cry again but he told me that daddy loves you and will never hurt you because you are daddy's special little boy so I let him sit me in his lap. He pulled himself out of his pants and I could feel him against my bum, so hard and big as he rubbed himself against me. I tried to get off him but he dug his fingers tightly in my thin thighs and told me to be a good little boy for daddy, to make daddy proud but I wanted to get off him and go to my room. I was crying harder but he ignored me. He held me so tight he was hurting me. I knew I would have bruises all over my thighs. He was breathing fast and groaning and pushing up against my bum. Then I felt something warm and sticky on me and he stopped moving. His grip on me eased and he kissed me behind my ear and kept saying my good little boy, I am so proud of you. I love you so much.' Louis stopped again and Harry could hear him sobbing softly. His own fingers ached because they were curled up so tightly and his short nails dug into his skin. He sniffed back the tears and snot that were falling. He saw Louis wipe his face with his hands and support himself against the dirty rotten wall.

 

'It continued like that for the rest of the week as it was the week my mum worked night shifts. The next night I begged mum to give me dinner before she left for work which she found rather weird but I told her I was starving which was weirder to her as like I said, I wasn't a big eater but she fed me anyway. When she was ready to leave for work and came to kiss me goodnight, I clung to her and wanted to beg her to stay with me, to not leave me with him but she had to work so after hugging me and calming me down, she left. I stayed up in my room that evening. I didn't want to go down there. Soon I heard him coming up the stairs and I felt my body freeze in fear. He opened my bedroom door and came in, smiling at me. He brought me milk and cookies and asked me how I was feeling as mum had told him that I wasn't feeling too well. I said I was fine so he urged me to eat my cookies and drink my milk, which I did. When I was done, he sat me on the bed and he sat next to me. He touched my skinny thighs and told me to lie back on the bed. I was scared and began to cry but he asked me if I was going to be a good boy or if I wanted daddy to punish me. I choked on my sobs and did as I was told. He parted my thighs and I sobbed daddy no but he slapped my thigh really really hard so much that I cried out really loudly but he told me to be quiet and be a good boy for daddy. He pulled down my pyjama pants and undies and touched me again, then he took me in his mouth. I struggled to move away from him but he punched me in the side of my head so hard that I almost blacked out. For a while I didn't see anything due from the force of the punch but I didn't want him to hit me again so I stayed really still while he sucked me off. When he was done, or so I thought that he was done, he pulled me to my feet and pulled me to him, hugging me tightly to him saying over and over how much he loved me. I was very dizzy and my head throbbed. All I wanted was my mum and to sleep but he pushed me down to my knees and made me suck him off. I didn't know what to do, he was too big to fit into my mouth. He got impatient so he grabbed the back of my head and he fucked my mouth, nearly choking me to death. I cried and gagged and couldn't breath but he was relentless until he came down my throat. When he pulled out, I vomited, throwing up all his cum. It was the first time he beat me with his belt. He pushed me face down into the bed, took off his belt and beat the shit out of me. He said good boys do not puke their daddy's cum.'

 

'Louis oh God Louis,' Harry sobbed as he cried hard. 'Louis I'm so sorry.' Harry wiped at his eyes because he couldn't see Louis through his blurry vision. 'Can I hold you please?' Harry asked him because he needed to feel him against him but Louis shook his head.

 

'No,' he croaked out. 'Stay right there. I'm not done.' Harry wanted to run out of this God forsaken house. He wanted to leave and run and run and run until he collapsed but he had promised Louis to be strong for him because Louis was falling apart and Harry had to hold his broken pieces and make him whole again when he was finished. They were silent for a while just their cries echoing in the dark, stinking empty room with the horrific memories still staining the walls and floors, rotten memories that were coming back to life for Louis. Finally, Louis continued :

 

'The next night, I stayed in my room under the blankets, not daring to move or even breathe. My ass hurt from the belt beating I got the night before but I stayed there not making a sound. After mum left, he came up with milk and cookies like the previous night. He stroked my hair and said he was sorry that he had used the belt on me and explained that I had been a naughty boy and that I needed to be disciplined and to obey him and be his good little boy. When I had finished my milk and cookies he told me to get into bed and that he would read me a story until I fell asleep. I felt relieved and I got into bed. He climbed in bed with me, spooning me and he kissed the top of my head, told me to close my eyes as he began to tell me a story. I sighed and relaxed and began to drift into sleep but I was suddenly jolted awake when I felt his hand slip inside my undies and he cupped my bum, kneading it. Then he touched my hole. I felt panic and I struggled hard to get away from him but he held me tightly to his chest and warned me that if I did not behave I would get another beating. He pushed his knee between my thighs to keep them open and began to push his finger inside of me. I screamed and struggled to get away but I was small and he was big and it was all useless. I begged him to stop, that he was hurting me but he just put a hand over my mouth and just plunged his thick finger inside of me. The pain was excruciating but he continued to finger me as I sobbed and he continued to tell me my bedtime story. When he was done, he praised me and kissed me and told me that he loved me and that he was very proud of me. He left my room and I fell asleep crying and in immense pain. The next night, was the night he fucked me raw and that was how my mum found me when she returned from work in the morning; naked on my bedroom floor, bleeding heavily from my ass. When she saw me like that, she went crazy. She began to scream and cry. She wanted to hold me but I had so many bruises on my small body that she didn't dare put her hands on me. His disgusting hands were bruised all over me, on my thighs, on my hips, on my bum, on my chest...everywhere his fingers were bruised on me. Eventually, she being a nurse knew what had happened and treated my wounds as gently as she could given the state I was in, all the time she was crying and whispering my precious little boy, my petal. I had to stay off school for a while as I ached all over and couldn't sit down. That was also the day I had stopped talking. I never uttered another word again to anyone not even to my mum. When he came home later that day, she confronted him and he never even denied it. They had a big fight and he smacked her around even though she was five months pregnant. He warned her that if she said anything to anyone or tried to stop him, they would find me in a dumpster with my throat slit.' Louis paused again as he recollected his memories.

 

'Things went worse from then on. The next night, my mum didn't go to work so she could look after me and when he came for me, she stood up for me and told him that I was hurt and that he shouldn't touch me. I heard them fight and I heard him slapping her. My baby sister was crying and I knew I needed to help my mother. I couldn't let him beat her because she was protecting me yet what could I do? I was tiny and I could hardly walk but I got up and went into their room. When he saw me, he seemed to get madder. He lunged for me but mum, she pulled him back and he smacked her hard. She fell to the floor and he straddled her. I was crying but no sound came out of my mouth. He kept yelling at her and yelling at me. Next thing I know he was about ready to rape my mum and she was crying and begging him not to, not in front of me. She was crying to me "honey close your eyes sweetie don't look baby" but he told me that if I looked away or shut my eyes, he would snap her neck so I had no other choice but to watch him rape my mother since he couldn't rape me. When he was done with her, he left her there on the floor and he went out. I went to help her but she kept telling me "its okay baby mummy's okay sweetheart" but I knew she wasn't. I left her room and went to pick up my baby sister because she was crying. I soothed her until mum came in the nursery, showered and clean and hugged us both tightly to her but she wouldn't stop crying. Things never got better in our house. He continued to fuck me every few nights during the week. I was terrified every time I'd hear him coming up the stairs, stomping with those army boots of his and he'd just come into my room and do whatever he wanted with me. It was very painful but at least he left my mum alone. If he had me, he wouldn't touch her. He would promise to leave her alone if I was a good boy for daddy and do whatever daddy told me to do. So I was good. I never cried out or made any noise. I always stayed very still for him and I just thought of something else. I thought of school and the essay I still had to hand in. I thought of things I wanted to become when I grew up. I always wanted to get a good job so I could get my mum, my sister and the new baby away from him, buy them a big house and keep them safe. When he'd finish with me, he always kissed my hair and told me he loved me and that I was his best boy and that he was very proud of me.'

 

By now Harry was a mess. Crying hysterically, the pain inside of him for Louis overpowering him and almost swallowing him whole. He had no words of comfort to offer Louis because what could he possibly say to make any of this better for his beautiful man? He heard Louis sniff and shuffle in the room.

 

'You would think that that would be the worst that my life could get, but in fact it got even worse. So much worse. A few weeks after the abuse started, he brought home with him a friend who had been with him in the army. They talked in the kitchen. Mum had been out grocery shopping with my little sister and I had just gotten back from school and was in my room doing my homework. Dad brought his friend up to my room and asked me if I would be a good boy for his friend. I began shaking my head and curled up in the corner of my room, my knees to my chest but dad grabbed my ankles and pulled me out of my safety corner. He slapped me for being rude to his friend and told me to undress but I didn't. He smacked me again and again as his friend watched. He ripped my uniform into pieces until I was naked. I struggled and fought as much as I could but he pushed me face down on the bed and held me down for his friend. His friend made fun of me because I didn't speak. He called a mute and simple and a retard while fucking me. After that, a string of his friends started visiting our house. I struggled as much as I could to keep them off of me but they were bigger and stronger. But then my father had the idea of tying me down to the bed for them so he got handcuffs and cuffed my wrists and ankles to the bed. Sometimes he beat me with the belt when I wasn't a good boy for daddy's friends and embarrassing him. He made them pay for me you know. My dear father was whoring his only son to his friends. For a full fuck he charged them twenty pounds, ten for just a blow job and he offered them a discount: twenty five pounds if they took the whole package. That was all I was worth. I couldn't do anything. Sometimes I had three of his friends a night, sometimes one. When no friends of his came, he would take his frustrations out on me himself. But he stayed away from my mum and I just lay there and let them do their business while I fisted the sheets in my hands and thought of beautiful far away places.'

 

'Eventually time began passing. My mother gave birth to another girl, Felicite. I loved my sisters so much and I loved going into their nursery to get away from my horrible room that smelled of dirty men and cum. The abuse continued. Dad kept making money by whoring me out but he was happy and he left my mum alone. He threatened her continuously though that if she ever opened her mouth he would kill me. So things carried on much as they were. By the time I was thirteen, I had four sisters, Charlotte who was was six, Felicite was five, Phoebe and Daisy the twins were three and my mother was pregnant with twins again. Yeah he always made sure to emphasize his presence as the man of the house by getting my mother pregnant. I thank God they were all girls because he was good to them. He took great care of them and never abused them. I have to give him credit for that. I'm not sure what I would have done if my mother had had another boy. The girls all doted on him and he played with them and took them to school, helped them with their homework, took them to dance lessons and for play dates. I was the only one who saw the monster he truly was and I could do nothing about it unless I wanted to see my mother hurt. The saddest thing about this whole horror story was that he wasn't a drunk or a drug user. I couldn't blame it on the alcohol or the drugs for what he did tome. No. It was just him. All him and that made it worse.'

 

There was a few moments of silence where only Harry's soft sobs could be heard and the wind outside as flurries of snow cascaded through the square open hole that once used to be the window of little Louis' room. Well not room, Harry thought to himself. He realized then that he was standing in what had been Louis' private hell. What was supposed to have been a child's room, a safe space for a little child to grow up in, this had been Louis' prison, his room of torture. Harry shuddered and it wasn't from the cold. He heard Louis take in a long deep breath and saw him exhale, a puff of white in front of his face.

 

'One evening, the fighting between him and my mum got bad. She was seven months pregnant with the twins and they were having another fight. She had never stopped fighting with him since the day she had found me on my bedroom floor. She only stayed with him because he threatened my life and mum loved me too much to jeopardize my safety. She loved me fiercely like I loved her. I could've run away. I could've sought help but I was afraid for her. He would've killed her for sure so I stayed put. At least mum and I were together and we had each other and I helped her with the girls. I loved them so much. I loved playing with them and helping mum take care of them. She worked so hard for us. Anyway, the fight that night got really bad and he was slapping her around on the landing just outside my bedroom. Even though I was thirteen I was still thin and scrawny and not very tall....easy to manhandle as he used to tell me. When I heard her cry and scream, I had to help her. I just couldn't let him beat her. He was hurting her and those babies inside her....no I couldn't. We had been doing construction at school, building wooden things so I grabbed my screwdriver and without further hesitation, I opened my door and he had his back to me. When he heard my door open, he turned and hit me hard, sending me flying back into my room. My mum tried to pull him away from me but he slapped her hard and she fell down the stairs. I got up and without further thought, driven by the anger inside of me, I drove the screwdriver deep into his kidney, repeatedly. Hard and repeatedly. Deep. The handle of the screwdriver became slippery with blood but I couldn't stop stabbing him. I only stopped because he fell, his eyes wide, holding his bleeding side. I stepped over him and ran down the stairs to where my mum was a crumpled heap. She was alive but unconscious. I touched her stomach and I could feel them move. My sisters were crying and screaming in their room and it was crazy. I picked up the phone and dialed the emergency number my mum always left on the fridge. I only said "hurry" into the phone because I knew they traced the calls. Shortly afterwards, the house was swarming with paramedics and police officers. I saw them haul my unconscious mother into the ambulance. I saw social workers take my screaming sisters as they made grabby hands for me calling out "Boo.Boo." Its what they used to call me, the little ones. I just stood there, shocked, covered in his blood and watched them take him out trying to save his life and I prayed to God so hard that he would die.'

 

'I can vaguely remember being put in the back of a police car. Calling emergency was the first word I had uttered in five years and I wasn't going to utter another one. The police kept asking me what had happened but I just locked myself away inside of me. All I wanted was to know that my mother, my sisters and the unborn twins would be alright but they never told me anything. They took me to the police station where a social worker sat with me and asked me endless questions but I just couldn't speak to her. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth I would break and I was broken enough to not be broken anymore. They took me to juvie where I would spend the next five years. While there I had been informed that my father had survived the attack but lost a kidney. Such a small price to pay for all the damage that he had done. They had also informed me that my four sisters had been put in foster care and that my mother was in a coma and paralyzed from the fall. They informed me that my father will be taken to court when he is physically better and charged with assault. They asked me to give a statement of what had happened in the house. My therapist had been informing them of my progress which had been nothing really as I wouldn't talk to anyone. I was then asked if I would write a detailed report of all that happened and after some thought and advice from my therapist, I agreed. I was put to a computer and I typed out a detailed report of all that had happened in my house for the past five years. Yes, I was going to expose myself but that would be closed records since I was a minor and because I was a minor, I didn't need to appear in court or even have my name mentioned. I knew all of this. I was a child genius. With the details of my report, he got thirty years without parole. As did some of his friends. Those that I remembered at least. There had been too many for me to remember them all.'

 

'Life in juvie wasn't easy. I was bullied mercilessly. I was beaten sometimes too by the other kids. I was in there because I had committed a crime as where the others but I kept to myself. They called me all sorts of things. I was small and didn't talk so that was cause enough for bullying. I studied hard while I was in there. Not that I needed to. By the age of fourteen, I was ready for Uni. I knew I was good in languages and technology and sciences and mathematics. I had plans for myself. I wasn't going to let him take this all away from me. He had taken enough already. He took my body, my soul, my mother and my siblings and left me with nothing. I was determined to make something of myself. However, when I turned eighteen and was free of juvie, life outside wasn't as I had imagined it to be. I had no family. No money. No home. I had nothing at all save for a small bag with a few items I had been given through social workers, like a change of clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste and my personal documents. I wandered round the streets of Doncaster with nowhere to go. I was eighteen, an adult and I had nothing and no one. I decided to leave Doncaster as I was not going to achieve anything here. I had no money for a train ticket or food so I decided to hitch a ride. I began walking along the motorway hoping somebody would stop and give me a ride. After I had walked for about two miles, a lorry stopped and asked me where I was headed. I showed him a piece of paper that said London on it but he told me that he was going as far as Birmingham but I accepted the ride. I hopped in and was thankful to sit for a while in the warmth of the cab. I sat as far away from him as the cab allowed. I didn't trust anyone and I feared everyone. The guy turned out to be decent though and he offered me a cup of coffee from his thermos and a sandwich which I gladly accepted. I was starving. After I ate, I slept the rest of the way. Eventually, I made it to London and I didn't know what I expected but it was tough. I was homeless. I slept under bridges and in parks. I ate whatever I could find from dumpsters. This was not the life I wanted to live. I thought of my mother and my sisters, wondering what had happened to them, where were they. It had been five years and I never heard a word about them. I wanted to make a life for myself with the hope of finding them and giving them a home together with mum...just us but I couldn't. I had nothing. That's when I realized I wanted to end my life. That evening I decided I would do it. I would end this miserable existence that I was living. I didn't know how I was going to do it yet but I was determined to do it. That evening I was strolling the streets looking for something to eat when this car pulled up and this man offered to pay me ten pounds for a blow job. I ignored him and walked away but he kept driving slow and urging me on. I was hungry and I needed money. I was mentally deciding what to do : go ahead and kill myself because I had nothing or earn a tenner and go get a McDonalds and think on what to do next. My stomach growled. I hadn't eaten for days so I got in the car because my mind was still intent on getting my family back together and if it meant blow jobbing my way to get there, then I was going to do it. I had been forced to do it plenty of times for free to my dad and his friends so why not do it for money? He parked the car in a remote area, looked at me and told me to get to work. I felt disgusted and humiliated but I unzipped him and took him in my mouth. I nearly puked a few times but I sucked him off till he came in my mouth. He gave me the tenner and told me to get lost. I stepped out of the car feeling ashamed but I had a tenner and that night, I got a decent meal and a hot drink.'

 

'After that first time, I got into it. I gave blow jobs for money. I never went further though. It was just blow jobs. There was no way I was ever going to let anyone touch me. No way in hell that I was ever going to let somebody fuck me but blow jobs, I could stomach them. Sometimes I had five guys a night which earned me fifty quid. I ate just a little and saved the rest. I had plans to get a degree online and I needed money to go to the internet cafes and study for the degrees I wanted. They were not cheap but I was determined to get there. I figured that as soon as I got my degrees, I would get a good decent job and a small place of my own and then try to get my family back together again. A few nights later, I was walking through the red light district looking for customers. I didn't know where I was going or how to do this. I just wandered around and I ended up lost in the back streets. As I was looking for a way out a man cornered me and he began saying things to me, calling me pretty boy and how he was going to fuck me raw. I felt terrified and backed myself into a corner of the alleyway I was in. He advanced on me already unbuckling his belt. I wanted to scream because I knew what was coming. I wanted to run but I was frozen to the spot from fear. I slid down the wall and curled myself into a tight ball, covering my head with my hands hoping he won't see me and maybe he would go away. I wanted to find my voice, to tell him not to touch me, to please leave me alone and not hurt me but I only uttered two words : "please no". I felt him grab my arm and haul me up but I couldn't stand. My legs wouldn't hold me up. Just then I heard another man's voice that was telling him to leave me alone. He let go of my arm and I fell into a heap on the ground. I don't know what happened after that because I was too caught up in fear to realize what was going on around me but I felt a soft hand land on my shoulder and I jerked away. This new person was whispering to me that it was alright and that the man was now gone and it was okay but he didn't know that it was not okay and that it was never going to be okay. I was trembling and shaking and he was asking me questions which I wasn't even hearing. All I knew was that I was swallowed up by immense fear. Eventually, I raised my head and saw this young man in front of me who introduced himself as Adam, yes the same Adam that part owns Garland's with me. He helped me up and asked me if I was hurt but I shook my head no. Then he asked me if he could accompany home but when I didn't say anything, it was then he realized that I was homeless and that I didn't speak. He told me to follow him and even though I didn't know him, I followed him because I wanted to get out of here. We walked a few streets away and finally stopped in front of a flat and he unlocked a door and motioned for me to go in. He sat me down in his kitchen and gave me a hot meal and tea. Then he told me to take a bath and he gave me fresh clothes. I was so thankful I wanted to cry and hug him. To receive kindness like that when you most need it is an amazing thing. He told me that he worked as a prostitute at a place called "Red Light Secrets" and asked me what I was doing wandering the red light district. I had to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him because he was so kind to me so I did. My throat was so hoarse from misuse and it hurt to talk. When my voice came out it was weak and soft and very low. I had forgotten the sound of my own voice and I hated it because it reminded me of how many times I had screamed and begged and called out stop and no to my father and his friends. But I talked. I talked to Adam. I didn't tell him my life story. I only told him that I was homeless and what I was doing to earn money and that I planned on getting a degree. He listened to me even though the look on his face was skeptical. Maybe he had heard it all before and seen too many people fail and lose themselves in their broken dreams but nonetheless he listened patiently and decided to help me. He told me I could stay with him for a while until I got back up on my feet and told me that if I upgraded from just giving blow jobs and go work at "Red Light Secrets", I would earn a whole lot more money. I told him there was no way I was going to be a prostitute and be fucked. He smiled and told me that first off I was already whoring myself by letting men fuck my mouth and second of all he told me that I didn't need to be fucked, that I could do the fucking because many men were only bottoms and needed tops. He told me I could be a top whore! He told me that men paid good money for tops. He said I could earn over a hundred pound for just one fuck because tops were in high demand. He laughed and said it was easy to be a bottom and just be fucked but to be a top and do the fucking, giving your client a huge orgasm that they paid for was a skill. I began calculating in my head. If I fucked three men a night it would be over three hundred quid and that would get me my own personal laptop in just two days. I calculated how much study I could do and how I could get my own place and get my degree. I could get my family back together. Then I thought about how I would have to fuck men in order to get there. Was it worth it being a whore to get my life back together and get my mother and siblings back? I looked at Adam and agreed.'

 

Again Louis paused. He felt exhausted and mentally drained. He was cold and numb and he just wanted to go to Harry's warm home with the beautiful Christmas tree and away from here. He wanted Harry to hold him but he couldn't allow that. Not yet. If he felt Harry's arms around him now, he would succumb to the fear and pain and break before he finished his story. He will break later. He will let all of these memories that he had brought back from the dead, drag him to hell but not until he told Harry everything. He owed him so much and this was only the beginning.

 

'And so I started my career as a professional whore. Adam taught me many things about the trade and I was a quick learner. He always taught me that safety was first and to always use a condom and that if I ever get a bad feeling about a client, I should refuse. Adam bought me a cheap mobile phone and put his number in for me to always let him know I was alright. He let me stay with him and told me that yes I could have clients over as long as I did my share of housekeeping and groceries. I was still taciturn. I didn't like to speak much and my clients seemed to like the mystery that was Louis Tomlinson though I never gave out my real name to them. Adam always called me Tommo so that was my whore name. I had lots of clients. I was young, pretty and a dominating top. I was easily making six hundred quid a night, more if I wanted to but I limited myself to six fucks a night. By the end of my first two weeks as a whore, I moved a tiny apartment in a shabby part of London. It wasn't much but it was my home. By the fourth week, I bought a laptop. By day I studied and worked by night. I fucked hard but it was disgusting and it made me sick and I hated that my body responded to these men and that I came hard inside of them but it was a small price to pay to work towards my goal : my family. I wanted them back and I was going to do anything to get them back and give them the life we had all been deprived of. I made it my mission to become the man of our family and take care of my mother, get her all the medical care she needed for her paralysis and take care of six kids. Yes, I needed lots of money and whoring got me that money. There was no time to feel disgusted and sorry for myself. There was no time to puke after each fuck or to scrub my body with a brush and scalding water to get them off of me. There was no time for crying myself to sleep every night. There was no time for anything but working on getting my family back together.'

 

'I was angry and hurt and I knew I needed help mentally. The nightmares kept me awake and I was tired. I had no outlet for my anger. It was all inside me building and growing. My hatred towards him was consuming me, eating me up alive. One day, I had a new client. He was in his early thirties and quite handsome. He was quiet and a little shy when he asked me if I could perhaps tie him up and beat him with a belt before fucking him and that he would pay me extra for it. A wave of memories came to me and I nearly beat the shit out of him for free. Memories of myself being tied down, hit with a belt and fucked so fiercely that I passed out. He told me was willing to pay three hundred pounds when he saw me hesitate and I agreed. No time to think about my issues. It was just a job. I had no emotions towards these men, no feelings whatsoever. Every time I had a client, I switched off any human emotions inside of me and I just did my job. I tied him face down on my bed, bent at the waist. I took his belt and I lost myself beating the shit out of him and God it felt good. I felt free and I was lashing out my anger for my father and for all of his friends who had done this to me. With every blow I landed on him, I felt as if I was beating them, paying them back for what they had done to me. For the first time in my life, I felt the anger in me lift. I fucked him hard as he wanted, holding him down and when he told me to stop, I only fucked him harder until I was done. After that, I got addicted to it and many of my clients were up for it when I suggested it. I became more confident in my job and I was making good money. I kept on studying and I got my degrees. I began looking into possible jobs, something with engineering and technology. I was good with computers but it wasn't easy to find a company that would take a newbie like me. I didn't have a lot of credentials and no experience in work and that was against me. I was getting depressed because I had come this far and I still couldn't achieve what I had been aiming for. I wanted to stop whoring myself and I wanted a good job. By now I was twenty and I needed to get my family back. I was becoming desperate and the need to kill myself was once again growing inside of me and many times I drowned myself in alcohol to stop the pain of the memories. What kept me going was the voice in my head that resembled that of my father. The voice telling me that I wouldn't amount to anything, that I was a failure, good for nothing but fucking men and whoring myself. It was his voice I head telling me that my family was all gone and that I had nobody and that nobody would want a sleazy boy like me who let his father and his friends fuck him hard. That voice spurred me on, only making me even more determined to get what I want, to aim high and not give up. The prize? My mothers and six siblings. I discarded my suicidal thoughts but not the alcohol. It was what got me through the hardest days. Drinking myself into oblivion.'

 

'One day I got the break that I didn't even know I wanted. I was out applying for jobs and walking around from one company to another. I was passing by the docks and its not a very nice area over there and I noticed this expensive Bentley just under the bridge. The hood was popped open and the chauffeur was looking at the engine. He looked lost so I approached him and I could see the alarm on his face because I must've looked like a thug to him who was going to rob him. I told him as politely as I could that that was a computerized car and that it was useless for him looking under the hood. I told him that I could help him fix the car. While I was talking to him, the back door opened and an elderly gentleman stepped out. He was in his sixties and tall. Very tall and dressed in a dark suit. He looked very smart with his closely shaved white hair and white goatee. He pinned me with his gaze and I could feel him scrutinizing me. He asked me if I could truly fix his car and I said I truly could. He nodded towards his chauffeur and he opened the driver's side for me. I slid in and began working on the computerized mechanisms of the car and I got the engine started but told him that he should get it seen to because the computers needed upgrading. He thanked me and before I left he handed me his card and told me to drop by his company. When they had driven off, I looked down at the card. "Lord Oscar Fairchild" it read. His company, Fairchild Industries was a company that provided technological and engineering help for web designing companies. This company also did offshore computing and engineering. This was right up my alley. The job I wanted and needed. I decided to pay Lord Fairchild a visit the next day but didn't want to get my hopes up.'

 

'The next day I went to Fairchild dressed in a suit that I had bought the previous day. I wanted this job badly and I wanted to make an impression on Lord Oscar. Whatever it took, I was going to get this job. It was the ticket to get my family back. His building was impressive and I felt intimidated the moment I stepped into the foyer. The receptionist there told me to go up to the fifteenth floor and ask for Human Resources. I wasn't here to just drop my CV. I needed to see Lord Oscar. I decided to break the rules and go straight to his floor. The receptionist there was surprised to see me. Apparently people like me where not allowed on that floor but I told her that Lord Oscar knows me and had told me to come by. I knew she didn't believe me but I was going to beg and grovel if it was the last thing I was going to do. Eventually, when she saw that she wasn't going to get rid of me, she called Lord Oscar's secretary and after a while a woman came into reception and asked me to follow her. I did and she took me to Lord Oscar. From the moment I stepped into his office, he changed my life and made me what I am today. He took me under his wing and taught me the business. He told me that he saw a lot of potential and determination in me and he was never wrong about a person and I proved him right. Lord Oscar was not married and he treated me as the son he never had. In a year, I had made his company a million in profits. By the second year, when I was twenty two, I made my very own first million. He helped me branch out. He helped me start up TGE. He was my mentor, my friend, the father figure I never had. I became very close to Oscar and I told him most of my story. He never judged me on my decisions. When my company took off and I was financially stable, I discussed my plan about searching for my family with Lord Oscar. He said that he would help me and put me in touch with his own man, Morrison. He told me that I could trust him and rely on him and I did. I gave him as much information as I could without going into depth about my childhood life even though he would find something regarding what happened. Within a month, Morrison had found my family.'

 

Louis stopped as he heard Harry gasp and choke out a strangled sob.

 

'My mother was in a state home, cared for by the state. It was a miserable place. He told me that she was paralyzed from the neck down but otherwise healthy. She had had the twins after being admitted into hospital after the fall. They had been prematurely born. A boy and a girl. I was so chuffed that I had a little brother. Both babies had been adopted when they were six months old. They live in Brighton with their adoptive parents. They are called Doris and Ernest Smalls. They are eighteen now. Charlotte and Felicite were adopted together by a couple in Scotland. Their surname is MacMillan. Today Charlotte is twenty four and Felicite is twenty three. Phoebe and Daisy were also adopted and live in Newcastle. They go by Phoebe and Daisy Carr. Today they are twenty one years old. The first thing I did was go to meet my mother. She was overjoyed to see me and we cried together and she kept telling me how sorry she was that she couldn't protect me but I told her not to worry about that now. I got her out of that home and bought her a nice big house in Richmond. Its beautiful there and relaxing. I got her carers to look after her and Lord Oscar gave me the names of good doctors that could help her. Today, she is still paralyzed but she can move her neck and her arms. We are working on her legs now. The doctor is hopeful that she will walk. I haven't met my sisters and brother yet because mum told me not to disturb their lives yet. See, when Morrison found them eight years ago, they were still kids, young kids and I wasn't able to look after them just yet and my mum was still undergoing operations. However, I provided them with financial support. I made a trust fund for each of them, keeping myself anonymous. I told my lawyer to tell their families that the money was coming from a relative but to not tell them anything. I took care of their education and well being, making sure that they had enough money to live comfortably. I didn't want them to suffer. Charlotte has her own make up line. Felicitie is a teacher. Phoebe and Daisy are at University and Doris and Ernest are in College. One day, I will bring them all together to meet us. They don't even know about each other. They do know that they are adopted and that they are siblings to each other but none of them know that they have other siblings or a mother or.....me. They don't know so I have to be cautious in bringing them together.'

 

'I continued to work hard and make millions though I was far form healed. I was still fucked up pretty bad. The voice in my head still taunted me. I still had nightmares, waking up screaming in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. I still needed to beat the living shit out of men and fuck them hard because it was the only thing that eased off my anger and my pain. It was round about that time that I started seeing Anthony. He diagnosed me with depression and bipolarism. He told me that I was suffering from PTSD, that childhood fears and trauma where resistant to adult logic which was why as an adult I was still suffering what had been done to me as a child. He gave me medications and I began to function a little better. I had the best doctors for my mother and we became very close. My mum and I....that bond we had when I was a child, was still there and over the years it has become stronger. My mother is everything to me. For a while, we were a family : me, my mum and Lord Oscar. However, when I was twenty nine and almost a billionaire, Lord Oscar passed away. His death devastated me and I took it really hard as did my mother. I gave him the best funeral I could. I was stunned to know that he left me as major share holder of Fairchild Industries. He only had two brothers, Charles and Edgar and he left them twenty percent each of the company, leaving me with sixty percent of it. In the will he stated that should either of the brothers pass away, their shares would be transferred to me. I left the brothers to continue running the company as they saw fit and I was the silent partner, only there to sign papers. I let them make decisions regarding on what they saw fit and I just complied to them. By thirty, I am what you see today.'

 

The room went silent, just the howling of the wind outside and far away echos of a crying abused child and a family torn apart by a monster that was supposed to protect them but instead hurt them in ways that scarred them for life. Harry couldn't beginning to imagine the torment Louis had been through, all the abuse, the rapes, the beatings at the hands of his own father and Harry couldn't imagine what his mother had gone through watching her little boy endure all this and powerless to help him. Harry's heart broke into a million fragment. He heard Louis breathe softly.

 

'That is why that night I beat you and raped you,' Louis told him quietly. 'You said "I love you" to me and those were the words he always said to me. Nobody ever said them to me before you did and I never said them to anyone before you. Nobody, so when I heard them, they triggered me. They stirred something in me and I didn't see reason. I didn't see you. I was lost back here, in this very room, with him. I can never apologize enough to you for what I did to you. I hope that now you understand why I got mad at you when you thought I was treating you like a whore or thought yourself to be my whore. I would never do that to you or let you think that about yourself because I know what its like to be a whore, to sell your body for money, to let them do whatever they wanted. They buy you with money and I never did that to you Harry. I never bought sex from you. It hurt me deeply that you thought that of me or felt like I was treating you as such because I know better than to treat anyone that way. You were...are my first real love. You made me feel what true love is really like. I've never fallen in love with anyone before but with you...' he paused and chuckled. 'I didn't fall Harry. I crashed into love with you. I had no idea what love making was until I met you. I never made love before I met you. I just fucked them because they paid me to but what you gave to me was the beautiful gift of love. You taught me how to feel, you gave me emotions, you taught me acceptance and kindness, selflessness and a sense of peace and serenity. I am so sorry I'm too fucked up for you....'

 

'No,' Harry whispered brokenly. Louis walked over to him and stood before him.

 

'This is all of me Harry. There is nothing else. I gave you everything inside of me and I'm sorry if my story hurt you and made you sad. You wanted control over me, well now you have it. You wanted to see me vulnerable, well I can't get any more vulnerable than I am now. I showed you and gave you all of me and I understand if you don't want any of it but thank you for giving me the chance to unburden my soul to you. Please don't cry. Come, let's go. I need to show you one last thing before we leave.' Harry nodded because he couldn't speak. Louis' story had rattled him to the core and now he understood everything. Everything made sense now. Louis took one last look around his childhood home and walked out, Harry following closely. As soon as they stepped outside into the cold wind and snow, they both took in a few deep breaths, getting rid of the rancid smell of that decaying evil house. Louis did not look at Harry but commenced to walk towards the entrance of the cul de sac where Harry had seen the tiny room that belonged to the manager of this construction site. When they got there, Louis opened the door and entered, Harry following him inside not sure what they were doing in here. The room was well furnished and it was clean so Harry figured that it was in use. Louis sat down heavily on the chair behind the desk and motioned for Harry to sit opposite him. Harry sat and looked at Louis waiting for him to explain what they were doing in here. Louis licked his lips.

 

'This whole area of derelict houses belong to me. I bought the estate years ago. After what had happened here, some of the families left. When I began to earn money, I bought the rest of the families out of their homes, paying them good money for their houses. I don't know why I bought all of it. I guess I just didn't want people around here especially if they had kids. The house I grew up in is a bad place and I just didn't want anyone near it. However, I always wanted to make something of it and give back to the kids of Doncaster. Just because I got out of here and made it doesn't mean that others have. There are still kids who suffer and I don't feel there is enough help for them. So I came up with this idea.' Louis paused and reached for a roll of paper and as he unfolded them on the desk, Harry could see that they were blue prints.

 

'I had an architect draw up these blue prints for me a few years back but I never got round to developing this idea. As you can see, this is the whole of the cul de sac that we are at. Once all the houses are demolished, construction will begin on what will become the Doncaster Recovery and Alteration Center for kids There will be six large buildings onsite. These buildings will house a juvenile center, a health center, a shelter for homeless kids, a recreation and rehabilitation center, a drug detox center, counselling and a cancer center for kids. Here kids will be rehabilitated, given a home, they will have therapy, tutoring, taught a skill and sports. There will also be a sports center, a library and a computer lab. All this will be free for the kids of Doncaster because I will be funding all of it. There are too many kids and teens leaving home or getting kicked out and living on the streets, abused kids who come from broken homes, sick kids and kids with addictions that are killing them. Gay kids who are not accepted by their families and thrown out of the house. Kids that are exploited and used for prostitution. I want to make it possible for them to be safe and healthy and taken care of so they won't end up dead in some gutter or prostituting themselves to make money. I want them to have a safe enviornment to go to when things get bad for them. I don't want them to suffer like I did. The Doncaster police have approved of this and are willing to help out. I will also be arranging for a permanent medical team to be on the premises at all times, psychiatrists and therapists too. These kids deserve a chance in life and I want to give it to them.' Louis stopped and looked at Harry as if for approval but Harry was speechless, crying silently and looking at the amazing man before him. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'Also, there was one thing I wanted to run by you. The cancer center, I wish to name it after your mother if you agree. I want to call it The Anne Styles Cancer Facility. She deserves to be commemorated and I thought this would be perfect.' When Harry heard this, his mouth dropped open and he made a sobbing choking sound. He covered his face and cried in his hands. Louis got up and placed his hand on Harry's shoulder.

 

'Its alright if you don't want ......' but Harry got up and hugged him tightly, sobbing hard in Louis' neck.

 

'She...she w-would l-love it,' he croaked out. 'T-thank you.' Louis rubbed his back and stepped back from the embrace. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. When his call was picked up, he said :

 

'We are ready thank you.' And hung up. Then he turned to Harry who was a crying mess. 'Come on. One last thing.'

 

As they stepped back outside, Harry noticed that there were workers on the site now. A man in a suit approached Louis and shook his hand.

 

'At your word Sir,' the man told him and Louis nodded. He looked at Harry.

 

'I have waited for this day for a very long time but I never had the guts to do it until you came along. This is me letting go of my past, breaking my chains and stepping into my future and its all thanks to you. You gave me the strength and courage I needed to do this.' Then he turned to the man and said : 'Do it.'

 

The man took out a walkie talkie and pressed the button on it. 'Good to go Joe. Break it down.' Just then the hydraulic excavator that had been parked on the lawn that used to be Louis' childhood home roared to life and turned towards the house. Louis stared at it as it tore down his old house, bit by bit and brick by brick, taking with it all the horror that had been inflicted on him and his family. Louis kept watching until the house of horror was nothing more than a pile of rubble. A sense of peace washed over him and he knew that after today, whether Harry stayed with him or not, he had finally let go of his past and was he truly on his way to recovering. Then he turned to Harry.

 

'Please take me to your home,' he told him quietly as he handed him the keys to the Range Rover. Harry nodded and without another look around them, they both got in the car and Harry began the drive back to Holmes Chapel.

 

 

I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen

And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing

Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down

Right now I'm completely defenseless

For your eyes only, I show you my heart

For when you're lonely and forget who you are

I'm missing half of me when we're apart

Now you know me

For your eyes only.

 

COMING SOON: CHAPTER 25.


	25. Coming In Out Of The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many many thanks and apprectiation for the support my little fic is getting. Means a lot to me. Thank you for the wonderful and inspiring comments. You guys are awesome.  
> All the love  
> M

Coming In Out of The Dark.

 

 

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

 

 

As soon as they got in the Range Rover, Harry started the engine without any further delay, not wanting to spend another second in this God forbidden place. He wanted to get away from this place as fast as possible and get Louis home to safety. Louis rested his head against the cold glass of the window and watched in his side mirror the houses being demolished as Harry drove them away. He watched them fall, brick by brick crumbling, taking away with them all the horrors of his childhood nightmares. He sighed heavily but did not move or say anything. He closed his eyes because he felt mentally and emotionally drained, a tiredness that no amount of sleep could ever make better. He felt sad and hurt, the pain inside him so big and heavy, wanting to come out so badly but he didn't know how to do that. He wanted Harry to take him in his arms so he could cry but he didn't know if that was possible. He didn't know what Harry was feeling or what Harry was thinking. For all intents and purposes, Harry was already done with him and will tell him that its over between them once they got home.

 

And can you really blame him for dumping you? You are far too damaged for him to try and fix. It's not his job to do it. Do you think he can actually live with the ghosts of your past? He will think of what you did every time he looks at you. Nobody loves a whore.

 

Louis couldn't really blame him no. In fact, he was expecting Harry to let him down as gently as he could the moment they got back home and that frightened Louis so much. He couldn't live without Harry. Harry was his anchor. Harry was his home. Harry was the every breath in his lungs and every beat of his heart. How could he possible live without him? He shivered violently at just the thought of going back to London alone and manage the mess that he was.

 

Harry saw him shiver and immediately turned the heater on. He could see and feel the sadness radiating off of Louis but he didn't know what to do or what to say because he was still processing everything that Louis had told him. In all honesty, he had expected bad but this? This was horrifying and Harry didn't know what he was feeling exactly. He needed to sort his feelings out before dealing with Louis. He didn't want Louis to see him weak. He couldn't be weak! He had to be strong for Louis but at the moment, Harry wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry for all that had happened to his Louis.

 

He could understand now why Louis was the way he was. Why he needed his boys, why he had raped him, why he was so afraid of getting close, why he got mad when Harry had thrown at him on multiple occasions that he was nothing to him but a whore. He understood now why Louis was kind and had helped him with his education and was helping Niall get ahead in his company. He understood that Louis was paying forward the kindness that had been bestowed on him when he had needed it the most. He understood now why he had agreed to part own Garland's with Adam because he owed Adam so much. It all made sense and fit together like the pieces of a puzzle and Harry felt that he understood Louis so much more now.

 

The drive back home was made in complete and utter silence. Neither one of them spoke, each lost in their own thoughts. Harry wondered if Louis was about to stop talking again because he was awfully silent and it was giving Harry a bad feeling in his guts. He reached out and placed his hand gently on Louis' thigh but Louis startled and moved away from Harry's touch, crushing his body closer to the car door, not even looking at Harry. It was as if he was lost somewhere in his past and Harry's touch had scared him. Harry placed his hand back on the wheel and decided to leave it well alone. Maybe talk in the morning after they had slept off this horrible nightmare.

 

Harry was glad when he finally indicated a left turn into the road where his house was. It had been a silent two and a half hour ride. Neither of them had said a word and Harry was glad that the journey had finally come to an end. He parked Louis' car in the driveway and he had hardly turned the ignition off when Louis was sprinting out of the car and heading inside the house. Harry hurried to catch up with him but by the time he entered the kitchen, Louis had already gone up to his room. He found Marge sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cuppa looking surprised.

 

'What happened?' she asked Harry as soon as he walked into the kitchen.

 

'Where is he?' he asked her but he already knew that Louis had gone upstairs so Harry didn't give her time to reply but just dashed upstairs after him. When he got to the guest room, the door was locked. He knocked softly.

 

'Lou?' he called out but there was no reply. Harry sighed and knocked again. 'Louis please don't lock me out. Don't do this. We've come so far. Please. Please baby.' Again no sound came from inside the room. Harry sighed heavily and decided to give Louis some alone time since it looked like it was what he wanted. He went back downstairs and found a mug of hot tea waiting for him on the table. Marge looked at him with sympathy only a mother could offer a son.

 

'Harry darling are you alright?' she asked him gently. Harry kept his eyes on the steaming mug of tea in front of him. He didn't want to cry, not in front of Marge.

 

'No, not really,' he choked out, his voice thick. Marge reached out and placed her warm hand over his.

 

'Did you two have a fight honey?' she asked him not really wanting to intrude but wanting to help him or at least ease his suffering.

 

'Something like that,' Harry told her sadly. Marge squeezed his hand.

 

'Friends fight all the time sweetheart but if they love each other they always find their way back,' she told him knowingly and Harry looked at her, realizing that Marge knew more than she let on. He gave her a small smile. She got up and placed her cup in the sink.

 

'Okay my darling, I will be off for the night then. Your dad is all settled and he's in bed already. He doesn't need anything. Just remember to give him his medication before he sleeps and don't turn off his telly. Just put the sound on low. He likes it on. I will see you in the morning love,' she told him as she put on her coat and shoes. Harry nodded and watched her leave. The silence of the house crashed down on him and he felt it suffocating him. He dropped his head in his hands. Was Louis going to stop talking again? Harry wondered what he could do for him but what good use was it if Louis was still going to keep him out and away?

 

Harry pushed his chair back and got up. He put his mug in the sink and turned the kettle on, deciding to make Louis a cup of coffee. He must be cold from the journey and hungry! Yes, they hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Marge had left them dinner in the oven so Harry took a plate and warmed it for Louis in the microwave. He put the plate on a tray along with the coffee, cutlery and napkin and set off upstairs. He held the tray balanced in one hand and he knocked softly on the door.

 

'Lou, I got you dinner and some coffee. You must be hungry. We haven't eaten all day,' Harry said and waited. Nothing. He sighed. 'Louis please open the door. Just, please don't leave me out here love. I just...please let me in.' Harry paused and waited. No sound came from inside.

 

'Okay,' he told him in a defeated voice. 'I'm just going to leave the tray here by the door and I will leave okay. Just please, eat something. I'll be downstairs if you need me or want to talk to me.' Harry stood outside a little longer hoping Louis would open the door but it remained shut. Harry turned and headed back downstairs not really knowing what to do with himself. He was going through so many emotions after all Louis had told him and he so much wished that Louis wouldn't shut himself off but share this with him because Harry found it all so difficult to deal with by himself. He sat down on the couch and turned on the Christmas tree hoping to get some comfort from the colorful beautiful lights but his heart squeezed tightly in his chest. He was glad that Marge had lit up a fire because it felt cold, not just in the house but inside him too. He looked at the picture of his mum on the mantelpiece.

 

'What do I do mum? How do I save him? He's hurting so much mum and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to fail him and lose him for good if I don't do something to pull him back but I don't know what I can do to make it better for him.' Harry rubbed his face in frustration feeling everything from this day fall on him and crush him. He rested his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

 

 

X

 

As soon as Harry pulled the handbrake of the car in the driveway, Louis opened the car door and bolted. He had to get away from Harry. He had to get away from the world and hide where no one could see him. He felt exposed and ashamed and stripped down bare to his very soul, all that he had been through bare for everyone to see. He couldn't stand being stripped naked in front of Harry now that he had unburdened his past to him. He didn't want to see the pity and sadness in Harry's eyes. Most of all, he didn't want to see the disgust for him on Harry's face.

 

He rushed upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time, not even stopping to say hello to Marge who was in the kitchen and stared after him in bewilderment as he dashed through the kitchen like the devil was on his heels. He needed, had to be alone because he felt scattered and he had to recollect himself. As soon as he was inside his bedroom, he locked the door, thankful for the darkness. He rested his back against the locked door and tried to catch his breath and slow his racing heart. He was safe. Nobody could see him here in the dark or see how dirty he was. Nobody could tell that he was a whore.

 

He knows now and you know that he's disgusted with you. You are so fucked up and used he's probably cursing the day he met you and can't wait to have you out of his house. He's probably sick from just thinking about you inside him, fucking him like the whore that you are.

 

'Shut up,' Louis hissed in the darkness. His father's voice was strong in his ears. 'Harry is not like that. Harry won't. He won't. He loves me.'

 

No son he doesn't! He doesn't love my blue eyed beautiful boy like I do.

 

Louis covered his ears and rushed across the room, cowering in the corner.

 

'Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.' He kept his hands tightly on his ears tying to block out the snickering chuckle. Then he heard the knob of the door rattle.

 

Honey, daddy's home! Open up my beautiful boy!

 

Louis stared with wide unblinking eyes at the door as he heard knocking on it. His heart beat furiously in his chest. He was going to come in. He was going to come in and drag him from the ankles and hurt him. He pushed himself further into the corner and pulled his knees to his chest burying his face in his arms.

 

'No please,' he whimpered.

 

'Lou?' Harry called out but Louis did not reply. If he stayed still and quiet he would just go away and not hurt him. Harry sighed and knocked again. 'Louis please don't lock me out. Don't do this. We've come so far. Please. Please baby.' But Louis did not even dare breathe.

 

Let me in my beautiful boy. Daddy loves you so much.

 

'Please go away. Please go away. Please go away,' Louis whispered to himself as he rocked himself gently back and forth, hoping he would just go away and leave him alone. He kept his eyes tightly shut, his hands pressing hard on his ears. He heard Harry's footsteps recede and then it was silent. Louis slowly raised his head and opened his eyes blinking in the darkness. He removed his hands from his ears and strained to listen for footsteps, of heavy boots on the steps but there was nothing. Just blissful silence. All he could hear was the hammering of his fast heart and rush of blood in his ears. He let out a long breath, rested his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He felt bone tired and he just wanted to sleep.

 

X

 

 

The room was cold and dark and Louis stood in front of the small wrought iron bed, his fingers closed tightly around the cold iron. He couldn't see the bed but he knew it. It was familiar. It was his childhood bed. He wasn't a child anymore though but an adult. He looked around but he couldn't see anything. It was too dark. He could only hear the quiet whimpering of a child, sobbing softly.

 

'Hello?' he called out, his voice hollowed and muffled. He heard a chuckle from behind him but when he turned there was nothing, just dark empty space. He knew he wasn't alone though. He could feel a presence in the room along with the soft crying. A cold fear gripped him and he was finding it hard to breathe. He knew that he was back in his old room in his old house.

 

'You thought that by tearing it down all of this would stop?' his father asked him but Louis couldn't see him. He only heard his voice, harsh and strong as it has always been, sending cold shivers down his spine. Louis felt his mouth go dry. 'Did you miss me son?' Louis turned abruptly but he saw no one. Suddenly a light went on in his face, momentarily blinding him.

 

'You can run from me but you can't hide baby boy,' his father said to him from behind him as his lips and hot breath brushed his ear. 'You have been a very very naughty boy and naughty boys get punished.' Louis felt himself shake and tremble as he gripped the iron railing of the bed tighter. Then his eyes fell on the figure on the bed, strapped to the bed, naked, his hands handcuffed to the headboard and his spread legs cuffed to the legs of the bed. The figure was crying softly.

 

'Bad boys need to be punished Louis,' his father said again as he pressed a leather belt into Louis' cold stiff hands. Just then, the figure on the bed turned its head to Louis and he saw that it was Harry. Louis gasped in shocked horror as he watched Harry tied down and crying :

 

'Louis please don't hurt me. Please let me go. I will be good please please.' The belt dropped from Louis' hands to the hard wood floor with a muffled thud. His father chuckled.

 

'You were always weak my beautiful boy,' he told him and Louis watched him pick up the belt and move towards Harry, standing behind him.

 

'No,' Louis said, his voice not loud enough for his father to hear. 'No! No!' He tried to scream but it was no use. His voice seemed so far away and muffled. He watched his father raise his belt and land it on Harry's bum. Harry pulled on his restrains, screaming and it pierced Louis' heart.

 

'Louis please don't hurt me. Don't hurt me!' Louis wanted to tell him that it wasn't him that was hurting him, that it was his horrid father beating him. He wanted to scream at his father to stop hurting Harry but he couldn't move and they couldn't hear him. He watched as his father beat Harry and Harry screamed, each scream tearing at his heart. He watched as his father unzipped himself.......

 

A loud knock on the door brought Louis out of his dream. He sat up, eyes wide and wet from the tears searching the darkness, his breathing erratic. Where was he? Who was knocking? His heart was beating fast and loud in his chest as he realized that he had been having a nightmare.

 

'Lou, I got you dinner and some coffee. You must be hungry. We haven't eaten all day,' Harry said from outside the door and waited. Louis held his breath. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want anything. He just wanted him gone. Another soft knock and Louis held his breath waiting for the door to be broken down and to be dragged by his ankles. 'Louis please open the door. Just, please don't leave me out here love. I just...please let me in.' Louis placed his hands on his ears again.

 

Open the door for him. I'm sure he has milk and cookies for you. You always loved milk and cookies before bed. Why won't you be a good boy for daddy and open the door?

 

Louis covered his ears again and closed his eyes. 'Please go away,' he whispered to himself. 'Please please leave me alone.'

 

'Okay I'm just going to leave the tray out here by the door and I will leave okay,' he heard Harry say through the door. 'Just please Lou, eat something. I'll be downstairs if you need me or want to talk to me.'

 

'Please go. Please go. Please go,' Louis continued to whisper to himself. He waited with bated breath. For what, he didn't exactly know but he braced himself. His father was a strong man. He would surely break the door down and come in and drag him. Once again, it went silent and he heard footsteps walking away from his door.

 

You're safe. For now.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry woke up with a stiff neck as he heard a noise in the kitchen. He quickly sat up and looked around. It was daylight and he had slept on the couch still in his clothes! Why had he done that? Then he remembered everything from yesterday. He quickly got up feeling panic over take him. He went into the kitchen.

 

'Lou,' he said but as he entered he found Marge.

 

'Oh hello darling. Did you just wake up?' Marge asked him cheerfully.

 

'Has Louis been down?' he asked her, anxiety already over taking him.

 

'No love,' Marge told him and Harry bolted out of the kitchen running up the stairs. He stopped in front of Louis' room. The tray was still out there; the food untouched and the coffee now cold. Harry raped his knuckles fervently on the door as he jiggled the knob finding the door still locked.

 

'Louis,' he called out his voice soft yet urgent. 'Louis please for God's sake just open the door. I need to know you are okay.' Not a sound came from inside and Harry felt himself on the verge of tears, a sense of panic overtaking him. 'Louis please I'm worried sick. Just let me know you are alright and I will leave you alone. Please baby.' Harry begged in a broken voice. He rested his forehead against the door. 'I know its been hard but you don't have to hide from me. We're in this together love. Please Louis.' Nothing. Harry knocked louder and raised his voice.

 

'Louis I swear to God if you don't open this fucking God damn door I'm gonna break it down. Open it. Now.' Harry growled, slamming his open palm against the door repeatedly. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, calming himself. 'Please baby. Please.'

 

Inside, Louis was still huddled in the corner in the dark, rocking himself back and forth, hands covering his ears as he heard the door rattle and the threats coming from outside. He shivered violently.

 

The boogeyman is coming to get you, you naughty naughty boy.

 

Louis screwed his eyes tightly shut. 'Please go away, go away, go away,' he whispered softly. But the knocking continued and his name was being called repeatedly and he knew, he knew that he was coming in and he would drag him by his ankles and hurt him bad. He was going to be punished severely for locking the door. He should've known better. He wasn't allowed to lock the door and he had locked it and he had made him mad and now he was going to pay for it.

 

'Please please please go away. Leave me alone. Don't hurt me,' he continued to whisper to himself. He heard a loud thud on the door and he knew that the door was being forced open.

 

Coming to get ya my lovely boy!

 

Another thud and Louis cowered in the corner, waiting for him to come into the room and get him. The door finally gave and it opened with a loud smack as it hit the wall from the impact of the force it had been opened with. Light from the hallway spilled into the dark room and Louis pushed himself further into the corner covering his face and head in his arms. He wanted to disappear before he felt his hands on him again. Before he beat him with his belt. Before he fucked him hard.

 

Harry saw him huddled in the corner of the room, still in yesterday's clothes.

 

'Please don't,' Louis said softly. 'Please don't hurt me.' Harry felt his heart ache in his chest. His poor poor baby. Harry got down on his knees and crawled slowly towards him not wanting to startle him.

 

'Louis honey its me,' he told him softly but he saw him press himself further into the corner, his face hidden in his arms.

 

'Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry I locked the door. I'll be good I promise just don't hurt me please,' Louis said in a broken voice.

 

'Baby,' Harry said as softly as he could. 'I'm not going to hurt you. Its me. Its your Harry. Look at me baby.' But Louis shook his head. Harry stopped at few inches away from him. Louis looked so small and terrified. Harry didn't want to touch him because Louis looked frightened and he didn't want to startle him.

 

'Louis hey,' Harry told him in a gentle voice. 'Its me. You're safe here. Nobody is going to hurt you. You are safe love.' Slowly, Louis raised his head and looked around as if expecting somebody to drag him from his safety corner. Then his eyes landed on Harry and he looked at him, there on his knees sitting back on his heels. Louis focused on his beautiful green eyes and blinked a few times, recognition settling on his features.

 

'Harry,' he said quietly. Harry smiled at him.

 

'Hi,' Harry told him. 'It's me baby.' Harry scooted a little closer, slowly not wanting to scare Louis.

 

'Harry,' Louis said again as if he was waking up from a dream, blinking up at Harry.

 

'I'm here Lou,' Harry told him. He watched as Louis' lower lip trembled slightly and his eyes began to water. This was not his Louis! This frightened creature was so different from his Louis, the strong confident Louis that demanded everyone's attention when he entered a room. But this fragile Louis needed him. This Louis was vulnerable and Harry had to be there for him. 'Are you cold? Do you want coffee?' Harry asked him and Louis nodded.

 

'Alright. I'm going to help you up okay,' Harry told him, giving him a warning before putting his hands on him. Louis nodded again. Harry gently took his hands which were cold and clammy and hauled him up slowly. Louis winced as his muscles and joints protested and creaked from being curled up on the floor in the corner all night. Harry helped him stand. 'Its alright baby. You're just sore from sitting still for a long time.' He sat him down on the bed and Louis began to shiver. Harry quickly pulled the duvet off the bed and wrapped it around Louis' shoulders and Louis snuggled into it. Harry sat down next to him and for a while they remained in silence.

 

'How are you feeling?' Harry asked him. Louis kept his eyes on the carpet and said nothing. Harry nodded to himself as if he was having a private conversation with himself. 'Do you want to talk?' Louis shook his head no. Harry sighed heavily. He was confused.

 

'Louis,' he said quietly. 'I know that you feel exposed and vulnerable and I don't blame you but please, its me! You don't have to feel like you have to hide with me.' Louis got up off the bed suddenly.

 

'I need to shower,' he told him softly and walked into the bathroom. Harry huffed. This was going to be difficult.

 

Of course it will be. He lost all control. He gave it to you. He lost his dignity. He broke down all his walls and doesn't know what to do now. All his life he's been hiding behind those walls, behind the fortress that he built for himself and control was all that he had and now he has nothing. He doesn't know what to do or how to be. He let go of the person be used to be for you. He doesn't even have his boys anymore. Or his home to go to. You need to build him up again. You need to give him back his dignity, his control, take away his fears.

 

Harry sat there waiting for Louis to finish his shower, thinking about how he could fix this and bring his Louis back. This broken shell of Louis had to go. Harry didn't want him to keep suffering. He needed to help him to let go of the past now. He had to build him up again.

 

The door to the bathroom opened and Louis walked out in just a towel around his waist, not meeting Harry's eyes which he felt on him. He went to his bag, pulled out a fresh change of clothes and went back into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him. Harry found it strange that Louis didn't change in front of him. He had never been shy about getting naked in front of him before.

 

Sometimes you are truly thick. He just told you about all the times he had been raped and abused. About all the times he had to undress to fuck men for money. The last thing he wants to do is parade naked in front of you when he's already feeling naked and vulnerable emotionally.

 

Harry had so many thoughts running through his head while trying to think about how best to deal with this version of Louis that he knew nothing about.

 

The door to the bathroom opened again and Louis walked out dressed in a pair of black Adidas sweatpants and a woolly jumper. He padded softly across the room, not saying anything and avoiding to look at Harry. He fixed his hair and fidgeted around clearly uncomfortable. Finally Harry couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and took Louis' hand only for Louis to quickly pull it out of his tender grasp.

 

'Louis please talk to me,' Harry pleaded with him. Louis stood near Harry, still looking down.

 

'Why don't you just leave,' he told him a little harshly. Harry was a little surprised to hear those words leave Louis' mouth.

 

'What?' he asked him. Louis didn't move. He stood as still as a statue.

 

'Don't fucking baby me,' Louis snapped at him. 'I am not your fucking broken toy to fix and I don't need your pity.' Harry was frozen by Louis' words and his angry, cold tone of voice.

 

He's dealing with it the only way he knows how. If he needs you to be his punching bag, then be strong and take each hit for him. Be patient.

 

'I-I'm n-not pitying you Lou,' Harry told him softly. Louis snorted.

 

'Yes you are. You think I haven't seen it all over your fucking face and hear it in the tone of your voice each time you fucking talk to me?' Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Okay, he was going to be difficult. He knew difficult Louis. He could deal with difficult Louis.

 

'Lou, I'm not. Please don't fight me. I'm on your side okay. You...you have been pushing me away since you told me....'

 

'Yes since I fucking told you my life story which you insisted you wanted to fucking hear. Are you happy now that you got me where you fucking wanted? Aren't you disgusted by me yet?' he spat at Harry. Harry's eyes went wide at Louis' accusations.

 

'Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted?'

 

'Stop fucking playing with me!' Louis yelled. Harry gulped.

 

There he is!

 

'Louis I am not playing! Why would you think I'd be disgusted with you?' Louis glared at him hard.

 

'Haven't you heard a fucking word of all that I told you? I was abused, I was raped and fucked by my father and his friends. I was a whore Harry! Since I was a child I was a whore then I grew up and I fucked men for money!' Louis screamed at him. Harry stood up and looked down on Louis.

 

'Was Louis!' Harry yelled back, his voice booming around the small room. 'That's the keyword here! WAS!!! You WERE abused!!! You WERE raped!!! You WERE a whore!!!' Harry was shaking with anger as he spoke and on the verge of tears. Anger at what all those people had done to Louis, leaving him to view himself as something that's disgusting and not worthy of love. Harry took in a few deep breaths to calm himself down not wanting to be angry at Louis. 'You had no fucking choice baby. You had no choice in any of it Louis. You were just a little boy that was abused by his own sick demented father and his filthy friends. You did what you had to do to survive when you were out on the streets. How can I possibly look at you and feel revulsion? You were brave.....'

 

'Brave!' Louis scoffed in disgust. Harry took a step towards him, his eyes shining and wet.

 

'Yes sweetheart. You were brave. You kept yourself alive when killing yourself would've been the easier option and that option would've set you free from all your torments but you fought. You held on. You did what you had to do with what you had and you succeeded. You found your mother and you helped her. You found your sisters and your brother and you made sure they had all they needed. You built your own company. You help so many people. You helped Adam. You are helping Niall and you...you helped me. Look at all the good you have done Louis. Look at how many people you help and how many you employ, giving them good jobs so they can have good lives. Look at how many students are benefiting from the photo lab you gave the university. Possibly can't you see all this? You are a survivor. A brave warrior.'

 

Louis kept staring at Harry, his own eyes wide and wet, his lower lip trembling.

 

'B-but I...I h-hurt you,' Louis whispered.

 

'Lou,' Harry said but Louis grabbed his arm tightly stopping him.

 

'You once asked me when we were fighting that night of the storm, if I knew what it was like to be raped by someone you love and I knew. God I knew what it was like and I wanted to tell you so much but I couldn't tell you then that I knew, I knew, I knew so well what it felt like to be violated by somebody you loved and trusted and looked up to. I loved my father so much and he abused me and raped me. I knew what it was like yet I did it to you. I raped you and hurt you. I turned into to him and dragged you into my hell. I gave you my very own nightmares. I became HIM! How can you not be disgusted by me? How can I ever forgive myself for what I did to you?' It was Harry's turn to tug his arm out of Louis' grasp and grab him by the upper arms tightly, shaking him a little.

 

'First of all, you are NOTHING like him do you understand? NOTHING! Don't you ever compare yourself to him or think you are anything like him. He was just a sperm donor. That's the only thing that links you to him, nothing else. Second of all, yes you can forgive yourself for what you did to me and you will because I forgave you. I forgave you Louis. Forgive yourself honey. Go easy on yourself. Don't torment yourself like this.' Tears rolled down Louis' cheeks.

 

'I-I had a nightmare. My-my father made me beat you but when I didn't, he-he did and he was going to r-rape you and I-I couldn't help you.....I tried to-to stop him b-but I-I.....' he choked on a sob and Harry was quick to pull him into his arms, crushing him to his chest.

 

'It was just a nightmare. You opened the flood gates to your personal hell Louis and your demons have come out to torment you but I'm here baby. I'll keep your demons at bay for you. I'll protect you. Just let me. Don't push me away Louis. I can't stand being away from you,' Harry begged him. Louis fisted Harry's t-shirt in his fingers.

 

'S-so you still want me?' he asked him in a choked voice. Harry hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head.

 

'More than ever baby. More than ever. There will never come a time when I won't want you. I'm not leaving you,' he promised him. Louis pulled him closer to him tighter and buried his face in his chest. Harry stroked his back and soothed him lovingly as Louis cried silently in his arms. He just held him and let him get it out. When Louis stopped, Harry pulled back and cupped his face in both his large hands, wiping his tears away with his thumbs.

 

'I love you Louis, just as you are, with all that you got. Never doubt that. I'm going to kiss you now. Is that alright?' Louis nodded and Harry bent down, giving him the gentlest of kisses that he could muster, no tongue just his lips moving against Louis'. He placed a kiss on his nose.

 

'How about some breakfast and tea hmm? You haven't had anything to eat or drink since yesterday,' Harry told him. Louis nodded again and let Harry take his hand and lead him downstairs. Harry took him into the lounge and lit up the Christmas tree for him because he knew that Louis loved it and he was glad to see that Marge had already kindled a fire in the fireplace. The room was warm and snug. Louis sat down by the Christmas tree.

 

'Stay here,' Harry told him, not wanting Marge to see Louis in the state he was in.'I'll bring you breakfast in here alright.' Louis nodded again and Harry left the lounge, closing the door behind him. Harry went into the kitchen and found a note from Marge saying that she had gone shopping and that his father was all taken care of and for that, Harry was grateful. He wanted to dedicate himself to Louis right now because Louis was not fine and he needed him. He just had to concentrate on Louis. He set about making him french toast and coffee which he took to him on a tray. He found Louis curled up into the couch, looking at the Christmas tree. Harry placed the tray on the coffee table and sat down next to him, placing his hand on Louis' knee. Louis looked at him and gave him a weak smile that did not reach his beautiful teary eyes.

 

'In four days its my birthday,' he said quietly. Harry looked at him surprised.

 

'Your birthday is on Christmas Eve?' Louis nodded.

 

'Last birthday and Christmas that I celebrated where when I turned eight years old. I can still remember mum bringing me a birthday cake with eight candles on it and dad, he bought me a bike. He knew how much I had been wanting a bike and he got me it. As I blew out the candles, they asked me to make a wish. I honestly had nothing to wish for because I had everything. Perfect parents, perfect home, perfect life. If I had made that wish a few weeks later, I would've wished for God to take me. I was brought up to believe in God but I stopped believing in him when he left me there to be abused for five long years, when he let him do all those things to me and to my mum. I never celebrated my birthday or Christmas ever again.' Louis stopped and looked into the fire, lost in memories from a long time ago and he continued:

 

'I never had a pet either. Most kids my age had pets and he had promised me that when I turned nine and I was more responsible and that if I was good, he would get me a dog. Little did I know what was to become of me by the age of nine.' Louis looked at Harry and it broke Harry's heart to see the lost, vacant look in his eyes.

 

'Can I ask you something?' Harry asked and Louis nodded. 'Where is he?'

 

'HM Prison in Leeds,' Louis said quietly. 'Do you mind if I go back up to my room please? I just....I feel very exposed and I need time,' Louis told him. Harry nodded.

 

'Of course. Will you eat just a little?'

 

'I'm not hungry,' Louis told him as he got up and headed up the stairs back to his room. Harry heard the door close softly. Harry knew that he had to do something to help Louis but he didn't know what exactly. What do you do for someone who is so emotionally broken? He decided that for now he should concentrate on doing something for Louis' birthday and Christmas. He deserved to celebrate his birthday and Christmas so Harry began making plans and making himself busy organizing something to cheer Louis up. He made up his mind that as soon as Marge was back, he would go out shopping for presents for Louis.

 

 

X

 

Harry came back home after six pm. It was snowing and very cold. He entered the warm house and took off his wet shoes and jacket, hanging it up in the hallway. He padded into the kitchen with his shopping bags and found Marge as usual in the kitchen.

 

'Hello honey,' Marge greeted him with a smile. 'How was shopping?' Harry placed the bags on the kitchen table and flopped down in a chair.

 

'Stressful,' he told her. 'I don't like shopping and shopping a few days before Christmas is horrific. But I got what I needed. I just need to pick up one more item on Christmas Eve.' Harry paused. 'H-has he been down?' he asked her hopefully. Marge gave him a sympathetic look.

 

'No sweetheart he hasn't.' Harry nodded.

 

'Alright. I'll go take a hot shower quickly then see to him.'

 

'Okay love. You have dinner ready. I made lasagna for you. And your dad is all set.' Harry got up and hugged Marge tightly.

 

'I don't know what I'd do without you Marge,' Harry told her and Marge hugged him.

 

'You don't ever have to find out my sweet boy. I promised your dear mother I will take care of you and your dad and that's what I will do.' Harry kissed her cheek fondly.

 

'Thank you Marge so much,' he told her gratefully. He left the kitchen and hurried upstairs stopping briefly in front of Louis' door but there was no sound from inside. Harry went into his room and quickly showered, the steaming water towing his cold limbs. When he was done, he toweled off, put on fresh clothes and went to Louis' room. He knocked softly.

 

'Lou? May I come in?' he asked. He heard a faint shuffle.

 

'Yeah,' Louis replied and Harry exhaled, feeling relieved that Louis wanted him beside him. Harry stepped into the room, lighted only by a lampshade on the bedside table and saw Louis on the bed, lying on his side facing away from him. The curtains were open and Louis was watching the snow falling outside. Harry walked across the room and sat down beside Louis' feet and began to rub them gently.

 

'How are you feeling?' Harry asked him and Louis shrugged, not looking at him. Harry continued to rub his feet, gently massaging his toes and Louis let him. Harry heard him sigh.

 

'Harry?' Louis said softly.

 

'Yes love?'

 

'I want you to fuck me,' Louis told him.

 

'What?' Harry screeched, his hand stilling on Louis' feet. Louis sat up and looked pointedly at Harry, no sign of amusement on his face. He fumbled with his fingers as he sat cross legged.

 

'I- I want you to top. I want you inside me Harry. I need it.' Harry kept looking at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly hanging open. He looked at Louis sitting there cross legged like a little boy. Harry quickly dismissed the idea of little Louis from his mind.

 

'Lou where is this coming from?' Harry asked him when he had regained the use of his speech. 'You never...'

 

'I-I just want to make new memories with you. I want you to make me forget all that....'

 

'Louis stop,' Harry cut him off. Louis looked at him with wide blue eyes, searching his face.

 

'You don't want to? Why?' he asked him, his voice flat.

 

'Baby I want to though I never topped. Its just that, I don't think you are ready....'

 

'I am,' Louis interrupted him. 'I already prepped myself for you. I just want you to fuck me,' he told him flat out making Harry gasp in shock again but quickly composing himself. Harry licked his lips nervously.

 

'I don't want to fuck you,' he said quietly and he saw Louis' face fall.

 

'So I do disgust you?' Louis spat at him accusingly. Harry quickly reached over and took his hands in his own.

 

'No you don't disgust me Lou. The reason I don't want to fuck you is because I want to make love to you, not just fuck you for you to get this over and done with like its some annoying chore or to prove to me that you can take it. It doesn't work that way baby,' Harry told him patiently.

 

'I need you to do this for me Harry. I have never asked you for anything but please I need you to this one thing for me,' Louis pleaded with him but Harry shook his head standing firm against the temptation.

 

'You are not ready for it Lou,' Harry told him calmly but firmly and before Louis could protest, Harry continued :

 

'The fact that you prepped yourself for me and not let me do it to you, is proof enough that you are not ready for me to touch you there. Prepping is all apart of being intimate. Its foreplay Lou and I would be taking advantage of you if I just climbed on top of you and fucked you. Remember, its my first time too and I want it to be special for us. Besides, you are not even hard baby. At all,' Harry pointed out. Louis looked down at his limp dick, betraying his intentions. Harry saw Louis' face sadden.

 

'Baby don't be sad please. We will get there but you need time. You need time to emotionally and mentally prepare yourself to have me inside you. You have been though a bad trauma honey and if you are not mentally ready, then you will never be physically prepared for it. You have been through hell so please don't just do it because you think it can suddenly erase everything. Your body might be ready to get this over and done with but you need to be mentally and emotionally prepared Lou. That's the hardest thing you know. To mentally prepare yourself. To tell yourself that it is okay. Most of all, you must really be sure you want me to make love to you....'

 

'I'm sure,' Louis told him, a pout on his lips. Harry smiled and squeezed his hands.

 

'Remember my first time? The night you took my virginity?' Louis nodded.

 

'How can I ever forget?' he whispered.

 

'That was a huge step for me, giving you something so precious. I knew since the first time I met you that I wanted you to be my first so I mentally prepared myself for it though I was afraid that after you were done with me you might not want me anymore, that I was simply just another fuck to you but that was a risk I was willing to take. I had so many fears. I was scared that it would hurt which it did or that maybe I wouldn't live up to your expectations of me but of one thing I was certain of was that : I wanted you and I was ready.' Harry paused and looked at Louis with as much tenderness as he could muster.

 

'When you raped me,' he continued softly not missing the wince on Louis' face, 'I was so scared to let you touch me again. I was scared to have you near me. I internally panicked whenever your hands came in close proximity to my body. All my mind could scream at me was the fact that you hurt me and forced yourself inside me. But I wanted you because I loved you too much, and I knew that even though you were the one that broke me, you were the only one that could fix me. My body could've taken you anytime but mentally and emotionally I was not ready which was why I waited until I was. Until I was no longer afraid of you.' Harry stopped and sighed heavily and Louis could tell that the memory of that night still haunted Harry. Just like his memories from a long time ago still haunted him.

 

'When I finally had enough courage and convinced myself you were not going to hurt me, I made up my mind that it was time to be intimate with you again. Even though I was ready, that night I was terrified because it kept replaying in my mind but I was stronger than that. I knew you wouldn't hurt me again. I trusted you blindly and let you in. We made new memories but I'm not saying I have totally forgotten. And that is what I need from you Lou. I need you to be ready for this. I need you to want it. Honey, I promise you that we will make new memories and I will replace your bad ones with good, new ones. I will do my best to erase them and give you something better. I will show you what it feels like to be made love to I promise you. I will give you those new memories that you need but only when you are ready and not a moment before. If I do this to you now, while you are broken and in pieces, I will further ruin you and you will resent me for it. Just allow yourself to heal and to feel. Cry. Don't worry I'm here to catch you and hold you together when you fall apart. I got you my love, always.'

 

Louis' lower lip trembled and a few tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Harry rubbed his thighs gently.

 

'You don't have to hold it in sweetheart,' Harry urged him. 'Its alright to let go with me. I am here and I am not going anywhere. You are the love of my life Lou and you are hurting so much right now. Let me be your strength. You don't have to be strong or prove yourself to me. We are one baby. Trust me with all you got. We will take this one step at a time. Today you surrendered your soul to me. It will take a while to surrender your body too.' Louis sniffed at his tears and wiped them away with the back of his hands.

 

'Hold me. Please?' he asked in a small voice.

 

'Of course my darling. Of course,' Harry told him as he climbed on the bed and rested his back against the headboard, opening his arms for Louis. Louis cuddled into his side, his head on Harry's chest. Harry wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. He could feel him shaking, sobbing softly and he let him cry. He felt him take in a deep shuddering breath and exhale slowly.

 

'I-I hate not having any control. I structured my life on control. From the age of eight up until eighteen, I had no control over my life. First it was him that controlled me. Then I was controlled by the rules and staff in juvie. I never had any control. So I built my whole life on control Harry and now I have none left and I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. The last time I was this lost was when I was an abused child and I hate feeling this way.' Louis paused, sniffed and continued :

 

'That is why I always needed my boys. I needed to exercise my control. I had to prove I had control over them and over my life. Whenever something went wrong, I knew I had them to go back to and have total control over them and that gave me a sense of power. Now I don't have any of that, I don't know what to do.' Harry's heart sank a little at Louis's words. He couldn't be selfish and deny him his only outlet to gain his control back. If this was what he needed then he should have it.

 

'Do you need your boys back Louis?' Harry asked him gently. Louis shook his head.

 

'No. I gave them up for you. You are all I need.' Harry hugged him tighter.

 

'Louis this is not about me. If you need them, get them back. I understand now why you needed them and I will not make you give them up. I was wrong to be jealous of them but I didn't understand....'

 

'No Harry. I won't go back on my word. That's a closed chapter.' Harry didn't know what to say to that but he knew with certainty that Louis needed them. He needed to exercise his control and he also knew that this chapter was far from closed but he chose not to press the matter for the time being and he let Louis rest. He just held him close and felt him slowly relax into his arms as his breathing even out, indicating that Louis had fallen asleep. But Harry lay awake and the more he thought about it, the more he knew what he had to do for Louis in order to bring him back from this darkness.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry stirred. He felt too warm and something was pressing down on his chest. He opened his eyes and remembered that he had fallen asleep holding Louis. Louis was still asleep, his head on Harry's chest, breathing deeply. Harry rubbed his eyes with one hand and looked at the clock on the bedside table. Three am. He felt tired and didn't want to get up just yet so he snuggled closer into Louis and the warmth his body offered, closing his eyes again. As he began to drift off again, he heard Louis whine and felt him fist his t-shirt tighter, pulling at it and tugging.

 

'No. No,' he whimpered and he huddled into Harry. 'No please dad...not him. Please. It's me you want.' Harry realized that Louis was having a nightmare.

 

'Lou honey, wake up baby,' Harry told him softly shaking him a little but Louis grabbed him tighter.

 

'Dad no leave him alone. Please take me. Take me. Not him. Leave him alone!' Louis screamed.

 

'Louis wake up!' Harry yelled, shaking him a little harder and Louis' eyes flew open. He stared into Harry's green eyes horrified not realizing it was Harry. He let go of him and scrambled back.

 

'Don't touch me!' he screamed still scrambling back until he fell off the bed and landed hard on the floor. 'Don't touch me!! Please don't!' Harry was up in a flash and beside him on the floor.

 

'Louis are you alright? Are you hurt?' Harry asked him fussing over him. Louis blinked.

 

'Harry,' he whimpered.

 

'I'm here baby,' Harry told him as he scooped him in his arms and pulled him into his lap. He hugged him tighter. 'I'm here sweetheart. I got you.' Louis clung to him, shaking, his t-shirt wet with sweat sticking to his skin. Harry rubbed his back.

 

'Shh shh its alright honey it was just a nightmare,' Harry soothed him. Louis kept gripping him tight.

 

'H-he was c-coming f-for you,' he whispered.

 

'He's not here baby. You're safe. I'm safe. He can't hurt you or me love. It was just a bad dream. Let's get you back to bed yeah,' Harry told him and Louis nodded. Harry moved him off his lap and got up, getting Louis up with him. He helped him lie back down and covered him with the duvet.

 

'Don't leave me,' he whispered to Harry.

 

'I won't baby,'Harry told him as he got back into bed under the duvet and pulled him into his arms. 'Sleep honey. I got you. I'm gonna stay right here.' Harry kissed Louis' forehead as he felt him relax against him. He was now more determined than ever to help him and he was even more sure of what he had to do.

 

X

 

When Harry woke up again, bright white light filtered in through the bedroom window and he was alone in bed. He stretched and yawned and looked around the room for Louis but the room was empty. He quickly got up, feeling a pounding headache and opened the bedroom door. The house was silent. He padded downstairs and headed into the kitchen where he found Marge.

 

'Good morning Marge,' Harry told her as he sat down at the table feeling immensely tired. 'Where is Louis?' Marge looked at him and gave him a smile as she put the kettle on to make him a cuppa.

 

'He went out for a walk. He told me to tell you not to worry,' Marge told him. Harry furrowed his brow in confusion.

 

'A walk out in this snow? How long has he been gone?' Marge looked at the clock which read eleven thirty am.

 

'Maybe an hour or so,' she told him as she handed him a mug of tea.

 

'An hour ago out in the snow? He doesn't know the area,' Harry told her already fretting over Louis being away from him. 'What if he gets lost?' Marge tsked fondly.

 

'Harry love calm down. He won't get lost. There is nowhere here where he can get lost. He is a grown man and he told me to tell you that he needs some time alone and for you not to worry about him. Now, drink your tea and I will make you some breakfast.'

 

For the rest of the morning, Harry paced the house, worrying about Louis being out for so long and every instinct in his body was screaming at him to put on a jacket and go out looking for him but the rational part of his brain was telling him to set to work on his plan to help Louis and let him have some time alone. Harry went upstairs to his room to think.

 

After a while, Harry heard voices down stairs and he rushed down to see if it was Louis and sure enough he was in the kitchen talking to Marge still bundled up in his thick jacket, scarf and gloves, with snowflakes in his hair.

 

'Louis,' Harry breathed out in relief going over towards him, brushing the snow from his hair. 'Are you alright?' Louis looked up at him, his eyes a clear blue, his cheeks and nose pink from the cold. Louis smiled at him as Harry, totally forgetting that Marge was in the room, hugged him tightly. Marge smiled at them and she left the kitchen to go and check on Harry's father and give them some privacy.

 

'I was worried,' Harry said in the crook of Louis' neck. Louis hugged him.

 

'I just needed some fresh air and a walk. I'm alright,' Louis reassured him pulling back to look up into Harry's beautiful worried face.

 

'Are you sure you're alright?' Harry asked because he could see the sadness in Louis' eyes and his quiet demeanor. Louis nodded.

 

'I just need a cuppa,' he told him as he commenced to take off his jacket, scarf and gloves. Harry was quick to make two mugs of steaming tea. As they made their way into the warm living room, he heard Marge leave through the back door. Harry was glad that they were alone. He needed to talk to Louis. Louis sat next to the Christmas tree and held his hands out for his tea. He was never much of a tea drinker but being around Harry, tea had grown on him and he had began drinking tea more often. Harry sat beside him and took a sip of his hot tea.

 

'Lou,' he said softly. Louis looked at him, squinting his eyes at Harry because Harry looked nervous and Louis knew from the way he said his name that Harry was going to say something.

 

He's going to dump your sorry abused ass.

 

Harry chewed on his bottom lip not knowing how to begin telling Louis what he had to say. And Louis was slowly becoming scared and braced himself to have his heart broken. Harry reached out and took his hand in his.

 

'Lou, I know that its been difficult and I can see how you are...hurting and struggling and I have been doing a lot of thinking. I know you hate feeling this way, vulnerable and showing your weak side. I know how much you crave control and right now, you don't have any of it at all.' Harry stopped, his eyes never leaving Louis and Louis was wondering what the hell was Harry trying to say. Harry swallowed thickly and licked his lips.

 

'Louis, I know you need your boys to....'

 

'Harry don't!' Louis snapped at him as he pulled his hand out of Harry's gentle hold. 'I already fucking told you...'

 

'Please just hear me out. Please Lou,' Harry was quick to stop him. He knew well enough that Louis would fight him. Louis ran a hand through his hair in frustration. This was adding more to his already frustrated body and mind but he said nothing. He knew damn well that if he had his boys he would've unleashed all this pent up anger inside of him, if only to get a little release. But he didn't and he was trying to cope with it in a way normal people would do it but it wasn't working and he was getting more frustrated. However, let Harry continue.

 

'I know you need them to get it out of your system. This has been your coping mechanism for a long time and its become a sort of addiction to you.This has been your way of coping with frustrations and angers that build up inside you and now you don't have that support system when you need it the most. I know you and you know too that you can't just give it up like that and expect to be okay with it right away. This is just like any other addiction. You will crash if you don't ease out of it step by step. Its really okay if you need it Louis.' Louis huffed.

 

'Harry,' he said as calmly as he could, 'I am saying this for the last fucking time alright. I don't want to go back to my boys.' Harry gave him a small smile and took his hand again.

 

'You don't have to. You have me,' he told him softly.

 

'The fuck Harry!' Louis said in a raised voice. 'I'm not going to fucking beat you.' Harry swallowed and turned further in his seat to look at Louis.

 

'Louis listen to me please. Just listen alright,' Harry told him trying to calm him down. 'I-I have done some research....'

 

'You mean you watched some crazy shit porn!' Louis interrupted him and Harry blushed but he smiled a little.

 

'It eventually led to that yeah but I have researched BDSM,' Harry told him softly and watched Louis cover his face with both his hands.

 

'Jesus fucking Christ Harry,' Louis whispered.

 

'Louis, there are so many ways for you to exercise your control without violence or anger and it can be pleasurable for the both of us. You...you d-don't have to beat me hard or be violent or-or force yourself on me. I will have my colors....'

 

'Colors?' Louis asked him confused because all that Harry was saying was just fucked up.

 

Is it? Is it more fucked up than what you do? At least he is finding safer ways for you to practice this. You should be fucking grateful he's still here and trying his hardest to help you instead of dumping you like the trash that you are.

 

'Well,' Harry began, feeling a little less nervous. 'If we do this, I get to have colors. They are like safe words which you will ask me occasionally when we are doing this. Green means carry on, Yellow means I am nearing my limit....'

 

'And I assume Red means stop?' Louis asked him a little sarcastically but the sarcasm was lost on Harry and he smiled big popping his dimples.

 

'Yes Lou! Yes it does so I will be safe at all times.' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

You are interested! Admit it! You can't resist the pull of it. You can already feel the thrill in your veins of tying him down and.....

 

'Harry this is not a good idea,' Louis told him, hearing his subconscious scoff at him.

 

Look at you trying to be a decent good little boy! But you want it you dirty naughty boy.

 

Harry's face fell a little but he wasn't going to give up that easily. 'Lou I-I want you to do this. I want US to do this together.....' Louis looked at him.

 

'By any chance are you into this shit? Are you into BDSM? What you said in that courtroom, is there any truth in it? Do you really have a fetish for that shit?' Louis threw at him. He watched Harry look down away from him and his face turn red.

 

'I-I may not be totally against it. I-I might maybe like it a little,' he admitted then quickly looked up at Louis, his eyes pleading. 'But I-I want to help you. I know we can do this if we plan it together. Pain can be pleasurable if we both are on the same page. I-I trust you Lou. I am giving you this power back. There is a difference between being a Dom and a sadist. There's trust and boundaries for both and I know you won't hurt me like....I just trust you and I want you to have a safe outlet. You know it will only get worse if you suppress it. You need your control and power back and I-I need t-to feel them,' Harry ended quietly looking a little ashamed at admitting all this. Louis looked at him with a mixture of confusion and awe and horror.

 

'You like me dominating you?' he asked him in awe himself. Harry kept his head down.

 

'It's the Louis I met. The Louis I know. I didn't mind you being that way. I know you are not yourself like this Louis though its a part of you too. Its like you are two people in one and I want them both but one can't function without the other. You slipped once. Don't punish yourself for it.' Louis sighed heavily.

 

'What if and I mean if...I accept this...what if I lose control Harry? While you are....tied up? What if I won't be able to stop?' Harry looked at him.

 

'You won't. I won't let you.' Louis looked at him warily.

 

'Harry there is a chance I might. Like you said, this is all I have ever known for most of my life. How can I do it otherwise?'

 

'Control,' Harry simply told him. 'You will have total control. Now its time to exercise that control on yourself too not just controlling me. That is what a good Dom does. Controls himself and takes good care of his sub.' Louis looked at him with his mouth hanging a little open. Was this boy for real? Harry took opportunity of Louis' silence and continued:

 

'Listen to me. I trust you Lou. If we don't find a way through this together, you are never going to get past this. You are going to let guilt eat you up inside and you will become angrier with no outlet for your frustrations. You will be mad at everything and everyone, living a life that is only half lived. And you will go back to your boys....'

 

'I won't!' Louis snapped at him sharply, making Harry jump a little.

 

'You will Lou,' Harry continued calmly. 'You will because its all you know and all you need and I can't have that. I can't have you running back to your boys when I am here and can help you. You told me when you came back that you will give me everything I asked of you to make this relationship work. So here we are. Are you going back on your word to me or are we going to do this together?' Louis glared at him.

 

'This is not fair Harry,' he growled at him.

 

'What's not fair is you suffering Louis,' Harry told him in a soft yet steady voice. 'You let all your walls down and you are vulnerable and you feel exposed and I understand how you feel because I know you. I found a safe way for you, for us to do this together. This is me helping you through this. I am fighting your demons for you so let me. Don't stand in the way of me fighting for you.' Louis looked down because yes, he had to admit that as much as it shamed him, he needed this very much. Harry saw the struggle on his face.

 

'Louis honey, if we do this together, it will get easier for you. You will stop seeing it as a way for you to release your anger and it will become a thing of pleasure for the both of us. It will become our thing. Remember when Marc gave you the box of toys? You were so uncertain about them but we made it work and we both enjoyed them. If you accept this, you will stop doing it out of your need to beat someone because you are angry but you will do it for pleasure both for you and for me. And you will be in total control. That is how we are going to fight this baby by turning your need for violence and anger into pleasure. New memories right? We are making them. Let yourself make them. With me. In a way, you will still be exercising your need but in a different, safe way. What do you say hmm?' Louis shook his head.

 

'I-I don't know Harry,' he said honestly because in truth he really didn't know. He knew that Harry was right about him needing a release and if his future had Harry in it, he had to consider it.

 

'Please can you trust me for once?' Harry begged him. 'I know what I'm doing Lou. Please?'

 

Louis looked unconvinced but said nothing. He was thinking too much and too much was going through his head. Harry was offering him a safe way to do this and if he wasn't such a coward he would thank him but he was torn. Harry was right. It would eventually escalate to the point where he wouldn't be able to control it and it would spiral into disaster. Harry was offering him something they could do together and both enjoy it. Harry was creating new memories for them and he was being a frightened little boy. Harry stood up and held his hand out to Louis.

 

'Come,' he told him. Louis looked up at him.

 

'Where?' he asked him. Harry grinned at him.

 

'Do you trust me?' Louis took in a deep breath and as he exhaled slowly, he stood up and placed his hand in Harry's. Harry smiled and headed towards the stairs, tugging Louis behind him. Harry stopped in front of his closed bedroom door and smiled at Louis who looked wide eyed up at him. Harry squeezed his hand, reassuring him. He pushed open the door and went inside, tugging Louis in behind him. As soon as Louis stepped in, he gasped out loudly and froze on the spot. Harry's double bed was neatly made, the blue duvet spread out perfectly. The curtains were drawn which made the room a little dark but Harry had lit candles everywhere, making the room look like a sanctuary of peace. Louis' eyes fell on his chains and leather cuffs that where attached to the headboard and bed legs. On the duvet, he saw other items laid out neatly : his belt, the vibrating butt plug, the handcuffs, cock rings, blindfold, dildos and vibrators that Marc had given him. On the bedside table there was lube, tissues and wet wipes. Harry watched him carefully as Louis took in every thing laid out before him before he took a few steps backwards and his back collided with the closed door.

 

'Harry what the fuck are you doing?' Louis growled out, his fingers curling into fists by his side. He was shaking because Harry was playing with fire here.

 

'Louis its alright,' Harry reassured him. 'Relax.'

 

'No it is not fucking alright!' Louis growled. 'And I won't fucking relax! Why are you doing this to me? Those are my fucking things!!! I got rid of everything yet you...you...what the fuck?' Louis' eyes were wild and frantic as he looked from Harry to the bed and all the things on it, his mind running wild with want and need but torn between doing it and not doing it. Still, his need was much stronger and it was stirring in him and he was so afraid of hurting Harry. What if the way Harry wanted it wasn't enough for Louis? What if once Harry was tied down, Louis wanted to hurt him? What if he got lost inside his mind while Harry yelled for him to stop but he wouldn't hear him and just hurt him? Louis shook his head. Harry moved closer to him.

 

'Hey Louis hey don't be afraid,' Harry told him.

 

'Stay the fuck away from me,' Louis spat at him and for a moment Harry felt offended and hurt that he was trying his best yet Louis was still going up against him. 'How the fuck are my things even here?' Louis asked him hysterically. 'I got rid of everything. I threw everything out.'

 

'When I was packing to move out here, I found these things in my closet and I didn't know if I was supposed to send them in with the other boxes I sent you, you know in case they fell in the wrong hands so I packed them with my stuff,' Harry explained. Louis gulped and swallowed, still pretty thrown off and shaken by what Harry was suggesting, his eyes occasionally flicking from Harry to the bed and Harry could not miss the look of yearning in his eyes.

 

'Why are you doing this?' Louis asked him in a pleading voice.

 

'Because I love you and because you need to over come your fears. You have been doing so well tackling one fear at a time baby now this is your last one. You over come this, you will be free of your fears. Like the great Jim Morrison used to say : expose yourself to your deepest fear, after that, fear has no power and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.' Harry caressed Louis' cheek. 'Louis, you are nothing like HIM and you are going to show yourself that you are not. And you are going to stop being afraid of the one time you hurt me. We, together are going to over come that.' Louis looked at him, his eyes wide because this boy was so strong and he was being strong for him yet he was weak and afraid.

 

'Harry, t-the reason I gave all that up is that I-I w-wanted to stop doing this.....'

 

'But you can't can you?' Harry taunted him. 'Your first instinct after you told me all about your past was to beat the shit out of someone wasn't it? To turn your shame and vulnerability into power and control over someone and show yourself you are in control.'

 

Louis looked down, his face burning with shame because how did Harry know him inside out like this? Harry put a long finger under his chin and lifted Louis' face till their eyes met.

 

'I know what you need Louis and I am here to help you get it. Its alright. I trust you,' Harry told him. He knew that Louis needed that one final push because Harry had already seen his surrender in his clear blue eyes. Harry stepped back from Louis, never breaking eye contact and quickly stripped down to his boxers. He moved to the foot of the bed and got down to his submissive pose, on his knees, sitting back on his heels, head bowed, eyes down. Louis gasped.

 

'Whenever you are ready Sir,' Harry told him in a soft voice and Louis felt all his resolve melt and fade away. How could he fight him when Harry was on his knees before him? How could he say no when every part of him wanted to say yes? How could he turn away from this when it was turning him on even though he was still torn in two?

 

And that was when he felt it, his old self coming back, surfacing. He felt his need to over take Harry. He felt his control creeping back into him and for the first time in the past few days, he felt like himself but with a slight difference. As he swallowed and willed himself to move further into the room, he knew that there was no anger in him or need for violence. He didn't feel the need to beat Harry just because he was angry and mad and needed to force himself on this helpless boy. He wanted to do this Harry's way and he was going to prove that he could do it, that he was past being the angry sadist man that he had been before this angel found him. There were no walls now between them. They were both bare to each other.

 

'Are you sure about this Harry?' Louis asked him.

 

'I am Sir. Very much,' Harry replied. Louis let out a breath he hadn't even known he had been holding. He told himself that this was a role he was playing now. He tentatively walked closer to Harry.

 

'What are your colors Harry?' Louis asked him. Louis wanted to test him and maybe give him time to chicken out of this. Harry smiled to himself, knowing Louis couldn't see him because he had broken his resolve and got him right where he wanted him.

 

'Green : go ahead. Yellow : I am close to reaching my limit and Red : stop,' Harry said his voice firm. Louis sighed. He had to admit that his boy was good and he had thought of everything just to help him. Louis felt an immense huge love for Harry and he knew that he wouldn't hurt him. He would fucking control himself!

 

'Good boy,' Louis told him as he cautiously carded his fingers through Harry's short curls and tugged, making Harry purr and whine. Louis could not deny that he had missed this, had missed submissive Harry and he was overwhelmed that Harry knew exactly what he needed and he was going to try his hardest to make this an enjoyable experience for Harry and hopefully for himself, unless he freaked out and ran from the room.

 

'What do you want Harry?' Louis asked him still tugging at his hair.

 

'I-I n-need you to have control over me Sir,' Harry stammered out because he was already feeling aroused. He hadn't been touched by Louis for ages and he craved it and needed it. Louis felt his words go straight to his dick. God, this boy was amazing! Harry was submitting himself totally to him, giving Louis power and control over him. Louis pushed all his doubts and bad thoughts away. He wouldn't let them get in the way. He was going to concentrate on Harry and on doing this right for Harry and for himself. He would not entertain any thoughts of beating him for the anger he had inside him, for wanting to lash out at somebody for the pure pleasure of making them hurt just like he had been hurt. There was much love and trust in this and he wasn't going to let Harry down.

 

Louis took in a deep shuddering breath as he looked at Harry sitting in the most submissive form of submission ever, on his knees, head bowed and eyes down and Louis knew with certainty that this was Harry's greatest form of love towards him. Harry was giving him back his control and dignity and a chance to explore something that would help him. Louis could feel it inside of him that this was going to be different. This was not just some angry release he was after, he was not looking to hurt someone to make them pay for what had been done to him. This was love in its purest form.

 

'Get up,' he instructed and Harry was quick to stand on his legs, still keeping his eyes down. He had always been a natural sub! Louis placed his hand on Harry's lower back and gently pushed him forward towards the bed till he was right in front of it, facing the headboard.

 

'Bend over,' Louis ordered and Harry, already knowing the position he had to take, bent over at the waist, arms above his head.

 

'What's your color Harry?' Louis asked him.

 

'Green Sir,' Harry replied without hesitation. Louis nodded and walked to the head of the bed taking up the leather cuff and strapping it around Harry's delicate wrist. His insides fluttered. His mind tried to make him remember but Louis would not have it. He focused on Harry. He secured the leather cuff in place.

 

'Good?' he asked him.

 

'Yes Sir. Thank you,' Harry replied and Louis nearly fell to his knees at Harry's submission. He quickly fastened the other cuff around Harry's other wrist then moved to stand behind his bent form and took a moment to admire him, tied up, arms forward and spread, his back muscles all defined under his pale skin. He ran his hand down Harry's back, slowly, gently, softly watching as goosebumps broke out on Harry's flesh. Yes, he had missed his boy so much and he was eternally grateful that Harry was letting him do this.

 

'I am going to remove your boxers Harry. Is that alright?' Louis asked him.

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry whispered because he was already gone for Louis and his semi hard dick was pulsing beneath him begging to be touched. Louis hooked his fingers into Harry's boxers and ever so slowly he tugged them down his long legs and took them off. He then took one of Harry's ankles, stretching it to the side and fastening the cuff around it.

 

'Good?' Louis asked again and Harry replied in the affirmative. Louis proceeded to tie up his other ankle until Harry was spreadeagled on the bed. Louis took in a shuddering breath at his breathtaking boy.

 

'Color?' Louis asked hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion.

 

'Green Sir,' Harry was quick to reply. Louis walked round the bed, admiring Harry. He grabbed a pillow and tapped Harry's hip gently.

 

'Lift,' he ordered and Harry was quick to obey, lifting his hips off the bed as Louis placed the pillow beneath him. Harry hissed as he lowered himself back down, his dick pressing into the soft pillow. Louis looked at his perfect ass sticking higher in the air. He looked at the items on the bed, his eyes landing on the belt. It was in Harry's peripheral vision and Harry saw him reach out and take it. Involuntarily, his body stiffened, bracing himself for the first smack with the belt. He remembered it clearly how it landed on his flesh, the burn of the leather on his skin. His breathing picked up a little and Louis saw him tug nervously at his restrains.

 

'Color Harry,' Louis asked him.

 

'G-green S-Sir,' Harry stammered out. He knew Louis wouldn't hurt him this time round.

 

He's damaged. He's fucked up. He told you he might lose control if his memories get the best of him and consume him and you trusted him when he's not to be trusted. He's like a ticking bomb waiting to go off and if he does, he will beat the living shit out of you.

 

Harry swallowed thickly and refused to let his subconscious doubt his trust in Louis and throw shade on his intentions. Louis wouldn't! Louis would control himself.

 

Louis could see that Harry was panicking a little and he couldn't have him stressed out. After all the boy was doing for him, the last thing he wanted was for Harry to be uncomfortable. He knew that both of them had bad memories and he knew that even though Harry had told him to face his own fears, Harry was also facing his by allowing him to do this. Harry wanted to stop being afraid too and Louis was going to see to that. He tossed the belt in the corner of the room away from him.

 

'I will not use my belt on you Harry,' Louis told him as he caressed his back, feeling Harry relax immediately under his touch.

 

'Thank you Sir,' Harry replied, the relief evident in his voice. Louis winced because had he not decided not to use the belt, Harry was going to let him use it. That didn't sit well with Louis. He needed to know that Harry would not simply allow him to do things even though he didn't want them.

 

'Harry, you will stop me if I do something you don't like or that is uncomfortable for you right?' Louis asked him.

 

'Yes Sir I will,' Harry replied quickly. Louis nodded to himself and decided to trust Harry. He fell to his knees right behind Harry. His hands running over the swell of his bum, tracing the white scars his belt had left on his beautiful boy. He ran his finger over each and every one of them, taking his time, letting himself feel and face the pain of what he had done to Harry. He leaned forward and began placing kisses on each of the scars, making Harry squirm and whine.

 

'Not a sound,' Louis said, his lips on Harry's skin. 'Your father is in the room below us so be quiet.'

 

'Y-yes Sir,' Harry said and Louis knew that would be difficult because Harry was quite vocal. Louis continued to run his lips softly all over Harry's bum and back of his thighs, Harry pulling on the chains that bound his wrists. Without warning, Louis spread his bum cheeks and leaned in, licking a long stripe up Harry's crack and Harry whined loudly at the sudden sensation of Louis' tongue on him.

 

'Are you going to be naughty?' Louis asked him.

 

'So-sorry Sir I-I.....' but Harry didn't get to finish his sentence as he felt Louis' tongue on his hole. 'Oh God,' he moaned loudly. Suddenly, Louis' hand came down firmly on Harry's ass smacking him hard. It took Harry by surprise and he cried out.

 

'Going to be noisy are we?' Louis asked in his authoritative voice as he landed another smack on Harry's other cheek. Harry lurched forward on the bed, groaning. The sensation was wonderful. After not being touched for so long this was heaven. The way Louis smacked him making his dick brush against the pillow, it was too much.

 

'I-I'll be good Sir,' Harry promised him but he knew he wouldn't because he wanted more of this. It was crazy how it was turning him on, being submissive, tied up and having Louis spank him.

 

'Good boy,' Louis praised him as he lowered his head and got back to work on Harry's hole. He licked and sucked and Harry couldn't help himself.

 

'Oh God please L-Louis,' he groaned out. Another smack landed on his ass.

 

'What did you call me?' Louis asked him and he was enjoying this more than he thought it would be possible.

 

'Sir...I'm s-sorry Sir,' Harry was quick to say.

 

'Now be quiet and stand still,' Louis ordered but it was hard to stay quiet and stand still with Louis' tongue penetrating his hole. Harry's body stiffened when he felt Louis' tongue breach him. He pulled on the chains, rutting hard against the pillow and pushing his ass back on Louis' tongue.

 

'Stop being difficult,' Louis growled as he smacked him hard twice. Harry's vision blurred from the pleasure. He knew he could trust Louis. 'What's your color Harry?'

 

'G-green fucking green...Sir...oh my God,' Harry rasped out. Louis smiled against Harry's hole as he blew his warm breath on it, making Harry clench hard around nothing.

 

'Cursing now too? Wow you are really being naughty today,' Louis told him in a stern voice as he landed another two sharp smacks along with his finger inside Harry, making him scream out at the sudden unexpected intrusion but Harry was quick to bury his face in the duvet beneath him to muffle his cries of ecstasy because yeah his father was just below them. Louis continued to finger him while smacking his ass for all the sounds he was making.

 

'S-Sir I-I'm c-close Sir p-please,' Harry begged in a tearful voice.

 

'Don't you fucking dare come,' Louis warned him as he began pushing in a second finger inside Harry. Harry bit his lip hard as he felt the stretch of another finger being pushed inside of him. His dick was so hard it was painful but he wouldn't let Louis down. He wouldn't come until he was told to. Louis continued to finger him steadily, little moans escaping Harry's mouth. Occasionally, Louis would smack his bum and he couldn't deny the pleasure it was giving him. Harry's bum was warm and pink and he placed kisses on the flaming skin while continuing to finger him.

 

Harry's body was screaming for release. He could feel Louis everywhere. His body was on fire and he longed for Louis inside of him and for Louis to give him permission to come. It was getting harder to hold it but he would. For Louis he would do anything. Just then, Louis stopped touching him. His fingers left his hole and Harry came somewhat back to his senses. He felt Louis lean over him, kissing between his shoulder blades.

 

'You have been so good for me Harry, just a little naughty but good nonetheless. What do you want now Harry? Tell me,' Louis asked him sweetly, caressing his hair. Harry was trying to even out his breathing.

 

'I-I want you inside me Sir, please. I need to feel you and I need to come,' Harry whined. Louis kissed his cheek.

 

'Just because you said please so politely,' Louis told him, placing another kiss to his shoulders and straightening up. He walked towards the bed side table and took the lube then want back to standing behind Harry. He removed his clothes and boxers and slicked up his hard dick that was leaking heavily. Louis was anticipating this. He hadn't made love to his boy in ages and he was determined to make the best love to him and show him his love and gratitude for everything. This was the first time they were making love without any boundaries or secrets between them. Louis lined himself up with Harry's hole and took a hold of his hips.

 

'Color?' he asked making sure Harry still wanted this.

 

'Green Sir green,' Harry told him impatiently and Louis chuckled as he began sliding himself inside Harry. Louis closed his eyes and hissed as he felt himself going into his boy. Harry gripped a fistful of the duvet as Louis entered him. It had been so long since he felt him inside him and he had missed him. Harry hissed at the stretch and burn but he relaxed beneath Louis allowing him entrance. Finally Louis was fully inside him.

 

'Alright?' Louis asked him.

 

'Y-yes please Sir please,' Harry whined. Louis leaned over, his chest resting against Harry's back and Harry moaned loudly as he felt Louis shift inside of him, going in deeper. 'Oh God,' Harry breathed. 'I love you so much Louis.' And Louis smiled not caring that Harry had called him by his first name and he felt his heart swell and grow.

 

'And I love you,' Louis replied as he pulled out almost all the way and sunk back into Harry's warm tight heat. Harry began to rock back and forth to Louis' rhythm and soon they were both panting and out of breath.

 

'Harder Louis please,' Harry begged him as he pulled at the damn chains that bound his wrists. Louis stood up and gripped Harry's hips tightly and pounded into the boy beneath him. Harry could feel his orgasm building and getting closer, the warmth and tug in his abdomen pulling him to the edge.

 

'I-I'm close,' he whispered.

 

'Not yet,' Louis panted out. Louis went faster and harder feeling his own orgasm reaching its peak. When he felt really close, he whispered to Harry :

 

'Come for me sweetheart.' And Harry came undone into the pillow beneath him, his hips stuttering as he shot his load hot and hard. The moment Louis felt him clench hard around him, Harry's body shaking, he spilled inside Harry with a loud groan.

 

'Fuck baby,' he hissed. 'Oh my fucking God I love you so fucking much.' They moved together for a few more minutes until both of them rode out their orgasms and Harry lay limp and still on the bed, his eyes closed, breathing fast and hard. Louis quickly pulled out of him and went to undo the wrist cuffs that bound Harry. Then knelt down to untie his ankles and no sooner had he done so, Harry's knees buckled and he slid off the bed on to the carpet but Louis was there to catch him and pull him in his lap.

 

'I got you baby,' Louis cooed at a passed out Harry. He kissed his forehead and cheeks, holding him close. He could feel his beating heart, jack rabbiting against his rib cage and Louis wanted to cry because he loved this human being so much. Harry had trusted him and he had trusted himself and he had not hurt him. And for the very first time in ages, Louis felt relieved. He felt no anger and no hate. He felt peace inside and it was all thanks to this beautiful angel who had found a way to fight off his demons and bring him peace. Louis felt the tears roll down his cheeks as he continued to hold Harry close and kiss his face while rubbing his wrists to get the circulation back. Harry's eyes fluttered open and he gave Louis a small tired smile as soon as their eyes met.

 

'Hi,' Louis told him in his gentlest voice ever as he placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Hi,' Harry croaked out.

 

'How are you feeling?' Louis asked him still rubbing his wrists and placing kisses all over his face.

 

'Good,' Harry smiled as his eyes slipped closed again. 'Tired. Blissful. Sated.' Louis let out a laugh.

 

'I love you,' he told him. Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis.

 

'How are you?' Are you alright?' Louis took a moment before he replied.

 

'I'm good Harry. Thank you for this. I feel much better and .....' he paused as he stroked Harry's hair back. 'It feels different. I feel relieved in ways I was never before. When I did it with my boys, afterwards I was still full of anger and hate. But this....I feel at peace Harry. Thank you baby,' Louis told him as he kissed him gently. Harry smiled.

 

'I'm so proud of you. I told you it would work,' Harry told him, his voice slow from tiredness.

 

'Yeah you did. Thank you for trusting me so much,' Louis told him. Harry grinned at him.

 

'You're welcome. I have complete faith in you. I need to get on the bed though. My ass burns.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Come on then. You earned a good cuddle and a nap.' Louis helped Harry to the bed. He pulled off the duvet and helped him lie down. He got up behind him, spooning him, their naked bodies flush against each other. Louis pulled the duvet over them and held his beloved boy as he fell asleep in his arms and he stayed awake, listening to Harry's soft breathing and realizing that for the first time ever, he maybe could actually be alright and for once in his long life be normal.

 

Hope you liked that. If you have any questions regarding this chapter or any back stories just drop them here. Chapter 26 coming soon.


	26. You Hold My Heart In The Palm Of Your Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, sorry I took a while to update. Some stuff I had no control over happened and I couldn't update. I do apologize for keeping you waiting but now here is the next chapter. Hope you like it.  
> All the love, M.

You Hold My Heart In The Palm of Your Hand.

 

 

Christmas Eve was a very busy day for Harry which was why he left his warm bed and Louis early in the morning. He had a lot of things do to and to prepare. It was Louis' birthday and he wanted to make today as special for him as could be. Harry made his way downstairs quietly not wanting to wake Louis up just yet. He felt tired. Louis' nightmares were depriving them both from sleep. Ever since the night Harry had managed to convince Louis to touch him and make love to him, Louis had somewhat been a little better but the nightmares where still bad. They hadn't made love again since that night but they had been sleeping in the same bed, Louis wanting and needing to be held and Harry had obliged but the nightmares attacked Louis regardless no matter how tightly Harry held him. He screamed and trashed and begged for it to stop and all Harry could do was gather him in his arms, hold him tightly to his chest and chase his demons away.

 

He went into the kitchen, flicked the lights on and set about making himself a cuppa. He looked at the clock on the kitchen wall and it read eight am. As Harry sipped his tea, he decided to call Anthony. He knew that Louis wouldn't call him so he had to do it himself if he was to help Louis get any better. He got up, taking with him his mug and went into the living room where the phone was. Harry secretly knew that he needed his phone back and made a mental note to ask Louis if he still had it and if he could have it back. He sat and dialed Anthony's number not really bothering that it was eight in the morning. Anthony was always early at his office so since this was an important matter, he needed to do it now. Anthony picked up after the second ring.

 

'Hello?' he said into the phone.

 

'Hello Anthony, its Harry,' Harry said.

 

'Oh hello Harry. How are you?' Anthony asked him.

 

'I think I am alright Anthony but Louis isn't and I need your help. I apologize for calling so early but it is important.'

 

'What happened?' Anthony inquired. Harry sat back and told Anthony all that had happened since he left London up to when Louis turned up on his doorstep and took him to Doncaster. Harry went on to tell Anthony the effects all of this had left on Louis and what could he do to help him over come it. Anthony sighed.

 

'So he finally let you in. I am so glad he finally did this Harry and I am very proud of him. You are the only person besides myself that he has let in and he had no choice in letting me in because I am his therapist. I am happy he has finally took this step with you and I understand how difficult and hard it must be for you to see him the way he is which is all normal I am afraid. Louis has been subjected to horrific trauma that lasted for years. I am honestly so happy he has found you Harry. Now as for helping him, I am going to help you help him alright. First of all we must get him back on his medications.'

 

'Is that necessary?' Harry asked him.

 

'I am afraid so Harry. He needs his medications. He needs to sleep. If he doesn't, it will exhaust him to the point where he will feel frustrated and overwhelmed and you won't be able to help him if it gets out of hand. It will tire you as well. He needs his bipolar medication to help him balance his moods out. Besides these, all he needs is a lot of love, patience, reassurances and safety. Safety to Louis is monumental. All his life he has never felt safe so keep him safe Harry. Create a safe enviornment for him. I understand he has put his house on the market yes?'

 

'Yes,' Harry confirmed.

 

'Will you be choosing a new home together?' Anthony asked him.

 

'Yes. That's what Louis wants,' Harry told him.

 

'Is it what you want too Harry? Are you up for a life with Louis after all that he told you?' Anthony asked him. Harry was silent for a beat.

 

'Of course I am Anthony. He's my life. I would never dream of going through life without him. His past isn't what he is,' Harry replied firmly. Anthony smiled.

 

'That's good Harry. He needs stability. As do you. Now, might I suggest that when you go together to choose your new home, choose one that offers safety, comfort and a sense of well being. Let me offer you a word of advice: avoid houses with basements Harry. Basements don't hold nice memories for either of you.'

 

'We will Anthony. How do I get his prescriptions?'

 

'I will email you everything alright. Print it out and go to your local chemist. You shouldn't have any problem getting his medications.'

 

'Thank you so much Anthony. Gotta go. Its his thirty first birthday today and I want to make it special for him.' Anthony laughed.

 

'Have fun spoiling him and wish him a very happy birthday from me. He never liked his birthday so I hope you will both have a fantastic day. Keep me up to date on his progress and I expect to see you both in my office on your return to London.'

 

'You will. Merry Christmas,' Harry told him as he hung up. Harry felt relieved now that had a way to help Louis. He pushed himself up off the couch and went back into the kitchen. He decided to take care of his father first, maybe spread some Christmas cheer to him and get him into a better mood and maybe soften him up a little. After all it was Christmas! The season to be jolly and spread the love and cheer. Harry began whistling Christmas carols to himself as he prepared his father's breakfast. Louis could do with some more sleep after the restless night he had had so he took his time with his father.

 

'Good morning dad,' Harry said cheerfully as he pushed his bedroom door open, holding a tray with his breakfast. His dad was still in bed watching the telly and did not acknowledge Harry's presence at all as he bustled around the room. Harry threw the curtains open letting a weak white light into the dim room.

 

'Look dad its still snowing. Isn't it lovely that we get a white Christmas?' Harry said happily, conversing with his father even though he was totally ignoring him. 'We will be having Marge and her family over here tomorrow for a nice Christmas lunch. Marge cooked so many things it's like she's feeding an army! Is there something special you would like to wear tomorrow? I can set everything out for you,' Harry told him as he walked over to his dad's bed and handed him his tablet so he could communicate with him. Des looked at him with hatred and snatched the tablet with his good hand. Harry watched him type then when he finished he peeked at the tablet.

 

"Get the fuck out of my sight and take your fucking boyfriend with you. You both make me sick. When are you going to understand that I can't fucking stand you?"

 

Harry bit his lip and swallowed hard, feeling the tears rim his eyes but he choked them down and gave his dad a small smile.

 

'It's Christmas dad. Can you maybe pretend to like me just a bit for Christmas please?' Harry asked him in a small voice. Des typed furiously.

 

"I'd rather die! Why couldn't you be like Marge's son Barry? He's a fucking man, married with kids and then there's you....look at you! A disgrace and a mistake. You are nothing but a mistake! I should have never given in to your mother when she wanted a baby. I never wanted kids but she did and because I loved your mother so much, I gave her what she wanted and look what we ended up with! A faggot! A sissy! I don't know what your mother and I ever did so wrong to deserve you."

 

'Don't bring mum into it!' Harry said through gritted teeth as the tears rolled down his cheeks. He hated that he always cried in front of his father. He hated that he looked weak in front of him but his father's hateful words broke him every time. 'Mum loved me. She wanted me and she accepted me and she loved me. Don't lie about her.'

 

"Yeah keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better but just know that she was disappointed in you. She hid it because its what mother's do! She never dreamed of having a faggot for a son. She wanted grand babies and you deprived her of that, you freak show. Now get the fuck out of my room and the less I see you, the better."

 

Harry felt those words go straight to his heart. It wasn't true! His mother had loved him and had accepted him. His father was bitter because his mother had fallen out with her own husband to protect him! His father hated that his mother loved him more than she did him and he wouldn't let his father make him doubt his mother. Harry would not let his father make his mother look bad in his eyes. Harry knew that she had loved him without a single doubt and he held her love for him close to his heart. Harry said nothing further. He quickly fed his father and changed his clothes. He sat him in the wheelchair and made the bed, then exited the room, letting out a long drawn breath. Harry knew that nothing would ever change his father's mind about him and nothing he ever did would make his father love him or accept him or make him proud of him. He quickly wiped his eyes and went into the kitchen to make Louis' birthday breakfast. Today was a special day and he won't let his father ruin it for Louis.

 

Harry set to work making pancakes for Louis and fresh fruit and orange juice and tea. He was excited for today. He wanted today to be special for Louis. He put everything on a tray and before he went up to their bedroom, Harry stopped in the lounge and put the card and present that he had gotten Louis on the tray, then he made his way upstairs. He softly opened the door and was glad to see that Louis was still sleeping soundly. Last night's nightmares had taken a lot out of him, so no wonder he was sleeping deeply. Harry placed the tray on the dresser and walked towards the bed. Louis was on his back, the duvet tucked up under his chin. He was breathing softly, his fringe over his eyes. When Louis slept, he looked younger and Harry thought he looked angelic. Maybe it was because when he slept peacefully, all his troubles were forgotten and his face lost it's tense look. He really didn't want to wake him and watch him struggle through another day but today it was his thirty first birthday and Harry was going to do everything in his power to give Louis a great day.

 

'Louis,' Harry called out softly to him as he caressed his cheek ever so gently. 'Louis baby.....' Louis' eyelashes fluttered and he bolted away from Harry to the other side of the bed, moving away from Harry.

 

'Don't touch me! Dad please I've been good. I just need to sleep. I'm tired dad please,' Louis said pulling the duvet over him, gripping it tightly.

 

'Louis its me, honey. Its Harry baby,' Harry told him quickly, wanting to calm him but not touch him. Louis blinked a few times then focused on Harry's face, Harry's voice then Harry watched him sigh in relief and relax as he recognized who he was.

 

'Sorry,' he muttered as he rubbed his face. His eyes were red and swollen from sleep, his voice raspy.

 

'Its alright sweetheart,' Harry told him, sitting down on the bed next to him. 'Happy birthday Louis.' He gave him a dimpled smile to help ease him out of his nightmare. Louis blinked at Harry again then he remembered that it was his birthday.

 

'Oh, thank you,' he said quietly and not looking happy at all. Harry scooted closer to him on the bed.

 

'Hey, its your birthday today and we're going to celebrate....'

 

'Harry don't make such a big deal out of it,' Louis told him a little harshly but Harry wasn't going to let him spoil the day. It was his birthday and they were going to have a great day.

 

'It is a big deal Lou. It's your first birthday with me so yeah its a big deal to me and I want us to celebrate it,' Harry told him happily. Louis huffed but said nothing. He couldn't deny Harry celebrating his birthday. Guess he could pretend for his sake. Harry got up off the bed and went to get Louis' breakfast tray. He removed the card and gift off the tray, leaving them for later. He took the tray to Louis and placed it on his lap.

 

'Special breakfast for you,' Harry told him cheerfully and Louis reminded himself to give him a smile because Harry deserved it. Harry was happy and Louis could see the effort he was making so he couldn't, wouldn't spoil it for him.

 

'Thank you,' Louis told him as he sat up and looked at the food on the tray. He wasn't really hungry but he was going to make an effort and eat....for Harry. Louis took a gulp of hot tea then started nibbling on the food. Harry could clearly see that Louis wasn't in the mood to celebrate but he wasn't going to be put off. He would coax him into it. Louis needed a lot of coaxing and he deserved to celebrate his birthday. Harry watched him play around with his food and it saddened him to the core that no matter what he did he couldn't help Louis.

 

'Hey,' Harry told him softly, 'its alright if you're not hungry. You don't have to eat it all.' Louis gave him a small smile and pushed the tray away.

 

'I'm so sorry Harry,' he said softly and he looked down, not wanting to see the disappointment in Harry's eyes. Harry took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

 

'Its alright baby. You don't have to apologize. I-I called Anthony,' Harry said quietly, internally bracing himself for Louis to yell and tell him to mind his own damn business but Louis remained quiet. Harry squeezed his fingers gently. 'He emailed me the prescription for your medications. They will make you better Lou.' Louis looked at him and gave him another weak smile.

 

'Thank you Harry,' he said softly and Harry was amazed that Louis wasn't putting up a fight. Harry got up off the bed and picked up the card and gift. He handed them to Louis and watched his eyes grow a little wider and his mouth open into a small little "O".

 

'What's all this?' he asked him surprised and Harry smiled.

 

'Your birthday present,' Harry informed him, stating the obvious. Louis swallowed, his hands shaking. He remembered the last birthday, the last card and presents he had opened......he had just turned eight....He closed his eyes and tried to shut down the memories out of his troubled mind. He opened the envelope and pulled out the card. It was a simple card that said "Happy Birthday to the One I Love." Louis felt a lump form in his throat. He was already emotional and this was the last thing he needed. He opened the card and read the writing inside "To a new chapter together. To many more to come. This is just the first of many. I love you today, tomorrow and always, for the rest of my life. Wishing you a great birthday. All the love H." Louis' vision blurred as the tears pooled in his eyes. He looked at Harry who was sitting beside him, smiling at him.

 

'Harry,' he choked out and Harry was quick to wrap him in his arms and pull him close, hugging him tightly.

 

'I got you,' he told him as he placed a kiss on his head. 'I love you Louis. Please believe that and I'm not leaving you. I'm here for good baby.' Louis gripped him tightly. Right now, Harry was the life line that was keeping him from drowning. 'Open your present,' Harry urged him. Louis pulled back and sniffed. He ripped the wrapping paper off the small box and he gasped when he saw the black velvet box with Gucci stamped on it in silver letters. His hands began to shake. He opened the lid and gasped when he saw the ring nestled inside it, resting on the white satin. It was a plain white gold band with an engraving on it. Louis pulled it out and it read "Blind For Love" on the outside and on the inside next to the Gucci engraving it said :"Infinity." Louis looked at him, searching Harry's face for the meaning of this.

 

'Well,' Harry told him, 'we are nearing our first year mark. Come January 15th it will be a year since I met you at Garland's. Everyday I thank my lucky stars that Adam sent me to VIP that day.' Harry stopped and smiled to himself recalling the memory of the first time he had laid eyes on Louis. He licked his lips and continued: 'We have been through so much you and I feel that we have come a long way together and over came many obstacles but so far we haven't given upon each other and I'd like to think that we won't give up on each other and that we can continue being there for each other, learning from each other and helping each other to grow. This, if you accept it, is my promise to you, that I am here to stay. I promise that I won't leave you even when push me away, I won't get discouraged when you put up your walls and I won't leave you alone in your darkest of times. Like I told you before, I am here for the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the painful, the sad and the happy and I hope I am proving myself to you that I am loyal and mean what I say. You gave me your ring at our sixth month mark and I'm giving mine to you on our one year mark. Will you wear my ring Louis?'

 

Louis looked at Harry with absolute adoration in his tearful blue eyes and his lower lip trembled. He bit his lip hard and swallowed. It was hard for him to get emotional in front of someone but this was Harry. His Harry! 'Oh Harry,' he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. 'A-are you sure y-you want all of this?' Louis asked him doubtfully indicating himself. Harry cupped his face in both his large hands and pulled him closer.

 

'I am sure Louis. I have never been more sure than anything in my life. I'm in for the long haul,' Harry whispered. Louis blinked and a few tears escaped his eyes, rolling down on to his cheeks.

 

'I-I'm so damaged Harry,' he choked out. Harry gave him a small smile as he wiped his tears away with his thumbs.

 

'Its alright baby. Aren't we all a little? We will heal together yeah? Our love will heal us both. You will never have to face this alone ever again. I'm with you. I will always be with you no matter what. Its you and me yeah and we will do this because I have faith in you that you will over come this. What you've been through, nobody should ever go through that. No child should ever suffer what you have suffered but you are a survivor Louis. You fought and you held on and here you are, thirty one years old today, well established, loved and adored by me. We will be fine Louis. Trust in that. Please.' Louis swallowed again as more tears fell from his eyes.

 

'I love you Harry. I love you so much. Yes, I will proudly wear your ring,' he told him, giving Harry a smile and Harry beamed at him as he pecked his lips and placed the ring on the fourth finger of his right hand. Louis looked down at it and hugged his palm to his chest.

 

'Wait here,' he told Harry as he hopped off the bed and hurried out of the room. Harry looked after him a little confused but Louis was back and on the bed beside him in a heartbeat.

 

'Here,' Louis told him. 'I think you might what this back.' Louis held Harry's ring in the palm of his hand. Harry smiled at him and took the ring, placing it on his fourth right hand finger.

 

'I missed it,' he told Louis.

 

'I missed us,' Louis replied as he leaned closer to Harry and Harry's body instantly vibrated with anticipation. Louis captured his lips in a gentle kiss as he pushed Harry down on the bed and climbed on top of him. Harry relaxed into the mattress, loving the feel of Louis' weight on him, of his warm body. Their kiss deepened the moment Louis slipped his tongue inside Harry's mouth. Harry moaned in the back his throat, his fingers digging into Louis' waist, his hips lifting up slightly to rut against Louis.

 

'I want you,' Louis whispered in his mouth. Harry kissed him softly.

 

'I'm yours Lou. Take me,' Harry whispered back. Ever so slowly they undressed each other, taking their time, touching, feeling, rediscovering each other. Light fingers on hot skin, touches as gentle as feathers, lips grazing each others skin. They were both hard and ready and when Louis positioned himself at Harry's entrance and began to push inside him ever so slowly, they both held each other tightly, rocking together at the same rhythm, becoming one as the snow continued to fall silently in the early morning. They hadn't made love like this for a while. It was slow and soft, deep and meaningful, connecting, both of them putting their love into each other with every kiss, every touch, every thrust, breathing heavily into each others mouths, their foreheads touching, eyes fixed on each other. They both felt their orgasms nearing, building and reaching its peak. It was Harry who came first, arching his back off the mattress to get closer to Louis, throwing his head back, eyes closed, fingers clawing at Louis' back, his heels digging into Louis' bum to pull him in deeper inside of him.

 

'Gooood Louis Louis Louis,' he whined out as he shot his hot cum between them. Louis continued to thrust into him, feeling Harry clench around him hard and tight, his body quivering from the effects of his orgasm and it was too much for Louis, the emotions inside his heart and the sensations from Harry's body. He came inside his beautiful boy and he felt as if he was pouring all his love inside Harry.

 

'I love you so much Harry,' Louis whispered in a shaky voice as he continued to spill inside Harry who was pliant and trembling slightly beneath him.

 

'And I you,' Harry replied breathlessly. When Louis was done, he remained inside Harry, loving his velvet warmth around him. He kissed him gently and ever so softly while Harry held him as if he was holding delicate china in his hands. Louis looked down into Harry's eyes and gave him a smile.

 

'Thank you for loving me. I know its not easy for you to love me but you do it so wonderfully and so perfectly.' Harry ran his fingers through Louis' messy fringe.

 

'You are not that hard to love Lou. You think you are but you are not. You are very worth loving and I will do it for a very long time if you'll let me,' Harry told him, running his fingers down Louis' cheeks and over his beard. It was Louis' turn to smile.

 

'I won't stand in your way sweetheart.' They both laughed together, kissing each others face. Louis pulled out of Harry gently, watching his boy wince a little and lay back on the bed, Harry instantly sliding into his arms, placing his head on his chest, listening to Louis' heart as it thump thumped softly.

 

'So what do you want to do today?' Harry asked him. He felt Louis shrug.

 

'I don't really care. I have you and that's all that matters. So far its been the greatest birthday ever. Usually I'm just a grumpy fuck and just spend the day in the office then go to Garlands....' Louis stopped. He really didn't want to bring up Garlands with Harry.

 

'It's alright Lou,' Harry reassured him. 'Don't feel about about it.' Louis rubbed Harry's arm up and down.

 

'Harry,' he said, whispering his name, 'what you did for me the other night, you know with tying you up and that, well as much as I appreciate it, I don't want that to become a habit with us. I don't want to be angry anymore. I don't want to exercise that anymore. I mean, we can play sometimes but I don't want it to become a necessity to me. I want to move on from that.' Harry traced circles on Louis' skin.

 

'I know and I don't want it to become a habit with us either. Secretly, I needed that too. I...I um needed to confront my own fear too Lou, that of being tied down like....' Harry stopped trying to choose the right words and not wanting to upset Louis.

 

'Say it Harry. I don't want us to tiptoe around each other anymore,' Louis encouraged him. Harry sighed.

 

'I needed to go through it again, what you did to me when you raped me. It was the only way I knew that I could come to terms with it by being in that same position again but having a different out come. When you went for the belt, I felt the fear claw at me. I was beginning to panic. I remembered the pain of that night but I knew I could trust you and I'm glad I did. Its how we start healing. Facing our fears then letting them go.' Louis smiled sadly.

 

'You know Harry, I have been trying for longer to face my fears, to come to terms with all this that I have been through. I was trying on my own,' Louis told him. Harry looked up at him.

 

'You have?' Louis nodded.

 

'Remember when we were in L.A and you allowed me to touch you for the first time since the rape?' Harry nodded. 'Well, remember the next morning when I allowed you to fuck my mouth? That was the first time I was allowing myself to come face to face with one of my fears. I-I had so many fuck my mouth, so many force themselves down my throat and choke me on their cum. I vowed I would never let anyone else do that to me. When I was a whore and I gave blow jobs, I was always in control. I took in as much as I wanted, not more. I swallowed if I chose to not because they made me. So when it came to you, well I wanted to try but I was unsuccessful. I made a mess of it because the memories came back. I was back in my room when he did it to me the first time. Obviously I had to hide it well from you or you would've asked so many questions.'

 

'I'm so sorry Lou,' Harry told him. 'If I'd known.....'

 

'But you didn't. I was trying to fight my demons but I'm not that strong.'

 

'You are,' Harry was quick to contradict him. 'You are stronger than you think Louis.' Louis smiled and kissed the top of his head.

 

'With you beside me I am and I will get better for you Harry. I swear. Starting now,' Louis told him with a cheeky grin as he flipped them over and he had Harry on his back and he rested on top of him, looking into his startled and amused green eyes. 'Ready for round two?' Louis asked him and before Harry could reply, Louis crashed his mouth to his, kissing him deeply, his tongue finding it's way into Harry's warm mouth. Harry moaned because he loved it when Louis took control. Louis moved on him, grinding his hips down on Harry, wanting to make him hard again and it didn't take long for Harry to get right where Louis wanted him. Louis pulled back from the kiss and looked into Harry's eyes.

 

'Now you are going to fuck my mouth,' Louis ordered, a glint in his eyes.

 

'Louis...' Harry began to protest but Louis placed his index finger on Harry's lips.

 

'Its my birthday. I thought you wanted it to be a special day for me,' Louis told him. Harry smiled at him.

 

'I do. I want it to be special.' Louis pecked his lips.

 

'Then please fuck my mouth. Consider it a birthday present.' Harry chuckled.

 

'Anything you want,' Harry told him. Louis smirked at him.

 

'Ready for professional head?' Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'Let's see what you got birthday boy,' Harry taunted him. Before he had finished his words, Louis was down on him, taking him fully into his mouth, making Harry gasp and fist the sheets in his fingers, arching his back off the bed, mewling as Louis sucked hard, his tongue twirling round his swollen head and dipping hard into his slit.

 

'Oh God,' he moaned out as Louis worked on him. Harry had to admit that he was good, even better than before. He felt Louis tap his hip impatiently and he knew that that was his que. Harry thrust his hips up into Louis' face without reserve, causing his dick to slide down further Louis' throat and Louis took him. Harry began thrusting up into Louis' mouth and it was heaven. He closed his eyes and felt Louis' throat contact around him, taking him further in and Harry knew he wasn't going to last. He was still sensitive from his first orgasm and he knew that Louis would pull another one out of him with ease.

 

'I-I'm c-close Louis. I-I'm oh God Lou....fuck,' Harry whined as Louis sucked him harder making him spill inside his mouth, right down his throat. Harry quivered beneath Louis' mouth and when Louis pulled off of him, he was breathless. Louis climbed back on top of him.

 

'You taste incredible and not a drop spilled,' Louis told him, kissing him to make Harry taste himself on his tongue and Harry hummed and kissed him back. Harry closed his eyes and enjoyed having Louis like this.

 

'You're amazing,' Harry whispered. Louis continued to kiss him softly, gently while running his fingers through his thick short curls.

 

'You are amazing yourself,' Louis whispered against his jaw as he ran his nose up to Harry's ear, then placed soft kisses there. Harry shivered. 'So what do you have planned for me today then?' Louis asked him, still placing kisses down his neck and up again. Harry sighed contentedly. He was content for many reasons but mostly because today Louis was better and he didn't know how long it would last but he was determined to enjoy it and if Louis slipped and went back into the darkness, Harry would be there to bring him back. One day at a time. Step by step.

 

'First and foremost, birthday boy, we need to get up. We are going out.' Harry told him as he made to get up but Louis held him tightly.

 

'Its my birthday! Can't we just stay in bed all day long? I'm sure we can keep each other entertained,' Louis told him, giving him a wink then attacking his face with kitten kisses. Harry squirmed in his arms like an eel.

 

'No stop it!' he giggled trying to get away from Louis and his kiss attack. 'We are getting up and going out. I want to take you for a walk and down town.' Louis tackled him to the bed and straddled him, tickling him making Harry squirm harder.

 

'I want to stay in bed with you all day and make love to you,' Louis told him, digging his fingers in Harry's ribs. Harry giggled harder and squirmed trying to push Louis off him.

 

'Stop it! Stop it you moron! Get off!' Harry panted out. 'I can't breathe Louis stop.' Immediately, as soon as Louis heard the word "stop", he got off him and gave him a startled look.

 

'Do you need your inhaler?' he asked him seriously. Harry blinked while trying to catch his breath.

 

'What? No,' he told him when he realized what Louis was saying. 'No baby no it's not like that. I'm just very ticklish. Did I scare you?' Louis let out a deep breath.

 

'For a minute yeah you did. I um saw your inhalers in the bathroom and I....'

 

'I'm fine Louis. I'm good alright. Come on, lets go shower.' This time Louis did not protest and he let Harry guide him into the bathroom where they had a long hot shower and he got gifted a birthday blow job. He was feeling very spoiled today! By the time they left the bathroom, Louis felt relaxed and somewhat happy. He felt a new sense of reassurance that maybe it will all be alright and that maybe he would make it through this after all. They got dressed in warm clothes, stopping every few minutes to give each other kisses. When they were done, they headed downstairs, put on their shoes and headed out. Louis stopped on the doorstep and inhaled the cold, crisp morning air. It was snowing and everywhere was covered in white. Harry looked at him with a fond smile.

 

'Alright?' he asked him and Louis smiled back as he tucked his hands into his jacket pockets seeking warmth.

 

'Yeah. Yeah I am. Its a beautiful day,' he told Harry and Harry kissed him because he was happy that at least today, Louis was allowing himself to have a good day. Harry hugged him tightly and whispered into his ear :

 

'So brave. I am so proud of you.' And Louis hugged him back tighter because Harry was his strength. Harry was his light and Harry was everything good in his life and Louis thanked God that he had found him. Harry took his hand and together they went for a walk, the snow softly falling around them, turning the world a lovely shade of white. Harry took him to his favorite spot down by the stream which was frozen solid. They kissed and hugged until they were both breathless.

 

They began walking back towards the town and Harry took Louis to a small cafe run by a family that Harry knew well and they had tea and hot scones with jam. Harry was internally pleased to see that Louis had ate his scone and drank his tea but he didn't comment on it, preferring not to draw Louis' attention to the fact that he had just eaten. Louis looked happy and relaxed sitting across from him, his cheeks flushed and his hair slightly wet from the snow.

 

After they finished, they went back out and Harry asked Louis if he minded going with him to his mother's grave as he wanted to put some flowers on her grave. Louis was more than happy to accompany him. Harry bought some red ponsietta and together they made their way to the churchyard. It was quiet and all the graves were covered in snow. Louis tightened his hand on Harry's, knowing how well Harry loved his mother. When they got to the grave, Harry set about putting the flowers in the vase. Louis stood by as Harry finished setting the flowers.

 

'Happy Christmas mum,' Harry whispered. 'I miss you so much.' Louis felt his heart squeeze in his chest. Harry started walking away and Louis turned to join him but before he walked away, he turned back to the gravestone.

 

'Thank you for giving him life. I promise you I will take very good care of your boy and he will be happy Anne, I will make sure of it. Merry Christmas.' Louis hurried to catch up with Harry, took his hand and let Harry lead him back to the town center.

 

When they got there, Harry smiled wide at Louis. 'Look there's the Christmas market and ice rink. They do this every year. When I was little we used to come every year. Wanna check it out?' Louis nodded.

 

'Sure why not,' he told him and Harry tugged his hand happily and led him to the stands that were selling Christmas decorations, food, pastries, sweets, hot drinks and other things related to Christmas. Louis was impressed by how many people knew Harry. They all stopped to talk to him, welcoming him back home, Harry taking his time to stop and talk to them and introduce Louis as his partner. Louis expected to be received with hostility, after all this was a small country town but they shook his hand and greeted him warmly. It was refreshing that nobody really knew who he was and Louis felt relaxed among these people. He felt at home.

 

He felt Harry tug on his hand and Louis looked at him. 'Wanna skate?' Harry asked him with mischief in his eyes. Louis frowned at him.

 

'No! I don't know how. I never.....' Harry chuckled.

 

'Oh come on. Live a little,' he told him as he began walking towards the rink.

 

'Harry!' Louis said stopping in his tracks. 'I am a thirty one year old man who doesn't know how to skate. I will make an utter fool of myself out there!' And Harry threw his head back and laughed heartily.

 

'What has age got to do with it Lou? Having fun doesn't come with age restriction. Come on, it will be fun watching you fall on your ass.' Louis scowled at him.

 

'You can be a right asshole sometimes you know that?' Harry leaned in and kissed him slow and soft.

 

'But this asshole loves you so much and you are going to skate with your asshole boyfriend because you love him and won't deny him anything,' Harry told him cheekily and Louis rolled his eyes but smiled.

 

'Asshole!' And he let Harry lead him to the rink. He sat down on the bench while he waited for Harry to go and get their skates and as he looked out at the people skating; children, parents, couples, he sighed and realized how Harry could indeed take him away from all the horrors he had endured and lived with all his life and Louis found that he wanted it. He wanted this life. He wanted all of it. He wanted a future with Harry. He stopped and managed to surprise himself at realizing that he wanted a family with Harry. But could he do it? Was he able to do it?

 

'There you go,' Harry told him, bringing him out of his thoughts as he handed him a pair of skates. Louis looked up at him startled. 'Are you alright?' Harry asked him when he saw the shocked look in his eyes but Louis was quick to give him a smile.

 

'Yes baby, I'm fine, was just thinking that's all.'

 

'All good I hope,' Harry told him as he sat beside him and commenced to put on his skates. Louis pecked his lips.

 

'All good,' he reassured him. When their skates where on, Harry stood up and expertly stood out on to the ice, steady and poised, a smile on his face. Louis looked at him a little scared. Harry held out his hand to him.

 

'Well come on then,' he urged him but Louis shook his head slightly.

 

'This is not a very good idea Harry,' he told him. He looked at the other skaters. 'Nobody is falling over out there,' Louis told him in a conspiratorial whisper. Harry laughed.

 

'Its alright baby I'll fall with you if you fall,' he told him. Louis sighed and placed his hand in Harry's and Harry helped him up. 'Trust me alright. I'll hold you.' Louis nodded and allowed Harry to tug him on to the ice and no sooner his skates touched ice, his feet had a mind of their own. They began to slip and slide and he could feel himself losing his balance but Harry held him upright as he took both his hands and he began skating backwards slowly, pulling Louis along with him.

 

'There you go,' Harry encouraged him

 

'Harry I'm gonna fall,' Louis hissed at him as he felt his feet go in a direction of their own. Harry had to laugh at Louis' serious face. He was concentrating too hard.

 

'Relax will you? You're stressing.' Louis frowned at him.

 

'Easy for you Mr Figure Ice Skater! You can control those baby deer legs on ice,' Louis told him, gripping Harry's arms tightly.

 

'Eh I might control them on ice but I can't control them on dry land so you have that over me,' Harry told him laughing and Louis felt himself melting because Harry looked so cute all bundled up with that beanie on his head, rosy cheeks and green eyes all sparkling in the Christmas lights that decorated the ice rink.

 

'Let's do this then,' Louis told him with renewed determination.

 

'Let go and let me guide you,' Harry told him and Louis did that. He surprised himself at how easy he had been letting Harry take control lately. It unnerved him because he hated that he was giving away his control but somehow it felt alright. He let Harry guide him to the center of the rink while Christmas music played and astonishingly he managed to keep himself upright even though his feet were slipping and sliding beneath him, yet Harry held him and didn't let him fall. Louis began to enjoy himself. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined he would be in love and celebrating his birthday skating with the love of his life. So far from the life he was used to living, a life of riches and business and here he was in a small town, at the Christmas market skating as the snow fell gently and Louis felt happy and at ease and free and suddenly he realized that he could indeed life this simple life, that he actually craved it. But he also knew that this was not his life and that soon they will have to return to reality but for the time being, he wanted to live this. He felt Harry's arm snake around his waist.

 

'A penny for your thoughts?' he asked him, his face close. Louis looked into his eyes.

 

'I was just thinking that I could get used to living this life, away from everything,' Louis admitted. Harry tightened his hold on his waist not wanting Louis to fall.

 

'We can live any life we choose Louis but we do have to return. However, we can come back here anytime. When it gets too much, we can just escape for a few days, just you and I.' Louis smiled at him as he touched Harry's pink cheek.

 

'As long as I have you I can weather anything,' Louis told him softly. Just then the music changed and a song Harry loved began to play.

 

'Dance with me,' he told Louis.

 

'On ice?' Louis asked him shocked.

 

'On ice,' Harry told him as he pulled him closer and he began to move them slowly to the music, singing softly to Louis :

 

'I found a love for me, Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead, Well, I found a guy, beautiful and sweet, Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me,' Harry sang softly, his lips close to Louis' ear as he twirled them slowly on the ice. Louis gripped Harry's jacket tightly and not only because he was afraid of falling but because Harry was making him weak at the knees.

 

'Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, With you between my arms, Barefoot on the grass, Listening to our favorite song, When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath, But you heard it, Darling, you look perfect tonight,' Harry sang softly and Louis could feel the tears gathering in his eyes. Harry placed a kiss on the side of his face. 'I love you Lou.'

 

Louis pulled back a little and looked at him. 'I am so stupidly, irrevocably in love with you,' he whispered. Their lips met and they kissed softly as the snow fell and the song continued to play and Harry moved them in slow circles on the ice, always careful to not let Louis fall. It was magical and perfect. When the song ended, Harry guided them back to the bench and they sat down, taking off their skates. Harry took the skates back and came back with two cups of hot chocolate. He handed one to Louis who took it gratefully. They sipped the hot drink in comfortable silence, watching the skaters skate and listening to the Christmas music playing. When they were done, Harry threw away the paper cups.

 

'Ready to go home?' Harry asked him. Louis nodded. Harry took his hand and together they walked out of the rink and through the Christmas market.

 

'I just have one more errand left to run,' Harry told him. 'What do you want to do tonight for your birthday then?' Louis shrugged.

 

'Nothing. Just stay at home, dinner and lay on the couch with you and watch crappy telly.' Harry laughed and kissed his forehead.

 

'Alright then. I'll make us dinner.' Harry led them to a small bakery. He opened the door and allowed Louis to go in before him. The smell inside the small shop was divine. It smelled of freshly baked bread and cakes.

 

'Harry my darling,' an elderly woman greeted Harry and Louis watched Harry's face break out in to a dimpled smile as he walked towards the woman.

 

'Barbara how are you my love?' Harry asked her as he hugged the woman who only came up to his chest. She beamed up at him.

 

'I'm alright. How's everything sweetheart?' she asked him.

 

'Everything's wonderful,' Harry told her happily. Then he turned to Louis. 'Barbara, this is Louis, he's my partner.' Louis stepped forward and was about to hold out his hand for the woman but she engulfed him in a tight hug.

 

'Oh Harry he's delightful. So pleased to meet you Louis darling,' she told him as she pulled back and looked into his face. Louis smiled at her.

 

'Nice to meet you too,' he told her. Barbara looked at Harry and winked at him.

 

'Ooh a Londoner. Got yourself a posh one have you now?' Then turned to Louis. 'You are treating my little one good yeah?' Harry laughed.

 

'Barbara stop making Louis blush! He treats me like a prince,' Harry told her and Louis silently wondered if he could fall any more in love with this amazing human being. 'Is the cake ready?'

 

'Yes my love. So the cake is for this handsome devil then?' Louis blushed! Cake? Harry got him a cake?

 

'Yes,' Harry told her. 'Its his birthday today.'

 

'Oh sweetie happy birthday,' Barbara gushed over Louis. 'Born on Christmas eve bet you were a right gift for your parents.' Both of them stiffened a little. Harry threw a glance at Louis but Louis' face still held a smile, yet his eyes had gone a little sad.

 

'Yes I was,' he told her. Harry was quick to take his hand and squeeze it, letting him know it was okay.

 

'We have to get going Babs,' Harry told her. 'I need to cook him dinner.' Barbara laughed and went behind the counter to get the box that held the cake. She handed it to Harry. Harry paid her and they turned to leave.

 

'Merry Christmas Babs,' Harry told her as Louis opened the door.

 

'You too both my darlings,' Barbara told them. Once outside, Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulder.

 

'Are you alright?' Harry asked him and Louis nodded.

 

'Yes baby, I'm alright. Can we go home?'

 

'Of course,' Harry told him as he took his hand and together they made their way home. 'We'll just stop at the chemist and get your medications on the way.'

 

They passed the rest of the day just being together. Harry made a lovely dinner for Louis which they ate in the living room on the couch by the light of the Christmas tree and the fireplace, watching Netflix. After dinner, they cuddled on the couch in each others arms all warmed up and cosy. Before midnight, Harry brought in Louis' birthday cake with an unlighted candle stuck in the middle. He placed the cake on the coffee table and looked at Louis.

 

'I'm going to light the candle but just know that you don't have to blow it out or make a wish alright. Its up to you,' Harry told him because the last thing he wanted to do was bring back bad memories for Louis. Louis nodded as Harry lit the candle. Louis stared at the little flickering flame and he refused to remember the last time he had a birthday cake with candles. He wouldn't. He wanted to heal. He took Harry's hand in his and gave him a small smile, then closed his eyes and Harry knew he was making a wish. Louis opened his eyes and blew out the candle.

 

'Happy birthday Lou,' Harry told him in a soft voice. Louis leaned over and kissed him.

 

'Thank you for today. It was magical. You...are magical. Thank you.' Harry leaned in and kissed him, deeper, harder, longer until they were both naked on the carpet in front of the fire place making love by the light of the Christmas tree.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry woke up first on Christmas day, wrapped up in Louis who was sleeping soundly beside him in the bed, the thick duvet wrapped around them. Harry was happy that the pills had helped Louis to sleep. He had had the first night without waking up screaming into the dark. Harry watched him as Louis slept, his messy hair, his long eyelashes resting peacefully on his pink cheeks, his mouth slightly open. He was so beautiful.

 

Harry stretched carefully, not wanting to wake up Louis. Today it was going to be a family day. Marge and her family were coming over here for Christmas lunch which Marge had been cooking up since yesterday at her home. Harry had to go over and help her carry everything over, then help her set the table in the dining room for all of them. Marge's two children, Barry and Audrey and their families were all coming over because Harry really wanted to give Louis a family Christmas day. He knew Marge's kids from when they were still younger. Barry was twenty five years old, married to Jane and they had two boys aged eight and six. Audrey was twenty eight and she was married to Cliff and they had three children, a girl of ten, a boy of seven and a new baby girl who was only a few months old. Harry was excited to see them.

 

He slowly got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Louis did not stir. Harry showered and put on his red Christmas sweater and a pair of sweats. When he came out of the bathroom, Louis was still asleep and Harry decided to let him sleep a little longer. He placed an identical Christmas sweater to his on Louis' bed for Louis to wear when he woke up. Then he went downstairs.

 

He was glad to see that it was still snowing. He set about making tea and preparing his father's breakfast. Harry hummed Christmas songs to himself as he got everything prepared. He took breakfast to his father, determined not to let him ruin this day. He placed the tray on the bedside table and opened the curtains.

 

'Good morning dad. Merry Christmas,' Harry told him, giving him a warm smile. 'Ready for today? We are having a nice family lunch with Marge,' Harry continued to say as he helped his father sit up in bed. He chose to ignore the way his father glared at him every time he touched him and try to move away from his touch but regardless, Harry was gentle with him. He held the tea cup for his father to take a sip of hot tea.

 

'We will have the house full. Marge's kids have five children between them so it will be nice to have this house full don't you think?' Harry said though he was sure that his father knew about Marge and her kids and their kids. His father only grunted. Harry continued to talk to him.

 

'It was Louis' birthday yesterday. We went to town and there was the Christmas market. Remember we used to go every year. You, me and mum. I took Louis skating too and we went to visit mum. Took her some flowers. I miss her so much dad. I miss our family, so much,' Harry said as he fed his dad breakfast. He could see that his father was uncomfortable with him too close but Harry just wished that his father would only give him a kind look, a smile, maybe a hug but he knew that he was aiming too high and wishing for too much. Still, hope never died in him. He handed his father his tablet and waited while he typed.

 

"Please leave. Please I beg you...leave. Take your faggot boyfriend and leave and never let me see you again. You literally cause me physical pain every time you are near me. Possibly don't you see how much I detest you? If you love me as you say you do, then disappear out of my life. Please."

 

Harry read the words and he gave his dad a small sad smile. 'Alright dad if that's what you wish. After Christmas we will leave and you won't have to endure me again. But today it's Christmas so please just endure me a little longer yeah. Just for today. Now, let's get you changed before Marge and her family arrive. I will wheel you into the living room alright.'

 

Harry swallowed his tears as he dressed his father up nicely for Christmas, taking his time to shave him properly and do his hair. When he was done, he left the room, closing the door softly behind him and when he was out in the corridor by himself, he let his tears fall.

 

'Mum,' he whispered. 'I wish you were here. Why does he hate me so much? How can a father hate his son this much? I wish it didn't hurt, that I could get used to it but I can't mum.' He tried to get himself under control and when he finally managed to stop crying, he walked into the kitchen to find Louis sitting at the table.

 

'Louis!' Harry said clearly surprised as he didn't expect to find him in the kitchen. 'Good morning. Merry Christmas,' he told him putting on his cheerful voice and hoping that Louis wouldn't see his sadness. He felt Louis' eyes on him, seizing him up.

 

'Are you crying?' Louis asked him as he got up and walked towards him. 'Did that fucker make you cry?' Harry swallowed thickly.

 

'Please Louis leave it. It's nothing....'

 

'Nothing?' Louis spat at him angrily. 'You're crying for fucks sake. How are you going to stand there and tell me its nothing?' Harry bit his bottom lip.

 

'Louis its Christmas. Let it go. I want us to have a good day yeah. Please? Can you do that for me? Don't mind him yeah.' Louis struggled to swallow his anger because he hated fathers. He hated his own father with a passion and he equally hated Harry's as much for treating him the way he did when Harry only craved his love. And Louis hated the way Harry tried to make his father love him. He hated that Harry needed his father's love. Louis sighed. He would let it go for Harry because he wanted him to be happy and have a good day. He nodded.

 

'I will,' Louis told him. 'Merry Christmas Harry.' Harry smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him softly. He pulled back and looked at the Christmas sweater Louis was wearing.

 

'We match,' Harry told him happily. Louis grinned at him.

 

'You're a dork you know that?' Harry looked at Louis shyly.

 

'But I'm your dork.' Louis pulled him close and hugged him, placing a kiss on his temple.

 

'That you are baby, that you are.' They pulled apart just as the kitchen door opened and Marge stepped in, bringing in with her a flurry of snow.

 

'Good morning my darlings and Merry Christmas,' she told them happily, her face ruddy from the morning cold.

 

'Merry Christmas,' they both replied at the same time. Marge sat down at the kitchen table.

 

'Harry darling I need you to get the food from my house. Everything is ready. We just need to put the turkey in the oven. Its a tradition to cook the turkey on Christmas day. My kids and grand babies should be here around tenish so we have some time to sort out everything yet.' Harry nodded and set about putting on his jacket and shoes to go to her house.

 

'I'll come help you,' Louis offered.

 

'No honey stay here and make tea. You both need a cuppa and I'll have one as soon as I get back. I'll be right back,' Harry told him, pecking his lips lovingly. Marge smiled at them. Once Harry left, Louis set about making tea.

 

'I'm glad Harry found you,' Marge told Louis as she watched him make tea.

 

'So am I,' Louis told her. 'He's a blessing.' Marge hummed.

 

'He sure is. Pity his father won't see that. If his mother was still alive, it would surely kill her to see her husband treat his only child like that. Anne doted on that boy. He was her life. She loved him so fiercely. Harry and Anne were very close. He took her illness and passing very hard. It was so difficult for him to see her suffering like that. He never once let her go to chemo by herself or with someone else. He always had to be with her and when she was close to the end, he never left her side. He slept beside her bed in a chair, night after night holding her. She passed away in his arms.The poor boy cried so hard. Des called me over the moment she passed away. Harry wouldn't let go of her. The medics had to pry her away from his arms and I can still hear him screaming out to his mum not to leave him. Then Des, he just kicked him out. His dear mother wasn't even cold in her grave yet. Harry came to see me before he left and you know what he told me? Look after him Marge. He's going to be all alone without mum and he will need someone. That's what he said. That dear boy is too good for this world.' Marge shook her head. Louis felt his chest tighten just thinking about how hard it must have been for Harry. Marge looked at him, her eyes boring into his.

 

'Don't hurt him Louis. Take care of him. He is a precious gem and he deserves all that is good in this world. I can tell that he loves you very much so please, don't break that beautiful heart of his.'

 

'I won't Marge,' Louis promised her. 'I learned my lesson and I won't hurt him. I promise you that.' Just then the back door flew open and Harry came in carrying dishes of food, his hair covered in snow. Louis rushed to help him and they set everything on the table.

 

'God its cold out there,' Harry said. Louis handed him a mug of tea. 'Thank you love,' he told him as he took a sip of tea. Louis cuddled into his side.

 

'I love you,' he whispered to him and Harry was quick to wrap his arm around his shoulder and pull him closer.

 

'And I you,' he told him, taking another sip of tea.

 

Soon the house was full of people and the smell of delicious food. Kids were running about the house and peeking at the presents under the tree. Barry and Audrey were glad to see Harry after so long and to meet Louis, who never left Harry's side. Marge was busy in the kitchen getting everything ready. Des was in the living room in his wheelchair in the company of Audrey's husband who was a business man and was conversing with Des about his thriving business. He had been very glad to meet Louis, instantly knowing who he was when he had been introduced to him by Harry.

 

Louis fondly looked at Harry who cradled four month old Rosie in his arms, occasionally cooing her.

 

'She's so pretty,' Louis told him as he looked at the gurgling baby in Harry's arm.

 

'She is isn't she?' Harry told him, looking fondly at the little girl. 'You wanna hold her?' Louis shook his head.

 

'No. I'm not good with kids Harry. They scare the shit out of me.' Harry covered the baby's ear.

 

'Don't say that in front of her!' he scolded Louis and Louis threw his head back and laughed.

 

'Baby she's too young to understand,' Louis pointed out.

 

'Still,' Harry told him. 'Keep the babies innocent.' Louis laughed and he watched Harry fuss over the baby and his heart ached because he knew he would never be able to give Harry that. He was going to deprive Harry of marriage and children because he couldn't give them to him and despite the fact that Harry wanted them and knew that Louis would never give them to him, he still chose to be with him and give up his dreams of becoming a husband and father. Just then Mark, Barry's eight year old son came running into the kitchen asking his dad for a drink and Barry was quick to ruffle his son's hair lovingly and get him a drink. Louis looked at the happy little boy and couldn't help but remember that he had been his age when his torment had started. He realized then, seeing that little boy, how little in fact he had been when his father had touched him and had taken away his innocence. He looked at Mark smiling up at his father and wondered what kind of monster could hurt a little child like that?

 

'Louis,' Harry called softly to him. 'Are you alright?' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He looked at Harry.

 

'I-I was...I was his age Harry...I...I...' Louis' eyes were wide, staring and unblinking and Harry realized instantly that Louis was slipping back in past memories.

 

'Hey hey calm down baby. Hey sweetheart look at me. Look at me. Focus on me baby. Come, lets step out for a bit. Follow me.' Harry handed Rosie to Audrey who looked at Louis a little weirdly but Harry paid her no mind. He took Louis' hand and guided him out of the room into the corridor just outside his father's room. It was quiet there. Louis was shaking. Harry took him in his arms, holding him close to his chest.

 

'I-I was his age w-when he....when he touched me. I-I was that little when...when he...he. How could he? Why? W-why would he do that to me?' Louis croaked out in Harry's chest.

 

'Sh sh its alright baby. You're fine. You're safe. You're with me and nobody is going to hurt you. Nobody Lou. Its alright baby,' he reassured him. Louis was breathing heavily, gripping Harry's sweater tightly in his fists.

 

'He-he ruined me. He took everything from me,' Louis said his voice thick. Harry held him tighter.

 

'No he didn't. He hasn't taken your strength and your beautiful soul Louis. Fight it. Don't let him control you any more. He can't do that. Don't allow him to do that sweetheart. You're safe and I got you. I have you always.' Louis trembled in Harry's arms. Harry continued to hold him, kissing his hair and reassuring him that he was safe, and that he was with him and would never let him go. Slowly Louis relaxed in Harry's warm embrace, fighting to get rid of the horrid memories that tormented him and come back to Harry. Harry was fighting for him and he had to fight for Harry too. Harry couldn't do this alone. He had to do his part too. He took in deep breaths as Harry rubbed his back gently, allowing him to calm down. After a while, Louis pulled back and looked at Harry.

 

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly.

 

'For what honey?' Harry asked him a little surprised as to why Louis should be apologizing. Louis chewed on his bottom lip then met Harry's eyes.

 

'For being so fucked up and that I will never be able to give you what you want,' he said softly, feeling ashamed of himself. Harry cupped his face in his hands.

 

'I already have all I want Lou. I have you and that's all I'll ever want,' Harry told him honestly. Louis scoffed.

 

'I know you want marriage and kids Harry. I saw you with that baby in your arms. The longing on your face.....'

 

'Hey hey,' Harry stopped him. 'Louis, all I want is to be with you. Marriage is not everything. We don't need a wedding or a piece of paper stating we belong to each other. We already do honey. You are mine and I am yours. As for kids, honestly, its no big deal. You are my baby and you are enough and all that I want. Please don't think these things.' Louis looked down.

 

'I feel like I'm depriving you of the life you want,' he told him softly.

 

'You are the life I want. Please believe that. Just you that's all I ask.' Louis looked at him with adoration in his eyes.

 

'Thank you,' he told him softly. 'For wanting me. And for choosing me.'

 

'Always. Are you alright now? Do you want to go back in there or shall I excuse ourselves and we can go up to our room? Whatever you want honey.' Louis kissed his lips softly.

 

'I'm alright. I just got carried away. The memories don't seem to want to leave me.' Harry took his hand and raised it to his lips, kissing his knuckles.

 

'Give yourself time. We'll fight them together. I won't let them take you in the darkness okay. You can count on me.' Louis hugged him tightly burying his face in Harry's sweater.

 

'I love you,' he said and Harry smiled.

 

'I love you,' he replied. 'Now, shall we go back?' Louis looked up at him.

 

'Yeah. I won't escape. Not any more.' Harry squeezed his hand and placed a kiss on his temple.

 

'You're not alone.' Together they walked back into the kitchen just as everyone was moving into the dining room to start eating. Louis and Harry entered still holding hands. Nobody was phased except Harry's dad who shot them daggers through his narrowed eyes. Louis noticed his glare and he pulled Harry closer and when they sat down next to each other, Louis locked eyes with Des and kissed Harry's cheek. It was very pleasurable to watch his face twist in disgust and turn a deep shade of red.

 

Christmas lunch was a noisy but pleasant affair. Children crying and arguing. Parents trying to calm them down. Sulking about vegetable eating, lots of alcohol and Harry feeding a bottle to baby Rosie, making Louis feel awfully parental which confused him as he never liked, desired or wanted children but something about Harry rocking that little girl to sleep while feeding her made him all warm inside. He reckoned it was the alcohol he was drinking along with the pills he had taken that morning that were making him hallucinate and feel things. Nevertheless, he found himself wrapping his arm around Harry while he was holding baby Rosie up on his shoulder and rubbing her back to get her to burp and a single thought to run through his mind: could he give Harry all that he wanted if he tried hard enough?

 

After lunch, everyone went into the living room where the kids opened presents amidst a lot of squeals, hugs and kisses while the adults sat on the couch sipping wine and coffee. Louis sat cuddled into Harry watching everything going on around him and he was genuinely happy as he had never had a family Christmas like this before even though these people were not his family, or Harry's come to think of it but sometimes family is not the one that you are born into, but friends you choose to make your family. Louis wanted this. And he decided then, that as soon as he was better, he would reunite his family together.

 

Later that evening, Louis and Harry stood on the door step saying goodbye to everyone, with Harry kissing baby Rosie goodbye. When everyone left and the house was quiet, Louis sighed pleasantly.

 

'Finally, I have you all to myself,' he told Harry as he wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his lips softly but Harry put his finger up stopping him.

 

'Not quite yet. I just need to pop over to Marge's to um take her the um dishes she left here.' Louis scowled at him.

 

'Do you really have to go now? I mean seriously? Can't you take them to her in the morning?' Harry released Louis' arms from around his waist and backed away from him towards the door. Louis thought he was acting very strange.

 

'Afraid not. I will just be a second. Wait for me in the living room. I won't be long I promise then you have me all to yourself,' Harry told him with a grin and with that he slipped out the back door with Marge's dishes in his arms. Louis shrugged but went into the living room, flopping down on the couch and putting the telly on. He felt tired but happy and relaxed. He had never felt like this before or had a birthday or Christmas like this and he felt, for the first time in his life that he had done the right thing by opening up to Harry and letting him in.

 

He heard the sound of the back door open and was glad that Harry was back. He wanted to cuddle him and watch shit shows with him on the telly.

 

'I'm back,' Harry said as he walked into the room and stood before Louis. 'Merry Christmas,' he told him handing him a gift and Louis' eyes went wide as he stared at what Harry had in his arms. He got up off the couch and looked at the Golden Retriever puppy who looked back at him with big brown eyes and a pink tongue lolling out of his mouth.

 

'Harry!' Louis exclaimed. 'What.... is that for me?' Louis asked him surprised, his voice an octave higher. Harry laughed.

 

'You said you never had a pet when you were growing up. Now you do. He's yours,' Harry told him as he put the puppy in Louis' arms. The puppy looked up at Louis and licked his face making Louis gasp.

 

'Oh my God he's beautiful. Oh Harry thank you. Oh my God. I can keep him?' Louis squealed out like a child.

 

'Yes he's all yours baby,' Harry told him as he watched the awe on Louis' face as he looked down at the squirming puppy in his arms. Louis sat down on the couch and immediately the puppy jumped on him making Louis giggle.

 

'Hey buddy,' Louis told him, scratching behind his ears. 'You're so beautiful you know that? And so fucking cute.' The puppy whined and licked his face again.

 

'He likes you,' Harry pointed out as he sat next to him and petted the little dog who jumped on Harry's lap yapping loudly.

 

'He doesn't even bark yet!' Louis pointed out fondly. Harry rubbed the little dog's pink tummy.

 

'He's only six weeks old Lou,' Harry told him.

 

'When did you get him? I mean how?' Louis asked him happily. The puppy jumped back on Louis.

 

'A few days after when we came back from Doncaster and you weren't well. I went out shopping and saw an ad in the pet shop in town that they had Retriever puppies for sale so I got you one and kept him over at Marge's house.' Louis slapped his thigh playfully.

 

'Is that why you went over there now?' Harry nodded. Louis threw his arms around Harry's neck, crushing the puppy between them who squirmed and yapped. 'Thank you Harry. I love him. He's adorable. Thank you so much. I am so happy.' Harry cupped his face in both his hands and kissed him softly, the puppy jumping to try and get in between them and lick Louis' face.

 

'I'm happy you're happy. Your happiness is my priority. What are you going to call him?' Louis ruffled the puppy's fur.

 

'I think I will name this little guy Byron. Do you like it hmm? Byron sound cool and posh and rich doesn't it cos you will be a fucking rich spoiled puppy won't you?' The puppy yapped and licked Louis.

 

'I think he likes it,' Harry laughed. Louis cuddled the little puppy who squirmed happily in his grasp jumping from his lap to Harry's lap and back again. Louis looked at Harry.

 

'Let's go to bed,' he told him huskily and Harry couldn't get up fast enough. Louis chuckled and got up cradling Byron in his arms.

 

'Where is he going to sleep?' Louis asked him as they made their way upstairs.

 

'I got you a bed for him and a collar and leash too,' Harry told him as he pushed open the door to his bedroom and allowed Louis and Byron to go in first.

 

'You thought of everything,' Louis told him softly. Harry nodded and got down on his knees to pull something from underneath the bed. When he got it out, he stood up and showed it to Louis. It was a Dalmation puppy bed and Louis thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. Harry placed it in the corner next to the bathroom door facing the bed. Louis walked over and put Byron down in it.

 

'Good night buddy. Sleep tight,' he told him. Harry smiled to himself at how cute Louis was with Byron. When Byron was settled, Louis walked over to Harry and looked up at him.

 

'Thank you for an amazing day. It's been truly wonderful.' Harry smiled at him.

 

'Its not over yet,' he told him seductively. Louis smiled and gently pushed Harry back down on the bed. Harry scooted up on to the pillows, lying flat on his back as Louis settled on top of him. Louis kissed him softly, settling down in between Harry's spread legs. Harry wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist and pulled him down on him, relishing in Louis' weight on him. Their kiss became deeper and more heated. Louis tugged at Harry's sweater and Harry allowed him to pull it off of him. Louis ground down his hips on Harry, making Harry moan.....and Byron whine!

 

They both stopped and looked at each other. 'Is he alright?' Louis asked Harry worriedly. Harry shrugged.

 

'He's fine Lou. Please just kiss me,' Harry told him pulling him back down. Louis complied, resuming kissing his boy....but Byron whined again. Louis stopped and looked at Harry.

 

'Maybe he doesn't like the dark?' Louis asked him and Harry couldn't help but chuckle.

 

'He's a puppy Lou,' Harry pointed out.

 

'Which is why I think he's afraid of being there alone,' Louis argued. Byron whined again. Harry looked into Louis' worried, pleading eyes.

 

'Fine,' Harry huffed out, 'he can sleep with us tonight but only for tonight. You have to start training him.' Louis pecked his lips, hopped off the bed happily and went to Byron. He crouched down in front of him.

 

'Hey there, scared of the dark are we? Well c'mon then, you can sleep with Harry and me but only for tonight alright or Harry will get grumpy.' Byron yapped as if he understood and hopped straight into Louis' arms. Louis chuckled and carried the puppy to their bed. He lay down, Byron between then all snuggled up, his back into Louis' chest.

 

'I'm jealous,' Harry murmured as he stroked the little dog's tiny head. 'You get to spoon him but not me,' he told Louis pouting playfully. Louis smiled at him fondly.

 

'Scoot closer,' Louis told him and Harry obeyed until Byron was comfortably sandwiched between them. Harry threw his long leg over Louis' hip cuddling in closer. Louis reached over and carded his fingers through Harry's curls softly, gently tugging at his hair.

 

'I love you,' Louis told him softly in the dark silent room.

 

'And I you,' Harry replied equally soft. Louis continued to play with Harry's curls, making the boy purr.

 

'You really came through for me Harry,' Louis told him. 'I have been afraid to let you in for so long. I have been a fool. I should've trusted you sooner.' Harry reached out and cupped his cheek, gently stroking his cheekbone with his thumb.

 

'It wasn't the right time yet Louis. Everything comes at its own time and pace and yours was now. I am so sorry you got hurt so badly and I know the scars will remain and I also know that I won't be able to heal you completely but I am hoping that by loving you and making new memories together, those scars will eventually smooth over. I will never leave you.' Harry pulled Louis' hand close to his lips and kissed his ring. 'I promise you.' Louis smiled, feeling so much love in his heart for Harry. They remained silent only the sound of Byron snoring softly between them could be heard. After a while, Louis spoke.

 

'Harry?'

 

'Hmm?' Harry replied sleepily.

 

'I..I w-want to take you to meet my mum if you want,' Louis told him sounding uncertain. Harry raised his head off the pillow to look at Louis.

 

'Seriously?' he asked him surprised.

 

'Yeah. I never took anyone to meet her, not even friends but I really want to take you.' Harry felt his heart swell.

 

'I'd love to Lou. I'd be honored to meet your mum,' Harry told him.

 

'Can we leave the day after tomorrow? I always spend the New Year with her.' Harry squeezed his hand and kissed it again.

 

'Of course love. There is nothing I'd love better than to spend New year with you and your mum,' Harry told him and Louis nestled comfortably in the bed with Harry and his puppy, closed his eyes and fell into blissful sleep, feeling happier than he had ever felt before.

 

Chapter 27 coming soon..............


	27. You Make Me Feel Brand New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter and back with more gratitude to you all for reading my fic and leaving me the most amazing comments. I can never thank you enough.  
> All the love, M.

You Make Me Feel Brand New.

 

I'll never find the words, my love  
To tell you how I feel, my love  
Mere words could not explain  
Precious love  
You held my life within your hands  
Created everything I am  
Taught me how to live again  
My love  
Whenever I was insecure  
You build me up and made me sure  
You gave my pride back to me

 

 

Louis rolled over in bed, trying to get away from something wet and sticky all over his face but as much as he shied away from it, it still came repeatedly all over his face. He grunted.

 

'Ugh Harry stop,' he groaned, his eyes still closed, yet the wet feeling was persistent all over his face. Louis lifted his hand to push Harry away from him.

 

'Harry fuck off,' he whined but his hands came in contact with fur! And a whine followed. Louis furrowed his brows. Why was Harry licking him and whining? Suddenly he opened his eyes and was met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes and a pink lolling tongue out of a furry snout that was letting out soft whines and warm breath all over his face. Louis smiled.

 

'Byron,' he whispered and the little pup jumped up on his chest. Louis let out an "oof" even though the little puppy wasn't heavy. 'Good morning you rascal,' Louis told him fondly as he patted the little dog who wagged its tail happily and yapped.

 

'Sh sh you'll wake up Harry and he will be grumpy,' Louis warned him. Byron yapped again. Louis turned to look at Harry but his side of the bed was empty. Louis touched Harry's side and it was cold. He looked at his phone and saw that it was just after nine in the morning. Louis sat up in bed, rubbed his eyes and stretched as Byron jumped him.

 

'Hey settle down. It's too early in the morning to attack me with puppy kisses. Let's go and find my baby. I hope you didn't keep him up all night,' Louis told the little dog who looked up at him with his head cocked to the side, pink tongue out. 'Don't you give me those cute puppy dog eyes you little minx. You will sleep in your bed tonight yeah. Now c'mon, let's go and look for Harry.' Louis scooped up the little puppy in his arms who licked his face happily.

 

Louis trudged downstairs with a squirming Byron in his arms. He felt good because he had slept all night but was silently worried about Harry. He hoped that Byron hadn't kept him up and made a mental note to get a dog trainer once they got back to London and settled in so that Byron could be trained. He padded into the kitchen, yawning and found Marge there.

 

'Good morning Marge,' Louis told her as he sat in a chair and put Byron down on the kitchen floor.

 

'Good morning love. Sleep well?' Marge asked him as she made him some coffee.

 

'I did yeah. Where's Harry?' Louis asked her taking the cup of coffee which was handed to him. Marge sat down opposite Louis.

 

'Harry told you me you will be leaving tomorrow.' Louis gave her a small smile.

 

'Yeah, I'm taking him to meet my mum and stay over for the New Year. Every year we throw a charity ball so I have to be there for it.'

 

'That's very beautiful Louis. I can tell you love your mother very much and that you are close to her.' Louis looked down into his coffee cup.

 

'I do. And we are yes very much,' he said quietly. Marge sighed and Louis looked up at her. He could feel that she wanted to say something. 'What is is Marge?' Louis asked her kindly. Marge gave him a worried look.

 

'Do you think your mother will take to Harry? I mean, he can't handle anymore rejection Louis. With his father....' she paused. Louis reached over and placed his hand over hers. He noticed that ever since he had opened up to Harry about his past, it became easier and more natural for him to be openly affectionate towards those he cared for.

 

'My mother will love him Marge rest assured. He will be safe I promise you. He will be loved and well taken care of.' He watched Marge's eyes fill with tears.

 

'I just wish his father would love him. Harry, he wants his father to love him so much. He tried so hard with him and he doesn't give up. The strength and determination on that boy amaze me but Des, he's so stubborn. I refuse to believe that there is no love in his heart for his son. I refuse to believe that. He must love that boy! Maybe its his pride that's keeping him back. Maybe he just feels betrayed that Harry turned out gay. I don't know but he must love him! I keep telling him to find it in his heart to accept Harry but he is so stubborn.' Louis squeezed her hand.

 

'What do you need me to do Marge?' Louis asked her. She gave him a feeble smile.

 

'Talk to him Louis. Please talk to him.' Louis sighed.

 

'What can I possible tell him? The bastard hates his son. What can I possibly say to change his mind?' Marge took out a handkerchief from her sleeve and dabbed at her eyes.

 

'I just know that if Harry leaves here knowing his father still hates him, it will eat him up inside. It will take away from his soul and he will not be completely happy.' Louis patted her hand trying to reassure her.

 

'Don't worry Marge. He's going to have so much love given to him, he won't have time to think about that son of a bitch. He will be happy and very loved. Trust me but before we leave, I will talk to him one last time. If he insists on not wanting anything to do with Harry, I will do everything in my power to make Harry forget he has a father.' Marge nodded but Louis could see that she was sad and he appreciated the fact that Marge genuinely worried for Harry and wanted what was best for him. Louis squeezed her hand again.

 

'Where's Harry?' he asked her. Marge gave him a small smile.

 

'Oh yes sorry how daft of me. He went out to help Barbara at the bakery. He told me to tell you he will only be gone for a few hours and when he gets back he will pack. I will bring in a few boxes from the garage for him. In the meantime I will make you breakfast.' She got up and started busying herself.

 

'Just some coffee Marge please. Where is there a pet shop round here? I need to get some things for this little terror here,' he told her as he ran his fingers through Byron's soft fur as the little puppy yapped fondly at Louis. Marge looked over her shoulder at Louis and smiled.

 

'He's a cute wee one,' she commented. 'Harry was so happy when he came to the house to leave the pup there. He was glowing. Yes the pet shop is in town just past the church. You can't miss it love,' she told him as she handed him another cup of coffee. Louis thanked her, took the cup and made his way back upstairs to get dressed, Byron skipping and jumping at his heels trying to keep up with him.

 

Half an hour later, Louis left Byron in Harry's bedroom, closed the door and hopped down stairs, informing Marge that he was stepping out to go shopping. It had stopped snowing but it was very cold. Louis tucked his gloved hands into the jacket of his pockets and began walking towards town. He sighed happily as he walked through the white wonderland of this small town, loving the feel of Harry's ring on his finger. He felt scared of all the happiness he was feeling because surely all this happiness couldn't belong to him could it? But it was, because Harry hadn't left him. Harry had accepted all of him, all the bad and Harry had made it all better and took care of him. Harry was patient and Harry wanted him and Louis struggled to not burst into a fit of giggles as he walked down the street. He looked forward to Harry meeting his mum and to seeing his mum because it had been a while since he had last seen her. He felt bad that he had never mentioned Harry to her and to just spring him on her but he didn't know that they would actually get this far, to the point where Louis wanted to take Harry to meet his mother!

 

Louis kept on walking, softly whistling to himself and soon saw the pet shop with its wooden sign hanging on the door that read "Happy Friends Pet Shop." Louis pushed the door open, a little bell tinkling on the door and stepped inside the warm shop that smelled of animal food and animals. A man came out from a back room and greeted Louis with a smile.

 

'Good morning Sir, how may I help you this wonderful morning?' Louis gave him a smile and was surprised to find that the man's chirpy morning manner didn't annoy him.

 

'Hi yeah I need puppy food,' Louis told him realizing he knew nothing about his little puppy as regarding to what he should feed him. The man nodded.

 

'What kind of puppy and how old is it?'

 

'Its a Golden Retriever and he's six weeks old.' The man furrowed his brow.

 

'Is it the same puppy Harry got before Christmas?' the man asked him. Louis smiled and reminded himself that everyone knew everyone in a small town such as this. Louis nodded. The man smiled and extended his hand.

 

'You must be Louis then, Harry's partner,' the man told him cheerfully. 'I'm Simon. Nice to meet you. Harry talked a lot about you so its finally nice to put a face to the name.' Louis shook his hand.

 

'Nice to meet you Simon. Now, can you help me please?' Simon nodded.

 

'Sure sure of course,' Simon told him as he led him to the back of the shop and started showing Louis different foods and treats and giving him information about his puppy. Louis took all that he thought would be needed for Byron then went to the counter to pay. As the man was ringing up his stuff, Louis noticed a neat row of collars behind Simon and realized that the collar that Marc had given him for Harry,had been thrown away when he had packed up his home and moved out. He eyed them all and he saw a few that captured his eyes.

 

'Um could I have that um pink sparkly collar that says KITTEN on it?' Louis asked him and saw the man look at him confused. 'Its for my mum's cat,' Louis explained, not really wanting to tell the man why he wanted the collar in reality. Simon nodded and pulled it down off its hanger and gave it to Louis. Louis looked at all the pink sparkles on it and KITTEN in silver studs with a little bell beneath it and he refused to think about how that bell will tinkle around Harry's neck as he pounded into him.

 

'I'll take it and I will take that one,' Louis pointed at a thick black collar with a D loop at the front and two buckles at the back. Simon offered him a small smile.

 

'Oh those are not for Retrievers. Those are for bigger dogs like Pitbulls and Rotweillers,' Simon explained. Louis gulped.

 

'Yeah um its ugh for a friend who has one of those big dogs,' Louis explained, feeling his pants tighten a little when he imagined Harry wearing that massive harsh collar around his pale slim neck. 'I'll um take the leash with it too.' Simon took down the leather collar that came with a chained leash that had a leather wrap strap for a handle. Louis fingered the leather and heavy chain, his mind drifting to Harry wearing this.

 

'I'll take them,' Louis told Simon and Simon ringed them up for him, putting everything in a biodegradable bag for Louis. Louis thanked him and walked out of the shop heading to the bakery to see Harry.

 

When he arrived, Harry was behind the counter wearing a red apron and serving a few customers. When Harry saw him, his face lit up and he gave Louis his full dimpled smile. Harry thanked the customers for their purchase and stepped out from behind the counter.

 

'Louis,' he breathed as he walked towards him, looking at him as if he was the sun itself.

 

'Hey baby,' Louis greeted him as he pecked his lips fondly. 'I missed you this morning.' Harry looked down.

 

'Sorry I forgot to tell you that I had to help Barbara today. Boxing day is usually busy,' Harry explained.

 

'Its quite alright love,' Louis reassured him. 'I went to buy some stuff for Byron....and for you,' he whispered. Harry looked down at the bag in his hands, then looked up at Louis his brow furrowed in confusion.

 

'You bought me something from the pet shop? Um thanks?' Harry told him amused and a little confused. Louis smirked at him, reaching round him and squeezing his bum hard.

 

'Oh you will thank me once you have a collar round your neck,' Louis told him seductively. Harry gasped and was thankful that the shop was empty.

 

'Oh,' Harry said, feeling his face flushing hot. 'Thank you Sir,' he whispered back equally seductively. Louis swatted his bum playfully.

 

'Back to work. You have customers,' he told him just as the door opened and two elderly women walked in. Harry hurried back behind the counter feeling flustered, cheeks pink and a smile on his lips. He watched as Harry served the customers, occasionally throwing a look at Louis from underneath lowered lashes.

 

'Louis dear!' Barbara exclaimed as she came out from the room behind the counter and straight to Louis, enveloping him in a crushing hug. She smelled of vanilla and cinnamon and baked goods. 'How are you my darling? It's so nice to see you again,' she told him as she pulled back and looked up into his face. Louis smiled at her because the people in this town seemed all so happy and cheerful and friendly and it was rubbing off on him.

 

'I'm good Babs,' Louis told her, using Harry's nickname for the chubby woman. Barbara nudged him playfully.

 

'You liked your birthday cake?' she asked him curiously.

 

'It was amazing thank you,' Louis complimented her and Barbara smiled proudly.

 

'So you are taking my lovely boy away again are you?' she asked him with a smile. Louis nodded.

 

'Yeah we are going on a road trip then back to London. We have to go house hunting and I can't stay away from my job too long,' Louis told her though he really didn't know why he was giving her all this information and being so chatty. All he knew was that it felt good and he wanted to share with her. Babs smiled at him.

 

'Harry told me you are taking him to meet your mother.' Louis chuckled at himself because Harry was telling everyone about it and Louis couldn't fault him that. The boy was excited and if he were to be honest, he was too. He simply couldn't wait to see his mother and Harry together.

 

'Yes I am,' he told her excitedly, casting a fond look at Harry who was being his goofy self with the two elderly ladies, making them laugh at one of his corny jokes.

 

'So its serious between the two of you then?' Barbara asked him a little more seriously. Louis looked at her.

 

'Very,' Louis told her. Barbara sighed.

 

'We are all very fond of our Harry here. He's such a dear. Everyone loves him and that good heart of his. His mother raised him really well God rest her soul. She was very much like him you know. Anne was kind and a happy soul. Always smiling and helping out wherever it deemed necessary. That boy was her world and she was his. When she was diagnosed, we were all more worried about how Harry would fare without her that's how close they were.' Louis listened to her, knowing exactly where she was going with this because Marge had beat her to it. Babs squeezed his arm.

 

'Take good care of him. He's our pride and joy and I expect to find my invitation in the mail box,' she told him giving him a wink. Louis furrowed his brows at her.

 

'Invitation?' he asked her confused. Barbara laughed.

 

'Your wedding invitation,' she told him giving him an other exaggerated smile. Louis froze and stared at her.

 

'We..um, I no I mean...um its too um early,' he stammered because where these people expecting him to marry Harry? Did they really? He felt fear claw deep inside of him at the thought of disappointing them. But then again, when did he ever care about what people thought or expected of him? He knew he wasn't going to marry Harry and Harry knew that too so it really shouldn't matter what these strangers expected of him. He owed them nothing, least of all an explanation. Barbara saw the look on his face.

 

'You don't intend to marry him then?' she pressed. Louis could feel his walls coming up.

 

'We haven't discussed it yet,' he told her coldly, his eyes shifting to Harry hoping he would be done soon so they could get out of here. Barbara noticed his change in tone and stance.

 

'Still plenty of time for that,' she told him, giving him a smile. Louis nodded towards Harry.

 

'Will you be keeping him here for much longer? We really need to pack his stuff up,' Louis told her wanting to change the subject.

 

'Oh I think the morning rush is over,' Babs told Louis. Then she turned to Harry. 'Harry sweetheart you can go. Thank you so much for your help love. Don't know how I would've done it with you. You're an angel,' Barbara told him and Harry's face lit up.

 

'Anything for you Babs,' Harry said as he took off his apron. 'Well, guess this is goodbye then,' Harry told her, his face falling a little. Barbara hugged him.

 

'Don't be a stranger okay. Let us see you again. Soon,' she told him as she hugged her tightly.

 

'I will Babs I promise. And you have my phone number alright. And I showed you how to text so you can text me yeah.' Barbara nodded.

 

'I will my darling. Have a safe trip.' Harry kissed the top of her head and let her go.

 

'We will,' he told her as he took Louis' hand in his own.

 

'Bye Louis. It was a real pleasure to meet you. Hope to see you soon,' Barbara told Louis. Louis tugged at Harry's arm cos he really wanted to leave.

 

'Nice to have met you,' Louis told her and rushed out of the shop and out into the street thankful for the cold air against his flaming cheeks. Harry noticed right away that Louis was upset.

 

'Hey Lou, what's the matter?' Harry asked him gently.

 

'Nothing,' Louis mumbled out. 'We should get going so you can pack your stuff. I wanna leave early tomorrow.' Harry tugged at his arm stopping him.

 

'What is it?' he pressed. Louis sighed. He was a mix of anger, annoyance and frustration. He didn't know which one he was going to unleash. It was in his nature to just yell at Harry and tell him off but what fault did Harry have if these people were protective of him? Louis huffed out a breath.

 

'These people think I'm out to hurt you or something,' Louis told him, his voice hard. He refused to look at Harry. Harry smiled.

 

'They are good people Lou. Their intentions are good and their heart is in the right place.' Louis looked up at him.

 

'Don't you think I fucking know that?' he snapped at Harry and he watched Harry wince a little at his harsh tone. Louis took in a deep breath to calm himself. 'They...they just make me feel like I'm mistreating you. Like I'm failing you and not good enough for you,' he said in a softer tone of voice.

 

'Does it really matter that much to you what they think?' Harry asked him, his voice equally soft. Louis shrugged. 'I know perfectly well how you treat me so does it matter Lou?'

 

'Its weird,' he explained. 'Its like I do want to live up to their expectations of me. I want them to see that I am treating you well and that you are happy.' Harry took a step closer to his boyfriend and placed his finger under his chin, tilting his face upwards so that he could meet his eyes.

 

'The only expectations we need to live up to is towards each other. As long as we treat each other good and we make each other happy then that's all that matters. Its you and I in this relationship, not us and them. Not us and anyone else. Just you and I Louis. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. I know how you treat me. I know how much you love me and I am happy. What others think or expect is irrelevant. Don't let that put any stress on you. These people, I grew up with them. They kinda all raised me a little and they don't know you so they expect of you. They are only looking out for me Louis. They love me and I love them so please understand that they are good hearted people and they mean no harm yeah.' Louis kept his gaze fixed into Harry's green eyes.

 

'You are happy though aren't you?' Louis asked him doubtfully in a small voice. Harry leaned in and placed a small kiss on the side of Louis' mouth.

 

'Very much so,' he whispered against his mouth. 'Now, how about we go pack my stuff so tomorrow we can leave yeah?' Louis pecked his lips, both smiling into the kiss.

 

'I love you,' he told him.

 

'And I you,' Harry replied.

 

 

They spent the rest of the day packing Harry's stuff into boxes. Harry looked at his stuff once again all crammed into boxes that were to go into the garage for storage until they found a new house then they were to be moved to the new address. Harry was happy and looking forward to go house hunting with Louis, this time looking for their own house to turn into a home together. Louis had told him to pack up some family photos so that Harry could put up in their new home and to get a good picture of his mother to go at the cancer center when it was ready. Harry packed some framed photos of his mum and dad and of him with them both when he was little. He also packed his mother's favorite blanket, last book she had been reading and a bottle of her perfume. They made him feel closer to his mother.

 

At six in the evening, they both went down for dinner, feeling rather exhausted but accomplished. All the packing was now done. Marge had left them dinner in the oven, so Harry served it for the both of them and they ate in relative but comfortable silence. Half way through the meal, Louis looked at Harry.

 

'I just remembered,' he told him. 'Here, I brought this for you. I thought you might like it back since you already gave Babs your phone number.' He slid Harry's phone across the surface of the table. Harry looked at him and smiled.

 

'I was meaning to ask you if I could have it back,' he told him quietly. Louis pushed his plate away.

 

'Its yours Harry,' Louis told him as he watched Harry turn it on. Instantly, his phone lit up with messages and notifications. 'I would suggest you text your friends. Let them know you are alright,' Louis suggested. Harry's smile slid off his face.

 

'Do you think they'd want to hear from me? I mean we didn't leave on good terms.' Louis leaned across the table and took his hand in his.

 

'Harry they love you. You stood up for me and they couldn't understand why until well, the whole story came out. Niall was beside himself when we couldn't find you. He cried and panicked so much. Obviously they know where you are because I told them when I found you but it would be nice to contact them.' Harry bit his bottom lip as he scrolled through his phone to check if there were any messages from his friends. There weren't any.

 

'They haven't reached out to me,' he whispered sadly. Louis sighed.

 

'Harry, they know they hurt you and that they were assholes to you. They are waiting for you to tell them you want them back, that you're not mad at them. Don't hold out on them. You love them and they love you but I will stand by whatever decision you make and you don't have to make one now.' Harry nodded as he continued to scroll.

 

'I have a lot of messages and missed calls from Gucci,' he told Louis his voice laced with surprise. 'Didn't Leonard tell them I'm not interested?' Harry asked him.

 

'Yeah he did. What do they want?' Louis asked him intrigued.

 

'They want me to walk and model for them,' Harry told him shyly. Louis smiled at him and kicked his foot playfully under the table.

 

'Do you want to?' he asked him and saw a light blush spread on Harry's cheeks. 'You want to don't you? You want to model for Gucci. I can see it all over your pretty face,' Louis teased him. Harry bit his lip again and smiled shyly.

 

'Maybe,' he whispered.

 

'Harry you don't have to be shy about it. If you want to walk for them or model for them or whatever it is these designers do, I'm behind you one hundred per cent. Just say the word and we'll go.' Harry looked up at Louis.

 

'They want me to go to Florence. At their headquarters to meet me,' he said softly. Louis nodded.

 

'Alright. I will get Leonard to reply to them and tell them we will visit sometime next month. We need to go after we find the house Harry. That's our first priority right now. I hate living in hotels. Talking of which, we can't go to The Dorchester as I had planned since I didn't know that I will be having Byron. I will tell Leonard to rent us an apartment in Chelsea for the time being. I will make some phone calls tomorrow as soon as we get to Richmond. Then we'll plan our trip to Italy and take you to Gucci.'

 

Harry got up and flopped down in Louis lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. 'Thank you Lou. Did I tell you just how amazing you are?' Harry asked him as he pecked his lips. Louis smiled at him and ran his hand up his thigh.

 

'You are the amazing one out of the both of us Harry,' Louis told him and before Harry could open his mouth to protest, Louis put his index finger on Harry's lips stopping him. 'You are. Look at what you have done to me. Look at what you have turned me into. Look at what you have made out of my life, how far you have brought me! You are extraordinary and I can never thank you enough for all that you have done for me. Now I'm going to remove my finger off your lips and if you so much as contradict me, I will spank that ass of yours until you can't sit down,' Louis told him and slapped his ass playfully. Harry could only look at him fondly and lean in to kiss him, this time a little longer. When they pulled back, Harry got up off Louis' lap.

 

'Better clean the kitchen then see to my father so we can sleep early. We have a long day tomorrow.' Louis got up and began clearing the table.

 

'You do the dishes, I'll see to your dad.' Harry opened his mouth. 'You might wanna think about contradicting me there. You ass is on the line,' he told Harry giving him a wink. Harry shuffled from one foot to the other nervously.

 

'You will be nice yeah?' Harry asked him a little worried. Louis scoffed.

 

'I'm the fucking king of nice. What the fuck do you take me for? A caveman?' Harry chuckled.

 

'Something like that,' Harry muttered under his breath and Louis lunged at him tickling his ribs.

 

'Is that so you little minx? So I'm a caveman huh? Someone is getting sassy and needs to be punished. How about punishment by tickling huh or do you need something more hmm?' Louis told him as Harry shrieked and squirmed, his back pressed up against the fridge.

 

'P-please L-Lou st-stop please,' he laughed, trying to catch his breath.

 

'Say something nice. Make it up to me,' Louis told him as he tickled him some more.

 

'Y-you're b-beautiful a-and h-handsome...stop Lou please you're k-kind and m-mine please Louis,' Harry screamed. Louis took pity on him and stopped, pulling him in for a kiss.

 

'Only because you said I'm handsome. Now, what do I take to your dad?' Harry caught his breath and gave Louis a glass of juice and his father's medications.

 

'Be good,' Harry warned him.

 

'Always,' Louis told him, throwing him a cheeky grin. Louis strode off down the corridor and pushed open the door to find Des in bed watching the telly.

 

'Good evening Mr. Styles how are we this evening?' Louis asked him as he set his juice and tablets on the bedside table. Des ignored him. Louis grit his teeth together because this man was the epitome of arrogant and it irritated him that he was so stubborn because usually Louis broke them. Louis had met far more arrogant men than this pitiful man and he always broke them and got his way. But he had promised Marge that he would talk to this trash and promised Harry that he would be nice. Nice my ass! He pulled a chair and sat down, looking intently at the man who had part of him in Harry though he didn't know how big of a part that was. Harry hadn't taken his looks and he sure as hell hadn't taken his character or stone black heart!

 

'We leave tomorrow morning,' Louis informed him and Des ignored him but Louis knew that he could hear him. 'I am taking Harry to meet my mother and she is going to love him. She will treat him as her own. Obviously she will not replace his mother but I will make sure she will replace you and that the both of us together will make him forget you once and for all.' Nothing from Des but Louis could see his right eye twitch. Louis laced his fingers together and placed the tips against his mouth as if he was deep in thought.

 

'You know,' he continued, 'if you were a decent father to Harry, I wouldn't have thought twice about helping you with your failed business. As you know I am a very wealthy and very well known businessman. I have so many connections it would've been a piece of cake for me to get you out of trouble and to start you up again. Maybe get you into a good rehab center and speed up your recovery process so that you can get back to your life again but as things turn out, your are a very horrible man. I mean, to hate your son to the point of making him cry and breaking him morally just because he wants your love and acceptance and you being the arrogant prick that you are refrain from loving him just because he is gay, well that to me is the worst kind of human being. Well, besides my father of course. He was way worse than you. Some people just shouldn't father children and the both of you should have been castrated but then again, I'm grateful for you because you gave me that wonderful man in there !' Louis paused and looked at Des who was now looking at him. Louis gave him a hard glare.

 

'As much as I hate to say this, but just know that I am doing it for Harry because I love him so much and want to see him happy. Please, stop pushing him away. You are hurting him very much and I hate to see him hurting because it makes me want to hurt you back really badly and I can't do that because you are his father and he loves you. Talk to him. Listen to him. Open your heart to him. He will change your entire existence. He will make a difference in your miserable and pathetic life which you don't deserve but for Harry's sake I'm asking you to love him so that he can be fully happy. He deserves it. He deserves love, all the love this world can give him and you are the only dark spot on his very bright, happy future.' Louis paused and watched Des as he reached for his tablet. Des typed and Louis waited. When he stopped, Louis leaned forward to read what he had typed.

 

"Give me what I want and I will give him what he needs."

 

Louis' mouth opened but nothing came out. He looked at Des with what he assumed was a horrified and disgusted expression while Des looked back at him with a smug and cocky expression, challenging him.

 

'Are you fucking seriously bargaining with me for the love towards your only child? Are you going to fake loving your son just to get your business back?' Louis snarled at him. Des typed again.

 

"That's my offer. Take it or leave it. Its up to you now."

 

Louis stood up abruptly, pushing his chair back.

 

'You are a disgusting piece of filth. You want to be paid to love your son, something you should do because you are his father! But look at you! Pathetic and weak and that's how I will leave you because Harry doesn't deserve this. I will not play this sick game and watch you pretend to love him while he gets all happy and talks about you, how you came around to accepting him and how blessed he feels that his father loves him. You make me fucking sick! Just imagining it makes me what to beat the fuck out of you! Stay in that bed and rot. Harry will get by without you. Watch him flourish and become all that he wants to become and watch me stand by him and help him along the way and giving him all the love he needs. He will never fucking need you I will make sure of it so help me God. And just for the record,' Louis paused and snatched the tablet form Des' hand. He held it up and took a screenshot of what Des had written with his phone.

 

'I'm keeping this for safe keeping so if you fucking try anything, I will have you destroyed more than I already have you piece of shit.' Louis threw the tablet back in his lap and walked out the room. He found Harry resting against the counter biting his nails nervously. When Louis entered the kitchen, Harry pushed himself off the counter.

 

'Is everything alright? You were in there for a very long time,' he told him, worry lacing his voice. Louis gave him a small smile and kissed the side of his mouth.

 

'Its all good love. Your dad and I just had a little chat. Come on, lets go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.' Harry nodded and Louis wrapped his arms around his waist and guided him upstairs to their bedroom.

 

 

X

 

 

Next morning by nine, Louis and Harry were ready to leave. They both stood in the kitchen making final arrangements with Marge.

 

'Marge you have my phone number now so call me for anything alright,' Harry told her for the hundredth time. Marge smiled at him fondly.

 

'Yes Harry darling I will,' she told him.

 

'And you will keep me updated on my dad's progress or if he needs anything right?' Harry pressed. Marge nodded.

 

'Yes sweetheart I will,' Marge reassured him. Harry sighed in relief as Louis watched him fondly while Harry freaked out.

 

'I will send you our address as soon as we find a home and we are settled,' Harry told her. Louis cleared his throat and gave him a fond smile.

 

'Harry enough with the hissy fits. We should really get going. Its a three hour drive to Richmond,' Louis told him, a hint of authority in his voice. Louis knew that sometimes Harry needed his authority on him. Harry nodded.

 

'I'll um just go and say bye to my dad yeah,' he told him.

 

'I'll come with you,' Louis told him not wanting to leave him alone for a second with that piece of shit and risk letting him make Harry cry. They entered the room.

 

'Dad,' Harry said as he walked towards the bed. Louis stayed in the doorway obseving. 'Dad I'm going but you can reach me if you um ever want to I mean. I left my phone number with Marge yeah.' Louis watched as Des wouldn't even meet Harry's eyes. Harry leaned over the bed and placed a kiss on his father's forehead and Des quickly raised his good hand and wiped at his forehead. Louis curled his hands into fists wanting to go over and beat the motherfucker to a pulp. Harry gave his dad a small sad smile.

 

'I love you dad. Always,' he told him and he stood there waiting for Des to look at him but he didn't. Louis grabbed Harry's wrist and tugged.

 

'Come on love let's go,' he told him wanting to save Harry from further pain. Harry nodded and let Louis lead him out of the room, still looking at his dad hoping till the last moment that he would say something, anything but the door closed on Des and Harry left with nothing. Once out in the corridor, Louis hugged him tightly.

 

'Are you alright baby?' Harry cuddled in closer, burying his face in the crook of Louis' neck.

 

'Yeah I'm good. Let's go. I'm dying to meet you mum,' he told him, pulling back and giving Louis a smile. Louis squeezed his hand. This boy's strength amazed him even though he knew that he was hurting deep inside!

 

'She's going to be so surprised.'

 

'Wait what? You didn't tell her we're coming?' Harry exclaimed as they began walking back into the kitchen. Louis gave him a small smirk.

 

'She knows I'm coming but not that I'm bringing you with me. Like I told you, I always spend the New Year with her and we hold the annual New Year Charity Gala to make some people happy. Every year we choose a different charity in whose honor we throw the Gala. This year it will be for the Dora Eden Foundation. Many rich people attend this event and we make a lot of money for said charity. So yeah she knows I'm coming but you will be the surprise.' Harry gave him a worried look.

 

'Are you sure she will be okay with me Lou?' Harry asked him and Louis couldn't help but pull him closer and kiss his lips gently.

 

'She will adore you Harry just as much as I do. She will be stunned because I never ever took anyone to meet her. Prepare yourself for a shit load of questions, tea, hugs, kisses and lots of love and doting. That's my mother for ya.' Harry smiled big.

 

'I like her already.' Louis slapped his ass playfully.

 

'Good now lets get going shall we?' Harry nodded happily and they both hugged Marge tightly and promised to keep in touch. They got into Louis' Range Rover and pulled out on to the road, heading for Richmond. Louis took the M40 motorway and they made their way through Stoke on Trent, Walsall and on to Birmingham. Harry took control of the music and played Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks, particularly having fun singing along at the top of his voice to "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac, dancing in his seat making Byron yap in the backseat and trying to hop into Harry's lap. Louis found it all so adorable and couldn't help fond at his boyfriend who sang along happily.

 

They made a few stops on the way to let Byron out and for them to have some lunch at a restaurant that was pet friendly. When they were done, they got back into the Range Rover for the last hour of their journey. Louis steered them on to the M25 motorway which would take them straight into Richmond. Both Harry and Byron fell asleep and Louis couldn't help but smile to himself and think how lucky and blessed he was that despite his horrifying past, Harry had accepted him and was still here with him and wanted him in his future. Louis gripped the steering wheel tightly and refused to think about his past any longer. He was free now, no longer chained to his dark past and it was all thanks to the angel sleeping in the passenger seat, his head against the window, his mouth open snoring softly. Louis left the steering wheel for a brief moment only to place his handover Harry's large hand and squeezed it lightly. Harry did not stir.

 

Finally, Louis pulled in to the town of Richmond. Richmond was a very beautiful and romantic town. It is situated on the outskirts of the Yorkshire Dales in North Yorkshire and the South West of London, on the South bank of the River Thames. When Louis had found this place for his mother, he had wanted her to remain in Yorkshire which she loved so much but also to be close to him in London. He needed her close but she had refused to live in the big city.

 

Richmond Castle was located in the town center and over looked the beautiful River Swale. It has a large number of parks and open spaces. Richmond housed museums and art galleries, theaters and cinemas, pubs, bars, restaurants and cafes. Louis made a mental note to take Harry around the old town because he knew how much Harry loved history and museums and Louis was fairly certain he would find Richmond intriguing.

 

'Harry,' Louis called softly, gently shaking his thigh. Harry stirred and opened his eyes slowly.

 

'Are we there yet?' he asked in a groggy voice. Louis chuckled at his sleepy boyfriend.

 

'Yeah. We'll be at the house in ten minutes,' he told him. Harry sat up straighter and rubbed his face while simultaneously running his fingers through his short curls trying to fix them. Louis squeezed his thigh.

 

'You look amazing love. Don't fret.' Harry scowled at him.

 

'I'm not meeting your mother looking like this,' he told him as he pulled down the sun visor and looked at himself in the mirror. He groaned. 'I look like shit. Why didn't you wake me earlier?' Louis looked at him.

 

'Hissy fit?' he asked him playfully. Harry rolled his eyes and Louis squeezed his thigh harder. 'Rolling your eyes at me now too hmm? You really need to be disciplined.' Harry gulped.

 

'Don't do this to me now Lou,' Harry protested.

 

'Do what?' Louis asked him innocently. Harry blushed.

 

'You know, be um be Sir. Don't be Sir now.' Harry leaned over the console, closer to Louis. 'Can't meet your mother sporting a hard on now can I?' Louis threw his head back and laughed.

 

'Alright but we need to do something about your smart mouth and sassy attitude.' Harry looked down at his lap, instantly going into submissive pose.

 

'Yes Sir,' he whispered.

 

'Good boy,' Louis complimented him as he pulled into the drive way of a huge house with an impressive front garden that had a fountain in the middle of it. Harry looked up at the house in awe. It was almost as big as the house that Louis had in London. Louis parked the car in front of the door and immediately a man rushed out of the house to greet them. Louis got out of the car and Harry followed suit, opening the back door and letting out Byron, holding him by his leash. Louis greeted the man.

 

'Hello Hugh its nice to see you again.' They shook hands.

 

'Its very nice to have you back Sir. Its been a while,' Hugh told him. He was an elderly gentleman, with graying hair and a goatee. Louis turned to Harry and motioned for him to walk over.

 

'Hugh, this is my partner Mr. Harry Styles.' Harry smiled at the man and watched his eyes grow wide, his mouth open and stare at Harry as if he was an apparition. Harry smiled at him.

 

'Hello,' he said shyly.

 

'Harry this is Hugh Wilson, my mother's butler,' Louis introduced. Hugh cleared his throat and extended his hand towards Harry which he took and shook lightly.

 

'Its a pleasure to meet you Mr. Styles,' Hugh told him, the surprise still evident on him.

 

'Please, just Harry,' Harry told him. Louis bent down and picked up Byron.

 

'And this is Byron, my dog,' he announced proudly ruffling the little pup behind his ear who licked his face making Louis chuckle. Hugh who couldn't seem to close his mouth looked from Louis to Harry to Byron. Louis laughed. 'You weren't expecting all of this weren't you?' Hugh blushed.

 

'My apologies Sir but no I was not expecting you to – to...'

 

'Have a partner and a dog?' Louis asked him playfully. Hugh closed his mouth not knowing what to say without disrespecting his employer. Louis clapped him on the back. 'Things change old chap, things change. Where is my mother?' Hugh cleared his throat again trying to recover from the surprise of Mr. Tomlinson having an actual partner and a dog!

 

'She is in the conservatory Sir. Shall I send out orders to have the guest bedroom made up for um Mr. Styles?' Louis chuckled as he walked inside the large beautiful house.

 

'He's staying in my bedroom Hugh. Tell Polly to make us some lunch please. We are starving. And tell Floyd to take up our luggage to my bedroom. Thank you so much Hugh,' Louis told him as he walked towards the conservatory, Harry tagging along behind him, his mouth open as he took in the lavish house. When they arrived at the conservatory door, Louis turned to look at Harry.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked him as he put Byron down and gave the leash to Harry.

 

'Y-yeah I-I think so,' he stammered then looked at Louis.' No fuck I'm nervous Lou. I'm so nervous.' Louis laughed at Harry's pained expression and leaned in to kiss his pouting lips.

 

'Relax. She's gonna love you. Trust me. Do you trust me hmm?' Harry shifted from one foot to the other.

 

'You know I do Lou,' he whined. Louis kissed him again.

 

'Then trust me when I tell you that you have nothing to be nervous about. She is going to go crazy over you and will want to keep you for herself. I'd like to see her try,' Louis told him playfully giving him a wink.

 

'Louuuuu,' Harry whined. Louis kissed him again and pushed open the conservatory door, not giving Harry any more time to have doubts. As soon as they entered, Harry could see the woman sitting facing the garden beyond the conservatory door, her back to them. She sat very straight in a wheelchair and he could see her long brown hair cascading past her shoulders. Harry's insides where turning upside down and the butterflies in his stomach were raging war against him.

 

'Mum,' Louis said as the woman in the wheelchair wheeled herself around to face Louis and Harry gasped because she was radiant. She was immensely beautiful and the smile she gave Louis was beatific, her eyes full of adoration. She held out her arms.

 

'Louis my darling you came. Oh how I've missed you,' she said as he watched Louis fall into her arms and she hugged him as if her life depended on it. She kissed his hair. 'I missed you so much my dear boy.' Louis hugged her tighter.

 

'I missed you too mum. Sorry I didn't come sooner. Life got too busy.' Louis pulled back and his mother cupped his face between her hands and kissed his cheeks. Harry felt awkward standing there intruding on this intimate moment between Louis and his mother.

 

'It's alright sweetheart. I understand how demanding life can be and.....' she stopped suddenly, her eyes leaving Louis' face and resting on Harry. 'And who is this then?' she asked softly eyeing Harry. Louis straightened up and smiled at her. He extended his hand to Harry. Harry moved forward towards Louis, his legs feeling wobbly and took his hand.

 

'Mum, this is Harry. He is um he's my partner. Harry this is my mum Johanna.' Johanna's eyes were still fixed on Harry, large and blue and they began to water as she covered her mouth with both her hands.

 

'Hello Mrs. Tomlinson,' Harry told her shyly. 'Its an honor to meet you.' Louis squeezed his hand in reassurance but Johanna didn't say anything. She kept staring at Harry as her eyes filled with tears. She let out a shaky breath and looked at Louis.

 

'You have a partner?' she asked him in disbelief. Louis smiled at her.

 

'I do mum. Had him for almost a year.'

 

'Oh my God Louis,' Johanna breathed as the tears rolled down her cheeks. 'Oh my God son. I can't believe this.' Harry was feeling even more awkward. Was she okay with this or wasn't she? Her blue eyes landed on Harry again and she held out her hand to him. Louis nudged him forward a little and Harry took her hand.

 

'Hello Harry,' she told him, her voice all choked up and her eyes shining. 'I am so happy to meet you. This...you are such a surprise. Such a beautiful surprise. Oh my God,' she repeated. She smiled at him still holding his hand. 'Come sit down next to me,' she told him and Harry sat down beside her. She kept staring at him with a smile on her face. Louis sat down next to him and took his other hand. Johanna looked at Louis.

 

'He is so beautiful Louis. How did this happen?' she asked him softly. 'You never mentioned him to me whenever we talked on the phone.' Louis looked at Harry who was blushing furiously then back to his mum with a fond smile on his face.

 

'I honestly don't know how it happened mum. He just barreled into my life and I fell in love with him.' Johanna made a sobbing sound in her throat and fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

 

'You fell in love?' she asked him and Harry couldn't grasp if she was shocked, surprised or horrified. But she was smiling and her eyes were full of tears so that must be good he thought. 'My baby boy fell in love with this beautiful boy. Are you in love with my son Harry?' Harry gave her his dimpled smile.

 

'Very much so Mrs. Tomlinson. It was love at first sight for me,' he told her and Johanna hiccuped another sob. Louis let go of Harry's hand and got down on his knees beside her wheelchair and took her hand.

 

'Don't cry mum please,' Louis soothed her but Johanna seemed agitated. She looked at Louis, her eyes searching his face as if she wanted to tell him something. 'What is it mum?' Louis asked her gently. Johanna looked at Harry then back to Louis. She leaned over to get closer to Louis.

 

'Does he.....know?' she whispered softly. Louis smiled and kissed his mother's hand then got up and sat back down next to Harry, closer and wrapped his arm around his waist.

 

'He knows everything mum. Every little detail. All of it.' This time Johanna burst into tears, covering her face with both hands and sobbing quietly into them. Harry looked from her to Louis perplexed because he couldn't understand what was going on. Louis patted him on the knee indicating it was alright. After a while, she raised her head and met Harry's green eyes that looked at her with worry.

 

'You know it all and you stayed with him,' she told him through her tears. Harry nodded and looked at Louis.

 

'I love him. His past is not who he is. Louis is kind and he deserves love after...' Harry paused and looked down, searching for the right words. Louis rubbed his back. Harry looked up again at Johanna. 'After all he went through, he deserves all the love in this world and I will make sure he will get it every day of his life.' Johanna reached out to him and took both his hands just as Louis placed a kiss on his temple.

 

'I have just met you and I can see why my son has fallen in love with you,' she told him smiling. 'Louis be a dear and tell Polly to make tea. You two have a lot to tell me and I want to hear it all. In detail. From when you first met to the moment you walked in through my front door.'

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon with Jay, as she told Harry to call her, in the conservatory talking. They told her all about their relationship, with its ups and downs and Harry was surprised that Louis was so close to his mother that he even told her about when he had raped him and Johanna had cried while giving Harry abundant kisses and hugs as if she was trying to make up for what her son had done to him. She had hugged him some more when Harry had told her about his mother's illness and passing away and what his father had done. Harry felt himself getting attached to this woman who was showering him with affection and because she was an amazingly strong woman.

 

Just as they were talking about their plans about finding a new home once they got to London, Louis' phone rang. He took it out and looked at it.

 

'Its work. I really have to take it,' he told them as he got up and walked out of the room. Jay kept looking at him as he walked out and closed the door behind him. She sighed heavily and looked at Harry.

 

'I am so glad he found you Harry,' she told him quietly. 'And that you can love him despite all that he has been through.'

 

'I just wish he would've told me sooner. There were times I couldn't understand him or his actions but I knew deep down that something bad had happened to him. I-I just d-didn't know the extent of it.' Johanna dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

 

'I wish I could've helped him more. I wish I could've been stronger for him back then to stop that monster......' she stopped as she burst into fresh tears. Harry leaned towards her and placed his hand over hers.

 

'You couldn't have done anything. He told me how he treated you and how he threatened you.' Jay looked at him as more tears fell out of her eyes.

 

'I was so scared. I had two other little ones and I was terrified he would kill my little boy. He used to tell me that if I ran away with his kids, he would find me, drag me back and make me watch while he raped Louis then slit his throat slowly and make me sit there watching him bleed to death and that if I looked away or closed my eyes, he would do the same to Lottie and Fizzy. They were only tiny tots and I was so scared for Louis because he would've done it. He was cruel and he would've done it. The pain he inflicted on my boy........' she stopped again as she broke out fully sobbing. Harry held her hand tightly. When her sobbing calmed down, she looked back at Harry.

 

'I wish Louis had killed him that night. I know it sounds selfish and if he had, Louis would have been trailed for murder once he had turned eighteen but that man doesn't deserve to be alive. Not after what he did to my precious boy.'

 

'And to you,' Harry interrupted her. Jay squeezed his hand.

 

'Because of him, my four other babies where taken from me. He denied me being their mother. I lost my kids because of him. I don't care that he put me in a wheelchair but I have six other kids out there. I know that they are thriving and well taken care of and that Louis provides for them but they are my babies. I am their mother and that monster took mother hood away from me. When Louis found me, I was overjoyed to have my boy back. He has done so much for me. It is thanks to him that I can actually move. He keeps me updated on my other six babies so I am very grateful for that boy. And now I'm grateful for you, for loving him and making him happy. I have never seen him glow the way he is right now. That shine in his eyes, the smile on his lips, that lightness about him, its all you Harry. You did all that. You gave life back to my boy and for that I will be eternally grateful to you.' It was Harry's turn to cry now.

 

'He changed my life too. He has done so much for me. He is an amazing person and I'm so happy he chose to love me and let me love him.' Jay took him in her arms and hugged him tightly.

 

'I have gained another son,' she whispered into his ear and Harry hugged her a little tighter. The door opening broke their hug as Louis walked in and sat down next to Harry. He looked from one to the other.

 

'Were you two having a crying fest?' he asked them, a smile on his lips. Jay slapped his thigh.

 

'Harry and I just got emotional that's all. Are you alright honey?' Louis ran a hand through his hair.

 

'Yeah just some problems at work. I have a video conference call in like an hour to sort out some things regarding this new merger deal we are doing with another company. Its all too fucking complicated.'

 

'Language,' Jay scolded him.

 

'Sorry mum. I'm just a little stressed out right now.' Jay smiled at him.

 

'Well its been a long day and you both look tired so why don't we call it a night yeah? I'm exhausted but very happy and I can't wait till tomorrow to have you both to myself again.' Jay rang a small bell and after a while the door opened and a tall woman entered the room. She reminded Harry of Minerva McGonagall. He stared at her a little too long.

 

'Maggie, this is my son's partner Harry. Harry this is Maggie, my carer.' Harry shook hands with the woman still a little gobsmacked at how much she looked like Minerva. Jay smiled at her. 'I'm ready to retire Maggie.' Louis got up and kissed his mother's cheek.

 

'Goodnight mum. See you in the morning.' Jay kissed him back then reached for Harry who bent down to hug her. Jay hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

 

'Welcome to our family Harry. Just know that you will be loved here.' Harry hugged her tighter then watched as "Minerva" wheeled her out of the room. When they were alone, Harry turned to Louis and he knew that look on his face, the look of stress.

 

'Are you alright Lou?' Harry asked him cautiously. Louis huffed.

 

'I feel like this fucking merger is a whole lot of waste of time and its going to flop big time and I invested a lot in it.' Harry moved closer to him.

 

'It will be alright love. Have faith. You can do this.' Louis gave him a nod.

 

'Lets go to our room. I have to be ready for the video call.' With that he strode out of the room with Harry following behind him. They went up the wide stairs on to the second landing, Harry taking in the beautiful home. Louis stopped in front of an oak double door and pushed them open. Harry gawked as he stepped inside. The room was huge and lavish. It was decorated in soft creams and browns with a touche of bronze. The four poster bed was huge with a cream duvet and brown and bronze pillows on it. The carpet was thick and beige, the curtains bronze. On the far side of the room there was a desk and chair which Harry presumed was where Louis worked from whenever he was here. There was also a large bathroom and closet. Their bags were by the door.

 

'Wow,' Harry said amazed because everything with Louis was extravagant and rich.

 

'Make yourself comfortable,' Louis told him as he walked over to the desk, flopped down in his chair and booted his laptop. Harry could feel the tension and stress radiating off of Louis and once he was done with his work tonight, Harry was going to be there to help him unwind and lose that tension. Harry unpacked their bags and put everything away. When he was done, he sent Marge a text telling her that they had arrived safely and settled in, also mentioning how lovely Louis' mum was. Harry looked over at Louis who was engrossed talking on the phone arguing and Harry felt sorry for the poor soul on the other end of the call. They didn't stand a chance with CEO Louis! He smiled to himself as the word CEO sent a tingling feeling throughout his body. Harry was in the mood for play and what other way was there than to get his hot CEO boyfriend out of his funk if not with some intimate play? When Louis ended the phone call and slumped back in his chair looking pissed off and irritated, Harry walked over to him and sat on his desk.

 

'Stressed Sir?' Harry asked him in his deep soft drawl and playful voice. Louis closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

 

'Not now Harry,' he told him curtly. There it was! The authority! The dominance! Harry slid closer to him until he was sitting on the desk in front of Louis, his long legs slightly parted.

 

'Anything I can do to ease off your tension Sir?' Harry asked him huskily. That got Louis' attention. He looked up at Harry.

 

'Don't get me like this when I have a fucking video call in less than twenty minutes,' Louis warned him.

 

'What if I do?' Harry challenged. 'Will Mr. CEO have to punish me?'

 

'Don't push your fucking luck Harry. I told you to tone down your sassiness. It's like you want to be punished,' Louis growled at him. He knew what Harry was doing and he was going to go along with it. Harry slid off the desk and got down on his knees in front of Louis.

 

'You can fuck the sassiness out of my mouth Sir,' Harry told him, his voice low and deep and soft like honey. Louis felt his words go to his dick. Harry ran his hands up Louis' thighs, slowly, dragging them up to make sure that Louis felt his hands on him. He stopped at the button of his pants.

 

'Harry don't!' Louis warned him again. 'The call should come in anytime.' Harry looked up at him and smirked.

 

'Then lets see how much control Mr. CEO has then shall we?' Before Louis could reply, Harry unzipped him and pulled him out of his boxers. Louis hissed. Harry bent his head forwards and began to kitten lick Louis' dick, his tongue darting out just a little to lick at the head. Louis wasn't fully hard but Harry was determined to get him there.

 

'Harry,' Louis growled as he gripped the arms of the chair tightly. Harry looked up at him through his lashes, giving him an innocent look knowing what that did to Louis and continued to just flick his tongue out not taking him into his mouth. Just then, Louis' video call came through. He tried to push Harry off but Harry gripped his thighs tightly, digging his fingers into his flesh.

 

'Harry don't fucking do this! This is important!' Louis told him sternly. Harry looked deep into his eyes and smirked.

 

'Exercise your control Sir. You are all about control. I am pretty sure you can control yourself while I give you head,' Harry taunted him as licked up his shaft, making Louis shiver.

 

'You are so going to get fucking punished for this,' Louis growled at him as he took the call. He composed himself as best he could while Harry continued to lick at his dick and pumping him tortuously slow. Louis was losing his resolve. Harry was driving him fucking insane with need and lust. He gripped the edge of the desk hard and tried to focus on Lynn who was on the screen giving him specifications as to what to expect from this video conference with the people in Japan. Louis took in a deep breath. He was fully hard now. As Lynn looked away from the screen and fiddled with the computer, Louis looked down at Harry who was still working on his dick. He wanted to card his fingers through his curls so badly and fuck his mouth senseless but he would have to wait. He was going to make him pay for this dearly. Just then, Harry pulled off and gave Louis a smile.

 

'I'm off for a shower Sir,' he told him seductively.

 

'I'll deal with you after my call is done!' Louis hissed at him sternly and Harry smiled to himself as he felt Louis' commanding voice run through his veins down to his dick.

 

Harry took his time in the shower, allowing Louis time to focus on his call. After all, he knew better that to distract him that much as to ruin his work. He washed his hair and used his Blueberry body scrub to make his skin soft. When he was done, he towel dried himself and applied his favorite apricot body butter all over his body. He wanted to smell and taste good for Louis. Lastly, he did his face routine : cleanser, tonic and moisturizer. When he was done, he looked at himself in the mirror and liked what he saw. He wrapped a clean towel round his waist and padded out into the bedroom.....to find Louis pacing the room like a fuming bull. Harry stopped in his tracks just as Louis looked up at him.

 

'Get your ass over here. Now!' Louis growled angrily. Harry hurried over to him and stood before him, his head bowed, eyes down. 'What the fuck where you trying to pull seducing me like that huh?' Louis roared. Harry knew it was role play but Louis' voice and the timbre of authority in it made him tremble because it was far from role play.

 

'I am sorry I stepped out of line Sir,' Harry was quick to say.

 

'Stepped out of line?' Louis growled. 'You have been a sassy little shit for a while and I can't have that. You need to be disciplined. You need to know your fucking place. Naughty boys get punished.' Louis grabbed Harry's wrist tightly and pulled him towards the bed, standing at the foot of it.

 

'Bend over,' Louis ordered and Harry was quick to obey, bending over at the waist, his chest to the mattress. Louis pulled off his towel, exposing Harry's bum. He looked him over, tracing his fingers over the faint white scars left by his belt. Then he took both his wrists and pinned his hands behind his back, holding them tightly.

 

'Do you know why you're being punished?' Louis asked him roughly. Harry's heart was beating fast in his chest.

 

'Yes Sir. I have been sassy and disrespectful to you. I have been a tease and I have undermined your authority and control,' Harry told him quietly.

 

'I am going to spank you ten times. What's your color Harry?'

 

'Green,' Harry replied. Louis landed his open palm on Harry's bum making him gasp. He wasn't expecting that and it stung!

 

'Green what?'

 

'Green Sir,' Harry was quick to reply as another hard smack landed on his other bum cheek. He hissed. Another one landed on his bum. Harry decided to push Louis a little further. He needed more and he knew that Louis also needed more. Louis was used to a little rougher things than mere spankings and now that Harry knew both their limits, he knew that he could allow Louis a little more. Another loud smack landed on his cheek. Harry smiled to himself.

 

'Is that all you got Sir?' Harry said in a mocking tone. Louis paused, his hand in mid air as he was about to land another spank, shocked at the nerve Harry was showing.

 

'You deserve a harsher punishment for that arrogant mouth of yours,' Louis told him. He let go of his wrists. 'Stay and don't move an inch or you will regret it.' Harry gave him a nod. Louis walked over to his bag and pulled out the Rotweiller collar and leash that he had bought from the pet shop. Louis fingered the thick leather collar with the two metal buckles and the metal ring where the leash should be attached. Feeling it in his hand made him hard especially the thought that it was going around Harry's pale delicate neck. He walked over to the bed and stood behind Harry.

 

'Get up and get down on your knees,' Louis ordered and Harry was quick to obey.

 

'You are going to be collared for that smart sassy mouth of yours,' Louis told him as he fastened the collar around Harry's neck. Harry kept his eyes lowered as Louis worked. When the collar was in place, Louis attached the leash, the chain heavy and glinting while the leather strap in his hand soft. He tugged on the leash and watched Harry move with it. It was highly arousing.

 

'What's your colour?'

 

'Green Sir,' Harry replied demurely.

 

'Now, here's your punishment. You are going to get ten spankings with this leather strap of the leash and you are going to take it like a good boy. I am going to put a cock ring on you cos there ain't no way you're are fucking allowed to come. I am going to play with you for as long as I want and you are going to endure it and cum when I allow you to. Do you understand?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry replied though he was beginning to tremble. Louis let go of the leash, letting the heavy chain fall with a thud to the carpet. He walked back to his bag where he had packed all the sex toys that Harry had used at the hearing and produced a silicone cock ring. While there, he also pulled out a pair of handcuffs with the pink fuzzy fur. He walked back towards Harry.

 

'Get up,' he ordered. Harry stood up, his knees creaking loudly in the quiet bedroom. 'Hands behind your back.' Louis went behind him and locked the cuffs on his wrists. Louis got the lube and squirted some on his hands which he rubbed together so it won't be too cold on Harry. Louis reached down to grab Harry's cock and began pumping him slowly. Harry closed his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip as a soft moan escaped his lips. He looked gorgeous standing there naked, his hands cuffed behind his back, thick black leather collar round his neck and the heavy silver chain dangling down his chest, past his cock and down to his shins. Louis pumped him harder, watching Harry's body tremble. When he was hard enough, Louis stopped and slid the cock ring down his shaft, settling it at the base. Harry whined in protest.

 

'Something you want to say?' Louis snapped at him.

 

'N-no S-sir,' Harry whined.

 

'Good. Now resume your earlier position bent over the bed.' Harry was quick to obey and when he was in position, Louis took the leash in his hand and fingered the leather strap. He tugged at it, knowing Harry could feel it around his neck. He landed a hit on Harry's bum, the loud smack resonating around the room.

 

'Ahhh,' Harry cried out. The leather hurt but it was a good kind of hurt.

 

'Color?' Louis asked because he couldn't get too carried away. He wouldn't get carried away. Harry trusted him. He reminded himself that Harry controlled this not him.

 

'G-green,' Harry choked out and almost immediately, Louis landed another smack, making Harry cry out and tears pool in his eyes.

 

'Count for me,' Louis ordered as the third smack landed on Harry's bum.

 

'T-three Sir,' Harry panted out. He pulled at the cuffs as the fourth one landed on his other cheek.

 

'F-four Sir,' he groaned, tears falling from his eyes as pleasure and pain collided and coursed through his body. His dick was already very hard and he didn't know how long he was going to last without coming.

 

'You can stop me anytime,' Louis reminded him as he landed the fifth smack. 'Use your colors.'

 

'Green fucking green Sir,' Harry spat out. 'Fuck! Green!'

 

'Language,' Louis scolded him landing the sixth smack just beneath his bum right where his thigh began.

 

'Ahhhh fuck s-six Sir,' Harry cursed his fingers curling closing around air. Louis smiled to himself enjoying this a little way too much. He landed another hard one on the back of Harry's thigh making him squirm.

 

'Oh God,' he whined.

 

'What was that?' Louis asked him.

 

'S-seven Sir seven please Sir,' Harry mumbled incoherently. He was lost in a pleasure so complete he didn't even know what he was saying. Louis could see that Harry was squirming and thrusting his hips into the mattress, trying to get friction on his hard dick.

 

'Now now none of that!' Louis snapped at him. 'No humping the mattress. Remember what I told you. Are you going to be good for me?'

 

'Ye-yes Sir. More please Sir,' Harry begged and Louis smiled as he landed the last three smacks in quick succession making Harry yelp and cry out. 'Oh God Sir thank you,' he panted out breathlessly. Louis stroked his red ass lovingly. It felt hot to the touch.

 

'Are you alright sweetheart?' he asked him gently as he bent over him and placed kisses on his lower back. 'You took that very well.' Harry closed his eyes and smiled.

 

'Yes Sir I'm fine. Thank you.'

 

'Good,' Louis said. 'On to the next part of your punishment,' he told him as he helped Harry to stand up. He wobbled a little on his feel and Louis held him.

 

'My bum feels like its on fire,' Harry told him lazily.

 

'Does it hurt? Did I hurt you?' Louis asked him a hint of panic in his voice. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'It hurt. But in a good way.' He gave Louis a wink.

 

'When did you become such a sassy little shit hmm?' Louis told him playfully as he led him to the bed. He placed the keys to the handcuffs and lube on the bedside table and undressed himself. Then climbed on the bed and sat with his back against the headboard. Harry stood beside the bed waiting for instructions from Louis.

 

'Get on my lap and you are going to ride me, with your hands tied behind your back and without prep. I know you can take me without prep. You will not cum until I tell you to. You are going to do all the work because that's what naughty boys do even though you are being good at taking your punishment very well. Do you understand?' Harry nodded. 'Now come on then, get to work,' Louis told him. Harry nodded and put one knee on the bed, trying to haul himself on to Louis' lap with his hands tied behind his back. It was a difficult task and he nearly fell off the bed sideways twice but finally he was straddling Louis' lap. Louis ran his hands up Harry's bare thighs.

 

'So beautiful,' Louis commented and Harry keened at the compliment. He moved his hips forward trying to find friction with Louis dick. Harry was so hard, his dick was aching. Louis coated himself with lube, wiped his hands on the sheets and looked up at Harry.

 

'All yours,' he said with a smirk. 'Make me cum.' Harry tried to position himself over Louis' dick but with his hands tied, it was difficult to get into position.

 

'Sir can you please help me?' Harry asked him in a low, respectful voice. Louis nodded.

 

'Just because you said please.' He tapped his hip. 'Lift,' he ordered and Harry lifted himself off Louis' lap slightly allowing Louis to position his dick at his entrance. Harry bit his bottom lip as he started to go down on Louis' dick. He felt the head breach his tight rim and he hissed, scrunching up his face at the pain.

 

'What's you colour?' Louis groaned.

 

'G-g-green,' Harry whispered because the burn and stretch was making him breathless. He took in deep breaths and continued to slide down until he bottomed out. Harry sat still on Louis' lap.

 

'Alright?' Louis asked him. Harry felt so warm inside, so smooth and so wet and it was driving Louis crazy to be buried in his tight heat.

 

'Y-yes Sir I-I just need a moment please,' Harry said. Louis nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head back and relishing in Harry's heat. Harry began to move slowly, rocking his hips back and forth, keeping Louis inside of him. They both groaned together at the feeling.

 

'More,' Louis ordered so Harry lifted himself off Louis until only the head was inside him and slammed down again, letting out a filthy moan as Louis hit his prostate dead on. He did it again and again, Louis' fingers digging into the soft flesh of his thighs. Harry continued to bounce on Louis but his movements were getting sloppy. His thighs burned with the force of lifting himself up, his arms ached from being bound and his dick hurt and it felt painful. The tears leaked out of his eyes unwillingly and he slowed down his movements. He didn't mean to cry but his body was getting tired. Louis kept his eyes closed but could he feel the change in Harry's pace.

 

'Color baby?' Louis asked. Harry took in a deep shuddering breath.

 

'Y-yellow,' he whispered not meaning to say it but he was aching all over and he was reaching his limit. Louis' eyes flew open and he searched Harry's face. When he saw him crying, he sat bolt upright making Harry groan loudly as Louis' sudden movement make his dick jab hard into his prostate.

 

'Baby what is it? Where are you hurt? Have I hurt you?' Louis asked him panicked. Harry sniffed and leaned forward resting his forehead on Louis' shoulder.

 

'I-I'm so sorry I color coded. I-I just....I'm tired. I'm reaching my limit. I-I can't do it,' Harry whimpered, feeling very disappointed with himself. Louis reached over to the bedside table and quickly grabbed the keys to the handcuffs. He fumbled with the lock.

 

'Its alright baby I got you. I got you. You did good sweetheart so very good,' he told him as he undid the cuffs and threw them on the floor. He massaged Harry's wrists and kissed them lovingly. 'Tell me what you need sweetheart. Tell me.' Harry sniffed again.

 

'I need to cum please it hurts and my thighs are tired. I-I c-can't....'

 

'Shh shh shh its alright baby. I'll take care of you. I'm gonna take your cock ring off alright. I'm so sorry baby I pushed you too much. I'm so proud of you for using your colors ,' Louis praised him as he poured some lube on Harry's dick to make the ring slide off easier. Harry whimpered as Louis' fingers touched his hard dick because it needed to be touched and it hurt and was very sensitive.

 

'There we go,' Louis soothed when he heard Harry hiss as he pulled it off completely. 'Better my angel?' he asked him, kissing his face. Harry nodded, making a small whining noise. Louis tapped his hip.

 

'Get off me baby and lie down on the bed yeah.' Harry did as he was told and slowly he got up, easing Louis out of him and lay down on the bed, sighing with relief. His bum burned as did the muscles of his thighs from over exerting them. Louis climbed on top of him and spread his legs settling between them. He leaned down and kissed him softly and slowly.

 

'Are you sure you want to continue doing this?' Louis asked him gently.

 

'Yes,' Harry was quick to reply. Louis smiled and kissed his nose.

 

'Alright love.' He entered him as gently as he could, not wanting to hurt Harry and moved slowly in and out of him. Harry wrapped his legs around Louis' waist and pulled him closer, digging his heels into Louis' bum.

 

'Harder,' Harry whispered in his ear. 'Faster.' Louis nodded and picked up the pace, thrusting into Harry at a quicker, deeper and faster pace. Harry moaned beneath him and pushed up his hips to meet Louis' thrusts. 'Help me Lou,' Harry begged him. Louis could feel his own orgasm building but he was going to get Harry there first. He deserved it. He reached down between them and fisted Harry's cock and began to pump him to the same rhythm of his thrusts. Harry moaned louder.

 

'A-almost I-I'm s-so close,' Harry whispered and Louis thrust harder. Harry arched his back off the mattress and came hard all over Louis' hand, his tummy and chest while moaning out Louis name. The vision beneath him sent Louis off the edge and he came hard deep inside Harry. Harry lay spent beneath him, eyes closed, breathing hard. Louis pulled out of him gently and rolled over on to his back, his chest rising and falling hard. He turned his head to look at Harry who still had his eyes closed. Louis took Harry's hand and locked their fingers together, placing both hands on his chest.

 

'I love you Harry,' Louis said quietly. Harry moaned a little. Louis turned to look at him and Harry looked blissfully fucked out. Louis rolled onto his side and leaned up on his elbow. He leaned down and kissed Harry's lips.

 

'Are you with me love?' Louis asked him, tracing his butterfly tattoo. Harry smiled lazily.

 

'Hmm,' he replied. Louis kissed him again.

 

'My beautiful boy,' he whispered against his lips. Harry's eyes fluttered open and he met Louis' tender gaze. 'There you are,' Louis said fondly. 'Hi.'

 

'My bum hurts,' Harry moaned. 'In a good way though.' Louis chuckled.

 

'How about I fill up the bath and we soak for a while and let me take care of you hmm? I know you like after sex care.'

 

'I do,' Harry said as he cuddled into Louis, burying his face in Louis' neck. 'I'm cold.' Louis could see goosebumps all over Harry's body. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer.

 

'I'll get you warm soon enough. Come on then,' Louis urged him.

 

'Just a little cuddle,' Harry whined. 'Please?' And who was Louis to say no to his beautiful boy who not only stole his heart but rescued his soul? Louis cuddled him to his heart's content until Harry was ready for their bath where Louis washed him and took care of his cute red bum.

 

Without you  
Life has no meaning or rhyme  
Like notes to a song out of time  
How can I repay you for having faith in me  
God bless you  
You make me feel brand new  
For God blessed me with you  
You make me feel brand new  
I sing this song 'cause you  
Make me feel brand new

 

Chapter 28 coming after I get back from London................


	28. How Love Makes The Strong Weak And The Weak Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again from me. Hope everyone is doing amazing. Many thanks for you reads, kudos and beautiful comments. I appreciate everything. Honestly.  
> Would like to point out, to those who are interested, that I will soon be uploading a new fic called "Reciting Shakespeare, a Vampire Harry/Human Louis fic. I have never written a supernatural Larry fic before so here's to first tries.  
> Hope you like the chapter.  
> All the love, M.

How Love Makes The Strong Weak And The Weak Strong.

 

 

In Harry's opinion, their week at Richmond passed in the blink of an eye and he was really sad to be leaving the peace of the beautiful estate and the warm presence of Louis' mum. He had grown very attached to the woman and she to him and Harry had found himself on various occasions very tempted to ask Louis if they could move here for good but he knew only to well that Louis' work required him to be in London, as did his studies, which reminded him that he currently had no university to go back to. The house in Richmond was a haven of peace and serenity and Harry could understand why Louis had chosen this location for his mother to reside at. Here, time seemed to standstill and move differently away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Here, worries and problems where hard to touch you. The next day after they had arrived, Louis had pried him away from his mother and had taken him on a tour of the whole estate.

 

If Harry had thought that Louis' house in London had been grand, it was nothing compared to the Richmond Estate. The house was a little bit smaller than the one in London had been but the grounds it was on, were immense. Louis took him through the gardens that were now devoid of flowers but Harry imagined that in the summer they would be full of colored flowers of all kinds.The trees were bare too but the sight was a beautiful one. Then Louis had taken him to the stables and Harry had gasped when he had seen the horses because damn Louis had a stable and he had horses! And Harry had fussed over the four beautiful creatures : a silver grey male Throughbred called Spirit, a black Freisian male called Noir which Louis explained was his "baby" even though the horse intimidated Harry because he was big and snorted a lot and he secretly wondered how Louis even got up on it because it was high, there was a white female Lippizan called Mystique who Harry found adorably sweet and Louis could tell that Mystique found him adorably sweet too because she kept nuzzling into Harry's chest and finally a male brown Mustang called Bullet because Louis told him that Bullet was fast and feisty. Harry couldn't keep the smile off his face as he petted the animals only to have Bullet snort and neigh loudly at him, making Harry step away. Louis had laughed and told him that Bullet was hard to befriend and that the secret to buying his friendship was to bring him apples. Harry made a mental note to bring Bullet some apples. Then Louis had wrapped his arm around his waist, kissed him behind the ear and told him to choose a horse for himself and Harry had gasped loudly, protesting furiously but Louis had only smiled and let him have his hissy fit. In the end, Louis had gotten his way and Harry had chosen Mystique which Louis hadn't been surprised about. The mare and Harry had taken to each other at first glance. Louis had gotten the stable lads to saddle their horses and he had taken Harry horse riding around his estate even though Harry had never ridden a horse before but he was thankful that Mystique was a kind, tame horse and had been very patient with him. Louis had told him that if it had been Bullet he would've have thrown him off. When they got back and dismounted their horses, Harry complained that between his legs hurt and Louis had taken him into an empty stable, laid him down on the straw and had made it all better for him.

 

The week had been relaxing and very family oriented. Harry had gotten to see a very different version of Louis. Louis the son was very affectionate and soft and devoting and Harry couldn't get enough of him or believe that he was the same Louis of before. That Louis was gone and here was a Louis who doted on his mother and Harry almost expected him to fall to his knees and worship her. Harry couldn't love him more. This new version of Louis rubbed off on Harry too because Louis had been extra soft and affectionate with him too. Harry loved that Louis always held him even while people were around. He was always touching him in someway, his hand, his waist, his shoulder, anywhere that he could reach. Louis just had to have his hands on him as if he was afraid that Harry would disappear. Harry loved that each evening that they had spent with his mother in the lounge, in front of the fireplace, chatting or watching the telly, Louis cuddled him, not ashamed that his mother was in the room. Here, Louis had no reserves and totally put his guard down and Harry loved this Louis even more than he thought was possible.

 

Harry had sat with Jay while Louis had been attending to work matters of organizing the charity gala. Jay had told him a lot about their past and little Louis, how he had been before his father had messed him up. Jay had told him that Louis had always been a happy boy, very smart and advanced for his age. Jay had spoken of Louis with so much love and fondness that Harry felt his heart swell and grow and he felt so damn lucky that this special man was his and loved him back with the same intensity that he loved him. Jay had cried when she had told Harry how her husband had broken her little boy and how she hated that she had been so defenseless to help him. Harry knew that the guilt of it weighed her down and he tired to relieve that for her as much as he could but she wouldn't have it. She told him she deserved every little bit of the guilt and pain that she lived with because she hadn't helped her little boy when he had needed her the most. Harry had comforted her the best he could and cried with her when memories of little Louis got too dark. She told him that despite all that he had been through,he remained kind and that he was just misunderstood. She told Harry that he had had skin grafting operations to cover up all the scars his father had left on him, all the belt welts that had littered his skin and it was too much for Harry and he had cried as Jay comforted him and told him how sorry she was that Louis had done to him what his father had made him suffer for years and had kissed him and hugged him to her, thanking him for forgiving him and giving him a chance at love.

 

She went on to tell Harry her shame about still being married to that monster and Harry couldn't hide his shock at her revelation. Jay had looked down shamefully and told him that there had been no time for an actual divorce to take place, seeing she had been paralyzed and had no money or assistance. She had lost everything: her house, her kids, her job. She had depended on the careers at the home she had been thrown into to take care of her as she couldn't move. She didn't know what had become of her kids. All she had known was that Louis had been taken to juvie and that her husband was in prison. She confided in Harry that she had been begging Louis to see to it, to get her a divorce but Louis, even though he wanted that monster out of their lives for good, had told Jay that he didn't want to stir up anything with him. He didn't want to confront him. Didn't want any connection with him what so ever, not even through lawyers. Jay had told Harry that the reason Louis didn't want to do this was because he was afraid. He was still terrorized of his father. The mere thought of even his lawyer getting in touch with the man terrorized Louis and Jay knew that. She knew that her husband would try to put his claws back into Louis and drag him back and she knew that Louis wasn't strong enough because he was still scared of him but she desperately wanted a divorce. Harry had squeezed her hand tightly and promised her to talk to Louis about it.

 

During the week in Richmond, Harry felt himself becoming even more attached to Louis, understanding him far more better and seeing sides to him that he doubted hardly anyone had ever gotten to see. And Louis was becoming hopelessly devoted to him. Louis had taken him around Richmond, showing him the town. He had taken him to the museums and galleries. He had taken him to see the castle, to restaurants, to a wine bar and to the theater to watch Romeo and Juliet. Louis wasn't a big fan of Shakespeare but Harry was and who was he to deny taking Harry to watch the play? Louis had just sat back and watched a mesmerized Harry follow the play with wide eyes and bathed breath, whispering lines to himself along with the actors and weeping silently when Juliet killed herself over her beloved. That night, Louis had made sweet love to his boy, whispering sweet nothings to him as he came undone beneath him, Louis never tiring of seeing Harry's orgasm face, the way his body trembled and shook with the force of it or the way his body became pliant as he rode out his orgasm, giving himself over and completely to Louis.

 

Harry had been blown away on the night of the Charity Gala Ball that Louis and his mother organized on New Year's Eve. It was a black tie affair and Louis had black YSL tuxedos brought for himself and Harry. When Harry had seen Louis wearing the black suit and black bow tie, satin sash around his waist, he fell harder in love with his man and wanted to get him naked and into bed. Johanna had look stunning in a black Dolce and Gabbana gown that Louis had ordered for her and had fitters come in to see that the gown fit her perfectly. They had a limo pick them up and "Minerva" had accompanied Johanna, dressed in a long black dress which furthermore reminded Harry of Minerva. Everyone who was important or high class society had been there and Louis had been the center of their attention. He had been his charming self and had introduced Harry to everyone proudly as his boyfriend, showing him off to everyone and Harry couldn't have been any happier and more in love than he was. Louis had been gallant all night and had held his hand, not letting him go for an instant unless it was absolutely necessary to shake someone's hand or get them drinks. Harry had felt so special and it felt as if he and Louis had now become even more official than they already were. They had entered each other's personal lives : Louis had come to Holmes Chapel to his home and family and had met all the people that were important in Harry's life and who had been there all throughout his childhood years and here he was with Louis and his mother. In Harry's head, now their relationship was truly legit and they had taken it to the next level.

 

But their week was now over and Louis was waiting for him by the Range Rover as Harry was saying goodbye to Johanna. Johanna was reluctant to let him go. Harry kissed her hands as he held them tightly in his own.

 

'I promise we will come down much more often. I will bring him sooner yeah,' Harry promised her. Johanna blinked and the tears rolled out of her eyes.

 

'Its becoming harder to watch him go and now that I have met you, its even more harder to see you both go,' she told him in a choked voice. Harry squatted in front of her wheelchair and looked up into her blue eyes so much like her son's. He kept holding her hands.

 

'Trust me, I don't want to leave here either. If I could, I would persuade him to move here but his job requires him in London and my studies also. Wouldn't you consider coming to London and live with us Jay?' Harry asked her hopefully but she was already shaking her head.

 

'I don't like the city and being in a wheelchair doesn't help. Maybe if I walk again....'

 

'WHEN you walk again,' Harry corrected her. 'Louis is convinced that this operation will be the one that will make you walk again.' Johanna sighed heavily.

 

'I don't know Harry. He's setting himself up for disappointment. The doctors all said that my lower spine is gravelly damaged so I doubt I will ever walk again but he has high hopes.'

 

'And so should you Jay. Louis only gets the best for you and that surgeon he met at the Gala, well he's fairly certain he can get you to walk so please don't give up yeah.' Jay smiled at him and cupped his cold cheek in her hand.

 

'You are a blessing to him. You are just what he needed to be fixed and I can never ever thank you enough Harry for bringing my beautiful boy back to life.' The horn of the Range Rover blasted, making Harry jump. He looked over his shoulder and waved at Louis who was beside the driver's door smoking a cigarette. Harry smiled at him.

 

'Such an impatient little shit,' Harry told Jay fondly and she chuckled.

 

'Go, but please stay in touch alright.' Harry stood up, his knees creaking loudly. He bent down and kissed Johanna on the forehead.

 

'We will. I'll let you know about our house hunting. Hopefully we'll find one soon and get settled. Then you're coming down for a visit and I won't accept a no alright.' Johanna smiled at him.

 

'Alright. No go before he honks his horn at you again.' Harry let her go reluctantly and walked towards the car.

 

'I hate leaving her,' Harry muttered. Louis flicked his cigarette and stubbed it out with the toe of his shoes.

 

'So do I baby but we'll come down again soon. We have so much to do down in London. Come on let's go. We have to meet Leonard in Chelsea so he can take us to the townhouse he rented for us for the time being until we find our perfect home.' Louis kissed Harry's lips who smiled into it, waved to his mum and got in the car, starting the engine. As soon as Harry was buckled in, he turned the car around and headed towards the gate. Harry watched Jay becoming smaller in his side rear view mirror as she waved them goodbye and found himself already longing for the comfort of the woman but he was also happy to be starting this new chapter with Louis now. They were about to get their new home together and Harry was excited to start looking at potential houses. Louis had told him that he was happy with whatever house Harry chose in whatever area in London and Harry had joked that they should find a small bohemian flat in Camden Town and Louis had squared him with a look and one sentence : I think the fuck not! After which Louis had tackled him to the mattress and kissed him till he was panting.

 

'Harry,' Louis' voice brought Harry back out of his thoughts. He turned to look at Louis who gave him a quick worried glance. 'Are you alright? You're awfully quiet. What's the matter?' Harry smiled at him.

 

'Nothing is the matter. Was just thinking,' Harry told him softly.

 

'About?' Louis asked. Harry sighed.

 

'Just how I wish we could live down here and be close to your mum,' Harry said quietly. Louis smiled and reached over the console to take his hand.

 

'Harry,' he said softly, 'I honestly wish we could too but you know its impossible.' Harry squeezed his hand, his gaze out of the window as he watched the scenery flash by.

 

'I know,' he said his voice low. 'I already miss it. The house, your mum, you.'

 

'I'm here baby with you,' Louis told him. This time Harry tore his gaze away from the window and turned to look at Louis' profile.

 

'I don't want to lose this Louis,' he said, his voice low. Louis furrowed his eyebrows.

 

'What do you mean? You're not losing me.' Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'You have been so different Lou. I have seen the real you over the past few weeks and I don't want to lose this peaceful, relaxed Louis to the stressed out angry Louis that's always working and pushes himself to limits that break him.' Louis squeezed his hand tighter.

 

'You won't Harry I promise you. That part of me is gone. Yes, I might have to work long hours and yeah sure it will stress me out and I might flip my shit every now and then but baby you got me. This is all me and I'm yours. It won't be like before I promise you. Its just you and me now. Its just Us Harry in our home. We're going to be just like any other normal couple baby with our ups and downs and arguments and fights but I swear to you, it will be different. I won't push you away now. I promise to share it all with you and talk whatever it will be over with you. Alright? And the same goes for you. I'm here for you for whatever it is. We are one now. You and me. A team.' Harry lifted their joined hands and kissed Louis' knuckles.

 

'I like that. You and Me. Us. A team. I can do that. Just please remember I'm here for you for whatever it is you go through. No shutting me out.' Louis gave him a smile.

 

'I promise.'

 

The drive to London was a relative quiet one. Harry and Byron both slept for most of the ride and soon Louis was shaking Harry awake as he navigated the London afternoon traffic on the way to Chelsea. Louis called Leonard and told him to text him the address of the town house. When he received the address he punched it into his navigator and they set off again. Louis drove through Sloane Square then made a turn off King's Road into Royal Avenue, a beautiful quiet tree lined road with luxurious Victorian town houses. Louis parked in front of number four. Harry looked out the car window with sleepy eyes at the impressive early Victorian white stucco fronted, three floors house.

 

'Wow,' he whispered. Louis killed the engine just as the front door flew open and Leonard looking immaculate in a brown suit and purple shirt stepped out to greet them. Both Harry and Louis got out of the car, Harry opening the back door to let Byron out to stretch his legs. Byron immediately yapped and lunged towards Leonard.

 

'Sir,' Leonard greeted Louis, eyeing the puppy that stood on its hind legs with his front paws against his suit pants leg.

 

'Hello Leonard,' Louis said with a smile. He bent down and picked up Byron. 'Meet Byron,' he told him and Leonard gave him a confused smile but patted the eager little dog who licked his fingers. Leonard pulled them away and took out his handkerchief to wipe the dog saliva off them.

 

'Sir I do hope that this house is to your expectations. It was the one I could find on such short notice.' Louis looked up at the impressive house.

 

'I think it will do. What do you think Harry?' Harry looked up at the house with its black door, huge windows and black wrought iron décor.

 

'It's big,' he said softly. Louis smiled and put his hand on his lower back guiding him forward towards the house.

 

'Sir the house offers five bedrooms and four bathrooms. It has flexible and spacious accommodations. It also has a south west facing terrace and a roof terrace garden between the ground and the first floor. There's a grand first floor sitting room as well as a smaller one on the first floor which can be used as your work space. Is it to your satisfaction Sir?' Leonard asked him as Harry and Louis walked from room to room, Harry marveling at the grand interior decorating of the house, making a mental note to make sure that Byron didn't pee all over the expensive antique carpets and furniture.

 

'Do you like it Harry?' Louis asked him. Harry looked at him with big eyes.

 

'Don't you think its too big for us? Five bedrooms? Seriously? I mean what about the flat in Camden Town? Small kitchen with plastic chairs and a formica table, one bedroom, one bathroom with a shower curtain with duck motifs, beaded curtains and cactus in the window sills?' Louis threw his head back and laughed, hugging Harry to him with one arm.

 

'Oh baby I wish I could say yes to that. Sounds really good but I can't live like that. I can get you an apartment there if you wish and we can run away and hide there when things get tough, under the frayed colorful blankets of our tiny bed and make love all day long while listening to Stevie Nicks,' Louis told him nuzzling his neck, his stubble rubbing Harry's skin and his hot breath all over him making Harry's skin tingle. Harry closed his eyes and moaned softly. A cough from Leonard brought them apart much to Louis' annoyance.

 

'We'll take it,' Louis told him. 'Have Judy and the maids move in. There is room for them isn't there?' Leonard nodded.

 

'The lower ground of the house is used as a separate apartment for the help Sir,' Leonard informed him.

 

'Wonderful,' Louis concluded. 'Please see that our things are moved in presumably today. I need to get back into my routine as soon as possible. Also please contact Anthony and set up an appointment for Harry and myself together. The sooner the better.'

 

'Yes Sir right away,' Leonard said as he hurried out of the room, punching numbers into his phone as he went. Louis flopped down on one of the Venetian couches in the room.

 

'So do you like our temporary home?' Louis asked him as he patted the seat beside him, indicating for Harry to sit down next to him. Harry sat, still holding Byron who was squirming in his arms.

 

'Harry, let the dog go. He wants to run around and inspect his new home.' Harry gave him a horrified look.

 

'Louis he will pee on the carpets or furniture. Everything is so...so expensive!' And Louis just had to laugh again.

 

'Harry its quite alright. If he pees we'll get it dry cleaned. Besides I'm getting him a trainer so he will learn to do his business outside.' Harry eyed him.

 

'How much are you paying for this house Lou?' Louis smiled as he played with the small curls at the nape of Harry's neck that were slowly growing back.

 

'Harry its just money don't worry about it. Even when I'm not working I'm making money so there's plenty of it. Money should never be an issue alright. Talking of which, we need to get Leonard to contact the Gucci people for you and we need to talk about you going back to University, assuming you do want to go back? Or maybe do you prefer home tutoring?' Harry chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully.

 

'I um would like to go back to my old university but I don't know if I'm allowed back since well, I just up and left like that. I'm pretty sure I disappointed the Dean. And....' Harry paused and looked up at Louis uncertainly. Louis nudged him softly.

 

'And what?' Harry looked down again.

 

'The um gossip about me. I was um in the newspaper,' he said quietly, feeling his cheeks burn up. Louis turned in his seat towards Harry. He placed his finger under his chin and tilted his head up until his eyes met his own.

 

'Listen to me Harry. You have many many possibilities in front of you. Anything you chose to do, I can help you with it. If you chose another University, you will get into it. If you want to go back to your old University, I will get you back in there. If you want to be tutored at home, I can do that too but you cannot base your decisions on fear or what people might say. They don't know you! They don't know your story. Our story. They only know the gossip and the trash that was published. Yes you gave an interview to The Sun but by now everyone knows that all The Sun publishes is trash so people take it with a pinch of salt. What they don't know is that you are a gallant hero. You are my fucking hero because you stood up for me when I didn't deserve it and you saved me from serious jail time. People will believe what they want to believe and even if we told the whole truth of the situation, they would probably twist it to their own sick way of thinking. Even if you are a Saint, people will still try to find faults to tear you down. So, your only main focus should be what you want regardless of what anyone thinks of you or says about you. Yes, you declared to the world that you have a fetish. Who doesn't Harry? Some are brave to come out with it and some keep it hidden for fear of being judged or misunderstood. You are brave. You are my champion so the world is at your feet. You are above them Harry, way up above them and you will conquer. I will be beside you every step of the way so tell me Harry, what do you want?' Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'I want to go back to my old University. Reunite with my old friends. Pick up my courses again. I want to graduate, become a writer and a professional photographer. I want to take up History and I want to model for Gucci,' Harry told him in one go, his eyes shining. Louis leaned down and kissed him gently.

 

'Then you shall have it all. Tomorrow I will call the Dean and make sure you get back in. Leonard will contact Gucci. In the meantime, can you do something for me?' Harry nodded.

 

'Anything,' he told him. Louis pecked his lips.

 

'Call your friends. Mend that bridge between you. Invite them over. Do whatever you have to do to fix it with them Harry. After all, they were only looking out for you and protecting you from me which is noble and a sign of true friendship. Don't let them go.' Harry looked at him in awe because this man never seemed to stop surprising him. His kindness and good heart were limitless and after all his sufferings and the hard life he had led as a child and teenager, all the pain and loneliness hadn't managed to turn him into a bitter hateful man. Yes, people saw him as a strict, controlling man who took no shit from anyone, a ruthless man who lived to dominate and had no scruples but Harry was lucky enough to see the man beneath all that and he felt sorry for all the people who didn't get to know this Louis and where missing out on so much but also he felt proud that he was the only one who got to see the sensitive, kind and soft Louis. Harry leaned over and kissed his lips.

 

'Have I told you how much I am in love with you?' Louis smiled against his lips.

 

'You might have mentioned it one or twice,' he mumbled against Harry's plump soft lips. Harry pecked his lips lovingly.

 

'Make that three times. Louis Tomlinson I am decisively, assuredly, without the shadow of a doubt, insensibly in love with you.' Louis chuckled.

 

'As am I,' he whispered before pulling in Harry for a deeper, longer passionate kiss.

 

 

X

 

 

A week later, Louis and Harry were settled in their new temporary house on Royal Avenue in Chelsea with their staff and Byron. Louis had managed to get Harry back into the University after long talks with the Dean and a settlement of a hefty and generous donation to the University but as long as Harry was happy, that was all that mattered to Louis.

 

Louis had gone back to work and he was working later than usual due to the merger with the offshore company that Louis was trying to get on board with his company to kick off his gaming investment. However, these assholes were making it very difficult for Louis and Louis, being the persistent and controlling being that he was, just wouldn't it let go. He wanted this on his terms and conditions. He was determined to get it at all costs with no further negotiations but it was going nowhere. It was stressing him out and making him a nervous wreck.

 

Harry came down to breakfast a little after eight in the morning, padding into the brightly lit kitchen in his pajama bottoms, t-shirt and socks, yawning and stretching as he pulled out a chair and sat opposite Louis at the kitchen table.

 

'Good morning,' Harry rasped out. 'You're up early.' Louis looked at him over the rim of his coffee cup.

 

'Good morning. I have to be at the office in ten minutes.' Harry frowned at him.

 

'You came in after midnight last night. Its just after eight in the morning Lou,' Harry complained. 'I'm hardly seeing you at all.' Louis put the coffee cup down.

 

'I know Harry but there's not much I can do about it. This merger is important and I'm depending on it.'

 

'I miss you,' Harry said quietly because for the past week, they had hardly had any time together. They hadn't even made love once which was unusual.

 

'I miss you too,' Louis told him, his voice a little stern, 'but you need to understand that I need this and I have to work hard to get it.' Harry looked down.

 

'I know. I'm sorry.' Louis huffed because he didn't want his stress to make him take it out on Harry.

 

'Look, tonight at seven we have an appointment with Anthony so how about after we go for dinner yeah? Spend some time together.' Harry looked at him and gave him a small smile.

 

'Sure. That would be lovely.' Louis got up and walked over to him and handed him the keys to the Range Rover.

 

'Angus can't drive you today or pick you up. I need him with me as I have meetings outside my office and I need him on call at all times. Take the Range Rover.' Harry looked up at Louis.

 

'I can take the tube like I did before,' Harry protested. Louis huffed.

 

'Can you please just do this for me without fighting me? Take the damn car and drive yourself to Uni. I would feel much better knowing you have the car than you using the tube.' Harry scowled at him.

 

'What's wrong with the tube? Its safe enough!'

 

'Jesus fucking Christ Harry take the damn keys and drive yourself,' Louis snapped at him, slamming down the keys on the table top. Then he realized that he had yelled at Harry. 'Please love?' he told him in a softer tone. Harry bit his lower lip and tried not to let Louis' attitude get to him.

 

'Alright,' he said quietly. Louis bent down and kissed the top of his head while stroking his hair.

 

'I love you. Have a good day and I'll see you here at seven. Angus will drive us to Anthony's.' Harry nodded. Louis huffed because he knew that he had no reason to snap at Harry and that Harry got upset when he did. Louis cupped his cheek and turned his face up towards him.

 

'Hey, I love you and I miss you. I will soon get this done and then I'm all yours. Just please be a little patient with me yeah,' Louis told him in a pleading voice. Harry took hold of his hand and kissed his palm.

 

'Of course. I love you too. Have a good day and I'll see you tonight.' Louis gave him a smile, placed a kiss on his forehead and left, closing the door non too gently behind him. Harry sat in silence in the kitchen until Judy came in with a cup of tea.

 

'Good morning dear. Did you sleep well?' Harry nodded and thanked her for the tea. Judy assessed his sour expression. 'Are you alright?' Judy asked him. Harry nodded again and took a sip of his tea. Judy sighed and smiled knowingly to herself as she lowered herself in the chair that Louis had just vacated.

 

'Louis is a very hard worker you know and when he sets his mind on something that he wants, his determination and drive to achieve it drives him to certain extremes.' Judy paused and watched Harry carefully as he sat quietly sipping his tea.

 

'Harry sweetheart, he is not neglecting you,' she told him softly because she knew how sensitive Harry was. Harry's head snapped up and he opened his mouth to speak but Judy held her hand up indicating that she wasn't quite finished. Harry bit back his words.

 

'I know you don't think that but I know that you feel like it because it shows all over your face. Harry, you have to understand that Louis has always been by himself and he's never had to make any compromises when it came to his work or his life. He never had to adjust his needs according to anyone else. He always catered for himself. It has always been just him and he drove himself single minded towards his goals without sparing a thought for anyone else. He has never had to juggle his life and his work according to the love of his life. He never had anything besides his work Harry. He has to do this job and Lord knows I've seen him stressed out about work before and trust me when I tell you that he can be a nightmare to live with when he has something he needs to do and its going wrong. Prepare yourself for a lot of tantrums and cursing, sulking, yelling and door slamming but that's Louis.' Judy smiled, fawning over memories of Louis throwing tantrums like a fond mother over her child.

 

'This is all new to him Harry. YOU are new to him. Louis wants to give you time and he needs his time with you but he's still learning to juggle it. He's still learning that he's no longer alone, that there's you too think about too. But remember, that at the end of the day, it will be you he will seek for comfort. It is you that he will find his rest in and it will be you that will take him away from it all and give him his peace. You are his haven and keep in mind that he will never neglect you or choose you over his work. As much as he loves his work, he loves you more.' Judy reached across the table and placed her hand over his.

 

'A word of advice my darling. Don't ever put down a choice before him. Don't ever make him choose between you or his work even in a moment of frustrated anger. Work is what Louis knows and you are a novelty. He has an empire to run Harry. He's an intelligent man and if you ever put that choice down to him, he will choose you because you come before anything and everything and his work will suffer. All that he single handed built with his own two hands will suffer but he won't care as long as he keeps you happy. He loves you Harry don't ever doubt that. Be supportive of your man and stand by him because that's what will keep you together. He might be a force of nature not to be reckoned with but you are what can tame that force. You tame him Harry. I have never seen anyone do it before but you somehow do it and he lets you. You know that saying "behind every great man there's a greater woman"? Well, behind Louis, there's you my dear.'

 

Harry felt his cheeks burn at the thought that Judy had realized he had indeed been feeling as if Louis was neglecting him. He looked at Judy from beneath his lowered lashes.

 

'How do you know so much and notice it?' he asked her shyly. Judy laughed softly.

 

'Well dear, being married to my beloved husband God rest his soul for over thirty years has it's perks. It teaches you how to compromise and how to be there for the person that you love even though sometimes it gets very difficult. He was a very determined man, a hard worker much like your Louis. Before he became Louis' gardener when he retired, he was a pilot for the Royal Air Force, so yes I've had to compromise a lot during those years but it was worth it and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. And having been in Louis' employment for this long, my husband and him became thick as thieves. Louis adored him. He used to spend a lot of time talking with him and my husband adored him back. So yes I do know about hard workers and feeling neglected but I want you to know that you are not neglected even though you might feel like you are. Now, how about breakfast? You don't want to be late for your classes.'

 

Harry nodded at her and sat there thinking as he waited for his breakfast. He hated that he felt needy and clingy and always wanted Louis for himself. He hated that he whined to Louis about it when Louis was just doing his job and he hated himself that he was acting like a sulking child and being selfish. He failed to see that Louis was struggling with this and he felt bad that he was putting extra pressure on him by demanding his time and attention.

 

Harry knew the reason for it though. These past few weeks, the tables had turned. Louis had come undone and Harry had spent time putting him back together and caring for him and they had been together inseparable. Louis had demanded his attention, had need him and clung to him and Harry missed that closeness that they had shared. Now they were back in London and London was harsh on them. It took Louis away from him, it made him into a different person. Harry only wanted for them to be together.

 

He quickly ate his breakfast, then went up to their room and showered. When he was done, he got dressed in his Burberry skinny jeans, a Tom Ford shirt, his boots and shrugged on his brown Saint Laurent Sherling coat. He quickly ruffled his curls out, grabbed his back pack and keys and exited the house. The Range Rover was parked in front of the house. He took in a deep breath and without further thought, got in the car, strapped his seat belt on, started the ignition and pulled out on to the road, heading to the University. He stopped at a red light and turned on the radio. Nick was on doing the breakfast show and Harry's heart ached for his lost friend. They hadn't spoken for so long and he realized that he missed him. The lights turned to green and Harry made a left turn. Soon he was at the University and he realized that he didn't know where the student parking lot was. He looked around and spotted a sign with an arrow that pointed to the parking place.

 

When Harry parked, he pulled out his phone and composed a message for Louis.

 

[From Harry:]

Arrived at Uni now. Thank you for giving me the car. I love you. Please take it easy and don't stress. See you at 7 xxx <3

 

He hit send and waited for a while but no message came in. He sighed, grabbed his back pack and got out of the car making sure to lock it. He headed to Starbucks to meet his friends. Things between them had gone back to normal as if they had never fallen out and for that, Harry couldn't be happier. Niall had gotten his job back at Louis' company and he was working hard along with Shawn and Louis on this merger that Louis desperately wanted and which Harry did not quite understand because the man had built a whole empire by himself, from the ground up with nothing so why was he so worried to launch his new gaming industry? He had good people working for him : technicians and engineers and Niall firing ideas left and right so Harry really didn't get the gist of why Louis needed a subsidary company to aid him into launching his new gaming industry. But then again Harry reckoned that he knew nothing about the business so he let it go, refraining from mentioning anything to Louis about it. 

 

 

X

 

 

Thankfully for Harry, the day passed relatively quickly and he was glad when lectures were over. He was finding this year a little bit more harder to juggle but he knew that it was likely to happen. He had joined the second year in the middle of the second term so basically he had lost the first term which he had to make up for with extra lectures and work. He had to catch up with the topics and assignments from the first term as well as keep up with all the work from the second term and it wasn't an easy feat. Harry knew that he was struggling and the struggles would only increase and get worse but he had to do this. He had to work extra hard to graduate. He reckoned that if things got out of hand, he could always ask Louis for a tutor.

 

He hurriedly made his way to the parking lot, wanting to get home as quickly as he could so that he could get some work done before Louis picked him up at seven. As he neared the Range Rover he stopped in his tracks when he saw that the side rear view mirror on the driver's side had been smashed and it had been wrenched from its place and now it hung limp and loose by the side of the driver's door, hanging on by just some strips of wire. Harry's heart lurched painfully in his chest as it thudded fast and hard against his sternum. How had this happened? It was impossible that another car had accidentally hit it and broke it! This was a parking lot not the motorway so there was no way that could have happened.

 

Harry refused against his better judgement to think that it had been done on purpose. Ever since he had resumed his place back at the University, fellow students hadn't been exactly treating him with kindness. He had seen the sneers and the disgust on their faces, he had heard the whispers, the gossip and the muted insults and he had had the odd student bump into him rather forcefully, forceful enough to send him sprawling to the ground on his ass amidst snickers and giggles. But he strictly refused to believe that he was being bullied. He chose to ignore it which was why for the past week that he had been back to Uni, he didn't mention anything to Louis about it. Louis had enough on his plate already without him being a little cry baby and causing drama where there was none. And thus, he refused to believe that someone had actually broken the car's mirror on purpose.

 

With shaky hands, Harry fished out his phone. Louis was going to be so mad at him and the thought alone send ripples of fear through Harry. He tapped on Louis' number with trembling fingers and waited, listening to the dial tone as he chewed on the skin around his thumb. After the third ring, his call went to voice mail. Harry hung up without leaving a message and commenced to punch in the landline number for TGE then Lynn's extension number. Lynn picked up on the second ring.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson's office this is Lynn speaking. How may I help you?' Lynn said professionally into the phone.

 

'Hi Lynn, its Harry,' Harry said softly into the phone.

 

'Oh hello Harry. How are you? What can I do for you?'

 

'I'm alright Lynn thank you. I was um wondering if you um could put me through to Louis. He is not picking up his phone and I need to speak with him urgently,' Harry said. He heard Lynn sigh.

 

'I'm sorry Harry but he's in a very important meeting at the moment and he strictly asked not to be disturbed. Can I perhaps take a message for him?'

 

'Um could you please tell him to call me as soon as he's free? Its really urgent and I need to talk to him.'

 

'Sure Harry. I'll tell him as soon as he's done,' Lynn promised him.

 

'Thank you Lynn,' Harry told her and hung up. He stood there in the parking lot feeling lost and worried, staring at the vandalized mirror. He had a decision here to make. Either drive the car with the broken mirror and risk being pulled over and given a ticket, which would make Louis even madder at him. He could take the tube against Louis' wishes and make him even more mad. Or he could call Leonard for help.

 

X

 

Fifteen minutes later, Leonard was standing beside him inspecting the broken mirror with a thoughtful and concerned look.

 

'Harry are you sure this wasn't simply snapped off because it sure does look like someone smashed the mirror than just snapped it off. I mean, if you hit something like you said you did, wouldn't it have snapped the other way round?' Leonard asked him. Harry shifted from one foot to the other nervously.

 

'Yeah I'm sure. Of course I'm sure. I was um trying to get into a smaller space and there was an um pole and I accidentally hit the mirror against it cos the um space was too small for the Rover so I um pulled out and the mirror twisted the other way,' Harry told him, looking down and chewing his bottom lip. He hated lying. He was a bad liar and he was pretty sure that Leonard saw right through his lie but he couldn't let Louis know about his suspicions.

 

Leonard looked at him doubtfully, clearly not believing Harry's story but choosing to go with it because if the boss's boyfriend was lying then he must have a perfectly good reason to and who was he to call him out on it? Leonard took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'Right. Of course. I will call a tow truck and call Mr. Tomlinson to...'

 

'I already called him,' Harry was quick to cut him off. Leonard gave him a suspicious look so Harry felt the need to clarify for his benefit. 'He's um in a meeting. I left him a message with Lynn and he will call me as soon as he is free.' Leonard nodded.

 

'Alright then. I'll just call the tow truck then and have them tow the Rover to the shop. Let's get you home.'

 

Harry got in Leonard's car, wanting to hide from Leonard's "I-didn't-believe-a-fucking-word-you-just-said" look! He sat in the passenger seat while Leonard called the tow truck. As he sat and fidgeted nervously with the seat belt, his phone rang making him jump. Louis' face smiled up at him from his ringing phone. Harry swallowed thickly, dread pooling in the bottom of his stomach before he swiped the phone and answered.

 

'Louis hey,' he said trying to make his voice steady but failing miserably.

 

'What's up Harry? Lynn just gave me your message. What's so urgent?' Louis asked him. Harry tried to detect Louis' mood from the tone of his voice. Louis sounded annoyed and stressed. He was about to chicken out and let Leonard tell him that he had trashed his car but he knew that it was his responsibility to tell him. Harry gulped.

 

'I um....I...Louis please don't be mad at me,' Harry blurted out desperately.

 

'Harry what is it?' Louis asked him, his voice now anxious. Harry ran a hand through his curls, tugging on them in frustration.

 

'I um had a little accident....'

 

'Oh my God!' Louis cut him off drastically. 'Harry are you alright? Are you hurt? Where are you baby?' Louis asked him frantically and Harry wanted to cry.

 

'Lou I'm alright. I'm not hurt. I'm fine but...but the car isn't! I broke the side view mirror. I am so so sorry Lou. I'm sorry for being so careless,' Harry told him, his voice almost hysterical and on the verge of tears. For a minute Louis was silent and Harry braced himself to be yelled at.

 

'You broke the side mirror,' Louis stated calmly. Harry bit his bottom lip hard because Louis was going to yell.

 

'Yes and I'm so very sorry Lou. I called Leonard right away. I didn't drive it and risk getting pulled over and I didn't take the tube just like you asked me to. I just....I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to.....'

 

'Harry Harry stop,' Louis told him softly when he heard his voice choke up. 'Its alright love. You're not hurt and that's all that matters not the fucking mirror. It will be fixed.' Harry gulped and took in a deep breath, exhaling in relief that Louis was taking this really calmly.

 

'You're not mad at me?' he asked him.

 

'No baby why should I be mad at you? It's only a mirror and accidents happen. I'm just glad that you're alright. I'll get Leonard to get you another car for tomorrow.' Harry felt panic rise inside him.

 

'No Lou. Let me take the tube please. I don't want to drive,' Harry begged him. He heard Louis sigh.

 

'Harry this is not up for discussion. You will take another car tomorrow,' Louis told him, his voice commanding.

 

'Louis I....'

 

'Harry enough. Can you please for once stop going up against me? I have to go now. I have another meeting waiting for me. Be ready at seven. I love you.'

 

'I love you,' Harry mumbled into the phone like a sulking child. The line went dead. Louis was gone and Harry knew better than to contradict him. If Louis wanted him to have another car, then he was going to have another car whether he wanted it or not. He understood that Louis only wanted to give him a comfortable life but he was afraid someone might damage this car too. There were only so many excuses he could make.

 

 

X

 

 

By quarter to seven, Harry was sitting in the living room, waiting impatiently for Louis. The day had been nerve wrecking, heck the whole week had been stressful and now he felt the need to be with Louis. Louis had the evening off and Harry just wanted to be with him. They both needed it.

 

So many things were going through his head like how the broken car mirror wasn't an accident at all and he was lying about it to Louis. He knew that Leonard didn't believe him and would probably voice his opinion to his boss and Harry knew with certainty that Louis would see through his lies. Louis always did. He knew Harry too well. He was nervous about the fact that Louis wanted to give him another car and Harry didn't want it in case....

 

'Harry, Mr. Tomlinson has arrived. He is waiting for you in the car,' Leonard informed him, interrupting his thoughts. Harry got up on shaky legs. Butterflies attacking his stomach.

 

You are still afraid of him.

 

Now was not the time for his subconscious to pipe up his opinions. Yes, Harry reckoned, he was afraid of Louis but not for those reasons. He was afraid because he was lying, he was hiding something from him and he knew Louis would find out one way or another but then again maybe he wouldn't. Maybe the broken mirror was indeed an accident and he was being paranoid about the whole thing just because some students were being idiots and calling him names. He had to stop being so sensitive! He shut his subconscious off and headed outside to the waiting car, where Angus was holding the door open for him.

 

'Good evening Angus,' Harry told him with a smile as he slipped inside next to Louis.

 

'Good evening Harry,' Angus told him, closed the car door for him and got inside the car. Once in the car, Harry noticed that the glass partition between them and Angus was up which was weird. It was never up.

 

'Hey baby,' Louis greeted him as he leaned over and pressed his lips to his in a gentle kiss. 'Are you alright?' Harry's guilt attacked him. Louis was so good to him.

 

Tell him! Tell him now!

 

Harry smiled against Louis' lips. 'Yes I'm fine Lou. I'm so sorry about the car,' Harry whispered. Louis looked at him. Looked deep into his eyes till Harry squirmed under his searching gaze.

 

'It's just a car Harry,' Louis told him in a perfectly calm tone that to Harry sounded just like the storm before the calm. 'Leonard called me to tell me that the Rover was already in the shop and it will be ready tomorrow evening.'

 

Of course Leonard would call him and tell him his suspicions!

 

Harry nodded and swallowed thickly. Louis kept his steely gaze on him and Harry felt as if he was pinning him down with that look. He shifted uncomfortably on the seat and looked down yet he could still feel Louis' gaze burn into him.

 

'Leonard thinks that the mirror was snapped on purpose,' Louis told him, still in his calm voice, his eyes never leaving Harry. Harry squirmed. 'Harry, is there something you're not telling me?' Louis asked him and this time, his voice was demanding, dominating and pressing.

 

And Harry felt it, Louis' dominance over him through his commanding voice, making him want to submit to him and spill the whole truth to him but Harry fought against it. He couldn't tell him. He shook his head slowly.

 

'No,' he whispered.

 

'Harry,' Louis said, his voice holding a warning and Harry really wanted to tell him but he was a coward and afraid so he remained silent, twisting his fingers nervously. Louis sighed and placed a tender kiss on his temple.

 

'Alright. I trust you. Just know that you can always tell me anything. We're a team remember?' Harry nodded but said nothing. 'Also remember that I don't appreciate being lied to so think about it really hard before you lie to me Harry but like I said, I trust you.'

 

And Harry knew that Louis knew that he was lying yet he still gave him the benefit of the doubt and Harry felt wretched about it yet he remained silent, not trusting himself to speak due to the lump in his throat. Louis was not blind to his struggles. He reached over and placed his hand on Harry's thigh, his finger teasingly playing with the inseam of his jeans. He dragged his finger slowly up the inside of Harry's thigh and watched him part his lips and take in a deep shuddering breath. He hadn't touched him in a week and he knew it was his fault what with work and late nights at the office so he wanted to make it up to him.

 

'You know,' Louis told him in a husky voice as he scooted closer to Harry. 'I was thinking that maybe after dinner tonight we could go home and perhaps play a little. We haven't had any intimate time lately and I know its solely my fault because I have been working so late and I want to make it up to you. I don't want you to feel in anyway as if I am neglecting you.' Harry's breath hitched at Louis' seductive voice and his warm breath that was hitting the side of his face and neck. Louis moved his hand further up, dangerously close to his crotch.

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry breathed out. He actually wanted to scream oh God yes please but when Louis wanted to play, he knew what that entitled of him. Louis continued to run his finger up and down Harry's inner thigh.

 

'There's something new I want to try with you,' he told him softly. 'I wish to deprive you of your sense of sight and sound. I want to restrain you and I want you to give me full control of your body.' Harry bit down on his bottom lip hard and squeezed his thighs together, trapping Louis' hand between them but Louis pushed them open again. 'Never close your legs to me,' Louis warned him. Harry chanced to look up at him and found his blue eyes burning into him with lust and desire.

 

'Am...am I being p-punished?' Harry asked him. Louis' pinkie finger brushed on purpose against Harry's cock making him jump a little.

 

'Is there something you think you should be punished for hmm?' Louis asked him, his voice honey sweet yet that with a tinge of warning underneath. Louis leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the side of Harry's neck, letting his tongue trailing over his hot skin. Harry gasped.

 

'N-no no Sir,' he panted because Louis was turning him on and he was gagging for it.

 

'Good,' Louis said. 'I want to pleasure you and I want you to pleasure me back by being an obedient sub. Can you do that for me Harry?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry was quick to reply. He wanted all that Louis was willing to give him.

 

'I expect you to be submissive at all times during our play time but know that you can stop me anytime you desire. If what I have in store for you gets too much, you can stop me. Do you understand?'

 

'Yes Sir.'

 

'What are your colors Harry?' Louis asked him as he continued to trace his tongue over his skin. Harry took in a deep breath and let it out softly.

 

'Green : I'm good. Yellow : I am reaching my limit. Red : stop!'

 

'Good boy,' Louis praised him. 'Now, I have some items here with me that I bought for us a while ago but which we never got to use, like this for instance.' Louis reached inside a bag that was beside him and pulled out a metal object which Harry realized was a butt plug. It was shaped like an egg only longer and much wider.

 

'This is a vibrating plug and I want to put this in you now. I want you gaping open for me by the time we get home. I don't really have the patience to prep you today. I just want to fuck you really really really hard Harry. Can I do that?' Harry felt light headed with arousal at Louis' words.

 

'Y-yes Sir,' he choked out.

 

'Good boy. Now I need you to lubricate this for me as silly me forgot the lube,' Louis told him sheepishly. Harry eyed the object in Louis' hand and doubted that that plug would go inside him but he trusted Louis blindly. Louis wouldn't hurt him or push him beyond his limits. Louis pressed the plug against his lips and Harry parted them, allowing Louis to push the plug into his mouth. Louis watched as Harry's sinful lips stretched around the item and he hollowed out his cheeks as he sucked on it. Harry made eye contact with Louis as he slurped around the thing in his mouth, letting his tongue roll around the tip then taking it back into his mouth making it all wet for Louis. Louis felt his dick stir at the sight before him. As Harry continued his sinful mouth acts on the plug, Louis told him :

 

'Now I want you to put your pants down and get on your knees, facing away from me and bend over across the opposite seats,' Louis ordered, taking the wet plug out of Harry's mouth. Harry wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and hesitated a little, eyeing the glistening object in Louis' hand, waiting to be put inside him.

 

'Is there a problem?' Louis asked him impatiently, arching a questioning eyebrow at him, his voice challenging.

 

S-sir I think that the p-plug is a bit t-too big for me,' Harry said. Louis smirked at him.

 

'Darling you had my cock up your ass which is way thicker and bigger than this thing here. Now, on your knees. Don't make me ask you again.' Harry nodded.

 

'Alright Sir,' he told him as he quickly unzipped his jeans and pulled them down his long legs along with his boxers and got down on his knees, leaning on the opposite seats his back to Louis.

 

'Beautiful,' Louis murmured as he appreciated Harry's bare bum. 'Now Harry, I want you to lean forward on the seat and spread yourself for me.'

 

Harry leaned further forward on to the seat, his chest and cheeks pressing into the cool leather of the Bentley seats. With trembling hands, Harry reached behind him, grabbed both his butt cheeks and pulled them apart, exposing his pink hole to Louis. Harry heard Louis take in a deep sharp in take of breath. He felt a bit awkward at being so exposed, his intimacy all spread out for Louis as Louis watched him but this was Louis. His Louis. He belonged to him : mind, body and soul just like Louis belonged to him. They were one.

 

Harry jerked forward as he felt the cold metal of the plug against his warm hole as Louis swirled it around making his hole flutter and his dick fatten up. Then Harry felt pressure on his hole as the plug tried to breach his rim.

 

'Relax your body for me,' Louis told him gently but firmly.

 

Harry nodded and tired to relax as much as he could but he was stressing and tensing at the prospect of that big plug entering him. Louis rubbed comforting circles in his lower back with his free hand and pushed the plug a little harder. He watched as Harry arched his back and a soft "ahh" left his lips.

 

'What's your color sweetheart?' Louis asked him.

 

'G-green Sir,' Harry replied.

 

'Take a deep breath for me honey,' Louis ordered. Harry obeyed and took in a deep breath. As he did so, Louis pushed the plug in a little harder until the rounded pointy top of the plug breached Harry's tight rim. Harry whined softly at the discomfort, his eyes screwed up tightly shut, his short fingernails digging hard into the flesh of his bum cheeks because the thing was big and it hurt. Louis continued to push it inside him slowly and gently, Harry's moans and whimpers turning him on.

 

The thickest part of the plug was about to enter Harry and Louis watched as the skin of his hole stretched impossibly wide to allow the plug entrance.

 

'Ahhhhh,' Harry cried out.

 

'Alright baby?' Louis asked him concerned. Harry felt the tears burn behind his closed lids as he took in deep breaths through his open mouth.

 

'Burn,' Harry whispered breathlessly. 'The-the stretch it burns so much.'

 

'You can color code sweetheart,' Louis told him but Harry shook his head. He wanted to be good for Louis and he knew that after the pain came the pleasure and that the pleasure Louis gave him was greater than any small pain he felt while being penetrated. Louis continued to push the plug in, Harry whimpering softly and moaning until the plug was nestled cozily inside him. Louis rubbed the skin right over Harry's hole where it was stretched the most.

 

'You were amazing sweetheart,' Louis praised him. 'Sit up and tell me how it feels.' Harry pulled himself up straight from lying face down into the seat and immediately felt the plug shift inside him, going deeper, nudging right up against his prostate. He closed his eyes.

 

'Oh God,' he whined, his voice deep and hoarse. Louis smiled.

 

'Feels good hmmm?' Harry only moaned out a reply. He pulled up his boxers and jeans and ever so carefully sat back down on the seat beside Louis. Instantly, the plug jabbed right into his prostate and he nearly cried out at the pleasure. He looked at Louis with wet eyes.

 

'It's...It's intense,' he whispered. Louis reached out and cupped his cheek, his thumb wiping away at the wetness underneath his eyes.

 

'That's the point love. Wait until it vibrates inside you. I will have you screaming bloody murder.' Harry looked at him with wide shocked eyes and Louis laughed at his comical expression.

 

'I promise I will not use the remote while we are having our session with Anthony but just to give you a heads up, I will use it while we are having dinner. Now Harry, I want you to behave while we are at Anthony's. No squirming or any movements that will indicate what we are doing. I want discretion from you at all times. I want you submissive and obedient. Are we clear?' Harry folded his hands neatly in his lap and looked down at them, adopting his submissive pose.

 

'Yes Sir.'

 

'And you will not come until I give you permission to. I want you to come when I tell you to and I want you to give me a few orgasms tonight. Can you do that?'

 

'Yes Sir. I will try and please you,' Harry replied obediently.

 

'Fail to obey me and you will be punished. Are we clear?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry said, head still bowed. Louis smiled at him, leaned over and pecked his lips fondly.

 

'Good boy. My beautiful good boy. Now relax we will soon arrive at Anthony's office and I don't want you flustered. Here,' he told him as he handed him a bottle of water which Harry gratefully took and drank deeply from.

 

'Thank you,' he told Louis. Harry sat back against the seat and it took everything he had in him not to cry out and moan loudly as the plug jabbed his prostate hard. His body felt as if it was being electrocuted from the inside out. He clasped his hands together and bit his hip hard, blinking back the tears that rimmed his eyes. Every jolt of the car, every bump in the road made the plug tap, tap, tap against his prostate. He had to concentrate on acting normal and concentrate on not to just come in his pants. Harry knew that he was in for a long stimulating evening.

 

Finally the car stopped in front of Anthony's building. Angus opened their door for them and Louis briskly stepped out into the cold evening, holding his hand out to Harry who took it and allowed himself to be helped by Louis because he felt totally detached from his body. He sighed in relief when he stood outside on the pavement beside Louis because once he was upright, the pressure of the plug on his prostate eased off a little bit and he could breathe a little and relax. Louis looked at his flushed face, smiled and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

 

'You are so incredibly beautiful and I am glad that you are mine. Can't wait to play with you,' Louis told him huskily and Harry wished that Louis would stop arousing him as if he wasn't already aroused enough and desperate for Louis to fuck him into oblivion. Louis took his hand because he could see the hazy look in Harry's eyes and the way his body was on the verge of losing control and led him into the building. They went to the elevator and Louis pressed the button to call down the elevator. Once they were inside and Louis had pressed the button for Anthony's floor, he looked at Harry.

 

'Compose yourself. You look fucked and on the verge of cumming. Do not make me punish you,' Louis warned him sternly. Harry nodded and wondered how the hell he could possibly compose himself when he had that thing up his ass constantly stimulating his prostate! However, he tried hard because he didn't want to disappoint Louis. He didn't mind the punishments. In fact, he secretly loved them but Louis wanted obedience and submission from him tonight and Harry was determined to give him both.

 

'Yes Sir,' he whispered. Louis squeezed his hand as the elevator dinged open and they walked hand in hand towards Anthony's office. Anthony opened the door and greeted them warmly before ushering them in and offering them the couch to sit on. Harry didn't want to sit. He dreaded having to sit. Louis sat down comfortably, crossed one leg over the other and patted the seat next to him smirking as he saw a flicker of agony pass over Harry's face. Oh he was enjoying this! He watched Harry sit down gingerly while trying to keep a straight face as the plug plunged right into his prostate. Louis watched him hold his breath and bite his lip, then relax.

 

'Comfortable love?' Louis asked him sweetly and sarcastically. Harry gave him a killer look.

 

'Very. Thank you,' he told him a little sassily. Louis gave him a smirk. Anthony looked from one to the other.

 

'So,' Anthony began once they were all comfortably seated. 'How have you two been? Its been a while since we've had a session.' Louis placed his hand on Harry's locked thighs. He was pressing them tightly together and Louis knew that he was trying hard to be obedient and please him given the circumstances.

 

'We are doing good. Better than good aren't we love?' Louis asked him and gave his thigh a hard squeeze. Harry cleared his throat because every touch from Louis was sending electric shocks throughout his whole body, highly arousing him.

 

'Yeah we are doing much better.' Anthony scrutinized him closely.

 

'Harry how has it been for you since you were all over the newspapers and social media about the rape scandal?' Harry swallowed thickly. Why must Anthony bring this up? Why must he talk to him about this now when all he wanted to do was to pounce on Louis and ride him hard and fast? Another squeeze from Louis' fingers. Harry knew that Louis was doing it to keep him grounded. He looked up at Anthony.

 

'It got bad to the point that I had to leave London,' Harry told him in a soft voice.

 

'What happened that was so bad that it made you leave? Where did you go?' Harry looked down at his nervous hands. He really didn't want to talk about this again.

 

'I went to my dad's,' he said quietly.

 

'Oh,' Anthony said a little surprised. 'So it was that bad that you went somewhere that was worse?' Harry fidgeted.

 

'Yeah I had to leave and I had nowhere else to go,' Harry told him and he really didn't want to disclose any of this in front of Louis because it would only make him feel bad.

 

'Tell me what drove you back to your father's house Harry,' Anthony urged him. Louis squeezed his thigh again, this time in a reassuring way and Harry felt the urge to cry.

 

'I had to drop out of Uni. Things were getting bad there. The stares, the not so subtle comments and insults, the gossip. I just had to leave. I couldn't take it. I knew people would gossip about what they read about me and then there where the paps.' He paused and gave Louis an apologetic look as if he was apologizing for what he was about to say. Louis nodded at him to carry on.

 

'They hounded me. Every time I went out they....they yelled questions at me and wanted to know things and they took pictures of me and I just couldn't....then someone...' He paused because clearly he was struggling and the damn plug inside him was making him feel all kinds of things and he was getting hard and had to concentrate on not to come in his pants and disobey Louis.

 

'Its alright Harry. Take your time,' Anthony told him. Again Louis squeezed his thigh and Harry wished that Louis would stop touching him right now. Harry kept looking at his fingers.

 

'Then someone sprayed my front door with words....'

 

'What?' Louis asked him, sitting up in his seat, clearly taken by surprise at Harry's words. 'What words? How come I don't know about this?' Harry looked at him sadly.

 

'I knew you would blame yourself if you knew. So I cleaned them before anyone saw them and took pictures.'

 

'What words Harry? What did they write on your front door?' Anthony asked him and Louis watched as Harry struggled.

 

'Slut. Whore. Those things,' he said quietly. Louis huffed.

 

'Motherfuckers!' he hissed angrily through his teeth. Anthony gave him a look to silence him.

 

'So you left to a place worse than where you were. How was you dad towards you?' Anthony asked him. Harry shrugged.

 

'The same. He still hates me. He's still disgusted by me. He still can't stand me.'

 

'Motherfucker!' Louis muttered again under his breath earning him another warning glance from Anthony.

 

'How does that make you feel Harry?'

 

'Sad. Unhappy. Worthless. He's my dad. He's sick and I was there for him. Tried to be all that he wants me to be but he...he hates me. And I'm okay with it now because Louis, he makes up for all that I lack from my father. He gives me a lot of love and attention and he makes me feel like I'm worth something. He makes me so happy and I'm grateful for him every single day.' Louis leaned closer and placed a kiss on his temple as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder and Harry snuggled into him, feeling the plug move and further inside him, stimulating his prostate. He buried his face in Louis' neck as Louis hugged him and he let out a small whimper letting Louis know that he was horny as fuck. Anthony cleared his throat and Harry sat back up properly again.

 

'Louis, how did Harry leaving abruptly effect you?'

 

'It drove me fucking crazy that's how it effected me. I had no idea where he had gone. I just found his empty flat and I went mental. I-I thought that something had happened to him, that maybe he had hurt himself. I couldn't live with myself for what had happened. I mean, I wanted to be punished for what I did to him but he...he just screwed everyone over when he came out with that story and evidence which he made my assistant steal from my basement.'

 

'How do you feel about what Harry did for you?' Anthony asked him. Louis shook his head as if in wonder.

 

'He came through for me and saved me jail time and for that, I can never repay him enough. But I was mad that he turned it all on himself to save my ass. He suffered for it and I wasn't okay with that. He went to Dan and gave an interview to The Sun of all newspapers but he knew that Dan would get his message across. He just wanted to save me and he did. He saved me in so many many ways.' Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder tighter and pulled him closer. Harry looked at him, his own green eyes melting into Louis' blue ones.

 

'You suffered enough. I couldn't make you suffer any more for something you had no control over. I know you didn't mean to rape me Lou. I always knew it in my heart that there was something more behind your actions. You were traumatized. It was all you knew. I can't hold it against you.' Louis felt his heart grow and swell at Harry's words. He loved him so much, far more beyond than he knew it was possible.

 

'Louis how does it feel now that you opened up to Harry and let him into your past?' Anthony asked him. Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'He's been extraordinary. He's been my strength through it all. He's taken care of me and helped me and looked after me and honestly, I can never thank him enough for his constant support. I was a fool to not have let him in sooner and that I waited. If I'd known he wouldn't turn me away, if I had known that he wouldn't leave me, I would've let him in way sooner.' Harry looked at him a little stunned.

 

'Why would I ever turn you away or leave you? You did nothing wrong. None of it was your fault,' Harry told him.

 

'Louis how does Harry's acceptance make you feel?' Louis beamed.

 

'It makes me feel like I'm finally home,' he simply said as he kissed Harry softly. Then he looked at Anthony. 'I'm glad I gave up the old life for him. Gave up my boys. He is well worth it. He is all I need.' Anthony pursed his lips.

 

'How is it going without your boys Louis?' Louis sighed deeply.

 

'Its alright. I mean I don't feel that urge any more. Harry has kinda put that angry fire in me out. I do sometimes feel the need to control and dominate and punish but its not like before. Before it was my need to release my anger and hate. Now, its more of a playtime thing since Harry introduced me to BDSM.' Louis looked at Harry, giving him a smirk and a wink. Anthony looked from one to the other as they smiled at each other conspiratorially.

 

'He did what?' Anthony asked because he just had to. Louis chuckled.

 

'This little minx here is into BDSM. All that he said at the hearing and during the interview with Dan, as it turned out wasn't all fabricated by clever little Styles here. Turns out this cheeky walnut really does in fact enjoy a little BDSM play and well since I'm a dominating fuck and he's a submissive little shit well, we work wonders together don't we love?' Harry buried his face in his hands because he knew he was flushing beet red. Louis hugged him and looked at Anthony.

 

'Thanks to him, I can still somewhat practice a little of what I used to do but its on a whole different level. Still, he knows what I need especially when I'm stressed out and he helps me by allowing me to practice certain things with him.' Anthony looked from one to the other concerned.

 

'Are you being safe Louis? You really need to know what you're doing,' Anthony told him.

 

'I researched it. I am keeping Harry safe at all times. We use the color code. I never push him further than his limits. I know his limits and he knows mine. We have boundaries. I know the things I'm allowed to do to him and the things I'm not. Harry keeps me aware at all times and I listen to him. When he color coded I stopped right away. I never hurt him. I will never ever hurt him.' Anthony nodded and scribbled some stuff into his notepad. Then he looked at Harry.

 

'Are you comfortable with all this Harry? Or are you doing it just to give Louis his outlet?' Harry shook his head.

 

'I'm doing it as much for him as for myself. Like Louis said, we both know our limits and there are boundaries. I trust him. He has never hurt me or put me in danger. We um we both kinda ugh get off on it.' Harry mumbled the last part and looked down quickly.

 

'I see,' Anthony said. Louis looked at him because Anthony looked like he wasn't convinced with what they had said.

 

'Anthony, I won't hurt him. I have learned. HE has taught me love and love is the greatest power a person can give and receive. HE is healing me and I am healing him.' Louis reached over and intertwined his finger's through Harry's, bringing their joined hands to rest over his heart. 'I am a changed man thanks to Harry. I cannot imagine my life without him and I will not do anything to jeopardize him or our relationship. I met his father and people who are important to him. He...he met my mother and she loves him too. Why would I possibly do anything to lose him?' Harry snuggled closer to him. Anthony smiled and closed his journal.

 

'I am very happy to see you both like this. I am glad that you are healing each other and both of you are on the same page. I must say that I am impressed. You both have come a very long way and you are on the way to healing. However, I would like to see you again on a regular basis, at least once a month just so we can keep track of your progress and discuss any couple trouble you might be having because believe it or not, you will have couple arguments and fights and when you do, I would like to be here for the both of you. You don't have to do it alone.' Louis and Harry got up, Harry sighing in relief and receiving an odd look from Anthony. Anthony stood too. Louis held out his hand to Anthony, which Anthony took and shook firmly.

 

'Thank you for everything you have done for us. We appreciate it and we will continue to come see you. We want to be better and make our relationship work,' Louis told him sincerely. Anthony smiled at them.

 

'You are doing a good job together for each other. Hold each other together and neither one of you will fall.' He shook Harry's hand and soon Louis and Harry where in the elevator on the way down. Louis looked at Harry.

 

'How are you feeling?'

 

'Emotionally or physically?' Harry asked him. Louis chuckled.

 

'Both.'

 

'Emotionally, I'm all over the place. You made me all soft in there. Physically? I'm in constant arousal and ready for anything.' Louis gave him a wicked grin and a wink.

 

'Wonderful because I have so much planned for you.'

 

 

x

 

 

The restaurant Louis had chosen was a very fancy one. It was on the roof garden of a posh hotel. Louis and Harry were seated inside the crowded restaurant that consisted of semi-circle red leather booths with black marble top tables. Their booth was by the floor to ceiling windows that over looked the roof garden outside but which was now closed because of the cold weather. 

 

Harry sat facing Louis, who was ever so relaxed, sipping a glass of chilled red wine while Harry was trying to sit in a position that would not jar the plug and further stimulate his prostate. The plug had been inside him for a while now and everything was super amplified : every touch, every word, every movement sent shots of arousal through his body. Louis looked at him over the menu.

 

'You haven't touched your wine,' he told him as he took another sip from his own glass. By now Harry was almost panting.

 

'I...I am too hot...Sir,' he said, feeling a sweat break out all over his body. Louis smiled.

 

'That you are!' He reached into his pants pocket and his fingers played with the small remote control but not pressing any buttons. He kept his eyes on Harry who was clearly struggling to keep himself composed as best as he could given the circumstances. Louis' finger stopped on a button and he pressed it down. Harry jumped and a gasp escaped his parted lips, his eyes wide with the sudden shock of vibration inside his ass. Louis stopped.

 

'What did I tell you about discretion?' Harry was gripping the table hard.

 

'I-I'm sorry Sir. I-I was just surprised. I promise to do better.'

 

'Good boy,' Louis told him as he pressed the remote again and watched Harry as he tried not to move and keep his face neutral as the vibrating plug assaulted his prostate. Louis stopped.

 

'Are you hard?' Louis asked him. Harry gulped and reached for his glass. He took a hefty swig of wine and swallowed.

 

'Yes Sir. I am very hard right now.'

 

'Good. Don't cum until I tell you you can. Do you understand?' Harry nodded as Louis pressed down the button again and he watched Harry's body contract and shake a little. He kept pressing the button all the while their waiter was taking their order and Harry wanted to scream and find release because the pleasure coursing through his body was extreme. He was trying to be good for Louis and discreet but it was too hard.

 

Louis laid off the remote, giving Harry some relaxing time (or was it?) to eat. Harry kept "discreetly" squirming and moving.

 

'Are you trying to chase your orgasm?' Louis asked him. Harry looked down feeling ashamed.

 

'I'm sorry Sir. I..I'm just....I wasn't going to cum. I just need....God,' he breathed and Louis could see his distress. He put his fork down and looked at Harry.

 

'Alright, you can come.' Harry looked at him beaming.

 

'Thank you Sir. I won't be long,' he told him as he made to get up.

 

'Where do you think you're going?' Louis asked him, a smirk on his face and a raised eyebrow. Apparently he was finding this highly amusing. Harry looked at him confused.

 

'To the bathroom to take care of it,' he told him softly not wanting to be overheard. Louis leaned back against the cushions and grinned at him.

 

'Oh no baby. I want you to cum here! At the dining table.' Harry gawked at him, his mouth open, eyes wide.

 

'Lou...I mean Sir, there are people all around us. I..I can't possibly....'

 

'Are you disobeying me?' Louis asked him sternly. 'There will be consequences if you are. Just letting you know.' Harry felt torn. He could color code and end this or he could take this game a notch higher and get even kinkier and let Louis make him cum right here in the restaurant. Harry sat back down.

 

'I won't disobey you Sir,' he said. 'Its just that we are in public and I....'

 

'I want you to learn to control yourself in public while I play with you. I want to arouse you in public. I want to get you off in public. It excites me and pleases me. We have done this before at the club in L.A,' Louis pointed out. Harry looked down.

 

'A club is different than a restaurant. We were in the dark and no one was looking,' Harry told him.

 

'Makes no difference. I want you to learn to control yourself when I play with you in public,' Louis stated simply, taking another sip of his wine.

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry whispered.

 

'Good boy. Now scoot closer to me, your back to the glass. No one will see what you are doing. The table and table cloth will hide you.' Harry scooted closer to Louis. Louis looked at him pointedly and grasped his thigh tightly under the table. 'Now I want you to discreetly rock back and forth on that plug and chase your orgasm.' Harry looked around the room with wide eyes because Louis was seriously making him do this in public but no one was paying them any mind and they were tucked in the corner by the windows. This both scared and excited Harry but he looked at Louis and gave him a nod. His body needed the release. Louis turned on the remote control and watched Harry gasp softly, his eyes falling closed as he ever so slowly and discreetly rocked his hips back and forth. His cheeks flushed pink and his breathing became erratic. As Louis watched the beautiful sight before him while continuing to eat, he was getting harder and harder underneath the table. A small moan escaped Harry and he pressed his butt down firmly against the seat to get more friction and rocked a little harder.

 

'Discretion,' Louis ordered firmly, taking another bite of his food.

 

'I-I'm...oh God L-Lou..S-Sir I'm c-close. Please help me,' Harry begged with bathed breath. He needed his dick to be touched. He was going to go crazy if he didn't get some relief! Louis leaned close to him, his lips by his ear, his hand still gripping his thigh tightly. To the people in the restaurant, who, had they paid them any notice, they were just another normal couple being sweet with each other.

 

'No touching. I want you to cum from just the butt plug. Spill for me sweetheart,' Louis whispered hotly in his ear and Harry shuddered. He rocked a little harder, squirming in the seat. He was too far gone now and he really didn't care if anyone saw. He just needed to cum. Louis rubbed his thigh under the table and he too wanted friction on his hard cock but he admired his beautiful boy as he shamelessly, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, rutted and rocked on the butt plug vibrating inside of him. Suddenly Harry stopped all movements and went all rigid, his hand grabbing Louis' hand that was on his thigh tightly and looked Louis in the eyes as his orgasm took him over. He kept himself composed not giving his orgasm away except for a few soft moans that left his parted lips as he felt his hot cum spread in his pants, his body shaking and trembling.

 

'Oh God oh God Louis,' he whispered quietly as he took his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it. Louis held his thigh tightly.

 

'There's my good boy,' he praised him. 'You are so fucking beautiful and amazing. Good job!' As soon as Harry was somewhat back to normal he looked at Louis with dazed eyes and a tired smile on his lips.

 

'That was....'

 

'Bloody amazing?' Louis asked him with a smirk. 'You're welcome.' Harry squirmed a little.

 

'Please turn it off. I'm sensitive.' Louis quickly turned the plug off and watched Harry's body relax.

 

'Dessert?' Louis asked him. Harry looked him in the eyes.

 

'No! Take me home. Please I...I need you.' Louis nodded and signaled the waiter over and asked for the bill.

 

 

X

 

No sooner had they got into the car, Harry was kissing Louis hungrily, tugging at his clothes as if he wanted to get him naked in the back seat of the Bentley. He was thankful that the partition was up. Before Louis could kiss him back, Harry was on his knees in between Louis' legs.

 

'Harry Harry baby....' Louis tried to protest but Harry was already fumbling with his belt. He looked up at him.

 

'Sir I want to take the edge off. I know you are hard and need it. Please allow me to please you.' And Louis rolled his head back on to the seat and groaned because how and when did he get so lucky to have this boy all for himself? Harry made quick work of pulling down Louis' pants and boxers leaving him exposed as his hard dick stood erect. Harry licked his lips and without any further thought took him deep into his mouth, making Louis groan and thrust up into his mouth.

 

'Jesus Harry oh my God your mouth is Heaven,' Louis whined. Harry hummed as he took him deeper into his mouth sending vibrations throughout Louis' body. Harry reached for his balls and he cupped them softly, fondling them. Louis gripped Harry's hair, fisting his curls and tugging, holding his head firmly as he thrust up into Harry's eager mouth.

 

'Oh baby you're amazing. Fuck I love that,' Louis moaned. Both of them were lost in pleasure and pleasing. Suddenly, the middle of Harry's long fingers brushed accidentally over Louis' hole and both of them froze. Harry pulled off Louis' cock with a horrified expression to find Louis glaring down at him, his eyes wide.

 

'I..I'm so-sorry. I didn't do it on purpose I swear. It-s just m-my fingers are too l-long and I accidentally....I'm so sorry.....' Harry blubbered. Louis reached out and cupped his cheek.

 

'Its alright. I was just taken by surprise. I-I haven't been....you know....'

 

'Yeah touched there,' Harry finished. 'God I'm such an idiot. I'm really sorry.' This time Louis cupped his face with both hands.

 

'Do it again.'

 

'What?' Harry asked him shocked. Louis smiled down at him.

 

'New beginnings new memories right? Together. Do it again. Just...' he swallowed thickly. 'Just don't enter me. Please.'

 

'Are you sure?' Harry asked him. Louis smiled.

 

'If I'm going to completely let go of my past, I have to move on from this too. I trust you. You're Harry, my beautiful boy. I trust you.' Louis placed a kiss on his lips and rested back against the seat. His heart was jack rabbiting in his chest. Nobody had ever touched him there except.....No, he won't think about it. This is Harry. Harry took him in his mouth again, bobbing his head up and down and preparing himself to touch Louis in his most intimate spot, the spot that scared Louis so much. Louis was trusting him and he wouldn't let him down.

 

As he continued to bob his head and hollow out his cheeks, Harry reached for his balls again but this time, his middle finger moved to Louis' hole. Harry kept his finger on it, not moving it, just feeling it flutter under his finger. He had never touched anyone there. This was his first time! He looked up at Louis to check if he was okay with this but he had his head resting back against the seat, his eyes screwed up shut and his fingers curled into fists resting on his bare thighs. He was breathing very fast and hard. Harry pulled off.

 

'Relax love,' Harry soothed him in his deep voice. 'You can color code too you know. You know our colors Lou so if I do anything wrong or anything that is uncomfortable to you, please stop me.' Louis raised his head and opened his eyes. He gave Harry as small smile.

 

'I trust you,' was all he said so Harry took that trust and worked with it. He sucked him hard and moved his finger in slow soft circles over Louis' fluttering hole, just feather light touches, occasionally tapping it a little and Louis was gone. So so gone. He was thrusting up harshly into Harry's mouth, making his eyes water but Harry let him. He knew that this was all new for Louis and the fact that he was letting him touch him so intimately was making Harry all soft and warm inside. And hard in his pants!

 

Harry could feel that Louis was close by the way he was grunting and groaning and thrusting up sloppily into his mouth. He knew what would make him come. He stopped moving his finger in circles over his hole and he just applied pressure on it. He wasn't going to breach him. He wouldn't break the trust that Louis had placed in him but he simply applied pressure on his hole and Louis was done. He came hard into his mouth, Harry choking a little at the unexpected hot liquid that filled his mouth and throat but he swallowed and kept working his throat till Louis rode out his orgasm. When Louis stopped shaking, Harry pulled off and sat back on his heels waiting for Louis to say something. Louis raised his head and looked at Harry with so much love and adoration in his eyes, it made Harry want to cry. Louis reached out for him and pulled him up on to his lap. He hugged him tightly and buried his face into his neck almost squeezing the life out of him.

 

'I love you so much,' he mumbled into his neck. 'All that you do for me Harry...I...I,' he choked up. Harry hugged him back equally tight and kissed the side of his face.

 

'Thank you for trusting me. You are my life,' he whispered. Louis looked up at him, his eyes wet.

 

'And you are mine,' he told him as he captured his lips in a loving kiss, tasting himself on Harry's tongue. Harry pulled back and smiled at him.

 

'Please get me home. I really really need you to fuck me hard now,' he told Louis almost innocently which made Louis burst into laughter.

 

'Yes Sir,' Louis told him, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

 

 

X

 

 

As soon as they entered the front door, Louis turned to Harry.

 

'I want you to go upstairs, shower and get into your sub position. You have no longer than ten minutes so you better be quick and do not take the butt plug out. Do you understand?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry told him eagerly and giddily as he headed towards the stairs. Louis shook his head and smiled happily at himself. He felt a certain kind of happiness that was so hard to describe and the fact that he had let Harry touch him there made him somewhat happier because in his mind, this was him winning over his past and HIM!

 

He went into the living room and poured himself a Bourbon, giving Harry a little time to shower and get ready. As he drank his Bourbon, Louis let his mind wander to how far along he had come ever since he had met Harry and how far along the both of them had come together and he knew that his life would have to include Harry for the rest of it.

 

But are you ready to give him what he wants?

 

Louis knew that his subconscious was asking him the question he was afraid of asking himself because in all honesty, he didn't know if he could commit to Harry fully and marry him. Yes, he knew that Harry wanted marriage and vows and a home with kids and a few pets but Louis didn't know if he was ready for that type of commitment. All he knew was that there was no way in hell he could live without Harry.

 

There's not much difference to marriage than the life you are both already living now. You only need to legalize it, make it official, give him your name.

 

Louis shuddered at the thought. No, he would never be the marriage type of guy. He could never be a husband or a father. He put his empty glass down and went into the kitchen to check up on Byron. He was sleeping in his bed but got up and walked over to Louis wagging his tail.

 

'Hey buddy,' Louis greeted the pup who licked his face. 'You good my little one? Let's get you some food and some water shall we?' Louis filled up his bowls, placed a kiss on top of the pups furry head, turned the lights off and headed off upstairs to their bedroom.

 

When Louis entered the bedroom, he found Harry naked, kneeling at the foot of the bed, sitting back on his haunches, hands neatly folded in his lap, head bowed, eyes down and Louis couldn't be prouder or hornier. As he passed him by, he ran his hand through his curls, tugging and massaging his scalp, making Harry purr.

 

'So good for me. So obedient,' Louis muttered. 'Gonna make you feel so good. You owe me two orgasms. Do you think you can give me two Harry?' Harry smiled.

 

'Yes Sir. I can and I will.'

 

'Good boy. I am so proud of you. Now get on the bed, lie down, arms stretched up towards the headboard.' Harry got up and quickly made his way to the bed, adopting the position Louis had asked of him. Louis came towards him and admired his naked body with its array of littered tattoos. He opened the bedside drawer and took out a pair of padded leather handcuffs with chains. He didn't want to hurt Harry so he opted for padded cuffs to protect his delicate wrists. He gently cuffed him to the bed, making sure they were not too tight.

 

Next Louis produced a blindfold and a pair of headphones. 'I am going to blind fold you Harry and once I put these headphones on, you will not hear a thing. You will be in silent darkness. You will not hear anything or see anything. You will just feel. Now I want you to listen to me carefully. Anytime you want to stop, say your colors. I will hear you. I will not ask your colors so its in your hands whether you want to continue or stop. Do not come until I tap you twice on your hip. Come before and you will be punished. Do you understand?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry replied. Louis nodded and placed the blindfold over Harry's eyes, plunging him into total darkness. Next he put on the headphones and Harry was cut off from the world. All he could hear was his breathing and fast beating heart. He waited to feel, his senses alert.

 

Louis exited the room for a few minutes but he was back and quickly stripped himself off his clothes. Harry couldn't hear or see so Louis was going to make him feel. He walked over to the bed and stood beside Harry as he placed a bowl of ice cubes on the bedside table. He picked one and ran it over Harry's nipple, making the boy gasp and arch his back off the bed at the sudden cold feeling. He twirled the ice cube around his nipple till it was hard and erect. Louis bent down and took it in his mouth, sucking hard on it while he put the ice on the other nipple, giving Harry different types of stimulations at once : warm mouth and cold ice.

 

Harry pulled at his restrains at the feeling of ice cold on one nipple and Louis' warm mouth on the other, sucking and nibbling at his sensitive nub. He moaned loudly. Louis moved his mouth to his other nipple as he took another ice cube and ran it down Harry's torso to his navel, past his happy trail, down to his pubic hair where he let it melt knowing the cold icy water would drip down to his balls and stretched out rim. Harry cried out in pleasure. Louis kept this up for a while till Harry was panting harshly and struggling in his restraints. Finally Louis produced nipple clamps from the drawer and clipped them onto Harry's puffy, sensitive nubs making him cry out loudly. He tugged at the chain that held them together and watched as his nipples extend. Harry mewled at the sensation of his nipples being pinched and tugged so harshly.

 

Louis wiped his hands on the sheets and moved to the foot of the bed. He grabbed Harry's ankles and pulled him down, till his hands were stretched above his head and his legs dangling off the bed. Harry held his breath not knowing what to expect. He felt Louis push his legs up, planting his feet on the bed and spread them wide apart. He was going crazy with need and he wanted Louis to touch him, to enter him, to fuck him hard already but Louis wanted to play and Harry was a willing player. Harry pushed his hips up and whined, trying to let Louis know that he wanted his dick touched but Louis held him down and placed kisses along the inside of his thighs, brushing his beard all along his creamy white thighs, making Harry groan out loudly. He never once touched his hard, swollen cock which was leaking profusely all over his tummy. Louis reached down between Harry's legs and tugged on the plug making Harry moan sinfully loud.

 

'Please please please Sir please,' Harry begged hysterically. He tugged on his restraints and pushed his hips down hoping Louis would pull the plug out and fuck him but Louis wanted to tease. He wanted to draw out Harry's orgasms, make him work for them. He pulled the plug a little way out and pushed it back in.

 

'Ahhhhh God pleasssse,' Harry whined. He was becoming restless with his need to come. He was leaking more precome all over his stomach. Louis teasingly fucked him slowly with the plug till Harry was a squirming mess of limbs and pleas falling from his mouth, begging Louis for more. Finally Louis decided that Harry had been teased enough. He tapped him twice on the hip, giving him his permission to cum while continuing to fuck him with the plug ever so slowly and gently. With his free hand, he took hold of Harry's cock and pumped his excruciatingly slow, Harry thrusting up frantically into Louis' fist.

 

'Please faster,' he begged but Louis was having none of it. He was going to draw it out slowly because it would be more pleasurable and he would cum harder. Louis passed his thumb over Harry's swollen head, smearing precum all over then pressed his thumb hard into his slit and had Harry coming like a freight train, his body spasming as his orgasm shook him to his very core. He shot his load all over Louis' hand, his tummy and his stomach, making a mess. Louis continued to work him through it till Harry shook violently and he relaxed on the mattress, his breathing harsh. Louis pulled out the plug from his hole and stopped all movements. He walked over to the bedside table, pulled out some wet wipes and wiped his hands clean. He removed Harry's headphones but left the blindfold on.

 

'You have been such a good boy for me. You took all that so obediently. I am very proud of you but you owe me another orgasm. Do you think you can give me another one Harry?' Louis asked him huskily. Harry gulped. He doubted his body could withstand any more pleasure and another orgasm. He was sensitive all over.

 

'Y-yes Sir,' he whispered hoarsely. Louis bent down over him and kissed him deeply, parting his lips with his tongue, savoring his taste, his warm mouth. He pulled back and pecked his lips fondly then pulled out a wad of wet wipes and cleaned Harry, giving him a few minutes respite before he started on him again. This time, he would make the teasing less. Just work him to full hardness and fuck him, because Louis was very hard now and his throbbing dick was aching to be inside his boy.

 

Louis fished out a vibrator from their bedside table drawer and placed himself at the foot of the bed again, between Harry's spread thighs. His hole was red and puffy and still a little gaping open but he needed to have him fully open and loose so he flicked on the vibrator and saw Harry stiffen when he heard the buzzing sound. Louis placed the vibrator against Harry's dick, holding them both together in his hand.

 

'Nghhhh,' Harry groaned at the sensation of frothing with a vibrator. It was amazing. Louis ducked his head between Harry's ass cheeks and licked his hole, making Harry startle.

 

'Oh God,' Harry whined. 'Sir please.' Louis complied to Harry's wishes. After all the boy had earned it. He began to eat him out, swirling his tongue around his hole, licking and sucking the rim. Harry was in paradise. He pushed his hips down hoping Louis would get the idea and Louis did because he pushed his tongue inside Harry, licking at his warm velvet walls. Harry was beside himself, lost in pleasure from Louis tongue fucking him and the vibrator frothing against his dick. He was feeling too much. The nipple clamps where still clamped around his sore sensitive nipples, Louis' tongue inside him was sending him over the edge but he had to hold back his orgasm until Louis gave him his permission. Tears began to leak from his eyes behind the blindfold. He didn't want to color code. He just wanted Louis to fuck him. He wanted to feel Louis inside him and he wanted to cum.

 

'L-Louis p-please I-I d-don't think I....I can take more....please,' Harry said his voice choked up. Louis heard the distress and tears in his voice. He raised his head from between his legs and removed the vibrator, turning it off. He moved up near Harry and removed the blindfold to find Harry crying. He cupped his face.

 

'Baby are you alright? Do you want to stop?' But Harry shook hishead.

 

'N-no. I just want you. I want you inside me. No more teasing please. My body can't hold back any more. Please Louis.'

 

'Shh shh shh sweetheart. I'm gonna give you what you want. I'm gonna fuck you really hard. Can I?'

 

'Yes yes,' Harry quickly said. 'Please Sir.'

 

'Can I leave your hands tied please?' Louis asked, more of a beg. Harry nodded. Louis kissed his lips and grabbed the lube bottle. He went back to the foot of the bed in between Harry's legs. He poured lube and coated himself, grabbed Harry's hips, pulling him further down and placed himself at his entrance then pushed himself into Harry in one swift movement. Harry nearly screamed at the sudden intrusion but God Louis felt divine inside of him. Yes, it burned and it hurt a little but it was nothing compared to the pleasure at being fucked by Louis.

 

Louis picked up a fast rhythm thrusting into Harry relentlessly and Harry took him. He moved his hips along to Louis' thrusts and soon they were both breathless and panting, the room filled with moans and groans and skin slapping against skin.

 

'God Harry I love you,' Louis breathed out as he continued to pound into him relentlessly assaulting his prostate.

 

'Louis Louis can I....oh God Louis please,' Harry garbled out in between his moans.

 

'Yes sweetheart come for me,' Louis urged him on. He loved when Harry came first because when he did, he clenched down hard on him and Louis loved that feeling. A few more hard thrusts and Harry came for the third time. He felt spent and his body felt like jelly. He closed his eyes and let the pleasure take him to that wonderful place where he was light and relaxed. Louis came with a growl inside Harry's tight warm heat.

 

Louis pulled out of Harry very gently because by now he knew that Harry would be over sensitive. He looked at his boy, sprawled out on the bed, lost in subspace. He put his legs down gently and rubbed his groin area because they had been open for a while so he must have cramps there. Then he removed the nipple clamps very slowly and watched Harry wince. Louis kissed each puffy nipple softly. Harry whined. Then Louis undid the cuffs and rubbed circulation back into his hands and wrists. Harry whimpered. Louis let him rest in his happy place for a little bit as he went into the bathroom and filled the tub with hot water, pouring in some scented rose oil.

 

He went back into the bed room to find Harry still passed out. Louis ran his fingers through his hair softly, coaxing him back to him. Harry's eyes slowly fluttered opened and found himself looking into Louis' blue eyes. He smiled at him.

 

'Welcome back,' Louis told him as he placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'I can't feel my body Lou,' Harry said, a lazy smile on his lips. Louis chuckled.

 

'Three orgasms do that to you. You were fucking amazing honey,' Louis praised him and Harry basked in it.

 

'You were pretty amazing yourself. Not easy to make me come three times but you did,' Harry told him. Louis caressed his cheeks.

 

'Gonna help you up so we can take a bath now alright.' Harry nodded and Louis helped his boy off the bed and into the hot tub where they soaked and relaxed. Louis took time washing Harry and Harry let him. He liked it when Louis pampered him. When they were done with the bath, Louis tucked Harry into bed and went quickly down to the kitchen to make him a cup of tea with a lot of milk and one for himself. When he got back, Harry was dozing off against the pillows.

 

'Here,' Louis told him as he handed him his tea which Harry took gratefully. He sipped it and hummed in appreciation. Then Louis grabbed a pair of fluffy socks from Harry's drawer and pulled the duvet back.

 

'Give me your feet. You need socks cos I don't want your freezing toes touching mine,' he told him fondly as he put the socks on his feet. Harry giggled and continued to sip on his tea. When they were both done, Louis got in bed behind Harry and spooned him close to him. He kissed him behind his ear.

 

'Sleep. Tomorrow we have our first meeting with the real estate agent. We will be looking at potential houses. Hopefully we will find our new home soon.' Harry snuggled happily into Louis, feeling excited that tomorrow they will be looking for their new home.

 

'I love you,' Louis whispered.

 

 

'And I you,' Harry mumbled groggily as they both fell into deep contended sleep.

 

Hope you all enjoyed it. Chapter 29 coming soon.........


	29. It Takes Great Courage And Love To Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again and I deeply apologize for taking long to update but today I will update two chapters for you guys. Right after this one I will update chapter 30 too. I really want to thank you for taking the time to read my fic and posting comments here that encourage me because yes I am very self conscious about my writing and I never think I'm good enough so big thanks to those of you who with just a simple message lift me up and give me the courage to write. You are angels. I'll leave you to it. Dont forget the other chapter too ;)  
> All the love, M

It Takes Great Love and Courage to Trust.

 

 

Louis parked his Audi R8 in his reserved spot on level one of the under ground parking of his building. He killed the engine and sat in the car. The clock on his dashboard read seven ten in the morning. It was too early and he was too tired to even be here, to even be up at this ungodly hour. He should be at home, in bed, wrapped up around Harry! The day hadn't even started yet and he already felt mentally exhausted. He found himself longing for Harry, for days off where he didn't have to worry about work and mergers and meetings but just cuddle with his boy and do nothing but make sweet love to him. But here he was, driving himself to work because Harry preferred to be driven so he had left Angus for him today, considering last night's activities, Louis figured Harry would be tired and sore to drive himself to University. So Louis, being as whipped as he was and so taken by Harry that he knew he would do anything for him, had left Angus to drive him and had opted for driving himself to work. However, the nagging feeling inside of him that Harry was lying to him about something, festered inside of him, growing and eating at him. Still, Louis closed an eye to the nagging feeling inside of him, told it to shut the fuck up and gave Harry the benefit of the doubt because he trusted Harry. He knew Harry well enough to know that he would tell him eventually and if not, well Louis had the means to find out what was it that Harry was holding back from him.

 

He decided that it wouldn't hurt to just sit in his car in the silence of the still empty garage for a little while and rest his tired mind before he went up to his office and started the long day ahead. His employees won't be in till at least nine. His mind drifted back to last night, in the back seat of his Bentley when Harry had touched him there and he had let him. Louis took in a deep shuddering breath as he felt the ghost of Harry's long smooth finger rubbing circles and tapping his hole. Then the intense pressure he had applied and even though Louis had nearly lost his shit because he thought Harry was going to enter him, he had enjoyed it and had come so hard like never before, so hard that he had seen the entire galaxy and a few shooting stars behind his closed eyes. He wondered now what it would feel like to have Harry's finger inside him. Two fingers. Three fingers. Harry's dick! Louis shuddered. It was a scary thought, very scary but he found himself wanting it and he trusted Harry blindly. Could he go through with it? Could he bottom for Harry? Could he bottom for himself and get over this fear once and for all? Louis wanted to get over this fear so much. It was Harry! Harry wouldn't hurt him and Harry would be gentle and Harry would love him through it because Harry understood him and knew him. A rapping on the glass of his window made him jump violently. He looked up at the person rapping their knuckles against his window and he froze, his mouth falling slightly open.

 

Ryan! What the fuck was he doing here? How was he even in here? Louis quickly got out of the car and faced his ex sub, his heart beating rapidly against his chest.

 

'Hi Mr. Tomlinson,' Ryan told him softly, giving him a shy smile.

 

'What the fuck are you doing here and how did you even get past security?' Louis growled at him, foregoing pleasantries. Ryan shied away from Louis' harsh tone.

 

'I-I still have the security pass card that you gave me Sir for whenever you needed me here,' Ryan told him, his voice subdued, his eyes lowered just as Louis had always wanted him.

 

'And what the fuck makes you think I need you now? Here?' Louis barked at him. Ryan kept his gaze to the ground and it was only then that Louis realized how disgusted he felt that somebody other than Harry was submitting to him.

 

'I-I miss you Sir. I j-just wanted to see you,' Ryan said softly. Louis huffed and rolled his eyes. He didn't need this shit this morning. Not ever actually.

 

'Ryan, I thought I made myself clear when I sent you packing and for good reasons too. I am a taken man. I'm done with all of you. Now give me the security pass and get the fuck out of my building before I call the police and have you charged for trespassing.' At his words, Ryan fell to his knees in front of Louis, keeping his head bowed and held up to him a belt that he had been holding behind his back. Louis felt his stomach lurch as he stared at his sub on his knees, head bowed and belt in his hand being offered to him. This was wrong. This was so wrong on so many fucked up levels. This role was only strictly reserved for Harry! Harry was his exclusive sub now! The one and only.

 

'Please Sir, just one more time. I need you just one more time.' Louis snatched the belt from his hand roughly.

 

'Get the fuck up Ryan,' he yelled and Ryan quickly obeyed, yet kept his head down. 'I will say this for the last fucking time. I don't need you or anyone else. I am happily taken and if you even think that I am going to cheat on Harry with you, then you are greatly deluded. Now, get the fuck out of my building. I won't say it again.' But Ryan became desperate. He moved closer to Louis, wrapped his arms around his waist, held him tightly.

 

'Please Sir I need you please,' he pleaded in a choked up voice. He moved his hands from around Louis' waist down to his belt and began undoing his belt quickly. Louis caught his wrists tightly.

 

'The fuck you think you're doing?' he screamed at him but Ryan wasn't going to give up. He struggled in Louis' hold trying to free himself. Louis turned him round and slammed him face down on to the hood of his Audi, standing behind him and holding both his wrists behind his back in a vice grip to stop him from struggling and undressing him. Louis knew how to hold him down. Ryan sighed as if in relief as he felt his Master's rough hands on him.

 

'Yes Sir please, subdue me. I've been bad. Punish me.' Louis felt is if he was going to throw up the lining of his stomach. He only wanted to hear Harry say those things not fucking Ryan! He bent over him, his lips close to his ears.

 

'Ryan now you fucking listen to me. This has to stop. We are done. I don't do this any more so you need to chill the fuck down and do not harass me again or I will have you arrested for harassment.' Louis squeezed his wrists together making Ryan gasp and whine out. 'I will get a retraining order if you continue with this shit. Stay away from me. Do you understand?' Ryan whimpered beneath him.

 

'Y-yes Sir,' Ryan choked out. Louis let him go.

 

'Now leave. Get the fuck out.' Ryan nodded and was quick to exit the parking lot straight out onto street level. He waited for a few minutes, hidden in a door way until another man emerged from the underground parking lot and walked over to Ryan. Ryan looked at him, a wicked grin playing in his lips.

 

'Did you get good pictures of what happened in there?' he asked him.

 

'I did.'

 

'Let me see,' Ryan ordered.' The man turned the camera towards Ryan and flicked through the photos he had taken : Ryan on his knees in front of Louis who held the belt in his hands. Ryan face down on the bonnet of Louis' car and Louis draped over him. Ryan smirked and looked at the man.

 

'Good job. Now get to photoshop and make him look like he's fucking me.' The man smiled at him.

 

'Sure thing Ry. Give me a few days and I'll have them for you.'

 

 

x

 

Harry woke up to an empty bed and he frowned when his hands didn't find Louis' warm body cuddling him. He stretched his long limbs in the big lavish bed and he felt oh so sore, a beautiful kind of sore that reminded him of the night before and all the things that Louis had done to him. Harry turned on to his side, facing Louis' empty side of the bed. He grabbed Louis' pillow and hugged it tightly to him, burying his face in it and inhaling deeply to smell Louis. He smiled a lazy happy smile to himself as he relished in the memory of Louis' hands on him, Louis' mouth, Louis' lips, Louis' tongue, Louis' dick filling him up nice and proper. Harry moaned softly into the pillow, tightening his grip around it. He wished Louis was here to touch him but he wasn't and Harry had to get up and go to classes. He huffed and rolled on to his other side, wincing a little. He grabbed his phone to check the time but a sheet of paper fell to the floor. Harry reached over and picked it up. It was a note written in Louis' neat cursive hand writing.

 

Good morning sleeping beauty, I had to leave early which is why you woke up to an empty bed, which I hate. Trust me when I say that I didn't want to leave you but I had to. Sorry I didn't wake you. I didn't have the heart to disturb your sleep since you worked so hard for me last night and you looked liked an angel sleeping deeply! Thank you for a beautiful time love and I can't wait for all this to be over so we can spend some time alone just you and I. I love you so much baby. Have a good day.

PS: Angus will drive you today. I figured you would be too tired and sore to drive but only for today. Tomorrow you will take the Rover.

 

Harry let the sheet of paper fall on to his face and he smiled happily. His heart soared and fluttered at Louis' words. Louis was so thoughtful and kind to him. Harry grabbed his phone and swiped it. It was a little after eight thirty. He went to his messages.

 

[FromHarry] :

Good morning handsome. Missed you this morning. You should've woken me up. Wanted to kiss you goodbye. I love you.

 

He hit sent, stretched one more time and got up. He had to get ready for lectures and more assignments. A very long day lay ahead of him, but Harry was happy and he felt as if he could conquer the whole world.

 

 

X

 

Louis spent the rest of the day feeling off. Ryan's appearance had somewhat rattled him and he didn't like the fact that he had been on his premises. He had gone through most of his meetings in a daze thinking about what had happened down in the garage and it made him realize how he didn't miss his boys at all and how glad he was that he had given up that part of his life. It also made him realize how lucky he was that he had met Harry and how grateful he was that Harry had made this big cosmic change in his life. He had literally shook the ground beneath his feet and he had changed Louis' world as he knew it into something far more better. Louis sighed, a small content sigh because he liked that he belonged to Harry and that Harry belonged to him.

 

He looked at his watch and saw that it was three thirty in the afternoon. At six they had to meet his real estate agent to start looking at possible houses that hopefully would become their new home. He and Harry were setting up a home and he was exited. This was another first that he was doing, setting up a home with his partner! He couldn't help the stupid grin that formed on his face. Three hours was too long to wait and after this morning's surprise visit from Ryan, all Louis wanted was to be with Harry. He buzzed Lynn.

 

'Lynn, can you come to my office please.'

 

'Right away Sir,' Lynn replied and in a few minutes, she was pushing his door open.

 

'Hi Lynn what's left on the agenda for today?' Louis asked her. Lynn sat down and tapped her tablet.

 

'You still have three meetings and a video conference Sir,' Lynn informed him. Louis rubbed the bridge of his nose as he weighed his options. Yes, he needed this merger. Yes, he wanted this merger. But did he need it and want it more than he needed and wanted Harry?

 

'Lynn, cancel the rest of my appointments,' Louis told her as he got up off his chair and commenced to put on his suit jacket. Lynn looked at him in astonishment.

 

'But Sir your next three meetings.....'

 

'Lynn I need to go. There's something I have to take care of urgently. Reschedule,' he told her making his way towards the door.

 

'Sir what if they don't want to reschedule? What do I do?' Louis stopped in the doorway.

 

'I'll have my phone with me. Call if they give you any shit and put them through to me. I've nearly had enough of their crap anyway. Lynn I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.' And Louis was out the door, heading towards the elevator. He needed to get to Harry. He just wanted to hold him for reassurance, for comfort, because after this morning, he just needed to be close to him.

 

The elevator dinged open on the first level of the underground parking lot. Louis tentatively walked out and headed towards his car, looking around him as if he expected Ryan to pop out again from behind a car and harass him some more. He made a mental note to tell security not to let anyone in unless they were clients, board members, employees or.....Harry! He quickly got into his car and sped home.

 

X

 

Harry was in the kitchen munching on chocolate chip cookies that Judy had just baked, sipping tea and working on his laptop, trying to write out an assignment due in the next day. He knew he was late with it. Usually his assignments would be ready at least a week before the due date but given the circumstances, lately he was almost late with everything. Almost though. Not quite late!

 

The sound of the front door opening brought Harry's head up from his laptop. They were not expecting anyone and Louis still had almost three hours till he got off work. Before Harry could wonder who it was, Louis sauntered into the kitchen, his eyes finding Harry immediately and he smiled as if in relief. He walked over to a stunned Harry and before Harry could say anything, Louis cupped his face in both his hands, tilted his face up and kissed him softly on the lips, just his lips moving over Harry's. They tasted of tea and chocolate and Louis wanted to cry because he could never trade in all this that he had for Ryan or anyone else for that matter. And he felt a weight lift off his shoulders because now he was here with Harry, at home. He pulled back, gave him a small smile and placed a kiss on his forehead then sat down on the chair closest to Harry. Harry looked at him curiously.

 

'What are you doing home so early?' Louis took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

 

'I missed you.' Harry furrowed his brow, clearly confused by Louis' actions.

 

'Louis what's going on? Are you alright? What about your merger?' Louis shrugged.

 

'Nothing is going on. Must something be going on just because I want to spend some time with my boy?' Louis was not going to tell him what had happened with Ryan! Harry's frown deepened.

 

'Ooookay,' Harry told him, a smile playing on his lips not really buying it but enjoying the fact that Louis was home early. Louis smiled back at him.

 

'What?' he asked him.

 

'Its just that you have been working late and leaving early in the mornings and coming back home late in the evenings and you've been stressing out over this merger and now suddenly, you leave work and you're here because you want to spend time with me,' Harry explained. Louis moved closer and nuzzled his face in his neck, sucking softly on his skin, making Harry sigh and throw his head back, closing his eyes.

 

'I just missed you,' Louis whispered hotly against his neck. 'I just wanted some time with you baby.' Harry moaned softly in the back of his throat.

 

'Lou,' he groaned out a warning.

 

'What my love?' Louis mumbled as he continued to bite and suck his skin softly.

 

'Please don't make me hard. I-I um h-have God Lou....' Harry whined, relishing in the feeling of Louis' lips on his neck. His body was quick to respond to Louis' touch however small it was.

 

'You have what darling?' Louis cooed as he licked a stripe up his neck making Harry shudder.

 

'I-I have t-to finish this assignment for tomorrow and...and we-we're in the k-kitchen oh God Lou,' Harry choked out with difficulty because Louis was doing things to him and his body was complying even though his mind wanted to continue his assignment. His body was a traitor! Louis smiled against his neck, knowing full well what he was doing to Harry. He trailed his hand up Harry's thigh ever so softly.

 

'And your point is?' Louis teased while sucking softly at Harry's sensitive spot right beneath his ear. Harry let out a long drawn moan.

 

'A-anyone could walk in Lou,' Harry breathed out. As if on que, Judy entered the kitchen from the garden and stopped in her tracks but she smiled when she saw Louis and Harry being affectionate.

 

'Good afternoon Sir,' she said smiling fondly at them. 'You are home early.'

 

'Discretion,' Louis whispered in Harry's ear and quickly Harry tried to compose himself the best he could. Louis smiled at Judy as he began palming Harry under the table. Harry took in a deep breath and wanted to close his eyes so much because the feeling was so pleasurable.

 

'Just came home a little early to spend some time with Harry before we meet Fiona. Hopefully we will soon find a house,' Louis talked casually as he continued to palm Harry over his sweat pants. Judy nodded, clearly pleased that her boss was thinking of Harry rather than his work. Harry was trying his best to keep himself from moaning out loud for Judy's sake. He looked down at his laptop trying to concentrate on what he had written but his vision was becoming blurry from the pleasure Louis was giving him. He wanted Judy to leave. Now!

 

'Fancy a cuppa and some cookies Sir?' Judy asked him casually as she cast a look at Harry who huffed and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He looked some what flushed. 'Harry darling are you alright?' Harry jumped at the mention of his name and he looked at Judy just as Louis squeezed him a little too hard. Harry gulped trying to swallow down a moan.

 

'Ye-yes just this.....FUCK....' Harry let out as Louis squeezed him again. He swallowed thickly. 'Sorry its j-just this assignment. It's....difficult....GOD!' Louis chuckled at Harry's obvious frustration. He decided to put him out of his misery and send Judy on her way.

 

'I'd love some tea Judy please,' Louis told her still chuckling to himself and smiling while palming Harry who was about to have a stroke. As soon as Judy exited the room, Harry lay his forehead on the cold table and let out his breath in an annoyed huff.

 

'Lou please,' he whined as he spread his legs further giving Louis more access. Louis kissed the back of his sweaty neck.

 

'Want me to stop or do you want me to finish you off?' Louis asked him, a beatific smile on his beautiful face which Harry was weak for. Harry turned his head towards Louis, pressing his cheek against the table and gave him a smile.

 

'Finish me off,' he whispered. Louis kissed his cheek.

 

'Be quiet alright. We don't want Judy to hear,' Louis told him giving him a wink. Harry nodded. Louis slipped his hand inside Harry's sweatpants and was surprised to find that Harry wasn't wearing any underwear. 'Cheeky bugger,' Louis smiled as he gripped his now hard cock and began pumping him a little slowly at first then picked up his rhythm. Harry remained as he was, cheek to the table, eyes closed, lips parted, brows furrowed and Louis just watched his beautiful face as he continued to work him. Harry rocked back on forth on the chair, thrusting his hips up into Louis' fist and Louis could tell he was already close. He leaned over and placed small kisses on his flushed cheek and neck as he ran his thumb over his slit making Harry tremble and moan lowly.

 

'Come for me sweetheart,' Louis told him softly, licking at the shell of his ear. Harry groaned as his hips stuttered a little, then he stilled his body and he spilled his load with a whimper. 'Good boy,' Louis praised him, watching Harry pant through parted lips as he continued to stroke him through his orgasm. Harry's body relaxed and he cracked his eyes open and smiled up at Louis, that radiant smile that Louis knew out shone the sun itself.

 

'You should always come home earlier if this is what I will get,' Harry groaned. 'And I'd like to know if this is a fetish of your's getting me off at the dining table.' Louis laughed loudly, the kind that made his eyes crinkle and Harry's heart thud fast . He leaned down and kissed his cheek.

 

'I love you so much,' Louis told him with so much feeling behind his words that Harry felt them in his bones. Harry grinned happily.

 

'And I you.'

 

x

 

By quarter to six, Harry sat happily in the back seat of the Bentley beside Louis, holding his hand as Angus drove them to meet Fiona, Louis' real estate agent at the first house they were going to view which was in Knightsbridge. Harry was very excited and he couldn't stop squirming in his seat.

 

'Are we there yet?' he asked Louis. Louis squeezed his hand.

 

'Calm down honey. Almost there.' Harry hugged Louis' arm to his chest.

 

'I'm so excited Lou. We might get our own home today.' Louis turned in his seat to look at him, not helping the fond smile at his baby's excited face.

 

'Sweetheart, we need to see a few before we decide on which one to go for so be patient yeah.' Harry nodded eagerly and pecked Louis' lips.

 

'I know but just the thought of having our own home, I don't know, its filling me with excitement.' Louis laughed and hugged him just as Angus pulled up in Cadogan Square in front of a very beautiful house. Louis and Harry got out of the car and a woman greeted them, all smiles and ready to make a sale.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' she said, extending her hand to him, which Louis took and shook. 'Its such a pleasure to be showing you around a few of the houses I found based on your request.'

 

'Thank you Fiona, I appreciate it. This is Harry Styles my partner,' Louis told her and Harry shook her hand.

 

'It is so nice to meet you Mr. Styles.'

 

'Please, just Harry,' Harry told her giving her his full on dimpled smile. Louis rolled his eyes fondly. He found it adorably cute that Harry always told people it was "Just Harry." Louis scoffed internally. As if he was "Just Harry!" It made him sound rather plain and simple and Harry was so very far from plain and simple! The boy didn't even know his own worth!

 

'Please follow me inside,' she told them and they both followed her, hand in hand. Fiona began showing them around the beautiful fully furnished house, describing that the house consisted of a drawing room, a dining room, a kitchen, a master bedroom suite, two further bedrooms both en suite and communal gardens. As she explained and walked them from room to room, Harry was enthralled. Louis' phone rang but he ignored it. Fiona led them into the spacious kitchen and Louis' phone rang again. He looked at them apologetically.

 

'I'm sorry I really have to take this. Please continue showing Harry around,' he told them as he took out his phone and walked out of the room to take his call. Harry gave him a scowl but followed Fiona regardless. He looked around and he had to admit that the house, even though beautiful and luxurious, didn't quite catch his fancy. He couldn't imagine them making a life here. As he was contemplating the pros and cons of this house, he felt Louis' arm snake around his waist and place a kiss behind his ear.

 

'Sorry love,' he said softly. 'What do you think of this house then?'

 

'I um don't really like it,' he admitted quietly. Louis nodded.

 

'Fiona this is not it. Harry doesn't like it,' Louis told Fiona, cutting her off in the middle of telling him the price of the house. Harry nudged him hard and gave him a "what the fuck" look. Louis looked at him confused and saw that his face was beet red.

 

'What?' Louis asked him a little perplexed. Harry moved closer to him and lowered his voice.

 

'Be polite,' he said softly. Louis laughed out loud at how embarrassed his baby was. Clearly he had never dealt with real estate agents before.

 

'I'll try sweetheart,' he told him as he placed a kiss on his temple. 'But its quite normal to just state out right away whether you like the house or not. Saves a lot of time to both parties. Where to next Fiona please?' Louis asked her cheerfully, keeping his arm around Harry's waist. Fiona tapped her tablet.

 

'I have one for you at Notting Hill,' she told Louis. Harry chuckled beside him and Louis looked at him quizzically.

 

'The movie?' Harry said by way of explanation. He huffed when Louis showed no recognition as to what Harry was implying. 'Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant? Notting Hill? Rom-com?' Harry pressed and still Louis gave him a blank look. Harry face palmed himself and pecked his lips. 'God you're hopeless. We are watching that movie on Netflix. Don't mind me gushing over Hugh Grant though. I fancy him.' Louis gave him a playful scowl.

 

'I don't like you drooling over other men. Selfish remember?' Harry giggled and cuddled closer to Louis.

 

'Just you,' he whispered and Louis smiled happily, placed a kiss on his temple and followed Fiona outside who was riding with them to the next location to save them time. On the way to Notting Hill, Louis had another phone call from the office. Harry was beginning to feel a little irritated because this was a special time for them. He just wanted Louis to turn his phone off for a while.

 

They got to the Notting Hill house and once again Fiona started showing them around the house. Harry could tell that Louis was not concentrating on the house. He kept checking his phone and texting and Harry felt the urge to grab his phone and chuck it out the window.

 

'Lou,' Harry said trying to hide his irritation. 'Maybe we should do this some other time when you are less busy?' Louis quickly put his phone in his jacket pocket and gave him an apologetic smile.

 

'Its alright love. I'm not busy. What do you think of this house?' Harry huffed a little clearly annoyed.

 

'You haven't even seen any of the rooms. You were busy texting Lou,' Harry pointed out not bothering to hide his annoyance.

 

'I'm sorry love. It's just I cancelled all my meetings today and Lynn needs my help with a few things. I'll pay attention. I promise.' Harry sighed, gave him a small smile and took his hand. They followed Fiona round the house but Harry wasn't feeling this one either. So Fiona took them to the next house in West Brompton. On the way, Louis was engrossed in a phone call with Lynn and Harry was starting to feel frustrated now. He just sat and sulked as he looked out of the window. He didn't want to do this in front of Fiona.

 

When they got to West Brompton, Fiona took them to a big modern house but on first sight, Harry didn't like it. Still, he wanted to see it so he followed Fiona inside. And again Louis' phone went off and Harry gave him an exasperated look but Louis just shrugged apologetically at him and took the call, walking out of the room once again. Harry huffed feeling resigned and a little disappointed with Louis.

 

'I'm awfully sorry,' Harry apologized on Louis behalf. Fiona waved a dismissive hand at him.

 

'Don't be. Mr. Tomlinson is a very busy man. I have many clients like him and many partners like you,' she told him with a kind, sympathetic smile.

 

'Do you have any more houses for us to see?' Harry asked her wanting to hold a conversation with her to make the situation feel less awkward than it already was.

 

'I do have one more house to show you in Hampstead.' Harry gave her a tight nod and they ended up in awkward silence until Louis came back, pocketing his phone and placing a chaste kiss on Harry's cheek.

 

'I'm really sorry about that. Work is crazy at the moment,' Louis said and Harry wanted to say something about that but decided to keep his mouth shut as he didn't want to spoil their first home hunting experience by not being supportive. Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him close. He could see that Harry was annoyed and he hated that he was ruining this for Harry.

 

'What do you think about this house love?' Louis asked him but Harry pouted because he was feeling rather annoyed with Louis.

 

'What do you think about it?' Harry asked him back and Louis looked at him a little taken aback. He opened his mouth to offer up an opinion about the house but nothing came out. Harry stared at him blankly, hands folded across his chest, waiting. 'You have no opinion about it right because you weren't paying attention. You were busy on the phone.' Louis kept his eyes fixed on Harry but it was Fiona that he addressed.

 

'Can you give us a minute please?'

 

'Of course,' Fiona replied and exited the room.

 

'What's wrong?' Louis asked him and Harry's eyes went wide at Louis' audacity.

 

'What's wrong? Louis, this was supposed to be a time for us to choose our new home but you've been on the phone talking or texting the whole time! You've hardly paid any attention to the houses we have been to see then simply ask me if I like it and go with whatever I say! It doesn't work that way! This is not about me liking our new home. It is about US liking our new home together since we will both be living in it. We should be doing this together!' Louis sighed heavily.

 

'I know Harry and you're right but I left work to.....'

 

'Why did you even leave work early if this was going to happen?' Harry cut him off. He hated that he was getting upset with Louis but he couldn't help it. 'I mean you came home early cos you missed me and wanted to be with me and I really enjoyed that but this Louis, this is important. I want you with me on this please. I know I'm being selfish but I feel like I'm doing this on my own and I want you to be involved in the choosing of our home.' Louis ran a hand through his hair and looked at Harry's disappointed face. He really didn't want to disappoint him and he knew that Harry had been so excited about it and if he were to be honest, the way he was brushing this aside to take care of work, wasn't fair on Harry. Louis leaned closer to Harry and pecked his lips.

 

'You're right. I'm being an asshole and taking this experience away from the both of us.' Louis handed Harry his phone. 'Here, keep it for me.' Harry looked at him in awe.

 

'Seriously?' Louis smiled.

 

'Seriously. Turn it off. You are my happiness not my work. Now, shall we go view our next potential home?' Harry took Louis' phone, turned it off and stuck it into his jeans pocket then wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug.

 

'Thank you. I love you Lou,' he whispered into his neck. Louis smiled and rubbed his back gently.

 

'I love you too baby. There's nothing I won't do for you. Now let's get going before Fiona will charge me for over time.'

 

The drive took a little more than twenty minutes before they were exiting the car again at Hampstead. As Harry looked up at the house, Louis didn't miss the gasp that left his parted his lips and the way his green eyes widened at the magnificent house before them. The house was two stories made up of red and brown bricks. The front door was dark brown oak and it had a white arch and wooden frames framing it as did all the down stairs and upper windows which were all lighted up. To the sides of the house there were nicely trimmed bushes and trees. Fiona smiled at Harry because she could tell that he was already liking the house.

 

'Gentlemen, this is a stunning new built house that spans on 14,358 square feet. As you can see it is situated on a quiet leafy street in the Hampstead Garden Suburb. This property backs into Turners Wood Bird Sanctuary. This majestic house compromises of six bedroom suites and seven bathrooms. The master bedroom consists of a large dressing room along with two en suite bathrooms. The other five bedrooms all offer en suites. There' s a lift with access to all floors, a state of the art cinema room with bar and wine cellar, a gym, a sauna, a steam room, a dedicated treatment and spa room along with generously sized staff quarters. This property also offers a car lift and landscaped gardens and a swimming pool. The property is in the perfect location to enjoy local life whether it is stylish shopping or dining in Hampstead Village or Highgate Street or a peaceful walkout on The Heath. This is a perfect location to start a family and raise children in a homey, comfortable and safe enviornment. Shall we take a look inside gentlemen?' Fiona invited them. Harry and Louis followed her inside the lavish house with its marble entrance, expensive furniture and chandeliers, black doors lining the long hallway. Harry was enthralled.

 

Fiona took them around into the reception rooms and family rooms with couches and huge televisions hanging on the walls along with paintings and black furniture, cream colored carpets and curtains. All the doors in the rooms led on to the landscaped gardens beyond. Harry remained mute with his mouth hanging open as Louis asked Fiona a lot of questions about the house, getting more information about the property. This time Louis was taking the lead.

 

Fiona led them into a huge kitchen with black and white cabinets, stain less steel appliances and a long white island in the middle of the room and a breakfast table to the side, a huge window overlooking the gardens. From the kitchen they walked into the adjacent dining room that hosted a large white marbled top table that seated twelve people with black chairs and white cushions, another large window over looking the gardens and pool. Louis was in deep conversation with Fiona as Harry just gaped at everything and let Louis lead him by the hand.

 

Fiona led them back into the foyer that hosted a curving staircase that led upstairs and another staircase that led downstairs. Fiona walked to the stairs that led downstairs but Louis stopped, Harry bumping into him at the abruptness of Louis' stopping in his tracks so suddenly. Louis looked at the stairs leading below the house.

 

'Is that a basement?' he asked Fiona with dread in his voice. Harry squeezed his hand gently, letting him know he understood his concerns. Louis did not want another house with a basement! On that they had both agreed on. Fiona gave him a smile.

 

'No. This is where the cinema, the games room and cellar are. This house has no basement but it does host a rather huge attic which can be turned into rooms of your desire.' Louis sighed in relief and followed Fiona down to the lower floor and into the cinema and wine cellar. Fiona led them to the lift and they went up to the top floors and she took them through the huge bedrooms, bathrooms and dress rooms. Finally, she took them down to the gym, spa room and out into the gardens and pool. Harry could hardly breathe at the beauty of the house. He idly wondered at what price this house was going at. Fiona left them alone out in the gardens which were lighted by lamps and everything glowed and was peaceful. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'Do you like it?' he asked Harry not looking at him but keeping his gaze on the rolling gardens before him.

 

'Its beautiful,' Harry said. 'But its too big for us Louis. We don't need all of this.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Thinking of your bohemian flat in Camden again?' Harry gave him a small one shouldered shrug.

 

'Still on my mind and in my mind its still the better option,' he said quietly. The garden was so peaceful. Dusk had now fallen and even though it was mid January and winter, rendering the garden barren of leaves and flowers, Harry could imagine how it would bloom in the summer with green lawns and trees full of leaves and flowerbeds everywhere. He could easily imagine himself planting roses and peonies and daffodils and sunflowers. Louis watched him intently trying to read his far away expression.

 

'Tell me what you're thinking?' Louis asked him. Harry turned himself and stood facing Louis.

 

'What I'm thinking is that we don't need all of this Louis. We have been looking at huge expensive houses and we don't need all of this.'

 

'Harry, why are you having second thoughts? What's scaring you? Talk to me.' Harry gulped. He looked away from Louis, choosing his words carefully because he didn't want to sound ungrateful or as if he was expecting more from Louis. He knew where he stood with him!

 

'Louis, we are looking at houses that are fit for a big family. Houses that....' Harry paused and looked at Louis, his eyes soft. 'Houses that are meant for big families with....with children. It's just going to be you and I Louis. I have no family to come over and you don't either. Well, you do but they..... I mean my point is....these big houses, yeah they are nice especially this one, its like divine and I love it but is it worth it just for the two of us? I mean, I don't want to live separate from you in such a big house.'

 

Louis understood what Harry was saying and he felt his unexpressed longing in his words, his desire for a huge family, for kids and pets and Louis hated himself for not being able to give all of it to Harry. Louis caressed his cheek with the back of his hand.

 

'Harry even if it will be just you and I, we can still make a home in a big ass house like this. If you like it, we can get it. If you don't, we can view some more. I think this house is beautiful and it will be full of people. Judy will be here. And Leonard and Angus. And if any people from your home town visit us, well there will be space for them here. Not to mention we can do a lot of entertaining here. And we can snuggle in our own home cinema downstairs and watch movies together. Baby, you and I can make a home together.' Harry gave him a small smile and kissed his lips but Louis could see and feel Harry's longing and desire for a larger family.

 

'That's true. I'm sorry I just....sometimes I get silly.' Louis pulled him in for a hug and he held him tightly because he was not going to let Harry feel silly simply because he wanted marriage and kids and he was unable to give them to him.

 

'You're not silly honey. You are such a sensitive soul with the kindest heart ever and I want to give you the world if you only let me.'

 

Just not marriage and kids. That's a bit ironic even for you!

 

Harry hugged him back tighter. 'You already gave me the world. You gave me you.' And Louis wanted to cry because Harry was out of this world. He was a miracle! Louis kissed his cheek and pulled back.

 

'Let's go and see what Fiona is asking for this house shall we?' Harry nodded and let Louis take his hand and lead him back inside through the gym and into the beautiful kitchen where Fiona was talking on the phone. She hung up when they both walked in.

 

'How much is this house going for?' Louis asked her.

 

'Seventy five million,' Fiona told him and Harry gasped so loudly that he choked on his own spit and burst into a fit of coughing. Louis was quick to pat him on the back.

 

'Easy there,' Louis told him and Harry looked at him with wide watery eyes from all his coughing and shook his head. Louis knew instantly what he meant. He looked at Fiona as Harry regained some control of himself.

 

'Can I call you back?' Louis told her. She smiled at him.

 

'Of course but if you are interested I suggest you don't wait too long to place an offer. I have a long list of potential clients to view this house.' Louis nodded and they all walked outside. They shook hands with Fiona who left in a company car that had come to pick her up. Louis and Harry got in the Bentley and Angus started the drive back towards Chelsea.

 

'Are you alright?' Louis asked him. Harry had stopped coughing and looked at Louis.

 

'Don't you even think about it,' he said.

 

'Harry, if you like it....'

 

'No I don't!' Harry was quick to say. Louis chuckled.

 

'Its because of the price isn't it?'

 

'Its outrageous!' Harry spat.

 

'Baby I can afford it!'

 

'No!' Harry stopped him. 'I mean it Louis.' Louis nudged him playfully.

 

'But you liked it. I saw how you looked out over the garden all dreamily with stars in your eyes. Bet you were imagining all the flowers you would plant.'

 

'Louis I honestly mean it. I don't want to live there,' Harry stated firmly. Louis nudged him again.

 

'Bet I could change your mind hmm?' Harry gave him what he hoped was a stern glare.

 

'Not this time. Please Louis let it go. We'll look at other houses. It...it makes me uncomfortable...its...its too expensive.' Louis hugged him and kissed his forehead.

 

'Alright if you say so.' Harry snuggled into him.

 

'Thank you.'

 

 

x

 

 

Over the course of the next few days, Harry and Louis continued to look at houses but so far nothing had actually felt like it could be home but Harry was optimistic that sooner or later they would find their home.

 

Harry was now comfortable driving the Rover to school given that no more "accidents" had happened to the Rover in the past few days and he was glad that he was some what being left alone and that the hurtful words and insults were lessening. It had been a quiet week and today he was looking forward to meeting up with Niall and Liam after lectures and they were going for coffee together to catch up. Zayn couldn't make it because he was needed at Garland's early due to some new strippers coming in for an audition and Adam needed his help and opinions in choosing the best ones for the job. Harry met Niall and Liam by the front doors of the Uni and together they walked across campus towards the parking lot, chatting and laughing together. Harry pulled out his car keys from the front pocket of his backpack.

 

'Shit mate,' Niall said. 'You have a flat. Not one actually.' Niall looked up at Harry with wide blue eyes. 'Harry all your tires are flat.' Harry froze. He didn't move an inch.

 

No no no no no no not again please please not again. It's been so quiet and so peaceful. Please not again.

 

Harry ran a hand through his curls and swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry.

 

'Harry are you alright?' Liam asked him when he saw him grow pale. Harry wanted to scream and cry.

 

'Mate there's a flyer on your windscreen,' Niall pointed out but Harry seemed to be gazing into space so Niall pulled it off from beneath the wiper. He looked at it and his face blanched. Niall passed the flyer to Liam who gasped in shock. The flyer read : WATCH YOUR BACK SLUT! Liam took it from Niall with shaky hands.

 

'Harry,' he said barely above a whisper, 'what is this? What's going on?' Harry pulled himself out of his shock and looked at Liam who was handing him the piece of paper with the horrible threat written on it in black capital letters. Harry's eyes went wide as he read the words. So he hadn't been wrong and imagining things! His suspicions had been on point! Somebody was doing this to him on purpose! He tugged at his hair in frustration.

 

'This can't be happening to me. This can't be happening. Not now. Not now. Not when we are happy and and no this...this....no,' he choked out as hot tears blurred his vision. Niall wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

 

'Hey hey calm down. Its alright. Here sit down.' Niall helped lower a trembling Harry on to the curb. Both Liam and Niall sat on the curb beside him, one on each side of him.

 

'Harry what's going on?' Liam asked him. Harry shook his head.

 

'It's...it happened before. Someone broke my side view mirror. I-I thought it was an accident though it clearly wasn't but I-I didn't want to believe it. Now the tires!'

 

'Someone is threatening you?' Niall asked him clearly alarmed at Harry's confession. Harry looked at him with teary eyes because he really needed to talk to someone about this. He couldn't hold it inside any longer.

 

'Ever since I got back here....the insults, the sneers, the gossip, the...the bullying has been relentless. They call me names....slut, whore, freak, boy toy, gold digger.....they make comments about my....' he gulped because he couldn't speak. His throat felt thick and swollen and it hurt to speak.

 

'About what Harry?' Liam pushed him gently. Harry wiped his eyes.

 

'Comments about my....my fetish. About me being with Louis. About me being his sub ....all that and I can't....I just...now all this....its too much.' Niall rubbed his back trying to calm him down. He looked at Liam over Harry's bent form.

 

'What did Louis say to all this?' Niall asked him. Harry shook his head.

 

'I-I haven't told him,' he admitted.

 

'Harry no,' Liam said a little disappointed. 'You can't possibly keep something like this from him. You two are in a better place right now. You can't keep secrets from Louis especially not one like this where someone is threatening you. You need to tell Louis and call the police.' Harry looked at Liam with a horror stricken look that made Liam's heart ache.

 

'He can't know Li. He- he has so much going on right now. He's so stressed and the last thing he needs is me being a drama queen. Please you can't tell him. He musn't know. This will stop. They- they will get tired of calling me names. The novelty will wear off and I-I will get used to it and it won't bother me. I- I can handle this. Please, he musn't know. I can't put him under any more stress. And if I involve the police, it will be in the papers and that's not something Louis can handle right now.' Niall and Liam exchanged a worried glance.

 

'Harry, what Louis won't handle is you getting hurt! This is not just school ground bullying. Someone is threatening you,' Liam explained to him. 'They practically told you to watch your back. If you tell Louis he....'

 

'No!' Harry nearly shrieked out. 'No please he can't know. I will fix this. I will take care of it.'

 

'How?' Niall asked. Harry tugged at his hair again.

 

'I don't know. I need to have the tires changed first. I have money to get them done. Please just help me get the tires changed.' Again, Liam and Niall exchanged worried glances. They knew it was not a good idea at all to keep this from Louis. Someone could seriously hurt Harry!

 

'Alright look,' Liam said, always the voice of reason. 'Just to make this clear, I am against you keeping this from Louis but I'm pretty sure you have your reasons so for the time being, I will go along with your wishes but Harry, the moment it gets worse, I will tell him and I will be watching you like a hawk. First let's get the car fixed. Zayn has a friend who has a tow truck and he's a mechanic. I'm pretty sure he can service us on short notice. I'll give him a ring.' Harry nodded as he chewed the skin around his thumb. Liam made the call as Niall held him. When Liam hung up, he looked at Harry.

 

'He can do it. He will be here in fifteen minutes to tow your car to his shop which is in Bromley. We need to take the tube there though.' Harry nodded as Liam and Niall both crushed him into a tight hug.

 

X

 

Half an hour later, they were standing in a car shop in Bromley just off the High Street and Harry was explaining to Zayn's friend Clayton, that he needed the exact same brand of tires that the Range Rover had. He couldn't have Louis notice that the tires where different. Clayton told him that it might take a while because he didn't stock up on that brand of tires as they were the expensive kind. He informed Harry that they cost two hundred pounds each and Harry gulped because this was going to cost him a lot but it was better than having Louis know about all of this. Harry told Clayton to do it and while Clayton worked on the car, Harry, Liam and Niall went to a small coffee shop and had tea. They asked Harry endless questions about what was happening to him at University and Harry tried to answer all of them the best he could but despite their please to let Louis in on what was going on, Harry remained resolute in not wanting to tell him.

 

After about an hour, Harry received a text from Clayton, informing him that the car was ready. Harry sprinted from his seat in the cafe and hurried over to the shop. The new tires where the same and Harry sighed in relief.

 

'Harry,' Niall told him gently. 'He's going to notice that they are new.' Harry rubbed his forehead.

 

'Yeah I know. He's not stupid. I'll-I'll think of something. I-I just need to get back yeah. Come on, I'll drive you guys home then I need to get back home.' They nodded and after Harry paid Clayton and deleted his number and message from his phone just in case, he drove them both home then headed off home, his mind worried about all that had happened. He parked the Rover on the street in front of their house and went inside. He didn't stop in the kitchen for tea and a chat with Judy like he usually did but went straight up to his and Louis' bedroom. He sat on the bed and pulled out the note that had been left on his windscreen under the wiper. Who was doing this to him? Why? He never hurt anyone. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Why was his life their business? He took in a deep breath trying to calm himself. Louis couldn't see him in this state. He folded the note and hid it in one of his binders then pulled out his phone and texted Louis.

 

[FromHarry] :

I'm home. Miss you so much. Have a surprise for you. Can't wait till you get home <3 xx

 

He hit send then went into the bathroom, closed the door and had along hot shower, trying to wash away the horrible events of the last few hours and push away the scary thought that someone had it out for him this bad that they would slash the tires on Louis' car that he was driving and threaten him. He shuddered at the thought that someone was out to hurt him and though every fiber of his being was screaming at him to tell Louis, he just couldn't. It would put much more stress on Louis and he couldn't distract him from his important work with some petty threat.

 

Harry got out of the shower, towel dried himself and quickly got dressed. He plopped down on to their bed, pulled out his Mac book and started working on his assignments, figuring that if he delved into his work all this would go away. He plugged in his ear buds, tapped play on his Troye Sivan playlist and began working.

 

X

 

 

He was so lost in his music and work that he didn't hear the bedroom door open or Louis step inside the room until Louis touched his shoulder and made his jump.

 

'God Louis you scared the shit out of me!' Harry gasped, placing his hand on his racing heart as he pulled his ear buds out of his ears. Louis sat down on the bed beside him. He leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips.

 

'I'm sorry sweetheart. I did call out your name but you didn't hear me,' Louis told him as he kissed him again. Harry removed the lap top off his lap and crawled on to Louis' lap, wrapped his arms around his shoulders, buried his face in his neck and hugged him tightly.

 

'I missed you,' Harry whispered. Louis hugged him back equally tight.

 

'I missed you too baby,' he told him, placing kisses on the side of his neck. Harry kept gripping him tightly while Louis rubbed his back, rocking them slightly. 'Are you alright?' Louis asked him. 'Judy told me that you came straight up here after Uni and didn't go to the kitchen for tea and cookies. I think she missed you. Are you not feeling well Harry?' Harry shook his head while he kept his face buried in Louis' neck, inhaling his scent; a mix of expensive cologne, sweat, manly musk and cigarettes. Louis disengaged Harry's arms from around him and pushed him back a little until he was looking into his face.

 

'Are you sure you're not sick?' he asked him again.

 

'I'm fine,' Harry told him. 'I just have a lot of work to catch upon.' He pecked Louis' lips. 'I have a surprise for you.' Louis smiled.

 

'What?' he asked him a little excited. Harry chewed on his bottom lip because he knew he was going to lie to Louis and dig himself into a deeper hole than he already was.

 

'I changed the tires on your Rover,' he told him, not daring to look into his eyes because if he did, Louis would see the lie.

 

'Honey why did you? They were perfectly fine.' Harry shrugged.

 

'They needed changing. I um went to Zayn's friend and he um did them for me. I had to um like wait an hour but I was with Liam and Niall having tea so yeah.' Louis cupped his face in his hands and kissed his lips tenderly.

 

'Thank you. That was very nice of you.' And Harry felt sick to his stomach for lying to Louis so blatantly to his face but he could see the stress on him from this stupid merger and he knew, just knew that he couldn't drop this on his shoulders too. He was an adult and he would take care of his business. He would not add any more to Louis' stress. Louis smiled at him and and tapped his hip.

 

'Up. Come on its after nine already. Judy is setting dinner and I'm starving and you look like you need an early night.' Harry slid off of him but was quick to slip his hand into Louis'.

 

'I don't want to sleep early. I hardly saw you today,' Harry told him not wanting to make Louis feel like he was whining about him being late again. Louis sighed.

 

'I'm so sorry love. I am so close to closing this deal and if I do, the benefits for my company will be so big. As soon as this kicks off and I start seeing the profits, I will employ more people to my new company Harry which will allow me more free time. Then I'm all yours I promise. No more early mornings and late nights working. I will go back to working from ten till four that's all. I promise you baby. Just be a little patient with me.' Harry nodded because it was all he could do without crying. He squeezed Louis' hand and together they walked downstairs for dinner.

 

 

X

 

 

The next day, Louis was at the office before seven in the morning. He had Angus drive him before Judy or Leonard were even up yet. He sent Angus to get him some coffee and breakfast from Starbucks which he ate at his desk while working on the last details of the contracts for the merger. He wanted to close the deal and today he decided will be the day to do that. He will not hear anymore negotiations. He will not hear anymore excuses. Either they were in on his terms or they were out. Last night while Harry had fallen asleep on his chest, Louis had lain awake and thought of alternatives should they decline his offers. He had come up with a backup solution and he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before.

 

He was major share holder of Fairchild Industries. He knew that Edgar and Charles Fairchild would not turn down his offer to merge their company with his. Despite the fact that he was the major share holder of the company and he could merge with or without Edgar and Charles' consent, he didn't want to do that to them. He was very fond of them and treated them like family. But still, they were the back up plan if all of this failed. He just wanted to get this over and get done with it. Set it in motion and get back to dedicating his time and energy to Harry. Which reminded him that it was Harry's twenty first birthday in two weeks and he had to do something special for him. As far as a gift went, he already knew what he was getting him. All that was left was to plan something special to do on his special day.

 

He made a mental note to call Harry at eight thirty just to wish him a good morning and greet him into the new day. Lynn was coming in at eight so they could go over the contracts again and last minute details so they could have everything prepared for the meetings later today. For once in a long while, Louis felt organized and in control. He felt on top of everything and that made him feel good.

 

True to her word, Lynn was in by eight as were the mail boys from the mail room who were going round distributing mail to their allocated places. A knock on Louis' door cut his and Lynn's work short.

 

'Yes,' he called out a little irritated. He was getting a lot done and he didn't want to be interrupted. The door opened and one of the mail boys peeked his head in the door.

 

'Good morning Sir. Got your mail and newspapers,' he told him with a cheerful smile. Louis smiled at the boy.

 

'Thank you,' he told him as the boy walked in and put Louis' mail on his desk then left quickly, wishing them both a good day. Louis looked at his watch.

 

'Lynn its almost eight thirty. Can you be a dear and get me some coffee while I make a phone call please?' Lynn nodded and left the office to get him his coffee as Louis dialed Harry's mobile number and while he waited for Harry to reply, he began unfolding the newspapers.

 

'Good morning,' Harry's groggy sleepy voice said through the phone and Louis' heart leaped.

 

'Good morning sleepy head,' Louis told him with a smile.

 

'I missed you again this morning. Why didn't you wake me?' Harry told him. Louis shuffled the newspapers about.

 

'You were sleeping too peacefully for me to wake you. I didn't have the heart. I did kiss you goodbye though and......' Louis paused and froze as he unfolded The Sun. His blood stopped flowing through his veins.

 

'Lou,' Harry called softly but Louis wasn't hearing. All the could see where the pictures and the headlines. His phone slipped from his hand and fell to the floor with a thunk, disconnecting his call with Harry. He picked up the newspaper with trembling hands and stared at the pictures of him and Ryan in the basement garage in this very building. Ryan on his knees before him and he holding the belt. Ryan bent over the hood of his car naked from the waist down and he bending over him also naked from the waist down, their private parts blurry, his trousers pooling around his ankles. And the headlines, screaming out loud and bold : CEO LOUIS TOMLINSON IN SEX ACT WITH STRIPPER IN UNDERGROUND GARAGE AT TGE!

 

No! This wasn't real! This hadn't happened! What the fuck was even going on? None of this ever happened! How did this even happen? How did all this even end up on the tabloids? He read a smaller headlines beneath the offensive lying headlines : Professional stripper Ryan Rodriguez reveals how CEO Louis Tomlinson of Tomlinson Global Enterprises engaged him in sexual BDSM play.

 

Louis slammed the newspaper down on his desk and put his face between his hands just as his phone began to ring. It was Harry calling him. Harry! Harry couldn't see this! Louis began to panic because if Harry saw this before he could explain.....No! He had to get home. He had to get to Harry before Harry saw the newspaper or went on Twitter! Louis felt himself on the verge of tears because this was going to kill Harry and how could he explain that it was all bullshit? That none of it was true! He knew the pictures weren't true but they looked real enough and he had to convince Harry that they were not real. He couldn't lose him, he just couldn't. Not to a lie!

 

Louis grabbed his jacket and phone and dashed out of the office just as Lynn was coming in with his coffee.

 

'Lynn I have to go. Its an emergency. Cancel everything,' he told her as he rushed towards the elevators.

 

'But Sir the merger....'

 

'I don't give a fuck about the merger right now Lynn. I-I have to get home to Harry. I need to get to him.' The elevator opened and he stabbed the down button repeatedly. He called Angus to have the car out front ready to go. The elevator rode down slowly, Beethoven's 'Romanza' playing softly and Louis wanted to scream.

 

'Come on come on please hurry the fuck up,' he said to the empty elevator, his mind running round in circles as how he was supposed to explain all this to Harry. Fucking Ryan! He didn't need this right now and Harry....God Harry couldn't go through this. Louis wanted to cry because he had been faithful and loyal to Harry and now this piece of shit was out to destroy him and to destroy Harry.

 

The elevator dinged open out on to the still fairly empty lobby of his building. He ran towards the glass doors and out on to the Plaza where Angus was waiting with the car door open for him. Louis slid in and as soon as Angus was behind the wheel, Louis told him:

 

'Angus home. Now. Step on it!' Angus nodded and sped towards his boss's home but making sure to not exceed the speed limit. Angus got him there in just ten minutes and even before Angus had time to pull up the hand brake, Louis was out of the car and rushing inside. He took the stairs two at a time and entered the bedroom to find Harry still in bed. Harry turned to look at the intrusion, startled.

 

'Louis!' he exclaimed, clearly caught off guard. 'What are you doing here? I was trying to call you.....' Louis sat on the bed, putting the newspaper on the night stand and cupped Harry's face between his cold and clammy hands and looked at him with desperation.

 

'Harry, I-I love you, you know that right?' he asked him, his voice wavering because he really didn't want to hurt Harry but he was going to. He was going to make him cry and he couldn't stop it.

 

'Of course I do. What's wrong Louis? You're worrying me.' Louis licked his lips nervously.

 

'I'm about to show you something but please remember that I love you so much and please remember that you love me too. Can you do that? Promise me that you will remember.' Harry felt fear knotting up his stomach. Louis looked terrified and it made Harry scared.

 

'Yes Louis. Yes, I promise. What is it? Tell me.' Louis swallowed thickly and Harry could see that his hands were shaking. Louis reached for the newspaper, handed it to Harry and braced himself. Harry opened the newspaper and gasped loudly when he saw the pictures of Louis with Ryan. He looked up at Louis with tears in his eyes, his lower lip trembling and Louis died inside.

 

'Harry,' Louis whispered but Harry just kept looking at him with those big pleading eyes, full of tears and hurt and pain and Louis couldn't stand it. 'Please say something,' Louis pleaded. Harry let out a soft sob.

 

You're hurting him again.

 

'Why?' he whispered.

 

'Harry that didn't happen. That's not what happened,' Louis began as he tried to justify those horrid pictures to Harry.

 

'You met up with him?' Harry asked him, his tone accusatory.

 

'Yes...no...I mean.....'

 

'Which is it Louis?' Harry asked him as he pushed the duvet off him and got out of bed. He paced the room still holding the newspaper. 'Which is it? Did you or didn't you?' Harry asked him, his voice rising. Louis stood up and faced him. He rubbed his sweaty palms together. His anxiety was sky high.

 

You are breaking him again.

 

'He was in my garage at work. He came out of nowhere......'

 

'And it ended in this!' Harry yelled shoving the newspaper towards Louis. Louis flinched at Harry's loud booming voice.

 

'Harry no it didn't. I wouldn't cheat on you. I wouldn't touch another man.....

 

'Louis!' Harry nearly screamed as the tears fell from his eyes. 'You are both naked from the waist down. You are bending over him!!! These are pictures of YOU fucking HIM on the hood of YOUR car! Why? Why would you do this to me?'

 

You are making him suffer again. Look at him! He's in pieces.

 

'Harry Harry sweetheart,' Louis told him, his voice frantic as he reached out to him, trying to calm him down because he could see how agitated Harry was becoming. Harry moved away from him.

 

'Don't touch me!' Harry sobbed. Louis put his palms up indicating to Harry that he wasn't going to touch him.

 

'Baby listen to me please. Do you think so little of me that you would think that I'd do this to you? To YOU? YOU of all people? Don't you trust me at all after all we have been through?' Louis pleaded. Harry seemed to be considering his words as he wiped his eyes. Then he pinned Louis with a look that was both hard but at the same time full of pain and betrayal.

 

'Did you need one of your boys again? Is this what this is? Is it Lou? Are we going back to that again? Am I not enough?'

 

'No Harry no I swear to God its not it. All this is fake I swear to you. I don't know what Ryan is playing at but this is all photo shopped. It's not what happened. He-he came to my work place to- to ask me to take him back and I said no. I told him to leave and that I have you now. I swear to you baby. I would never do this to you please believe me,' Louis begged him, his voice soft and pleading. Louis watched Harry who was struggling with all of this, who was hurting at his hands yet again and who was crying because of him once again.

 

Disarm yourself. Make yourself vulnerable to him. You owe it to him. Fall at his feet if you must.

 

Louis took a tentative step towards Harry but Harry took three steps back away from him, his large confused wet eyes staring at Louis. Louis didn't want this! He didn't want this to happen to them again! This was nothing but lies and it was tearing a rip in their happiness and it was hurting his baby.

 

'Harry,' Louis said, keeping his voice soft and free of anger. 'Harry please know me. I need you to know me now more than ever. Know deep down in your heart that I would never ever hurt you this way. I would never jeopardize what we have for that piece of trash. Why would I throw what we are building away for someone who doesn't even matter to me? I would never hurt your beautiful heart for him. Please baby, I beg you, know me now when I need you to the most. Trust me. Trust IN me that I would never do this to you. Please?' Harry looked at him with tears falling from his eyes and Louis knew, he knew that Harry wanted to believe him but the evidence on the newspaper was making him have doubts and Louis couldn't really blame him. If those were pictures of Harry with somebody like that, Louis knew he would've already busted a vein and he would be in Harry's exact position so no, he really couldn't blame Harry for doubting him.

 

And then Louis felt himself coming undone. He felt himself losing his control as if he was stitched together by invisible threads and they were being snipped loose and he was coming undone, falling apart, all his control leaving his body. He felt his knees buckle and he fell to his knees in front of Harry. He adopted the submissive position that he had instilled on his boys and Harry so many times before but now, here he was, on his knees, sitting back on his heels, head bowed, eyes lowered and his hands folded in his lap in front of the person who owned him wholly mind, body and soul. At that precise moment, Louis was giving over to Harry all of his control.

 

'I submit to you Harry,' Louis said in a quiet voice and he heard Harry take in a sharp intake of breath. 'You have control of me. You always have. Since the first day I met you, you have had control over me.'

 

'Louis no,' Harry whispered brokenly and in a flash he was kneeling in front of him, their foreheads touching. Louis was calm but crying softly while Harry was having a grade A melt down. He cupped Louis' face in both his large hands.

 

'No control,' Harry whispered. 'I don't want to control you. Please get up. You have been down on your knees for most of your life. Don't do this. Please Louis get up.' Harry tugged at Louis' hands wanting him to get up from his submissive position because this did not suit him! This was not Louis. Louis remained silent just sobbing softly.

 

'Louis please, you have been a submissive all your life at the hands of others. You will not be my sub. I will never control you. Never! I don't want you on your knees, not for me or for anybody else.' Harry stood up suddenly towering over Louis and helped him up. Louis let him. Harry led him to the bed and they sat down close to each other in silence, just Harry's sniffing and Louis' quiet sobbing heard in the quiet bedroom. Louis looked at him, his blue eyes red and wet and he wanted to hug him and to hold him because he was hurting too.

 

'Harry...I didn't...I swear....'

 

'I-I trust you,' Harry whispered. 'I know you. I-I just need a little time to wrap my head around this. Those pictures....they just...it hurts.' Louis sniffed.

 

'I'm going to hug you,' he told him and before Harry replied, Louis wrapped him in his arms, holding him tightly against his chest. He buried his face in his neck. 'I love you Harry. I love you so much. I would never hurt you baby. Never. Not like that. And you are enough. More than enough. You are all I want.' Harry held him equally tightly.

 

'I love you too,' Harry told him. 'I-I don't mean to doubt you but....'

 

'Sh sh sh baby it's alright. I would've probably done worse if the situation was reversed.' Harry scoffed. Harry pulled out of the embrace and looked at Louis.

 

'If it was me in those pictures you would've given me hell already and killed the person with me in the pictures.' Louis gave him a small sad smile because Harry knew how dramatic he could be. 'What does he want Lou? Why is he doing this?' Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'I don't know sweetheart. I need to get my PR team and lawyer on this. This is going to be a hard one to cover up. People will believe it unless I prove that its all fake and right now I really don't need all this negative publicity. Not when I'm on the cusp of signing this huge deal.' Harry could see how worried he was and he was glad that he hadn't dumped his drama on Louis too. Just then Louis' phone rang and he could see that it was an unknown number. He swiped his phone.

 

'Hello,' he said as he took Harry's hand in his and kissed his knuckles.

 

'Louis darling,' Ryan's voice came through the phone making Louis go stiff and shiver at the same time. 'I trust you saw the newspapers? Don't we look gorgeous? We are on Twitter trending with the hash tag CEO SEX SCANDAL! How wonderful is that? Some are saying we look hot as fuck together and we even have a ship name : Rouis. Isn't it cute?' Louis clenched his jaw so hard his teeth hurt. Harry felt Louis squeeze his hand very tightly.

 

'What the fuck do you want Ryan?' Louis growled into the phone. Harry went rigid beside him, his eyes never leaving Louis.

 

'Well,' Ryan said, drawing out the word, 'what I want is pretty simple. I want you to leave that half wit scarecrow you are dating or whatever game it is you are playing with him and be with me. I am the one you deserve to be with not that pitiful boy. Seriously Louis, I thought you had more taste in men. I mean he's not even a man. He's just a boy.' Louis chuckled humorlessly, more of a disgusted snort.

 

'You are out of your fucking mind!' Louis spat at him.

 

'To be honest I don't know what you ever saw in him. I mean he's like all gangly and he looks like a baby giraffe trying to walk on ice. Louis, he is so not your type. I mean, does he let you give it to him rough like you pound into me or does he cry and tell you to go slow because it hurts?' Ryan giggled and that angered Louis. How fucking dare he?

 

'Shut your fucking mouth you piece of shit,' Louis yelled into the phone, avoiding saying anything in front of Harry that would lead on that the conversation was actually about him. Ryan's words were hurting Louis and if Harry heard them, they would break him.

 

'Well I told you what I want now its up to you. I just want you Louis. I want Us. I want to be seen on your arm. I want to be your partner. I have had newspapers and magazines calling me for exclusive interviews about us. They want to know all the juicy details and you know I have plenty of that. I won't hesitate to tell them all about your little secret and if I do, you know what that means right? Harry's confession about what you did to him will come out as the lie that it is and that he lied under oath to protect you and that you both worked together on it to save your ass. Your case will be opened again and it will be taken to court after they hear what I have to say and maybe what a few of your other boys could disclose too. Harry will be in big trouble for lying under oath, maybe even get a few months in the kip and you wouldn't want your boy inside now would you? Somebody might make him his prison wifey! So, Louis darling, if I were you, I would send that baby boy packing so I can move in today rather than tomorrow.'

 

'You signed an NDA you scum. You say one fucking word.....'

 

'I'd watch your tone and threats if I were you. This call is being recorded. Tick tock Louis. I'm waiting. Talk to you soon darling.' The line went dead.

 

'Dammit! Fuck!' Louis cursed.

 

'What did he say? What does he want?' Harry asked him panicked when he saw how angry Louis was but Louis looked at him, all anger seeping out of him and he took his hand once again and placed a kiss in his palm.

 

'Don't worry sweetheart. He just wants money and he's threatening to expose the NDA I made him sign,' Louis told him, not wanting to tell him the truth because the truth would just kill Harry and he really didn't want Harry to leave him to save his ass yet again. Because Louis knew that Harry would do the right thing if he knew what Ryan wanted and he would never allow anyone to expose Louis' secret. Harry held his secrets and Louis knew well enough he would do anything to protect him. Besides, he didn't want Harry to feel inferior and less than good for him if he told him what Ryan had said about him. Louis pecked his lips. 'Don't you worry about it yeah. I got this. I'll fix it baby.

 

 

X

 

 

Louis paced the bedroom feeling like a caged bull. This just wasn't happening. Harry sat on the bed and watched Louis pace as he felt his whole world collapsing around him. Too much was happening and he needed a mental break. Louis' ringing phone broke the silence. Louis swiped it.

 

'Yes Lynn,' he said trying to control himself and not snap at his executive assistant who was managing the whole deal in his absence and doing a good job of it. Louis listened to her than looked at his watch. 'Alright I will be in my study. I will take the conference call there. Lynn, have the documents ready. They agree or disagree to my terms, either way this deal closes today. Thank you Lynn.' Louis hung up and turned to Harry.

 

'I have a video conference call in twenty minutes. I am closing the deal today.' Harry looked at him.

 

'Aren't you going back to work to do this?' Louis ran a hand through his hair.

 

'No Harry I'm staying here with you and sort out this whole mess.' Harry looked down feeling a little guilty because in his mind he had already decided that he needed to get out of the house.

 

'I-I am going to my lectures,' he said softly and Louis was surprised.

 

'You don't want to stay here? With me?' Louis asked him, feeling a little disappointed and uncomfortable that Harry was leaving to go to Uni at a time when he felt that they should be together.

 

'I can't afford to miss classes,' Harry said and Louis nodded even though he felt that it was just an excuse. Louis could understand if Harry needed time away from him.

 

'Alright,' Louis told him softly as he caressed his cheek. He felt sad but he couldn't make Harry stay. 'I'll be in the study. Come say goodbye before you go yeah.' Harry nodded. Louis placed a kiss on top of his head and left their bedroom. When Harry was alone, he sighed heavily, not liking the knot that had settled in his stomach. He looked at the pictures again and felt tears rim his eyes. Why did this have to happen and shatter their bubble of happiness? He got up and headed into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him.

 

Twenty minutes later, Harry headed downstairs dressed in his plain ripped jeans, a grey hoodie and jacket. He went into Louis' study to find him sitting at his desk in front of the laptop talking. Louis motioned for him to come in. Harry did, closing the door quietly behind him, not wanting to disturb Louis. He sat down in the chair opposite the desk and watched Louis.

 

'Look, this is my final offer. Those are my terms take it or leave it. If you take it, the contracts are already drawn up so all you have to do is sign. If you don't, well then I have another company that's interested and I can move on to them. Either way, this deal closes today so its up to you. I am done dilly dallying with negotiations and uncertainties on your behalf. Tomlinson Global is determined to go ahead with this project and if you will not take it, I am sure the other company will. So you have till noon today to give me the final word. Please contact my EA with your decision. Thank you for your time.' Louis disconnected the call, got up from his chair and walked over to Harry.

 

'All done?' Louis asked him, not failing to notice that Harry was not wearing any of his designer clothes but was back to his own clothing. Louis decided to ignore it and not let the notion or what it could possibly mean gnaw at his insides. Harry nodded. Louis could tell that Harry was sad. He squatted down in front of him and looked up into his face. 'Please don't be sad. I hate to see you sad. I know I fucked up again though it isn't entirely my fault. Its my fault by association to that piece of shit. I didn't know this would happen Harry.' He kissed his hand. 'Please don't let it get to you. I will fix it I promise.' Harry nodded again but didn't say anything because he felt like if he spoke he would cry. He knew that Louis wasn't lying or cheating on him but it still hurt. Harry made to get up and Louis got out of his way and watched him walk towards the door. Before Harry walked out, Louis asked him :

 

'Will you be long?' Harry closed his eyes briefly because Louis' voice was soft and laced with sadness.

 

'I'm not sure. I-I have a lot of work to catch up on.' Louis nodded, further confirming to himself that Harry needed time away from him. He took in a deep breath and held it before he asked his next question.

 

'Are you leaving me?' Harry pressed his lips together to avoid crying like a baby. He hated making Louis feel insecure but he needed a little time to himself.

 

'No,' he whispered. 'I will come back. I promise.' Louis exhaled in relief.

 

'Alright. See you later then.' Harry left Louis' study and hurried off to leave the house.

 

 

X

 

Harry got in the Rover, started the car and pulled away from the curb. He had no intention of going to University at all. At least not yet. Not before he pulled himself together. He began to drive, not sure where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to be alone. He drove out of the city center and away from the bustle and noise of the traffic. He found himself driving towards Hampstead Heath. He needed the quite and peace of nature. He parked the car just outside the park. It was empty. Harry figured as much since it was just nine in the morning on a weekday. People would be at work and children at school. He welcomed the solitude with open arms.

 

He sat there in the car and looked out over the park with its bare trees, fallen leaves and ice cold looking lake in the middle. Even though it was bare, it was beautiful. Something about the bareness and coldness of the park soothed Harry. He just stared out at the barren empty park, at the branches swaying in the wind until his eyes filled with tears. His breathing picked up, his heart began to beat faster and soon he was full out sobbing, his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with the force of his crying. He needed the release and he allowed himself to have it. He couldn't break down like this in front of Louis and make him feel guilty for something he didn't do. He cried till his chest ached and his throat burned, then he began to slow down, his crying subsiding slowly until he was just sniffing.

 

He pulled out a wad of tissues from the box on the dash board, blew his nose and wiped his eyes. Everything was just collapsing on top of him and he needed to vent it out rather then let it keep growing and building inside of him. He glared at the offending pictures on the newspaper and he realized that he was torn in his beliefs. Part of him told him that they were real, that maybe Louis felt the need for one of his boys again and since he couldn't do any of this at home, he did it at the garage which would explain the early mornings and late nights. His mind was throwing at him many scenarios. How many times had this happened? How many excuses had Louis told him about starting work early or staying late? Was it just for him to engage in past activities with his boys? The other part of him told, the rational part of him told him that the pictures were photo shopped, that Louis would never do this to him because Louis loved him and he had promised he wouldn't cheat on him. He told himself that it was alright to have doubts. The part of him that blindly loved Louis, told him that he was being stupid and ridiculous doubting Louis to do something like this, so reckless as to get himself caught in that act and put in the tabloids. Louis was always so careful of the paps. And Louis would never act so indecent in a public place. Louis always told him to be discreet when they did something in a public place so why he would do this, risking to get caught? Louis was a private person, a discreet very private person. No, this was a set up. The part of him that was still doubting, told him that Louis was a human being with needs that were hard to totally give up and that maybe he slipped because he needed it really bad and now that he had been caught, well he was trying to find a way out and blind Harry even further by telling him that it was all fake. He had told him that he would fix it! By more lies? By paying people to cover it up? Harry beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.

 

'Ugh,' he screamed into the car. 'God why? Why must this keep happening? Why can't I just trust him and believe him? Why?'

 

Because he is who he is and sometimes its hard for people to change.

 

Harry needed to get back to Uni and into the photo lab to test the pictures. He needed to know if they were real or photo shopped. Either way, he needed to know.

 

He pulled down the sun visor and checked his face. His eyes and nose where red and wet but he could blame that on the cold weather. The cold weather did that! He started the car up again and headed towards the university. He had no intention of going to his lectures today. He didn't have enough mind stamina to concentrate on lessons. He just wanted to test out these damn photos if only to kill this nagging doubt inside his head that was making him mad at himself for doubting Louis and he just wanted to shut it up once and for all.

 

Harry parked the Rover in the student parking lot and headed inside. As soon as he stepped into the building, the glares and gossip and whispers began. He could feel their eyes on him. He could hear the hush of their words but he ducked his head down and hurried towards the photo lab. When he got to the door, he stopped short. The pictures from the newspaper where stuck to the door with hurtful words written on them : SLUTS GET CHEATED ON! WHORES ARE USED AND THROWN AWAY. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT TRASH! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE USED? Harry couldn't read the rest of the words because his vision blurred instantly from the tears forming in his eyes. He snatched the photos and ripped them off the door, crumpling them in his fist. He will be damned if he will let them see him cry. He entered the photo lab and he was glad it was empty. He closed the door and rested his back against it, trying to control his racing heart and tears.

 

When he had gathered himself enough, he went to one of the computers and turned it on. He opened his bag and pulled out the newspaper. No sooner had he settled down in the chair ready to work, the door opened and to his surprise Nick stood there, clearly surprised to find him there.

 

'Sorry,' Nick said. 'I-I thought it would be empty.' Harry looked at him and hoped to God that Nick wouldn't give him any shit. He couldn't handle anymore today.

 

'I won't be long,' he said quietly as he waited for the computer to boot. Nick turned to leave but he didn't. He paused in the doorway and turned to look at Harry who sat hunched in on himself at the computer. Nick could tell that he was hurting and had been crying. He closed the door and walked into the room. Harry was shaking and he braced himself for Nick's insults.

 

'How are you?' Nick asked him, his voice gentle. Harry swallowed.

 

'M'fine,' he said because he really couldn't talk due to the thickness in his throat. Nick pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

 

'I saw the newspaper. I'm really sorry Harry,' he said sincerely. Harry looked down and chewed on his bottom lip.

 

'He-he didn't cheat on me,' he said quietly. Nick opened his mouth to say something but Harry looked up at him and the look on his face squeezed Nick's heart. 'Nick, he didn't. I know you don't like him and I know you think I'm a fool but he's being set up. I'm here to find out if those photos where photo shopped.' Nick nodded his head as if lost in his own thoughts but he preferred not to voice them. Harry was in a delicate state.

 

'What if they are real?'

 

'They aren't. I-I trust him. Louis wouldn't do this to me,' Harry said as he looked down again.

 

'Yet here you are checking to make sure,' Nick told him but his voice held no anger or malice. Harry bit his lip hard. Nick sighed heavily. 'Harry, I know about the bullying you are getting. Its harsh and I'm amazed at your strength and will to continue coming here day after day after all they say and do to you. I read the interview you gave to Dan Wootan and I was honest to God surprised down to my marrow because I would have never taken you for....THAT kind of guy. I mean, you are so soft and fragile. I can't see you being tied up and....but whatever that's not the point. Your business is your business. I just want to say I am sorry for being suck a jerk to you in the past. Clearly Louis loves you and you love him and I have to admit that yeah I acted out of jealousy.' Harry snapped his head up and looked at Nick.

 

'You were jealous? Of what?' Nick chuckled.

 

'You are so naïve Harry. Of course I was jealous. I had this massive crush on you for like ever and you never gave me the time of day. I watched you day after day with heart eyes, laughing with me, having fun with me, being your wonderful sweet self. You let me cuddle you and take you out and I thought that maybe well, that maybe you liked me too. And then this asshole comes out of nowhere and sweeps you off your feet you without any effort at all whilst I had been working so hard to get you to like me. Then to rub salt in my wound, you fucking photograph Marc Jacob's models. Like that's my fucking dream job and there you are doing his photographs and ending up on magazines. Then you walk for Marc Jacobs and you took the fashion world by storm in the blink of an eye and you where everywhere...and I knew I had lost you for good. I was so angry at you, at Louis, at your friends for allowing this. I was angry at myself for still pining for you. I was angry at the whole fucking world but then I met Tyler and all that changed. I told him all about you and all my anger and well, I realized how wrong I had been and I came to look for you to make things right but I couldn't find you. Niall told me that you had dropped out of Uni. So here I am apologizing to you for being such a dick and hoping you will forgive me.' Harry's lower lip trembled and next thing he knew he was in Nick's arms. Nick held him tightly.

 

'Of course I forgive you,' he said, his voice thick with emotions. 'I missed you so much Nick.' Nick smiled and rubbed his back.

 

'I missed you too Haz. I am so sorry for all the shit I said to you. You didn't deserve any of it.' Harry snuggled into him loving the feel of his friend, his warmth, his smell.

 

'Its all in the past. We all make mistakes.' Harry pulled back and looked at him, giving him a small smile which Nick returned.

 

'I love your short hair by the way though I miss your long locks but it suits you. You look more....more mature and manly!' Harry laughed.

 

'Manly? Was I not manly with long hair?' Nick grinned at him.

 

'You will always be my little Harry no matter what you do,' Nick told him softly and Harry smiled happily. Nick cleared his throat because he didn't want the situation to get awkward between them. He looked at Harry.

 

'How about I help you with those photos hmm? You might have photographed Marc Jacob's models but when it comes to photo shop I think I'm more advanced then you are,' Nick told him playfully, giving him a wink and a nudge. Harry smiled at him and scooted over, giving Nick access to the computer.

 

'So tell me about Tyler,' Harry told him. Nick smiled a sweet smile as set to work, scanning the newspaper photos into the computer and telling Harry all about his Tyler. Twenty minutes later, Nick rested his back against the chair and pointed to the computer.

 

'Definitely photo shopped. These photos were tampered with. This did not happen at all Harry. Louis did not cheat on you.' Harry smiled at him popping his dimples, his heart soaring.

 

'I knew it,' he said as he leaned over and kissed Nick's cheek. 'Would it be possible to print these out for me please. Louis might need them if he you know, decides to press charges.'

 

'Sure,' Nick told him as he commenced to print out the evidence. When they were done, he put them in an envelope for Harry, which Harry took and stuffed into his backpack.

 

'Can I pay you by buying you a drink?' Harry asked him. Nick gave him a big smile.

 

'Sure but we're taking my car.'

 

x

 

Louis looked at his watch for the millionth time. It was past eight thirty in the evening. Where the hell was Harry? He had called him a few times but his phone went straight to voice mail and Louis was worried. What if Harry had left him again? What if Harry had just gone back to Holmes Chapel? He had called Niall but Niall had told Louis that he hadn't seen Harry all day which was even more worrying because Harry had told him that he would be at University. What was even more worrying was the fact that Niall was worrying about Harry's whereabouts too and had accidentally slipped to Louis about Harry being bullied at Uni. Louis had been shocked to hear it and had asked Niall to tell him all about it and Niall had felt awkward because he knew that Harry hadn't wanted to tell Louis but with these circumstances, Niall was worried that maybe the bullying and the photos in that morning's newspaper had been Harry's breaking point. So Niall had told Louis about the bullying but had kept the slashed tires out of the story.

 

As Louis paced the length of the living room again, dread pooling in his stomach, wondering if he should go out and look for him, his phone rang and he sighed in relief when he saw that it was Harry. He swiped his phone and answered.

 

'Harry oh my God where are you? I've been so worried.'

 

'Um hi Louis its actually Nick,' Nick said into the phone and Louis froze.

 

'What the fuck are you doing with Harry's phone? Where the fuck is Harry?' he growled into the phone.

 

'Hey calm down. I come in peace. I have Harry here with me and I'm calling you because he is a little bit um tipsy? I think you should come and get him.'

 

'Where are you?' Louis snapped at him. Harry drunk? With Nick? The fuck?

 

'Remember the bar we went to for his birthday?'

 

'I'll be there in ten minutes. Take care of him. Anything happen to him I'll have your fucking head.' Before Nick could reply, Louis was already heading out the door and into his car. He cranked up the engine and sped towards the bar Harry was at. Thankfully he made it there pretty quick and as soon as he got out of the car, he saw Nick and Harry sitting outside, Harry looking a little pale, his head resting on Nick's shoulder. Louis felt his blood boil. Nick saw him approaching them before Harry did and ever so gently, he righted Harry and stood up.

 

'He's fine,' Nick told him by way of greeting. Harry looked up at Nick's voice and he saw Louis who was glaring at Nick.

 

'Louis,' he breathed as if in relief. Louis gave him a small smile but quickly diverted his burning gaze on Nick again.

 

'Why the fuck did you let him drink and why are you even with him?' he snapped angrily at him. Nick sighed. This man was so difficult.

 

'Harry is not a child. If he wants a few drinks with a friend who am I to stop him? I don't control him and neither does anybody else. He is his own person,' he told him. He kept his voice light and easy because he wasn't looking for a confrontation with Louis. Louis glared at him. Who the fuck did this prick think he was telling him all this shit as if he knew anything? Nick gave him a small smile.

 

'Harry and I needed to talk. I had a lot of apologizing to do and I took care of him. He's not drunk. He's just tipsy and relaxed.' Nick paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 'I do believe I owe you an apology too. I'm sorry I was such a dick but you moved in on the person I was in love with and had plans to marry. I failed to see that Harry wanted you and I was out of line. The heart wants what it wants. I apologize.' Louis looked at him not really buying this but for the moment he chose to ignore it or simply not think about it because he had other matters on his mind, the first one being getting his boy home and into bed.

 

'Thank you for calling me,' Louis simply told him and Nick nodded. He knew it wasn't going to be easy to get his good intentions through to Louis. Louis helped Harry stand and Harry beamed at him.

 

'Hi,' he slurred and Louis couldn't help but smile at him because Harry's smile was infectious.

 

'Hi yourself. Ready to go home then?' Louis told him sweetly and Harry nodded as he yawned. Louis wrapped his arm around his waist to aid him to the car.

 

'Oh,' Nick said.' You might want to send someone to get the Rover. Its still parked at the Uni student parking lot.' Louis nodded as he helped Harry into the car and buckled his seat belt. Harry rested his head against the cold glass of the window. Louis started the car.

 

'Are you alright? Not going to throw up all over my car are you?' he asked him, a smile on his lips as he pulled out on to the road.

 

'No,' Harry said. 'I'm not totally shit faced you know.' Louis smiled to himself as he manouvered the car in the evening traffic. It didn't take long for Louis to drive them home and once he had parked his car, he helped Harry out and made sure to keep a protective arm around his waist. As he was helping him up the stairs to their bedroom, Judy emerged from the kitchen.

 

'Oh dear Lord Sir, is he sick?' she asked Louis, her tone not hiding her worry and concern for Harry. Harry waved at her.

 

'Hello Judy,' he slurred. Louis chuckled.

 

'No, he's just shit faced.'

 

'Am not!' Harry protested as he pulled his tongue out at Louis. Louis kissed his cheek.

 

'Sure sure,' he told him. 'Judy, can you please send tea and water to our room please. He needs hydration and please tell Leonard I need him. Thank you.' Judy nodded and went about her business as Louis helped Harry to their bedroom. Once there, he closed the door behind them and sat Harry down on the bed. He got down on his knees and commenced to take off his boots and socks.

 

'Come on you minx, let's get you to bed,' Louis told him fondly. Harry smiled and wiggled his toes when they were free of his boots. There was a light tapping on their bedroom door and Louis stood up.

 

'Don't move,' he told Harry. He opened the door and found Leonard holding a tray with tea and water on it. Louis took it.

 

'You wanted to see me Sir?' Leonard asked him.

 

'Yes. I need you to go and get the Rover. Its parked at the student parking lot at the Uni.'

 

'Yes Sir. I will have it parked out front for Harry in the morning.'

 

'Thank you Leonard,' Louis dismissed him. He closed the door again and placed the tray on the dresser then turned back to Harry who was still sitting on the bed swaying a little. Louis walked towards him and when he stood in front of him, he tugged at his shirt.

 

'Up,' he told him. Harry raised his arms and let Louis take off his shirt. Louis realized that for a drunk, Harry was awfully quiet. It was as if Harry was lost in thought even if they were alcohol induced.

 

'How much did you drink?' Louis asked him as he handed him a glass of water. 'Drink.' Harry took a sip.

 

'Um about I think maybe perhaps five no six glasses of wine and three shots I think maybe,' he trailed off. Louis smiled to himself. He was just too adorable.

 

'You think maybe perhaps you could stand up for me so I can take your jeans off?' Harry finished off his glass of water only realizing now how parched he was. He stood up with Louis' help and allowed Louis to unbutton his jeans, unzip it and take it off of him. Harry sighed in relief and flopped back down on the bed.

 

'Did you eat?' Louis asked him. Harry looked up at him, his eyes a little glazed from the alcohol he had consumed, his cheeks where flushed and he was looking at Louis in a way that made his insides melt like hot butter.

 

'I did. Nick bought me dinner and he made sure I ate everything,' he told Louis and Louis felt grateful towards the prick. He leaned down and kissed his forehead.

 

'Good boy. Fancy a cuppa?' Harry nodded and Louis got him a cup of tea which Harry sipped, still lost in thought. Louis sat next to him sipping his own cup and ran his hand up Harry's bare back. He watched his skin break out in goosebumps.

 

'Are you cold?' Louis asked him even though the room was pretty warm. Harry nodded and placed his empty cup on the bedside table. Louis got up and got him a fresh t-shirt and a pair of socks. He put them on him. Harry looked up at him and yawned.

 

'Can we just sleep?' Harry asked him.

 

'Of course love,' Louis told him. He got up and quickly undressed down to his boxers. He pulled back the duvet and helped Harry in, then he turned the lights off and got in behind Harry, spooning him. Harry cuddled back into his chest and placed his hands over Louis that were wrapped around him and resting on his stomach. They were silent and Louis closed his eyes feeling the strain of the day taking its toll on him and pulling him into sleep.

 

'Lou,' Harry whispered.

 

'Hmm?' Louis replied.

 

'This love I feel for you...it...it terrifies me,' Harry murmured.

 

'How so?' Louis said quietly. Harry shuffled in Louis' arms until he turned and was facing Louis. He tangled his legs with Louis' and took hold of his hand. He didn't look into his eyes but kept his gaze on Louis' fingers.

 

'Because I know that no matter what you do to me, I will forgive you. No matter how much you hurt me, I know I will forgive you and that scares me. Just like I knew deep down in my heart that if those pictures were real and you had truly cheated on me, I would've forgiven you regardless.' Louis carded his free hand that Harry wasn't holding though his curls.

 

'You know they are fake then?' Louis asked him. Harry rolled his eyes even though he knew that Louis couldn't see him.

 

'I'm studying to be a photographer Lou. Of course I know a photo shopped picture. I scanned it and analyzed it and yeah they are photo shopped.' Louis continued to run his fingers through Harry's curls.

 

'So you didn't believe me this morning,' Louis told him. Harry shrugged.

 

'I needed to be sure,' he said, his voice low as if he was ashamed of what he had done. Louis sighed.

 

'You still don't trust me completely.' Harry kissed Louis' fingers, one by one, placing a kiss on the tip of each finger, letting his lips trail from one to the other.

 

'I do Lou. But like I told you, this love scares me because I can't be without you so I will forgive you anything.' Louis closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of Harry's body close to him, his legs tangled with his own and his lips on the tips of his fingers.

 

'What if the pictures were real? You can't just say you would've forgiven me,' Louis asked him. Harry looked up at him now and their eyes met in the darkness, the room only illuminated by the moonlight filtering in through the parted curtains.

 

'Maybe not right away,' Harry admitted. 'I have forgiven you for worse haven't I? I mean for you to cheat on me you have to be really cruel to do that and I know that you are not cruel. I know that you love me Louis and I do trust you but temptation sometimes can be hard to resist especially when its one of your boys.' Louis removed his hand from Harry's curls and cupped his cheek, his thumb caressing his face ever so slowly.

 

'Harry, I am not that man anymore. Cheating is not an option for me. Its not even a thought I entertain. I wouldn't dream of touching someone else. You have to believe that. No amount of temptation can get me to cheat on you. If you are scared of the love you feel for me, well I am equally scared of the love I feel for you because I know I can't and won't live without you Harry. This love has consumed me. YOU have consumed me. Baby you have total control of me so I would never do anything that might make you want to leave me. I'm always so scared of fucking up. The thought of you leaving me paralyzes me with terror. I'm changed Harry. You changed me. I'm not who I used to be thanks to you. I honestly truly love you. I am yours please believe that,' Louis told him in a pleading voice. Harry threw his leg over Louis' hip and pulled him closer till they were flush together.

 

'I believe you,' Harry whispered against his lips. 'I believe you and I love you too. So much Louis.' His voice broke a little at the end and Louis crushed his lips to Harry's, kissing him deep and hard. Harry raised his leg further up till it was hitched around Louis' waist. He dug his heel into Louis' bum pulling him even closer. Louis' hand found its way into Harry's curls again and he tugged a little making Harry moan into his mouth. Louis broke the kiss and placed little kisses on Harry's eyelids and nose and cheekbones.

 

'I love you sweetheart,' Louis whispered in between kisses and Harry smiled.

 

'Can I sleep? I'm so sleepy,' Harry told him, his voice already heavy with sleep. Louis smiled and kissed him on the forehead.

 

'Yes baby sleep.' Harry tucked his head under Louis' chin and curled into him, his leg still hitched around Louis' waist.

 

'Goodnight,' Harry murmured as he placed a kiss on Louis' chest.

 

'Goodnight sweetheart,' Louis told him, placing one last kiss on his head. The room went silent, just Harry's deep breathing and soft snores to be heard. Louis held him and felt himself beginning to drift off to sleep when his phone vibrated on the bedside table. He reached for it and saw that it was Leonard calling him. He swiped his phone.

 

'Yes Leonard,' he said quietly into the phone not wanting to wake Harry up.

 

'Sir we have a problem.'

 

'What is it?' Louis asked.

 

'I'm going to send you an attachment.' Louis heard a faint beep and looked at the photo that Leonard had sent him and he froze. It was a photo of the Rover parked at the University. The windscreen was smashed and shattered into fragments. A note was attached to it that read in big black letters : NEXT TIME IT WILL BE YOUR FACE WHORE!

 

'Leonard,' Louis said panicked, 'do not touch the car. Get the police on it right away. I need to know who did this. Someone just threatened Harry and I need to know who the fuck it is right away. Get back to me as soon as possible.'

 

'Yes Sir,' Leonard said and ended the call. Louis felt a shiver course through his body. He hugged Harry tighter to him. Someone was threatening his boy! Someone was out to hurt his precious boy! His boy was in danger and fear clawed inside Louis. Fear that made his blood turn to ice. He pulled Harry closer, holding him tightly. He won't let anyone hurt him. No one! He knew that he would not be getting any sleep tonight.

 

PLEASE PROCEED TO CHAPTER 30.............


	30. Learning To Forgive And To Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the other chapter and as promised here is chapter 30.....I know you will be curious as to what happens next. Enjoy and thank you for supporting this wee fic of mine.  
> All the love, M.

Learning To Forgive and To Compromise.

 

 

Harry woke up to yet another empty bed which was no surprise. He cracked open his eyes and groaned at the headache that pounded behind his eyes. His mouth was dry like sand paper and he desperately needed a drink of water. He rolled onto his back, his arm absentmindedly resting on Louis' cold side of the bed. Harry hated waking up to an empty bed but he understood that Louis was a busy man. He reached for his phone but it wasn't on his bedside table which was odd. He always left his phone on the bedside table. There was no note from Louis this morning greeting him into the new day. Harry needed water. And paracetamol. And food.

 

He sat up gingerly, putting his feet down and he groaned as he cradled his aching throbbing head in his hands. His clothes were on the floor and it took a moment for Harry to remember all that had happened yesterday. The newspaper with pictures of Louis and Ryan. Their fight. Making up with Nick. Going out with Nick and getting almost drunk. Louis picking him up. Louis! He had picked him up from a bar where he had gotten drunk with Nick! He was in deep shit! Harry groaned again, this time not from the headache but from having to face Louis. What if he ended up on the tabloids again with some sleazy headline about him in the company of another man? Harry's stomach roiled uncomfortably. He contemplated on going back to bed and sleep the day away but he was hungry and thirsty and he needed to call Louis to see if he was alright and how mad he was at him on a scale of one to ten for his foolishness.

 

He stood up on unsteady legs and marched to the bathroom. He flicked on the light and winced as the bright light blinded him and made his head pound even more. He looked at himself in the mirror through squinted eyes and he groaned again. He looked like shit! He turned on the tap and splashed cold water on his face, then cupped his hands under the water and gulped a little of it, loving the coolness of it and how it soothed his parched throat. He then brushed his teeth and ran his wet hands through his curls to try and tame them a little but they seemed to have a mind of their own this morning and decided that they just wanted to rebel and stick out. Harry shrugged and let them be rebels. He was grateful that it was Saturday. He had every intention of making most of his alone time by catching up on all his assignments.

 

Harry left the bedroom and walked out onto the landing in just his socks. As soon as he reached the top of the stairs, he heard voices down below. A lot of voices actually. He commenced to descend the stairs slowly and as he reached the lower landing, he saw people. People in the living room. People outside Louis' study. People he didn't know. And what the hell where the police doing in their house? Harry wondered what he had woken up to. Did he fuck up that bad last night? What the hell had he done that required the police? As he took the last step, Leonard greeted him. He looked flushed and agitated!

 

'Good morning Harry,' he told him and Harry could tell that Leonard was panicked and worried. He was fidgeting and Leonard only fidgeted when he was freaking out.

 

'What's going on?' Harry asked him, his voice still thick from sleep. He needed a cup of tea! 'Who are all these people and why are the police here? Is Louis alright?' Leonard waved a hand in front of his face as if he was chasing a fly away.

 

'He-he's fine. Physically at least. Mood wise? Not too good. He needs you in his study right away. He told me to fetch you as soon as you were up. Come along,' Leonard told him as he moved away from Harry but Harry caught his elbow stopping him. He gulped. He was so in trouble!

 

'What's going on?' he asked him again. Leonard sighed heavily.

 

'Please Harry just don't make things any more difficult then they already are this morning. Mr. Tomlinson gave me strict and specific orders that as soon as you were up, I was to take you to his study immediately. You are up so please let me do my job and take you to him and I would thank you if you made it a little easier on me by just please coming into the study. It's going to be a long hard day. Can you please just follow me?' Harry could hear the desperation in Leonard's voice so he nodded and followed him to Louis' study. He was scared shitless!

 

Louis' study was full of people. Some sitting on the armchairs and some standing. Louis was sitting behind his desk looking as if he hadn't slept a wink. Harry felt sick. Had he done something terrible last night? Worry was eating him up inside and when Louis raised his head and their eyes met, his stomach plummeted to his toes and his blood ran cold.

 

'Sir, he's up,' Leonard informed him as if that wasn't obvious enough since Harry was just standing behind him. All eyes in the room went on Harry and he suddenly felt very exposed and self-conscious as he stood there in his plaid pyjama bottoms and Iron Man t-shirt. Why were they all looking at him? What had he done? Louis stood up, his eyes never leaving Harry and as much as Harry tried to figure out his mood from the look on his face, he really couldn't. Louis looked like a tornado that was about to hit a volcano.

 

'Thank you, Leonard,' Louis said dryly. Louis looked around the room. 'Gentlemen, could you please excuse us for a moment?' All the men in the room nodded, got up and filed out of the room. 'Walter you stay,' Louis told his lawyer who sat back down and resumed his seat. They both looked at Harry.

 

'What's going on?' Harry said quietly, his voice shaking. He had seen Louis like this before and it meant nothing good.

 

'Sit down,' Louis told him and his voice sent a chill down Harry's spine like chalk on a blackboard. Harry lowered himself into an armchair in front of the desk. He forced his mind to focus. Louis came round the desk and sat on the edge of it facing Harry.

 

'How are you feeling? Do you want tea and some pills for your head?' he asked him and still Harry could not figure out his mood by the tone of his voice. He was being caring but his voice was flat and cold.

 

'Yes please,' he said quietly. Louis picked up his phone, called Leonard and told him to get tea and headache pills for Harry. They were silent for a beat then Louis let out a long drawn breath.

 

'Harry, I need to tell you something,' Louis told him, trying to find the words to tell him that someone had smashed his windscreen and left him a threat. Harry looked at him with wide expectant eyes. He clung to the arms of the chair for support and dear life. 'Last night somebody smashed the windscreen of the Rover and left you this.' Louis showed him the note that had been left on the windscreen. Harry looked at it and he recognized it instantly. It was the same as the other note that had been left on his windscreen days earlier. Harry swallowed even though his throat was so dry. Louis had found out. Louis knew. Harry looked up at him, his eyes already welling up. Louis sat down next to him and took his hand.

 

'Honey don't worry about it. That's why the police are here. They took finger prints off the car and the note. Please don't worry.' And Harry gulped because he had to tell Louis now. So Louis was not mad! Louis was scared and worried. He just had to tell him now that the police where involved. Harry looked down away from Louis' worried face.

 

'It-it's n-not the first time,' he whispered, feeling ashamed that he had lied to Louis. Louis sat up straighter in his chair, his face paling.

 

'What did you say?' he asked him, his voice icy. Harry chewed on his bottom lip then met Louis' blue eyes.

 

'Please don't be mad at me Lou,' Harry pleaded, totally forgetting that Walter was still in the room. 'It-it happened before. Twice before.' Louis looked at him in shocked horror.

 

'Twice!!' Louis yelled suddenly, making Harry jump and shrink away from him. 'You were threatened twice and you didn't fucking tell me? Are you fucking insane?'

 

'Louis please. You- you were stressed w-with the merger.....' Louis stood up suddenly.

 

'I don't give a fuck about the merger Harry. What the fuck! Isn't your life more important than my fucking merger? Have I not told you time and time again not to fucking lie to me?' Louis' voice was loud and Harry knew that everyone outside could hear him. Harry began to panic.

 

'Louis I....'

 

'You what Harry? You could've been fucking hurt. When this this happen?' Harry took in a shaky breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'The-the side view mirror.....'

 

'I fucking knew it! I knew you were fucking lying to me but I gave you the benefit of the fucking doubt which you didn't deserve.'

 

'Louis please,' Harry whimpered on the verge of tears. He hated that they were fighting and that Louis was mad at him.

 

'When else?' Louis growled.

 

'The-the tires,' Harry said softly.

 

'What about the tires?' Harry rubbed his face with both hands.

 

'I-I came out of Uni with Niall and Liam and-and all four tires were slashed and there was a note.....'

 

'So let me get this straight,' Louis said stopping in front of him. His face was purple with rage. 'You told me you changed them for me as a surprise, as a gesture of good will when all the while you were lying to my face to cover all this up?' When said like that, Harry saw how wrong it had been for him to do that. His face burned with shame.

 

'Louis please,' Harry said again because he couldn't bear the accusations in his tone.

 

'You fucking played me and I believed you,' Louis said a little quieter. Harry knew that Louis was hurt and he had to fix this. He stood up.

 

'I just didn't want to burden you.....'

 

'You are not a fucking burden. Your life is not a burden when will you fucking understand? What if something had happened to you? How would I have survived it? You don't fucking think of anything Harry.' Harry was now crying softly.

 

'I'm so sorry Lou. I'm so very sorry. I just thought I could handle it....'

 

'Like you are handling the bullying at Uni? Yes, the bullying you so eloquently forgot to tell me about.' Harry hung his head in shame.

 

'How can you not tell me these things Harry? What about we are a team huh?' Harry bit his lip.

 

'You didn't tell me about Ryan,' Harry said softly. Louis glared at him pinning him down. Harry felt the weight of his gaze so much that he nearly fell to his knees.

 

'That is not the same Harry. He did not fucking threaten my life! Do not even try to weasel your way out of this because help me God....'

 

'Alright,' Walter stopped him. 'I don't think you want to threaten him in front of me,' he told Louis with a grin as he winked at Harry, because the poor boy looked terrified and mortified. Before Louis could reply, someone knocked on the door.

 

'Come in,' Louis barked. The door opened slowly and Leonard cautiously stepped in with a try.

 

'Sir Harry's tea.'

 

'Put it down and get the fuck out!' Louis growled. Leonard quickly put the tray down and happily hurried out of the room, throwing Harry a sympathetic look before closing the door behind him. Louis rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and fore finger. He was sleep deprived, worried, tired and scared. He looked at Harry.

 

'Was there another note?' he asked him in a flat voice.

 

'Yes.'

 

'Where the fuck is it?'

 

'In my bag. I'll go get it,' Harry said.

 

'Sit the fuck down!' Louis growled as he poured him a cup of tea. He handed it to him.' Here. Drink.' Harry really wanted to hug him right now but he didn't dare. He took the cup and sipped at his tea while Louis called Leonard and asked him to fetch Harry's bag. Louis ran a hand through his hair. Harry knew him well enough by now to know that he did that when he was nervous and frustrated.

 

'As of tomorrow you will have a security detail with you,' Louis told Harry and Harry nearly choked on his tea.

 

'No! I don't want security,' Harry protested. Louis slammed his hand down on the desk forcefully.

 

'You will fucking have security Harry or you will not leave the house at all. You decide!' he snapped at Harry. Harry placed the empty cup on the table beside the armchair.

 

'You can't do this,' Harry told him. Louis smirked at him.

 

'I can and I fucking will Harry. Its not a fucking good idea to test me right now.' Harry pouted.

 

'I should have a say in this!' Harry protested.

 

'No you don't get a say in this,' Louis bellowed. 'You were childish enough to hide this from me, putting your life in danger, so like a child you will get a fucking babysitter. Until this creep that's threatening you is caught you will not wander alone. You will be driven to Uni and back by your new security.' Harry stood up, his hands clenched into fists by his side. He really didn't want to get angry or lose his temper because he was at fault here and he had lied and hidden things from Louis but Louis was going above and beyond with this.

 

'I will not!' Harry said, his voice low. 'I don't want my life to change just because of this! And you can't force me....' Louis was in his face in two strides.

 

'Harry don't you fucking pull this shit with me. If anything happens to you.....'

 

'Nothing is going to happen to me!' Harry yelled then quickly lowered his voice. 'Sorry,' he apologized. 'I'll be fine Lou please.' Louis glared at him hard.

 

'You will have security whether you want it or not. I am not going to risk you just because you don't want security. Stop being a fucking child! You are being threatened and you will have security.' Louis stopped and kept looking in Harry's face, secretly challenging him to oppose him but Harry remained quiet. He knew better than to do so and he was sure he was not going to win no mater how much he fought and protested. 'Cal!!!' Louis yelled. The door opened and Louis' personal bodyguard entered.

 

'Sir?' he asked. Louis kept his eyes on Harry, a defiant look in his blue eyes.

 

'Send Jeremy in.' Cal nodded and exited the room for a minute only to re-enter, followed by a very large looking man. Harry had to look up to meet his eyes. Harry figured the man stood at least six feet three inches tall. Jeremy was in his early forties, had blue eyes, brown hair and a goatee. He wore a dark suit with a white shirt unbuttoned at the neck and trainers and had a built in phone in his ear. He looked very intimidating

 

'Sir,' Jeremy said addressing Louis.

 

'Harry meet Jeremy. He's your new security detail. Jeremy is American and an ex FBI agent. He has been working for me for the last five years. He is head of my security team at TGE, now he will be your personal bodyguard as I only want the best for you. You will not go anywhere without him, not even to the fucking bathroom unless I'm with you. Are we clear?' Harry wanted to scream at Louis that no, they were not clear, that he did not want a security detail following him everywhere but Harry remained silent, his eyes burning. Louis turned to Jeremy.

 

'He will not leave your sight whenever he's out of this house. You will keep an eye on him even inside the house while I'm away. Anything happens to him, and I mean even a scratch, you will be held responsible for it. Do you understand?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Jeremy replied. 'He will be safe with me at all times Sir.'

 

'Good,' Louis told him. 'You can leave for now.' The two security exited and as soon as the door closed, Harry looked at Louis.

 

'This is not fair,' he said, his voice strained because he was trying hard to control his anger and also not wanting to cry. Louis gave him a hard look.

 

'What's not fair is you fucking lying to me and keeping things from me. What's not fair is you putting your life in danger.'

 

'I had good reason,' Harry argued. Louis scoffed.

 

'Your reasons are shit Harry! I thought we trusted each other enough to not hide things from each other. I fucking trusted you and you fucked up that trust!' Harry knew that Louis was right but he still didn't want security.

 

'I'm sorry,' he whispered.

 

'You should be but you're still getting security so save it. You will not play on my feelings to get out of this and I'm warning you Harry, you better not make Jeremy's job difficult because I swear to God, I will house bound you,' Louis told him as he poured him another cup of tea and motioned for him to sit down, which Harry did and took the cup gratefully because his throat burned.

 

Walter looked from Louis to Harry who sat hunched in the armchair, drinking his tea silently.

 

'Harry,' Walter said. Harry looked up at him. 'As a legal representitive, you can sue this asshole for harassment,' Walter told him indicating Louis. His voice held a note of amusement.

 

'Fuck off Walt,' Louis said though, much to Harry's relief, the anger was seeping out of his voice. Walter laughed.

 

'Really Lou you need to take shit easy. You can't just threaten him like that and expect me not to offer him legal advice.'

 

'Stop putting ideas into his head!' Louis growled. Walter chuckled.

 

'Harry's safe Louis.' Louis dealt him a killer look.

 

'Barely.' Another knock on the door and Leonard came in with Harry's bag.

 

'Thank you,' Louis told him. 'Send the police back in please.' Then he turned to Harry. 'Give me the note.' Harry nodded and opened his binder, pulling out his note. Louis looked at it and shuddered. The police entered the study and Louis told them what Harry had told him.The police questioned Harry and took the note to test it for fingerprints. When they left, Louis turned to Walter.

 

'We need to go to Garland's. Now! I want to get the other issue taken care of today.' Walter nodded.

 

'I just need to go to my office to get the papers. I will meet you there in an hour. Good for you?'

 

'Yes,' Louis said, keeping his eyes on Harry who sat in the armchair looking sad and miserable. Walter gave them another look, hoping Louis would take it easy on the boy and exited the room. When the door closed behind him, Harry raised his head and looked at Louis.

 

'Louis I'm so sorry...I...'

 

'Go get changed. You are coming with me to Garlands. Don't ask questions. Just go get ready,' Louis told him sternly. Harry nodded and did what Louis asked of him because he didn't want to anger him any further. It was the least he could do after he had fucked up big time.

 

Half an hour later, Harry was all done and went back down into the study. Everyone had left besides Cal and Jeremy. Harry gave them a small wave as he passed them and entered the study. Louis was on the phone so Harry sat down in the armchair again to wait. When Louis was done with his phone call he looked at Harry.

 

'We leave in half an hour. Your breakfast is waiting for you,' he told him dryly.

 

'Louis,' Harry began.

 

'Not now Harry. I really don't want to talk to you at the moment because I am very angry with you. Go have your breakfast.' Harry hated that Louis was so mad at him. He hated himself for disappointing Louis. He got up, left the room and went into the kitchen to have breakfast. He ate a little but played around with his food, his appetite all gone. Judy squeezed his shoulder and gave him a soft reassuring smile. Harry stayed in the kitchen where Jeremy hovered just in the doorway, not knowing whether to go back into the study so he stayed there and waited until Louis came to get him.

 

'Let's go,' Louis told him without waiting for him. Harry got up quickly and followed Louis outside and into the Bentley. Jeremy and Cal followed in another car. The drive to Garland's was a quiet one, Louis totally ignoring Harry and Harry wanted to fall to his knees and beg him to forgive him because he would rather Louis yell at him than have him give him the silent treatment. It killed him inside but he chose to remain quiet because he knew that Louis was angry and he needed time to cool off.

 

When they arrived at Garland's, Louis got out of the car without waiting for Harry. Harry sighed and followed him. Louis made his way to Adam's office with Harry close behind him. In the office, Adam was waiting for him with Walter.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' Adam greeted him cheerfully.

 

'Cut the bullshit Adam,' Louis growled at him. 'Are they here?'

 

'Yes Sir,' Adam replied. 'All thirteen of them are here.'

 

'Good, Bring them in here. Now!' Louis sat down in the chair behind the desk as if it were his own office and Harry wondered who was it that Louis wanted to see. He didn't have to wait long before the door opened and Adam walked in, followed by thirteen beautiful boys all dressed in black tailored pants and white shirts with black shiny dress shoes. Harry's heart sank when he realized that these were Louis' boys! Harry flashed back to the first time Adam had sent him to VIP and had told him to dress smart because Mr. Tomlinson loved his boys to look smart. They were dressed the same way Harry had been dressed on the day he had first met Louis.

 

Harry looked at them with wide eyes. He scanned them because they were beautiful and well built and he realized that at one point, Louis had been intimate with these boys. To Harry's horror, he realized that Louis had been inside these boys! He saw the way they looked at him as if with reverence, then slowly lower their eyes in respect for his man. He saw the submissive pose they presented to him: eyes down, legs apart, hands clasped in front of them, fingers laced together, head bowed. Harry half expected them to get on their knees but they stood straight and rigid like soldiers. Harry wanted to get out of here, he couldn't stand this. Why did Louis bring him here? Why did Louis put him in the presence of his boys knowing what this would do to him? Was this some sort of punishment to make him suffer for what he had done? If it was, then it was working!

 

Harry turned his gaze to Louis and watched him watch them, his eyes carefully going from one to the other. Harry's stomach lurched at the thought that Louis might be lusting for them. Harry kept his eyes on Louis, mentally willing him to look away from his boys and look at HIM! Harry wanted those blue eyes on him not on them.

 

Please look at me! Not at them. Look at me please please please.

 

Louis cleared his throat but kept his eyes on them and Harry had to fight the urge not to scream and cry. They did not move an inch. 'I had you brought all here today to remind you of a business agreement we have, a business transaction if you will. I would like to remind you that you rendered me a service which you were handsomely paid for. If you remember correctly, if not let me refresh your memories, you signed an NDA which enabled me to use your services with the utmost discretion on your part. By law, that NDA still stands and cannot be broken even though our business agreement has been terminated. Failure on your behalf to honor that NDA, allows me within my legal rights to sue you for breaking a document that has been signed and agreed upon by you. Might I remind you that if I sue you for said breach of contract, you will serve time, a long time in fact in prison because let's face it, a lawsuit of this magnitude will cost you thousands and let's be realistic here, you all cannot afford that much money to pay me and quite frankly, I am not in need of your money, so it will be jail time for you. What I am in need of, is for you all to stick to that NDA. If you do, you are all safe and we can all go about our lives. I need you all to acknowledge your place and stay in it.' Louis paused and let his eyes roam over each and everyone of them and Harry felt his mouth fall a little open at how they didn't even move an inch. How much had Louis subdued them? How much had he beat them into submission?

 

'One of you has been causing me some trouble,' Louis continued, his voice firm and steady, commanding and authoritative. 'I was lead to believe that there are a few among you who might be working with Ryan and you better pray to God that you are not because if you are, God help you. If any of you have at any point in our business association developed an emotional attachment to me, I will make it clear for you that it was always one sided. I have never at any point bonded emotionally with any of you. You were nothing more to me than a mere service which I made clear to you from the very beginning. I was clear about what I expected of you and what I required of you and you all agreed to it. You had the option to refuse me and my offer but you did not. However, like I already mentioned, Ryan is acting out against me. What you saw in the papers this morning is nothing more but desperate schemes on Ryan's behalf to try and snare me which is futile. It is a pitiful cry for attention. I warn you : I will not be blackmailed or threatened.' Louis paused again, giving his words time to sink in, then he continued.

 

'I do not owe any of you an explanation regarding my personal life or why our business has been terminated. However, I would like to inform you that I am a taken man. A happily taken man and Ryan has dared to interrupt and threaten my happiness and hurt the person that I love with his reckless actions. Some of you might be working with him or so he told me, so if I were you I would think twice about crossing me especially if your actions hurt my partner. Come for me or my partner and I will end you. I will not hesitate! You may raise your heads and look at me,' Louis ordered and as if on cue, all of them raised their heads simultaneously and looked at Louis. Harry didn't know whether to feel, admiration, jealousy or sick. These boys were totally submissive to Louis!

 

'Now, what we are going to do here today is this. My lawyer has setup a new NDA for you to sign. This new contract will strictly bind you to me in a professional way obviously meaning that I own your silence. Fail to sign this contract and I will sue you, your employment here will be terminated and trust me when I say that I will make life for you very difficult even in the confines of a prison cell. My terms and conditions to you were very clear and you signed on the dotted line entering a legal partnership with me. Now, its all up to you. I am not forcing your hands. I am offering you a chance that if you are working with Ryan, well you can redeem yourself now.' Louis nodded towards Walter who opened his brief case, took out a small stack of files, each one with a name stuck to the front it. Louis got up and looked at Walter.

 

'I will call you later tonight,' he told him and Walter nodded as he placed all the files on the desk. Louis turned to Adam. 'Send up a bottle of Dom.' Then he turned to Harry and motioned for him to follow him. Louis' boys kept their gaze straight ahead, not once turning to look at Louis or Harry. Louis walked out of the room and Harry followed him in silence. The club was empty and as they walked through it, Harry felt that tug in his stomach when he remembered how he had exhibited himself here, half naked for men to drool over him. He shuddered.

 

Louis climbed the stairs to his VIP room, pushed the door open and allowed Harry to walk in before him. Louis closed the door and locked it. Louis welcomed the quiet and solitude of the VIP room. A bottle of Dom was chilling in a silver ice bucket on a tray along with two crystal flutes. Harry walked in before him and looked around the once familiar room. Not that he had been too familiar with VIP, but still, it took him back to when he worked here and was sent here to Louis for the very first time. He remembered how scared he had been and let his mind drift to the possibility of what might have become of him had he not found Louis waiting for him in this very room!

 

'Sit!' Louis ordered, his voice bringing Harry out of his thoughts. Harry was quick to obey and he sat down on the couch, automatically folding his hands in his lap, head bowed and eyes down. He was feeling too many emotions ; his fight with Louis, Louis' boys, the threats, Ryan. His mind was a jumbled whirlwind of thoughts. He hated that Louis was mad at him for lying and he felt greatly perturbed by how Louis' "boys" where still so submissive and obedient towards him even though Louis had given them up.

 

Louis poured two glasses of the expensive champagne, sat down next to Harry and handed him a glass. Harry took the glass but he did not drink and he didn't look at Louis either.

 

'Drink,' Louis told him and Harry obediently took a sip. He was never a big fan of champagne but this was good. Louis sighed a little too heavily, indicating his worry and stress and took a healthy gulp of his champagne. He looked at Harry who sat beside him as if he was waiting for Louis to yell at him and punish him.

 

'A year ago today, I met you in this very room for the very first time,' Louis said softly, not a trace of anger in his voice. Harry's head snapped up and his mouth gaped open because he had totally forgotten the exact date that they had met, yet Louis remembered. How could he have forgotten? His eyes met Louis' blue eyes and Louis saw the surprise in his green eyes. Louis' eyes were soft on Harry, so so very soft and Harry felt butterflies erupt in his stomach. Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'We were sitting just like this after you failed to give me a blowjob,' he told him with a chuckle. Harry bit his lower lip, hiding a smile though he could not hide the blush that spread across his cheeks. He could feel them all warm and flushed.

 

'I was the worst,' he said quietly, hiding his embarrassment at not having given Louis a blow job.

 

'You were a virgin,' Louis pointed out. 'A virgin virgin in every way!' Harry blushed harder.

 

'Still the worst,' Harry said, smiling shyly. Louis looked at the closed door with a far away dreamy look and smiled fondly.

 

'I can still remember how you took my breath away when you stumbled through the door. You looked so innocent, with your long hair and white shirt, your pale face and large green eyes. I thought you were an angel. I can still remember the way my heart sped up, my palms grew sweaty and my stomach fluttered at the sight of you and I couldn't understand what was happening to me because I had never felt any of those things before. Nobody had ever had that effect on me.' Louis paused and ever so gently, he took Harry's hand in his, treating it as if it was delicate china which would shatter in his hand at the mere pressure he put on it. He intertwined their fingers. Harry sat still.

 

'Thinking back on that moment, I think I would dare to say that it was love at first sight even though I had no clue at the moment that I was falling in love with you. Your innocence and your beauty captured me instantly. It felt as if you had reached into me, grabbed my heart and squeezed your fingers around it. I knew you had me and I wanted you. God I wanted to make you mine. Over the next few days you became an obsession to me. It wasn't just your body that I wanted. I wanted the whole of you.' Louis raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed Harry's hand then placed it over his heart.

 

'Feel that?' Louis asked him and Harry nodded because he was overwhelmed and he could not utter a single word. 'It beats for you,' Louis continued, his voice silky smooth and soft. 'It beats because of you. It beats today the same way it did one year ago today when you entered my life. I still feel the same fluttering in my stomach every morning when I wake up to you beside me and I lay my eyes on you. You came to me unexpectedly and you created a cosmic shift in me. I tried to fight against it but you took control of me and I let you. You changed me and I let you. You healed me and I let you. You saved me Harry in so so many ways. I know that sometimes I don't do things right and that I fail you so many times, yet you never give up on me. You love me when I'm not loveable and I thank you for your patience with me. I am still learning because I want to love you right. I want to love you how you deserve to be loved. And I know that you are very mad at me right now for forcing security on you but please Harry, I am scared. I am terrified of something happening to you. Losing you is my biggest fear you know that so please please do me a favor yeah, say yes to having security with you. If someone hurts you..I...I won't survive. I won't live without you. Please?'

 

Harry was left speechless after all the words Louis had just said to him. Louis was so vulnerable right now, sitting there beside him and looking at him with clear, wide blue eyes as if he was searching Harry's face for something, anything though Harry did not know for what. He wanted to say something but Louis' words were hard to top. Harry was not expecting this from Louis. He was rather expecting Louis to give him the silent treatment for a day or two, make him go without sex, kisses and cuddles as punishment. But this? This blew Harry away and all that he knew right now, the only thing that his brain was making sense of was that he loved Louis too much. Louis' heart beat fluttered beneath his fingers like a humming bird, gentle, fragile yet steady. Harry was overwhelmed but he knew that he needed to feel Louis. He needed to show him love.

 

Before Harry even knew what he was doing, he was on his knees between Louis' spread legs. Louis looked down at him with a quirked eyebrow.

 

'What are you doing?' Harry grinned up at him as he unfastened Louis' belt and unzipped his pants with skilled fingers. He looked up at Louis.

 

'What I should have done the day we met....Sir,' he told him, giving him a sheepish smile and a wink as he pulled Louis out of his boxers and went down on him, taking Louis fully in his mouth. Louis hissed and his hips thrust up of their own accord the moment Harry engulfed him in his hot wet mouth. If the boy that he had met a year ago didn't know how to give him a blow job then, the boy between his legs now had a very sinful mouth that did things to Louis that drove him crazy.

 

'Fucking hell Harry baby,' Louis moaned as he threw his head back, resting it against the back of the couch. His fingers found their way into Harry's baby curls and he tugged gently. Harry whined around Louis' cock which was down his throat. He bobbed his head up and down taking Louis deeper and Louis thrust up ever so carefully not wanting to choke Harry. Harry licked up and swirled his tongue teasingly around Louis' head making Louis actually whimper and tug a little harshly on his curls.

 

'Baby I-I'm c-close,' Louis panted out thrusting up. Harry pulled off of him and stood up earning him a what the fuck glare from Louis. Harry smiled at him and began taking off his clothes.

 

'Harry,' Louis whispered as he watched him undress until he was bare standing in front of him. Harry walked to a little cabinet where the club's essentials where kept : lube, condoms, wet wipes, tissues and hand santizier. He brought a condom and lube back with him and placed them on the cushion next to Louis then he straddled his lap. Louis ran his hands up Harry's thigh.

 

'Baby what are you doing?' Louis asked him tenderly. Harry leaned in and kissed him softly, then pulled back and cupped Louis' face.

 

'I'm going to ride you,' Harry told him as he commenced to put on the condom on his hard dick. Louis gave him a curious look. They always went bare back so why was Harry wearing a condom? Harry saw the confused look on Louis' face and chuckled.

 

'I don't want to make a mess all over your pretty expensive clothes,' he explained and Louis laughed and shook his head. He let Harry lube him up and watched him as he gently lowered himself on his dick. And God Harry was tight! Louis wanted to close his eyes against the sensation but instead he watched Harry. He watched him bite his lower lip as his eyes fluttered closed. Harry whined softly in the back of his throat as he took Louis inside him inch by inch. When Harry was sitting flush on Louis' lap, he took in a deep shuddering breath and opened his eyes slowly, meeting Louis' gaze that was on him. Harry leaned down, feeling Louis shift inside of him and he kissed him deep and hard, burying his tongue inside Louis' mouth and Louis kissed him back equally fierce, both hungry and wanting, desperate for each other. Louis sucked on Harry's tongue hard making Harry groan. Harry pulled back and rested his forehead against Louis and started rocking himself back and forth. Louis moaned as his fingers dug into Harry's hips, hard. Both their mouths fell open against each other's, lips touching but not kissing, both panting in each other's mouths as Harry picked up his speed, fucking himself hard and fast, needy and desperate, a deep carnal desire filling him.

 

Louis thrust up into him equally hard, making Harry jolt upwards, both of them panting into each other's open mouths. Harry gripped Louis' shoulders tightly and rocked himself harder and faster so much that Louis could hardly keep up with him. He had never seen Harry like this, riding him this desperate before. His hips were snapping fast looking for relief and his spot and Louis was sure that he was going to hurt himself going like this but Harry was riding him frantically.

 

'Baby,' Louis panted out trying to tell him to slow down but Harry cupped his face in both his hands, his lips against Louis' own.

 

'I love you,' he breathed. 'I love you. I love you. I love you.' Louis held him tighter and tired to say I love you back but Harry was driving himself so hard on his dick Louis was seeing stars! Harry just held his face between his hands, his open mouth hovering over Louis'.

 

A few minutes after, Louis could feel Harry slowing down and his hips stuttering yet his desperation was still there. He knew he was getting tired. Harry whined in frustration and Louis knew it was his turn. His hold on Harry's hips tightened and he fucked up into Harry hard, making him let out a strangled cry of pleasure. He did it again and Harry's hands fell from his face and his head rolled back onto his shoulders as a sinful groan left his parted lips. Louis continued his rough fucking making Harry jolt upwards and bounce on him. When Louis hit his prostate, Harry cried out, his fingers digging into Louis' shoulders to keep him steady.

 

'Please please please,' he whined. 'Please Louis.' Louis smiled through his own haze and pounded into him mercilessly, hitting his prostate repeatedly. Tears fell out of Harry's eyes and rolled onto his cheeks. He leaned forward, wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders in a tight hug and buried his face in his neck, whimpering and whining in the hollow between his neck and shoulder. Louis could feel Harry shaking, his wet lips against his neck. Harry seemed to regain some strength because as Louis fucked up into him he pushed down on Louis, taking him deeper. That did it for Louis! He came hard inside Harry. He orgasmed so hard that he was so lost for a while that he didn't realize that he bit down hard on the flesh between Harry's neck and shoulder, his teeth sinking in the soft flesh. Harry cried out at the sudden pain and shuddered at the same time as he felt Louis throb and come inside him and when he felt Louis' teeth close around his sensitive spot, his hips stuttered, he went rigid and spilled into the condom untouched.

 

They both breathed heavily, their chests rising and falling together, both their heartbeats slamming against each other. Louis felt Harry go pliant in his arms, his body relaxing after the force of his orgasm. Harry's face was still buried in Louis' neck, his arms around his neck holding him and holding on to him. Louis caressed Harry's back with soft fingers and placed small kisses on his neck and shoulder, kissing softly the spot where he had bitten him. He felt himself going soft inside Harry and he wished he could stay like this forever, joined to Harry this way, so deep and intimate. Harry was so warm inside! Louis knew that Harry had gone under a little so he continued to just hold him, running his hands up and down his sweaty back to keep him grounded. He kissed every part of the bare skin he could get to and murmured sweet nothings into his ear.

 

Harry regained some of his consciousness back, raised his head off Louis' shoulder and looked at Louis with heavy lidded eyes. 'We just fucked in Garland's,' he said and giggled. Louis laughed softly at that and kissed his temple.

 

'We did,' he said still laughing.

 

'I love you,' Harry said, his voice deep and soft.

 

'I love you,' Louis replied back. They kissed languidly and lazily, savoring each other. When they broke the kiss, Harry got up off Louis slowly, wincing slightly as Louis slipped out of him. He got dressed as Louis tucked himself back into his pants and fixed his clothes. Harry bit down on his lower lip as he felt Louis' cum seep out of him and dampen his boxers. It was hot and somewhat sexy but he wanted to get back home and have a hot shower, preferably with Louis and have a nap. Louis handed him his glass of champagne when Harry was seated next to him.

 

'Lets make a toast in honor of our first year together,' Louis told him. He took his hand in his. 'To the future. May we both be in it for each other with lots of hot sex just like this.' Harry giggled. They clinked their glasses together and took a drink.

 

'Really,' Louis told him, 'you should let your beastly wild side out more often. You fucked so hard you made my dick hurt.' Harry nearly choked on his drink.

 

'Did not,' he protested, his cheeks burning.

 

'Oh baby you did,' Louis told him. 'You were fucking wild and I loved it.' Louis winked at Harry and watched him blush deeper. Louis squeezed his thigh.

 

'Don't be embarrassed. No need love.' Louis paused. 'I didn't get you an anniversary gift but I got something for the both of us. I will show you once we leave here.'

 

'You didn't need to get us anything Lou,' Harry said. 'We have each other.' Louis smiled.

 

'I think I needed to get us this and you are going to love it.' Louis' face went serious and it suddenly brought Harry back to the problems they had. For a while they had forgotten about them as they got lost in each other but here they were, facing them again. Harry put his hand over Louis' the one that was still on his knee.

 

'What is it Lou?' Harry asked him gently. Louis looked into his eyes.

 

'I will be telling Adam to close down the VIP section of Garland's,' he said quietly. 'I don't want them whoring anymore. I-I don't feel its right anymore. Before I met you, I didn't care but now....' he paused, took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 'Harry you woke up my conscience. I can't on my better judgement allow the boys that work here to whore themselves to men like me who only use them for their body for their carnal satisfaction. Its not right.' Harry squeezed his hand tightly.

 

'Hey don't say that about yourself. They know what they are doing. Nobody is forcing them Louis.'

 

'Still,' Louis said. 'I want it stopped. I shudder to imagine what would have happened to you had you not found me in this VIP room the day Adam brought you here. You would have been....' Louis shook his head and swallowed thickly. 'I want to turn this level of this building into small apartments for the strippers. Those like you who are struggling and doing this job to earn money. It will be rent free as long as they work here.' Harry looked at him fondly.

 

'You are so kind. If you think this is for the best then do it. Adam will not be pleased and maybe some of the boys won't be either, I mean those who like to do this, but I support you on this. And I am glad I found you in this room a year ago.' Louis leaned over and kissed him softly.

 

'Thank you. And if you were wondering why I brought you here today....'

 

'Oh wasn't it because you wanted to get a fuck from your best boy?' Harry told him jokingly. Louis scoffed.

 

'Besides that, obviously,' he said rolling his eyes. 'But seriously Harry, I brought you here with me so that you could see my boys. See with your own eyes once and for all that there was never anything between me and them besides a business agreement and that it is officially over with them and that I will never be going back to them or their services anytime soon.' Harry looked down feeling a little ashamed that he had let Louis believe that he still doubted him.

 

'Lou I don't think that,' Harry said quietly. Louis kissed his cheek.

 

'I know. I just wanted to make sure that you know it. That you know that you are the only one and that there will never be anyone else for me but you. I didn't think Ryan would get this far.' Harry looked at him.

 

'Do you think Ryan is doing this to me too? The threats I mean.' Louis sighed heavily.

 

'I do suspect that yes but the police told me to wait for the fingerprints tests to come back. Harry I....'

 

'I will have security Louis,' Harry interrupted him. Louis looked at him in surprise.

 

'You will?'

 

'Yes. If its for your peace of mind then yes I will have security. I don't want you worrying anymore than necessary. And I won't be difficult about it. I will behave.' Louis pulled him into a hug.

 

'Thank you baby. Thank you. I love you so damn much,' he told him as he kissed his face. Harry giggled softly.

 

'I want to make you happy,' Harry said.

 

'And you do baby. You do so much. Now, are you ready to go and see our one year anniversary gift?' Louis asked him and Harry nodded. They both stood up, Louis took his hand and led him outside to where Angus was waiting for them. Once they were both seated in the backseat, Louis gave Angus directions. All that Harry knew was that they were going somewhere in Whitechapel.

 

After a short drive, Angus pulled up to the curb and they both emerged to stand in front of a building that had seen better days. From what Harry could see of the building, it looked like what used to be an old Victorian guesthouse. Louis squeezed Harry's hand and Harry could tell that he was excited. There was that twinkle in his eyes that Louis always got when he was happy or excited about something. Louis tugged on his hand and they both walked into the building. When they entered into what once used to be the small foyer of the guesthouse, Harry noticed that it was being refurbished and that there were workers going on about the place scraping old wallpaper off the walls, fixing electricity and replacing old floorboards. Some of them greeted Louis with a nod and "Good morning Sir" which Louis returned happily. Harry looked at him confused so Louis explained as he walked him further into the building until they were at the back. This room looked to have once been a kitchen, with windows that over looked a big derelict garden :

 

'I bought this building a few weeks ago. I had this gift for us planned for a while so I had been working on it. This is going to be a new rehabilitation center for men who have suffered rape like we have.' His voice wavered a little because where as he had been raped by his father and his friends, Harry had been raped by him! Louis watched Harry's face break out into a shocked surprise.

 

'I have been talking to Anthony about it and I told him my plan. He told me it is a very good idea as there are men who suffer in silence after they have been raped. He told me men don't speak out about this and it destroys them. Here, they will find counselling and all the help they need to face their ordeal and heal. It will also offer help to those men or boys who find themselves forced into prostitution or who have found themselves into prostitution due to unfortunate circumstances like I have been and want to stop and start a new life for themselves. Here they will find all the help they will need and offered jobs and housing in this same building until they can get back on their feet again to face the world. Anthony has agreed to donate his time to helping people here by giving them therapy and someone to talk to. He has managed to convince a few other counselors and other therapists he knows to donate their time to helping these victims. I thought it would make a lovely gift for us seeing that we both, well have been victims.' Harry stared at him, his eyes welling up then he threw himself into Louis' arms making him stumble back a little but Louis caught him and held him.

 

'Oh my God Louis, that's amazing. This is like the greatest gift you have even given to me. You are so kind. I love you,' Harry blubbered through his tears. Louis smiled and hugged him tighter.

 

'You are my greatest gift and you just bring out the best in me,' Louis told him, pulling back and kissing him softly. He wiped under Harry's eyes with his thumbs. 'Don't cry yeah.'

 

'I'm just happy,' Harry sniffed. 'I'm so sorry I lied to you and kept things from you. I'm really so so sorry. You didn't deserve that from me at all. I'm stupid.'

 

'Hey hey,' Louis told him, calming him down. 'As much as I don't like you lying to me, well, I kinda lied to you too, so we're kinda even.' Harry narrowed his eyes at him.

 

'What did you lie to me about?' Louis sighed and seemed to be thinking about what to say next. He led them to a pair of old chairs and they sat down, facing the garden that was dead and over grown with weeds.

 

'About what Ryan wants from me,' he said quietly and Harry's heart sank a little because nothing good could come out of this.

 

'What does he want exactly?' Harry asked him already fearing Louis' answer. Louis cupped Harry's face in his hands.

 

'Just know that he's not getting it. Know that!' Harry looked at him with wide eyes and Louis could tell that he was afraid. 'He...he wants me to leave you. He wants me to get rid of you and take him back. He wants to be my partner. If not, he will expose the NDA I made him sign. He will expose everything about me. He will expose the testimony you gave, that it was all fake to help cover up what I did to you. He will show how you lied to protect me. If he talks, the case will be re-opened and you will be exposed for lying under oath.' Harry kept his eyes on Louis.

 

'And you could go to jail,' Harry whispered.

 

'I'm not giving you up Harry. My lawyer is already working on it. That's why I fear that he is doing this to you too. He won't win Harry please trust me,' Louis begged him.

 

'But if he talks....'

 

'He won't. He signed a legal document and he is bound by law,' Louis explained.

 

'Yes I know that Louis but if he talks, he will put it out there. They will look into our case again. We will be called back....'

 

'Harry Harry love calm down. Clam down baby. I won't let it get to that. You are safe. I will keep you safe alright. He won't touch you. Walter is setting up a team of lawyers to work on this. Please don't let it come between us.' Harry chewed his lip nervously.

 

'I could leave for a while....'

 

'No! Absolutely not! He will not fucking divide us. He knew the rules. He knew there was no emotional attachment on my behalf.'

 

'Then why would he do all this? Why does he hate me so much?' Louis huffed out a breath.

 

'Okay, do you remember when Marc had the launch party at my house and you got wasted?' Louis asked him and Harry nodded. 'Well, when I was putting you to bed you wanted me to make love to you and I was not going to take advantage of you while you were intoxicated. So you started to tell me how you were not good enough for me and you told me about the confrontation you had with Ryan and what he told you. It was all untrue. He was acting out of jealousy because I had chosen you.' Harry covered his face.

 

'Oh God,' Harry murmured into his hands. Louis pulled his hands away and tilted his chin up to meet his eyes.

 

'After you were asleep, I called him to come to my basement. I beat the shit out of him for all that he said to you and I told him that we were done and I told him that he was also fired from Garland's. I also warned him to stay away from you so Harry, this is all my fault. None of it is your fault do you understand me?' Harry shook his head and Louis huffed again because he could see that Harry was hurting. He took him in his arms and he was thankful that Harry didn't push him away. He cupped the back of his head, running his fingers through his curls.

 

'It will be fine baby I promise you. I will fix this and I will make sure no harm will come to you. Do you believe me? Do you trust me? Please I need you to have faith in me. Can you do that Harry?' Harry nodded.

 

'I do. I will. I will.' Louis kissed him again.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered against his lips. 'Wanna see the rest of the building or do you wanna go home?' Harry cuddled into his side.

 

'Can we go home please? I need a shower and I'm tired.' Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'Sure love. Let's go.'

 

x

 

A week later found Louis busy making plans for Harry's birthday which was just eight days away. Ever since he had closed the deal on the merger, he had been spending more time with Harry, leaving work as early as possible and getting home to be with his boy who was more than happy to have Louis home with him even though he was very busy with work for his mid-term exams. Harry loved when he and Louis locked themselves in Louis' study and Louis helped him study for his exams.

 

The calls from Ryan were relentless. He called Louis three or four times a day with more threats. Louis was working with the police and his security team to try and track down Ryan but so far they hadn't managed to find him. Louis was thankful that the threats to Harry had stopped and that for the past week there had been no notes. Louis thanked God that Harry had accepted security and whoever it was that had been threatening him, had somehow backed off. The notes the police had taken for finger prints came up blank, meaning whoever had vandalized Harry's car and left the notes had worn gloves.

 

Friday morning Louis was going into work late as he had some final preparations to make regarding Harry's birthday present, which of course he didn't let on about to Harry. He simply told Harry that there was no need for him to go in early today as he washed Harry's hair in the shower.

 

'Bend down a little you giant. I swear you're growing by the minute,' Louis told him as he lathered the rose scented shampoo into Harry's curls. Harry giggled.

 

'I stopped growing years ago,' he told him making sure his eyes were tightly shut to avoid any soap getting into his eyes. Louis kissed his nose.

 

'You're such a baby,' he told him fondly. 'Tilt your head back under the water.' Harry did as he was told while Louis rinsed out the suds from his hair. He then conditioned his curls and rinsed again, handing him a flannel to wipe his eyes with. When Harry opened his eyes, he found Louis smiling at him.

 

'What?' Harry asked him with a grin. Louis shook his head.

 

'You're too adorable. Are you sure you can't miss a few lectures and stay here with me?' Louis asked him as he wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. Harry took in a sharp breath when he felt Louis' semi hard cock against his thigh. Louis began kissing his neck slowly as the hot water cascaded on them. Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting out a soft moan.

 

'As much as I'd love to, I really can't. Just two weeks till my exams Lou and I can't miss any lectures.'

 

'Hmmm,' Louis moaned against his neck. 'Pity. Such a pity. I had high hopes that you would let me wreck you for a few hours. I love unravelling you bit by bit.' Harry groaned in the back of his throat.

 

'I wish.' he whined. Louis nibbled at his skin.

 

'Can we at least have a quickie? Tell me you can allow me a quickie in your most busy schedule Sir. I'll be very quick,' Louis told him huskily still nipping at his neck. Harry sighed and smiled.

 

'How can I deny you anything?' Louis grinned against his neck and bit down on his skin making Harry wince.

 

'Turn around, hands against the wall,' Louis ordered. Harry obeyed, giving his back to Louis and placing both his hands against the wet tiles. Louis tapped his ankles with his foot. 'Spread them.'

 

As soon as Harry spread his legs, Louis placed himself at his entrance and pushed inside him slowly. Harry whined lowly and pushed back against Louis taking him in deeper. As soon as Louis was fully inside him. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and began moving in and out of him. Harry pushed back meeting his thrusts and soon they picked up a rhythm, the shower full of the sounds of skin against skin, panting and moans.

 

True to his word, Louis did a quick job of it and soon they were both coming hard and moaning out each other's names. Louis made sure to have a good hold on Harry when his knees buckled a little. He turned him round and Harry fell into his arms.

 

'I love you,' Harry said breathlessly. Louis kissed his wet shoulder.

 

'I love you. Now let's finish this shower so you can be on your merry way towards your graduation.'

 

After their shower, they went down for breakfast and sat close to each other as Louis read the newspaper and sipped his coffee while Harry nibbled on his pancakes and blueberries.

 

'So what will you be doing with your free morning while I'm away?' Harry asked him while taking a sip of his tea. Louis put down the newspaper, narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips as if he was deep in thought.

 

'I'm thinking of wanking myself blind while I picture you stark naked riding my dick fiercely,' Louis said with a mischievous grin on his lips. Harry sputtered and choked on his tea, spitting out some of it. He coughed and wiped his mouth and chin with a napkin where the tea had dribbled. He slapped Louis on his thigh.

 

'Louis!' he exclaimed. 'Can you like NOT?'

 

Louis grinned at him. 'Can I like not what love?' he asked him innocently.

 

'Say stuff like that to me!' Harry said still shocked. Louis smirked at him and moved closer, his lips inches from his ear.

 

'Why? Am I making you horny? I can offer you another quickie before you go?' he said nuzzling his face into Harry's neck, inhaling his Tom Ford cologne then blowing a raspberry in the crook of his neck. Harry squirmed and giggled loudly.

 

'You are hopeless,' Harry told him still giggling. Louis pressed kisses into his neck.

 

'Mhm hopelessly in love with you.' Harry giggled again as Louis peppered his face with kisses.

 

'Get off me you crazy man!' Louis kissed him some more.

 

'Crazy about you,' he told him as he placed a final kiss to Harry's smiling lips. Louis looked at him fondly with stars in his eyes. 'Happiness suits you so well.' He kissed his smile again. 'Never stop smiling but now you need to finish your breakfast or you will be late for your first lecture.'

 

As if on cue, Jeremy entered the kitchen, dressed in his custom black suit and white shirt and trainers looking smart and fresh as ever. He smiled at Harry then looked at Louis.

 

'Good morning Sir,' he greeted Louis politely then he looked at Harry. 'Ready to go?' he asked him. Harry wiped his mouth with his napkin and got up, pushing his chair back. He leaned over Louis and kissed him softly.

 

'I'm going to miss you so much,' he told him, pressing another kiss to his lips. Louis smiled.

 

'Still in time to change your mind and stay here with me,' Louis offered. Harry kissed him again.

 

'As tempting as that is, I need to get to my lectures. Don't be a devil.' Louis kissed him again.

 

'I'll be good. Have a good day love. I'll see you later.' Harry picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

 

'I love you,' he told him as he began walking after Jeremy.

 

'I love you too,' Louis replied, smiling to himself and picking up the newspaper again. He felt happy that Harry had accepted to have security with him. It eased his mind a little at least that he was safe and he didn't have to worry about his safety though for the past week there had been no new threats. The phone ringing startled him.

 

'Hello,' he answered, keeping his eyes on the newspaper.

 

'Good morning Louis,' Ryan's voice said into the phone making Louis sit up straight. 'I hope you don't mind that I call you by your first name. I mean considering I will soon be your boyfriend I feel we should be on a first name basis.'

 

'Why the fuck are you calling again?' Louis growled into the phone. He could feel his good mood evaporating.

 

'Because Mister, you are still ignoring me,' Ryan told him in a playful voice which made Louis' skin crawl. 'And that is rude. I really really don't want to get mean with you but you are making it so difficult for me.'

 

'Ryan you need to cut this shit. The police and my security are looking for you. You won't get away with this,' Louis told him, his voice stern.

 

'Hmmm,' Ryan sighed into the phone, 'I must say Harry's security man is really yummy don't you think?' Louis felt his blood go cold. When Ryan didn't get a reply out of him, he continued :

 

'You have really assigned a handsome devil in charge of your boy haven't you? Aren't you worried he might try and get it on with Harry?' Ryan said, knowing too well what that did to Louis.

 

'I trust my security,' Louis spat at him.

 

'Well, I have been watching them for the past week and they look awfully comfortable and rather cozy together. For those who don't know that he's his security detail, they might think they were a couple. He could easily be his sugar daddy! I mean they laugh so much together and always have a lot to say to each other, not to mention how Mr. Security Man keeps his hungry eyes full of desire and lust on Harry as he walks away from the car, checking out that ass of his.....'

 

'Shut the fuck up Ryan!' Louis said harshly.

 

'Did I hit a nerve?' Ryan mocked him. 'I mean who the fuck am I kidding here? I have to admit that your boy is kinda sexy and I would fuck him myself if.....'

 

'You stay the fuck away from him,' Louis yelled as he got up suddenly, toppling the chair which hit the floor loudly. 'You go anywhere near him or touch one hair off his body and I swear to God I will fucking end you. Do you hear me? I will end you Ryan.' Ryan chuckled.

 

'I love it when you are all angry. Makes me so horny! Guess then you should start packing his stuff up then because I'm dying to move in and I am getting impatient. I might go have a word with Harry after all.'

 

'Ryan stay the fuck away from him I'm warning you,' Louis screamed at him.

 

'Toodles love. I won't wait much longer.' Ryan hung up and Louis felt all the blood rush to his head as a surge of panic went through him. Ryan had been watching Harry! Ryan was watching Harry now! He knew his every move! His daily routine! Louis was sure that Ryan was the one threatening Harry but he couldn't prove it. He quickly dialed Jeremy who picked up after the second ring.

 

'Yes Sir?'

 

'Where's Harry?' Louis asked him.

 

'He just went inside for his lecture Sir. Is there a problem?'

 

'Yes there is a fucking problem. I need you to go in there and pull him out of his lectures and bring him home!' Louis ordered.

 

'Sir, might I ask what the problem is?' Louis huffed out a breath.

 

'What's the problem? Ryan just called and he has been watching you and Harry. He was somewhere out here this morning, he saw you leave and he followed you to the University. He's fucking there watching Harry! Haven't you noticed him?' Jeremy cleared his throat.

 

'No Sir, had I noticed someone suspicious or a vehicle I would have reported it right away.'

 

'Get Harry out of there now!' Louis barked into the phone. 'Bring him home right away and Jeremy if anything happens to him, anything at all, I am holding you accountable for it so make sure he is fucking safe.'

 

'Yes Sir. I'll get right on it. Harry will be safe.' Louis hung up and Jeremy let out a breath. He had to admit that Mr. Tomlinson scared him and that was saying a lot for an ex FBI agent! He quickly got out of the car and hurried towards the administrative building of the University. Once inside, Jeremy told the secretary that he needed to see the Dean immediately and that it was regarding an urgent nature. The secretary made a call on her phone, speaking softly then when she hung up told Jeremy that he could go right in. Jeremy asked the Dean to have Harry brought to the office right away and that he could not divulge the reason as to why Harry was needed. The Dean called his secretary and asked her to have Harry sent to his office right away.

 

After ten minutes of impatient waiting from Jeremy who paced the large office nervously, Harry walked in, his eyes immediately going to Jeremy and his frown deepening as he wondered what he was doing in the Dean's office.

 

'Why are you here?' Harry asked him right away. 'Is Louis alright? Did something happen?' Jeremy held up his palms to Harry.

 

'Calm down. Yes, Louis is fine but we need to go.' Harry's frown deepened as Jeremy grabbed him by the elbow and guided him towards the door but Harry pulled his arm out of Jeremy's grasp.

 

'Can you please tell me why I am being taken home in the middle of my lecture?' Harry asked him. Jeremy looked at the Dean then back at Harry, clearly not wanting to talk in front of the Dean and that Harry would get it. However, Harry stood there waiting for him to answer his question. The Dean didn't miss the exchange and he realized that Harry's security could not disclose any information to Harry with him in the room. So he stood up, excused himself and exited the room, giving them some privacy. When the door had closed behind the Dean, Jeremy looked at Harry.

 

'There has been a threat,' he told him, his voice low but urgent. Harry bit his lip.

 

'On me?' Jeremy rolled his eyes.

 

'Who else?' Harry pouted a little.

 

'I'm fine here,' he said. Jeremy huffed.

 

'Harry, don't be stubborn. Ryan has been watching us all week. He was watching us this morning from outside the house. Mr. Tomlinson ordered me to take you back to the house. Now!' Once again, Jeremy grabbed him by the elbow steering him towards the door, ready to lead him out of the building but Harry tugged himself backwards and snatched his arm back out of Jeremy's grasp.

 

'I'm not going,' he said stubbornly. Jeremy rolled his eyes.

 

'Harry, I have an order from Mr. Tomlinson to delivery you straight to the house. Do not make me drag you because I will. I will manhandle you if you get difficult.' Harry looked Jeremy straight in the eyes.

 

'I have no doubt that you will "manhandle" me and "deliver" me to Louis as per his request but I am not an order off Amazon or Ebay to be delivered! I am me and I refuse to go back home until my lectures are all finished. I will not have my life disrupted because of that stalker.' Jeremy ground his teeth together trying to be patient which wasn't one of his virtues.

 

'Harry, first of all stop air quoting me! Second of all, that stalker is in fact stalking you and your partner and he has been placing threats. Mr. Tomlinson is convinced that he is the one that has been threatening you so stop acting like a child and let me get you home safely.' Harry glared at Jeremy.

 

'He has no proof!!! I have been having my fair share of bullying here so I'm pretty sure.....'

 

'Pretty sure does not cover it Harry!' Jeremy told him sternly. 'This is your life we are talking about here. Can you please stop being difficult and let me get you home? Mr. Tomlinson will have my head if anything happens to you.' Harry rolled his eyes dramatically, knowing that if he did that to Louis, he would probably spank his ass till he could not sit down.

 

'He won't Jeremy. Give me a sec,' Harry told him, holding up one finger at Jeremy while fishing his phone out of his pocket with the other. When he had his phone in his hand, he dialed Louis who picked up right away.

 

'Harry,' he breathed into the phone. 'Are you alright?' Harry could hear the worry and tension in his voice and for a moment he felt bad that he was making Louis worry about him but he wasn't going to have his life uprooted just because Louis' ex wanted him back.

 

'Louis I'm fine. I just called you to let you know that I'm not leaving and its not Jeremy's fault okay. He's threatening to manhandle me if I keep refusing to follow your orders. Please don't get mad at him for wanting to manhandle me or at me for wanting to stay here.' Harry heard Louis sigh.

 

'Harry you better get your ass here or help me God.....'

 

'Threatening me too I see. Why is everyone threatening me lately? Louis I am not going to miss my lectures just because your ex.....'

 

'Harry don't you even fucking say it! That asshole is fucking threatening you.....'

 

'Louis you don't know that! The police don't know that so don't hurt yourself jumping to conclusions alright. I have a personal bodyguard with me! I feel like Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. Why are you making me feel like Whitney Houston Lou?' Louis growled into the phone.

 

'Do you think this is a fucking joke? If something happens to you....'

 

'Louis, Lou baby calm down and take a breath for me yeah. I know this is not a joke and I know you are worried. I am fully aware that we are talking about my life here and that is why I am insisting on not giving him what he wants because this is MY LIFE. I want to study and graduate next year and if I give into this, I will be letting him break me, if it is even him at all. You are not giving him what he wants so why should I? I cannot miss anymore lectures if I want to graduate early. Please Louis try to understand that you cannot protect me from all the dangers of life. I could get hit by a bus...are you going to sue the bus or the driver? Wait...yeah you might do that but that's beside the point. The point is, I am safe here. There is campus security and I have Jeremy who is parked outside. Ryan is not coming for me in here, in a crowded University that's got all it's entrances secured. Louis please let's not make this any bigger than it already is.' Louis was quiet for a beat.

 

'Harry I'm so worried. Please, just come home. I will get you tutors....'

 

'No Louis!' Harry snapped at him. 'Stop it! I won't. I agreed to having security but you can't lock me away. Life is for living and I am going to live it. I will not allow this mess to fuck up my life. I won't allow it and I need you to chill and relax a little. I'm fine alright. I will be fine here.'

 

'Harry please,' Louis whisper begged. 'I have a bad feeling in my gut. Just do this one thing for me.' Harry closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He had to put his foot down. Louis couldn't keep getting his own way all the time. They were a team and as a team Harry felt that decisions should be made together.

 

'Baby, tell your gut to calm down. I am well taken care of here. Trust me a little alright? Can I go now? I already missed most of my lecture.' Louis sighed heavily and Harry knew that he was frustrated.

 

'Why must you always fight me?' Louis asked him, his tone much calmer. Harry smirked and turned his back to Jeremy, covered the phone and lowered his voice.

 

'So maybe you can punish me later. Bad boys get spanked don't they?' Harry told him a little seductively, hoping it would put Louis into a better mood and give him something to look forward to to take his mind off all this worry. Harry heard Louis gasp and he smiled to himself because he had obtained the desired effect.

 

'Don't they Lou?' Harry pressed when Louis remained silent.

 

'Yeah...yeah the do,' Louis told him, his voice low and full of lust. Harry smiled again.

 

'Will you hmm? Will you spank me because I'm defying you?' Harry continued. Louis breathed heavily into the phone.

 

'I might because you are being fucking hard headed and disobeying me,' Louis told him.

 

'Good. I will see you later then. Oh before I forget, I'm going to be a little later than usual....'

 

'You're fucking pushing it now Harry. Late how much?' Louis growled into the phone. Harry smirked. The more pissed off Louis got, the harsher his punishment.

 

'Maybe an hour. I have a photography project I need to finish so I have to stay after the last lecture which finishes at five so I should be home round sixish.' Louis sighed again.

 

'You're testing my patience Harry.'

 

'I love you,' Harry cooed into the phone playfully. 'Say you love me. Are you smiling?'

 

'No Harry I'm not fucking smiling,' Louis snapped but Harry could hear that the anger was no longer in his voice.

 

'Yes you are I can hear it in your voice because I'm too cute and you love me,' Harry continued. He was determined to ease his anger and worry. Louis chuckled.

 

'I love you, you menace.' Harry made kissy noises into the phone.

 

'I will see you later love of my life but now I have to go. The fucking lecture is probably finished by now thanks to you.'

 

'Be careful and stay safe,' Louis told him.

 

'Will do.' Harry hung up and turned back to face Jeremy.

 

'I'm staying and he's okay with it!' Jeremy shook his head and gave him a small smile.

 

'You got him wrapped around your pinky haven't you?' Harry shrugged.

 

'We love each other. Its called compromising.' Jeremy chuckled.

 

'That was NOT compromising Harry. That was you getting your way with him.' Harry smiled fondly.

 

'Don't worry. I'm gonna pay for it,' he told him, giving Jeremy a wink as he hurried out of the Dean's office back to his lectures. Jeremy shook his head and left the office too, taking up his spot outside in the car and keeping an eye out on the perimeter for anyone suspicious.

 

 

X

 

 

The rest of the day went by relatively quiet for Harry. Bullying was minimal. Maybe they had seen his security and had finally decided to back off. He only got shoved twice and a few muttered "whore" and "gold digger" here and there but he just shrugged them off. He and Louis had enough on their plate to deal with without him letting these people get to him.

 

As he walked out of his last lecture, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages. Louis had sent him five in the last hour asking if he was alright. Harry smiled to himself and quickly composed a text to Louis.

 

[FromHarry] :

Lou I am fine. Everything is fine. Just heading to the lab now. I should be home within an hour. I love you. Stop worrying. You are going to go grey before your time ;)

 

Harry hit send and stuffed his phone back into his jeans pocket and began making his way to the photo lab, whistling to himself. Most of the students had already left and the rest were leaving unless some where staying behind at the library. He didn't meet anyone in the corridors on the way to the lab and for that he was grateful.

 

When he got there, he opened the door and flicked on the lights. He closed the door softly behind him and made his way to one of the computers. He placed his bag on the desk and fired up the computer. While he waited for it to load, he turned on the printer and pulled out his file from his back pack. He opened it to the page on which he needed the information as to what was needed to be done for the final part of his project. While he waited for the computer to boot, he pulled out his phone and went to speed dial number one : Louis. Harry decided to give him a call just to help him ease his worry a little. As he was about to hit speed dial, his computer was ready booted and Harry absentmindedly put the phone down meaning to call Louis as soon as he opened up his photo shop but he quickly got immersed in his work, editing photos for his project that he forgot to make the call.

 

When he was half way through editing the photos, the door to the lab opened. Harry kept his eyes on the computer thinking it was the janitor come to do the usual cleaning after the students had all left.

 

'I will be done shortly and will get out of your way in no time. So sorry for delaying your work,' Harry said, his eyes still on the computer. He heard the door click shut.

 

'I'm in no hurry,' a voice said that Harry knew perfectly well did not belong to the janitor. He swiveled round in his chair and he gasped when he found himself facing Ryan and two other men.

 

'Hello Harry,' Ryan said with a smirk on his face. He began walking further into the room closer to Harry while the other two stayed beside the door. Ryan gave him a fake cheesy smile.

 

'Since your boyfriend has been so eloquently ignoring me, guess its time that you and I had a little chat wouldn't you think?'

 

Harry gulped, fear suddenly over taking him. He needed Jeremy. Ryan grinned at him.

 

'You are going to be a good little boy, listen to all I have to say and take all that I will give you. Are we understood?' Harry nodded weakly.' Good! Now, lets chat shall we?'

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 31......


	31. This Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for your kind comments and for reading my fic. I am very very grateful.  
> All the love, M

This Boy.

 

 

Louis sat in the living room with Walter going over the documents that had been signed by his ex-subs at Garlands. Walter opened file after file showing Louis the signatures.

 

'They all signed without problem. That's thirteen of them excluding Ryan of course. You had fourteen of them and thirteen have signed. I personally don't think that any of them are working with Ryan. They seemed pretty shaken up after your speech and they signed on the dotted line without preamble.' Walter took a sip of his coffee as he watched Louis checking each and each one of the documents carefully. When he was done, he leaned back into the couch and looked at Walter.

 

'So you think he was bluffing when he told me that others from Garland's are working with him then?' Walter pondered the question for a minute then looked at Louis.

 

'I do think that he was bluffing, maybe to intimidate you into thinking that there were more ready to talk and you would eventually succumb and give him what he wants.' Louis scoffed.

 

'As if I would ever give up Harry for him or anyone for that matter.' Walter raised an eyebrow at him, an amused expression on his face.

 

'This boy has been causing you a lot of trouble yet here you are not giving in even though you are being blackmailed. That is twice now that someone has it out for you because of this boy.' Louis did not miss the sarcastic concern in Walter's tone. He looked at him pointedly.

 

'Is there a point you are tying to make here about "this boy" Walt?' Louis asked him, stressing his emphasis on "this boy". Walter shrugged, his face still amused.

 

'Don't get defensive,' he said. 'I'm just pointing out the obvious. I mean, there was a chance that you could've been put behind bars and you defended him and tried to keep him away from all the exposure risking yourself for him. Now, you are being blackmailed by an ex. You are risking again being exposed and having your rape case reopened, yet you still protect him and won't back down. In all the years I have known you, I have never in my life seen you take shit from anyone or for anyone, yet here you are. This boy.....'

 

'This boy what?' Louis snapped at him because he didn't like having his life laid out at his feet and explained to him like this. It was none of anyone's business. 'And "this boy" has a fucking name Walt. He's called Harry.' Walter gave him a small knowing smile.

 

'This boy,' he paused. 'Harry, he has a hold on you like I've never seen before. A big ass hold on you might I add. Why?' Walter asked him. Louis furrowed his brow.

 

'What do you mean why? Does there have to be a why?' Walter shrugged again.

 

'When have you ever let someone take control of you and dictate your life Louis? When have you ever lived according to someone else? Hell, when have you ever made a decision that regarded someone else? When have you ever drank tea for fucks sake?' Louis looked down into his empty tea cup. Was he that obvious? Walter smiled wider. 'You are more docile. More soft. He has tamed you and you let him.'

 

'Watch yourself Walt,' Louis told him and his voice held a warning. 'I am only docile where he is concerned. I am only soft for him. The beast inside is dormant not dead! Harry just knows how to tame my beast and dance with my demons.' Walter chuckled.

 

'Oh your beast shines through from time to time alright. But really Louis, its alright to be tame and soft. Its alright that he makes you that way. I wasn't in any way implying it as a negative thing. We all have someone who is our weak spot and brings out our soft side. Nothing to be ashamed of.' Louis gave a grunt.

 

'I doubt you even know what a soft side is let alone owning one.' Walter gave him a small smile, his face softening.

 

'In fact I do own a soft side as hard as that is to believe. I too have my own version of Harry that makes me vulnerable and has somewhat tamed me and made me docile.' Louis' eyes went wide with humor.

 

'You?' Louis exclaimed. 'Pray, do tell who is this person that has melted that heart of stone.' Walter smiled again and Louis could see that it was a soft, shy, fond smile and he wondered if he looked the way that Walter was looking now whenever he spoke of Harry.

 

'Her name is Gloria. Gloria Hartley. I met her last year when she was a junior lawyer at out firm. She caught me right away. She made me weak and challenged me. She wasn't intimidated by me at all. She worked a few cases with me. I had to teach her and sometimes she really got on my nerves because she asked endless questions but she was a hard worker and an intelligent one at that. Has a perceptive eye. Makes for a good lawyer. I didn't even realize I was falling for her until I did. Now,' Walter paused and smiled at Louis, a smile that made his eyes shine, ' Now she just told me that she's pregnant. We are pregnant! I'm going to be a dad and I can't fucking believe it. I am so happy and thrilled. I used to think that my job was everything, that winning cases was everything I needed to make me happy but I never realized what an empty life I was living until I met her. And now even more so that we are going to have a little one in a few months.' Louis looked at him with his mouth hanging open and awe on his face. His broke out into a huge smile.

 

'Oh my God Walt that's really wonderful news. I mean that's amazing. Congratulations,' Louis told him excitedly because he was really indeed excited for his lawyer. They were not exactly friends, never had been but Walter was sitting in front of him, opening up to him, showing him his other side that Louis never imagined Walt could possess, yet here he was, in love and expecting! Walter chuckled.

 

'Thank you. It is really something to congratulate. I mean, this is like a miracle. A little me and a little Gloria! Can you imagine that! A baby lawyer in the making.' Louis laughed, genuinely happy for Walter.

 

'Maybe he or she will not want to be like you guys,' Louis pointed out. Walter nodded.

 

'He or she can be whatever they want to be in life. One thing I know for sure is that he or she will be very very loved. Its an eye opener. Life is too short to waste it on struggling to make a career and work your ass off. There are far more important things in life Louis, so if Harry makes you soft, then be soft and if he makes you docile, be docile. Don't be afraid of being vulnerable as long as its for the right person who loves you back and holds your vulnerability in both his hands. From the little I have been in Harry's company, I can tell that he is really wonderful and he's so head over heels in love with you. You should really take it easy on him you know. The way that you yell at him. He looks terrified of you.' Louis dared to look ashamed. He felt ashamed too.

 

'I just worry about him. I just worry that something will happen to him and with Ryan out there.' Louis paused. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 'He is so fucking stubborn.' Walter scoffed.

 

'Look who's talking. The man who takes stubborn to a whole new level!' Louis looked at Walter and Walter could see the fear in his eyes. For once, Louis was letting his guard down a little.

 

'Walt, what if Ryan hurts him?' Louis asked softly. Walter leaned forward in his seat and leveled his gaze with Louis'.

 

'He won't Louis! He is well protected. You procured a bodyguard for him. He will be fine. Ryan won't get to him. You have to trust that and trust him a little.' Louis sighed. He didn't understand why all of a sudden he was finding it easy talking to his lawyer about his boyfriend and his fears regarding said boyfriend.

 

'I know but Ryan is still out there and right now I'm a nervous wreck because its half past five already. I know he told me that he should be home by sixish but I have half a mind to go down to the Uni and drag him out of there.' Walter chuckled.

 

'You need to give him some rope. Pulling tight will only make him pull away tighter. You can't just house him! You can't deny him his freedom which you already took away from him by slapping a body guard on him without giving him a choice in the matter. You can't just lay down the rules for him and leave him no choice but to obey you. He is not one of your boys Louis. He is not your submissive. He is your life partner, the man you love and who loves you back. He is your equal.' Louis looked at Walter with a small smile on his lips.

 

'What are you my shrink now? Since when have you become a relationship expert?' Walter laughed.

 

'It's amazing what being loved can do to you. How it opens your eyes and your heart.' Louis nodded because yes he knew what love could do to a man.

 

'Am I going to have to pay you for all this relationship advice then?' Walter laughed again and got up. He squeezed Louis' shoulder affectionately.

 

'No. Its on the house. But really Louis, try to relax and trust Harry. He will be fine. Jeremy is one of the finest which is why you hired him to work for you in the first place. He will take good care of him. Now, as much as I was enjoying sharing this heart to heart chat and bonding over it with you, I do have to go because I am meeting Gloria for our first sonogram and I am very nervous and excited. Don't worry too much. Think of your blood pressure.' Louis stood up.

 

'Fuck off,' he told Walter playfully. 'Good luck for your sonogram. Hope everything will be well.' Walter shook Louis' hand.

 

'Thank you Louis. Take care of yourself and that boy of yours. If anything happens, anything at all, just give me a call okay. Anytime!' Louis nodded and Walter left. Louis looked at his watch. Quarter to six. Harry should be home shortly.

 

 

X

 

 

Ryan stared Harry down as Harry sat trembling in the chair looking down, not wanting to look at Ryan. His mind was racing frantically and he began to internally panic. Louis had been right! Louis had told him that he had a bad feeling about this and yet again he had failed to listen to him. Harry cursed himself for having down played the situation and not listening to Louis! Louis was going to be so mad at him for this because all this was his fault. If he had gone home when Louis had told him to, none of this would be happening right now. Instead, he was here with Ryan and if Ryan hurt him, Louis would never forgive him for being a stubborn idiot.

 

Ryan could tell that the boy was terrified and was internally panicking. He was expecting him to burst into tears at any given minute and start begging Ryan to let him go home to Louis. Or maybe he would beg for his life! Good. He wanted the boy grovelling.

 

Looking closely at the boy, Ryan had to admit that he was pretty. Very pretty and he could see what attracted Louis. He looked innocent and sweet and soft and fragile and Ryan wanted to break him in every way possible. His hatred towards this boy only grew and intensified. He could feel it unfurling inside his chest like a poisonous flower. He wanted to hurt him! He wanted to hurt Louis by hurting his precious boy, the boy that had stolen Louis away from him without so much as an effort while he had waited and hoped that Louis would see him as something other than one of his boys, that Louis would love him and ask him to be his. But no! Louis had chosen this pathetic excuse for a boy who was hardly out of his teens!

 

Harry raised his head and looked at Ryan and Ryan hated him even more! He hated those big doe green eyes staring at him full of silent pleading. He hated those full plumb lips that got to kiss Louis and that Louis got to kiss. Ryan wanted to break Louis' boy. Did Louis think he could honestly protect the boy even though he had given him a bodyguard? Louis underestimated him! Ryan wanted them both to suffer, wanted to break both their hearts. Ryan rested back against one of the lab desks and folded his arms across his chest. He motioned to one of the lads that were standing sentry against the door. One of them moved to stand beside Harry.

 

'Tie him.' Ryan ordered.

 

'Please,' Harry said as the big guy grabbed his arm roughly and tied it with a cable tie to the arm of the chair. Harry hissed because it was so tight, it bit deep into his flesh. 'Please,' he said again but the guy just tied his other hand and he was unable to move. Ryan smirked at him.

 

'Guess Louis never tied you up huh? His precious fragile little delicate flower,' he spat at Harry in disgust. 'You make me sick!' Ryan kept his eyes on Harry.

 

'Has Louis ever told you about me? About us?' Ryan asked him. He was curious to see if Louis had ever mentioned him to Harry. Harry looked at him and he felt angry that this man was doing this and causing Louis pain. He drew up some courage.

 

'Louis does not talk about his pass times with me,' Harry told him flatly. 'It's not a topic we engage in.' He did not want Ryan to know that he was scared shitless and have the upper hand where Louis was concerned. Ryan glared at him angrily. Pass time? Was that how Louis referred to him as his fucking pass time? He was more to Louis than just a fucking pass time! He moved quickly, closing the short distance between him and Harry. His hand darted out and he hit Harry across the mouth with the back of his hand. The ring on his middle finger connected with Harry's bottom lip and it split open it with the impact. Harry cried out at the pain as he tasted blood in his mouth and felt it drip down his chin.

 

'Watch your fucking mouth boy. I was more to him than just a fucking pass time. Remember that!' Ryan snapped at him. Harry felt the pain in his lip go up to his head, making it swim a little from the impact. His lip throbbed and the blood dripped from the cut down to his chin, staining his pink shirt and jeans. Harry kept his eyes on Ryan.

 

'He never mentioned you or the others,' he said and it hurt to talk and made more blood seep out of the cut. He licked it and gagged at the taste of his own blood in his mouth. Ryan gave him a small smile as he rested back against the desk once more.

 

'Did you know that I was the first boy that Louis recruited? I was the first boy he needed. The first boy to see to his needs. The first boy to satisfy the beast inside of him,' Ryan told him proudly and hitting Harry where he knew it would hurt. He saw a flash of pain on Harry's face. Good. He was hitting right where it mattered. He continued :

 

'Louis was 24 when I met him. He was just on the cusp of his success. Had just started up TGE. He was on the way to the top. I was 21 at the time. He came to the club where I was working. I was a stripper back then. I danced on his lap and let him touch me even though it was against the club rules but God he was handsome. When I finished my show, my boss came into the changing room and told me that Mr. Tomlinson was asking for me. I went and he was at the bar, sitting there looking all rich and expensive as fuck. I mean his fucking watch alone probably cost more than the club we were in.' Ryan laughed and waved a hand dismissively at Harry as if they were nothing more than two friends having a casual chat a cafe. Harry ground his teeth together but regretted it because his lip hurt and the movement made fresh blood seep out of the cut.

 

'Anyway,' Ryan continued. 'He asked me if I would like to enter a business arrangement with him. When I asked him what he had in mind, he asked me to go home with him to discuss it further. Of course I went! He was, still is gorgeous and I wanted to know him. So we got into his Bentley and we drove to this beautiful house and well, he introduced me to his basement. Than night I signed the NDA with Louis and we started our adventure together.' Ryan paused and looked at Harry, loving and reveling in the pained look on his face. 'Did you know that he has a daddy kink?' Harry swallowed thickly. No, Louis didn't have a daddy kink! The one time he had called him daddy, Louis had been angry and told him not to call him that.

 

'He doesn't,' Harry said softly, trying not to move his lip too much. Ryan laughed out loud.

 

'Oh sweetheart you are so innocent! Trust me he has. In those early days when he beat and fucked me hard he always made me beg and repeat "daddy please, no daddy please." I don't know but I think it kinda got him off hearing me beg and calling him daddy.' Harry cringed inwardly because what Louis had done was only feed his demons and the way Ryan was interpreting it was far from a sexual kink. Ryan thought that Louis' "daddy" kink was sexual! Harry knew better. He knew that the reason Louis had made Ryan say those words was because those were the same words that he had begged his dad time and time again when he had beat him and raped him. Louis' demons were having a field day every time Ryan uttered "daddy please" or "daddy no." Ryan didn't know anything. Ryan had only thought that what Louis did was sexual and all about kinks. Harry swallowed but gagged again at the coppery taste of blood filling his mouth.

 

'You don't know him,' Harry rasped through his swollen bloody lip. Ryan laughed.

 

'And you think you do? You think just because he is playing nice and keeping you around like a pet, giving you things and taking you on fucking trips that you have found a way to his heart?' Ryan scoffed at him. Harry looked straight into his eyes.

 

'I own his heart,' he told him, trying to keep his voice as steady as he could through the pain he was feeling in his face. Ryan grit his teeth together, feeling the hate for this boy bubbling inside him like hot lava burning through his veins. His fingers curled into fists and before he could even think, blinded by rage as he was, his fist lashed out towards Harry's face and he caught him in the nose. Harry's head snapped back painfully from the force of the impact. Pain exploded in Harry's head and nose, pain that felt as if his whole head was going to explode. His vision blurred from the tears that sprung into his eyes. Blood flowed from his nose, joining his messy bloody lip and dripped in a steady rhythm from his chin on to his shirt and jeans. He closed his eyes because he felt dizzy and nauseated. He was sure he was going to throw up but he swallowed the bile that rose in the back of his throat and he gagged as hot blood went down his throat.

 

'You do not fucking own him!' Ryan screamed at him as he bent over to make eye contact with Harry, bringing his face close to Harry's. 'You are just a fucking distraction to him. Something new and shiny. You got in his fucking way and he's having fun with you until he gets bored and realizes you are not the precious shiny thing anymore. You are nothing to him! Nothing do you understand? Stop fucking thinking you have some hold over him because you fucking don't! You are just the pet, remember that.' Harry swallowed again, this time trying not to cry. He didn't want to give Ryan the satisfaction of breaking him.

 

Louis loves me. Louis loves me. Louis loves me. Louis loves me, he repeated inside his head.

 

Ryan ran a frustrated hand through his hair tugging on it. 'What the fuck does he see in you? I don't fucking understand! You're just a stupid fucking kid who's still studying. What the fuck can you possibly give him that is making him keep you around? This is strange behavior on his part and I will fucking remove you from his life if its the last fucking thing I do. I will ruin you.' Ryan stopped talking suddenly and smirked at Harry.

 

'What could fascinate Louis about you so much hmm?' he asked Harry with an evil smile dancing on his lips as he walked towards him. 'Is it your body?' Ryan ran his hand up Harry's chest. Harry shied away from his touch. Ryan raised an amused eyebrow at him.

 

'Do you like to play hard to get? Is that what you did to Louis? You teased him and played hard to get, making it a challenge for him? Oh Louis loves a challenge. I need to see for myself what got Louis so interested in you.' Ryan began unbuttoning Harry's shirt. Harry tired to move but his head pounded and his hands were tied to the damn chair. His whole face felt swollen and it hurt so bad.

 

'Please don't,' Harry mumbled. His jaw hurt and he couldn't talk properly. He knew he was drooling but he couldn't even wipe his mouth. He wanted to close his eyes and just sleep. Ryan continued to unbutton his shirt until he had undone all the buttons, then parted it, exposing Harry's torso. Ryan stood back, rubbed his chin and let his eyes rove over Harry's tattooed torso. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his chair feeling the weight of Ryan's gaze on him.

 

'Hmm,' Ryan said as he licked his lips. 'Louis always had a penchant for beautiful things. I can see why he picked you to play with. Everyone loves a nice toy to show off. Let's see if you are well endowed too shall we?' Ryan reached out and tugged at the button of Harry's jeans which popped open easily. Harry struggled against his restraints, the cable ties cutting painfully into his wrists.

 

'No. Don't touch me!' he told him, his voice now full of fear. What was Ryan going to do? Harry's mind quickly flashed back to the night that Louis had raped him and he knew that he was not going to go through it again. He would not go through that pain again! He struggled harder even though the pain in his head and face were threatening to pull him under. Unceremoniously, Ryan shoved his hand down Harry's boxers, grabbing him tightly. Harry struggled to get away from Ryan's touch but Ryan tightened his grip on him, making Harry cry out.

 

'Big,' Ryan commented with a smirk. 'Yes, you are beautiful aren't you, you little manwhore! I might just fuck you myself. Take Louis' toy for a spin. Maybe even let my friends here have a go! That should get Louis' attention shouldn't it?' Harry began to panic. He could feel a severe panic attack coming on.

 

'Please don't,' he begged. He couldn't go through it again. Ryan chuckled.

 

'Beg whore,' Ryan told him as he continued to stroke him. Harry closed his eyes tightly shut and willed his body not to react but it was impossible. He could feel himself getting hard. Ryan laughed. 'That's it slut, get hard. We should let your precious Louis see what a whore you are, getting all hard for me and don't you think for just one second that I'm doing this to pleasure you. Nooooo! I'm doing this because you don't want it and because its humiliating for you. I am doing this to touch what is sacred to Louis. Oh I know how territorial and possessive he can be and how he doesn't like to share. I'm just using you to get a reaction out of him.' Ryan continued to stroke him roughly while Harry struggled in his chair. Ryan moved closer to Harry's ear, his lips touching the shell.

 

'Louis is a dominant sadist. I doubt he showed you what he can really do to someone. You're so fragile and pathetic. Bet he just fucks you nice and slow while you whine and moan like the whore that you are. In the beginning when we first started out, he used to force me not to come. He simply wouldn't let me. He loves control. When he'd finish fucking me hard and raw, he would give me permission to wank. But you know what dominants also do? They can make someone come against their will. They can make them spill no matter how much they don't want to. A good Dom always makes his sub come whether he wants to or not and trust me, I have learned a thing or two from Louis so if I want you to come, you will come.'

 

Harry kept his eyes screwed up tightly shut hoping that his body would not betray him and give in to Ryan's command. He could hold it back. Louis had denied him to come multiple times and he had held back. He had obeyed Louis and had held back his orgasms and he was sure he could do it now. Harry forced himself to think of other things that would turn him off but Ryan was relentless. He was tugging and stroking, fast and hard, pressing his thumb harshly into Harry's slit. He whimpered softly. Ryan laughed when he saw him struggling.

 

'Oh trying to hold back are we? Aren't you a sweet little nugget! Guess Louis never showed you what forcefully taking an orgasm entails and how it works. You do not get a say in it! You do not get to decide you won't orgasm! You will come and we will show Louis how you came all over yourself by my hand and he will realize how easy you are and not quite as special as he thinks you are. He will see that any man that touches you can make you come and that your orgasms do not belong solely to him. He will finally see what a trashy whore you are and will dump you. Then he will be all mine.' Harry groaned in the back of his throat as Ryan stroked him harder, yet he fought against the unwanted pleasure that was coursing through his body.

 

'Please stop,' Harry begged breathlessly. Nobody had ever made him come besides Louis and he didn't want Ryan to take that away from him. He belonged to Louis! His orgasms belonged to Louis and Ryan was about to steal one from him. Harry felt a lump close around his throat. Why hadn't he listened to Louis and gone home? Why hadn't he trusted Louis when he had told him that he had a bad feeling about this? If he had, none of this would be happening but it was too late now and here he was, being touched by this man and about to give up an orgasm to him.

 

'Not until you come you filthy whore! Louis needs to see that his precious boy is nothing but a cumslut who gives it up easily. He needs to wake up and snap out of this daze he is in and see you for who you truly are. The old Louis needs to come back!' Ryan squeezed him exceptionally hard and Harry couldn't help but moan filthily. He really couldn't help that his body was betraying him! Ryan could see the strain on Harry's face. He knew he was fighting hard not to come but also that his body was demanding release. Harry began to tremble lightly.

 

'That's it! Come on slut, cum for me. Let Louis see you.' Ryan squeezed him and dug his thumb painfully into his sensitive slit and Harry's body reacted. He thrust up into Ryan's hand, once, twice because he could feel it! He could feel his orgasm building inside of him, a tightening in his lower abdomen and spine. It felt like a white hot heat spreading into his lower regions. He felt the usual tug and pull, the pressure building and building, coalescing and begging for release. He couldn't hold off any longer.

 

I love you Louis. I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you I love you.

 

He repeated this inside his head as his body stiffened and he came all over his tummy and Ryan's hand as the tears rolled down his cheeks. He heard Ryan laugh but he was lost inside his head, feeling sick and disappointed with himself. He had betrayed Louis.

 

'Good slut,' Ryan mock praised him as he continued to milk Harry through his orgasm. Harry's body spasmed. He was over sensitive yet Ryan didn't stop. Ryan wasn't Louis. Ryan didn't care about him! Ryan wasn't going to take care of him like Louis did. Louis! More tears feel out of Harry's eyes. Louis was sweet and Louis loved him but Ryan was vindictive and after this, Louis wouldn't want him anymore. A bit more cum seeped out of Harry's now limp dick.

 

'There you go whore. Give me your last drop.'

 

'Please....enough,' Harry whispered tiredly. He felt spent and ashamed. He felt disgusted that he had betrayed Louis by letting Ryan make him come, that he wasn't strong enough to hold back his orgasm for Louis. He bowed his head and looked at the floor as hot tears fell out of his eyes. Ryan pouted.

 

'Aww whore feeling bad?' Ryan asked him in mock sympathy as he wiped his hands off Harry's come on a tissue. 'You know, I wouldn't have taken you for a cheater but you just cheated on YOUR man in case you didn't know. I mean, at first I thought you were actually going to make me work harder to get an orgasm out of you but God you are so fucking easy to mess with. Not so loyal to your MAN are you?' Ryan asked him, putting extra emphasis on the word man. Harry choked back a sob because Ryan was right. He had betrayed Louis.

 

'Now,' Ryan said, 'how about we share the video with Louis hmm?' Harry's head snapped up and he looked at Ryan with horror tear filled eyes.

 

'W-what video?' he rasped out. Ryan laughed again.

 

'Oh dear boy you are so naïve. Well, while you were lost in the throes of your passion, I recorded the whole thing and I am so excited to send it to Louis.' Ryan tapped his phone and showed the video to Harry. The video showed Harry from the neck down, his flies open and Ryan's hand working him. 'Look at that hmm? Louis is so gonna love this! You look like a right whore don't you?' Harry felt his heart sink.

 

'Please please don't send him that. Don't show it to him. Please,' Harry begged him. 'I will do anything just please don't hurt him by sending him that.' Ryan pretended to be thinking. Then he looked at Harry.

 

'Nah I will send it to him. He deserves to know the real you. I need my Louis back and you are what's standing in the way.' Harry sobbed harder.

 

'Why are you doing this? Why? He's happy leave him be.' Ryan ground his teeth together.

 

'Louis is mine you prick! You don't own him and I will fucking get him back! Remember that you are nothing! Just a fucking pet he is toying with!' Ryan opened a new email and attached the file with the video, then hit sent and waited.

 

 

x

 

 

Louis paced the living room worried out of his mind. He looked at his watch and it was now twenty minutes after six! Harry should've been here twenty minutes ago.

 

Give him a break! Stop suffocating him so much. He probably got caught up with work and lost track of time.

 

His subconscious was probably right but the nagging feeling in his gut that he had had all day long was making him anxious and giving him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He contemplated calling Jeremy.

 

Give the boy some space! You are leeching his freedom. He is just working and he is well taken care of!

 

Louis took in a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

 

'He is fine,' he told himself. 'He is perfectly safe and fine and he is just at Uni with Jeremy so why the fuck do I feel like he's not okay? Why the fuck does my gut keep nagging at me?'

 

Because you are a paranoid asshole and a controlling freak!

 

Louis tried to calm down the raging worry inside of him. He sat down on the couch and just then his phone rang. He answered it quickly.

 

'Hello?' he said.

 

'Louis darling,' came Ryan's sing song voice through his phone, making Louis cringe and his gut to scream out at him.

 

'What do you want?' he hissed into the phone.

 

'Now now don't be like that. I know you can be more civil.'

 

'Ryan,' Louis growled. 'I don't have time for your shit. Now tell me what the fuck you want?' Ryan chuckled.

 

'Well first of all, I want you to play nice unless you want me to hurt your precious boy!' Louis stood up off the sofa, his heart hammering in his chest.

 

'Where is Harry? What the fuck have you done?'

 

'Let's just say that Harry is a bit tied up at the moment,' Ryan laughed and Louis felt faint. His blood had left his head and went down to his feet. He swayed on his feet a little.

 

'Don't hurt him you fuck!' Louis spat at him.

 

'On the contrary. Harry and I were having fun getting acquainted. He is so forthcoming.' Louis ground his teeth together hard, so much that his jaw ached. 'And we have been having so much fun together that I recorded our fun time for you to see. So I am going to attach a video to your email and once you see it, come join us. You will know where we are. Do not call the police or alert your security if you value the safety of your boy.'

 

'Ryan don't fucking hurt him. I will kill you.....'

 

'Toodles hunny. See you shortly.' The line went dead but his phone pinged indicating he had received an email. His hands shook as he opened his email and saw that it was a video. He tapped play and froze when he saw Harry, even though his face did not show in the video. He was tied to the chair by his wrists to the armchairs by cable ties that were digging into his flesh. His skin was raw and bleeding. His shirt and jeans were splattered with blood. And his jeans was open and Ryan's hand.....Louis stopped and swallowed back the tears as he watched Ryan jerk him off roughly and harshly. There was no sound so he couldn't hear if Harry was in pain but by the way Ryan was working him.....

 

'Fuck!' Louis screamed. 'Fuck you!' The tears fell down on his cheeks as he watched Ryan make Harry come. He watched Harry's body stiffen and release all over himself. 'Fuck!' Louis screamed again. Cal came running into the room.

 

'Sir what's the matter?' he asked him, alarmed and ready for anything. Louis remained with his back to him because he didn't want him to see him crying. He couldn't tell him. He couldn't call the police. He had to go there and he knew exactly where he had to go. He would recognize the photo lab anywhere.

 

'Nothing,' he said flatly trying to keep his voice from cracking. 'I need to go out.'

 

'Alright Sir I will get the car.....'

 

'Alone Cal,' Louis snapped at him.

 

'But Sir....'

 

'I need to fucking go out alone. Don't you understand a word I say?' Cal nodded even though Louis' back faced him. 'Get out!'

 

'Yes Sir,' he simply said but in his mind Cal knew that he wasn't going to let his boss out of his sight. He would follow him undetected and keep a safe distance away. He needed to keep his boss safe! Louis dashed up to his room and went straight into his closet where he pulled out a small metal suitcase. He opened it and pulled out a Glock G43 pistol. He put in a magazine and loaded it. He put it in the back of the waist band of his pants then went back downstairs. He grabbed his jacket and put it on as he headed out. He got into his car and sped towards the University. He knew that there was a back entrance that led straight into the dark room of the photo lab then on to the lab itself. Once he got there, he parked the car close to the entrance of the dark room, got out and opened the door. He was fully aware that this door was always kept unlocked. It was an emergency exit since chemicals were used in the dark room to develop pictures. He entered, closed the door behind him and listened. In here it was dark and silent but he could see light under the door that led into the photo lab.

 

He walked towards the door, his heart jack rabbiting in his chest making his ribs hurt. Louis didn't know what he was going to find behind that door. From what he had seen in the video, there was blood on Harry's shirt and jeans and Ryan had.....He shook his head wanting to dispel the image of Ryan jerking off his precious boy while he was tied to a fucking chair with cable ties that were ripping into his delicate wrists. Louis held back his tears because he wasn't going to let this fucker see him weak. He took in a deep breath, steadying himself emotionally before he pushed the door open, the bright lights momentarily blinding him. He stepped inside and his heart stopped and broke at the same time as his eyes rested on his beautiful boy. Harry sat slumped in the chair, still tied to the armrests. His bottom lip was bloody and swollen and cut. His nose was also swollen and bloody and a bad bruise was beginning to form across his cheekbone and under his eye. His shirt and chest were bloody. His jeans were bloody. His jeans was still unbdttones and even though Ryan had apparently tucked him back in, his boxers were low, exposing his pubic hair. His tummy had dried cum on it. Louis wanted to beat the living fuck out of Ryan for daring to touch Harry.

 

'Louis!!!' Ryan greeted him with a happy squeal, clapping his hands together. Harry turned his head and met Louis' gaze. He moved his lips trying to say something but Louis could tell that it pained him to move his mouth. Louis wanted to run to him and hold him. He saw the tears roll down Harry's cheeks and Louis felt his heart being ripped into shreds. Louis tore his eyes away with difficulty from Harry and focused on Ryan who was grinning like a maniac.

 

'How dare you fucking touch him?' Louis growled through clenched teeth. Ryan motioned to the two guys standing beside the door and they walked over to stand behind Harry. Louis stiffened.

 

'Now Louis you are going to play nice or my two good friends here will not hesitate to hurt Harry. It all depends on you.' One of the guys pulled Harry by hair, wrenching his head back painfully. Harry groaned. Louis lunged for him but before he could actually move, the other guy pulled out a knife, placing it at Harry's throat.

 

'Don't you fucking touch him you piece of shit,' Louis screamed.

 

Ryan sighed. 'I wouldn't make any rash movements if I were you, unless you want to see him bleed out all over the floor.' Harry was pleading to Louis with his eyes. Louis stopped moving.

 

'Tell me what you want Ryan but don't hurt him,' Louis told him, his tone softer. Ryan pursed his lips.

 

'That's more like it. Now, what I want is for you to tell this boy of yours how things really are between us and where he stands in all of this,' Ryan told him. Louis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Was he so delusional that he thought that there was something or had ever been anything between them?

 

'What things?' Louis asked him. Ryan gave a small nod to one of his boys. He came in front of Harry and landed his beefy fist in Harry's eye. Harry cried out in pain. Immediately his eye began to swell till it was completely shut.

 

'Don't!' Louis yelled. 'Please don't. Don't.' Louis reached his hands out to Harry as if wanting to hold him but he couldn't!

 

'You did that to him,' Ryan told him calmly. 'I told you to be nice.'

 

'Tell me what the fuck you want,' Louis begged him. 'Tell me what to do and I'll do it, just don't....don't hurt him please.'

 

'This is the last chance I'm giving you to be civil. Now, I want you to show this poor boy here who you really love.' Louis swallowed hard because Ryan must have surely gone crazy somewhere along this lines.

 

'Show?' Louis asked feeling confused. Ryan walked towards Louis and stood before him, their toes touching. Louis felt the sudden urge to shove him back and beat his fist into his face but he didn't want those two to hurt Harry. Ryan traced his hands up Louis' chest and moved closer, his lips hovering very close to Louis' so much that Louis felt his breath on him and he wanted to puke.

 

'Yes Louis show. I want you to fuck me in front of this boy. Show him who you really want.' Louis' eyes went wide.

 

'Are you fucking insane?' he spat and he realized that he had spoken out loud but that came a moment too late because one of the guys beat his fist into Harry's stomach making him bend forward and Harry realized a little too late that there was a sharp knife to his thraot. With the sudden impact of Harry's movement, the knife pierced his skin and blood seeped down his chest. Harry gagged and coughed from the blow to his stomach and threw up all over himself.

 

'Harry,' Louis called out in despair. Ryan rolled his eyes.

 

'If that boy dies from a cut throat it will be all your fault. It will be on you Louis! You need to be taught obedience. You need to listen.' Louis tore his eyes away from Harry and focused on Ryan.

 

'Alright,' he said through gritted teeth.

 

'Louis,' Harry rasped and Louis looked at him with so much pain in his eyes that Harry began crying again.

 

'Good,' Ryan said pleased. 'This boy needs to know that you and I had a relationship and that I was not just your pass time as this whore put it.' At the word whore, Louis' eyes flashed angrily at Ryan but Ryan gave him a smile. 'I'd advise you to watch your mouth. Anything you say can and will hurt your boy.' Louis swallowed all the verbal abuse he wanted to hurl at Ryan. Ryan smiled.

 

'So good to see a submissive Louis.'

 

'I am not submitting to you!' Louis spat at him. 'The only reason I am doing what you are telling me to is that I don't want Harry to be hurt anymore than you have already hurt him!' Ryan shrugged.

 

'Either way you are submitting. Now let's get this over and donw with and when we are done, you and I are leaving to start our life together. If you are good, I will even let you call an ambulance for him once we are on the way.' Louis chanced another look at Harry. He was looking at Louis through his good eye and shaking his head just a tiny bit, telling Louis not to go through with anything Ryan wanted but Louis was not going to risk Harry. If Ryan wanted a fuck, he was going to give it to him. Louis focused on Ryan.

 

'Fine,' Louis said quietly. Ryan clapped his hands happily as he turned to look at Harry.

 

'Now you will see how he has always fucked me and how he will continue to fuck me for the rest of our lives because I'm the one that belongs with him.' Harry struggled and the knife pressed tighter against his Adam's apple.

 

'Louis no! Don't!' Harry rasped. 'Don't do it. Please don't do it.'

 

'Harry,' Louis said softly. 'Its alright. Just stay still and calm alright. Its just a fuck Harry. It means nothing to me. It means nothing baby do you hear? You are what I want not him.' The guy behind Harry came forward and mercilessly rained punches on Harry. 'Stop,' Louis begged almost in tears. 'Just stop. Please don't hurt him anymore. Ryan I'm fucking giving you what you fucking want make them stop. Please.' Ryan played with his nails looking as calm as ever.

 

'You have to mean it Louis. You are being arrogant and we can't have that now can we?'

 

'Alright alright. I'm sorry.' Ryan nodded.

 

'Much better,' he told him as he ran his hand down to Louis' clothed dick. He squeezed him and Louis really didn't want to get hard. He wasn't going to let this motherfucker make him hard and get him to fuck him in front of Harry! Louis grabbed Ryan's wrist stopping his plaming him and looked into his eyes.

 

'You want it like we used to do it hmmm? Do you want me to bend you over a desk, tie you down and fuck you hard till you can't see?' Louis asked him squeezing his wrist hard making Ryan wince. Harry whined in protest not having any real energy to fight anymore.

 

'Yes,' Ryan purred. 'Yes Sir.' Louis commenced to taking off his belt.

 

'Give me your belt,' he instructed Ryan. Ryan took off his belt at once and looked at Harry with a sly grin on his face.

 

'You keep your one good eye open so you won't miss anything. Close your eye, and that knife will cut you. Do you understand?' Harry nodded as more tears rolled out of his eye. 'Tell him Louis. Tell him to keep looking at us.' Louis gave him a small nod.

 

'Harry keep your eyes on me. On me. Do you understand?' Harry nodded and kept his eyes locked on Louis. Louis grabbed Ryan roughly and turned Ryan around facing a desk.

 

'Bend over. Arms over the desk,' Louis instructed and Ryan obeyed. Louis took the belts and tied both Ryan's arms to the desk rendering him immobile. When Louis was sure that Ryan was secure in his bindings and had no way of escaping, he bent over him and whispered in his ear :

 

'You were always the stupidest fuck out of all my boys,' Louis hissed in his ear. He reached back under his jacket and pulled out the Glock which he pointed towards the two guys that were holding Harry.

 

'Back the fuck away from him and drop that knife,' Louis ordered. He heard Ryan struggle and curse but Louis was a master at tying and there was no way Ryan was going to get out of his bindings. The guy holding the knife dropped it immediately and backed away as did the other one.

 

'Now,' Louis told them still pointing the gun at them. 'Take out the fucking cable ties and tie yourselves up to a desk. Hurry the fuck up.' They quickly did as they were told and no sooner where they tied up, Louis placed the gun on the desk next to Harry and crouched down before him.

 

'Baby,' he whispered in a choked up voice. He pulled out his phone and dialed Cal who picked up right away.

 

'Cal call the fucking police and an ambulance. Right now! Quick. Harry is hurt. Hurry.' He let the phone drop to the floor and tried to untie him but the cable ties but they were too tight. Harry whimpered.

 

'Lou,' he whispered.

 

'Shh shh sweetheart I got you. I got you my baby. I am so sorry,' Louis whispered as the tears fell from his eyes.

 

'You won't fucking get away with this!' Ryan yelled. 'I'll expose you. I'll show the world what a monster you truly are! You deserve to be in jail!' Louis ignored Ryan's screams. Right now he was just focused on Harry. He was his main concern. Louis wanted to comfort him but he didn't know where to touch him. Everywhere was swollen and bleeding.

 

'Harry you will be alright. The ambulance is on the way. I'm so sorry Harry. I'm so sorry this happened to you.' Harry tried to speak but when he moved his mouth, his lip cracked open and it started to bleed again. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Don't speak baby. Its going to be alright. I got you.' The ambulance sounded in the distance. Ryan was still cursing and spitting out threats at Harry and Louis but Louis was past hearing him or caring about anything that he was saying. Cal rushed in through the door, followed by the police and paramedics. The medics rushed over to Harry, pushing Louis out of the way as they tended to Harry's injuries. Ryan and his two accomplices where handcuffed and taken away.

 

Louis watched as the medics checked Harry, cutting slowly the cable ties and massaging his fingers that had turned white from lack of circulation. He watched them as they lay him down on the stretcher and wheeled him out. He went with them, grasping Harry's searching hand with his own.

 

'I'm here love. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere,' Louis soothed him. Harry was trying to say something but the paramedic advised him not to speak. They rushed outside into the cold evening air and loaded Harry into the ambulance. Louis was vaguely aware of Cal and Jeremy and their other security waiting outside. The doors to the ambulance closed and they were off, the siren wailing and screaming loudly, so loudly that it made Louis' head hurt. He kept holding Harry's hand until they reached the ER and the medics told him to wait in the waiting room so that they could see to Harry. Louis wanted to protest and fight them because he didn't want to be separated from his Harry and he would've fought them but he felt a pair of hands clasp around his upper arms and hold him back. He struggled in this grasp and cursed the person that was holding him because he had to, needed to go with Harry. He watched Harry being rushed away and the doors to the ER close softly behind them, separating him from Harry. Louis sagged.

 

'I got you,' Walter told him as he led him to a chair and sat him down. Louis sat as if dazed.

 

'He hurt him,' he whispered. 'He hurt him bad. That motherfucker touched him.' Walter sighed.

 

'I know. That's why Cal called me right away. He followed you when you left the house he and waited outside. He alerted Jeremy and they both waited at the door that you went in through. He didn't know what was going on in there but when you called him and asked for the police and an ambulance he called me right away because he knew it was bad. What happened Louis?' Louis rubbed his face with both hands.

 

'He got him. He had him right there in the fucking lab while he was working. He had him tied to the chair and....and....' Louis stopped because it hurt too much to think what Harry had gone through at Ryan's hands.

 

'And what Louis? I need to know everything if you are going to press charges against this asshole.' Louis swallowed.

 

'He sent me a video of him...touching Harry against his will.'

 

'Fuck,' Walter hissed. 'Did Ryan....you know...did he?' Louis looked at him because he knew what Walter was implying.

 

'No. It didn't get that far. I don't know why he would do that to him because its me he wanted. We have to wait until Harry can tell us everything that happened. In the mean time, proceed. I want that bastard incarcerated.'

 

'Oh don't you worry about that. I am going to charge him on so many accounts, I'm positive he won't get less than twenty years in prison.' Louis looked at him.

 

'Charge him on any account possible. I want him to pay for what he did to Harry. He didn't come after me Walt. He went after him and he hurt him.' Louis choked back a sob. Walter squeezed his shoulder tightly.

 

'He will pay Louis. I will make sure of it. He won't walk the streets for a long time.' Louis nodded because he couldn't speak. His throat felt tight and it hurt and he wanted to see Harry. Hold his baby close. He sat in silence and Walter sat with him. Louis was impatient and kept asking the nurses what was taking so long and why couldn't he just go in and see Harry. He yelled and cursed and threatened to sue the hospital if they didn't let him go in and see Harry. Finally, Walter calmed him down by suggesting to Louis that he should call Harry's friends and inform them what had happened. Louis did that and called Niall. He spent some time talking to him and explaining to him what had happened. Niall informed him that he would tell the others and that they would come down as soon as possible.

 

As Louis hung up, a doctor walked out of the examination room and headed towards him. 'Mr. Tomlinson?' he asked the two men and Louis stood up quickly.

 

'How is he?' he asked.

 

'He is alright. His injuries are all superficial. Nothing internal. No broken ribs. No stitches needed. He will just be sore and bruised for a couple of days. I will give him something for the pain but other than that, he's good to go.' Louis sighed in relief.

 

'Can I see him please?' he asked. The doctor nodded and motioned for Louis to follow him but before they walked away, Walter got the doctor's attention.

 

'I will need a full report of Harry's injuries. I need you to write down everything he has suffered at their hands.' The doctor looked at him.

 

'And you are?' he asked.

 

'I am Mr. Tomlinson's lawyer and my client will be pressing charges against his partner's abducter and abuser. We will be going to court so I need you to give me in full detail everything that Harry went through at his hands. I will also need pictures of his injuries.' The doctor nodded.

 

'The pictures have already been taken the moment he was admitted and I saw that his injuries where not from an accident. It is procedure here that if a patient suffers injuries consistent with an attack, we take pictures to document said attack which we then forward to the police if a report will be made. I will have a full document of Mr. Styles' injuries for you right away.' Walter nodded at him and they shook hands. The doctor took Louis through the ER to an examination room and walked inside, Louis following closely. Harry was sitting on the examination table looking....horrible! Half his face was swollen and purple. His eye was fully closed and almost black. His nose was swollen and purple and he had a butterfly stitch on his split lip which was also very swollen.

 

'Harry!' the doctor greeted him. 'Ready to go home? You need to rest alright. Take a few days to heal.' The doctor turned to Louis. 'Make sure his face is iced a few times a day. Put ice on his eye, nose and lip to help the swelling go down. The bruising and cut will take a bit longer to heal but the swelling should start to go down in a day or two. His injured eye is fine. No internal damage has been done to it. He's got some bruising on his stomach and ribs. Those are the ones that will take a little longer to heal. Try to keep him from moving too much. Go light on food. Nothing too heavy. If he experiences any vomiting or complains of dizziness, please bring him in right away. Any questions?' Louis kept looking at Harry, his mouth a little open, his eyes grief stricken and Harry was looking the same way back at Louis. The doctor cleared his throat.

 

'I'll give you some time while I prepare my report for your lawyer,' he told them, giving them one last look before exiting the room. As soon as they were alone, Louis moved towards Harry as if he was in a dream not really believing that Ryan had dared to hurt him this much. Ever so gently, Louis took his hand in his. Harry's wrists were both bandaged. Louis raised his hand to his lips and placed a kiss on his palm.

 

'How could he do this to you? I'm so sorry,' Louis whispered against Harry's warm palm. 'I am so very sorry I did not protect you enough. I'm so sorry this happened to you.' Harry reached out for him and Louis moved even closer to him, stepped in between his spread thighs and gently wrapped him into a hug, trying not to squeeze him too much. Harry relaxed in Louis' embrace and let him hold him as he melted into his touch that he needed so much right now. He began to cry softly and Louis felt him shake against his chest. He pulled back and looked into his face. Tears were streaming down his cheeks even through his swollen eye. Louis felt a lump close up his throat. He kissed Harry's forehead as it was the only place on his face that wasn't bruised. Harry looked at him through blurry eyes.

 

'I-I'm s-sorry,' he said slowly and carefully making sure not to move his lip too much. Louis looked at him with furrowed brows.

 

'For what? You didn't do anything....'

 

'I did,' Harry cut him off, speaking even more slowly than his usual way of speaking. He was dragging the words out because his lip was too swollen and it hurt too much when he moved it. Louis opened his mouth to protest but Harry held up his hand indicating for him to stop talking.

 

'Please,' he whispered. 'Let me speak.' Louis closed his mouth and nodded. Harry sighed. 'I should've listened to you. I should've come home when you told me to. I am stubborn and I don't listen. I-I am so sorry Louis. I-I d-didn't mean to let him do that to me. I-I didn't want to... I-I tired hard to hold back like you taught me how but...but he....he just....I'm so so sorry.' Harry covered his bruised face and began to sob quietly. Louis stood motionless for a beat because yes, Ryan had touched his boy and had made him come but that was hardly Harry's fault. Louis wrapped him in his arms again and held the back of his head, keeping him tightly to his chest.

 

'Shh shh it's not your fault. He's an animal. He wanted to get to me so he got you. What he did, its not your fault. None of it is. You had no control over the situation. I don't want you blaming yourself for any of it do you hear me?' Louis pulled back and looked into his lovers beaten up face. He cupped his cheeks ever so gently, avoiding all the bruises and cuts the best he could. Harry kept his eyes down.

 

'Hey look at me,' Louis told him softly. Harry raised his eyes, the swollen one hurting every time he moved his eyeball behind the lid. Louis gave him a small smile. 'It is not your fault alright. He took something from you that he knew belonged to me. You had no choice but to give it up. HE made you give it up. He took it without your consent and THAT is not your fault. Sometimes our body betrays us and I don't want you to feel guilty about it Harry. You had no choice in the matter. Your body acted naturally when stimulated. Please don't feel bad about it. Don't let it. Don't let him do this.' Harry sniffed.

 

'I-I feel like I-I cheated on you,' he whimpered. Louis gave him a fond look and leaned in, placing a kiss on the side of his mouth that was not injured.

 

'Sweetheart you did not cheat on me. You didn't do it willingly or intentionally. I-I saw the video that prick sent me. You had absolutely no choice so please please Harry don't blame yourself. Don't let this come between us.' Harry kept looking at Louis.

 

'A-are you going to l-look at me differently now?'

 

'No I am not. Why would I baby? Let's get you home yeah. You need a bath and lots of sleep.' Louis let his face go but before he moved away, Harry grabbed his wrist.

 

'Are you going to fire Jeremy? It's not his fault Louis. He- he didn't know that Ryan would accost me here. He kept me safe. Please don't fire him.' Louis patted Harry's hand that was holding his wrist reassuringly.

 

'I know baby and no I'm not going to fire him.' Harry gave him a small smile careful not to split his lip open again.

 

'Thank you.' The door opened and the doctor walked back in followed by a nurse wheeling a wheelchair.

 

'Okay Mr. Tomlinson, Harry is ready for release. Here is my report for your lawyer along with the photographs I took. If your lawyer or the police should need any follow up questions or a statement from me, I placed my card in the folder so I can be reached. I just need you to come with me to the front desk so you can sign the release forms. The nurse will wheel Harry out.' Louis shook hands with the doctor. The nurse helped Harry down from the examniation table and into the wheelchair.

 

Once outside in the reception area, Niall, Liam and Zayn came rushing towards them, asking a million question and fretting over Harry. When Louis signed the papers, he explained to them in more detail what had happened, leaving out things that did not concern them, him and Harry exchanging occasional glances that was their way of silently communicating. Then Louis told them that he had to get Harry home as he needed to ice his face and get him to bed.

 

Outside they were met by Cal and a grief stricken looking Jeremy who looked at Harry as if he was ready to burst into tears. Then he looked at Louis.

 

'Sir I am so sorry......' Louis lifted his hand to stop Jeremy from speaking. Jeremy stopped immediately and looked down.

 

'Its not your fault. You were doing your job. No one knew that Ryan was going to corner him at the Uni. We were all sure that Harry was safe. He must have known a way in without being detected. Please, just get us home. Harry needs to rest.' Jeremy nodded and he helped Harry out of the wheelchair and into the back of the car. As he helped him, he looked at his beaten face.

 

'I am so sorry I let you down Harry,' Jeremy said softly, his voice all choked up. Harry smiled at him the best he could.

 

'Its not your fault Jer. You did great. Thank you for everything.' Jeremy simply nodded at him as Louis got in the back with Harry, holding close to him as Jeremy got in the driver's seat and drove them home.

 

HOPE YOU LIKED THAT CHAPTER.


	32. Two Hearts In One Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Many infinite thank yous for your reads and the wonderful encouraging comments you send me that really help to boost my confidence regarding my writing. I can never say enough thank yous. I apologize if I don't reply right away to your messages. In all honesty I am not fully aware how AO3 works so sometimes I miss things. But I discovered that I can find my unread messages on my home page? Silly me lol. So I will do my best to reply. Also some of you have expressed the desire to follow me on Twitter. I thank you. For those of you who wish it, my Twitter is @50ShadesofMags and please if you follow me let me know who you are. I truly appreciate you all. I'll let you go so you can read the chapter and I sincerely hope you like it.  
> All the love always, M.

Two Hearts in One Home.

 

 

A week later, Harry was doing much better. The swelling in his face had all gone down but he still had blue bruises under his eyes, round his nose and lip but he looked more like himself than he had in the past few days. Louis had taken a few days off work and had looked after him, icing his face, pampering him and enjoying his boy, glad that he was back home safe and sound and that Ryan was behind bars. They had refrained from any love making due to Harry's bruised ribs.

 

Today was Harry's birthday and Louis was very excited. He had gotten up earlier, letting Harry sleep in and went downstairs to the kitchen where he asked Judy if she could make him a special breakfast for Harry which Louis wanted to take up to him in bed. Judy had smiled big and set about working to make a birthday breakfast for Harry, while Louis read the newspaper and sipped a cup of coffee. Judy passed him a plate of breakfast which Louis accepted and thanked her for. As he was eating, his phone rang and he could see that it was Walter calling even though it was not yet nine in the morning. Louis swiped his phone.

 

'Good morning Walt,' Louis greeted him.

 

'Louis and a good morning it is. How is Harry?' Walter told him cheerfully. Louis swallowed a piece of toast.

 

'He is better. Much better. Today its his birthday and I am planning things for him.'

 

'That's wonderful. Pass on my regards to the birthday boy. And also pass on the news that we will be going to court in a month. After Ryan was booked and his finger prints taken they were matched to the finger prints the police found on the threatening notes that were left for Harry and they match. As much as he was careful not to leave prints well, he slipped. He was the one that had been threatening Harry all along so there are multiple counts Ryan is being charged on. However, there is one thing I needed to talk to you about.' Walter paused and Louis could feel the heaviness in that pause. Dread pooled in the bottom of his stomach.

 

'What is it Walt?' Louis asked him a little distressed. He really wanted nothing to spoil today.

 

'Besides the obvious charges that Ryan will be charged with, kidnapping, assault, battery, blackmail etc etc etc, are we going to charge him with rape also?' Louis nearly choked on his toast.

 

'What?' He heard Walter sigh.

 

'Louis, what he did to Harry, that was against his will. I saw the video. He was tied to the damn chair while he sexually abused him. If we show that video....'

 

'No!' Louis stopped him immediately. 'No. You can't do that! Harry will be mortified if that video is shown.'

 

'Louis that video can get him more time....'

 

'Walt no! Harry will not want everyone to know what that bastard did to him. He was already in the news with all that shit about my case. You know how it broke him. You were there! He had to run away from the shame and abuse he got for it. This will....no Walt.'

 

'Did you ask him though?' It was Louis' turn to sigh now, feeling like he was explaining to a child why he couldn't have candy before dinner.

 

'He will say no. I know for sure. We are of the same mind on this.'

 

'Maybe he won't!' Walter pressed. Louis rubbed the bridge of his nose.

 

'Walter listen to me. We are not going public with this. On all other accounts please feel free to go on ahead but this is a sensitive matter. During the rape hearing, all the exposure killed Harry and after all that, he really doesn't need to go through it again. He is not strong enough to endure more humiliation. If that video is shown, he will be mortified! Please Walt, let's respect his dignity and keep this private.'

 

'Alright if that is what you want. He will go down on all other charges and he will get years for what he did but as your lawyer and Harry's, it is my duty to legally advise you on all the options you have. I will keep you informed on the proceedings.'

 

'Thank you Walt. I really appreciate everything.' Louis hung up just as Judy came back carrying a silver bed tray. The tray was covered with a white doiley and on it was a plate with pancakes covered in maple syrup just as Harry loved them, with a side of blueberries and strawberries, a glass of orange juice, tea and a red rose in a long glass.

 

'Wow Judy that's amazing,' Louis complimented her. Judy smiled happily.

 

'You're welcome Sir. Anything for the birthday boy.' Louis picked up the tray and went upstairs to wake his sleeping boy. When he entered the bedroom, Harry was just stirring and he opened his eyes slowly when he heard the door to the bedroom open. He smiled sleepily as Louis walked in and placed the tray beside his bed. Louis bent over him.

 

'Happy birthday sweetheart. Welcome to your twenty first year of life,' Louis told him and kissed him gently. Harry smiled into the kiss.

 

'Thank you,' he rasped in his still sleepy voice. Louis kissed him again.

 

'How are you feeling?'

 

'Old,' Harry said, a sleepy smile playing on his lips. Louis pecked his lips.

 

'Twenty one is not old and I meant how are you feeling physically?' Harry smiled up at him, his eyes still full of sleep.

 

'Better.' Louis smiled and traced the faint shadows of bruises on his face.

 

'I love you,' Louis whispered reverently against his lips and Harry smiled again.

 

'And I you,' he replied.

 

'Sit up, I got you breakfast.' Harry sat up as Louis pulled back the curtains. No sun shone through. It was another overcast day in London but his sun sat in their bed waiting for his breakfast and that was all the sunshine Louis needed in his life. He placed the tray on Harry's lap. Louis sat down beside him on the bed and watched him eat.

 

'What do you want to do today?' Louis asked him. 'Let me just tell you before hand that I booked us for dinner tonight and that I will be giving you your birthday present before dinner but I left the morning free for you to choose to do whatever it is you wish to do. Its your birthday after all.' Harry swallowed the food he had been chewing.

 

'You didn't have to get me a birthday present Lou. You give me so much already. And I have you. You are my present for a lifetime.' Louis looked at him fondly. He loved this boy so much. Harry didn't give a shit about his wealth. He never asked for anything and was very content with little. Louis was fairly sure he was going to throw a major ass hissy fit when he saw his birthday present later tonight.

 

'You know me,' Louis told him, 'I always like to get you a little something. But let's not discuss your present. What do you want to do today?' Harry took a sip of his juice, thinking.

 

'Well, I do need to buy some books for leisure reading as I'm running out so maybe we could go to the bookstore and after maybe we could have a little walk around London, have tea or lunch somewhere. I just want to be with you Lou. Anything is good but I really need to buy some books.' Louis gave him a happy smile.

 

'Then that's settled. We'll have a leisure morning then come back here for a rest because Angus will be driving us at six in the evening to our dinner location. After dinner and your present, I have a surprise for you which I know you are going to love.' Harry groaned.

 

'You really spoil me Lou. You don't have to do so much for me.' Harry told him gratefully. Louis pecked his lips.

 

'Oh shush. Finish up and get dressed. We shouldn't be wasting your birthday sitting here chatting. Come on chop chop.' Harry giggled, put the tray aside and got out of bed, quickly following Louis into the bathroom for a shower.

 

 

X

 

 

They passed a relatively relaxing morning. Louis took Harry to Waterstones and watched him go crazy. It was the only time Louis actually saw Harry getting excited about a shopping spree even though Harry would not allow Louis to pay for the dozen books he had chosen. When they exited the shop Harry looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

 

After that, they decided to be tourists for the day. Harry had told Louis that even though he had been in London for a year he hadn't had the time to see any of it so Louis took him round to places of interest including a ride up in The London Eye. Louis had requested a pod just for themselves and had paid extra to have the wheel stopped at the top for five minutes. He had watched Harry exclaim and point at locations he recognized then when the wheel stopped, Louis had taken him in his arms and kissed with London and the River Thames at their feet.

 

When they got off The London Eye, they walked hand in hand past the Big Ben then they walked all the way to Buckingham Palace and went for a stroll through St James Park where Harry fed the ducks and went giddy feeding the squirrels who were not shy or afraid of people. When Harry was done fawning over the ducks, they resumed their walk up to Trafalgar Square and on to Piccadilly Circus. From there, Louis took him through Leicester Square and on to Covent Garden where they had a quiet intimate lunch at Jamie Oliver's Secret Basement Bar.

 

While they were eating, Harry received a call from Niall asking if they could meet up with him as they had gifts for him. Harry looked at Louis and Louis told him to invite them over to the house for tea which Harry did happily. After they finished their lunch, Harry wanted to pop over to Neal's Yard to get a Geranium and Orange body lotion, a Wild Rose moisturizer and a few aromatherapy oils, which Harry explained to Louis he would use to give him a good massage, going on to inform Louis when he gave him a skeptical look, that he was in fact very good with his hands. Louis smiled and shook his head but walked with Harry to the shop. When Harry was done, Louis called Angus to come and pick them up from Seven Dials where they had an ice-cream while they waited.

 

When Angus picked them up, Louis cuddled Harry all the way home and Harry was happy. Shortly after they got home, Niall, Liam and Zayn arrived all bearing gifts. Judy made them tea and snacks and they all lounged in the living room spoiling Harry rotten. Louis sat with them, enjoying watching Harry laugh and open presents but he was impatient for their night together. He looked at his watch. It was already a little after four in the afternoon. He would give them another ten minutes then tell Harry that they had to start getting ready for the evening.

 

 

X

 

Louis waited for Harry to get ready downstairs in the living room. He wondered what was taking him so long to get ready! He looked at his watch again and saw that it was almost six. Angus would be here any minute with the car to drive them to their dinner.

 

The sound of hurried footsteps stomping down the stairs brought Louis' head up.

 

'Took you long enough....' and he stopped! He stopped and forgot what he was going to say as his eyes landed on Harry. He forgot how to breathe, how to blink and how to function. Harry stood there, looking at him with big green eyes and a small smile on his face. His cheeks were tinted pink and Louis couldn't get his brain to work enough to wonder if Harry was flushed because he had run down the stairs or because he was shy under Louis' stare.

 

'Is...is it too much?' Harry asked quietly suddenly feeling self conscious. Had he over dressed? Louis was dressed in a dark grey suit, white shirt and no tie. Harry touched his clothes, his cheeks burning as Louis continued to stare at him, with his mouth slightly open. Eventually Louis got his mind to work. He swallowed and shook himself out of his reverie.

 

'N-no. You...you are. Oh my God you are beautiful,' Louis whispered reverently as if he was praying in church. And Harry smiled. He did look beautiful. Earlier in the day, Louis had taken him shopping (much against Harry's protests) and they had ended up in a Gucci store (and even though Harry had protested with all his might, Louis had ended up having his way with him and dragging him into the store) Louis had told him not to pout and go pick out a suit for the night but to keep it a surprise for him till later that night. And damn, surprise him he did!

 

Harry wore black pants with sparkling crystals down the outside length of the leg. He had a white see through shirt that was open all the way down to his stomach, revealing his butterfly tattoo and he had on a pink jacket with sparkling crystals that matched the ones on the pants. The jacket had black lapels and intricate embroidered gold designs on it. Louis couldn't even draw in a deep enough breath to get oxygen to his brain. Harry's hair was all thick curls, pushed off of his face. The bruising on his face was minimal even though it was still there.

 

Harry cleared his throat because Louis was still standing there gawking at him.

 

'You like?' Harry asked him as he did a little twirl, the smile never leaving his lips because he was liking the way Louis was looking at him.

 

'Very,' Louis mumbled. He cleared his throat. 'You are very beautiful.'

 

Harry giggled. 'You already told me that,' he told Louis shyly. Louis walked over to him and very cautiously wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled him closer. He placed a kiss to the side of Harry's neck, inhaling the new Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille perfume Louis had gotten him "as a birthday present" just to get Harry to not throw a hissy fit. The hissy fit had to be saved for later!

 

'God you smell divine,' Louis complimented him. Harry smiled wider, closed his eyes and titled his head back giving Louis more access which Louis immediately took advantage of. He placed kisses up Harry's long exposed neck, his fingers that were around his waist tracing circles in the soft material of the shirt just above the waistline of Harry's pants. Harry made a soft whimpering sound which urged Louis on. Harry groaned again as Louis sucked the skin beneath his ear, not hard enough to leave a bruise but effective enough to make Harry's body stir and respond.

 

'Louis please,' Harry whined out a warning. He was so gone for Louis that a simple touch made his body crave Louis. Louis pulled back and when he looked at Harry, both their pupils were large and dark with desire. Louis kissed him softly, always careful not to hurt his healing lip.

 

'I haven't touched you for a week,' Louis murmured against his lips. 'I'm aching for you and seeing you like this, the way you smell, God I want you so much.' Harry inhaled sharply at Louis' words. Louis could turn him on with just his words. He shuddered.

 

'I want you too,' he said quietly but their moment was broken when Leonard entered the room and cleared his throat to get his boss's attention. Louis rolled his eyes then crossed them at Harry, pulling a funny face.

 

'Cockblock,' he whispered in Harry's ear, making him laugh out loud to which Harry clasped at hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. 'Yes Leonard?' Louis asked, not bothering to mask his irritation at being disturbed from an intimate moment with his boy.

 

'Sir, Angus has brought the car around so whenever you are ready,' Leonard informed him. Louis remained with his back to Leonard, his lustful fond eyes trained on Harry's face.

 

'We will be right there. Thank you,' Louis dismissed him. Leonard left and it was then that Louis backed away from Harry but never breaking eye contact with his beautiful boy not missing how flushed he was. Louis loved how Harry responded to him, to his touch. Louis took Harry's hand and laced his fingers through his.

 

'Come on, let's go. We have all night.' Harry nodded and let Louis lead him outside and into the Bentley. Once they were seated, Louis produced a satin blindfold from the inside breast pocket of his jacket.

 

'I'm going to need you to wear this,' Louis told him, dangling the blindfold from his index finger. Harry eyed the blindfold suspiciously with a confused look on his face. Louis chuckled. 'Harry, as much as I'd like to be a kinky fuck with you right now and corrupt that wide eyed innocent look on your face, my intentions are pure and very far from kinky. The place we are going to is a surprise.'

 

'Alright,' Harry agreed and Louis eased the purple silk blindfold over his eyes, cutting off Harry's sense of sight and plunging him into darkness. Harry took in a deep shuddering breath because he remembered the last time that Louis had blindfolded him. He squirmed in his seat at the memories of that hot night. He felt his blood pump in his veins from want and desire.

 

'Louis,' Harry whispered.

 

'I'm here baby,' Louis told him as he took his hand in his.

 

'I want you,' Harry rasped out a little breathlessly. Louis leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek.

 

'You will have me soon enough honey. I'll be all yours later. Just yours,' Louis told him, his lips brushing Harry's jaw, making him squirm even more. Harry moved closer, blindly searching for Louis' lips but Louis moved back.

 

'Louis,' Harry whined in frustration.

 

'Patience sweetheart and your reward will be great. I promise you.' Harry pouted but obeyed Louis because Louis never disappointed him. Louis held his hand, lightly rubbing soothing circles on the back of Harry's hand. He knew how needy Harry could get, how easily he could be turned on and how impatient he got when aroused. Louis loved to get him all worked up but tonight Louis had other plans for Harry. Tonight, he wanted it to be special for both of them.

 

The drive was relatively quiet, with Harry occasionally squirming in his seat and huffing out his impatience. But Louis kept him grounded and steady. Eventually they arrived at their destination and the car stopped.

 

'We are here,' Louis told him.

 

'Can I take the blindfold off?' Harry asked him.

 

'Not just yet,' Louis told him. 'You are being very impatient tonight. Do I have to punish you Harry? I really don't want to punish you on your birthday but I will if you continue to misbehave.' Harry's head immediately bowed a little when he heard Louis' tone admonishing him.

 

'No Sir. I- I'm just nervous.'

 

'About?' Louis asked him. He didn't mean to make him nervous. It wasn't his intention to make him nervous on his birthday. If anything, he was nervous because he didn't know what Harry's reaction to his gift will be. Well, he had an inkling but still, he was nervous.

 

'I don't know what to expect,' Harry explained honestly. Louis chuckled.

 

'That's the element of a surprise love.' Harry scoffed at Louis.

 

'Knowing you its something extravagant!'

 

'I can't see your eyes but I am pretty sure you just rolled them at me. Are you begging to be punished Harry because I can punish you for hours....' Louis told him as he leaned in and nibbled at the skin of Harry's throat. 'And hours....' He sucked at his jaw. 'And hours....' He licked his Adam's apple as he squeezed the top of Harry's inner thigh just at the junction of his groin, making Harry jump and moan simultaneously. 'And hours.'

 

'Ill behave. I'll behave. Please don't torture me like this,' Harry begged him, his voice needy.

 

'Good boy,' Louis praised him as he placed a chaste kiss on his lips. 'Now I'm going to lead you okay. Follow my voice and do as I tell you. Do you understand?'

 

'Yes,' Harry was quick to reply. He was agitated in a good way and eager to see his surprise. Inside his head he was thinking : surprise extravagant birthday party Louis style. He was preparing himself to hear everyone yell "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" and how he was going to act all surprised. He heard the car door open, breaking him out of his thoughts and he felt Louis move away from him but still holding his hand.

 

'Head down,' Louis instructed him as he helped him out of the car. Harry was glad to be out of the car and he strained to listen for any sounds that might indicate where they were or what the surprise was but there was nothing. He heard the car start up and drive away.

 

Louis tugged on his hand gently and Harry placed one foot blindly in front of the other, trusting Louis to not let him fall. Gravel crunched underneath his Gucci loafers. Where had Louis brought him?

 

'Okay we are going to go up two steps Harry. Careful now.' Harry felt about with the toe of his foot and when he found the step, he raised his foot and let Louis guide him. He almost missed the second one and he stumbled a little but Louis caught him. He steadied him with his arm around his waist.

 

'Nearly there,' Louis encouraged him. 'Just a few more steps,' Harry huffed a little and he heard Louis chuckle softly beside him. Then Louis stopped.

 

'Here we are,' he said softly.

 

'Am I allowed to see now?' Harry begged him.

 

'Yes,' Louis said. Harry reached for the blindfold to take it off. 'But,' Louis continued and Harry stilled his hand on the blindfold.

 

'But what?' Harry asked impatiently.

 

'But you have to promise me that you won't freak out,' Louis told him. Harry puffed out a breath.

 

'What did you do Lou?' Harry asked him.

 

'Just promise me,' Louis insisted, 'then you can take the blindfold off!' Harry sighed in resignation.

 

'I promise,' he told him. Louis hummed to himself.

 

'Just so you know, I recorded that on my phone just so I can have proof that....'

 

'Oh for fuck's sake Louis!' Harry exclaimed in irritation. 'Can we get on with it?'

 

'Alright alright,' Louis told him. 'Take it off.' Louis took a few steps back away from Harry and braced himself. Harry took off the blindfold and blinked in the bright lights. When his eyes adjusted to the light, the first things he saw was Louis' face, a mix of fear and excitement in his huge expectant blue eyes. Then Harry looked around expecting everyone to jump out from somewhere and yell "Surprise" but the beautiful foyer with the marble floors remained silent. He was confused now! What was the surprise? This foyer seemed familiar to him. And wait! He had been here before. He knew that he had been here before! He turned to look at Louis and found Louis standing beside him, handing him a black leather folder.

 

'Happy birthday Harry,' he told him, his voice full of excitement and dread at the same time. Harry noticed that the hand holding out the folder towards him was shaking a little. Harry took the folder from Louis still not understanding what was going on and opened it. Inside there was a deed. With his name on it! For the house in Hampstead! The house that they had viewed a while back and which cost millions! Harry's eyes met Louis' as recognition of what Louis had done dawned on Harry. His mouth opened, closed and opened again. He swallowed, trying to form words, to make his lips work but his brain was struggling with what Louis had done.

 

'You didn't,' he breathed out quietly. Louis braced himself.

 

Here it comes! Here it comes! Here it comes!

 

Louis gulped and offered him a small smile and a shrug by way of explanation.

 

'Louis you fucking didn't!' Harry cried out, his loud voice reverbrating and booming in the large foyer. 'You didn't just fucking give me......'

 

'I did Harry,' Louis cut him off. 'You loved this house. I saw it on your face when we viewed it! And you promised not to freak out and you are freaking out!'

 

'Louis!' Harry shrieked. 'It fucking costs millions!' Louis shrugged as if what Harry just said made no sense at all.

 

'You're worth it!' Harry shook his head in frustration and pushed the folder back towards Louis.

 

'You have to return it!' he told him sternly. Louis began to laugh softly and Harry glared at him a little angrily. 'This is not funny Louis Tomlinson!' Louis tried to stop laughing but he just couldn't! Harry was just so cute. Even angry he was cute!

 

'In fact it is. You can't return a house Harry! This is not some suit or a pair of shoes you changed your mind about and go to have them exchanged or return them. There's a lot of legal work put in a sale like this. Non-refundable!' Harry covered his face with both hands then ran his hands through his curls in frustration.

 

'No Louis you have to give it back. I mean it. This...this is too much. Why can't you just be a normal boyfriend and buy me a book for my birthday like normal boyfriends do? Or aftershave? Oh wait! You fucking got me a one hundred fifty pound bottle of perfume this morning!! Or maybe buy me socks hmmm? Noooo you have to buy me a fucking mansion!' Louis took a few steps back away from Harry, who's face was red with exertion. He tried not to giggle at the amount of swear words Harry was using. Louis found it adorably cute when Harry swore.

 

'I'm going to allow you this hissy fit. I know its too much for you to take in and you earned it. I will be right here by the stairs for when you are done with it.' Harry tugged at his curls in frustration. He glared at Louis, his face flushed, his eyes glistening, making the green of his irisis very vibrant. He was breathing a little too harshly and Louis could see that Harry was in serious distress.

 

'Its not right Louis. So not right,' Harry told him. 'I will not accept this. I am putting my foot down on this!' Louis narrowed his eyes at Harry. He wasn't exactly angry. He was more overwhelmed with emotions than angry. He could work with that.

 

'Harry,' Louis said softly.

 

'No!' Harry stopped him. 'You will not make me keep it! You bought me this Gucci out fit that cost thousands! You bought me a bottle of cologne that costs 150 pounds now this? No. You have to give it back I mean it Louis Tomlinson!' Louis sighed heavily and strolled over towards him till he was just inches away from him. He knew how Harry felt about Louis spoiling him and giving him expensive things. They needed a house anyway so why was he being so stubborn about it? He only gifted him a house for God's sake!

 

'Please baby I don't want you to be upset on your birthday,' Louis tried to reason with him. Harry folded his arms across his chest and pouted hard like a child, making Louis want to kiss him but he didn't dare just yet. 'I can't give it back. The sale has been made. Papers have been signed a few days ago between the seller and myself and our lawyers. This is legally your house!' Harry's breathing increased and Louis knew that he was trying hard not to cry. He had overwhelmed him! Fuck!

 

'This is too much Louis. You...you know how I feel....'

 

'I know,' Louis cut him off. 'I know you don't like me buying you things but we needed a home regardless and I thought....'

 

'Then why is my name only on the deed since WE as a couple needed a house?' Harry argued, his voice all choked up.

 

'Because,' Louis began patiently, 'I wanted to gift you this house Harry and....' he paused and looked at Harry with the softest gaze he could muster. 'If something should ever happen to me or....or to us, I want you to be taken care of. I am securing your future. This house can be sold for more than what I paid for it. I made sure that Walter will see to it should the need arise that you will have to sell it....'

 

'Stop talking!' Harry snapped at him. 'Just....just stop fucking talking!' Louis knew Harry wasn't saying that out of anger. He was feeling too much. Louis took his hand in his own. It was cold and clammy.

 

'Harry just listen. Please. This house is me taking care of you for the rest of your life even if I'm not in it. I don't know what the future holds for us but I want to make sure that should I not be in your future, you will be well taken care of. I need that peace of mind Harry. Please let me have it. However, I would like it very very much if you would let me live here with you as your partner,' Louis told him, his voice honey soft and his eyes the fondest blue Harry had ever seen. Harry remained silent because he was feeling too much and his gaze on Louis projecting nothing short of the devotion he felt for him. Louis could see that Harry was losing his resolve and he squeezed his hand gently, then raised his hand and kissed his knuckles. Harry took in a deep shuddering breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'I will accept this house only on one condition,' Harry said. 'Well, two actually.' Louis raised a questioning eyebrow at him. Nobody ever dared to put conditions on him. Harry was unique.

 

'I'm listening,' Louis told him, not sure he would like Harry's conditions or even agree to them but he was willing to compromise or at least listen to what he had to say. Harry nodded and licked his lips, his hand still clutched in Louis' own.

 

'I- I want your name on the deed too. I want this to be OUR house legally. OUR home. Not just my house and you living in it with me. I cannot and will not accept that.' Louis kept his eyes on him, listening intently to every word Harry was saying.

 

'Go on,' he urged him. Harry swallowed.

 

'Also I would like to point out that I am not comfortable with you taking care of me. You are my partner not my husband.' Louis scoffed.

 

'What's the difference? We are practically married. We live together and share a life. What you're saying is that if we had a legal piece of paper stating that we are married, as your husband you would let me take care of you and spoil you without you throwing hissy fits? That's absurd Harry. We don't need no fucking piece of paper from City Hall.' Harry rolled his eyes.

 

'As legally married couples, they are bound to take care of each other, making them equals. Still, if we were to enter marriage, which I know we won't, I would ask you to let me sign a pre-nup just so you know for sure that I don't care about your wealth.' Louis looked at him in disbelief.

 

'Are you fucking kidding me?' he asked him a little offended. 'Is it so bad that I want to share what I have with you? Is it bad that I want to give you a comfortable life?'

 

'No its not but I don't feel comfortable.' Harry waved a hand around the expanse of the foyer. 'This is too much for me Louis. This is not the way I was brought up. Yes, my dad was a business man and we lived a comfortable life in a comfortable house but I was brought up to work for what want in life. I had to earn it and here you are giving me a house that costs millions. I can never reciprocate all of this. I can never give you.....'

 

'Baby you do give me,' Louis told him, his voice pleading. 'You give me something that's worth more than my billions. You Harry, give me love. You give me life. You give me freedom. If anything, I am the one that can never repay you. And why are we even discussing marriage and fucking pre-nups? Were we to get married, I would never put a pre-nup to you even if you fucking begged for it or threatened me. We are equal Harry. I may be rich in money but you are rich in things that money cannot buy and you give them to me freely and abundantly and you never hear me complain do you? I take them because I know you are not selfish and give me all that you have with love. Tell me, what's your other condition?' Harry chewed gently on his bottom lip making it red and making Louis want to take it between his own lips and bite down hard on it.

 

'I will accept this house if you put it in a will. The only way I will agree to this house ever being mine is if I inherit it after....after well you know....'

 

'After I die!' Louis finished for him a little annoyed. Louis shook his head. 'Jesus Harry. What if we split up?'

 

'The house will remain yours.' Louis huffed.

 

'But that's not what I want! I want you to have it as your own as security for your future.' Louis argued. Harry shook his head slightly.

 

'Those are my terms and conditions Louis. I will only accept the house through inheritance. Besides, I am not leaving you unless you stop loving me and send me away. I want to be with you Louis for the remainder of my life, however long that maybe and I know that while I am with you, you will take care of me and spoil me regardless even if I, as you so kindly put it, throw hissy fits which by the way I do not. My complaints are justified not mere hissy fits! I know it's in your nature to spoil me extravagantly like its in mine to feel uncomfortable with these extravagances. I truly appreciate all that you do for me and all that you give me but I only want you! Not your wealth. Just you. Please accept my conditions.' Louis pondered Harry's words for a minute.

 

'So if I agree to your terms and conditions, you will say yes to this house and make a home with me here?' Louis asked him hopefully. Harry met Louis' blue hopeful eyes and gave him a small smile.

 

'Yes I will,' he told him softly. Louis sighed in relief. He gave him a smile and ran the back of his hand down Harry's warm cheek.

 

'Then I say yes to your terms and conditions. Welcome home baby and happy birthday.' Harry flung himself into Louis' arms. Louis caught him and hugged him tightly.

 

'I love you,' Harry whispered in his neck. 'I love you so much.' Louis hugged him tighter to his chest, feeling Harry's rapid heartbeat beating against his own chest.

 

'I love you too,' Louis whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He pulled back from the hug and looked into Harry's face. 'We will be happy here Harry.' Harry nodded, his eyes glistening with tears. Louis kissed his face. 'I will make sure we will be happy. You deserve it so much.' Harry choked back a sob. Louis swiped his thumbs under Harry's eyes, catching the tears that were falling out of his eyes.

 

'And I will make sure we will be happy too because you deserve it also,' Harry promised him. 'Team effort right?' Louis caught Harry's face in between his hands and peppered his face with kisses.

 

'Yes baby yes,' Louis whispered in between kisses. 'Now come, there's more to see.' Louis took Harry's hand once again and led him into the dining room where the glass table top was set out for dinner. There were white candles burning softly in silver candle holders and a huge vase of red roses. There were red table mats with white china plates on them, red napkins folded neatly on the plates, silver cutlery and crystal glasses, everything shimmering in the soft glow from the candles.

 

'Wow,' Harry whispered in awe of the beautifully laid out table. 'This is so romantic.' Louis smiled, feeling his heart grow inside his chest. So far so good! He was so nervous about tonight and he had much to be nervous about! He tugged on Harry's hand, indicating for Harry to follow him which Harry did. Louis led him into the kitchen, where the double glass doors leading out on to the garden where open. A cold draft blew in, making Harry shiver. The bare trees had all been draped with white fairy lights that seemed to glow and shed their soft light on the garden. The pool was also lit, making the garden looked magical.

 

'Oh my God Louis!' Harry exclaimed. 'Did you do all of this?' Louis shrugged.

 

'It was my idea but I had people come in and set everything up.' Harry smiled at him.

 

'And the food? Did you cook? It smells delicious.' Louis gave him a sideways glance.

 

'Now Harold don't be an asshole and spoil the romantic mood I worked so hard to set up here. But if you must be an asshole and ask, no I did not cook. Obviously! I had it specifically ordered straight from Gordon Ramsey himself!' Harry gawked at him.

 

'Gordon Ramsey does take out?' Louis rolled his eyes at his cute boyfriend.

 

'No he does not. He did me a solid and cooked for us. I told him it was a special occasion and he did an exception.' Harry smiled at Louis popping his dimples.

 

'You are the only exception,' Harry told him with full blown heart eyes and Louis felt extremely soft inside and so so very in love with this amazing human being. Louis led Harry back into the kitchen.

 

'Our kitchen,' Harry said happily as he ran his hand over the marble top counter. Louis shook his head, grinning like an idiot.

 

'Sap,' Louis teased him as he poured two glasses of wine that had been chilling at room temperature. They toasted their new home and Harry's twenty first year of life. They took a sip, then Louis took a small remote control off the counter and pressed a button. The beautiful music of Shania Twain filled the kitchen.

 

From this moment life has begun  
From this moment you are the one  
Right beside you is where I belong  
From this moment on

 

Louis held out his hand to Harry. 'Dance with me.'

 

From this moment I have been blessed  
I live only for your happiness  
And for your love I'd give my last breath  
From this moment on

 

Harry smiled wide at him. 'Look who's the sappy one now,' he teased him but placed his hand in Louis' regardless. Louis pulled him closer and they began to sway to the music.

 

I give my hand to you with all my heart  
I can't wait to live my life with you  
I can't wait to start  
You and I will never be apart  
My dreams came true because of you

 

'You know this is a wedding song right?' Harry said. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'What's with you and weddings and marriage? This is a song about starting a brand new life with the one you love and that is what we are doing. Starting our brand new life in our brand new home because we love each other.' Harry hugged him.

 

'I love this song,' he purred in Louis' neck.

 

'You will love them all then. I stole your playlists from your phone and downloaded them all on our system here which we clearly have all around the house.'

 

From this moment as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing I wouldn't give  
From this moment on

 

'How dare you steal my music you thief!' Harry told him playfully. Louis smiled softly.

 

'You stole my heart and my soul so its only fair that I steal your music,' Louis whispered and Harry pulled back to look at him, heart eyes in full blast.

 

'I adore you,' Harry said against Louis' lips. They kissed softly as they swayed to the music their bodies close. Harry sang the next bit against Louis' lips :

 

'You're the reason I believe in love. And you're the answer to my prayers from up above. All we need is just the two of us. My dreams came true because of you.' They kissed passionately still swaying to the music until the song finished and Louis released Harry, both of them feeling a little dizzy with love and a whole lot horny.

 

'Go sit down,' Louis told him. 'Tonight I will be serving you.' Harry smiled at him and walked into the dining room, pulled out a chair and sat down. He could hear Louis moving about in the kitchen while romantic music still played. Louis came in carrying a new bottle of wine and he poured a glass for Harry and one for himself. He gave Harry a wink.

 

'Be right back with the starters.' He left the dining room and true to his word, he came back and placed a small plate in front of Harry and one in front of himself.

 

'Hmm smells delicious,' Harry said eyeing the food in his plate. Louis sat down.

 

'Lobster ravioli,' he informed him. They both tucked in, sipping wine, Harry humming at the delicious food. When they had finished their starters, Louis took their empty plates back into the kitchen while Harry sipped his wine. Louis came back in shortly carrying two plates.

 

'Sir, your salmon cooked in white wine with steamed vegetables,' Louis told him, making Harry giggle. Louis sat down and together they ate their dinner, casually chatting, sipping wine and enjoying each others company. Harry was the first to push his plate away.

 

'I'm full,' he said tapping his stomach. 'That was wonderful Lou, thank you.' Louis wiped his mouth with the linen napkin.

 

'You're welcome but thank Gordon not me. I only served you. I have one more plate.' Harry frowned at him.

 

'Louis I'm full,' Harry whined. Louis got up and pecked his lips.

 

'Just a little something yeah,' he told him and left the kitchen only to come back with a rainbow muffin which had a lighted candle stuck in the middle. He placed it in front of Harry whose face shone with happiness.

 

'Make a wish baby,' Louis told him softly as he stroked his hair lovingly. Harry looked up at him with adoring eyes.

 

'I already have all I could ever want. There's nothing I could possibly wish for Lou.' Louis bent down and kissed him lightly.

 

'Then wish for all that we have to never end,' Louis said against his lips and Harry smiled. He looked at the candle, closed his eyes for a minute, opened them again and blew out the candle.

 

'There! Done.'

 

'Lovely,' Louis told him as he got a knife and cut the muffin in half and they took a piece each. When they finished eating, Louis poured them more wine and Harry noticed that Louis was a little nervous. He reached across the table and placed his hand over his.

 

'Hey, are you alright? Is something wrong?' Harry asked him concern oozing out of him. Louis smiled a little but Harry could tell that it was a little strained.

 

'I-I-m...yeah I'm alright. I just um have another surprise for you and one more gift.' Harry's face went serious.

 

'Louis, haven't you given me enough already?' Louis was quick to take his hand and squeeze it.

 

'It didn't cost me anything I swear. I promise I didn't buy this gift.' Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. Louis tugged at his hand.

 

'Come with me,' he told him as he got up off the chair and tugged Harry up. Louis led them back out into the foyer and began climbing the steps up to the second floor. Harry could feel Louis' hand shaking a little in his and it was becoming clammy. He wondered what could possibly be making Louis nervous.

 

They arrived on the second floor and Harry could only marvel at this beautiful house that now belonged to them. The first time they had viewed it, he hand't seen it quite properly but now he could see how beautiful the house actually was. Louis led him down the wide carpeted hall and stopped in front of a door.

 

'Close your eyes,' he told Harry. Harry scrunched up his face and Louis smiled, still nervous. 'Please, just close your eyes.' Harry huffed playfully but closed his eyes obeying Louis. He heard Louis open the door and wondered what was on the other side. He felt Louis tug him gently inside and the door click shut behind them. He heard Louis take in a shuddering breath and exhale slowly.

 

'You can open your eyes now,' Louis whispered and ever so slowly. Harry opened his eyes to find himself in a bedroom, lit with hundreds of candles and red rose petals on the floor, leading up to a big beautiful bed with white linen. Rose petals were scattered on the white duvet and on the white pillows. Candles were on the bedside tables along with champagne chilling in an ice bucket.

 

'Oh my God Louis,' Harry exclaimed again consecutively this night. Louis was beyond surprising him. 'This....this is so beautiful and so very romantic. Oh wow.' Harry turned to face him and cupped his face in both his hands. 'You have out done yourself. Truly.' He bent down and kissed his lips gently. Louis kissed him back then pulled back and Harry didn't miss that he was still very nervous. Harry took his hand in his.

 

'Why are you nervous? I can tell that you are. Please tell me.' Louis licked his lips and seemed to be looking everywhere besides at Harry. Harry took his chin gently and turned his face up to him. 'What is it Louis?'

 

'Its...its about your present,' he said and yeah he was very nervous, so out of character for Louis. Harry only saw him like this after he had told him his life story back in Doncaster. Louis took his hand again and walked him towards the bed. He poured champagne into two flutes and handed one to Harry. When Harry took it, Louis met Harry's expectant green eyes.

 

'Louis, you gave me enough. I don't need another present really,' Harry told him because he could see that whatever this gift was, it was making Louis very nervous and Harry didn't want him nervous at all. Louis gave him a faint smile.

 

'There's one more thing I have yet to give you,' he said quietly. He licked his lips again and took a healthy swallow of champagne. 'I-I am your present Harry.' Harry looked at him a little confused. Louis took another gulp of champagne to calm his nerves. Louis took Harry's hand yet again because he needed to feel him so he wouldn't freak out.

 

'Harry, you have one more virginity to lose. I- I want you to make love to me,' Louis spoke softly, ever so softly. His voice made Harry's skin break out into goosebumps. What? Did Louis want Harry to top? Harry felt himself becoming nervous at the prospect.

 

'Louis...I....I....you-you're not ready....you...I m-mean you're n-not ready. No, you are not,' Harry stuttered out because what Louis had just said shocked him. Louis swung their hands back and forth a little.

 

'Harry, I'm ready. This time, I truly am. I am ready for this please trust that I am. I have talked with Anthony at length about it and even he thinks that I'm ready.' Harry kept looking at him with wide eyes. He raised his champagne flute to his lips and drained the whole glass in one go because damn Louis wanted him to make love to him and he wasn't prepared for this. It was his turn to be nervous now. Did Louis seriously want him to top? Louis could see that Harry was nervous.

 

'Baby,' Louis whispered, 'I trust you. There is no one I could ever trust with this. Remember when you trusted me again after I raped you? This is me trusting you after being raped. I want you to make love to me Harry. Make me feel. Make it feel like its my first time too. New memories right? Just you and me. I am ready Harry I really am please believe me.' Louis was looking at Harry with pleading eyes and Harry suddenly realized that Louis was serious about this and that he was trusting him with a very important piece of his life.

 

'Lou, I-I have no experience. What if I do it wrong? What if I mess it up for you?' Harry told him, uncertainty lacing his voice. Louis squeezed his hand.

 

'You can't mess it up for me Harry. It can't be worse than.....' Louis paused as if thinking. 'What I'm trying to say is that I have never in my life been made love to. I don't know what it feels like so it will be all new to me. All I know is the pain and horror of it so I want you to show me what its like to be loved, truly loved and taken care of. Trust me, there is no way you can mess it up honey.' For a few moments they looked into each others eyes, both of them waiting, hoping, thinking. Harry took Louis' glass from his hand and placed them both on the bedside table, then wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close. Louis was trusting him with this and he couldn't let him down. He had to make new memories for him. He had promised him that when the time was right, he would make love to him and make new memories for him and Louis was ready. The time was now!

 

'Alright. Then I am going to love you the very best that I can,' Harry told him, placing a kiss on his lips. 'Do you need the safe words?' Louis shook his head.

 

'If it gets too much I will tell you to stop.'

 

'Promise?' Harry asked him a little wary. Louis kissed him.

 

'I promise.' Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He was thrilled and excited, yet nervous because he wasn't confident in this. He had never made love to anyone before.

 

'How do you want to do this Lou?' Louis looked down and chewed on his bottom lip.

 

'Anyway you want just...just don't put me face down. I can't handle that.' Harry nodded, remembering when Louis had told him about his past, how he had always been shoved face down on his bed, given no choice. Harry hugged him tightly, cradling the back of his head.

 

'I won't baby. I won't.' Louis relaxed in his arms and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. Harry held him for a while and began to feel excited that he was going to make love to the man he was so in love with. He pulled back from the hug and began kissing Louis softly, lips only at first, then he gently pushed his tongue inside Louis' mouth and Louis let him. Harry could feel him trembling. The kiss became heated and more passionate. Harry's hands made their way down to Louis ass, carefully and cautiously. He stopped and just let his hands rest on Louis' bum. Louis pulled back from the kiss, resting his forehead against Harry's.

 

'Don't be afraid to touch me. Take control. I give it to you. All of it. All of me. Be in control Harry. Please,' he said breathlessly and urgently against Harry's mouth. At Louis' words, Harry gripped Louis' ass cheeks in his hands, kneading and pulling Louis' groin closer to his own both their erections rubbing together. Harry's mouth found Louis' again, kissing him hungrily and passionately, making Louis whimper into his mouth. Harry broke the kiss and began undressing Louis, slowly, always being mindful of Louis' reactions and alert for any signs of distress from him. Harry remembered how Louis had been mindful and careful when he had made love to him again after the rape. He had taken good care of Harry and made sure that he was alright and Harry was going to do the same for him. He had had a good teacher! But Louis was undressing him too, slowly and surely even though his hands were shaking. When their shirts were off, they took off their shoes and socks, then Harry looked at Louis tenderly.

 

'Get on the bed love, lie back on the pillows yeah.' Louis nodded and climbed on the bed still in his dress pants and lay back against the pillows. His heart was ramming hard in his chest. Yes, he was afraid but this was Harry and Harry loved him and he loved Harry and he needed to do this. He wanted to stop being afraid. Harry took off his trousers but kept his boxers on. He was nervous as fuck! He climbed on the bed next to Louis, not certain yet if he could lie on top of him or not because Louis had told him that he didn't like anyone being on top of him. Still, Harry had to try. He stroked Louis' face.

 

'If I do anything you're not comfortable with please stop me. I'm not sure I know what I'm doing Lou so please help me.' Louis pecked his lips.

 

'You're doing amazing sweetheart.' Harry nodded and ever so carefully lay his body on top of Louis', supporting his weight on his arms. Louis parted his legs to accommodate Harry. He looked down at Louis beneath him.

 

'How does this feel?' Harry asked him. Louis licked his lips as he placed his hands on Harry's waist.

 

'Strange. I- I have never had anyone on top of me. Ever. It's only your face I ever looked into when I made love to you and now it's your face I'm looking into while you make love to me.' Harry could feel him tremble.

 

'Relax. I love you,' Harry whispered as he leaned down and kissed him yet again then he left his lips and began kissing down his jaw, his neck, his collarbones, sucking softly at the skin. Louis threw his head back on the pillow, his short fingers digging into Harry's soft flesh of his waist. Harry sucked harder when he felt Louis' nails dig into his skin and moved his mouth down to his "IT IS WHAT IT IS" tattoo, licking the letters and sucking his nipples, eliciting sweet whimpers from Louis' parted lips. Harry continued his way down till he reached the band of Louis' trousers. His fingers nimbly undid the button and zipper.

 

'Can I take these off baby?' Harry asked him in a husky voice. He was way past aroused now, just the thought of him soon being inside Louis was driving him crazy. Louis nodded and Harry hooked his fingers in his pants.

 

'Bum up,' Harry told him as he placed a kiss on his tummy. Louis lifted his bum up and Harry slid his pants down his legs and realized that today Louis was not wearing boxers but tight black briefs. They were sexy as hell! Harry climbed back up Louis' body.

 

'Are you comfortable with me lying on top of you?' Harry asked him again.

 

'Y-yes,' Louis said. Gently Harry lowered his body again on top of Louis, letting him get accustomed to having someone on top of him. Harry kissed his cheeks, his lips, his nose.

 

'H-have you um prepped yourself?' Harry asked him because he had done it the last time he had asked Harry to fuck him and Harry had turned him down.

 

'No,' Louis said quietly. 'I-I want you to do it.' Harry felt his insides melt and his heart grow and swell. Louis was truly ready for this.

 

'Alright baby. Can I take your briefs off?' Louis nodded. Harry looked at his face carefully. Was Louis hiding his emotions from Harry? Was he worried? Scared? Harry kissed his face softly again.

 

'Are you sure you are alright with this Lou?' Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'I am. Yes I'm nervous and yes I'm a little scared but I trust you.' Harry nodded and got up on his knees removing his boxers then Louis' briefs. He lay down next to Louis, both of them facing each other. Ever so gently, Harry raised Louis' leg and hooked it over his waist then pulled him closer to him till both of their dicks rubbed against each other. Harry reached behind him where Louis had prepared lube next to the champagne bucket and grabbed the bottle. He opened it and squirted some on his fingers. Louis watched him and Harry watched him back as Harry lowered his hand between them and ever so gently placed his index finger against Louis' hole. Louis jerked forward at the cold touch.

 

'Alright?' Harry asked and Louis nodded as he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, hiked his leg higher up Harry's waist and moved closer. He was thankful that Harry had chosen this position to prep him and not one that had him exposed a lot. Harry rubbed slow circles over Louis hole for a while then ever so carefully began pushing his middle finger inside Louis. He met resistance and he stopped. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would burst out of his chest. Louis buried his face in Harry's neck.

 

'Go on,' he whispered. Harry pushed again and the tip of his middle finger breached Louis' hole. Louis made a whimpering noise against Harry's neck. Harry rubbed his back with his free hand. He continued to push in until his finger was fully inside Louis and Harry wanted to cry because Louis was so warm and wet inside. He felt smooth like velvet! Louis did not move an inch but kept a deathly grip on Harry. Harry tested waters. He pulled out his finger carefully and pushed it back in and Louis whined. He did it again. And again. This time, Louis moved. He rolled his hips slightly on Harry, their dicks brushing against each other and this time it was Harry that whined out.

 

'G-gonna a-add another one b-baby is that okay for you?' Harry groaned. Louis hummed an affermitive and pushed his hips down on Harry's finger indicating for him to carry on so Harry placed his index finger next to his middle one and began pushing it in. Louis was tight and Harry wondered how his dick was going to fit inside him! Harry wanted to see his face. Wanted to see if he was alright. He kept pushing his finger in while whimpers came from Louis.

 

'Baby are you alright? Do you want me to stop?' Harry asked him. Louis hugged him tighter.

 

'Don't stop. Please. I-I'm fine promise.' So Harry continued, gradually having three fingers inside Louis. They were both rocking against each other and were both hard and leaking, panting against each other, their bodies slick with sweat.

 

'Now, Harry, please. Now,' Louis begged him softly, his voice cracking a little. Harry pulled his fingers out of him and rolled Louis onto his back. Harry wanted to be inside of him now. He had felt him and he wanted to bury himself inside Louis. He grabbed the lube again and coated himself generously as he didn't want to hurt Louis. Louis was looking at him with huge blue eyes, his face flushed and eyelashes a little wet. Had he been crying? Harry wiped his hand on the sheets.

 

'Baby do you want to stop? It's alright if you do. I don't want you hurting.' Louis made grabby hands at him and Harry lay on top of him.

 

'I want this. I want you. Please don't worry okay.' His voice was so soft, he was so pliant, so submissive and he was shaking lightly. Harry couldn't believe that this was the same Louis! Harry kissed him lovingly.

 

'You are so brave,' Harry said against his lips. 'My brave brave man. The love of my life.' As Harry gently talked to him, he reached down between them and placed himself at Louis' entrance. Immediately, Louis stiffened. Harry remembered how Louis had dealt with him when Harry had allowed him to make love to him the first time after Louis had raped him. It was a delicate time. Harry pushed a little, the blunt head of his dick pushing against Louis' tight hole and Louis whimpered, closing his eyes tightly shut, his nails digging into Harry's biceps as memories flooded him. Memories of all the times he had had a dick up his ass, how it had hurt and how he had begged and cried. Harry saw him struggle as the tears rolled out from his closed eyes and roll down his temples.

 

'Hey,' Harry said softly. 'Hey baby, open your eyes. Look at me sweetheart, look at me please.' Louis opened his eyes slowly and when their eyes met, Harry smiled at him. 'Its me Lou. Your Harry. I love you so much and I'm not going to hurt you. Don't close your eyes baby. Don't go into the darkness. Can you please keep your eyes open and look at me? I want to see you. I don't want you in the dark. Keep your eyes on me sweetheart.' Louis sniffed and Harry kissed his tears away. 'I love you Louis. I will never hurt you and if you say stop, I will stop. I do want to make love to you. I want to show you how you make me feel when you make love to me, how beautiful it is, how wonderful. I want to make you feel loved and cherished as you should. Please baby don't be afraid of me but if you can't go through with it, I understand.' Louis locked his legs behind Harry's knees and pulled him closer.

 

'I-I love you. I don't want you to stop.' Harry nodded. This was a special moment for the both of them and they were doing this together. Harry gripped the back of Louis' thigh hitching it up higher round his waist, getting a better angle, then he began pushing inside Louis. At first Louis resisted but Harry kissed him passionately, distracting him and Louis relaxed his body. Harry slipped inside him and Louis made the most beautiful noise ever, a cross between a cry, a sob and a pleasurable moan. Harry was lost. Louis felt amazing. He slowly pushed further inside him, Louis swallowing him in his tight heat and Harry felt like he was going to come right there and then.

 

'God Louis,' Harry whispered. 'God baby you feel amazing.' Louis kept his eyes straight into Harry's and when Harry bottomed out, they both let their eyes close from the immense feeling they were both experiencing. Harry shifted a little, trying to find a better position and Louis groaned. They opened the it eyes, still locked on to each other.

 

'Am I hurting you?' Harry asked him. Louis shook his head slightly.

 

'No. You're perfect. You're beautiful. You are everything. Everything.' Louis caressed his face. 'Move,' he whispered. Harry pulled his hips back, easing out almost completely of Louis then sinking back in, enveloped in his heat. They both moaned together. Harry was lost in Louis surrounding him, clenching around him and pulling him deeper inside of him. He couldn't believe that this was happening, that he was fucking Louis. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined that Louis would let him do this.

 

And Louis was thinking along the same lines as Harry. He pulled him closer, taking him in deeper because after all that he had been through, after all the rapes and the beatings, he had never imagined he would ever allow somebody to touch him physically or emotionally and here he was letting this boy, this angel that had changed his entire existence, make love to him. He was letting the love of his life fuck him. He felt those bad memories seep away from him as Harry filled him up with love. He felt those memories leave his mind and body with every push and pull from Harry. Those bad horrifying memories were being replaced with love and gentleness, with kisses instead of beatings, with caresses instead of forced penetration and Louis silently cried as Harry made love to him. But he cried from happiness and love, the way Harry took him with the utmost care and gentleness and reverence. Harry was treating his body as if it were a temple and he was worshipping him.

 

Louis tightened his legs and arms around Harry and sobbed softly against him. Harry held him tightly as he continued to move in and out of him.

 

'Louis,' he breathed, 'Louis are you...alright God....fuck...talk to me,' Harry groaned out. Louis hiccuped against him.

 

'I-I'm fine. I'm good. Very good. God Harry I love you. I-I'm close Harry....so so...God Haaarrrryyyyy,' he moaned out as his orgasm hit him out of nowhere and he spilled between their tummies. Harry felt Louis clench hard around him and he cried out at the sensitive sensation. He thrust in once, twice, clenched his butt cheeks, stilled inside Louis and shot his load deep inside Louis.

 

'Oh Christ...God.....fuck.....' Harry moaned as he kept coming because Louis was still clenching hard around him. 'Baby baby,' he whispered, his fingers digging in the back of Louis' thigh. 'Fuck,' Harry drawled as he let his body relax on top of Louis. Louis relaxed beneath him, his legs going limp. They were breathing together, their bodies shaking with spasms of their orgasms. Louis carded his fingers through Harry's curls.

 

'Harry,' Louis croaked out. 'Baby you're a bit too heavy.' Harry smiled lazily against Louis' skin and placed a kiss to the side of his neck. He raised himself up on his elbows and looked into Louis' face.

 

'Are you alright?' Louis smiled up at him.

 

'I'm alright,' he said. Harry kissed his nose.

 

'You were crying,' he pointed out.

 

'Crying is not always a bad thing.' Harry grinned at him.

 

'Was I that good that I made you cry?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'You were alright.' Harry scrunched up his nose at him.

 

'Just alright?' Louis pulled him down for a kiss.

 

'You were amazing. Perfect.' Harry kissed him languidly, lazily, letting their tongues roll together easily. Harry pulled out of Louis gently, not wanting to cause him any discomfort and rolled onto his back next to Louis. He reached over and took Louis' hand, lacing their fingers together.

 

'How was your first time?' Louis asked him. Harry turned his head and looked at him, a delighted smile on his face.

 

'Fucking brilliant,' he said and the both of them burst out laughing. Harry opened his arms for Louis and Louis crawled over to him, cuddling into his side.

 

'Thank you,' Louis said.

 

'For what?' Louis traced Harry's butterfly tattoo with his index finger.

 

'For helping me move on. For making me get over it. For showing me what making love was all about. I feel....I feel very loved and cared for Harry.' Harry placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'You are. Very much.' Louis smiled as his hand traced down Harry's torso till he cupped Harry's dick.

 

'I'm not quite done with you yet,' Louis said raising an eyebrow at Harry. 'What do you say birthday boy?' Louis squeezed him and Harry perked up.

 

'You want to go again?' Harry asked him. Louis raised his eyebrow again.

 

'Don't you?' Harry smiled mischievously.

 

'Can I be in control again?' he asked and Louis laughed.

 

'Only because its your birthday.' With one swift movement, Harry had Louis on his back and he was straddling his waist. Louis looked at him with wide eyes.

 

'Harry you can't....I'm...I'm sore.' Harry smiled and pecked his lips.

 

'I'm not going to. You are.' Without another word, Harry went down on Louis, taking his half hard dick into his mouth, sucking him till Louis grew hard in his mouth and was a writhing mess beneath him. Harry was hard just from Louis' moans and filthy cursing while tugging harshly at his hair.

 

'H-Harry, I'm close. Unless y-you...fuck...want me to.....' And Harry pulled off Louis, smirking at him.

 

'No way you are coming now. Remember the first time I rode you after we had that big fight and I held you down?' Louis nodded. 'And remember how you liked my beastly side when I rode you at Garlands?' Louis nodded again and Harry smirked. 'Prepare yourself for both.' Without another word, Harry pulled Louis' pillows from under his head till he was completely flat on the bed and Harry was straddling his waist.

 

'Harry what....'

 

'Shush,' Harry warned him as he coated Louis' dick with lube making him hiss with pleasure. When he was done, Harry positioned Louis at his entrance.

 

'Ready for the ride?' Harry asked him with a wink and before Louis could reply, Harry began sinking down on him. Louis' hands gripped Harry's hips tightly, fingers digging in the soft skin. Harry placed his hands on Louis' stomach for leverage and sunk down, taking Louis inside him. He had no patience for slow. He was horny and hungry for Louis and yes it burned because he hadn't been prepped but he loved the pain of the stretch. When he was fully seated in Louis' lap, he took both Louis' hands off his hips and pinned them above his head, leaning his body down, hovering over Louis. Harry's grip around his wrists was tight and Louis gasped as he tried to pull himself out of Harry's grasp. He couldn't even move his hands! Harry grinned down at him and began to move, slow at first, back and forth rocking on Louis' dick. Louis groaned lightly and tried again to pull his hands from Harry's grip but Harry held them down tightly. He was pinned beneath him.

 

Harry picked up a fast rhythm, back and forth, up and down, grinding down on Louis' dick and moving his hips in figure eights. Louis was bucking up beneath him, pushing up deeper into Harry and Harry's hips moved faster.

 

'Oh baby...God baby... don't.... fuck.... don't fucking stop....Jesus fuck,' Louis groaned out, his voice loud. He couldn't help it, Harry was driving him insane. If he thought that at Garlands Harry had unleashed his inner beast, it was nothing compared to now. The way he was moving, snapping his hips back and forth, fast and hard, had Louis panting and squirming beneath him helplessly. Harry was leaking all over Louis' tummy, joining his own dry cum from his earlier orgasm. Louis looked up at Harry who was a messy, sweating, flushed beauty that was riding his dick like a fucking cowboy bucking on a Stallion.

 

'H-Harry baby...baby don't fucking stop....keep going sweetheart....fuuuuckkkkk,' Louis almost screamed and Harry fucked harder, his hips snapping, his thighs burning from the effort and his spine threatening to snap in two. Louis bucked up harder into him chasing his orgasm and he didn't even have time to tell Harry that he was close because he just came inside of him with a long drawn moan :

 

'Jesus fucking Christ Harry Harry Harry ohhhhhh baby fuck.'

 

And Harry came all over Louis, coating his tummy and chest white as he whined and moaned out Louis' name like a mantra. Louis let him ride out his orgasm and when he felt Harry's hold on his wrists ease, he knew that Harry was ready to collapse, and collapse he did but Louis caught him in his numb arms as circulation worked its way through his numb hands. Louis held him and kissed his sweaty flushed face repeatedly.

 

'God I love you,' Louis muttered, kissing every inch of his beautiful face as Harry lay limp in his arms. Carefully Louis helped Harry off of him, easing out of him as gently as he could and lay him down. Louis felt bone tired and when he moved, his ass hurt like a motherfucker. Harry was big and yeah his ass hurt! He lay down next to him, trying to catch his breath and get his racing heart to slow down. Two orgasms within half an hour! He was exhausted and he needed to sleep but he was filthy. He had cum seeping out of his ass and both of their cum drying on his chest. Harry was no less filthy but Louis chose to curl up beside his beautiful boy and wait for him to comeback to him.

 

Harry stirred but his body felt numb and floaty.

 

'Louis,' he croaked out. Louis raised himself on his elbow and looked down at Harry.

 

'Welcome back,' he smiled at him. Harry smiled back.

 

'I'm spent,' he rasped.

 

'With good reason.'

 

'Are you alright?' Harry asked him, his eyes closing. Louis pecked his lips.

 

'I'm alright. You?' Harry smiled wider, his eyes still closed.

 

'I'm fantastic. Best birthday ever. I'm hungry though.'

 

'How about we go skinny dipping in our pool then eat something?' Harry's eyes flew open.

 

'Its February are you crazy! The water will be freezing.' Louis pecked his lips again.

 

'Oh come on. Russians go swimming in icy water while its snowing. Come on, up you go,' Louis told him as he tried heaving him out of the bed.

 

'Louissssss,' Harry whined. 'You're crazy. I'm not skinny dipping....'

 

'Yes you are,' Louis insisted. 'Come on get up you oaf. It will be fun. Race you downstairs.' And Louis was off. However, he wasn't going to race Harry because the pain in his ass stopped him short as he let out a painful whine while he screwed his eyes up tightly shut. Harry giggled.

 

'Sore ass?'

 

'Shut up,' Louis playfully scolded, his cheeks burning. 'Come on you giant.' Harry dragged himself heavily out of bed and together naked they walked through their house, taking the elevator down to the sauna room, grabbing two fluffy bathrobes then went out by the pool. The air was freezing.

 

Louis was the first to jump into the pool, howling as he surfaced from beneath the cold water.

 

'Come on in,' he called out to Harry who stood hesitating but then took a leap and jumped into the pool. He surfaced gasping for air.

 

'Shit! Shit! Fuck its cold!' he whined, his teeth chattering. Louis wrapped him in his arms and kissed him softly.

 

'Come on, one lap and we're out.' They swam the length of the pool, yelling at each other like kids, splashing each other and stopping to kiss each other. When Harry began to shiver, Louis urged him out of the pool. They put on their fluffy white robes and padded into the kitchen. Louis closed the doors and immediately put the heating on. He rubbed Harry's arms up and down.

 

'Fancy a hot cuppa and something to eat?' Harry nodded.

 

'Please.' While Harry sat at the kitchen island, Louis made tea and some sandwiches and when Harry asked how come there was food in the house, Louis told him that he had had Leonard and Judy stock up the house the moment he had bought it and also had Leonard start moving their things from storage into the house. Harry thought that it was obvious that Louis wasn't going to let him move into an empty house and he felt oddly comforted by the fact that Louis knew he would not say no to the house.

 

They ate their sandwiches and drank their tea and when they were done, they headed upstairs but Louis took him into another bedroom. This bedroom was intended to sleep in. They removed their robes and had a quick hot shower together, then climbed into the cozy bed, pulled the duvet over themselves, cuddled together and fell asleep to the softly pouring rain that had just started falling.

 

 

X

 

 

The moment Louis stirred in bed and opened his eyes, pain shot up his ass making him close his eyes again and hiss but it reminded him of last night and he smiled to himself as he hugged a still sleeping Harry to him and placed kisses on his messy curls. Harry smiled sleepily and cuddled further into Louis.

 

'Good morning,' Louis said.

 

'Hmmm good morning yourself,' Harry rasped and his morning voice always did things to Louis. Harry wiggled his bum a little straight into Louis' dick. 'How are you feeling?'

 

'Good,' Louis replied. 'Sore. In a good way.' Harry smiled.

 

'I'm glad you can still feel me.' Louis kissed the back of his neck.

 

'Hard not to feel you when you're in my arms.' Harry giggled.

 

'You know what I mean.'

 

'I know. We need to get up. We're going on a trip.' Harry groaned and turned into his arms till he was facing him.

 

'Lou can't we stay here in our new home? I want to stay here and get used to our home,' Harry said. Louis kissed his forehead.

 

'I had plans to take us down to Richmond for a few days. My mum wants to see you for your birthday.' Harry's eyes flew wide open.

 

'Yes! Richmond. Alright. And your mum. Definetely yes!' Louis chuckled.

 

'I knew you'd say yes!' Harry kissed his lips.

 

'Can I kiss your sore ass better before we go?' he asked him raising an eyebrow at Louis and those words went straight to his dick.

 

'You want to....' Harry rolled on top of him, getting used to being on top of his man.

 

'Yes I want to kiss you there. Make it all better for you. Please? Let me?' Harry asked him with big pleading eyes and he slipped down between Louis' legs and parted them. Louis sighed.

 

'You are going to be the death of me Harry Styles!'

 

 

x

 

 

An hour later, they were in the Range Rover, their bags in the back, Byron yapping happily in the back seat and on the way to Richmond. Harry sat in the passenger seat feeling very happy and smiling big and wide. Louis pulled out and down their long driveway to the gates, shifting a little in his seat. His ass hurt but he was happy. He probably wore the same stupid grin on his face that Harry had on. He couldn't believe that he had let Harry make love to him and eat him out this morning. Memories of Harry's skillful tongue flooded Louis' mind, making him squirm a little.

 

Louis reached over and took Harry's hand in his, squeezing it gently to get his attention.

 

'You look very happy,' Louis pointed out.

 

'I am,' Harry said. 'Very, immensely, positively happy.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Losing your virginity agrees with you a lot.' Harry laughed at that.

 

'You look happy too,' he pointed out and Louis smiled.

 

'I am. Very, immensely, positively happy.' He raised their joined hands and kissed Harry's knuckles.

 

'How's your ass?' Harry asked him still giggling. Louis shot him a look.

 

'Unless you want to walk all the way to Richmond, I suggest you shut the fuck up about my ass!' Louis told him in a playful voice and Harry laughed.

 

'I love your ass but if I'm to be honest, I prefer to bottom.' Louis took his eyes momentarily off the road and looked at Harry.

 

'You do?' Harry nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

 

'I dunno, guess its who I am. I'm a bottom. A born bottom.' Louis kissed his knuckles again.

 

'As much as I enjoyed you making love to me, I prefer to top.' Harry smiled.

 

'I know you do but just know that if you ever need making love to, I'm up for it.'

 

'Good to know,' Louis said, then shot another look at Harry. 'How can you always have your ass feel like this?' He squirmed uncomfortably on the seat and scrunched up his features into a grimace. Harry shrugged again.

 

'It doesn't always feel like that to me. You're just.....new.' Louis nodded and sighed heavily but it was a contented sigh.

 

'Thank you,' he told Harry. Harry looked at him.

 

'For what?'

 

'For the new memories.' It was Harry's turn to kiss his knuckles now.

 

'Are you alright though?' Louis seemed to be thinking about it and Harry knew where his mind had gone to and he waited uncertainly for Louis' reply. Then Louis gave him a small smile.

 

'Yeah. I'm alright baby. Very alright.'

 

 

x

 

 

Their long drive soon brought them into Richmond and Harry's happiness escalated. He loved being here! He couldn't wait to see Jay and go horse riding again. He was just bursting at the seams with happiness. Louis manuvered the car on to the Richmond estate and parked the car in front of the door, just as Hugh came out to greet them. Harry jumped out, stretching his legs and back as he opened the backdoor and let Byron out. Louis got out too and walked over to him, taking his hand and heading inside, letting Hugh take care of their luggage. They found Jay in the living room, sitting on the couch in front of the fire with a blanket over her knees, reading a book.

 

'Mum,' Louis said as he let go of Harry's hand so he could hug her. Jay hugged him tightly and reached out to Harry with her other hand.

 

'My boys,' she said happily. 'I am so happy to see you.' Harry hugged her too, one arm around her back and one around Louis. Jay placed a kiss on Harry's cheek.

 

'Happy birthday my darling. I hope you had a great day and that you are feeling better now after that horrible ordeal. I saw it on the news and I was devastated.' They pulled apart and sat beside her, Harry still holding her hand.

 

'I am alright now and yeah I had a great great birthday thanks to your son,' Harry said, smiling fondly at Louis. Louis gave him a wink. Jay looked from one to the other then rested her eyes on Louis.

 

'What did you do that was so special?' Harry and Louis exchanged looks and both blushed a little but Louis shrugged.

 

'The usual. Romantic dinner, a swim in the pool of our new house!' Jay's eyes went wide.

 

'Oh my God you got a house? You got a house! Where? Tell me everything.' They had tea brought to them and Louis and Harry began telling her about the house and where it is and about all the rooms they have. Harry went into detail about the garden and what he was planning to do once Spring arrived. They talked for a long while until Maggie came in and took Jay for her afternoon nap. While Jay was napping, Louis and Harry went down to the stables.

 

'I can't wait to ride Mystique,' Harry said happily. He was feeling awfully serene. Louis smirked at him.

 

'I thought I was the only one you liked riding.' Harry threw his head back and laughed then caught Louis by the collar of his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss.

 

'You are my favorite ride,' Harry whispered against his lips. Louis kissed him again.

 

'That's better. I don't think I can ride today though,' he told Harry as they resumed walking towards the stables. Harry shot him an amused look and laughed. Louis nudged him with his shoulder and Harry stumbled.

 

'Stop making fun of me and my sore ass,' Louis scolded him playfully.

 

'Am not!' Harry protested. Louis nudged him again and again Harry stumbled.

 

'You are too you liar.' Harry looped his arm through Louis' and cuddled to his side.

 

'Well maybe I am a little but only because I enjoy that you still feel me....there.' Louis rolled his eyes playfully.

 

'You have a monster dick Harry of course I still feel you.' Harry hugged his arm.

 

'I'll take that as a compliment.' Louis shook his head and smiled fondly at his goofy boyfriend. They got to the stables and greeted the lads there.

 

'Harry would like to ride Mystique,' Louis told one of the stable boys. The lad shook his head.

 

'I'm afraid that's impossible Sir.' Louis felt Harry stiffen beside him.

 

'Is she alright?' Harry asked him, his voice full of worry. 'Did something happen to her?' Louis could tell that he was agitated. He placed a hand on his lower back, rubbing circles to calm him. The lad looked at Harry.

 

'No Sir she is fine. She can't be ridden because she is expecting.' Harry opened his mouth and closed it. Then looked at Louis and back at the lad.

 

'She's pregnant?' he asked. The lad nodded. 'Oh my God Louis she's pregnant,' Harry exclaimed happily.

 

'How did that happen?' Louis asked the lad and Harry nudged him in the ribs. 'I mean who got her pregnant?' The lad grinned at Louis.

 

'Noir Sir.' Louis' eyes went wide.

 

'My horse got Harry's horse pregnant?' The lad laughed.

 

'Yes Sir.' Harry turned to Louis, his face full of excitement.

 

'We are going to have a baby!' Harry hugged Louis and Louis just had to laugh. 'We are having a baby Lou!'

 

'We sure are!' Harry let go of Louis and looked at the lad.

 

'Can we see her?' The lad nodded and motioned for them to follow him to Mystique's stable where she was chewing on some hay. Harry immediately petted the horse who seemed to recognize him because she nudged his chest with her nose.

 

'Hello there gorgeous Misty. How's my little baby girl doing hmm?' Harry cooed at her as he stroked her long silver mane and Louis fonded hard, so very hard as he watched his boy tenderly pet the horse and rub her little swollen tummy. 'How's the little one hmm? Are you getting enough food and rest?' Mystique neighed as if she was understanding what Harry was actually saying to her. Harry placed a kiss one her head. 'That's my good girl. You are such a pretty little Miss aren't you? We should get Noir to marry you now huh?' Harry said as he threw a look at Louis, who continued to watch Harry get overexcited about a baby horse that was coming into the world, reminding him once more how much Harry loved kids and how, for selfish reasons, he was depriving him from ever being a father. Harry walked over to Louis.

 

'Hey are you alright? You look a little lost in thought there,' Harry told him as once again he looped his arm through Louis' and they both watched Misty chew on her hay happily. Louis smiled at him.

 

'I'm good. Was just thinking of the baby horse we are having.' Harry grinned.

 

'He or she will be beautiful. Lou can we go back to the house? Its so cold here and I need a cuppa.' Louis nodded and together they walked up to the house. They went back into the living room where the fire was roaring and they cuddled on the couch, sipping tea. Harry lay his head on Louis' lap and Louis fondly played with his hair.

 

'Harry?' Louis said, speaking softly.

 

'Hmm?' Harry replied. He had began dozing off.

 

'I have been thinking,' Louis said then paused. Harry opened his eyes and turned his head to look up at Louis.

 

'Thinking about what?' Louis rubbed his stubble nervously.

 

'I was thinking of talking to my mum about getting my sisters and brother together. I think its time.' Harry sat up quickly and looked at Louis with big round eyes.

 

'Really?' Louis nodded.

 

'I think its time that all I worked for takes off. It's time to bring my family together!'

 

I DO HOPE YOU LIKED THAT CHAPTER. CHAPTER 33 COMING SOON................


	33. Reunions

Reunions.

 

 

Louis paced the living room nervously, continuously looking at his watch without even realizing he was doing so. Harry was sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over the other at the knee reading his book, or trying to read his book because Louis was distracting him with his pacing and occasional huffing. Finally Harry, not being able to read one chapter without having to re-read it over again, put the book down and looked up at him.

 

'Will you relax? It's just your mother that's coming over Lou. Your mother! And seriously, you need to stop with this pacing habit that you have picked up!' Louis stopped pacing and looked at Harry with a look that spelled nerves and jitters. Harry felt a little sorry for him because Louis looked utterly wrecked.

 

'I'm so nervous,' Louis admitted as if he wasn't obvious enough. Louis paced again then stopped in front of Harry wringing his fingers. 'I mean, she's coming here because she's meeting her children Harry after all this time and I am meeting my sisters and brother. I feel like I'm going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Am I hyperventilating?' Harry placed the book on the coffee table, stood up and walked towards Louis. Harry took his hand in his and gave him a smile.

 

'It's going to be fine love and no you are not hyperventilating. Your mum will be here soon and she will be staying with us for a few days so we get to enjoy her. And Walter will be here to tell you whether he contacted your siblings yet or not and if he has, he will tell you what they said and he will advise you on how to proceed accordingly. Then you can go about setting up how to bring your siblings together and I am going to be with you every step of the way alright so please relax. I don't want anything to happen to you.' Harry placed a kiss on his forehead as Louis inhaled deeply, held his breath then exhaled slowly. Harry's scent calmed him a little.

 

'I don't think I can do it Harry,' he whispered. Harry cupped his cheeks in his warm hands and tilted his face up.

 

'Of course you can! No backing out now. The wheel has already been set in motion. Hopefully you will meet them over the next few days. All your past hardships were leading up to this moment right here and here you are, ready to embark on what you have worked so hard for : YOUR family Lou. You are about to reunite your family. Don't be so scared or doubt yourself now.' Louis looked into Harry's eyes that were looking back at him softly.

 

'What if they won't want to know me or my mum? What if they hate me Harry? What if they blame me for all that happened? What if they blame me for them being sent into the system? What if....'

 

'Louis Louis baby calm down sweetheart. Take another deep breath come on. Listen to me, Walter already told you that its a fifty fifty chance. Its a risk but a risk worth taking. You are a stranger to them. Just because you know them and you have been looking after them for all this time, you are still a stranger to them. They don't know YOU exist. This is going to be a shocking surprise to them, a whole new world that you are opening up to them. Up until now they only know the parents they have and the life they have lived. Once Walter brings them in, it will be a big thing for them to take in, having the life they have known so far ripped away from them and learning that they have a mother, other siblings, a brother like you who's well known and a self made multi-billionaire and a father who's in prison and that it was because of him that they were taken away from their family. That's a lot to take in Louis and remember they are young. I mean Doris and Ernest are only eighteen.' Harry paused and squeezed Louis' hand in reassurance.

 

'Louis, you have no idea how they will react to all of this and its not use worrying over something that hasn't happened yet. Its a big thing for them so you need to have faith and be prepared for whatever outcome. They are your family. Your flesh and blood. You owe it yourself, to your mother and to them to fix what your father has so badly broken. You have all suffered at his hand, you the most out of them all so do not leave room for doubts, not when you have come this far.' Louis kept his eyes locked on Harry.

 

'I am so scared,' he said quietly. 'I-I love them so much Harry even though they don't know me but I know them and I love them. I have watched them grow with other families, becoming the young people they are today. I took care of Lottie and Fizzy and Daisy and little Phoebes when they were babies.' Louis smiled at the memories. 'Phoebe was so much smaller than Daisy you know. When they were born, I remember when they brought them home. My body ached from the abuse and the beatings but they were so tiny and so beautiful and they smelled so wonderful that they took all my pain away. I remember creeping into their room at night to just watch them sleep so peacefully and wish I was them just to get away from it all. I loved to take care of them. Phoebe loved to be cuddled to sleep. I used to cuddle her a lot when he....after he...I-I needed her comfort.....' Louis choked a little on his words. Harry hugged him and kissed the top of his head.

 

'Hey enough of that yeah. These are happy times baby. Be happy. You did all this, finding them and taking care of them. You will see them soon Louis and you can hug them and cuddle them and spoil them all you want.' Louis chuckled against Harry's chest and pulled back to look at his lovely, supportive boyfriend.

 

'I hope they don't throw hissy fits like you do.' Harry scowled playfully at him and leaned in to kiss him. The sound of car tires crunching on the gravel driveway pulled Louis away from Harry, his eyes wide as he hurried towards the window that over looked the front of the house.

 

'It's Walter,' Louis announced as he turned to face Harry. 'What's taking my mum so long to get here?'

 

'Relax Louis. It's probably traffic at this time of day.' Harry sat back down but Louis resumed his pacing as their new butler David, who was Judy's brother, went to open the door for their guest. Louis and Harry had hired him after Judy had told them that the family he had worked for for the past twenty years, had moved to Spain and at the age of fifty seven it was unlikely that he would be hired again. Harry and Louis had discussed it and being this house was much bigger than the other house, they knew that they were short staffed and would need much more management to run this big house so they had hired David and they hadn't been disappointed. He was just like Judy : loyal, trustworthy and hard working.

 

David showed Walter into the living room where Louis was quick to greet him.

 

'My mum is not here yet. She is delayed,' Louis told him right away and Walter did not miss the nervous edge in his tone. He gave him a small smile and sat opposite Harry.

 

'Hello Harry,' Walter greeted him, totally ignoring Louis' panicked state of being. 'How are you?' Harry grinned at him, popping his left dimple.

 

'I'm very good thank you. How is Gloria?' Walter smiled like a goof which Louis found rather unsettling because Walter had been showing the soft side of himself a lot more lately. Louis rolled his eyes because of course Harry would ask after Gloria!

 

'She's very good. Thank you for inquiring after her Harry,' Walter told him and Louis could notice that Walter had developed a soft spot for Harry also. Did everyone in the world have to develop a soft spot for his Harry? Harry gave him another smile and Louis could see why everyone developed a soft spot for him. Harry was charming and could disarm you with just a smile!

 

'How far along is she?'

 

'Sixteen weeks,' Walter replied happily. He opened his briefcase and held an envelope out to Harry. 'Have a look,' he urged him. Harry took the envelope, opened it and pulled out two 3D sonogram photos. Immediately his hand flew to his mouth and his eyes went wide.

 

'Oh my God!' he whispered as he looked at the tiny baby in utero. 'This is so adorable,' he gushed. 'Look at that little nose and tiny tiny toes! So cute. Oh my God Walter, you are so so lucky and blessed!' Harry raised his head and looked at Louis who was still standing staring at him. The moment Harry's eyes rested on him, Louis didn't miss the longing in his eyes, the deep desire that babies always brought forth from inside the hiding place Harry had locked it away in. It sent a sharp stab of painful guilt inside Louis' chest.

 

'Look Lou, come and see,' Harry urged him excitedly. Louis walked over to Harry and sat down beside him, trying to muster up some enthusiasm as he looked at the black and white photos Harry was showing him even though he couldn't make out much at what Harry was pointing at. It all looked like a black and white mess to him. Harry immediately noticed Louis' lack of enthusiasm, knowing perfectly well that babies wasn't a subject Louis was comfortable with. Harry knew well enough Louis didn't like them and he didn't want them and it was irresponsible of him to get all excited in front of him. He reigned in his excitement as if flipping an off switch and handed the sonogram photos back to Walter. There was no need to make Louis uncomfortable. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'Very cute Walter. I am so happy for you and Gloria,' Harry told him as he placed his hand over Louis' giving it a small reassuring squeeze. Walter noticed the exchange and how Harry's demeanor suddenly changed. Louis just sat next to him, looking down. Harry cleared his throat trying to break the tense situation he had created, internally cursing himself for getting carried away in front of Louis.

 

'Walter, can I get you tea or coffee or a drink?' Harry asked him politely. Walter smiled at the boy.

 

'I will have coffee please Harry. I have given up the booze as much as I can. I need my wits to be clear these day,' Walter told him with a grin. Harry stood up but Louis tugged on his hand and looked up at him.

 

'Harry Judy will make it,' Louis told him softly. Harry squeezed his shoulder affectionately.

 

'She's busy making dinner. I'll get it. It's no problem.' Harry left the room and both Louis and Walter remained silent, some of the earlier tension still lingering in the room.

 

'When are you going to give that boy a child?' Walter asked him, breaking the silence. Louis raised his head and met Walter's eyes.

 

'Excuse me?' Walter smirked at him.

 

'That boy clearly loves kids. His face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw those sonograms. He's clearly dying to become a father.' Louis swallowed thickly.

 

'He's too young to be a father or even think about kids,' Louis said knowing as soon as the words left his mouth that it was a very stupid thing to say. Walter scoffed.

 

'Age is just a number. He's mature. You can tell he is ready to settle down. Bet if you proposed.....'

 

'I don't want kinds!' Louis said, stopping Walter's train of thought immediately. Walter pursed his lips as if thinking.

 

'But Harry wants them,' Walter pointed out.

 

'Look,' Louis huffed out. He was already stressed out as it was. He didn't need Walter to get up in his shit and stress him out any further. Just because he himself had had a change of heart and fell in love, made a baby and was settling to have his own family, didn't mean that Louis wanted the same. 'Harry knows I don't want marriage or kids. I made that clear to him from the beginning and he accepted it.' Walter narrowed his eyes slightly at Louis.

 

'You did not give him a choice. You laid down your decisions to him and it was a case of take it or leave it.'

 

'He had a fucking choice!' Louis snapped at him.

 

'So let me get this straight. If he hadn't agreed with your rules and chose that he did in fact want marriage and kids, would you have changed your mind about your decisions or let him walk away?' Louis had never thought about that. What if in fact Harry had walked away because he had wanted marriage and kids and didn't accept his choices?

 

'I don't know,' Louis said quietly because he really didn't know what he would have done had Harry insisted he did want marriage and kids. 'Fact is, he accepted.'

 

'But you knew that that would never have been a problem because you knew that Harry loved you so much that he would not let anything get in the way of being with you even if it meant giving up his dreams of one day being a husband and father. That boy would do anything for you Louis, anything at all and would not let anything get in the way of you two being together. Don't you want a family with him Louis? Don't you want kids with him, make him happy? See him glow?'

 

'Walter stop! Stop now!' Louis warned him. 'This is not something I want to discuss with you or anyone else. This is a matter Harry and I both agreed on.'

 

'You agreed on it. He just went along with it to please you.' Louis was about to argue back but stopped abruptly when Harry walked in carrying a tray. He hoped to God that Harry hadn't heard any of the conversation.

 

'Here we are,' Harry said cheerfully as he placed the tray on the table and began serving tea and coffee. Just as he was almost finished pouring his own cup of tea, the sound of another set of wheels crunching on the gravel reached them. Louis sprang up off the couch.

 

'That has to be mum!' he said as he dashed towards the door and flung it open, even before David could reach it. Sure enough, the car that he had rented specifically for his mother because it was wheelchair accessible, stopped in front of the house. Angus got out and opened the door for Maggie just as Harry reached Louis and laced his fingers through his, knowing that Louis needed support now more than ever. Angus opened the back double doors of the van and a small ramp was lowered. Hugh wheeled Johanna out of the van.

 

'Mum!'Louis greeted her happily as both he and Harry walked towards her still holding hands. Johanna opened her arms and both of them bent down and hugged her as she wrapped her arms around both their shoulders.

 

'My boys,' she gushed. 'So good to see you both again,' she told them as she placed kisses on each of their cheeks then looked around at the sprawling house and grounds before her, finally resting her eyes on Louis.

 

'I thought you told me you bought a house not a mansion!' she exclaimed, a beautiful smile on her face. Harry scoffed as he nudged Louis' shoulder.

 

'Your son tends to lean rather towards the extra extravagant. He is so extra!' Harry told her fondly, looking at Louis with sparkling heart eyes. Johanna laughed and Louis rolled his eyes playfully at them.

 

'It's just a house,' he groaned. Johanna beamed at him full of adoration and pride.

 

'My beautiful humble and modest boy,' she said lovingly.

 

'Mum stop!' he whined as his cheeks pinked. Harry pinched his cheeks playfully.

 

'My extra adorable extra gorgeous boyfriend!' Harry cooed making Louis blush deeper. Louis swatted his hands away, a shy smile on his lips.

 

'Will you both fucking stop?' Louis whined.

 

'Louis William Tomlinson! Language!' his mother scolded him and Louis blushed harder.

 

'Sorry,' he mumbled and Harry fonded harder. He pecked his cheeks and took the wheelchair from Hugh.

 

'Thank you Hugh. I'll see to Mrs. Tomlinson,' Harry told him kindly. 'Please, you and Maggie go into the kitchen and rest. Judy will show you to your rooms and will make you lunch.' Hugh bowed a little.

 

'Yes Sir. Thank you,' he replied dutifully. Harry put his hand on his shoulder.

 

'Hugh please, just call me Harry alright.' Hugh nodded.

 

'A-as you wish S-......Harry,' Hugh said, clearly uncomfortable at calling him by his first name. He and Maggie went off to the side of the house through the back entrance to the kitchen. Louis wrapped his arm around his waist and kissed his cheek.

 

'You make my staff uncomfortable,' he told him with a smile. Harry looked at him a little shocked.

 

'Why? I-I didn't mean to...w-what did I do wrong?' he asked a little panicked. Louis kissed his cheek again and Johanna let a small awww escape her lips.

 

'You did nothing wrong baby. They are just not used to calling their superiors by their first name,' Louis explained. Harry gave him a look of disbelief.

 

'I am nobody's superior Louis! I will not be. They are employees earning a living like we all do. They are doing a job and getting paid for it, a respectable job which in no way makes them inferior to anyone else. They are not slaves or subordinates and I do not like the idea of them serving me and looking at me like I am their superior. I am not! I will not be!'

 

Johanna looked from one to the other, Harry with his arms folded across his chest, pouting a little and Louis standing erect his eyes on Harry. It was the first time she was seeing them both in their relationship habitat. She looked at her son, waiting for his reaction at being opposed to and stood up to. She knew he hated it and didn't tolerate it.

 

'Harry,' Louis began but Harry held his hand up and Louis stopped talking. Johanna gasped a little. How was her son listening? How was her son even giving over his control and obeying? She watched fascinated at the way Harry handled her son.

 

'No Louis. I wasn't brought up making class distinction. To me the CEO of a company and the janitor are the same.' Louis scoffed.

 

'Not likely.' Harry placed his hands on his hip, popping his hip out and looked at Louis a little sternly. Johanna had to bite her lip to not burst out laughing because this was something out of a sitcom!

 

'Really Louis? Just know that I respect a CEO and a janitor the same way. Their income or work status should not define them as a person. Both of them do needful jobs. Can you imagine if we didn't have people that collect the rubbish? Or window cleaners? Are we to look down on these people just because they do lesser jobs than a CEO or a lawyer?' Louis held up his hands.

 

'Harry,' he said again but Harry continued.

 

'You know, manual jobs are just as needful as clerical jobs. How would your big building run if you didn't have cleaners, electricians, maintanance people.....'

 

'Harry baby stop,' Louis told him with a smile on his face. 'I was just going to say that you were right. I was wrong to judge.'

 

'What?' Johanna asked, surprised.

 

'You were?' Harry asked at the same time. Louis threw his head back and laughed. When he stopped, he cupped Harry's face and pecked his lips.

 

'Sweetheart, I know how you are and I agree with you. Unfortunately, my position does not allow me to have my employees call me by my first name but if you so much desire that they call you by your first name, I will make sure that they will feel comfortable with it. And I will make sure to start saying good morning to my janitor and window cleaners and maintanance people. Happy now?' Harry smiled and kissed him back.

 

'Very,' he told him.

 

''Now, how about we go inside because Walter is waiting.'

 

Harry began pushing Jay's chair up the temporary ramps they had installed outside for easy access to get inside the house. Jay looked up at Harry.

 

'What have you done to him? He's so......changed,' she asked him with a fond smile. Harry smiled down at her and shrugged.

 

'I only gave him the love he so much needed. Love, like pain, changes people.' Jay reached back and placed her hand over Harry's.

 

'And change him you did my boy.' Harry smiled happily but said nothing. He continued to push Jay into the living room. As they entered, Walter stood you and stretched out his hand towards Jay.

 

'Mrs. Tomlinson, so lovely to finally meet you.' Jay smiled up at Walter.

 

'Like wise,' she replied politely. Harry sat down on the couch beside Jay's wheelchair and Louis took the armchair on her other side while Walter sat across from them. Louis reached out and took his mother's hand, holding it tightly clasped in his own. Walter looked from one to the other as Jay reached out and took Harry's hand in her own.

 

'I have contacted all six of your children Mrs. Tomlinson,' Walter began. Louis squeezed his mother's hand as her breath hitched, a soft sob escaping her mouth. 'I have explained to them that Mr. Tomlinson of TGE would like to meet with them. Charlotte was the only one who was acquainted with the name and asked right away what did the CEO of Tomlinson Global possibly want to meet with her and her sister. I simply told them its a matter I could not discuss with them over the phone but they will be informed about at the meeting. Felicitie, Pheobe, Daisy, Ernest and Doris all agreed to attend the meeting after I reassured them that they too will be notified of the reason for this meeting once they were all seated with you. I think they are all curious as to why they have been summoned. I am pretty sure they will Google you to find out who you are though.' Louis exhaled heavily.

 

'So they agreed to come.' Walter gave them a small smile.

 

'They did but keep in mind that we don't know how this will go Louis. It can go either way. They can accept this or reject it. They don't even know they have other siblings. It's going to be big for them so my advice to you is to be prepared for anything.' Louis nodded and Johanna gave Walter a small smile.

 

'When can I see my children?' she told him softly. Walter looked at Louis.

 

'How do you wish to proceed?' Louis looked from Walter to his mum to Harry. Harry gave him an encouraging nod.

 

'Bring them in this week Walter. We don't want to drag it out any further. I will get my assistant to sort out hotels and transportation for them. When they are done, I will email you all the details.' Walter nodded.

 

'Fine by me. I will wait to hear from you then.' Walter made to get up but Johanna stopped him.

 

'There's one more thing, if I may,' she said softly. Walter sat back down and gave her his attention but Johanna was looking at Louis.

 

'What is it mum?' Louis asked her. Louis felt panic rise inside him because his mother looked worried and a little scared. 'Mum,' he said again a little urgently.

 

'Sweetheart,' she began softly. 'I know we have this to deal with honey and I don't mean to add more to your burden but,' Johanna paused and swallowed thickly, then licked her lips nervously as she squeezed Louis' hand.

 

'But what mum?' Louis told her, his panic rising. 'What is it? You know I'm here for whatever. What do you need?' Johanna gave him a small smile and threw a look at Walter.

 

'Well since maybe your lawyer is here, I thought maybe you could tell him about the divorce,' she said softly and watched Louis' face change from calm to tense to dark to angry. He pulled his hand out of his mother's grasp.

 

'No!' he said through gritted teeth.

 

'Louis please,' Johanna pleaded with him. 'I want to divorce him.' Louis ground his teeth together so hard that his jaw hurt.

 

'Mum no! We've already had this discussion multiple times and I told you that its not going to happen. I told you to leave it!' Louis snapped at her and Johanna shrank away from him.

 

'Louis,' Harry said slowly but a little firmly. He wouldn't allow Louis to talk to his mother this way. Louis' eyes rested on Harry. They were cold and hard.

 

'Harry stay the fuck out of it!'

 

'Louis,' his mother whispered when she heard the way he snapped at Harry. Louis' eyes left Harry's face and focused on his mother again.

 

'It's not going to happen mum I told you already. You need to let it go,' Louis told her, his voice harsh. Johanna was visibly getting upset and Harry couldn't allow this. He got up and walked to Louis' side.

 

'Baby please,' Harry told him calmly because right now Louis was looking like a volcano ready to erupt. He gently put a hand on his shoulder but Louis shrugged it off.

 

'I thought I told you to stay the fuck out of it Harry. This is not your fucking business!' Louis growled. Harry felt a little taken aback that Louis was telling him to keep out of it. Harry nodded and resumed his seat beside Johanna without saying another word because he felt a little hurt and he got a feeling of deja' vu back to when Louis had always kept him out and away. Suddenly, he felt left out but Louis was right; this was none of his business. It was their family not his! Walter watched as everything unfolded before him.

 

'Sweetheart,' his mother whispered again in a pleading voice as she took his hand. 'Please be gentle with him. I-I told Harry about it......' Louis' eyes pierced right through his mother.

 

'Why would you tell him? This is nobody's business mum. I told you before! I won't allow this! I won't!' Louis shouted, making Johanna jump slightly. Harry took her hand and squeezed it for comfort. Walter cleared his throat.

 

'Louis what is this all about?' Louis glared at him.

 

'Nothing of your concern!' he spat at Walter but Walter didn't seem phased. He was used to Louis' tantrums and anger. Walter settled back in the couch.

 

'Mrs. Tomlinson, how may I help you?' Walter asked her, directing his attention towards her. Johanna looked from Louis to Walter and back to Louis. Walter could see she was conflicted. He gave her a small smile of encouragement.

 

'Mrs. Tomlinson I have known your son for a very long time. He is all bark but not bite. Please, tell me what is bothering you and how may I be of service to you.'

 

'Walter leave,' Louis hissed before his mother could say anything. Walter leaned forward in his seat.

 

'Louis, your mother needs....'

 

'I know what my mother fucking needs and its not you!' Louis snapped at him angrily. Johanna bit her bottom lip, tears pooling in her eyes. Walter kept his eyes on Louis and he knew there was something here that was clearly difficult for Louis as it was difficult for his mother. Harry watched the three of them and he knew he had to act. He got up again and sat next to Louis.

 

'Louis,' he said softly. Louis ground his teeth together harder.

 

'Harry don't!' he hissed. Harry took his hand which was clammy.

 

'Hey. Louis hey look at me,' Harry told him calmly even though he was a little bit hurt that Louis had told him to stay out of it but he knew that Louis was angry and he didn't mean it. 'Baby look at me.' Ever so slowly, Louis turned his eyes and rested them on Harry. Harry gave him a small smile.

 

'Hi,' he told him as he squeezed his hand gently. 'Sweetheart I know this is difficult for you just as it is difficult for you mum but...'

 

'But nothing!' Louis growled his eyes still on Harry. Harry sighed heavily.

 

'Just let her talk to Walter please. Just let her talk sweetheart. Give her a chance yeah. Remember that this is as hard for her as it is for you and you won't be doing anything alone. I'll be with you every step of the way whatever we might encounter. Please Louis.' Harry could tell that Louis was struggling with the thoughts running in his head. He knew that he was scared. Harry squeezed his hand again and moved closer to him until his lips were hovering right next to his ear.

 

'I'm with you sweetheart through whatever. We're a team right? Together. Yours. Trust.' Louis exhaled and seemed to deflate under Harry's words. He bowed his head a little just as Harry placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'I love you,' Harry whispered. Louis turned to look at his mother who had tears falling on her cheeks. The way Harry handled him overwhelmed her.

 

'I'm sorry mum,' he said quietly. 'I'm just...I'm worried.'

 

'Oh honey,' his mother cried as she opened her arms for him and Louis fell into he embrace. She hugged him tightly and kissed his face. 'I know sweetheart but Harry and I are with you. We can get through this together.' Johanna reached for Harry's hand which he took immediately. Harry rubbed Louis' back with his free hand, remembering to keep himself close to Louis to remind him that he was there, keeping him grounded like he had done back in Doncaster. Louis straightened back up and kissed his mum's cheek as he wiped away a few of her tears. He nodded at her, gave her a small sad smile and sat silently beside Harry, his hand clasped inside Harry's big one. Louis knew that Harry was his anchor right now.

 

'Tell me what can I do for you Mrs. Tomlinson,' Walter told her softly as he settled back on the couch. Johanna wiped her teary eyes.

 

'I want a divorce,' she said quietly. Walter nodded. He knew that her husband was in prison so he didn't ask unnecessary questions knowing fully well how Louis felt about this.

 

'I can arrange that,' Walter told her. 'I will make it all as easy and as painless for the both of you.'

 

'But it won't be quiet and painless,' Louis said through gritted teeth, his voice all choked up. Harry squeezed his hand.

 

'What makes you think that Louis?' Walter asked him. Louis swallowed thickly because he didn't want to cry in front of them and he surely didn't want to talk about his father. He didn't want to show how he was still afraid of him. Only Harry could feel the way he was trembling.

 

'He....he won't do this quietly. I know him.'

 

'Louis, its been eighteen years. He might have changed,' Walter reasoned with him.

 

'Monsters don't change,' Louis hissed. 'He will want something in return. He will bargain this. We have never had any contact with him in all this time, I don't see why we should....'

 

'Your mother wants a divorce Louis. She is entitled to it,' Walter told him. Louis' hand that wasn't in Harry's hand curled into a fist, his finger nails digging into the tender skin of his palm.

 

'Don't you think I wish I could cut myself off from him too?' Louis spat. 'I loathe that his blood runs in my veins. I detest that I have his last name.' Walter sighed heavily.

 

'There is nothing I can do regards to the blood running inside of you but there is something that can be done about the surname,' Walter told him.

 

'I'm not changing it,' Louis told him firmly. 'As much as I loathe it, its the name of my company. Its an established name.' Walter gave him a sly smile.

 

'But we can take it from him and you can trademark it. You will only need to do a slight adjustment to it so he won't be able to touch it or demand it back.' Louis looked at him curiously, clearly interested by this new information.

 

'How?' he asked. Walter smiled because he knew that it would get his attention. He leaned forward in his chair.

 

'This doesn't happen often Louis that a person takes a parent to court to disown them of their own paternal surname but, with you being who you are and maybe a hefty sum, we can get a judge to rule this in your favor. He will be made to give up his surname, probably made to take his mother's maiden name and you since, you want to keep it and trademark it, you will need to make a tiny adjustment. Instead of Tomlinson, you will be Tommlinson. Or Tomlinnson. Or Tomlinsen. Depends on your preference. That's all. It will vary from all the other Tomlinsons round the UK or worldwide because that slight adjustment will be your trademark and it will be your copyright.' Louis' eyes went a little wide with excitement.

 

'Really that can be done?' he asked. Walter nodded.

 

'Like I said, a hefty sum to a judge and we can sway it. We can get you and your mother free from him once and for all.' Johanna let out a strangled sob and she started to cry. Louis pulled his hand out of Harry's grasp and got up. He got on his knees in front of his mother and took both her hands in his own, kissing her knuckles.

 

'Don't cry mum please. I'm sorry for being an asshole. We'll do this mum even though I'm worried. I don't trust him.' Johanna kissed his face.

 

'I don't trust him either sweetheart but this is all a big new beginning for us. You and Harry. Me meeting Harry and he joining our family. Us meeting your siblings, my children and hopefully we will add to our growing family if they accept us. We need to cut all ties with him baby once and for all. And what Walter said, about taking his surname and making it your's, your siblings, if they accept our family, they can have the new surname. We will finally be a real proper family baby, the family you worked so hard for and whom you have taken care of for all this time.' Louis hugged his mother tighter.

 

'Okay mum. Alright. Let's do this.' Johanna kissed his hair.

 

'My brave brave boy. I love you so much my darling,' she told him as she cried and continued to kiss his hair. Louis pulled back and looked up at his mother.

 

'I love you too mum but we will have to do this after we meet my brother and sisters. We will proceed after yeah.' Johanna cupped his face in her hands and nodded. She kissed his forehead.

 

'Yes sweetheart. One step at a time.' Louis got up and sat back down near Harry who immediately wrapped his arm around his shoulders, giving him the comfort he needed. Harry placed a kiss on his temple and Louis gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand, reassuring him that he was alright. Louis turned to Walter.

 

'Start with the divorce procedures and with taking my surname from him. Do not let him bargain anything. Under no circumstances Walt, do not let him make any demands. Just have all the necessary documents ready for him to sign so after we meet my siblings, we do this and get it over and done with.' Walter nodded, got up, shook hands with Johanna, said his goodbyes and left to make all the necessary arrangements and preparations.

 

 

X

 

 

A few days later, Louis was sitting in his office chair fidgeting nervously with his tie, his belt, his things on his desk, his hair, anything.

 

'Will you stop it?' Harry told him, a smile on his face. Johanna chuckled.

 

'I'm nervous alright,' he protested and pouted a little. Harry got up from the couch and walked over to his desk, walked round it and sat on the edge of it.

 

'Well you should be. Your brother and sisters should be here any minute now,' Harry told him, his voice tinged with excitement. Louis rubbed his hands together then rubbed them against his thighs.

 

'God I feel like I'm going to die,' he said as he exhaled heavily. Johanna watched from her wheelchair as Harry bent at the waist and leaned closer to Louis, kissing him softly on his lips. She smiled fondly at them.

 

'Relax sweetheart,' Harry whispered against his lips. Louis closed his eyes and breathed in Harry's words, Harry's scent, Harry's essence. He never knew he needed someone's strength like he needed Harry's. 'Take a few deep breaths for me like I taught you how. We need you focused for this like I know you are able to.' Harry cupped his cheek, his thumb slowly stroking his cheekbone as he watched Louis with his eyes still closed, taking in deep breaths, holding and exhaling like Harry had taught him to. Louis opened his eyes and focused on Harry.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered as he pulled him in for a deeper, longer kiss. Johanna cleared her throat but the happy smile was so evident on her face. They pulled apart and smiled at her. Johanna looked at Harry.

 

'How do you do it?' she asked him curiously. Harry shrugged as he took Louis' hand and kissed his knuckles.

 

'I just know what he needs, when he needs it and I simply give it to him. I know that when he lacks strength, I have to give him mine. I know that when he's scared I have to be brave for him. I promised him I would never let him go back into the darkness and if he does slip back into it, I will be there with him lighting his way back home.' Louis swallowed thickly from all the emotions coursing inside of him. Johanna placed her hand on her heart.

 

'You are truly one of a kind Harry. I think you were fashioned for my son. You were born to love him.' Harry smiled down at Louis who was looking up him with misty eyes.

 

'Then I am thankful for my parents for conceiving me and for giving birth to me if I was meant to love this sweet creature here.' Louis sniffed but smiled.

 

'You're so fucking sappy,' he whispered.

 

'Louis!' his mum chastised. A knock on the door disturbed them.

 

'Yes,' Louis called out. The door pushed open and Lynn's head popped in round the door.

 

'Mr. Lynch and your guests have arrived Sir. They are in the boardroom.'

 

'T-thank you Lynn,' Louis told her, feeling his nerves attack him once again. Lynn closed the door and Louis let out a breath. Harry stood up and clapped his hands excitedly.

 

'Ready to meet your brother and sisters?' he told him happily. Then he looked at Johanna. 'Ready to meet your kids Jay? Come on guys this is a happy day. I'm so excited for you all and I can't wait to meet them too.' Harry walked over to Johanna and placed a kiss on her forehead.

 

'Maggie will be with you in a minute,' Harry told her. 'She is going to bring you tea and you wait here until I come and get you alright. Stay calm. Louis will talk to them first and I will be with him all the while so you won't have to worry about a thing. We only decided this route to save you heartache just in case they......' Harry stopped because he didn't want to go over it again. They had decided that Johanna shouldn't be in the room when Louis delivered the news just in case they didn't take it well. Johanna nodded and kissed Harry's cheek.

 

'Thank you. Take care of him,' she whispered. 'He's not as strong as he'd like us to think he is.' Harry nodded.

 

'I know but he will be fine. He's a warrior but I will not leave his side.' Harry turned to face Louis. 'Shall we go sweetheart?' Louis nodded and stood up on shaky legs. Harry stood by his side and took his trembling hand. He squeezed it in reassurance and together they walked out of the office, just as Maggie came in carrying tea for Johanna. They walked together down the corridor towards the boardroom at the end of the long hall.

 

'I'm terrified,' Louis whispered.

 

'I know. And its all natural. Last time you saw them they were tiny, the last set of twins not even born yet. You don't know what their reactions will be.' They stopped in front of the closed door of the boardroom and Harry turned Louis to look at him. 'Right, behind that door, is what you have worked for all your life. Its all your hardships paying off sweetheart. Its the reason why you did what you had to do and why you never gave up. Whatever the outcome, this is you winning baby. Even if they reject you as their family, you have won. You have seen to their upbringing financially, you have taken care of your mother. You have succeeded in bringing your family together so you have won. Now, let's go in there and meet them alright.' Louis nodded. He felt empowered by Harry's words, his positive attitude and he felt like he could do this. He stood up straighter, squared his shoulders and nodded at Harry again.

 

'I can do this. I WILL do this.' He reached down and laced his fingers through Harry's. 'Please keep holding me and don't let me fall apart.' Harry pecked his lips.

 

'I won't. I got you and you got this.' Louis nodded again as if to reassure himself that he truly had this even though he was shaking and scared to the marrow. He pushed open the door, held his breath and walked inside with Harry beside him, his fingers tightening around his as his eyes softly landed on six faces looking back at him. Six faces with questioning looks and six faces that looked so much like him. Louis faltered in his step because his knees buckled at the sight of his beautiful siblings. Harry placed his palm on the small of his back to keep him steady. Louis swallowed a sob because here they were! And for the first time in his thirty one years of life, he didn't regret whoring himself if it meant that he had done it for these six beautiful people sitting at his table. Harry gently guided him to the head of the table where Louis sat down, his eyes still glued to them, taking in his siblings. Harry sat down in the chair next to him, still holding his hand tightly in his own. Walter cleared his throat because he could see how Louis was staring at them and the way the six of them were staring back at him.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' Walter said, opting to address him formally given the current situation. Louis tore his eyes away from his siblings and looked at Walter who gave him an encouraging nod to commence. Louis swallowed, his throat dry. How was he supposed to tell them all of this? He was going to change their lives as they knew it. Could he do that? It was a little too late for that now! He could lie, saying they were here because they had been selected for internships! He dismissed the idea right away. He had to tell them. Harry squeezed his hand.

 

'It's alright,' he whispered to Louis. 'You can do this.'

 

'I know you!' one of the girls interrupted their moment. Louis' eyes went wide as they zeroed in on Charlotte. Her voice was so sweet and soft. Her eyes blue just like his.

 

'E-excuse me?' Louis stammered, a little shocked because how could she know him? They had never met before today.

 

'Not you. Him,' Charlotte said indicating Harry.

 

'Me?' Harry squeaked in surprise. Charlotte gave him a small smile.

 

'Yes. You walked for Marc Jacobs. You're the new model he introduced. I follow fashion and I saw you walk. Congratulations. You did an amazing job for a first timer.' Harry blushed furiously and looked at Louis, who was gaping at him because his sister knew Harry. Then he looked back at her.

 

'Thank you,' he said shyly. Charlotte nodded at him.

 

'You're welcome,' she said and Harry could see a little of Louis in her, in her way of being, in her confidence and self assurance. Her eyes were exactly like his, same shade of blue. She was out spoken and sure of herself. There was surely a lot of the Tomlinson gene in her! Harry nudged Louis a little, wanting him to take the attention off of him. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'Hello,' he croaked out, clearing his throat again because it was dry. The buzzer on the table phone went off. Louis pressed it. 'Yes Lynn?' he said.

 

'Sir, shall I bring in refreshments?' Louis looked at his siblings sitting around the table, six strangers totally unaware that they were all related to each other and to him. This was going to be tougher than he thought. He needed a moment to gather his wits.

 

'Yes please.' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He had to remember who he was. Channel his inner CEO and bring it forth. Harry had told him that he got this and he had to own it. He looked each of them in the eyes.

 

'Welcome to Tomlinson Global Enterprises,' he said, his voice steady and calm even though he was shitting himself on the inside. 'I am Louis Tomlinson and this is my company. You are probably wondering why I have invited you all here today.' He assessed the look on their faces, his eyes going from one to the other. God they were all so beautiful. They all had blue eyes except Felicite who had brown eyes just like HIS but he won't think about him now! They all looked at him, waiting to elaborate. Before he could, there was a knock on the door and Lynn came in with refreshments. An intern was with her and he served everyone in the room. When they were gone and Louis was comforted by a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of him and Harry's warm hand on his thigh, he resumed his task. There was no easy way to do this and no beating about the bush any longer, so he decided to just get it all out there.

 

'The reason you were all invited here is that I wanted to meet you all. I know it might seem strange to you that me, a complete stranger invited you to his company to meet you but the thing is, we are...' he paused and swallowed. Harry squeezed his thigh. 'We are related.' Louis watched their expressions go from calm to shocked to surprised.

 

'We are what?' Ernest asked. Louis smiled at his brother.

 

'Ernest,' he said, 'Doris. Phoebe, Daisy, Felicitie and Charlotte. I am your eldest brother and you are all siblings. All seven of us are siblings.' There were gasps all around the table as they all looked at each other taking in the persons in the room that up to a few seconds ago were nothing but complete strangers, now they were siblings!

 

'What do you mean?' Felicitie finally spoke up and she looked so much like their mother it hurt. 'Charlotte is my only sister.' Louis took a sip of his coffee.

 

'Felicitie we are all siblings. You were all adopted.....'

 

'We know that!' Daisy said a little exasperated. 'Now I have six more siblings?'

 

'How is it possible?' Charlotte asked. Louis noticed that Phoebe and Doris where the quiet ones.

 

'If you give me a moment, I will explain it all to you. I know this is confusing and a shock but I have been waiting for a long time to bring you all together. I was just waiting for Doris and Ernest to turn eighteen before I could bring this to you.' They all remained looking at him and he knew they were waiting for an explanation.

 

'As strange as this may sound to you, we all lived together with our parents in Doncaster. Yes, you have parents and they are both alive.' There were more gasps around the table and Louis noticed that Felicitie and Doris had tears falling from their eyes. His heart lurched in his chest.

 

'Please don't cry. I know this is difficult but.....'

 

'Why now?' Charlotte snapped a little angrily at him, taking Louis by surprise. Had she inherited his temper?

 

'Charlotte,' Louis said calmly, 'I have not abandoned you. Our mother has not abandoned you either. The circumstances we found ourselves in......'

 

'What kind of parents give their children, six of them up for adoption?' Ernest asked.

 

'I will explain,' Louis told them. 'Please.' He was beginning to feel nauseous. This was not going well. He looked at Harry anxiously but Harry just gave him a small smile and a nod, urging him on. There was nothing left to lose now.

 

'You were all so little,' Louis told them. His eyes rested on Doris and Ernest. 'You two were not even born yet when....when tragedy hit our family. What I am about to tell you is not easy. It hasn't been easy for mum and myself.' Louis paused and licked his lips. He won't go into detail unless it was necessary. He would save them the horrifying details. Louis reached under the table and clasped Harry's hand tightly.

 

'I had....I um had been abused by...by our father for five years. Phyisical abuse, metal abuse and...and sexual abuse. Our mother....she had been abused too. He beat her because she tried to protect me and make it stop for me. He....he threatened her that if she left him he would kill me and make her watch. He threatened me that if...if I caused trouble he would hurt mum and you guys but he...he never touched any of you. He loved you girls. I....I took care of you when mum was unable to. You were all so little. It was us and you Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebes.' Louis used their nicknames and he watched as the four of them silently began to cry. He took in a shuddering breath and continued :

 

'When our mum was pregnant with you Ernest and Doris, things got really bad and dad was hurting mum so I hurt him to make him stop. I was just thirteen. He....he pushed mum down the stairs. She was seven months pregnant. I thought he had killed her or you babies but she was alive and so were you. However, the fall had paralyzed her from the neck down. I was taken away and locked in juvie. Social services took you all away and we never were told what had happened to you. I had learned later that Doris and Ernest where born prematurely but alive. Mum and I never saw anyone of you again after that night. When I left juvie at eighteen, my sole objective was to work and find you all and bring our family back together. It was hard and difficult and many times I thought I was not going to make it. I had no one and nothing but I worked hard and made it. When I was financially stable, I found mum first. She was in a state home and I had the means then to help her physically. Today she can move her arms and neck but she is still in a wheelchair as she cannot walk. Then I started looking for you and I found out where you all had been adopted and I made sure you were all taken care of financially. I....I watched you grow. I never let go of you.' He stopped and all that was heard was their soft cries and sniffing. Louis felt the tears burn in his eyes and he didn't try to hold them back this time. He let them flow.

 

'I am so sorry,' he whispered to them. Lottie looked at him with tearful eyes.

 

'So its been you that has provided for us financially for all these years?' she asked him in a broken voice and Louis simply nodded.

 

'Did our adoptive parents know about you?' Felicitie asked.

 

'No. I remained anonymous. They never knew about me or mum. We...we didn't want to disrupt your lives growing up. You all had good families and were very loved.' Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulder and pulled him closer. Louis let him because he felt as if he was falling apart. Walter sat watching and Louis could tell that he was emotional too. Phoebe who had been silent all this time, moved her chair back and got up. She walked the length of the room and stood before Louis looking down at him then without another word, she fell into his arms and hugged him tightly, crying softly against his chest. Louis was caught off guard as he was not expecting this but wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

 

'Oh Phoebes,' he whispered into her hair as he stroked the length of it. Doris followed next, hugging Louis without any words then looking shyly at her new found sister, smiled at her and they hugged tightly. Ernest stood up, drying his eyes with the back of his hand and walked over to Louis who had now stood up as did Harry.

 

'So I have a brother?' Ernest asked, his voice choked with emotions. Louis gave him a feeble smile and a small shrug.

 

'If you'll have me,' he said quietly. Ernest seemed to hesitate a little but then hugged Louis tightly too and Louis was now freely crying. Harry was crying too with happiness at seeing Louis being accepted by his brother. Ernest hugged Phoebe and kissed her cheek. The other three remained seated, crying softly and Louis looked at them hopefully. He knew that what he had just told them was too much for them to take in but he still held hope. Phoebe pulled away from hugging Doris and looked at her twin who was sitting in the chair, her head down, visibly fighting her emotions. Phoebe looked up at Louis and saw that he was a mess as he looked at his three other sisters. She took his hand and squeezed it a little.

 

'She's very stubborn,' she told him quietly. She looked at her sister with much fondness. 'She doesn't take lightly to changes in her life especially big ones such as this. She struggles and finds it hard to deal and she absolutely hates surprises. She has a temper too, a very short one might I add. She loses it easily and yells a lot when she does. Even though we are twins, character wise we are very different. Daisy likes to be in control and pretty much have things her way but she is the kindest person I have even known. She gives so much to others and never expects anything back.' Louis smiled at Phoebe.

 

'I know that this is not easy for any of you,' he told her softly. Phoebe left his side and went back to her twin. She sat down beside her and Louis watched as Phoebe gently rubbed her sister's back and talked her down. So Daisy was the one like him after all! The same blood did run in their veins. In all of them. They were his family and he was theirs.

 

His eyes moved over to Charlotte and Felicitie who still sat together, holding each other and weeping softly, their foreheads resting against each other. He hated that they were hurting. He hated that he had brought about this change in their life, gave them the horrid truth of their origins. He felt Harry's hand on his lower back and immediately he relaxed. Louis looked at him and Harry gave him a smile then nodded towards his two sisters. Louis straightened himself and walked over to Lottie and Fizzy as Harry went back next to Walter who was chatting with Doris and Ernest.

 

Louis pulled out a chair and sat beside them. 'I'm so sorry I brought this on you,' he told them, his voice thick with emotions. 'But you are my family. I wanted you back. I....'

 

'Where is he?' Lottie cut him off and for a moment Louis looked at her in confusion, not getting who she was asking after.

 

'Our father,' Fizzy clarified. Louis went cold. He hoped deep in his heart that they weren't asking because they wanted to meet him! He hadn't considered this! It hadn't crossed his mind! What if they wanted to meet him? What was he supposed to do? He started to panic internally immediately missing Harry by his side. He swallowed thickly.

 

'He...he's in prison,' he told them quietly. Lottie and Fizzy looked at each other.

 

'How long is he in there for?' Lottie asked him.

 

'A long time,' Louis whispered, looking down and away from his sisters. He suddenly felt ashamed. Even though he hadn't told them the full extent of the abuse he had suffered, they knew that he had been abused.

 

'Good!' Lottie said. 'I hope he rots!' Louis looked at her with wide eyes and a grateful heart. He sighed in relief. Lottie was a little like him too and right now he wanted to hug her so much. He felt Fizzy's warm hand on his.

 

'Did he hurt you so much? And...and mama?' she asked him, her voice all choked up. Louis felt his throat tighten and swell and it hurt to swallow. Tears pooled in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

 

'Yes,' he whispered. Suddenly, both his sisters engulfed him in a hug.

 

'We're sorry you had to go through so much,' Fizzy sobbed in his neck. 'Lottie and I....we...we remember a little. Lots of yelling and fighting but....but we didn't know what memories they were...we...we had no idea Louis.' Louis rubbed her back tenderly.

 

'Its not your fault sweetheart. You were just babies...just babies,' Louis said full on crying now. Lottie pulled back and looked into his face through her tearful eyes.

 

'I was six. I remembered you a little but as I grew older, you....you disappeared and I-I thought it was just childhood imagination. You became like an imaginary friend to me but I-I always had this memory of a sweet soft voice singing me to sleep...singing Bridge Over Troubled Water to me. Of course I didn't know what song it was back then but it...it kinda grew with me and I-I didn't know why. I- I didn't understand it but it felt important to me and it-it was with me through my difficult days and I-I didn't know why the lyrics "Sail on silver girl, sail on by, your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way, see how they shine." I always sang them and had them painted on my bedroom wall and I-I didn't know what they meant but now I know. It was you wasn't it? It was you who sang it to me while you put me to bed?' Louis was so choked up, he couldn't breathe and he was crying so much he couldn't see clearly. Finally he took in a ragged breath.

 

'You remember,' he told her brokenly. Lottie hugged him tighter.

 

'I always felt like there was more to my life than the life I had. I told Fizzy about it too. Whenever I saw you on social media, I felt like I-I knew you but that was stupid because you are...you are...YOU, like so well known with a model boyfriend and I-I couldn't possibly know you could I? I mean, I am nobody so how could you possibly know me? But I felt that way. And I was right because you're my brother and I am so so sorry you were abused and hurt Louis,' she sobbed into his neck. He reached out for Fizzy and hugged them both.

 

'I missed you guys so so much,' Louis told them. 'I'm so sorry all of this happened to us. I tried to get you back sooner but I...I couldn't....you were all so young and mum was....she....'

 

'Shh shh,' Fizzy soothed him. 'Its alright big brother. We'll make up for all the lost time. You have brought our family together and we will make it work. Yes its a shock and a surprise and it will take some getting used to but we will make it. Blood is thicker than water. Always. It was just Lottie and I all this time, now we have three other sisters and two brothers and a mother. This is a miracle Louis. Our mama Louis...is...is she here?' Fizzy asked him hopefully.

 

'Yes,' Louis whispered in their hair. 'Do you want to meet her?' Lottie and Fizzy cried harder into his shirt, clinging to him tighter as if he would disappear any minute.

 

'Yes. Yes,' they both sobbed in unison. Louis pulled back and stroked the length of their long hair tenderly. Louis smiled at them.

 

'You will in a minute. I just need to see to one more sister who seems to be struggling with this,' he told them as he threw a sympathetic look at Daisy who was arguing with a devastated Phoebe. 'Why don't you both go and meet Doris, Ernest, Phoebe and Harry hmm? We all need to catch up but I have to see to Daisy first.' He placed a kiss on their foreheads, got up and walked over to where Daisy and Phoebe were seated. Louis stood beside them and Phoebe looked up at him, her small face pinched with sadness and her eyes wet with tears. Louis felt his heart ache in his chest. He motioned for her to go to her other siblings. She got up and he watched her walk over to them, Lottie and Fizzy immediately embracing her as they cried together. Harry was with them and he too was in tears. He looked so emotionally wrecked! Their eyes met for a brief second and Louis felt a surge of love for him and he couldn't wait until they were wrapped up in each other's arms in the comfort of their bed.

 

Louis sat down beside Daisy in the chair that Phoebe had vacated. Daisy was looking down and he could tell that she was struggling and that she was angry. Her hands were curled into fists and rested on her thighs, her breathing was fast and ragged.

 

'Daisy,' Louis said softly and carefully. 'I can't begin to imagine....'

 

'No you can't!' she snapped at him, cutting him off. Yes, Louis thought, she was his sister alright! Now he was about to find out what it was like for people especially for Harry to deal with him.

 

'I have a family!' she spat at him. 'Why couldn't you just leave us alone? Why did you have to mess everything up? I have parents who love me. I don't know you!' Louis could understand her anger and her fears but her words still hurt.

 

'Daisy, I am not asking you to leave your family. Your life doesn't have to change. We can simply be an addition to your family, an extension. Daisy, you are my sister....'

 

'I don't want to be your sister. I don't want this family!' she hissed at him, never once looking at him. Her voice was quivering and Louis could see that she was crying. Like him, he could see that it was hard for Daisy to open up and make herself vulnerable.

 

'You know,' Louis told her softly, 'when you were a tiny baby, I took care of you. Phoebe loved it when I cuddled her to sleep but you,' Louis chuckled, 'you always fell asleep on your own. You never needed cuddling or a lullaby. I would put you in your crib.....'

 

'Stop!' she whispered, her voice breaking into hearty sobs. 'Please stop it. Stop it. Stop it.' Louis began to tear up again, seeing his sister hurt like this.

 

'Daisy honey, I know this is difficult but I love you. I love you so much and I have been working my whole life towards this moment when we could all be together again, to meet you and hug you and tell you how much you mean to me. I know it is confusing to you but if you don't want me or mum or this family, its alright sweetheart. I won't ever try to take you away from your parents. I just want to know you that's all. Its alright if you want to go back to your adoptive family. I do want you to be a part of our family, look you have three other sisters and another brother who are dying to get to know you. It is difficult for them too. Its difficult for all of us but I do want you to be a part of this family.' Daisy raised her head a looked at him with tears in her eyes.

 

'I'm scared,' she whispered.

 

'Oh honey,' Louis told her. He reached out and hugged her to him. At first she resisted him but then she melted into his embrace and sobbed softly as he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. The others were all looking at them, Harry sobbing quietly. When Daisy looked up, Louis gave her a smile. 'Do you want to meet everyone or do you want me to call my driver so he can escort you back to the hotel?' Daisy wiped her eyes and threw a look at the people standing at the far end of the room then back at Louis.

 

'I would like to meet them,' she said quietly. Louis placed a kiss on her forehead, stood up and took her hand, leading her back to his sisters, brother and partner. There were no need for introductions, they all just fell into a huge group hug. Louis pulled back and looked at all of them as he reached for Harry, taking his hand and pulling him to his side.

 

'I take it you all met my wonderful partner,' Louis told them looking proudly at Harry. He kissed Harry's knuckles. 'None of this would've happened today if he hadn't been my strength and biggest support. I am so happy to finally have you all here with me because the road leading up to this perfect moment has been long and difficult but it was worth it just to see all your beautiful faces and how amazing you have all grown up to be.' Harry wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

 

'You did all of this yourself sweetheart,' Harry told him and Louis gave him a smile.

 

'You two are so cute. Perfect OTP!' Lottie said and everyone giggled. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Is this what sisters do? Pick on their brothers?' Louis winked at Ernest and the boy blushed. Louis knew they needed time to get to know each other but this looked like to be a good start. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'I don't mean to rush you but would you um...would you like to meet your mother? I know she is anxiously waiting to meet you but if you are not ready yet, she will understand.' he told them hopefully. He knew that his mother was probably a bundle of nerves waiting. They all looked to their respective sibling, the one they been adopted with and where the closest to because that was the person closest to them in the room, then they all looked back at Louis and nodded silently. Harry knew that it was his que. He placed a kiss to Louis' temple.

 

'I'll go and get her.' Harry left the room and went back to Louis' office where he found a very anxious Johanna.

 

'Harry,' she breathed in relief. 'Is everything alright? Have you see my babies? How are they? How is Louis?' Harry crouched down before her and took both her hands in his and kissed them.

 

'Relax. Breathe. Its all good. They are amazing,' he told her, his voice full of happiness. Johanna's eyes filled with tears.

 

'My babies,' she whispered. Harry smiled.

 

'Are you ready to meet them?' he asked her and she nodded. 'Then let's go shall we?' Harry stood up, took the wheelchair and wheeled her out of the office, down the corridor and stopped in front of the door.

 

'Are you good?' he asked her and Johanna nodded again as she took in a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Harry pushed open the door and wheeled her inside. Johanna held her breath as seven beautiful faces looked at her. Five beautiful girls and two handsome boys! Her children! She covered her mouth as she began to cry.

 

'Oh my God,' she whispered. Louis was beside her, comforting her as Harry kept both his hands on her shoulders rubbing them gently.

 

'Mum don't cry,' Louis soothed her, placing kisses on her hair. 'They're here mum and they want to meet you.' Johanna cried harder. Lottie was the first to approach her. She bend down, looked up into this beautiful woman's face and hugged her tightly. Johanna stroked her hair.

 

'Charlotte,' she whispered. 'My beautiful girl. My baby.' Charlotte cried into her mother's shoulder. Fizzy was next.

 

'Mama,' she whispered and Johanna cried harder as she hugged her.

 

'You always used to call me mama. Oh my sweet girl.' Johanna reached out to Daisy and Phoebe who both hugged her tightly, Daisy a little wary. Then she turned to her youngest set of twins whom she had never seen, two children she did not name herself.

 

'Doris, Ernest,' she whispered. 'You are both so beautiful. I am so sorry I never mothered you, so very sorry.' Doris and Ernest both in tears hugged her. They were the only two that had never had any mothering from their own mother. They had been adopted and never knew her. Everyone in the room was silently sobbing. When all the hugs were done, everyone sat down around the table. Louis buzzed in Lynn to bring them tea and coffee. Harry sat close to Louis holding his hand and they all began talking, getting to know each other. Everyone relaxed a little and each of the children spoke about their lives with their adoptive families, their studies and jobs. Charlotte looked at Harry.

 

'So Harry are you going to walk for Gucci?' she asked him. Harry started a little.

 

'How um how do you um know?' he asked her a little perplexed because he hadn't agreed to anything just yet. Charlotte laughed and she looked so much like Louis.

 

'Its all over the internet. Well rumors and speculations mostly. Nothing has been confirmed by Gucci yet and since I'm into fashion and make up and run my own blog I keep up. So are you?' Harry looked at Louis, his face flaming hot because all eyes in the room where suddenly on him. Louis kissed his cheek.

 

'Well go on then,' Louis urged him. Harry smiled shyly at Lottie.

 

'Off the record, yeah I am going to walk for them. We should be going over to Italy soon,' Harry told her.

 

'Wow oh my God that must be amazing to go to the actual Gucci HQ and walk for them. You are so lucky. Like my dream job would be to be a celebrity stylist and attend fashion shows.' Harry looked at Louis and nudged him in the ribs. Louis looked at him confused and Harry nudged him again and whispered something into his ear. Louis laughed and looked at Lottie.

 

'What?' she asked him.

 

'Well Harry here was wondering if you would like to accompany us to Italy and maybe be his PR slash stylist. He doesn't have one and sometimes he gets a little bit lost,' Louis told her chuckling at his boyfriend who was blushing hard. Lottie's eyes went wide.

 

'Seriously? I mean you're not kidding me are you?' Harry shook his head.

 

'No we're serious.'

 

'Oh my God yes of course. I would love to,' Lottie said getting up and hugging Harry.

 

'In fact,' Louis said, 'maybe if you are all free and would like to maybe come to Italy with us for a short family vacation, just maybe get away for a while so we can get to know each other, only if you are not busy or anything, we don't want to disrupt your plans or anything, you too mum yeah would you?' Louis said in one go and Harry looked at him a little shocked but with an amused expression.

 

'That must be the longest sentence I have heard you say in one breath!' Everyone in the room started laughing and told Louis that they would check their planners and for him to give them a date when this trip would be happenning.

 

 

Later that night, as Louis made love to Harry, he felt as if his life was finally falling into place and he couldn't be happier. He had a man whom he loved and who loved him back just as much as he did and he had his family back.

 

As he moved in and out of Harry, soft and slowly, taking his time with his beautiful man, Louis felt blessed that he had been given a second chance on life. He climaxed inside Harry, holding his boy tightly as he rode out his orgasm. He he kissed him deeply and passionately.

 

'I love you baby,' Louis whispered. 'I love you so much. Thank you for everything.' Harry was breathing fast and hard, slowly coming down from his own high. He wrapped his legs tighter around Louis, not wanting him to slip out of him just yet.

 

'I love you so much. I am so in love with you and I am very happy that your family is back again. You deserve it Lou, after all that you have been through. Hey hey don't cry sweetheart,' Harry said as he pulled him down and kissed his tears away, capturing them with his lips. 'Baby honey everything is alright. Shh shh you deserve all this. They love you. They accepted you. Look at me. Look at me sweetheart.' Louis looked at Harry through his blurry vision. Harry kissed his face.

 

'It's all alright baby,' Harry told him. 'We are good. We are happy. Please don't cry.' Louis gave him a smile.

 

'I'm overwhelmed Harry. My heart is so full. I have so much love inside I just...I....' he let out a sob. Harry wrapped his arms around him and hugged him to his sweaty chest.

 

'Oh sweetheart that is just beautiful. See how capable of love you are? And you are accepting love too. I am so proud of you my baby. I am so proud to be yours and I swear I will never leave your side Louis.' Louis raised his head and kissed him again, then pulled out of him and cuddled his baby as they fell into peaceful sleep.

 

 

X

 

 

The following morning, Louis woke up with a Harry tangled all around him. Louis smiled lazily and fondly at his boy who looked like a baby sloth with his long arms and legs wrapped around Louis. Louis reached over for his phone and swiped it. It was just gone past nine in the morning. He figured he could afford to go in a little late to work today, after all today called for some celebrating. He sighed happily and content as he remembered that he had all his siblings back. He looked at his phone again and noticed that he had some text messages. He shifted a little as Harry grunted in his sleep. Louis opened his messages.

 

[From Lottie]

I am so happy you came for us. I am glad I have you and mum and my sisters and brothers. Can't wait for family reunions and the trip to Gucci ;) <3 xx

 

Louis smiled and tapped the next message.

 

[From Felicitie]

Thank you for everything Louis. Glad to finally know my real family xxx

 

[From Ernest]

When can I see you again? I'm thrilled to have a brother. And what a brother! Lunch maybe? ;)

 

Louis chuckled and Harry moaned as if protesting in his sleep. Louis tapped on Phoebe's message.

 

[From Phoebe]

Thank you for today. Daisy is struggling Louis. She cried a lot when we returned back to the hotel. She's a little bit overwhelmed. Do you mind if we take some time so I can help her deal? Xxx

 

Louis ran a hand through his hair and decided to message them as soon as he had some coffee. He slowly moved Harry off of him. Harry grumbled in his sleep but turned on his other side and continued sleeping. Louis put on a pair or joggers and a t-shirt, ran a hand through his hair again and left their bedroom. When he went into the kitchen, his mother was having tea in the dining room. He went over to her and kissed her cheek.

 

'Good morning mum,' he told her as he sat in an empty chair beside her.

 

'Sweetheart,' his mum greeted him with a smile. 'How did you sleep?'

 

'Good. Very good,' Louis told her with a smile as Judy entered the dining room.

 

'Good morning Sir,' she told him pleasantly. 'Coffee?'

 

'Please Judy,' Louis replied.

 

'Will I prepare breakfast now or wait till Harry is up?' Judy asked him.

 

Louis looked at his watch. 'Give it another half hour. He should be up soon.' Judy nodded and left the room. Louis looked at his mother who looked happy. 'Are you happy mum?' he asked her as he reached over and took her hand.

 

'Very much Louis. Thank you so much. I can't believe how grown up they are. They are all so beautiful and well educated. You did right by them. I can't wait to see them again.' Louis squeezed her hand.

 

'I got messages from them. Daisy seems to be struggling a bit with it,' he told her a little sadly. His mother sighed.

 

'Well it was to be expected honey. Daisy is a lot like you. She's a stubborn one. Even as a wee tiny tot she had been stubborn and strong. She just needs a little time sweetheart. At least they all took it fairly well. We got more than we had hoped for didn't we? Let's give them all some time. Let them come to us at their own pace. The hardest part is over.'

 

'Yeah,' Louis told her but Johanna could tell that he was worried.

 

'What is it my darling? What's troubling you?' Louis looked at his mother with a troubled expression on his face.

 

'Mum,' he began softly, 'a while ago I did something, something that had horrible consequences and it has to do with Harry and I haven't told him about it.' Johanna's face went serious.

 

'What did you do sweetheart?' she asked him. Louis rubbed his face with both his hands. This problem had been on his mind since he had visited Harry in Holmes Chapel. It had been tormenting him but he had never found the opportune time to tell him and if he did find a good time to broach the subject, he didn't know how to do it.

 

'When we first met, right at the beginning, Harry had told me what his dad had done to him, how he had treated him when he came out and all that he had done to him when his mother had passed away. I was so mad at his father, you know, having such bad experiences with my own. So I kinda um asked somebody to run him out of business. And he took it so bad, he had a stroke. He's in a wheelchair and can't move his left side.' Johanna's hand flew to her mouth.

 

'Oh honey how could you?' Louis rested his back against the chair.

 

'At the time I didn't regret it and after seeing how he treats Harry, a part of me still doesn't regret it and I feel like I did the right thing and it serves him right. He treats Harry like shit and makes him cry.'

 

'Darling you are not judge and jury. You do not take matters into your own hands and hand out punishments!' his mother reasoned with him.

 

'Yeah I know that now mum. The thing is, its weighing me down. I feel like its between me and Harry. We are all about honesty and no secrets between us and I feel like I should tell him but....' Louis paused and looked at his mum. 'I'm scared mum. What if he hates me and leaves me?'

 

'Oh sweetheart Harry wouldn't do that. He will be upset with you that's for sure and he has every good reason to be but he won't leave you. You are two parts of one whole and one cant live without the other. You need to tell him honey. He deserves your honesty. You have to unburden yourself of this and tell him.'

 

'I don't know how to mum. I'm so scared. I don't want to hurt him. I was stupid when I did it. I hardly knew him back then. I mean, I had just met him and I was just a bitter person who hated everything and everyone,' Louis explained. Johanna cupped his face in her hands and gave him a smile.

 

'Then tell him that. Explain to him why you did it. Tell him that you were stupid, though I'm sure he knows it,' Johanna told him with a chuckle. 'But you need to be truthful with him Louis. Harry is an amazing being and I am sure he will understand your intentions. Then accept what punishment he gives you and give him time to deal with it in his own way. Then help his father heal.'

 

'What?' Louis said. 'I'm not....'

 

'Darling, you put that man in a wheelchair. What you did could've have had a much more serious outcome. A stroke can kill a person. Now you take responsability for it and get him back out of it.' Louis frowned.

 

'He's an asshole who hurts his son mum!'

 

'But he's Harry's father and Harry loves him. It's irrelevant what you think. You owe it to that man. Talk to Harry......'

 

'Talk to me about what?' Harry asked in his deep morning voice as he walked into the dining room stretching and yawning. He bent down and kissed Louis lightly on the lips. 'Good morning my love.' Louis smiled into the kiss.

 

'Good morning baby.' Johanna smiled at their cuteness. Harry kissed the top of Johanna's head.

 

'Good morning,' he told her and Johanna squeezed his hand.

 

'Good morning my darling.' Harry sat down next to Louis.

 

'So what did you want to talk to me about?' Harry asked him. Louis looked at Jay and she nodded as she called for Maggie to take her upstairs, knowing that she needed to give them some privacy and hoping that it wouldn't be too bad. Before Maggie arrived into the room, they heard the doorbell. A few minutes later, David entered the room.

 

'Sir Mr. Lynch is here to see you,' he informed him. Louis looked at Harry and his mum a little confused.

 

'Send him in,' Louis told him. Judy came in bringing a tray with tea and coffee on it. While Judy was serving the tea and coffee, Walter entered looking flustered and nervous.

 

'Good morning Walt,' Louis greeted him. 'What brings you here so early?' Walter sat down in a chair next to Harry and took a cup of coffee that Judy handed to him. They all looked at him expectantly.

 

'Louis we have a problem,' he said solemnly.

 

'What is it?' Louis asked him, dread pooling in his stomach. 'Has something happened to my siblings?' Walter looked at Louis, his face a mixture of sadness and grief.

 

'No no, they are fine Louis. Its not them.'

 

'Then what is?' Louis asked him impatiently. 'For fuck's sake Walt!'

 

'Louis!' Johanna scolded him softly. Louis looked at her tenderly.

 

'Sorry mum.' Walter cleared his throat.

 

'Yesterday evening after I left you guys and I went back to my office, I got a phone call from Edmond Martin, you know the lawyer I sent down to Leeds to deliver the paperwork to your father.' Louis froze. He didn't want to hear this. It wasn't good news. From Walters face, he knew that it wasn't good news. He felt hot all of a sudden and cold at the same time. He felt faint and his stomach wanted to come up. Harry was beside him in an instant, holding him. Johanna blanched and gripped the hand rests of her wheelchair till her knuckles where white. This couldn't be happening. This was a happy time!

 

'Please tell me you are here to tell me that he's dead!' Louis told him even though he knew that it wasn't it. 'Please tell me that you are here to tell me that he died!' Walter licked his lips.

 

'If that were the case, trust me I would be here with a marching band and champagne.'

 

'W-what d-does he want?' Louis asked. Walter took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

 

'He said he will sign the divorce papers, even disown his own surname on one condition.' Louis held his breath and squeezed Harry's hand so tightly he could feel his bones crunch. He waited with baited breath for Walter to deliver the condition.

 

'He wants to see you. He wants you to go down there otherwise, there is no deal. I'm sorry Louis. We tried to not deal with him......' But Louis had stopped listening to Walter. He was being sucked back again into his terrible nightmare! Louis did not know what happened after Walter uttered those horrifying words, because he blacked out and let the darkness take him away from the horrors that he had to face once again.

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 34......................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again serving you chapter 33 of ADSOL. I am extremely happy that on Wattpad ADSOL has just surpassed 60k reads and for that i am so very grateful that so many people are enjoying reading my fic. Thanks to everyone who takes time to read it and is patient with me while I write. I don't like to rush my writing so I am extremely blessed that the people who read my fic are patient. A note on this chapter. Please Read : AT PRESENT, LOTTIE IS 24 YEARS OLD, FIZZY IS 23, DAISY AND PHOEBE ARE 20 AND DORIS AND ERNEST ARE 18. WHEN THEY WERE ADOPTED THEY WERE LITTLE : LOTTIE 6 YEARS OLD, FELICITE 5, DAISY AND PHOEBE 2 AND JOHANNA WAS STILL PREGNANT WITH THE TWINS. JUST SO YOU CAN GET A CLEAR PICTURE OF THEM. I will leave you to read the chapter and I hope you will like it. All the love, M.


	34. Confessions and Decisions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is another update. Wattpad is now only one chapter ahead so we are nearly caught up. Would like to point out that updates might be a little later than usual since I still writing (writing chapter 36 at the moment) Thank you to all of you who read my fic, comment or send me messages. I truly appreciate it all and I never thought my humble fic would get so much interest. Thank you.  
> All the love, M.

Confessions and Decisions

 

 

Harry went into the kitchen again where an anguished Johanna looked at him with tears in her eyes.

 

'How is he?' she asked him. Harry ran a hand through his hair.

 

'He won't speak and he won't move. Ever since Walter delivered the news, its like he has retreated inside his head. He has dissociated.' Harry told her sadly. 'I've never seen him like this and I don't know what to do to help him because he is unresponsive.' Johanna cried harder.

 

'It is all my fault. I shouldn't have pressed him to get me that divorce when I knew he was still terrorized of him. He has told me before many times to leave things as they are and not stir anything up but I wouldn't listen. Now look what I've done to him.' Harry couched down beside her wheelchair and took her hand.

 

'Jay its not your fault. None of this is by any means your fault. Things happen that we have no control over. Louis is strong. He has weathered so many harsh things in his life, he will weather this too and I am going to be with him through it all. However, we should be ready that once he comes out of this and he makes a decision, we have to accept it. If he thinks that he is not ready to face him, we can't force him Jay. I know you want a divorce but I won't stand by and watch him do something he is not ready to do. He has to come to that decision on his own at his own time and pace. Jay, I love him and I don't want to lose him. It's hard seeing him like this.' Johanna dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

 

'Yes of course Harry. I will accept whatever decision he makes and I would never dream of forcing him to do anything he is not ready to do.' Harry looked at her, his eyes soft and kind.

 

'Now that he knows that his father wants to see him, I don't think he will want to go through with any of it anymore and I don't blame him. When he told me all that had happened to him, he retreated too. He wouldn't let me in and he was terrified. Literally terrified. I had to call Anthony to help him.' Harry paused. 'Talking of which, I should call him and call Lynn to tell her he won't be in today. I'm not going to Uni either. I won't leave him alone. Not when he's like this.' Johanna cupped his face.

 

'Your love for him is amazing Harry. It keeps him strong. I am so glad he has found you.' Harry gave her a smile, stood up and took out his phone from his pocket. He dialed Lynn and she answered after the first ring.

 

'Good morning Lynn, its Harry...I'm alright thank you...Listen, Louis will not be in today...he's a little under the weather....yeah I think it might be the flu....I will let you know when he's coming back...thank you Lynn...have a good day.' Harry hung up then dialed Anthony. When Anthony picked up, Harry explained the situation to him and asked if he could do a house visit to see to Louis. Anthony agreed to come as soon as possible. Harry hung up and sighed heavily.

 

'Alright, that's all sorted,' he told Johanna as he walked towards the kettle and flipped it on. 'Tea?' he asked her and Johanna nodded. Just then Judy walked in.

 

'How is he?' she asked Harry. Harry shrugged.

 

'He's lost somewhere inside his head and I hate that I can't reach him to pull him back out. It was such a shock for him. Hopefully he will be back to us soon,' Harry told them as he began taking out cups and mugs. 'Judy, would you like a cup of tea?' Judy gave him a smile.

 

'I should be serving you Harry,' she told him. Harry gave her a fond look.

 

'Judy, we serve each other. Tea?'

 

'Yes please darling,' Judy told him with a smile as she sat down beside Johanna. Maggie walked into the kitchen and looked at Johanna.

 

'How is he?' she asked her. Johanna shrugged and commenced to cry again. Maggie put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

 

'Shh shh he will be fine. Sir is very strong.'

 

'Maggie would you like tea or coffee?' Harry asked her. Maggie looked at him with wide eyes. The boss's boyfriend was asking if she wanted tea? She looked at Johanna then at Judy as if asking what she should do. Harry smiled at her.

 

'Maggie, we are all family here. Now, tea or coffee?' Maggie smiled shyly at him and Harry shivered at how much she looked like Mirerva.

 

'Tea please S....Harry,' she said smiling, remembering that Harry had told her to call him Harry. Harry nodded and set about making these women some tea along with one for himself and one for Louis, hoping he would drink it. It was already three hours since Walter had delivered the news and Louis hadn't moved or spoken or acknowledged anyone for the past three hours.

 

When the tea was done, Harry gave them all their cups then excused himself and walked back into the living room, where Louis was still curled upon the couch, under the blanket that Harry had placed on him because he had been shivering, staring into nothing. Harry placed the mugs on the table and sat down next to him and ran the back of his hand down his cheek.

 

'Hey baby,' Harry told him softly. 'I got you tea. Baby please look at me. I know it's been a shock but we can do this together. I'm right here honey. We can talk about it. Just please come back to me sweetheart. I am so lonely without you.' Harry leaned over him and placed a kiss on his temple. 'Please baby. We don't have to do anything. You don't have to go. We can drop it. Just please Louis, I miss you so much.' But Louis remained vacantly staring into nothing. Harry wished he knew what he was thinking or seeing behind those glazed eyes. He picked up his mug and took a sip just as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that it was Lottie calling him.

 

'Hello Lottie,' Harry said, 'is everything alright?'

 

'Yes Harry everything is fine,' Lottie said into the phone. 'I've been calling my brother but he's not picking up,' Lottie explained. Harry bit his bottom lip and rubbed Louis' toes gently.

 

'He's um he's a little bit indisposed at the moment,' Harry told her.

 

'Harry is he alright? Did something happen?' Lottie asked him, her voice urgent and worried. Harry hesitated a little, torn about what he should do. They were his family. Louis and his mum needed support. It didn't take long for him to decide.

 

'Lottie,' Harry spoke quietly, 'I think you better come over. I think your mum might need you and your sister right now.'

 

'We will be right there Harry.' Lottie hung up and Harry squeezed Louis' toes a little harder.

 

'Sweetheart your sisters are coming to visit you and your mum. Please snap out of it. I am here. There is nothing we cannot handle together baby. I will not let you be hurt. You faced this before alone but now you are not alone. I will fight for you when you can't and I will let nothing and nobody hurt you baby. Just come back to me Lou,' Harry pleaded but Louis remained unresponsive, staring with unseeing eyes, locked away in a troubled mind.

 

 

x

 

An hour later, the house was buzzing with people. Anthony had arrived as had Lottie and Fizzy who were in the kitchen comforting their mother after they had learned what had happened to Louis. They had many questions for Johanna about their father and Johanna tried to answer them as delicately as she could, leaving out as many of the horrific details as she could. The girls ended up a crying mess, comforted by Judy and Maggie.

 

Harry was still sitting next to Louis, who according to Anthony was paralyzed by fear. The shock of the news had caused so much fear in Louis, that his brain had shut down to avoid having to deal with it. It was a case of fight or flight and Louis' brain had chosen flight due to the trauma he had suffered. Anthony explained to Johanna, Harry and Louis' sisters, that even though Louis had been getting help to deal with his trauma and was indeed much better, the trauma he had suffered was etched so deep in his brain that the mere mention of his father wanting to see him was enough to trigger a mental shutdown.

 

Anthony sat in an armchair across from where Louis was lying with Harry sat next to him, rubbing his thigh.

 

'Will he get out of it?' Harry asked him hopefully. Anthony kept his gaze on Louis who was simply staring blankly at nothing.

 

'Only he can bring himself out of it. He can hear all that we are saying and only he can push past that barrier of fear that has closed him inside his own mind and is keeping everyone out. We can't reach in unless he wants us to.' Anthony paused and looked at Harry. 'Right now he's protecting himself. In there, nobody can touch him and nobody can hurt him Harry. Its safe in there. Traumatized people do that a lot. They retreat inside their mind and dissociate. The child in him remembers and is terrified. The adult in him is fighting it but the child in him is still traumatized and terrorized of that monster.' Harry continued to rub Louis' thigh gently.

 

'How long will it last?' Harry asked him. Anthony shrugged.

 

'Can go from twenty four hours to days on end. Depends on the persons will. On his fight or flight response. Like I said, Louis has chosen flight. Its natural in these cases but he's strong. He's a fighter and he has you and his family backing him up. He has a good support system so I wouldn't put it past him to bounce back. He's a warrior, a survivor and doesn't stay down long. Give him some time. Let him deal with it the best way he knows how.' Anthony stood up. 'In the meantime, take care of him. If he doesn't take any fluids or food for another twenty four hours, that's when we begin to worry but until then stay calm and be strong. I know its not easy for you Harry but he needs you now more than ever. Call me if anything happens alright. I'm just a phone call away for anything you need.' Anthony placed a hand on Harry's shoulder for reassurance, then walked out of the living room leaving the two of them alone. Harry squeezed Louis' thigh gently.

 

'I know you can hear me darling. Please come back. I'm here sweetheart. I'm not leaving your side for a second. We can fight this together. Please Louis you have to eat or drink something,' Harry pleaded with him but Louis remained staring into nothing.

 

 

X

 

 

Later that evening, Johanna was wheeled into the living room where Louis was still on the couch lost inside his mind and Harry sat beside him reading, one hand on his thigh and the other holding a book.

 

'Harry,' Johanna called softly. Harry raised his head and gave her a tired smile. 'Why don't you go up to bed honey? You've been in here all day. I will sit with him.' Harry shook his head.

 

'I'm not leaving his side. Go to bed. It will be alright. I will sleep in here beside him. I don't want him to wake up and not find me here. He will be disoriented and frightened. I can ground him.' Johanna gave him a sad sympathetic look.

 

'You do so much for him sweetheart,' she told him her voice full of fondness for the boy. Harry smiled at her.

 

'I am sure he would do the same for me. He does a lot for me too. Now go and rest. I will see you in the morning.' Johanna left and Harry looked at Louis who was breathing softly, his eyes now closed. He didn't know if he was sleeping or not. Harry got up and went into the kitchen. He made himself a sandwich and a cup of tea, sat on the stool at the island and ate by himself, missing Louis terribly. As Harry chewed half heartedly on his chicken sandwich, he pondered on how unfair life was with Louis. He had suffered enough in his life so why couldn't he catch a break? Why couldn't he just be happy and live their relationship without something bad happening? Louis was trying so hard and yet every time something had to happen to make him suffer. Didn't he deserve some peace and happiness after all he had been through?

 

When Harry finished his sandwich and tea, he placed his plate and mug in the sink and returned into the living room. Louis was still sleeping. Harry put more wood into the fire to keep the room warm since they were going to be sleeping in here. Then he carefully climbed behind Louis, crawled underneath the blanket and spooned him. It felt weird being big spoon but Harry pulled Louis slowly closer to his chest and wrapped his arm around his waist. He nuzzled the back of his neck and placed a kiss behind his ear.

 

'I got you my baby,' Harry whispered into Louis' neck. 'I will never ever let anything or anyone hurt you. I love you baby.' Harry cuddled in closer and closed his tired eyes.

 

X

 

Harry didn't know how long he had been sleeping but he felt Louis move in his arms. He felt him shift and Harry opened his eyes to find that Louis had turned to face him and was quite awake. Neither of them said anything. Harry laid as still as possible until Louis buried his face in Harry's chest and began to cry softly. Harry pulled him closer and cradled his head in his hand, tangling their legs together. He felt Louis shake against him as he cried.

 

'Its alright baby. Its going to be alright. I'm here. I got you. Yes sweetheart cry it out. You will feel better.' Harry kissed the top of his head then lay still and let Louis cry into him, feeling his body shake and tremble with the force of his crying. After a while, Louis relaxed in Harry's arms and all Harry could only hear were Louis'soft sniffles until eventually there was silence and Louis' even breathing, indicating that he had finally fallen asleep. Harry pulled him even closer, closed his eyes and slept.

 

X

 

Harry was startled awake by a distant sound that he couldn't recognize what it was. He blinked his sleepy eyes into the dark room. The fire had died out, the rain was still falling and Louis was no longer lying beside him. Harry sat up quickly, a wave of dizzyness assaulting his tired mind. He sat still for a few minutes until it passed. He felt disoriented and needed much sleep but right now Louis was more important than him getting more sleep.

 

He got up and padded towards the kitchen because that was where the light was coming from. As he entered the kitchen he was surprised to see Louis brewing coffee in the coffee machine.

 

'Louis,' Harry breathed as he rubbed his tired eyes and yawned. 'You're back.' Louis turned around slowly and looked at Harry a little guiltily.

 

'Sorry I woke you,' he said lowly. Harry walked towards him, trying to stifle another yawn.

 

'How are you?' Harry asked him. Louis looked down away from Harry's beautiful sleepy eyes.

 

'I'm fine,' Louis said quietly. Harry knew that he was far from fine but he needed to let Louis take the lead in this. They had to do this at his own pace and time.

 

'What time is it?' Harry asked. Louis looked at the wall clock.

 

'A little after four in the morning,' he replied.

 

'Lou,' Harry said softly. 'Are you alright?' Louis sighed and turned away from Harry and back to brewing coffee. 'Lou?' Louis shrugged his shoulders.

 

'No Harry. I am not okay,' he said softly. Harry wrapped his arms around his waist from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.

 

'What do you need love?' Louis looked down at the counter, fiddling with the bag of coffee beans. Harry could see that his hands were shaking.

 

'I...I need to get away from here. From everyone. Just for a little while until I figure myself out and figure out what to do next.' Harry let go of him and turned him round to face him but Louis would not meet his eyes. He took the bag of coffee beans from his hands.

 

'Sit,' Harry told him and Louis did as he was told. He pulled out a stool from underneath the island and sat down. They both remained silent as Harry brewed coffee and made a tea for himself. When both beverages had been made, Harry took them to the kitchen island, placed the coffee in front of Louis and sat down opposite him, wrapping his hands around his hot mug to soak up the heat. It was pretty cold in this house. Harry chewed on his bottom lip nervously and looked at Louis who was looking down into his steaming mug.

 

'Do you need to get away from me too?' Harry asked him softly, no judgement in his voice but there was dread mixed with a little fear at the thought that Louis might need time away from him. Louis kept staring into his coffee. 'I mean if you need space I understand. Like if you want to be alone without me its....' Louis raised his head and looked at Harry. Harry held his breath waiting for Louis' response.

 

'Not from you,' Louis whispered. 'I don't need space from you. You are what keeps me together Harry and I won't fare very well without you but I do need to get away from all of this for a little while.' Harry exhaled in relief. He reached across the island and placed his hand over Louis'.

 

'We can do that love. We can get away. Where do you wish to go?' Louis kept looking at Harry, feeling safe and loved in Harry's presence.

 

'I have a place nobody knows about. It's somewhere nobody would dream of looking for me.' Louis chuckled a little. 'Its a place you gave me the idea for and in which I invested. Property is always a good investment. Can we go now Harry? Please?' Harry looked at the wall clock.

 

'Its four thirty Louis. You can't wake Angus....'

 

'I wasn't going to wake Angus up. I...I thought we could maybe take the tube.' Harry's eyes went wide in surprise.

 

'You want to take the tube?' he asked him unable to hide the disbelief in his voice because Louis hated the tube! He even hated Harry going on the damn thing and now he wanted to take the tube?

 

'Yes. I don't want to take the car so I won't be tracked. I want to meld with the general population, away from this life that I know. I just...I just want to be Louis for a while, the one who's not rich and waited on and hounded. I just want to be with you like a normal couple so I can figure out things in peace and quiet.' Harry nodded.

 

'Alright. And where is this place that I inspired you to invest in?' he asked him with a smile. Louis offered Harry a small smile of his own.

 

'Camden Town.' Harry's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

 

'You bought....oh my God you didn't! Are you like kidding me?' Louis smiled again.

 

'I'm not kidding you. I did get us a place just like you suggested, to like get away if needed be. Now, pack a small bag. Just essentials Harry. We won't be out doors too much so we won't need much clothes.' Harry nodded quickly. Had Louis really bought his dream flat in Camden Town?

 

X

 

Half an hour later, they were back down in the kitchen, with two small travel bags. Louis was dressed in Adidas pants and a big Kappa hoodie and Harry couldn't help but fond over how adorable he was, with the sleeves covering his hands. Harry too was decked in a pair of Adidas pants and a Gucci hoodie.

 

Louis left a note for his mother on the kitchen counter, informing her very briefly not to worry about them and that he needed some time alone with Harry to figure things out. He told her that they will be back soon and to please stay at the house until their return. When the note was done, Louis told Harry to turn off his phone and give it to him.

 

'Why?' Harry asked him a little perplexed.

 

'Harry we are not taking our phones with us. I don't want any communication with the outside world. Besides, my phone has its GPS and my security can track me and I don't want to be found until I'm ready. Please.' Harry hesitated.

 

'What if something happens and we need assistance?' Louis rolled his eyes.

 

'Harry we are staying in London not going to a jungle in the middle of nowhere. We will be fine. Please, give me your phone. I'd like to leave now.' Harry nodded and fished out his phone from the pocket of his hoodie and handed it to Louis. Louis put them both on the counter beside his mother's note and a white envelope addressed to Leonard. When they were done, they picked up their bags and stepped outside. It was still dark but at least it had stopped raining. Harry shivered in the cold air. Louis took his hand and together they walked down the long driveway till they reached the gate. Louis unlocked an iron door set into the gate and they walked out into the empty deserted streets of Hampstead. They walked silently towards town, hand in hand. It wasn't a long walk and soon they saw the Hampstead underground station sign lit up in bright white and red. They entered the station and were immediately glad for the warmth that greeted them. They used their Oyster cards to they through the gates then down the escalators to the empty platform below.

 

Soon the train rumbled noisily into the station and they got on, sitting as close to each other as the seats allowed, still holding hands. It was only a short journey to Camden Town with just one train switch. When the train stopped at Camden Town station, Louis and Harry emerged on to the quiet High Street with its beautiful and artistic store fronts that were all still closed since it was only five thirty in the morning.

 

Louis tugged on Harry's hand gently to get his attention. Harry looked at him with a blissful and serene expression on his beautiful face, his cheeks flushed pink from the cold morning air. When he spoke, his breath came out in white puffs.

 

'I love Camden Town,' he breathed, talking so quietly as if he was afraid he'd wake up the whole neighborhood if he raised his voice even just a little bit. Louis smiled at him.

 

'I gathered you did that's why I got us a very small flat here.' He tugged on Harry's arm again and together they crossed the empty road to the other side. They walked up the High Street in the pre-dawn hours of the morning. Louis stopped in front of a narrow black door that was wedged between a gothic looking pub that was painted all black and a tattoo parlor that had a huge green and red dragon on the wall of the second floor. He fished out a set of keys, inserted it into the rusty keyhole and turned it, unlocking the door with no problem. The door opened without a sound.

 

Beyond the door it was dark and Harry couldn't see anything as he peeked past Louis. Louis stepped on the threshold and searched around blindly until his fingers made contact with a light switch. He flipped it on and a bulb sprang to life, illuminating a small entryway in weak yellow light. Louis stepped inside and Harry followed him, closing the door behind him. They stood squashed in the entry way facing a set of steep concrete stairs and red brick walls, leading up into further darkness.

 

They climbed up the stairs, Louis leading the way. When they reached the top of the stairs, Louis stopped and again felt around with his hand until he located another light switch and flipped it on. A warm yellow light bathed a small cozy living room with red brick walls.Louis walked into the room and Harry followed. He looked around the small room. There were two windows with heavy drawn curtains across them and Harry figured that these windows over looked the High Street.Underneath the windowsills there were white radiators. There was an old brown couch which looked a little worn but comfortable nonetheless and two winged armchairs facing a brick fire place. There was a small coffee table and a wall unit that held a vast array of books, vinyls and a turntable which Harry assumed where brought in by Louis. Harry noticed that there was no telly.

 

There were three doors leading off from the living room. One had a colorful beaded curtain which made Harry smile widely and his cheeks to glow. He walked through the curtain, the beads making a soft rattling sound as he parted them and Harry found himself in a small narrow kitchen. All the cupboards where white and dainty. There was a small fridge, a cooker, an oven, a microwave, a small table with two plastic chairs and a sink under the window that over looked the Regent Canal. Harry gasped even though it was too dark to see the view properly but he knew that it was going to be amazing to look out over while he washed their dishes or prepared their food.

 

He walked back out into the living room, Louis watching his movements and reactions and opened the door on the other side which led into a bedroom. The walls here were also red brick and there was hardly any furniture in the room and the few pieces there were that included a small wardrobe, a dresser and an armchair, were old and ratty. Harry could see that the paint had gone in some places to reveal the natural wood underneath the faded white paint. On the wall opposite the window there was a bed made of palettes on the cement floor with a mattress on top, a patchwork quilt thrown on it and a few cushions. There were no curtains on the huge window that over looked the Camden Lock. Harry was in awe and he felt even more overwhelmed when he noticed that on the window sill there were a few small pots with cactus in them! Louis had really through of everything! His man was amazing!

 

Harry walked back out and opened the last door to find a tiny bathroom with black and white tiles, some of which were cracked. There was a claw footed bath and shower in one, a shower curtain pulled to the side, a sink and a toilet. In Harry's eyes this was all too perfect. It was the flat he had always dreamed of and his heart was full of joy and gratitude that Louis always made him happy. He went back into the living room and found Louis standing with his back to the windows waiting for him, looking at him expectantly.

 

'So did I come close to your dream flat in Camden? I insisted on the beaded curtain by the way,' Louis told him, a small smile on his lips. Harry crossed the room in half a dozen strides and was on Louis, hugging him tightly.

 

'You pulled it right out of my dreams and straight delivered in into my reality. God Louis how did you do it? This is perfect so perfect. I love you so much,' Harry whispered into his neck. 'Thank you so so much.' Louis rubbed his back lightly then pulled back from the hug and looked into Harry's face.

 

'I love you too Harry. So much. I'm glad you like it. I went out on a limb when I saw the advert in the newspaper. It was actually for rent but I bought it.' Louis paused and ran a hand down his face. He looked tired. 'Harry, one thing I ask of you. I don't want anyone to know about this place, not even your friends. I bought it through a third party so no one will know it belongs to me. The things you see here, your books and vinyls, I had to work through other people to get them moved here so nobody will know about it.'

 

'Why?' Harry asked him curiously. Louis shrugged.

 

'I just want to keep it that way. Our little own piece of Heaven to get away from Hell,' Louis said quietly. He looked round the small room then focused on Harry again. 'There will be no maids and no cooks. We have to do it all.' Harry gave him a small smile because he understood what Louis wanted. Louis wanted a place to get away from their lives when it got too bad. A place where they could escape to and just be the two of them alone. And Harry couldn't agree with him more.

 

'I don't mind cooking and doing housework. I see now why you didn't want us to bring our phones along. There isn't even a telly here,' Harry told him. Louis nodded.

 

'I don't want any technology in here. I don't want the distractions of ringing phones and social media. This place, it will be the old fashioned way. Books, music, conversation and each other for entertainment. This world is so fast and busy but in here, its like time stood still, like outside doesn't even exist. Being here with you, yeah I see now why you told me we should get a flat in Camden.' Harry smiled happily because it was a very brilliant idea on Louis' part, to keep it simple when things got tough, his need to get away from his hectic life and just hide away in here together with him.

 

'Tea?' Harry asked him a little too eager to use their small kitchen and their small non-electric kettle. Louis nodded and sank heavily and tiredly into the old couch. Harry smiled to himself and went into the kitchen. He filled the small metal kettle with water from the sink and placed it on the burner. He opened a few drawers looking for matches and he managed to find some in a small drawer next to the sink. He lit the burner and placed the kettle on it. He began to explore the contents of the cupboards and fridge and realized that there was hardly anything save tea, sugar, coffee, milk, a few mugs and plates and some cutlery. He made a mental note to go out and find an off license or small supermarket to get necessities. He looked out the window over the sink. The sky was starting to lighten up and the view was beautiful of the Regent Canal, with its bridge crossing the water over to the other side and the still closed cafe across. It was very peaceful here and Harry was slowly falling in love with this tiny apartment. Their bedroom and dressing room at home were bigger than the whole apartment but Harry loved it. It was perfect. Their very own get away!

 

The boiling kettle brought him out of his thoughts. He put teabags in each mug and poured the hot water. He let them soak for a bit then pulled them out and added milk. When he was done, he picked up the two mugs and made his way back into the living room only to find that Louis had fallen asleep with his head thrown back against the back of the couch, his lips slightly parted, eyes closed, his breathing slow and deep. Harry stood there and looked at him for a while and felt his heart go out to Louis. How could life be so cruel to him? It wasn't fair that he had to struggle so much when all he wanted to do was just live his best life, yet life seemed so intent on dragging up his past at every opportunity. His past shouldn't keep coming back to drag him back when he was trying to let go and move on from it but somehow his past wasn't done with him yet!

 

Harry saw him shift in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering. A soft whine escaped Louis' lips. Harry moved and sat down beside him, placing both mugs on the coffee table. Louis was becoming restless in his sleep.

 

'N-no p-please p-please d-dad don't! Stop dad! Let me go!' he whined in his sleep.

 

'Louis. Louis hey,' Harry coaxed him softly to draw him out out of his nightmare gently. Louis' head went from side to side, his eyes still closed, sweat beading on his forehead.

 

'D-dad don't....don't! Don't! Let go. Don't touch me!' Louis cried out. Harry shook him gently.

 

'Louis wake up sweetheart. It's just a dream baby.' Louis' hands shot out and wrapped themselves around Harry's throat squeezing tightly.

 

'Don't touch me!' he screamed. 'Don't ever touch me!' Louis' fingers tightened around his neck and Harry couldn't breathe. He gasped like a fish out of water and tried to pry Louis' fingers off from around his neck but they were tight. He lowered his hands, placed them against Louis' chest and shoved him back hard which snapped Louis out of his nightmare. Louis' grip on Harry's neck loosened at the impact and his eyes flew open. He stared at Harry with wide eyes, now fully awake, his hands dropping from around his neck as Harry rubbed his neck and coughed.

 

'Oh my God Harry did I hurt you? Oh God I'm so sorry,' Louis said, his voice anxious and full of worry.

 

'I'm alright,' Harry said still rubbing his neck. He reached for the tea and took a gulp of the hot liquid to soothe his throat. Louis reached out for him but did not touch him.

 

'Harry I'm sorry,' he said in a pleading voice. 'I...I really didn't mean...'

 

'You were having a nightmare Lou of course you didn't mean to love. It's not your fault. You missed your pills yesterday and you have been overwhelmed and haven't slept at all so its alright yeah,' Harry told him, hoping to soothe him a little. Louis looked down and Harry saw his lower lip tremble. This time it was Harry who reached for him and pulled him into a hug.

 

'Hey hey its quite alright. Don't fret yeah. Its alright honey shh shh.' Louis let Harry hug him because he needed it but it was very far from alright.

 

'I'm a bad person,' he muttered brokenly into Harry's chest.

 

'Louis let's have non of that yeah,' Harry warned him gently. 'You are not a bad person honey, you just missed your pills that's all and you get nightmares so...' Louis pulled away from him but didn't look at Harry.

 

'No Harry. I am truly a bad person and karma is paying me back,' he said quietly. Harry sighed. He needed to get him his pills.

 

'Louis baby....' Louis looked at Harry with sad eyes.

 

'Don't try to make me feel better Harry. I'm a horrid person who has done terrible things to you.' Louis looked down again. Harry took his hand and kissed it.

 

'That's in the past Louis. We have worked through all of that. Now, here baby drink your tea.' Louis did not take the offered mug of tea but instead chewed on his bottom lip. This was it! He had to tell him. Harry had stood by him through everything and he was ready to stand by him should he decide to face his father so he owed him the truth. The guilt of what he had done to Harry's father was weighing down on him along with the burden of the knowledge that he was deceiving Harry. He couldn't keep it from him any longer. Louis raised his head and met Harry's eyes again.

 

'Its...its not all in the past Harry,' he said lowly, keeping his eyes on Harry to see his reaction. Louis felt scared but he had to do it. It might not be the right time to do it but it was time. He had stalled enough and time was going by and the more he put it off the harder it would become to tell him and Louis knew he couldn't look at Harry anymore and keep this secret. Harry furrowed his brows.

 

'What do you mean Lou?' he asked him and Louis did not miss the tremor in his voice. Louis gulped nervously. What if Harry left him? No he wouldn't!

 

Yes take him for granted! Take the love he has for you for granted. You will never change.

 

Louis closed his eyes briefly, trying to shut up his subconscious even though he knew it was right. How many times was he going to hurt this boy just because he knew Harry would never leave him because Harry had told him that he would not and could not live without him?

 

Don't underestimate kind, patient people that love you. They have their limits too.

 

'Louis?' Harry called out softly. 'Louis you're worrying me. What is it honey?' Louis scrunched up his eyes tightly shut because Harry loved him so much and he was being an asshole to him again. Louis reached out a trembling hand and took Harry's.

 

'Harry,' he said softly, 'I did something very bad and I'm sorry that I have kept it from you.' Louis watched Harry swallow and sit up straighter. He knew that he was bracing himself and mentally and emotionally preparing himself for whatever Louis was going to say to him. Louis licked his lips. This is it!

 

'I...I am responsible for your father's stroke,' he told him quietly. Again Harry furrowed his brow in confusion then gave Louis a small nervous smile.

 

'Louis strokes happen. You didn't cause it.' Louis felt as if he was going to start crying because Harry always defended him and found ways to not make him feel guilty for anything even when he was guilty. Louis chewed his bottom lip harder.

 

'Harry I....I was the one who put him out of business. I made someone destroy his business. I made them make up lies about him to put him out.' Louis said in one breath. Harry's eyes went wide.

 

'What?' he whispered. Louis could feel him pulling away.

 

'It was after I met you the first time at Garlands and you told me what he had done to you. I...I didn't know. I...you told me what he did and I....I just acted like I always do out of impulse and anger...I wanted to hurt him....I wanted him to pay for what he had done to you. I'm so sorry.' Harry gulped and kept staring at Louis with wide eyes. Then he got up abruptly and ran a hand through his curls.

 

'You did this right after the first time you met me?' Harry asked him incredulous.

 

'Yeah or shortly after. I...I don't remember exactly when but it was round that time Harry. I just....when you told me I got mad at him.'

 

'So you ruined my father just because you got mad at him?' Harry yelled and Louis flinched. He could never get used to Harry yelling. 'Oh my God Louis how could you? You didn't even know me back then and I sure as hell didn't know you! Even if I had been yours you had no right to do that. Oh my God Louis oh my God!' Harry said hysterically and on the verge of tears.

 

'Harry I didn't know better. He treated you like shit....'

 

'That was not your business Louis!' Harry's voice boomed in the small room. 'He's my father and I love him. You had no right to meddle with his life. What if he had died? Oh my God I can't believe you. I can't believe you.' Harry started to cry, tears rolling down his cheeks.'How could you Louis? Just when I think I know you, you throw something else at me that makes me question who you are.' Louis got up and stood before Harry. His mother had told him to take whatever punishment Harry gave him and he was going to.

 

'I'm me Harry! You know me now! I'm really sorry. Back then I was a different person but you changed me. I'm different now and....'

 

'It doesn't fucking matter. You ruined my father just because you had issues with yours!' Harry spat at him. Louis stared at Harry with big eyes. Tears pooled in their depths and Harry wanted to bite his tongue off because why had he thrown that in his face? His father was nothing like Louis' father and Louis didn't just have issues with his dad. HE had issues with his dad because his dad didn't accept the fact that he was gay! Those were issues but Louis, Louis had been abused and raped and beaten by his father. Louis had been traumatized by his father and here he was throwing it in his face! Harry rubbed his face in frustration.

 

'I'm sorry,' he whispered. Louis shook his head.

 

'Don't be. Its true.'

 

'It isn't Louis!' Harry said. 'I didn't have the right.....'

 

'You do!' Louis interrupted him. 'I ruined your father because I hated what he did to you. Yes, maybe its stems from my issues.....'

 

'Jesus fuck!' Harry yelled. 'It came out wrong alright.' Louis felt vulnerable and he really didn't want Harry to yell at him right now even though he had every right to. He knew he was a fuck up. He knew that well enough and that it was only because of Harry that he had changed. Couldn't Harry see that? That he was the reason that Louis had changed? Louis knew he was mentally and emotionally sick. Because only sick people did these kinds of things didn't they? Only damaged people like him ruined good people like Harry. The tears fell from his eyes and silently rolled down his cheeks as he stood in front of Harry, head bowed, his vulnerability causing him physical pain but this was Harry and he deserved all that he got from him because he was damaged and fucked up and couldn't stop hurting Harry no matter how hard he tried.

 

Harry watched him standing there so subdued and he wanted to comfort him but how could he right now when he was torn and hurting? He needed to clear his head. Harry had to leave. He had to get out of here and away from Louis for a little while until he thought about this and made his mind reason with it, with the fact that Louis had done this to his father. Harry had thought that they were past secrets and unexpected surprises but here they were with another problem that Harry did not know how to deal with. He knew he had to work around it but he didn't know how. He had to clear his head and come to terms with what Louis had done first. He felt a huge mental stress assaulting him, shattering his earlier sense of inner peace and well being. They always took two steps forward and three steps back and Harry didn't know how to deal.

 

Silently he turned away from Louis and grabbed the keys off the coffee table and headed for the door.

 

'Please don't leave,' Louis whisper begged him in a choked voice that pulled and tugged on Harry's heart strings. He closed his eyes against Louis' pleading voice that always made him give in to him but for once, Harry needed to think of himself for a little bit. Being with Louis was an emotional roller coaster. Had been since the day they had first met and Harry had done nothing but emotionally give to Louis and Louis had done nothing but take, take, take, feeding off of Harry's strength and reassurances, knowing only too well that no matter what he did, Harry would never leave him. Harry had given him freely of course but there had to be an end to all of this somewhere. Louis just couldn't keep on springing these things on him.

 

Harry was mentally and emotionally drained. Yes, Harry was strong and he knew that Louis relied on his strength but sometimes, just sometimes Harry needed someone to be strong for him and tell him that it was alright to breakdown a little but that was not a luxury he could afford. Louis was going through so much, what with his father now deciding to put down terms for him, Harry knew well enough that Louis was a mess and that he was trying, but couldn't Louis see that he was trying so much too?

 

'I need some space,' he told Louis coldly and before Louis could utter a reply, Harry hurried down the stairs and out the front door, ignoring Louis' heart wrenching pleas for him to come back and not leave. Harry rushed out into the cold dawn, slamming the door a little too forcefully behind him. This was the second time that he had run away from Louis, only this time there were no threats for him to not comeback if he walked out the door, just soft cries of the man he loved with all his heart.

 

He walked down the still empty street, the first light of dawn lightening everything in a cold gray light. It was another cold day with dark looming clouds. The wind was icy as it blew through Harry's hair and he wished that he had a jacket instead of just a hoodie over his t-shirt. He dug his hands into the front pockets of his hoodie and walked towards the canal, the sound of the water instantly calming him. He could feel the tears pricking his eyes, his nose dripping from the cold and the tears. How could Louis do that to his father? How many people had Louis ruined simply because they had crossed him or did something that he did not agree with? Harry refused to believe that Louis did these kinds of things and tried to reason with himself that the only reason he had done this to his father was because he had cared for him even since the beginning.

 

Stop being so naïve!

 

Harry knew that he was making excuses for him and he had to face the fact that yes, Louis was an influential man and had the means to do these kinds of things but Harry also knew that Louis was a very kind man and if his ruining his father was the only time he had done this, well he had to weigh Louis' actions and maybe hear his reasons. Louis was not a criminal!

 

Don't let him fool you anymore!

 

It was like deja 'vu all over again, finding himself out on the streets of London in the cold dawn and it saddened him to the core that no matter what they did and how many obstacles they over came, something always had to come between them and make things bad. As much as they wanted to start a life together and settle down, they just couldn't. Louis' past always came up to break them down.

 

Harry walked slowly down by the canal, the cobbled ground beneath his feet still wet from the rain. He passed underneath the weeping willow at the foot of the bridge, fat drops of cold rain water dripping on to his head making him shiver. He pulled up the hood of his hoodie and crossed the bridge to the other side where there was a coffee/tea house but it was still closed due to the very early hour. Harry sighed heavily into the silent morning, wishing that he was wrapped up with Louis and a hot mug of tea back at their beautiful flat but fate had other things planned for them. He sat down on the wet ground, his legs dangling into the canal, his feet hovering just above the dark water. He could feel the wetness of the cobble stones beneath him seeing into his sweatpants, making him shiver to the bone but he didn't care. He was more cold on the inside then outside from the elements of the London weather. He stared at his reflection in the water and let his tired mind think.

 

He didn't know for how long he had been sitting there contemplating his relationship with Louis when a noise jarred him out of his troubled thoughts. A weak sun was trying to filter its rays through the gray heavy clouds, shedding a feeble yellowish light that glittered on the surface of the canal water. The sound came again and Harry realized that the coffee/tea house owner was opening the shop for the day's business. He sighed again. Maybe it was time to go back home to Louis and sort this out together. Harry knew that he would be worried sick thinking that he had left him for good this time. Harry chuckled darkly to himself. He was much too in love with Louis to even consider life without him. There was simply no life for him without Louis. Of this Harry was certain.

 

'Excuse me are you alright?' Harry startled at the sudden voice behind him and turned quickly to face a man in his early thirties, with kind eyes and a smile. The man held up both of his hands as if surrendering.

 

'I am so sorry I didn't mean to startle you,' he apologized. 'It's not usual that I come to open up my shop and find somebody sitting here. Are you hurt? Do you need help? You must be frozen in this cold.' Harry got up with a little difficulty because he was stiff from sitting in the cold for too long.

 

'I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to trespass. I-I am really so -so sorry,' Harry said, a little agitated.

 

'Hey hey its alright. I'm Jeff. I'm the owner of this cafe. Are you alright? What's your name?' Jeff asked him kindly. He could see that he was in distress.

 

'I'm Harry,' Harry said quietly. 'I'm alright. I'm not hurt.' He stood there shivering violently. Jeff eyed him.

 

'You're freezing. How long have you been sitting out here?' Harry shrugged.

 

'What time is it?' Harry asked him as his teeth began to chatter. His pants were wet and the material felt freezing against his back side.

 

'Almost eight,' Jeff told him. Harry felt panic rise in him. He had been gone for so long. What would Louis be thinking?

 

'Well um I've been here for ugh like two hours,' Harry stammered. Jeff's eyes went wide.

 

'Two hours in this cold?' he exclaimed. 'Are you trying to catch your death? Come on inside and I'll make you a cuppa. Get you proper warm.' Harry shrugged but said nothing. He had spent a worse night out in the cold and if THAT hadn't killed him, though he had ended up in hospital, then he doubted this would. He had to admit that he had been reckless especially since the doctors had warned him to be careful because of his asthma, but this sudden shock of Louis' admission had left little in Harry's awareness to be cautious when going out in cold weather. Nevertheless, he followed Jeff inside his coffee house and was immediately engulfed in warmth for which Harry was so grateful. The aroma of coffee and baked goods made his stomach rumble and only then did Harry realize that he was hungry and had hardly eaten anything since yesterday save for the chicken sandwich he had had for dinner. Jeff showed him to an armchair that was closest to the fireplace which was just starting to kindle in the hearth.

 

'Here. Sit,' Jeff told him kindly and Harry sat feeling overwhelmed by the man's kindness.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered as he rubbed his frozen hands together and held them out towards the fire.

 

'What can I get you Harry?' Jeff asked him. 'Tea? Coffee? A latte?'

 

'Tea please,' Harry replied, not taking his eyes away from the fire. Jeff nodded and left to get Harry his drink. Once Harry knew he was alone, he looked around at Jeff's cafe and it was really lovely. It was full of comfortable armchairs and small couches, carpets and low coffee tables. It looked like one of those places where one went to unwind or to read or do work on their laptop. It felt very cozy and Harry sank further into the armchair, soaking up the heat from the fire that was now blazing.

 

His mind drifted to Louis and how worried he must be right now but Harry couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. He was upset and hurt and he needed some alone time to gather his thoughts. Louis had to understand that! He was fully aware that Louis was going through so much but wasn't he too? Everything that Louis had been through, Harry had been right there with him, sharing his pains and worries, nightmares and tears, failures and little successes. Sometimes Harry had been the punching bag for his anger and frustrations and even though Louis had hurt him physically once, emotional and mental pains hurt too. Louis had put Harry through his own personal hell but Harry had never retaliated or lashed out at him or made him the punching bag for his anger. No, Harry had forgiven him and stood by him through thick and thin, taken what Louis had dished out and had forgiven him repeatedly but could he forgive him for putting his father out of business and nearly putting him into a grave rendering him parentless? Well, whether Louis understood it or not, this called for alone time and self care and if that was selfish, then so be it.

 

Jeff came back with two hot mugs of steaming tea. He placed one in front of Harry and sat down in the armchair opposite, nursing his own mug.

 

'So Harry, are you new round here? I've never seen you in my cafe before and I would definitely remember someone as handsome as you,' Jeff told him with a grin on his face. Harry felt his cheeks heat up.

 

'I just um moved here with my partner. He's back at our flat,' Harry said, speaking softly but letting Jeff know in the most subtle way that he was a taken man. He felt a little uncomfortable at Jeff's compliment. He could never get used to them unless they came from Louis! Jeff, who praised himself on being perceptive of the human species and could read them like an open book, much to his girlfriend's dismay, didn't miss the way Harry fidgeted, the way he refused to make eye contact with him, the way he was restless or the way he chewed his bottom lip. Jeff took it all in, the way Harry sat hunched in on himself, his shoulders forwards as if he was shielding himself, the way he was wound up tight as if afraid. Jeff had seen this type of behavior before. His girlfriend's sister had displayed the same attributes when she had been in a toxic relationship with her jealous abusive boyfriend! Jeff took a sip of his tea.

 

'You were out very early,' Jeff pointed out trying to keep his voice non accusatory but aiming for friendly conversation. He could never mind his own business or so Glenne had always told him. Harry chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

 

'I just...I couldn't sleep so um I came out for a walk as I didn't um want to wake Louis up,' he said hoping Jeff would not try and make him talk or ask questions. His mother had always told him that he wore his heart out on his sleeve and his emotions on his face. Jeff smiled at him kindly.

 

'Camden is very beautiful. Laid back and relaxed. I'm sure you and...Louis will enjoy it here,' he told him hoping the poor boy would stop being so skittish and nervous. 'Glenne and I....she's my girlfriend, we've lived here for two years now and I wouldn't dream of living anywhere else.' Harry gave him a small smile, internally relieved that Jeff had a girlfriend and wasn't hitting on him or anything.

 

'That's nice,' Harry told him. Jeff gave him another friendly smile. He wanted the boy to relax.

 

'Well, since you're new to the neighborhood let me be the first to wish you a nice welcome to Camden Town.' Harry relaxed a little and gave him one of his dimpled smiles. Jeff was nice and friendly.

 

'Thank you,' Harry told him, taking the first sip of his tea. Jeff eyed him without making it too obvious.

 

'You're welcome and if you ever need a friend, I'm your man. Being a barista, I befriend a lot of people. Much like a barman who ends up listening to drunken problems,' Jeff laughed a little. Harry nodded.

 

'I'll keep it in mind,' he said. 'Um would it be possible to make me a takeaway breakfast? I really should get back. Louis would be worried if he wakes up and I'm not home.' Jeff nodded. He didn't know this boy but something in his gut was telling him that this boy was struggling with something. He knew it was none of his business but it was in his nature to reach out to people. Some people just needed a little kindness and help. Glenne had told him several times to stop trying to save people. She had told him that not everyone he met needed or wanted saving. Jeff wished he could listen to her but what could he do if he was an empath and actually felt people's pain? He couldn't just ignore them and carry on.

 

'Sure thing,' he told Harry as he got up. 'What would you like?' Harry thought for a minute then asked for a large tea, a double espresso with milk and two blueberry muffins. Jeff nodded and while he went to get him his order, Harry contemplated on how to tackle this problem with Louis once he got back. It was difficult but not impossible.

 

Jeff came back and handed him a brown paper bag and two paper cups with lids on in a cup holder. Harry got up and took them from Jeff.

 

'Thank you. How much do I owe you?' Harry asked him. Jeff gave him another smile.

 

'On the house for you today Harry,' Jeff told him and Harry was about to protest but Jeff held up his hand. 'Please.Consider it a welcome to the neighborhood gift and a token of my honest desire to be your friend if you need one alright. Also, I am a firm believer of paying it forward so do something nice for someone who needs it and tell them to pay it forward.' Harry blushed and looked down. Kind people always made him feel overwhelmed and full of love.

 

'Thank you so much,' Harry said quietly.

 

'You are so very welcome Harry. I really hope to see you again. Your receipt is in the bag and I took the liberty of jotting down my phone number just in case you ever need a shoulder or an ear. I have both. Everyone needs a friend outside of their circle. Someone who's partial.' He gave Harry a knowing wink. Harry smiled shyly, nodded and left the coffee shop, heading back to their flat. He walked slowly even though the rain started to drizzle softly. He felt a heavy weight on his chest and he needed it to release it.

 

He arrived at the flat and unlocked the door, wiping his feet on the "Welcome Home" mat behind the door. He closed it and climbed the stairs to find Louis sitting on the couch, eyes wide and red, looking worried.

 

'Harry,' he breathed softly, 'you're back!' Harry could tell that he had been crying. He placed their breakfast on the coffee table and took off his shoes then sat down next to Louis. He took the coffee out of the cup holder and handed it to him. Louis took it but kept his eyes on Harry because why wasn't Harry looking at him or talking to him? Harry opened the bag and pulled out a muffin which he placed on the coffee table in front of Louis. He picked up his tea, removed the lid and took a sip.

 

'Where have you been?' Louis asked him softly.

 

'Down by the canal. I needed to think,' Harry told him quietly. Louis nodded and took a sip of his coffee, sighing in relief as the hot liquid went down his hoarse throat.

 

'Harry,' he said softly. 'I'm so sorry. I feel terrible....'

 

'I know,' Harry cut him off. Harry still did not look at him and it was making Louis edgy.

 

'Are...are you leaving me?' Louis asked him in a pitiful voice. He hated feeling so weak but this was Harry and he had hurt him and he deserved all that Harry did and said to him. Harry turned his head and met Louis'gaze.

 

'How can I leave my home Lou? I live in you. Where would I go if I left you?' Harry asked him in a broken voice and Louis let the tears flow. He placed the cup on the table and tentatively took Harry's hand and kissed it.

 

'I don't deserve you,' he choked out. 'I really don't.' Harry kept his eyes fixed on him.

 

'You hurt me Lou. He's my father. I love him despite how much he hates me and what you did...its not right. If my father had died.....' Harry choked back a sob. Louis sniffed back his own tears.

 

'I know. I know what I did was wrong. Very wrong but at the time it seemed alright. I am a changed man Harry and I see now the error of my ways. I would never do something like that now.'

 

'I know,' Harry told him. 'I forgive you because you didn't know better back then. By no means is it okay what you did. You have to know how wrong and fucked up that is Lou?' Louis nodded.

 

'I know yes and I have been wanting to tell you since I came down to Holmes Chapel and you told me what had happened but things just....and I was scared to tell you but I would've if things didn't get so bad after Doncaster.'

 

'Why did you tell me now? Things are bad now too.' Louis sniffed and took another sip of his coffee to ease his burning throat.

 

'Because you have done so much for me. You have stood by me through thick and thin and before I made any decisions regarding my father, I had to come clean to you because believe me Harry, the guilt has been eating at me and I couldn't handle it anymore so for once I put my shit aside and did the right thing. I am so sorry I hurt you. I am a horrible person.....'

 

'Hey hey don't say that,' Harry was quick to stop him. 'We all make mistakes Lou. Just....your mistakes sometimes are really big and hurt others but I know you and I'm sure you wouldn't do it now.' Louis tightened his grip on Harry's hand.

 

'No Harry. I wouldn't. And I will make it up to your father. I will make amends and do right by him.' Harry looked at him a little confused.

 

'Lou you don't have to....'

 

'Yes I have to,' Louis stopped him. 'I owe that man a life. As much as I dislike him for the way he treats you, I know you love him and I should respect that. I will get him the doctors that treated my mother and healed her. If they could heal my mother they will definitely heal your father and have him walking again. And I will help him with a new business of his choice. I will set him up again. Its the least I can do for the damage I did.' Harry looked at him with tender eyes because how could he not forgive him? He knew it was fucked up at best because he had nearly killed his father but Harry's love for him was bigger than himself.

 

'I told you once that this love I have for you scares me and it scares me now even more than ever because I am certain now that there is nothing in this world you could ever do to me that I won't forgive you but please Louis stop hurting me. That's all I ask of you. I just want to live this love with you without anymore pain. I know we will have arguments and fights and I can deal with that but hurt of this magnitude,' Harry paused and wiped his eyes. 'I can't this much. I'm only human.' Louis let out a choked sob.

 

'I won't I promise you. I love you so much Harry. I will be better and all that you deserve.' Harry nodded.

 

'Louis is there anything else you need to tell me? Any more secrets you are keeping from me? Please tell me now if there are so I can deal with them in one go and not have you springing them on me later,' Harry told him. Louis moved closer to him and hugged him tightly.

 

'There's nothing more baby. I swear to you. There are no more secrets.' Harry nodded into his shoulder and let Louis hold him. He buried his face in his neck.

 

'Have...have you done this sort of thing to anyone else? What you did to my father, have you done it to others?' Harry asked him, his voice muffled. Louis pulled back and looked down at his hands in his lap.

 

'Mostly to my father,' he admitted.

 

'What did you do?' Harry asked him. Louis let out a heavy breath.

 

'I made sure and I will keep making sure he stays inside,' he said. He could see the confusion on Harry's face so he elaborated. 'Every time he tries to get bail, I pay off judges to make sure he stays in there. Or I pay somebody on the inside to frame him so he gets more time.' Louis raised his head and met Harry's eyes. 'Harry, if this makes me a horrid person then so be it. I'm not going to stop. I will not allow him to get bail not as long as I breathe. I will do whatever it takes to keep him in there even if its something against the law. I will not have him out on the street and risk other kids getting hurt at his hands. I don't want him near my family. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it but please don't see me as a bad person for doing this. He doesn't deserve to be outside for what he did to me and my family and I will make sure he will never see the light of day.' Harry remained silent for a beat then he looked at Louis.

 

'You are not a bad person. You are a victim of circumstances which you had no control over. I understand Louis, I really do and I am here for you and rest assured I am not leaving you because you are my life and I love you. I trust what you are telling me, that there are no more secrets is the truth because I trust you and I have complete faith in you. From here on, let's just try and make things better. Are you positively sure there is nothing else you want to tell me?' Louis wiped his eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled.

 

'There's nothing else Harry. I promise you, there is nothing else. This is it.' Harry nodded.

 

'Alright then. Let's have breakfast.' Harry reached for his muffin.

 

'Is that it?' Louis asked him. Harry furrowed his brow at Louis.

 

'What do you mean?'

 

'So you are...you are not...' Louis swallowed thickly and looked at Harry with guarded eyes. 'You are not going to punish me for what I did? You are just going to forgive me?' Harry felt his heart squeeze in his chest. He reached out and cupped Louis' cheek in the palm of his hand.

 

'It is not my place to punish you Lou. Life has punished you enough. I love you and I don't see why I should make your life harder. If I punish you by being mad at you or by giving you the silent treatment, I would be punishing myself also because it would hurt me to be mad at you and not talking to you and being distant from you. You need a lot of understanding and I understand where your need to hurt my father came from. We can only learn from the mistakes we make and move on forward together.' Louis felt overwhelmed as he looked at his perfect beautiful boy through blurry eyes. He flung himself at Harry, narrowly missing spilling his tea. He clung to him for dear life as he carefully placed his tea on the table then wrapped his arms around Louis, pulling him tightly to his chest. Louis buried his face in the crook of his neck.

 

'What have I ever done to deserve you Harry?' he said into his neck, the warmth of his breath all over Harry's skin. Harry hugged him tighter.

 

'We all deserve to be loved Louis. You a little more than others.'

 

'I love you so much,' Louis cried into his neck. 'Please know that and I promise you I will never ever hurt you again. I swear to you Harry. Do you believe me?' Harry rubbed his back and pulled back from the hug. He looked into Louis' eyes.

 

'Louis I never for one second, after all we have been through, thought that you set out intentionally to hurt me. You act on what you know. All the times you hurt me, I know you didn't do it on purpose that is why I always forgive you. It was never intentional.' Louis wiped his eyes again because the tears couldn't stop falling.

 

'You are the most amazing human being that has ever walked this earth and I get to call you mine,' Louis whispered against his lips.

 

'Yours,' Harry whispered back. 'Always.' Louis leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. Harry's fingers fisted Louis' hoodie pulling him closer as he parted his lips for Louis who slipped his tongue into Harry's warm mouth, tasting tea and Harry. Harry moaned softly into the kiss pulling Louis closer until he was lying down on the couch and Louis nestled between his spread legs. Harry kept a tight hold on Louis ,his desire flaring up inside of him, igniting his need for Louis. He bucked his hips up, his semi hard dick brushing against Louis' own. Louis ground down on him and Harry let out a frustrated moan.

 

'Want you,' Harry mumbled into Louis' mouth. 'Want you. Want you.' Louis peppered his face with kisses as he got up on his knees between Harry's legs. He grabbed him by the front of his hoodie, pulling him up into a sitting position.

 

'Up,' he ordered and Harry was quick to raise his arms so Louis pulled off his hoodie and t-shirt in one go. Louis removed his too. He made quick work of removing both their sweatpants and boxers until they were both naked in their warm living room as the morning light filtered in through cracks in the curtains. Louis lowered himself back down on Harry, their now hard dicks brushing together. They both hissed at the contact just as Harry bucked up and Louis rutted down on him, waves of pleasure coursing through the both of them. They picked up a rhythm, grinding hard on each other till they were both so hard and leaking.

 

'Please,' Harry mumbled already looking fucked out and a right mess. 'Please Louis.' Louis was breathing hard into Harry's open mouth as he continued to rut against Harry.

 

'Gonna cum like this,' he panted, 'but first....I....I want to.....' he stopped and pulled off of Harry going down on him. Harry braced himself to feel Louis' hot mouth engulf his painfully hard dick but Louis had other plans. He ignored Harry's leaking dick opting to suck on the inside of his creamy white thighs, nipping and biting at the sensitive skin. Harry threw his head back and whined. Then Louis, without any warning, spread his cheeks, dipped his head and licked a stripe up Harry's crack and Harry nearly screamed at the sensation.

 

'Oh God Louis Louis Louis,' he moaned. 'More please. Please.' Louis loved it when Harry begged so desperately to be fucked. His boy was so sexual, so responsive and he loved that he had such a healthy sexual appetite. Louis teased at his pink hole with his tongue, swirling it on the outside of Harry's most sensitive spot. Louis raised Harry's leg against the back of the couch, spreading him open further so he could get more access. Harry was pushing down to get Louis to put his tongue inside him but Louis continued to lick and tease the outside of his hole, feeling it flutter against his lips. Harry was becoming frantic.

 

'Lou..Louis...p-please...I..I n-need.....' Louis looked up at him from between his spread thighs his tongue still kitten licking his hole. Harry looked a right mess. Without warning, Louis pushed his tongue inside Harry's tight hole, making Harry moan loudly and arch his back off the couch, pushing his hips down on Louis' tongue making Louis go in deeper.

 

'Ohhhhhh Gooood,' Harry groaned, his eyes screwed up tightly shut, his fingers carded into Louis' hair. Louis used his thumbs to spread Harry further and dig his tongue in deeper picking up a pace, tongue fucking Harry as the boy squirmed above him, whining and groaning and mumbling things that only sounded like "God" and "Louis" and "please."

 

After a while, Louis' jaw started to ache and his dick hurt because he needed a release. He pulled his tongue out of Harry, eliciting a whine of protest from his boy who looked utterly fucked out. Louis wiped the spit away from his face with the back of his hand and before Harry could utter another word of protest, Louis pushed two fingers inside Harry's wet and slightly open hole. Harry choked and sputtered at the sudden intrusion, crying out at the pain of being suddenly stretched out. Louis half lay on top of him, plunging his tongue into Harry's mouth, kissing him deeply and making him taste himself as he finger fucked him fast to open him up. Harry was panting into his mouth, not quite kissing back, his hips grinding down desperately on Louis' fingers.

 

'Please Lou...need you inside me...please now...now...now,' Harry begged frantically. Louis kissed his cheeks, his closed eyes, his nose.

 

'Alright baby. I'll just get the lube. Don't want to hurt you,' Louis told him placing kisses all over his face. He got up off Harry quickly and immediately Harry's hand wrapped around his cock whining at the contact.

 

'Hey, no touching yourself. Want you to come from me inside you alright,' Louis told him as he opened the front zipper of his bag and pulled out a new bottle of lube. He quickly lube himself up as he walked back to the couch and lowered himself on Harry, placing his tip at his entrance.

 

'Open your eyes baby, look at me,' Louis told him gently and the moment Harry opened his eyes, Louis sank inside him, his tight heat engulfing him. He watched Harry's eyes roll back in pleasure, his mouth fall open, parted lips as small gasps left his mouth.

 

'So beautiful,' Louis complimented him. 'My beautiful boy.' He pulled back and slid in again making Harry moan in the back of his throat as he locked his legs round Louis' waist, his heels digging hard into Louis' pulling him in deeper.

 

'Harder Lou, faster please,' Harry moaned. Louis obliged and picked up his pace because all he wanted was to please his boy. He pounded into him relentlessly and when he hit Harry's prostate, the sounds Harry made, so delectable, so sweet and filthy at the same time, spurred Louis on, pulling out and ramming back inside his boy, jarring Harry's body up on the couch.

 

'You're so fucking beautiful like this,' Louis panted, keeping his eyes on Harry, on the beautiful expressions of pleasure that were etched on his face. 'I am so in love with you fuck!' Harry was mumbling and digging his short nails into Louis' back urging him on.

 

'I'm....I'm...G-God Louis...I'm c-close.....harder please,' Harry begged and Louis felt in awe of this boy because he was literally splitting him in half and he wanted him harder and deeper. Louis was beginning to tire, his hips snapping carelessly and his lower spine aching from the efforts of pounding into his boy. He could feel Harry's insides clenching and fluttering and he knew he was close, the way he was frantically bucking up his hips to meet Louis' thrusts.

 

'Come for me sweetheart. Let me see you baby come on,' Louis whispered sweetly and he felt Harry still his movements and go still and rigid, his eyes screwed up tightly shut as he bit down on his bottom lip and came all over him self, moaning in the back of his throat. Louis felt him clench down so hard on him it was almost painful but he loved the feeling of Harry so tight around him. He knew Harry would be sensitive but he needed to come so he thrust in deeper and harder chasing his own orgasm. Harry winced as his body went pliant beneath Louis.

 

'Almost there sweetheart,' Louis told him even though Harry didn't complain or tell him to stop. Louis leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips, another thrust and he was coming hard inside Harry, filling him up.

 

'Jesus Christ,' Louis groaned. 'You feel so fucking good, so good,' he told him as he emptied himself then flopped down on Harry's messy chest. Harry let his legs fall open to the sides, no longer having the strength the keep them around Louis. His arms went around Louis' shoulders and he held him, loving the feel of his weight on top of him and his fast racing heart beating against his chest. They remained like that for a while, coming down together.

 

When Louis had some what regained control of his senses, he raised himself on his elbows and looked down into Harry's face. He looked peaceful and angelic, if those were the appropriate words to use to describe his thoroughly fucked out boyfriend. He carded his fingers through his unruly curls and tugged a little, watching Harry smile and lean in to his touch like a kitten being petted. Louis smiled and placed gentle kisses along his jaw.

 

'You were amazing honey,' Louis whispered against his skin. 'Did I hurt you?' Harry smiled again, his eyes still closed and face still blissful.

 

'No. You were pretty amazing yourself. I'm pretty sure I've been fucked into next century,' Harry drawled, his voice tired. Louis chuckled against his jaw.

 

'I'll take that as a compliment but as much as I hate to burst your bubble, we are still in the twenty first century.' Harry giggled.

 

'Your after sex talk is exceptional, so romantic.' Louis nuzzled his neck, running his nose up the colomn of his long pale neck.

 

'I can be romantic,' he pouted as he placed a kiss on his Adam's apple. Harry reveled in the sensations Louis was making him feel.

 

'Hmmm I know you can be,' Harry said as he slowly opened his eyes and focused on Louis. 'I love you Louis Tomlinson. You are my life.' Louis smiled and kissed him softly, no tongue just lips on lips.

 

'And I love you Harry Styles and you too are my life.' They kissed each other again, then Louis ever so gently pulled out of Harry, making him hiss.

 

'I'm sorry,' Louis was quick to apologize. 'Sore?' Harry grinned at him.

 

'The good kind of sore. The kind of sore that will remind me of you inside me.' Louis pecked his lips.

 

'Fancy a hot bath sweetheart? Then we can go out for a cheap pub lunch? What do you say hmm?'

 

'Sounds good,' Harry replied, his eyes closing again. Louis found it adorable how utterly spent Harry became after sex, how pliant he became and how he loved to be looked after. Louis pecked his lips and padded naked into their small bathroom, letting Harry relax for a little while. He filled up their small tub with steaming water. He went to rummage in Harry's bag and smiled when he found his favorite bath oils and bath gels plus a few candles. His boy always came prepared! He chose a sandalwood oil and bubble bath and poured them into the hot water. Instantly the earthy fragrance filled the tiny bathroom with perfumed steam. He lit one of Harry's Diptyque candles which said smelled of Patchouli because he wanted to make his boy comfortable. When the tub was full, Louis placed towels on the closed toilet seat then went into their small bedroom and placed a change of clothes for them spread out on the bed.

 

He walked out into the living room and admired his naked sleeping boyfriend and he hated to wake him up but they needed to get cleaned up. Louis walked over to him, bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'Come on baby up you go. The bath is ready,' Louis coaxed him gently. It was so endearing how sex ruined Harry in the sweetest cutest way. Harry's eyes fluttered open and he struggled to sit up. Louis helped him stand, keeping a sure arm around his waist as he led them into the bathroom. Louis got in first then helped Harry in. Harry settled between his legs, back to Louis' chest and he sighed contented.

 

'Good?' Louis asked him.

 

'Perfect,' Harry replied.

 

They relaxed in the hot water enjoying each other. Louis grabbed a flannel and gently washed Harry, running the soft cloth over his skin. When the water started to turn cold, Louis got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around himself then helped Harry out, wrapping him in a towel. They kissed as they dried each other then walked into the bedroom and got dressed in warm clothes.

 

'Ready to go?' Louis asked him as he took his hand in his.

 

'Yeah,' Harry replied. 'I'm starving. Sex always works me up an appetite.' Louis chuckled.

 

'Sex has good effects on you.' Harry smiled and kissed his cheek.

 

'Only you,' he said softly and Louis basked in the love Harry gave him and showered on him in abundance and without reserve, in the knowledge that this amazing human being was happy to be with him and loved him despite the fact that he was damaged and fucked up but Louis promised himself he would keep on getting better and better for Harry's sake.

 

 

X

 

 

It was the third day of their stay in their tiny flat in Camden and Harry wasn't complaining. On the contrary! These were possibly the best three days of his life. He had to admit that getting away from everything and everyone had been a good idea on Louis' part. They had done nothing but eat, sleep, make love, go to lunch or dinner down the pub excluding the two times that Harry insisted on cooking their meals, have long hot baths together, listen to music and read to each other. Being away from technology was an immense relief, not having the constant interruptions of their phones ringing or pinging with notifications from their social media accounts or emails.

 

As they lay cuddled together after making love, Harry laid his head on Louis' chest, listening to the steady drum of his heart beat, tracing his "It Is What It Is" tattoo with his index finger. It was silent in their small bedroom, save for the rain beating heavily against the window. Candles burned on the windowsill making the room peaceful.

 

'Lou?' Harry called out softly.

 

'Hmm?' Louis replied, his eyes closed, running his hand up and down Harry's bare arm. He felt so peaceful, so relaxed. He had put the world on pause and he didn't want to press the continue button. He could see now why Harry had wanted to live like this. It was enticing and very tempting to just give up everything and live like this.

 

'How long are we staying here?' Harry asked him. Louis shifted a little.

 

'Why? Are you tired of being here?'

 

'No. No, not at all,' Harry was quick to explain. 'Its just....' he paused and looked up at Louis who was staring at the ceiling. 'Its just that there's a decision you have to make and we are here hiding out away from everyone.'

 

'I just need some time,' Louis defended. Harry raised himself on his elbow and looked down at Louis.

 

'Hey, look at me,' he coaxed him gently and Louis complied, turning his gaze to meet Harry's. 'You are stalling. I know you are afraid. I would be too but you know well enough that we can't put our lives on hold for a long time because of this. Sooner or later we have to get back to our lives Lou and we can't have this hanging over us.' Louis sighed heavily.

 

'I know Harry. I'm just.....I'm torn and I'm scared.'

 

'What's making you feel torn sweetheart? Talk to me.' Louis sat up, pulling the sheet over his waist. He rested his back against the pillows and Harry cuddled closer to him, letting him know that he was there.

 

'On one hand I want to get my mum a divorce and take my name from him but I don't want to come face to face with him Harry. I don't know if I'm strong enough to be in the same room with him. I can't hear his voice. I can't see those eyes. It's all still so real. He's the monster in my nightmares and he's real and he wants to see me.' Louis' voice choked up and his hands shook. Harry wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He placed a kiss on top of his head.

 

'Sometimes honey the best way to conquer your demons is to fight them head on. Hiding from them won't help. You might be able to ignore them and evade them for a while but they will still pop up again to haunt you. You need to vanquish them.' Louis tightened his grip round Harry's waist and Harry could feel him tremble all over. 'You know, Harry Potter only won over Voldemort by facing him in the end and he won. He had been scared, terrified even but he had a lot of support and when it came down to it, he faced him and he won and those who supported him all stood by him and fought with him. Even Harry Potter had a difficult childhood but he let those difficulties and hardships and lonely times make him brave. He took his fear and let it make him courageous. Be like Harry Potter Louis. Face your Voldemort and win. You can win this. You will because you are brave and courageous and you have a lot of support from people who love you and will stand by you till the end. You will be victorious too just like Harry.' Louis raised his head and looked at Harry a little awed and a little amused.

 

'Are you for real?' Louis asked him.

 

'Is that rhetorical or hypothetically speaking?' Harry asked him seriously. Louis tried to hold back his laughter but finally erupted in a fit of giggles as he watched Harry look at him perplexed.

 

'You are such a dork,' Louis told him through his laughter. He leaned up and kissed his lips. 'You are my beautiful dork and I am so very much in love with you.' Harry relaxed because for a minute he thought that Louis was mad at him.

 

'I love you too,' Harry told him, kissing his smile. Louis stopped smiling and looked at Harry with a serious expression on his face.

 

'Do you really think I can beat my Voldermort?' Louis asked him hopefully. Harry smiled at him.

 

'As the great Albus Dumbledore said "We must try not to sink beneath our anguish but battle on" and I firmly believe that you must not hide out here, as much as I love this tiny flat and being nestled in here with you, you must battle on Louis. You must confront him, you do what you must do to free yourself. Do not let him keep you oppressed like this, hiding in fear. You are not a coward. You are very brave even though you do not see it and right now, I wish I could give you the ability to see yourself through my own eyes. Only then will you see your courage and bravery which is why I must instill it in you and tell you repeatedly how brave and courageous you are until you believe it. It is my job as your partner to tell you that as many times as possible until you believe it and feel it and let it fill you up until you do this. Do this and free yourself once and for all Louis.' Louis got up on his knees, the sheet falling away from him exposing his nakedness and flung himself into Harry's arms, burying his face into Harry's neck.

 

'Thank you for having so much faith in me. For building me up and giving me courage and making me brave. I don't know what I'd do without you Harry,' Louis whispered into his neck. Harry smiled happily and hugged him back even tighter, relishing in the feeling that Louis needed him and loved him and depended on him.

 

'You will never have to find out Lou because I'm never going to leave you no matter what. We're in this together,' Harry told him.

 

'Together,' Louis agreed.

 

 

X

 

 

Two days later, shortly before noon, Louis and Harry left their flat in Camden and made their way to the tube station, holding hands, walking in silence. During these five days they had spent alone together, they had become even closer if that was even possible but they had.Harry knew perfectly well that Louis was far from healed from all the trauma he had endured but it was an on going process of healing and Harry could offer his support and be there for him but at the end of the day it was all up to Louis to heal and move past his trauma. He had to decide whether he wanted to heal from his trauma or let it continue to fester and deter him from a bright future. He had done immense progress and Harry was very proud of him but he still had along way to go and Harry knew that with patience, love, understanding and continued support, Louis would heal.

 

They arrived at their home in Hampstead and Johanna greeted them with open arms and lots of tears. Louis was happy to see that his siblings where all home.

 

'They came to stay with me for the while you were gone. I hope that's alright,' Johanna explained. Louis looked at all of them.

 

'You stayed with mum while I was gone?' Louis asked them feeling a sense of pride and love for his siblings.

 

'We did. I called them,' Lottie told him a little shyly. 'I hope that was okay?' Louis hugged her tightly.

 

'Of course it is Lottie. You are all welcome in this house. It is your home too and I am glad you are all here.'

 

'She was upset,' Ernest told him. 'We couldn't leave her alone.' Louis placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.

 

'Thank you. God knows I need you guys right now.' His eyes landed on Daisy. 'How are you Dais?' Daisy ran to him and hugged him.

 

'I'm sorry Louis.'

 

'What for sweetheart?' Louis asked her as he ran his hand down the length of her hair. Daisy snuggled further into him.

 

'For the nasty things I said. It was just a shock. I'm sorry.'

 

'Shh shh don't apologize love. We are family. I love you.' Daisy hugged him tighter.

 

'Thank you. For everything.' She pulled back and looked at him. 'I'm here for you and for them and for....' she paused and looked at Johanna with love. 'For mam too.' Louis placed a kiss on her forehead.

 

'I am so blessed to have you all and....' he reached out his hand to Harry which he took, 'and to have this amazing man by my side. Please, sit down. I need to talk to you.' They all sat down, Harry sitting close to Louis. Louis held his hand tightly in both his own.

 

'I am sorry I left like that with no word or explanation but I needed time alone and away from everything for a while. The shock of what Walter told me about....about him....' Louis swallowed thickly and Harry squeezed his hand.

 

'Name your fear by name Louis. Don't be afraid,' Harry urged him and Louis nodded.

 

'About what.... dad wants,' he said, dragging out the word "dad." Harry leaned over and kissed his cheek. 'I have done some hard thinking and I have decided.' He looked at each of his siblings who all looked back at him expectantly but his eyes finally rested on his mother.

 

'I have decided to go and see him. Its the only way to get him out of our lives for good.' There were sighs of relief and tears all around.

 

'My boy,' Johanna said through her tears. 'My brave beautiful boy I am so proud of you.' Louis licked his lips nervously.

 

'However, before I call Walter, there are some things I have to discuss with you just to make sure we are on the same page. I do not want any surprises.' They all nodded at him so he continued. 'He is your father too and as much as I loathe him, I cannot decide for you. You do not know him and I don't want you to form your opinions on him based on my experience with him. Before I do this, I am going to ask you one time and one time only. Do any of you wish to meet him? Do any of you wish to know him or have a relationship with him? Just know, that if you say yes and please do not let me influence you. Feel free to reply how you wish, but just know that if you say yes, my relationship with you will not change in the least. I have loved you since you were little, I love you now and I will continue to love you and be your brother even if you decide you want to know our father.' The room was silent and Louis held his breath as he watched them make their decision. He squeezed Harry's hand really tightly as he waited, hoping inside himself that they wouldn't want to know him because how would he live if any of his siblings were in a close relationship with their father? He didn't want him anywhere near his family. He didn't want him to know his sisters and his brother. He didn't deserve to know them after he had deprived them of their mother and the family life they deserved. He was the reason his siblings had ended up in the system and adopted by other people and scattered all across the country. He deprived them of each other so deep inside him he hoped and hoped that they wouldn't want to know him!

 

Harry placed his free hand on Louis' lower back, rubbing comforting circles because he knew Louis was tense and frightened. Harry wanted Louis to have his family on his side, backing him up but they had discussed this one late night in the comfort of their bed back in Camden, that his siblings deserved to be given the option whether they wanted to know him or not. At first Louis had protested, but Harry, always the voice of reason told him that he couldn't lay down the rules for them and give them no choice but to either follow them or leave. He had reasonably told him that they too had suffered, obviously indifferent ways but it was suffering nonetheless having been taken away from their mother at such tender ages because their father was a monster. Harry had advised him to tread carefully with them and discuss this with them rather than demand it from them and thankfully Louis had listened and agreed.

 

'I don't want to know him,' Lottie said, breaking the silence. 'He's a monster and I don't want to have anything to do with him.' Louis nodded, still holding his breath waiting for the others.

 

'I don't either,' Fizzy agreed with her sister. Louis smiled. His eyes turned to the others. He watched Ernest hold Doris' hand.

 

'He nearly killed us and mum,' Ernest said slowly but clearly. 'We never knew him. Don't even know what he looks like but after all that you told us about what he did to you and mum, we will take your word for it. He broke our family apart. Kept us away from you and each other. Doris and I do not wish to meet him.' Louis' heart felt as if it was going to beat right out of his chest. His eyes landed on Daisy and Phoebe. The last two. They looked at each other and Phoebe nodded at her sister who looked at Louis.

 

'We don't care to know him. We have you and mum and each other and that's all that matters.' Jay started crying. Louis let out the breath he had been holding and fell into Harry's arms who hugged him tightly.

 

'You got them on your side baby,' Harry whispered to him. 'They are on your side. You can do this honey baby. You can.' Louis pulled back and gave him a big smile.

 

'I do believe I can.' He turned to his family. 'Thank you for your support.' He grabbed his phone off the coffee table and dialed Walter's number. He picked up after the second ring.

 

'Walt, I'm ready to meet my father. Set it up as soon as possible.' He hung up and looked at the faces around him, faces of the people he loved most in the world and knew that he was doing this for them too. It was time to leave the past in the past for good.

 

 

WELL HOPE YOU LIKED THAT CHAPTER.......


	35. Father Figure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ IMPORTANT : WARNING: IF TALKS OF RAPE AND ABUSE TRIGGER YOU, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP SOME PARTS. IF CONFRONTATION WITH AN ABUSER TRIGGERS YOU THEN PLEASE SKIP. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! ONE THING I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT IS THE TITLE TO THIS CHAPTER. IT IS IN NO WAY ATTRIBUTED TO LOUIS' DAD. WHEN YOU READ THE LYRICS YOU WILL KNOW. (FATHER FIGURE BY GEORGE MICHAEL)  
> ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE NOW CAUGHT UP TO WATTPAD SO YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT A LITTLE FOR NEXT CHAPTER AS I AM STILL WRITING. I DON'T LIKE TO RUSH MY WRITING OR TAKE SHORT CUTS SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME AS I ALSO HAVE A JOB AND A BUSY LIFE TO JUGGLE BUT I PROMISE YOU I WILL DO MY VERY BEST TO BRING CHAPTER 36 REALLY SOON. THIS CHAPTER MADE PEOPLE ANGRY AND CRY ON WATTPAD SO HAVE TISSUES READY AND A PUNCHING BAG LOL HOPE YOU LIKE IT.  
> ALL THE LOVE, M

Father Figure.

 

 

That's all I wanted  
Something special, someone sacred in your eyes  
For just one moment  
To be bold and naked at your side  
Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me  
Maybe this time is forever, say it can be, whoa  
That's all you wanted  
Somethin' special, someone sacred in your life  
Just for one moment, to be warm and naked at my side  
Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me  
But somethin' tells me together, we'd be happy, whoa baby

 

 

Today was the day, the day Louis had been dreading. He had put if off for yet another week, debating and torn whether he could go through with it or not. But the time had finally come where he could no longer delay the inevitable. He stood in the dressing room in their bedroom, dressed in a pristine black Armani suit, a crisp white shirt, platinum cuff links embossed with tiny diamonds and a silver tie. His hair was quiffed to perfection and he had shaved off his beard, his clean shaven face making him look much younger than he was, still he felt old and tired, weighed down. He stared at himself with dull eyes in the full length mirror.

 

He looked every inch the powerful business man that he was. He looked intimidating and dominant, powerful and demanding of everyone's attention. Louis was feared due to his ruthless reputation. He had no scruples and he was a genius when it came to business negotiations. He was a leader, never a follower. People looked up to him, envied him, hated him and wanted to be him, yet today, standing here in his dressing room, Louis felt none of those things and he pitied those people who wanted to be him! On the outside, Louis was a picture of confidence, leadership and determination but on the inside, it was a whole different story.

 

Inside he was a terrified little boy who was scared out of his mind of the bad man who had done terrible, unspeakable things to him. Inside he was a damaged, scarred, traumatized little boy, the same little boy that years ago had cowered deep underneath his warm blankets trying to hide away from the bad man. The same little boy that had wet the bed from fear each time he had heard his father's army boots stomping up the stairs as he burrowed deeper into his blankets hoping to disappear before big, powerful, strong hands closed around his ankles and dragged from underneath his safe blankets, kicking and screaming and his father has violated him again and again, night after night, leaving him torn, bleeding and aching to his core.

 

Daddy no please! Please daddy it hurts!

 

Louis jumped when he felt a warm hand land on his shoulder gently, his glazed eyes focusing in the mirror to Harry who was standing behind him, offering him a soft kind smile. Louis did not miss the tense worried look on Harry's face. Louis did not miss anything and he noticed everything, especially when it came to Harry.

 

'You look smart,' Harry commented as he squeezed his shoulder a little. Louis kept staring at him through the mirror, screaming on the inside but calm and collected on the outside. Nobody would know or guess that the little boy inside of him was thrashing and screaming, beating his tiny fists against the inside of Louis' sternum, crying and begging, pleading.

 

Please Louis don't! Don't take me back to him. He will hurt me. I'm so scared Louis please don't make me go. Don't make me go back. You know what he will do to me!

 

A single tear rolled down Louis' cheek. Harry turned him round gently to face him and they stood face to face. Louis allowed himself to be moved like a doll.

 

'Hey,' Harry told him as he cupped his cheek and wiped under his eye with his thumb. 'We will get through this. He can't hurt you anymore. He can only hurt you if you give him that power. You and only you have the power within you to stand up to him and take back your life and leave the past where it belongs; in the past! I am so very proud of you. For the long way you have come since we met and for deciding to do this. You are not alone sweetheart. I will be with you through it all. I will not leave you alone, I promise.' Louis stared at Harry with sad eyes but he internally spoke to the little boy that was crying hysterically inside him.

 

Don't be frightened. He's got you. He won't let him hurt you. Trust him. Please don't cry anymore. Harry loves you too. You have hurt and cried for so long, find comfort in him. Let him soothe you. Find strength in him. Help me do this. We can do this. Trust him.

Harry saw the vacant look in Louis' eyes and he shook him gently. 'Don't dissociate Louis! I know you want to so you can escape all of this. I know that it's the easiest solution right now because you want to mentally flee away from all of this but please baby, stay with me.You need to stay here with me!' Louis blinked slowly as if in slow motion, then took in a deep breath, held it and exhaled slowly.

 

'I...I n-need shoes. I-I can't decide which t-to wear,' he said softly. Harry kissed his forehead and gave him a smile.

 

'Sit down my love,' Harry told him as he led him to a plush chair in the middle of the room and helped lower Louis down on to the soft cushion. Louis let Harry move him as he pleased. When he was comfortably seated, Harry went into their shoe closet and surveyed Louis' shoes, tapping his index finger against his lips as he took it upon himself to decide which pair of shoes went with Louis' suit. Shoes were an important part of the ensemble. So Harry let his eyes roam over the rows of elegant shoes for a minute longer, then he reached out and pulled a pair of Versace black Medallian Toe leather Oxfords.

 

Once he had the shoes, Harry walked back to where Louis was seated, staring far away into nothing, a vacant stare in his beautiful blue eyes. Harry sighed heavily. He hated to see Louis like this, so downtrodden and that lifeless look in his eyes that made him shiver to his core. He knew that Louis wanted to dissociate, to retreat back into his own mind and not face this, but Harry could not let him do that and he hated himself for it. He knew that it would be much easier for Louis to dissociate because Louis would forget all of this and he would just hold him in his arms, safe and away from all his troubles but he couldn't let him. He had an important thing to do.

 

Harry got down on his knees in front of Louis and ever so gently rubbed his ankles, small comforting circles into his skin.

 

'Hey,' Harry called out to him softly, not wanting to startle him. 'Baby are you with me?' Louis blinked as if on auto pilot and focused his glazed eyes on Harry. It pained Harry to see how lifeless his eyes were and how trapped Louis looked behind those sad, emotionless eyes. The little boy inside Louis screamed and cried.

 

Help me! Help me don't let me go. Don't let me go to him. Please!

 

Harry cupped his cheek in his warm hand, wishing Louis would tell him what was going on in his mind instead of locking himself away.

 

'I am going to put on your socks okay,' Harry told him in the most gentle voice he could muster. Louis just stared at him dully while the little boy inside thrashed frantically. Louis gave him a small nod so Harry, having been given permission, put on Louis' socks then his shoes, making sure to tie his laces up nicely in a double knot so they won't come undone. When he was done, Harry didn't get up but remained on his knees looking up at Louis who was looking back at him albeit vacantly and that empty stare broke Harry's heart into pieces. Harry placed his palms on Louis' knees, his thumbs tracing comforting circles on his dress pants, hoping his small gesture would calm Louis.

 

'Honey, whenever you're ready we can go but there is no rush. Take all the time you need. Angus and your pilot and crew are on standby for whenever you are ready alright?' Louis kept staring at Harry, an eerie calm over him. He looked like an empty shell, devoid of any emotions. But the child inside him was hysterical.

 

Please don't take me. Don't make me go. Please let me stay here. He will hurt me. I can't see him again, I just can't. Please keep me safe. Don't make me go!

 

Louis wanted to comfort the child within but how could he when he himself was as frightened as much as his inner child? Another silent tear rolled down his cheek and Harry really wanted to take all this away from him and not make him do it. Fuck the divorce! Fuck taking his surname away from him! Nothing mattered if Louis was paying this hard price for it! If he could he would take away all of his pain for him, confront his monster and fight him for Louis but it was all in Louis' hands. He was the sole master of his destiny and his future. He had to defeat his monster and all Harry could do was stand by him, hoping to ease his pain and make it even slightly better for him.

 

Harry wiped his tears away as they silently fell one after the other. Louis made no sound. He just cried silently, heartbreakingly painful, his chest heaving but still no sound came from his parted lips.

 

'Please don't cry,' Harry begged him, his voice cracking. 'It hurts so much to see you like this Louis and it kills me to know that I can't do anything to ease your pain.' Harry's own eyes were brimming with unshed tears. Slowly Louis raised his hand and caressed Harry's cheek, his thumb moving over his cheekbone.

 

'You do ease it,' he said, his voice thick with emotion. 'Without you what I'm about to do would not be possible. You are the force that drives me to do things I never thought I would do. You are the anchor that grounds me when I'm lost or losing myself. Your love sustains me and gives me strength when I'm weak. Without you I am nothing Harry. Never doubt the hold you have over me.' Harry sighed in relief, letting a few tears fall because Louis had spoken to him and his eyes where no longer lifeless and vacant. Harry leaned closer and kissed him softly.

 

'I love you,' Louis whispered against his lips.

 

'And I you,' Harry whispered back reverently. They pulled apart and Louis stood up, held out his hand to Harry which he took and Louis helped him up to his feet. They stood like that for a minute, looking at each other, Harry waiting for Louis to decide how to proceed. Louis chewed his bottom lip, debating within himself. He took Harry's hand and Harry did not miss that his hand was clammy and shaking. Louis gave him a small sad smile.

 

'Let's go but please don't let me go,' Louis told him, his voice wavering, eyes shining still wet from the tears he had let fall. Harry squeezed his hand in reassurance.

 

'Never,' he promised him.

 

That's all I wanted  
But sometimes love can be mistaken  
For a crime  
That's all I wanted  
Just to see my baby's  
Blue eyes shine  
This time I think that my lover  
Understands me  
If we have faith in each other  
Then we can be  
Strong, baby

 

 

X

 

 

 

The flight to Manchester was relatively short. During the twenty minute flight, Louis sat very still and quietly. He never once made eye contact with Harry or spoke to him. The only words he spoke where to the crew members and it was only because it was necessary that he communicated with them. Harry kept his eyes fixed on him even though Louis was oblivious that Harry had all his attention solely on him. He was so lost inside his mind, that nothing around him really mattered.

 

Harry was very attentive of Louis, paying close attention to Louis' every miniscule move and facial expression. He had a constant frown on his face, his eyebrows drawn close together, his lips where pressed together in a tight line, his breathing was fast and shallow as if he was panting and his hands never stopped moving; he was either wringing his fingers, rubbing his palms together or running them up and down his thighs. He was nervous and stressed and afraid.

 

Earlier that week, after Louis had decided that he had wanted to go through with this, Harry had made an appointment with Anthony to talk about Louis meeting with his father. He knew it wasn't an easy thing and if he had to be there for Louis he had to know what he was dealing with and how to deal with it. Anthony had been glad that Harry had taken the initiative to inform himself so he could take better care of Louis but Anthony had also told him that it was not his job to take care of Louis mentally, that that was what he was there for but Harry was adamant about it so Anthony had decided to inform him as to what to expect the best he could so that Harry would not be caught unaware, at least until Anthony could take over and guide Louis.

 

Anthony had told him that this was indeed a very big step for Louis, so big that it could be life altering for him. Anthony had explained that Louis could relapse, that trauma victims didn't naturally go back to meet the person that had traumatized them in the first place, unless it was some kind of Stockholm Syndrome which was not the case here. Louis was not even over his trauma yet so Anthony had warned Harry that this could play out in different and various ways.

 

Harry had asked him what to expect and Anthony, in detail had told him the possibilities in which Louis could react to this situation. He could dissociate due to immense fear and need of escape and it could be for a longer period of time. He could become aggressive and take out his fear in aggressive ways just like he used to deal with his trauma before. Harry shuddered at the thought of aggressive Louis and wondered if he could face that Louis again. Anthony saw his deep frown and assured Harry, that should Louis react this way, he needed to step away from him immediately and call him right away.

 

Anthony had further explained that Louis could sink into depression again, his bipolarity will get the best of him, he will close himself off and doubt himself and blame himself for it all. He will not deal with it outwardly but keep it all inside and let it drag him back to the days in the beginning when the trauma was still fresh. Anthony had advised Harry to be vigilant and not leave him alone as he might be subjected to self harm or attempt suicide which was common in people who had suffered the amount of trauma Louis had. Anthony had told Harry that all that he could offer Louis was support and love and safety but if Louis displayed a mental breakdown or became aggressive, he had to call him right away. Harry had agreed.

 

So now he sat in his seat by the window across from Louis as the jet made its descent into Manchester Airport and wondered what was going on inside Louis' head. He was unpredictable and unstable and Harry was afraid that he would lose Louis to depression or aggression, that his sweet soft Louis would be replaced by the old Louis haunted and tormented, angry and violent. Harry tried to mentally and emotionally prepare himself for every outcome after Louis' encounter with his father but in all honesty, Harry was not ready to lose Louis to depression and dissociating and aggression. He would fight for him. He would fight to keep him in the here and now no matter what.

 

As the plane came to a stop besides the VIP lounge, Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Harry unfastened his seat belt even though the sign was still on and he was beside Louis.

 

'How are you feeling love?' Harry asked him gently as he lowered himself in the leather seat next to him, taking his hand in his own. Louis kept staring out the window.

 

'I'm terrified,' he whispered and Harry wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly. He placed a kiss on his temple.

 

'You can change your mind anytime but if you go through with it Louis just know that I am here for whatever. I will be with you through it all and be with you afterwards, regardless of the out come. I told you sweetheart, I won't leave you for anything. For anything. I love you and nothing, absolutely nothing can take me away from you so please just let this knowledge give you the strength you need. We are in this together. A team remember?' Louis screwed his eyes tightly shut trying to hold himself together, then turned his head slowly to face Harry. Harry could see how sad and scared he was but he was here in his arms and functioning, determined and brave. How could he not see what a warrior he was?

 

'Thank you. I love you so much.' Harry leaned forward and kissed him ever so gently as if afraid that if he kissed him too hard, Louis would break or disintegrate in his arms. Harry pulled back and kissed his nose.

 

'Ready to go Champion?' he told him, instilling more confidence in him. Louis gave him a tired smile.

 

'If one of us is a Champion here, that would be you,' he told him quietly. Harry kissed his nose again.

 

'Stop selling yourself so short. You underestimate your strength. Come on baby, lets go and get this over and done with so we can get back to our lives.' Louis nodded and allowed Harry to unfasten his seat belt and helped him up. They had no luggage with them at all as Louis wanted to be flown back home after this. He didn't want to spend one more minute here if he could help it.

 

They disembarked off the jet and a chauffeured Mercedes was waiting for them. The chauffeur opened the door for them, Louis allowing Harry to go in before him. Once they were settled in the backseat of the car, with the partition rolled up, the driver started the drive to Leeds Prison.

 

 

X

 

 

The prison loomed before them; intimidating and foreboding. They sat in the car as Harry coached Louis through a severe panic attack. He rubbed his back gently.

 

'Breathe love. Take in deep breaths for me, hold and exhale alright. Breathe with me, come on sweetheart,' Harry urged him. Louis tried to breathe as Harry was instructing him to but his lungs felt tight and his throat closed off. His heart was jack rabbiting painfully, beating hard against his ribs. He was sure he was going to have a heart attack! He gripped Harry's hands tightly and gasped as he tried to breath, unable to draw any breath in his lungs.

 

'Louis relax,' Harry told him trying to not let his own panic show in his voice. 'Relax your lungs baby or you won't be able to breath.' Harry released one of his hands and undid Louis' tie a little and opened his neck button, exposing his neck so his throat was not obstructed. Tears fell out of Louis' eyes.

 

'I-I c-can't...I H-Harry....I-I can't b-br-breathe,' Louis panted.

 

'Its alright honey. Its just panic from fear. Listen to my voice alright,' Harry told him as he took one of Louis hands and placed it flat out on his own chest. 'Feel my breathing and feel my beating heart. Concentrate on that, forget everything else and regulate your breathing to my own.' Louis nodded and let Harry place his hand on his chest. His heartbeat was fast but reassuring and grounding. Slowly, Louis began breathing to Harry's breathing and soon they had a rhythm to which they synchronized their breathing.

 

'That's it sweetheart, there you go. Feel better now?' Harry asked him as he took out Louis' handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbed at the sweat that had formed on his forehead and upper lip. Louis nodded glad he was able to breathe again. They sat there for a while until Louis recovered from his panic attack. When he was somewhat back to normal, he looked at Harry, the desperation in his eyes making Harry's heart ache.

 

'Let's go,' he told him in a flat voice. Louis made to open the car door but Harry placed his hand on his forearm, stopping him.

 

'Are you sure you're ready?' Harry asked him making sure that Louis was okay. Louis closed his eyes briefly then opened them and fixed them on Harry.

 

'No I'm not sure,' he replied, his voice barely audible. He sounded tired and defeated. 'I will never be ready for this. In fact, I'm pretty sure I cannot drag myself through those doors but I have to do this Harry so please please can we just go and do this before I change my mind then so go back home?' Harry nodded and placed a kiss in his forehead. He was thankful that Louis was functional even though he was broken.

 

'Of course sweetheart,' Harry agreed. 'Let's go.' Without further hesitation and thought to what was going to happen shortly, Louis opened the car door and stepped out, thankful for the cold February air that sliced through him, making him breathe better.

 

The prison loomed before him, an imposing structure of grey bricks, iron gates, security cameras and guards that kept inside the vile people that hurt others. Louis shivered and it had nothing to do with the wind that was blowing icy cold. Harry placed his hand on Louis' lower back and Louis sighed deeply, feeling instantly comforted and grounded. Harry was his link to safety, his lifeline.

 

Together they walked towards the main entrance of the prison and found themselves in a check in area where a female officer was behind the long counter working on the computer. She stood up and greeted them officially, handing them a clipboard with a visitor's log attached to it and told them to write their full names, the time they checked in and their signature. Once that was out of the way, another officer asked them to please put their belongings in a tray so they could be passed through the security scan check and informed that they could collect their belongings once they were checking out. After that, they were asked to to pass through a metal detector much like the ones at the airport. When they were cleared, another female officer escorted them to a waiting area where Walter was waiting for them.

 

'Louis, Harry,' he greeted them relieved as if he had been thinking that they had changed their mind and where not coming. They both looked at him with somber faces though Harry offered him a tiny smile. Walter looked at Louis.

 

'How are you holding up?' Walter asked him. Louis rubbed his hands together, anxiety and stress radiating off of him in waves.

 

'I barely am,' he whispered and Harry was quick to wrap his arm around his waist and pull him closer.

 

'It will be soon be over Louis and all of this will be behind you once and for all,' Walter promised him. Louis looked to Harry then back to Walter.

 

'I-I n-need the bathroom,' he said as if asking permission from the both of them. Walter pointed to a door at the other side of the room.Louis disentangled himself from Harry's hold on him, excused himself and walked towards the door. No sooner had he walked inside and closed the door behind him, he sighed heavily and let his shoulders sag. This was too much! He felt claustrophobic and on the verge of passing out. This level of fear was crippling him. His heart rammed fast and hard in his chest and he felt as if another panic attack was going to consume him. He ran to one of the stalls, bent over the toilet and threw up, his stomach heaving up it's contents which wasn't really much since he hadn't eaten anything since the day before.

 

He heaved again, bringing up just that morning's coffee and spit. His stomach clenched painfully with every contraction. Louis gasped and tried to breathe through his nose but that only made him heave again, his stomach acids burning up his throat. Tears pooled in his eyes from the pain. He just wanted to go home where it was safe and curl up in bed with Harry under their thick duvet and just hide away from the world but he knew that this was not an option. He could do that once he was done here.

 

When he was sure that nothing else was coming up, he straightened himself and took in a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart then walked over to the sink, opened the tap and splashed cold water on to his flushed face. He looked at himself in the mirror above the sink and stared back at himself through empty eyes. He loathed himself! He loathed how weak he was. He hated himself for being afraid despite being an adult. He wanted to get a grip on himself. He wanted to stop being afraid!

 

'You can do this,' he told his reflection with as much conviction as he could muster. 'You have to do this and you WILL do this! He cannot touch you. He cannot do anything unless you give him the power. You are an adult. Get your shit together and stop fucking around and stalling. Go face him like a man. Its man to man now! Not man and child! You are not a child. You are Louis fucking Tomlinson and you can and will do this!' In the silence of the dingy bathroom inside Leeds Prison, his inner child cowered in a dark corner and wept softly.

 

But it's me that he hurt. Its me that he raped and beat and whored out to his friends. What about me?

 

Louis gripped the edges of the sink tightly, till his fingers hurt and his knuckles protruded white from underneath his taught skin. 'What he did to you, he did to me,' Louis whispered. 'Please be strong with me just this one time. Please help me face him. Be brave with me.' Louis choked back a sob.

 

The door to the bathroom opened slowly and Harry poked his head in. 'Are you alright sweetheart?' he asked Louis but he could see that Louis was very far from alright. Harry walked in, letting the door close softly behind him and engulfed Louis in a tight hug, holding him close to his chest. Louis burrowed into him as if he wished he could climb inside Harry and stay there.

 

'Oh honey,' Harry whispered in his hair as he stroked his back up and down. Louis melted in Harry's warm embrace knowing that he could let his inhibitions down with Harry and that Harry understood him and understood his fear and his pain. He needed comfort and the feeling of home that Harry gave him, the feeling of warmth and safety and care and love. Louis curled his fingers around Harry's blazer and pulled him closer, holding him tightly. Harry squeezed him harder and kissed the side of his head.

 

'You're going to be alright my love. We are going to be alright. You are so brave, so strong baby. I am so very proud of you and if you decide that you want to leave now, I will still be proud of you for even coming this far! You don't know how amazing you are for doing this for your mother and yourself. Once you do this, you will finally close the door on your past for good. I love you so much. You are very loved remember that!'

 

Louis clutched him tighter, inhaling Harry's scent that had become so familiar to him, reminding him of everything that was pure and good and light. It kept him in the now, grounded and sane. Oh Harry was good! So very good! He knew how to build up his courage and make him feel invincible like he could conquer and over come anything. Oh yes, Harry was his strength, his reason, his life line and his safe harbor. Harry was his home and he wouldn't let him down. Of that Louis was certain.

 

Louis pulled back from Harry, feeling a new found courage deep in his marrow. He needed only to think of Harry. HarryHarryHarry! And all the words he said to him, building him up and he would do this!

 

'I'm ready,' he said with conviction, trembling as he was. Harry nodded, took his hand in his and led him back to the waiting room. Louis looked at Walter and he squeezed Harry's hand tightly. Harry squeezed his hand back. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled in a puff.

 

'Take me to him,' he told Walter. Walter nodded and knocked on the door, informing the officer outside that they were ready to proceed. While they waited for the officer to give the order that they were ready to see the inmate, Walter looked at Louis who was looking paler by the minute.

 

'It is in my duty to inform you that he will try to engage you in conversation. He is very verbal and likes to talk. He also likes to entice reactions out of people and not the good ones so do not fall for it. Do not engage in discussion with the inmate. I will be in the room with you at all times. As your legal representative I cannot leave you without legal representation at all times. I will take note of all that he says and does and trust me Louis, I will find ways to get him more jail time if he as so much steps one inch out of line. Stay calm. Let him talk all he wants. He will push you and say things to upset you. From the little I interacted with him he's a real son of a bitch. Do not engage with him. Do you understand?'

 

Louis nodded, keeping his eyes forward, staring at the still closed door, all his instincts telling him to bolt before it was too late. The child inside him whimpered and begged him, pleaded with him to leave this horrible place but Louis stayed rooted to the spot, his hand tightly clutched into Harry's hand. Walter looked at Harry. A wave of sympathy washed over Walter for the boy who was trying to be strong and brave for Louis but who looked about two minutes away from collapsing. It was understandable! He had been through paternal abuse himself and this had to trigger in him unpleasant situations he himself had found himself in with his own father. Still, Walter had to admire him for lending is strength and support to Louis no matter what!

 

'Harry,' Walter told him softly. Something in him demanded that he be soft with the boy. 'That goes for you too. Anything he says to you or to Louis, can be used against him so please just let him talk and ignore him. Do not let him trigger you into engaging with him. We do not want to give him any stepping stones to clamber on and try to get bail. And Harry, if he decides that he doesn't want you in the room, leave without discussion. Do you understand?' Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

 

'But Louis? I won't leave him....'

 

'Harry are you going to cause me problems in there?' Walter asked him, cutting him off mid-sentence. 'Because if you are I will not allow you in there right away. Don't bring your emotions with you in there. That man is ruthless. He is soulless. He will find ways to play on your emotions and use you to his advantage and I cannot have that. He's good at manipulation. If I see you in any way compromising this meeting, I myself will have you removed from the room. Do you understand?'

 

Harry was about to voice his protests to Walter but Louis squeezed his hand and gave him a slight nod. Harry fell silent, swallowing his protests. Louis hadn't even spoken but Harry felt his command and obeyed.

 

'I understand,' he whispered. Walter gave him a smile.

 

'Good. Let's get this show on the road then.'

 

They followed the officer down a wide corridor, the sterile grey walls and white tiles making Louis' insides curl and want to vomit again. At the end of the corridor, the officer opened a metal gate, that made a squeaking sound as it was opened. Louis cringed inwardly. He showed them into a large room with another cell door on the other side. He opened it and ushered them inside. They found themselves in what looked like an interrogation room. It was empty save for a table that had a metal bar in the middle of it served to cuff inmates to it and a few metal chairs. The officers told them to wait there while they brought the inmate to them.

 

Louis felt as if his heart was going to give out any minute from the terror he was feeling. If he were to be honest with himself, he would rather prefer to drop down and die on the spot than be face to face with his father but fate had a different road for him and he had no choice but to walk it.

 

Walter sat down and opened his briefcase, pulling out a few files and flipping through them to make sure that he had everything he needed and that everything was legally in order. Louis paced the room nervously, feeling as if the walls where closing in on him, suffocating him, crushing him.

 

'Hey,' Harry told him softly, stopping him from pacing. Louis really needed to stop this habit he had picked up of pacing when nervous! Harry pulled him into a hug and Louis let him. 'Don't lose your resolve. We're almost there. Ten minutes tops, a few signed papers and we're out of here. Just keep in mind that in fifteen minutes we will be out of here and on our way home and all this will be behind us.'

 

Louis let Harry's words sink in, let them give him the last burst of courage that he needed before facing his father after eighteen years. But still, nothing could stop the fear clawing at him, the nausea threatening to bring his empty stomach up again or the feeling of his bladder promising to give up on him. He closed his eyes tightly shut, willing his body to calm down. He felt dizzy, suffocating. He could feel Harry's hands over his body, soothing him, relaxing him, his lips near his ear whispering words of encouragement and love to him but he couldn't make out the words because all he could hear was a ringing in his brain, drowning out everything else. He was being pulled under, he was going to pass out again and be pulled down into the terrifying darkness where his father awaited. But then he was surfacing, warm lips where pulling him up to safety and he could breathe. He opened eyes and Harry was kissing him ever so softly as if he was breathing the life back into him. Louis blinked and gently moved his lips to kiss Harry back. His savior!

 

'Hi,' Harry told him smiling, as he pulled back to look into Louis' beautiful eyes that were sad and guarded. 'Thought I'd lost you for a minute there.' Louis sighed.When and how had he gotten so lucky to have this beautiful boy by his side? Harry was so so good at saving him, at bringing him back from the precipice. Deep down, he wished that Harry would let him fall into oblivion because only then could he escape the horror that was his past from creeping up on him but Louis knew that Harry loved him too much to let him fall and he found comfort in that safety. He offered Harry a small smile which was all he could offer given the circumstances.

 

'Sorry,' he apologized timidly. Harry was being so attentive of him and caring and here he was,wanting to run away from it all. Harry placed a small kiss on his forehead.

 

'Don't apologize baby,' Harry told him kindly. Harry looked at Walter. 'Can we have a glass of water brought to him please?' Walter nodded and alerted the guard.

 

Harry sat Louis down in the middle chair and he sat on his left, seeing that Walter had already occupied the chair on Louis' right side. Louis looked down, his shoulders hunched as if he was trying to make himself small. He was shaking uncontrollably. Harry took both of his hands in his and rubbed them gently hoping it will help ease him a little.

 

'You're doing fine sweetheart,' Harry murmured quietly to him. 'It will all be over soon. I'm proud of you.' Harry repeated the words to him like a mantra as he placed kisses on his temple and cheekbones. In all honesty, he himself needed to believe that everything was going to be alright and that after this they would return home, back to their lives and forget all about this and that everything would go back to normal but Harry was scared. He didn't know what the outcome of this would be. Anthony had presented him with various outcomes and he wasn't ready for any of them. He wasn't ready to lose Louis to silence or to aggression or to depression. They couldn't take him away from him! He had to fight for Louis because right now, Louis couldn't fight for himself! Walter came back and placed a glass of water in front of Louis but he didn't drink.

 

The sound of the cell door opening, loud and grinding metal, made Louis jump violently and Harry tightened his grip on his hands to keep him steady. Louis did not raise his head as the door was swung open and footsteps where heard shuffling into the room. He couldn't bring himself to look up. He couldn't look at him! He knew that if he looked at him, he would break and collapse.

 

A guard walked in followed by a man in a suit carrying a briefcase who Harry assumed was the lawyer. Then another guard walked in accompanying a handcuffed man, dressed in a white t-shirt and grey pants, the standard prison uniform. Harry's eyes took in the man, this beast of a monster that had ruined Louis.

 

He was tall and slightly well built, dark hair and dark eyes, chiseled cheekbones and thin lips. To Harry's horror, he realized that Louis looked a lot like him. Robert Tomlinson had an evil disgusting smirk on his face as his eyes where fixed hungrily on Louis. Harry felt his stomach lurch and he wanted to throw up seeing this father look at his son that way! How could a father look like that at his own son?

 

The scraping of chairs on the tiles made Louis jump again. He was trembling so hard that Harry was almost shaking with him. Harry kept his eyes fixed on Robert Tomlinson and his hand tightly holding Louis'. Robert did not see Harry look at him because he was still looking at Louis with that hungry disgusting look on his face that made Harry sick to his stomach. Harry tried not to relieve what Louis had told him that this man had done to him, but it was hard not to with him sitting across the table from him and seeing that look on his face that he had probably looked at tiny Louis with. It was hard not to imagine this man doing all those vile things to Louis! Harry was not a violent person but right now he wanted to jump over the table and beat the man to death with his bare fists!

 

'So good to see you again my beautiful boy,' Robert's drawled, voice slow and soft like honey as he licked his bottom lip. 'Its been such along time.' Harry gagged in his mouth. Louis shuddered as he felt that voice scrape inside him like chalk on a blackboard. Every fiber in his body was telling him to flee, run and hide, curl up in a corner and pray that the monster will not see him but he was rooted to the chair from immense terror, all the memories of what had been done to him coming back to him like a tidal wave. The little boy inside of him cried and thrashed and begged but Louis remained seated, crippled by his fear of this man.

 

'Aren't you going to cuff him to the table?' Walter asked the guard. It was Robert's lawyer who replied.

 

'There is no need. My client is not dangerous. He has learned to control himself.' Walter looked from the lawyer to Robert. This was going to take no more than five minutes and there were four functional people in the room so he wasn't going to try anything.

 

'Fine. Let's cut to the chase then shall we?' Walter said as he slid the files along the metal table towards Robert's lawyer. 'This is not asocial call so if you can get your client to sign the papers, we will be on our merry way. My client has kept up the end of his bargain. He is here as you can see so I am expecting that your client will keep his.' Robert's lawyer took the files and read through them, while Robert kept his eyes focused on Louis.

 

When the lawyer was satisfied with the contents of the files, he placed them in front of Robert. 'You can sign them. Everything is in order.' Robert did not acknowledge his lawyer because he was lost looking at Louis. A smile tugged up the corners of his mouth as he tusked a few times.

 

'I haven't seen my beautiful boy in what....' he pretended to bethinking. 'Eighteen years is it son? Not once have you visited your dear daddy. Bad boys are punished Louis,' he drawled, a smirk on his face. Louis did not speak. He was frozen. Too much was going through him. His father was sat right across from him and he was talking to him, talking about punishment and Louis knew all too well what his punishments entailed. His vision swam in and out of focus and the only thing that was keeping him in the here and now was Harry's hand that he was clinging to so tightly he could feel his hand bones crunch in his grip.

 

'Enough,' Walter interjected. 'Sign the papers.' This bastard was making Walter's own skin crawl. He couldn't imagine what he was doing to Louis and Walter didn't want him to suffer any more than it was deemed necessary.

 

'I want some alone time with my son,' he drawled out lazily and ever so relaxed, an amused look on his face. 'We have so much catching up to do don't we son?' Louis tightened his hold on Harry's hand.

 

Please don't leave me alone with him! Please don't leave me alone with him! Please. Please Please.

 

His inner child screamed at him frantically and Louis hoped that Harry would not leave him. He couldn't even breathe properly.

 

'That was not the deal,' Walter said angrily. 'You cannot negotiate the deal you made.' Robert shrugged, that sick twisted smile still on his face.

 

'Then no deal at all. I have nothing to lose. Deal falls through, I keep my surname and remain married but my beautiful boy here, has a lot to lose don't you Louis?' He rested his back against the metal chair and put his handcuffed hands on the table, the metal clanging loudly against the table top, making Louis jump again. Many times Louis had heard his own handcuffs clang against his tiny metal bed as he had lay face down handcuffed to his bed and every time he pulled at them to try and free himself they clanged! His body trembled at the memory. Harry placed his freehand around Louis' shoulder, holding him, protecting him from this animal. He wanted to get up and place himself between Louis and his father, cutting off his line of vision and shield him with his body from this sick bastard.

 

'Councellor I suggest you advise your client to cut this chit chat and sign the papers as agreed,' Walter said addressing Robert's lawyer.

 

'Or what?' Robert challenged, his voice provoking. He knew there wasn't much that they could do. They wanted something from him so he knew that he had something to bargain. He had leverage here. He had this over Louis and he was going to milk it for all that he could. Walter leaned over the table, his face closer to Robert's.

 

'Sign the papers you piece of shit!' Walter spat at him and Robert laughed out loud.

 

'That is verbal harassment towards my client,' the lawyer interjected, defending Robert.

 

'Get your client to sign the fucking papers like we agreed,' Walter growled at the lawyer. 'My client had kept his end of the deal so get this poor excuse of a human being to sign them so we can get the fuck out of here.' Robert laughed again. He could see the desperation radiating off of Walter.

 

'Ten minutes alone with my beautiful boy or no deal. Poof!' he joked, as if this was nothing while Louis sat in the chair hurting and afraid. Before Harry knew it, he spoke.

 

'That's never going to happen you sick bastard,' Harry threw at him, the words that had been bouncing around in his head from the moment he had laid eyes on him firing like bullets from his mouth. It was then that Robert's eyes shifted from Louis and landed their cold gaze on Harry. The evil glint in his eyes and cruel smirk on his lips made Harry internally shiver but there was no way that this man was going to scare him into submission.

 

'Well well and who is this beautiful laddie here then?' Robert drawled licking his bottom lip seductively. Harry wanted to puke his innards out and he could not fathom for the life of him how Louis had survived the abuse from this man. The way his eyes fucked you without him actually touching you was disgusting enough. To have his hands on you, have him hold you down and rape you, Harry knew he would have never survived!

 

'He is none of your concern,' Walter quickly said, giving Harry a hard look that screamed "shut the fuck up!" Robert grinned maniacally at Harry.

 

'Are you fucking my beautiful boy?' Robert asked Harry and Harry did not miss out on the threat and the hint of possessiveness in his voice. Harry opened his mouth to reply but Walter beat him to it.

 

'Councellor I suggest you get your client in line unless you want us to file for violation of conduct towards my clients.' Robert laughed out loud as he looked from Harry to Louis then back to Harry.

 

'So you are fucking my beautiful baby boy!' he exclaimed like a maniac, still laughing shrilly. He leaned on his elbows, getting into Harry's face. 'Tell me, is he still silent while you fuck him? Baby blue eyes here likes it hard and rough doesn't he? Likes to be held down and tied up doesn't he?'

 

'You animal!' Harry growled at him.

 

'Right Harry you're out of here,' Walter said. 'Guard!'

 

'Harry,' Robert drawled out, tasting Harry's name on his tongue. 'That's such a beautiful name. Tell me Harry, does my son satisfy you like I thought him how to satisfy men? My friends loved my blue eyed baby boy. Such a good boy to them. They always left highly satisfied and twenty pounds shorter,' Robert continued to tell Harry as the guard came in to escort Harry out. Louis whimpered and held on tighter to Harry's hand.

 

Please don't leave me! Don't leave me here with him. You promised. Please. Please.

 

The guard grabbed Harry by the upper arm and hauled him from the chair, his fingers digging into Harry's bicep making him wince. Harry didn't let Louis' had go.

 

'I'm not leaving him!' Harry protested, holding Louis' hand tighter. Robert rested back against the chair highly amused, watching as Harry struggled with the guard's hold on him. Walter got up and gently pushed Harry back away from Louis but still not breaking their hands apart.

 

'Harry!' Walter warned. 'Calm down. You're not helping.'

 

'That animal should be put down!' Harry yelled over Walter's shoulder looking at Louis still sitting there as the guard pulled him back a little harshly and Louis' hand slipped out of his grip. He was hauled out of the room.

 

'Louis I'll be here baby. I'm not leaving you,' Harry yelled, trying to see past the guard.

 

'Harry, calm down,' Walter told him again. Harry had tears in his eyes.

 

'Don't leave him alone Walter please. Don't leave him alone with that son of a bitch.'

 

'I'll take care of him Harry. Now go!' The last thing Harry heard before he was hauled away was Robert laughing out loud as the cell door was banged shut behind him. Walter rubbed his forehead in frustration and worry. He sat back down next to Louis and looked at Robert who was smiling.

 

'Aww what a sweet boy protecting his wee little pet from the big bad wolf. I am so endeared,' Robert mocked. Walter banged his hand down on the table, making Louis shrink away from him.

 

'You deliberately provoked my client and I can file for complaint. Now sign the damn papers so we can leave.' Robert pursed his lips.

 

'As I see it, your client verbally abused me didn't he Alfred?' Robert asked his lawyer. Albert nodded in affirmation. 'So I demand my ten minutes with my boy or no deal,' he purred. A catastrophe was going on inside Louis. They had taken Harry away because he had stood up to his father, protecting him. They had taken his safety away! Now he felt as if he was lost at sea with no anchor, bobbing on the rough waves that were trying to pull him under. Harry had stood up to his father! For him! He couldn't let him down. He couldn't leave this room without the documents signed! If he gave in and left like a coward, his father would win once again. Louis raised his head slowly and looked at Walter.

 

'I'll do it,' he said softly, his voice barely audible.

 

'Are you insane?' Walter whisper growled at him. 'I'm not leaving you alone with him. That was not the deal Louis.' Louis swallowed hard.

 

'I'm not leaving without my signed documents,' Louis protested in a weak voice.

 

'Louis you don't have to.....'

 

'Yes,I have to,' he interrupted him.

 

'Good boy,' Robert told him. Walter got up, pushing the chair back roughly.

 

'You have ten minutes. Not one second longer,' he growled at Robert as he and the councellor stepped outside, leaving them alone with just a guard in the room. The room was uncomfortably silent. Louis lowered his eyes and looked at the table top, not wanting to hold unnecessary eye contact with the man. He could hear his own heart beating in his ears so loud it was deafening. He was comforted by the fact that an officer was still with them in the room. His father wouldn't try anything with a police officer in the room. He could feel his father's eyes on him, touching him, caressing him, undressing him, fucking him and Louis felt sick and dirty and disgusting like he used to feel all those years ago in that tiny bedroom back in Doncaster.

 

The guard moved away from the wall where he had been standing sentry and approached their table. Louis sighed in relief as he waited for the guard to handcuff his father's already handcuffed hands to the bar in the middle of the table. The guard looked down at Robert.

 

'You have ten minutes like we agreed Bob. I'll be just right outside the door so behave or I'll cut your ten minutes short. Understood?' the guard said harshly, grinning at Robert. Robert grinned back at him and Louis picked up on the camaraderie between them!

 

'Aye aye Captain,' Robert mocked, mimicking the Spongebob tune that Louis remembered from his disturbed childhood when his father had fucked him while they watched Spongebob and sang the tune to him. Louis wanted to claw himself out of his body because as he watched the guard walk out of the room, Louis realized to his horror that the guard had taken a bribe from his father to walk away for a few minutes and leave him alone with his son! Uncuffed to the table! The officer was breaking the rules leaving a visitor unattended with an inmate. And Louis' anxiety skyrocketed when he realized that he was alone with his father!

 

Louis' eyes trailed the guard as he leisurely walked out the room, whistling softly and took up post beside the open cell door, not realizing what he had done by leaving Louis alone with his abuser and rapist! But then again maybe he did and didn't give a fuck because what did he care? All that mattered what was whatever he had gotten out of this deal for himself! Still at least he wasn't too far away and Louis hoped in his heart that if his father tried anything the guard would stop him, because he would not allow Robert to hurt him would he? He was an officer of the law and Robert was under his supervision so if he hurt Louis, he would get into trouble too wouldn't he? Louis held onto that hope, comfort and safety as he refrained to look at his father.

 

'Look at me boy,' Robert ordered, his voice like steel causing Louis to bite down hard on his lip to stop himself from letting out a frightened whimper. With great difficulty, he raised his eyes and looked at his father, those cold dark eyes crinkling at the sides as he grinned at Louis.

 

'There's my beautiful boy,' he breathed almost reverently and Louis tasted bile in his mouth. He swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth and looked away. He couldn't stand the look in his father's eyes that was raping him all over again.

 

'Did I tell you you could look away?' his father barked in that stone cold voice of his that still held the authoritaive timber to it that Louis succumbed to. Louis quickly shook his head but kept his eyes down.

 

'I want to hear you,' Robert taunted him, enjoying the distress Louis was displaying. 'I haven't heard your voice since you were a tiny child begging me to stop fucking you.'

 

'No,' Louis whispered barely audible, the tears pricking his eyes.

 

'Now hat?' Robert encouraged him. Louis swallowed thickly, the tears threatening to fall. But he didn't want to cry in front of his father. He had done that a lot of times.

 

'No....dad,' Louis dragged out painfully in a broken voice as he obediently looked at his father and saw the victorious smirk on his face, the one that he always got each time after he had fucked Louis bloody.

 

'That's much better my boy. I am so proud of you,' Robert praised just like he always had done after he had hurt Louis many years ago. 'You were always a very good boy. My good boy. You always did what you were told...'

 

'Please,' Louis whispered.

 

'Please what?' Robert taunted him and Louis knew that his father was getting off on this. He probably had a boner like he always got when Louis begged and said please after please after please. He was not going to indulge him though and give him the satisfaction of breaking him again! If only Harry was here! Harry! Louis' heart ached for Harry and the safety of his arms. He cleared his dry throat.

 

'Please sign the papers,' Louis said in a strained voice. Robert chuckled, highly entertained by Louis' discomfort and fear. They held eye contact and Robert smiled.

 

'You were always beautiful as a child and you have become a gorgeous adult. Its such a thrill to see that I still have such a hold on you. Hmm tastes like fine aged wine,' Robert gloated making Louis' skin crawl as if ants where all over him. Louis curled his fingers into fists as they rested on his lap underneath the table. He wanted to hit him so bad, beat him up for all that he had put him through, all the pain he had endured at his hands, a trauma so great that he was still suffering for it in adulthood. Robert licked his lips seductively as let his eyes roam over Louis hungrily and lustfully. 'What I wouldn't give to have you tied up again.'

 

'Please,' Louis said. He wanted his father to shut up, to not say those disgusting things to him. 'Please just....sign the papers and let me go,' Louis whispered as he took Walter's fountain pen that was beside the discarded files. Louis realized his mistake a second too late. Robert reached out for the pen but instead he grabbed Louis' wrist in a tight grip, so tight that Louis cried out in pain. Robert pulled him forward until Louis' chest was almost flush with the table and their faces an inch apart.

 

'We have a score to settle my beautiful boy,' Robert hissed in his ear, his rancid breath all over Louis' face making him gag. He licked a stripe up Louis' cheek. Louis' fear escalated so bad, having the monster from his nightmares touch him again, that his bladder gave out and he wet himself, warm piss going down his legs to pool in his shoes. Louis began to panic and struggled in his father's hold but Robert's grip was tight and he twisted his wrist back till Louis nearly screamed from the pain. He was sure his father was going to break his wrist.

 

'Please don't!' Louis begged. 'You're hurting me.' Robert laughing in his face.

 

'Yes beg. You were always good at begging weren't you? Such a little slut for daddy's cock weren't you? Pretended not to like it but you always gagged for it you dirty little boy,' Robert said, saliva flying out of his mouth and landing on Louis' face. Louis closed his eyes tightly shut and pulled at the tight grip Robert had on his wrist but the more he pulled, the more pressure Robert put on his wrist.

 

'N-no I- I d-didn't....I n-never did,' Louis protested as he tried to push himself up into a sitting position hoping his father's grip on him would lessen but Robert only pulled his closer. Despite his handcuffs, he still had Louis unmovable.

 

'You owe me for taking my kidney boy and just remember that I collect. I always collect. You owe me for every day I spend in this hell hole that you put me in when you opened your big mouth. And its not just me that's looking to collect. Oh no my beautiful boy. My friends that you ratted on and condemned to this shit hole, want to collect too. We are patiently waiting and plotting our revenge because naughty boys get punished and you my boy have been very very naughty!' Robert laughed in Louis' face, making him tremble. His hot breath on Louis' face was making him sick and along with the smell of his own piss, he felt his stomach lurch but Louis swallowed and gulped down the little saliva left in his mouth hoping that his stomach would stay put.Louis wondered why the guard outside was not helping him. He surely have heard him yell when his father twisted his wrist viciously, so why was he not helping him? Louis considered screaming for help to get his attention but he figured that the guard would not come to his aid since there was some kind of an agreement between him and his father and the ten minutes that he owed him were not over yet.

 

'I have kept track of you. Watched you go from nothing to a billionaire.I saw you in the newspapers, in magazines, on the news. You made a name for yourself out of my own name and you want to strip me from it. You want to take away my wife! My other children, strip me of my name and my family. Yes, you might be a big shot business man and philanthropist but look at you! You're still a scared little boy who pisses himself. A terrified little whore! I could fuck you right now and you would do nothing but take it. You've always been a sub, a nasty little boy who got off on daddy's cock!'

 

'N-no,' Louis whimpered terrorized. He never got off on it! How dare he? He never enjoyed it! Robert laughed as he tightened his grip on Louis even further.

 

'Oh yes boy. You always spilled every time daddy fucked you. You enjoyed every bit of it you dirty little fucker. Does Harry fuck you like daddy did hmm? Speak boy!' Robert growled in his face.

 

'N-no no,' Louis whined frantically. Robert chuckled, obviously very humored and enjoying this.

 

'So you do the fucking then. Want nobody in you but your daddy right? I own your ass boy. I own you and you will pay for what you did. I have people out there watching you just like you have people in here watching me, making sure I get more jail time. Oh I know you are powerful and have the means to keep me in here but mark my words Louis, I will get out and when I do God help you. I will come for you and that beautiful piece of ass of a boyfriend that you got there. He looks like he's a screamer. I would love to bury myself inside him while you watch.' Robert threw his head back and laughed.

 

Up until now, Louis had been blinded by fear, letting his father terrorize him into submission and maybe that same fear was what drove him to react. The fact that his father had just threatened Harry was a fear greater than the one he had of his father. His hatred for this man surpassed all other feelings going through him and the sole purpose he focused on was Harry's safety. His father had just threatened Harry's safety and Louis was not going to let that happen. It was one thing to threaten and terrorize him but he would not allow him to even entertain the idea of even getting close to Harry!

 

He suddenly pulled himself out of Robert's grasp, his wrist making a sickening crunch as hot pain flashed up his entire arm. Louis sat up, making Robert stumble forward a little from the surprise of his unexpected retaliation. Robert glared and him and Louis glared back holding his injured wrist. Louis did not know what made him reach for the fountain pen and drive it forcefully in the top of his father's palm. The man screamed from the pain as blood squirted from the wound. Louis took the fountain pen out and stabbed his father in the hand again.

 

'You will never fucking mention my boyfriend's name ever again do you understand you worthless piece of shit?' Louis yelled, even though on the inside he was terrified. 'You have hurt me and God knows I'm not over the trauma you put me through but I swear to God, if you ever try to come near Harry or send someone after Harry, I will fucking kill you with my own two hands. I will gladly spend the rest of my life in prison knowing I have taken your life and ended your miserable existance. That night, eighteen years ago, I should've stabbed you in the neck and let you bleed out instead of just taking a kidney.' Louis was shaking badly and he needed this to be over before the adrenaline coursing through him died and he was back to a sorry mess. His father who was holding his bleeding hand laughed.

 

'Oh look who grew a pair. Standing up to me are you boy?'

 

'You are done hurting me. You are nothing to me. Now, sign the fucking papers before I stab you in the throat.'

 

'Guard!'Robert suddenly yelled. 'I am being attacked! Help!' The guard came rushing in and skidded to a stop when he saw blood on the table top and Robert holding his bleeding hand up to his chest, cradling it, looking every inch the victim! But he was not the victim! He was the tormentor, the abuser and Louis wanted to stab him in those cold dark mocking eyes just so they could not look at him anymore. The guard drew his baton, taking up a defensive position.

 

'Putt he weapon down,' he told Louis and Louis furrowed his brow in confusion. Weapon? Louis wanted to scream at him. It's a fucking fountain pen not a weapon you moron! You corrupt piece of shit! Louis kept the pen tightly in his hand regardless. It was his only form of defense against this horrible person sitting across from him. If the corrupt cop disarmed him, he would be vulnerable. The guard reached for the radio on his shoulder.

 

'We have a situation down in visiting room three! I repeat, I have a situation out of control. I need assistance. Now!' The guard kept his eyes fixed on Louis.

 

'I will not repeat myself. Put the weapon down. Now!'

 

 

X

 

 

Walter was in the waiting room with Harry, Harry frantically pacing the length of the room and back again, occasionally tugging on his hair and asking Walter what was taking so long.

 

'You shouldn't have left him alone in there Walter,' Harry said, his voice anguished as if he was in deep physical pain. 'We promised him we wouldn't leave him alone! And we left him alone!' Harry wrung his fingers in nervous frustration. Walter sighed heavily. Clearly the situation was difficult for him too.

 

'Harry, I already told you that he made me leave. I had not intention of leaving him alone. I was ready to drop the deal but he wants it and he made me leave. He allowed his father those ten minutes. I was against them but he wanted them,' Walter explained. Harry stopped pacing and turned to Walter.

 

'That bastard in there had no intention of signing that deal without bargaining for something Walt. How did we not see this coming? He already got what he wanted by making Louis come down here and you allowed him to take more.....' Walter stood up.

 

'Harry I did not allow him anything!' he snapped a little angrily. 'If anything Louis allowed him those ten minutes. I fought for Louis in there but in the end it was his choice to give those ten minutes.' Harry huffed.

 

'I'm sorry Walt. I...I just keep thinking of him alone in there...with him.' Harry looked down as he felt his eyes fill with tears. Walter walked over to him and sighed again feeling sorry for having snapped at him. He could clearly see how devastated Harry was.

 

'He's not alone Harry,' he told him in a gentler tone. 'There's a guard in there with them. He will be cuffed to the table. Louis is safe. All that Robert can do is talk.....'

 

'Emotional and verbal abuse,' Harry interrupted him. 'He can do that while handcuffed to the table.He can hurt Louis while handcuffed to the table Walt and Louis cannot deal with more emotional abuse from that son of a bitch. Sometimes emotional abuse is worse than phyisical abuse. I should know shouldn't I? Louis has had too much from that man already and this...this was unnecessary. He has been doing so well.' Harry choked back a sob. Walter placed a hand on Harry's back.

 

'Hey calm down. It will be alright. Just a few more minutes and it will be over. I will go in and get him. You need to stay here though.' Harry's eyes went wide.

 

'No I....'

 

'Harry,' Walter stopped him immediately. 'I warned you not to retaliate to his taunting. Its a game he plays with words because words are all that he has and you fell for it. You let him get under your skin. I don't blame you. I know you were protecting Louis but retaliation like that can give Robert leverage and that's something we don't need. I'll go in and get him alright. By myself.' As Harry was about to voice his protests, the guard's radio gave off static, then the frantic voice of another guard came through.

 

'We have a situation down in visiting room three! I repeat, I have a situation out of control. I need assistance. Now!'

 

Walter and Harry looked at each other, realization dawning on both their faces.

 

'That's...that's where Louis is,' Harry said as he made to run for the door.

 

'Shit! Fuck!' Walter growled as he made to follow Harry but the guard stopped them both.

 

'You need to stay here. We don't know....'

 

'Louis is in there!' Harry screamed in the guard's face, taking the man by surprise, so much so that the guard took a few steps back away from Harry. Walter touched his arm to try and calm him down but Harry pulled his arm away from Walter. 'Get out of my way! I need to get to Louis. He needs me!' The guard placed on hand on Harry's chest keeping him back from advancing forward and the other hand on his baton at the ready should the need arise to use it. The guard looked at Walter.

 

'Control your client or there will be consequences,' the guard warned. 'I am needed. Now stay here and do not obstruct my work.' Walter moved and stood beside Harry facing the guard.

 

'That in there is my client. If there is a situation, my client may be in need of legal advice so I need to be in there to defend his rights,' Walter told the guard. Harry was hysterically trying to get past Walter and the guard to get to Louis but they were both holding him back.

 

'Sir, I don't know if its a hostage situation or worse. You need to stay here.'

 

'Oh my God Louis,' Harry cried out. 'Let me pass. He needs me. I need to get to Louis. He may be hurt.' Walter turned to Harry who looked like he was two seconds away from a mental breakdown.

 

'Hey hey Harry calm down. Focus. I need you to calm down and focus for me. This panic will do Louis no good. Do you understand? We don't know what's going on so please, if you want to help Louis, calm down and focus.' Harry looked at him with wild panicked eyes. 'Stay here okay. I'll come get you as soon as I can.' Walter turned to the guard.

 

'I am going in there,' he told him sternly. The guard was about to hold him back again but Walter didn't give him the chance. 'My client has the right to have his lawyer present in any situation that may break his civil rights. I demand to be in there with him. Are you going to deny my client his right of having his attorney present? I can have you arrested for that.' The guard hesitated for a minute then nodded.

 

'Bu the stays here,' he said pointing at Harry. 'We cannot endanger another civilian since we don't yet know what we are dealing with.' Walter turned to look at Harry over his shoulder.

 

'Stay,' he told him then he was off hurrying after the guard. When they arrived in the visiting room, Walter was not ready for the scene that greeted him. Robert was clutching his hand that had two gaping holes in it that were bleeding profusely. Louis was handcuffed, clutching a bloody fountain pen and was staring blankly ahead.

 

'What the hell happened here?' Walter barked at the guard that stood beside Louis, baton in hand. 'Why is my client handcuffed? I'd advise you to uncuff him right away!' As Walter was barking orders at the guard, Robert's lawyer entered the room a little out of breath and no sooner had he taken in Robert's bleeding hand, he began firing accusations towards Louis. Walter turned on him angrily.

 

'I would advise you to watch your mouth and your unfounded accusations towards my client Councellor! We don't know what happened here.'

 

'What happened here is that your client attacked and bodily harmed my client and your client is holding the evidence in his hand!' Walter looked at Robert who was dramatically pretending he was severely hurt even though Walter could see right through his charade. Walter saw the bloody fountain pen in Louis' hand and yes that was incriminating but Walter had to smirk at himself that Louis had fought back and Walter felt immensely proud of him. He turned back to the lawyer.

 

'My client was provoked by your client,' he stated matter of factly then turned back to the guard. 'Uncuff him,' he bellowed.

 

'I can't uncuff him,' the guard replied. 'He attacked an inmate...' Walter took two steps across the room and was in the guard's face.

 

'Unless you want a lawsuit to befall this shit hole of a prison, I suggest you uncuff my client now!' Robert's lawyer stepped up to them.

 

'You cannot threaten a lawsuit when my client is the victim here. You client is the aggressor and should remain cuffed!' Walter snorted.

 

'Is your client really the victim here Councellor?' he asked. 'Given his rep sheet and the years he got at his trial eighteen years ago, I'd safely say that my client here is the victim.' Walter's eyes left the lawyer and rested on the guard again. 'Tell me, why did my client, a man who has never had trouble with the law, a respected business man,would attack the inmate?' The guard looked flustered for a minute. His eyes flicked momentarily to Robert but Walter did not miss it.The guard looked back at Walter.

 

'I had to step out of the room for a second,' he said in a lowered voice. Walter's face darkened.

 

'You stepped out of the room and left an inmate alone with his visitor without even cuffing him to the table like prison procedure demands? I told you to cuff him but the Councellor here vouched that his client was harmless and yet here we are. You endangered my client by leaving him unattended then you have the audacity to cuff him for defending himself?'

 

'There is no evidence that my client provoked your client,' Robert's lawyer defended.

 

'Oh shut up!' Walter hissed at him. 'Given past history we both know what your client is capable of so drop the act. Now, I won't say it again. Uncuff my client. I am getting him out of here.' The guard cleared his throat.

 

'I cannot do that. Your client attacked an inmate. He is under arrest.' Walter huffed and rolled his eyes trying to keep patient.

 

'You left them unattended. You broke prison rules, one too many here and you will pay for your misconduct. My client is under duress. He was put in a situation, thanks to your recklessness, where he had to protect his well being. He is under going mental treatment for trauma caused by this man. My client has been in therapy for years because of this man here, that you so casually left him alone with, uncuffed to the table as per prison regulations, a man who had put my client through severe trauma. And you dare cuff my client because he defended himself? If you had been in the room as you were supposed to be, none of this would have happened.'

 

'It is prison rules....' the guard began but Walter interrupted him.

 

'Prison rules which you broke!' Walter spat at him, then he turned to the to the other guard. 'Please alert the Warden. I want him down here now.' The guard nodded once and talked into the radio on his shoulder in a hushed tone. Walter sat down beside Louis who was just sitting there not talking, not moving, not interacting, oblivious to all to all that was going on around him.

 

'It's alright Louis. I'll get you out of here in no time at all. Hang in there.'

 

I need Harry. Where is Harry? Please get Harry.

 

Walter didn't know if Louis could hear him or not as he gave no indication what so ever that he had heard Walter. He squeezed his shoulder, letting him know that he was there but Louis did not move an inch.

 

Please get Harry. I just need Harry.

 

'Did my client resist arrest?' Walter asked the guard. The guard shook his head.

 

'No. He has been unresponsive.....'

 

'So you cuffed him regardless while in a catatonic state?' The guard did not reply. Walter shook his head. Just then the Warden stormed into the room like the boss that he was. Walter knew the Warden from back in the days when he had been a policeman. They went back a few years having met on several cases in courts and police stations.

 

'Someone care to tell me what happened here?' he asked in his strict stern voice. He looked at Louis. 'And why is Mr. Tomlinson Jr cuffed? Have we lost our minds here? Mr. Tomlinson is a respected member of society and I really don't wish to be served a law suit!'

 

In brief, Walter related to him what had happened since they had arrived here, with occasional interruptions from Robert's lawyer defending his client, which the Warden so eloquently ignored. The Warden looked at Robert and gave him a look of contempt then turned his attention to the guard that had called him to come down here.

 

'Take him to the infirmary,' he ordered. The guard nodded and hauled Robert non-too gently out of his chair, blood still dripping from his hand.

 

'See you soon my beautiful boy. Daddy dearest loves you,' he mocked as he laughed out loudly. The guard dragged him out of the room but his laughter echoed in the room as they walked away towards the infirmary. The Warden shook his head then he focused his gaze on the guard that had been sentry in the room while Louis visited with his father.

 

'You are suspended as of now until further notice. Gather your things and leave immediately. I will inform you of any decisions taken regarding your future employment. Uncuff Mr. Tomlinson before you leave.' The guard clenched his teeth together but said nothing and did what he had been ordered to do then left the room.

 

'This is preposterous!' Robert's lawyer said. The Warden eyed him non too happily.

 

'Councellor, inmates hurt themselves all of the time in this prison. Some accidentally fall. Some accidentally stab themselves while on kitchen duty. It is also common that during their work in the prison they find themselves accidentally injured. It is quite common let me assure you. So it's not surprising that Robert hurt himself while on gardening duty.' The Councellor's eyes went wide in shock.

 

'You don't mean....'

 

'What I mean is, Mr Tomlinson Senior was accidentally injured while gardening. Now if you'll excuse me Councellor, I have more serious matters to attend to. Good day.' The lawyer threw a disgusted look at the Warden and at Walter, grabbed his briefcase off the table and walked out. When they were alone, the Warden turned to Walter.

 

'I am terribly sorry that this has happened to your client. Please rest assured and assure Mr. Tomlinson too that no further action will betaken with regards to his attack on his father. I am sure he had his reasons. That man is a vile being. The report issued by the prison will state that Mr. Tomlinson senior was indeed injured during his work duties. It will be his word against mine and we know who will be believed. Please extend my deepest apologies to Mr. Tomlinson when he is feeling better.' Walter shook the Warden's hand.

 

'Thank you Warden. I appreciate that and I am sure Mr. Tomlinson will be very thankful for your co-operation. I will make sure to tell Mr. Tomlinson all that you have told me and expect a hefty donation to your prison.'

 

'Is there any way I can be of further service?' the Warden asked him, doing everything he could to avoid a lawsuit ending up on the doorstep of his prison. Walter looked at Louis who was still sitting motionless staring into nothing.

 

'I need to have his partner in here to see to him. This hasn't been easy for Mr. Tomlinson.' The Warden nodded.

 

'I can only imagine. What that man did to him,' he paused and shook his head. 'I will have his partner sent in right away.'

 

'Also,' Walter told him, 'if we could have a little privacy and discretion to get him out of here, we would be really grateful. We don't want any word of this getting out to the press.' The Warden nodded.

 

'Of course. Anything you need Walter.' The Warden took out his phone and made a call. When he was done, he turned back to Walter.

 

'A guard is escorting Mr .Tomlinson's partner down here as we speak. Your belongings at check out will be collected by an officer and placed in Mr. Tomlinson's car. The car will be waiting for you at the back employee's exit just down this corridor for maximum privacy. Take all the time you need.' Walter thanked him, they shook hands again and the Warden left. Just as the Warden walked through the door, Harry came rushing in, not sparing a second look at the Warden.His eyes were fixed on Louis and no sooner had he laid eyes on him, Harry knew that Louis had dissociated. Harry's heart thumped wildly in his chest as he sat down next to Louis and noticed the blood on the table.

 

'Louis,' he whispered, 'are you hurt? Did he hurt you?' Harry felt panic course through him because he had no idea what had happened in this room. All he could see was the blood on the table. Walter squeezed his shoulder gently.

 

'Physically he's alright Harry. Emotionally and mentally not so much. That blood is not his. I'll give you some privacy. I'll be outside in the corridor if you need me.' Harry nodded mechanically, not taking his eyes off Louis. Louis looked pale and tired and his eyes were vacant again. Harry told himself not to panic but to focus. He wouldn't be able to help Louis if he panicked now. It was then that the stench of urine hit him and he felt his heart break for Louis when he realized what had happened.

 

'Oh honey,' he whispered and ever so gently, not wanting to startle him, Harry hugged him to his chest. Louis let himself be moved by Harry. He knew he was safe with Harry. He knew that Harry would take care of him. Harry sniffed back his tears because his heart ached for Louis,it ached with the realization, that Louis had been so alone in here and so afraid that he had lost control over his bladder. He knew Louis would be so ashamed and embarrassed and he made it his duty to protect his dignity the best he could. Hopefully no one else in the room had noticed but he doubted it. The glass of water had toppled over, disguising some of it but the smell could not be disguised in the small room. Harry wanted to kill that son of a bitch for reducing Louis to this! Harry kissed his head.

 

'Its alright sweetheart. It's over. It's over. You will never have to see him again I promise you that. We'll get home in no time baby and I will take care of you. I got you my precious love. I got you.' Harry ran his hand up and down Louis' back because he was trembling. Harry noticed that Louis had a bloody fountain pen clasped tightly in his fist, the cuff of his white shirt stained red with blood. What had he done?

 

Ever so gently, he tried to pry his fingers open but they were curled very tightly around the fountain pen. Harry rubbed his fingers and his back, kissing the side of his face.

 

'It's over baby. I know you can hear me and please know that its okay for you to retire inside yourself. You need to heal and I'm here with you to take care of you until you come back to me. Take all the time you need sweetheart just know that it's over alright. He can't hurt you anymore. You can let it go now honey. I got you. I'm not leaving you again. I am so sorry I wasn't here with you. I am so so sorry honey but you can let it go now. Let it go.' Harry kept holding him and talking to him softly, reassuring him and making him feel as safe as possible. This time, when Harry tried to pry his fingers open, they gave right away and Harry took the bloody fountain pen from his hand and placed it on the table.

 

'Well done baby,' Harry praised him. 'Now let's get you home shall we? You need rest and looking after.' Harry kissed his cheek and Louis closed his eyes relaxing into him. Louis wanted to thank him and tell him how grateful he was. He wanted to tell him to never leave him again, he wanted to tell him that his father was coming for him but he wasn't ready to come back just yet. He needed time. He was so tired and mentally exhausted. He felt safe and alright that Harry understood his situation. He trusted Harry with all that he had.

 

Harry called Walter who came in right away.

 

'How is he?' Walter asked him. Harry placed another kiss on top of Louis' head.

 

'Right now he's not very good but he will be. He just needs time to heal and this is how he does it.' Harry motioned to the pen on the table.'What happened Walt?' Walter sighed.

 

'He stabbed his father in the hand. Twice. With that fountain pen. I don't know what he said to him that made him react but I am so damn proud of him that he stood up to that bastard,' Walter told him. Harry kissed him again.

 

'I am so proud of you baby. You are so brave,' Harry complimented him. 'Will he be charged or anything?' Walter shook his head.

 

'No. The Warden has taken care of it. He doesn't want a lawsuit so he's covering it up. He knows Robert is a scumbag and its not in his best interest to take it up against Louis.' Harry hummed an approval. Being Louis Tomlinson and having a lawyer like Walter had its perks.

 

'However,' Walter continued, 'I will take that pen and destroy it. If it falls into the wrong hands it could be used as evidence against Louis to incriminate him. He could be blackmailed so we better not take any chances.' Walter opened his briefcase, took out an envelope and deposited the bloody fountain pen inside.

 

'Are we ready to go?' Walter asked him. Harry nodded.

 

'Yes. Please help me get him home,' Harry whispered.

 

 

If you are the desert  
I'll be the sea  
If you ever hunger  
Hunger for me  
Whatever you ask for  
That's what I'll be

So when you remember the ones who have lied  
Who said that they cared  
But then laughed as you cried  
Beautiful darling  
Don't think of me

Because all I ever wanted  
It's in your eyes, baby  
And love can't lie,no  
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)  
My love is always tellin' me so  
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)  
Just hold on, hold on  
I won't let you go, my baby

 

X

 

Robert was practically dragged down to the infirmary by two guards as he shouted out vile names and curses towards his son, hoping he could hear him.

 

'Put a lid on it Tomlinson or you'll end up in solitary,' one of the guards warned him, clearly unaffected by the man's rage and threats.

 

'I was attacked,' Robert screamed at them. 'I am the victim here!'

 

'Sure you are,' the guard mocked him. They arrived at the infirmary and they hauled a struggling Robert inside.

 

'You are all a bunch of motherfuckers,' he spat at them. 'You believe that prick because of who he is. He is nothing do you hear? Nothing! He attacked me! He fucking attacked me. Look at my God damned hand!'

 

'Shut your hole Tomlinson. I won't tell you again. Doc see to him,' the guard said as he cuffed him to the bed, not taking any chances with the infirmary doctor. They stepped outside as the doctor walked over to the man.

 

'Tomlinson?' he asked him.

 

'That's me in all my pride and fucking glory Doc,' he replied sarcastically. The doctor looked at the two deep holes on his hand that were still bleeding.

 

'What happened to your hand?' the doctor asked him. Robert scoffed.

 

'My prissy fucker of a son attacked me with a God damned pen and I get the blame for it. How is that fucking fair tell me Doc? Because he has a fancy lawyer that's why that motherfucker!' The doctor looked at him for a long moment then asked him :

 

'Is your son by any chance Louis Tomlinson?' Robert looked at the doctor properly for the first time since entering the infirmary.

 

'The one and fucking only. Do you know that little fucker?' he asked him clearly intrigued. The doctor smiled at him.

 

'I know him,' he said. He held out his hand to Robert. 'Its a pleasure to meet you Mr. Tomlinson. I am Dr. Craig Blake and I have a bone to pick with your son.' Robert smiled big at the young doctor.

 

'Well well well isn't the world a small space. Nice to meet you Dr. Blake. Looks like we have an enemy in common.' Craig grinned at him.

 

'We sure do. Let's see to that hand shall we? We have much to talk about Mr. Tomlinson.'

 

COMING SOON CHAPTER 36.................................


	36. The Depth of Your Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO AGAIN. HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE. OKAY SO WE ARE NEARING THE END. THIS STORY WILL HAVE 40 CHAPTERS. THEY MIGHT BE LONGER THAN THE ONES I HAVE POSTED SO FAR BUT THE STORY ENDS AT CHAPTER 40. THERE MIGHT BE AN EPILOUGE BUT AT THIS POINT IN TIME MY AIM IS 40 CHAPTERS. WHEN I FIRST STARTED THIS STORY IT WAS MEANT TO HAVE JUST 10 CHAPTERS BUT THEN I WAS ASKED TO WRITE MORE AND IT TOOK ON THE SHAPE THAT IT DID. THERE ARE STILL MORE THINGS TO WRITE AND LIKE I SAID THE REMAINING FOUR CHAPTERS MIGHT BE EVEN LONGER THAN THE ONES SO FAR BUT IT HAS TO END. IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S CHAPTER 36 AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT. MUCH THANKS FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS, MESSAGES IN THE LARRY LIBRARY AND THOSE WHO TALK TO ME. I APPRECIATE IT ALL. ALL THE LOVE, M.

The Depth of Your Love

 

 

I believe in you  
You know the door to my very soul  
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour  
You're my savior when I fall

 

 

The jet got clearance from the control tower and was ready for take off. Harry sat with Louis at the back of the plane wanting some privacy for Louis. He had asked the crew for blankets which placed down on the seat before setting Louis down comfortably and fastening his seat belt. Then he draped another blanket over him, hoping it would cease some of Louis' shivering but Harry knew that Louis' shivering had nothing to do with the air conditioning on the plane. It was a shivering that started deep in Louis' soul, seeped into his bones,into his muscles, into his skin until it made his tremble on his outside.

 

Louis rested his head back against the seat and looked out of the window as the jet raced down the runway, picking up speed. He felt the plane take off, its wheels lifting off the ground and gaining altitude.Louis watched Manchester fall away from him. He was on the way home. He was safe. He closed his eyes and tried not to hear his father'slaughter or hear his threats or feel the touch of his clammy fingers around his wrist as he held him down. His father's cold eyes were imprinted on the back of his eyelids so when he closed his eyes he saw them, empty and dark boring into his soul, reaching deep inside of him. He quickly opened his eyes, wide and searching, his breathing a little erratic and stared out at the clouds and the grey afternoon sky promising more rain. He couldn't close his eyes! If he did, he would see him smiling and laughing and smirking and saying awful disgusting things.

 

Louis shuddered violently and Harry was quick to place another blanket over him, tucking it up under his chin, trying to make him feel warm and secure as much as he possibly could. Harry! Louis' heart ached in his chest and thudded dully against his ribs because he had put Harry through so much yet Harry stayed with him through it all. He felt Harry's lips brush against his forehead, so warm and soft.

 

'We'll be home soon love,' Harry whispered to him and placed another kiss on his temple.

 

Louis sighed inwardly. Yes, he wanted to be home, away from the eyes of the world. He wanted to get out of his clothes, his pants drenched in his own piss that were now drying against his skin and his soggy shoes which were also full of his piss and squished every time he walked. He felt weak and disgusted and he wanted to tell Harry that his wrist ached so much but he just couldn't bring himself to leave his mind yet. In here he could hide and be in silence. In here he was safe.

 

He felt the jet bump as it touched down in Heathrow. Nearly home! The thought filled him with peace and comfort.

 

Once the jet door was open, Harry helped Louis up from his seat and Louis complied, just letting Harry lead him and move him as he saw fit. He had no notion of what was going on around him or who was around him besides Harry. All that he felt was Harry. Harry's hands ever so gentle and careful on him. Harry's words whispered softly for his ears only to hear. Harry's familiar scent that filled him with reassurance and reminded him of home. Harry's warm presence at his side, a solid being that Louis knew he could trust explicitly with his life, this being that promised to love him and he did, this being that promised him over and over again that he would never leave him and he didn't. Yes, Louis found comfort in Harry more than Harry himself knew.

 

The car ride from Heathrow to Hampstead was a blur for Louis. He was nestled into Harry's side with his arm securely around his shoulder,his head resting on Harry's chest, Harry's warmth engulfing him. Harry was always warm except his feet. His feet were always cold and Louis wanted to focus on Harry's cold toes under the covers to avoid closing his eyes. He was so tired and the gentle hum of the engine was lulling him to sleep. His let his eyes fall closed because they were so very heavy.

 

Harry was speaking to Anthony on the phone, explaining to him all that had happened at the prison. His voice was low and deep and it rumbled in his chest. Louis felt oddly comforted by the vibrations in his chest. Harry kept his arm around Louis protectively. His breathing had become slow and steady so Harry figured that Louis had fallen asleep.He just held him and let him rest but Harry did not know that Louis was battling his demon even with his eyes closed as sleep pulled him under. Which was why Harry was startled when Louis suddenly sat up straight, eyes glazed and wide open, a choked scream leaving his parted lips and shaking like a leaf. Harry was quick to wrap him u pin his arms even though Louis struggled against him.

 

'Shh shh shh it's alright baby. It's just a dream. Just a dream. You are in your car on the way home. You are safe. I got you,' Harry told him as he repeated the information to Louis like Anthony had told him to do to make Louis aware of where he was when he woke up disoriented. Louis kept staring ahead, breathing heavily until he sagged against Harry's chest.

 

'That's my baby,' Harry cooed against his hair as he placed kisses on his head.

 

Harry couldn't wait until they got home so that he could settle Louis down and he sighed in relief when Angus pulled up to their gate which automatically opened for Angus by security. Even though Ryan had been caught, Louis still insisted that they should at least still have security at the house. As soon as the car stopped in front of their door, Harry opened the car door, got out and helped Louis out of the car, keeping a hand on the top of his head to make sure he wouldn't bump it against the car roof. Louis moved like a puppet on strings.The way Harry moved him, he moved accordingly.

 

David greeted them at the door, his eyes shocked wide when he saw the state his boss was in but he said nothing, knowing it was not his place to comment of his employer's situation. Walter walked in before them, ready to let nobody crowed them. Harry had given his strict instructions to let nobody approach them once they got to the house, not even Johanna. Harry didn't want anyone to see Louis in the state he was in.

 

As Harry walked in with Louis, his arms wrapped around him heading straight for the elevator, Johanna and Maggie caught a glimpse of them from their sitting position in the lounge. Both women gasped when they saw the way Louis was barely conscious in Harry's arms.

 

'Louis!'Johanna exclaimed. 'Oh my God what happened?' Walter nodded at Harry to keep on going. Walter hurried over to her as Harry entered the lift and repeatedly stabbed the button that would take them up to the second floor. He wanted Louis away from all eyes. This was private, just between the two of them and Harry was going to do everything to protect Louis' dignity even from his own mother! Finally, the doors closed and the last thing Harry saw was Walter comforting a hysterical Johanna but at the moment, he couldn't worry about her. All his worry was saved for his Louis!

 

When the lift opened on their floor, Harry ushered Louis into their bedroom and softly closed the door behind them. He had made it and brought Louis home safely. Harry placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

'We're home sweetheart, safe in our bedroom,' he told him, making him aware of his surroundings. 'Come.' He walked him further into the room and sat him down in a chair. It unnerved Harry greatly how Louis just let him do whatever he wanted to him. He was in an extremely vulnerable state, a state where anyone could take advantage of him and Harry shuddered to his core to think that Louis used to dissociate whenever his father had hurt him.

 

Harry quickly diverted his dark thoughts away from Louis' father and changed out of his clothes. He put on a pair of sweatpants and at-shirt then went back to Louis. He crouched down in front of him and looked up into his empty eyes. Louis was just starting straight ahead, out their huge picture window to the heavy rain beating against the glass.

 

'Sweetheart, I'm going to run you a hot bath alright?' Harry told him but he got no reply or reaction from Louis, not that he expected one! He squeezed his thigh gently, got up and went into their bathroom to fill up the tub. Harry put in scented oils and bubble bath, tested the running water making sure it was the right temperature for Louis. When it was full, Harry went back to get him and found him still sitting slumped in the chair seeing through the glass to the rain outside.

 

'Come on baby,' he told him as he gently helped him out of the chair. Louis offered no resistance, just compliance. Harry guided him into the bathroom. The room was full of fragrant steam and pleasantly warm. Harry cupped Louis' face in both his hands and kissed his lips gently. He could feel him trembling, like a vibration going through his body.

 

'I'm going to undress you okay,' Harry informed him but Louis remained staring through Harry not giving any indication that he had heard him or whether he agreed or not. Harry sighed and ever so gently he undid his tie and pulled it off. Then he removed his suit jacket and Gucci belt, placing each item neatly on the chair. Louis stood there motionless and unresponsive as Harry undid the buttons of his shirt, removed his cuff links and slid the shirt gingerly off his shoulders. As Harry eased the shirt sleeves off his arms, he was startled when he heard Louis whimper softly. He looked up at him and his face was screwed up in a painful grimace.

 

'What is it honey?' Harry asked him but Louis only whimpered again. Harry put it down to painful memories Louis was reliving inside his head but when he pulled off the shirt free off his body, Harry gasped in shock when he saw the cause of Louis' discomfort. His right wrist was swollen and turning purple. His thumb was swollen too.

 

'Dear God did he do that to you?' Harry whispered, careful not touch his wrist. 'What did he do to you?' Harry asked in a broken voice, tears pricking his eyes. He looked at Louis. 'I'm so sorry baby. I promised you that I wouldn't let him hurt you and he hurt you and its all my fault.' Harry kissed his cheek. 'I am so so sorry I let you down Louis.' Louis did not reply. Harry sat him down on the chair, wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, grabbed his phone and quickly dialed Leonard who picked up after the first ring.

 

'Leonard,' Harry said urgently into the phone, 'I need a doctor as soon as possible to come and see Louis. Can you arrange that?' Harry paused as he listened to what Leonard was saying, his eyes never leaving Louis. When Leonard paused in his conversation, Harry continued :

 

'I need you to call him right away. He needs to come and see Louis and tell him that its urgent Leonard. Please stress that it's urgent.' Harry hung up the moment Leonard assured him that he would get right on it. He placed the phone face down on the bathroom cabinet and turned his attention back to Louis.

 

'Honey a doctor is coming to see you shortly. I am so so sorry you're in pain. Let's get you cleaned up yeah.' Harry got down on his knees and took off Louis' soggy shoes and socks, Louis letting Harry lift his feet and put them back down like a doll. Harry stood up and helped Louis up again. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants that stank of drying urine and dragged them down his legs, leaving Louis in just his boxers.

 

Harry felt a little awkward at taking off Louis' boxers when he wasn't fully conscious. He was worried he might trigger something in Louis and make his situation worse. He was worried that Louis might feel exposed while in his vulnerable situation. Harry stroked his face hoping that Louis would look at him but he didn't.

 

'Louis baby, I am taking your boxers off. I know you can hear me love so please please stop me if you feel uncomfortable alright.' Harry studied his face for any small trace of a reaction but there was none. Harry sighed heavily and made quick work of pulling off Louis'soaking underwear, keeping his eyes diverted off Louis' nakedness to allow his man to keep his dignity. He threw them in the laundry hamper along with the trousers. He took Louis' hand and tugged him forward leading him towards the full tub. Harry helped him in, sitting him down in the hot fragrant water. As soon as he was seated in the tub, Louis pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, wincing when he moved his injured wrist.

 

Harry took a wash cloth, soaked it in the hot water and ran it over Louis' back and shoulders hoping the action and hot water would ease off some of his tension but Louis remained trapped in his mind.

 

'You're going to be alright,' Harry told him, passing the wash cloth soothingly over his biceps and down his arms, making sure to avoid his swollen wrist. 'We will get through this too sweetheart. I just want you to know that I am so very proud of you and I love you so much.' Harry watched his face for any sign of recognition that maybe Louis was hearing what he was saying but his eyes remained trained ahead.

 

Harry sighed, feeling a sense of disappointment in himself that he couldn't get Louis out of this and that he had let his father hurt him when he had promised him over and over that he wouldn't allow him to hurt him. He gently lowered Louis' legs and washed his thighs and between his legs, not dwelling on the intimate touch and Louis let him. It hurt Harry to the core to see Louis like this again. He thought it had hurt the fist time it had happened but the second time round it was worse. The vulnerability, the submission and dependency Louis gave was not something Harry was accustomed to or comfortable with.It scared him but he couldn't let Louis down. He had done that already by not listening to what Walter had told them about interacting with Robert. He had disobeyed. He had let that vile human being anger him, thus resulting in being kicked out of the room and leaving Louis alone with that monster! Harry quickly finished washing him and helped him out of the tub. He wrapped him in a big fluffy towel, covering his naked body and pulled him into a tight hug full of love.

 

'Please come back to me,' he whispered into his hair. 'Please come back baby. It's awfully lonely without you. I...I miss you so much honey.' Harry held him for a while longer then released him and took him into the bedroom where he dressed Louis in a pair of sweats and one of his jumpers that he knew Louis loved. Harry sat him on the bed and went to clear the bathroom but as he was emptying the tub, he heard a soft knock on the door. He opened it and found Leonard who informed him that the doctor had arrived. Harry felt elated that the doctor had been quick and told Leonard to show him up to their room. A few minutes later, the doctor was sitting in a chair opposite Louis closely examining his wrist.

 

'Its not broken,' he told Harry who sighed in relief. 'Its dislocated and I can fix it for him because the pain he is in right now must be excruciating and the more we leave it dislocated the more damage will be done to the tendons, nerves and muscles.' The doctor gave Harry a curious look. 'He is very unresponsive,' he pointed out as he continued to examine Louis' wrist. Harry licked his lips nervously.

 

'He's um he's going through something at the moment,' Harry offered by way of explanation. He didn't know this doctor even though Leonard had told him that this was Louis' personal doctor. 'His therapist should he here soon.' Harry left it at that and hoped that the doctor would not make any further inquiries. The doctor nodded.

 

'Okay, you need to hold him really tightly and still. Do not let him move until I put his wrist back in place. Don't let him move at all or I might break it.' Harry sat down next to Louis, wrapped his arms around him, one across his shoulders and one across his chest, trapping him against his own solid chest. He placed a kiss on his temple.

 

'The doctor is going to help make it better Lou,' Harry whispered in his ear. 'It will be quick and you will feel better after okay. I got you.' The doctor met Harry's eyes looking for the go ahead. Harry gave him a tight nod. Before the doctor commenced, Harry turned Louis' face into his chest to shield him from what the doctor was about to do even though he knew that Louis wasn't seeing the doctor at all. The doctor raised his injured hand to him. He took a steady hold of Louis' hand and with the other hand he grabbed his forearm tightly then with one swift movement he pushed the injured hand up towards Louis' wrist. The bone made a loud sickening crunch as the joint slid back in it's natural place. Louis let out an agonized howl of pain and struggled in Harry's tight hold.

 

'Shh shh shh it's alright baby. It's done. It's done.' Harry felt him tremble against his chest and whimper softly.

 

'Harry,' he whispered and Harry seized up. Had he heard right or was he imagining things? Harry felt Louis' good hand wrap around his forearm and squeeze gently.

 

'Harry,' Louis whimpered again. Harry released him from his tight embrace and looked down at Louis to find him staring right back at him with teary blue eyes, focused solely on him.

 

'You're back,' Harry said softly as he cupped his face and placed a kiss on his lips. 'You're back. You're back. My baby is back,' Harry said happily against Louis' lips and hugged him, careful not to hurt his wrist.

 

'That hurt a lot,' Louis said into Harry's neck. Harry smiled and pulled back to look at him.

 

'It was dislocated honey,' Harry explained. 'The good doctor here is fixing it up for you.' Louis turned his head slowly and his gaze settled on the man sitting in the chair opposite him, still holding his injured wrist gingerly in his hands.

 

'Mr. Tomlinson,' the doctor smiled at him.

 

'Dr. Talbot what are you...' his question trailed off the moment he realized that of course Harry would get him the help he needed! He turned to look at Harry and gave him a small smile.

 

'Thank you,' he whispered. Harry bumped his nose playfully against his.

 

'Told you I got you didn't I?' he purred, making Louis cuddle into him. The doctor cleared his throat but he was smiling at them.

 

'I am going to bandage your wrist and you will need to wear a sling fora good few days. Try not to use your hand as much as possible. It needs to heal in the right place. Ice it twice a day to avoid swelling. Keep the bandage on to keep the joint in place. Keep the sling on for two weeks. After that, pop down to clinic for an x-ray just so we make sure that its healing properly and in it's rightful place. The wrist is very delicate and we want it to heal properly and in its proper socket.' Harry and Louis both nodded as the doctor expertly bandaged it up and then produced a sling from his bag and put it on Louis, cradling his wrist gently in it.

 

'There. I will prescribe some pain killers for you. They might make you drowsy so avoid driving. Rest and let that wrist heal.'

 

When the doctor left, they were engulfed in silence, a silence between them that was full and heavy with unspoken words. Louis kept his eyes down, not looking at Harry. He didn't know exactly what he was feeling. There were too many emotions going through him to pin point one but the major emotion he was feeling was shame. He was terribly ashamed. Harry placed his hand on his back and gently ran it up and down Louis' hunched back.

 

'Welcome back,' Harry told him. His voice was low but it sounded so loud in the room. Louis flinched.

 

'I wasn't ready to,' he replied quietly, eyes down.

 

'I know,' Harry agreed. A beat of heavy silence. 'How are you feeling?' Louis shrugged.

 

'Bad,' he whispered. 'I'm feeling so bad.' Harry moved closer to him, their thighs touching and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Louis let him. He needed his warmth and solid presence.

 

'Do you want to talk about what happened?' Harry asked him. Louis bit his lower lip and gulped, fighting back the tears.

 

'No,' he croaked out. Harry placed a kiss on his temple.

 

'Alright. I'm here for when you're ready to talk. Do you want something to eat?'

 

'No,' Louis croaked out again, unable to dislodge the horrid lump that was stuck to his Adam's apple, choking him, making his eyes water. Harry sighed deeply. He hated that Louis always stopped eating when things got bad. Harry had noticed that he had lost weight but he never pointed it out, not really wanting to make Louis uncomfortable or self aware of his body in a negative way.

 

'Okay sweetheart,' Harry told him not really wanting to push him when he was so down trodden. 'I'll call Leonard and ask him to have some tea sent up. A cuppa will work wonders.'

 

Louis said nothing. He just sat there looking down. He wanted to tell Harry that no, a fucking cuppa would not work wonders, that a fucking cuppa would not erase the fear his father's threats had conjured up in him and that had settled deep in his bones like a killer disease. He wanted to scream in his face that no, a fucking cuppa was not going to make anything right but in his messed up mind, Louis knew that Harry was trying his best to ease his pains, his fears. Harry was trying to create a safe sanctuary out of his constant presence beside him, a sanctuary out of his body, his heart and his soul for Louis to rest in and Louis wanted nothing more than to crawl inside Harry, nestle in the space near his heart, shielded by his ribs and find shelter and safety inside of him. But he could not do that. Instead he leaned heavily into Harry's side and let Harry hold him, his long arms wrapped around him securely, his body solid and warm, offering Louis a sense of safety and peace and the comfort he so much needed.

 

Alight tap on the door disturbed their now comfortable silence. Harry felt a little annoyed at the intrusion as he didn't want anyone to disturb the peace he was trying to create for Louis.

 

'Yes,' Harry called out, his voice deep and steady, yet low. The door opened slightly and Leonard poked his head in just as Louis sat up straighter away from Harry's embrace. Harry knew that Louis hated for his staff to see him weak and vulnerable and he respected him for that, that despite all that he was going through, he was managing to keep his dignity intact. Harry kept his hand loosely on his lower back.

 

'Sir,' Leonard said softly, 'Dr. Miles is here for you.' Harry knew that even though Leonard had addressed Louis, Louis was not going to reply and that he was letting Harry take the lead. He had to be his voice.

 

'Send him up please Leonard,' Harry told him softly. Harry rubbed Louis' back up and down the moment Leonard closed the door.

 

'Anthony is here sweetheart,' Harry said. Louis nodded his acknowledgement at Harry's statement. Another knock on the door and this time Harry got up and opened it, greeting Anthony and showing him inside. Anthony's eyes landed on Louis who was sitting on the bed, his shoulders hunched in on himself and his arm in a sling dangling in front of his chest. Anthony sat down in the chair facing Louis, the same chair that the doctor had vacated minutes earlier. Harry resumed his position on the bed beside Louis, sitting as close to him as possible, his hand resting on his lower back.

 

'What happened Louis?' Anthony asked indicating his sling.

 

'I dislocated my wrist,' Louis said flatly not offering any more information as to how he had dislocated it in the first place. Anthony nodded, deciding to come back to it later.

 

'How are you feeling?' he asked him instead, his eyes behind his square silver rimmed glasses reading Louis' every reaction. Louis kept his eyes trained on the carpet.

 

'Bad,' he whispered, repeating the same word he had told Harry.

 

'Define bad,' Anthony urged him, prodding him slowly. Louis let out a breath.

 

'Catastrophically bad,' he said.

 

'That's not enough. Elaborate on what catastrophic is for you.' Louis chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

 

'It's bad because,' he paused and stole a look at Harry who gave him an encouraging nod to go on. 'It's bad because I'm not over my trauma. I thought I was healing and moving on, that I was over coming it but...but...' Louis paused and gulped, the tears blurring his vision once again. He was becoming agitated. Harry rubbed his back and kissed his temple.

 

'It's alright sweetheart. You're safe,' he told him by way of calming him down.

 

'But what Louis?' Anthony pressed.

 

'But I'm still terrified of him. He's still in my head. I thought that after all this time, that I could face him and stand up to him, that I was ready and could do it, but I'm weak and frightened and I made myself vulnerable and he took advantage of my vulnerability like he always did. I gave him power over me. He still has power over me.'Anthony leaned forward in his seat, bringing himself closer to Louis.

 

'Louis, what he put you through is no easy feat. He destroyed you. He robbed you of your innocence. He stole your mother and your siblings away from you, depriving you of your mother's love and nurturing. He isolated you. He exploited you to horrors no child should be subjected to. For five whole years you were brutally raped and beaten into submission to do his sick deeds. He made you submit to his friends who took advantage of you. He threatened to hurt your mother and siblings if you didn't do what he said, putting their safety into your hands and you had no other choice but to give in so that they could be safe. You were just a small defenseless child Louis, give yourself some credit. Childhood trauma follows into adulthood and its very difficult to come through it but you have made a lot of progress. If anything, you are a warrior and a survivor.' Anthony paused and took in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly then continued.

 

'He broke you in all ways a human being can be broken. He took your family from you. You watched him beat and rape your mother because she protected you and you took that blame upon yourself because he was hurting her because she was trying to protect you. You were just a child Louis. No child should have to endure that. He terrorized you and took everything from you so yes it is natural and quite normal for you to still be frightened of him but what you have to keep in mind is that it is your choice whether to let him take more from you or put a stop to it. You can allow him to continue possessing you or stay on the road to getting better and continuing to fight to overcome it and get through it.' Louis' lower lip wobbled.

 

'H-he said...he said that I enjoyed it and w-w wanted it...that I...I always came b-because I enjoyed it a-and was a cock slut for daddy's cock...he-he said I....I was a dirty little boy,' he said as a choked sob left his lips. He looked at Harry with eyes full of tears.

 

'I didn't Harry. I-I never did. I hated every bit of it. I-I loathed him and his friends. I...I never enjoyed it. I swear Harry. I...I...' Harry pulled him into a hug, crushing him to his chest, his own eyes full of tears.

 

'I know sweetheart. I know baby. I know. Don't cry honey, don't cry,' he whispered in his hair as sobs racked through Louis' body. He clung to Harry for dear life.

 

'I hated it,' he sobbed. 'I hated it. He hurt me. He tied me up and beat me and I had no choice. I had no choice. He m-made me cum....I had to or he wouldn't stop until I did. He would've hurt them if I didn't obey him. I had no choice Harry I swear. I swear.' Harry was now fully crying because that monster had reduced his love to this, to a broken man who was still haunted by his past.

 

'I know baby,' Harry croaked into his neck. 'I know my baby.' Louis cried into his neck and Harry let him. Harry looked at Anthony, the tears falling from his eyes, silently asking if this was alright and Anthony gave him a small nod. Harry continued to hold Louis as he cried. He had totally let his walls down in front of Anthony and Anthony was glad because this was a break through for Louis. Louis had always been guarded and never fully let his walls down or anyone in even after he had met Harry. He had never fully given himself over. Even after years of therapy with Anthony, Anthony had never seen him reduced like this. But then again, Louis had never faced his father until today after eighteen years.

 

'Louis,' Anthony called out softly. He had to tread carefully because Louis was in a very delicate state mentally and emotionally. Louis pulled back slightly from Harry's embrace not wanting to leave Harry's safe arms. His eyes were wet, his cheeks stained with tears and his nose snotty. Harry reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a handful of tissues from the box and handed them to Louis. He took them with a grateful look at Harry that crushed his heart. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose then looked at Anthony.

 

'Why did you attack your father?' Anthony asked him. Louis looked down and more tears fell from his eyes but he said nothing.

 

'Louis,' Anthony said again more carefully, 'you just told me that you are still afraid of him, that he has power over you, yet you attacked him. You injured him. What made you retaliate and physically harm your father?'

 

Louis shook his head and gnawed on his bottom lip, deliberating what he should say and how much he should say in front of Harry who was sitting next to him, crying with him, breaking down with him and waiting to hear why Louis had attacked his father. Louis knew that what Robert had told him would disrupt Harry because hell, it had disrupted him to the core and Harry was sensitive and good and if he knew that Robert wanted to.....Louis shook his head again. Harry rubbed his back comfortingly.

 

'Do you want some alone time with Anthony honey?' Harry asked him as if sensing his distress. Louis looked at him through watery eyes. How was Harry so in tune to his inner feelings? How was it that he always heard the words that Louis couldn't say or feel the things that Louis felt? Louis offered him a weak smile. Yes, he might disrupt his life once he heard what Robert had told him but Louis knew that he owed him the truth. No more secrets. They were a team and Harry deserved the truth.

 

'No stay,' he whispered as he took Harry's hand in his and laced their fingers together. Louis brought their joined hands up to his lips and kissed Harry's knuckles. 'Stay.' Louis looked at Anthony.

 

'I attacked him because...because he threatened Harry,' he said quietly but in a steady voice. He felt Harry stiffen beside him.

 

'What?' Harry asked him, his voice trembling. Harry blinked at him not quite understanding what Louis had just said. Robert had threatened him? Why? Harry felt fear creep up his spine like icy cold fingers. Louis remained silent, giving Harry time to soak up this shocking revelation. Anthony rubbed his forehead because this was taking on an unexpected turn.

 

'What did he say Louis? How did he threaten Harry?' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled very slowly.

 

'He said that he has had me watched over the years. He still has me watched. He knows everything about me.' Louis paused and licked his lips while squeezing Harry's hand. He didn't know if it was to reassure himself or to reassure Harry. 'When Harry was with me at the prison, he...he never once asked who he was. All because he already knew. He was already informed that I have a partner. He simply wanted to know if Harry fucks me and how I like to be fucked.' Louis paused and swallowed hard, the tears once again falling from his eyes. Harry beside him was silently crying with him. Louis sniffed.

 

'He said that I owe him. I owe him for the kidney I took that night when I stabbed him with the screwdriver and I owe him for every single day that he spends in prison and I owe his friends too for ratting them out to the police. He said that they will collect and that I have to pay for all that I did and ...and,' Louis broke out into hiccuping sobs.

 

'And what Louis?' Anthony urged him on gently, nudging him as softly as he could, given the circumstances. Louis shook his head in desperation and wiped his eyes. Anthony huffed. 'Louis threats like these are not to be taken lightly. What else did he say?' Louis looked at Harry, a silent apology in his blue eyes, then looked at Anthony.

 

'He said that he will come for Harry too. That he would fuck him till he screamed.' Louis broke out into fits of hearty sobs that wrecked his body. Harry's free hand flew to his mouth in shock at the words Louis had just uttered. Again Harry felt the cold fingers of fear claw at him at the thought of that vile man doing things to him.

 

'Louis,' Anthony called softly but urgently. Louis' head snapped up, his eyes wet and wild. He looked around the room as if expecting his father to pounce on him.

 

'Oh God,' he cried out, his eyes impossibly wide and full of fear. 'Oh God he's coming for me. They are coming for me. I need to hide. He can't find me here. I need to go. I need....' Louis made to get up of the bed but Anthony stopped him, sitting him back down.

 

'Louis calm down,' Anthony told him but Louis was becoming frantic.

 

'He's going to find me and he's going to hurt me and he's going to hurt Harry too. Oh God oh God Harry, you need to leave,' Louis told him, turning his panicked yes on Harry. ' He pushed at his chest. 'You need to leave. You have to get out of here. Get away from me. You need to leave me Harry you have to....' Harry grabbed him by the top of his arms and shook him a little.

 

'Louis I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere,' Harry said as he tried to embrace him but Louis slapped his hands away.

 

'Are you fucking thick? You need to go. Now! You need to fucking leave and get the fuck away from me. He will find you and he will hurt you. Haven't you heard a fucking thing I said? He is coming for you. Get the fuck out of my house! Leave! Go!' Louis screamed in Harry's face. Anthony reached out to calm Louis down but Louis slapped his hands away too.

 

'Don't you fucking touch me!' he screamed, his voice loud, getting out of control. He pinned Anthony with a hard stare. 'He sent you didn't he? You're working for him aren't you and he sent you to hurt me!' He crawled away from Anthony who was a little shocked by Louis' outburst. Louis moved closer to Harry and grabbed at him frantically.

 

'Don't let him take me. Please don't let him take me! My father sent him. Call the police!' Harry stared at him too stunned to move or say anything.

 

'Louis honey that's Anthony your therapist,' Harry rasped but Louis grabbed his t-shirt in fist fulls, pulling himself closer to Harry, his wide terrified eyes on Anthony. He shook his head.

 

'No no no no no no.....he's....he's.....no he's here to get me to take me to him so he can hurt me. No no, stay the fuck away from me. Please Harry, send him away. He works for my father! Please. Stay away,' Louis screamed at Anthony in a frightened voice. Harry looked at Anthony helplessly. Anthony kept his calm. He had seen these types of behavior in one too many patients that had suffered violent traumas.

 

'He's having a psychological melt down. He's so frightened he's not recognizing reality from his imagination and he will spiral out of control,' Anthony told Harry. 'He's overwhelmed and his mind is overloaded and distorted by fear. He can't distinguish anything.'

 

'Louis honey,' Harry called out to him to try and calm him down but Louis shook his head vehemently. He pulled himself away from Harry suddenly and glared at him.

 

'You work for him too!' he screamed at him. Harry took hold of his hands but Louis pulled and tugged to free himself. 'Let me go! Don't touch me! Where is Harry? What have you done to Harry? Please don't hurt Harry. Harry!' he screamed out. 'Harry where are you? Oh God please don't hurt him. Harry!!!' He screamed out his name so loud that Harry winced. Louis began to tremble and cry. He looked at Harry with pleading eyes.

 

'Please don't hurt Harry. He didn't do anything. He's innocent. Please not Harry. Not Harry!' Harry was confused and he was crying.

 

'I'm here Louis. It's me baby. Its me. Look at me sweetheart. It's me. I'm here. I'm safe. You're safe. We're home.' But Louis just trashed and screamed. Harry looked at Anthony for help, desperation all over his confused features.

 

'Do something,' Harry begged him. 'Don't leave him like this. Please.' Anthony nodded.

 

'I already am Harry.' Harry saw him reach into his satchel by the chair and bring out a syringe filled with a clear liquid.

 

'Hold him down,' Anthony instructed. Harry looked at him in disbelief.

 

'Are you kidding me? I can't hold him down! He's afraid of being held down after all that he has been through,' Harry said trying to hold Louis who was struggling in his grasp and yelling and screaming out non-sensical things and accusations at Harry and Anthony.

 

'Harry listen to me,' Anthony told him urgently. 'If you don't hold him down, he's going to hurt himself or someone else. I need to give him this right now,' Anthony said motioning to the syringe he was holding.

 

'What's that?'

 

'Its a sedative,' Anthony replied. Harry hesitated. 'Harry trust me. It will help him. He needs to be calmed down and sedating him is the only way that I can get him to calm down immediately. Don't make me restrain him. He is a danger to himself and to those around him. His mind is confused and he can't make sense from what's real and what's not. Please Harry, help me help him. Hold him down for me.' Harry hesitated again not really wanting to hold Louis down but Louis was struggling and blubbering and screaming.

 

'I'm so sorry baby,' Harry whispered as he forced his strength on Louis by pushing him back on the mattress, lying him down flat on the bed and straddling his waist. He saw the shocked surprise flash in Louis' eyes. He watched his blue eyes grow wide and fear take over. Louis slapped at Harry's chest trying to push him off of him so Harry had no choice but to grab his one good hand and pin it above his head rendering him immobile.

 

'No!' Louis screamed as he wiggled beneath him. 'No! No! No!'

 

'I'm so so sorry,' Harry whispered. Harry had to bear witness at seeing Louis' face fill with horror at the realization that he was pinned down and Harry cried because he knew what Louis would be thinking.

 

'Get off me! Let me go! Let me go please please no no no,' Louis cried desperately as he bucked fiercely underneath Harry, trying to getaway.

 

'Lie still honey please baby,' Harry said through his tears. He could see that Louis was beyond terrorized and he hated it. He hated that he was causing him this fear, feeding his terror even more. Harry knew that Louis couldn't see him, that he was seeing his past but he was the one pinning him down. He was letting Louis down again. Twice in one day!

 

'Please don't hurt me. Let me go. I'll be good. I've been good please please please,' he begged, tears falling freely from his eyes and Harry cried harder.

 

'Anthony hurry!' Harry growled just as Louis violently bucked up nearly tossing him off of him.

 

'Harry!!!' Louis screamed out, filling the room with his shrill voice. For an instant Harry thought that Louis had recognized him but when he looked down at him, his eyes were screwed up tightly shut as if he didn't want to see the person above him that was holding him down.' Harry help me! Help me please please.'

 

Harry cried harder as Louis bucked relentlessly beneath him. 'I'm here baby,' he sobbed. 'I'm here sweetheart. It's me. It's me. I'm here. Anthony hurry.' Harry begged. Anthony was struggling with one hand to hold Louis' thigh steady but he was bucking up like a raging bull. He didn't want the syringe needle to break in Louis' flesh.

 

'Calm him,' Anthony ordered. Harry sniffed at his tears because he couldn't wipe them away and they were dripping off the end of his nose onto Louis' face. He leaned down, his chest flush to Louis, his face close to Louis' ear while trying his hardest not to put too much of his weight on him. Louis was breathless and sweating and tired. Harry kissed his face but Louis tried to get away, shaking his head away from Harry.

 

'Lie still baby, please it's me. I'm so sorry I have to hold you down. It's killing me so please honey lie still for just one second.' Harry tried kissing him again but Louis thrashed harder.

 

'Please don't hurt me,' Louis begged in a hoarse voice from all the screaming. He began sobbing, his chest rising and falling rapidly against Harry's and Harry could feel his ragged breaths and his heart thumping ferociously beneath him. He was losing the fight because his thrashing was becoming weaker. 'Please don't rape me again.' And Harry's heart broke into a million fragment. He kissed his forehead.

 

'You're safe my baby, you're safe. I would never hurt you. Never.' Louis gave a few more feeble attempts to get Harry off of him but they were weak. He looked vacantly at the ceiling as if giving up and allowing Harry to do with him whatever he pleased. Then, he totally relaxed and went pliant beneath Harry. His body seemed to deflate like a balloon when all the air inside it had been released. All the fight and resistance left his body and he lay still and limp.

 

'It's done,' Anthony said. Harry got off of him right away and Louis didn't move or even flinch. He remained there on his back, his eyes drifting closed.

 

'Please give us some privacy,' Harry whispered hoarsely. Anthony nodded, got up and left the room. The moment the door clicked shut, Harry gathered Louis in his arms and hugged him tightly to his chest. He was limp and fell easily into his arms.

 

'I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean to hold you down. I am so very sorry.' Louis just lay in his arms.

 

'Tired,' he whispered, his speech slurred from the sedative working through his blood stream. Harry lay him back down on the bed and quickly pulled the duvet off the bed, manuvering Louis to one side of the bed. When he had stripped the bed, he nestled Louis on the pillows,brushing the fringe off his eyes and got into bed behind him spooning him. Harry pulled him closer into his chest.

 

'I got you baby,' Harry whispered in his hair but Louis didn't hear him. He had already lost consciousness, pulled under by the heavy sedative Anthony had administered. Harry settled comfortably behind him, pulling Louis further into his chest and wrapping his arms around his waist, holding him tightly as if he would be snatched away from him by invisible hands. Louis just slept, well he wasn't exactly asleep. There was nothing natural about the way Louis was sleeping. It unnerved Harry greatly that he couldn't hear his usual soft huffs of breaths, occasionally broken by little grunts that he made in the back of his throat. He wasn't shifting or moving like he usually did, moulding himself to Harry's body or shifting to accommodate Harry's larger frame. No, he was lying there unconscious, knocked out cold by a strong sedative because as Anthony put it, Louis was having a psychological meltdown and Harry didn't understand what that meant. Was Louis having a nervous breakdown? Was he finally mentally collapsing?

 

Harry moved even closer to his man. He was afraid and worried and he felt awfully guilty for having aided in Louis meltdown by holding him down! He could not believe that he done it! What was he thinking? Louis had a great terror of being held down. It was like a phobia and he had held him down, pinned him to the bed. Harry felt the tears rim his already burning eyes.

 

'I'm so sorry,' he whispered, his voice thick and hoarse. 'I am so very very sorry I did to you what you are most afraid of but I had no choice baby. I hope you can forgive Louis. I never meant to hurt you I hope you know that. I would have never done that to you but I had to Lou. God please.' Louis didn't react or move or even make a sound. Louis wasn't a deep sleeper and here he was sleeping like the dead and Harry did not like it. He needed to talk to Anthony. He needed to know what happens next with Louis. He needed to know what he meant by psychological melt down! He needed Anthony to explain Louis' mental well being to him. Harry placed a kiss on the back of Louis'neck. His hair was damp where the sweat had gathered when he was struggling beneath Harry.

 

'I love you,' Harry whispered to him and kissed him again and again and again, still Louis didn't move. He crawled out of bed, making sure that Louis was well cocooned in the duvet. He closed the curtains and turned on the lampshade so should Louis wake up, he wouldn't be disoriented by the darkness, not that Harry meant to stay away too long. Just five minutes. That's all he had to spare Anthony. Five minutes. Not more. Harry walked back to the bed, looked down at Louis and ran the back of his hand down his cheek. He bent down and placed a kiss on his cheek.

 

'I'll be back in a jiffy honey,' he said, speaking softly as if afraid to wake him. Harry doubted a bomb would wake him! He reluctantly left the room, closing the door softly behind him. He trudged bare footed down the stairs, his legs heavy, his body tired and his head aching. He didn't feel like talking. He just wanted to get into bed with Louis but he knew that he could not miss talking to Anthony. He found Anthony in the living room having tea with Johanna. Harry walked in and flopped down on one of the couches.

 

'Harry!' Johanna exclaimed. 'How is he?'

 

'Knocked out,' Harry said, his eyes landing on Anthony and Anthony did not miss the tone of his voice that suggested he was a little upset with the way things had turned out and that he wasn't happy that Anthony had resorted to sedating Louis. Anthony put his cup and saucer down on the coffee table.

 

'Harry, I did not take the decision to give him a sedative lightly,' Anthony explained.

 

'It could've been avoided,' Harry said flatly. Anthony sighed heavily.

 

'Could it? He was out of control. He didn't even recognize us. He was hallucinating.....'

 

'He's scared!' Harry snapped at Anthony, his voice a little too loud. He swallowed but offered no apology. 'He's mentally stressed out. He's terrified. He's tired! What he had to go through.....' Harry paused and gulped. He looked down when he felt the tears prick his eyes.

 

'Harry,' Anthony said softly.

 

'No!'Harry said in a choked up voice. He raised his head and looked at Anthony with teary eyes. 'You had no right to make me hold him down. That was like the worst thing I could do to him. He won't forgive me.' Johanna placed her hand on his back.

 

'Sweetheart don't be so hard on yourself. Louis will forgive you,' she told him in a soothing voice.

 

'He will probably not remember,' Anthony added. 'He didn't recognize you.' Harry pinned him with a look.

 

'Louis remembers all the bad things. He remembers everything. His brain imprints all the bad things that happen to him and he will remember that I held him down. He will remember that I had promised him numerous times that I would never do that to him and I just did.' He choked back a sob. Johanna rubbed his back. Anthony leaned forward in his seat.

 

'Harry listen to me,' he told him in a calm steady voice. 'I know that you think you have betrayed him or broke a cardinal rule set between the two of you but I needed to sedate him. You saw how he spiraled quickly out of control. He is having a serious mental meltdown and once he wakes up, I honestly don't know how he will be. If he is still the same as he was, he will be dangerous to himself and those around him.'

 

'Louis is not dangerous,' Harry protested, all hell bent on protecting Louis.

 

'He is Harry. What if he wakes up during the night and in his fuddled mind thinks you are one of his father's friends and he stabs you? Or what if he can't live with this anymore and hurts himself while you are asleep? Louis is unstable. He has been exposed to his greatest fear and it didn't go well so I don't know the extent of the psychological damage he has endured.' Harry kept his eyes fixed on Anthony.

 

'What are you implying?' he asked, his voice dangerously low. Anthony licked his lips.

 

'There's no easy way to go about this Harry but if Louis shows signs of a mental breakdown I will have no choice but to hospitalize him....'

 

'No!' Harry cut him off. 'You will not put him in a mental hospital. He...he is not crazy come on Anthony. He's...he's just terrified. You know that. He's not crazy!' Harry ran a hand through his curls tugging at the roots. Johanna tired to calm him down but Harry was upset.

 

'Harry listen to me,' Anthony told him, using his therapist voice. 'If Louis is in anyway a danger to himself or to those around him, as his therapist it is my duty to see to his mental well being and let's face it,what we saw up there is very far from him being mentally stable. I fear that,' Anthony paused and Harry looked at him with wide bulging eyes.

 

'What?' he asked him, voice full of trepidation.

 

'I fear that maybe this was his last straw.' Harry shook his head and got up off the couch.

 

'No! Don't say that. He will be fine. He just needs to sleep. He will be fine.'Anthony stood up too.

 

'You are not fine either Harry.' Harry glared at him.

 

'What? You want to lock me up to in the nut house too? I won't let you do that to him,' Harry told him a little angrily. Anthony sighed.

 

'Harry I know you are upset but if we come to that decision, I'm afraid the decision won't be your's to make. He is not your husband so technically you have no right or say in it.' Harry glared at him even harder.

 

'Then who does?' Anthony looked at Johanna.

 

'His mother.' Harry looked at Johanna, then back at Anthony, then sat back down and clasped Johanna's hands tightly in his.

 

'You can't let them take him. You can't allow this Jay c'mon he's not crazy.' Johanna was crying softly.

 

'Harry I worry for him. When Anthony told me what he did....'

 

'He's just scared and tired. He's been through a lot and you guys want to lock him up? I won't let you! It will end him!'

 

'Sweetheart,' Jay tried to soothe him. 'If he is a danger.....'

 

'He's not!' Harry said panicked and scared they there were even considering locking Louis away. That they were even having this conversation about locking Louis away.

 

'He can get help honey,' Johanna tried again. Harry looked at her, his eyes pleading and tears falling on to his cheeks. He kissed her hands.

 

'Please don't let them take him away from me. He's strong. He will get through this please Jay don't let them. He's been through enough. All he needs is rest and peace. Please. Please.' Johanna kissed the top of his head.

 

'I only want the best for my son Harry. I want him well and healthy like you do and I feel partly to blame for all of this because I made him do it and he needed up like this so please try to understand.....' Harry let go of her hands and stood up.

 

'If you want what's best for him you will let him stay here where he belongs with me. Louis is not crazy and locking him away and pumping him full of sedatives and pills and drugs will only make him worse. He will stop being the Louis he is, the Louis we know. He will become a sedated drugged version of Louis. Give him a chance. He has fought for so long and made it through and he will fight through this as well. He is just mentally tired. Give him a chance. Please.' Johanna and Anthony exchanged a knowing look. Anthony cleared his throat.

 

'Let's see how he wakes up but Harry I want you to consider that should Johanna decide to let him get treatment outside of a facility, to at least have help in the house. Professional help. A person who is equipped in this field.' Harry looked up at him.

 

'Like a live in shrink?' Harry asked. He was mentally drained as well and just wanted to crawl in beside Louis and sleep.

 

'Something like that yes. Someone who will know how to handle Louis if he loses control and who also knows how to administer medication,' Anthony explained. Harry got up.

 

'I will talk about it with Louis when he wakes up and we'll think about it,' he said making sure to include Louis in the decision making because he knew that Louis wasn't crazy and he was just having a hard time dealing with things and that when he woke up he would be better. 'How...how long will that sedative last?'

 

'A few hours,' Anthony said. 'I am going back to my office to see a few patients and I will be back here before he wakes up.' Both Johanna and Harry nodded. Harry turned on his heels and headed back upstairs. He opened the door softly. The room was bathed in a soft dim yellow light from the lampshade. Louis was still sleeping. Harry pulled back the duvet and climbed into the bed. He wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and cuddled closer to him. He buried his face in the back of his neck and placed kitten kisses on his clammy skin.

 

'Please be alright,' he said quietly. 'Please wake up and be alright Lou. I don't want them to take you away. I promised I will fight for you and I will baby I won't let them take you away. Please please be fine. I'm here and I'm not leaving you sweetheart. We will do this together. Please Lou I'm scared. I don't know what to do and I'm so scared.' Harry closed his eyes and let the exhaustion pull him under.

 

 

X

 

 

Harry woke up groggy and disoriented. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the semi dark room and he was met with a pair of blue eyes that he loved so much staring at him tenderly.

 

'Lou,' he croaked out. His throat was dry and it burned. Louis reached out his good hand and ran his fingers through Harry's unruly curls. Harry let his eyes fall closed, relishing in the soothing touch.

 

'Hey,' Louis whispered as he continued playing with his curls. Harry opened his heavy lidded eyes again.

 

'You're awake,' he stated.

 

'Mhm.' Louis replied. Harry swallowed but his throat was too dry.

 

'How are you?' Harry asked him.

 

'I'm alright,' Louis said quietly. Harry placed his hand on Louis' waist and he met skin. His top had rolled up and Harry placed his hand on his warm skin, finding comfort in the contact.

 

'I'm so sorry,' he whispered.

 

'For what?' Louis whispered back. They were cuddled close together. Harry felt his chest ache, right where his heart was.

 

'For...for holding you down,' he said barely audible. 'I am truly sorry.' He felt Louis sigh against him.

 

'What happened Harry? I...I don't remember. What happened to me? All I remember is Anthony being here then waking up in bed with you,' he said. Harry shifted a little moving even closer to Louis and in a few words told him what had transpired earlier.

 

'And I had to...hold you down and I feel so sorry for everything. Even for leaving you alone at the prison. I failed you Louis I broke my promises to you twice today and for that I am very sorry,' Harry told him, his voice low and full of regret. Louis' hand left Harry's hair and cupped his cheek.

 

'You did no such thing Harry. You did not fail me Harry. You cannot fail me even if you tried. This is hard on you too. I am sorry I am putting you through so much.' They were silent for a beat.

 

'Lou?'

 

'Yeah love?'

 

'Are you alright? You gave me a proper scare and I'm worried.'

 

'About what?' Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled.

 

'I'm worried Anthony will take you away.' Louis placed a kiss on his lips, softly, delicate and tender.

 

'Nothing and no one will take me away from you. I haven't lost my wits Harry. I'm not crazy. I just lost my way a little.' Harry sighed in relief and wrapped his arm around Louis' neck, buried his face in his shoulder and pressed his body against his.

 

'I love you Louis. I love you so much. I don't want to lose you. Please Louis.' Louis cradled the back of Harry's head, his fingers carding through his curls, massaging his scalp.

 

'You won't ever lose me Harry. I'll get better. For you and for myself. I promise you baby.' Harry closed his eyes against the emotions he was feeling. He wanted to believe Louis and he did, he really did but what if he was mentally unwell like Anthony said? And what if Johanna agreed to send him away? And what if he for selfish reasons held them back from taking him away and Louis got worse? He realized that he literally had no say in Louis' life. He couldn't make choices or decisions for Louis because he had no right over him. Louis saw the dark pensive look on his face.

 

'What is it Harry?' he said quietly. They were cocooned together underneath the duvet, in their semi-lit bedroom. Harry swallowed and opened his eyes.

 

'If anything happens to you, as your partner, I...I have no right to decide for you Lou. You mother has that right. I...I am nothing where you are concerned.' Louis knew where Harry was going with this.

 

'Legally, no you don't. But I learned from this experience and I will fix it. I will talk to Walter about it. Should anything happen to me, I want you to make decisions for me when I am unable to as my partner. I will fix it.' Louis placed a kiss on his forehead. Harry leaned in closer and captured his lips in a deep kiss, pouring all his love into that singular kiss. When they pulled back, they rested their foreheads together and just breathed in each other.

 

The bedroom door creaked open. Harry turned his head and looked over his shoulder to see who it was but he could see no one at the door. The door was slightly ajar not fully open, bright light from the hallway spilling into their otherwise dim room. Before Harry could wonder who had opened their bedroom door, a heavy thump landed on the bed, followed by rapid breathing, a big furry head, a pink lolling tongue and a pair of brown concerned eyes.

 

'Byron!' Louis exclaimed. The dog whined in his throat and licked Louis' face as if he knew that Louis was not alright and that he was hurt. Louis scratched his head and Byron whined again. 'What is it buddy? Who let you in here hmm?' The dog lay on top of Louis, his paws on his chest, snout on his paws and the tip of his wet nose resting against Louis' nose. Louis stroked his floppy ears fondly.

 

'Hey buddy, so good to see you, I missed you.' Louis placed a kiss on Byron's wet nose and Byron was quick to cover Louis' face with licks. Louis giggled and turned his face towards Harry to avoid the wet tongue that was attacking his face. He was met by a pair of wet, green eyes looking at him fondly. Louis shifted a little and Byron found himself wedged between him and Harry.

 

'Please don't be sad,' Louis told him as his thumb caressed his cheekbone. 'We will be alright. Aren't we always? I am not crazy Harry.'

 

'That's what I told them,' Harry whispered. Louis swallowed.

 

'Everything just got a little too much. I just need some time that's all. I won't let them take me away. I promise you. Just if I....if I hurt you while...you know, maybe you should consider....'

 

'No!' Harry said right away. 'You won't hurt me I know it Louis.'

 

'But I lost control Harry. I just want to make sure that you are safe around me.'

 

'I am,' Harry was quick to reply. 'I am.' Louis closed his eyes. His head was swimming and he felt tired. 'Can we nap again? I'm so tired?'

 

'Same,' Harry agreed. Harry reached over Byron and took Louis' hand, lacing their fingers together, resting them on Byron's back. The dog sighed contendly, licked Louis' face, then licked Harry's face, closed his eyes and slept between them.

 

 

X

 

 

Leeds Prison, that same day.

 

 

Craig dabbed antiseptic on Robert's gaping wounds, making the man hiss. Craig knew that it burned but he had to cleanse the wounds. He looked at the two gaping holes.

 

'You need stitches,' he told Robert flatly. Robert huffed.

 

'That little prick left another mark on me.' Robert looked at Craig. 'And how do you know my dearly beloved son?' Craig got up from the stool and walked to a cupboard and began taking things out that he needed to stitch up Robert. He placed everything on a metal table on wheels. He kept his back to Robert as he took off his surgical gloves and washed his hands with sanitizer.

 

'I met him through Harry,' he said as he dried his hands on a paper towel and tossed it into the bin. Robert smirked.

 

'Oh yes his beautiful boyfriend. He looks...delightful. So soft and delicate. Hmm such a petal.' Craig put on a fresh pair of surgical gloves and wheeled the table over to Robert and sat back down on the stool. 'How did you meet Harry?' Robert asked when he realized that Craig had to be prodded to talk.

 

'I worked at the ER,' Craig said as he examined Robert's hand and gave him an injection to numb his hand. 'Harry came in, raped and beaten. By your son.' Robert licked his lips and smiled cheesily.

 

'Well well well looks like I taught my boy a thing or two after all,' he said smugly and almost proudly. Craig looked at him and raised a questioning eyebrow at him. 'Long story,' Robert said sheepishly.

 

'You have nothing but time,' Craig told him. 'What are you in here for?' Robert looked at him and narrowed his eyes at him.

 

'How do I know I can trust you?' Craig stopped working on his hand and looked up at Robert.

 

'Because your son is a son of a bitch who thinks that just because he is rich and powerful he can get away with everything and bribe people to get away with it and I am done with him.' Robert smirked again.

 

'Looks like he rubbed you the wrong way. He is definitely my boy. What did he do to you that got your panties all bundled up in bunch?' Craig sighed and began stitching up the wounds on Robert's hand.

 

'He ruined my chances with Harry.'

 

'Ah ha a scorned lover. Pretty boy chose my son over you hmm? Does pretty boy loved to be beaten and raped then?' Craig shook his head.

 

'No. I don't know. But he lied in court to defend your son. Louis probably threatened him or paid him because Harry is a good person and I know he lied to me when I confronted him. I ended up in this dump because of them. I was working in a very good hospital and they ruined everything. Now here I am working as a prison doctor stitching up the dredges of society,' Craig spat bitterly as he dug the needle in Robert's flesh and pulled. Robert seemed to be thinking .

 

'Don't be so sure about pretty Harry not liking to be tied up and beaten. Some people love to be forced and beaten, taken against their will. I know little baby boy Louis did.' Craig looked up at him curiously wondering what he meant. Robert gave him a sick smirk. 'If I learn to trust you and if you prove yourself to be valuable to me, perhaps I will tell you why I am in here. You on the other hand are not being honest with me. Your beef with my son isn't because you are pissed off that Harry chose him over handsome doctor you or because you ended up kicked out of your fancy ER. Your bitterness runs deeper. Doesn't it?' Craig swallowed.

 

'Yes. Its personal.'

 

'I knew it. How did my beautiful, rich, powerful son personally offend you Dr. Blake? Maybe in the future we can help each other get payback.' Craig stopped working and looked up at Robert.

 

'He had my brother imprisoned and awaiting trail. Your son used my brother. Did unspeakable things to my little brother and for that I will never forgive him and I won't rest until he gets what he deserves.' Robert looked at him intrigued.

 

'What did he do?' Craig was clearly getting angry.

 

'How can you not know? It was in the news! My brother, he kidnapped Harry to make Louis pay for what he did to him, for using him and hurting him and my brother,' Craig paused and swallowed hard, clearly emotional. 'My stupid brother, he loves your bastard son. He fell in love with him but Louis threw him away. He chose Harry over him.' Robert seemed to be thinking, then recognition passed over his features.

 

'Is your brother....'

 

'Yeah. Ryan. Ryan Rodriguez. Louis doesn't know he's my brother. We have the same mother but different fathers. Ryan has a signed NDA with that bastard so he can't talk but he told me everything. He told me what Louis did to him for years and then dropped him like trash for Harry. That son of a bitch will pay for what he has done to me and my brother. If its the last thing I do, I will see him imprisoned and Harry punished.' Robert laughed. A gleeful laugh. A maniac laugh, his eyes wide and wild.

 

'Well isn't the world a very small shit hole! I think you and I are going to be very good friends Doc. One common enemy. One single goal. Revenge!'

 

 

x

 

 

A week and a half later, Louis was recovering nicely. He had agreed on getting regular therapy on alternate days just to prove that he was not crazy and ease some of Harry's fear of him being taken away and locked up. Anthony had increased his dosage of his medications but the nightmares still tormented him. He woke up screaming, drenched in sweat and a few times in his own piss, terrified out of his mind. Harry was always there to wrap him in his arms, reminding him where he was, make him feel safe and gently ease him out of his nightmare. Harry was there to draw him hot baths, clean clothes, change the sheets, wipe down the mattress and help him go back to sleep. It was taking a toll on both of them. They were both sleep deprived and exhausted. Harry had eventually asked Louis if he could have tutors as he was sure that he was going to fail second year if he didn't since he was missing so many classes. Louis had agreed right away.

 

Louis had stayed home because he had not been cleared to return back to work by Anthony or by Dr. Talbot. His wrist wasn't fully healed so worked from there, while Harry had tutors over to tutor him. They fell into a daily routine of work and naps and tutoring, lunches, dinner, couch cuddles and tea dates. It was all working out. Louis was getting better and Harry was working towards his graduation the following year.

 

Johanna had returned to Richmond once she was convinced that Louis was on the way to recovery. Harry told her not to worry, that he was in good hands and she only agreed to leave on the condition that Harry would call her every evening with Louis' progress. Louis' sisters and brother all dropped by occasionally to visit with them. On the whole, the house was never quite empty and they were seldom alone but they wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Today they were sat in the living room waiting for Walter to arrive. They had much to go over regarding the hearing with Ryan and all that had transpired at the prison regarding Robert. Louis sat on the couch deep in thought and a little distant. Harry really didn't want to rehash anything of all that had happened with Ryan or with Robert but they were pending cases that needed closure and the sooner they closed them, the quicker they could move on from them. Harry lifted his head out of his history book and looked at Louis.

 

'Are you alright love?' Harry asked him. Louis shook himself out of his stupor and looked at Harry, giving him a small smile.

 

'I'm alright,' he said quietly. Harry closed the book and put it on the coffee table along with his notepad and pen. He moved closer to Louis and kissed his cheek.

 

'Care to give me a little lovin?' Harry asked him, nudging Louis' cheek with his nose as he ran his fingers up and down Louis' thigh a little seductively. He placed a kiss on his jaw. 'I miss you.' Louis felt a pang of pain stab his heart. Ever since the prison incident, he had stopped all sexual relations with Harry. A few nights after the incident, Harry had initiated things and Louis had had a severe anxiety attack. He had screamed at Harry not to touch him, he had left their bedroom and slept in one of the guestrooms. He couldn't do it. He couldn't even get hard! Each touch Harry placed on his body was his father's! Harry had understood of course because Harry was good and amazing and he always understood but as the days went by, Louis knew that he was depriving Harry of his touch and of his body. Louis was sure that Harry didn't mind and that he understood why he couldn't function sexually but Louis also knew that Harry missed being touched and physically loved. Harry missed and needed intimacy. He had not failed to notice Harry's hard ons which he tried to hide by wearing longer t-shirts over his sweatpants to hide his erections and taking much longer in the shower than usual. Louis cleared his throat.

 

'Harry I....' Harry immediately moved away from Louis when he felt him tense up, realizing his mistake.

 

'I'm sorry,' he mumbled, his cheeks heating up. How could he be so stupid? How could he try and seduce Louis when Louis had told him that he couldn't do this now? Louis took his hand.

 

'Don't be sorry Harry. You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry.' Harry shook his head, not daring to look at Louis. He felt embarrassed.

 

'I should be more sensitive to you. I...I forget myself sometimes. I must remember. I'm so sorry.' Louis leaned over and cupped his flaming hot cheek in the palm of his hand, turning his face towards him so that their eyes met.

 

'I just need some time please. That's all I ask. Every time we try...I see him. I hear him asking you if you fuck me and how I like it. I hear his words over and over again Harry. I feel him touching me and I hate it. I hate that when we are intimate I....' Louis stopped and swallowed hard.

 

'It's alright Lou,' Harry told him softly when he saw his blue eyes fill with tears. Louis sniffed trying to hold back his tears.

 

'He...he said something to me Harry, something that I didn't discuss with Anthony.' Louis paused and kept looking into Harry's eyes seeking refuge and consolance.

 

'What did he say?' Harry asked him because the way Louis was looking at him he knew that it must be something painful. Louis bit his lower lip, released it and swallowed again.

 

'He asked me if...if I'm still his. He asked me if I let you fuck me or if he's ever been the only one to do it,' Louis said his voice trembling.

 

'Oh God,' Harry whispered as he enveloped Louis into a hug. He could feel Louis trembling in his arms as he buried his face in the crook between his neck and shoulder. 'I'm so sorry Lou. He's an animal.'

 

'That's why I....I can't function yet. For a while I wanted to ask you to...to...' he paused. Harry hugged him tighter.

 

'To what?' Louis clutched Harry's t-shirt tightly, tugging him closer.

 

'I wanted to ask you to fuck me just to prove to myself that no, he wasn't the only one, even though we have already done it before but I wanted to do it again and again just so I could render his words meaningless. But then I realized that it wouldn't be fair for you and that I wasn't ready to be touched that way Harry so please forgive me if I am not intimate with you just yet. I know you need it and I know you...you have been doing it to yourself and its not fair....'

 

'Shh shh shh,' Harry shushed him. 'It's alright. It's alright. Sex is not everything Louis. I am sorry if I get needy and I give you the wrong impression. I just love you so much and I miss us being close but its alright. Don't ever feel pressured about it.' Harry pulled back and kissed him softly. 'I'd rather have our souls, hearts and minds joined then our bodies. Those bonds run deeper and stronger than body pleasure.' Louis gave him a weak smile.

 

'Thank you for understanding,' he whispered against Harry's lips then kissed him lightly. Harry leaned in for more. He wanted more. Needed more but he had to understand Louis. Louis pulled back and placed a kiss on his forehead. The moment was intimate, a silent need and understanding between them. Louis squeezed his hand then raised it to his lips and kissed his palm.

 

'I love you Harry,' he said quietly and Harry did not doubt him. He never doubted Louis not even in the early days when he had done horrible things to him and broken his heart. He had never doubted him or gave up on him and he would never do that. Harry placed a chaste kiss on his lips, ignoring his throbbing dick. He will see to that later, hopefully when Louis was not in the bedroom so he wouldn't feel bad about not being able to pleasure him.

 

'And I you,' he whispered. They were interrupted by David who entered the room announcing the arrival of Walter.

 

'Louis, Harry,' Walter greeted them as he sauntered into the room, his big personality taking up space along with his expensive suit and waft of expensive cologne. He sat down in the arm chair across from them. Louis and Harry sat close together holding hands. 'How are you both feeling?' he asked them. Louis offered him a small smile.

 

'We are getting better thank you Walt.' Walter nodded as Julie came in carrying a tray and served them tea and coffee. When she was gone, Walter picked up his coffee cup and relaxed back in the plush leather armchair.

 

'I bring you news. Some good, some not so good. Which do you want first?' Both Louis and Harry shrugged. Walter took a sip of his coffee.

 

'Alright then, lets start with the not so good news. I have been down to Leeds Prison and I had a long talk with the Warden. Over the course of your father's imprisonment, he has never had visitors. I checked the visitor's log myself dated back years. The only visitors he had were lawyers that he had over the course of the years of his imprisonment. They are state lawyers as he can't afford a good lawyer. He has no income and no money in the bank. I have filed a report and these lawyers are being investigated by Scotland Yard to see if they are corrupt and might be working for your father. Also, Scotland Yard have taken it upon themselves to check if you are indeed being watched and you are. They have arrested four men. Upon further investigation, these four men are related to friends of your father.The same friends that have assaulted you as a child. We further investigated and these four men have paid visits to their relatives in Leeds Prison which we think is how your father is giving his orders to people on the outside to have you monitored and have them report back to him what they learn about you through his friends.' Walter paused and took another sip of his coffee. Louis shuddered and Harry was quick to wrap his arm around his shoulders and pull him closer.

 

'We are also having the guard that left you alone with your father investigated. He could also be the one carrying out orders for your father on the outside. All visitation rights have been stopped. These inmate friends of your father's will no longer be allowed visitors. We will stop all contact that way we can minimize the risks of your father passing on directives. However, Scotland Yard will investigate further to see that you and your family are safe. The guard has been fired and sentenced to three years imprisonment so he will not be able to work for your father on the outside either. His visitors will be monitored so we make sure that your father is not working through the guard's visitors. All charges against you on the attack on your father are non-existent. There hasn't even been are report filed. Also the Warden thanks you for your generous donation to the prison. However, your father has not signed your papers and I doubt he would. I personally think that it was never his intention to sign them. He just wanted to see you.'

 

'What's the good news?' Louis asked. Walter smiled.

 

'The good news is that I spoke with Mr. Rodrigez's lawyer. The hearing is coming up and they wanted to plea insanity but upon psychic evaluation ordered by the court, Mr. Rodriguez has been certified as mentally fit and healthy to stand trail. The evidence we have is more than enough to convict him and I am pretty sure that if we use the video....'

 

'No,' Louis cut him off. Harry looked from Louis to Walter confused.

 

'Video?' he asked. Walter raised an eyebrow at Louis realizing that Louis had not mentioned their talk back to when Ryan had kidnapped Harry. Louis sighed.

 

'Harry,' he said slowly, 'shortly after you were kidnapped, Walter called me asking if we were going to charge Ryan with sexual abuse and he told me that he wanted to use the video of...of....'

 

'Ryan touching me,' Harry whispered.

 

'Yes,' Louis affirmed. 'I told him no. I told him that you wouldn't want to be exposed that way again after what happened at my raping you hearing. I know what all that exposure did to you and I am sorry if I made the decision for you by myself but I was only protecting you. If you want to....' Harry leaned over and kissed him hard on the lips.

 

'Thank you,' he said against his lips as Louis looked at him surprised. 'It would kill me if that video ever saw the light of day. I didn't even know you still had it.' Louis let out a breath of relief. Walter cleared his throat.

 

'So I take it the video is out of the question then?' he asked. Louis looked at Harry making sure that he was sure. Harry nodded.

 

'Definitely,' Louis affirmed. Walter nodded.

 

'Alright. Anyway, Mr. Rodriguez's lawyer informed me that his client will be pleading guilty on all charges. That will avoid a trail. However, Mr. Rodriguez pleading guilty will earn him points with the judge. He will be eligible for parole in ten years. On good behavior maybe in eight year's time.' Louis looked at him with wide eyes.

 

'So whatever the sentence, he won't get to do it all?'

 

'Afraid not. Pleading guilty and saving the state's time and resources earns you bonus points,' Walter said.

 

'That's fucking insane,' Louis said. 'After what he did to Harry, he will get to do eight, ten years max, apply for parole and they consider his good behavior and prisoner behavior and if he's been a role model prisoner, he gets out on bail? And live his life? What about the trauma he caused Harry?' Walter put the empty cup on the coffee table.

 

'The justice system is fucked Louis. Sometimes the victim suffers more that the aggressor. I am going to fight for a long sentence and try to get this parole shit denied for as long as possible but it will happen and if he will be on his best behavior it will happen sooner.'

 

'Guess then we will have to fuck up his good behavior don't we?' Louis said. Harry turned in his seat and looked at Louis.

 

'Louis no,' he said. Louis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

 

'What?' Harry licked his lips.

 

'We have to let all of this go Louis. We can't keep making people pay for what they did and we get lost in the process. Too much pain, too much suffering. Please, let's just let it all go. Everyone is paying for what they did and you and I are paying a harsh price also. Just keep your father in prison. That should be your main concern. If Ryan makes bail in eight, ten years time, then we will deal with then. We will cross those bridges when we get to them.' Harry looked down and chewed on his bottom lip then looked up at Louis from beneath his lashes. 'He did what he did to me because he loves you.'

 

'Are you fucking kidding me Harry? He kidnapped you and beat the living shit out of you. He touched you against your will!' Louis said a little angrily.

 

'I know Louis. I was there. I suffered it but I let it go. I can't keep holding on to that suffering and to that anger. It will only hurt me. And destroy me and take away my happiness. We all do crazy things Lou.'

 

'He could've killed you Harry!' Louis growled.

 

'But he didn't! I'm here. I survived. WE survived! We can't keep hanging on to grudges and pay backs and revenge. It will just hurt us in the process Lou. And we already have enough on our plate with what your father is putting us through. Let Walter go fight for us and we'll see what happens then we forget about Ryan. Please?' Louis looked at Harry in disbelief.

 

'Harry, I want him to pay for what he did to you,' Louis said sounding exasperated. Harry cupped his cheek, loving the feel of his stubble under his fingers.

 

'And he will. But we need peace Louis. We need to let go and move on from all of this. So much pain and anger has happened to us. We cannot live in fear and hatred and anger towards those who have hurt us and wronged us. We have each other Lou. We have your family. Life is to be lived in peace. Let karma do the work for us hmm?' Harry gave him a little hopeful smile. He knew how Louis was, always wanting to pay tenfold to those that hurt him or went up against him or screwed him over. Louis kept looking at Harry as if he could not understand the words he was saying.

 

'He has a point,' Walter said. Louis blinked and looked at Walter.

 

'You agree to this?' Louis snapped. Walter leaned forward in his chair.

 

'Let me do my job Louis. Justice will serve you. And it will serve all those who did you wrong. Harry is right. Don't let them take away anymore from you. You have this beautiful lad here who would do anything for you to see you happy. Let him. You have an amazing family who adore you. Let them. Stop letting people who wronged you keep taking away from the beautiful life that you have. Enjoy your life Louis. Let go.' Louis looked at the both of them with wide eyes then sagged a little.

 

'Guess you are both right. If I want things to change guess I should be the change I wish to see.' He looked at Harry. 'Thank you. You are amazing you know that?' He leaned forward and pecked his lips, Harry smiled into the kiss. Then Louis turned at Walter. 'Thank you Walt for everything. Fight for us in the courtroom. Get him what he deserves.' Walter stood up.

 

'Yes boss. Take it easy you two. I'll call when I know.' Walter walked out, leaving the two of them alone.

 

'Are you alright?' Harry asked him as little bit wary and worried that he might over stepped. Louis smiled a little.

 

'Yeah. Yeah I think I'm alright. How do you do it?'

 

'Do what?' Harry asked him, a smile playing on his lips.

 

'Own me,' Louis said. 'How do you own me like this?' Harry felt his insides melt.

 

'I don't own you. I love you. I am in love with you and I want what's best for you. For us. I believe in kindness and peace and you deserve both. You are not the people that hurt you and you have to stop letting them keep taking away from you.' Louis was about to kiss him, his lips inches away from Harry's when David interrupted them again announcing that Anthony had arrived as had Harry's tutor. Louis rolled his eyes and huffed. Harry kissed his pouting lips.

 

'Will you be alright with Anthony on your own? I'm sorry I can't sit with you today. Our appointments collided.' Louis squeezed his thigh.

 

'I'll be fine. Go get that degree. And I'll try my best to heal myself.' They gave each other another kiss and Harry left for the study to continue with his tutoring, while Louis settled comfortably in his seat, sipping at his luke warm tea, readying himself for another long session with Anthony.

 

 

X

 

 

Two hours later, Louis trudged up the stairs to their bedroom. He felt tired and wanted to fall into bed with Harry, cuddle and sleep. Harry had finished his tutoring session half an hour ago. It had been along session with Anthony but Louis felt that he had made progress. He knew that he had a long way to go to fully healing and recovery but in between what Walter had told him earlier and what Anthony kept drumming into him about not letting those that hurt him take more away from him, he knew that he could not give up more of his life to the people that hurt him. He was living in the now and Harry loved him and he loved Harry and he had to stop letting people take away from him which in result, ended up in him taking away from Harry, which was not right. Harry shouldn't have to suffer for the misdeeds of others as he himself should not suffer them anymore.

 

He pushed open the bedroom door and was pleased to see that Harry had readied their bedroom for sleep; the curtains were drawn closed shut, the lampshades were on, throwing the room into a soft yellow glow, the duvet was pulled back, the pillows propped up. Harry's book was on the bedside table, along with his watch and rings. Louis could hear the shower in their bathroom. He hadn't touched Harry in a week and a half and he hadn't allowed Harry to touch him in as long. He craved his touch. He craved to touch him, to taste his skin. He craved to hear Harry's soft moans as he moved in and out of him. He should never let his father have this so much power over him as to deprave them of each other. It was time to put a stop to it.

 

He opened the bathroom door quietly and was immediately encompassed in warm steam and the smell of lavender and citrus. He inhaled and it was all Harry. All Harry's fruity and flowery smells and why had Louis been so stupid as to allow his father to take away from them something as precious as their intimacy and their love making?

 

Louis squinted through the fragrant steam and he could make out Harry in the shower through the steamed glass, his arm out stretched resting against the shower wall and he leaning into it, the water cascading over his head and shoulders, down his back and the back of his thighs. His other hand was wrapped around his dick. He was pumping himself furiously, bucking his hips into his closed fist. He was making frustrated sounds as if that wasn't enough, as if he needed more. As if he needed Louis! And Louis would not deny him his touch anymore. He wouldn't punish Harry for the sins of his father.

 

'Harry stop!' Louis told him, his voice gentle yet with that timbre of authority to it that Harry knew so well. Harry raised his head, not having expected Louis to be in the bathroom with him. He let go of his dick that stood erect and painfully hard.

 

'Louis,' Harry whispered. Louis looked at him through the steamed glass.

 

'Don't touch yourself,' he ordered and Harry hung his head between his shoulders because how could Louis tell him not to touch himself when he would not touch him? Louis removed the sling and unwrapped the bandage from his wrist. Then slowly and carefully he took off his clothes. He slid open the shower door and got in behind Harry. The hot water was a blessing over his tensed muscles. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and moved in closer to him till his semi hard dick was nestled into Harry's crack. He placed kisses on Harry's back, his shoulder blades, down his spine. His hands where flat against Harry's stomach and he moved them up his toned chest as he continued to kiss his back. His thumbs brushed ever so softly over Harry's ever perky nipples. Harry moaned in the back of his throat.

 

'Lou,' he moaned. 'Y-you d-don't have to........' Louis ran his thumbs over the perky nubs again.

 

'No I don't have to but I want to Harry. I really want to baby. I'm so sorry I neglected you by letting my father get in my head.' He placed more kisses up and down Harry's back. His thumbs teasing his nipples, making Harry moan sinfully. Harry slowly turned in his arms till he was face to face with Louis. Louis pulled him closer, both their hard cocks brushing together. The sensation was exquisite to both. They were sex deprived and longed to touch and be touched.

 

'Are you sure?' Harry asked him, his breathing heavy.

 

'Sure,' Louis told him as he pressed his mouth to Harry's and claimed him. He pushed his tongue into Harry's mouth and kissed him hungrily trying to make up for lost time. Harry kissed him back equally fiercely as he pushed him back till Louis' back was resting against the wet tiles of the shower. Harry bucked his hips up into Louis, rubbing their cocks together.

 

'God this feels so good,' Louis whined as Harry thrust forward again.Louis' hands found their way down to Harry's bum and his short fingernails dug into his plump flesh pulling him closer. They began rutting hard against each other, their mouths hanging open hovering over each other, panting breaths mixed with the steam from the shower. Harry was grunting softly, moans of pleasure leaving his lips, straight into Louis' mouth.

 

'G-gonna cum....like.....this,' Harry grunted into Louis' mouth as he rutted harder against Louis. Louis dug his fingers harder into the flesh of his bum.

 

'Ye-yes please....H-Harry...I-I n-need....I w-want.....harder baby please....harder. Oh God Harry please faster,' Louis panted because the feeling was incredible. They were sliding against each other and the feeling and pressure of Harry rutting so hard against him through his desperate need was driving Louis crazy. Harry obliged and rutted harder and faster against Louis' dick till with a loud cry of Louis'name he came hard, shooting his load all over Louis' dick and chest.When Louis felt him release himself and his body tremble with the force of his orgasm that had been denied to him for days, he came too, still pulling Harry closer as he rutted against Harry's softening dick until he emptied his load.

 

They both remained tangled together, breathing heavily as they came down from their orgasms. Harry leaned in and captured Louis' lips in a gentle tender kiss and Louis kissed him back with all the love he could feel in every cell, every nerve and every bone in his body.

 

'I love you Harry,' Louis whispered as he placed kisses all over his face.

 

'And I you,' Harry replied, still a little breathless. 'I love you so much.' When they had regained a little control of their bodies, they washed each other clean, towel dried then fell naked into their bed, on their fresh crisp sheets, curled up together under the warm duvet and drifted off into blissful sleep.

 

 

X

 

 

Robert sat in the cafeteria table surrounded by his usual partners in crimes and men that he had allowed to abuse his son : Alan, Jason, Chris, Brian, Frankie, George and the new ex-guard Curtis. Robert was fidgeting, his breakfast long forgotten. Curtis leaned over the table closer to Robert.

 

'I'm telling you Bob, last I heard before I got in here was that they were all picked up,' he whispered. He paused and looked around, making sure no eyes were on them. 'All visits to you inmates have been declined.' Robert gave him a cold hard glare.

 

'First of all Cur-tis, you are now an inmate just like the rest of us so don't make distinctions between us and you. You are in here just like us. And second of all, visitations are our human basic rights. They cannot take that right away. We are allowed visitors just like everyone else.'

 

'Bob, if they ratted to Scotland Yard.....'

 

'Those boys will never say a word if they know what's good for them. They got nuthin on us Curtis. All they have is speculations,' Robert hissed at him.

 

'Yes they do have sumthin on us Rob-ert! They have your son and his bad ass lawyer. And let me tell you man, we are looking at an additional few years on top of our time. That lawyer is a viper man! I'm tellin you, he's Satan reincarnated. And your son is no better.' Robert banged his fist on the table in anger and frustration.

 

'That son of a whore!' he spat angrily. 'I should've strangled him the first time I fucked him raw. I should've choked the life of that little weasel. I could never stand him. He was his mother's pride and joy. Prissy little genius that he was. Fucker! God I hated that boy and I detest the man that he has become. I will do anything to pay him back for the life he stole from me. For opening his big fucking mouth.....'

 

'That he stole from us,' Jason corrected him. 'Last time I checked we were in this together.' Robert waved his hand dismissively at Jason.

 

'Yeah yeah whatever Jay.We need a new plan!' Robert rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Brian leaned in closer.

 

'If our people on the outside have been caught and visitations rights have been withheld, we have no way of getting information on the outside.'

 

'How are we going to keep an eye on him?' Frankie asked.

 

'Fuck let me think!' Robert snapped at them. 'Shut the fuck up and let me fucking think.' He hesitated for a minute, his eyes darting from one to the other as if expecting some idea to pop up out of thin air. And it did. He smirked at them.

 

'I got it,' he whispered as he licked his lips, a smug smile on his face. 'I know who can be our outside informant. On my count to three, start yelling heart attack and cause as much chaos as you can. I need to get to the infirmary.' Robert winked at them as he prepared for his performance of a life time.

 

COMING (HOPEFULLY SOON) CHAPTER 37......DON'T MISS OUT ON THE LOVE, FLUFF, SMUT AND CUTENESS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER :)


	37. Pursuing Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS HERE I AM AT LONG LAST. FIRST OFF THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR ALL THE READS. I ONLY NOTICED NOW THAT ADSOL HAS HIT OVER 70K READS ON WATTPAD AND OVER 18K! LIKE WTF? I KEPT STARING AT THE NUMBERS TO MAKE SURE ITS RIGHT LOL SO THANK YOU HEAPS. ALSO I AM SORRY I TOOK SO LONG. RIGHT NOW MY LIFE IS A JUMBLED MESS. STILL WAITING FOR THE HOSPITAL WITH A DATE FOR MY MUM'S OPERATION. IM SO ANXIOUS ABOUT IT BUT I AM TRYING TO KEEP CALM AND STEADY. HOWEVER, I HAVE WRITTEN A VERY VERY VERY LONG CHAPTER FOR YOU. AND....THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO ALL OF YOU BECAUSE YOU DESERVE A HAPPY FLUFFY CHAPTER. YOU HAVE STUCK WITH ME THROUGH ALL THE HEARTACHE AND PAIN THROUGHOUT THIS FIC SO THIS ONE IS FOR YOU GUYS BECAUSE YOU DESERVE A CHAPTER LIKE THIS. I HAVE MADE YOU CRY AND CURSE A LOT SO I DO HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AND IT WILL BE WORTH YOUR WAIT. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE CONTACTED ME, FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER AND JOINED MY LARRY LIBRARY GROUP ON FACEBOOK. THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME AND YOUR WONDERFUL ENCOURAGING WORDS AND PATIENCE. I'LL BE OFF THEN AND LET YOU ENJOY YOUR CHAPTER. ALL THE LOVE, M.

Pursuing Happiness.

 

 

Harry followed Louis like a lost puppy, from their bedroom to their bathroom, from their bathroom to their dressing room and back into their bedroom, sulking and pouting, the deep frown creases between his eyes pulling his eyebrows together as Louis got ready for work. Louis stopped in front of the full length mirror to put on his tie and Harry stood behind him. Louis smiled at him through the mirror. Harry really did look like a lost fluffy puppy! His hair was growing out and his curls where flying in every direction, his green eyes pleading and lips pouting.

'Harry,' Louis said fondly, 'no amount of pouting, scowling or frowning on your behalf will make me change my mind. I AM going to work TODAY. End of,' he said, putting a stern emphasis on the words work and today. Harry pouted harder, his lips jutting out and Louis fonded harder.

'It's still not time for you to go back to work. You need to rest,' Harry argued.

'It's been three weeks baby,' Louis told him calmly trying to reason with him.

'Exactly!' Harry countered. 'Too early. You need more time. ' Louis sighed. He was highly endeared by his boyfriend.

'I've taken enough time off already sweetheart,' he reasoned with him as he put on his cuff links. 'I'm better now.' Louis pecked his lips as he walked past him and entered the bathroom.

'But your wrist,' Harry pointed out as he followed him into the bathroom. Louis chuckled because his baby was being awfully cute.

'My wrist is well healed Harry you know that. I have been cleared and declared fit for work mentally and physically so your point here is mute.' He pecked his pouting lips again as he walked back into the bedroom, Harry right on his heels.

'But Louis,' Harry whined.

'No buts Harry. I have to go to work,' Louis told him.

'Louis!!!' Harry whined, his pout and frown growing deeper. Louis turned away from the mirror, kissed his lips again and walked into the dressing room to choose a pair of shoes. Harry followed him.

'Stop pouting unless you want me to punish you,' Louis warned him playfully as he sat down in the chair to put on his socks and shoes. Harry kneeled beside him and looked up at him, looking ever like the good submissive that he was even though he was not doing it on purpose,but then again, Harry was a natural sub.

'Will punishing me make you stay here with me?' Harry asked him hopefully.Louis grinned at him.

'Nope,'he said popping the P and placing another kiss on his boy's pouting lips. 'But if you don't stop this attitude right now, I will punish you later and I won't go easy on you because you are being a right little shit,' Louis told him in a deep husky voice laced with lust and need. Harry felt Louis' words travel down his spine straight to his groin. Harry looked up at Louis from beneath lowered lashes and batted them at him.

'Sir, I misbehaved. I deserve to be punished,' Harry whispered seductively and Louis felt on the edge of losing his control, not bothering with work but pull Harry across his lap and give him a right good spanking which will prohibit him from sitting down for a few days but if he entertained that idea for any longer, he was going to be late for work. Louis tried to give him a stern look but he ended up caressing his cheek.

'I'll deal with you when I get back from work,' he told him as he got up and went to retrieve his watch off the dresser. Harry sat back on his heels and huffed. Louis looked at him sitting there on his heels,head down, shoulders slumped. He understood that Harry was worried about him but life had to go on. Louis let him sit there for a bit and when he was done dressing himself, he walked back to the chair and sat down again. He ran his hand lovingly over his curls.

'Harry look at me,' Louis ordered gently. Harry raised his head and a pair of sad green eyes met Louis' amused blue eyes. He was smiling at him,his eyes crinkling at the sides and Harry wanted to hug him and not let him go. 'Sweetheart I want to go back to work. I have to go back and I want our lives to go back to normal as possible considering the circumstances. It's the beginning of March. The beginning of Spring.It's a time for new beginnings hmm. It's also a very busy time for my company. New deals are made, new contracts are drawn.It's the end of our financial year so we need to do the accounts.There are contracts to be renewed, meetings to attend to and I need to be present. March is the time for a reboot in my company and I have to be there to over see everything. This morning I have a meeting up North.' Harry's eyes went wide in surprise.

'You're travelling?' he asked him not able to hide the disappointment in his tone. 'How long will you be gone for?' Louis smiled at him and looked at his watch.

'Well it all depends on you. If you let me leave within the next ten minutes, I have my jet waiting for me and I can be on my way so I can come back sooner. This meeting shouldn't take me more than an hour so I figure I should be back by lunchtime. And, if you be good to me and let me go to work, you can meet me at my office round one in the afternoon and we can have lunch together.' Louis caressed his curls and Harry almost purred into the touch. 'I will tell Lynn to pencil you in as my very very very important lunch meeting. What do you say hmm?' Louis saw the sparkle in Harry's eyes and the corners of his lips tug up into a small smile.

'I'd like that,' Harry said softly.

'And,' Louis said as he continued to caress his curls and placed a kiss on his lips, 'since you are on spring break and since you worked so hard on your exams, I wanted to ask you if you would like to accompany me on a business trip to Japan next week. We'll be there for a couple of days.' Harry's eyes went wider.

'Really?' he squeaked full of excitement. 'You want to take me to Japan with you? Oh my God Lou!' Louis smiled at his boy's enthusiasm.

'Yes I would like that very much. I will have meetings so you might have some periods of time alone and it might get a little tedious for you but I will promise to not take more time than necessary and show you around the city and if you say yes I will be completely at your disposal in my free time.' Harry threw himself at Louis, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

'Yes! Yes!' Harry said into his neck, the smell of Louis' cologne invading his senses. 'Thank you Louis. I'd love that so much.' Louis chuckled and hugged him closer to his chest.

'You're welcome sweetheart. Now I really have to go if I am to make it back by our lunch date. Relax yeah. Pamper yourself. Read your books. Have tea. You can also start thinking about gardening. The ground will be thawing soon. See what you would like to plant and next time I have some time off we can go seed shopping. What do you say honey?' Harry smiled up at him in the most adoring way.

'Okay I will.' Louis leaned in and captured his lips in a gentle kiss.

'I'll text you when I'm on my way back down here just in case there are any delays with my flight. I'll see you at my office for lunch then.'Louis got up and pulled Harry up with him who still clung to him like a koala.

'I love you Louis, ' Harry said. Louis smiled happily and kissed him again.

'I love you too my little darling. I'll see you later.' Louis left the room reluctantly and didn't look back because he knew that if he did,he would never leave Harry's side. He was half a heart without Harry!

He walked downstairs and was greeted by Leonard who informed him that the jet was waiting for him and that he had taken the liberty of asking the crew to prepare breakfast for him since he would not have time to have it at home. Louis nodded as Leonard spoke and thanked him for his work.

Louis stepped outside into the early morning and the weather was grey and freezing cold. For March it was icy and he had been wrong in assuming that Spring was on the way and that the ground would soon thaw and Harry could plant his flowers. The ground was still frozen solid.Apparently, Winter was not yet ready to leave and make way for Spring!

Two security details waited for him beside his car. Cal and Riley. Louis wasn't taking any chances and he had hired more security detail for him and Harry personally and more around the house, his work and Harry's Uni. Louis had managed to convince the Dean to allow him to plant security detail inside the University to protect Harry and when the Dean had protested, Louis had politely pointed out to the Dean that Harry had been kidnapped, beaten and threatened inside that very same building and that he could've sued the University but he had not. The Dean did not have much choice in the matter and allowed Louis to install six security details inside the University. Harry as always was adamant about it. He didn't want all that security. He had two personal security detail : Jeremy and Logan and now there were another six security detail inside the University. Much to Harry's chagrin, as always Louis had his way.

'Good morning Sir,' Cal greeted him. 'The perimeter is clear and your car is secure. We can safely proceed to your destination.'

'Thank you Cal,' Louis told him as he walked towards his Bentley .

'Good morning Sir,' Angus told him, bowing a little. Louis smiled at his chauffeur.

'Good morning Angus,' Louis told him pleasantly as he slipped in the backseat of the Bentley where Leonard had the morning's newspapers stacked neatly on the seat. Riley slid in the back with him on the opposite seat. Angus closed the door after him and got in behind the wheel as Cal slipped in the passenger seat beside him. Angus pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Heathrow Airport.

The drive was shorter than usual since they were early and had avoided rush hour traffic. Louis boarded his jet with his two security and settled down for take off. As the plane made its way to the runway,Louis sent Harry a text.

[From Louis to Harry]  
Ready for take off. I miss you already. See you in a few. Love you sweetheart.

He hit sent and as the jet roared and ran down the runway, his phone pinged. He knew he had to set it to airplane mode but he couldn't resist.

[From Harry to Louis]  
Can't wait to see you and kiss you. I love you. Stay safe xxx

Louis smiled at his phone not giving two shirts that his security detail and crew were looking at him weird. They all knew he was totally whipped by his boy and he wasn't ashamed if the world around him got a sneak peek of his happiness. He turned his phone off as the jet took off. Louis relaxed into the leather seat and accepted breakfast brought to him by his crew who also served his security. He read the newspaper and occasionally looked outside the window at the blue sky.Up here, the sky was blue and Louis felt happy even though his happiness was shadowed by fear and his anxiety never left him but he was grateful that he was loved by the perfect man ever and he was determined to live life with him to the fullest even though he had no idea what could be thrown their way. Anthony had drilled it into him that living life in fear was living half a life and that we were all subjected to tragedies in life and they never came with a warning.One day life could be good, the next day, all that could be gone so, Anthony had told him to live in the now, not in the past or in fear of what tomorrow could bring. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone and Louis decided to take that advice along with a shit load of precautions.

The voice of the pilot over the intercom brought him back to the moment. 'We are waiting for clearance to land at Manchester Airport. Please fasten your seat belts.'

The plane landed and Louis was ushered through to VIP where he had his passport checked along with his security. Then he was made to wait in the lounge with Riley while Cal checked the rented chauffeured car that was waiting for Louis to take him to Holmes Chapel. When Cal was satisfied that all was safe, Louis was allowed into the car and the hour drive to Holmes Chapel began. He pulled out his phone and texted Harry.

[To Harry from Louis]  
Landed. Headed to meeting. Should be done within the hour. How are you faring without me? ;)

Louis smiled as he hit send and relaxed enjoying the scenery as they left the busy city streets of Manchester, crowded with early morning traffic and drove to the outskirts. Louis knew that they would take the motorway out of the city that would get them to Holmes Chapel faster. His phone pinged.

[From Harry to Louis]  
I feel like half a person without you.You always take half of me with you whenever you go :(

 

Louis made a fond face at his phone, wishing he was beside his boy to make him feel whole.

[To Harry from Louis]  
If its any consolation I feel half of me too when I'm away from you. You complete me. I can't wait to see you my love.

The reply came immediately.

[To Louis from Harry]  
Can't wait! I'm still waiting for you to deal with me and punish me ;)

Louis chuckled and shook his head. How could his baby go from sweet cupcake to sexy hot sub in less than a second? Louis put his phone away because if he replied he knew that their texts would turn dirty and hot and he would be distracted with a boner in his pants! He looked out the tinted windows of the car and saw the road signs indicating that Holmes Chapel was less than two miles away. He got into his business persona. He had things to take care of.

X

The chauffeur parked the car on the street across from Harry's childhood home. Louis didn't wait for the chauffeur to open his door for him.He opened it himself and got out. It was colder up here than in London. He looked at his watch. It wasn't even nine am yet! Good. He wanted to do this and get back to his boy. Cal stood beside him.

'I'll do a perimeter check Sir.'

'No need Cal. It's safe here.' Cal looked at him and lowered his voice.

'Sir, you never know who's watching. I cannot risk your safety. Please stay here with Riley and let me do my job. I will be only a few minutes.' Louis nodded and stayed by the car with Riley. True to his word, Cal was back.

'Clear. Shall one of us accompany you inside Sir?' Louis shook his head.

'No. Wait here. I shouldn't be too long.' Cal told Riley to stay by the car. He walked with Louis up to the house, stationing himself beside the door. Louis knocked and waited. He heard shuffling footsteps then the door was opened to reveal Marge.

'Louis!' she exclaimed, clearly surprised. 'Oh how lovely to see you. Is Harry here too? Oh dear what a beautiful surprise this morning.' Louis smiled broadly at her.

'Harry stayed back home. It's just me,' he told her. Marge waved a hand at him.

'Well come on in then don't stand out there in the cold. I'll make us a cuppa.' Louis followed her into the now familiar house yet he felt out of place here without Harry. They entered the kitchen and Louis took a seat at the table as Marge busied herself making tea. The house smelled like baked cookies and it made Louis long for home...for Harry.

'So what brings you out here so early in the day love?' Marge asked him. She placed two cups on two saucers and brought out a teapot.

'I'm here because I need to speak with Des. How is he? Any better?' His tone was dry. Marge poured hot water into the teapot, some freshly baked cookies on a plate, placed everything on a tray and brought it to the table. She sat opposite Louis and poured out the tea. She handed him a cup.

'How is Harry?' she asked him. The change of subject threw Louis off a little.

'He's...he's fine. He just finished his mid-term exams. He just started Spring break.' Marge nodded to herself.

'Why didn't he come with you?' Louis took a sip of his tea.

'Because I need to discuss something with Des. Alone.' Marge looked a little uncomfortable and Louis noticed her blush. 'Marge,' he prodded her gently, 'is everything alright?' Marge waved a hand at him.

'Yes yes. Forgive me. I never expected to open my door, I mean Des' door and find you there.'

'I'm sorry, I should've called beforehand,' Louis said apologetically.

'Nonsense,' Marge dismissed his apology. 'You shouldn't call if you wish to visit your partner's father. You are family. I will go and get Des for you.' Marge left the kitchen for a bit and soon was back wheeling Des into the kitchen. Louis looked up as they entered and to his amazement,Des looked much better. He was sitting up straighter, he was dressed smartly and his eyes where more full of life. Marge placed Des by the table and poured him a cup of tea. Louis watched him reach out, pickup the cup, his hand slightly shaking and take a sip of his tea.

'You have made progress,' Louis stated. Marge squeezed Des' shoulder.

 

'Yes he has. Still has a long way to go but we are hopeful that he will be better.' Des looked up at her and gave her a small smile. Louis looked from Des to Marge back to Des. He cleared his throat because what he was seeing couldn't be right could it? Des looked at him.

'Why did you want to see me?' he asked, shocking Louis again. He was speaking albeit slowly and his words a little slurred but he was actually talking.

'Can I speak to you in private?'

'You can tell me. Marge can stay.' Louis looked from one to the other again.

'Are you two...' Louis let it hang in the air. Marge looked at Des and blushed.

'Yes we are,' Des said softly. 'She has been taking care of me and it happened.' Marge looked at Louis apologetically. Louis ground his teeth together.

'When we're you planning on telling Harry?' he asked her. 'He calls you every week Marge asking after his father. He doesn't even know that he's doing much better.' He felt angry and cheated. Not for himself but for Harry. He also felt a little disappointed that Marge would lie to Harry. Marge kept her eyes on Louis.

'I'm sorry. It wasn't my place....'

'Not your place? ' Louis asked trying to keep his voice free from anger and the feeling of betrayal he was feeling. 'You are dating his father Marge.He has a right to know.'

'And we will tell him,' Des interrupted.

'When?' Louis growled at the man who he loathed. Marge whimpered and Louis internally scolded himself for forgetting himself. He took a sip of his tea. Marge looked at him a little worried.

'We don't mean to hurt him. I know what his mother meant to him and I don't want to take her place but Des and I. ....'Louis took in a deep breath to calm himself down.

'How long has this been going on? ' Louis asked them. Des took her hand.

'Shortly before I had my stroke. She stood beside me since, took care of me. I will tell Harry when the time is right. Now tell me why you wanted to see me.' Louis composed himself. This was not his business. This was between Des and Harry.

'I came here because I want to offer you my help. I promised Harry I would help you get better and get you into business again.' Marge gasped but Des looked unimpressed. He turned to Marge.

'Can you get me a sweater love. I'm cold.' Marge gave him a doting smile, excused herself and left the room. Des fixed Louis with a hard stare.

'Are you worried I might tell Harry what you did to me?' he asked him. Louis leaned back in his chair and delivered the same hard glare back.

'He knows.'

'And he's still with you?' Des asked, the hint of a surprise in his voice.

'Your son loves me. He's a very decent person. He forgives,' Louis said. Des scoffed and the sound grated on Louis' nerves.

'Looks like he has no morals forgiving the man who ruined his own father.'

'Watch yourself,' Louis warned him. 'I came here with good intentions. I owe it to your son that his father is cared for. I owe YOU nothing!' Des kept his eyes on Louis.

'If you are going to barter with me like you did last tine, my answer is still no.' Louis felt the anger bubbling beneath the surface.

'I am not here to barter business for you to give affection to your son. Harry has come to terms with the fact that you don't love him and will never accept him but he has taught me to do the right thing no matter what so I am here to tell you that as of tomorrow you will be receiving special care from the best people in this field. You should be on your feet and fully functioning in a few weeks. I am also offering to help you start up a new business of your choosing. I want my partner's father well and settled and trust me, I am not doing this because I have a guilty conscience for what I did. I am doing this for Harry so he can rest easy knowing you are well and working again. All I want is his happiness. I couldn't give two shits about your's since you don't give a fuck about his but for him, and only for him, I am willing to play nice.' Des made a snorting sound.

'And you expect me to be grateful?' Louis stood up and looked down on the man.

 

'I don't want or need your thanks. All I want is Harry's happiness and to right the wrongs I have done that hurt him. You are not part of our lives so I really don't care but he does and if he cares, then I have to make sure that who he cares about are well taken care of. That's what family does. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch back home. Here's my card. When you're ready to get your business started, give me a ring and we will talk. Goodbye Des.'Louis left the kitchen and on the way out he met Marge coming down the stairs.

'You're already leaving?' she asked him a little disappointed. Louis gave her a small smile.

'Harry is waiting for me.' Marge looked down.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell him. It's not my place to....' Louis squeezed her arm.

'I know. It's his father's place to tell him.' He leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek. 'Take care Marge. If you need anything, anytime you know where to reach us.' Marge dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief.

'Thank you. Give my love to Harry and I am so sorry Louis.' Louis squeezed her hand.

'Don't be sorry for loving someone Marge. Just make sure that he tells Harry. I won't say a thing to him. Like you, it's not my place. See you Marge.' Louis gave her another smile then walked out the door, straight into his waiting car that drove him to the airport.

X

Louis made it back to his office by noon. He had sometime to get some work done before Harry arrived.However he could not concentrate because he hated hiding things from Harry and the fact the Des was dating Marge, had been dating Marge from before his stroke and had hidden it from Harry, didn't sit down too well with Louis. Still, he knew that it was his father's job to tell him that he was dating Marge. He decided to make some phone calls to doctors and physiotherapists that had helped his mother to get them on Des' case.

His desk phone startled him out of his work. He pressed the button.

'Yes Lynn?' he asked, a little irritated that he had been disturbed.

'Your one pm is here Sir,' she told him and Louis did not miss the smile in her voice. He looked at his watch and true enough it was almost one.

'Shit!' he said. 'Send him in.' Louis got up off his chair just in time as Harry pushed the door to his office open and peeked in.

'Harry,' Louis breathed as if he had been submerged under water without breathing for a long time and surfaced, taking in a deep breath. Harry smiled at him happily, his dimples indenting his cheeks. He let the door fall closed behind him as he crossed the office and fell into Louis' open arms.

'I missed you,' Harry mumbled in his neck. Louis closed his eyes and inhaled him, letting the familiarity he knew so well wash everything else away.

'I missed you more,' Louis whispered, running his hand through his curls. Harry pulled back and kissed Louis gently, softly.

'How was your meeting?' Harry asked him. Louis tugged at Harry's hand pulling him towards the couch. He sat down and he pulled Harry down beside him.

'It was good.' Louis paused. 'I went to see your dad.' He watched Harry's eyes go wide.

'What? Why didn't you tell me? I could've come with you to see him.' Louis did not miss the hint of disappointment in Harry's voice.

'Sweetheart it was not a social call. I had business to discuss with your father and I wanted to do it face to face and treat it like any other business deal I handle. Do you think if it was a social visit I wouldn't have taken you?' Harry shrugged.

'I guess,' he mumbled.

'Harry don't guess! Know! I want you to know that I would have taken you but there were things I needed to discuss with your father only.' Harry gave him a small smile.

'I'm sorry. You just took me by surprise s'all. How is he? And Marge?'

'They are fine. Marge says hello and sends her love.'

'And my dad?' Harry asked hopefully and Louis hated how Harry still held on to the hope that his father would eventually accept him. Louis said nothing and Harry looked down disappointed. Louis cursed Des inwardly.

'Hey, it is what it is right? He's not gonna change Harry so please stop expecting him to because you will only hurt yourself. Please baby.' Harry offered him another smile.

'Yeah I'm sorry. I just you know keep hoping.' Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

'I know baby. I know.'

'So how did he take your proposition?' It was Louis' turn to shrug.

'I don't know. I laid the offer down to him. I called the people that helped my mother, doctors and physiotherapists and they will be going down next week to visit him and see his condition. I am very optimistic that he will be walking and talking soon. I told him to call me once he knows if he wants me to help him start up another business.' Harry leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

'You are too kind,' he said.

'It's what we do for family Harry. I ruined your father and I will see to it that he is back on his feet again. I promised you that.'

'You know you don't have to right?' Harry told him and Louis gave him a smile.

'I know. But I want to. I have to make amends. I want to make amends. I just hate seeing you hurt.' Harry looked down and played with his fingers.

'I just, you know keep expecting him to call me or reach out to me,' he said in a quiet voice. Louis looked at him tenderly, placed a finger under his chin and raised his face to his.

 

'Baby please stop expecting him to change. You will only disappoint and hurt yourself and I hate that. This is why I detest your father. Because he makes you unhappy. Because he doesn't give you what any father should give freely to his son.' Louis paused and stroked Harry's cheek lovingly.

'I mean he is not like my dad. Your dad loved you and treated you right. He gave you a home, a family. He gave you love and stability. He gave you all that a child needed while growing up until you came out to him. I just don't understand how he could stop loving you just because you came out as gay.' Louis paused again.

'So I can understand why you hold on to the hope that maybe he will change and that maybe he will accept you and in all honesty, I admire how you hold on to that hope with immense strength and faith that he might change. The faith you have in him is incredible and it takes a strong person to keep that faith in a man that does nothing but push you away. I will never fault you that or try to take away that faith and hope from you. I just hate seeing you hurt because of him. It pains me to see you ache because of his inability to love you simply because you are gay.' Harry placed his hand over Louis', turned his head and placed a kiss into his palm.

'I never give up on people. Sometimes people amaze you,' he said quietly. Louis smiled at him.

'I'm glad you never gave up on me,' he said lowly.

'That's why I don't give up and always hope. Hope is the last thing that dies in a person. When hope dies, all is lost.' Louis leaned closer and kissed his lips gently.

'Such a philosopher,' he whispered against his lips, both of them smiling.

'Shut up,' Harry said jokingly.

'My philosopher. Mine. Mine only.'

'Yours. Yours only.' Harry pulled him closer, deepening the kiss until it became heavy and heated and both of them were panting.

'I...I thought you were....going to....punish me,' Harry said in between kisses, not daring to leave Louis' lips for a second.

'Hmmm,' Louis said against his lips. 'You have been quite naughty haven't you?'

'I have,' Harry breathed into his mouth. He was horny and needy.

'Bad boys get spanked,' Louis said as he nibbled at the skin of Harry's neck. Harry let his head fall back giving Louis more access.

'They do,' he moaned out. Louis pulled back and looked at Harry who looked half way wrecked.

'Get up,' Louis ordered. Harry was on his feet in the blink of an eye.

'Sir,' he said demurely, keeping his head down. Louis stood in front of him.

'You are going to get a good spanking for the way you acted this morning. Do you understand why you are being punished?'

'Yes Sir,' Harry replied. 'I misbehaved. I pouted and whined and stepped out of line.'

'Good boy,' Louis praised him. 'Now, go over to my desk, drop your pants and bend over.'

'Yes Sir,' Harry replied obediently. Louis watched him go over to his desk and unbutton his jeans. Harry kept eye contact with Louis as he slid them and his boxers down his long legs. Louis' breath hitched in his throat when he saw his beautiful boy half naked and bend himself over his desk. Louis walked towards the door and locked it. He calmly walked over to the desk and ran his hand over Harry's exposed bum, touching the faint white scars that his belt and anger had left on him.

'Not a sound. We are in my office. My employees are down the hall. I know it's highly unlikely they will hear anything but I want you to be discreet. Do you understand?'

'Yes Sir,' Harry whined. Louis reached over Harry's bent form and pressed a button on his desk phone. Lynn's voice came through.

'Lynn, can you be a dear and order lunch for us please? We don't mind what it is, you choose and please buzz me when it gets here. I don't want to be disturbed as I have some business to take care of.'

'Of course Sir,' Lynn told him. Louis ran his hand up Harry's bum again.

'Good boy,'he complimented. He reached over Harry again and picked up a metal ruler. Harry saw it from the periphery of his vision and felt a thrill go up his spine.

'So how many spanks with this ruler do you feel you deserve for your attitude this morning hmm?' Louis asked him as he ran the ruler over Harry's bum. Harry hissed at the cold metal touching his flushed skin.

'Ten Sir. I deserve ten for being a spoiled brat.' Louis smiled to himself because Harry was awfully cute even while being punished.

'Yes you were,' Louis commented. 'What are your colors?' Harry took in a shuddering breath, both from arousal and anticipation.

'Green I'm good. Yellow I'm nearing my limit. Red stop.'

'Good boy. Now I want you to count for me and don't come until I give you permission. Do you understand?'

'Yes Sir, ' Harry said quickly. Louis took a step back from Harry, raised the ruler and landed it harshly on Harry's bum, making Harry gasp out.

'God....one!' Louis smiled and landed the second smack on his other bum cheek.

'Fuck....two God,' he groaned out.

'No cursing. Good boys don't curse Harry now do they?'

'No they don't. I'm sorry Sir.' Without warning, Louis landed an other two smacks on Harry's bum. He caressed the pinking skin with his thumb, loving the feel of the warm skin where the ruler had landed.

'What's your color sweetheart?' Louis asked him as he kneaded his bum flesh.

'G-green Sir,' Harry told him. Louis could see him gripping the edge of his desk tightly, his knuckles white. 'Please Sir,' Harry said lowly. Harry was slowly thrusting his hips forward against the desk and Louis knew that he would soon need to come.

 

'Six more to go. Can you take them?'

'Yes Sir......yes,' Harry was quick to reply. So Louis delivered the last six smacks in quick rapid succession, making Harry whine and groan quietly, his hips snapping of their own accord. When he was done, he dropped the ruler on the floor.

'Are you alright love?' Louis asked him, his hands running over Harry's warm pink skin. Harry smiled a little dazed.

'Yes I'm alright. That was....wow I should be naughty more often.' Louis chuckled. He bent over Harry and placed a kiss on his cheek as he ran his fingers through his mass of unruly hair.

'Wanna fuck you now,' Louis whispered in his ear and Harry grinned.

'I'm ready whenever you are. How do you want me?' Harry asked him, his voice thick and slower than molasses.

'Get up sweetheart,' Louis ordered and Harry got up slowly. He swayed a little and Louis held him steady. 'Alright?' Louis asked him and Harry nodded.

'Right. I'm going to sit in my chair and I'm going to fuck you while sitting on my lap. Facing the desk.' Harry shot up an eyebrow and smirked at Louis.

'Hmm never done it like that before,' he pointed out. Louis pecked his lips.

'There's a first for everything sweetheart,' he told him as he unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor along with his boxers. He sat in his executive leather chair looking the multi billion dollar CEO that he was, bare from the waist down but still in his shirt and tie. Harry was salivating. Louis looked so good, so hot like this. Harry bent down and pulled out a condom from his jeans and commenced to put it on.

'Can't make a mess in here,' he told Louis with a sly grin. Louis patted his lap, indicating for Harry to sit down. Harry turned his back to him and sat, his long legs spread and feet underneath the desk. Louis rolled the chair forward till Harry's stomach was flush with the desk. Louis reached into the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a small bottle of lube. He quickly coated himself.

'Ready?' Louis asked him and Harry nodded as he grabbed on to the desk for purchase.'Lift,' Louis ordered and Harry obeyed. He lifted his bum up and felt Louis place himself at his entrance. Harry began to take him in slowly. Louis held him by the hips and watched him slide down on him, his cock disappearing inside Harry inch by inch. Harry grabbed the edge of the desk to brace himself and keep himself steady. When Louis was fully inside him and Harry's bum was snug on Louis' thighs, they both let out a blissful moan.

'God you're beautiful like this,' Louis whispered to him as he thrust gently up into Harry,making the boy lean forward into the desk. Harry let out a groan of pleasure. When Louis thrust up into him again, Harry pushed down his hips, taking Louis deeper into him.

 

'Oh God baby,' Louis moaned. He wanted to close his eyes from the pure pleasure Harry was giving him but he wanted to watch Harry fuck himself on his cock. 'Do that again baby.' And Harry, like the good sub that he is, as soon as Louis thrust up into him, he pushed down and clenched around Louis almost making him scream out loud. 'Fuuuck Harry,' he growled tightening his grip on Harry's hips. Harry smiled and pushed his ass down, grinding on Louis taking him in deeper.

One of Louis' hands left Harry's hip and he wrapped it around his waist pulling him back into him, his chest flush with Harry's back. The new position had Louis'dick ram straight into Harry's prostate and Harry let out a sinful moan. He let his head drop back onto Louis' shoulder.

'Oh God Louis Louis Louis,' Harry whined. Louis took Harry's earlobe in between his lips and sucked.

'You like that baby?' he murmured in his ear as he continued to thrust up into him mercilessly, pounding into his prostate. Harry felt the tears form in his eyes from the pleasure Louis was causing him.

'Yes....yes...please....I...I...need to come Sir,' Harry mumbled as Louis continued to thrust into him, jostling him up into his lap.

'Not yet sweetheart. Can you hold out a little longer for me?' Harry mumbled something that Louis could not comprehend. Louis reached around Harry and took his hard cock in hand, squeezing gently at the base to stop him from coming. Harry shuddered.

'Please please Sir....I need to....I need....God. ...I need.....'

'Shh Shh sweet baby soon yeah. Soon. Be a good boy.' Harry nodded and Louis continued to fuck up into him. When he felt close to his release, he started jacking Harry off, tugging him at the same pace he was thrusting up into him.

'You can come sweetheart,' Louis whispered in his ear.

'Oh...oh...oh God oh God,' Harry cried out. Louis felt him stiffen, his insides clenching tightly around his dick, then his body shudder and tremble as Harry came into the condom. His body spasmed in Louis' lap as he clenched tighter,pulling Louis' orgasm out of him. Harry sighed when he felt Louis spill into him and his body relaxed on Louis' lap as he let Louis ride out his orgasm. They both lay like that, Harry slumped in Louis' lap, Louis kissing his cheek, both of them breathing heavily, Louis'heart beating into Harry's back.

'That was fucking amazing baby,' Louis said as he kissed Harry's face again. Harry smiled lazily.

'It was. I feel like jello.' Louis chuckled.

'Me too. Can't feel my legs or my dick.' Harry laughed, a deep rumbling sound that echoed inside Louis' chest.

'I'm starving,' Harry said. Louis kissed his neck.

'You're always starving after sex.' Harry turned his head and was face to face with Louis, those blue eyes shining.

'What can I say, you work me up an appetite.' Just then the desk phone buzzed. Louis sat up bringing Harry up with him who hissed because Louis' dick was still inside of him and he was over sensitive.

'Sorry baby,' Louis said as he reached past Harry to the desk phone and pressed the button.

'Yes Lynn,' he said, trying to not sound fucked out just like he looked.

'Sir your lunch has arrived.'

'Thank you Lynn. Just give me five minutes to wrap this business e-mail and then bring it in and Lynn, be a dear bring us some tea. Thank you.' Louis placed a kiss in the middle of Harry's shoulder blades.

'Up you go sweetheart. Gotta get some food in you, get your energy back up so you will be ready for me for tonight.' Harry raised an eyebrow at Louis, a smile playing on his lips.

'You want more?' Louis captured his lips in a soft kiss.

'I can never get enough of you. Ever. The more I have you, the more I want you. I love you so much.' Harry felt his heart swell to thrice its size .

'I can't get enough of you either. I love you honey.'

 

 

x

 

 

A few weeks later, Louis and Harry found themselves at the beginning of June. How time had rolled by so quickly, they did not know. Harry said that it was because they were so happy and so in love that they had hardly noticed the changing of the seasons. Louis had kissed his beautiful lips and agreed with him. Things had been good, better then they had been. Ryan had been sentenced to eighteen years in prison and they had both been overjoyed, however it had been like Walter had told them it would be. Ryan would be eligible for parole in nine year's time, sooner if he had good conduct. But Louis decided to do it Harry's way, to leave it and let it be. It was what It was!

There had been no further trouble from his father or his henchmen. Ever since the people that had been caught observing Louis and Harry had their visitation rights taken away, there had been no further reports that they were being watched or followed. Still, Louis kept his security details and those of Harry too. He didn't want to risk it. He knew that his father would not give up so easily.

They had eventually settled into a routine; work, uni, lunch dates, weekends away and nights at home. Harry had had an amazing time in Japan with Louis during his Spring break. He hadn't minded that Louis had to spend hours in board rooms in meetings with clients and new potential clients for his new gaming industry which was the main reason he had come to Tokyo in the first place. Niall and Shawn had suggested a Japanese company that specialized in software for games.Their software was very advanced and Niall and Shawn had urged Louis to get them on board especially if they were intending to specialize in virtual gaming. Louis had listened to them and talked it over with his board of directors and they had agreed to try and get ZenChi on board. Louis had managed to persuade them to invest in his new gaming industry and even though he had spent hours in talks with them, they had finally agreed to team up with TomGames Inc. And thus, Louis'small subsidiary gaming company was born. Niall and Shawn were the captain's that drove this project and Louis left it up to them because he knew jack shit about video games. All they did was come up with ideas to him, explain it, explain the profits to be made out of it, Louis took it to the board and once it was approved, all Louis had to do was sign their ideas away. They promised him that within the next six months, the first TomGame would be on the market.

Louis had taken Harry around Tokyo. He had taken him to Japanese restaurants where he impressed Harry with his Japanese speaking tongue. And Harry fell harder for Louis, more than he thought he could.

Over the months of April and May, Louis and Harry found themselves busier than ever; Louis with TGI and the new TomGames Inc., Harry with studies for his up coming final exams for his second year at Uni. He was determined to graduate the following year so he was working extra hard. They had little free time but always found the time for each other, be it a quick hurried breakfast together or a late dinner, both of them dozing off on their plates as they sat in the kitchen,not bothering to use the dining room. However, Louis made it a point to at least have Sundays free for each other. Louis took Harry shopping for seeds for his plants and flowers and generally their Sundays were spent in the garden, planting flowers and plants. The weather had been better even though it was still chilly, but during the day, the sun was out and even though Louis could have never imagined himself gardening, it was impossible not to share in Harry's enthusiasm thus, he found himself on Sundays decked in sweats and at-shirt, outside with Harry, digging and following Harry's instructions on where and how to plant. And Louis, being so whipped for his boy, had done what he was told and planted flowers with Harry in their garden.

Now it was the beginning of June, the end of Spring and the beginning of summer. Harry had aced all his exams with excellent grades and the Dean had told Harry that if he continued like this during his third year at Uni, he would indeed graduate a year earlier. Harry was pleased and very proud of himself because it had been a hard and difficult year but he had made it. He had worked hard and managed to get the grades he had been aiming for. Needless to say, Louis was proud as a peacock and he had taken a weekend off work and had taken Harry to Paris to celebrate, a weekend of good food, great wine,romantic strolls and passionate love making!

Now it was time to fly out to Italy to take Harry to the Gucci headquarters to meet Alessandro Michele and Harry was panicking.

'Lou what do I pack? I mean it's Gucci, I can't pack other designers can I? Or can I? I mean....I don't know what to pack. Help me!' Louis smiled at his flustered boyfriend.

'Honey you need to c......'

'Louis William Tomlinson do not tell me to calm down! This is important and I need to be well prepared!' Louis kept smiling at him because even flustered and panicked, Harry was cute as fuck.

'How about we call Gerard and he can deck you in the latest Gucci?' Louis asked him. Harry gave him an annoyed look.

'How about no?' he replied sassily. Louis pursed him lips.

'Hmmm I like it when you are sassy. Gives me a reason to punish you,' Louis told him as he swatted his ass.

'Louis!' Harry whined. 'I need help not you slapping my bum!' Louis chuckled.

'I did offer Gerard!' Harry put his hands on his hips and stared at.

'You just want an excuse to spend money on me!' Louis smiled and kissed his pouting lips.

'Anything to set your mind at ease my darling.' Harry flopped down on the bed and looked up at Louis with big doe eyes so innocent that Louis gave him a fond smile and cupped his cheek in his hand.

'You are so cute when you look at me like that. Tell you what? How about we call Lottie hmm. Since she is your assistant of sorts so we should put her to work what do you say? She would be better help to you than I am since you dissed my help by declining Gerard!' Harry's face brightened.

'Would you really? he asked him, his voice full of hope. Louis scoffed.

'Of course sweetheart. I would never deny you anything.' Louis placed a kiss on his forehead. 'I'll give her a ring.' Harry sighed in relief as Louis pulled out his phone and talked to Lottie.

A few minutes later, Lottie was in their bedroom looking at Harry's side of the closet, her index finger tapping on her lower lip as her eyes racked over his outfits in concentration. Harry stood beside her looking lost. Finally she turned and looked at Harry.

'Okay so Gucci want you. They showed interest in you so frankly Harry if you went over there decked in a potato sack, I don't think that they'd change their minds. Also, you might want to show them that you look good in everything not in just Gucci so I would advise you to wear other designers. Like, you're on the market, the hottest new model waiting to be snagged up and make them feel like its a privilege to even have you there.' Harry looked at her open mouthed.

'You think that's wise?' he asked her. Lottie raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at him.

'Harry, models work for all designers. I've seen you walk. You are sought after. If it won't be Gucci that snags you up, it will be Saint Laurent or D&G. Be confident. Remember; THEY need YOU not the other way round. So, let's start packing and I suggest you wear Marc Jacobs, one of the outfits you walked in. Those pants make your legs look really long. Remind them what they will have to lose if they hesitate.' She gave him a wink and pulled out a pair of tight black pants in snake print and a black sheer shirt. Harry smiled at her happily, took the clothes and went to get dressed, leaving it up to Lottie to sort out his clothes and pack his suitcase. When he came back out, he found her waiting by the door along with his suitcase.

'We have to hurry,' she told him. 'Louis just called and said we need to leave now. The jet is cleared for take off and everyone is already on board.'

'I haven't even done my hair!' Harry protested as he ran a hand through his unruly hair as if to make the point clear to her. Lottie smiled at him.

'You look good even dishevelled Harry. Honestly, don't you know how good you look? But if it helps I have my beauty kit with me and I can fix you up on the plane okay.' Harry nodded, slipped on his Gucci rainbow loafers and set off hurrying after Lottie. Louis was waiting by the door impatiently pacing. When he heard the sound of their footsteps on the stairs he looked up and when he saw Harry, he took a deep intake of breath, held it and let it go slowly. Harry could still take his breath away.

 

'Sorry,' Harry apologized meekly. Louis kept staring at him. Lottie rolled her eyes but smiled.

'Honestly you two. Can we go now? I don't want us to miss our flight.' Louis cleared his throat, tore his eyes away from Harry and looked at Lottie.

'You're not flying British Airways you know that right? It's my jet and it won't leave unless I'm on board.' He gave her a wink and Lottie rolled her eyes playfully at her brother. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged her to his side. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

'Did you help my flustered boyfriend?' he asked her as they walked outside towards the Bentley.

'M'not flustered,' Harry mumbled from his other side, a scowl visible on his beautiful face. Louis chuckled.

'You're scowling,' Louis pointed out. Harry huffed.

'M'not,' he protested. Louis looked at Lottie and winked at her as she got into the back of the Bentley.

'You're pouting, ' Louis said. He was having fun teasing Harry. He moved aside to let him go in after Lottie.

'M'not pouting Lou,' Harry told him as Louis got in beside him. Riley got in and sat next to Lottie opposite them. Lottie gave Riley a smile. He just nodded back. Louis squeezed Harry's knee.

'Just teasing you love. I love watching you get flustered.' Harry huffed playfully but did not reply. Louis moved closer, his lips next to Harry's ear.

'You look so fucking hot in those pants,' he whispered in his ear, making goosebumps break out over Harry's body. His cheeks heated up and Louis smiled. 'Flustered now?' Harry glared at him.

'Asshole,' he muttered and Louis laughed out loud, Lottie shaking her head at them.

X

The plane was ready for take off. Everyone was buckled in their seats,his family and love of his life with him, in his private jet off to Italy for a week for their first family vacation. He looked around at their excited faces, his mother and siblings and his partner and Louis never felt happier and more together then he did at that moment. He felt content even though he had doubled security for this holiday. Yes they were going to be abroad but he was not going to take any chances. Maggie sat beside his mother as excited as the rest of them. Louis had come to think of her as family, just like he did Judy. And Marge. Which made him realize that Des had not yet called to tell Harry or call him to tell him whether he had decided if he wanted to start up a business again or not. Anger coiled in Louis'stomach at the man's nerve but he decided to put it away. He was not going to let Desmond Styles ruin their first family holiday.

Once the plane took off and was airborne, they were allowed to unfasten their seat belts. They had a two hour flight. Lottie was on Harry the moment she could get out of her seat, fussing over his hair. The cabin crew served tea, coffee, drinks and snacks. Ernest and Louis played a game of chess while his other siblings watched DVDs and talked among themselves and with their mother.

The two hour flight went by in the blink of an eye and soon the pilot's voice came over the intercom, telling them to fasten their seat belts as they began their descent into Aeroporto di Fiumicino in Rome.Squeals of delight filled the jet and Louis smiled fondly at his family who all looked so happy and content. Harry sat down next to him and after fastening his seat belt took Louis' hand, lacing his long fingers though Louis'. Louis squeezed his hand.

'You look very beautiful. Lottie had done amazing work.' Harry blushed a little then moved closer to Louis to whisper in his ear.

'She put make up on me Lou. She put concealer to hide my blemishes she said.' Louis gasped in mocked shock!

 

'You? Have blemishes? How dare she?' Harry giggled.

'No seriously she did and she put like a transparent mascara on me so my lashes can look longer she said and she put on lip therapy on my lips! It's tinted pink and tastes like strawberries!' Louis leaned forward and pecked his lips than licked his own lips, testing the taste.

'Hmm you do taste like strawberries,' he said as he captured his lips in another kiss loving the sweet taste on Harry's lips.

'Louis!' Lottie huffed sounding irritated. 'Can you stop smooching him for a second? You are removing his gloss.' Louis pulled back and grinned at her as she rummaged in her Michael Kors handbag.

'Your fault,' he told her. 'You made him taste nice.' Lottie rolled her eyes at him.

'Honestly!' she chastised her brother fondly. She threw Harry the strawberry flavored lip gloss. 'Put some on,' she told him,then turned to Louis. 'And you stay away from his lips!' Ernest laughed loudly.

'Seems a bit hard to do that Lot!' he joked giving her a wink.

'Can't keep them apart for a second,' Felicitie said giggling her her brother's fake annoyed look.

'Joined at the hip,' Daisy added. Louis rolled his eyes.

'Are you all quite finished yet?' he asked them, feigning annoyance but secretly loving it.

'Not quite,' Phoebe piped up.

'Alright alright,' Johanna said. 'Leave them be. Look at poor Harry he's as red as a beet!' All of them chorused a loud "awww" and Harry had to hide behind Louis from embarrassment.

'You're embarrassing my boyfriend,' Louis pointed out. Harry nudged him.

'Shut. Up.' he whispered, burying his face in Louis'jacket. They all burst out laughing and Louis coaxed an embarrassed Harry to sit up straight as the plane touched down in Rome.

X

An hour and a half later, Louis, Harry and Lottie were entering the Gucci head quarters. Harry was a nervous wreck. Why, Louis had no idea. But then again he had been nervous for Marc's show so it was natural that he would be nervous for this too. Both Louis and Lottie had reassured him that he would do great. They entered a lavish building and found themselves in a huge reception, all made up of white marble, white Romanesque statues, a fountain in the middle ofthe foyer of Venus standing there naked with fish spurting water around her. The counter, behind which stood an elegant and beautiful receptionist was also white marble and behind her on the marble walls was written GUCCI in bold gold letters. It was chic and expensive!Harry tugged on Louis' hand.

'I'm gonna throw up,' he said softly. Louis looked at him and noticed that he was a little pale.

'Are you not feeling well?' Louis asked worriedly. Harry shook his head.

'I'm just very nervous. Look at this place? It's very professional and high standard. Why would they want me?' Louis turned to face him.

'Hey, why are you doubting yourself? The fact that they want you here means they saw something in you that they want. I don't want you doubting yourself. If you are having a change of heart, that's fine, we can leave but I won't leave here just because you are doubting yourself. You have what it takes. Marc said that!' Harry looked down.

'Marc is your friend,' he said quietly.

'So you're saying that Marc let you model his clothes just because he's my friend?' Louis chuckled. 'Trust me, he let you walk and it had nothing to do with me. He saw your potential. Okay so you are an unknown to the fashion world but Marc presented you and these people here want you. They saw the same potential Marc saw.'

'We don't know that yet,' Harry said, his voice low. Louis put his finger under his chin and raised his face.

'Then let's go and see what they see in you yeah? And if they don't see what I see in you, I'll sue their ass .' Louis winked at him and that made Harry smile. He took his hand and together they walked towards the receptionist who gave them a big smile, teeth white and lips red.

'Buon pomeriggio Signori. Benvenuti a Casa Gucci. Sono Valentina. Come posso aiutarvi?'

 

Louis gave her a charming smile. 'Buon pomeriggio a Lei,' he told her in a heavy British accent. Harry's mouth dropped open when he heard Louis speak Italian fluently. 'Io sono Louis Tomlinson. Questo e Harry Styles. Siamo qui per il nostro appuntamento con Alessandro Michele.' Valentina's eyes went wide.

'Oh yes,' she said, switching to English for their benefit. 'Mr. Michele is expecting you. One moment prego,' she said politely as she picked up a phone, dialed an extension and waited. After a while she spoke softly into the phone, hung up and looked at them, offering another blinding smile.

'Mr. Michele is expecting you. Please take the elevator floor number five.' Louis gave her another smile of his own.

'Thank you so much Valentina,' he said politely.

'Prego,' she said as she watched them walk towards the elevator. When they were in and Lottie pressed the number five button, Harry looked at Louis.

'You never told me you speak Italian too,' he said. Louis grinned and shrugged.

'I speak several languages. I studied a lot.' The elevator dinged open and they walked out into another foyer similar to the one downstairs but on a smaller scale. Here there were white couches with gold colored cushions on them. Another beautiful woman greeted them.

'Welcome to the House of Gucci. I am Magdalena. Please, follow me.' They followed her down a marble corridor, her Gucci heels clicking loudly on the polished marble.

'I feel so under dressed,' Lottie muttered quietly.

'Same,' Harry agreed. Louis rolled his eyes.

'You're both fine. Now quit your whining.' Magdalena stopped in front of a door and knocked.

'Yes Lena,' a voice from inside said. She opened the door and peeked in.

'Signor Michele, Harry Styles e qui,' she announced. They heard movement from inside.

'Show them him Lena, presto.' Lena opened the door wide for them and gestured with her arm for them to enter.

'Thank you,' they said in unison. She smiled.

'Prego.' When they had walked in, the closed the door and she left. A bearded man greeted them, all smiles for Harry.

'Arry,' he said, not sounding the H. 'I am so glad to finally meet you,' he told him as he took his hands and kissed both his cheeks.

'Hello,' Harry said, blushing furiously and looking at Louis. Louis shrugged. Alessandro pulled back and looked Harry up and down.

'Splendido. Magnifico e molto molto bello.' Harry looked at Louis confused becasue he didn't understand. Louis cleared his throat. Alessandro looked at Louis.

'And you must be Louie,' he said pronouncing the E heavily. 'Pleasure to meet you.' He turned his eyes on Lottie.'And who is this bella bionda?'

'She is my sister, Charlotte,' Louis told him. Lottie moved forward and took the man's hand.

'Such a pleasure to meet you Sir. I love your work.' Alessandro thanked her then invited them to sit down. He buzzed Lena to bring them refreshments and they talked.

'So,' Alessandro began, 'I am looking for a face for my new tailoring campaign 2019. I saw you walk for Jacobs and you 'ave a...a....very pleasant face, very symmetric. And you 'ave very long legs. Belle. Sei bellissimo 'Arry.' Harry looked at Louis who gave Alessandro a strained smile. He then turned to Harry.

'He says you are very beautiful and have beautiful legs,' Louis said and both Harry and Lottie could hear the undertone to his voice : he was jealous! Harry looked at Alessandro.

'Thank you. You are very kind.' Alessandro nodded.

'So what we do is this. I 'ave rented an old Villa in Roma and we will do a photoshoot there of you and the other models. Tell me 'Arry, are you allergic to animals?' Harry looked a little confused.

'No I'm not allergic.'

'Bene bene, molto bene. So I will see you the day after tomorrow at the Villa. Lena will e-mail you the address and after we do the photoshoot, I will view all the models so I can choose my new face of Gucci. Good?' Alessandro stood up and the others followed suit.

'Thank you Alessandro for this opportunity,' Harry said shaking the man's hand but the man leaned in and kissed both his cheeks again.

'Thankyou 'Arry for taking the time to come to Italia. I 'ope you 'ave a pleasant stay in my country.' Harry nodded. Alessandro shook hands with Louis and Lottie and they left his office. On the way to the elevator they said goodbye to Lena and went back down to the ground floor reception, also saying goodbye to Valentina.

 

As they stepped out into the afternoon sun, which was hot on their skin,Louis huffed.

'If he had kissed you one more time or said bellissimo once more......'

'Jelly brother?' Lottie mocked him as she nudged Harry. Harry giggled but kissed Louis' cheek and whispered in his ear.

'Only you. Always.' And Louis smiled like a goof and felt his insides do the rumba because Harry was beautiful and he was his and he loved only him.

'Mine,' Louis whispered back.

'Yours,' Harry replied and placed a kiss on his lips.

'God you two,' Lottie said pretending to be disgusted. Louis pulled her into a hug.

'Jealous am I? Of course I'm bloody jealous! Look at him! And that bearded piece of......' Harry placed his large hand over Louis' mouth, covering the lower part of his face and cutting him off from what he was about to say.

'I'm hungry,' Harry said. 'Lets go eat and when I remove my hand, none of that alright,' he told him with a smirk. He removed his hand and Louis was smiling. He pulled him down to him and said underneath his breath so Lottie wouldn't hear :

'You are so getting your ass spanked for that!' He winked at him as Harry blushed and looked at him full of excitement. 'Now, who's up for a late lunch?'

X

For the next two days, Louis and his family did nothing but relax in the Italian sun, the heat burning on their pale skin. They visited Rome's tourist attractions, places that Louis had brought Harry to when they had visited last summer. They lounged by the pool at their five star hotel, drank wine and enjoyed the Italian cuisine.

Harry had received an e-mail from Lena with the address they had to go to for the photo shoot. Louis hired a chauffered car and he, Harry and Lottie set off on their destination.It was a forty five minute ride and Louis had never been thankful for an air conditioned car as much as he was today. The Mediterranean heat was a little too much for him, unlike his siblings who seemed to enjoy basking in the sun.

The Villa was old. Old as in centuries old but it had a certain charismatic flair to it. The gate was rusty and manually opened by a grounds keeper who welcomed them in. The chauffeur drove them up the wide drive, lined with olive trees on both sides. The ground was uneven so the short drive was bumpy. They were stopped in front of a wide stone staircase with stone balustrades on each side. Weeds grew up from between the cracked flag stones that made up the wide staircase. The staircase brought them up to a terrace that ran the length of the house, with stone benches at the front of the Villa, two stone lions holding coat of arms belonging to whichever Italian Duke, Lord or Roman Emperor that had owned the Villa back when the Roman Empire had ruled most of Europe.

The Villa was big and impressive. Made of white sun bleached stone, green wooden window frames and shutters. The front door was big and thrown wide open, leaves and flower petals blown in by the cool summer breeze covered the marble floors. They walked in and found themselves in a huge hall like room, with high ceilings that were painted in ancient Roman frescoes. Chandeliers made of wrought iron hung at intervals from the ceiling of the large hall.

'Impressive,' Louis said, his voice echoing back to him as he looked around the room. Heels clicking on the marble floors brought their attention towards a door at the far end of the hall. Lena was walking briskly towards them, decked head to toe in Gucci,her hair pulled back in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. Louis thought she looked like a walking Gucci advert.

'Benvenuti,' she said, offering them a brilliant white smile. 'Please, follow me.'She turned and walked back the same way she had come from, Louis,Harry and Lottie following her. She went through an archway and they found themselves in another large room with frescoes on the ceiling and large paintings in gold gilded frames that depicted Romans at war, angels and Roman emperors dressed in white robes eating grapes as they delighted in watching half naked women with flowers in their hair dance and serve them wine from golden jars. However, this room was bustling with activity. Rows of clothes hung on railings, makeshift makeup and hair areas where other models where being prepped for the photo shoot.

'Come please,' Lena told them motioning for Harry to follow her. Louis and Lottie followed close by. Lena stopped at an empty make shift make up work place and motioned for Harry to sit down. She waved a handsome boy over.

'This is Gustavo. He will do your hair and make up,' Lena told Harry as he sat down in the chair. Gustavo was tall and skinny, in his early twenties. He had bleached blond hair, shaved on one side and a long fringe on the other. He smiled at Harry.

'You can call me Gus,' he said in a very feminine voice. Gustavo looked at him with blue grey eyes. 'You are very handsome.' Louis resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

'Thank you,' Harry said shyly. Gustavo ran his fingers through Harry's curls and Louis wanted to smack his hand away.

'You hair has nice texture. Beautiful curls,' Gustavo almost pureed. It didn't take a PhD in humanology to know that Gustavo was gay and hitting on Harry hard. Louis extended his hand towards fucking Gustavo, wanting his to get his fucking fingers out of Harry's hair.

'I'm Louis. Tomlinson.' Gustavo looked at him unimpressed but shook his hand. 'I'm Harry's partner.' Gustavo gave him an even unimpressed smile and turned back to Harry giving him another big smile, totally ignoring Louis.

'Shall we get to work handsome? Not that there's much work for me to do on you. You are naturally beautiful.' This time Louis huffed and rolled his eyes. Harry smiled at Gustavo but reached out to Louis and took his hand, lacing his fingers through his. He squeezed his hand gently,reassuring him and calming him. Louis squeezed his hand back.

'You can wait out in the garden,' Lena suggested. Louis gave her a look.

'I'll wait here. Thank you,' he said, trying to keep his voice from sounding as irritated as he felt.

X

The garden was huge. There were lots of trees and stone steps leading from one level of the garden to another. Ruins of ancient Roman columns stood amidst the trees like sentinels. Ivy draped the garden walls and flag stones paved the way through trees and potted plants.There were also lots of animals! Baby goats, miniature pigs, lambs, chickens and even a cow!

'What the fuck?' Louis whispered only for Harry and Lottie to hear. Harry and Lottie looked on with open mouths as pigs scurried by chasing each other, lambs belated loudly,baby goats hopped about and chickens clucked. 'What the hell is Gucci doing?' Louis asked them. Just then Alessandro Michele saw them and came rushing over.

'Arry!' he exclaimed. 'Welcome. Are you ready? You look.....magnifico. Bellissimo.' He walked a complete circle around Harry inspecting the Gucci outfit that he was wearing:a light blue shirt, a black and white plaid suit and a blue and pink satin kimono over it. He also had a laurel leaves crown in his curly hair. He looked stunning! Alessandro fumbled with the kimono, first closing it and fastening the belt but then he hesitated it and unfastened the belt, letting it fall open over the suit.

'Perfetto!'he said. 'Now come with me.' They followed Alessandro to a part of the garden where there was a photographer at the ready with his professional camera. Alessandro gave Harry instructions on where to stand then he shouted out to somebody who came quickly carrying two baby pigs that were squealing. One pig was set down near Harry's feet, the other placed in his arms.

'Now, bello mio, feed the pig yes? Look down at the pig. Do not smile. Just feed the pig.' Harry nodded then looked at Louis who was chuckling with Lottie. The pig was squirming in his arms and Harry was having trouble holding the animal. He heaved him up in his arms, worrying about the clothes. They were Gucci and very expensive. The photographer started snapping pics most of which were of Harry struggling with the piglet. Eventually, the pig smelled the food in Harry's hand and calmed down a little. Harry didn't need to act serious, he was seriously serious,worried about the piglet and the clothes. Alessandro was calling directions out to him but Harry was concentrating on keeping the pig stable. Finally, somebody took the pig from him and Alessandro came over to him.

'That was excellent 'Arry. You are a natural. Go to wardrobe. Next outfit per favore.' Harry went off with Louis and Lottie.

'How did I do?' Harry asked them a little anxiously. Louis seemed to be sniffing him.

'You smell like bacon,' Louis told him as he and Lottie burst out laughing. Harry gave him an annoyed look.

'So not funny Louis!' Harry scolded him. Louis knew how sensitive Harry was when it came to animals. Harry hurried off to wardrobe. Louis caught up with him.

'Hey hey, I'm sorry but I just had to! When I saw you with that pig all I could think 'was.....'

'Dont even say it!' Harry interrupted him. Louis was trying hard to keep a straight face but he couldn't help giggle. 'I hate you,' Harry said and Louis burst out laughing again.

The rest of the photo shoot was much of the same. Harry in different outfits with different animals. Louis snapped pics with his iPhone mostly of Harry with a baby goat that kept licking his chin and Harry screwing up his face fondly. The baby goat seemed to have taken to Harry because it was pretty docile in his arms and kept bleating and cuddling up to him.

While Harry was being photographed, Louis found himself in conversation with Alessandro and he just had to ask what was the topic of this photo shoot. Alessandro was the creative mind behind Gucci and Louis could not see the creativity in mixing animals with clothes. Alessandro smiled.

'I am creating Noah's Ark and one of them will be God and I already have a feeling of who it will be.' He winked at Louis and Louis had looked at Harry as he sat on stone stairs surrounded by baby goats and thought that yes, Harry would make the perfect God for Gucci!

X

The week in Rome passed quickly. Louis and his family became closer and Harry became family too. They settled into it easily as if time had not separated them at all. Louis was dealing with his problems beautifully. His nightmares sometimes came back but they were few and far between. His paranoia about being followed and watched by his father's people was still strong. He kept tight security around him, Harry and his family. And they let him give them security if only for his own peace of mind.

As they were checking out of the hotel, Louis' phone rang. He pulled the device out of his pants pocket and swiped it.

'Hello Leonard,' Louis said into the phone, then went silent as he listened to what Leonard was saying. Then he smiled. 'Thank you Leonard. We will be back home later today.' Louis hung up, put his phone back in his pants pocket and looked at his family, his eyes resting on Harry.

'That was Leonard,' he said. 'The Anne Styles Cancer Clinic for kids is ready. We have to go down to Doncaster and officially open it.' Harry's hands flew to his mouth.

'Oh my God,' he said from behind his fingers, his eyes tearing up. Louis was beside him is a flash.

'Hey don't cry. It's a happy day. Your mum will be honored when we open that clinic and I want you to open it with me. I want you to say a few words to honor your mother sweetheart.' Harry blinked the tears away and hugged Louis tightly.

'Thank you so much. I would love that. Thank you Lou.' Louis hugged him back, his family smiling back at them.

'You're welcome baby, so very welcome.'

 

 

x

 

It was almost a month later when Louis and Harry boarded the jet on their way to Doncaster for the official opening of the Children's Cancer Clinic that hosted his mother's name. They landed in Manchester at nine in the morning where a chauffeured car drove them to Doncaster. On the plane, Louis had told Harry that he had invited his father for the ceremony. He was pissed at Des that he hadn't told Harry about him and Marge but Des had told him that he wanted to tell him face to face and that angered Louis because he knew that Harry would be upset and this was a special day and he didn't want that asshole to ruin it for him. Upon the news that his father was going to be there, Harry had smiled and thanked Louis for taking care of everything.

They arrived at Doncaster a little after ten in the morning. Louis was nervous.

'Are you alright?' Harry asked him when Louis wouldn't stop fidgeting and wiping his hands on his suit trousers.

'Yeah. Yeah just you know being back here.' Harry kissed his cheek.

'It's all gone honey. All of it.' Louis nodded. Harry took his hand as the chauffeur turned into the cul de sac that had once been Louis' childhood home. Now, it was different. There were buildings half constructed, new buildings that would benefit the thousands of kids and teenagers of Doncaster. Louis relaxed a little when he saw that the site now resembled nothing of how it once used to be.

The chauffeur stopped in front of a building. Reporters and paps lined up each side of the red carpet that led into the Anne Styles Clinic. The chauffeur opened their door and no sooner had Louis stepped out, cameras flashed and questions where fired left and right. Louis ignored them. He reached for Harry's hand and helped him out of the car. They stood side by side both looking immaculate : Louis in a dark Versace suit and Harry decked in a pair of white loose Gucci trousers and a black Marc Jacobs shirt and let the media take pictures of them. When Louis was sure that they had gotten their pictures, he tugged on Harry's hand and led them inside. The brand new glass doors slid open and they walked inside.

Once inside, they were met by the Mayor of Doncaster, the Chief of police, the architect of the building they stood in and a young team of doctors and nurses that would be working in the cancer clinic. Louis and Harry shook hands with all of them.They were offered refreshments and waited until Des arrived.

'I'm nervous,' Harry whispered, 'but in a good way.' Louis smiled at him.

'That's good. Your mother would be so proud of you today.' Harry looked at him with a soft tender look.

'She would be equally proud of you. I...I wish she could've met you. She would've loved you Lou.' Tears glistened in Harry's eyes. Louis wrapped his arm around his waist.

'I wish I could've met her too baby,' Louis told him as he placed a kiss on his temple. 'Don't cry.' Harry quickly wiped his eyes.

'Sorry. I'm very emotional. I miss her so much.'

'It's alright honey. You have every right to be.' Louis moved to kiss him again but Harry pulled away, his eyes fixed on the door. Louis followed his gaze and saw Des and Marge walking into the lobby of the clinic. It stung Louis that Harry would not let him kiss him in front of his father but he didn't say anything as he didn't want to ruin Harry's day. His father was going to do that on his own.

Harry's mouth remained open as he watched his father actually walk into the building, aided only by a cane. They walked towards them and Marge immediately wrapped her arms around Harry.

'Darling,' she whispered, 'your dear mother, bless her soul, would be so proud. You did her very proud my boy.' Harry hugged her tightly as Louis walked over to Des and shook his hand.

'Thank you for doing this for my late wife,' he said, his voice thick. Louis kept his blue eyes fixed on him.

'I mostly did it for Harry and because I know, through him, what a great woman she was. You need to tell him about you and Marge. He's still in the dark and he needs to know or I will tell him.' Des' eyes drifted to Harry who was talking with Marge.

'I will. Afte rthe ceremony.'

'Yeah fuck up his day why don't you.'

Des diverted his eyes away from his son and they landed on Louis. 'I won't,' he promised. Louis scoffed.

 

'You always do Desmond.' Louis looked at Harry who was still talking to Marge. 'You know what's sad? That once you tell him, even if he won't like it, for your sake he's going to go along with it. He's going to pretend it's okay. He will never tell you to your face or fight with you about it.That's the kind of person your son is. Then again, he might accept it cos he's all about love and peace. You really don't deserve his love you know that right?' Des nodded but said nothing. Louis turned and walked back to Harry where he greeted Marge, then he told the Mayor that he could start the ceremony. The press where let in, not the paps, only the media that would report this event. Dan Wootan who was there reporting for The Sun was not allowed in.

The Mayor took his spot on a small podium that had been set up for the occasion. He cleared his throat. 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Today is a special day for the city of Doncaster. Generosity knows no bounds and humanity can still amaze. We are standing here today to celebrate the official opening of this clinic we are standing in that will cater to children and teenagers of Doncaster who have cancer. The treatment will be free for our little patients. But that's not only what this clinic will offer. It will offer counselling for the families of these patients, home care if needed and also, it will cater for funerals should any of our little ones pass away. All of this will be free because families that have children with cancer should not face money problem worries in such a delicate time. Here, at the Anne Styles Clinic, patients and families will be taken care of and all of this, has been made possible by the immense generosity of one man, a child of Doncaster himself. Please welcome Mr. Louis Tomlinson.' Louis smiled as he walked up to the Mayor, shook his hand and took his place on the podium. He looked out at the small crowd gathered before him.

'Having been born and bred in Doncaster, I have always kept this city close to my heart. I left Doncaster when I was eighteen but even though I left it physically, in my heart I have kept Doncaster close to me. And I always wanted to give back to my city. Today we are here to officially open The Anne Styles Cancer Clinic for children and teenagers. During the next months, we will meet again to officially open the drug rehab center and the center for abused children and teens. We will also officially open the building that will home the homeless children and teens that come from broken homes or that have kicked out of their homes. But today is the day that we open our doors to kids and teenagers and their families who have been struck by cancer. Today we are here to celebrate and commemorate a wonderful amazing woman, a woman who I had not had the pleasure to meet but whom I've come to know and admire from my partner. I will leave you and let him tell you all about her. Please welcome my partner Mr. Harry Styles.' Harry gave Louis a nervous smile but walked towards the podium. Louis squeezed his hand as he stepped off the podium. He didn't walk away but remained beside the podium, close to Harry. Harry looked at the big framed photo of his mother, smiling, her eyes bright and crinkled at the corners, fine wrinkles by her eyes, her long glossy black her down her shoulders, framing her face. Harry swallowed the lump in his throat.

'My mother passed away five years ago from ovarian cancer. She was my world and when she passed,' he paused and swallowed again. To the side, Marge dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. Harry took in a deep shuddering breath and continued:

'When she passed away, my whole world shattered. Cancer is a terrible terrible thing. Treatments cost a lot of money. The medications cost a lot of money. Equipment for my mother to be comfortable in her home during her final days cost a lot of money. I thank God for my father who paid for everything, supported my mother and tended to her needs. He supported me during my studies but I knew it was a huge toll on him too. I was only sixteen and I couldn't help financially so when my partner,' he stopped and looked at Louis who gave him a fond smile.

'So when my partner suggested opening this clinic for kids and teenagers who are sick with this terrible disease and that it would be free, I supported him right away because I know first hand what it takes to care for a person you love that has cancer. And when he suggested that the clinic will be named after my mother to honor her, well I was over the moon. Thank you Louis for honoring my mother this way. I am sure she is very proud of you. Thank you,' he said in a choked up voice. He walked off the podium, allowing Louis to place his hand on his lower back. They followed the Mayor to where there was a yellow silk bow tied to a pair of doors that led inside the clinic off the foyer. He handed Louis a pair of scissors. Louis looked at Harry.

'Together?' he asked him. Harry nodded and placed his hand over Louis' and together they cut the bow. Everyone clapped. Photos where taken. The Mayor turned to the small crowd.

'If you follow us please we can take you on a tour of the clinic.' The people all followed the Mayor and only Louis, Harry, Des and Marge where left in the foyer. Des nodded towards Louis.

'I would like a word with Harry,' he said. Harry raised his head at the mention of his name from his father's mouth.

'Me?' he asked even though his father's words were still a little slurred, his name came out perfectly clear. Louis squeezed his hand and looked at Marge.

'Marge, shall I give you a tour?' He held out his arm to Marge. She looked at Des then at Harry giving them both a smile. She looped her arm through Louis' and together they followed the crowd. An uncomfortable silence settled between them in the empty foyer. Harry fumbled with his fingers and shifted from one foot to the other. The butterflies in his stomach were attacking him and not in a good way. At twenty one he was still intimidated by his father. He sneaked a look at his dad but he wasn't looking at him. Des was looking at the picture of his late wife.

'She was so beautiful,' Des said. 'She was my life and I miss her terribly.' Harry looked at his dad feeling confused because his father had never spoken to him about anything after his mum had passed away. He only insulted him. Des took in a shaky breath and exhaled.

'She was everything to me and I don't think she is very proud of me.'Harry swallowed thickly.

'I'm sure she is dad. She loved you.' Des turned to look at Harry.

'She loved you more though.' Harry opened his mouth to say something but Des held up his hand to silence him. Harry closed his mouth. 'I lied to you,' he said quietly. Harry looked at him with a confused look.

'It wasn't true that she had to beg me to have a child. You were planned.You were planned with presicion, care and lots of love. Your mother suffered a few miscarriages before you. Three times she was pregnant and she lost them before the first trimester was even over. We had almost given up hope of having a child because each doctor we saw didn't give us much hope but we never gave up. We heard of another doctor up in Scotland and we decided to give him a chance. He put your mother on fertility tablets, gave me a diet to follow and gave us a chart to follow of dates when she was most fertile.' Des paused to compose himself because Harry could see that he was becoming emotional.

'Dad,' Harry said in a small voice, 'You don't have to. ...'

'Yes I do. You need to hear this. I was at work when she called me to tell me that she had missed a period and asked me to buy a pregnancy test and come home which of course I did. I stopped at the pharmacy to buy the test and headed home. We were so excited and nervous and scared while we waited for the test and when we looked and saw that it was positive, we cried together. We saw the doctor and he told us that everything looked good. The first trimester passed and she remained pregnant. We waited daily with bated breath for the the inevitable but you continued to grow. She was healthy and you were healthy. When you were born, we couldn't believe that we actually had a son. You were perfect. This tiny perfect human being that her and I had created. We took you home to your nursery and your mother fell in love with you as did I. We couldn't put you down. We were advised by other parents not to hold you too much as you would always want to beheld but we didn't care. You were our miracle and we wanted to hold you. You grew up into the perfect son. You were just simply perfect until....'

'Until I told you that I was gay,' Harry finished for him. Des looked at him with glassy eyes.

'A few days before you told us that you were gay, we had gotten the news that your mother had ovarian cancer and that there was not much they could do about it as it was advanced. I had learned that I was about to lose the love of my life and you told us you were gay and I directed all my anger and pain towards you. When I saw her accept you without batting an eyelash, I became angrier. The more she loved you,the more I....the more I....'

'Hated me?' Harry asked him quietly. Des let out a choked sob. He quickly covered his mouth.

'I didn't mean to Harry. I was wrong. I acted wrongly because I was angry that your mother was going to die and leave me and you gave me the perfect reason where to direct my anger. When she passed, the main reason I kicked you out was because you looked so much like her I couldn't stand looking at you without seeing her, seeing what I had lost. You were a sore gaping wound. I was depressed and sad and I wanted you away from me and I used your gayness as an excuse to keep you away.' By now Harry was staring at his father, tears falling silently on his pale cheeks.

'So....so you don't really hate me?' Harry asked him. Des wiped his teary eyes.

 

'No son I don't. When you came back home at Christmas and I saw you, with your long hair, you looked even more like her and somehow I blamed you for her cancer. Maybe if she never had you she wouldn't have had cancer. Maybe all those miscarriages had been a sign. All I knew was that I was so angry at you but Marge and your Louis said things to me about you and I had a decision to make. Either stay angry at you and lose the only part I have left of my beloved Anne or try asking your forgiveness for being so hateful towards you. You are all that I have left of her Harry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for all the wrongs I did you and for all the words I said to you? I know I don't deserve it but please son?' Harry was full on crying.

'Dad,' he sobbed. 'Dad.' Des moved closer to him.

'Can I hug you?' he asked him. Harry fell into his father's strong arms even though Des hugged him with one arm while with the other he rested heavily on his cane. Harry clung to his father for dear life.

'I...I knew it. I...I knew y-you didn't r-really hate me dad. I missed you.' Des placed a kiss on the top of his head.

'I missed you too son and I love you so much. Do you forgive me?'

'Yes dad yes of course I forgive you. I love you dad so much.' Des hugged him tighter.

'Thank you son thank you.' They hugged for another minute then Harry pulled back and wiped his eyes.

'So it's...it's alright that I'm. ...that I'm. ...'

'Gay?' Des asked. Harry looked down feeling his cheeks heat up but said nothing. Des placed his free hand on his shoulder.

'Yes son. I'm alright with it and I'm so glad you found yourself that young man. He loves you deeply.' Harry smiled shyly.

'He does. And I love him a lot too. I never knew I could love somebody as much as I love him.' Des gave him a smile.

'I'm very proud of you and I'm so sorry I hurt you and wasted so much time being mad at you.'

'It'sin the past dad. It's never too late. We all make mistakes.' Des looked down.

'Harry, there's another matter I wish to discuss with you.'

'Tell me dad. You can tell me anything.' Des looked at his son with a pleading look.

'Son, I....You don't haven't agree with what I'm about to tell you. Just know that if you're against it, I will end it. I promise. I won't jeopardize losing you.' Harry gave him a small knowing smile.

'Dad is it you and Marge?' Des' eyes went wide.

'Did Louis tell you?' he asked surprised.

'Louis knew?' Harry asked him equally surprised.

'Yes we told him when he came down to tell me about the therapy he was getting for me and the new business.'

'He didn't tell me,' Harry said.

'Don't be mad at him. He wanted me to tell you, not even Marge. He said it's my job. So if Louis didn't tell you then how?' Des asked him. Harry gave him a small smile.

'I picked on it when I was there. I mean what neighbor would take care of her best friend's husband when he was half paralyzed? I saw the devotion in Marge and I realized it because it's the same devotion I have for Louis. Marge looked at you the way I look at Louis. You can't really miss these signs of a person in love when you yourself are in love.' Des nodded but kept looking at Harry. When had his son become so intellectual?

'Are you against it? If you are against it Harry I will stop it. My main concern right now is you and building a new relationship with you.When I kicked you out, you were a child but now you are a man and I want to get to know you. I missed so much all because of my....'Harry placed his hand over his father's.

'Dad, we all make mistakes. I was hurt worse and I forgave worse. You are my father.How can I not forgive you? As for you and Marge, I need some time to get used to it. I mean mum.....' A lump choked his words off. The thought of his father with another woman that's not his mum hurt.

'Harry I will never forget your mum. You are a living breathing reminder of her. How can I ever forget her when I have you to constantly remind me of her? She was my first love. My only love.She gave me you and I will never forget her but Marge, she....she's....' Des stopped and Harry could tell that he was struggling.

'You love her dad?' Harry asked him and Des' face softened and a small smile crept on his lips.

'Yes. Yeah. Not like I loved your mother. It's different but I do.' He paused and looked at Anne's photo, the way she seemed to be smiling at them. 'Do you think she will forgive me for the way I treated you and for loving Marge?' Des asked him softly. Harry looked at his mother's photo.

'I'm pretty sure she will because mum was all about love and forgiveness and peace.'

'Just like you,' Des said his voice low and full of emotion. 'God you are so much like her.' His voice broke and he pulled Harry in for another hug. They were disturbed by Louis clearing his throat. They pulled away and looked at a smiling Louis and a tearful Marge.

'They are coming back,' Louis informed them. Harry looked at Marge and walked over to her. She looked at him as if frightened, eyes full of tears. Harry hugged her.

'It's alright Marge. Dad told me. Everything is alright now.' Marge hugged him tight.

'I'm sorry Harry,' she choked out. Harry pulled back and looked at her.

'Don't be sorry Marge. Love is Love. It is what it is but,' Harry paused,looked at his mum's photo then back at Marge. 'I'm sorry but I don't think I can ever call you mum. I only have one mum. I'm not opposed to a step-mum though and I'm glad it's you but no one will ever take my mum's place.' Marge reached out and cupped his cheek.

'My darling boy, I'm not here to take your mother's place. I felt very guilty when we discovered our feelings for each other but I love your father and I love you too very much. I hope that in due time we can be a family with your mother as our center. We will always honor her.' Harry hugged her again.

'Harry,' Des said quietly. 'I will be moving into Marge's house. I plan on marrying her in the future if you are okay with it.' Harry blinked at his father.

'I am okay with you marrying her but selling mum's home? How can you sell her house dad? That house is HER!'

'Harry I'm not selling it. I'm giving it to you.' Harry blinked again.

'What?' Des squeezed his shoulder.

'I know how much you love that house and that you still consider it home. It was decorated by your mum and I know it's your refuge, so I want you to have it. You will have a place to stay when you and Louis come to visit us.' Harry now was crying freely. Louis placed his hand on his lower back to let him know he was there for him.

'Thank you dad,' Harry said, his voice muffled by the sobs he was trying to hold back. Louis looked atDes.

'I'm proud of you. You came through for him.' Des nodded at Louis.

'Take care of my boy and thank you. For everything.' Louis reached out and shook his hand.

'You are welcome. We are family now and that's what families do. Now if you'll excuse us, we have a flight to catch back to London. We will talk again Des about the business side of things. I'll have my people contact you and we'll set up a meeting.' Des shook his hand then turned to Harry and opened his arm. Harry hugged his father tightly.

'I'll see you soon dad,' Harry said. Des clapped him on the back.

'Don't stay away too long. I have a lot to make up for.' Harry smiled and squeezed his father a little tighter.

'I won't. I promise.' He let go of his father and hugged Marge.

'Take care of him,' he whispered in her ear.

'I will darling. I will.' They said one more goodbye and Louis almost had to drag a reluctant Harry away from his dad. Once they were seated in the car and driven back to Manchester, Harry looked at Louis.

'See why I never give up on people? You and my father were the toughest two men I've had in my life. You both gave me grief but look at the both of you now! I'm so glad I never gave up on either of you because now I have the two best men in my life who love me.' He leaned in and kissed Louis.

'You bring out the best in everyone Harry. How can we say no to you? I am very happy that your father has accepted you. I am so happy it's all finally falling into place.'

'Just as it should be. Are you ready to start living our best life?' Harry asked him as he pecked his lips.

'I am sweetheart. I am.'

X

August turned out to be a hot month for England. London was sweltering and Harry had never been so glad for their swimming pool. It was the hottest day so far with temperatures as high as 39 degrees. Louis lay on a sunbed in the shade reading the Sunday newspapers while Harry swam a few laps. It wasn't even ten in the morning yet and it was blistering hot. Harry got out of the pool and walked towards Louis. He shook his head like a dog sending water flying all over Louis.

'Harry!' Louis exclaimed. 'You got me all wet!' Harry raised an eyebrow as he straddled Louis' thighs.

'Have I?' he asked him seductively. Louis slapped his wet thigh playfully.

'Get your mind out of the gutter!' Louis chastised him playfully. Harry leaned forward, droplets of water dripping off his body on to Louis'hot skin.

'What if I don't want to?' he asked him as he kissed his neck. Louis smiled and closed his eyes. 'M'horney,' Harry mumbled against his skin and Louis' dick jumped to attention. He ran his hands up Harry's thighs.

'Are you now?' Louis asked him as he cupped his semi hard dick in his swimming shorts. Harry moaned softly. 'Hmm looks like you are. What do you think we should do about it hmm?' Louis asked him as he palmed him slowly, making him harder.Harry bit his bottom lip and moaned as he rocked his hips forward on Louis' lap.

'Please Lou,' he whined as he kissed him hard,plunging his tongue into Louis' mouth, dominating him. Louis squeezed him, making him thrust in his hand. Harry pulled back and rested his forhead against Louis'. 'Please,' he mumbled.

'Get in the pool baby,' Louis told him and Harry quickly scrambled to his feet almost tripping over himself. Louis laughed because he looked like a baby giraffe trying to stand for the first time. Harry dived head first into the pool, glad for the cool water against his over heated skin. When Louis got up and walked towards the pool, he saw Harry's swimming shorts floating in the pool. Harry had swam to the far side of the pool, the part that was shaded by the palm tree. Louis dived in and swam towards him, pushing Harry's back to the side of the pool. Immediately, Harry wrapped his long legs around Louis'waist.

'God you're beautiful,' Louis said against his neck as he ran both his hands up the back of his thighs up to his bum. He cupped both his cheeks and dug his fingers into the plump flesh of his bum, spreading his cheeks and thrust forward, running his dick up Harry's crack. Harry whined a little too loudly.

'Not too loud honey, remember we are not alone.'

'Don't care. Need you Lou need you,' he whined again. Louis loved how needy and desperate Harry became when he was horny.

'Shhhhh,' Louis said against his lips as his middle finger pushed against Harry's rim. Harry pushed his hips down and Louis' finger breached him.

'Ahhh,' Harry groaned as he closed his eyes. Louis nibbled at the skin on his neck as he pulled out his finger and thrust it back in.

'You like that don't you?' Louis asked him. Harry mumbled a yes and quickened his finger in and out of Harry.

'More please,' Harry begged and Louis obliged by slipping in his index finger besides his middle finger. Harry hissed but Louis was quick to curl up his fingers and brush his prostate making Harry squeal.

'Lou God please please,' he moaned and Louis obliged once again by pressing his index finger against his prostate then tapping it a few times. Harry was a mess. A beautiful mess. He wrapped his arms around Louis' neck and started to fuck himself on his fingers causing ripples in the pool.

'Steady,' Louis ordered and Harry stilled.

'What do you need baby?' Louis asked him, his breath hot on Harry's neck.

'You,' Harry panted, 'inside me. Now. Please.' Louis didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled his fingers out of Harry, pulled himself out of his swimming shorts and lined himself up with Harry's entrance. He pushed inside Harry slowly, Harry whining and moaning with each inch Louis pushed in. When he was fully inside Harry he stilled, loving the feel of Harry so warm and tight around him.

'Please move,' Harry whined in his neck. Louis placed his hands against the side of the pool on either side of Harry. Harry had his arms and legs wrapped around Louis like a koala. Louis pulled out of him and pushed back in, slowly but deep making Harry clench tight around him. He could feel Harry's heart beating wildly against his chest.

'Hold tight baby,' Louis told him as yet again he pulled out and rammed back in making Harry cry out. He picked up a rhythm, pulling out and slamming back inside him, hoping and praying that none of the maids would come out into the garden now even though they were shaded by the palm tree. Still, Harry was a bit vocal. Louis picked up speed and he could feel himself nearing the edge.

'Baby I'm close,' Louis told him.

'Same,' Harry said breathlessly. A few more thrusts had both of them coming within minutes of each other. They remained clinging to each other, breathing hard, the water lapping around them. Ever so gently, Louis pulled out of Harry and helped him put his legs down. He  
reached for his swim trunks and helped him put them on.

'Better now?'Louis asked him.

'Mhmm,' Harry said drowsily. Louis kissed his cheek.

'You need a nap sweetheart?'

'Yeah. I can't feel my legs,' Harry said. Louis chuckled and helped him out of the pool to the shaded sunbed. He lay a towel down for him and Harry lay down on it. As Harry was about to doze off, his phone rang. He huffed and picked it up.

'It'sAlessandro,' he said, perking up all sleep forgotten.

'Well answer it,' Louis urged him. Harry swiped the phone.

'Hello?'he said and listened. 'Really?' he asked after a while. He nodded. Hummed. 'Thank you so much,' he finally said and hung up.

'Well?'Louis asked him. Harry smiled, popping his dimples.

'I am the new face of Gucci's 2019 Tailoring Campaign. I got it Lou. I got it.' Louis hugged him tightly and kissed his face.

'Oh my God I knew it. I knew it. I am so proud of you baby. So proud.' Louis kissed him fiercely and Harry kissed him back equally fierce.He couldn't believe it but he had done it! He was the new face of Gucci!

 

X

 

Later that evening, they went out to dinner with Walter and Gloria on the roof garden restaurant of a five star hotel in Park Lane. Gloria was heavily pregnant just a few days shy of full term.

The night was humid but a nice breeze was blowing off of the River Thames. They sipped chilled Prosecco and had prawns in garlic with tartar sauce as starters. Conversation flowed easily between them until Harry noticed that Gloria's face was a little pinched.

'Gloria are you alright?' Harry asked her .Gloria gave him a small smile.

'Yes. I've had this pinch in my side all day,' she complained. Walter turned his worried expression on her.

'Sweetheart are you alright? Do you want to go home?' Gloria rolled her eyes fondly at him but spoke to Harry.

'See? This is why I don't tell him anything. He worries right away.' She turned to look at Walter and touched his face. 'I'm fine stop worrying.' Walter placed a kiss on her forehead.

'Of course I worry about you and the little one,' he told her and Gloria rolled her eyes as she laughed she winced again and held her side. Before Walter could say anything again, she put her hand up.

'Don't say it!I'm fine. This baby is just too big for me and its sitting right under my ribs hence this pain.' Walter looked at her in a worried expression.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes Walt I'm sure,' she told him, a fond smile on her lips. She looked at Louis. 'Does he baby you like this?'

'God no!' Louis and Walter said together. They all burst out laughing. They continued with their conversations but Harry who was sitting in front of Gloria was worried because she kept wincing often but if she said she was alright, who was he to contradict her? He watched her as she rubbed her swollen stomach and Harry couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He would never be a husband or a father! He had traded those for a life with Louis and really he shouldn't even be thinking about it because like Louis said, they were almost like a married couple.

Almost!

That was the keyword. He was almost HIS husband but almost did not matter because where Louis was concerned, Harry had no say or right over him. His mother did because Harry was just his partner. The state did not recognize him as anything but a house mate, a live in partner.

Harry was brought out of his thoughts by a cry from Gloria as she doubled over and gripped her swollen tummy. Walter was on her in a second, touching her, holding her.

'Sweetheart what is it?' Gloria was panting, her face twisted in pain. Before shes poke, another spasm shook her body. She gripped the table cloth in her fist. She breathed through her nose.

'Walt,' she said, 'my water just broke!' Walter stood up, pushing the chair back with force that it toppled over, startling the other guests. He looked at the waiter.

'Call an ambulance. My wife is going into labor!'Harry got up and knelt down beside her.

'What do you need?' he asked her. Gloria was panting.

'I need them to get it out,' she whined. 'It hurts so much.' Walter looked lost, not knowing what to do. Harry looked up at him.

'You might need to rub her lower back,' Harry advised him but Walter was panicking really badly. Louis was trying to calm him but in truth, Louis was panicking as much as him if not more. Harry shook his head.

'You know the breathing technique?' he asked her and Gloria nodded as she breathed deep and slow. 'I'm going to rub your back okay it will help ease the pain.' Gloria nodded again so Harry reached out and rubbed soothing circles in her lower back while Walter and Louis freaked the fuck out.

'I need the hospital bag. Oh my God I need to get the hospital bag. She wasn't due for another two weeks oh my God,' Walter said, pacing back and forth. 'Where is the damn ambulance?' Gloria shook her head and looked at Harry.

'That's the man who said he was ready for this and look at him panicking as if he's the one about to push a human being out of his body!' Harry chuckled and looked at Louis who was also asking where the damn ambulance was and threatening to sue them if they didn't get there right away.

'We need the hospital bag!' Walter growled.

'We'll get it for you,' Louis offered. Walter ran a hand through his hair as he looked at Gloria.

'Honey are you alright?' Gloria gave him a killer look.

'Do I look alright to you Walter?' she spat at him as another contraction doubled her over. 'Its splitting me in half!'

'Breathe,' Harry told her as he continued to rub her back and breathed with her.

'I'll go get your bag,' Loui soffered again and Harry knew that he wanted to get the hell out of there. Walter looked as if he was ready to cry.

'I have a bag at my office and one at home,' he told Louis.

'You have two hospital bags?' he asked him curiously. Walter looked at him as if he was just a child and needed a lenghty explanation.

'Well I didn't know if she'd go into Labor while I was at work or home now did I? I needed to be prepared!' Walter spat at him. Louis chuckled.

'Bet you never thought she'd be about to pop in a restaurant now did you?' Before Walter could tell him to fuck off, two paramedics with a stretcher rushed in. Harry got up and made way for the paramedics to take care of Gloria who was having more contractions now. One of the paramedics looked at Walter.

'Are you the husband?' Walter nodded looking dumbstruck. 'Her contractions are coming quick. We have to go now unless you want her to give birth here.' Walter nodded again. Louis clapped him on the back.

'Goon Walt, you're about to become a daddy. Text me the hospital and we'll bring the stuff over.' Walter simply nodded not really hearing what Louis had said. He followed the paramedics, holding Gloria's hand. Louis turned to Harry.

'Let's go to his house and get him the bag. His house keeper will give it to us. You were great with her baby,' Louis told him as he led them inside where he paid the bill then took the elevator down to the basement.

X

Half an hour later, Harry and Louis rushed to the hospital and straight up to the maternity ward. They asked the nurse at the reception desk for Mr. Lynch but she told them that they were in the delivery suite and that they had to wait in the waiting area. Louis informed her that they had the hospital bag and she told them that she will page a midwife to let them know. Louis and Harry sat in the plush chairs of the private hospital that Walter had brought Gloria to.

'Hey,'Louis said to Harry, 'you've been awfully quiet. Is something the matter?' Harry shook his head. How could he tell Louis how much he longed for a child of their own? That he was jealous of Gloria and Walter? How could he tell Louis that he wanted, needed more without sounding selfish? Louis turned in his chair to look at Harry and noticed that he looked sad.

'Baby what is it? You know you can tell me anything right?' Harry nodded but he knew that he couldn't tell him everything. He couldn't tell him about this.

'Its nothing Lou. I just um go scared and worried for her. It was a surprise.' Louis wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him to his side.

'You were so brave. You knew what to do, unlike us. I nearly shit myself and Walter was beside himself with panic.' Louis chuckled. Harry gave him a small smile because he didn't feel like smiling and he hated himself for acting this way. Louis had been straight up with him about this matter from the beginning and he had accepted it. Harry shrugged.

'It was nothing. I remember it from a first aid class we had in school. One of them was : what to do if a woman went into labor at an unexpected time.' Louis placed a kiss on the side of his head.

'That class paid off. You were amazing.' They sat in silence, Harry lost in thoughts. The door into the waiting room slid open with a hiss and Walter stood there in hospital shrubs crying. Louis and Harry bolted from their seats and ran to him, Harry's face ashen, eyes wide searching Walter's face for something, anything as to why Walter was crying.

'Walt what is?' Louis asked him, panic stricken. 'How is Gloria? The baby? Walt talk to me?' Walter sniffed and Harry held his breath. Walter opened his mouth and a sob came out. He gulped.

'It's....it's a girl. A wee tiny girl. Oh my God I have a daughter! I'm a dad!' Louis and Harry sagged in relief. Louis clapped him on the back as Harry's eyes welled up.

'Congratulations mate!' Louis told him relieved and clapped him on the back again. 'For a moment you scared the shit out of me. How's Gloria?' Tears still streamed down Walter's cheeks.

'She's fine. She's tired and sore but they are both fine. You should see her Louis. She's so tiny. I held her and she fits in one of my hands. She's perfect and beautiful and Gloria was amazing. That woman is my hero. She's fucking wonder woman! The things she did in their to give life to our girl.' Then he turned to Harry and wrapped him in a hug. 'Thank you for helping her when I was too chicken shit to do it. Thank you.' He pulled back and wiped his eyes.

'I'll come get you soon so you can see them. The bag?' Louis handed him the bag.

'We'll be waiting.'

X

True to his word, Walter came back to get them. He led them down a carpeted corridor that had pale yellow walls and Disney characters on the painted on the walls. Harry's heart squeezed tightly in his chest. Walter stopped in front of a closed door and turned to look at them.

'Ready?' he asked and they both nodded. He pushed open the door and the room was swathed in a soft yellow light coming from a lampshade on the bedside table. It didn't look anything like a hospital room hence the perks of being rich and can afford a top class private hospital. Gloria sat in bed holding a small bundle in her arms wrapped in a pink blanket. They approached the bed and they saw the cutest tiny little face, button nose, chubby cheeks and rose puckered lips. Harry had to put a hand over his mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to spill out at the sight of that tiny angel in Gloria's arms. Walter stood beside them and smiled proudly.

'Meet Serenity Jade Marie Lynch.' Louis smiled at Gloria and Walter.

'Congratulations,' he said. Harry kept his eyes on the baby but was highly aware of Louis' reaction. He was aloof. 'She's....pretty and tiny.' Harry leaned closer. Fair hair peeked out from under her tiny pink beanie.

'She's so beautiful,' he said. 'So perfect. Congratulations.' Harry was so intent looking at Serenity that he missed the exchanged looked between Louis, Walter and Gloria .Gloria smiled at him.

'Would you like to hold her Harry?' Harry's face lit up.

'Can I?' he asked.

'Sure you can,' Walter told him. 'Come sit here on the rocking chair.' Louis grit his teeth together hard. He knew what Walter was doing and he didn't like it. Harry sat down in the rocking chair and held out his arms as Walter took the baby from Gloria and placed her in Harry's arms. She was small and soft and warm and smelled of baby and Harry felt as if his heart was going to explode from love and endearment.

'Hello little one,' Harry cooed. Louis grit his teeth harder till his molars made a grinding sound. 'Welcome to the world sweetheart.' Walter looked at Louis and raised both his eyebrows at him indicating Harry with a nod of his head, a silly grin plastered on his face. Harry rocked the baby gently and Louis even though he fought against the feeling, couldn't help but melt a little at the sight of Harry with that tiny thing in his arms.

Admit it, it makes your heart feel and long for it doesn't it? Seeing him like that with a baby in his arms but you can never do it. Bad blood runs in your veins and you don't want to pass HIS genes to an innocent child now do you?his subconscious piped up. His fingers curled into fists. Damn Walter! Louis cleared his throat.

'Harry, we should go. Gloria needs rest.' Harry raised his head and met Louis' eyes. They were dark. Harry's stomach plummeted to his toes.

'Y-yes of course,' he said, making to get up but Walter put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him seated.

'Wait. Gloria and I have something to ask you Harry.' Harry looked from Louis to Walter to Gloria who was smiling sweetly at him. Harry looked at Walter expectantly.

'What?' he asked.

'Well Gloria and I discussed this a while ago and we agreed on wanting to ask you if you would be Serenity's Godfather.' Harry's mouth opened in shock surprise. Louis tensed. Harry looked from Walter to Louis. Did he look angry?

'So what do you say?' Walter asked him. He wasn't unaware of Louis' reaction. Harry looked back at Walter.

'I...I'd love to. I'm honored,' he said in a soft voice. Gloria smiled at Walter.

'I told you he's accept.'

'You sure did honey,' Walter told her.

'Walt can I talk to you for a minute?' Louis told him, voice flat and hard. Walter nodded and they stepped outside in the corridor. When the door closed, Louis turned on him.

'What the fuck are you playing at?' he hissed at him. Louis' tone didn't phase Walter. He had been expecting this reaction from him and he was too happy to let Louis spoil his mood.

'I'm doing something you clearly have no intention of doing. I can't give that boy a baby but I can make him a father of sorts,' Walter told him calmly.

'That's not your fucking place,' Louis growled lowly.

'Serenity is my daughter and we get to choose her Godfather and we wanted Harry,' Walter told him casually. Louis'anger was rising. He hated that Walter was doing this, using his child to entice Harry.

'You could've asked me first,' Louis hissed. Walter chuckled.

'Harry is his own person. He doesn't need your permission Louis. He's a good lad and Gloria and I want him to be Serenity's Godfather. It has nothing to do with you.' Louis tried hard to control his temper.

'Yes it has. You just said so yourself. That you are giving him something I am denying him.'

'That boy wants kids Louis. Seeing you won't make him a father the least I can do for him is make him my daughter's Godfather. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my family.'Walter turned and entered the room, leaving Louis fuming. It took a few deep breaths and trying to ignore his subconscious that beat him mercilessly for him to finally open the door and go back into the room. Harry was still cradling Serenity in his arms and it made Louis' stomach clench hard.

'Harry,' he said not meaning to sound stern, 'time to go.' Harry nodded, got up, placed a kiss on Serenity's head and handed her back to Gloria. He looked from her to Walter.

'Thank you so much,' he told them. Walter clapped him on the back.

'Something happens to us, she's your responsibility kid,' Walter told him, giving him a wink. They said their goodbyes and they left. Louis walked hurriedly towards the elevator in utter silence. The ride to the underground parking was a silent one and Harry felt edgy. His stomach fluttered nervously. Louis unlocked the car and they got in. Silence. They strapped their seat belts. Silence. Louis turned on the engine and the headlights.Silence. He pulled out of the underground onto the street. Silence. Harry felt like he was going to pass out from anxiety.

'Did I do something wrong?' he asked in a low voice. Silence. Louis' subconscious played up.

No you didn't. He is doing something wrong.

Harry twisted his fingers in lap. 'Are you mad at me?' he asked again, his voice so low it was barely audible in the car. Louis subconscious giggled.

He's not mad at you! He's mad at Walter for giving you something he can't give you and he's mad at himself that he cannot find the balls to give it to you. He doesn't want to spread daddy's bad seed!

His subconscious now laughed like a villian in a horror movie. Louis'grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles where white,his jaw clenched tight. Harry noticed all the tiny details.

'Louis,I-I'm so sorry. I-I shouldn't have accepted.' Silence.

Yes, remain silent and let him take the blame for your shit. Let him sit there afraid and trembling instead of reassuring him that he didn't do anything wrong. Harry looked down at his lap and worried about what he had done. How could he have been so stupid and accepted? He knew how Louis felt about kids!

They arrived home in utter silence. They got out of the car and Harry followed Louis up to their bedroom still in silence. Louis went straight into the bathroom and slammed the doors hut. Harry felt utterly destroyed. He undressed quickly, put on at-shirt over his boxers and got into bed. A few minutes after, Louis emerged in just his boxers. He turned the lights off and got in bed,his back to Harry. Harry hated this. He hated Louis not talking to him. He hated that Louis was mad at him. Harry turned on his side facing Louis' back. He slid closer to him but didn't touch him.

'I'm sorry Lou,' he said again his voice choked and on the verge of tears.

Don't sleep angry at him. He didn't do anything. Don't let him sleep thinking he upset you,his subconscious chided him. Louis sighed heavily. Yes, he was mad and angry but at himself. At his stubborness. At his inability to marry Harry and give him children. He felt hurt that Walter hadn't consulted him about asking Harry to be Godfather to their baby. He turned around and faced Harry and Harry's sad face made his heartache. Louis opened his arms.

'Come here,' he told him. Harry scooted closer and settled in Louis' arms that were now wrapped around him. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

'You didn't do anything and I'm not mad at you,' Louis told him softly. Harry didn't look at him.

'You were angry and you didn't talk to me,' he said and the words hit Louis where it hurt.

'I'm sorry. It's not your fault.' This time Harry looked at Louis and he could just make out his face in the darkness of their room.

'If you don't want me to be her Godfather I won't,' Harry offered and again, his words hit Louis where it hurt because Harry was willing to do anything for him to see him happy even sacrifice his own happiness. Louis leaned closer and kissed him gently.

'No don't. You will make a wonderful God at her to her.' Harry cupped his cheek loving the feel of Louis' harsh stubble underneath his fingertips.

'Are you sure?'

'I'm sure,' Louis assured him.

And two weeks later, Louis regretted those words. He was away at work early on a Saturday. He had to go into the office for a meeting. He meant to stay only for an hour or two. The weekends he liked to spend with Harry and since Harry was starting back at University in a few days, he wanted to make the most of their time.

As soon as the meeting was over, he drove his Maserati home. Saturdays he always took one of his cars and he liked to drive himself. Besides, he was taking Harry to a place he had found on the internet, somewhere on the outskirts of London famous for wild and exotic flowers. Harry wanted to check out what they had and who was Louis to deny him that?

On his way home, he made a detour to Primrose Bakery in Covent Garden to get Harry his favorite blueberry muffins. He really liked to surprise him with little things. As soon as he purchased the muffins, he got back into his Maserati and headed home. He didn't bother putting the car in the garage since he was going to use it again. He got the bag of goodies and opened the door.

'Honey I'm home,' he yelled then froze when he heard the screech of a baby crying. His blood turned to ice. Louis walked into the living room, following the horrendous screeching noise and found a panicked Harry holding a bawling Serenity. His eyes bulged out of his face at the sight that greeted him!

'What the fuck is this?' Louis said, his voice low and deadly calm. Harry looked at him panicked and frightened.

'Lou,' he breathed, 'I'm so sorry. Walter dropped her off. Just for today. Please don't be mad.' Harry rocked the baby gently. 'Shh Shh sweetheart it's alright. It's alright little darling.' He looked at Louis again who had a face that looked like a thunderstorm awaiting to happen. Harry gulped.

'They...He will um he will pick her up tomorrow morning!'

'Not gonna fucking happen. I'm gonna call him right now so he can come get his belongings.' Louis pulled out his phone.

'Louis stop. Please,' Harry told him. 'Gloria is not well. She is um stressed. She has a little post natal depression and he's just taking her away for the day.' Louis glowered at him.

'And that screeching howling thing is going to give ME depression. No Harry absolutely not. I'm calling him to come get her.'

'Louis please. I'll keep her out of your way I promise. You won't even know she's here. She's crying because she wants to feed and Judy is making her a bottle. She will be quiet soon. Please. Gloria needs a break.' Louis' eyes nearly bulges out of their sockets.

'Gloria needs a fucking break? Walter should've gotten a fucking nanny and YOU,' he said pointing a finger at Harry, 'You should've asked me if that...it...she....could stay here.' Judy walked in with a bottle in her hand and saw the murderous look on Louis' face. She handed Harry the bottle and he quickly stuck it in Serenity's mouth cutting off her screeching. Silence descended on the room.

'Good morning Sir,' Judy said. 'Coffee?'

'NO!' he roared. Judy quickly exited the room. Harry sat down feeding Serenity. Harry looked at him with pleading eyes.

'I'm sorry I didn't ask. I didn't have time to ask. Walter just dropped her here. I couldn't say no.' Harry looked down at the baby peacefully sucking on her bottle. Louis stood there fuming, steam almost coming out of his ears.

'What the fuck am I supposed to do all day why you play daddy?'

'We can still do things.....'

'Like what? Fucking change diapers?' Louis growled.

'We'll do whatever you want once I put her down to sleep. I put a play pen in our room.'

'I don't fucking think so. She's not sleeping in our room'

'But Lou...'

'I don't fucking care Harry. I don't want to hear her or see her so make sure you keep her quiet and out of my fucking way.' He turned and stormed off towards his study. Harry heard the loud slamming of the door and Louis mumble loudly :

'I fucking hate kids!'

Harry smiled at her. 'He's only joking sweetheart.

X

Louis stayed out of Harry's way all day and only made his way upstairs late that evening. He ate dinner alone. Harry kept his promise and stayed out of his way too and kept the baby quiet. Louis trudged up to their room and when he opened the door, the bedroom was dark. He turned on the light and it was empty, the play pen gone. The anger inside him stirred again. How dare Walter disrupt their day like this? Louis walked back out into the semi dark landing and looked down the corridor. The guest bedroom at the very end of the hall that was farthest away from their bedroom had a light on. He walked towards it and the door stood slightly ajar. He peeked in and saw Harry cleaning the baby, putting on a fresh diaper and dressing her in a pink onsie. He looked so serene and peaceful. The way he handled the tiny baby you would think that he had half a dozen kids.

'There now,' Harry cooed at her. 'Full tummy, clean diaper, warm onsie now sleep time because honey I'm exhausted.' The baby squeaked and Louis braced himself for more screeching but Harry rocked her slowly and began to sing to her.

'Is love so fragile, and the heart so hollow? Shatter with words impossible to follow. Saying I'm fragile I try not to be, I search only for something I can't see. I have my own life and I am stronger than you know. But I carry this feeling when you walked into my house, that you won't be walking out the door.Still I carry this feeling when you walked into my house that you won't be walking out the door. Lovers forever, face to face. My city my mountains stay with me stay. I need you to love me, I need you today. Give to me your leather, take from me my lace.'

Louis stood transfixed, hearing Harry's beautiful voice, so deep, slow yet soft, that baby in his arms was falling asleep to his singing. His heart did something, something he couldn't understand and his subconscious whispered.

Be courageous. Be brave! You can give him one.

Louis turned away and walked back to their empty bedroom. He closed the door and hated the fact that Harry wasn't there. He sat on the edge of the bed, his mind full of thoughts and questions : could I father a child ? Should I father a child? Do I want to father a child? His mind screamed out NO but his heart whispered that maybe he could. He huffed and got into bed, turned off the lampshade and tried to get comfortable but the bed was too cold and too empty. How had he ever slept alone? He tossed and turned, his mind unable to shut down.

He finally gave in to the fact that he couldn't sleep without Harry beside him and he wasn't going to let some two week old tiny human being take his love away and deprive him of sleep. He threw the duvet off him and got up, opened the door and padded down the hall to the bedroom that was occupied by Harry to accommodate the tiny person. The door was still ajar, the soft light spilling out into the corridor.The room was silent. No singing and no crying. Louis took that as a good sign. He peeked in and saw Harry sleeping on the bed, the duvet hanging off the edge of the bed. Louis pushed the door wider and tiptoed inside. He peeked inside the play pen and the tiny human that had taken Harry away from him for a whole day was sleeping with a rather big pacifier in her mouth, rosy cheeks and hands curled into tiny fists. Then he turned to his baby who was sleeping, his curls messy, lips a little parted. Louis climbed in behind him and pulled the duvet over them. Harry stirred and opened his sleepy eyes a little bit.

'I'm sorry Lou,' Harry mumbled sleepily. 'I'm so sorry.' Louis pulled him closer and placed a kiss on the back of his neck.

'It's alright baby. Sleep. She wore you out.' Harry snuggled closer and and closed his eyes. Louis fell asleep to Harry's breathing and the steady thumping of his heart against his chest. Before he was totally dragged under by fatigue, his subconscious sniggered sarcastically.

 

Baby 1 - Tomlinson 0.

X

The months rolled by and soon it was the beginning of December. The weather had turned rather cold with temperatures dropping below zero.Louis and Harry had been out shopping at Harrods for their first Christmas tree and Christmas decorations for their new home. Harry had convinced Louis to get the biggest Christmas tree Harrods had to offer along with lights, baubles, wreaths, hollies and other Christmas decorations. This Christmas was the first one in their new home and the first one they were going to have with both their families. Harry was all set out to make the perfect Christmas!

'Lou, I want to throw you a birthday party,' Harry said out of the blue as they were decorating the Christmas tree which they had put up in their living room. Christmas music was playing around the house, the fire place was on and Harry and Judy had been baking cookies and cupcakes all morning so the house smelled of baked goods. Harry was wearing his Santa hat. Louis took a sip of his tea as he handed Harry a red bauble to go on the tree.

'Harry my birthday falls on Christmas Eve. Everyone will be excited for Christmas not my birthday.' Harry hung the bauble then looked at Louis.

'Which is why I was thinking of having you party on the twenty third instead of the twenty fourth. I mean your mum and siblings will stay here for Christmas and my dad and Marge and her kids are coming to stay with us too so I figured we'd invite our friends and have a party on the eve of your birthday. Marc and Ed will be over from L.A for the holidays so it would be nice to have them over. Can I please?' Louis mulled over it then he gave Harry a smile.

'Oh why not. I have many reasons to celebrate my thirty third year on this planet. Go crazy.' Harry clapped his hands like a baby seal.

'I will start planning tomorrow,' he told him happily. Louis wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him in fora kiss.

'Get a party planner sweetheart,' Louis suggested but Harry shook his head.

'No I want to plan it all myself. Maybe I can borrow Leonard?' he asked.

'Sure,' Louis told him. 'And Harry, I want you to have my card for the expenses,'

'No,'Harry told him firmly. 'I'm paying for this. I still have money left from what Marc paid me.' Louis was about to protest but Harry silenced him with a kiss.

X

The day of Louis' birthday party had finally arrived. Along with the Christmas decorations,Harry had added birthday decorations : red and gold streamers with HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS written on them in green. He had put up red,gold and green balloons everywhere. Harry kept the same color theme as their Christmas decorations. Harry had ordered red roses and gold sprayed roses which were in vases all around the house. The doors that led out on to the garden where open, even though it was cold. The trees outside where decorated with white fairy lights, the steps leading down into the garden had red poinsetta flowers in gold pots on each step along with red candles lining both sides of the steps. Inside, the tables and chairs were draped in red material with gold ornaments and every doorway had green wreaths and hollies adorning it along with mistletoe in every doorway. The house looked cozy, festive and welcoming.

Louis' mother and siblings had arrived on the twenty second and had taken up three of the bedrooms upstairs. Harry was thankful that they had actually bought this house with so many bedrooms. His father, Marge, her kids and their kids had arrived that morning. His father and Marge where also staying at their house but Marge's kids and their families had been put up at the Hilton and had Angus at their disposal.

Harry had told Louis not to come down until everything was ready. By seven in the evening everything was ready. The caterers where in the kitchen setting up the food and drinks along with three servers. Judy, her brother David, Angus and Leonard had been given the night off and invited to the party.

Harry was in the bedroom with Louis getting dressed. Louis wore a black Tom Ford suit and a light pink shirt underneath open at the collar. Harry went for a burgundy Alexander McQueen suit with silver embroidery at the cuffs and pants hems. He looked gorgeous and the dark burgundy of the material contrasted nicely with his pale skin. He ran his fingers through his unruly curls and simply let them be. Louis came up behind him.

'You look amazing tonight,' he told him as he looked at him through the mirror. Harry smiled at him then turned around and pecked his lips in a loving kiss.

'Not as half as amazing as you. You look gorgeous and I'm so glad you're mine.' Louis leaned in for another kiss, this time longer but gentle. When he pulled back, Louis caressed his cheek.

'Thank you for everything Harry,' he said. 'I'm very nervous.' Harry chuckled.

'Nervous? Why?' Louis shrugged one shoulder.

'I just am. Never had a birthday party before. Never had a partner with me during a birthday before or a family. Now I seem to have everything and sometimes it scares me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to wake up and all of this will begone.' Harry cradled his face in both his ridiculously large hands.

'Hey hey don't think that honey. None of this is going to go away. It is all yours. I'm yours. Your family is yours. This happiness is yours. All of it is yours and its not going away sweetheart. Now none of this yeah. I'm excited for you to see what I did for your birthday. Are you ready? Guests should start arriving soon.' Louis nodded, pecked his lips again, checked himself one more time in the mirror and took Harry's hand, letting him lead him downstairs.

The house looked like a fairy tale castle ready fora ball. All the birthday decorations matched their Christmas decorations in shades of red, shiny gold and green. The banister was draped in green wreaths with red velvet bows and fairy lights. As they went down the wide staircase, Louis could see that there were flowers, candles and fairy lights everywhere. It was warm and homey and Louis' heart suddenly felt too big for his chest. He took in a deep breath to contain his emotions. As they made it downstairs he could see his mother, his siblings, Des, Marge, her kids and their kids, Maggie, Judy, Leonard, David and Angus waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. Harry squeezed his hand because he could feel him trembling. Once they made it down stairs, his siblings were on him, hugging him, kissing him and wishing him a happy birthday. Then he was in his mother's arms and he allowed himself for a brief moment to feel like a kid again.

'Happy birthday my beautiful boy,' his mother said in a choked up voice. She kissed his cheeks.

'Thank you mum,' Louis whispered, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. He stood up and hugged everyone else, shaking hands with Des, Angus, Leonard and David. They went into the lounge and where they were served chilled champagne while Michael Buble' played in the background. They chatted and Louis opened gifts from his family and extended family that was made up of his long time employees. He was glad to receive ordinary gifts like cologne, ties,a mug that said "BEST BOSS" and socks even though they were designer socks!Louis had never felt so happy and so grateful in all of his thirty three years.

Soon the guests started to arrive : Niall and Shawn, Liam and Zayn, Anthony, Lynn, Marc and Ed, Walter and Gloria and a few other people who Harry knew Louis would love to have at his home celebrating his birthday. It was an intimate party which Harry had been aiming for all along. Harry was happy seeing Louis happy,laughing, eating, drinking and surrounded by the people who mattered to him. Louis was actually glowing as Harry watched him throw his head back and laugh at something Niall told him.

'Well done on an amazing party,' Marc told him as he handed Harry a glass of Prosecco. His gaze followed Harry's and they landed on Louis. Marc sighed. 'I honestly don't know how you did it but you transformed that man totally. He is SO happy. He is radiating happiness and Louis has never, in all the years I have known him, radiated happiness. He had always been grouchy and a moody son of a bitch.' Harry smiled fondly at Marc, his eyes still on Louis.

'He just needed lot sof love, patience and understanding. He's not difficult to love. He used to think he was and I admit, I struggled but I knew he was worth it. I knew that there was another Louis underneath the Louis that he allowed everyone to see and I am so glad you all get to see this side of him.' Marc smiled.

'You did wonderfully. I knew him for along time and I never thought I would see this transformation in him. I'm baffled but so very happy he found you Harry even though both you and that bastard haven't worn my clothing for this occasion!' Marc said pretending to be offended. Harry laughed. He leaned closer to Marc.

'Let me let you in on a secret. When I went to meet Alessandro Michele, I wore your clothing!' Marc faked a horrified gasp, placing his hand on his heart.

'You naughty boy you! What a rebel walking into Gucci HQ decked in Marc Jacobs! I'm honoured. Tell me, did Mr Michele squirm seeing me all over you?'Harry laughed again.

'He squirmed,' he said, entertaining Marc. Marc grinned.

'Good. I love to see a man squirm,especially my man.' Marc looked hungrily at Ed who was talking to Liam and Zayn. 'Hmmm and let me tell you Harry, that my man can squirm.' Harry placed his hands on his ears.

'Okay alright eww too much unneeded info on my best friend!' Marc laughed loudly. Harry turned to look at Marc.

'You love him right? You're not just passing time with him till someone better comes along right?' Marc's face went serious, his eyes remained focused on Ed.

'I do love him Harry and it scares me because I have never loved anyone like him before.' Harry smiled.

'Scary is good. It means you're afraid of losing him. Ed is trustworthy. He won't run Marc. You're safe with him.' Marc turned to look at Harry.

'I hope so because if he leaves me....'

'He won't! ' Harry cut him off. 'He's just as scared as you. He is happy with you. Trust in that.' Marc smiled and hugged Harry tightly.

'Oi what are you doing wrapped around my man?' Louis asked, interrupting their hug. Marc rolled his eyes.

'Not everything is about YOU Lewis! ' Marc said jokingly. Louis grinned.

'Today it is and I would thank you to keep your filthy paws off my man!' Marc scoffed.

'Alright Danny Zucko, I'll keep my hands off your Sandra Dee!' He winked at Harry and went off to where Ed was still chatting to Liam and Zayn. Harry turned to Louis.

'Are you having fun?' Louis looked at him with pure adoration.

'I'm having the time of my life,' he purred and Harry just had to roll his eyes.

'Will you stop with the movie references?' Louis smirked.

'Your fault. You keep making me watch your sappy movies.'

'And you love them,' Harry said.

'I love you more,' Louis purred again as he kissed him tenderly. Harry smiled into the kiss.

'Sap,' he whispered against Louis' lips.

'Sap for you,' he whispered back.

'I have a birthday present for you,' Harry told him quietly. Louis looked at him.

'I thought we agreed that you would throw me a party but no present.' Harry smirked at him, popping a dimple and moved his lips to Louis' ear.

'It's free and trust me you are going to want this present,' Harry told him seductively, his hot breath washing over his ear and neck. Louis shivered. He pulled away from Louis, winked at him and walked towards the kitchen, swaying his hips a little too much, knowing fully well what he was doing to Louis.

After a few minutes, the lights dimmed down and a server came out rolling a three tier birthday cake with thirty three candles lit on top. Harry was walking beside the server, his face lit in pure joy. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday to Louis and Louis gulped, trying to push down all the emotions swelling up in him and the nervousness and excitement regarding one thing he had to do before this party was over. He looked at the beloved faces around him. These were people that he loved and people that loved him. His eyes came to finally rest on Harry, smiling, singing and Louis knew.He knew with certainty that he was about to do the right thing.Harry motioned him over and he made himself move and stand by his man, surrounded by family and friends. The singing stopped. Louis gulped again not really wanting to cry in front of everyone. Harry leaned close and he could smell him and his heart swelled again. This was it.

'Make a wish,' Harry told him. Louis closed his eyes and wished. Yes, he wished for courage and strength to do this. He opened his eyes and blew the candles then cut the cake and everyone cheered and clapped. The lights went up again and a server handed everyone flutes of champagne and Louis knew he had to make a speech,say something to his people. He took a healthy gulp of champagne for courage. Everyone quieted down. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

'Two years ago, I had nothing. All I had was a luxurious house, an established business, a good reputation and lots of money. But I never realized how lonely I was and how all that I had didn't matter until I met Harry.' Murmurs of "awwww" went around the room. Harry blushed but smiled.

'Two years later, I have everything a man could ever wish for. I have a luxurious home, I have an extended business, I have a better reputation, I have more money but they don't mean much compared to what I have acquired along the way. I have acquired a partner,' he looked at Harry.

'I have acquired a family,' he looked at his mum and siblings.

' Ihave acquired an extended family,' he looked at Des, Marge and her kids.

'I have also acquired friends,' he looked at Niall, Shawn and Liam and Zayn, Marc and Ed, Walter and Gloria and Anthony.

'I could not be happier. Or so I thought. I seek to acquire more. I seek to become happier.' He paused and looked all around, his eyes stopping on Harry.

'It's all because of you,'he said addressing Harry. 'Its all because of you that I have all this today, that I am so happy. You came into my life two years ago and you didn't only change me. You rebuilt me. You demolished all that was there and you built me up brand new. You gave me what I didn't know I was missing. You gave me love, happiness, courage, strength.You gave me safety. You gave me security. You gave me refuge. You held me together each time I fell apart. You gave me the gift of forgiveness and you were my light in the darkness. You are the lighthouse that guides me home whenever I get lost. My anchor. You made a home for me, not in this building but in your heart. THAT is my true home. You. You are my home Harry.' Tears and sniffs all around the room.

'And tonight, I want to become your home. I want to give you something.' All eyes where on Louis and as he got down on one knee, a loud collective gasp was heard all around. Harry stood stock still shocked, mouth open, eyes wide as they looked down on Louis. Marc let out a loud 'Oh my God' as Louis took Harry's left hand in his own shaking one.

'Harry Edward Styles will you dome the honor of taking my surname and becoming my husband?' More gasps and tears. Harry was shaking. One hand over his mouth, tears pouring down his face, Marc in the back ground whispering 'Oh my God he didn't! Oh my sweet Jesus he just didn't!'

Louis looked up at Harry as with his other hand he reached into his jacked pocket and pulled out a box. He let go of Harry's hand and opened it, revealing a beautiful white gold ring with a square diamond in the middle.

'Say you'll make an honest man out of me by marrying me?' And Harry broke. He fell to his knees in front of Louis and cupped his face. He planted kisses on his lips as tears of joy streamed down his face.

'Yes. Yes! Oh my God yes Louis yes,' he repeated in between sobs. Louis kissed him fiercely and placed the ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. Harry buried his face in his neck. 'I love you,' he cried, 'Oh God I love you so much.'

'I love you,' Louis whispered, then pulled back and kissed the life out of him. Everyone was clapping and cheering them. When they finally stopped kissed and got up, everyone crowded them hugging them and congratulating them. Harry was crying so much, hearty sobs leaving his mouth. Louis was holding his hand, both of them shaking. Harry looked for his father in the crowd and spotted him hanging a little back. He had been so caught up in the moment that he had forgotten all about his father! Harry let go of Louis' hand and walked towards his father cautiously. He could not read his expression and Harry felt dread in his stomach. What if his father objected? Louis noticed that Harry had let go of his hand and was walking towards his father. He caught up with him, bracing himself for any outcome. He placed his hand on Harry's lower back for support. Harry stopped in front of his father and looked at him with tearful eyes.

'Dad.'he whispered but Des didn't say anything. He hugged Harry tightly.

'My boy,' he whispered in his hair. 'My son I am so happy for you and proud of you.' At these words, Harry cried even more.

'Oh dad,' he sobbed. 'Thank you dad.' Des hugged him tighter to his chest then placed a kiss to the side of his head.

'I love you son.'

'I love you too dad.'

'Your mum would have been so happy to see this, to see you so loved, to see you proposed to. God I wish she was here,' Des whispered.

'Me too dad,' Harry choked out. Des pulled back and looked at Harry, tears in his own eyes. Then he looked at Louis and held out his hand to him which Louis took.

'So proud of you. I'm happy to call you family.' Louis felt moved at his words. He could not describe the happiness he felt.

'Thank you. I'm glad to have you in our family.' They went back to the party, more champagne, more food. Marc accosted Louis, his eyes red.

'Never in a million years would I have believed you would have proposed!Look at you, about to get married and become a husband!' Louis grinned at him proudly.

'Yeah look at me with a fiance',' Louis said as he looked at Harry with his friends all oogling his ring and congratulating him.

'Does't it feel wonderful to know you are going to commit to that beautiful boy with the fine ass?' Marc told him giving him a wink.

'Don't make me leave you out of the wedding guest list.' Louis threatened. Marc made a horrified face.

'You would not dare!' Louis smirked at him as he took a sip of champagne.

'Try say something else about Harry's ass and you'll see how much I dare. I wouldn't push me if I were you.' Marc gave him the bitch face.

'Still a son of a bitch I see huh?'

'Always,' Louis told him, giving him a wink. He left Marc and walked over to where Walter was grinning at him like a maniac.

'There he is!' he bellowed. 'The man of the hour. The man that never believed in commitment and marriage and yet look at you! Look at you glowing and about to be married!' Walter clapped him on the back.' Congratulations Louis. I am honestly very happy for the two of you.' Louis smiled happily.

'Thank you Walt.' Walter smiled at him.

'When did you realize that you were going to marry that fine boy of your's?' Louis let his eyes fall on Harry in a soft tender gaze.

'Guess since the first day that I met him. The day when my world shifted and I began focusing on him but I was just too stupidly blind to see it.'Walter gave him another clap on the back.

'You are so whipped!' Louis smiled, his eyes still on Harry.

'Guess I am. Excuse me a moment,' Louis told him as he saw Anthony walking towards him.

'Louis!' Anthony greeted him. 'Let me offer my congratulations. You took me by surprise. You never mentioned it in our sessions.' Louis smiled at him.

'No. I wanted it to be a big surprise for every one.' Anthony placed his hand on his shoulder.

'I am not going to go into therapist mode but I have to ask. How are you feeling?' Louis sighed contentedly and looked at Harry.

'Happy, sure and complete. I feel like I'm finally home.'

 

X

Everyone had left. Their family members had all gone up to their respective rooms. Marge's children and their kids had been driven to their hotel. It was just Louis and Harry downstairs, in the wake of the party. Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him to him.

'Thank you for the amazing party sweetheart,' he said. Harry smiled.

'You're welcome fiance',' he said. Louis rolled his eyes.

'Are you happy my love?' Louis asked him.

'Yes very much. You will be my husband soon. I will be Harry Tomlinson how can I not be happy?' Louis pecked his lips.

'I can't wait Mr. Tomlinson.'

'Same Mr. Tomlinson.' They both burst out laughing.

'We are so fucking sappy,' Louis said. 'So, what about the present you had for me hmm?' he asked him as he squeezed his bum and pushed their groins together. Harry moaned softly. He looked at the clock on the kitchen wall.

'Well technically it is your birthday now because its the twenty fourth so can we please go to our flat in Camden? We will come back in the morning in time for your birthday family breakfast.' Louis leaned in and kissed his neck, sucking softly on the skin.

'Hmm I like the sound of that. C'mon let's go then,' he said as he took Harry's hand and led him outside to where there was a driver waiting for them. They got in and Louis gave him the Camden Town address then turned his attention to Harry, touching him, kissing him till he was a panting mess. They made it to their flat clothed! Harry pulled out the key and opened the flat door. They hurried upstairs and Louis was surprised to see a small Christmas tree lit up by the window. Harry smiled at him.

'I came here once or twice. Stocked up the fridge and cupboards. Got some of our clothes here, towels and necessities. Then I decided on my present for you and I also got this small tree.'

'It's beautiful,' Louis whispered. He loved their tiny flat. It was their secret love nest. Harry nudged him.

'So do you want your present?'

'Hmm yes please,' Louis murmured. Harry giggled.

'Okay go in the bedroom and undress for me yeah. I'll be with you in a sec,' Harry told him. Louis nodded and he went off into their bedroom. The radiator was on and the room was pleasantly warm. There was a note on the bed. "Please light the candles and get naked." He chuckled to himself as he did what was asked of him. He lit all the candles around the room, then undressed. He pulled the duvet off the bed and sat on the cool red satin sheets. Louis was excited because Harry had put a lot of thought into this. He relaxed against the pillows. After a few minutes, the door to the bedroom opened and Harry walked in. Louis' mouth fell open and he was sure that he had stopped breathing. Harry stood in the doorway, wearing red lace panties, thigh high red stockings with white fur at the top, a red lace camisole matching the panties and a red Santa hat with white fur on his head.

'Happy birthday future husband,' Harry purred as he walked over to Louis, sahaying his hips. He put his knee on the bed, then the other and crawled over to Louis. He straddled his lap, sitting on his thighs.Louis' hands slid up the stockings, loving the feel of them on Harry's legs, then fondled the soft fur between his fingers, then found Harry's skin and dug his fingers into his hips.

'Oh my God you're beautiful,' Louis murmured. 'And all mine.' He took his hand where the ring was and placed a kiss on it.

'All your's,' Harry murmured back. He leaned in and kissed Louis, their kiss soon becoming passionate and heated. They were both hard and rutting against each other desperately.

'I'm not gonna last so much if we continue like this,' Louis whispered in his mouth. 'Such a pity I have to take all this off I wish you could leave it on while I fuck you.' Harry was breathing heavily into his mouth.

'You don't have to,' he said against his lips. Louis looked at him curiously as Harry reached between his legs and popped two buttons open, leaving him bare where it mattered.

'Oh God,' Louis hissed.

'You can fuck me in it,' Harry said seductively. Louis ran his fingers over his nipples which he could see through the lace and Harry hissed. The feeling of the lace against his nipples and Louis touching them was exquisite. Louis rolled them and pinched them,loving the face Harry was making, the soft moans falling from his parted lips.

'Ride me,' Louis said. 'I want you like this. I want to see you work for it and I want you to come from my cock only. I want to see you spill into your naughty panties.' Harry nodded and reached for the lube on the nightstand. He poured a generous amount on his hand and coated Louis. He hissed and threw his head back. When he was done, Harry positioned Louis and his entrance and began sliding down slowly.Louis pinched his nipples hard, making Harry moan obscenely. Harry continued sliding down till Louis was buried inside him. Louis sighed, loving the feel of Harry's tight warm heat. He could never get enough of it. Harry began to move back and forth, rocking his hips working Louis' dick inside him. He started out slow but soon picked up speed, rocking harder, moving back and forth. Louis kept his eyes on Harry, still wearing the red camisole, one strap had slipped down off his shoulder, the panties still on his as he was inside him and that Santa hat that made him look a mixture of naughty and innocent at the same time.

'Oh God Harry I'm so close sweetheart, don't stop. Fuck you feel so good.God!' Louis mumbled as Harry worked him his strong thighs straining with the effort. Louis could see how hard he was and leaking profously from his tip. Yes, he had told him to come untouched but he couldn't resist touching his dick through the lace. It looked hot. He reached out and palmed him and Harry moaned out loudly as he bounced on Louis.

'Please Louis, touch me,' he begged breathlessly. 'I...I need it. Please husband.' That word made Louis even harder if that was possible. He wrapped his hand around Harry along with the lace and began stroking him fast and hard, keeping up with his thrusts.

'Ahhh God Louis Louis I'm c-close oh fuck I'm...I'm....' but he didn't get to finish because Harry shot his load into his panties and Louis'hand that seeped through the lace. It was hot and obscene and Louis couldn't hold back anymore. As Harry clenched around him, he shot his load deep inside Harry with a loud cry.

'Ohhhh fuuuckkkkk HarryHarryHarry!' They continued to move until they rode out their orgasms then Harry slumped forward against Louis' sweaty chest. Louis removed his hand from Harry's panties and dipped his fingers into his mouth, licking it all off.

'God you taste like heaven,' Louis murmured. Harry was breathing fast and hard. Louis removed his Santa hat and ran his hand through his sweaty curls. 'My baby. My sweetheart. My angel. My.....fiance'.' Harry giggled.

'I love you. I adore you,' he said as he lifted himself off Louis and lay down on the cool sheets.

'Come here,' Louis told him as he opened his arms for him. Harry scooted closer into his arms. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead. 'Sleep baby honey. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives together and I couldn't be happier.'

'Hmmm,' Harry mumbled. 'Happy birthday fiance',' he mumbled sleepily. Louis smiled and cuddled him closer, arms about him and legs tangled together, sighed happily and drifted off to sleep knowing that he would wake up to this every morning for the rest of his life.

COMING SOON CHAPTER 38


	38. Friends, Family and Wedding Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO AGAIN! I DO HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL AND HEALTHY. FINALLY I AM BACK WITH ANOTHER VERY LONG CHAPTER. I AM SORRY FOR THE DELAY. THINGS IN MY LIFE ARE NOT TOO GOOD ATM AND SOME DAYS I STRUGGLE BUT WRITING IS MY ESCAPE. I APOLOGIZE IF I TAKE IT A LITTLE SLOW BUT I AM TRYING TO AVOID STRESS AND WHEN I DO, I WRITE BETTER. I WANT TO SAY YET ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU FOR ALL THE READS. ADSOL HAS SO MANY. I AM GRATEFUL. ALSO THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU AS ALWAYS WHO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME. YOU ARE PRICELESS AND YOUR CARE SOMETIMES MAKES ME SMILE AND EASES WHATEVER HELL I AM GOING THROUGH. I DO HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER.....2 MORE CHAPTER TO GO AND MAYBE AN EPILOUGE. WE'LL SEE. REMEMBER IF YOU WANT ANY INFO OR UPDATES ON WHAT IM WRITING OR WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP, JOIN MY GROUP THE LARRY LIBRARY ON FB. JUST IN CASE I DON'T UPDATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS....HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL. I DON'T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY BUT I LOVE YOU ALL HEAPS. STAY SAFE, BE HAPPY, LOVE EACH OTHER AND BE KIND ALWAYS. SOMETIMES KINDNESS IS A RAY OF LIGHT IN A PERSON'S DARK LIFE. ALL THE LOVE, M.

Friends, Family and Wedding Plans.

 

 

Louis stretched out to his full length, the palette beneath the mattress squeaking with his shifting body. He was warm and oh so comfortable. He cracked open one eye and weak pale light filtered into the room.He looked at his watch. Seven fifteen am. He looked at the window.The curtains had been left open last night and he could see snow softly falling. They were in for a white Christmas! Could it get any better? Louis looked down to where Harry was wrapped around him still wearing his lace lingerie, one of his long legs over Louis' thighs and his arm slung over his stomach, his head resting on his shoulder. Louis sighed happily as memories from last night rushed back to him.Harry was now his fiance'! He had proposed and Harry had said yes. They were going to be married!

Married!He smiled to himself as he caressed Harry's arm. Harry was going to become his husband. Legally! They had so many plans to make for their day. They still had to pick a day! A venue! A theme! Guest list! The type of wedding! Music! Louis felt a flutter of excitement in the bottom of his stomach, a sudden urge to slip that wedding ring on Harry's finger and legally make him his own and he himself become Harry's own. Louis smiled again and he felt content. He scowled at himself at how could he had ever thought that marriage was stupid and irrelevant. He scoffed. Now he wanted to be married to Harry more than ever.

He gently lifted Harry's left hand that was resting around his waist. He looked at the ring then kissed it. Harry stirred, smiled in his sleep, eyelashes fluttered, eyes opened a little bit to reveal sleepy green eyes.

'Good morning,' Harry said lazily, his voice deeper than usual.

'Good morning sweetheart,' Louis told him as he placed a kiss on his forehead. 'Its snowing. We're in for a white Christmas.' Harry smiled, his eyes dropping closed.

'Hmm lovely. Happy Birthday my love,' Harry purred. Louis pulled him closer.

'Thank you,' he said, carding his fingers through Harry's growing curls. Harry purred as his hand left Louis' stomach and trailed down past his navel, lower still till his hand came in contact with Louis' semi hard dick.

'Someone is happy to see me,' Harry commented sleepily. He began palming Louis, his deft fingers travelling from his dick down to his balls, torturously slow. Louis threw his head back.

'God baby that feels so good,' Louis purred. Harry shifted his position and climbed on top of Louis. Louis immediately spread his legs to accommodate him. Harry began kissing his neck, sucking at his skin while simultaneously rolling his hips over Louis, both their bare cocks rubbing against each other. Louis whined and arched his back a little. Harry sucked on his collarbones, licking his flushed skin. His lips locked around one of his nipples and he sucked harshly making Louis cry out and buck his hips up into Harry. Harry took the puffy nub between his teeth and gently bit down on it. Louis' hands cupped Harry's ass and he pulled him down on him, rutting up harder against his cock.

'H-Harry baby please please God,' Louis whined out as Harry swirled his tongue around the other nipple while pinching and rolling the other one between his thumb and forefinger making Louis moan a little louder. Harry left his nipples alone and kissed down his stomach, past his navel until his nose was nestled in Louis' pubic hair.

'Please Harry,' Louis begged and it was music to Harry's ears. He took the head between his lips and sucked on it.

'Ahhh,' Louis cried as he arched his back off the mattress, his fingers carding into Harry's hair trying to push him down to take his cock but Harry was in no rush. He continued to mouth and suck at the swollen head, dipping his tongue into the slit and tasting the salty pre-come that was oozing out.

'Hmmmm,' Harry moaned around his dick just as he swallowed him whole. Louis cried out, spreading his legs further, giving Harry an all access pass. Harry massaged his balls as he took Louis deeper into his throat. His fingers traveled further down till his index finger was gently caressing his hole. Louis groaned.

'More Harry please,' he begged.

 

Harry pulled off and looked up at Louis, his large doe eyes shining in the early morning light as the snow continued to fall outside.

'I want to taste you down there. Can I?' Louis was a little startled by his request but nodded. This was Harry. His soon to be husband.

'You know our colors right?' Harry asked him and Louis nodded again. Harry kissed his inner thighs and spread them a little further. He licked around his puckered hole, his tongue lapping at it like a kitten lapping up milk. Tears began to form in Louis' eyes because it felt so good and he wanted more. He pushed his hips down and Harry puckered his lips, sucking at his rim and Louis nearly went crazy.

'P-please H-Harry more please,' he begged. Harry raised his head from between his legs, his mouth shiny with saliva.

'Can I enter you?' Harry asked him. He knew that Louis had to give him permission first. He couldn't just enter him. Louis raised his head off the pillow.

'Yes. I trust you,' he said softly and lowered his head back down. Harry ducked between his spread thighs, pulling his cheeks apart with his thumbs to get more access. He licked at his hole a few more times then began pushing his tongue in slowly. Louis fisted the sheets as he felt Harry prod and push against his tight closed rim.

'Relax my own darling,' Harry said. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, letting his body relax. This time Harry didn't find resistance and his tongue slipped inside Louis' warm body.

'Hmmmmm,'Harry moaned as he licked inside Louis. Louis felt as if his body was going to explode. He pushed his hips down in Harry's face wanting more and Harry obliged. He pushed his tongue in as far as it would go, then pulled out and pushed back again. He build up a rhythm but his jaw was starting to ache.

'Harry,' Louis groaned out. 'I'm I'm c-close. Stop. Stop.' Harry immediately pulled away. He sat up on his knees and looked at Louis who was panting ever so hard. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hands. Louis looked at him, still wearing that red lace, curls messy, lips red and puffy.

'You're so gorgeous,' Louis murmured. Harry smiled at him.

'How do you want me?' Harry asked him. Louis sat up, legs spread wide, placed his hand behind Harry's neck and pulled him down for a kiss, his tongue deep into his mouth, tasting himself. He pulled back and looked into Harry's eyes.

'I want you inside me,' he said huskily. 'I want you to make love tome.' Harry felt his heart stutter in his chest. He leaned in and kissed him tenderly. He reached blindly for the lube. He opened the cap, pulled away slightly from Louis' lips just enough to pour some on his fingers then he was back to kissing Louis in the most gentle way he could.

'Lie back my darling,' he said and Louis lay back. Harry knew how vulnerable and exposed this made Louis feel so he was extra soft and tender with him. He lowered his body on top of him while his hand went down between his legs and he circled his rim with a lubed finger.

'If I hurt you or you feel uncomfortable at any time please stop me,' Harry said against his lips. Louis nodded and Harry resumed kissing him in a tender way, his tongue slowly working its way into Louis'mouth just as his middle finger pushed against Louis' rim. Louis felt the pressure against his hole, his heart thrumming loudly in his ear.Harry pushed again, knowing that if Louis felt overwhelmed he would stop him. Harry's finger breached Louis' tight hole and Louis whined in his mouth. Harry kept pushing in till his finger was all the way in, all the while kissing Louis. He could feel his short nails digging in his biceps.

He fingered him lazily and slowly gradually adding in fingers till Harry had three fingers deep inside Louis and Louis was relaxed and pliant,panting heavily, moaning softly and moving his hips to take Harry in deeper.

'H-Harry now. Please now,' Louis groaned out. Harry kissed his lips.

'Alright sweetheart,' he told him as he grabbed the lube bottle again and coated himself generously. He positioned himself over Louis and raised one of Louis' leg over his hip, hooking his ankle behind his back. He caressed his calf and back of his thigh, his dick nudging at Louis' hole. Louis took in a deep shuddering breath. He was still not used to bottoming but he wanted it, needed it. Harry didn't push inside. He waited patiently until Louis was fully relaxed. He bent his head down and kissed him slowly and gently. He felt Louis shift a little beneath him as he raised his other leg hooking it over Harry's waist. He was more open now. Harry pushed in a little and the head slipped inside Louis' tight hole. They both gasped together at the intimate feeling. Harry captured his lips with his won, his tongue slipping inside Louis' warm mouth. He pushed in a little more and Louis whined in his mouth. They rested their foreheads against each other, mouths parted, breaths heavy and mingling, their bodies warm and sweaty colliding with each other, sliding with every move, every thrust.

The moment Harry bottomed out, Louis let out a strangled moan, his short fingernails digging in Harry's back and his heels into his bum. Harry stayed still, sheathed inside Louis'warmth, encompassed by his wet, velvet hole. Harry wanted desperately to move but he knew he needed to give Louis time to adjust. Harry kissed his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose, his lips. He could feel him tremble beneath him.

'Move,' Louis rasped and Harry moved. He slid almost all the way out, just his tip nestled inside Louis' heat then he pushed back in slowly, eliciting a beautifully drawn out moan from Louis. He repeated it again and again, slowly pulling out then slowly entering him deeply as far as Louis' body allowed him to go, skin on skin, the friction making both their bodies tingle.

Harry picked up a slow deep rhythm and Louis moved with him, thrusting his hips up to meet Harry's inward thrusts. He made love to him nice and slow, no rush, putting all his love into it.

'I love you Louis,' Harry whispered against Louis' open mouth. Louis whined and tightened his legs around Harry,his thigh muscles constricting with the effort.

'I love you,' Louis replied breathlessly. Harry continued to make sweet love to him. He felt his orgasm build and build but he wanted to get Louis off first. He reached between their sweat slicked bodies and wrapped his fist around Louis' hard dick. At the contact Louis moaned and pushed up into Harry's hand just as Harry pushed inside him. Harry jacked him off to the rhythm of his thrusts. His hips stuttered as his orgasm continued to build.

'I'm I'm ahhh God I'm close Harry please,' Louis begged. Harry thrust in extra hard pounding straight into his prostate. Louis nearly screamed. He went rigid, all his muscles taught as he felt his orgasm being ripped out of him. His blunt nails dug into Harry's shoulder blades, his toes curled and he spilled hard all over his stomach and Harry's hand. He saw stars exploding being his eyelids. Harry continued to thrust in him and work his limp dick, chasing his own orgasm. Louis clenched tight and pulled him deeper in. Louis whined and Harry knew he had to come soon as Louis would be over stimulated and very sensitive.

'Nearly...there...sweet....heart,' Harry panted and he felt it. That tingle in his spine, the pull and tug in his lower abdomen. He tensed and stilled deep inside Louis, as deep as he could go and came hard inside his man's warmth. Harry groaned loudly.

'Oh God Louis God God God!' Harry's vision blurred, it went white and all he could feel was Louis' warmth and heat enveloping him, his clenching pulling him in deeper, milking him till the very last drop. His body shivered and trembled. When he could come no more, Harry pulled out of Louis and slumped down beside him, his heart ramming hard in his chest, his breath coming in deep shallow breaths. Harry reached out and clasped Louis' hand in his, lacing their fingers together then raised them and placed a kiss on Louis' hand, gently resting their hands on his own chest.

'That was....wow,' Harry said. Louis shifted a little beside him trying to get comfortable. He knew he was going to be sore but he didn't care.

'You were amazing,' he whispered, his body still tingling from the after shocks of his orgasm. Harry turned on his side and cuddled into Louis. He kissed his chest and smiled up at him.

'You were pretty amazing yourself,' he said quietly, smile still on his lips. He traced circles on Louis' chest lazily, as they watched the snow fall outside. He felt spent, but in a good way. Louis wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer. He placed a kiss on his messy curls.

'Are you happy Harry?' Louis asked him out of the blue. Harry raised his head and looked at him, his chin resting on his chest.

'Why do you ask? You know I am.' Louis shrugged.

'Just want to hear you say it,' he said quietly. Harry smiled and kissed his chest.

'I'm very very extraordinarily super happy like I've never been before in my life.'Harry paused and licked his lips thoughtfully. 'Are you happy?' Louis gave him a smile.

'I am. So much. I never knew I could own this happiness and its all because of you. You gave it to me.' Harry cuddled back into his side, pulling the duvet over them.

'I'm glad you are,' he whispered. Louis kissed the top of his head and they fell silent for a little while, both of them watching the snowfall outside.

'So what kind of wedding do you want?' Louis asked him. Harry smiled and sighed and tightened his grip around his waist.

'A small one. A small summer wedding. Just our friends and families.' Louis rubbed his arm up and down lazily, letting his mind drift to their wedding day.

'Sounds nice. We have to set a date. And venue. Are we going to hire a wedding planner?' Harry loved that Louis was using "we" and that he wanted to be involved in the wedding planning.

'We might need one,' Harry said. 'We will put our ideas together and see what they come up with.As for the venue,' Harry raised his head and looked at Louis. 'I was thinking about your mum's house in Richmond. Imagine the garden all blooming in the summer and the house is perfect for a wedding. It's big and spacious and all our friends and family will be there. An intimate wedding.' Louis seemed to be thinking about it. He knew Harry wouldn't be into grandeur things. He was a simple person who liked simple things. Harry saw the far away look, in Louis' eyes, he the thoughts running in Louis' mind and amended himself.

'Unless of course you want a big wedding to invite your business partners and associates. I'm good either way,' Harry said. Louis turned his eyes on him and kissed him softly.

'No. I want our wedding to be intimate and with the people who matter, the people who we love and who love us. I like your idea sweetheart. Let's go with it.' Harry hugged him.

'Are you sure? I'm open to anything.' Louis raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk forming on his cheeks.

'Open for anything you say?' Harry smiled sheepishly and Louis was quick to flip them over, pinning Harry to the mattress. He kissed down his neck.

'Let's see how open you are shall we?' Harry giggled as he spread his legs for his fiance'.

 

 

X

 

They returned home in good time with plenty of time before everyone was up and breakfast was being laid out. It was Christmas Eve and they had a lot to do : birthday breakfast with the family, brunch with their friends at Garfunkels in Trafalgar Square and another family gathering later that night : a gala Christmas Eve dinner at The Dorchester Hotel organized by TGE for the employees of TGE, business partners, board of directors and shareholders of the company.

Soon their family were gathered round their dining table in the lavish dining room and breakfast was being served. It reminded Louis of that time when he had the birthday breakfast for Harry. Judy had gone all out today as well, serving pancakes with fruit and syrup, full English breakfast, along with toast and marmalade, toasted crumpets with jam or marmalade and even a variety of cereals. Their families were spoiled for choice and Louis felt blessed that he could treat them well. Everyone wished Louis a happy birthday and talked about nothing but their upcoming wedding asking a million questions to which Louis and Harry did not have answers yet but it was wonderful to see them all happy and excited. Lottie talked about bridesmaids and flowers and make up. His mother was mentioning a variety of venues suitable for their wedding. Marge was asking about the wedding cake. Des asked if they had set a date. Louis and Harry just giggled and answered the best they could : no we have not decided on anything yet!

During breakfast, Louis noticed his siblings exchanging furtive glances towards each other. He also noticed them occasionally looking at their mother and Johanna trying to be as subtle as she could, give them quick small nods. This carried on for a while until Louis couldn't take it anymore. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and put his fork down.

'Alright what is it?' he asked his siblings with a small smile playing on his lips. They all looked at each other feigning innocence which made Louis smile bigger.

'I can see you all looking at each other and at mum exchanging glances and having a secret wordless conversation. I know something's up so just tell me already,' he told them, keeping his voice soft but that timbre of authority rang loud and clear. Harry recognized it only too well and he could feel that authority bending him to submit to Louis even though it was not directed towards him. Now all his sibling directed their attention on Lottie. Louis smiled at her.

'I see you have been chosen as spokesperson for the clan so come on, outwith it.' Lottie's face turned pink and she squirmed in her chair and fingered with her napkin nervously.

'Well,' Lottie began, 'we have been talking between us and with mum of course and we um all of us would like to ask you if um we could have our surnames changed to our birth surname. Now we have a real mother and you and we know where and who we come from and we would like our surname. Please.' By the time Lottie finished her face was red as a tomato. Louis looked at all of them one by one, six pairs of eyes looking back at him expectantly. Louis felt as if his heart was going to erupt from happiness. He smiled at them.

'I will call my lawyer after the New Year to start with the proceedings to give you back your rightful surname.' All his sibling pushed their chairs back simultaneously and rushed to him, crowding him and hugging him.

'Thank you Louis,' they all said. Louis laughed happily. He loved being engulfed in his siblings hugs.

'No need to thank me. That's your surname by right of birth. It's who you are and you will own it.' His mother cried happy tears.

'I can't believe I am celebrating my oldest son's birthday and Christmas with all of my babies. I would have never imagined,' she said as she burst into fresh tears. All her children went over to her and hugged her, crowding her and soothing her, kissing her. Louis cupped her face and kissed her tear stained cheeks.

'Don't cry mum. These are happy times. We are all together as it should be. I will never let anything or anyone tear us apart.' He looked at each of his siblings.

'I don't know what might happen,' he said and they knew what he meant. They knew he was referring to their father. 'I promise all of you that I will let nothing happen to us, to our family, to our happiness,' he paused and looked at Harry, his dad and Marge. 'But I swear to you, no one and nothing will break this family up. I will see to that.'

When breakfast was over, Louis and Harry retired to their room to wrap a few remaining presents but they ended up making out and touching each other which eventually led to Louis making love to Harry again in the midst of Christmas wrapping paper and colorful bows and ribbons.

 

Later that afternoon, Angus drove them to Garfunkels to meet their friends. Their friends had chosen Garfunkels because they wanted to treat Louis and Harry and Garfunkles was affordable to them. When they arrived, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Shawn, Ed and Marc where already seated and having drinks. Two tables had been pushed together and some chairs had been added to the tables to makes pace for everyone. Harry and Louis squeezed beside Liam and Zayn on the cushioned bench.

'So how do you two feel?' Liam asked them, a happy smile on his face. Louis looked at Harry, smiled and took his hand.

'Very happy,' Harry replied as he smiled shyly.

'Very very happy,' Louis said, stressing on the word very.

'Aww,' Marc said. 'And this coming from the man who never believed in settling down or any type of commitment besides committing to his work.' Louis smirked at him.

'You are really doing everything to stay off our guest list aren't you now?' he asked him. Marc scowled at him.

'Happiness and love and the dream of a perfect wedding is supposed to change you but I see you're still a dickhead,' Marc threw at him playfully. Everyone burst out laughing.

'So when's the date?' Shawn asked. Louis and Harry looked at each other but it was Louis who replied.

'We don't know yet but Harry wants a summer wedding and I'm okay with it.' Their friends all spoke together and showed their agreement that a summer wedding would be wonderful.

'We are in charge of the stag night!' Niall said, raising his beer glass.

'Yes!' Liam agreed. 'We need a venue, music, male strippers, alcohol. Lots of alcohol!'

'How about Garlands?' Zayn offered. 'After all its the place that brought you two together and we can have it for free since Mr. Tomlinson part owns it.' Murmurs of agreement went round the table. Louis looked at Zayn.

'When are you going to trust me enough that you will call me by my first name?' he asked him softly. Zayn felt his cheeks burn but he shrugged. Louis smiled at him.

'Its alright. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.'

Niall signaled for the waiter to bring them fresh drinks. Marc looked at Louis.

'I'm assuming I'll be designing your wedding suits?' he asked him. Louis grinned at him as he took a sip of his Prosecco.

'Assuming I invite you to the wedding first,' he chuckled, giving Marc a friendly wink.

'Asshole,' Marc said throwing him a bunched up napkin. Everyone laughed at their banter.

'I would love if you could design my wedding suit Marc,' Harry told him. Marc scoffed.

'Somebody with brains and a sense of style,' Marc commented chuffed. Louis looked at Harry.

'Traitor!' he told him fondly then pecked his lips that tasted of red wine. More laughter from their friends. Ed cleared his throat.

'I um would like to ugh sing a few songs for you at the wedding,' he said shyly, his pale face blotched with red, contrasting with his mop of ginger hair. Louis rolled his eyes.

'Why do all of you assume you are invited to our wedding? You are all a bunch of pompous pricks!' he groaned playfully. Harry nudged his ribs with his elbow.

'Be nice,' he told him.

'Caveman!' Marc commented. Louis gave his an annoyed look.

'You are seriously begging me to leave you off our wedding guest list!' Marc screwed up his face at him.

'Harry will invite me won't you dear?' Marc asked Harry.

'Harry will do as I say won't you darling?' Harry gave him a non committal look.

'Not promising anything,' Harry told him smugly. Louis huffed.

'Guess I'll leave you our of the wedding too then,' he told him playfully then leaned in and captured his lips in a soft slow kiss. 'Never my darling,' he whispered against his lips and Harry felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter crazily.

'I can't wait to marry you,' Harry said, their lips still touching.

'I can't wait either,' Louis replied. Groans from their friends pulled them apart.

'Eww get a room,' Niall said as they were showered with balled up napkins.

They all erupted in fits of laughter as they all looked at the menu to order their lunch.

X

Later that evening, the family where in the lounge, all dressed up to the nines ready to go to the Christmas Eve Gala dinner that TGE hosted. Louis had also invited Edgar and Charles Fairchild as he had done every year so far. He was excited that they will finally get to meet his family and fiance'. Tonight was special. Louis was going to make their engagement official and introduce his fiance' to his business partners and employees. He was also going to introduce his family and his soon to be father-in-law. Louis was hoping that he could get Des interested in his business. Des was a good business man and Louis could always use people with a good business mind.

Louis was dressed in a black tuxedo but Harry had refused to wear one. Instead, he opted for a black Gucci suit with in laid crystals that made the suit sparkle. He looked beautiful and Louis knew it was going to be along night until he finally got his boy home alone and out of that suit.

The limo pulled up at eight pm sharp. Everyone filed in just as another car for Johanna pulled up. A limo wasn't equipped fora wheelchair so Louis had taken care to rent her a car which would accommodate her needs. Hugh helped her in, then he and Maggie got in too. Louis had ordered champagne as they had much cause to celebrate and they toasted together for a better future as the limo drove towards The Dorchester Hotel.

When they arrived at the hotel, they were treated like royalty, people almost bowing to Louis. As they walked in, they met their mother who had arrived just a minute before them. Louis introduced his family to people and he was extremely proud to show off Harry and introduce him to everyone who would listen as his fiance'. Harry blushed scarlet but he was happy and smiled at people and shook their hands, said thank you and passed on compliments where it deemed necessary.

They made their way into the big ballroom which was decorated for Christmas. A huge Christmas tree was at the far end of the ballroom. Round tables took up most of the room, decorated in white and gold table cloths with flower arrangements at each center made up of hollies, ponsietta, red candles and gold baubles. People where already seated or being seated at their appropriate tables. They were being served aperitifs. Louis and his family where shown to their table. They all sat on the plush chairs, Harry on one side of Louis and his mother on the other. Des and Marge sat next to Harry, his father beaming and looking ever so proud. Occasionally he squeezed Harry's shoulder and Harry couldn't help but beam and smile. Edgar and Charles where also sat at their table because Louis considered them family. They engaged his mother in conversation, especially Edgar who seemed to take a great interest in Johanna.

On the table next to them sat Walter and Gloria, Niall, Shawn and Lynn with some other people Louis associated with mostly accountants and his PR team. Louis waved Walter, Gloria and Lynn over and they came to offer their congratulations and wish them and their families a Merry Christmas. Lynn was introduced to the family for the first time. Louis was pleased to meet her partner Brett.

The first course out of the five course dinner arrived. People chatted, ate and drank. Harry leaned over to Louis.

'You host this every year?' he asked him. Louis smiled.

'I do. It's the only time I can get everyone whose someone where my business is concerned together in one room at the same time.' Harry furrowed his brows and Louis could tell he was thinking about something that was worrying him.

'But last year,' Harry said quietly. 'Last year you missed it because of me.' Louis squeezed his knee.

'I told you, you are my priority. You are more important than this. Lynn filled in for me while I came to win you back,' Louis told him softly. Harry looked down looking sorry. Louis squeezed his knee again.

 

'Hey, look at me,' Louis told him and Harry obeyed. 'You are more important than my work. You matter more than a yearly function do you understand? I would trade all that I have if it came down to a choice between you and my wealth. I don't give a fuck about wealth or anything else really if I don't have you. Now, stop frowning and eat.' Harry smiled and nodded happily.

'Don't forget we have to be home by midnight. I have to wake up early.' Louis grinned at him.

'Yes fairy godmother,' he mocked rolling his eyes.

After the five dishes had been served, the servers brought out dessert and cups of hot espresso. This was the time that Louis made his annual speech. Everyone clapped as he made his way confidently across the room to the small stage with a podium that had been erected for this purpose. He made a small speech, greeting everyone and thanking them for another year of success for TGI. Then he went on to explain the new company TommoGames, thanking especially Niall and Shawn who where the masterminds behind this multi million dollar project. He ended the speech by announcing that he was now engaged and to be married shortly which earned him a standing ovation and a very blushing fiance'.

True to his word, by midnight Louis and his family left. Everyone was staying over with them again. The limo and Johanna's car where waiting outside and soon the family where on their way. When they entered the house they sighed in happy relief.The Christmas tree was on as was the fire. It was nice and warm and very homey. They said their goodnight and everyone went up to their respective rooms. Louis and Harry lingered in the beautifully decorated and warm living room. Louis looked at Harry with so muchlove it hurt his bones.

'You were amazing tonight,' Louis told him as he pulled him closer and pecked his lips. 'Everyone loved you.' Harry smiled fondly.

'I'm glad I didn't embarrass you,' he said quietly.

'As if you could ever,' Louis replied leaning in to kiss him deeper. Harry parted his lips and Louis tongue was in his mouth, kissing him softly yet urgent and needy. Harry pulled back a little breathless still his lips hovering over Louis'.

'Take me to bed,' he whispered against his lips and Louis didn't have to be told twice.

 

X

Harry set the alarm on his phone for six am. As "You're my best friend" by Queen blared from his mobile, he reached over the bedside table, his palm slapping around trying to find his phone. Louis groaned.

'Shut it!' he whined sleeping. Finally Harry located his phone and with barely open eyes,he turned it off and closed his eyes again. He wanted to cuddle back with Louis but he had a lot of things to do. It was Christmas. Christmas!! His eyes flew open.

'Lou,' he said, his voice raspy. 'Lou.'

'Shut up. GO AWAY,' Louis groaned sleepily. Harry sat up.

'Lou its Christmas. Get up we have a lot to do.' Louis groaned again.

'YOU have a lot to do. I didn't sign up for this.' Harry smiled and straddled his thighs. He bent down and placed kisses on his face.

'Merry Christmas honey,' Harry cooed as he continued to pepper his face with kisses.

'Ugh get off me. You're worse that Byron slobbering all over me.' Harry laughed.

'Come on we have to get breakfast started.' Louis cracked open his eyes and looked at Harry who sat on his thighs, naked as the day he was born, a mass of unruly curls on his head, pink cheeks and a dimpled smile.

'Tell me again why did I let you convince me to give my staff the day off again?' Louis asked him as he ran his hands up his bare thighs. Harry kissed his nose.

'Because they work for you all year and today they deserve to spend the day with their families. Besides we are quite capable of making breakfast and cooking a traditional Christmas meal for eleven people.' Louis raised an eyebrow at him.

'Or are we?' Harry laughed.

'We are. Now c'mon up you go. We need to shower and get started.' Harry made to get up but Louis held him fast.

'How about an I'm-sorry-I-woke-you-up-early-on-Christmas-morning-because-you-have-to-help-me-cook quickie hmm?' he said as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Harry who giggled in response.

'Louis William Tomlinson how dare you bribe me with sex?'

'Is that a yes?' Louis asked. Harry got off him.

'I'll see you in the shower,' he said as he walked towards the bathroom swaying his hips as he went. Louis groaned but quickly threw off the duvet and hurried after his boy.

X

Half an hour later, they walked into the empty kitchen dressed in sweats, matching Christmas jumpers that boasted a sparkly Christmas tree and Santa hats. Louis yawned.

'I have to make my own coffee. This is punishment and you are the grinch!' he complained as he pulled out as stool from beneath the breakfast bar and slumped down in it. Harry laughed and pecked his lips.

'I'll get it for you sweetheart,' he told him fondly as he began fiddling with the coffee machine. He knew that Louis was not a morning person at all and that he needed his caffeine fix to even remotely function. Soon, Louis was smiling pleasantly as he sipped on his hot coffee and watched Harry struggle as he pulled out a rather large turkey from the fridge.

'Looks like we'll be feeding the whole neighborhood judging by the size of that bird,' Louis commented.Harry huffed as he hauled it from the fridge and into the sink.

'Well there's eleven of us and I really want to impress your family and mine. It's our first Christmas together and I want it to be perfect,' Harry said pouting a little. Louis got up and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind and snuggled him into his chest.

'Are you stressing out? Because if you are I will stop this dinner right here and call in for take out.' Harry turned into his arms till they were face to face and he looked at Louis with a shocked expression.

'Take out for Christmas? And here I thought I was the grinch!'

'Harry I'm serious. You don't need to impress anyone. If all this is going to stress you out then I'm putting a stop to it. It's not worth it.' Harry gave him a soft smile.

'I'm not stressed. I'm excited and nervous because this is a lot of firsts for us. First Christmas in our home. First Christmas with your family. First Christmas with my dad since mum passed. I want them to be proud of me.' Louis gave him a tender look.

'Honey they are already proud of you. It's going to be alright even if you burn the whole dinner.' Harry frowned.

'Excuse you but I'm not burning anything. I'll have you know I'm a good cook and I will make this into a fabulous dinner. Just watch me.' Harry turned back to the massive bird in the sink. Louis slapped his ass.

'You go get that turkey honey. Show it who's boss!' Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head at his man and set to work stuffing the turkey with sage, onions, chestnuts and brandy. Louis watched him work, a festive apron on him, sleeves rolled up and one hand elbow deep into the bird stuffing it. Harry worked diligently,humming Christmas music under his breath. When he was done, he stood back and admired his work.

'Done,' he told Louis proudly.Louis smirked at him.

'Bet the bird had multiple orgasms while your hand was up his......'

'Louis stop! Don't even go there!Just eww,' Harry said scrunching up his nose which Louis found adorably cute. He pecked his lips.

'Good job sweetheart. What next?' Harry looked at the clock on the kitchen wall.

'Its nearly eight. We should start breakfast.' Louis wanted to huff and roll his eyes and protest but instead his offered Harry a smile.

'What do you need me to do?'

X

By nine in the morning , Harry had a lavish breakfast spread out in the dining room just as family members started trudging down stairs sleepily and into the dining room in their housecoats, yawning and smiling. He sat beside Louis who looked chuffed as their family gawked at the huge breakfast he and Harry had prepared. Well, if he were to be honest, it had been mostly Harry who had prepared everything. He had just supervised and got in his way until Harry told him to sit down and have another coffee.

Christmas day was a relatively happy one. Everyone wore the Christmas sweaters he and Harry had picked out,some displaying reindeer, some snowmen and others a fat Santa Clause. Everyone wore a Santa hat. It was mandatory according to Harry. Christmas music played throughout the house as Harry, Marge and Maggie baked cookies and mince pies and he and his siblings where having ago at a game of Harry Potter monopoly that belonged to Harry.There where squeals and shouts and playful arguments. Johanna sat and watched her children feeling a sense of happiness and peace flood her.

At five, Harry served dinner. He brought out the turkey and all the trimmings that went with it : different kind of potatoes and various glazed vegetables along with a dish of Yorkshire puddings. Louis brought out wine and drinks, giving Des the honor of carving up the turkey and passing it around. It was a merry feast that they had, laughing and drinking as they ate. After dinner, they all gathered in the living room beside the Christmas tree and the roaring fire and exchanged Christmas gifts. Everyone was blissfully happy as they settled down and watched a Christmas movie while drinking tea and eating mince pies and Christmas cookies.

X

Two days after Christmas, the whole family including Des and Marge boarded Louis' jet to fly down to Richmond for the New Year. Louis wanted Des and Marge to be included in the yearly New Year's Charity Ball. And his siblings would get to see their mother's home.

Upon their arrival, the staff helped them get settled in and Louis gave his siblings, Des and Marge a tour of the estate. Harry tagged along as Louis took them round the enormous grounds but Harry was itching to get to the stables to see Misty. He knew (through contact he had kept with the stable boy) that she was due mid-January and he wanted to see his beauty. Eventually, Louis made it to the stables. His siblings went soft on all the horses. Harry made his way to Misty's stable and there she was, beautiful as ever, her tummy big and round.Louis and the entire family walked in behind him. Harry stroked her mane.

'How are you beautiful princess? Oh how I've missed you,' he cooed at her as he ran his fingers through her long gray mane. He looked at the stable boy. 'How is she?' he asked him.

'I think she will give birth early. She's been having contractions the vet said. In fact he's on his way to see her right now. She had a very restless night.' Harry continued to pet her and coo at her and the horse seemed to know him because she cuddled into him, her nose pressing into his chest.

'There's my girl,' Harry said. 'My beautiful brave girl.' The sound of a car pulling up to the stables brought their heads around to see the vet coming out of his car and walking briskly towards Misty's stable. He looked around surprised a tall the people there. The stable boy introduced his employer and the vet shook hands with Louis and Harry. Then he began seeing to Misty.He looked up at the stable boy.

'She's having more contractions. I think she's ready to give birth.' Harry looked at him with wide shocked eyes.

'Wait. What? She's giving birth now? Like now now?' The vet smiled as he rolled up his sleeves.

'Now. You can stay if you want. Even your family. You can keep her calm. Talk to her. Soothe her.' Harry looked from the vet to Louis. Louis nodded at him.

'We're staying to welcome our baby foal,' he told him with a smile. Harry gulped and nodded then looked at the vet.

'Will she be alright?' he asked him. The vet stood behind the horse. She neighed and bobbed her head up and down as if she was frustrated.

'She's in labor,' the vet told him with a smile.'I think she's had better days but yeah she will be fine and so will the little one if everything goes smoothly.' The vet patted her on the rump. 'Come on girl let's do this.' Harry watched with wide eyes as the vet inserted his hand inside his horse and broke her water.Misty neighed louder and Harry patted her gently.

'Its alright darling. Your baby is coming. You will be a mummy soon. There there I got you.' Louis watched him fondly as he kept the horse calm. His sisters and brother all watched as the vet and the stable boy helped her. They saw two front legs coming out, then a head and soon the baby horse was on the straw.

'There we go,' the vet praised her, 'a beautiful healthy boy. Come on stand up,' the vet urged the foal. They all watched as the dark grey tiny horse struggled to stand on his stick thin legs which reminded Louis of Harry somehow. Harry came round and watched the foal struggle to stand.

'Help him,' he told the vet but the vet shook his head.

'He has to do it on his own. Come on boy stand.' After a few more tries the baby horse stood on shaky legs and they all clapped and cheered. Misty came round to her new born and began licking him clean. The vet looked at Harry.

'Both of them are okay and healthy.' Harry thanked him. The vet shook hands with Louis and he went off with the stable boy to clean himself up. Louis walked up to Harry who was watching mother and baby fondly. Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's waist.

'Looks like we have a wee baby boy horse,' Louis told him. 'What are we going to call him?' Harry thought for a minute then turned to Louis.

'How about we give him our names? What do you think of Larry?' Louis pretended to be thinking about it then pecked Harry'slips.

'Larry. I like it. Larry it is.'

X

The New Year passed and 2018 gave way to 2019. As soon as they returned home from Richmond and they had their house to themselves again they settled into their usual routine of work and University. They were both busy and add to it trying to organize a wedding because Harry had actually decided that he didn't want a wedding planner and that he wanted them to organize their day themselves. Louis went along with it because it made Harry happy even though he knew jack shit about wedding stuff. All that he knew and all that mattered to him was that on June 28th he was going to slip a ring on Harry's fourth finger of his left hand and marry him. He didn't care how they got there but if his boy wanted to plan their wedding, then he was going to be invested in this wedding as much as he could and take part fully in organizing their special day.

However, they encountered the first problem one evening mid-February when they were in bed, Louis was working on his laptop and Harry skimming through a wedding website.

'Lou?'

'Hmm?' Louis asked, a pen between his teeth and his fingers tapping away at the keys.

'What kind of flowers do you like?' Harry asked him. Louis stilled, his fingers frozen above the keyboard. He looked at Harry with a dumb expression on his face. He took the pen out from his mouth.

'Ugh um what ugh do you mean? Like um what's my favorite flower? Cos let me just tell you that I don't have one. They all look the same tome.' Harry rolled his eyes.

'Flowers for the wedding silly but yeah I want to know your favorite so we can have some of both.'Louis shrugged.

'I don't mind. You pick,' Louis was quick to tell him. Harry huffed.

'Lou we agreed to do this together. It's not just my wedding.' Louis closed the laptop giving his full attention to Harry. Choosing flowers for their wedding was by far more important than work.

'Honey I know and believe me I'm in a hundred percent into organizing our day with you but I don't know shit about flowers. Maybe if you could show me options of what you like I can maybe pick and we decide together?' Harry felt bad for having snapped at him. Louis was really trying. He had already helped him with the catering and drinks. Harry closed his laptop too.

'I'm sorry. Sometimes I get stressed out. There's so much to do and its already mid-February.' Louis cupped his cheek.

'Sweetheart we have time. There's four months left. We'll get everything done yeah you just need to help me. I'm sorry if I'm not always available the moment you want me to but I'm making time for this. I want this. Tell me what flowers would you like. Please.' Harry leaned into his touch and closed his eyes loving the feel of Louis' warm hand on his skin. He opened his eyes and looked at Louis who was looking at him expectantly.

'Well since it will be summer I thought maybe white baby roses and sunflowers. I love sunflowers. They are pretty. And since the chairs will be draped in white and the tablecloths will be white and the tents are white and the fairy lights are white, I thought maybe we could have white baby roses and then a spark of bright yellow sunflowers.' Louis took a moment to think, visualizing the whole thing in his head.

'I can see it. The garden will be ever green, everything draped in white then bright yellow sunflowers.I think they will be beautiful sweetheart.' Harry gave him a dubious look.

'Are you sure? You're not just saying that to appease me right?' Louis was a little taken aback by Harry's accusation.

'Harry no, I would never do that to you. It's my wedding too and I want what's best for us, for our day. You just know more about this stuff than me but that doesn't mean that I'm saying yes to just appease you. Why would you think that?' Louis said sounding offended and it hurt Harry that he had said that to him. Harry looked at Louis apologetically.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry.' Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

'Its okay honey. You have a lot going on. Exams, graduation, a wedding to plan. I understand but please don't doubt me. I'm in it with you all the way alright.' Harry gave him a smile.

'Alright.'

'Come on let's sleep. Enough for today.' Louis turned off the lights, cuddled his boy and they fell asleep quickly, both too exhausted.

X

The days rolled into weeks, the wedding getting closer and closer. Harry had only one week left to graduate and he was a mass of nerves and jitters. He had passed all his exams and he wanted to graduate already so he could focus his attention solely and completely on the wedding. There where only six weeks left till the wedding and he still had many things to do.

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his boots as Louis was getting ready for work. 

'Louis don't forget we have cake testing at five tonight. We still need to choose our wedding cake,' Harry told him. Louis knotted his tie.

'I won't forget dear,' Louis told him patiently. Harry got up and straightened his shirt.

'And tomorrow Marc is coming over for a suit fitting. He said this should be the last time. Are you sure you can get off work early?' Louis stepped away from the mirror and turned toward his boyfriend, placing his hands around the top of his arms.

'Harry take a breath and relax. I won't forget.' Harry huffed.

'You already cancelled on me twice Lou. The wedding is...'

'In six weeks yes I know and I won't cancel again. Lynn put everything down in my schedule so she makes sure I won't forget. You need to calm down honey. Everything is almost done.'

'Key word almost. We are almost done. Not fully done but almost and almost is not good enough Lou. It has to be perfect.' Louis shook him a little.

'And it will be baby. Trust in that. We are going to have the perfect day alright. Trust me.' Harry let out a breath.

'Alright. I'm sorry I'm freaking out. I just want it to be the best day for us.'Louis kissed him softly.

'It will be sweetheart. Now off you go. Make your last arrangements for your graduation next week. I am so fucking proud of you.' Harry smiled and pecked Louis'lips.

'Thank you for keeping me sane and I'm so sorry for turning into bridezilla!' Louis chuckled.

'No worries. You deserve it all honey and I can't wait to say I do.' Harry slapped his arm playfully.

'Sap,' he smiled but secretly he loved it when Louis said that, which was something he had been saying a lot.

'For you, always,' Louis purred.

 

X

The week passed by in a flurry of activities regarding the wedding. At least Harry could cross out the wedding cake off his "Wedding To Do List." They had gone to Primrose Bakery and sat through an hour of cake tasting, tasting a variety of cakes, decorations and how many tiers they desired. Finally they had settled on a three tiered chocolate cake with almonds, covered in pale yellow marzipan and decorated with white marzipan baby roses and sunflowers. Harry sighed in relief at having accomplished another thing for their wedding!

Today was his graduation day and he was excited, happy and nervous. Louis waited for him downstairs dressed in a Tom Ford black suit. The ceremony was to being in an hour. He secretly was nervous too and excited for his boy. He knew how hard he had worked to graduate early. Harry had wanted to graduate with his friends. Niall, Liam and Zayn were meeting them at the University. Their families had flown in for the occasion and after the ceremony Louis had treated them all,their families included for dinner at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant.

Louis looked at his watch. Fifty minutes till the ceremony began. Why did Harry always have to be late? Before he had to ponder that question any longer, Harry came down dressed in a Givenchy light pink suit and black shirt. Louis grinned. Of course Harry would not go dressed in a traditional black suit and tie! No, his boy was anything but traditional. He looked gorgeous with his curls all missed up, a few of them falling in his eyes. Louis loved that his hair was getting longer. He loved his curls, loved to tug on them during sex.

'Lou?' Harry said. Louis blinked.

'What?' he asked a little dazed as he scolded his mind for going where it shouldn't at an inappropriate moment.

'I said do I look alright?' Harry asked him. Seriously? He couldn't see for himself that he was more than alright?

'You are gorgeous. Prefect,' Louis purred. Just then, Des and Marge joined them in the foyer. Des beamed proudly at his son.

'I am so proud of you,' he told him as he hugged him. 'You mother would have been even prouder where she here to see you today.' He pulled back and looked at his son with watery eyes. 'I am sure she is looking down on you today and beaming. You have made us so proud son.' Marge dabbed at her eyes. Harry swallowed thickly.

'Don't make me cry dad. Its a happy day today.' Leonard walked in and handed Harry his black graduation gown and cap. He put them on and looked at his dad and Louis. Louis smiled broadly.

'Look at my boy. Graduating! I'm so proud of you Harry,' Louis said. He handed his phone to Leonard.

'Can you take some pictures of us Leonard?' he asked him. Leonard nodded and took the phone. They all posed for pictures with Harry who beamed happily. Leonard took a few snaps then handed the phone back to Louis and they all filed out the door and into the Bentley not wanting to be late for the ceremony.

When they arrived at the University, the campus was littered with students dressed in black gowns and caps along with their families. Harry met his friends and there were a lot of introductions made between the families. Soon everyone began gathering in the large hall for the ceremony. Louis introduced Des and Marge to the Dean and they were sat beside him in the first row. There was a small speech and soon the Dean went up on stage and began calling out the names and handing out their diplomas. Niall was up first and when he was handed his diploma he waved it around for everyone to see. Next up was Zayn then Liam. Louis was becoming nervous because Harry would be up soon. A few other names where called then Harry was up there, smiling, his cheeks flushed, his dimples denting his pink cheeks. He accepted his diploma and shook the Dean's hand then turned to the crowd, his eyes meeting Louis' and raised his diploma in a gesture of triumph. Louis was standing up,clapping, a big, proud smile on his face.

'I love you,' he mouthed at Harry. Harry couldn't stop grinning and as he walked down, he mouthed "I love you" back at Louis as he walked down the steps happily clutching his diploma.

When the ceremony ended and the black robes and hats were taken off, much to Louis' dismay because Harry looked hot in it, they all headed out to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant. Gordon had pulled a favor for Louis to accommodate his big party on such short notice but it had been done and once at the restaurant, they were seated at a long table that was nicely arranged with the just graduated boys taking up space in the middle, surrounded by their loved ones.

The meal was fantastic. Drinks flowed and everyone had a merry good time. By the end of the meal, a nice graduation cake was brought out by Gordon himself and Harry, Niall, Zayn and Liam, held the knife together and cut the cake together amongst cheers from their family. By the time they had cake and coffee and it was time to leave it was almost dark outside. Everyone said their goodbyes. There were lots of kisses and some tears then everyone went their separate ways.

The drive home seemed endless. Louis was tipsy and he was in love and horny. He couldn't wait to get his boy home and once Angus pulled up in front of the house, he grabbed Harry's hand and whispered in his ear:

'Bedroom. NOW!' Harry felt a thrill and a rush go through him making him shiver all over. They said a quick goodnight to Marge and Des, declining their offer for a nightcap, saying that it had been a long day and that they were tired. They took the elevator up to their room and no sooner had the door closed behind them, Louis was on Harry, kissing him frantically, his fingers fumbling to get him naked as soon as possible. He wanted to feel him, feel his skin,have his lips all over his smooth delicate skin. Louis wanted to be inside him without delay or hesitation.

'Clothes....off....now,' he said in between kisses, his breath already heavy with arousal.Harry pushed him back a little giggling.

'Wait. Wait. I have something for you.' Louis rolled his eyes and groaned.

'Can'tit wait? My dick needs you.' That made Harry laugh. Louis began kissing his neck and palming Harry's half hard dick. Harry moaned.

'Trust me I need your dick too but wait....wait...Louis wait,' Harry told him pushing him off of him. 'Get undressed. You're going to want this trust me.' Louis growled as he cupped Harry's bum cheeks and squeezed hard.

'It better be fucking worth it,' he told him as he bit the skin of his neck. Harry giggled and pulled himself away from Louis. He loved it when Louis was tipsy and horny. He hurried into the bathroom and closed the door. After the ceremony he had told Angus to take his gown and cap home and put them in the bathroom. Harry had seen the hunger in Louis' eyes when he had looked at him, the way he almost salivated when Harry had put on the gown and cap. He made quick work of discarding all his clothes and when he he was naked, he put on the black gown, the material soft and cold and flowy on his skin. He fixed his curls and put on the cap. He gave himself a one last look in the mirror, exhaled and opened the door to their bedroom.

Louis' reaction made a torrent of emotions go through Harry. When he saw Louis' wide blue eyes take him in, his lips parted and the deep breath he took that hitched in his chest and the way he exhaled,whispering "Oh God" with much need and desire made Harry blush and his heart rate pick up and breathe faster, warmth spread throughout his body, the blood going to his dick making him harder, so much so that the gown tented. Harry felt so much love, desire and lust for his man. He only moved when Louis whispered :

'Come here baby.' His voice was thick and soft and Harry moved of his own accord as if propelled forward by Louis' voice. Harry climbed on the bed and straddled Louis' naked thighs, his dick hard and erect already leaking at the tip. The gown flowed around Harry but Louis could feel his naked ass on his thighs. Louis cupped his cheek, his thumb stroking his soft skin.

'You are so beautiful,' he told him reverently. 'You're so good to me Harry, you always know what I want and need.' Louis placed his other hand at the back of Harry's neck and he pulled him down for a hungry kiss. It was a bit rough and demanding and Harry knew when Louis got like this to comply, to give him what he need. He loved rough Louis. Louis pulled back from the kiss and had Harry on his back. He spread his legs with his knee and commenced to kiss him again, dominating his mouth. As he kissed him he rutted against Harry's hard cock that was covered by the gown. The feeling of the silky material and Harry's hard dick made Louis growl and rut harder. Louis pulled back panting and looked down at Harry.

'I want to fuck you with the gown on. I won't be fucking you nice and slow. Red or green?' Louis asked him, still grounding down on Harry.

'Green. Green. Green,' Harry whined desperately. Louis stuck his index and middle fingers into Harry's mouth.

'Suck,' he ordered and Harry obeyed, taking in Louis' two fingers into his mouth and sucked them as if he was giving him head. He hollowed his cheeks and swirled his tongue sinfully around his fingers, making Louis moan and groan. Louis pulled them out suddenly, reached down between Harry's spread thighs and pushed in both his fingers without warning. Harry cried out and arched his back at the sudden intrusion. Yeah it was painful to be breached by two fingers quite suddenly but Harry loved that stinging pain, that burn that accompanied the stretch that accommodated Louis' fingers inside of him. Louis pushed them in as far as they would go and began curling them wanting to find Harry's spot right away. He wanted to fuck him fast and hard but he wanted to get Harry off first.

His fingers played inside Harry and he was whining and pushing his hips down trying to direct Louis' fingers to his spot and then he hit it and Harry cried out again, this time in pleasure.

'That it?' Louis asked him and Harry just whined in agreement. 'You like it when I'm rough don't you? When I just want to fuck you into the mattress?'

'Yes yes please yes,' Harry moaned. Louis played with his prostate, tapping it, hitting it repeatedly till Harry was breathless and tears were falling from his eyes from the intensity of the stimulation.

'Louis please,' he groaned. Louis smiled and kissed him roughly, his fingers still working his prostate.

'You want me to fuck you now?' Louis asked him.

'Please yes yes,' Harry whined again.

'Let me hear you,' Louis teased him.

'Please fuck me,' Harry begged. Louis rutted against him. He had to bring him close to his orgasm. He loved edge play though he was nowhere near playing.

'How do you want it?' Louis asked him. Harry was getting impatient.

'I... I'm close Lou,' Harry breathed heavily. Louis pressed his index finger hard against his prostate making Harry cry out again, a strangled sob leaving his parted lips.

'How?' he growled. Harry was delirious. The pleasure he was feeling was incredible and he wanted to come from Louis' dick inside him.

'Fast. Hard. Rough,' Harry croaked. Louis pulled out his fingers and Harry exhaled, barely noticing that he had been holding his breath. Louis got up on his knees between Harry's spread thighs and quickly grabbed the lube, coated himself and grabbed by the hips, sliding him down the bed and closer to him. Harry's bum was now on Louis' thighs. Louis lifted the gown, sliding it up Harry's milky white thighs until the gown was bunched up around his hard dick.

'You look so fucking hot like this,' Louis praised him as he lined up with his expectant hole and pushed in all the way until he was buried deeply inside Harry. Harry held his breath when he felt Louis breach him and enter him in one go. It hurt and burned but Harry wanted it. He needed it rough. When Louis was fully inside Harry he stopped, leaned down and kissed Harry.

'Breathe baby,' he whispered against his lips and before Harry could breathe in and out, Louis pulled all the way out and slammed back in. Louis groaned and Harry cried out, his nails digging in Louis' bulging biceps. Louis picked up a fast rhythm, snapping his hips and fucking Harry deep and hard. Harry cried outwith each thrust that Louis pounded into him. The pleasure was greater than the pain but Harry knew he would be very sore tomorrow. Louis looked at his boy in that graduation gown, the cap tipped off his head and he fucked him harder and deeper, attacking his prostate.

'I'm. ...I'm. ...' Harry mumbled and Louis knew he was close. He could feel him tremble, his inner walls clenching against Louis' cock.

'Come for me sweetheart. Be a dirty boy and mess up that gown for me baby,' Louis urged him on. Harry stilled his movements, his hips up off Louis' lap, arched his back and with aloud moan he came all over himself underneath the gown.

'That's it baby,' Louis praised him as he continued to pound inside him as Harry clenched hard around him. It wasn't long before Louis was coming deep inside Harry, his name falling from his lips like a reverent prayer. When Louis was done, he stopped thrusting inside Harry knowing his boy would be over sensitive. He looked at him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply, his body still trembling from the after shocks of his orgasm. The damn black robe that had started all this was bunched up between them. Louis kissed him softly, just his lips moving over Harry's gently.

'I'm so in love with you,' Louis whispered against his lips and Harry smiled, keeping his eyes closed.

 

Louis peppered his face with kisses then ever so gently he pulled out of Harry. Harry hissed and winced.

'Did I hurt you too much?' Louis asked him as he rolled off of him.

'No you didn't,' Harry said quietly. 'Tomorrow I'll be beautifully sore.'

'I'm sorry if I was a bit rough,' Louis said. Harry opened his eyes and turned to face him.

'Louis you were fine. You were amazing. You gave me what I needed and I gave you what you needed. Stop apologizing. I'm not that fragile that a rough fuck would break me.' Louis chuckled.

'Alright then. Fancy a hot shower? Then I'll go and make us a cuppa yeah?' Harry nodded.

'Help me up. I can't feel my legs.' Louis pecked his lips, got up off the bed and helped him up. He removed the stained black gown off of him and guided him into the shower where they washed each other gently and tenderly.

X

June began and Harry's excitement was high. This was the month that he would marry the love of his life and become Mr. Harry Tomlinson. He could hardly contain himself. He had so much to do. Only three weeks to go now.

Louis sat reading the newspaper as he sipped his coffee while Harry went through his planner, checking what was left to do, things they needed to take care of.

'Lou,' Harry said as he raised his head from his planner and took a sip of tea. Louis lowered the newspaper and looked at Harry.

'Yes love?' he asked him, knowing full well Harry was going to tell him something about the wedding.

'The wedding invitations need to be sent out this week. Only three weeks left.'

'Okay sweetheart. I'll get Leonard to post them out.'

'Thank you,' Harry said. Louis smiled and went back to his paper. 'Also,' Harry continued, 'last night was the last night we had sex till the wedding.' The paper dropped from Louis' hands and fluttered to the ground.

'What?' he asked him, shocked and serious and fully alert. Harry took another sip of tea.

'No more sex till the honeymoon,' Harry said calmly as if he was simply discussing flower arrangements with Louis. Louis felt as if he was choking.

'Why?' he asked him feeling as if he had been told that the world was ending. Harry calmly looked at him.

'Because I would like it to be special. Like being deprived of it will make our honeymoon night extra special and something to look forward to,' Harry explained and honestly Louis could not understand this.

'How is being deprived of sex for three whole fucking weeks supposed to make me look forward to it? It's going to make me on edge and being deprived of it will only make me want it more knowing I can't have it and you are sitting there calmly, sipping your tea discussing about how you are going to deprive me of it?' Harry giggled. Louis felt his temper rise.

'Harry,' he said lowly, his voice a warning. 'This is not funny. I have agreed to everything regarding the wedding but I will not agree to this! This was nowhere in your wedding planning programme. I've been through your planner and there was nowhere written "Deprive Louis of sex for three weeks."' Harry sipped his tea calmly.

'I have been meaning to talk to you about it,' Harry said.

'I don't agree Harry. I can't do this. You can't do this to me. You know I can't stay away from you. Three whole fucking weeks. No!I'll be insane by the wedding day. Sex starved! Definitely not!' Harry looked at him, still calm and ever so relaxed.

'This is something I want Louis. Making love has become a habit with us. Let's make our wedding night special. Please? You will want me more by then.' Louis huffed, feeling stressed already.

'I made love to you last night and I already want you again what the fuck Harry? Three weeks without touching you....no. You can't do this to me.' Harry reached across the table and placed his hand over Louis'.

'You can do it. I have decided. Please accept it.' Louis glared at him, stood up and pushed the chair back angrily.

'Fine Harry. I will have to accept it whether I want to or not since you left me no fucking choice and I have no say in the matter.' Harry stood up and was quick to cup his face in his hands.

'Please don't be angry. It's our wedding. Come on you will thank me for this. Imagine what three weeks of wanting it and not getting it will do to you on our wedding night! I love you so so much.' Harry kissed him but Louis didn't kiss him back. Harry pouted.

'You're gonna stay mad at me?' he asked him in a soft voice. Louis huffed. He ought to be mad at him. How dare he decide this on his own and giving him no choice in the matter?

It's his body,his subconscious piped up. He gets to say no to sex unless you want to take it from him by force?

Louis felt cold at the thought. He would never! He felt disgusted at the mere thought of it. He looked at Harry's expectant face.

'Yes I'm gonna be mad at you. This is not fair.' he told him but the anger from his voice was all gone. He had deflated and given in. Harry noticed it and smiled.

'You love me. You're gonna marry me, say I do and promise yourself to me for the rest of our lives. I can accept you being mad at me for a bit.' Louis huffed annoyed.

'You're a right little shit you know that? You got me so wrapped around your finger that I can't tell you no.You are plain taking advantage of me.' Harry pecked his lips.

'So while we're at it there's some more things I want to run by you. Sit.' Louis rolled his eyes but sat down. Harry sat down too and resumed sipping his tea.

'So two weeks before the wedding, that's next weekend we have the stag night,organized by Niall, Zayn and Liam. Obviously it will be a joint affair so don't forget that.' Louis rolled his eyes again.

'How can I with you? You're always there to remind me. You're like some fucking human alarm or something. You remind me of Lynn.' Louis pretended to shudder at the thought. Harry slapped his arm playfully.

'Be serious.'

'Oh baby I am so very fucking serious but please do continue,' Louis told him sarcastically.

'So the Saturday after the stag do, I will be spending it with your sisters. They are taking me to a spa to relax, remove all the wedding tension and stress. They said I have to be relaxed for the wedding. Lottie said we have facials, full body massages, manicures, pedicure, you know the such. Then they are taking me to dinner.'

'Of course you get to have your tensions and stressed massaged out of you and I have three weeks to stress with a hard dick and no relief! Awesome! And what am I supposed to do while you are having your stresses and tensions taken care of?' Louis complained. Harry gave him a sympathetic smile.

'How about something that you used to do before you met me?' Louis fixed him with a hard stare.

'Seriously?' he asked him. 'You know what that would be? Going to Garlands and doing a few of my boys.' Harry's face went serious, all joking and teasing gone.

'You wouldn't,' he said softly. Louis rolled his eyes.

'Of course I wouldn't what the fuck Harry?' Harry looked down.

'Sorry. I could cancel.' Louis hated that he had made him sad. He put his finger under his chin and raised his face until their eyes met.

'Don't cancel anything. Well maybe if you could cancel the ban on sex that would be great but don't cancel anything on my behalf. Smile.' Harry exhaled and smiled at him even though it irked Louis that Harry would even entertain the idea of him going back to his cold ways. 'I'll be fine here spending time with my neglected hard dick! What else is on the agenda?' Harry looked down at his planner.

'The week before the wedding I will be going down to Richmond. I am hiring a wedding planner to oversee everything that week. She is called Margo Hannigan. She will oversee the decorations, settings, catering, seating, flower arrangements. She will take care of everything in my absence because I won't be there.' Louis gave him a curious confused look.

'Where will you be then?' Harry licked his lips.

'Well for my final week as a single man, I want to go back home Louis. I want to spend a week alone at home with my dad. We're just gonna hang out together and visit mum and all the places I used to as a kid. Since dad came back into my life we haven't had much time to reconnect again so I really need this. I want to spend some time with him.' Harry held his breath and hoped he hadn't pushed Louis too far. Louis seemed to be pondering Harry's decision.

'So no sex for three weeks and I don't get to see you for a whole week until the wedding?' Harry peeked up at him.

'Are you too much mad at me?' Harry asked him. Louis gave him a smile.

'No love. I am mad at the sex ban but not about you spending time with your dad. You will make it back in time for the wedding though right? You won't leave me stranded right?'

'I would never do that Louis! I will be staying at a hotel in Richmond so you won't see me till the wedding. Marc should bring our suits down himself. You know how he is. He doesn't trust anyone with his clothes. He will dress you first then he come and dress me. We won't see each other till the wedding.' Louis chuckled.

'Don't tell me you believe that shit about how its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?'

'I do. I'm superstitious. Also.....'

'Oh my God Harry what else?' Louis asked him pretending annoyance.

'You need to write your wedding vows and,' Harry paused. Louis motioned for him to carry on.'I would like your sisters to be bridesmaids. I told you I'm traditional and just because I'm not a bride doesn't mean I don't get to have bridesmaids.' Louis nodded.

'It's our wedding. Anything you want. Have you told them?'

'No,' Harry replied. 'I was hoping you would. They are your sisters after all.'

'Alright I'll tell them. They will be happy.'

'Also,' Harry said, 'we need to discuss best men.'

'Alright,'Louis told him. 'Anything else?' Harry giggled.

'Just one more thing.'

'Fucking hell,' Louis groaned. 'What else?'

'We need to choose the song when walking down the aisle and the song to our first dance. You need to help me with those.'

'Okay I can do it. Guide me.'

'Always,' Harry replied.

 

X

 

The day of the stag night finally dawned. Liam, Zayn and Niall were all hyped up for the event. Louis didn't trust them but Harry told him to lighten up and trust them a little and to have faith. Still, Louis did not trust them to organize a stag night at Garlands out of all places. His boys still worked there and Louis knew how Harry felt about them but Adam had offered the place up rent free for the night so what better place was there than to have it right there? Adam had decided to close the club due to a private party. That was major money loss for him so Louis sighed and decided to do as Harry had told him to do : trust them and have faith. He hoped the night wouldn't end up in a disaster and Harry in tears.

At eight pm sharp, Angus picked them up to drive them to Garlands. Louis was told to dress casual so he put on a pair of black tailored pants and a plain white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and open at the collar. He did his hair in a soft fringe across his forehead, complimented by the beard that he let grow out for a few days, knowing Harry loved it. Harry dressed in a pair of white loose Gucci pants and a light pink sheer shirt with a pussy bow at the neck. Louis eyed his tattoos which he could see through the fabric. He looked hot and inviting but damn Harry and his ban on sex! It had been a week and a half already and Louis had wanked enough in the shower that he was giving his right hand severe cramps. Damn you Harry! The more he knew he could have him, the more horny he became. More so, having Harry parade around in just boxer briefs didn't help Louis at all!

They arrived at Garlands, Louis feeling a bit of the old times creeping back in on him when he had been a regular at the club. Memories went through his mind, quick flashes of how many of his boys he had beat and fucked in here. It made him sick and suddenly he didn't want to go inside where he was sure that more memories would assault him.

'What's wrong?' Harry asked him when he saw his face turn dark.

'Nothing,' Louis answered quickly, way to quickly for Harry's liking. Harry held his hand.

'Louis what's wrong? Don't you know by now that I can pick up your change of mood?' Louis sighed. He didn't want to bring his past back, he didn't want it to intrude on his present or seep into his future. He looked down at their joined hands.

'Its just...this place...it brings me back bad memories,' he said softly. 'I don't want to remember them but I can't help it.' Harry raised their hands to his lips and kissed each of Louis' knuckles, softly, gently.

'Your past in here is apart of you. Unfortunately, memories made cannot be erased Louis. But remember that its who you were not who you are now. We all have darkness in our past and sometimes it comes back and we can't help it. There's nothing we can do but let them wash over us. The important thing is not to get lost in them or have them drag us back there. I know you are remembering your boys and what you did here with them and I can do nothing to change that. It's alright Louis. I know you are not that man anymore. Don't stress yourself over it.Remember, its okay but leave them where they are. In the past. This is our future. Our stag night before we give each other to the other for good and bad till death do us part.' Louis gave him a small smile.

'I adore you, you know that right?' Harry smiled giving him his full dimples.

'I kinda know yeah,' he said, his cheeks turning pink. Louis chuckled.

'I can't get over how you still get blush when I tell you something like this,' Louis pointed out. Harry shrugged.

'I just do,' he said quietly. Louis leaned over and pecked his lips.

'I love you but I'm still pissed at you for the ban you put on out sexual activities. I miss you and my hand is starting to cramp.' Harry slapped him playfully.

'Then stop doing what you're doing!'

'I can't! You turn me one specially when you're being a right little shit and parading in front of me in your underwear.' Harry giggled and shook his head.

'You are shameless!' Louis frowned.

'Don't tell me you haven't tossed one off with thoughts of me pounding into you?' Harry gasped and placed his hand on Louis' mouth shutting him up.

'I can't believe you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth.' Louis moved back releasing his mouth from Harry's monstrous hand.

'Tell me. Have you?' Harry blushed.

'Leave me alone you tempter,' Harry said giving him a grin. Louis pinched his cheek.

'You have haven't you you little devil?' he said in delight, making Harry blush harder. 'You miss it too don't you?' Louis moved closer to him, his lips hovering over Harry's.

'Hmm I'm getting horny picturing you pleasing yourself,' Louis told him huskily. Harry gulped felling a sudden rush of heat swarming throughout his body.

'Let's go inside shall we?' Harry told him, wanting to disperse the sexual tension between them. He did miss it and he cursed himself several times for coming up with this stupid idea but he wasn't going back. He will wait until his wedding night. Louis burst out laughing and placed a kiss on the side of Harry's neck.

'Come on let's go,' he told him as he stepped out of the car. Harry followed and they stared at the entrance to Garlands which was decorated with silver and black balloons. Harry squeezed his hand.

'Be nice to them. They put in a lot of thought and love into this.' Louis rolled his eyes at Harry.

'I do know how to behave myself and be nice to people you know.' Harry giggled.

'Sure you do,' he said a little sarcastically. They began walking towards the entrance.

'God if we didn't have this damned sex ban I would punish you for being a sarcastic little shit,' Louis told him, sounding regretful. 'The things I would do to you,' he whispered with a far away longing look in his eyes, which Harry knew he was actually envisioning what he would do to Harry. He had to admit that he wanted it. Wanted and needed to be punished by Louis. It had been so long since they played. For the wedding night, he promised himself.

Louis pushed open the door and stood aside to let Harry go in before him. As soon as they entered through the door, cheers greeted them. The club was decorated in black and silver. Black and silver balloons everywhere. Banners with "Congratulations", "Happy Couple", "Mr&Mr" and "Love Wins" where hung about the club. Their friends crowded them, hugging them and offering their congratulations. Louis' brother Ernest came over and hugged them both, then pulled back and beamed at them.

'I helped decorate,' he said happily. Louis smiled at him.

'Thank you. It's looks....amazing,' he said. Ernest hugged Harry.

'Soon to be my brother,' he told him and hugged him a little tighter. Ernest was not afraid to show affection in public. He was such a sweet lad. Harry hugged him back.

'Can't wait,' he told him. The drinks began flowing. Music was playing. Strippers were stripping and dancing and giving lap dances, the guests all whistling and cheering them on. Louis was glad to see that none of his boys were there. He made a mental note to thank Adam but he didn't have to wait long because Adam sauntered over to him, smiling.

'The man of the hour,' he said. 'Congratulations Mr. Tomlinson. Never would I have ever believed I would live to see you getting married. I mean people have never seen the Lock Ness monster or the Yeti have they? And you and marriage where just like that. The Loch Ness monster and a Yeti of marraiges. Fuck me sideways! A toast to you.' Louis smiled and clinked his glass to Adam's.

'Thank you,' Louis told him politely, 'and thank you for not having any of my ex boys work tonight.' Adam smiled knowingly.

'I wouldn't have done that to you or Harry. I'm so happy he found you. I'm so happy he changed you.You are not even the same person anymore. I mean like the fuck? You went from night to day! What did my highest paying ever stripper do to you?' Adam asked him as he looked towards Harry who was laughing with Marc and Ed. Louis took a sip of his drink, his eyes reverently fixed on his boy.

'He loved me without question. Believed in me without a doubt and saw the good in me without thinking twice.' Adam made a fond face and placed a hand on his heart.

'Awww,' he whined. Louis looked at him.

'And don't ever refer to Harry as your highest earning stripper ever again. I may be changed but my inner dragon is sleeping and it would be best you not awaken it,' he told him with a smile. Adam rolled his eyes.

'Yes. Sir,' he said playfully.

'Adam, can I see you for a second in your office. There's something I want to discuss with you,' Louis told him.

'On your stag night? Can't it wait?' Louis shook his head.

'No it can't. After the wedding we have a four week honeymoon ahead of us and I want to clear this now.' Adam nodded.

'Okay come on then.'

'Go ahead. I'll be right behind you,' Louis told him. As Adam walked towards his office, Louis walked towards Harry and his friends.

'Sweetheart, I'm going to Adam's office. There's something I need to discuss with him before the wedding.' Harry nodded. Louis looked at Zayn.

'Zayn, can you come to the office please?' he asked him and Zayn looked at Liam confused but followed Louis. Louis called Walter to follow them too. They walked in silence down the corridor towards Adam's office. Louis opened the door and they all filed in. Louis sat in the chair behind Adam's desk and they call looked at him and Louis looked back, his eyes on Adam.

'Well since in a couple of weeks I will no longer be a bachelor but a happily married man, I am here to relinquish my shares of Garlands.'

'What?' Adam shrieked. Louis gave him a small smile.

'Seeing Harry will make an honest man out of me, I no longer wish to be part owner of Garlands.I want to relinquish them and give them to Zayn.' Zayn's eyes went wide.

'What?' he asked, shocked.

'Zayn, I would like it very much if you stopped stripping for a living and become a partner with Adam instead of me. I know Liam doesn't like it very much that you strip so if you want, you can have my half of Garlands and run it with Adam. You will get all the profits and maybe with the money open up your own tattoo shop that you always dreamed of. Walter here has two contracts. One which I will sign giving over my shares of Garlands to you and one for you and Adam both to sign making you partners. Do you accept Zayn?' Zayn opened his mouth and closed it and opened it again but nothing came out. He swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly dry.

'Are you serious?' he finally asked Louis and Louis laughed.

'Of course I'm serious. Once I'm married I won't have time for this and frankly I don't want to have to have time for it. My time will be for my husband. So what do you say?'

'Yes God wow yes thank you Mr. Tomlinson,' Zayn said.

'Lovely and please Zayn do call me Louis. All your friends do,' Louis told him as he motioned for Walter to give him the documents. Before he signed, Louis looked at Zayn and Adam. I have only one condition. I want the VIP rooms to go. I don't want them whoring themselves anymore. I want the up stairs refurbished into living quarters for strippers that need a place to stay, rent free. I will help financially with the refurbishing and housing. If you both accept we can sign the contracts.' Zayn and Adam looked at each other. Zayn had never liked the VIP rooms and he had no problem with them going. He made his first decision as partner.

'I'm fine with it,' he said. Adam nodded.

'Same,' he said. Louis smiled happily.

'Lovely.We can all sign then.' Once the contracts were all signed by the parties involved, Louis suggested they go back to his stag night. Before they walked out, he pulled Zayn back a bit.

'I know you never trusted me with Harry and I thank you for taking care of him so much. My gratitude towards you is endless. I hope that now you can trust me a little bit more and know that I would never ever hurt Harry. When I say I do to him in a couple of weeks, I'm gonna mean it Zayn. I am going to promise to love him and cherish him for the rest of my life. He is my life and I would never hurt him. I would never jeopardize my relationship with him for anything.' Zayn nodded pensively then held out his hand to Louis which Louis took and shook.

'You have proved yourself to be trustworthy but hurt him or make him cry and I'll be there Louis. I'll be there to make you pay for it.'

'I appreciate you will be there to keep me inline should I step off it. Thank you for having Harry's best interests at heart.' Zayn smiled.

'And thank you for this. I can't believe I am part owner of Garlands. Liam will be over the moon when I tell him I can stop stripping. How did you know he hated me stripping?' Zayn asked him curiously. Louis sighed.

'Every man hates to see his man getting naked for other men and being touched and salivated over. Every man hates knowing other men are getting off his man,' Louis told him giving him a wink. Zayn nodded in understanding.

'You're a smart intelligent man,' Zayn commented. Louis laughed.

'Wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have my wits about me. Now come on, they must be looking for me.'

'Harry you mean,' Zayn teased and Louis just gave him a fond smile which said more than any words he could've uttered.

Back out in the main floor of the club, the party was in full swing. Champagne was flowing like water. Louis watched as Zayn gave Liam the news. He watched Liam's face for reactions : wide eyes, open mouth, disbelief, smile, joy, then he kissed Zayn hard on the lips and hugged him tight and Louis was happy. He was happy that he had made someone else happy. And then Liam was walking towards him and without words he simply hugged Louis.

'Thank you,' he whispered and his gratitude could be felt through his words. When he pulled back, Louis smiled at him.

'Well since you're now a graduated architect, let me know when you decide to start designing your own book shop slash coffee house. I would like to help you too.' Liam hugged him again and once upon a time Louis would have never been touched like this. He would have never allowed it and no one would have dared but he liked it. He felt loved and he honestly loved Harry's friends who had slowly turned into family. As Louis was basking in the warmth of love and alcohol, Marc came over and put his hand around his shoulder pulling him into his side for a hug.

'I can't believe you're getting married,' he slurred a little and Louis knew that Marc was on his way to being shit faced. 'You of all people getting married and settling down! My baby boy grew up and found love and look at you now!' Louis rolled his eyes playfully as he took another gulp of his champagne.

'Yes look at me now ready to commit for the rest of my life to the love of my entire being,' Louis said. Marc looked at him seriously.

'The way you talk about love and emotions when before...before....'

'Before I didn't have Harry,' he said simply.

'I'm gonna cry,' Marc whimpered.

'I would thank you not to do that or go do it somewhere else,' Louis said. Marc punched his arm playfully.

'Hey its quite manly to cry you know and be vulnerable.' But before Louis replied, Niall, Shawn, Liam, Zayn, Ed and Adam where crowding Louis, dragging him forward towards the stage where a chair sat facing the dark empty stage.

'What's this?' he asked laughing as he allowed them to lower him into the comfortable chair. 'Where's Harry?'

'Mate we have a surprise for you,' Niall said as he clapped him on the back. Louis looked around confused trying to locate Harry. Suddenly the lights went out and rowdy cheers rose from the crowd around him. A light came on behind the curtain on the stage that illuminated a figure behind the curtain. Louis knew that silhouette anywhere. "Bloom" by Troye Sivan started to play and Louis recognized it because Harry loved this song and he played it a lot. Whistles and cat calls sounded around him but all Louis could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears drowning out everything else around him. His pulse increased as Harry's silhouette swayed his hips to the music. The curtain fell away to reveal Harry,dressed smartly in black tailored pants, a white long sleeved shirt tucked into the pants and shiny black dress shoes. Louis realized that Harry was dressed the same way he had been dressed the first day that he had met him in the VIP room. Louis gulped. He prayed that Harry was not going to strip! But against his better judgement he knew that that was exactly what Harry was going to do.

A spotlight shone on Harry whilst another one shone down on Louis, plunging the rest of the crowded room into darkness, making them seem like they were the only two in the room. Harry began to dance, moving his hips seductively keeping his eyes locked on Louis as he began to unbutton his shirt buttons slowly one at a time as he lip synched the song which he knew by heart. He pulled the shirt free of his pants and continued to unbutton it, swaying his hips to the beat, his eyes locked with Louis'. When the shirt came off everyone screamed and whistled while Louis gulped again, his mouth suddenly dry. Harry winked at him, giving him a lopsided smirk, popping one dimple. He began fumbling with the button on the pants and Louis could feel himself growing harder. The song was about sex and Harry right now was sex personified who had put a ban on sex! Louis internally groaned as Harry undid the button and unzipped his pants but kept them on. He rid himself of his shoes, all the while his lithe body moving in time to the music and he was mouthing the damn words.

When he pulled off his pants, Louis felt as if he was going to spontenously combust. Harry stood there in a small pair of silver lycra boxers that did not leave much to one's imagination. Louis'eyes ate him up, his eyes caressing those long limbs and curves. His dick was filling up, straining against his pants which was getting tighter and tighter. Everyone around them was whistled and urged Harry on.

Harry continued to mouth the lyrics to Louis and to Louis alone as he walked towards him, swaying his hips in time to the music, his hands running up his torso, touching, caressing, running his fingers through his hair. When he was in front of Louis, his straddled his thighs but did not sit on him. He continued to mouth the sexy lyrics to Louis, his eyes never leaving his,giving him a hungry look that was driving Louis wild with need. Harry grated his hips over Louis and Louis could see that Harry was growing in his tiny boxers. By the second chorus Harry was sat in Louis' lap gyrating and moving his ass over Louis. When Louis went to touch him,he brushed his hands away and mouthed no and Louis growled in his throat because his boy was half naked sitting on his lap grounding down on him and he wouldn't fucking let him touch him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck and continued to move on his lap, feeling his hard erection. He leaned forward and whispered into his ear :

 

'I bloom....just for....you,' seductively and Louis groaned. As the song came to an end, Harry winked at him again and licked his lips. The lights went off and everyone screamed for more. Louis could still feel Harry still sitting on his lap, his ass on his hard dick. Harry leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. He knew exactly what he was doing to Louis!

The music started up again, the spotlights turned red, engulfing Harry and Louis in a red glow. Harry got up off Louis but stood in front of him as "Entertainer"began to play, soft, mellow and sexy. Harry turned his back to Louis giving him an eyeful of his perky ass. Harry began to sway and dance to the sultry music, his body glistening in the red glow. Louis'mouth fell open as he watched him sexily move his body. He looked every inch the professional stripper! Louis wondered when he had become so good at this! Harry turned and straddled Louis' lap again,placed his hands on his shoulders and leaned back, throwing his head back as he ground his ass down on Louis and Louis could feel the tears prick his eyes at how horny he was and from the desire burning inside of him for his boy. He really wanted and needed to make love to his boy! Harry leaned forwards, his lips close to Louis ear.

'You can touch me now,' he whispered seductively. Louis didn't need to be told twice. He ran his hands up his thighs, to his hips and dug his fingers into his soft flesh. Wolf whistles and cheers erupted around them. Harry continued to give him the sexiest, hottest lap dance Louis had ever received in his life. Harry cupped his face, his lips inches away from Louis', mouthing the words as he gyrated on him.Louis was becoming breathless and at some point he bucked his hips up, jostling Harry a little. He was losing his control. He wanted him! Harry captured his lips in a sweet, seductive kiss, running the tip of his tongue on Louis' lower lip and Louis parted his lips for him and bucked up again into him.

'Please Harry,' Louis mouthed against his lips because he was sure he was going to pass out if he didn't get to bury himself inside his beautiful, sexy boy. Harry smiled against his lips as the song came to an end. This time when the music stopped and the lights went out,Harry got up off of him immediately. A soft light came on, keeping most of the room shrouded in darkness. As Harry bowed for the applause, he leaned forward towards Louis and kissed his cheek.

'Come in the dressing room,' he whispered then he waved at everyone and fled. Louis could hardly breathe let alone get up off the chair. His boner was evident and he placed his hands in his lap trying to hide it a little. As soon as everyone went to the bar for drinks, he sprang up off the chair and headed towards the dressing rooms. He pushed open the door and found Harry waiting for him.

'Hi,' Harry said demurely yet sexily. He wore a satin robe over those damn tiny lycra boxers. Louis groaned.

'How can you look so innocent after that show you pulled out there?' Louis asked him. Harry smiled at him.

'Did you like the show?'

'Like it? Can't you see what you've done to me?' Louis asked him indicating his boner. 'If it weren't for your ban on sex I would fuck you right here right now.' Harry's dick twitched in the tiny silver boxers. His semi was prominent too. He walked towards him,s lowly.When he was before him, Harry bit his lower lip seductively.

'There are things we can do together without having sex,' he said his voice deep slow and Louis wanted to slam him up against the wall and bury himself inside of him in one thrust. Louis was panting a little harshly, his erection hard and pressing. He looked at Harry.

'There is not much we can do Harry,' he said a little gruffly. He was frustrated and sexually deprived. Harry smirked at him.

'Wanking can be hot especially if we do it together and watch each other doing it.' Louis' eyes went wide.

'What?' he asked. Harry reached behind him and locked the door then took his hand and led him to a couch. He sat down and pulled him down next to him. He looked at Louis, his eyes dark with lust and arousal.

'You told me that you touch yourself while thinking of me. I want to see you. I've never seen you touch yourself and I want to see you touch yourself for me. I want to see you cum for me.' Louis nearly choked on his own spit.

'You...you w-want to see me....' He let the words trail off. Harry wanted to see him wank? What the fuck? Harry ran his hand up his thigh, his fingers dangerously close to his dick.

'Yes I want to see you touch yourself while whispering my name. I want to see you unravel yourself before me.'

'Harry I....I,' Louis choked out. He had never done anything of the sort in front of anyone. Harry leaned forward, his lips hovering over Louis'.

'I'll touch myself for you too. I'll cum for you,' he whispered and Louis didn't know what the fuck had gotten into Harry but he was hot and seductive and Louis liked it and he wanted to please him. He wanted to see Harry touch himself too. He nodded and unfastened the button of his trousers and pulled down the zip. He pulled himself out of his pants, rock hard and leaking. Harry licked his lips as he pulled himself out of his small boxers. He reached into a bowl on the table that was full of condoms and tossed one over to Louis. Louis gave him a curious look.

'So we won't make a mess,' Harry explained,giving him a wink. Louis nodded and they both ripped the packets and commenced to roll the condoms over their hard dicks together. When they were done, they looked at each other, their eyes full of desire and lust and lots of love and trust. Harry's eyes were fixed on him and he could see that Louis was a little bit conflicted about this.Harry knew how intimate and personal something like this was so Harry took matters into his own hand. He had done this before in front of Louis when Louis had made him touch himself and he felt a little happy and smug even that this was Louis' first time. Harry wrapped his hand around his dick and initiated things to make Louis feel a tease and turn him on even more that would leave him no choice but to jerk himself off.

Harry slid his hand down his hard shaft, his eyes never leaving Louis'. He hissed at the touch and slid his hand up, running his thumb over his slit, pressing it in. He made whining noise and a soft "ahhh" left his parted lips followed by a hiss through his teeth. Louis groaned in the back of his throat as he watched his his boy pleasure himself. Harry picked up a rhythm, his fist going up and down his dick, occasionally pressing his thumb into his slit, moaning loudly at the feeling. Louis felt as if he was going to explode and he couldn't hold back any longer. He didn't want to hold back any longer! After all this was Harry! His Harry! His husband in just two weeks! He wrapped his hand around his dick and began tugging and pulling. His breathing hitched as he saw Harry's eyes widen and clamp his teeth down on his bottom lip as a louder moan escaped him.

'God,' Louis mumbled, 'you're so fucking hot baby.' Harry smiled and began thrusting up into his fist. Louis watched his thigh and hip muscles contract with each movement and Harry bucked up into his fist and he picked up a mantra of "ahhh ahhh ahhhh". Louis increased his hand movements tugging, pulling, playing with his slit.

'More honey,' Louis panted as his eyes took in his beautiful boy. Harry obeyed and increased his movements, thrusting up without reserve and watching Louis jerk himself off.

'I'm close,' Harry whined breathlessly. 'Louis Louis Louis,' he begged but for what Louis did not know. However he reached out and took Harry's free hand in his own, lacing his fingers through Harry's and squeezed his hand gently.

'I'm close too sweetheart,' Louis moaned. Harry's whines increased and Louis watched him go still, screw his eyes tightly shit and spill inside the condom. The sight made Louis jerk himself harder and faster, chasing his own orgasm.

'Ahhh God Harry baby fuck,'Louis moaned. A few more tugs and he came in the condom, squeezing Harry's hand tightly. They both relaxed on the couch, breathing fast and hard coming down from their orgasm. Both their hearts pounded against their rib cage as if it wanted to beat out of them. Louis offered Harry a lazy smile.

'Wow,' he breathed, 'that was....that was....wow.' Harry grinned back at him equally lazy.

'I told you we can do things without actually having sex,' he purred. Louis leaned forward and captured his lips in a loving kiss.

'I love you. I adore you,' he said against his lips. A loud knock on the door made them both jump.

'I know you two buggers are doing the dirty in there,' Niall yelled from outside the door. 'Get your asses back out here you horny fuckers!' He knocked again.

'Fuck off Niall!' Louis yelled. Niall banged on the door again.

'I'm giving you five minutes to get your shit together and rejoin your stag party. If you're not out by....'

'Alright alright,' Louis cut him off. 'We're coming!'

'We already have,' Harry said in what he assumed was a low voice. Louis burst out laughing.

'I heard that Harry you dirty little shit!'

'We'll be out in a sec,' Louis promised as Harry covered his mouth and continued to giggle. Niall left. Louis and Harry took off the condoms and disposed of them. They used wipes to clean themselves off. Louis tucked himself back in his pants and Harry put his clothes back on. They kissed each other again, opened the door and joined the party. They danced together, slow and close even to music that was upbeat. They just held each other and swayed, not really caring about the type of music that was playing. They kissed, nice and slow, languidly,smiling into each kiss, breathing in each other and not getting enough of each other. One song turned into another and they stayed attached, body and lips. Their friends looked at them with smiles on their faces and much love for the couple that had been so unlikely to remain together, yet here they were at their stag party two weeks before their wedding.

Finally their friends pulled them apart, taking them to the bar where they got more champagne and tequila shots. Louis watched Harry take shot after shot, laughing and downing tequila while he stuck to the champagne because by the looks of it, Harry was going to get totally hammered and he had to be at least partially sober to look after him. Louis wanted him to enjoy himself with his friends and celebrate his last few days as a single man. In two weeks, Harry would become Mr. Harry Tomlinson. He will be legally his husband. Louis sighed contentedly as he took another sip of champagne and looked at Harry getting blissfully wasted.

Walter came up beside him and poured himself a glass of champagne from the bottle chilling in the ice bucket.

'Last few days of freedom for you,' Walter told him. 'How do you feel?' Louis smiled, genuinely happy.

'I feel excited to start this new journey with him. I can't wait for the day.' Walter laughed out loud.

'Says the man who never believed in love, marriage or commitment,' Walter said.

'I only believe in them because of him. He's the reason I believe in love and all of that. I'm very lucky and very blessed and I'm ready to commit myself to him for the rest of my life.' Walter looked at him fondly.

'I'm so happy for you Louis. Honestly I am. You deserve all of this and more. And by the way, just so you know, a few days ago Harry asked me to draw up a pre-nup. That boy seriously doesn't give a shit about your money.' Louis took a sip of champagne, his eyes still on Harry as he downed another shot and nearly spit it out laughing at something Niall had just told him.

'Ignore it,' Louis said. 'I will not sign any pre-nup shit. What I have will be his too. He can throw as many hissy fits as he likes. In two weeks he will be my husband and he will accept all that I have. For richer or poorer right? He will take me for my riches too so fuck that shit. I'm not signing it.' Walter chuckled.

'He also asked me about the house. If I changed the deed. I really don't know where you found that boy. What do I do?'

'Keep stalling. Keep telling him you're busy and you'll get round to it whenever you're free. At least until we are married. I'll make sure he will be so happy that he will not have time to think about this nonsense.' Walter nodded.

'Anything you say boss,' Walter said as he drained his champagne glass. Cheers rose from their friends as they all began dancing with a very drunk Harry. He was happy and smiling, singing and dancing. Louis drained his glass and walked over to Harry.

'Hey sweetheart,' Louis said and Harry smiled so big as he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer, crushing his body to his.

'My love,' he slurred heavily, his eyes red and droopy. 'Dance with me.' Louis placed his hands on his waist.

'Honey I think I should get you home. You are pretty wasted.' Harry smiled lazily.

'M'not wasted. M'happy. Imma marry you,' he slurred. Louis laughed.

'Well thank you for the reassurance but really honey, I should get you home and into bed. You're gonna have a fuck of a hangover tomorrow.' Harry buried his face in his neck.

'I love you so much...so so soooo so much. You are my life. You are my beginning, you complete me and you end me,' Harry slurred heavily as he swayed in Louis' arms. Louis held him so he wouldn't fall. He knew he was totally shit faced. His words where slower, heavier and he really had to get him home. Niall came over.

'He's wasted,' he told Louis laughing. Harry pulled back and grinned.

'Nialler. My best friend. I love you,' he said as he hugged him tightly. Niall smiled and hugged him.

'I love you too buddy. You should get home Hazza baby. You need to sleep it off.' Harry scowled at him comically.

'But imma having fun.It's my party and...and Louis' party. We're getting married,' he said slowly, then he looked at them both as if he was just delivering the news for the first time. 'We are getting married,' he yelled and everyone cheered. 'I am marrying this beautiful man right here.' Harry swayed again and Louis caught him.

'Alright baby enough. I'm calling Angus,' Harry pouted but didn't protest.

'One for the road?' he asked Niall with puppy eyes and pouting lips.

'Sure buddy. I'll go get you one,' he told him as he went off to get him a final drink and Louis called Angus. Harry wrapped himself around Louis, his body flush against him.

'Have I told you that I love you yet?' Harry asked him and Louis smiled.

'You have baby,' Louis replied, keeping a sure arm wrapped around his waist because he wasn't sure Harry's legs were going to keep him up any longer. Niall came back with a drink for Harry.

'Here you go,' he told him as he handed him the glass. Harry took it.

'I want to make a toast,' he said, getting the attention of everyone close to him who looked at him with smiles on their faces. Harry raised his glass towards Louis.

'To my soon to be husband. You are everything a partner should be. You love me as I should be loved. You respect me as I should be respected and you fuck me as.....' Louis placed a hand on his mouth cutting him off.

'Alright none of that,' he said smiling but everyone was cheering and asking for more.Harry removed his hand and smiled wickedly.

'And you fuck me brilliantly, keeping me satisfied and begging for more. I'm the lucky one. I get to have all of you. I get to marry you. I am hopelessly in love with you and I want to thank you for loving me so wonderfully. Cheers!' He raised his glass, everyone did too then downed their drink. No sooner had he swallowed his drink, Harry was on Louis,kissing him hard, his tongue deep into his mouth, Louis tasting the alcohol that he had just drank. Everyone cheered and clapped. Harry pulled back a little and looked at Louis with hooded eyes.

'I want to go home and I want you to fuck me,' he said hoarsely.

'Harry,' Louis began but Harry interrupted him.

'I want you to play with my body Louis. I want you to lick me up and down and I want you deep inside me,' he said against his lips and the way he was talking and his hooded eyes and his body so pliant against Louis' was making Louis hard. He could feel Harry subtly rutting against him. Louis stilled him by placing his hands firmly on his hips.

'Harry stop,' he whispered barely able to keep any control.

 

'I want you,' Harry continued, kissing his ear and sucking on his earlobe. Louis closed his eyes, feeling his resolve being stripped away from him. He had to get Harry home and into bed.....to sleep!

'Baby please stop,' Louis begged him. Harry decided to be a devil. He smirked at him and bit his lower lip.

'You know you want to. You know you want to stick it in me and pound inside of me. You can tie me up if you want. I'll be a good boy for you. I'll let you do whatever you want to me. Anything.' Louis was turned on by Harry's dirty talk. Lucky for him, Adam came over to inform them that Angus was here and he distracted Harry who began to hug everyone and shouting :

'See you at our wedding!' Niall, Liam and Zayn accompanied them outside to where the car was waiting for them. They hugged them both and said their goodnight. They helped Louis ge tHarry in the car and once he was settled in, Louis got in and Angus pulled out of the parking lot towards home.

During the car ride, Harry was relentless. 'I'm so horny,' he whispered to Louis as he took his hand and placed it on his hard dick. 'Can you fuck me when we get home?' Harry asked him and it was so innocent that Louis smiled.

'What about your ban on sex until the wedding night hmm?' Louis asked him as he ran his fingers through his mass of curls. Harry leaned into his touch like a cat. He shrugged.

'Don't care. Fuck that ban. I want you to fuck me so hard....' Louis leaned over and kissed him, cutting him off. Harry kissed him back sloppily.He was seconds away from falling asleep and Louis knew it was the alcohol talking. There was no way he was going to take advantage of Harry tonight and jeopardize their wedding. He knew that if he gave in and fucked him while intoxicated, in the morning Harry would see things differently and that would surely jeopardize their wedding because Harry would be upset and as much as Louis wanted him, he wasn't going to do this to him. He was going to respect the ban Harry had put on sex and honor his wishes. Harry ran his hand up Louis'inner thigh as he nuzzled his neck and planted wet kisses on his hot skin. Louis closed his eyes and took in a deep breath trying to will his body not to react to Harry's seduction. Alcohol brought out a very dirty side to Harry but then again, alcohol made one horny and since Harry wasn't coherent right now, Louis had to be in charge and stop this.

Luckily the drive home was short. At almost three in the morning, the streets where empty. As soon as the car stopped, Louis got out and helped Harry who was stuck to him like a sloth. He carefully helped him into the elevator and pressed the button to their floor. Harry pushed Louis back till his back was flush to the wall.

'Can't wait till you're inside me,' he whispered hotly as he rutted against Louis' hard on. Louis huffed. He needed him to go to sleep already. The door opened and Louis gently pushed him off of him. Harry stumbled a little and started to giggle.

'Come on you menace,' Louis told him fondly. 'Lets get you to bed you drunk!'

'M'not drunk. M'happy,' Harry slurred. Louis smiled and kissed his cheek. He pushed open the door to their bedroom and allowed Harry in first. As soon as Louis closed the door behind him,Harry grinned.

'Shall I strip for you?' he asked him, aiming to be sexy but was actually funny, swaying there on those long legs and hiccuping.

'How about I undress you love?' Louis asked him. 'You stripped enough for one night.' Harry hiccuped again.

'I am a very professional stripper I will have you know,' he said as he allowed Louis to lead him to the bed and sit him down.

'Sure you are honey, ' Louis told him fondly. He got down on his knees and started to take off Harry's shoes.

'You look ready to suck my dick,' Harry said and burst out laughing. Louis looked up at him a little shocked to hear such crude language from Harry so shamelessly but he burst out laughing too because Harry was really funny like this. Harry fumbled with his zipper. Louis placed a hand on his, stopping him.

'I'll do it for you,' he offered and Harry grinned.

'Eager are we?' he asked in between hiccups.

'Yes eager to get you to bed,' Louis replied. 

 

When his shoes where off, he took off the rest of his clothes till Harry and just in his boxers. Louis went to the dresser and got Harry a pair of fluffy socks. He resumed his position on his knees and put them on. When he was done, he helped Harry up and pulled back the duvet.

'In you go,' Louis said. Harry pouted.

'You need to take off my boxers if you're going to fuck me silly,' he said giggling. Louis cupped his face and pecked his cheeks.

'I will sweet heart. Get in and let me just get my handcuffs. You still want me to tie you up right?' Harry nodded fast which sent his sideways.

'Oops,' he said and giggled. Louis helped him into bed and covered him.

'Wait for me. I'll be back shortly.' He placed a kiss on his forehead. Harry nodded, smiled and closed his eyes. Louis went into the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. Then went into the dressing room and changed, taking it slowly hoping that Harry would just fall asleep. By the time he got back into the bedroom, Harry was sprawled on his back, snoring deeply.Louis sighed with relief. He got in bed, turned off the lights and cuddled up to Harry.

'Goodnight sweetheart.'

X

The following week was a frenzy of final arrangements and making calls to check that everything would be done and ready for the special day. Harry was very nervous and excited as was Louis but Louis managed to keep a cool head in front of Harry just so Harry knew that he could rely on him and that he was there for him. In all honesty, Louis was ready to shit himself. He was scared! Terrified even! He had called his mum several times voicing his fears out to her and she had managed to calm him down and talk sense and peace into him. He always felt better after their phone calls and ever so ready to tie the knot.

Saturday morning, his four sisters came and took Harry away for the day. They took him to a spa where they had full body massages, facials, manicures, pedicures and other beauty things then after, they all went to a hairdresser where they got hair treatments and trims. They they went off for a late lunch. Harry was returned to Louis after six pm looking radiant, relaxed and very soft. Louis greeted him with a loving kiss.

'God I missed you,' he murmured against his soft lips. Harry smiled.

'I missed you too. So much.'

'How did my sister's treat you?' Louis asked him as he took his hand and together they made their was upstairs.

'Very good.They had everything planned and it was amazing. We had healthy juices at the spa and platters of fruit. And during our manicures and pedicures we were served champagne and strawberries. It was so relaxing. Then we had a late lunch at a seafood place. We had oysters,' Harry told him.

I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself. You look very relaxed.'

'I am,' Harry said as Louis opened the bedroom door and they walked inside. Harry sighed contentedly. He turned to Louis.

'I should pack my bag since I leave tomorrow morning.' Louis nodded.

'I wish you didn't have to go. A week without you is making for a very lonely week.' Harry wrapped his arms around his neck.

'I will miss you too. We will call and text but I need this week Lou. I need to reconnect with my dad and visit my mum. Then you and I will have forever.' Louis let out a breath.

'I know sweetheart. I want you to enjoy your last week as a free man then you're mine,' Louis said as he attacked his lips. Harry giggled.

'Been yours since the moment I laid my eyes on you silly,' he said as Louis continued to peck his lips.

'Yeah but now it will be official. You will have my name. I'm so proud to give it to you.' Harry felt his insides melt at the words. He kissed him slower, deeper, letting his body mold with Louis'. Louis pulled back.

'Can't wait to make love to you,' he whispered.

'Same same,' Harry said a little too eagerly. Louis pecked his lips a final time then pulled away from him.

'There's something I need to discuss with you before you leave,' Louis told him as he walked across the room and plopped down on the bed.

'Okay,' Harry said.

'It's about the honeymoon,' Louis said and Harry's eyes lit up because so far, Louis had mentioned nothing about the honeymoon. Harry sat down beside him and Louis took his hand.

'I know I've been quite secretive about our honeymoon but I wanted to surprise you.' Harry smiled broadly.

'I'm ready to be surprised,' Harry said and Louis chuckled.

'Okay so after the wedding we are flying back to London. I rented a jet because we will be needing ours,' Louis said,stressing on the word ours. Harry blushed. Louis kissed his cheek. 'So once we are aboard our jet we will be going to the Philippines for a week.' Harry's eyes went wide.

'The Philippines? I've always wanted to go there. Oh my God thank you Louis.' Louis laughed.

'Don't just thank me yet. After a week in the Philippines we will be flying to Thailand for another week. Then...wait for it. You are going to love this. After a week in Thailand we will be going for a week in India.' Harry squealed loudly.

'India?Oh my God Louis what the fuck? I can't believe it! Are we really going to India?' Louis grinned at his boy's enthusiasam.

'Yes we are really going to India. And to finish off our month long honeymoon we will end it by spending a week in Rio de Janiero Brazil.' Harry opened his mouth then thought better of it and just jumped on Louis pinning him to the bed.

'I love you. I love you. I love you. What an amazing honeymoon. They're all places I have been wanting to visit especially India. Oh my God Louis thank you.' Louis laughed and sat up, holding Harry in his lap as he straddled him. Louis kissed him lightly.

'I am so happy to see you so happy. Just one thing honey. While you are in your hometown, I made an appointment with a doctor at your local pharmacy and you need to go there for a few shots alright.' Harry nodded and kissed Louis.

'Alright. Guess I should be packing for our honeymoon too then since I'm leaving tomorrow. Oh my God I have so much to do,' Harry said as he scrambled off Louis' lap already panicking.

'Hey easy yeah. I'll help you. We don't need to pack much. Just a few t-shirts, shorts and swimming shorts. Whatever else we need we will buy. Talking of which, I have a pre-wedding gift for you.' Harry bit his lip.

'You are giving me so much Lou.' Louis got up and went to the dresser. Opened the top drawer and pulled out a small rectangular box which he handed to Harry. Harry took it and Louis watched him as he opened it. Harry's eyes bulged out of their sockets. He looked at Louis and was about to shake his head.

'Don't,' Louis said. 'You will need that.' Harry looked at him.

'You just gave me a platinum credit card with my name on it!'

'Yes I did because you will be my husband soon and I want you to have access to our money.'

'Louis no!'

'Harry yes!' Louis said mockingly. Harry sat down on the bed still holding the credit card.

'I cant accept this,' he said quietly. Louis sat down beside him.

'Sweetheart as of next week, what I have is yours too. That happens in marriage.' Harry looked at him a little guiltily.

'I...I asked Walter to....'

'I know,' Louis cut him off. 'He told me and there ain't no way in hell I'm signing a fucking pre-nup Harry.

'But Louis...'

'Harry baby listen to me. I don't care about my wealth. I could careless about my money and properties and cars. You are my wealth. You. Just you and I will not sign a pre-nup. Harry, you are it for me. There will never be an other man in my life. Ever. You are the beginning and the end for me. You are the only person I will commit to for the rest of my life. I can never leave you. Ever. And I know it is the same for you. I trust you. And should something happen that would bring us to a divorce, even then I will take care of you and make sure you are alright financially but I know we would never come to that. Honey please accept that all I have is yours too. For better or worse, richer or poorer right? Please let me share with you. I know you and I trust you. I know that you don't care about wealth or all the other things that money can buy but I'm a very wealthy man and you are going to be my wealthy husband. So please accept that. What's mine is yours. Please?' Harry chewed on his bottom lip nervously as he looked at the shiny credit card in his hands with Mr. Harry Tomlinson stamped on it. It felt heavy like lead and it burned in his hand even though the plastic was cold. He looked up at Louis.

'You are it for me too you know. I could never ever think of being with anyone else. I don't have much to give you Louis but all I have is yours too. I have my mother's house which is now ours. I love you Louis and I accept. I promise that should we ever come to a point where we have to divorce, I would not ask you for one penny.' Louis pecked his lips.

'I know sweetheart. I know. But just so you know, after we come back from the honeymoon, there are papers for you to sign just to make everything legal, papers making you my partner in everything I own.Now, shall we start packing?'

 

 

x

 

 

The next morning, Louis drove with Harry to the airport. As Angus drove them in the early hours of Sunday morning, Louis held his hand tightly, not wanting to let go of him. When Angus parked in front of the VIP lounge, Louis went in with him.

'I can't believe I won't see you for a week,' Louis said, his voice thick. Harry cupped his cheek.

'I'm going to miss you so much but its only a week. We have forever right?'

'Right,' Louis nodded. An airport attendant came over.

'Mr. Tomlinson, your jet is ready for take off.'

'Thank you,' Louis told her. She walked away. They both looked at each other, neither of them wanting to leave. Harry spoke first.

'Okay so Margo will be there to over look everything. Relax okay. She's good at her job and she will take care of everything on Saturday. All you have to do is greet the guests when they start arriving. You don't have to worry about anything.'

'Okay,' Louis said.

'I better go then,' Harry said.

'Say hello to my mum alright. Tell her I will see her on Friday morning.'

'I will.' Louis leaned in and kissed him hard. 'I'll see you Saturday.' Harry smiled into the kiss.

'I will be the one walking down the aisle towards you.'

'Can't wait,' Louis said against his lips.

'Can't wait,' Harry echoed, placing another kiss on his lips, then picked up his bag and walked away from Louis towards the gate. Louis physically felt his heart being torn in two.

'I love you Harry,' Louis called out before Harry stepped out on to the tarmac. Harry turned and gave him a dimpled smile.

'I love you Lou. See you at our wedding.' With that Harry left, following the airport attendant towards the jet. He boarded without looking back because he knew that if he did, he would run back to Louis.

 

COMING UP SOON CHAPTER 39 AND YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO THE WEDDING!!!!


	39. We've Only Just Begun To Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL ONES ARE YOU ALL DRESSED UP FOR THE WEDDING? HOPE EVERYONE IS ALRIGHT AND DOING WELL IN THE NEW YEAR. I AM SORRY I AM LATE WITH THIS UPDATE BUT DAMN IT WAS HARD TO WRITE. HAD TO DO A LOT OF RESEARCH TO PLAN A WEDDING AND FIND VOWS AND SPEECHES BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT AND I HOPE YOU WILL LOVE THIS WEDDING AS MUCH AS I HAVE WRITING IT. I WANT TO SAY A VERY BIG AND HUMBLE THANK YOU BECAUSE ADSOL IS AT 82K READS ON WATTPAD AND OVER 20K READS ON HERE AND HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I COULD CRY AND HUG ALL OF YOU. I AM SO HAPPY. BUT I AM ALSO SAD THAT ITS COMING TO AN END. MAYBE THAT'S WHY I TAKE MY TIME WITH WRITING BECAUSE SECRETLY I DON'T WANT IT TO END BUT I KNOW IT HAS TO. EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD MUST COME TO AN END! AND SO DOES ADSOL! HOWEVER, ON A GOOD NOTE I DID SAY IT WILL END AT CHAPTER 40 BUT IT WILL NOT! THERE WILL DEF BE AN EPILOGUE AND YOU GUYS KNOW HOW LONG MY CHAPTERS ARE SO WE DO HAVE A BIT MORE TO GO. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MY FRIEND SHREYA GAIN WHO HELPED ME WITH THE INDIA PART AND THUS I GAVE HER A PART IN THE STORY. ENJOY YOUR TIME WITH LARRY SHREYA!!! OKAY GUESS I SHOULD GO AND LET YOU READ. I WOULD APPRECIATE COMMENTS BECAUSE THEY KEEP ME COMPANY AND MAKE ME SMILE......ALSO.....DON'T HATE ME TOO MUCH *INSERTS EVIL CACKLE*....TRUST IN ME GUYS. ALL THE LOVE, M

We've Only Just Begun To Live.

 

Leeds Prison.

 

Robert was escorted to the infirmary yet again as he complained of chest pains. In reality he was fit as a fiddle and his imaginary illnesses were nothing more than a ruse to fool the guards and get him into the infirmary where he could spend some time chatting with Craig with whom he had become rather close.

Craig had faked a heart condition for Robert and he had warned the Warden that his condition was serious and that if they refused him medical attention when he needed it and something were to happen to his patient, he would hold him responsible. Thus, Robert often made trips to the infirmary complaining of his fake heart condition were he was kept for a few days to "rest without stress because of his grave heart condition", giving him and Craig ample time to talk and scheme.

'Doc he's complaining of chest pains again,' the guard told Craig sounding uninterested and bored. Craig raised an eyebrow at the guard.

'Officer if the patient says he's in pain you don't get to doubt that. That is how we lose patients. Place him on the bed please.' Robert looked up at the guard with fake pained eyes as he clutched his chest. The guard shook his head. He didn't believe Robert one bit but since the doctor was more experienced in this field than he was, he thought better than to voice his opinions. After all he didn't want to land some lawsuit on the Warden's doorstep! Once the guard left, Robert looked at Craig.

'What news do you bring me from the big wide world outside?' he asked him as he found a comfortable position on the bed, one leg crossed over the other and arms folded behind his head on the pillow. Craig looked pissed off and angry.

'They are getting married in a week Robert. They are happy while my brother is in prison. He was raped last week. They had to stitch him up and I can't have that done to him to again. I went to visit him and he's broken. That bastard son of yours needs to be in that fucking prison not my brother but he's out there living his best life, getting married to the love of his life. We need to act. Now!' Robert chewed on his bottom lip pensively.

'Your brother is none of my concern,' he said calmly. 'Hmmm shouldn't I be walking my son down the aisle or something?' Robert asked dreamily. Craig's face turned red.

'Cut the shit Robert! If you need my help you need to help me. If you won't, I have means to go after the bastard myself.' Robert sat up quickly, his calm demeanor vanishing.

'You try to go after him and ruin my plans and I swear to God I will have you removed,' Robert threatened. Craig chuckled.

'And how are you going to do that from inside here uh with no connection to the outside world? You're just talk and nothing else.' Robert gave him a smile.

'Carry on underestimating me. It will be so much fun watching you lose. Now listen here, I need you to keep eyes out there. I have a plan.'

'And that would be?' Craig asked him.

'I'm going to try for bail again even though my good behavior conduct is fucked up because of that piece of trash of a son of mine. He keeps setting me up and I keep get punished, further tarnishing my record which will not get me in any judge's good graces to grant me bail.'

'You won't make bail you know that. You're a pedophile who abused his son for years. Who beat and raped his wife. Besides, you know as well as I do that he pays them to deny you bail. He has them all on his payroll. That lawyer of his gets in the bribes. People in the justice system are corrupt. They take the bribes and don't give a shit what happens in hell holes like these as long as their pockets are full. You need money, loads of money if you want to corrupt a judge and buy your bail.' Robert chuckled.

'That my friend, is plan A. Get money.' Craig laughed sarcastically.

'And pray how are you going to get that large amount of money, enough to bribe a judge?' It was Robert who laughed now.

'Oh you of little faith. My son is going to give me the money I need.' Craig looked at him confused. Robert rolled his eyes. 'My son wants something from me. He wants me to relinquish my surname and divorce his mother. I intend to do that. For ten million. He will give them to me because he is naive and stupid. He is desperate to cut all ties with me so he doesn't see the big picture. He will pay thinking he will get rid of me but no Sir no. That money will buy my freedom and he will curse himself when he hears I'm out and that I'm out by his own hand. Then and only then will we go after my son. Not a moment before.' Craig gave him a hard look.

'If your plan falls through, I'm going after him myself. That bastard needs to pay and I'm not in the mood to wait any longer. Do you get that?' Robert licked his lips and smirked at him.

'Do not threaten me Craig. You don't want to be on my receiving end,' Robert threatened. Craig moved closer to him, his face inches from his.

'Remember, I'm your only contact to the outside world and I'm the one who got you privileges in here. You would best remember that you need me. I don't need you!'

 

 

x

 

Harry arrived at Richmond and was driven to the Richmond Estate by Hugh who had been waiting for him and the airport. Johanna greeted him at the door and hugged him tightly.

'Just six days to go,' she told him excitedly as they sat in the living room and Maggie brought in tea. 'Are you nervous?' Harry nodded.

'I am. I'm nervous, excited, happy. I'm everything. I can't wait to become his husband,' he said with a happy grin on his face. Johanna reached out and took his hand.

'I'm getting another son. Our family keep on growing bigger. Have you talked about kids? I can't wait to become a grandmother,' she said unable to conceal her excitement. Harry's smile grew smaller and weaker.

'He um Louis he um doesn't want kids and I'm alright with it.'

'What?' Johanna asked him a little bit shocked and thrown off by what Harry told her. Harry gave her a small smile but she could tell it was forced and a little sad.

'Louis doesn't want kids. He doesn't like them so we agreed that it will be just the two of us and I'm okay with it. I love him so much and he loves me too and we only really need each other. I'm sorry if we won't be the ones to make you a grandmother Jay.' Johanna waved her hand at him, trying to hide her disappointment.

'Don't be silly my darling. I have you two and my other babies. I have more than I have ever hoped for. So tell me about the wedding,' she told him changing the subject because she didn't want to bring any sadness into this happy time. Harry took a sip of his tea and looked at his watch.

'Margo, the wedding planner should be here in an hour to see the house. She will be here all week. She's booked into a hotel that Louis paid for. She will oversee everything. The decorators should be in by Thursday to start decorating the interior and exterior of the house. The tent and fairy lights will be put up Friday morning. Also Louis told me to tell you that he will be down Friday morning. Most of the guests are flying in or driving over on Friday and staying at hotels the Louis' assistant Leonard booked. Marc and Ed are flying in on Friday evening. Marc will bring Louis' wedding suit Saturday morning. I'll be arriving with my dad and Marge Saturday morning. It's all taken care of so you and your household won't have to do anything and Jay thanks again for letting us have the wedding here. The garden looks so beautiful.' Johanna smiled at him brightly.

'I was so happy when you asked me to have it here. My son is getting married! My baby boy! I'm so emotional. I bet I will cry on your wedding day.' Harry sighed.

'Liam, Zayn Shawn, Niall, Ed and Marc have bets amongst themselves that I will be a crying mess on the day.' Johanna laughed.

'I bet you will be,' she told him fondly. Harry looked down, a small smile on his lips.

'I'm trying to convince myself not to cry but I will probably be so overwhelmed when I will see him there, waiting for me. I just....I love him so much and I know its not sensible to make someone your whole world but he is mine. He's my world, my universe, my solar system.' Johanna reached out and took his hand.

'You are the same to him and as a mother I can never thank you enough for loving my son the way you do. For understanding him and standing by him through his darkest times. For never giving up on him. Louis deserves love and happiness and you gave them to him despite everything. You didn't run away. You gave him stability and I can never ever thank you Harry. You brought my son out of a horrifying life out into the light and a mother can never be thankful enough.' A few tears escaped Johanna's eyes. Harry patted her hand.

'You don't have to thank me Jay. Love is there to be given freely. I loved Louis at first sight. We had hard times sure and many times I thought I was going to lose him and if that had happened, it would've ended me. Now, I'm just a few days away from marrying him and I couldn't be happier. Shall we go out to lunch just you and I? A little pre-wedding bonding?' Harry gave her a dimpled smile which Johanna returned.

'That's wonderful Harry.We can go to the golf club. We are members there. I'll get changed and we can go.'

Half an hour later, Jay and Harry entered the lavish club. Johanna was greeted by the staff like royalty. Of course they treated her like that! They all knew who her son was! Jay took pleasure in introducing her son to members of the club that approached her, asking about her well being and asking after her son. Everyone greeted Harry warmly and congratulated him on the wedding. They were shown to a table that had a great view of the gardens. As they were handed their menus, Harry's phone rang. Louis' face flashed up on the display. Harry looked at Jay as if asking permission if he could take the call. She smiled at him fondly.

'Go on then,' she told him. Harry quickly swiped his phone.

'Lou,' he breathed into the phone. Johanna smiled as she scanned the menu trying to give Harry some privacy. He sounded as if he had been drowning but Louis' voice had given him a breath!

'Hey sweetheart,' Louis replied and Harry realized how much he was missing him already. 'How's it going love?' Harry smiled feeling content that this man would soon be his husband.

'I'm at the golf club with your mum for lunch,' Harry said happily, winking at Johanna.

'Ah my mum took you to the club,' he commented. 'Meet any of the members yet?' Harry took a sip of his water.

'Mhm your mum introduced me to lots of people here and told them all about the wedding,' Harry told him. 'They sent their congratulations.' Louis was quiet for a bit.

'I miss you so much,' he whispered. Harry gripped his phone tighter.

'I miss you too,' he said quietly. 'I wish you were here.' Johanna gave him a sympathetic look.

'Just a few more days sweetheart and forever starts.'

'I can't wait,' Harry said grinning like an idiot. 'Can't wait to call you husband.' Johanna smiled fondly at him. Louis hummed.

'Can't wait for everything baby. Can't wait to slip that ring on your finger then later, when we are alone, slip inside you.' Harry felt a blush creep up from his neck to his cheeks.

'Lou,' he whispered. He could feel Louis words go straight to his groin making his neglected dick twitch in his pants. He had to admit that he was sex deprived too and couldn't wait for their wedding night. 'Do you um do you want to ugh talk to your mum?' Harry asked him not wanting to talk about sex with Louis while his mother in law sat across from him. He couldn't afford to get hard right now!

'Am I getting you horny?' Louis asked chuckling. Harry felt his cheeks heat up.

'Shut.Up,' he said, smiling and biting his lower lip. 'I'll put your mum on.' Harry passed her the phone.

'He wants to talk to you,' he told her. Jay took the phone from him.

'Hello my darling,' she said and Harry was thankful for the distraction, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. 'Of course I'm taking good care of him!' Harry heard Johanna say and he smiled to himself. Typical Louis would ask that! He let his mind drift a little bit to what was coming in the next few days....the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon,the wedding night! Butterflies assaulted his stomach. He was pulled out of his daydreams when Johanna passed him back his phone. Harry smiled and took it.

'Hey,' he said into the phone.

'What time are you leaving to yours?' Louis asked him. Harry looked at his watch. It was a little after one in the afternoon.

'I will probably leave around three in the afternoon. It's an hour's drive and I want to avoid rush hour if I want to make it home before evening.'

'Alright. A driver will be there to pick you up and drive you home alright. Text me when you get there. Have fun with my mum.' Harry chuckled.

'Will do. I love you Lou.' He heard Louis sigh.

'I love you too baby,' he said. 'See you Saturday.'

'See you Saturday,' Harry replied and hung up.Johanna was beaming at him from across the table.

'You two are so adorable,' she told him fondly. Harry blushed a little and bit his lower lip. 'Shall we order?' Johanna asked him happily.

X

Harry arrived home to find his father waiting for him on the doorstep. As soon as the car stopped, Harry was out and hurrying to meet his father who was making his way down the front lawn to meet his son. Harry fell into his arms and Des hugged him tightly.

'Welcome home son,' he told him affectionately. Harry hugged him tighter.

'It's good to be home dad,' he said as they pulled apart from the embrace. The driver had taken out Harry's bag. Harry thanked him and he and his dad walked into the house.

'Tea?' Des asked him as Harry followed him into the kitchen.

'Please,' Harry replied, taking a chair from under the table and plopping himself down. Des filled the kettle. 'Where's Marge?' Harry asked him looking around the spotless kitchen. Des put the kettle on and turned to face Harry.

'Well I told her I needed this week to be with my son only. You took a few days away from Louis to be with me and I am doing the same. These few days are just for us.' Harry beamed at him.

'Thank you dad. I really need this week with you. We have been apart for so long and I want to reacquaint myself with my father before I get married,' Harry told him. Des smiled at him.

'I would like nothing better than to get to know the man you have become.' The kettle whistled and Des turned it off, pouring the hot water into two mugs. When the tea was done, he sat opposite Harry,handing him a mug of hot tea.

'So everything ready for the big day?' Des asked him and Harry smiled, that smile that comes from genuine happiness.

'Yes. Margo, the wedding planner will be down tomorrow to oversee that everything will run smoothly. Louis'assistant has booked all the guests flying in for our wedding into a hotel. Leonard has taken care of everything and will be down on Friday morning with Louis. He will be at the hotel to greet the guests there and see them checked in. Louis' siblings will be down on Wednesday and are staying at the house with Johanna. We leave here Saturday morning. We have a suite at the hotel. You and Marge have a suite too. Marc should be at the hotel to dress me after he sees to Louis. Lottie and Fizzy will be here in my suite with Marc. They are my bridesmaids. They will walk before us dad. Doris is the ring bearer. She will walk before them to stand next to Louis. Two cars will pick up Marge and her kids before us so they will be at the house seated with the other guests. Then a limo should pick us up a quarter to six. Wedding is at six. We wanted it that time so by the time we are married and the party starts it will be sunset. The garden looks amazing at sunset.' Des smiled at him.

'Looks like you thought of everything. Can't believe you are getting married.' Harry reached out and squeezed his dad's hand.

'Neither can I. Neither can Louis come to think of it.' Harry chuckled then looked past his dad to the kitchen window that overlooked the garden. The sun was reflecting orange light that made the garden look warm and comforting. Harry's mind drifted. 'He never wanted to get married you know. He told me so. In the beginning when realized he wanted to date me, he told me right away that he would never marry me, that he was not the marrying kind. But now.' Harry paused and tore his eyes away from the garden and focused on his dad. He took a deep breath, released it and continued :

'When he proposed to me I could not believe that it was true. He stressed to me so many times that he didn't believe in marriage yet he proposed to me and he helped organize our wedding. He was so involved with everything. He took time off work to help with the planning and that's saying a lot because Louis hardly ever misses work.'

'He loves you so much. You can just feel the love he has for you,' Des commented. Harry smiled.

'He does. He really does.' Harry paused then looked at his dad again. 'Dad there's just one thing I want to tell you so you won't be disappointed later. Louis and I, we um don't plan on having kids. We agreed on that so we don't want to disappoint you in regards of grandchildren because there won't be any. We....I just don't want you to get your hopes up that's all.' Des looked at his son thoughtfully.

'You know.' he said slowly, taking a sip of his tea, 'ever since you were little you were always fond of children. How come you decided not to have any Harry?' Harry fidgeted with his fingers. He didn't want to lie to his father but he didn't want to tell him the truth either. He shrugged.

'We just want to be together you know just us. Louis is a very busy man with his business and travels a lot. I want to pursue my career. I want to start writing my first novel as soon as I can and maybe get established a photographer so its not like we will have time to raise kids and...and....'

'Harry,' his father said as he placed his hand over his, silencing him. 'Its alright if Louis doesn't want kids and you agreed to it but please don't feed me lies. I may have been out of your life for the past few years but I raised you for sixteen years. I know you. I know how much you love kids. Son, its alright. Marriage is a compromise and if you agreed on it together than that's your decision alone.' Harry looked down feeling as if he was disappointing his father.

'He's had a tough childhood dad. Very tough and he can't....he doesn't like kids very much.' Harry raised his head and met his father's eyes.'And I'm okay with it dad. I swear. There is no doubt in my mind or resentment in my heart. I get to have him for the rest of my life and I'm content. He's all I want and if agreeing to have no kids gets me to keep him for the rest of my life, then that's a small price I'm willing to pay.'

'Son I'm not judging you or your decisions. All I want is your happiness and if you're happy marrying Louis and living the rest of your life just you two then I'm happy for you but make sure that later on in life you will not actually resent him for depriving you of being a father.'

'I won't,' Harry said softly. 'I love him too much to ever do that. And its not like he deceived me and I'm going into this blind. He told me right away how he feels about kids and I accepted.' Des smiled at him.

'Then that's good Harry. I couldn't be happier for you. Now, what would you like for dinner? Shall I cook or would you rather we go down to the pub, have a few pints and have dinner there while I tell everyone who would listen that my son is getting married in a few days?'

 

x

 

The pub was crowded and Des took great pleasure in reintroducing his son to the people of the town that were in the pub that evening. He bought rounds of drinks as he took great pleasure in telling everyone that that coming Saturday his son was getting married! Everyone congratulated Harry and bought him too many drinks. By the time he had had dinner he was very tipsy and the music was too loud and he was too hot in the stuffy pub. He excused himself and trudged outside. He was pleased by the cool night air that hit his sweaty clammy skin. He rested his back against the wall and closed his eyes which was not a good idea as he felt himself tip to the side. He quickly opened them again and fished out his mobile from his jeans pocket. It was a little after ten in the evening. He dialed Louis'number knowing well enough that Louis would still be awake.

'Harry,'Louis breathed into the phone. Harry smiled dumbly.

'Baby,' he slurred.

'You're drunk,' Louis said immediately. 'Harry where are you and why are you drunk?' Louis said a little sternly. Harry giggled.

'I'm with my dad down the pub. They gave me too many drinks....'

'Harry listen,' Louis said but Harry giggled again.

'My dad's friends....they are so happy for us Lou...I AM happy for us...the whole world is happy for us even though its tipping to the side...whoopsie.'

'Harry baby I need you to go back inside and tell your dad to take you home. I need you in bed and drink lots of water.' Harry giggled again. 'Harry are you listening to me?'

'Will you just relax? I'm fine. I'm having fun with my dad and his friends. Relax Louis.' Louis huffed.

'You know I don't relax when you're away from me and drunk!' Louis snapped at him.

'Are you mad at me?' Harry asked him and Louis could detect sadness in his voice. He didn't want to make him sad. 'I...called you because I miss you so much Louis and I wanted to say goodnight but you are mad at me. I know that voice.' Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'I'm not mad at you sweetheart. I'm just worried.'

'I'm not that drunk Louis. I'm just tipsy. I'm relaxed and happy. Very very happy,' Harry slurred into the phone smiling like a goofy idiot. Louis just had to smile.

'I'm glad you're happy. I intend on making you happier,' Louis told him, deciding to enjoy the chat with his boyfriend rather than argue with him.

'Impossible,' Harry said.

'Are you doubting my ability in making you happier?' Louis asked him in a playful tone. He heard Harry giggle.

'I'm at my happiest Lou. You are marrying me. What more could I want other than your love for the rest of my days?' Louis' heart fluttered in his chest.

'I will find ways to make you happier Harry you can count on it,' Louis promised him. 'You deserve everything this life has to offer and I will give it to you,' Louis promised him.

'I already have everything I could ever want or need. I have you and that's everything Louis. You are my everything. My happy ever after. My forever. You're it for me! There's nothing more I want or need. Just you.' Louis gripped the phone tighter in his hand because his love for his boy was too strong, too powerful.

'I love you Harry, ' Louis murmured.

'And I love you Louis, ' Harry murmured back. Louis heard noises in the background, laughter and someone calling Harry's name. He heard Harry laugh and reply to something he couldn't quite make out. Then Harry was back.

'Lou I have to go. They are calling me in for another round.'

'Alright but Harry please make it the last one and go home to sleep. I don't like the idea of you getting wasted when I'm not there.' Harry made an awe sound.

'Honey I'm with my dad. It's fine but I promise this will be the last drink. My stomach is protesting. Been drinking too much lately and I need to detox my body.' Louis just had to chuckle because only his baby would be concerned with all the shit he was putting into his body.

'That's a good idea baby. Now go have your last drink then bed yeah.'

'Alright. I'll call you tomorrow. I miss you Lou I really do.'

'I miss you too sweetheart. Sleep well.'

X

Next morning Harry woke up to bright sunlight filtering through his curtains. He groaned as he felt a throbbing pain in his head. He turned on his side, feeling last nights alcohol slosh inside him and he gagged a little and vowed that he wouldn't drink again as long as he lived. He reached for his phone and swiped it. Ten in the morning. Five missed calls from Louis. A dozen text messages. Harry groaned and sat up gingerly, closing his eyes when a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over him. He waited until it passed then grabbed his phone and padded unsteadily out of his room in just his boxers and t-shirt. He made his way downstairs and straight into the kitchen. His dad was reading the paper but he put it down when Harry stumbled in.

'There's the man of the hour. How are you feeling?' Des asked him cheerfully. Harry groaned and flopped down in a chair.

'Like shit,' he said. Des laughed. He got up, poured him a glass of water and handed him two painkillers.

'Here take these and I'll make you breakfast. And while I make you breakfast please do call Louis. He called me twice already asking after you.' Harry nodded as he swallowed the pills then quickly texted Louis telling him that he was fine but severely hung over and that he will call him when he was feeling slightly human. His father placed a plate of toasted crumpets and scrambled eggs in front of him and a steaming mug of tea. Harry looked at the food with a scowl on his face.

'Eat. It will absorb the alcohol in your system. What do you want to do today?' Harry took a bite out of his crumpet.

'I want to go visit mum,'Harry said as he chewed his food. 'I need to go to the florist before as I have a wedding bouquet ordered. Had it done in the same flowers we are having for our wedding. I...I kinda want her to be a part of it even though she's not here.' Des looked at his son who sat there hungover chewing on a crumpet, days away from his wedding day, at the little boy he had raised with so much love and the teenager he had kicked out and lost contact with for four years. His heart ached for everything, mostly for the loss of his beautiful wife that will not be here to witness the marriage of their only son. A lump closed around his throat.

'Yes we will go and visit your mother. Finish up your breakfast and as soon as you're changed we will go.'

X

They walked towards the graveyard side by side in silence. Harry clutched the most beautiful wedding bouquet in his hands. It was made up of white baby roses and sunflowers. The stalks had been wrapped in ivory satin with a tag that said "Louis and Harry 28th June 2019"and two imitation wedding bands threaded through the satin. Harry's heart was beating fast and loud in his ears. He was feeling too much.

He stood on his mother's grave looking at her smiling face peering up at him from the headstone.

'Mum,'he whispered in a broken voice. Des squeezed his shoulder wanting to give his son comfort and support. Harry noticed that his mother still had fresh white roses on her grave. Louis still sent his mother flowers! Harry took in a deep shuddering breath.

'Mum,I-I really wish you were here with me right now. I am getting married and God knows I need my mother and it kills me to know that you won't be with me on this special day but I will have you in my heart mum as I walk down the aisle to marry the love of my life.' Harry swallowed thickly, unable to stop his heart breaking in his chest. Tears rolled softly down his cheeks.

'I love you mum,' he whispered. 'and I miss you so much. The more time goes by the more I miss you and need you but dad and I.' Harry paused and looked at his dad who was silently crying beside him too. Harry reached down and took his hand.

'Mum, dad and I are alright. We are fixing what was broken. I understand now what happened and why he did what he did and I forgave him. He will walk me down the aisle mum and give me to Louis. Dad loves Louis too so we are good. We...we are joining our families, extending it and even though you are not here with us physically you will always be a part of our family. You will be with us mum because we will carry you within our hearts.' Harry stopped and took in a gulping breath trying to calm down his tears and racing heart. Des squeezed his hand.

'Annie,' he whispered, 'Annie I wish you could see him. I am so proud of our son and I am sorry if I disappointed you by my actions towards him. I was wrong but I was angry. I was so so angry that I lost you Annie and I blamed him. Maybe if he had never been conceived you would....maybe you wouldn't have but I was wrong. You gave me a miracle. You gave me this wonderful son and I will never forget you. He looks so much like you, not just in looks but in his spirit too. God I miss you Annie.' Des choked back another sob and this time it was Harry who squeezed his hand. Des wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

'He is marrying a good man Annie. He loves him and takes good care of our baby boy. I promise you I will take care of him too. I swear to you that I will always look after our son and I know now that he was blessing to us. I understand now that when he was given to us it was for me to have a part of you when it was time for you to leave us. Thank you Annie for giving me this beautiful boy and I am so so sorry I hurt him and mistreated him. I hope you can forgive me. I will spend the remainder of my time making it up to him. I promise you Annie.' Des sobbed softly beside Harry. Harry let go of his hand and knelt down on his mother's grave. He placed the bouquet on the grass that covered his mother's grave.

'Mum I brought you this as part of our wedding. Its a bouquet of flowers we are having at our wedding and a replica of our wedding rings. Bless me mum. Bless Louis and bless our union. I will continue to make you proud. I love you mum so very much.' They stayed silent on her grave for a while, both of them crying softly missing the person that had made their family whole. Harry got up from the grave, his knees creaking in protest. He looked at his father who looked miserable and pulled him into a tight hug.

'We'll be alright dad,' Harry whispered. Des hugged him tighter. 'She is with us. She will be with us Saturday. I am sure she's happy and would want us to be happy.' Des hiccuped against Harry.

'God I miss her Harry. She was the love of my life and she left me. I can never ever love another like her. No one will ever replace your mother.'

'I know dad. I know. Come on let's go.' They pulled apart and looked one more time at the grave.

'Bye mum,' Harry whispered. 'Forever in my heart.'

'Bye my love,' Des choked out.

 

X

 

Harry and his dad spent the rest few days bonding. They went fishing in the river, they went for long walks, cooked together, sat out in the back garden at sunset knocking back a few beers while Des cooked on the barbeque. The weather was nice and warm and Harry enjoyed every minute with his dad. They had become closer and Harry couldn't be happier. Harry talked to Louis on the phone and they text each other throughout the whole week.

Friday dawned to be another beautiful warm summer day and Harry woke up early, went downstairs and began breakfast. He was very nervous and excited at the same time. Louis called him a little after eight in the morning just as Harry and his dad sat down to eat.

'Hey love,' Louis said into the phone. 'Just called to let you know I'm on the way to the airport. Will be at my mum's soon. How are you?'

'Very nervous and excited,' Harry said as he took a sip of his tea. Louis chuckled.

'Me too. I'm like a bundle of jittery nerves.'

'You're only marrying me silly,' Harry said softly. Louis chuckled again.

'And you're only marrying me but still, I mean its normal to be nervous for your wedding right?'

'Right,' Harry agreed. 'You're not having second thoughts are you?' Louis made a sound that sounded like a grunt.

'Why would I be having second thoughts Harry?' Harry shrugged even though Louis couldn't see him.

'I don't know.' he said quietly. Louis paused and for a minute it was silent.

'Are you having second thoughts?' Louis asked him.

'Never,' Harry replied. 'We are just both having pre-wedding melt downs. Deep breaths. We'll be fine. Just nerves.'

'Yeah yeah,' Louis agreed with him. 'Can't wait for tomorrow.'

'Same,' Harry said. He heard a voice talking to Louis but he didn't catch what they said.

'Sweetheart, I have to go. The plane is ready for take off. I'll talk to you later yeah?'

'Alright. Have a safe flight. See you tomorrow.'

'See you tomorrow. I love you. So much.'

'I love you too,' Harry told him. Louis hung up and walked towards the door that led onto the tarmac towards his waiting jet. He was leaving London as a single man and when he returned he would be a married man!

 

X

 

The flight was short and soon he was being driven through the gates of his mother's estate and up the sprawling driveway towards the house. Louis could see people bustling about doing last minute preparations for their wedding. The car stopped and Hugh was waiting for him.

'Good morning Mr. Tomlinson,' he greeted him as the driver unloaded his and Harry's suitcases. Louis smiled at Hugh.

'Good morning Hugh. How's everything going?' Hugh gave him a smile.

'Busy but good.'

'Mr. Tomlinson!' Louis turned to see who was calling his name and he saw a well dressed woman coming towards him with a clip board in her hand and the other outstretched towards him. She gave him a warm smile. 'Finally we meet. I am Margo, the wedding planner.' Recognition passed over Louis's face. He took her hand and shook it.

'Oh yes hello. My fiance' mentioned you. Pleased to meet you.' Margo beamed up at him.

'Let me just tell you that everything is fine and on schedule. We have no problems or hold ups so you just relax and leave everything to me. I might need you to sign papers for me when the deliveries start to arrive and oh I will need you to greet the guests tomorrow when they start to arrive.' Louis nodded at her.

'Anything I need to sign just bring it to me and rest assured I will follow all your orders because I want our day to be perfect tomorrow.' Margo squeezed his arm.

'It will be.' Louis walked inside and was greeted by his siblings who hugged him and kissed him. They were a rowdy bunch all talking over each other, asking a million question. They were so excited and their excitement calmed his nerves a little bit. He let them drag him into the living room where their mother awaited. When Louis saw her, he went straight to her and hugged her tightly. Johanna smiled into his hug.

'My boy. My beautiful boy getting married tomorrow. I am so proud of you my darling.' Louis pulled back and placed a kiss on his mother's forehead.

'How are you mum?' he asked her tenderly as he sat down opposite her and his siblings all crowded around them. Johanna smiled at him warmly.

'Excited,' she said with a smile on her face. 'Happy. Very very happy,' she told him as she looked at the equally excited faces around her. 'How are you?' Louis sighed, a soft smile on his face.

'Excited. Nervous. Very very happy,' he admitted and his siblings and mother all laughed and hugged him.

'You will be married soon,' Lottie told him.

'To the love of your life,' Fizzy added. 'How many of us can say that?'Louis beamed at her.

'True. I am one lucky man.' Ernest clapped him on the back.

'You are,' he told him proudly. Louis looked at them.

'So what has Harry instructed you to do?' he asked them sheepishly. Johanna laughed.

'He is nothing short of a perfectionist.'

'That he is,' Louis said fondly.

'Well,' Lottie said, 'Fizzy and myself have to be at the hotel in the bridal suite in the morning to meet Harry. Marc will be coming later throughout the day to fit us. You will have Daisy and Phoebe who will walk with you down the aisle. Doris will walk first though since she is the ring bearer and wait with you and Ernest since he is your best man. Harry will arrive with his father and us and Liam since he is his best man. Everything is organized so it all should go according to plan.'

'Margo has been doing an excellent job with the decorations. You and Harry have decided well,' Fizzy told him. 'Have you seen the garden yet?' Daisy asked him. Louis shook his head.

'Oh. My. God,' piped up Phoebe, 'it looks like a scene right out of a fairy tale. You have to come see it,' she said as she jumped up off the couch, her siblings following suit. Doris took Louis' hand and tugged until he got up and had no other choice but to follow them.

The garden took away Louis' breath. It indeed looked like a scene out of a fairy tale. There were chairs on either side of the aisle which where all draped in white with baby roses decorating them. At the end of the aisle was an arch made up of white baby roses and sunflowers. Under that arch they were to be married tomorrow. He could see that the arch and trees were all draped in fairy lights although they were unnoticed due to the shining sun. Further down in the garden, there was a huge white tent erected where dinner and dancing would take place after the wedding ceremony.

'Wow,' Louis breathed as he took in the sight before him.

'Wow indeed,' Lottie said. 'Its going to be magical.'

 

X

 

Saturday dawned to be a beautiful summer's day. Louis rolled out of bed when it was still dark outside. He had trouble sleeping because of his excitement. He walked downstairs quietly. It was a little after five in the morning and the house was quiet and still. He padded through the darkened rooms that were all decorated and ready to receive their guests for their wedding. He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. As he pulled a mug down from the cupboard, his phone vibrated on the counter top. He swiped it and read the message.

 

[From Harry]

I'm up. Can't sleep so I gave up on trying. I am so excited Lou and I can't wait to see you.

Louis smiled to himself as he hit reply.

[From Louis]

I gave up on sleep too.Today is the big day. Are you sure you're not getting cold feet?

He send the message and poured the hot water into his mug, stirring the coffee. His phone vibrated.

[From Harry]

Very warm happy feet here. No intention of bolting. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I can't wait to start. Are you getting cold feet?

Louis chuckled as he picked up his mug and phone and padded into the living room. He flopped down onto the couch and placed the mug on the coffee table.

[FromLouis]

Toasty feet here. As if I could ever live my life without you. I am marrying the love of my life tonight so make sure you are on time.

He took a sip of his coffee and the phone vibrated in his hand.

[From Harry]

I will be perfectly on time. I can't wait to say I do to you Louis. I'm so anxious.

[From Louis]

Sweetheart take one of your herbal teas and relax. Its just you and me. Us. Our wedding. Let's both be calm yeah.

Harry's message came in right away.

[From Harry]

Lay off the coffee! And don't roll your eyes at me which I know you are doing.

Louis laughed out a little too loudly and clapped a hand on his mouth to shut off his laughing.

[From Louis]

How do you know me so well?

[From Harry]

I do! And its not a joke ;)

Louis laughed at Harry's pun. He was such a dork.

[From Louis]

You and your I do! See you later tonight my darling.

[From Harry]

Looking forward to it! :) <3 xxx

 

X

 

Harry and his father arrived at the Frenchgate Hotel a little after eleven in the morning. They were given their keys to the wedding suite and they got settled in without delay. The room was beautifully and elegantly furnished with exquisite furniture and velvet drapes, thick carpets, an antique four poster bed and a lavish bathroom. Des ordered room service after he had convinced Harry that he really needed to eat something since he had already skipped breakfast and that it was not good to go without food on such an important day. Harry had finally agreed on the condition that he could only manage a small salad and a sparkling water with a dash of lemon. After their lunch was delivered and Harry had managed to down a few leaves of kale and lettuce, he told Des that he was going to take a hot bath to help him calm down. Harry couldn't even look at his phone as his father had kept it from him, refraining him from texting Louis, who according to Johanna was a walking bundle of nerves. Des smiled to himself and remembered his own wedding day. Yes he had been nervous too. And scared. It was all natural!

A few hours later, Lottie, Felicite and Marc arrived along with a rack of clothes and Lottie's make up bag. Harry began to relax a little when they arrived and Lottie began working on his hair. He asked them endless questions about Louis but nobody told him anything besides the fact that yes Louis was just as nervous as he was. While Lottie did his hair, Marc dressed Des. When Des finally emerged from the bedroom, he looked elegant in a traditional black tuxedo. Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

'Dad,'he whispered. Des smiled broadly at him.

'How do I look?' he asked. Harry gave him a dimpled smile.

'Sophisticated and elegant and my dad! Thank you Marc,' he said. Marc shrugged.

'You ain't seen nothing yet. I have only just begun working my magic. Lottie. Felicitie you are next. Come on chop chop. We have a wedding to go to.' Lottie and Felicitie followed Marc into the bedroom all excited. Harry bounced his knee up and down as he waited and it seemed like forever until the door opened and Lottie and Fizzy walked out wearing a fitted floor length golden lace dress with a blue sash at the waist. Harry's breath hitched in his throat as they paraded out before them, hair up with a flower crown in their hair and bouquets of baby roses in their hands.

'Wow oh my God,' Harry whispered. 'You look so beautiful. Marc they are beautiful. Wow,' he said. Marc smiled happily.

'I am glad you like them Harry. I told you that I would out do myself for your wedding and I think I have. Now come on, your turn. Time to dress the groom.' Harry nodded and followed Marc into the bedroom.

'Ready?' Marc asked him with a fond smile. Harry took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'Yes. I am.'

'Right. Undress for me then,' Marc told him then stopped and looked at Harry. 'Don't ever tell Louis I told you that. The asshole will have my head.' Harry laughed loudly as he commenced to remove his sweatpants and t-shirt. Marc began dressing him, careful not to muss up his curls. When he was done, Marc stepped back and looked at him, his eyes going from his hair, to his suit all the way down to his shoes.

'Well?'Harry asked him impatiently. 'How do I look?' Marc gave him a big smile.

'You look perfect. Gorgeous. So handsome. Louis is going to...he's going to...Oh my God Harry,' Marc said in a choked up voice as his eyes filled with tears. Harry's eyes went wide with panic.

'He's going to what Marc? Run away from me screaming? Marc please you're worrying me,' Harry said. Marc moved towards him.

'Honey honey no calm down,' he was quick to reassure him. 'He is definitely not going to run away from you honey. If anything he's going to run towards you and elope your own wedding and take you away to be alone with you because honey you look gorgeous. Sorry sorry I'm rambling but I feel like a mother hen right now fussing over my grown up baby chick on his wedding day. Sweetheart you look like a Prince straight out from a fairy tale. Oh my God I'm getting so emotional. My boys are getting married. You look so handsome!' Marc said as his throat constricted and closed from the emotional lump lodged in his throat. Harry let out a breath, his shoulders sagging slightly.

'Thank God. You had me worried there for a moment.' Marc took his arm.

'Come look at yourself,' Marc urged him as he led him to the full length mirror. When Harry saw himself in the mirror, he took in a deep shaky breath. He was wearing a royal blue Korean frock coat with gold baroque floral embroidered on the lapels combined with an ivory satin Beethoven ruffled shirt with gold floral embroidered matching cummerbund and an ivory satin foulard with a gold cameo brooch with a pearl stone and crystal rhinestones and golden cufflinks with rhinestones. He had royal blue satin trousers with straight leg, embroidered with golden floral embroidery and ended in black shiny shoes.

'Oh wow,' he said to his reflection. He really did look like a Prince!' Marc you really outdid yourself!' Harry's eyes raked his wedding suit. Marc had matched everything! Lottie and Fizzy's dresses where gold with a royal blue sash so Harry wondered if Louis matched them too which was highly likely. He couldn't wait to see him now more than ever. 'Thank you Marc,' Harry said softly. 'Everything is so perfect and beautiful.'

'Wait till you see Louis!' Marc told him excitedley. Harry met Marc's eyes in the mirror.

'I can't wait to see him,' Harry whispered, his voice full of longing. Marc smiled broadly at him and looked at his watch.

'And you will see him in exactly thirty minutes sweet Walnut. I have to get going now. My job here is done. I need to be sitting with my Edward when you walk down that aisle towards your beautiful man. A limo should be here to pick you guys up in exactly fifteen minutes so I will be off. Now, take a deep breath, exhale slowly, have a drink with your dad and the girls. I will see you in a bit.' Marc kissed both his cheeks and hurried out of the room. Harry looked at himself in the mirror one more time.

'Okay calm down. It's just Louis. It's just Louis. Come on you can do this. Stay calm and go marry the love of your life.' He nodded at himself, took a few deep breaths, turned and walked out of the bedroom into the sitting room. As soon as he walked in, there was a collective gasp from his dad, Lottie and Fizzy.

'Oh my God Harry!' Lottie exclaimed. You're gorgeous!' Fizzy giggled.

'Louis is going to flip when he sees you Harry, you're so beautiful.' Harry felt his cheeks heat up.

'Thank you,' he said shyly then looked at his dad as if silently asking for his approval. Des walked over to him.

'You look amazing son,' Des told him his voice full of emotions. They looked at each other unable to look away until the room phone rang and broke their gazes apart. Lottie answered the phone and it was a short conversation.

'Showtime,' she said. 'That was the reception. Our limo is here. Time for us to go Harry unless you want to be late for your own wedding and give my brother a heart attack.' Harry looked at her with wide shocked eyes.

'God no!' he said a little horrified. 'I don't want to be late not at all. Let's go!' Together they walked out of the suite and into the wedding limo that was waiting for them downstairs. A crowd of people stopped to watch the wedding party and offered their congratulations to the groom. The evening was beautiful. The sky was a hue of orange and red, indicating sunset not so far away. They had planned to be married at sunset and the timing was just perfectly right. The limo pulled out into the street and began its short drive to Richmond Estate.

 

X

 

Louis waited beneath the flower arch at the end of the garden impatiently. The registrar that was going to preside over the ceremony, Mr. Blair Williams gave him a small smile, knowing perfectly well from his experiences how nervous a groom could be. Louis shifted from one foot to the other, his heart was beating so fast in his chest that he thought he would faint. All the guests had arrived and he had greeted them all and had welcomed them. Now they sat at their allocated seats, relaxed and eager for the ceremony to begin. Ernest was beside him whispering reassuring words to his brother to keep him calm. As his best man it was his job to make sure the groom was taken care of. In the first row sat his mother next to Marge and an empty chair reserved for Des.

On the other side of the arch where Harry would soon stand, Louis had arranged for a big framed portrait of Anne and it was now standing on a tripod, smiling and looking happy. Louis wanted to surprise Harry with this symbolic gesture of having his mother present at the wedding. Louis knew how much Harry loved his mother and how much she meant to him and he wanted her there for him.

Daisy and Phoebe stood beside him dressed in their golden floor length lace gowns with a blue sash that matched his suit. His suit was lovely. It was a slim fit royal blue suit, single breasted that accentuated his narrow waist. He had an ivory shirt, a gold embroidered vest, gold bow and a gold satin handkerchief in his breast pocket. In the lapel of his suit jacket, he had a single white baby rose. From the twins gold gowns and blue sash along with their bouquets of baby white roses and his blue, gold and ivory ensamble he gathered that those were the colors Harry would be wearing too. All that was missing was Harry. Where was he?

Louis' hands were sweating and he resisted the urge to wipe them down on his trousers. His heart was beating a steady staccato like a military tattoo. He looked out dreamily over the garden that was bathed in orange and red sunlight as the sun started to dip behind the trees indicating another perfect summer sunset. The fairy lights that draped the trees and the arch underneath which he stood all twinkled to life, making the garden look magical and romantic. There were floating lanterns in the trees and down the aisle which also came to life by the setting sun. The cool summer breeze ruffled the trees gently and a strong smell of roses and all the other flowers and blossoms in the garden.

Suddenly, "From This Moment" by Shania Twain began to play softly. Louis' heart began to gallop so hard that it hurt his chest as he diverted his gaze up the aisle. All the guests stood up and turned to look back up the aisle too.

Lottie and Fizzy came walking down the aisle slowly, side by side in their gold lace gowns, clutching bouquets in their hands, eyes on Louis, offering him a reassuring smile.

From this moment life has begun

From this moment you are the one

Right beside you is where I belong  
From this moment on

 

From this moment, I have been blessed  
I live only, for your happiness  
And for your love, I give my last breath  
From this moment on

And then Louis saw him and his heart soared and melted and the world around him ceased to exist, his eyes narrowing in on Harry as he walked down the aisle with his father looking like a prince in the suit Marc had decked him in. Marc knew what he had been doing when he had chosen this suit for Harry. He had dressed Harry as a prince on purpose because Harry was his prince. Harry had been his prince in shining armor since the first day they had met.

I give my hand to you with all my heart  
I can't wait to live my life with you I can't wait to start  
You and I will never be apart  
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment, as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing, I wouldn't give  
From this moment on

Harry was smiling at him softly as the rays of sun orange and red glittered on him as he walked closer and closer to him. Louis felt a lump form in his throat choking him with unspoken emotions because he loved his boy so much, so much more than he had ever thought it was possible to love another human being. This love was way too big to fit inside him. And then Harry was standing right in front of him, glimmering in the sunset and smiling at him as if he was an angel just sent down from heaven

You're the reason I believe in love  
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above  
All we need is just the two of us  
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment, as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing, I wouldn't give  
From this moment, I will love you  
As long as I live from this moment on

The registrar cleared his throat to get Louis' attention. Louis blinked and noticed Des holding out his hand to him. Louis took it and shook it and without knowing why he said "Thank you" to Des. Des chuckled because Louis was thanking him for handing over his only son to him! Des took his seat beside Marge.

'Hi,'Harry told him softly and Louis nearly fell to his knees because today everything about Harry was amplified. Had his voice gotten deeper and slower? Had his curls grown longer? Were his eyes greener? He felt Ernest nudge him.

'H-hi,'he stammered out not having quiet as yet taken in the beautiful sight before him yet nor believed that in a few short minutes this angel would be married to him. He saw Harry look at the portrait of his mother, his eyes dimming a little then turn back to Louis with a smile on his face.

'Thank you,' he whispered. Louis nodded because he couldn't trust his voice to speak yet. Liam, who was Harry's best man, stood beside Harry. Harry was smiling at him in a way that made Louis melt on the inside. He smiled back at him and together they turned to face the registrar that was going to wed them. The guests all sat down. The registrar looked out over at the guests.

'We are gathered here this lovely evening to celebrate one of life's greatest moments and to cherish and witness the words which shall unite Louis and Harry in marriage. Marriage is a promise between two people who love each other and who trust in that love, who honor each other as individuals and who choose to spend the rest of their lives together. On behalf of Louis and Harry, I welcome you and thank you all for gathering here on this beautiful summer evening to witness their marriage ceremony. The fact that you all have traveled such a great distance to be with Louis and Harry tonight on their special day, is a testament to the amazing amount of love and support they have. Many of you have given them much happiness, warmth and guidance through the various stages of their lives. They would like to sincerely thank you all for being here with them tonight to celebrate their big day. I have also been asked by Louis and Harry to thank their parents : Mrs Johanna Tomlinson, Mr. Desmond Styles and the late Mrs. Anne Styles for the wonderful lives they have given them, for the hard work and guidance they have provided the both of them, for their everlasting love, support and encouragement.' The registrar paused and looked at Harry and Louis who were standing before him.

'This ceremony will not create a relationship that does not already exist between you. It is a symbol of how far you have come these past two years. It is a symbol of the promise you will make to each other to continue growing stronger as individuals and as partners. No matter what challenges you face, you will now face them together and no matter how much you succeed, you will now succeed together. The love between you joins you now as one. Please turn to look at each other and take each other by the right hand.' Louis and Harry turned to face each other, smiles on their faces and they took each other's right hand. The registrar placed his hand on top of their joined ones.

'These are the hands of your best friend that hold yours on your wedding days you promise to love each other all the days for the rest of your lives. These are the hands that will work along side of yours as you build your future together and make your dreams reality. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you and care for you throughout the years. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness and trails. These are the hands that will hold you at your weakest, when fear or grief torments your mind and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will give you strength when you are weak and support you and encourage you to chase down your dreams. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children and help keep your family together as one. These are the hands that will countless times wipe away the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will share the joy and happiness of your life together. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and frail with old age, will still be there reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch, a touch from these hands!' Harry was trying hard not to cry though Louis could see that his eyes were full of tears. Louis smiled at him and squeezed his hand a little.

'Now,' the registrar continued, 'as you hold each other's hand in your own, I invite you to make your wedding vows to each other. Louis,' he said, indicating that Louis should go first. Louis swallowed thickly because he was very emotional and he doubted that his voice would be strong enough to complete his vows to Harry but he would try. Louis squeezed his hand again and gave him a smile. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly then looked Harry in the eyes.

'I,Louis Tomlinson promise you Harry Styles, my deepest love and my fullest devotion, my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I promise you that my love and my loyalty to you will weather the storms of life which might find their way into our lives. I promise that you are and will be my one true love, my sole partner for life. I promise to cherish our friendship and to love you today, tomorrow and forever. I promise to respect you and love you and be the best partner I can be to you now and in old age. I promise to be with you through the ups and downs, the joy and the tears, through all of our adventures this life will take us through and every moment in between. I promise to standby your side through difficult times and face them together with you because we are stronger together than we are as individuals. I promise to laugh with you and cry with you. I promise to love you faithfully, honestly and unconditionally through the best and worst times of our lives, through the difficult and the easy. I promise you that I will strive to stay in the present and in the moment. I promise you forgiveness, fidelity and loyalty. I promise to commit to you and support you. I promise to respect your unique talents and abilities and I promise to lend you strength for all your dreams to be realized. I promise you that I will always listen to you and to accept your feelings even when I don't understand them. I promise you that I will always be there for you, to care for you, protect you, shelter you, help you and treasure you. Loving you has made me a better person. It has made me wiser, easier and brighter and I want that for the rest of our lives. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms shall be your home and as I have given you my hand to hold, I now surrender my heart to you and I give you my life to keep. From today until forever, I promise you I am yours.' By the time Louis ended his vows,Harry was silently crying. Liam handed him a tissue and he quickly wiped his eyes. He took in a deep shaky breath hoping he won't burst into sobbing tears in the middle of his vows. The registrar looked at Harry, indicating that it was his turn.

'I Harry Styles, promise you Louis Tomlinson that today I give myself to you wholly without reserve. I promise to encourage you and inspire you. I promise to laugh with you and comfort you in times of sorrow and in times of struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad times, when life is easy and when life gets hard, when our love is simple and when it is a trying effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in the highest regards.' Harry paused and choked back a sob. Louis squeezed his hand.

'Its alright love,' he told him softly. Harry nodded and continued :

'I promise you today that I take you with all your faults and all your strengths as I offer myself to you with all my faults and my strengths. Before these witnesses, I promise to share my life openly with you, to always always speak the truth to you in love. I promise that I will show up everyday of our married life and I will try even if it gets unbearably hard. I promise to honor you and care for you,to cherish you and encourage your own fullfillment as an individual through all the changes of our lives. I promise to honor your decisions without questioning you because I know you will keep my best interests in your heart and I trust you to do so for me and our relationship. I promise you that I will always keep my faith in you .Always. I promise to continue loving you just as much as I love you now. I promise to love you simply, without problems or pride. I promise to help you hold on when you feel like you want to let go and I promise I will hold you together should your world fall apart. I promise to love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving you but this, in which there is no I or you but just us. I promise to love you so intimately that your hand resting upon my chest is my hand and so intimately that when I fall asleep, your eyes fall close. I choose you today as the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life with and grow old with. These things I promise you today Louis and I promise them for all the days of the rest of our lives.' Harry took in a gulping breath and a soft sob escaped his lips but Louis was beaming at him, smiling so big that his eyes where just slits just how Harry liked them.

'Do you need a moment?' the registrar asked them.

'No carry on,' they both said together and there were giggles and chuckles from the guests.

'Alright then. The rings please.' Doris came forward as shy as ever and stood back a little in between Louis and Harry.

'Louis please take the ring and hold Harry's left hand,' the registrar told him and Louis was quick to take the wedding band off the cushion that Doris was holding. When the ring was in his hand, the registrar continued :

'Do you Louis William Tomlinson, take this man Harry Edward Styles to be your wedded husband from this day so as long as you both shall live?' Louis licked his lips and looked at Harry giving him a wink. He knew how much Harry had been dying to hear the next two words.

'I do,' he said. Harry gulped and swallowed trying to hold back the tears. His hands were shaking so bad but Louis held his hand tightly and as he slipped the ring on the fourth finger of his left hand, he gave Harry another wink.

'Please repeat after me,' the registrar said. 'Harry with this ring I thee wed and bind myself to you today and for the remainder of my days, for the better parts of life and the worst, for the good and the bad, for when you are healthy and when you are sick. I bind myself to you until the day I cease to live this life that I have been blessed with.' Louis swallowed and looked at Harry.

'Harry with this ring I thee wed and bind myself to you today and for the remainder of my days, for the better parts of life and the worst, for the good and the bad, for when you are healthy and when you are sick. I bind myself to you until the day I cease to live this life that I have been blessed with.' Harry let out another choked sob as another few tears left his eyes. Louis raised his hand and gently wiped them away. The registrar looked at Harry.

'Harry please take the ring and hold Louis' left hand.' Harry took the ring with trembling fingers then held Louis' hand. 'Do you Harry Edward Styles, take this man Louis William Tomlinson to be your wedded husband from this day so as long as you both shall live?' Harry's teary eyes were fixed on Louis.

'I do. I do damn yes I do,' he let out breathlessly and the guests giggled and Louis smiled at him, that smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. The registrar chuckled.

'As you slip the ring on Louis' finger, please repeat these words,' the registrar told him and Harry slipped the ring on Louis's finger and said :

'Louis with this ring I thee wed and bind myself to you today and for the remainder of my days, for the better parts of life and the worst, for the good and the bad, for when you are healthy and when you are sick.I bind myself to you until the day I cease to live this life that I have been blessed with.' Harry smiled when the ring was nestled on Louis' finger.

'I now pronounce you husbands for life. You may seal your marriage vows with a kiss,' the registrar told them and Louis was already moving towards Harry, cupping his face in both his hands and leaned in,capturing his husband's lips in a soft, tender loving kiss. Their first kiss as husbands. And as they kissed they heard the registrar say :

'Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr and Mr Tomlinson.' Louis and Harry could hear everyone standing up and clapping and cheering. Harry and Louis smiled into the kiss, holding each other close and when they pulled back, Louis lifted Harry's left hand and kissed his wedding ring.

'Forever,' he told him, placing another kiss on his lips. Harry smiled big and bright.

'Forever,' he promised back.

When they had signed the register and were given their marriage certificate, they headed towards the part of the garden where the tables and dance floor had been laid out. All their guest and family members hugged them and congratulated them. They were served champagne and everyone was seated at their allocated tables while Louis and Harry sat at a table with their parents and siblings. Food and drinks were being served as a band began to play soft music.Everyone ate and drank and chatted then when it was time to serve coffee and dessert, it was time for the speeches. Liam stood up firstand looked at Louis and Harry.

'I have known Harry basically all of my life. I remember him starting kindergarten and I was a year above him as was Niall. Harry was not one for crying on his first day at kinder, in fact he was this tiny three year old trying to cheer up the ones that were crying. We became friends when one kid who was older than him tried to bully him but Harry offered him a cookie instead with a big dimpled smile on his face. Niall and myself decided to take care of Harry and we have remained friends since then and we always always took care of Harry. When it came to Louis, we knew nothing about him except that Harry was madly in love with him. It took very little for Harry to be swept off his feet by Louis and to be honest, we were very protective of him because we knew Harry for a long time and we knew how soft his heart was and how much he gives of himself and how romantic he is and we didn't want him to be hurt and broken. But myself, Niall and Zayn decided to give this Louis Tomlinson a chance and trust our boy to be led by his heart and hope that his heart would be taken care of and here we are today at their wedding.' Liam raised his glass towards Louis and Harry and everyone followed suit.

'You two have taught me that you don't marry the person you can live with. You taught me that you marry the person that you can't live without which is exactly what you both have done so congratulations and may you be happy and strong together.' Everyone said congratulations and drank their champagne. Ernest stood up next, beaming at everyone in the room.

'I am Ernest Tomlinson, brother to Louis. Up to a few months ago, I did not know I had a brother or a handful of sisters or even a mother. See, Doris, the ring bearer tonight and myself were adopted at birth due to circumstances my mother and brother found themselves in. But Louis worked hard and brought our family back together. Not just that but he extended it by bringing into our fold the Styles family. We are now a very big family and I am so happy to be a part of it. When I met my brother for the very first time, I was shocked. He is a well known figure but I didn't know him. Some might think he's an obnoxious, rude asshole who is stubborn. I don't know about those things because I have never seen those traits in my brother and I haven't known him long enough to see them but us being here today, at this wedding, I think Harry hasn't seen those traits in Louis either or maybe he has and has loved my brother enough to oversee them seeing that today Harry has become Mr. Tomlinson.' Cheers and whistles around the room. Ernest raised his glass towards Louis and Harry.

'What I want to say to the happy couple today is this. I might be too young to know about love but all I know and all that I want to tell you both is that love isn't perfect. Love isn't a fairy tale or a storybook and it doesn't always come easy like some romance novel. No! Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. You will have arguments, you will be mad at each other, you will slam doors and not speak to each other for a while but your love is stronger than all of that. I twill keep you together. Love is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without. Love is hard work every day but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it together. Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends please join me in a toast to the perfect couple, to a long life together filled with nothing but happiness, adventure, health, romance and lots of wonderful memories.' Everyone cheered them and Louis got up and hugged his brother tightly. Next toast came from Des. He stood up with a glass of champagne in his hand.

'Today is a very special day. My only son has married the love of his life and for that I couldn't be happier. If his mother was here today she would be so proud of you Harry but I know she is watching down on this day and is here with all of us in spirit. All I have to say to you both is ; this is your love story that has come true for the both of you. Your journey into marriage started the moment you said "I Do" to each other. Cherish this bond; it belongs only to the both of you. Start each day with gratitude and compassion for each other and unconditional love will follow. Believe in each other, support each other's dreams and remember to dream together too. Always give more than you think the other needs. Say "I love you" and "thank you" every day! Trust, respect and appreciate each other. Be spontaneous, be fun, be romantic, be playful! Stand together but let there be space in your togetherness. Know when to listen, to talk, to let your heart feel. Never go to bed angry with each other. Apologize. Forgive and forget. Never be angry with each other at the same time. Work together. Play together. Fate has chosen you for each other. With each passing year, you will grow closer together, drawing strength from one another and two shall become one. May you be blessed with the greatest happiness in life : to love and beloved.' Harry got up and hugged his father then Des hugged Louis. Everyone clapped and cheered. Then Louis stood up and looked down at Harry who had pink cheeks and a smile so big on his face and who radiated happiness. Louis cleared his throat.

'I always thought it would be difficult to find someone who would love me when I'm always scattered into a thousand pieces. It's like trying to complete a puzzle when you don't even know if you have all the right pieces but when I met you Harry, you showed me that every piece doesn't have to be in place to create something beautiful. You showed me that love can exist in the most imperfect, lost and broken people. You loved me without question, without doubt. You were steadfast in your love for me. You guided me back when I got lost and you believed in me so strongly. Your faith in me was astounding. For that I thank you. I thank you for keeping me whole, for not giving up on me or on us, for holding down fort when I was at war with myself and for being sensible when I was being dumb. Harry I promise you today in front of our families and friends that I will love you properly and make sure you will be happy. Thank you for teaching me that love can be just as beautiful even if you are in a thousand pieces. Please raise your glass to my amazing husband.' Louis bent down and placed a kiss on Harry's lips who was so overwhelmed. 'I love you,' Louis whispered against his lips. Louis sat down and Harry stood up, with a soft smile on his lips and eyes only for Louis. Everyone quieted down.

'I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way with you. I do believe in fate and destiny but I also believe that we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose to do anyway. And I chose you Louis. I chose you the moment I laid my eyes on you. I chose you when things were bad. I chose you when things were good and I will continue to choose you. In a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds,in any version of reality, I'd find you and I will choose you every single time. I love you so much.' Louis stood up, wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in for a kiss, this time not hesitating in plunging his tongue into Harry's mouth and Harry received him eagerly. Everyone whistled and clapped and cheered. Then the lead singer of the band spoke.

'Ladies and gentlemen, please make your way on to the dance floor for the couple's first dance. Louis.Harry come on down here. And to sing their song, may I introduce their friend Ed Sheeran.' There was clapping and chairs being moved as everyone made their way towards the dance floor. Ed took his place at the microphone and picked up his guitar just as Louis and Harry stood alone in the middle of the dance floor. Ed began strumming on his guitar a cover of "Amazed"by Lonestar and Louis and Harry began moving.

 

Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby, when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away  
I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you

They moved slowly, pressed together, hand in hand, one of Louis' hands on Harry's waist and Harry's hand on his shoulder. They smiled at each other and kissed to the slow soft music as they slow danced under the trees which were lit up with floating lanterns and fairy lights.

The smell of your skin  
The taste of your kiss  
The way you whisper in the dark  
Your hair all around me  
Baby, you surround me  
Touch every place in my heart  
And it feels like the first time every time  
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you

As they continued to dance, slowly other couples joined them on the dance floor to share with them this very first special dance. When the song finished, Ed spoke into the mic.

'I would like to congratulate the newly weds and as I promised them, I would play a few songs on their special day while the band takes a short break. This next song I was asked to sing by Harry for Louis because it was the song they danced while Harry taught Louis to ice-skate the first Christmas they spent together. So here it goes. Louis, this is for you.' Ed started playing the guitar.

'I found a love for me, darling just dive right in and follow my lead. Well I found a guy beautiful and sweet. I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.' Louis looked up at Harry.

'Yes I remember this song. You sang it to me while I tried not to fall on my ass on the ice,' he said. Harry cupped his cheek and kissed him softly.

'Gonna sing to you again. Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath but you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.' Harry kissed him again and Louis felt over emotional as Harry held him and sang to him and they swayed along to Ed's acoustic guitar. When the song ended, Ed sang another few covers and the guests danced while Harry and Louis went to the bar for another drink and for chats with their friends and families. Liam, Zayn and Niall dragged Harry away to dance to some seventies music the band where playing and Louis watched him dancing with his friends with a proud, satisfied and fond look on his face.

'And you did it,' Marc told him as he slid beside him and ordered another drink. 'Honestly Louis up until the very last minute I thought you would back out. I thought you would bolt before Harry got here.' Louis looked at him slightly offended but with a smile on his lips.

'Bolt and leave that beauty? You must be out of your fucking mind or drunk,' Louis said taking a sip of his drink.

'I did make him beautiful for you didn't I?' Marc asked him with a grin.

'You did amazingly well,' Louis told him. Marc moved a little closer.

'I saw him naked,' he whispered in his ear. 'In his hotel suite. You should see what he's wearing underneath but....'

'Marc shut the fuck up,' Louis growled. 'Its not too late to have you kicked out.' Marc laughed.

'Still a jealous fuck aren't you? He's your husband now!'

'Yeah that's why I don't want you seeing him fucking naked.'

'Well I did and he's hot as fuck,' Marc teased him. Louis shook his head.

'You're an asshole.'

'But you love me,' Marc said batting his eyelashes at him. Louis had no choice but to laugh and let himself be dragged on to the dance floor where Harry wrapped himself around him like a sloth, his face buried in Louis' neck.

'I can't believe I'm dancing with my husband at my wedding.' Louis rubbed his back.

'Believe it darling. We are married and soon we will be off on a month long honeymoon just you, me and some quiet time for us.'

'Sounds lovely,' Harry said but was soon cut off by their friends and Louis' siblings.

'Time to cut the cake!' Lottie told them excitedly.

'Already?' Harry asked. Marc wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

'Aren't you excited to start your honeymoon cher?' Harry looked from Marc to Louis.

'Yeah I am,' he said.

'Great,' Marc told him, 'so you guys come cut the cake. We eat said cake and drink some more champagne then you are going to go upstairs and change into your going away suits which I have laid our for you in separate rooms might I add. We don't want you consummating your marriage here now would we? Your chauffeured limo will pick you up in thirty minutes to drive you to the airport. All your luggage is already on board. The flight is scheduled to leave in two hours so come on, let's cut the cake shall we?' Louis took Harry's hand and led him towards the table where the cake was set up with various bottles of champagne and crystal flutes ready to be filled with the sparkling drink. Louis and Harry took their place behind the cake. Johanna was sitting beside Louis flanked by her children. Des and Marge stood beside Harry. Before they cut the cake, a microphone was handed to Johanna.

'Today is a very happy day for me. I watched my first born marry the love of his life and I couldn't be happier.' Johanna paused and looked up at Louis who was looking at her tenderly and with a lot of love. 'Louis, my son, my heart is so happy for you today. You are my first born and I cannot help but remember the first moment I laid eyes on you. You were so small and I fell in love with you. You have been one of the sweetest blessings of my life. I watched you grow, days filled with joy and sorrow.' Johanna paused and gulped thickly because Louis knew what she was referring to. He reached down and took her hand.

'It's alright mum,' he whispered as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. Johanna wiped away a tear and continued :

'I've loved you through all the sorrow, the hard days, the darkest of our days, I have loved you so strongly Louis. Now you're all grown up and you have become a kind, gentle and generous man. You are very strong and courageous and I am very very proud of the man you have become.You have fallen in love and you are starting a brand new life. You have chosen a beautiful young man as your husband. I could not be happier to officially welcome him to our family today. He is truly special in every way and very good for you. He brings out the best in you and I can't thank God enough for all he has done for you and for us. As you both embark on this new journey together, I wish you unspeakable joy. May you experience love that is bountiful. I hope that the love that you have for each other will make you feel protected but not smothered, challenged but not threatened, directed but not controlled, wanted but not possessed. I love you both very very much and I couldn't be happier on this day.' Louis bent down and hugged his mother tightly.

'I love you mum. I love you so much,' Louis whispered in her hair. Then Harry was hugging her tightly and kissing her wet cheeks.

'Don't cry,' Harry whispered. 'You have cried enough for a lifetime. I love you....mum,' he finished and Johanna hugged him tighter.

'My dear dear son,' she whispered back as she kissed his cheek. Harry pulled back a little and looked at her clearly embarrassed that he had let it slip and called her mum.

'You um you don't mind that I um called you....'

'Harry no,' Johanna stopped him. 'I am honored. Thank you.' Harry hugged her again as he was tugged back to cut the cake. He and Louis held the knife together and amidst cheers, claps and a rainfall of confetti, they cut the cake then they were served a piece each and they fed each other. Flutes of champagne were handed out again but soon Marc was ushering them into the house and upstairs into different rooms to change.

The guests downstairs waited for them at the front of the house, lining the stairs and the pathway that led to their waiting limo. As soon as Louis and Harry appeared, in fresh suits and hand in hand, everyone cheered loudly and showered them with rice. Louis and Harry ducked and ran to the waiting limo. Before they climbed in, they turned to wave at everyone, kissed and got in the car. The chauffeur closed the door behind them, got in behind the wheel and began the drive towards Manchester airport.

X

The drive to the airport was quick. There was hardly any traffic at that time of the evening so the drive was smooth and without delays. As soon as they boarded the jet, the crew greeted them with champagne and offered their congratulations to the newly wedded couple. They had a long flight ahead of them so they made themselves comfortable.Harry cuddled closer to Louis.

'It was a nice wedding wasn't it?' Harry said as he took a sip of his champagne. Louis wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

'It was perfect,' Louis murmured. 'Everything was perfect. The whole day was perfect. You were perfect.' Harry smiled and inched even closer to Louis.

'You were perfect too. I'm glad all went well. I can't believe we are married and on the way to our honeymoon.' Louis kissed the top of his head.

'Believe it darling. We are married. YOU are my husband and I am yours.' Harry tilted his head up and looked at Louis.

'Husband,' he said, smiling around the word. 'I can't wait till we are alone in out hotel room,' Harry murmured. Louis leaned down and kissed his lips softly.

'Hmmm the things I want to do to you,' he murmured back against Harry'slips. Harry felt goosebumps break out all over his skin.

'Looking forward to it.' The jet began to move and over the intercom the pilot announced that they had clearance for take off and that their flight would take fourteen hours and thirty minutes to Manila. They fastened their seat belts and looked out the window as the plane took off into the night sky.

X

When they landed in Manila it was early evening and very hot. Louis and Harry left the jet and headed outside to a waiting car that was to escort them to The Diamond Hotel. The city was bustling with energy, people, traffic and Harry was excited, looking out of the window at the scenery. They both felt energized as they has slept most of the flight. The excitement surrounding the wedding and the sleepless nights leading up to the wedding had caught up with them and they had slept soundly on the jet.

The chauffeur pulled up in front of the luxurious hotel and a bell hop came to take their luggage. They walked in to the large reception desk hand in hand and checked in where they were given keys to their suite. They rode the elevator to the top of the building and exited into an elegant carpeted hallway. Louis opened their room and they both took in a deep breath at the beauty of their suite. The room was lavish and big and beautifully decorated in soft browns and creams.The bed was big and comfortable and very very inviting. Most of the walls were glass and looked down onto the pool and the beach beyond. They had a terrace with a jacuzzi in it too! Louis tipped the bellhop generously and when the door clicked shut, he turned to Harry.

'Finally we are alone,' he said softly. The sparkle in his eyes wasn't lost on Harry. Harry crossed the room and moved into Louis' space.

'Finally,' he said and captured Louis' lips into a loving kiss which soon turned passionate, hungry and needy. Harry pulled back and rested his forehead against Louis'.

'I need to change,' he said a little breathlessly. Louis' hands drifted down to his ass and he grabbed his cheeks in his hands and squeezed hard, pulling Harry's groin into his, making him feel his erection.

'Don't make me wait any longer. I've waited enough,' Louis whispered in his ear as he began kissing down the column of his neck, sucking the skin. Harry let his head fall back giving Louis more access. He moaned softly as he felt Louis' tongue lick his skin and his teeth scrape and bite. Harry thrust his hips forward finding friction with Louis' hard dick. Harry moaned again in Louis' mouth.

'I want you,' he whined. Louis continued to lick and tease. 'Louis please.'

'Hmmm,' he said against Harry's skin. 'No rush. I want to make sweet slow love to you. I want to unravel you bit by bit and watch you fall apart multiple times. I want to take it nice and slow, love you nice and proper.' Harry moaned again and crushed his body to Louis'.

'I need you so much Lou,' he said, his voice almost begging. Louis pulled back and smiled at him.

'Go change for me yeah. Hurry up.' Harry nodded and pulled away, grabbing his small suitcase and taking it with him into the bathroom. Louis smiled and went to the small bar in the room and poured himself a scotch neat. He sipped the drink as he looked out the floor to ceiling windows at the beautiful beach below. He made a mental note to take Harry for a stroll on that beach. He walked back into the bedroom and began to undress until he was just in his tight boxers. He pulled back the duvet off the bed and climbed on it, nestling on the soft pillows and the crisp white sheets. He took another sip of his drink as he waited for Harry to emerge from the bathroom. Louis absent mindedly began to slowly palm himself as he waited for Harry and sipped his drink. He was so ready for this.

The soft click of the bathroom door opening had Louis holding his breath in anticipation. This was their wedding night. They hadn't made love in what felt like ages and suddenly Louis realized that he was nervous. His eyes widened and his breath hitched as Harry stepped into the room, illuminated by the soft light of the bathroom behind him that made him look ethereal. He was biting his lower lip and looking at Louis shyly from beneath his lowered lashes, dressed in white lace panties, a white lace garter belt that held up white lace stockings that had a blue ribbon round the top of each thigh. Louis licked his lips and took in a deep shaky breath. His cock hardened at just the sight of Harry in those lace knickers and the bulge straining against the delicate material.

'Come here sweetheart,' Louis said tenderly holding his hand out to Harry. Harry flicked the light of the bathroom off and walked towards Louis, eyes slightly down and head a little bowed. He knew how Louis liked him. He knew Louis liked him to be soft and pliant and submissive and tonight he was going to give his husband everything he desired.

He put one knee on the mattress, his weight slightly dipping the bed, then hauled himself up and crawled his way up until he was straddling Louis' bare thighs. Louis' eyes roamed over Harry's bare torso, his nipples already hard little buds, perky and ready for attention. Harry shuddered a little under Louis' hot and heavy gaze.

'You are so beautiful,' Louis whispered huskily as he ran one hand up Harry's thigh, loving the feel of the lace stocking under his fingertips. Louis' hand stopped at the top of his thigh as he fingered the blue satin ribbon. His thumb caressed the exposed skin near Harry's groin and Louis felt him stiffen, hold his breath and bite down on his lip.

'Relax darling,' Louis told him as he continued to rub circles in the heated flesh of his thigh. Harry moaned a little in the back of his throat. 'Needy are we?' Louis asked him. Harry nodded and Louis took a sip of his scotch.

'Told you I'm going to love you nice and slow. This is our wedding night. We are going to consummate our vows and I want to make love to you properly with all the love that's in my heart has for you,' Louis told him and Harry was filled with new emotions and love for his husband. Louis' hand moved from Harry's thigh to his hip, up to his fern tattoos, leaving goosebumps on his skin as they moved further up his waist, his rib cage, his butterfly tattoo, until his thumb ran gently across his nipple, making Harry whine softly and arch his back, pushing into Louis' touch that he craved so much. Louis kept his eyes fixed on Harry's face as he continued to tease his nipple with gentle strokes back and forth with his thumb. A red flush creeped up from Harry's chest, up his neck and pooled prettily into his cheeks. Harry rocked his ass slowly back and forth over Louis' thighs. He was so beautiful and Louis couldn't get enough of watching Harry as he turned him on bit by bit.

Harry took in another deep shuddering breath. 'Louis please,' he whispered, his hips rocking over Louis' thighs.

'Patience my love,' Louis told him. 'We've got all night.' Harry scooted closer, sliding his bum over Louis' thighs till his hard clock was nestled just beneath Louis' navel. Louis could feel how hard Harry was and he could also also feel his sticky wetness seeping through the lace of his panties. They were both breathing hard, mouths slightly parted. Louis' hands found their way to Harry's bum. He caressed the round lace covered mounds, spread them and kneaded the soft flesh, eliciting breathy moans from Harry who rocked slightly in Louis' lap trying to find some friction on his dick.

'Beautiful,' Louis whispered as he continued to knead and spread his cheeks apart, his fingers digging in the soft flesh.

'Louis,' Harry whined desperately as he rutted harder in his lap. Louis dug his fingers in his soft hips rendering Harry immobile. Harry groaned when he found himself unable to rock his hips against Louis. Louis looked up at him and found Harry's eyes on him, silently pleading. Oh Louis knew how eager Harry was to be fucked after being without sex for this long. Heck, he was ready to bury himself inside Harry with one swift movement, no prep, no foreplay, no nothing. Just fuck him senseless into the mattress until he came hard deep inside of him but this was their wedding night. Louis wanted to romance him, love him, caress him gently and tenderly, kiss every inch of his skin, draw it out as much as he could until they finally made love, join together again, connect, come home.

'I need you to calm down sweetheart. I don't want to rush this. I want to pleasure you, enjoy you. I want to give myself to you properly. I'm your husband and you are mine and I want this night to be more than just fucking. Take a deep breath darling.' Harry frowned.

'I'm so hard it hurts Louis,' he said. Louis kissed his lips softly.

'I know. I can feel you. Let's take the edge off a little bit shall we so you can enjoy it too? I want you relaxed, fully functional and a participant. Lie back sweetheart.' Harry nodded.

'Where's my phone?' he asked and Louis looked at him a little perplexed. Harry smiled. 'I have my wedding night playlist,' he explained sheepishly and he sounded so innocent that Louis just hugged him.

'You made a playlist for our wedding night?' Louis asked him, his face buried in his neck, his hand going up and down his bare back. He felt Harry chuckle against him.

'Of course I did! I found all these romantic songs to go with our romantic night.' Louis placed a kiss on his shoulder.

'You thought of everything,' he told him, his voice soft. 'It's on the bedside table on your side.' Harry moved back from Louis' warm arms and leaned over to grab his phone. It was there, along side lube, wet wipes and a few bottles of water. Harry smiled. Apparently Louis had thought of everything too. He grabbed his phone and tapped on his music app and went to the playlist. He tapped shuffle and the music of 'Ill make love to you' by Boys To Men filled the room. Harry removed himself off Louis' lap and lay back down on the bed, the cool sheets welcome against his over heated skin.

Louis rolled over and settled in between Harry's spread legs, their clothed dicks lining up. Harry sighed. Louis leaned down and captured his lips, slowly kissing him until Harry parted his lips and Louis'tongue found his. They kissed each other hungrily, hands touching, hips rutting against each other desperately, moans passing from mouth to mouth swallowed up by each other. Louis broke the kiss and began placing kisses down Harry's jaw and neck. Harry's fingers where grasping at Louis' smooth back, his hips bucking up into Louis. Louis continued to kiss his chest and suck his nipples and he was sure that his husband was going to come like this; by having his nipples sucked and rutting against his hard dick and Louis wasn't going to let him come that way.

Louis kissed his way down to Harry's navel and Harry bucked up again, a steady litany of please please please leaving his puffy red lips. Louis sucked on his laurel tattoos, finger tracing the waist band of his lace panties. Harry's breath hitched in his throat and he held it, waiting for Louis to touch him where he needed to be touched the most.

'Breathe,'Louis said against his skin, his hot breath fanning on the small hairs beneath Harry's navel that disappeared inside his panties. Harry gulped and made a choking sound because Louis was making him so horny and he was so hard and he needed to....but before he could complete his blurry thought, he heard a small ripping sound and an"opps" leave Louis' mouth. Harry raised his head and looked at Louis smirking from between his spread thighs holding the ripped lace panties in his hand.

'Sorry,' Louis offered but Harry couldn't give two fucks about the ripped panties at the moment. He lay back his head down and bucked his hips up letting Louis know what he wanted and needed. He was not ready when he felt Louis' mouth on him, hot and wet and Harry bucked up again into Louis' mouth, a strangled sob leaving his parted lips. Louis took him deep into his throat, his tongue licking the underside as he went up, tongue swirling around Harry's swollen head that tasted salty and sticky.

'God please please,' Harry mumbled as he bucked up again, fisting Louis'soft hair, hitting the back of Louis' throat with the force of his thrusts and Louis let him, he let his husband fuck his mouth as he pleased and chase his much needed release. He only bobbed his head a few more times, sucking hard as he went before he felt Harry still and spill into his mouth, a sinful moan escaping his lips. Louis swallowed every last drop and when he felt Harry go soft in his mouth, he pulled off but he wasn't going to stop there. Harry relaxed on the mattress, his breathing fast and heavy as he came down from his orgasm then his closed eyes flew open as he felt Louis' lips on his balls, his finger brushing against his dry hole. Without knowing, Harry spread his legs wider giving Louis more access and Louis took it. He sucked on Harry's balls, on the inside of his soft thighs, rubbing his beard on his sensitive skin. With his free hand he took Harry's limp cock and began pumping him softly, slowly. He needed to get him had again! When his jaw began to cramp, he moved up Harry's body and kissed him deeply, allowing him to taste himself on Louis' tongue. Louis' hand reached out towards the bedside table and blindly without breaking their kiss fumbled for the lube. His hand grabbed the small bottle.

'Har...Harry,' Louis mumbled against his lips as Harry continued to kiss him and pulling him over his body.'Harry....wait....I....I....need...lube....baby...give me a sec.' Louis broke away from Harry's lips as Harry continued to kiss his neck and chest, kissing wherever he could get his lips to be in contact with Louis' skin. Louis groaned as Harry began to suck at the skin beneath his ear. Louis popped open the cap of the bottle and squirted a generous amount of lube into his hand. They had gone without sex for a while and Louis knew that Harry would be tight. The idea of burying his dick inside of him, feeling the warm, wet, velvet heat around him sent a thrill through him making him shiver.

'Honey I'm going to open you up okay,' Louis said against Harry's relentless lips. Harry simply nodded and spread his legs further for Louis.Louis felt endeared at how his beautiful husband was always so willing. Louis reached down between them as he half lay on Harry, his knee between his thighs keeping his legs spread open and placed his index finger against Harry's hole. Immediately Harry moaned and Louis felt his hole flutter under his finger. He felt Harry's fingers dig in to his biceps. Louis pushed and Harry's tight muscle gave slowly and allowed Louis entrance. Slowly but surely Louis slid his middle finger all the way inside his husband.

'Oh God Louis, ' Harry murmured. 'I missed this so much. I missed you.' Harry grabbed Louis tighter as if afraid he was going to stop. Harry pushed his hips down and Louis got the message. He pulled his finger out and then back in, slowly but steadily making Harry whine in the most delightful way.

'I missed this too darling,' Louis told him as he continued to finger him slowly. Gradually Louis had three fingers inside Harry who was a mess beneath him, mumbling and moaning. Louis was so hard from just seeing his husband moan and writhe beneath him, desperate for more. Harry cupped Louis' face and kissed him as Louis continued to pump his fingers in and out of him.

'Now please please. I....I can't....any longer please Lou, ' he muttered against Louis' lips. Louis kissed him deeper and pulled his fingers out of Harry. Louis was breathing fast and hard, his hard dick leaking allover Harry's thigh.

'Ok my darling,' Louis told him as he grabbed the lube and coated himself generously. He positioned himself between Harry's legs, his tip nudging at Harry's expectant hole. 'I love you,' Louis told him as he pushed his hips forward pressing into Harry. He could feel Harry tremble beneath him, making chocking gasping sounds as he took Louis in. Harry arched his back off the bed, his nails digging into Louis' back.

'Ahhhh,' he let out,his eyes closed tightly shut.

'A-am I h-hurting you?' Louis asked him. Harry tightened his knees around Louis waist.

'N-noj-just ahhh the s-stretch ahhh it b-burns,' Harry whined out. 'Don't stop.' And to make sure Louis got his point, he dug his heels into Louis' bum urging him forward. Louis inched in a little more and Harry made the most beautiful sounds ever.

'Baby,' Louis groaned, feeling Harry's body stretching to accommodate him. He had forgeotten how good it felt to be inside Harry and he had to admit that Harry had been right about the sex ban. It made everything more hightened, more intense. Louis continued to push inside Harry, Harry eliciting beautiful sounds from his parted lips. Louis kept his eye son Harry's face and watched him as he filled him up inch by inch. He leaned in and licked into his open mouth. Harry did not kiss back, he just panted and breathed into Louis' mouth and Louis took everything Harry was giving. When he bottomed out, he stopped and did not move.Harry's eyes were scrunched up shut as he adjusted to the pain of having Louis inside of him again.

'Sweetheart look at me,' Louis told him as he kissed his face, peppering kisses on his flushed sweaty face. 'Open your eyes darling I want to see you.' Slowly, Harry opened his eyes. 'There you are,' Louis smiled. 'Are you alright?' Harry gave him a small smile.

'Yes,' he breathed. 'Move.' Louis kissed him again, slow, tender, gentle.

'Keep your eyes on me honey,' Louis told him as he pulled out of him almost all the way and slipped back in, both of them moaning deeply at the sensation. Harry wanted to close his eyes from the immense feelings but he kept them locked on Louis' blue eyes that were glimmering. Louis' heart was pounding fast and heart in his chest, drumming in his ears. He picked up a rhythm, slow and deep, pushing into Harry as deep as he could go. Harry was lifting up his hips off the mattress to meet his thrusts and together they moved as one, one giving, the other receiving, one pushing, the other pulling in.

Harry's breath was coming in deep gasps, his fingers grabbing at Louis' back, his hips moving erratically. Louis raised Harry's leg till his knee was touching his chest and with this new position, as soon as Louis thrust in, he hit right into Harry's prostate making him cry out.

'P-please please please Louis don't stopdon'tstopdon'tstop,' he mumbled and Louis obliged. He picked up his pace and thrust relentlessly into Harry, his eyes on his face wanting to watch his beautiful husband fall apart. Louis was close but he wanted Harry to come first. With his free hand, he wrapped it around Harry's hard cock and pulled and tugged until he felt Harry, tense, his body rigid and ready for release and with one more deep thrust and a pull on his cock, Harry came for the second time. He came harder than before, spilling all over his tummy and Louis' hand, his eyes wide and green, lips parted, soft moans leaving his mouth and that was it for Louis. He let go of Harry's cock, braced himself and came deep and hard inside his husband, his own moans of pleasure filling their room.

Louis lay on top of Harry, knowing that probably his weight was crushing him but he could feel Harry's arms around his waist holding him close as their bodies shook with the aftershocks of their orgasms.

'I love you.' Louis panted in the crook of Harry's sweaty neck. He felt Harry's fingers going up his spine with feather light touches.

'I love you too,' he whispered. 'That was well waiting for going by without sex for a while.' Louis chuckled.

' Ihave to admit it was but there will be no further need to ban sex now,' Louis told him as he rolled off of him and lay beside him. Outside their huge floor to ceiling walls, the sky over Manila began to lighten up, indicating the birth of a new day, their first new day as husbands. Louis opened his arms for Harry and Harry scooted into his arms where he belonged. Louis cuddled him close, Harry's head on his chest listening to the steady thumping of his heart.

'We should shower,' Harry said. 'We're filthy.'

'I like filthy,' Louis said with a smirk on his face. 'Filthy is good.' Harry laughed lightly.

'I guess it is. Besides I'm too tired to get up and you are so warm.' Louis pulled him closer.

'Let's have a nap. It will be dawn soon. Then we can go down for breakfast and go out. See what the Philippines has to offer us by way of entertainment. We have a whole week here so we will make the most of it.' Louis placed a kiss on Harry's forehead and they fell silent, both of them falling into easy sleep together.

X

Their week in the Philippines passed by quickly. It was romantic full of long walks on the beach, intimate dinners, sight seeing, swimming at beautiful beaches with waterfalls, drinks in their jacuzzi out on the terrace of their suite and making love at every possible opportunity.They had just arrived in Bangkok Thailand and Louis was tipping the bell hop who had brought up their luggage when his phone rang. Harry was enjoying the view from their suite balcony and still singing "One Night in Bangkok" by Murray Head, a song he had been singing for the past forty five minutes ever since the pilot had announced their decent in Bangkok. Louis swiped his phone and walked towards him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

'Walter,' Louis said smiling into the phone, 'why must you bother me on my honeymoon?' Louis kissed the side of Harry's neck.

'Sorry Louis. I know you told me no work related issues while you are on your honeymoon but something came up and it cannot wait.' Louis sighed and walked towards the bar, nestling the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he poured drinks for himself and Harry.

'Alright then if its so urgent guess I'll make an exception. I'm putting you on speaker.' Louis put the phone down on the bar and put it on speaker. 'Now, tell me what's so urgent that it cannot wait and you dare intrude on my honeymoon.' There was a pause on Walter's side. Louis and Harry looked at each other.

'I had a call from the Warden at Leeds Prison yesterday,' Walter told him. Louis' hands stilled. Harry walked over to him immediately and stood beside him looking at the phone as if Robert was going to manifest himself out of the phone. Louis swallowed thickly.

'What did he want?' he finally asked, hoping in his heart that Walter would tell him that his father was dead. He put the bottle he had been holding down because his hands where shaking.

'Your father wants to cut a deal,' Walter said. Harry looked at Louis and Louis looked back at him with scared eyes.

'What kind of deal?' he asked softly. They heard rustling through the phone as if Walter was shifting papers around. Harry took Louis' hands in his reassuring him that whatever it was, they could handle it. He rubbed his back comfortingly.

'Well he said that he wants ten mil to sign over his surname and divorce papers.'

'He what?' Louis asked uncertain if he had heard right. Walter sighed.

'He wants ten mil Louis. He will sign everything you want.' Louis and Harry kept their eyes on each other as if they were having a secret conversation with just their eyes.

'What do you advise?' Louis asked Walter. Another heavy sigh from Walter.

'Well I reckon if you do want your surname and a divorce for your mum, it should be a done deal. It's not like you can't spare ten mil,' Walter said. Louis was about to speak when Harry stopped him.

'Walter, do you think that's wise?'

'Oh hello Harry. Enjoying your honeymoon?' Walter asked him brightly.

'Yes thank you very much. Like I said do you think it's wise for Louis to pay him off on this deal? That is a very large sum of money.' Louis kept his eyes fixed on Harry.

'Why not?' Walter asked him. 'It's not like he can't afford it. Ten mil is pocket change for Louis.' Harry looked at Louis, then down at the phone as if deciding on what to say next. Louis nodded at him to continue.

'Speak your mind Harry. Tell me what you think,' Louis urged him. Harry shrugged.

'I just don't think Robert should have ten million dollars. It's dangerous. Do you know what that amount of money can buy or...who it can buy?' There was silence in the room and on the line. Harry sighed. 'I just...I don't want him having the means to hurt Louis with. Money is a dangerous thing in the wrong hands.'

'Harry,' Walter said, 'Robert will not have access to that money until he's out of prison. Louis wants that divorce for his mother and to trademark his surname.....'

'Yes I know that,' Harry cut him off, 'but Robert has had people working on the outside for him before. Who knows who he could bribe to hurt Louis.' He paused and looked at Louis. 'Louis I'm not comfortable with this. Please let it go. Don't give him that money.' Louis seemed to be hesitating, thinking the offer in his each and weighing Harry'swords. He squeezed Harry's hand.

'Walt, inform the warden that there's not deal. I will not deal or negotiate with that man and further inform him the warden that I do not want any calls on my father's behalf ever again. Do you understand?'

'Loud and clear boss. I'll give him a ring. Enjoy your honeymoon.' Walter hung up and silence settled around them. Harry moved closer to Louis.

'Are you mad at me? Did I step out of line?' he asked him in a small voice. Louis gave him a small smile and pulled him closer, placing a kiss on his lips.

'I am not mad at you sweetheart. You are right. He shouldn't be allowed to have access to that kind of money and you made me see that when I was ready to just give him that money to get what I want and make him go away. Thank you love for making me see.' Louis kissed him again, deeper and longer. When he pulled back he told him :

'Ready to go and experience a little bit of Thailand then?' Harry nodded and they set off together, hand in hand, Walter's call all but forgotten.

X

Their days in Thailand were relaxing : sunbathing at the hotel pool, fancy restaurants, visiting tourist sites, temples, markets, late nights and lazy early mornings which ended up in feeding each other breakfast and morning sex as the sun rose to greet another day.

It was a Saturday evening and Louis and Harry decided to have a romantic dinner at the hotel restaurant to celebrate their two week wedding anniversary. It was during this dinner that Harry and Louis made the acquaintance of Oliver and Leyland Birch, a married couple from Orlando Florida who were in Thailand celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary. Oliver and Leyland saw them sitting at the bar and came over, introducing themselves and they got talking over cocktails. Eventually, they moved their conversation to dinner where Oliver and Leyland joined them.

'Ah you are both so cute in your honeymoon phase,' Oliver told them, winking at his husband and cuddling closer to him. Leyland nudged Harry.

'Wait till he starts leaving socks lying around and you have to pick up after him.'

'I so do not!' Oliver protested, eyes wide and rosy cheeks. Louis rolled his eyes.

'Harry will not have to pick up my socks after me. I pay maids to do that but just so you know, I don't leave socks lying around,' Louis told them.

'So Louis,' Leyland said, 'what is it exactly that you do since you have maids working for you?' The conversation flowed to work and what everyone did for a living and what where Harry's ambitions now that he had graduated. Bottles of wine flowed and everyone drank and chatted. Both couples where open with their affections towards their spouse. They the conversation took a turn and they ended up talking about sex and kinks and fetishes. Harry squirmed a little in his chair, clearly a little uncomfortable.

'We didn't know we were into BDSM until we came here for our wedding anniversary,' Oliver was saying, his face flushed. Louis took Harry's hand in his under the table. 'I mean, we were pretty vanilla Ley and I weren't we Ley darling but we met this guy while on our honeymoon and he, well, he got us intrigued.' Leyland laughed as if Oliver was just talking about the most random thing in the world.

'Oli was dead set against it at first because honestly, we had never given any thought to it but I found it interesting and wanted to give it a try. I mean we were newly weds and we wanted adventure and what's the harm in trying something new right? After all he had just promised me for better or worse, so I said yeah why not?' Oliver took a sip of his wine. Louis squeezed Harry's hand tightly under the table.

'So the guy gave us his card. It was for a club called "The Dungeon".We decided to check it out and boy am I glad we did. It opened a whole new world for us. After our first experience there, which we needed guidance for as like I told you, we were very amateur about it, we began to teach ourselves the art. We discovered that Ley here is a dom and I'm a sub. We researched a lot as we wanted to do it right and we have mastered it. I'm telling you, our bedroom activities have become more exciting.' Louis and Harry looked at each other clearly both uncomfortable that these two were so comfortable discussing their sex life with them.

'I bet,' Louis said.

'Now we come here for every anniversary and we visit the club. Becoming members was the best thing we ever did and the best ten grand we ever spent and,' Leyland said as he looked at Oliver and gave him a wink, 'we figured that you two might like to try it out perhaps.' Harry squeezed Louis' hand so hard he felt the bones crunch.

'Oh,' Louis said, 'thanks but we um we are not....'

'Stop right there my friend,' Leyland told him putting a hand up, 'never say never until at least you try. You never know what you are capable of or what you like or don't like until you try it. Here,' he told them as he reached for his wallet in the back of his pants He opened it and pulled out a card handing it to Louis. The card was black, displaying a pair of handcuffed hands with the words "The Dungeon"on top in red then an address and telephone number at the bottom.

'The owner is American,' Oliver explained. 'He moved here a few years back and opened shop here. It's a place for gays only,where you know one can experiment. It is a bit out of the way as he doesn't like to flaunt it much which is why its by membership only. It's very discreet. Helpful staff. Lots and lots to do. Trust me, you should try it. Its an experience.' Louis just nodded and smiled and quickly diverted the conversation because Harry was as red as a beetroot and squirming in his chair.

Later that night, after they lay together in their bed in the dark, sweaty and breathless after passionate love making, Harry traced mindless circles on Louis' chest as he heard the beating of his heart thrum under his ear.

'Lou,' Harry said quietly.

'Hmm?'Louis replied too tried for anything else.

'Do you...um what they said...are you like ugh interested?' Louis smiled.

'Harry articulate a full sentence please.'

'You know what Oliver and Ley said about the....um that club? Do you like um wanna go?' Louis opened his eyes and looked down at Harry who had his face tilted up towards Louis.

'Do you?' he asked him. Harry shrugged one shoulder. Louis moved a little till he was lying sideways facing Harry. 'Talk to me Harry.' Harry kept his eyes down not daring to look up at Louis from embarrassment.

'I dunno....I just...I know you like this stuff and I thought....'

'Harry we both like it. You introduced me to it. Its a thing we discovered we both like and that we do together. Tell me what's on your mind?' Harry raised his eyes slowly until they focused on Louis.

'Do you wanna go?' he asked him timidly. Louis smiled at him as he played with his curls.

'You want to go to a BDSM club hmmm?' Harry shrugged again feeling his cheeks heat up.

'We haven't played for so long and I figured it being our honeymoon we should maybe...go.' Louis continued to play with his curls loving a flustered embarrassed Harry.

'So you want me to tie you up hmm?' Harry flushed harder but nodded. 'And what else would you like me to do to you?' Louis asked him wanting to fluster him even more but secretly, the thought was hot. Harry bit his bottom lip seductively yet shyly and Louis wondered how the fuck did he manage to pull that off.

'I...I want to be on my knees for you and I....I want you to...hurt me in a pleasurable way,' Harry said quietly. Louis felt those words go straight to his cock. It stirred. He loved to hear Harry talk this way. It did things to him.

'What else Harry?' he asked in a deep husky voice.

'I...I want you to dominate me, make me submit to you, to your needs. Tie me up and.... and use me as you see fit,' he whispered, his hot breath on Louis' face. 'I...I want you to punish me hard Lou.'

'God Harry,' Louis moaned as he closed his eyes. Just those words led to him imagine Harry on his knees and tied up had him hard. He quickly rolled out of bed and grabbed one of his ties. 'Hands up over your head,' he ordered sternly. Harry rolled on to his back immediately and raised his arms above his head, crossed at the wrists.

'Yes Sir,' he said quietly, eyes down. Louis tied his wrists together and then tied them to the bed post tightly. He looked down at his naked husband, so submissive, so ready and Louis took no time into fucking him nice and hard again, rendering Harry a crying mess. When he came inside him and rolled off of him, breathing hard and heavy, he told him :

'Tomorrow evening we'll go.'

x

The taxi driver took them through the back streets of Thailand. Away from the lights and splendor of the city and through dark alleyways lined with small houses, more like hovels and food stands that were frying food in oil, making the air thick with the smell of fried oil.Garbage cans lined the narrow sidewalks, decaying food spilling out on to the pavement, a few dogs fighting for food. It was after nine in the evening yet these narrow alleyways seemed crowded with people.Louis pulled Harry closer to him as if protecting him from the rough neighborhood they were in. Why had he allowed to come to this so called club? What if it was illegal? For all he knew, it was probably a hovel of a place, dirty and neglected and they would get mugged and probably beaten before they go to so called club. He shuddered at the thought. But Oliver and Leyland had only good things to say about the club! He was considering telling the driver to turn around and take them back to the hotel when the car stopped in a narrow, empty alley.The driver informed them that they had arrived at their destination.

Louis paid the man and stepped out of the car, holding out his hand to Harry. As soon as they closed the car door, the driver was off speeding down the impossibly narrow alley. They stood there surrounded by rickety buildings and garbage cans in front of an iron door with a naked light bulb on top of it, the only illumination in this part of the alley.

'Are you going to knock?' Harry asked him when he saw Louis eyeing the building. Louis nodded, still unsure about this but Oliver and Leyland had spoken highly of this place and had even given them their business card to assure their entrance in the club. Oliver had told them that their chances of getting in would be higher if they had been sent there by people who were already members. Louis nodded, raised his hand and knocked on the iron door. A panel in the door slid open and all Louis could see where a pair of eyes looking at them. Louis produced the business card that Oliver and Leyland had given them and placed it close to the open panel so the person could see. Without a word, the panel slid closed and the door was being unbolted and opened for them allowing them entrance. Louis walked in first, wanting to make sure that it was safe, his hold on Harry's hand tight and sure. He tugged Harry behind him into a semi lit hallway. Louis was feeling even more sure that this had been a very unwise decision on his part. The guy that had opened the door shut it with a loud clang, making Harry jump and grab at Louis' bicep. He motioned for them to follow him down a short dank corridor made of rough stone. Louis kept Harry safely tucked behind him. The man stopped at another door, this time a nice wooden polished door and when he pushed it open, bright light spilled into the dark corridor.

They walked inside a lavish round room which looked like a reception area. The floor and walls where all rough stone, with chandeliers hanging from the stone ceiling, red velvet couches spread around the room. A young man stood behind a counter smiling brightly at them.

'Hello. Welcome to The Dungeon. I am Franklin. How may I help you?' They guy had an American accent. Louis walked over to him, tugging Harry behind him.

'Are you the owner of this place?' Louis asked him. Franklin offered him a toothed smile.

'No Sir. That would be Marshall Holland. Is this your first time here?' Franklin asked him pleasantly. Louis nodded an affirmative.

'Wonderful!' Franklin gushed. 'Might I inquire as to who suggested The Dungeon to you Sir?' Louis handed him the card and Franklin smiled again. 'Ah yes Oliver and Leyland Birch. Such lovely members. Tonight, I will guide you the best I can so you can both enjoy your experience here.Let me begin by telling you the club rules.' Franklin threw a look at Harry, giving him a small smile. 'First rule of the club is that all subs must be collard so first things first. Let's get your sub collared shall we?' Louis furrowed his eyebrows at him. How did he know that Harry was a sub?

'How did you? ' he asked but trailed off. Franklin smiled again giving Harry another look.

'Well, he is standing back and partially behind you. His head is bowed, eyes down. He's letting you take the lead, do the talking. All traits of a good well behaved sub.' Louis nodded and squeezed Harry's hand who was blushing a deep red.

'So,' Franklin continued cheerfully, 'before we start you membership application, I will inform you of the rules. All subs in the club must be collard at all times. The collar will hold a microchip with the Dom's information so we know who the sub belongs to while on the property. We don't want unattended subs on the premises and subs are not allowed to roam the club unsupervised by their Dom's both for their protection and the Dom's. A sub is owned by their Dom and we want to avoid any misunderstandings should another Dom make a move on a sub that is not his. So we will enter your data in the computer which then will be transferred on to this,' Franklin said as he pulled out a black leather collar, three inches thick with a small silver plate at the back and a loop at the front.

'This plate at the back here is where the Dom's info is stored,' Franklin explained. 'We highly suggest putting the sub on a leash especially your sub Sir. He is very beautiful and his submission can be felt strongly. Other Doms might get interested so if you wish, I can provide you with a leash. For his safety, your peace of mind and ours. Now if I can please have your personal information.' Louis looked at Harry who was blushing furiously and looking down.

'Hey,' Louis said softly as he placed his finger under his chin and raised his face to his. 'Are you okay with this? We can leave if you are uncomfortable. We don't have to do this.' Harry gave him a small smile.

'I'm alright,' he said quietly. Louis turned to Franklin who was looking at them curiously, a smile on his face.

'Interesting,'he said. 'A Dom asking permission of his Sub. Very interesting.' Louis narrowed his eyes at Franklin.

'He is my husband. Of course I will ask him if he is comfortable with this. Also, a sub is really in control of what goes on not a Dom. He decides what he wants and what he allows me to do him. It's all in his hands. If he no then its no so yes, he gets a say if he wants to be put on a leash.' Franklin gave him an apologetic smile.

'Of course Sir,' he said politely. Louis turned to Harry again and cupped his cheek.

'Sweetheart are you okay with it?' Louis asked him again, putting more emphasis into his words. Harry nodded.

'Yes Sir,' he said quietly. Louis felt his heart soar. He turned to Franklin.

'Proceed,' he said in his authoritative voice that even Franklin felt his dominance. He nodded and began working on the computer, asking Louis questions and entering all the data. When he was done, he scanned the silver plate, it beeped and Franklin handed it to Louis.

'There we are. Please collar and leash your sub now.' Louis took the collar with shaky fingers. The leather was new and Louis hoped it wouldn't chafe Harry's delicate skin. He turned towards Harry almost apologetically but Harry gave him a small smile, turned around and allowed Louis to fasten the collar around his neck. The moment Louis buckled it in place, Harry wanted to fall to his knees at Louis' feet. They hadn't done this for a long time and he wanted it, need it, craved it and he knew that Louis did too. He turned back to Louis and allowed him to attach the leash to the loop at the front of his collar. Franklin smiled at them and looked at Harry.

'Subs have rules too so please make sure you follow them. You must not leave your Dom's side without asking his permission and informing him where you will be should a need arise that you need to be away from him. Preferably, you are to stay with him at all times. We do not any other Dom's moving in on unattended subs, for everyone's safety. While inside the club, you will refer to you Dom as "Sir" or"Master". You are strictly not allowed to use his first name! We value discretion and privacy here. You are to keep your head down and not look your Dom or any other Dom in the eye. You are to show him respect and obedience at all times. We insist that should your playtime together become too much for you, that you will safe word or color code right away, depends on the system you use since you are married. We want all subs to be safe and taken care of, so if it gets too much for you, we DEMAND that you use your safe word. Do you understand?' Harry nodded.

'Yes Sir,' he answered.

'Perfect. Now Mr. Tomlinson, please make sure that your sub is attended to at all times while you are on the premises. If you neglect your sub, we are not responsible for whatever happens to him. He is your responsibility. You must take care of him at all times, make sure he is safe. We take sub safety very seriously here. They make themselves vulnerable and depend on their Doms to guide them, protect them and keep them safe. Also, please make sure that after your session with your sub, that he gets the utmost after care. A hurt or neglected su bwith result in us having to revoke your membership. The club offers various options. You can take your activities to a private cell. Each cell is equipped with handcuffs, leather straps and a variety of whips, floggers, canes, belts and paddles. None of these items are to be inserted into your sub. You will also find items to use for aftercare for your sub. The club has a small sex shop where you can buy a variety of sex toys for your personal use. If you wish to exhibit yourselves so others can see you, you can do so as well. You can also hire a Dom for your sub and you can watch him with your sub. You can relax at the bar and watch others as they interact in their sexual activities. Do you have any questions?'

'Um no thank you,' Louis told him though he didn't feel quite reassured with all that Franklin had just said but then again, he had never been to a BDSM club before but he was here with Harry and they could do this or not do this together. Franklin smiled again.

'Lovely. All that's left is your payment. Fee is ten thousand dollars for a year. You can stop your membership at anytime. We are very discreet as you have probably noticed and the club is strictly elite members only.' Louis handed him his MasterCard and Franklin took the card and processed the payment. Louis signed a few papers and was handed back his card. Franklin gave Louis a folder with receipts, copies of the contracts he signed and the club rules.

'The payment on your bank records will be under San Antonio Spa Resort Membership for confidentiality. I do hope you will both enjoy your stay.' Franklin showed them to a door which he opened for them. Music drifted up from below. They descended a flight of rough stone steps with lights embedded in the walls. Louis held Harry's hand tightly in his own and the leash in the other, Franklin's words echoing in his head about how some other Dom might claim Harry! As if, Louis thought to himself. As if I'd let them get close to Harry! I would kill a motherfucker before they even laid a finger on him.

They reached the last step and found themselves in a big room. Everything about the club was made to look like a dungeon. Both Louis and Harry stood stock still, staring at what unfolded before their eyes. Collard subs on leashes, some walking behind their Doms, some on their hands and knees like dogs being led by their Doms. Naked subs. Doms in leather. Doms in suits. Subs in thongs. Doms delivering punishments. Subs being obedient as their Doms punished them. Doms fucking their subs. Spanking their subs. People at the bar sipped their expensive drinks and watched. Some were ordering a Dom. Some were looking for a sub. Moans, cries, and muffled beggings filled the room over the sound of low music that served as background noise.

'Hold fuck!' Louis whispered and his dick agreed with that holy fuck because holy fuck this was hot. Hotter than hot. Harry moved closer to Louis, eyes wide as saucers as he took in everything playing out before him. He squeezed Louis' hand and plastered his body to Louis'. Immediately, Louis felt Harry's semi hard dick against his ass. He tore away his eyes from the couple's frolicking in front of them and turned his attention to Harry.

'Are you alright with this baby?' Louis asked him, his voice thick. Harry looked at him and Louis could see that his pupils were blown wide. Harry was aroused.

'Yes Sir,' he whispered. Louis leaned in and kissed him, deep and hard.

'Tell me what you want darling,' he said against his lips, his breath hot and heavy.

'Anything,' Harry whispered. 'Except another Dom. I...Louis I don't want someone else touching me.'

'Baby no. No no no. I won't ever allow that. I couldn't stand someone else touching you, doing to you the things I do. Never. I promise.' He kissed him again, gently, reassuring him. Louis pulled back and looked into Harry's blown eyes. 'You don't want to exhibit yourself do you? Cos I don't want to. I don't want people watching us.' Harry shook his head.

'No. I want it to be private then you can do anything you want to me. Anything. I'll be good Sir I promise. I'll take anything,' Harry told him, his voice deep and husky that went straight to Louis' dick making him groan.

'Let's get a drink and book a cell. Then visit the sex shop. I want us to enjoy this.'Harry nodded and allowed Louis to lead him to the bar and order his drink because he had to obey and be a good sub. As they drank, they watched and everything was so erotic and hot, the moans, the sounds of leather smacking on bare skin making Louis harder in his pants, the pleas and the begging, the orders, the bondage. Louis needed to get Harry alone. Thankfully, a club attendant informed them that their cell was now available. Louis took Harry's hand and followed the attendant. He showed them to what was a literal cell in a dungeon with a metal door that squeaked when the attendant opened it for them. They stepped inside and the door was closed behind them with aloud clang.

The room was comfortable and clean. It sported the same traits as the whole establishment : rough stone and dim lights embedded in the walls. There was a big black leather couch with cushions and throws on it, a small bed with manacles hanging from the iron head board, an iron table with handcuffs on each leg. To the side there was what looked like a birthing bed complete with stirrups! Chains with cuffs dangled from the ceiling. Lining one wall was an array of whips, belts, floggers, leather riding crops, wooden paddles and canes. On a table below, organized neatly where blindfolds, gags, leather cuffs, nipple clamps and a variety of aftercare items including, wet wipes, water, snacks and a menu for light meals that could be ordered after a session to sustain the sub. Louis let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

'This is like a fucking five star chamber of tortures,' he breathed. Harry ran his hand softly up his back.

'Don't you like it Sir?' he asked him, wanting Louis to get in the mood to play with him. This was an adventure they were taking together. Louis turned his head to the side and looked at Harry.

'I like it,' he admitted, refraining to say how it reminded him of his basement back when his days had been devoid of Harry and love and light and flowers and rainbows. When his days were full of sadistic pain that he got off on! Louis did not want to dwell on those days that seemed to belong to another lifetime. He was now a married man, on his honeymoon with his perfect husband and they were about to enjoy some playing time together.

'Strip,' Louis ordered. 'Keep your boxers on and kneel in the middle of the room.' Harry was quick to obey. Too quick Louis thought smiling to himself. He instantly composed his face into a blank look. He removed all the fond from his face as he watched Harry undress until he was in his tiny black boxers and kneel, head down in the middle of the room on the stone cold floor. Louis wanted to give him a cushion to put under his delicate knees but he figured that he wasn't going to leave him on his knees for too long. Louis walked over to him.

'Good boy,' he purred while carding his fingers through his curls. Harry felt goosebumps break out all over his body, his nipples hardening instantly. He loved it when Louis was like this. He loved when Louis dominated him. He hoped that Louis would punish him. He wanted Louis to be severe and stern and he wanted Louis to hurt him, he wanted to feel some pain because it always felt so good and pleasurable. Harry chewed his bottom lip, wondering how to get Louis to do this. He knew that Louis always needed a little push because he always found it a little difficult to hurt him. Being disobedient always worked.

'Sir my knees hurt. Can I get up now?' Harry knew he was breaking the rules by complaining and disrespecting a command from his Dom.

'Did I give you permission to speak?' Louis growled and Harry internally smiled. There he is!

'No Sir but....'

'Are you going to argue with me? Are you stepping out of your place? Are you forgetting who I am?' Harry remained silent as Louis circled him slowly, hands behind his back.

'Do you know what mouthy disrespectful subs get?' Louis asked him. Harry decided to defy him and stayed silent. Louis grabbed a fitful of his curls and yanked his head back a little roughly till Harry's eyes met his and fuck yes his dick was getting hard from having Louis manhandle him.

'They get punished Sir,' Harry drawled trying to hide his smile of utter satisfaction. Louis let go of his hair and Harry nearly protested. He loved it when Louis pulled his hair roughly.

'Get up!' Louis barked loudly. Harry scrambled to his feet and kept his head down. Now that he had Louis on a roll, he could resume his sub duties. Louis stopped in front of him.

'You are right. Subs that step out of line need to be put back into their place and you are going to be punished severely for arguing with me, talking back and questioning my orders. Now, I want you to go to that wall over there and choose the item I will spank you with. You will get five spanks for stepping out of line. Five spanks for daring to talk back to me. And five spanks for being disrespectful and questioning my orders. Go choose it now. You have five seconds. Take longer and I will add another five spanks for disobeying me and carrying out my order. Do you understand?'

'Yes Sir,' Harry said quickly and hurried towards the display table, his eyes roving over the instruments there. Fuck, Louis was serious.Fifteen spanks! That was a lot.

'Tick tock Harry. Two seconds left,' Louis warned. In his haste, Harry picked up a wooden paddle.It was long, wide and flat. He grabbed it and hurried back to Louis, hoping to God that Louis would not land it very hard on his ass because it looked like it could deliver some serious pain.

'Here Sir,' Harry handed it to him, keeping his eyes down. Louis took the item.

'Good. It is going to be my pleasure to punish you. Just so you know, you are not allowed to come until I tell you so and just so I will make sure you obey, we are going to put on that vibrating cock ring we bought at the nice little shop. Get me the package.' Harry hurried over to where Louis left the bag with the items. He brought back the gift package that Louis bought which contained a rather large vibrator, a vibrating cock ring and butt plug. Louis opened the package and took the cock ring out.

'Remove your underwear. NOW!' The way he was barking orders was making Harry hard. He removed his boxers and stood before Louis naked, hard and eyes down. Louis walked towards him and gently reached out and took Harry's dick in his fist, pumping him slowly. Harry hissed and closed his eyes relishing in the pleasure of Louis' touch. He moaned as Louis pumped him nice and slow.

'Not a sound,' Louis ordered. 'Your privileges have been taken away since you decided to talk back. I don't want to hear you and you don't get to make a sound. Do you understand?' Harry shuddered in his grasp and nodded. Louis squeezed the base of his dick.

'Where are your manners? I asked you a question,' Louis growled.

'Y-yes S-Sir,' Harry panted. Louis seeming somewhat satisfied, eased the cock ring down Harry's hard shaft and settled it at the base. Harry shivered.

'There,' Louis said. 'Let's give it a try shall we?' He picked up the small remote and turned it on. It vibrated deeply around Harry's base and Louis could see his cock jump from the vibrations. Harry's whole body seemed to be vibrating along with it. Harry bit down hard on his lip to refrain himself from making a sound. Louis turned it off.

'Perfect,' he said. 'Now we can begging your punishment. Go to the table and bend over at the waist, arms raised stretched out the length of the table. Do you understand?'

'Yes Sir,' Harry said weakly. He walked over to the metal table obediently and bent at the waist, his chest flush with the cold metal, arms stretched upwards towards the end of the table. Louis came up behind him holding the paddle.

'Do you remember your colors?' Louis asked him.

'Yes Sir.'

'You will use them if your punishment gets too much. Do you understand?'

'Yes Sir,' Harry replied again, his body tense and ready to brace his punishment. Louis ran his hand down Harry's bum, over the smooth pale skin, marked only by the reminder of what Louis had done to him. Louis put on the cock ring to the lowest vibrating setting and he saw Harry's back and butt muscles clench, a sigh leaving his lips.

'You will get fifteen spanks and you will count. Fail to count and you will receive an additional spank to the fifteen you already earned by being a disrespectful and rude boy. Make a sound besides your counting and you will get an additional spank for every whine, moan or whimper that leave your lips. Do you understand?'

'Yes Sir,' Harry said in a choked out voice as he gripped the edge of the table hard till his knuckles where white. His body was anticipating the spanks, the pain and his vibrating cock wasn't helping at all. He was sure he was going to slip up some way or another. Either forget to count or moan loudly. How could he keep track of counting while his dick was vibrating sending shocks of pleasure through every nerve in his body while taking pain? He didn't have much time to think before the paddle landed on his bum forcefully, momentarily knocking the breath out of him because honestly he wasn't expecting Louis to hit him so hard!

'One!' he choked out swallowing the pain and stinging on his ass. Before he had even time to recover from the first spank, Louis landed another one on his other cheek, much harder than the first that made Harry gasp in shock and grip the table harder.

'Two,' he said, his voice shaking. He tensed waiting for the next hit which came harder and made tears spring to his eyes, his lower lip trembling.

'Three,' he whispered. He wondered how he was going to take fifteen of these. He would! He told Louis he wanted pain and Louis was delivering it. Besides he had insitigated this by disobeying Louis on purpose. Another sharp smack hit his already burning bum, jostling his body up the table.

'Four,' Harry said thickly. His dick was so hard and leaking and the vibrations shooting throughout his body weren't helping at all. Every sensation felt heightened, making his senses blurry, his mind foggy. He could color code! Never.

By the time Louis reached spank number ten Harry was on tip toes and holding on to the table for dear life. He could barely whisper out the numbers, his voice hoarse and throat so thick it hurt from trying to hold in his screams and whines and moans. His dick was so hard it hurt and the mixture of pleasure and pain was threatening to pull him under.

When Louis finally delivered the last spank, Harry let out a trembling breath. His ass felt as if it was on fire. It hurt and it burned! Louis had delivered a grade A punishment!

'What do you say?' Louis asked him, voice flat and hard.

'Thank you Sir,' Harry whispered because all he could do was whisper. His throat was dry and his voice hoarse and slow. Louis touched his hot bum gently.

'You were a very good boy for me. You took your punishment very very well,' Louis praised him as he caressed his aching bum. 'Are you going to continue being a good boy for me?' Louis asked him, keeping his tone gentle.

 

'Yes Sir,' Harry said.

'Good boy. Now I'm going to open you up. Do not move from your position and I want you to spread your legs for me.' Harry shifted on the table, his clammy chest and tummy stuck to the metal surface beneath him. He spread his long legs for Louis.

'Well done,' Louis praised him. 'Now don't move. ' Harry did as he was told. He could hear Louis tottering about the room then he was back behind him.

'Now because you are being such a good boy for me I am going to give you a small reward. Would you like that?'

'Yes Sir thank you,' Harry replied.

'You may now be vocal. You have my permission to voice out all the sensations I will make you feel.'

'Thank you Sir.' Louis smiled, bent over Harry and placed a few soft kisses at the bottom of his spine. Immediately, Harry let out a soft moan and it was music to Louis' ears. He continued kissing Harry's sore ass, gently kneading the flaming hot skin. Harry made another sound which sounded more like he was in pain then in pleasure and Louis felt a pang of regret because maybe he had spanked him a little too hard? Louis didn't want to dwell on it. They both wanted this. They had both agreed on it. Without further thought, he grabbed the lube and poured some on his fingers, coating them generously. He ran his finger up and down Harry's crack getting him all wet. Harry whined and pushed his ass back.

'Patience. Be a good boy or I will punish you again,' Louis warned him. Harry stilled so Louis continued to get him wet then he pressed his middle finger against Harry's hole, loving how it always fluttered under his touch. Louis pushed, breaching Harry's tight rim and inserted his finger in one go down to the last knuckle. Harry gasped and tensed, not expecting Louis to go in all the way in one go. Louis stilled his finger because he could feel Harry tense around him.

'Relax,' Louis ordered. He felt his muscle flutter and give a little. He pulled his finger out and slammed it back in. He knew he was not being gentle with Harry but he also knew that Harry liked it and wanted it.

'Do you know why I had to punish you?' Louis asked him as he began inserting a second finger into Harry.

'Y-yes Sir,' Harry mumbled. He was feeling too much. His ass hurt. His cock vibrated non stop and now his asshole was being penetrated and not given time to adjust. Louis pushed in his second finger all the way, making Harry cry out and stand on his tip toes.

'Please,' Harry murmured.

'Please what?' Louis asked. 'Do you want to color code?'

'N-no Sir,' Harry panted just as Louis crooked his fingers inside Harry and brushed his prostate making Harry's body shiver and a moan escape his parted lips. Louis relished in playing with Harry's prostate making his boy a sputtering mess. He wasted no time in plunging in a third finger and Harry nearly screamed.

'Color?'Louis asked because his scream sounded a bit worrying.

'Greengreengreengreenoh don't stop Sir please please,' he mumbled so Louis didn't stop. He fingered Harry open always making sure to stimulate his prostate ,knowing Harry couldn't come. When Louis was satisfied, he pulled his fingers out of Harry's ass and he heard Harry sigh and grunt at the same time. Only his Harry loved to be used and manhandled! Louis wiped his hands and undressed because now he was rock hard and too many clothes on him where constricting him. When he was naked, he walked back to Harry, reached out and grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him up into a standing position. For a moment Harry choked and gasped when he felt his airway constricted but it only lasted a few seconds because the moment he was standing up right, Louis let go. Louis looked into his face, into his beautiful wrecked face. His face was flushed and red, his lips bitten and a dark pink, his eyes wet from tears and his hair sweaty, some of it plastered to his face.

'You are so beautiful,' Louis told him as he pulled him towards him by the collar the chained leash dangling between them. Harry moved accordingly and soon Louis was kissing him, their bodies flush, cocks rubbing together and Harry wanted to cry and beg Louis to fuck him into oblivion and let him come because his body felt taught and coiled and he really really needed to come but he knew better than to ask for what he wanted. Louis would give him what he needed in time,when he deemed it right. Harry trusted him. Louis broke the kiss and looked at Harry.

'I am not done with you yet,' he said and he didn't miss the disappointed look on Harry's face even though he tried to not let it show but Louis could read him like an open book. 'Sulk and I will not permit you to come. If you behave and do what I tell you without complaint, you will be allowed to come. Do you want your release?'

'Yes please Sir I do very much,' Harry was quick to say.

'Good boys are rewarded. Now I want you to go and sit at that birthing chair, feet up on the stir ups. I want you nice and open for me.' Harry nodded, turned and walked towards the chair. He got up and placed his feet on the stir ups. He felt very exposed and open but this was Louis, his own husband. Louis walked towards him and stood between his open legs, looking at every inch of Harry.

'God you are an amazing creature. Look at you all displayed for me.' Louis moved forwards between his legs and leaned in kissing Harry softly. 'I could fall to my knees and worship you,' Louis whispered against his lips and Harry, although grateful that Louis wanted to worship him, he could think of other beneficial things Louis could do while on his knees but he didn't dare voice it out to him. Louis licked into his mouth again and ran his hands up Harry's thighs all the way to his knees that were almost resting against Harry's chest. Harry moaned in his mouth hoping Louis would get the hint. Louis pulled back and gave him a wicked smirk. He moved back to the display table and brought back some nipple clamps. He dangled them in front of Harry's face.

'Color?'he asked. Harry eyes the clamps with wide glazed eyes and licked his lips.

'Green,' he said. Louis nodded and resumed his place between his spread legs. He took one of his nipples in his mouth, sucking and biting and twirling his tongue round it until it was perky and wet with his spit. Then he eased the clamp on the sensitive bud. Harry hissed and arched his back off the chair.

'Ahhhh,' he groaned and Louis knew that it hurt but that Harry was enjoying it. He gave the other nipple the same treatment and when the other clamp was in place, Louis tugged at the chain between the clamps watching Harry's nipples elongate and Harry arch his back again, his cock bubbling pre-come. Louis knew he needed it to move it along unless he wanted to come untouched just by looking at Harry spread out before him like a Sunday buffet at the Hilton. Louis tugged again and Harry cried out, his hand reaching down to grab his cock. Louis slapped it away.

'None of that,' he said sternly. Harry looked at him with tears in his eyes.

'Please,' he whined. 'Hurts.' Louis kissed his lips.

'Soon I promise. I'm going to tie you up now.' Harry looked at him with wide questioning eyes as if asking why do you want to tie my up? I've been good. Louis went to the table and brought back four leather cuffs. He buckled each of his wrists to the chair and his ankles to the stir ups rendering Harry montionless. Louis stepped back and looked at him. Harry couldn't be anymore submissive more than he was. Open, on display and tied up. Louis picked up the vibrator and lubed it. Harry eyed it. It was thick and long, thicker than Louis and he knew that that would probably split him open.

'Do you think you can take this for me?' Louis asked him. Harry gulped. His body was getting tired and he really needed to come.

'Yes Sir,' he said but he sounded uncertain.

'You can say no. I give you permission,' Louis told him but Harry did not want to disappoint Louis.

'I can take it Sir,' Harry told him with determination.

'Good boy,' Louis praised him and Harry felt a warm glow in his chest. He watched as Louis lubed it up and pressed the tip against his open hole. Harry tensed. Louis placed kisses on the inside of his thighs.

'Relax my beautiful boy. My brave boy. Relax,' he cooed as he began inserting the vibrator. Harry relaxed and took it like a pro. When it was in, stretching Harry wide open, Louis turned it on to the lowest speed and Harry's body convulsed as if electrocuted. He had vibrations on the outside of his body and inside his body and it was too much but too good and Louis was pulling at his nipple clamps and Harry was having too many sensations and he was being stimulated everywhere. He was going to float away because it hurt so good. His muscles contracted and he was shaking, filthy moans leaving his parted lips. Louis watched him as he palmed himself but he knew he wasn't going to last long and neither was Harry. And it was confirmed when Louis saw the tears falling from Harry's eyes, rolling on to his flushed cheeks and heard him whisper :

'Louis please.' With those words, Louis knew that Harry had reached his limit. He didn't have to color code because those two words told Louis all that he needed to know. He made quick work of turning off the vibrator and the cock ring, pulling them away from Harry's body gently, watching Harry's body relax.

'Baby are you with me?' Louis said softly. He was afraid that Harry would fall into subspace before he came and Louis couldn't have that.

'Yeah,' he whispered.

'Gonna make you come sweetheart. Do you want that? You have been so good for me, you deserve to come.' Harry closed his eyes, his head lolling back against the chair.

'Please Lou,' he said again. This time his voice was broken and choked up. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

'Ok darling. Can I....' he paused and looked at Harry who was wrecked. 'Can I leave you tied up?'

'Yes,' Harry groaned. Louis kissed him again and he knew that it was going to be quick now. He lubed himself up and lined up with Harry's open hole. He pushed in as gently as he could and watched Harry roll his eyes as a satisfied sigh left his lips.

'Gorgeous,' Louis said reverently as he removed a few stray curls away from his sweaty forehead. As soon as he bottomed out, he stopped for a moment to give Harry a breather. Harry couldn't move his hands or legs or even thrust up to meet Louis. He was tied down and he was just going to take it. He focused his blurry gaze on Louis and gave him a small smile.

'Fuck me,' he said and Louis felt as if he was going to come by just those two words uttered from an exhausted Harry. And Louis fucked him. Pulling out and slamming into him, eliciting cries and moans from Harry's beautiful mouth. Louis was lost inside Harry's heat, his clenching muscles around Louis' dick pulling him deeper inside him and Louis wanted to cry because this was so hot and intimate and Harry trusted him completely and blindly. Louis placed his hands over Harry's, wanting to hold a part of him and fucked hard him into the chair.

'Lou,' Harry croaked out. 'Lou I'm...I'm...please Lou.'

'Yes baby. Come for me. You can come sweetheart.' A few more thrusts and he had Harry coming like the end of days, spurting his hot come allover himself, his body trembling and shaking, lips parted, soft "uh uh uh" leaving his mouth and he was so beautiful and Louis loved him with every fiber of his being, with ever cell in his body and with every breath in his lungs.

'I love you Harry,' Louis panted and came deep inside him, stilling his body until he was empty. Harry was pliant in the chair, eyes closed, breathing a little too heavily. Louis pulled out of him gently and was quick to undo the cuffs that bound him to the chair. He raised the front part of the chair so Harry's legs were laid out straight. Louis lowered the back of the chair so that the chair now looked like a bed.

'Harry,' Louis called him softly, 'sweetheart are you with me?' But Harry seemed to be asleep and Louis knew that the over stimulation had pulled Harry down into subspace. He kissed his forehead and let him rest. He wiped himself quickly and got dressed then wiped Harry down and covered him with a soft blanket because he was shaking a little and he had goosebumps all over his skin. Louis removed his nipple clamps as gently as he could and watched his face screw up in discomfort. Louis kissed him again then went about tidying up the room. He then picked up the menu, scanned the items and placed an order : a kale, kiwi and banana smoothie, a wholemeal salmon and avocado sandwich with a side of salad for Harry and for himself he ordered a ham and cheese sandwich and tea. When everything was done,he turned his attention back to Harry. He lifted the blanket off him and began inspecting if he had done any permanent damage to Harry. His wrists and ankles where not marked. His nipples where puffy and red and swollen but they would be back to normal soon. His bum however was still very red and Louis figured that it would probably be bruised come the morning.

Harry stirred a little and Louis watched him open his eyes slowly, tiredly, his eyelashes fluttering, his green eyes searching still a little glazed until they met Louis' eyes and Harry smiled tiredly.

'Lou,' he said, his voice deeper and much slower.

'Hi baby,' Louis told him as he placed a kiss on his lips. 'How do you feel?'

'Tired,' Harry said, 'but good. So good.' Louis smiled at him fondly.

'Do you hurt anywhere baby? Have I have I hurt you too much?' Harry shook his head a little.

'No I'm fine. Just my bum. Feels like its on fire.' Louis bit his bottom lip feeling guilt spread out in his chest.

'I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have smacked you so hard.'

'Louis stop,' Harry told him. 'It was amazing. Please don't ruin it by feeling bad. Its our honeymoon and this was out of this world.' Harry tried to sit up so Louis raised the back of the chair again for him. 'I'm hungry,' he said sheepishly. Louis chuckled.

'Of course you are. I ordered you a light snack. Here have some water and a banana while you wait.' Harry drank most of the water and chewed on the banana as ordered by Louis. Louis placed another kiss on his forehead.

'As soon as we get back to the hotel I will run you a hot bath and take care of that bum for you alright, then we sleep because you look like you're ready to pass out. I'll order a taxi so when we're ready here we can go. Are you sure you enjoyed it?' Louis asked him just to make sure. Harry rolled his eyes.

'I did. I think those were the best ten thousand dollars that you have ever invested.'

'So you don't want me to revoke our membership?' Louis asked him cheekily.

'Definitley not Sir. This will be our anniversary destination.' Louis laughed and shook his head then leaned in and kissed the love of his life.

X

Leeds Prison.

Robert was in the infirmary again, sporting a black eye and a busted lip.The guard helped him sit down on the bed.

'One of these days you won't be so lucky Bob,' the guard told him giving him a disapproving glance. Robert scoffed.

'I'm being set up. People in here are being paid to beat the shit out of me or set me up so I get more fucking jail time in this shit hole.' The guard looked at him amused.

'Yes I bet someone who hasn't got a life pays people to beat the crap out of you huh,' the guard said in a mocking tone. Robert rolled his eyes.

'Not someone! Just one person. My fucking spineless son. He pays people....'

'Enough Tomlinson!' the guard said sternly. 'You need to quit repeating this story. Your son is a well respected married man who's enjoying his honeymoon not out paying people to make your miserable life even more miserable than it already is. You are pathetic. Nobody wants to listen to your sad tale anymore especially since we all know what you did to the poor boy. Now shut that pie hole and if I listen to another word about your son, I will have you put away in solitary for a month. Do you understand?' Robert rolled his eyes.

'I understand your highness,' he mocked. The guard was about to retort when Craig walked in. He threw a glance at Robert as he rummaged through his files.

'Another beating?' he asked the guard.

'He had it coming. He never stops running his mouth. Besides, child abusers are not really liked in prison.' Craig nodded but said nothing. He found what he needed to clean and stitch Robert up then turned and faced the guard.

'Step outside please. I need to take care of my patient.' The guard threw a look at Robert who in return gave him a fake smile.

'I really don't like you Tomlinson,' the guard spat at him and walked out of the infirmary, taking his place outside beside the closed door. Craig sat on the stool in front of Robert.

'What happened now?' he asked him. Robert scoffed.

'Yard brawl,' he said in a bored voice. Craig began to tend to his injuries.

'Any news?' he asked him in a low voice. Robert's face went hard.

'My dickhead son refused my offer. His lawyer said he is no longer interested in what I have to offer which means no fucking ten million, no bribing anyone for me to get the fuck out of here and get my hands on that good for nothing, lousy, spineless, cock loving son of mine. God I need to get out of here and pay him back with fucking interests.' Craig hummed but said nothing. Simply continued to clean Robert's wounds.

'Aren't you going to say anything?' Robert finally asked him. Craig looked up at him squarely.

'You really don't need to get out of here to pay him back you know unless of course you get your mind off your original plan,' Craig said calmly.

'What the fuck do you know about my original plan?' Robert growled at him. Craig sighed patiently.

'People like you always have one plan when it comes to payback Robert. You want to get out of here so you can repeatedly rape your boy and strangle him to death, dump his body and then maybe torment your wife and kids and hope to get your hands on his fortune and run away never to be caught and live happily ever after knowing that you took your son's life.' Robert seemed to be thinking.

'Hmm wasn't that clear in my head but hey you saying it out loud like that paints a pretty picture and embellished my original plan.' Craig shook his head.

'You are a fool. That plan is not paying him back. What is raping your grown up son will get you?You will get caught. And how would killing him make him pay for what he did? He won't pay! You will pay but getting life in here. There is a worse way to punish him, to make him suffer, to see the light go out in his eyes without taking his life and you can do it comfortably from behind these walls.' Robert furrowed his eyebrows at Craig, clearly not understanding but clearly definitely interested.

'Where are you going with this?' he asked him. Craig gave him a soft smile, clearly having gotten Robert where he wanted him.

'Well all you have to do is take away his happiness,' Craig said matter of factly. Robert still looked at him clueless. Craig rolled his eyes.

'God you are so thick Robert. No wonder you got caught! You know when you topple one domino how everything falls or when you have a house of cards, you pull the bottom one and it all topples down? Well, Harry is what is holding Louis' life together. Take away Harry and all of it will come falling down on Louis. Take away his happiness and what keeps him together and he will lose his mind. Once he loses his mind, everything else will fall down. He will be so consumed with grief and pain, he will have no mind for anything else. He will go back to his dark place and when his mind is lost, his company will fail because he will have no more mind to work or care for anything besides his grief and his loss. It will consume him. That is the only way to make Louis suffer and pay. He will know loss and grief and pain and what it feels like to lose your mind. Maybe if we are lucky enough, he will take his own life. Harry is the key here, not Louis. Take out Harry and Louis will pay dearly. That is how you will get your revenge. And mine!' Robert took everything that Craig said, turning the information around in his head, working with ideas and thoughts and plans. Finally he smiled, a crooked smirk full of evil.

'I know a sniper. He was in the army with me. Never missed a target and I happen to know the person that can get him the message. And h ewill do it for free because he owes me a favor and its time to collect. You doctor are a genius!' Craig smiled back at Robert.

'Now we're talking. What do you need me to do?'

x

Louis and Harry landed in Netaji Subhash Chandra International Airport in Kolkata at mid day. The airport was crowded and on the plane they were told that Kolkata was hot! Harry had been very fidgety on the plane because he was so excited for India. He told Louis that he wanted to ride an elephant and see the temples and markets and the Taj Mahal and he wanted to try the different foods and take lots of photos. He named a few islands he wanted to visit and beaches he wanted to swim at but Louis put his foot down when Harry mentioned bunjee jumping. Harry begged but Louis said no! And continued to say no even to Harry's puppy eyes, pouts and promises of sex that included bondage and various sex toys! Louis did not budge. No way was he going to allow Harry to put his life in danger by jumping off some damn bridge tied only to a cord! No way. So finally, Harry pouted harder, folded his rams across his chest and pretended to be mad at Louis but gave in asking.

Louis had contacted their hotel in Kolkata and had asked if they could supply them with a guide. India was big and he wanted the best experience the place had to offer for Harry. So as they made their way through the crowds to where the Exit sign was glowing green, they saw a woman wearing a red and gold Saree, holding a card that read "Tomlinson".

'There's our guide,' Louis told Harry as he pointed to the woman. 'Hi,' Louis told her. 'We are the Tomlinsons.' The woman smiled at them brightly and held out her hand to them.

'Hello.I am Shreya Gain and I will be your guide throughout your holiday. I have prepared a schedule for you based on what I was told that you desired to see around my country. If you please come this way, I have a chauffeured car that will take you to your hotel. Go over the schedule and if you would like to change anything or add anything that I might have missed out, please feel free to call me. My number is at the back of the schedule. Please, come this way.' Harry gave her his dimpled smile.

'Thank you so much. I am looking forward to visiting as much as we can of India. Oh and please cross out bunjee jumping,' Harry said, giving Louis a stern (but failing) look . 'My husband is not adventerous.' Shreya giggled. Louis rolled his eyes.

'I really don't want him to end up resembling a smashed tomato at the bottom of some ravine. I promised him we would grow old together and I intend to keep my promise no bunjee jumping. I'll have you know Harry that I take my marriage vows very seriously.' Harry huffed and pouted again. Shreya laughed.

'Migh tI offer my congratulations on your wedding. And I understand your concerns about wanting to keep your husband safe Mr. Tomlinson, but bunjee jumping is quite safe if I might say so.' Harry smiled.

'Ha! See? I told you! I knew it was safe!' Louis rolled his eyes again.

'I said yes to the elephant ride did I not? Wait..... Ms. Gain are elephants safe? I mean it won't like rear and throw him off will it?' Shreya and Harry looked at each other and both laughed.

'First of all please call me Shreya and rest assured Mr. Tomlinson that elephants are safe, very kind, very patient animals so your husband will be perfectly safe.'

'There!' Harry told him, sticking his tongue out at him. 'I hope you will relax now!'

'Still no to the bunjee jumping,' Louis retorted. Harry shook his head at his husband.

'God I hate you.' Louis smirked.

'Yes hate me for saving your life why don't you?' Harry scowled at him.

'How have you even saved my life when I have not tried bunjee jumping yet?' Harry asked him.

'We'll never know cos you're not trying champ. Now, let's follow the nice lady who is patiently waiting for us and looking highly amused at me while I'm busy keeping you safe and out of harm's way.' Harry rolled his eyes and turned to Shreya.

'Please forgive my husband. He's a tad over protective.' Shreya smiled at him.

'Don't worry Mr .Tomlinson,' she said addressing Harry.

'Please call me Harry. Just Harry.'

'Alright Harry. Shall we go to your hotel then? I can take you to a very lovely market if you are not too tired from the flight. Its not too far from here then I can take you to a nice place for lunch if you wish to try some local cuisine.' Harry smiled big.

'Thank you Shreya that would be wonderful. We are not tired. We'd love to go don't we love?' Harry asked Louis.

'Whatever you wish Harry, just not bunjee jumping!'

x

Their week in India passed by blissfully, spending long hot days exploring the people and culture of India with the help of Shreya. Harry engaged in some water sports much to Louis' chagrin and constant complaints of "you are going to break your wedding vows to me by dying" which only made Harry laugh and kiss the worry away from his husband. They spent a few romantic nights in the city, just walking around or riding a horse drawn carriage seeing the city sights by night. Harry had passed on the elephant ride when he had seen how tired and exhausted the animals look. Shreya had explained that they were trying to ban elephant rides so Harry had declined. However, Shreya seeing that Harry had a special love for elephants took them to a beach with crystal turqouise water where elephants swam and Harry had a field day, swimming with the big animals, petting them, placing kisses on their trunks and even had a baby elephant fill its trunk with water and spray Harry with a torrent of water. Harry fell back into the shallow water on his ass. Harry had laughed so hard and hugged the animal.

Harry had been fascinated when they Shreya had taken them on a tour of the Taj Mahal, an ivory- white marble mausoleum situated on the bank of the Yamuna River. Harry enjoyed listening to the story of how the Mughal Emperor commissioned the "Crown of The Palaces" to house the tomb of his favorite wife, a Persian Princess called Mumatz Mahal who died while giving birth to their fourteenth child. Harry was enamoured by this temple of love which was one of the seventh wonders of the world. Louis was just enamoured by his husband who viewd everything with the wide hopeful eyes of an utter helpless romantic. Louis was lost in thought as to whether he should build Harry his own Taj Mahal as he watched his husband take photos of everything!

After India, they headed out to Rio de Janiero for their last week of their honeymoon. They stayed in a luxurious hotel at the Copacabana Beach, a big and beautiful stretch of sand and blue water. There was so much to do and see in this beautiful city. They also had a guide here, Pedro, a lovely young local man who was eager to show them his city. Perdo took them to Pedra do Sal, the birthplace of samba with live bands and night street parties, he took them to Christ the Redeemer,a ninety eight feet tall figure, standing on Mount Corcovado with a bird's eye view of the sprawling city below and other historical and tourist attractions. In the evenings they visited jazz bars where they drank Brazilian beer, danced in the streets and made love in the early mornings after they got back tipsy and sun burnt. They watched sunsets and sunrises together, loving each other, Louis breathing in and Harry breathing out, touching and holding close.

Eventually the day dawned and they boarded a jet from Rio de Janeiro Galeao International airport for an eleven hour fifteen minute flight back home to London. They were both silent as they settled on the jet and the crew served them drinks and food. Neither of them really wanted to get back to their normal lives. They wanted to continue touring the world but life wasn't a constant holiday! They had obligations to go back to, jobs and family. Harry cuddled close to Louis on the couch.

'We'll be home soon,' Harry said with a heavy sigh. Louis rubbed his arm up and down.

'Yes and we can start living our married life,' Louis told him as he placed a kiss on the top of his head.

'When are you going back to work?' Harry asked him as he played with the buttons on Louis' shirt. Louis shrugged.

'I'll go back maybe in two days' time. I'm not ready to leave you yet. I'm not ready to leave our honeymoon just yet.'

'Hmm same,' Harry said. 'I want to keep you all to myself all time.' Louis smiled. He knew Harry was pouting.

'You will get tired of me tottering around you all the time,' Louis pointed out.

'Never,' Harry whispered. 'I could never get tired of you.' Louis placed another kiss on the top of his head.

'I know sweetheart. What are you planning on doing since you don't have to go to Uni anymore now?' Harry tilted his face up towards Louis with a pensive expression on his face.

'I'm not sure yet. I haven't been giving it much thought to be honest. I've been so lost in you.' Louis felt his insides melt. Would he ever stop falling for his husband? He doubted he ever would.

'You don't need to rush love. Take your time yeah.' Harry cuddled closer, hugging Louis tightly round the middle.

'Maybe I'll be stay at home husband for a while. Take care of the house, prepare your dinner, you know, be all sexy for you when you come back from work.' Louis chuckled.

'Depends though,' Louis told him thoughtfully.

'On what?' Harry asked him clearly amused with where the idea was going.

'Will you be cooking my dinner in just an apron and nothing else?'

'Anything you want husband,' Harry cooed.

'Then I will look forward to coming home to you every evening sweetheart.'

x

On the third day after their return from their honeymoon, sadly and reluctantly, Louis withdrew himself from the warmth of his husband's naked body and their post sex in the morning bliss to have a shower and get ready for work. Harry didn't know why but he felt close to tears. He lay in bed on his back, and tried to calm himself down. Louis was only going to the office for fucks sake, for only six hours what the fuck was wrong with him getting all emotional about it?

He heard the shower turn on in their bathroom and without hesitation he sprang out of bed and headed to the bathroom, not wanting to waste any time away from Louis if necessary. Louis was about to step into the shower when Harry walked in, a frown on his face. Louis smiled at him. He knew how Harry was feeling knowing that he was going back to work today. He had been extra needy and clingy last night. He needed lots of cuddles and kisses and had let Louis make love to him nice and slow. And this morning, Harry had woken him up by rubbing his hard on against Louis' thigh, kissing his neck and whining in Louis'ear and Louis had loved him then cuddled him until it was time to get a move on.

'Hello sweetheart are you alright?' Louis asked him when he saw the pout on Harry's face. Harry threw his arms around Louis' neck and pressed his naked body into him.

'I'm already missing you,' he whined in his neck and Louis laughed, his chest rumbling against Harry's.

'I will be back soon sweetheart. I promised I will only work six hours not more. I will be back by four and we will have the evening ahead of us. I will be here with you darling. Besides you are free to crash my workplace anytime you like. And call me. And text me. We can even Facetime if you miss me that much.' Harry placed kisses on his neck.

'I know. I just miss your presence, your body, your soul, your essence,' Harry mumbled and Louis laughed again.

'I will miss all of that too but we have forever my darling. Its just hard until we get back into routine yeah. Now come on let's shower. I don't want to be late on my first day back at work.'

After their shower, they went down for breakfast together, Louis dressed in a sharp dark grey Versace suit, white shirt and blue tie, Harry in grey sweats, a pink and green woolly jumper that was a little too big on him and pink fluffy socks. They walked into the kitchen hand in hand. Judy smiled at them.

'Good morning,' she told them as she handed Louis his coffee and Harry his tea with lots of milk in his new mug that he got from India displaying the Taj Mahal on it.

'Good morning,' they both said and sat at the kitchen island close to each other. Louis grabbed the newspaper and opened it to the business section. Harry watched him as he sipped his tea. Leonard came in with a pile of mail.

'Good morning Sir,' he told Louis as he handed him the pile. 'Harry,' he said, addressing with a smile. Harry returned the smile.

'Good morning Leonard.' Harry had insisted that they call him Harry even now that he was Mr. Tomlinson. Leonard looked at Harry.

'The workers are coming in today to take measurements for the greenhouse,' he informed him.

'Oh that's wonderful thank you Leonard. What time?'

'Around lunch time.' Judy came in and placed two plates in front of them and a mug of coffee for Leonard. Harry took a bite out of his pancakes.

'Hmmm these are exceptionally good Judy,' he complimented her. Judy gave him a smile and returned to her work. Harry swallowed his mouthful. 'Lou can I talk to you bout something?' Harry asked him. Louis nodded, folded his paper and started on his breakfast, giving Harry his utmost attention.

'Sure love what is it?' Harry took a sip of tea.

'Well you know how I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet? Well I kinda know now.' Louis looked at him with a smile.

'Really? What do you want to do?'

'I want to start working on my first novel.'

'Oh Harry that's amazing. I'm so happy.'

'However, I need a place to write and I don't have that. Do you mind if I convert the attic into my writing space? I mean, its detached from the rest of the house, its quiet and I love those slanted windows that look out over the garden. It would be perfect.' Louis nodded.

'Yeah sure of course. What do you need?' Harry chewed on his pancakes thoughtfully.

'Well I need it carpeted and have a desk put in there, some shelves for my books, a couch, lamps, a landline, a printer and photocopier. You know those things.'

'Okay sweetheart. Leonard will help you with everything you need alright and this weekend we can go shopping for furniture and carpets and lampshades and all that you need so we can get you your writer's haven.' Harry leaned over the stool and pecked Louis' lips.

'Thank you so much Lou.'

When they were done with breakfast, Louis got up to leave. Harry walked with him to the door not wanting to leave him for a second. They stepped outside into the morning sunshine as they waited for Angus to pull the car around. Cal and Jeremy were waiting beside the door to accompany Louis to the office.

'So you have a busy day with the workers coming around,' Louis told him. 'It will keep you busy but if you need me, just call me okay. Don't hesitate. Just call.' Harry smiled fondly at his husband as he fixed his tie properly.

'Yes I will and I gave Judy the night off. I am making dinner for tonight.' Louis placed a kiss on his lips.

'Sounds good. Can't wait till I get back. I love you so much.' He leaned in and kissed him again slow and soft as Angus stopped the car. As Louis pulled back smiling form the kiss, simultaneous things happened in one go. Out of the corner of his eye, he caw Cal barrelling towards him, yelling something which Louis could not understand then Cal knocked him off his feet and sent him crashing to the hard ground away from Harry, the side of his head hitting the ground, momentarily blurring his vision from the impact, Cal's heavy body on top of him. Louis didn't know what was happening. He heard someone shout. Someone screamed. Why were they yelling and screaming? Who was yelling and screaming? He pushed Cal off of him and that's when he saw Harry lying on the ground, eyes closed, his pink and green jumper stained with red, blood on the ground beneath him spilling, the stain growing. Louis' brain couldn't fathom what he was seeing. He was sure that he had hit his head really hard. Cal was yelling orders and Jeremy was there crouched by Harry yelling into his phone and Angus and Leonard were panicking and Judy was screaming and crying but Harry was not moving and there was too much blood outside of his body....that blood should be in his body shouldn't it? Somebody was shaking him and it made his head dizzy and his vision swim out of focus.

'Sir!' Cal yelled shaking him. 'Sir he's been shot!

No! No that was not true. Shot? Who would want to shoot Harry? Why would they want to shoot Harry? He had just been kissing him. No this was some joke. But Cal yelled again.

'Sir the ambulance is on the way. Harry has been shot.' And then it sank in and Louis was on his feet and running toward's Harry's crumpled body. He gathered him in his arms getting blood all over him, took much blood on his hands and on his suit.

'Harry,' he said in a choked voice. 'Harry open your eyes Harry please,' he begged but Harry remained motionless and cold in his arms his fluffy woolly pink and green jumper sticky with blood. His face was so pale. No he couldn't die! No! Its wasn't his time yet! Louis shook him hard.

'Harry!' he screamed into still the morning. Why the fuck where the birds still chirping? His husband had been shot. 'Harry you need to get up. Come on baby please the workers are coming for your green house. Harry please please please please wake up. No! You can't do this to me Harry! No no no no no fuck no! Where's the fucking ambulance?' he screamed. 'Somebody get a fucking ambulance right now!' And then he heard it, wailing and screaming in the distance. He leaned over Harry and kissed his cold lips.

'Please don't die. Please don't die. Please don't die! You promised me forever remember? You promised me we will get old together. Please Harry you promised!' And Louis looked up at the clear blue morning sky as the tears feel out of his eyes and rolled on to his cheeks.

'Please don't take him from me. We've only just begun. Please don't take him!'

 

ARE YOU ALL OKAY? HMMM.....I HOPE SO. COMING SOON.....THE CHAPTER BEFORE LAST. DON'T MISS IT. LOVE YOU GUYS <3


	40. The Power of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys back with another chapter. thank you for all your messages and sorry to have kept you waiting but i had a bit of difficulty in writing this. I am not a crime fiction writer so it took me a while to get around the plot. I did a whole lot of research about the whole lot so I hope its decent :) Anyway thank you so much for reading it and thank you for your comments. I try to reply to all of you so forgive me if I take a little while to get back to you. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and that its good (I have my doubts) Let me know. All the love, M

The Power of Love.

 

Louis cradled Harry's limp body in his arms, hugging him to his chest, Harry's warm blood seeping into his suit jacket and shirt. Louis could feel it warm and sticky against his skin. Harry was getting colder and Louis rubbed his back frantically to try and keep him warm and not let the heat seep out of him. The ambulance wailed closer and closer.

'Harry please,' Louis whispered in his hair, 'please baby don't leave me. You can't leave me. We've only just begun sweetheart. We have so many plans remember. Please Harry open your eyes for me can you do that my love?' But Harry remained limp in his arms bleeding all over him. The screaming ambulance screeched to a halt in the driveway right in front of their front door where Louis was rocking Harry back and forth, talking to him and trying to keep him warm. A doctor and two paramedics jumped out of the ambulance and rushed towards them.

'Sir, I am Dr. Gabriel Harrison I need you to let go of the patient. ' Louis looked at him with wild eyes and clutched Harry tighter to his chest.

'Don't touch him!' he snapped at him.

'Ok. I am going to reach out and check for a pulse,' the doctor told him and immediately reached out his hand and placed it at Harry's neck. He felt around for what seemed like a minute, Louis, Cal, Jeremy, Judy, Angus and Leonard holding their breath.

'Found it!' Gabriel told them. 'But its very weak. He's lost a lot of blood. You need to let us take care of him now Sir if you want him to live.' Louis was about to protest again when Cal and Jeremy intervened. They nodded to the doctor and he nodded back. They each placed a hand under Louis' armpits and hauled him away from Harry, the doctor and medics catching Harry the moment he was free from Louis' hold.

Louis struggled in their hold, trying to free himself to get back to Harry. He watched them through blurry eyes full of tears as they ripped apart his soft woolly Chanel jumper! Harry was going to be so upset. He loved that jumper and they just ripped it apart. He would sue their ass for destroying Harry's favorite Chanel jumper!

Two police cars screeched to a halt just inside the gates leading up to the house. Policemen filed out of the cars and immediately began interrogating the security on duty. Some of them rushed up to the house and were met with the grizzly scene before them : blood everywhere, people crying and a limp figure covered in blood on the ground while doctors worked on him. Louis was focused on Harry, at the blood oozing out of the wound in his chest to care about anything else going on around him. The doctor and medics were talking among themselves, calling out orders, doing things to his husband who lay there in his own warm precious blood that was leaving his body. Louis collapsed in Jeremy's and Cal's arms when the doctor yelled :

'He's crashing! I'm losing him!' He felt his heart stop as he watched the medics place the metal pallets to Harry's delicate chest and try to shock his heart back to beat.

'Two hundred!' the doctor yelled.

'Clear!' yelled another as Harry's body lifted off the ground at the intensity of electric shock running to his body. The doctor checked for a pulse.

'Nothing. Two fifty!' he yelled again and again Harry was shocked.

'You're hurting him!' Louis screamed. 'You're hurting my baby!' His voice was hoarse and choked from tears. Judy got down beside him and hugged him to her, holding him as he watched them trying to revive his husband.

'They are trying to save him,' she told him but Louis tried to free himself from the hold Cal and Jeremy had on him.

'He's....he's hurting Harry,' he choked out as fresh new tears fell from his eyes as he watched them do chest compressions on him while another pumped oxygen into Harry.

'I've got a pulse!' the doctor yelled suddenly. 'We need to intubate him now and get him to the hospital ASAP.'

'He's alive,' Judy whispered to him through her tears. 'He's alive. They got him back.' Louis sagged against her as he watched them intubate Harry and pump more oxygen into his lungs. The doctor turned to Louis.

'We are taking him now. We can't wait. He's in a very critical condition and he needs surgery right away,' the doctor told him as the medics strapped Harry to a gurney and hauled him into the ambulance.

'I need to go with him. He needs me,' he said struggling to free himself.

'Your security will drive you to the hospital. We need to go now if we are to save his life.' And before Louis could protest the doctor was up in the ambulance, siren blaring and speeding down the drive way. Cal and Jeremy helped him up just as the police approached them.

'Mr. Tomlinson I am Officer Collins.....'

'Get the fuck out of my way. I have to get to my husband,' Louis growled pushing past the officers and towards the SUV that Cal and Jeremy used. 'Get me to the hospital. Now!'

'Sir we need to ask you some questions. Your house is a crime scene.....' Collins said again but Louis turned on him like a rapid dog foaming at the mouth.

'My husband has been shot and he's dying. He's already died once in front of my very eyes and I will not let you or anyone keep me from him. Now get the fuck away from me.' Louis got into the SUV. Cal looked at the officer.

'Come to the hospital please. We will answer your questions there.' The officer looked past Cal to Louis who was getting into the SUV.

'I could have you arrested for obstructing.....' Another officer looked at Cal.

'We'll meet you at the hospital. Take him.' Then he turned to Collins. 'Its not the time or place. His husband's just been shot right in front of him and it doesn't look like he's going to make it. He's devastated and doesn't know what he's doing. Let him be with his husband for the little time he has left. Ease up a little.' He turned back to Cal. 'I have to cordoned off the house. Its a crime scene. No one leaves and no one comes in until we examine everything and question everyone.' Cal nodded.

'Do what you must but I have to go.' He got into the car and sped off with screeching tires after the ambulance.

X

Louis was out of the car before Cal had the time to pull up the hand brake. He threw the door open, not bothering to close it after him and ran into the emergency room followed closely by Cal and Jeremy.

'Where is he?' he shouted startling the people and staff in the ER. 'Where is my husband?' He was a sight! He was covered in blood : his hands, his chin, his clothes. 'Where did they take him?' He was becoming frantic. A nurse approached him.

'Sir I need you to calm down,' he told Louis.

'Don't tell me to fucking calm down. Not when my husband could be....He could be....where is he?' His voice was near screaming.

'If you don't calm down and tell me who you are looking for I can't help you,' the nurse told him patiently. 'My name is Bradley. Who are you looking for?' Louis ran a hand through his hair not caring that he was smearing blood even though it was now drying. He looked down at his hands! That was Harry's blood! His lover's blood! His best friend's blood! His baby's blood. The hands that were supposed to care for him, love him, protect him and keep him safe where covered in HIS blood. He had promised to keep him safe and protected! And now he was....he was....He looked up at Bradley with tears in his eyes.

'They b-brought him here. He-he was s-shot,' Louis choked out. Recognition passed over Bradley's face.

'Oh yes our shooting victim. Please, come sit down. I will explain everything. You are?' Louis gulped thickly.

'I'm Louis. Tomlinson. His husband.' Cal and Jeremy were beside him just as the police arrived. They hurried over to Louis.

'Sir we need to ask you a few questions,' Collins began. Bradley looked at the officer.

'Not now. He's in shock. We need to treat him so please take a seat in the waiting area and wait until he is able to talk to you. We need to update him on his husband's condition.' Bradley turned to Cal. 'And you are?'

'I'm Cal and this is Jeremy. We are his security detail.' Bradley nodded.

'Make sure the police do not haress him right now and he needs a change of clothes.' Cal shook his head.

'I'm afraid we can't get into the house right now. Its a crime scene. His...um Harry, he was um shot at the house,' Cal told him in a shaky voice. He was agitated and shocked just like Jeremy was and Judy and Leonard and Angus. They had witnessed it all. They saw Harry go down. Cal shook his head as if trying to dispell the horrible images from his head. Bradley nodded again and looked at Louis who was shaking hard.

'Come with me Louis. Let's take care of you first,' he told him kindly. Bradley was over six feet tall, a muscular black guy with a goatee and corn rows. He touched Louis with gentle hands.

'I need to know about Harry,' he said in a pleading voice.

'I will go and inquire what's going on but you need to come with me. You're in shock.' Louis nodded and allowed Bradley to lead him into an empty visitation room. Louis sat down on the examination table and looked at his hands again.

'He-he bled out on me,' he choked out. 'There was so much of his blood. Everywhere. I.....He....oh my God,' he choked around a sob. Bradley eyed the amount of blood covering Louis and he doubted his husband would survive this amount of blood loss.

'He's in good hands. Do you have any family to call?' Louis' head snapped up, his eyes wide and horrified.

'Oh God, I need to call his father before he hears it on the news. Oh God.' He fished out his phone, his hands shaking so bad that he couldn't dial Des' number. Bradley placed his hands over Louis'.

'Let me take care of you first.' Louis shook his head.

'No I need to call his dad. He needs to be here as soon as possible just in case Harry.....' he let it go not able to finish his sentence, not wanting to even think of the possibility that Harry would not make it. Louis swallowed round the lump in his throat and finally hit dial on Des' number. He waited, holding his breath. In the next few seconds he was going to ruin this man with terrible news.

'Louis!' Des replied cheerfully. 'To what do I owe the pleasure this morning?' Louis closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

'Des,' he whispered.

'Louis? What's wrong?' he asked his voice already tinged with worry. Louis swallowed the tears.

'Des it's....it's Harry. He...he's...he's been shot!' The line went silent but he could still hear Des breathing hard and heavy. What if he caused him another stroke? 'Des?' Louis called out softly.

'Is he.....is he?' He couldn't bring the word out and Louis couldn't think it.

'I don't know. I'm at the hospital. They rushed him in. I don't know anything.' He heard Des let out a choked sob.

'My son,' he said in a broken voice. 'Who would do this to him? Why? Oh my God my son, my boy.' The pain in Des' voice would have driven Louis to his knees had he not been sitting down.

'I'll send my jet Des. You should be here. I don't know anything yet but you should be here. I'll make arrangements. Be ready. I'll call if they tell me anything about him.' Des was crying.

'My beautiful boy oh God.'

'Be ready to depart Des.' Louis hung up and hung his head. Bradley cleared his throat.

'I got you some clean scrubs to change those clothes until someone can get you some clean clothes. I'll put your clothes in a bag. The police might need them.' Louis nodded as if he was on auto pilot. Bradley brought some surgical wipes and wiped Louis down the best he could, removing most of the blood. Then he treated Louis for his shock.

A few minutes later, Louis sat in the waiting area dressed in dark blue scrubs and a cup of coffee in his hands. Bradley had gone in to see if he could get any news for Louis regarding Harry. Cal and Jeremy sat with him.

'Cal,' Louis said quietly. 'Why did you protect me and not him? How did you even know about the shot? Don't you know he's priority?' Louis asked him his voice getting a little loud. 'Harry is priority. You should've saved him not me!!! He comes before me don't you understand that? What good is it saving me and he's in there?' Cal could understand his boss' reaction and he was expecting it.

'Sir, I...I didn't know. I just, I saw the glare of the lens. The sun shone on it for a second and given my past experiences, I knew it was a rifle of some sort. My first instinct was to get to you. Jeremy was with Harry so I assumed he was safe but Jeremy didn't know what was happening and he didn't catch him in time. We are so sorry this happened Sir but I was doing my job as your security. It is my job to protect YOU!' Louis was up and in his face in a flash.

'You fucking protect Harry before me! Before me! He is what's important!' Cal did not flinch. He looked at Louis and he could understand his boss' anger. Cal cleared his throat.

'Sir, if I had done that and you were in there now, Harry would be in the same situation you are now in telling me the same thing. We tried to protect you both. We did not know what was happening. I acted on my first instinct. I am sorry Harry got shot and I wish I could've prevented it.' Louis seemed to deflate at his words. He sat down heavily in the chair and rubbed his face with both his hands.

'I need Leonard. I need him to get the jet ready for Des,' he said quietly.

'Don't worry Sir I will take care of everything,' Cal reassured him. 'Sir you might want to call your mother. As soon as word gets out it will hit the news. Also, the police are waiting to talk to you.' Louis nodded but said nothing. He just wanted to know how Harry was doing and to see him and be with him. He didn't want to talk to the police but he had to if they wanted to catch whoever did this to Harry and find out why he had been shot.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Lottie. She picked up after the second ring.

'Good morning big brother how is married life treating you?' Lottie greeted him. He took in a deep shaky breath trying hard not to cry.

'Lottie,' he whispered, 'I'm at the hospital.'

'Louis what's wrong? Are you alright?' A sob escaped Louis' lips.

'No I'm not. Someone shot Harry. He's bad Lottie so so bad. I need you here please I can't do this on my own. Please.'

'Oh my God Louis. Oh my God,' she said her voice full of tears. 'I will be there right away. Hang in there.' She hung up and Louis covered his face. Just then he heard an alarm go off and someone yelling "code red code red" and he saw nurses running with a crash cart and his heart lurched painfully in his chest. He looked at them running and prayed that it wasn't Harry. Bradley rushed over to him and Louis stood up on shakey legs, looking at him with hopeful eyes. Bradley gave him a sympathetic look.

'He flatlined but they are doing everything they can for him.' Louis' legs gave out and he fell to the floor. Bradley held him. 'His injuries are very severe but Dr. Brodie Evans has him. She's the best. They will take care of him.' Louis' vision swam and he lost consciousness.

When he came round he was lying down, his memories momentarily groggy and unfocused and then he remembered. Harry and been shot and had flatlined. He sat up quickly, his head swimming. He swung his legs off the bed and when they hit the sterile tiles, they buckled under his weight. Bradley caught him.

'Easy. You passed out.....'

'How is he? Is he ? Did he? Oh my God please tell me please tell me he's not....'

'He's alive. Barely but he's alive.' Louis struggled in his grip.

'I need to see him. Please let me see him. He needs me.' Bradley steadied him and sat him down in a chair.

'What he needs right now is Dr. Evans to save his life. And you need to take it easy.' Louis glared at him.

'My husband is in there fighting for his life. I don't get to take it easy. If I lose him.....' His gaze softened and his eyes filled with tears. 'I can't lose him. We just got married! He's everything. He's what makes up my life and holds it together. I don't know what will happen to me if he....Oh God.' Louis covered his face not really caring that he was breaking down in front of a stranger. Bradley squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

'They are doing the best for him. Maybe you should go back in the waiting room. There are people for you.' Louis nodded and wiped his face. He stood up.

'Are you steady?' Bradley asked him. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled.

'No I'm not. But I have to be.' He walked past Bradley and out into the waiting room. Immediately Lottie was on him hugging him tightly and he buried his face in her neck.

'He was shot,' he told her brokenly. 'He died twice. I can't lose him. I can't lose him Lott. I'll die.... if he dies,' he sobbed. Lottie held him tighter as she cried softly.

'Shh Shh he won't die. He is strong. He'll get through this.' Louis let out a strangled sob followed by a hiccup.

'There was so much blood. So much. My baby. My baby. My baby.' Lottie rocked him gently and led him to sit down, still holding him.

'Our brother and sisters are on the way. I called them but you need to call mum Louis. She needs to know.' Louis nodded and wiped his face. He took out his phone but as he was about to dial, a doctor in blue scrubs much like his own walked towards him.

'Mr. Tomlinson,' she said. Louis looked up at her and stood up. 'I am Dr. Brodie Evans,' she said extending her hand to him which Louis took and shook.

'How is he?' he asked her softly. Fear was eating him up inside. Dr. Evans sighed.

'He's alive. We revived him because he flatlined. Took us seven minutes to bring him back. Mr. Tomlinson, your husband's injuries are very severe. From what I have seen he has been shot with a shrapnel bullet. His chest is littered with iron fragments. We are going to do a scan to see the internal damage. I will let you know as soon as I see the scans.' She turned to leave.

'Doctor,' Louis said softly, his voice broken. 'Please don't let him die.' Dr. Evans gave him a sympathetic nod.

'I will do everything in my power Mr. Tomlinson.' She turned and left. Louis sighed and sat back down. Lottie sat next to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

'He's still alive,' she whispered. 'He will make it.' Louis looked vacantly ahead.

'Didn't you hear her? He was shot by a shrapnel bullet that was aimed for me and he took it because Cal saved me and nobody bothered to watch him.'

'Louis don't do this to yourself. You don't know if that bullet was meant for you. We don't know anything which is why while we wait you should call mum and talk to the police. They need to catch whoever did this and they need your help.' Louis nodded. He took out his phone and called his mother.

X

An hour later, the private waiting room that they had been transferred to was full. Louis' mum was there with Maggie and Hugh, Des, Marge and her kids. Lottie, Felicitie, Phoebe, Daisy, Ernest, Doris, Liam and Zayn, Shawn and Niall. Walter and Gloria. Ed and Marc where flying in from L.A as soon as they could. Louis hadn't as yet spoken to the police. He wanted to wait for Dr. Evans first to see how Harry was doing. He didn't have the mind to rehash what had happened and answer questions he had no answers to. His household and security had already spoken to the police and gave their statements. Everyone was in a state of shock, not quite believing that Harry had been shot and was fighting for his life.

'The door opened and Dr. Evans walked in. All eyes in the room went on her. Louis was out of his seat in a flash.

'How is he?' he asked her, his voice laced with hope but the look on the doctor's face blew his hope to ashes.

'I've seen the scans Mr. Tomlinson and they are not good. The top part of his left lung has to be removed. It's beyond repair. It got the most of the metal embedded there and we cannot save it.' Louis blanched. Sniffles and murmurs could be heard around the room.

'But can he live....'

'People have led normal lives with one lung Mr. Tomlinson. However we have more urgent and pressing matters. Some shards are embedded very close to his heart which could be fatal. I believe that when he was revived twice with the shocks, the shards moved closer to his heart. If he flatlines again, we might revive him but the shards will kill him.'

'No,' Louis whispered. 'No no no no no!' Lottie and Felicite were beside him in a flash holding him. Des was crying in Marge's arms.

'We cannot have him moved so we are going to induce a come to have him stay still until....'

'Until what?' Louis snapped. 'You are going to put him in a coma until a miracle happens?' Dr. Evans gave him a sympathetic smile.

'Yes. That miracle happens to have a name. She is called Dr. Cristina Yang. She is the best cardiothoracic surgeon in Europe. I have already contacted her however she can arrive here in two day's time. She has two heart transplants she cannot slip out of so that is why I have decided to put Harry in a coma. Hopefully his body will fight a little longer until she gets here and we take him to surgery. For the moment that is all I can do. I am hoping we will have no complications and no internal bleeding. There is none that we have seen but in a trauma this severe one can never tell. I am sorry. I wish I had better news to give you but we have to wait.' Louis looked at her with pleading eyes.

'What if he doesn't have two days?' he whispered. Dr. Evans gave him a small smile.

'Let's hope he has and that he hangs on.' She turned to go.

'Wait,' Louis called out. 'Can I see him? Please I want to sit with him. I want to wait with him. I just want to be with him as much as I can should he....not make it.' Dr. Evans nodded.

'Yes but only you as you are his husband.' The moment she walked out of the room, Louis felt as if his whole world was crashing around him. How was this even happening? Harry should be at home with the workers setting up his greenhouse and he should be at the office looking forward to dinner and a cozy evening with his husband. Instead....instead Harry was to be put in a coma because his vital organs had metal shrapnel in them that could kill him in a second. He sat down in a chair and covered his face. He could hear everyone in the room crying silently. He wished he could be strong for them but he couldn't. He wasn't strong. He had no strength left in him what so ever and if Harry died.....

As he was about to get up to follow the doctor, Cal informed him that the police needed a statement and to ask him some questions. He nodded and allowed them in.

'Mr. Tomlinson, I am officer Jacobson and this is my partner Collins. We won't take up much of your time. We are deeply sorry for your husband.' Louis nodded.

'What do you need?' he asked. His family and friends surrounded him, keeping as close to him as they could.

'We need your account of what happened this morning,' Jacobson asked him. Louis sighed. He didn't want to remember.

'We woke up. Showered. Had breakfast. Made plans for the day. I was leaving and Harry came to see me off. As we said goodbye....I don't know....Cal pushed me out of the way and next thing I know Harry was....he was....' he choked on his words, swallowing his sobs.

'Do you know anyone who might want to hurt your husband?' Collins asked him. Who would want to hurt Harry? Everyone loved Harry.

'No,' Louis said softly.

'Anyone want to hurt you?' Collins asked. Louis scoffed.

'Who knows? My father is the main person who would like to hurt me but he's in prison.' Collins scribbled.

'Has he tired to hurt you before?' Jacobson asked. 'Any threats? Has he threatened Harry?' Louis shook his head and chuckled humourlessly.

'He has hurt me all my life. He had people watching us before. He did threaten Harry when I went to visit him a while back but we had that sorted with the polie and the warden.'

'We will check it out regardless,' Jacobson told him.

'Is that all?' Louis asked them. 'I would like to go spend my time with my husband.'

'Of course Mr. Tomlinson. We'll keep in touch.' The officers left and Louis stood up. All eyes were on him. Johanna reached out to him.

'Do you think....'

'I don't know mum. He doesn't have the means to contact anyone on the outside so I don't know.' Walter interjected.

'He's had all visits revoked. There has been no one in contact with him. The Warden keeps a close watch on him. He changes his guards regularly. He is mostly in solitary so he hasn't had contact with anyone that we know of.' Des looked at Louis with teary eyes.

'Why would your father want to hurt my son?' he asked. Louis looked at him and Des looked grief stricken.

'Des that shot was probably meant for me,' Louis told him. 'Cal pushed me out of the way and Harry...I'm so sorry.' Des stood up and hugged Louis.

'It's not your fault. If that bullet had hit you, we would have been here regardless. We are all family. We are in this together and we will get through it together no matter the outcome. And if my son doesn't make it....'

'Des stop,' Louis begged him. 'Don't say that. Please. I can't even imagine a life without him. I have to go be with him. I will come and give you news as soon as I can.' Louis walked outside the waiting room into the quiet hallway. Cal accosted him before he walked towards the nurses station.

'Sir, Jeremy would like to have a word.' Louis clenched his teeth hard. He knew it was unfair to blame Jeremy but he was petty and angry and he did. If Jeremy had done his job properly Harry would be safe.

'I don't want him here. He's fired,' Louis growled. Cal hesitated.

'Sir, he knows someone who can help. Please let him talk to you. He is devastated.'

'And he fucking well should be!' Louis snapped at him. He let out a breath. 'Bring him in.' Cal nodded and walked to a door at the end of the corridor, opened it and motioned for Jeremy to follow him. When they approached, Jeremy did indeed look devastated. His eyes were red and puffy and his hands were shaking.

'Sir I'm so sorry...' he began but Louis cut him off.

'Tell me what you need to tell me and get the fuck out of my sight,' Louis hissed at him. Jeremy swallowed thickly and nodded.

'Sir I know somebody who is an expert in this field.'

'What field?' Louis cut him off. Cal and Jeremy exchanged a glance and Cal nodded for him to go on.

'Sir from my past experiences in the army, I believe Harry was shot by a sniper.' Louis' eyes went wide.

'A what?'

'A sniper Sir and I know this man and he will definitely find your shooter. He is an ex sniper himself. An ex military now works for the FBI. He can be here tomorrow morning if he takes a charter right now. Please Sir let me help. I failed you and because of my failure Harry is...he could...' he stopped and choked on his words, his eyes full of tears. Louis nodded.

'Call him,' he said flatly. Without another word or look at either Jeremy or Cal, he strode off towards the nurses station where Bradley was waiting for him to accompany him to ICU. 

Bradley walked with Louis down the corridor as he trudged beside him, cold and afraid. Louis never recalled ever being this afraid. He had been afraid when he was little and his father and his friends had abused him. He had been afraid when his father had threatened to kill his mother if he didn't obey. He had been afraid in juvie when the bullying got too bad but this? This was a different kind of fear. This was a fear that had no ifs to it or buts. This fear was very final because Louis knew that without Harry he wouldn't live. This fear was cold and based deep inside him. This fear came from his immense love for Harry and the thought of losing him, of not hearing him laugh again, or seeing his dimpled smile, or watch as his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled and how green they were in the sun. It's about not feeling his warm body, relaxed in his arms, his heart beating nice and strong, his breath fanning out on his face. This fear was about the knowledge that life was slipping out of Harry and despite all his wealth and power and connections, he could do nothing to preserve that life. He couldn't sue Death and win. He couldn't barter and negotiate with Death. Death always collected and Death would win always.

Louis felt faint. He stopped and leaned into the wall for support. His vision was blurry and his lungs were constricted. He couldn't breathe. He needed to breathe but he couldn't! A loud ringing in his ears made his head swim as fear clawed at his insides with sharp talons. His heart was racing and it thrummed loud in his veins. He needed to breathe!

'Louis,' Bradley called out softly to him. 'Louis its alright. You are having a panic attack. I need you to breathe slowly for me.' Louis vaguely heard Bradley. All he could think about was Harry dying and the fear increased and the pounding of his heart beat so loud in his ears. His vision swam and he went sideways.

'I got you,' Bradley told him. Louis let Bradley sit him down. He didn't know where he was but he was glad to sit down. Bradley crouched down in front of him.

'Louis breathe in deeply and calm down. I cannot allow you near Harry if you are like this. Relax and breathe. I know this is scary but you need to be strong for your husband. Can you do that?' Louis nodded because he wanted be strong for Harry but he had no strength left to give! He wanted to let go and crumble, fall into oblivion but he couldn't! He had to be strong for Harry and their families and friends. He had to. He took in a deep breath. His lungs burned and his heart raced but he took another and another until slowly he started breathing normally.

'Good,' Bradley praised him. Louis looked at him.

'I'm scared,' he whispered. Bradley got up and sat in the chair beside him.

'I know and its perfectly alright. This came as a shock and it has shifted your world throwing you in fear and uncertainty. Both your worlds have been turned upside down but Harry has the best doctors and surgeons. Dr. Yang well she's a miracle worker. Have faith. Now, do you want to go in and sit with your husband?' Bradley asked him kindly. Louis stared at the tiles beneath his feet, his palms tucked between his thighs, shoulders hunched in on himself as if he was protecting himself from further pain and fear.

'I think I am,' he said, his voice wavering with uncertainty. Was he ready to see Harry? Harry wasn't going to greet him with shiny green eyes, a dimpled smile and arms wide open ready to wrap him in one of his warm hugs that were soft and smelled like fruit. He was afraid of what he would see in there. His mind still showed him a lifeless Harry bleeding in his arms.

'Its okay to take your time,' Bradley told him gently. Louis took in a deep shuddering breath.

'What if I don't have time? What if I'm wasting the little precious time that I have with him, out here being scared and afraid?'

'It's natural to be scared,' Bradley told him. Louis kept staring at the tiles. He had to ask.

'What do I expect to see when I go in there? I need to....I need to be prepared so I won't...' he stopped and looked at Bradley hoping he got the meaning and Bradley did bless him because in his line of work he had see his fare share of people breaking over their loved ones. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'Well, he's attached to machines. He has a respirator to help him breathe since he only has only fully functional lung at the moment. He's intubated. He has a feeding tube in his nose, a catheter, he has two IV's; one to keep him hydrated and one feeding him antibiotics so an infection could be avoided. An infection right now could be fatal for him. He also has a blood bag. He's being given blood because he lost a lot and we need to replace what he lost so that he can heal.' Louis nodded and stared back at the tiles and rubbed his face with both his hands.

'Oh my God, he's gonna die isn't he?' he asked in a choked voice. Bradley sighed.

'He's alive now and that's what you should focus on. We have good doctors here and they will do their best for him.' Louis chewed on his bottom lip to stop it from quivering

'Have people with injuries like his have survived?' Louis asked him in a barely audible voice. Bradley gave him a small smile.

'I have seen miracles happen in here. I have seen people with minor injuries die and I have seen people with severe trauma that have pulled through and made a full recovery so don't give up. Miracles do happen. Come on, he's waiting for you. I will stay with you if you need me to.' Louis looked at him with teary eyes.

'I would like that. Thank you for everything you are doing for us,' he told him gratefully. Bradley got up and waited for Louis who took another moment then got up on shakey legs. He looked at the closed door in front of him. Harry was behind that door. He nodded at Bradley who walked with him and opened the door for Louis. A deep trembling started within Louis, from his very core until he was visibly shaking on the outside. He walked inside with bated breath, his eyes resting on the sole bed in the sterile room that looked harsh under the fluorescent lights. When his eyes rested on Harry, his very own husband, the breath that he had been holding was knocked out of him with such force that had not Bradley held him, he would've fallen to his knees. A sob escaped his parted lips.

Harry looked small and fragile in the too big hospital bed covered only by a thin white sheet, the skin of his bare torso looking pale and translucent under the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. He had wires, too many wires attached to his precious delicate body, a monitor beeping signalling his heartbeat, the whoosh whoosh whoosh of the respirator, the needles of the IV and blood bags stuck into his tender flesh, the tube in his mouth and the tube in his nose, the big patch of white gauze on his chest covering the wound where the bullet had entered ripping his flesh apart and internally injuring him so badly that here he was, in an induced coma so as not to risk further damage that could be fatal for the man that he loved. Louis covered his mouth as tears fell from his eyes.

'No,' he whispered brokenly, 'No no no no no. This cannot be happening. This is a nightmare. I need to wake up. No!' Bradley held him as his knees buckled.

'I got you,' Bradley reassured him. Louis kept his gaze fixed on Harry not quite believing that less than two s ago they had been having breakfast and discussing plans. He couldn't believe that just this morning, he had made love to his husband who was warm and healthy and full of life. Now he was fighting for his life in a hospital bed attached to machines.

'No,' Louis cracked out. His throat hurt. It was too swollen yet too tight and it burned. 'Harry,' he whispered,

'I'm going to sit you in a chair Louis,' Bradley informed him as he lowered him gently into a chair beside Harry's bed. Louis' eyes were wide and red and wet as he looked at his husband.

'Baby,' he whispered. 'Sweetheart. What have they done to you? Why? Why would someone do this?' Bradley handed him a handful of tissues which Louis took gratefully. He looked up at Bradley.

'C-can I touch him?' he asked softly. Bradley nodded.

'Yes just be careful to not dislodge any of his wires.' Be careful Louis repeated in his head still hesitating. He had always been careful with Harry. He had always treated him with the utmost care expect when it mattered the most. He had not been careful with Harry today. Tentatively he reached out and took his hand in his. It was limp and he had a plug attached to his middle finger and he had a needle in the palm of his hand taped to his skin with band aids. His hand was clammy but warm. Louis gently squeezed his fingers and he looked at his pale face.

Can you sincerely tell yourself that you have always been careful with him? You have never been careful with him.

Louis grit his teeth together. How dare his subconscious interfear now? He heard his subconscious snicker.

I am only here to tell you the truth. Harry has always suffered at your hands ever since he met you. You wrecked him emotionally, played with his heart and his emotions. You played with his head. You hurt him physically. He lost so much at your expense. People who hate you have hurt him because of you. They hurt him to hurt you and now he took a bullet for you. He's the one dying when you should be in that bed dying and he should be living life. You deserve to die but he doesn't. Somebody wants to kill you but he took the bullet for you. How can you live with yourself if he dies? How can you live with the remorse and guilt of his death which will be solely on your hands? It is your fault he is in that bed dying. You and yours alone so how can you say that you were always careful with him when you have been nothing but careless in his regards?

 

'No no no,' he choked out. 'I didn't mean it Harry. I didn't mean it. Baby I'm here. Can you hear me?' Louis could barely speak from the lump in his throat. Was his subconscious telling the truth? Was this all his fault? Had it all been leading up to this? Until his love for Harry actually killed him? Louis looked up at Bradley through misty eyes. 'Can he hear me?' Bradley gave him a warm smile.

'I believe people in coma always hear us when we talk to them. I believe its part of what keeps them going.' Louis looked back at Harry.

'Its all my fault he's dying,' Louis rasped. 'My love for him....it wasn't good. Never was. I....I should've let him go. I hurt him so many times but I was selfish and wanted him even though I knew how wrong I was for him and now....now he took a bullet for me.' Bradley squeezed his shoulder.

'Hey, it wasn't your fault. You cannot take blame for this.' Louis looked at him and Bradley's heart ached for this man. The pain etched on his face was too profound, too deep.

'He's an angel and I was the devil that dragged him into my hell. Now he's paying the price for it,' Louis whispered.

'He's your husband Louis. The police will figure out what happened and hopefully catch the person that did this. Please don't lose hope or blame yourself. Harry needs you right now. He needs your strength. He needs to draw life from you do you understand?' Louis lowered his head and kissed the back of Harry's hand.

'I'll be all he needs me to me. I owe him that.' Bradley nodded.

'Good. Would you like some tea?' Louis nodded so Bradley left the room. Louis was alone with Harry, the room full of sounds the machines were making that were helping Harry. He let the sound of Harry's heartbeat relax his raging heart. Louis raised Harry's hand to his lips again and placed small kisses on his skin.

'Please don't leave me Harry. There's no me without you. I will not live without you. I cannot and will not go back to a life without you. I cannot even bare to think it. You are everything sweetheart. You are the beat in my heart, the breath in my lungs, the life in my blood. You are what keeps me alive. Please baby please fight. Don't go please please oh God Harry my own darling.' Louis frantically kissed his hand and wiped his eyes at the same time. The door to the room opened slightly and Bradley poked his head in and saw Louis still sitting in the same position as he had left him. He entered the room quietly and placed the cup of tea on the table at the foot of Harry's bed. Bradley cleared his throat and Louis looked at him. Bradley placed a hospital plastic bag on the table.

'These are Harry's clothes,' he said quietly and Louis could see the green and pink Chanel jumper stained with blood and Harry's sweat pants and his fluffy socks. Louis kept his eyes on the bloody items in the bag.

'He needs socks,' he said lowly.

'Excuse me?' Bradley asked. Louis sighed.

'He needs to wear socks. His feet get very cold and he needs his fluffy socks to keep them warm,' Louis said quietly.

'I'm afraid he can't wear any clothes at the moment. He needs to be ready prepped to go into surgery as soon as Dr. Yang gets here.' Bradley paused. 'Here, you might want to hang on to this for him.' He extended his hand towards Louis and in the palm of his hand there was Harry's wedding ring. Louis' heart twisted painfully in his chest as he reached out with trembling fingers and took the wedding band.

'Can't I put it on him?' he asked softly.

'I'm sorry no. He needs to be.....'

'She's not here yet is she? Can't he wear it till she gets here then I will take it off him? Please.' Bradley sighed.

'Alright.' Louis nodded and ever so gently picked up Harry's left hand in his. As he slid the wedding ring on his finger, Louis whispered :

'For the good and the bad. For the happy and the sad. In sickness and in health till death do us part. I promised you then and I promise you now Harry.' He kissed his finger and held his hand tightly. Bradley sniffed. 

'Louis, Dr. Evans is coming in to see you,' he told him through the lump in his throat. As if on que, the door opened and Dr. Evans walked in and checked Harry's vitals then looked at Louis who was looking at her with hopeful eyes expecting her to tell him that Harry had magically healed and that he was ready to go home but the doctor's somber face deflated his hopes yet again. He didn't dare ask how he was doing!

'Mr. Tomlinson your husband is still the same. I am here to inform you that I am in constant contact with Dr. Yang in Zurich. She is trying to move her transplants operations up by a day in the hopes of getting here sooner to perform surgery on your husband. She is afraid that the metal inside your husband will cause further trauma if left too long inside of him.' She paused and gave Louis time to soak up her words. When he didn't ask anything, she continued :

'I am to send Dr. Yang frequent scans of your husband's chest so she can be up to date with the level of his trauma so when she arrives she will waste no time but get him into surgery right away. I am to send her his vital statistics every hour on the hour.' Louis nodded absently, the doctor's words barely registering in his foggy brain.

'I have some papers I need you to sign for me regarding a DNR.' Louis blinked at her. A DNR? What the hell was a DNR?

'What is that?' he asked her. Dr. Evans took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, sympathy etched on her face as she steadied herself to deliver more horrible news to this man.

'A do not resuscitate form.' Louis blinked again. Was she serious? Louis straightened up.

'Are you being serious right now?' he asked her. The doctor shifted uncomfortably. These things were never easy.

'Mr. Tomlinson, if your husband flatlines again and we try to resuscitate him, we can kill him instantly and we do not want that to happen in case you decide to sue to the hospital.' Louis scoffed.

'So let me get this straight. You want me to sign a paper telling you to let my husband die if he flatlines and giving you to go ahead to not try and save his life because you are afraid that by resuscitating him you will jostle those shards in his chest which will kill him and then I will sue you for killing my husband?' The doctor made an apologetic face.

'Basically yes. The hospital cannot be held responsible for his death.' Louis ground his teeth together so hard his jaw ached.

'I am not signing off on my husband's life. If he flatlines you will do all you can to save his life. I know the risks involved but I want to take those risks if it means saving his life.'

'Mr. Tomlinson another shock to his chest will have those shards split his heart apart.' 

'Well since he will die anyway, I'd rather he dies knowing you did all you could to save his life then me signing off a God damn form to stop you from trying.' The doctor nodded and handed him a form.

'Then please sign this which will allow us to try and resuscitate your husband if he flatlines. This paper will give us your full consent and in now way will the hospital be responsible for his death.' Louis chuckled humorlessly.

'Either way I have to sign his death.'

'I am so sorry Mr. Tomlinson but we have an obligation to protect the hospital.' Louis snatched the form from her hand and signed his name, pushing it back into her hands and not wanting to think about how either way, Harry could die. As soon as the doctor left, Louis slumped down in the chair and covered his face with both hands.

'What have I just done?' he whispered. 

'Louis, you signed a paper giving your consent to the doctors to save your husbands life if he flatlines,' Bradley told him softly. Louis looked at him and Bradley couldn't stand the pain in his eyes.

'I also signed away his life,' he said hoarsely.

'Look, its a risk you took. If they don't resuscitate him, he will die. If they do, they might bring him back. Yes there is a chance the shards will move and kill him but there is also a chance they might not. What you signed is a chance to save your husband's life against all odds and that's a brave thing you did.' Louis shook his head miserably.

'I am not brave. I am scared. And terrified. And lost. My world, our world is crashing and its out of my control. I cannot save his life. I cannot buy life for him despite all my money. No, I am not brave. I am very very scared.' Bradley didn't know what to tell him. One thing he knew with almost certainty was that this man would not survive without his husband!

 

X

 

Louis didn't know how long he had been sitting beside Harry holding his hand, talking to him about everything and listening to the constant whoosing and beeping of the machines. He wished that he could sleep but he knew that that was impossible. Dr. Evans had taken another scan of Harry's chest and sent them to Dr. Yang then had informed him that the shards remained immobile and Harry's vitals where the same. Dr. Evans had told him that that was a good thing but Louis saw no good thing; his husband was still in a coma with a tube stuck down his throat and a machine helping him to breathe because one of his lungs had been shattered. Still, he wasn't any worse. Bradley came in then with another cup of tea and informed him that the private waiting room was full of relatives and friends and that they were asking after him and Harry. Louis figured he should go and talk to them and let Des come and sit with his son for a little bit. He drank his tea and placed a kiss on Harry's forehead.

'I will be right back sweetheart. Wait for me. Don't go. Please.' Louis kissed his forehead again because he couldn't even kiss his husband's lips with the plastic tube taped to his lips. With another look at him, he walked outside the hospital room and headed towards the waiting room. As soon as he walked in, everyone looked at him and they looked just as sad and broken and distraught as he felt. His mother, his sisters and brother, Des, Marge, Liam and Zayn, Niall and Shawn, Walter and Gloria, Cal and Jeremy. 

'How is he?' they almost all said together. Louis felt like he wanted to collapse and fade into oblivion.

'He....he's the same. Vitals are the same. Dr. Evans is in constant touch with Dr. Yang in Zurich. She is sending her his vitals every hour and scans so she can see....' he paused and took in a deep shuddering breath then exhaled slowly puffing out his cheeks. 'So she can see if the shards that are threatening to be fatal are still in the same position or if they have moved but so far everything is still the same.' 

'When is she going to operate on my son?' Des asked him tearfully. 'Can't she see how urgent this is?' Louis placed a hand on his shoulder.

'She knows. She has moved up her surgeries so she can get here soon.' Louis looked at Des who was crying softly. 'Des, they wanted me to sign a do not resuscitate form. They said if he.....if Harry flatlines again they can't shock his heart because of the shards. Dr. Evans said that if they do that the shards will rip right through his heart killing him instantly but I....I did not sign it. I want him to have a chance at life. I want them to do all they can to save his life. Its true that either way he dies but at least I want them to fight for his life.' Des let out a strangled sob then engulfed Louis in a tight hug.

'You did the right thing. You gave him a chance. Its better that he dies while they try to save his life rather than just die. I'm not making any sense because how is my son dying? He shouldn't be dying Louis. He's only twenty three. He's too young. He's got his whole life ahead of him. He just got married. He should be living his best life. How is my son dying? How?' Des sobbed hard in Louis' arms and Louis couldn't help but cry with him.

'How did this even happen?' Niall asked in a tearful voice. 'Who would possibly want to hurt Harry?' Louis pulled back from Des and looked at Niall who was crying freely in Shawn's arms.

'That bullet wasn't meant for him,' Louis said quietly. 'Somebody meant to kill me and he and...and he.....'

'Took the bullet for you,' Zayn spat a little angrily.

'Zayn don't,' Liam pleaded but Zayn was looking at Louis angrily.

'You promised to protect him,' Zayn said through clenched teeth, his fingers curled into fists by his side. He was shaking. 'You promised me you would always take care of him. Make sure he's safe. You lied!' Zayn launched himself at Louis but Liam and Niall held him back. Zayn struggled in their grasp. He was crying, silent tears falling down his handsome face.

'You promised me Louis. You said no harm would come to him now he's dying. My friend....' he gulped and choked back on his tears. 'Our baby friend is dying in there because of you.' Liam caught his face between his hands.

'Hey hey Zaynie look at me sweetheart. Look at me. Its not his fault my love. Its no one's fault.' Louis remained where he was staring at Zayn. He deserved that. Zayn was right. Zayn looked at Liam, more tears falling from his eyes.

'He's dying Li. Our Harry is dying and its all his fault. He wasn't careful with him. He can't die. Harry can't die! He just can't.' Zayn collapsed, all the struggle leaving his body as he crumpled into Liam's strong arms and cried in his chest. Liam hugged him tightly and caressed his hair.

'Shh shh its alright sweetheart. Harry is strong. They will take good care of him,' Liam soothed him but it only made Zayn sob harder.

'We should have never let him....we should have never let him. It was wrong. He was wrong for Harry....We knew all along that this piece of shit was not good for Harry...we shouldn't have let him be with him,' Zayn cried and Louis knew what Zayn was saying. Louis was crying on the inside because Zayn was right. They should have never let him pursue Harry. They should've kept him away from Harry. Yes he was wrong for Harry and Zayn knew it and Zayn was right but here he was despite it all married to the love of his life that was fighting for his life. Everyone in the room was crying, Zayn sobbing, heart wrenching cries, Liam and Niall and Shawn sniffling softly, his mother, his siblings, Harry's dad and Marge, all crying for Harry.

Told you that its all your fault. Everyone blames you. Some have the balls to say it outright to your face and some just keep it to themselves but you can see it in their eyes. They all blame you for Harry's demise.

Louis swallowed his tears. He just wanted to get away from everyone and go back and sit with Harry. He couldn't stand all this pain he had caused the people that he loved. Des interrupted his thoughts.

'Can I go and see him for a little bit? Please?' Louis blinked, feeling as if he was surfacing from under water.

'Um yeah ugh sure yes go in and see him,' he told him. 'I will ask um Bradley give me a sec.' He rushed out of the room and once he was outside in the corridor he took in deep breaths because he was choking. Bradley was beside him in an instant.

'Are you alright?' he asked him. Louis nodded even though he was far from alright.

'Can Harry's father....can he see him?' Louis asked him. Bradley looked uncertain.

'Harry is not allowed visitors except you since you are his husband.'

'Please,' Louis asked. 'Harry and his father have been estranged and he....he is upset. Just five minutes.' Bradley nodded. Louis took in a deep breath steadying himself then opened the door and motioned for Des to follow Bradley. As he watched Des follow Bradley, Louis became aware of a few uniformed policemen in the corridor. Louis turned to Cal.

'Why are there police officers here?' he asked, his throat dry.

'For protection Sir. This is attempted murder. They have secured the floor.' Louis didn't want to ask why because the thoughts in his head were putting the fear of God into him. Possibly the shooter wouldn't come here to shoot him or finish Harry off would he? Cal seemed to have read his mind.

'Don't worry Sir. You and Harry are both safe. I have assembled all security detail. Downstairs is secured. The house is secured and this floor is secured. The police are trying to track down the shooter.' Louis nodded numbly. But at home they had thought that they had been safe and look what happened?

'I need to get back to Harry,' he said. 'Please make sure everyone is safe. Take everyone to the house. Keep them safe.'

'Yes Sir,' Cal replied. 'Don't worry about anything.'

 

x

For a whole day and a half Louis stayed at the hospital. He refused to leave, to eat or to sleep. He just sat beside Harry holding his hand and talking to him, playing their honeymoon playlist lowly only for Harry and himself to hear. He begged him silently not to leave him and to please get better and to fight but Harry remained limp and lost to the world. Louis watched through vacant eyes as nurses came to check his vitals, take his blood pressure, exchange his IV and blood bags and keep him as comfortable as possible. Every time Dr. Evans came in to see him and took new scans, he hoped for better answers but it was all the same : nothing had changed. Yet, Harry was still here, alive. 

Bradley had begged him to go home and get some sleep, shower and eat a healthy meal but Louis would not hear it. He had Leonard bring him an over night bag with a change of clothes and some toiletries and he showered in the bathroom in Harry's room. Bradley had taken on an extra shift to remain with Louis.

Later in the afternoon, Bradley brought Louis a cup of tea and informed him that his head of security was in the waiting room wishing to speak with him. Louis nodded and got up, kissed Harry on the forehead and walked hurriedly to the waiting room. Four police officers still lined the corridors and nodded at him as he walked past. He pushed open the door to the waiting room and entered. Cal, Jeremy and another man in a black suit and tie were in the room.

'Sir,' Cal greeted him. 'This is agent Booth from the FBI. I believe Jeremy told you about him.' Louis shot a look at Jeremy, who looked at Louis hopefully and full of regret. Louis looked at the man and extended his hand which he took and shook with a solid grip.

'Agent Seeley Booth,' he said by way of introduction.

'Louis Tomlinson. I believe you can help catch the man who shot my husband,' Louis said outright. Booth nodded.

'Jeremy informed me that your husband was shot by a sniper.' Louis shot another look at Jeremy who looked down at his shoes not wanting to see the disappointment and anger in his boss' face.

'I believe that that shot was meant for me,' Louis said. 'But my security here saved me and left my husband exposed. The doctor informed me that he was shot with a shrapnel bullet.' Louis did not miss the awed look that crossed Booth's face.

'And he's still alive?' Booth asked mystified.

'Yes. He's badly injured and in an induced coma but alive.' Booth shook his head.

'Nobody has ever survived a shrapnel bullet from a sniper. Which means either of two things.' Louis looked at him waiting for him to carry on. 'Either your husband has a guardian angel or the sniper is defected.'

'Why do you say that?' Louis asked him.

'Sir, a sniper never misses his target. A victim shot with a shrapnel bullet never survives. So I'm thinking that this sniper is ex-military and not a young sniper either. Shrapnel bullets were used back in Operation Desert Storm. He must have been with the troops in Kuwait when they attacked Iraq. So your sniper has most definitely served back in `90 and `91.' Louis looked at him confused.

'You can tell all this by just a bullet?'

'Sir I was placed in Saudi Arabia with another 500,000 US troops. It was the only time I have seen shrapnel bullets. And I have never seen anyone survive a shot with a shrapnel bullet before. So, do you know anyone who has served in the military?'

'My father,' Louis said out right. 'He was in Afghanistan for a while.'

'Do you know if your father was dispatched during Operation Desert Storm?' Louis tried to think as far back as he possibly could but he had been little at the time of Desert Storm and his mother had never talked about it neither his father. He had no idea where his father had served besides Afghanistan.

'No, I do not know. But it couldn't have been my father that ordered this hit. I know that he promised me that he would get back to me and he threatened Harry.....'

'When was this?' Agent Booth stopped him.

'A while back when I went to visit him in prison,' Louis said. Booth raised an eyebrow at him.

'Your father is in prison?' he asked surprised. Louis nodded. 'What is he in for and is he in a maximum security prison?' Louis rubbed his forehead. He really didn't want to get into why his father was behind bars with this man. Louis huffed.

'Look, he's in there for a long time with no contact to the outside world. It couldn't have been him and Harry doesn't have any enemies.' Booth hesitated for a second.

'With all due respect Sir, I need to check all avenues of inquiry. Name of your father please and what prison he is in.'

'Robert Tomlinson,' Louis said spitting the words out as if they were venomous in his mouth. 'He is in Leeds Prison.' Was it possible that his father was behind this? But how? He had all contacts cut off and he had no money to pay a sniper. Booth scribbled everything down in his notebook, asked for a few more other details then left to begin his job. Louis relaxed his shoulders, feeling deflated. Cal and Jeremy exchanged looks.

'Sir,' Cal began, 'Agent Booth is very good at his job. He will catch the shooter. Rest assured.' Louis nodded but didn't commit to say anything so he quietly walked out of the room and went back to Harry. He opened the door quietly and stepped into the room. He resumed his seat beside Harry's bed. Louis picked up his limp hand and kissed it gently.

'Hey honey an FBI agent came all the way from America to catch whoever did this to you....to us.' Louis gulped thickly as he looked at Harry's pale face. He reached out and smoothed back his curls, touching him ever so gently. 'I miss you baby. I miss your smile and your voice. I miss your beautiful eyes and your warmness. I just miss you and it hurts so bad.' He choked on a sob. 'I just want you back Harry. You....' he stopped as the door to the room opened and Dr. Evans walked in smiling at him.

'Good news Mr. Tomlinson. Dr. Yang is flying from Zurich now. She will be here in approximately an hour and a half and she will operate immediately on your husband. She has sent strict orders that we have to him him prepped and ready in the theater by the time she gets here so we need to take him up.' Louis' eyes were wide.

'Now?' he asked her. Dr. Evans smiled at him.

'Now. I'll give you a few minutes to say goodbye.' Those words went right to Louis' chest, the pain spreading and blooming in his chest. Say goodbye? The door closed softly behind her. He gripped Harry's hand a little tighter.

'I'm not saying goodbye Harry. I'm not ready to say goodbye. It's too soon and I can't let you go. You can't go please baby.' Louis stood up, still holding on to his hand as if it was the only thing keeping him tethered to this world. Louis leaned over him, carding his fingers through his messy curls. 'I love you sweetheart so so much. If you can hear me, please fight. Fight for your life because I am here waiting for you and wanting you back. This is just farewell baby and I will be here waiting for you when you're out of surgery just please please come back to me.' Tears fell out of Louis' eyes and landed on Harry's brow. He gently wiped them away with a delicate finger then kissed his forehead, both his closed eyes, his nose, his cheeks and the side of his mouth. 

'We're not done yet. Our story can't and won't end like this. Please be strong and fight baby.' The door opened again and Bradley and some other nurses came in. Bradley gave him a small smile.

'We're here to take him,' he said softly. Louis nodded but didn't let go of Harry's hand. The nurses waited until Louis let go and moved back so they could wheel the bed up to the theater.

'Louis,' Bradley said again, his voice low. 'You need to let him go.' Louis shook his head.

'I can't,' he said hoarsely. 'What if....' he gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing painfully in his throat. 'What if its the last time I'm seeing him? What if....'

'Hey hey,' Bradley told him gently. 'Harry will be in very good hands. Trust those hands. And believe that miracles happen. Now please,let go of Harry's hand and step back from the bed so we can take him.' Louis swallowed thickly, placed on last kiss on Harry's forehead, removed Harry's wedding ring and reluctantly let his fingers release Harry's hand, his heart feeling as if it was crushing to pieces inside his chest. Bradley nodded at the nurses.

'Slowly. Don't jostle him. Keep him steady and avoid bumps.' Then he turned to Louis. 'Wait in the waiting room and call your family. They should be here.' Louis nodded mechanically as he watched them wheel Harry out of the room, taking his heart with them.

 

X

 

Seven hours later, Louis was a wrecked mess. The VIP waiting room was full with his family and Harry's family and friends but he was unconsolable. After the first two hours since Harry had been taken into surgery, he began pacing. After the third hour, his anxiety rocketed with the result that he vomited several times so much so that his throat burned and his voice was hoarse. He hadn't eaten anything so the stomach acid that he threw up burned his throat and his stomach lining. After the fifth hour, he was shaking badly and having panic attacks. Bradley had offered to give him something to calm him down but he wouldn't hear him. He kept asking Bradley for updates but all Bradley could tell him was that they were still in the theater.

Now it was the seventh hour and Louis was sitting in a chair beside his mother who was doing her best to hold him together and calm him down. But how do you console your son when his husband had been shot and the love of his life was fighting for his life? The VIP door opened and all eyes were on the door, wide with expectations, hearts beating fast with dread and hope but it was Agent Booth who walked in.

'Mr. Tomlinson, I know that this is not the right time but I have some news for you.' Louis nodded, deflating once again in the chair, holding on to his mother's hand. Des was sitting on his other side, holding on to Marge. Booth looked at all the expectant faces in the room looking at him. He sat in a chair by the door, which enabled him to look at everybody.

'Mr. Tomlinson, I went to your house and analyzed the crime scene. The shot came from across the road from an empty house that is up for sale. The shooter entered the house through the back. We found size nine army boot prints. Also,' Booth paused, thinking about how to form the next words. 'The shooter wasn't aiming to kill you Sir. That shot was intended for your husband.' Louis' eyes went wide.

'What? That's impossible. It was intended for me but Cal, he pushed me out of the way...he....no! No! That can't be right.'

'Honey calm down,' Johanna soothed him as she rubbed his back.

'Sir, the police showed me round the crime scene. How you and your husband were standing, the proximity to each other, there is no way that the sniper would've missed if that shot was aimed at you. I checked the weather for the day your husband was shot and there was no wind so it is not possible that the shot changed slight direction. It was aimed at your husband. Now what perplexes me is that that shot didn't hit his mark. If it had, your husband would've been dead within seconds which brings me to how come a sniper missed his target. Military trained snipers never miss. Now like I said, either your husband has a guardian angel or something is wrong with the sniper.' Louis buried his face in his hands.

'Oh my God, who would want to shoot Harry? Why? Why him not me?' Johanna was crying softly as she tried her best to soothe her son.

'Sir I have talked to the warden at Leeds Prison and your father has had no contact whatsoever with anyone except the doctor at the clinic who diagnosed your father with heart problems. The Warden told me that your father is often injured but also spends a lot of time in isolation. The Warden assured me that he has no contact at all with the outside world. Do you have any idea who might want to hurt your husband?' Louis shook his head.

'No. Nobody wanted to hurt Harry. Harry.....he's kind and love and all that is good. Everyone loved him except Ryan that mother fucker.' Booth raised an eyebrow and opened his notebook.

'Ryan who?' In short Louis told him what had transpired with Ryan and even though he told Agent Booth that Ryan was in prison, Booth told him that he would have him checked out. Horror dawned on Louis. Ryan had money and he held a grudge!

'You don't think he.....'

'At this point we can't rule anyone out,' Booth told him as he got up. 'I will call the prison and inquire about Ryan Rodriguez. I will let you know if I have any news.' Booth left and everyone in the room fell back to their despair.

X

 

Dr. Yang had both her gloved hands inside Harry's chest which was open. She held the tweezers in her steady hand as she reached towards his pumping beating heart to grab the metal shard that was embedded in a muscle close to his heart. If the tweezers slipped, if her hand shook even just a little, he could die on her table. She moved the tweezers closer to the metal.

'Easy,' she whispered to herself. She delicately took hold of the metal with the tweezers, secured her grip and pulled. The shard came free of the muscle but also did a spary of blood. Immediately, machines began beeping.

'Blood pressure is going down,' an assistant informed her. 

'Shit.' Dr. Yang whispered as she asked for gauze to soak up the blood. The beeping continued. 'Suction,' she ordered.

'Blood pressure still dropping,' the assistant said again. 'We're losing him.'

'Come on Harry, come on,' Dr. Yang said as she continued to soak up blood from his chest, removing blood soaked gauze as a nurse used a suction pipe to remove access blood. The beeping stopped followed by a monotone buzz.

'He's going into cardiac arrest!' the assistant said again. Dr. Yang asked for the defibrillator.

'Charge to two hundred,' she ordered. 'Clear!' She placed the metal pallets directly to Harry's exposed heart and sent two hundred volts of electric shock to his heart. The flatline hummed on.

 

Harry sat curled up at his dad's house on the couch with a blanket over him. He was cold even though the fire place had a raging fire going on. He shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. The lounge door opened, letting in a gust of cold air, making Harry shiver. Harry turned his head and smiled big when he saw his mother walk into the room. She looked beautiful, glowing even. She smiled at him and sat down beside him.

'Mum what are you doing here?' he asked her surprised. Anne smiled at him and cupped his cheek in her hand.

'I came here to tell you that you need to go back to Louis honey,' she told him gently, caressing his cheek. Harry cuddled further under the blanket.

'I'm so tired mum and so cold. I just want to sleep. And I really want to stay here with you. I missed you so much.'

'Oh honey I missed you too but you can't stay here with me. Not yet. You are needed back at home. Louis needs you. And so does your dad.' Harry gave her a big smile.

'Oh you know Louis?' Anne gave him a bigger smile. 

'Of course I do. I was at the wedding. It was such a lovely wedding sweetheart. I am so proud of you. You both looked very lovely. So did your father. I am so happy that you two are getting along now. When I left, I hated to leave you two like that.' Harry smiled at the memory.

'It was a beautiful day. I miss Louis mum.'

'That's why you have to go back my baby. He needs you. He is going crazy without you.' Harry closed his eyes.

'Can't I just rest a little here with you mum? I am so tired. I just need to sleep a little bit.'

'No baby. If you sleep here now you will not wake up. You need to go. Now! Tell Louis to take good care of you and tell your father that I am very proud of him for fixing things with you and tell him that I approve of Marge. Tell him not to feel guilty about it. Tell him that I am happy. Go my son and be happy.' Harry sat up and leaned into his mother. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He inhaled his mother's perfume, the one that she always wore.

'I love you mum. So much.' Anne placed a kiss on top of his head.

'I love you too my baby but you need to go. Now. Go live. Go be with your husband. Go and live the best life you can. We will meet again soon my beautiful boy. I will always look after you. Always.' Harry smiled at her but suddenly she was gone.

 

'He's back!' Dr Yang said as the heart monitor beeped back to life.

'Blood pressure is rising,' the assistant told her. She grabbed her tweezers again.

'Come on Harry, stay with me. We're almost done.'

X

Almost nine hours later, the door opened again and an Asian doctor wearing scrubs walked in.

'Mr. Tomlinson?' she asked and Louis bolted from his chair as did everyone else eager for news about Harry.

'How is he?' Louis asked her, his voice laced with hope and fear. The doctor held out her hand to him.

'I am Dr. Cristina Yang. I operated on your husband.' Louis shook her hand and looked at her hopefully, his eyes begging her to tell him how Harry was.

'Your husband is in critical condition but stable. When I opened him up, the damage was severe, much more so than we thought. We removed half of his left lung which was ripped to shreds by the shrapnel. I removed the shards that were threatening to kill him. I checked if there were other stray metal shards in his chest or surrounding area but there are none. He flatlined during the operation but we resusitated him. He has a broken collar bone, a result from the impact of the bullet and three broken ribs probably from the CPR he received. It is quite common. We are going to keep him in an induced coma for the time being as the trauma he suffered is extensive and his body needs to heal so we need him stable. If we wake him up now, he will be in a lot of pain and there could be complications so I prefer that we keep him asleep for a few days, just until his body gets over the shock of the trauma he suffered. The next forty eight hours are critical. We will keep him constantly monitored. Do you have any questions?'

'Will he.....what are his chances?' Louis asked quietly. 

'At this point, let's say they're fifty fifty.' Gasps where heard around the room and Louis made a garbled noise in his throat. Des let out a sob. Dr. Yang looked at all of them and she knew their suffering. She had seen a lot of it and delivered a lot of bad news to families just like this.

'He is strong and young. The next forty eight hours will determine everything so we just have to wait.'

'Can I sit with him?' Louis asked her. Dr. Yang gave him a small smile and nod.

'Of course. If any of you have any questions, have one of the nurses page me.' She left the room and Louis sagged in the chair.

'Sweetheart, he will make it,' his mother told him. 'We have to believe and hope that he will make it. Let's stay positive baby. Harry has to make it. He has to.'

 

X

 

Forty eight hours later, Dr. Yang was checking on Harry's vitals, Louis looking at her and waiting with bated breath for her to say something, anything regarding Harry's condition. For the past forty eight hours, he had sat beside Harry, not daring to move, not wanting to miss a second just in case they were Harry's last few hours. He had held his hand and listened to the beeping and the whooshing and prayed to the Universe, to the Gods, to anyone who would hear him to please save his boy.

Dr. Yang checked and checked, then looked at Louis. 

'Everything seems to be okay. We are going to bring him out of his coma. Let him wake up on his own.' Louis' heart was beating so fast. After five days they were going to wake him up.

'He....he will wake up won't he?' Louis asked her.

'He will wake up when and if he's ready. His body needs a lot of healing and he will be pretty sore so he needs time. His body knows what it needs and what it has to do to heal itself.' Dr. Yang injected something in Harry's IV, then nodded at Louis and exited the room. Louis sat down in the chair, listening to the beeping of Harry's heart and the whooshing of the ventilator and held his hand, waiting for Harry to wake up, praying he would. He watched him, for any little sign, his chest rising and falling, the tube still down his throat, his lashes fanned out on his cheeks but still the same, no movement.

'Come on sweetheart please please wake up,' Louis whispered. 'I missed you baby so much. I would really like to see your eyes again. Please wake up.' Louis continued to watch him as time ticked by and Harry remained sleeping. Half an hour went by and Louis wouldn't take his eyes off Harry hoping that he would will him awake. When an hour went by, Louis' hopes began to die. He rested his back against the chair, still holding on to Harry's hand and closed his eyes. He was so so very tired. His body was begging him to sleep and take a rest but he wouldn't. Not until he knew that Harry was going to be alright.

He didn't know how long he had been asleep but he was woken up suddenly by a shrilly alarm that beeped loudly. Dr. Yang, Dr. Evans, Bradley and a few nurses rushed into the room, surrounding Harry's bed. Someone yelled at him to move and get out of the way. Louis stumbled back against the wall, his back flat as he watched them crowd around Harry, the alarm still screaming. His hand flew to his mouth.

'Harry,' he whispered, 'God no no no no please no. Please don't take him.' He trembled from head to toe as he watched Dr. Yang work on him. His mind didn't register that no one was yelling for a crash cart. He saw Dr. Yang shine a torch in Harry's eyes and call out his name softly. Then the alarm stopped dead and it all went quiet and Louis held his breath because he couldn't breath. Dr. Yang looked at him and he waited for it, he waited for her to tell him the bad news but she smiled at him.

'Mr. Tomlinson, he's awake,' she told him and Louis exhaled and felt his body begin to crumble, the exhaustion catching up with him. Dr. Evans moved out of the way and Louis moved forwards towards the bed and he saw Harry's eyelashes flutter softly. Louis took his hand and Harry opened his eyes slowly,his green tired eyes rested on him.

'Lou,' he said groggily, his voice hoarse from the tube having been down his throat. At at the sound of his voice, Louis wanted to collapse and cry.

'Baby,' Louis whispered through his tears. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. They were dry and chapped.

'Lou,' he said again.

'Harry, I am Dr. Yang. Try not to speak okay.' Dr. Yang looked at Louis and he nodded at her. Harry was looking at them with questions in his eyes. Louis squeezed his hand gently.

'I'm here sweetheart. I'm here,' Louis reassured him.

'What.....happened?' he asked. His voice was so rough he almost didn't sound like his Harry. Again, Louis and Dr. Yang exchanged looks and Louis nodded at her again.

'Harry, you were shot,' Dr. Yang told him calmly. 'You have been in a coma for five days due to the severe trauma you suffered. I operated on you two days ago and I had to remove half of your left lung but that shouldn't hinder you from living a normal life. The left lung has two nodes and we only removed one so you will be fine. You just can't over stress yourself. You have a broken collarbone and three broken ribs so you have a lot of healing to do alright. I need you to give your body time to heal.' Louis saw the tears roll out of Harry's eyes and roll down his temples and into his hair. He looked at Louis, his eyes full of pain and sadness.

'Why? Who?' Louis wiped his tears away.

'We don't know yet my darling but the police are working on it. I am so sorry sweetheart.' Harry closed his eyes as more tears rolled out of his eyes and into his hair. Louis smoothed his hair back and kissed his forehead. 'You're alive baby. It's a miracle you know. You are a miracle. My miracle. I love you so much honey.' Harry kept his eyes tightly closed, his face scrunched up.

'It hurts,' he whispered hoarsely. 'It hurts so much.' Dr. Yang leaned over him as she took his pulse.

'You will be sore for a while Harry. You had extended surgery. Its to be expected. You need to rest and sleep so your body can heal.' Louis kept stroking his hair and holding his hand. Dr. Yang looked at Louis.

'I need to increase his morphine in take to keep him comfortable. That will put him to sleep okay.' Louis nodded. Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis.

'Don't leave me,' he croaked out as more tears fell out of his eyes. Louis gave him a small smile and placed a kiss on his lips.

'Never. I will be here when you wake up. I am not leaving your side I promise you.' Harry gave him a nod. Dr. Yang increased the morphine. Louis kept his eyes locked into Harry's as he watched his eyelids droop slowly and Harry drifted back to sleep, his fingers around Louis' hand going slack. Louis sighed sadly.

'Its all normal,' Dr. Yang told him. 'The body needs time to heal the trauma he suffered and sleep is the best healer. He is not in any pain right now. He's comfortable where as you....well you need to go home have a hot shower, eat a good meal, get some sleep and come back later.' Louis shook his head.

'I'm not leaving him. I can't....'

'Mr Tomlinson, he will be asleep for the rest of the day. As a doctor I cannot let you keep going down this road. You look exhausted and it is not good for your health. Harry needs you to be strong and present. He's over the worst forty eight hours. He's on the way to healing. Yes there could be complications but he is well monitored and looked after. I have rescheduled some of my operations back in Zurich and I am staying to look after him to make sure he is well on the way to healing. So, go. Send in some other family member to sit with him for a little while and come back later. Doctor's orders,' she told him as she walked out of the room. Louis took in a deep breath and exhaled. He didn't want to leave Harry but Dr. Yang was right. He was a mess. He was still wearing scrubs from five days ago for God's sake! He kissed Harry again.

'I will be back soon sweetheart. I promise I won't be long no matter what the good doctor says. I promised I won't leave you and I won't. Just going to shower and eat and I will be right back. I will send your father in to sit with you. He is so worried honey and dying to see you. I love you so so much baby.' He kissed him again then reluctantly he let go of his hand and walked out of the room. As soon as he emerged he saw Bradley who smiled at him warmly.

'Heard he's up,' Bradley told him. Louis smiled.

'Yeah but he's in a lot of pain. Dr. Yang gave him more morphine.' Bradley squeezed his shoulder.

'He's been through a lot. He needs to heal and you need to take care of yourself.' Louis smiled at him again. He liked Bradley. For the past five worst days of his life, Bradley had been his constant, which suddenly Louis realized that Bradley had been here all five days long, which meant.....

'You need to take care of yourself too. You....you haven't left us for a second these five days. You need to rest too.' Bradley waved a dismissing hand at him.

'Don't worry about me. I am used to working days straight when we have trauma patients. Besides, I did get a few hours sleep in the on call room during these few days. And I showered unlike you,' he joked scrunching up his nose playfully at Louis. Louis raised his hands as if in surrender.

'Okay okay I'm gonna go shower. I'm tired of people telling me I stink.' They laughed then Louis' face went serious. 'Will you....can I ask you to take care of him while I'm away? Please?' Bradley's face softened.

'It would be my pleasure Louis. I have become quite fond of your prince myself. And its my job to take care of him so go, rest assured he's in good hands okay.' He walked with Louis towards the VIP waiting room. Louis entered followed by Bradley and immediately was greeted by everyone, including Marc and Ed. Marc was on him in a second, wrapping his arms around Louis' shoulders and pulling him into a tight hug. 

'Oh my God Louis, I couldn't believe it. I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner. We got in yesterday but they wouldn't let us in to see Harry. We had engagements to reschedule and shit to get out of but we made it. How is he? How are you holding up my chere`? What do you need? Oh my God Harry. Poor baby.' Marc choked on his tears. Louis rubbed his back up and down gently as Marc buried his face in the crook between his neck and his shoulder.

'He's up. I spoke to him but he's in a lot of pain so Dr. Yang gave him more morphine and kicked me out. She said I needed to shower.' Marc pulled back, his face streaked with tears.

'You do stink darling,' he said as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. Louis looked at his family and friends who were all looking at him with expectant faces, eyes glassy with tears. They all looked exhausted.

'Dr. Yang said he's doing good. He woke up and I spoke to him a little bit but he's in a lot of pain so she increased his morphine dosage and he's back to sleep. She said the more he sleeps the better so that his body can heal. And I was advised multiple times to go shower so....' he let that hang in the air as he heard multiple gasps of relief around the room. Maggie wheeled his mother towards him. She looked up at him and took his hand.

'I am so happy baby,' she said through her tears. 'Harry will be fine.' Louis nodded sadly.

'There....there could still be complications,' he said quietly.' His mother squeezed his hand.

'Every trauma does but we need to be positive my brave boy. Now go rest. We will stay with Harry.' Des came up next to him and squeezed his shoulder.

'You need to be taken care of too. He is going to need you through all of this. Can we see him?' he asked. Louis looked at Bradley.

'You can,' Bradley said, 'just not all at the same time and only for ten minutes. He has a lot of healing to do. I will take you one by one to sit with him while Louis goes and rests.' As Louis was about to leave, Cal entered. 

'Sir Agent Booth and the police are here to see you.' Louis nodded and Cal opened the door, allowing Agent Booth and Collins and Jacobson to enter. Louis looked at Booth.

'I thought you went back,' he said. Booth smiled.

'I'm not going until the shooter is caught. I can offer my expertise to the British police and I am going to do it.' Louis nodded and turned to the Jacobson.

'What is it?' Louis asked him.

'Sir we had a phone call from a pub in Doncaster. The um,' Jacobson paused as he flicked through his notebook. 'Yes pub is called The Goose and The Crown. You are from Doncaster aren't you?' Louis shifted nervously on his tired feet. Where they investigating his past now? What did Doncaster have to do with Harry's shooting?

'Yes I was born there,' Louis said curtly.

'Do you know the pub?' Collins asked him.

'No I do not recall it. I left there at a young age. I was not yet of legal age to enter pubs so no I do not know it.' His mother made a stifling sound. The officer's eyes shifted to her.

'Mr. Tomlinson, do you know the pub?' Jacobson asked her. Johanna looked up at Louis but his face was blank.

'Ye-yes. The name is familiar.'

'How is it familiar?' Jacobson pressed. Louis stepped closer to his mother, trying to shield her from them.

'How and why is this relevant to my husband getting shot?' Louis asked a little irritated.

'Well we got a call from the owner of the pub informing us that there was a local man who is a regular at the pub and upon seeing the news on the pub's telly that was reporting your husband's case was heard to say,' Collins paused and looked at his notebook again, 'the bastard should be dead but if a shrapnel bullet can't kill him then I don't know what can. The media never revealed that your husband was shot with a shrapnel bullet. All they said was that he was shot outside his home. Have you or any of your people revealed this to the media Sir?' Louis shook his head.

'No. I haven't spoken to anyone and neither has my PR people or my personal assistant. How does he know?'

'That's why we have had the Donchaster police pick him up. They are transporting him down to London for questioning. Does the name Horace Jones mean anything to you?' Louis seemed to be thinking.

'No I've never heard that name before.' Jacobson looked at Johanna.

'Do you have any recollection of the name Mrs. Tomlinson?' Johanna shook her head.

'No I don't know anybody with that name.' The officers nodded.

'We will be in touch when we have him in custody. We might need you to come down and see if you know the man.' Johanna and Louis both nodded. The officers left but Booth remained. He looked from Louis to his mother.

'I have been digging into your father's past. I know why he is in prison just like every officer who is working on this case knows or will eventually find out. Your past might be made public. The media will delve into your past once more details regarding this case will be made public. This person they have arrested,' Booth paused and looked at Louis, 'he was in Operation Desert storm as was your father. I have access to look into military past and I found them both. They were in the same platoon. He is probably the one who shot your husband since he knows that your husband was shot with a shrapnel bullet. They are not commonly used but they were commonly used back then. I told the police what I found out but they need you to identify him to make the connection back to your father. That platoon was a big one so he might not have necessarily known your father personally but if you identify him, well that would be the link they will need. You might want to get your people ready to deflate any exposure of your past.' Louis nodded once.

'Thank you,' he said quietly. Booth left and Louis remained standing next to his mother. He looked around at the people in the room : Lottie, Fizzy, Doris, Ernest, Phoebe, Daisy, Des, Marge, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Shawn, Ed, Marc and Walter. His family and Walter knew about his past but Harry's family and friends did not. If it all came out in the news, shit would fly. The media would corner them and ask questions. He owed them the truth and they had to hear it from him not from the media who would twist facts the way they saw fit, to generate sales, ratings and an audience. His mother took his hand.

'Baby,' she whispered. Louis looked down.

'They have to know mum. They are family too. They are associated with me and Harry and if this gets out...I don't want them to find out from the media mum. I don't want to hide anymore at least not from the people who matter to us.' Johanna kissed the back of his hand.

'Be brave my son,' she told him. His siblings came to crowd around him, leaving Louis facing Des, Marge and Harry's friends who were all looking at him with confused expressions. Louis was shaking from head to foot. How could he do this again? How could he re-tell the story and open up all the wounds again? How could he do it without Harry?

You have to, his subconscious piped up. You owe it to Harry because all this that has happened is because of you. He got shot because of you, because if there is a connection with the shooter and your father, you know that Harry was shot as payback from your father. He told you that he would pay you back and he has. You owe these people the truth, the real you. They need to know how you have endangered Harry's life since the beginning. Louis nodded to himself. He looked all of them in the eye.

'I...I um,' he croaked out. He cleared his throat and rubbed his palms together. 'I owe you all an explanation. I don't know the details of the attack on Harry yet. I don't know why he was shot and not me but the details that are emerging from the investigation, well they are adding up into a very ugly picture. It might be possible that my father is behind this attack on Harry.'

'Your father?' Des exclaimed. 'Why would your father want to hurt my son? What did my son ever do to your father?' Louis ran a hand through his dirty greasy hair.

'Des, I am not sure it is my father yet. He is in prison and has no communication to the outer world but the person they have arrested well, he might be connected to my father somehow. I have to go and identify him.'

'Still doesn't explain shit,' Zayn spat at him. 'You're here healthy and fit while Harry is suffering because of your father? That doesn't make sense.' Louis rubbed his face.

'Please, I know you are all confused and worried....'

'Damn right we are you asshole,' Zayn threw at him.

'Zayn honey,' Liam calmed him down. 'Let him talk. Please just stay calm.' Liam looked at Louis and gave him a small smile. 'Carry on please.'

'My father is....he is um in prison because he....he um....God...fuck,' Louis said gulping down on the knot that was lodged in his throat. Lottie rubbed his back.

'It's alright Louis. We are all family here.' Louis shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks.

'I can't,' he whispered as he struggled to breathe. 'I can't. Not again.' Johanna took his hand in hers.

'Sit down sweetheart. You have been through so much. I will tell them baby. Sit down next to me.' Lottie moved and let him sit down next to Johanna. Louis lowered his head and would not meet their eyes. Johanna looked at them, her eyes resting on Zayn.

'I know you all love Harry,' she told him, 'believe me, we all love him too but my son, even though he is not physically injured, he is suffering along with his husband. My son has been suffering since he was eight years old so Zayn, I thank you to not be rough with him when he's at his lowest. Not when he's burdened by all this pain. I understand your anger and your pain and I understand that you need to vent it but please don't take it out on my son. I need you to understand his pain, our pain.' Nobody spoke. The room was utterly silent so Johanna took a deep breath and continued :

'My husband is in prison serving a long sentence for raping my little boy repeatedly.' Shocked gasps went around the room, all eyes now on Louis. Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe, Daisy, Ernest and Doris crowded tighter round their mother and Louis as if protecting them from the world.

'Louis was only eight years old when my husband first raped him. I came home after a night shift and I found him a bloody mess on his bedroom floor. He had been touching my baby for a whole week and I did not see it until he finally broke him. My heart broke at the sight of my battered baby but I healed him the best I could, physically at least. After that day, Louis never spoke. He never said a word. Our nightmare had only just begun. After Louis healed, my husband raped him again. And again. And again. Always beating him into submission with a belt. I tried to help him and protect him but he beat me senseless, he raped me in front of him showing my little boy what would happen to me if he disobeyed him. He threatened me that if I said a word to anyone or tried to get help, he would kill my little boy. He told me that he would slit his throat and hold me while I watched him bleed out. He threatened my other two babies too, Charlotte and Felictie. I had no other choice and Louis had no other choice either. I know he was saving me from the beatings and the rapes and I know he was protecting his two baby sisters. Even though he was only eight, he was our protector.' Johanna stopped as fresh new tears rolled down her face. Her children were all crying softly beside her, holding her and Louis. Everyone else in the room sank down in chairs too stunned and shocked at what they were hearing. Johanna wiped her eyes with a tissue and continued :

'Louis and I obeyed him. I had to endure listening to my son whimper softly because he never cried out or begged him to stop. He just took what his father gave him. By now I was pregnant again, with twins and that's when he began bringing in his friends.'

'Oh dear God,' Des whispered as he covered his mouth at the horror he was hearing.

'He brought his disgusting friends for my baby boy. The first night he brought two of them and Louis fought them. He fought so hard but his father beat him with his belt and tied him to the bed while his friends raped him bloody then paid him twenty pounds each for his services. My son was being sold for twenty pounds! All that pain he had to endure so his father could make money. Form then on, he whored my son out to his disgusting friends. It went on for years. I tried to help my boy but he beat me and threatened my babies. By now Phoebe and Daisy where born and I had four little girls to think about. Louis here, he took care of them when my husband was out of the house or passed out drunk. Sometimes when he beat me really bad, Louis would bathe all four of them and feed them and take care of me even though he himself was aching from being repeatedly beat and raped but he kept us together. I shielded him as much as I could but it was never enough. Never a day goes by that I don't blame myself for all that he endured.'

'Mum no,' Louis whispered through his tears. Johanna sniffed and kissed the top of his head.

'You are my brave boy, my fighter and my survivor. Anyway, I fell pregnant with twins again. I hear you thinking, why keep getting pregnant from this animal? He forbade me any birth control. He would tell me that if he'd catch me using birth control, I would never see Louis or my babies again. That he had connections and he would sell them off as sex slaves. I was terrified so I never tried and he felt very powerful and in control having me pregnant and bearing his children. He never touched the girls even though he threatened he would hurt them but he never did and for that I was grateful. By now Louis was thirteen. We had been enduring this hell for over five years. Louis made him a lot of money, money he squandered drinking and gambling. One day we were having a big fight. I was heavily pregnant and he was beating me out on the landing. He hit me really hard and threw me down the stairs. Louis came out of his room and stabbed him in the kidney with a screwdriver. The details after that are hazy to me. I only know what Louis told me when he found me again. I was taken to hospital where my babies had to be born prematurely and taken away from me as I was in a coma and paralyzed from the neck down due to the fall. My babies were taken away from me before I gave birth to them. They took them from my womb! I didn't even get to name them! They took Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy into foster care then they were all adopted and my beautiful boy was put into juvie for attempted murder. But Louis was brave and he gave out a detailed statement of what we endured for five whole years at the hands of that monster.' Johanna paused and hugged her son tightly to her. Louis buried his face in her neck and stayed there as she rubbed his back. Then she looked at her other children.

'I don't know how much your brother told you about his life after juvie but I am going to tell these good people everything because they deserve the truth like you all do. We are all family now and I don't want Louis hated.' Louis remained clinging to his mother, his face buried in her hair. Johanna directed her gaze back to Des, Marge, Liam, Zayn, Shawn, Niall, Ed, Marc and Walter.

'Louis left juvie when he turned eighteen. He had no one to go to or anywhere to stay. He was all alone. He didn't know where I was or his siblings. He hitched a ride to London hoping to start a new life, get a job and bring us all back together. My son has always been a genius. He was very smart even as a little boy. He was already too advanced for his age so it was no trouble for him to learn but he had no one. No money. No place to go to. He was homeless for a while. He had to scrape through bins to eat, sometimes not eating at all. He wanted to do his exams but he had no money to pay for them or for the internet. Louis could self teach but without money he was stuck until,' Johanna paused and placed another kiss on his head and squeezed him a little tighter. 'Until he started selling himself for sex.' There was a collective gasp around the room and some sobbing from Marge and heartfelt cries from her children.

'It was what he knew and all that he had to work with. After all he had been whored out for five whole years,' Johanna explained. 'He didn't like it but it got him money and food and access to the internet. It paid for his exams. He got his degrees online. He wanted to find us and get the family back together but he couldn't catch a break until he met Oscar Fairchild who gave him the break Louis needed and deserved. From then on, he worked his way up. He found me. He took care of me. Paid for my operations so I could move my neck and my arms. He looked for his brother and sisters. He found them and opened funds for them, paid for their education and well being but my boy remained damaged and unhappy until he met Harry.' Johanna paused again and her face softened. She directed her gaze towards Des and gave him a small smile.

'You son has been my son's salvation. You son has healed my boy and I could never be grateful enough for him Des. My boy would never hurt him or have him put in harm's way because Harry is everything to him. He is the beat in his heart, the breath in his lungs, the sight in his eyes, his motivation, his inspiration. Harry is everything.' Des swallowed thickly.

'Does....does he know....about all this?' Johanna nodded.

'He does and he chose to remain with Louis. He knows all his darkness and he has been his light.'

'So why....' Des asked but stopped, not knowing exactly how to ask the question he wanted to ask. Johanna sighed.

'What happened is my fault,' Johanna told Des. Louis raised his head.

'Mum its not,' he protested.

'Hush,' she scolded him gently. She looked back at Des. 'I triggered my husband. I wanted a divorce. Louis told me that it was not a good idea, that we shouldn't stir up the waters but I...I don't want to remain married to that monster so Louis being the good son that he is, called Walter and had him arrange it. But my husband is a horrible man. He agreed to give me my divorce if Louis visited him which he accepted to do. Harry went with him as he was not going to let him do it by himself. Harry knew that Louis was still terrified of his father and there was no way he was going to let him face him alone. The visit did not go smoothly. My husband had other plans. He was left alone with Louis and he attacked and threatened him. Louis might be fearless and a great business man but when it comes to his father, the trauma he received at his hands is still too big and runs too deep. My husband threatened Harry and Louis attacked him. My husband promised him that he would pay for all that he did to him meaning Louis opening his big mouth and putting him in prison. After this episode, there were people watching Louis and Harry's every move. My husband had people watching them so the police were involved and my son employed extra security to keep Harry and himself safe. Which brings us to why we think that my husband might be behind this attack on Harry.'

'But my son has done nothing to him to deserve this,' Des said desperately. Louis looked at him.

'I am so sorry,' he whispered. 'I never meant for any of this to happen. I tried to protect him, to keep him safe.' He looked down, feeling ashamed that all the people in the room now knew about his past. He shook his head. 'I tried so hard.....'

'But it wasn't enough,' Zayn spat at him. 'He has been through hell since he's been with you. How many times have you broken his heart again? How many times have you told him that you didn't want him? That he wasn't enough!' Louis raised his head and looked at Zayn with pleading eyes.

'I tried to get him away from me. I tried to make him hate me so he could move on from me but....'

'But you had your claws dug deep into him. You never fully wanted to let him go. You had to keep pulling him back in. You....'

'Enough,' Marc said, stepping away from Ed and sitting down next to Louis. He wrapped his arm around his shoulder and looked at Zayn.

'Stop it. It is a hard time for everyone. Louis loves that boy with a love deep and true and you don't get to throw accusations at him at a time like this. Don't throw blame around. No one is to blame here least of all Louis.' Marc turned his attention to Louis. 'Darling let's get you home. You are a right wreck. I will come with you and take care of you.' He hugged Louis to his side then turned to Johanna.

'I'll take care of him. You stay here. Harry needs you all but Louis needs looking after too so don't worry alright. He's in good hands.' Johanna squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek.

'Thank you Marc.' Marc got up and pulled Louis up with him. Louis looked at everyone staring at him. Zayn was seething with his hands clenched into fists while Liam held him. Des looked hurt and disappointed. Niall, Shawn and Ed looked broken.

You destroy everyone and everything. When are you going to get it through your head that you are a disease? You fester and you ruin everyone.

'I am so very sorry. So so sorry. I....'

'Louis,' Marc cut him off. 'You apologized enough already. Come on let's go.' Marc led him out of the waiting room and down the corridor towards the lift accompanied by Cal and another security. Once they were inside the lift, Louis sagged against Marc.

'You were very brave,' Marc told him. 'I'm proud of you.'

'Sir,' Cal said getting Louis' attention. 'I must inform you that there's the media outside and they have been hanging around the house for the past few days. I have parked the car in the parking lot behind the hospital so we can avoid them.'

'Thank you Cal,' Louis said quietly. The elevator opened on to the foyer of the hospital. Cal led them outside, Marc keeping a sure hand around Louis' shoulders. Louis could feel the tiredness of the past days creeping up on him all of a sudden and he just wanted to fall into bed and sleep. As they crossed the parking lot reserved for the staff of the hospital, they heard a voice calling out to them.

'Hey!' They stopped and turned to see Zayn, Liam, Niall, Shawn and Ed approaching them. Zayn still looked angry as fuck. Marc rolled his eyes.

'The fuck do they want now?' he muttered under his breath. Zayn stopped a few inches away from Louis, his eyes boring into him.

'Did you hurt him?' Zayn asked him, his voice dangerously low. Liam took him by the elbow and pulled him back a little but Zayn snatched his arm away from Liam's touch. He glared at Louis.

'Did you beat him and rape him? Did Harry lie to us to protect you? Tell me the truth.' Marc rolled his eyes again.

'Really? All this drama? Come on Louis,' he said as he tried to lead Louis to the car but Louis would not be moved. He looked at Zayn.

'Yes,' he whispered. 'I hurt him. Harry lied to protect me.'

'You son of a bitch,' Zayn yelled and before anyone could stop him, he launched himself at Louis sending him crashing to the concrete ground, he straddled his hips and managed to land a few punches before he was dragged off of Louis. Louis didn't even defend himself. He let Zayn's fist land on his lip and eye. He let him hit him because he deserved it.

'You son of a bitch!' Zayn screamed at him as he struggled in Liam's and Niall's hold on him. 'How could you? How could you hurt him like that you fucking monster?' Tears fell from Zayn's eyes. 'How could you possibly hurt him? You fucking raped him you bastard. How could you? How could you?' Zayn collapsed onto the floor, Liam's arms going around him comfortingly. Niall, Shawn and Ed all stood there stunned at Louis' revelation. Marc helped him up off the ground, his right eye swollen and his lower lip bleeding.

'Get that thug outta here,' Marc growled at the security.

'No no Marc no its alright,' Louis told him, as he held out an arm stopping his security from going for Zayn.

'Louis he hit you!' Marc protested.

'And I deserved it,' Louis told him. 

'You didn't! That little shit....'

'Marc enough,' Louis stopped him quietly. His head throbbed. His face hurt. 'I just want to go home and rest so I can come back to Harry please. Harry is what's important here.'

'You stay the fuck away from him!' Zayn yelled through his tears. Louis looked at him and he could really understand his anger. 'Stay the fuck away from him your monster!'

'He's my husband Zayn. I'm not going anywhere.' Zayn spat on the ground.

'I hate you you mother fucker. You are a disgusting piece of shit.' Louis looked at his shoes.

'Yes. Yes I am but my love for Harry is bigger than your hate of me and you have every right to hate me. I understand that. I understand if any of you will not talk to me again. Now you all know the truth. You know who I really am and what I am. I get it if you wish to cut all connections with me but you must understand that I tried to leave him. I tried to let him go for his own good but he loves me and he stayed with me despite all and for that I am grateful. He changed me and I allowed myself to be changed because he deserves the best and that's what I am trying to be for him. What happened....what I did to him will always haunt me and kill me but he...he forgave me and he understood me. I am in no way justifying what I did but Harry saw the best in me and he brought it out of me. He dug in deep inside of me and brought me out. I am trying to move on from that life but somehow my past keeps on coming back to bite me in the ass and he gets hurt for it. I never meant for any of it to happen you have to believe me. Please. I would never intentionally hurt him.....'

'But you did intentionally hurt him when you raped him you sick fuck!' Zayn spat at him. 

'Yes,' Louis agreed, 'and I promised him that I would never ever lay a finger on him again. What Harry and I have, I don't expect you to understand. He's incredible and so much more than I could have ever hoped to find in my fucked up life but I found him and I will not let him go. I know you hate me and you have every right to do so but you will not tell me to stay away from Harry because that's not going to happen.' Before any of them said another word, Louis turned and walked towards the car.

'Sir would you like me to call the police?' Cal asked him.

'No Cal. He's angry with reason. I don't want to file charges. Take me home.'

 

x

 

Leeds Prison.

Robert was in his cell, lying on his bed reading a book, free of all cares and worries in the world. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt happy and at peace. The boy was probably dead by now even though on the news they said that he had been seriously injured and was in a critical condition. It was weird that “Trigger Happy” had missed. At one point, Robert almost clapped when the newscaster said that Mr. Harry Tomlinson was touch and go! Nobody survived a shrapnel shot! Probably his son was planning his funeral right now all sad and tearful. Robert chuckled to himself. Oh life was wonderful!

A guard startled him out of his happy thoughts when he rapped his baton against the iron bars of his cell.

'Tomlinson, Doc wants to see you. Something about a prescription for your heart pills. Come on up you go.' Robert smiled pleasantly at the guard. He took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

'What a wonderful day it is today is it not Bernard?' The guard scowled at him.

'Cut the shit Tomlinson. You're creepy as fuck. Nobody loves a child rapist! Let's move.' Robert got up and followed Bernard, whistling as he walked down the prison corridors towards the infirmary. When they got there, Bernard showed him in then waited outside.

'Good morning Doctor dearest, isn't it just a wonderful day? Aren't you glad we are alive to enjoy it? Unlike someone we know who is probably dead?' Robert burst out laughing as he hauled himself up on the examination table and swung his feet back and forth. 'I am so happy today. Its just, I don't know, a perfect day for a funeral don't you think? I mean look at the sky so blue and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and my son is planning his husband's funeral.' Craig looked at him unimpressed. He rested back against the cabinets crossing his ankles one over the other and folded his arms across his chest. Robert looked at him and frowned.

'Why are you not rejoicing with me?'

'Because your idiot sniper missed.' Robert's face went serious.

'No he did not. I saw the news. He shot him. It's been all over the news. Trigger got him.' Craig scoffed.

'The media knows jackshit. They are just repeating what they heard. Apparently Harry survived the shot and he's going to make it.' Robert jumped down off the bed.

'No. No one survives a shrapnel shot. Trigger never misses. He fucking got his nickname from all the people he killed with shrapnel bullets he made himself. Trigger does not miss.'

'Well Trigger missed!' Craig spat at him. 'Harry was operated on by a doctor from Zurich, the best in her field. He did nearly die but he survived the shot. Hate to burst your happy bubble but he's alive and recovering.' Robert gripped his hair with both his hands and tugged hard.

'No. No. How the fuck did this happen? He shouldn't have survived. He should've died.That shot should've shattered his whole chest and he should've died on the spot.'

'Well maybe if Trigger hit the mark he would've died but he didn't and just so you know, they have the FBI on board to catch the shooter. I'm warning you Tomlinson, this had better not come back to me.' Robert paced the length of the infirmary and back, shaking his head and muttering to himself. Then he looked at Craig.

'It can't come back to you. The middle man I sent you to is fucking blind. How can he recognize you? Why do you think I sent you to him? Sid is the reason Trigger started making shrapnel bullets. Sid was blinded by a shrapnel bomb. Thank God it was only his eyes it took out because I'm telling you when those motherfuckers explode they leave a lot of damage. We were ambushed and Sid....'

'I don't fucking care!' Craig hissed at him. 'What I care about is that Harry is still alive and that your fucking son is not planning his funeral.' Robert looked at him with wide eyes.

'So what do we do now?' Craig pushed away from where he was leaning and stood in front of Robert.

'I will clean up the mess your man left,' he said matter of factly as if he was just discussing cleaning out his gutters in case it rains.

'What are you thinking of?' Robert asked him.

'An air embolisim.'

'A what?' Robert asked. Craig rolled his eyes and shook his head impatiently.

'I will sneak into the hospital dressed as a doctor. Nobody knows me in that hospital. Its too posh and too rich. Not my class. It will be easy for me to go in undetected. I will be just another doctor. I will find his room and I will inject air into his IV. It will kill him. Either a heart attack or a severe stroke. If it doesn't kill him, it will do very serious damage to him. Small air bubbles will block his capillaries in his vital organs which will impede his blood flow causing pain, inflammation, neurological damage and paralysis. If we are lucky and I manage to get more air into his system well, his heart starts squeezing on air, it will have no purchase, the air just compresses, stops the blood flow and eventually his heart will stop. I will inject it through his IV so the air bubbles will block his coronary arteries and cut his blood supply to his brain which will be fatal. 40 milliliters of air should do it. Just four syringes of 10 milliliters each. It will just take a few minutes. I will be out there before his machines start beeping like crazy.' Robert clapped his hands together happily.

'You're a genius doc. When are you going to do it?' Craig gave him an annoyed look.

'This afternoon. I want it over and done with. I want that bastard to pay and pay he will.'

 

X

 

Louis' phone rang loudly. He extended his arm from under the duvet and fished for his phone on the bedside table. He finally loacted the offending item, quickly swiping it to stop the horrible noise that was filling his sleep deprived brain.

''Ello,' he mumbled into the phone, still face down in his pillow.

'Mr. Tomlinson, this is Officer Collins calling to ask if you can come down to the station to see if you can identify the shooting suspect that was brought from Doncaster.' Louis blinked in the darkness. Who? What? Then it all came flooding back. Harry had been shot! He was in hospital! He had been operated on! The suspect! He sat up quickly, blinking and rubbing his eyes as he tried to make sense of what the officer was telling him.

'Mr. Tomlinson?'

'Yes um sorry yeah I was um....what time do you want me to come down?'

'Will now do?'

'What time is it?' Louis asked. He felt disoriented. How long had he been asleep? He needed to get to Harry.

'A little after three in the afternoon,' the officer informed him.

'Ah yes alright, I will be down shortly. Thank you.' He ended the call and yawned. He couldn't even remember falling asleep! He got up feeling very tired, his body ached, his muscles ached. His face ached! Everything ached. He flipped on the light and looked around the room. The room had been cleaned and the bed had been made before he had been dumped in it. He hadn't been in their room for the past five days. He looked around the room and Harry's presence was greatly felt and missed. His things were here. His smell was here! Louis couldn't stand being in this room without him. He turned, opened the door and walked out. He padded downstairs still in his scrubs and found Marc having tea with Judy, Leonard, Cal and Angus.

'Sir,' Judy greeted him, 'how are you feeling? Did you rest?' Louis rubbed his eyes then winced when his fingers touched his swollen eye. He pulled out a stool and sat down.

'I slept but not enough. Can I have a cup of coffee Judy please?'

'Certainly Sir. Would you like something to eat?'

'I don't have time,' Louis replied. 'The police just called and I have to go down to the station to identify this suspect they have, see if he's anyone my dad would know.'

'Louis you have to eat,' Marc scolded him. 'And have your face looked at! That son of a bitch got you pretty bad.'

'I will eat at the hospital. I have to get back to Harry. My face will have to wait.'

'How is Harry Sir?' Angus asked him. Louis sighed as he took the cup of coffee from Judy. He wrapped his hands around the cup soaking up its warmth.

'He's....he's recovering. He woke up for a little bit but he's in a lot of pain so the doctor increased his morphine in take so he can be comfortable. He went right back to sleep. She said sleeping is what's best for him now.' Marc looked at him.

'Does Harry know what happened to him?' Louis nodded as he took a sip of coffee.

'Dr. Yang told him. He cried. Asked why.' Louis swallowed his pain. It pained him to hear Harry's broken voice ask who had done this to him and why? He pushed back the stool and got up.

'Cal I'm going for a shower and then please drive me down to the station.'

'I'm coming with you,' Marc said as he got up. 

'For a shower?' Louis asked him perplexed. Marc rolled his eyes.

'I will blame your tried brain for assuming I want to shower with you chere` but no not for a shower but to the station. You need support and I'm here to support you all the way darling.' Louis gave him a small smile and left.

 

Half an hour later, Louis was freshly showered and dressed in his own clothes, sat in the back of the SUV with Marc as Cal and another security drove them down to the station. He packed a bag for Harry : his toiletries, his phone, some clothes and a few pairs of his fuzzy socks to keep his feet warm. It didn't take long to get the police station and Louis was shown into a room with a one way mirror where a man sat slouched in a chair. He had long greasy dark hair, a goatee and was dressed in combat pants, a green long sleeve t-shirt, a combat waistcoat and army boots. Louis looked at the man's profile who sat there looking bored, drumming his fingers on the table as if he wasn't there as a suspect in a shooting.

'Do you recognize him?' Collins asked him.

'I can't see his face properly. I can only see his profile.' Collins nodded then pressed a button in an intercom on the wall.

'Barnes, get suspect to stand with his back against the wall and face the mirror.' A few minutes passed and the suspect was standing with the back against the wall, smirking at the mirror. His hands shook. Louis looked closely but he did not recognize him. He didn't know this man.

'I've never seen him before in my life,' Louis told Collins.

'Are you sure Mr. Tomlinson?' Louis looked closer. The man was just a man in his fifties, a plain man, a drunk probably from the way his hands were shaking. Louis was about to say that no, he did not know the man when the man suddenly pushed the sleeves of his top up to his elbows because he complained that the room was too hot and Louis froze, his eyes still on the man's inner forearm. He remembered that tattoo clearly. When he had been face down on his mattress and the man fucked him into it, he used to look at his tattoo of Popeye the Sailor Man holding a can of spinach in one hand and a shotgun in the other and on his bicep there was tattooed “Trigger Happy”. And Louis while being fucked by this man used to think how silly it was that Popeye was holding a shot gun and had “Trigget Happy” tattooed on his bicep.

Louis took a step back, his eyes wide. Sweat beaded on his forehead. 'I know him,' he said quietly. 'He was a friend of my dad's.'

'Are you sure?' Jacobson asked him. 'Have you seen him with your dad?' Louis swallowed thickly.

'Yes. He was one of the men who...' he paused and took in a gulp of air. 'He was one of the men that raped me. He was the one that got away. I remembered all the others but he slipped my mind. I didn't know his name back then but my father used to call him Trigger.'

'But you didn't recognize his face,' Collins pointed out. Louis kept his wide eyes on the man.

'I never saw his face. He was always behind me while he raped me,' he said through gritted teeth. 'But I remember that tattoo on the inside of his forearm clearly. I used to focus on it to not think about what he was doing to me. His nickname is tattooed on Popeye's bicep. Trigger Happy. I am sure.'

'Thank you Mr. Tomlinson. We will interrogate him see if and how he had contact with your father. We will inform you of any developments.'

x

Louis arrived at the hospital feeling shaken. He went into the waiting room and found his mother, Lottie and Felicitie only. Des and Marge were sitting with Harry. Everyone else had gone. His mother gasped when she saw his face.

'Oh my God Louis what happened to you?' she asked him.

'It's nothing mum. I'm alright. Don't worry. Just an accident.'

'Did you accidentally collide with someone's fist cos that looks like a fist to me,' Lottie pointed out.

'Was it Zayn?' Fizzy asked. Louis sighed. No use lying to his family. His shoulders sagged.

'He needed to vent. He was mad at me and its alright. I had it coming.'

'Louis no,' his mother told him. 'It's not right that he hits you.' Louis sighed again, heavier.

'Mum please, let it go. Its done. My face will heal. It's nothing compared to what Harry has.' Johanna gave him a sympathetic look.

How are you holding up?' she asked him tenderly.

'I'm alright.'

'Did you sleep? Eat?'

'I slept a bit but didn't eat.' Before she could say anything, Louis looked at her with teary eyes. 'I screwed up mum. I lost everyone because I screwed up. They are right to hate me.'

'Baby no,' his mother told him softly. 'They don't hate you. They are just upset and in pain too for all that has happened and you telling them your past, well it wasn't easy for them either. They might not understand your reasons for all that happened but they don't hate you.'

'They should,' he said quietly. 

'Nonsense sweetheart. No one can hate you.'

'Mum I went down to the station. I....I recognized him. He...he was one of them. One of the men dad brought for me.'

'Oh my darling,' Johanna said as she wrapped him in her arms and pulled him to her chest. 'Oh my baby.'

'When will it stop?' Louis whispered. Johanna didn't know the answer to that.

X

Bradley saw Louis entering the waiting room, so he walked towards Harry's room to tell Harry's father that Louis was here and that they needed to leave so that Louis could sit with his husband. Bradley made a mental note to see if he could get Louis a cot so that he could sleep a little more comfortably next to Harry. As he walked down the corridor, he spotted a figure that was familiar to him.

'Craig?' he said. 'Craig Blake?' Craig stopped mid step frozen to the core that somebody had recognized him. It wasn't possible! He didn't know anyone here. He looked at the man before him. Yes he knew him dammit. He had worked with him at the other hospital. Clearly he had moved up.

'Hello Bradley,' Craig greeted him with a smile.

'What are you doing here?' Bradley asked him clearly surprised to see him here. 'Are you working here? Since when?' Craig searched his mind for some explanation that would explain why he was wearing a doctor's coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

'Just part time,' Craig told him.

'Well that's wonderful. I am so happy for you. We should have coffee sometime. Catch up.' Craig nodded.

'Yes of course.' They said bye and Bradley carried on towards Harry's room, giving a nod to the two police officers on duty outside Harry's room. He opened the door and peeked his head inside.

'Mr. Styles I'm afraid time is up,' Bradley said softly. 'Mr. Tomlinson is here and he wishes to see his husband.' Des and Marge got up silently, both placing kisses on Harry's forehead as he slept on. Bradley returned to the nurse's station and flicked through the charts of the doctors on call that evening.

'Hmm,' he said to himself.

'What is it?' Shirley asked him, another nurse who worked the same shifts as Bradley.

'I don't see a Dr. Craig Blake on tonight's shift.' Shirley shrugged.

'We don't have a Dr. Blake working here,' she told him as she tapped away on the computer. 

'Yes we do. I just met him in the corridor not even ten minutes ago. He said he just started here part time,' Bradley insisted. Shirley stopped tapping on her computer and turned to look at Bradley.

'I'm pretty sure we don't have part time residents here and certainly not a Dr. Blake.' 

'Hmm,' Bradley said again. 'Can you check though?' Shirley rolled her eyes and resumed tapping on her computer. She pulled up an all employees file and clicked on it. In it were the names of every person that worked in the hospital.

'See?' she said pointing to names with the cursor. 'No part timers. No Dr. Blake.' Bradley scanned the list.

'That's weird. How come he's here then and why would he tell me he's working here if he's not?'

'Call security,' Shirley told him. 'Don't risk it.' Bradley nodded. Just as he picked up the phone, Louis rounded the corridor, talking on his phone. He waved at Bradley and Bradley waved back. Louis continued talking on his phone as he walked towards Harry's room. 

'Walt, listen I don't know how my father could've contacted that bastard. He has no one on the outside to help him,' Louis said into the phone as he nodded a greeting to the two officers standing sentry outside Harry's door. Louis continued to talk as he pushed the door open and stepped inside, letting the door fall closed behind him. He looked at Harry and was surprised to see a male doctor, his back to Louis, fiddling with Harry's IV.

'Excuse me,' Louis said. 'You are not my husband's doctor. Hold Walt.' The doctor froze and slowly turned to face Louis. Louis took in a sharp in take of breath.

'What the fuck are you doing here?' he hissed. 'Get the fuck away from him!' 

'Hello Louis,' Craig said calmly. He was holding a syringe to Harry's IV.

'Step away from Harry. Now. The police are outside,' Louis warned him. Craig chuckled.

'By the time you alert the police he will be dead so if I were you I wouldn't do any rash movements. Put your phone down. Now.' Louis put his phone face down on a chair, thanking God that Walter was still on the line and could hear everything.

'What are you going to do to Harry?' Craig shrugged.

'Nothing. Just insert air into his IV. He will die peacefully in his sleep.' Louis gulped and slowly raised his hands in supplication.

'Please don't! Why are you doing this? Why him?' Craig laughed softly.

'Because you have hurt people and you deserve the pain that you gave out and the only pain that would cripple you is if you lose Harry.'

'He didn't do anything to you! Did you have him shot?' Craig shrugged again.

'Let's say it was a team effort,' he said calmly.

'Team? Who are you working with? Please, hurt me just don't hurt him. You...you liked him. You wanted to be his boyfriend. Please....'

'Shut up!' Craig hissed. 'Yes I liked him. I liked him a lot until he turned into you. Until he thought it right that you should get away with inflicting pain and he took your side. Until he let you fuck him in his bedroom when he was supposed to be with me.' Louis swallowed thickly.

'Craig please, lower the syringe. Let's talk.'

On the end of the other line, Walter was hearing everything that was being said in Harry's hospital room. He quickly dialed the police and informed them what was going on. His call was quickly radioed in to the two officers outside Harry's door who burst into the room their guns drawn.

'Put the syringe down now and raise your hands in the air,' one of the officers said, making Louis jump. Craig looked at them with wide eyes.

'One move and I swear to God I will plunge air into him and he will die,' he threatened. The second officer took a step further into the room.

'Put it down right now,' he warned.

'Please Craig don't hurt him,' Louis begged him. 

'Step back all of you. Get out!' Craig screamed at them. There was commotion out in the corridor. The door opened again and Agent Booth stepped in, taking in the scene.

'Dr. Blake,' he said calmly, 'I am Agent Booth with the FBI. I am going to take out my badge,' he said as he took it out and showed it to him. 

'How do you know who I am?' Craig asked him sounding scared that the FBI actually knew who he was.

'Your friend Bradley told me. Put the syringe down and we can talk.'

'There's nothing to talk about. He has to pay for what he has done.'

'Who?' Booth asked him.

'Him!' Craig almost screamed pointing at Louis.

'Step away from Harry and we can talk,' Booth told him. Craig clenched his teeth together.

'No. I'm doing this for my brother!' It all happened too quickly that Louis didn't even have time to register what happened but there was a loud shot in the room which made his ears ring and Craig fell, ripping the IV out of Harry's hand, blood flying everywhere, his heart monitor beeped loudly and an alarm was ringing. Louis ran towards Harry who was still blissfully pulled under by the morphine.

'Help!' Louis yelled as the officers cuffed Craig who had been shot by Booth and was screaming on the floor. 'Somebody help!' Bradley rushed in followed by Dr. Yang and Dr. Evans. They pushed Louis out of the way and crowded around Harry. Craig was handcuffed and dragged out of the room by the two officers, bleeding from his shoulder and shouting out that Louis was a rapist and that he had raped Harry and his brother and that he should be locked up and made to pay for what he had done and that he had proof that could incriminate him and send his to prison but nobody took notice of his accusations or even cared. Louis didn't pay attention to him. His eyes were on Harry and the doctors that were working on him. The alarms screeched and the beeping of Harry's machine was loud and insistent.

'Please please,' Louis whispered. He felt so scared and afraid. Suddenly the beeping stopped and the alarm stopped and the room was deathly quiet and he felt his heart drop to his toes and his blood turn to ice. His mouth went dry and he stopped breathing as he looked on as they worked on Harry. There was blood on the sheets. Lots of it.

'Mr. Tomlinson,' Dr. Yang said and Louis couldn't focus on her voice because she was going to tell him that Harry died.

'No. No. Nonononono please no,' he whispered.

'Mr. Tomlinson, he's alright. Breathe Mr. Tomlinson.' But her words weren't registering. In his mind Harry died and he didn't want to hear her say the words. 

'No,' he whispered before he passed out.

When Louis came to, he was lying down with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. At first he didn't know what was happening then he remembered and he went to sit up but a pair of hands gently held him down. He struggled.

'Louis I need you to calm down,' Dr. Evans told him. 'You had a nasty shock and the stress of the past few days have caught up with you. Your body needs you to calm down. I am going to remove the mask okay.' He nodded. When it was off, he looked at Dr. Evans.

'Harry?' he asked. She gave him a small smile.

'He's alright. Still sleeping.' Louis sighed and sagged a little.

'There was so much blood,' he said.

'His IV was torn out of his hand so it was natural for blood to spurt out like that. His vitals are all good. No damage has been done to him but it was a very close call. If you hadn't entered the room when you did,' she paused and let it hang in the air because Louis knew that if he hadn't arrived in time, Harry would be dead. He sat up and slid off the table he was laid out on.

'I need to see him,' he said. Dr. Evans nodded.

'He's next door.' Louis hurried out of the room on shaky legs and entered Harry's room. Dr. Yang was with him and offered Louis a smile as he entered.

'Just in time,' she told him. 'He's waking up.' Louis moved closer to the bed and watched Harry's eyelashes flutter like a delicate butterfly, then his eyes slowly opened. They were hazy and unfocused, searching but they finally rested on him, those beautiful green eyes recognizing him.

'Lou,' he croaked out, his voice hoarse from misuse. Louis cupped his face in both hands.

'I'm here sweetheart I'm here.' Harry licked his dry lips.

'Water,' he said. Louis looked at Dr. Yang and she nodded to a cup with a straw on the table. Louis picked it up and brought it to Harry, placing the straw to his lips. Harry sucked gently. When he was done, Louis took the cup away.

'How are you feeling?' Louis asked him. Harry closed his eyes and took in a small shallow breath.

'Everything hurts,' he rasped out. 'Breathing hurts a lot.' Louis looked at Dr. Yang.

'It's normal at this stage. He has broken ribs, a broken collarbone, he lost half a lung and we cracked open his chest. It was basically open heart surgery so yes all that he'e feeling is all consistent with his injuries and the surgery that's why I suggest another dose of morphine so you can sleep.' Harry looked at her.

'No. Please....I....I want some time with my husband,' he said slowly and lowly, his voice barely above a whisper. Louis placed a kiss on his forehead.

'Honey let the good doctor give you some morphine. I don't want you in pain. I'm going to be right here. I'm even going to sleep here tonight next to you. Bradley brought me a cot.'

'Who....who's Bradley?' Harry asked. Louis smiled.' W-what happened to your face?'

'He is a very lovely nurse who has been taking care of the both of us. You'll meet him when you wake up again. And nothing happened to my face. I fell. Just an accident love.'

'I miss you,' Harry croaked.

'Oh my darling I miss you too but you need to heal. Please let her?' Harry closed his eyes and nodded then opened them again.

'I love you,' he whispered. Louis leaned over him and pecked his lips.

'I love you too sweetheart.' But Harry didn't hear him because the morphine had pulled him under before Louis had even finished his words. As Harry slept again, Louis slid his wedding ring back onto his finger then settled down on the chair beside him.

 

X

 

Louis spent the next few days at the hospital by Harry's side, watching him wake up for a few minutes at a time. Dr. Yang was reducing his morphine dosage as she wanted him to start being awake and alert but the pain was still too much for him. He tired to stay awake but Louis couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain so much so that he would beg Dr. Yang to give him another dose of morphine that would him relax and ease into peaceful sleep. Louis couldn't bear to hear him cry out in pain or ask him how he got the black eye and bruises on his face. He couldn't tell him not that Zayn had jumped him after he had told them that he had raped and beaten their friend! He knew he would have to tell him eventually because Harry, even though heavy on morphine, would not forget to ask him about it.

Louis sat beside his bed with his Mac Book trying to catch up on work since he couldn't yet go into the office. Lynn updated him on all that had been happening for the past eight days since he had been away. He took a few video calls and an online conference, immersing himself back into his business but his focus was Harry. Lynn had popped over a few times, meeting him in the waiting room long enough for him to sign a few documents and for her to inquire after Harry. 

Louis only left Harry's bedside for small amounts of time while his family or Harry's dad visited. It was the only time he would allow himself to go and eat, usually accompanied by Marc who watched him like a hawk and made sure that he ate. After Louis had revealed his past to Harry's family and friends, things had changed. Des seemed to understand him and was sympathetic, however he could not understand why Harry was the one who had to suffer for Louis' past and thus had become a little distant with Louis.They still didn't have all the details regarding the shooting or why Craig had sneaked into Harry's room under false pretenses and had threatened to kill him.

After the failed attack on Harry, Louis had explained who Craig was to Des the best he could. He hadn't gone into detail about the rape itself, choosing only to drop hints about what had happened, trying as hard as he could to shield Des from the awful truth that had befallen his son. After all, how could you possibly tell your husband's father that you had savagely and brutally raped and beaten his son? He told him as much as he could, how Craig had blackmailed him and how Harry had stood up for him in the hearing and the reasons why Harry had to leave London and return back home. And Des had cried. He had cried for all that his son had been through alone, all the pain, the suffering and heartache and when he had returned home seeking refuge and comfort from all the pain, he had added further grief and pain by pushing him away and saying all those hurtful words to him. It made his heartache when he remembered how Harry had begged him to love him! Des cried harder imagining what he had put his son through.

After their talk, their relationship became strained. It was hard for Des to come to terms with the fact that his son had been raped and that he had married the man who had raped him. And Louis could only blame himself for the way Des chose to shy away from him. How could he fault Des or Harry's friends? He knew what they saw when they looked at him now. They didn't see Harry's husband that loved him with every cell and fiber of his being. No, they saw his rapist.

Liam, Zayn, Niall, Shawn and Ed had come to visit Harry too. Marc had been assigned spokesperson and middleman for the group to deal with all communication between them and Louis. Marc had informed Louis on behalf of the group that they had expressed the need for him to not be there when they visited Harry. His first and foremost instinct was to fight them and tell them to fuck off, that Harry was his husband and that he would not leave his bedside to accommodate them but he thought of Harry and how much he loved his friends. Harry needed them now more than ever so Louis wouldn't be selfish and keep them away from him. He wouldn't isolate Harry and keep him to himself so with the help of Marc, they had set up a schedule of the times they wished to visit Harry so that he could slip out and go sit in the hospital cafeteria while they visited him. Harry had been awake for a little bit during their visits and Louis was happy that Harry got to see how loved he was.

The police were still investigating the case and even thought Louis' people had been calling and requesting information as to whether Dr. Blake was behind the shooting and whether there was going to be a formal arrest made, the police refused to give out any information saying that the investigation was on going and the evidence so far was inconclusive. They did tell Louis' people that Dr. Blake would be charged with attempted murder but so far there was no concrete evidence that he was connected to the shooting.

Louis was engrossed typing on his laptop when he heard a small groan coming from Harry. He looked up and saw Harry waking up. Louis closed the laptop and placed it on the table then got up and walked over to Harry bending over him and caressing his hair.

'Lou,' Harry groaned.

'I'm here baby. How are you feeling?' Harry closed his eyes then opened them again as if assessing what he was feeling.

'Sore,' he said. The door opened and Dr. Yang walked in.

'Oh looks who's awake. How are you feeling Harry?'

'Sore,' Harry croaked. His throat hurt and it was dry. Louis looked at her.

'Can I give him some water?' Dr. Yang nodded and Louis brought the cup with the straw to Harry's lips. Harry drank while Dr. Yang checked his vitals.

'Well, all seems good and you are making good progress. I have to leave back to Zurich but I will be back in two weeks in time to have your stitches removed and we will have another scan to make sure everything inside you is fine. I am going to decrease your morphine intake. We don't want to get you dependent. Plus, I think your husband and your family would like you more awake don't you think?' Harry smiled at her but it looked more like a grimace.

'On a scale of one to ten how much is your pain?'

'Nine,' Harry whispered. Louis stroked his hair back gently and fondly.

'It will get better Harry. You are healing. You are recovering and the body takes time. You flatlined three times so consider yourself very lucky. I have left instructions with Dr. Evans and she will administer your morphine and make sure that you are recovering as you should. Is there any questions you would like to ask me? I am leaving this afternoon.' Harry shook his head slightly at Louis.

'Not at the moment,' Louis told her as he reached out his hand for her to shake. 'Thank you for everything you have done for us.' She shook his hand with a firm grip.

'I will see you in two weeks then.' She squeezed Harry's forearm. 'Get better.' She walked out of the room, letting the door close softly behind her. Louis caressed his cheek.

'Is the pain too much baby?' he asked him. Harry closed his eyes for a brief moment then opened them again.

'It is a bit especially my chest area,' he rasped.

'Yes they had to open you up sweetheart,' Louis told him. Harry looked at him, his green eyes a little dazed.

'Where...where was I shot?' he asked him softly. Louis bit his lower lip but he knew that he had to answer his questions.

'A little below the bird on your left side. It was very close to your heart honey. I don't know what guardian angel saved you but I wish I knew who they were so I could send them a gift basket,' Louis said, a small smile on his lips. 'Bradley told me that miracles happen, he's seen them happen and I'm convinced a miracle happened to you.' Harry swallowed.

'I...I saw my mum Lou,' he said. Louis squeezed his hand and tried not to cry in front of him. Harry licked his dry lips. 'She was so beautiful Lou. She held me and I wanted to stay with her but she told me that I had to come back because you were sad without me.' Louis felt a lump choke him.

'That I was,' he said. Harry took in a breath and screwed up his face as a groan left his parted lips. Louis could see the pain on his face.

'She...she was at the wedding Lou. She was there. She told me she's proud of me and that she likes you Lou and told you....she told you to....take care of me....' He paused and squeezed Louis' hand. It was a tiny squeeze as he didn't have much strength. 'She...she told me to tell dad that she's proud of him and that she's....she's okay with him and Marge. Lou she....she seemed happy and glowing and....' Harry trailed off as his eyes slipped closed and he fell asleep again. Louis couldn't hold his tears. They slipped down his cheeks. He placed as kiss on Harry's forehead, keeping his lips against his warm skin.

'I'll take care of him. I promise Anne. I'll take care of your baby. I'm sorry he got hurt but I'll take care of him. Thank you for sending him back and protecting him. I know it was you. I know it.' He kissed him again then sat down still holding his hand and watched him sleep.

He didn't know how long he sat there but he must have dozed off because he woke up with a start when the door opened. Louis sat up in his chair startled. Harry was awake and looking at him. The nurse entered rolling in a small trolley.

'Time for a sponge bath for you,' she told Harry with a smile. 'A warm bath does wonders for a healing patient.' She set about setting the small basin of warm water on the table, a cloth and soap. Harry looked at Louis and shook his head slightly mouthing “please no” at him. Louis cleared his throat.

'Excuse me,' he said, getting the nurse's attention.

'Yes love?' she asked him still setting about the items she needed to give Harry his sponge bath.

'I would like to wash my husband myself if that's okay,' he told her. Harry blushed hard and looked down. He didn't want anyone to touch him or see him naked.

'Oh of course love. Just mind his IV, his cathetar and his bandages. Don't get any of his dressings wet alright because we can't change them for now. I'll leave you to it then and when you are ready just ring the bell okay.' Louis thanked her and the nurse left. He looked at Harry.

'Are you okay with me doing it sweetheart?'

'Yes,' Harry said. Louis pushed up the sleeves of his sweater and picked up a bag he had by the bed.

'I picked you up some stuff from home,' he told him, 'so you can feel better quicker.' Louis took out a Diptyque candle, put it on Harry's bed side table and lit it. Then he took out Harry's favorite lavender bath oil, his body lotion, face moisturizer, lip balm and a razor. He knew that Harry didn't like facial hair. Harry gave him a small smile.

'I also got you some dry shampoo since you can't wash your hair for the time being and I know how your curls go crazy when they are not washed.'

'Thank you,' Harry rasped. 'Can you close the curtain too please?' 

'Sure my baby,' Louis told him as he pulled the curtain around the bed closed. Louis removed the top sheet and blanket off Harry and was surprised to find him totally naked underneath the thin hospital gown. Louis removed the gown carefully and put it on the chair then took the flannel and dipped it in warm water, squeezed it out and wiped Harry's face, neck and shoulders gently and softly. He wiped carefully around the dressings on his chest. Harry looked down.

'Have they....have they ruined my tattoos?' he asked. Louis looked closely.

'No sweetheart. They made the incision from between your birds to the top of your butterfly. You tattoos are all still intact.' Harry nodded. He looked pensive. 'What is it baby?' Louis asked him.

'I'm going to have a big scar.' Louis continued to wipe him down with the warm flannel.

'You can have cosmetic surgery to have it covered,' Louis suggested. He lowered the sheet to below his knees. He wiped down his stomach, belly, laurel tattoos and hip bones. He rinsed out the flannel and wiped up his thighs, his inner thighs. Louis held his breath as he washed between his legs gently, carefully.

'Lou,' Harry rasped. Louis looked at him. 'Its not working. I'm not working....down there,' he said softly. Louis got the meaning of what Harry was saying.

'Sweetheart your body has other things to do then to get aroused just because I'm washing you. Its busy healing you.' Harry looked at him with sad eyes.

'But usually when you touch me, I....you know, it works. What if...what if I'm broken?' Louis chuckled.

'You're not broken baby.'

'You were touching me....there and nothing happened.' Louis leaned over and placed a kiss on his chapped lips.

'You are fine my darling and even if you were broken, I would still love you and want to be with you. I didn't marry you for your dick I'll have you know. I married you for the beautiful soul that you are. Your dick is just a bonus.' Harry laughed but soon it turned into a groan of pain.

'Don't make me laugh. I can't....God it hurts.'

'Sorry sorry,' Louis said quickly kissing him again. 'Let's get this done shall we and stop worrying about your dick. I'm pretty sure that when we are home alone, just you and I, it will perk up.' Harry smiled through the pain as Louis continued to wash him. Finally, he shaved the little bit of facial hair on his upper lip and chin. When he was done, he applied lotion to his body to keep his skin from getting dry. He applied dry shampoo to his hair and brushed it out, his curls looking much more under control. Finally he moisturized his face and applied some lip balm to keep his lips from cracking. When he was all done, he dressed Harry in a fresh hospital gown, a pair of his fluffy socks and covered him with the sheet and blanket.

'Feel a bit better?' Louis asked him.

'Yes thank you,' Harry said, his eyes already drooping shut. He was out like a light but it was the first night that Harry wasn't given the full dose of morphine and it was a fitful night for both. Harry kept waking up occasionally in pain, crying out, the nurses doing their best to keep him comfortable and Louis wishing he could do something to take away his pain.

X

A few days later found Harry doing a little bit better. He had the bed raised a little so he was in a sitting position. His feeding IV had been removed and he had been allowed to eat small amounts of food. He only had an antibiotic IV and the heart monitor attached to him. According to Dr. Evans, if he continued with this progress, in a few days time she would allow him down from the bed and let him use the toilet and sit in the chair for a little while. 

Louis had bought him some silk pyjamas and even though he couldn't wear pants yet, he could wear the shirt. Louis had buttoned it up for him to cover the dressing which still seemed to upset Harry a little bit. 

It was now almost ten days after the shooting and Louis was sitting on the bed next to Harry's thighs feeding him strawberry jelly. The door opened and Bradley walked in. Louis had introduced him to Harry and Harry had taken a liking to him right away as did Bradley.

'How's the jelly?' Bradley asked him with a smile.

'Yummy,' Harry replied. 'And having it fed to me is even better.'

'He's spoiling you,' Bradley told him winking at Louis as he checked Harry's antibiotic IV. Louis smiled at him.

'I love spoiling him,' he told him as he pushed another teaspoon of jelly between Harry's red stained lips then kissed him, tasting the flavor on his own lips.

'Louis, the police and your lawyer are here to see you. They asked me if they could come in. There's the FBI agent with them too.' Louis looked at Harry and Harry looked back at him then they both looked at Bradley.

Um yeah let them in,' Louis said putting the jelly cup away. Bradley hesitated.

'I don't want them getting Harry overworked. He needs to stay calm and relaxed. I don't want him stressed out.' Louis nodded and got up off the bed, standing beside Harry ready for whatever was coming.

'He won't. They probably just have some questions for him as its the first day he's been fully awake and off morphine so he's coherent. I'll make sure they won't stress him out.' Bradley nodded and exited the room. After a short while the door opened again and Collins and Jacobson entered, followed by Walter and Agent Booth. They all looked at Harry.

'Mr. Tomlinson, how are you feeling? Glad to see you are awake,' Jacobson asked him.

'Better thank you,' Harry said, 'and please call me Harry.'

'What can we do for you?' Louis asked them. There was a brief pause, then officer Collins spoke up.

'We've had a break in your case,' he said. Louis took Harry's hand and squeezed it but they both said nothing just kept looking at the officer in anticipation.

'Mr. Tomlinson,' Collins began addressing Louis, 'your father was the mastermind behind the attack on your husband.' Louis had known all along that this was coming. He had known deep down in his heart and in the back of his mind that it had been his father but he had rejected it, hoping that his father wasn't that cruel of a man but it turned out that he was. Still, it sent a shock throughout his entire body. Harry felt him sag against him as if the life had been punched out of him. Harry tugged him closer to him.

'They all know each other,' Collins continued. 'Your father knows the middle man and the sniper. It was Dr. Blake who arranged it all.' Louis was shaking and he could literally feel his heart breaking in his chest.

'How?' he whispered.

'We contacted the warden to double check and make sure that your father had no outside contacts, that he got no visitors, no mail, no phone calls, nothing and the warden confirmed that no, your father had no contacts at all. He hardly had any contacts with the inmates. He told us that the only contact he had was with the infirmary doctor so we decided to investigate that lead. We asked the name of the doctor and it turned out that the prison doctor was Craig Blake.'

'Oh my God,' Louis whispered brokenly. 'So he was my father's contact to the outside world? To us?'

'Yes he was,' Officer Jacboson replied. 'We have people down at Leeds Prison as we speak interrogating your father and investigating Craig Blake. Apparently, the doctor falsely diagnosed your father with a heart condition which enabled him to make frequent visitors to the infirmary which was how they communicated and plotted their plan.' Harry looked up at Louis who looked very pale.

'Why would Craig do all this?' he whispered sadly. Louis only shook his head because he honestly didn't know why Craig would take it this far as to plot with his father to have Harry killed. Was he really that bitter because Harry had stood up for him in that hearing? It was impossible that he wanted Harry dead because Harry hadn't chosen him over Louis! Nobody killed somebody because of that did they? Did he hate them that much that he would team up with his father and do his dirty bidding to have Harry killed?

'Has he confessed to all of this?' Louis asked, his voice strained.

'He has,' Collins confirmed. 'At first he didn't so we picked up the middle man, a certain Sid McKay, ex military. Served with both your father and Horace Jones, the sniper. They were in the same platoon back in ninety one during Operation Desert storm so they go way back. Sid is blind, injured by a shrapnel blast back in Iraq. When we questioned him obviously he couldn't identify the suspect but when we pressed him he told us that he had been approached by someone who told him that he had a job for him. He told Sid that he needed to contact “Trigger Happy” because “Shadow” was collecting and needed a job done. Turns out “Trigger Happy” is Horace Jones and “Shadow” is your father's army nickname which was given to him by his platoon for his stealth and how the enemy never saw him coming because he overtook them like a shadow. Obviously Sid couldn't do a visual recognition of our suspect but he identified his voice when we made Dr. Blake speak and he also said that the man that had approached him with the job had a distinct hospital smell.' Collins paused and looked at his partner who continued :

'So Blake finally admitted to what they had done. According to his statement he and your father wanted to pay you back for grievances you have caused them so they decided that the best way to pay you back wasn't by eliminating you as that wasn't pay back enough. In his own words, they wanted you to suffer, they wanted you to go crazy with pain so they decided that they would eliminate your husband. Turns out their plan failed when they didn't know that “Trigger Happy” is an alcoholic and is in the first stages of Parkinson's so his shot is very off.'

'My husband was hit!' Louis growled out. 'He didn't miss.'

'Mr .Tomlinson,' Booth interrupted. 'Trust me, he missed. A sniper never misses a head shot. He did a lot of damage to your husband but he survived a sniper's shrapnel shot and that's a lot to thank God for.' Louis looked from one face to the other as if he was in some kind of nightmare and just wanted to wake up. He looked down at Harry then back at the officers.

'But pay me for what? My father got what he deserved for what he did to me and my family but Craig?' Collins straightened himself and Louis knew he was ready to deliver something unpleasant.

'He confessed that he wants to pay you back for what you did to your husband and for his brother.' Harry looked at Collins.

'Louis did nothing to me Officer. There was a hearing and we established it that Louis was innocent . Those accusations were false,' Harry told him. Collins looked at him with a doubtful expression.

'We will have to see about that,' he simply said. Harry looked at him through narrowed eyes.

'You are not seriously thinking of opening up our case again are you?' he asked in disbelief. Collin's partner also straightened himself.

'Mr. Tomlinson, we have to investigate every avenue in this inquiry. Accusations have been made and we have to follow through. If you lied under oath and your husband did violate you....'

'He did not!' Harry said angrily getting agitated. 'Its all fabricated lies from a sick mind. Open up the case again and I will repeat what I said back then again. Louis did not...he never...' he stopped and breathed heavily and Louis could see that it was hard for him to breath. He rubbed his back.

'Easy love. Please don't get agitated.' Harry took in a few deep breaths and it hurt. His chest hurt but he managed to calm down.

'Harry its alright,' Walter intervened. 'That's a closed case. Not relevant to this case therefore I don't see a reason why the police should go back to re-opening a closed case just to appease this criminal. I do not see how it would be responsible of them to waste the crown's resources on such things. You gave enough evidence during that hearing and the judge exonerated Louis. Don't worry about it. I will see that it will remain closed.' Both officers gave Walter a doubtful look as if telling him “we'll have to see about that.”

'You mentioned a brother. What about it?' Louis asked. 'What does his brother have to do with any of this?' Collins flipped through his notebook.

'Mr. Blake's brother is a Ryan Rodriguez who is now serving a sentence for kidnapping and bodily harming your husband,' Collins said and watched Louis and Harry's mouth fall open.

'Ryan is Craig's brother?' Louis asked clearly shocked. 

'Yes,' the other officer confirmed. 'I take it you know Mr. Rodriguez?' Louis swallowed thickly.

'Louis you have the right not to answer,' Walter advised him. 'This is irrelevant to your case.' He turned to the officers. 'Officers we are here to solve the attempted murder on Mr. Tomlinson's life which you have done so I do not understand why all this has to be dredged up.'

'Mr. Blake said that his brother is in prison because of Mr. Tomlinson and their business arrangement that went wrong. What business arrangement Mr. Tomlinson?' Louis choked on his own saliva.

'Didn't he...didn't he tell you?' he asked. 

'He did mention something but we would like to hear your version of things,' Collins pressed.

'My client is in within his rights not to disclose any business arrangements he has had with his former client. That would be unprofessional and like I have already stated, I don't see how all this is relevant to this case. My clients are the victims here. Mr. Rodriguez was found guilty and sentenced. We will not go down that road again. Now officers, if you are done here, my client is recuperating from being shot and we would like you very much to have those responsible behind bars and I would like to be notified when their hearing for sentencing will be. Good day gentlemen.' Walter dismissed them though both officers kept their doubtful eyes on Louis and Harry.

'You will hear from us again,' Collins said as they turned to leave.

'You will not haress my clients unless it is related to their case and their case only. Anything else you might want to dicuss, please feel free to contact my office and have me secretary arrange an appointment with me.' The two officers and Booth filed out of the room. Louis and Harry collapsed into each other, one holding the other, offering comfort and support even though they were both broken and shocked.

'Louis, Harry, do not talk to anyone without me present,' Walter advised them.

'They know,' Louis whispered from the crook of Harry's neck. 'They know all about me.' Harry hugged him tighter.

'Shh shh baby it will be alright,' Harry soothed him hugging him tighter.

'Louis,' Walter said, 'they only know what Blake said. Ryan is still bound by the NDA and he cannot speak up about it without being sued. I will personally see to that. He already broke the clause by sharing with his brother so you already have grounds to sue. But and I mean but, if they investigate you, which by the way you were doing nothing illegal. It was all consensual by all parties involved, I will shut it down. Don't worry about it. You have enough on your plate to deal with.' Louis buried his face deeper into Harry's neck.

'As soon as they arrest my father, it will all come out. My past. Everything will be out in the media. My private life will be out,' he said, his voice muffled by Harry's warm skin. Harry rubbed his back up and down, comforting him.

'We will deal with the media. Get your PR people ready to deflate as much of it as they can. Do not talk to anyone. No interviews. Confirm nothing. Say nothing.'

'Craig and my father will talk to the media. They want to destroy me and they will talk. They will expose me.' Walter was about to say something but Harry raised his hand behind Louis' back to stop him. He pulled out of the hug and looked at Louis.

'Is it such a bad thing love?' Harry asked him. Louis looked at him a little perplexed.

'Harry, if my father talks, the world will know that I have been raped and beaten. That I went to juvie for attempted murder. That I was a...a prostitute. My reputation. My business. Everything will be on the line. I will be exposed and talked about. I...I can't...I....no.' Harry cupped his face and placed a kiss on his lips.

'Not if we beat them to it,' Harry said giving Louis a smile. Louis blinked. And blinked again.

'Harry what? What are you talking about?' Harry gave him his dimpled smile.

'Let me write a book about your life. Before I got shot, I was thinking of writing a book. My first novel. Let me write it. Let me write your life. I can write a biography instead of a novel. We can tell the truth of how it really was and can you imagine a person like you with this past what influence you can be to boys and young men who are suffering your same fate in silence? Louis, you can turn this to your advantage. If we do this right, you can be a voice for those who are silently suffering rapes and violations and being exploited as sex workers, sold into the sex trade. Men suffer in silence. I mean look at you. You are ashamed of having been raped and of having been a prostitute. You suffered in silence and you still are. You can do so much good if you let me write your story.' Louis looked at him in disbelief.

'You....you want to write my biography?' Harry gave him another dimpled smile.

'If you'll let me,' he said. Louis chewed on his bottom lip.

'Everyone will know,' he whispered. 'The world will know and they will look at me differently.'

'Yes they might,' Harry agreed. 'But as Tyrion Lannister said....never forget what you are.The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.' Louis looked at his beautiful husband with wide eyes full of love and adoration.

'What did I do to deserve you?' he asked him.

'Is that a yes?' Harry asked. Louis looked at Walter. Walter shrugged and gave him a smile and a nod of approval.

'I guess it is,' Louis said. Harry leaned over and hugged him tightly.

'Right, I need my laptop, a publisher and my friends and father because we have unfinished business that we need to sort out with them.' Louis pulled back and captured his lips in a loving kiss.

'I adore you,' he whispered against his lips. 'Walter, draw up contracts and rights for Harry's book and find us a good publisher. Tell them my husband is writing my biography.'

'You are going to have publishers fighting to publish your book,' Walter told them happily. 'Great idea Harry and Louis, you are doing the right thing. The world won't be ready for you and you are going to shake it's foundation.' Walter left and they found themselves alone. Louis kissed him again.

'We are doing this,' he told Harry as he rested his forehead against his.

'We are,' Harry agreed. 'We will do it in style and avoid lies being spread about you. And think of all the good you will do. You will inspire boys and men to speak up and seek help and not be ashamed of what they are going through. That its okay to speak up.' Harry paused and ran his fingers through his hair. 'But first, lets make things right with our friends and my father. What Zayn did to you was not okay and I need to have my say.'

 

x

Later that afternoon, Harry sat in bed, propped up against a few pillows behind his back dressed in a new silk lavender pyjama shirt buttoned up to hide the dressings on his chest. Louis brought him a blanket from home which he draped over his legs and waist. The sun streamed in through the window and cast soft light on Harry's lap. He fidgeted with his fingers as he chewed on his bottom lip.

'Stop it,' Louis admonished him softly.

'I'm nervous,' Harry admitted.

'They are your friends and your father,' Louis told him. 'They love you. They will be okay with you.' Harry raised his head and met Louis' blue eyes.

'They can't love me if they don't love you Louis. That's a given. I will not allow it. You were kind enough to tell them. You didn't have to but you did and what Zayn did.' Harry paused and shook his head. Louis gave him a soft smile.

'Sweetheart, don't do this. They have every right to be mad at me.'

'No they don't!' Harry pressed. 'They don't have a right to judge you or be mad at you. This is our life Louis. Us. Our life. They have no business passing judgements about you or what we have been through together. They can't be okay with one and not okay with the other.' Harry stopped, his breathing a little heavy.

'Hey hey calm down. I don't want you getting worked up okay. Are you going to be calm or shall I tell Bradley to send them away?' Harry calmed down his breathing wincing a little at the pain in his chest.

'I'll be calm,' he said pouting a little.

'Does it hurt a lot when you breathe?' Louis asked him concerned. Harry shook his head a little.

'A bit. Feels like I have a lot of pressure on my chest.' Louis placed a kiss on his pouting lips.

'That's why Dr. Yang told you to take it easy and use your inhaler if you ever get out of breath. Don't put strain on your lungs.'

'Lung and a half,' Harry corrected. Louis grinned.

'Ever the joker aren't you?' The door opened and Bradley looked in.

'Your tribe is here to visit,' he announced with a smile. Louis looked at Harry.

'Are you sure you're okay to see them?' he asked him warily.

'I am,' Harry assured him. Louis nodded.

'Send them in,' he told Bradley. Louis got up off the bed and stood beside Harry holding his hand. The door opened again and Des entered, followed by Niall, Shawn, Liam and Zayn. They all looked a little too somber for Harry's liking. Harry cleared his throat.

'I think you all know why I asked to see you all together. Bradley had to bend the rules to have you all visit me at the same time,' Harry told them, his eyes going from one to the other as they all stood around his bed.

'Son you shouldn't stress yourself,' Des told him. 'You have been doing so well.' 

'I have no intention of stressing myself dad,' Harry told him calmly. 'I just need to talk to you and I really need you all to listen to me very carefully.' He paused, giving time for his words to sink in. When no one said anything, Harry continued :

'I nearly lost my life. I have been told that I died three times yet here I am. I don't know why I didn't die when according to my doctors my injuries where fatal but I'm guessing that its not my time yet and that I might have a guardian angel in the shape of my mum. I am pretty sure she saved me. I have realized how life can end in the blink of an eye, how we shouldn't take anything or anyone for granted. I was having a wonderful normal morning with my husband, having breakfast, drinking tea, making plans for the day when all of a sudden I was shot. I died on my door step while I bled out in my husband's arms but they brought me back. I have been given another chance at life and I will not waste it. I have realized that life is too short to waste time on grudges and pettiness.' Again Harry let his gaze wander from one to the other but nobody said anything.

'So today I will address this issue that seems to be causing a rift in my family and I feel like I need to explain some things to you. Since we are on talking truths, I have some of my own to share too before the media starts twisting things and publishing lies. It is only fair that you should hear these things from me rather than read them. The first time I met Louis, I was scared of him. Well, not necessarily scared of him. I was more scared of the situation that Adam had put me in. He was asking something of me that I was not ready for.' Harry diverted his gaze towards his father because he was going to start by telling his father the truth.

'Dad, you need to know the truth before it hits the media. I want you all to hear it from me before its out there. I will be writing Louis' biography so some things will be out there and the media will be after us, maybe after you guys too asking questions and stuff but dad, I want you to know the truth from me before it gets all twisted in the tabloids. When I left home after college to come here, I needed money. Money to live and to pay for my studies. Niall was kind enough to let me stay with him but I wanted to pay my own way not free load off of my friends. I had no idea how expensive life in London would be but Zayn got me a job at a gay club where I worked as a stripper.' He heard his father's shocked in take of breath, his eyes go wide at Harry's revelation. He covered his mouth with his hand.

'It wasn't so bad dad,' Harry assured him not wanting to upset his father. 'We didn't strip naked. We danced and stripped. However, when Adam sent me to VIP that day, I was scared because I knew what happened in VIP and....'

'Oh my God no no,' Des cut him off with a strangled sob. Harry reached out his free hand towards his father and took his hand, squeezing it gently.

'Dad I didn't do what you're thinking. Relax. Adam sent me to VIP that day and I found Louis in that room. Louis was a gentleman to me. He could've done whatever he wanted to me, he could've demanded anything from me and I was told to obey him but he didn't. He didn't make me do anything at all. He was kind to me and talked to me, asked me about my life. He didn't get mad at me when I confessed to him that I was still a virgin and he didn't tell Adam either so that I wouldn't lose my job. He made Adam not send me to VIP again but to keep me in the no touch zone.' Harry paused and looked up at Louis who was looking at him with so much fondness and reverence that Harry's heart sped up. They could all hear it on the heart monitor. 'From the very first moment we met, Louis had my best interests at heart. He protected me.' He squeezed Louis' hand and Louis placed a kiss on top of his head. Harry sighed into the kiss and continued :

'When we started seeing each other, Louis confused me. I knew he was kind but I also knew that he was troubled. He intrigued me and fascinated me and I knew that I was falling for him. Yes he was complicated and moody and he scared me when he got mad and yelled. He intimidated me but I knew with certainty that under his stern exterior, behind the anger, there was a deep pain which drove Louis. I saw a side of Louis that none of you ever got to see. You saw glimpses of it but I knew him even when he didn't want me to know him.' Harry paused again, taking in a few deep breaths then raised their linked hands to his lips and kissed the back of Louis' hand then looked back at them.

'Louis took nothing from me that I did not want to give him. I gave him my virginity freely. He never asked me for it or forced me to. I knew you all had concerns about his intentions with me and I don't blame you but you were wrong. He never wanted to touch me. There were times when I literally had to beg him to touch me,' Harry explained.

'He raped you!' Zayn said through gritted teeth, his anger palpable. 'We were not wrong in assuming he was bad for you.' Harry rested his soft gaze on Zayn.

'Yes he did Zayn, he did rape me,' Harry agreed calmly, speaking slowly. 'But I triggered him. I didn't know at the time of course but I triggered him.' Zayn scoffed disgusted.

'What could you have possibly triggered in him to warrant what he gave you Harry? Stop protecting him for fuck's sake,' Zayn asked him exasperated. 'We warned you about him from day one but you did not listen. You protected him and you keep on protecting him!' Louis ran his hand over Harry's hair lovingly. He could see where this was going.

'Harry you don't have to sweetheart. Let it go,' Louis told him softly.

'I want to Lou. They need to know the truth,' Harry said. He turned his attention back to Zayn. 'Now you know Louis' past. You know what he has been through, what he had to endure. He has never known love. He grew up beaten and raped. You asked what I could have possibly done to trigger him. Well, I made the mistake of telling him I loved him. I didn't know what was behind those three words and what they did to Louis, what they meant to him or what they triggered inside him. By saying those three words to him, I raised his demons because those three words were the words that his father always said to him every time he raped him! I triggered in him a memory so painful that he reacted the only way he knew how. He wasn't himself and I knew that! I never ever blamed him for what he did! Louis never hurt me! Ever. When he realized what he had done to me, he tried to send me away by making me believe that he didn't feel anything for me. To protect me from him! He was ashamed! He was in pain for what he had done to me and yes I forgave him right away without knowing what was lurking in his past and without knowing when that demon inside of him would present itself again. I forgave him without demanding an explanation or pressing him to tell me about his past. And yes I was scared, of course I was. Yes I was terrified for a while but I knew that Louis was in pain and that he needed a lot of love and understanding. I trusted him and when he promised me that he would never hurt me again, I believed him and trusted him blindly.' He stopped again and took in a deep breath. They watched him wince.

'Does it hurt sweetheart?' Louis asked him. 'Do you need your inhaler?' Harry exhaled in small shaky breaths.

'I'm alright,' he reassured Louis even though his lung and a half felt as if they were on fire. He returned his gaze to his father and friends who stood there looking at him with worry and concern. 'I watched him fight those demons. I watched him struggle with them for me because he wanted to show me that he could be better for me, that he could earn my forgiveness and respect and love but he already had them all. I accepted him with everything that he had. I wanted to help him fight them. I wanted him to let me in but he wasn't ready to. So I stood by him during his personal war and I got hurt yes. Every war has casualties and I was a casualty. And when he finally opened up to me and let me in, I saw the horrors he had endured and I loved him harder and forgave him harder because it was not my job to punish him. He had been punished enough and paid a dear price for the life he made for himself. Louis has been punished enough and I will let none of you punish him! We heal with love not punishment! Louis needed me to love him and stand by him and accept him and that's what I did. Louis is a good person who suffered a horrible past at the hands of the person who was supposed to protect him. He has come a long way and I am very proud of him.'

'If you expect me to forgive him....'

'Zayn!' Harry said, raising his voice a little, stopping him mid-sentence. 'It is not YOUR job to forgive him. Louis owes you nothing and he doesn't need your forgiveness. In this relationship there is just me and him. I forgave him and that's the only forgiveness Louis needed. We moved on from it. That is part of our past. He owes you no explanations but because this whole story could blow up and the media will be all over it, he protected you and told you his story. He didn't have to but he did. Now whether you forgive him or not, it will change nothing between me and him. We are at peace with his past and what happened between us but it might change a lot between us.' Harry stopped again, his breathing rapid as if he had been running. All eyes in the room were wide and fixed on him, expectant.

'I will say this once. I love you all very very much and we are not friends here but family but Louis is my husband and if it ever comes down to a choice between him and you, it will always be him. I will not have anyone disrespecting my husband or punishing him for things you do not understand or are unwilling to accept. I vowed on our wedding day that I would choose him in a hundred life times in any circumstances and I will not break my vow to him. It will always always be him. I don't want it to come down to that. I don't want to lose any of you. I want us all to be a family so please please don't make me choose.' Liam cleared his throat.

'Craig was right,' he said quietly. 'He knew.' Harry nodded.

'He knew. What you don't know is that he was blackmailing Louis with the information he had. He took samples from me without my consent. He threatened to go to the police and expose Louis if he didn't stay away from me which is why Louis never came to visit me when I was in hospital. Craig wanted me for himself. I did what I had to do at the hearing. Craig was accusing Louis of beating me and raping me. That's what he saw when I went into the ER that day but it wasn't like that.' He squeezed Louis' hand, placing their joined hands on his heart. 'I couldn't let Louis pay for that. I couldn't let him go to prison. Nobody knew what he was going through but I did.' Louis wrapped his free arm around his shoulder and hugged him tightly. Harry melted into him. Des shook his head.

'You hurt my son,' he told Louis in a broken voice.

'Dad you hurt me too,' Harry told him in a soft non-accusatory tone as he still leaned into Louis' arms. 'Emotional and mental abuse are painful too and just as bad as physical abuse. But I forgave you because I love you and I want you in my life. You and I, we moved past it haven't we and we are rebuilding our relationship. Look at us now dad. We are better than ever and the same has happened with Louis.' Harry looked at the faces around him, the faces of the people he loved the most in the world.

'If you want me in your lives, Louis has to be in it too. There is no me without him. We are a package deal, two for one. I will not split my time between him and you. Like I said, life is too short and everything could be gone tomorrow. I will not have a life with you without him in it. I will not allow you being okay with me but not being okay with Louis. It doesn't work that way. I know all of this might be hard for you to understand but it is not up to you to forgive Louis. That is solely up to me and I forgave him. It's done. So, if you want me in your lives, you have to have Louis too. I respect your decisions whatever they may be. I hope they will be positive ones so we can all move past this together and move on to the next chapter of our lives together.' The room was silent then Des placed a kiss on top of his son's head.

'Whatever makes you happy my son. You forgave me so I can understand why you would forgive him for what he did to you. By no means it's okay....'

'Dad, he suffered enough for what he did. It killed him. I watched the regret and shame and pain of it all destroy him and I watched him hate himself for it. I died along with him. Its past.' Des hugged him to his chest.

'Alright,' he said. Then he let Harry go and stood up straight and looked at Louis, studying him for a beat. Louis waited, for what he didn't know but he was ready for anything. Des extended his hand towards Louis and Louis took it.

'My son forgave you. I do too. I understand now. Your childhood was messed up and I feel sorry for you that you had to endure all that. I really am. My heart goes out to you but you will NOT hurt him again.'

'Dad,' Harry warned gently. 

'Honey,' Louis stopped him. 'He's your fatehr and he's doing his job by you. Let him look out for you and protect you even if its from me. Let him sweetheart.' Harry nodded and cuddled closer into Louis' side. Niall stepped up closer to the bed. Des moved to make way for him.

'Haz, I...I had no idea. All of this is just...its just so hard. I can't begin to imagine what you went through all by yourself. I just wish...I wish you had trusted me and told me what had happened.' Harry gave him a small smile.

'You were the first one I told about Louis remember? You were very supportive. All of you were but had your doubts about him. If I had told you what had happened, you would have hated Louis and kept me from being with him.'

'It would've been the right thing to do,' Niall told him. Harry reached out and squeezed his hand.

'No it wasn't. We were meant to be together. Nothing and no one could've kept me away from him. We tried but it wasn't successful. We simply gravitated back towards each other.'

'But Haz, he raped you,' Niall argued in a hushed tone. 'He beat you so bad. I remember how you couldn't walk or sit. Oh God why didn't I see it?'

'Niall hey, its not your fault,' Harry was quick to reassure him. 'I didn't want any of you to look at Louis in a bad way because even when he raped me and beat me, I knew it wasn't him. I knew something bad had happened to him and that it was that that was driving him. He had no fault Niall and I don't want you to blame him or yourself. He was a victim too, suffering all that had happened to him in silence. Please Niall don't feel at blame here because you are not. I am a good actor,' Harry told him giving him a smirk. Niall chuckled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

'You are a little shit that's what you are. C'mere,' he told Harry as he pulled him into a bear hug. 'I love you man. I thought I was going to lose you Haz. I thought you were going to....to,' Niall said into his hair, his voice thick with emotion. He hugged Harry tighter to his chest.

'I'm not going anywhere Niall. I love you too.' They pulled apart then Niall looked at Louis with red wet eyes.

'Don't hurt him ever again. Next time I won't be so forgiving,' Niall told him as he shook his hand. 'I want Harry to be happy and if this is what he wants, then I want it too but I will be keeping an eye on you. One step out of line and I will be on you like a puma.' Louis shook his hand.

'There won't be a next time Niall. I promise you that. Thank you for keeping me in line but just know that I'd rather die than hurt him again.' Shawn stepped up beside Niall, hugged Harry and shook Louis' hand but said nothing. Harry's eyes went on Zayn and Liam. Zayn looked angry but Liam's eyes were soft and worried though he looked tense.

'Zaynie,' Harry whispered. Harry loved Zayn a lot and he knew perfectly well that Zayn was hurt and upset. Zayn clenched and un-clenched his fists, keeping his eyes down.

'I can't do this,' he said angrily but quietly. 'I can't pretend that he didn't fucking rape you and beat the shit out of you. I can't play nice with him and ignore it. Its not right just because he has daddy issues....'

'Zayn!' Liam snapped at him. Zayn raised his head and looked at Liam.

'I will not play happy families with this rapist!' he spat. Louis flinched at Zayn's harsh words and Harry was quick to squeeze his hand tightly. Zayn turned his angry eyes on Harry.

'You might be able to forgive what he did to you but I can't. I will not be a part of it.'

'Zayn please,' Harry whispered, his chest rising and falling rapidly but Zayn shook his head once.

'I am not going to put a choice to you Harry as we already know that he comes before and above everyone else. You made that pretty clear to us so I am going to remove myself from this. I don't want to be where he is.'

'Zayn no,' Harry begged as his eyes filled with tears. I love you. Please.' Zayn stood his ground.

'You love him more so enjoy your life with him but I'm out. I can't forgive him. Goodbye Harry.' He walked towards the door. 'Liam!' he barked. Liam jumped a little at Zayn's raised voice. Zayn hardly ever raised his voice. He looked at Harry with his eyes full of tears.

'I'm so so sorry Harry. My place is where he is. Please understand,' Liam told him in a broken voice as he hurried after Zayn.

'Liam,' Harry choked out but the door closed silently behind them. Louis gathered him in his arms as Harry cried softly, his face buried in Louis' shoulder. He carded his fingers through his hair, letting his nails gently scrape against his scalp.

'Its alright baby. It will be alright. Don't cry. Sh sh sh.'

'Give him some time,' Niall said. 'You know what he's like. He loves you so much Haz and he probably feels the most guilty out of all of us because he got you the job at Garland's and he didn't protect you from men like Louis. He needs some time Hazza. Be patient. Zayn will be back. Liam will talk him through this difficult time and he will see reason. You just think about getting better okay.' Harry pulled away from Louis and smiled at Niall.

'Thank you,' he said softly. A knock on the door brought their heads up. The door opened and Walter walked in, a big smile on his face.

'I bring good tidings,' he said looking a Harry as he walked over to the bed. He handed Harry his laptop. 'Start writing. I got you a publishing deal with Bloomsbury Publishing.' 

'What?' Harry asked. 'That quick?' Walter chuckled.

'Of course! Who would pass up the opportunity to publish Louis Tomlinson's biography? And written by his nearly dead husband too? This case has been on the news for the last few days. I told them that your story will be out soon and that you didn't intend to give interviews regarding what happened but that you were having your biography written and that you would explain everything in it. Who in their right state of mind would pass up the opportunity of publishing your book? However, there's a downside.'

'I thought so,' Louis said. 'What is it?' Walter looked at Harry.

'You only have six weeks to write the book. This case will come up in the open soon. Arrests have been made. You father will be transferred from Leeds to London. There will be a date issued for court hearing. Since Craig admitted everything, it will not go to trail. We will see what will happen in regards to your father. If he pleads not guilt well, we will go to trail.'

'How can he not plead guilty?' Louis asked, appalled by the mere idea that his father would do that.

'He can,' Walter told him. 'Its his right and if he gets a good lawyer, well anything is possible though with all the evidence and statements from all parties involved, I don't think any lawyer would pick up this losing case. So, Harry you think you can have a draft of the book in six week's time?'

'Walt, he recovering,' Louis protested. 'He can't stress himself.' Harry took his head.

'I won't stress I promise. I'll be here in bed with you beside me, recovering and writing your book and when they send me home, I promise to take it easy, stay in bed and recover some more but yes I will have the book written by the end of six weeks.' Louis shook his head not entirely convinced.

'Honey, let's see what Dr. Evans says shall we?' Harry pouted at him.

'I'm only going to use my fingers to type Lou. I promise I won't stress.' Louis took in a deep breath, exhaled and smiled at his husband then looked at Walter.

'Tell them we will have the book in six weeks. You have your first book deal baby. Let's do this.'

COMING SOON....CHAPTER BEFORE THE LAST....CHAPTER 41 THEN AN EPILOGUE AND ADSOL WILL BE DONE.


End file.
